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barakittens517 · 2 years ago

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PT II: The Finding

Summary: In which Ellis makes some friends! (kinda)

PT 1: The Lost PT III: The Reunion

Words: 3,851

Warnings: mentions of alcohol use, minor (slightly graphic) character death, minor religious themes

Pairing: Morpheus x gender neutral reader

Notes: Gifting a wayyy longer second part because I really want to get to the good shit!!! I'm kidding, but I promise this is going somewhere good (:

Tag List: @ponyboys-sunsets

Now you were awake, at a truck stop far from anywhere you’d been before. Your homicidal companion was preoccupied with one of the driver’s side wheels, and he couldn’t see you.

Now… Now’s your chance.

You hop over the car door and sling your backpack over your shoulder. You practically sprint towards the gas station, hoping and praying he won’t look up.

You make a beeline towards the middle aisle to hide behind the displays. So far, so good. You pretend to be fixated on the snacks, but you keep peeking over the aisle to make sure Rin is still outside.

“You findin’ everything all right?” a gruff voice asks from behind you. You jump at the sudden noise.

“Y-yeah, I think so,” you stutter. “Can’t decide between a Snickers and a Reese’s cup.”

The gas station attendant behind you chuckles. “That’s a tough one. My vote would be for the peanut butter.”

You offer a nervous smile and meet the attendant’s eyes. He’s older, likely in his fifties, with graying sideburns and a scuffed baseball hat with St. John’s Outfield Angels stitched on the front. The nametag on his collared shirt reads Ryan.

“Thank you, Ryan,” you say.

“Not a problem,” he replies. He tilts his head to the side as your eyes meet, and the strange look that follows makes your stomach flip. In less than a moment his friendly demeanor drops, and he falls to his knees in front of you with tears in his eyes.

“Jesus Christ!” you exclaim. His hands are clasped in prayer, and he’s rocking back and forth, muttering something under his breath. “Are you okay?” you ask. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see a man in a cream-colored jacket heading for the front doors.

Shit.

“Um, Ryan?” you ask. “Should I call an ambulance?” You crouch down as the bell on the front door rings out. Rin is here. You place a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, and he looks up at you.

“... Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Mea culpa, mea culpa, oh God, get away from me!” he yells. You wrench your hand to your chest and fall backwards to the floor. You can see Rin watching with the ghost of a smile on his face.

Ryan starts sobbing in earnest now, pressing his palms into his eyes. “I’ve been a terrible man, a sinner and a liar an-and, oh, God forgive me, I am my father’s son!” he wails. You’re terrified, seemingly frozen in place less than a foot from him.

He looks up at you, eyes rimmed red, and that strange look returns. “Forgive me,” he whispers, so quiet you have to lean forward to hear him. At that moment he rips the ball point pen clipped to his pocket and clicks it open. “You have to forgive me,” he pleads, then plunges the tip into his neck.

“No!” you shriek, but it’s too late already. He’s hit a major artery, and he’s dead before his head even hits the tile. For the second time in twenty-four hours, you are covered in someone else’s blood.

Rin applauds from the front counter. “You know, I was wondering about you, Ellis. Thinking you might try and run like this, but now? Now, I think we’ll get along just fine.”

You wipe the blood from your cheek and try to remember what breathing feels like. “What… the fuck,” you whisper, and now the tears won’t stop streaming.

Living as long as you have was never this brutal. You avoided most confrontations. The only pain inflicted was on you, never anyone else.

Rin steps over the body in front of you and grabs your hand to pull you up. “I had a feeling about you. Come on, let’s, uh… let’s get you out of here.” You follow him blindly to the front of the store. “Go get in the car. I’m gonna grab a couple of things and I’ll follow you out,” he says, holding the door open.

You walk silently to the convertible and slink down into one of the seats. You unwrap Rin’s kerchief to wipe the blood off of your hands and find two disembodied eyeballs staring back at you from the cupholder.

What the fuck.

The alarm bells ringing in your head are muted by the general dissociation you feel. You’re still holding the now-half-melted peanut butter cups in your hand.

You’re startled by the slam of the car door. Rin is holding out a blue Gatorade.

“Here,” he says. “It’s gonna be a long drive, and we have a lot of catching up to do.”

You take a sip and choke- it’s definitely blue Gatorade, but it’s also definitely mixed with some kind of liquor. “We do?”

He grins as he starts the car and pulls onto the highway. “We do.”

You take longer sips of the Gatorade as he drives, grateful for the hydration and the alcohol. The panic you constantly felt is starting to wear off, enough for you to start questioning everything about your seemingly pointless existence.

“You seem to know a lot about what’s going on,” you start. “Who even are you?”

“You really wanna know?” he asks. You nod. “Well, let’s start with you. Ellis. Something tells me you’ve been passing through a lot of towns in your time.”

You recall your brief conversation at the bar, if you could even call it that. You sigh. “Um… yeah. I don’t- I guess I don’t remember where I started. It’s just been… a lot of years. Like… I don't know. I don’t really keep track anymore.”

Rin nods. You take another sip of the Gatorade, now half gone. The buzz is making you braver.

“I don’t die,” you say out loud, and the thought startles you. “I never have.” You think back as far as you can, just before the beginning. You were younger, but you looked the same. You always looked the same.

“Do you dream?” Rin asks. The idea of dreaming catches you off guard. You rarely sleep, and when you do, it’s never more than a couple hours.

“No,” you answer.

“What’s the earliest memory you have?” he asks.

You shrug. “Somewhere… there was a big war. In Europe. The first one,” you clarify.

“And you’ve always been by yourself?” he asks.

You think hard but come up blank. “I guess I don’t know. I think so. It’s all… blank.” He nods. You take another sip of Gatorade and grimace at the burn of liquor going down your throat. “What about you? Do you know me, or something?” you ask.

Rin smiles. “Know of you, maybe. I imagine we must’ve left around the same time.”

“Left where?” you ask.

“The Dreaming, Ellis. I left when the Creator abandoned it. Abandoned us.” The distinct malice in his tone makes you shiver.

“I’m sorry, the Creator? You mean, like, God?” You hadn’t thought about God in over a century. He didn’t seem to care much for you.

Rin laughs. “No, worse. Much worse. His name is Morpheus.”

Your head is spinning trying to follow his story. “So… so, what? What does he create?”

For the first time, Rin removes his sunglasses. Two mouths with perfectly white rows of teeth smile from his eye sockets.

“Jesus Christ,” you whisper under your breath. He smiles.

“He creates dreams,” Rin answers, “And nightmares. I suppose you don’t have to guess what that makes me.” A moment later, he replaces his glasses. You both sit in silence for a moment. “Make sense so far?” he asks.

“Y-yeah,” you stutter. “I think so.”

“He called me The Corinthian,” he says.

You nod. “Guess the name you told me wasn’t too far off,” you say. “I would’ve gone with Ian, I think.”

The Corinthian laughs. “I’ll take that into consideration next time.”

All things considered, you feel better. Lighter. The Corinthian isn’t going to kill you. You’ve been reassured about your existence- of course you never felt like you belonged. You don’t. Whatever the Dreaming is, that’s where you’re supposed to be.

You just don’t remember how you got here.

Or what that makes you.

You cross the state lines into Georgia quicker than you’d expected. The Corinthian drives like a bat out of hell, but you haven’t seen a single cop in hundreds of miles. You haven’t seen much of anyone, to be honest. And you’re grateful, in a sense. The last person that saw you stuck a Bic in his carotid.

The thought still makes you ill, a feeling even the liquor won’t help. The Corinthian pulls into a hotel parking lot and parks off to the side.

“Alright, so here’s the deal,” he starts. “I have a job to do.”

“Rose Walker,” you say. He nods.

“Now, I have reliable information that places her brother somewhere-” he motions to the highway going east- “around here. I intend to find him.”

“So you’re… dropping me off?” you ask. You didn’t usually stay at hotels, and you definitely weren’t looking forward to interacting with other people any time soon. You’d almost hoped the Corinthian would just take you with him, wherever he was going.

He nods. “There’s gonna be a convention here, the day after tomorrow. I’ll be back then, and I’ll have her little brother with me.” He holds his hand up to stop you from interrupting him. “Now, I understand there’s a lot you don’t know. That’s fine. You’ve been helpful up till now, so I’m willing to help you out. There’s already been rooms booked for me. You just hang out, and don’t cause too much trouble, and we’ll all be home free by the end of the week.”

You have so. Many. Questions. “A convention?”

The Corinthian grins proudly. “I’m their guest of honor. Get to make a speech and everything. Now, that room’s booked under ‘The Corinthian’. They’re, uh... They’re big fans of my work. You just tell ‘em you’re with me.”

“Okay.” You shift in the leather seat, unbuckling the belt to grab your backpack. “So I just… wait? And then what?”

His expression darkens. “I’ll take care of the rest. Just… stay in the room, okay? We don’t need you making anyone else off themselves with office supplies.” It’s a joke, but it stings. You force a smile anyways.

“No problem.” You slam the door closed- probably a little too forcefully, and start towards the front doors. The Corinthian leans out the window.

“Here!” he shouts, tossing a pair of black aviators at you. You hold them up and wave as he burns out onto the highway.

The pit in your stomach is growing, but you try not to think about it. Instead, you put the sunglasses on and try to focus on the convention decorations.

A red banner reads WELCOME CEREAL CONVENTION in bold red letters. You briefly wonder what in the fuck that actually means.

Inside, you find a line of people waiting to check in. The ones who already have are wearing name tags like The Choir Boy and The Good Doctor. As much as you want to know more, you remember the Corinthian’s warning. You’re supposed to stay in the room.

Minutes later, you reach the front desk. A very large man in cat ears is sitting behind it, propping up a clipboard on his stomach. “Name?” he asks.

“I’m, uh, I’m with the Corinthian,” you say. His name tag says Fun Land.

He looks down at his clipboard, then back at you, annoyed. “You’re not The Corinthian,” he states plainly.

“I know, I said I’m with him,” you repeat. Fun Land sighs.

“Fine, fine, whatever.” He rolls his eyes and crosses off a name on the clipboard. “Guest of honor gets free reign, I guess.” He hands you a lanyard with The Corinthian +1* scratched into the label and a room key with a number.

“Thank you,” you say.

“Yep,” Fun Land replies, looking over your shoulder towards the man behind you. “Next!”

You make your way upstairs and find your room. It’s a fancy suite- you assume presidential. Something about the Corinthian tells you he wouldn’t have it any other way.

You hang around for a bit, watching the cable channels on the TV until your stomach starts rumbling. You hadn’t really thought to pack food. You don’t want to risk adding to the Corinthian’s bill (if he was even going to be the one paying), but you do have cash. And there is a bar downstairs.

Without a second thought, you grab a handful of bills and stuff them into your front pocket. You take your name tag and the room key with you. You make your way downstairs to the hotel bar and pick a stool farthest from the door, away from most people.

They’re all grouped together like schools of fish, name tags proudly displayed. None of them make sense to you, but you’re glad you have yours.

You order two vodka lemonades and a platter of mozzarella sticks. The drinks are strong and the mozzarella sticks are piping hot. You’re done with the platter and both drinks before you even realize it.

The alcohol is kicking in, and you feel calmer about the situation you’re in. Normally you’d be panicking, surrounded by strange people, wearing sunglasses indoors in case you accidentally cause a suicide. Now you’re still panicking, but in a manageable sense. The panic is relegated to a small voice echoing in the very back of your mind. You sit up a little straighter as you order another drink.

One of the ladies from the smaller group breaks away and heads towards you, waving. “You’re with the Corinthian, I see,” she smiles. Her name tag reads Dark Angel.

“Yes,” you answer, “I got here a little early.”

“Are you a fellow collector?” she asks, eyebrows raised.

“Absolutely,” you answer without hesitation. You have no idea what you’ve just agreed with, or what a collector does. You’re assuming it is not, as the sign would have you think, about cereal.

She grins. “That’s fantastic news. Now, you certainly don’t need to make a speech or anything, but you’re more than welcome to join the conference activities. We’re holding several workshops over the next couple of days, and I’m hosting the panel tonight.” She motions to the bartender. “Anything they order, put it on my tab.” She touches your shoulder and winks before rejoining her group.

Was she… flirting with you?

Regardless, you take her up on the offer and order two more vodka lemonades and a basket of chicken wings. It’s basically dinner, right? The bartender hands you a pre-mixed bottle the size of a pint of whiskey.

Once the basket of chicken wings is gone, you decide it’s time to head to bed. You mentally pat yourself on the back for causing no harm, even though you didn’t listen to the Corinthian entirely. Besides, it’s not like he’s going to find out.

You take the bottle of vodka lemonade with you, giving the bartender a nod of thanks for the life hack. Why order a bunch of little drinks when you could carry a whole portable bottle of them? You stumble into the carpeted hallway and hear Dark Angel’s voice coming from a conference room off to the left.

You peek in the doorway. There’s a crowded auditorium. It looks like she’s giving a TEDTalk of some sort. Huh.

You sneak into the back of the room- only for a moment, you tell yourself. Just to see what the convention’s about.

“I see a lot of old faces in this crowd, and a lot of new ones,” Dark Angel says. She winks at you from the stage, and you raise your bottle to her. She smiles. “I’m glad we could all make it this year. Aside from The Family Man, of course, but that’s no bother.”

You zone out for a moment to take a look at the people seated around you. Something about them makes you incredibly uncomfortable. They’re hanging on every word she says. Some even have pens and pads of paper to take notes.

“This… business that we’re in, it’s hard work, isn’t it?” Dark Angel asks. The crowd murmurs in agreement. “We don’t get a lot of acknowledgement for our successes. However, I’m hoping to change that in the near future. Considering our remarkable turnout, I’ve been talking with Nimrod.” She gestures towards a shorter man seated in the front, wearing large glasses. He smiles nervously at her acknowledgement.

“The organizers of the convention have been talking, and we’d like to introduce a cash prize for one very special collector each year.” You perk up at the mention of money. You wouldn’t mind winning, granted, you’re not even sure what winning looks like.

Dark Angel smiles. “Now, this would be completely voluntary. Anyone wanting to sign up would need to cough up $30 to be considered in the running. Does that sound fair?” she asks. The crowd nods in unison.

“Now, I understand we all have our motivations for collecting. Nimrod and I thought this would add a bit of fun into the mix. There will be many opportunities to sign up over the next few days, and the winner will be announced at next year’s convention. Any questions so far?”

A man in the third row, dressed in a three-piece suit and hat, raises his hand. “How is the winner decided?” he asks.

Dark Angel nods. “Good question. The organizers of the convention and a few volunteers will need to keep record of those who sign up. They’ll watch for relevant news in the next year. A collection that makes headlines will be worth the most points. And, of course, you’ll want to keep track of your own. Next year, we’ll collaborate with all participants and tally up scores. The first winner will be announced by the guest speaker.”

“What if we don’t make the news?” someone shouts.

Dark Angel shrugs. “Then you’re not a very good collector, are you?” The crowd ‘oohs’ in response.

You take another sip of your drink. They’re definitely not talking about fucking Cocoa Puffs, that’s for sure.

“Before we move on, some final notes. The last day for a body to qualify will be a week before the convention. No last-minute points will be counted, especially near or on convention grounds. We don’t shit where we eat, right?” She pauses for maximum effect. You start to feel sick again, and not because of the vodka. Something is seriously wrong here.

“With that out of the way, I’d like to invite our panel members on stage. Please welcome Scratch, Highlander, Uncle Charlie, and our youngest member to date, FUBAR!” Four men take their seats behind the table on stage.

“Uncle Charlie and Scratch are two of our oldest members. FUBAR and Highlander are two of our newest. Now, I’ll be moderating questions and moving the discussion along, but the rest I will leave up to the four of you. Let’s start with an easy one. What inspired you to begin collecting?” Dark Angel asks.

FUBAR answers first, proudly motioning to the American flag pin on his jacket. “I joined the military out of high school, and let me just say, they let you do anything once you’re off base. They’re basically giving you step-by-step instructions on how to get away with murder. And I’m good at it! Why would being discharged stop me?”

“A war machine making war machines,” Dark Angel comments wistfully. “What about you, Scratch?”

Scratch is a middle-aged man wearing a stained tank top and cargo shorts. His steel-toe construction boots stick out like clown shoes under the table. His arms and legs are covered in cuts and scrapes in various stages of healing.

“Well, shit,” he starts, “I never did get professional training. S’mostly just compulsion, I guess. Can’t fuckin’ stand the girlies… Only way to shut ‘em up is tearin’ their throats out, apparently!” Scratch guffaws, and the crowd laughs.

Okay, now you’re going to throw up. It’s no wonder The Corinthian is the guest speaker- you literally met him in the middle of killing someone. Your blood runs cold. Every person in this room has killed. Even you, come to think of it.

You stumble blindly out of the auditorium and immediately throw up in a large potted plant beside the door. You need to get back to your room, like now.

“Rough night?” someone behind you asks. You turn and see a younger guy with long black hair staring at the plant in front of you. His name tag reads Blade Runner. You don’t really want to know why.

“Yeah,” you reply weakly. He reaches for your hand and pulls you up to stand next to him. “I should probably just go to bed.”

Blade Runner doesn’t let go of your arm. “You know, I’ve got just the thing to sober you up. In my room, of course.” He smiles, revealing a row of impossibly sharp teeth. He pulls you closer to himself and you both make your way towards the elevator. “Now, don’t go causing trouble for me, please.”

“O-okay,” you whisper. The ride up is silent, save for the stereotypically quiet elevator jazz in the background. You briefly consider pressing the alarm button, but assume Blade should be considered armed and dangerous.

When the doors open on the fourth floor, he shoves you roughly into the hallway. Your vodka sloshes onto the carpet.

“I’m in 1419,” he says, and you follow the room numbers down to the last door on the right. Your entire body is screaming to make a run for it, but you’re both intoxicated and unarmed. Like an idiot.

The walls are covered in old black and white photos, pinned with notes attached to each of them. You recognize some of the convention members. He’s been keeping track of them, stalking them.

“Impressed?” You hear him behind you, but it’s too late. Excruciating pain radiates from the crown of your skull, and then nothing.

For the first time in over a century, you dream. Well, not really. But for once it’s not just black.

You’re in a landscape of black sand, with mountains lining the horizon. Enormous ivory gates rise up in front of you, carved with details you do not understand.

You nervously walk forward, placing your hands to push them open. The doors creak ominously, but do not move.

“Hello?” you shout. “Is somebody there?”

Silence.

“Where the fuck am I…” you mutter, stepping back to analyze the carvings.

You’ve returned, a voice echoes around you.

“I’ve never been here before,” you reply. “I don’t know what this is.”

The ground begins to rumble beneath you. The gates are shaking now, almost vibrating. You can see a sliver of sky between them as they open.

A shadowy, black figure is standing on the other side. You get the feeling you should already know who they are, but your brain simply won’t place the name.

You will remember.

#the sandman #Morpheus #Dream of the Endless #Morpheus x reader #Dream x gn! reader #The Corinthian #netflix sandman

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xpeachesncream · 4 years ago

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it takes two | one shot (myg)

summary: min yoongi was the one who came to understand you and took you for you. but, when boundaries start getting crossed and priorities begin to change, you start to question if your relationship with your bestfriend is strong enough to make it through.

pairing: athlete!reader x athlete!myg

genre: bestfriends to lovers au, basketball au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 12.3k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, protected AND unprotected sex (later on), slight breast play, oral (f. receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, missionary, riding/straddling, mentions of alcohol consumption, dancing, mention of marijuana, sex on the beach kinda?, some heavy angst, insecurities, crying, injuries (like a cut/ankle sprain), yoongi is just kind of an idiot at one point

note: heavily inspired by the movie love and basketball. unedited for the most part, pls excuse any spelling/grammar errors.

tags: @ggukkieland @miinoongi @bluesharksandfish @unicornbabylover

⏏︎ now playing: triggered - jhené aiko ; sorry enough - chris brown

First Quarter: 6th Grade

You didn't really have a lot of friends in elementary school. Any, actually. Hell, the girls in your class purposely ignored you because you acted different. Dressed different. Enjoyed the shit boys liked, like playing ball and video games. You couldn't relate to their gel pens, Lisa Frank folders, cute binder stickers and bracelet charms. None of that shit was you. But you didn't care, you were fine by yourself. Nobody to please, nobody to care for.

The only person that came to understand you was Min Yoongi and that's because you played basketball with him and his friends during daycare. At first, it came as a surprise because truthfully, you felt like Yoongi only let you play because he felt bad for you. Which, okay, whatever— so be it. But, after the last round during a game of two versus two, you found yourself on the ground, huge gash on the knee from chasing after the ball before it could go out of bounds.

"Ouch! Crap!" You groaned as you sat up and checked out your knee. Yoongi walks towards you and crouches down, examining the bloody gash.

"Come on." He says, holding out a hand to help lift you up. He swings your arm over his shoulder, already knowing that any sudden movements to your knee can make the wound sting. He takes his time and walks with you as you hop on one leg towards the office, not really saying much. Yoongi wasn't the most talkative in class. He hung out with two or three other boys in your class on the daily, but they were quiet. Weren't much troublemakers, didn't cause ruckus like the other boys did. But, he was still popular among the girls because he was a little cutiepie. You remember walking into the bathroom, hearing Angie and her friends tease her about her crush on Yoongi. Then, the following week, one of her friends also ended up crushing on Yoongi and they bickered [weirdly] in the bathroom about it.

Getting to the office, he sits you down on the bench before approaching the office admin to grab some bandaids and ice for you.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Min?" Mrs. Yao comes over to greet him.

"Y/N's hurt. Can I get a bag of ice and a bandaid for her, please?" Mrs. Yao looks over her shoulder and does a head tilt before sighing. She knew you weren't like the girls in your class, always getting hurt one way or another, being more hardheaded and stubborn than the usual. She grabs a bag of ice and hands the supplies over to Yoongi before placing her hands on her hips.

"You think you can take care of Miss Y/N, or do you need me to help?" He shakes his head.

"I got it, thank you Mrs. Yao." He politely says, giving her a small toothless smile. You silently watch as he walks over, crouching down once again to tend to your wounds. "I don't think this will hurt, but stay still so I can put this bandaid on." He says softly as he spreads the small Neosporin packet across your wound. He wipes his finger down on his pants before removing the back of the bandaid and pressing it against your knee. "There. You should keep the ice on it so it doesn't bruise and stuff." He stands.

"Thank you." He nods as he watches you stand and slightly limp before you adjust your steps to the right pressure. He follows you out, coming back to your side with his hands in his pockets.

"Why don't you act like the other girls?" He asks, cocking an eyebrow at you.

"What? Not liking all the girly stuff that they like?"

"Sure, or you playing basketball. You know girls are usually like cheerleaders and cheer the guys on instead."

"Well, I don't wanna be a cheerleader. I just would rather play. What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing, it's just weird to see."

"You're weird." You snapped back.

"How am I weird?"

"You shoot weird."

"And you don't? I shoot better than you." He furrows his brows.

"No you don't."

"Fine, wanna play one more time? Unless you're a wuss and can't play cause of your knee." You rolled your eyes at the sudden change of events.

"I'll play you, I'm not a wuss. Unless you're afraid to lose to a girl." You taunt him as you both walk back to the court.

"Whatever, I'm not afraid cause I won't lose." He grabs the ball and checks it in. "My ball first."

"Sure, if you think that'll help."

And that's how Yoongi lost to you, busted knee and everything. From there, it was history. You became inseparable, Yoongi becoming a large part of your days and vice versa. His parents eventually became close to yours after the numerous times you both have been dropped off to hang out, or catching rides home after school. Yoongi lived in a nearby neighborhood, only being a good 7 minute walk, to be exact.

Second Quarter: High School, Senior Year

In high school, it became a little different. Yoongi grew up, played varsity basketball and became a fucking jock even though he claimed he would never. Yeah, bullshit. You too, played on the girls varsity basketball team, and surprisingly, you two kept each other close. It was a blessing and a curse though, because you couldn't see your life without Yoongi. He's been there since the 6th grade. However, girls took note of that shit. Trying to use you as their way in to Yoongi's heart, or pants, or both. You made it very clear though that you weren't interested in being a fucking messenger. Girls thought you were mean, but really, they just couldn't handle you. Hence, why you really couldn't relate and be one of them.

Yoongi was still the only person who could understand you and handle you, bad attitude and all. Tomboy habits and all. Not wanting to make friends and all.

"Jesus fucking christ, the day just started." Yoongi says as he watches you toss your duffle bag and backpack aggressively in the back seat of his car. "What's your deal?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired." You slump in his passenger seat after buckling your seat belt.

"Chill, don't start your day like this."

"Whatever, dad." You rolled your eyes, causing him to let out a pathetic chuckle.

"Are you coming to my game later?"

"Yeah, if I'm not too tired from practice."

"Y/N, I always make it to your games even if I'm tired."

"Do you?"

"The fuck? Yes I do. When haven't I?" His tone raises with yours. "Don't try and justify your shit by coming up with lies."

"Yeah, yeah bighead. You'll have plenty of cheerleaders there for you."

"Yeah and?" He smirks. "You're the one I'll be looking for though." He caresses your chin, making you smack his hand away while he laughs loudly.

"You're stupid." You groan as you sink lower in his seat. The rest of the ride to school, you shut your eyes and enjoy the peace before you're having to walk down those annoying, congested hallways.

People rave a lot about senior year, but it honestly hasn't felt special to you. Maybe because you kept the same routine since freshmen year, or maybe you really just didn't care as much as everyone else did about how "special" it was. You've always been locked in to basketball even if your mom wasn't a big fan of it. She wished you were more into cute, girly shit, like makeup, shopping, manis and pedis and dresses and heels, but she came to accept this was the way it was going to be. Especially because your dad was your biggest fan. You came to love basketball, more than just a side hobby. You joined the varsity team and practiced day in and day out. When basketball wasn't in season, you'd play with Yoongi at the park or sign up for camps and tournaments. You just wanted to keep bettering yourself so that you could play in college and get into the league post-grad. Yoongi was the same, and he may or may not have influenced your passion for ball. Either way, he was always supporting you and cheering for you even if the other females hated it.

His ex for sure hated the relationship you had with him even though you really steered clear when she was around. Wasn't your fucking problem or responsibility to take care of her insecurities. Same with his flings.

"Hey, so later, yeah?" He asks in between throwing nods and smiles to girls passing by.

"Mhm." You hum. "You gonna be free for lunch later?"

"I don't know. I know where to find you though if I am."

"Have a good day, punk."

"You too, bub. See you in English." He turns on his heel, walking towards his friends, aka his team members. Aka his jock ass group. Aka the ones females flock to.

Namjoon, Jimin, Eunwoo, Lucas.

They were all pretty boys who knew they were pretty boys and used that to their advantage to make big asshole moves. You hated that Yoonks got pulled in from time to time, but shit, it wasn't your life, you were only a small part of his. Sometimes, they also pulled in the football boys, Jungkook and Seokjin. Even the baseball boys, Hoseok and Taehyung. It was all a huge pretty boy, jock, asshole group in the making outside. A big fucking party for a lot of the girls at school, though.

So even if Yoongi was really the only one in your life, you weren't the only one in his. It is, what it is. As long as he doesn't go switching up on you, then whatever, so be it.

The first half of your classes go by quick, being that you enjoyed your chemistry, french and english classes. You had your english class with Yoongi, Namjoon and Hoseok. You had gotten to know Namjoon and Hoseok a little through it, and it was enough to know that they weren't all that bad. At least in this classroom setting.

"You two going to prom together?" Namjoon asks, making Yoongi snort.

"No, what the hell?" Yoongi responds.

"You guys can have fun at prom." You roll your eyes.

"You're really not gonna go?" Joon bites on the end of his pencil.

"No? The fuck I look like?"

"Y/N, I know it'd be weird as fuck to see you in a dress, but it's senior year. You didn't go last year, did you?" Namjoon asks from Yoongi's other side.

"Really, Namjoon?" You give him a look as if it could state the obvious.

"Well shit, I don't know. I know it's not your thing but can't really say I would have noticed either way." Hoseok laughs, causing you to throw your pen at his head before flicking him off.

"Miss Y/N!" Mrs. Maxwell calls you out mid-movie, eyes wide and in disbelief at how you're acting.

"What?! He started it." You slumped back in your seat and let out a sigh.

"Not another word." She says sternly.

"Not another word." You mock her under your breath.

"Aye, stop. You and that attitude boutta get in some trouble the last weeks of senior year." Yoongi puts his hand on your wrist, causing you to shake your head and click your teeth.

"Anyway, you should go." Hoseok whispers as he leans over on the table to look at you.

"No. Besides, with what date?"

"Take the basketball." Joon snickers.

"You're a complete dumbass, Namjoon. Stop talking." You snap.

"Maybe they're right, bub. It's senior year and it's coming to an end quick. I'd hate for you to regret it." Yoongi turns to you and says lowly.

"You know that won't happen." But really, part of you did feel a little bad. You knew it wasn't your scene, and you really didn't care what people thought of you when it came down to it. However, you always wondered what it would be like if someone liked you. If someone wanted you. Crushed on you so hard that they couldn't keep their hands off of you, couldn't stop thinking of you. Your first love. To feel pleasure, pain. Mixture of emotions simply by being in love. You wondered what it would be like to lose your virginity and have good, good sex. Besides, you were a human with needs. But the only person you have ever been close to was Yoongi. For the most part, you didn't see him that way because you knew he definitely didn't. But, you also couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to take your relationship to that point. If it was anyone, he would be the one you'd have feelings for. He would be your first kiss, your first everything. Because Yoongi was comfort and security for you.

But you valued your friendship more than anything.

"Just saying, think about it." He follows up.

"Think about getting an expensive dress and painful ass heals to wear for one night, just to dance around in 'em and take one professional pic with a date? Maybe get railed if I'm lucky?" You playfully wiggle your eyebrows making Yoongi shake his head.

"Don't be such a party pooper for once."

"Mmm. Great reasoning. Really convincing me here." You laugh it off even though in all honesty, you were thinking about it.

The bell rings and thank god it's finally lunch because you were fucking starving. Appetite and attitude on na-na, no doubt. You silently part ways with Yoongi to stop by your locker and grab your lunch. You make your way to the rowdy ass cafeteria, quickly scanning the room to catch a sight of Yoongi. You see him sitting on top of one of the lunch tables with Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin and Taehyung sitting around him. Clearly, Yoongi wasn't free today.

"Wassup baby? Wanna trade that ball in for me?" Jimin says as you pass by their table to make your way outside to the bleachers. You flick him off before rolling your eyes and pretending to gag.

"Fuck off, Park." The group laughs except for Yoongi.

"Wonder if she's got that bad attitude in bed, too." Yoongi doesn't hesitate to smack Jimin upside the head because yeah, no matter what, he was gonna protect you as much as possible. "Owwww, I'm just kidding Yoongi."

"Don't let me hear you say that shit around me ever again."

"Fuck, I'm sorry. It was just a joke." Jimin winces as he rubs the back of his head.

"Damn Min Yoonks, why don't you take her ass to prom if it's like that?" Taehyung says, chewed up food coming into full view as he smacks loudly.

"Why don't you learn how to close your mouth first?" Yoongi spits back.

"Y/N is really rubbing off on you."

"It's manners, idiot. You should've been learned that." Namjoon says, laughing.

"But foreel, why won't you take her? You both are close, you've never seen her that way?" Hoseok asks making Yoongi shake his head in response.

"She's my bestfriend. I value her just the way she is, no more no less."

"Ah, you must have thought about it at least once." Yoongi keeps silent. Luckily, the group easily gets distracted and starts paying attention to Seokjin and Jungkook coming over as they talk about the dates they've scored for prom.

Yoongi has thought about it. Still does. Just like he is for you, you're the only one who understands him and takes him for who he is. You know the real him besides basketball player Yoongi. You're the only one who keeps it real. But he would rather keep it this way than ruin things between you and him. He'd hate to fuck up with you because he knows he can fuck up, there's no hiding from it. He'd never forgive himself if he lost you.

Practice is hell today for you and fuck, you really wanna just go home and lay down for the rest of the evening. Coach had you all running suicides and conditioning drills on the courts outside and pulling scrimmages against each other left and right. Let's not forget how coach is always on your ass right before a game too. Hell, she catches an attitude way worse than you before game time and after a loss. You wanted to avoid that at all costs. But, to avoid taking the bus home and instead hitching a ride with Yoongi, you throw on a hoodie and haul your ass to the gym in some nike slippers. You take a seat on a free end at one of the bleachers, holding Spalding in between your legs with your duffle next to you on the floor. The game is off to a start in about 5 minutes, Yoongi catches sight of you on the bleachers and nods. You give him a small smile as a gesture of good luck, which he reciprocates.

The game starts off intensely, both teams scoring closely even with the boys putting straight pressure. Towards the end of the first half, Yoongi and Eunwoo are the leading scorers, putting their team up by 10. Halftime is a bunch of hoo-haa, with cheerleaders in their itty bitty skirts, trying to shake their asses as they cheer for the boys. The boys don't even hide the fact that their ogling, and it's clear as day they all want some pussy. Quite frankly, they walk around thinking they deserve it cause of how hard they try to pull some wins and put the school on the map. Student government comes up for a bit too, pulling some kind of skit to weirdly promote prom. It makes you cringe and in all honesty, it makes you not wanna go even more, but it is your senior year. If you can snag a date, then maybe.

"Hey." Terra [not a cheerleader but still a pretty, popular chick] plops next to you with a smirk on her face. Immediately, you want no part in it because you already know what she's trying to do.

"Hi?"

"I'm just gonna cut straight to it. Do you know if Yoongi is seeing anyone?"

"How the hell would I know, Terra?" You furrow your brows at her.

"Because you're close to him, aren't you?"

"And? Doesn't mean I'm telling people his business. Besides, he's not obligated to tell me everything just cause we're close." She rolls her eyes.

"Whatever. Look, can you do me a favor and give this to him?" She tries handing you a little ass piece of paper folded neatly with a pink heart decorated on the front.

"Why don't you give it to him yourself?"

"That's no fun." You scoff and roll your eyes. Really, miss girl? "Be a doll for once, yeah?" She winks and slips the note in between your wrist and Spalding so it stays put. You take the note and eye it, letting out a deep sigh as you shove it into your pocket. You weren't in the mood to be extra rude today so you'll give it to him later when he drives you home.

The game finally finishes with Yoongi making a final three, the boys keeping their lead up by 10. Everyone cheers and showers the boys with love after the team has finished shaking hands and high-fiving their opponents. You stick around until the crowd dies down, watching Yoongi flirt with Terra as you swing your duffle bag strap onto your shoulder before slowly heading down the bleachers.

"Hey bighead, good game today." You lightly punch him against the chest.

"I knew you'd come."

"Shut up. I'll be at your car."

"For what?"

"Cause you're taking me home, punk."

"No please?"

"Please." He shakes his head and chuckles before you part ways to let him gather his things in the locker room. When you finally catch sight of his teeny head coming towards you from the gym, you hear him unlock his car to let you in while he continues to walk over.

"Fuuuuuck." He says, throwing his things in the back before buckling his seat belt and switching the gear into drive.

"You have fan mail." Yoongi looks over and sees you clutching the note Terra gave you.

"What's that, a condom?"

"You're sick. It's from Terra."

"Who's that again?" You make a face at him.

"You were just telling her sweet nothings earlier after the game?"

"Oh, Terra with the tig o' bitties. Got it." He shakes his head. "I wasn't telling her sweet nothings."

"Right. You're an absolute dipshit, you know?" You prop up a leg on the seat while you unfold the letter.

"Give it!" You move it away from his grasp and begin to read it out loud.

"Yoongi, you're honestly so hot. If you don't have a date for prom, I just want you to know that I'm free, and I promise I'll give you a good time if you take me." You cackle. "Boy, what the fuck is this? Ew."

"Shut up." He blushes before laughing along with you.

"Look at her, writing her coochie out on paper."

"She isn't."

"Oh, really? Pfft." You softly scoff. "So, are you taking her or what?"

"I don't know? Maybe, damn. What about you?"

"What about me, fool? I told you I'd think about it."

"Go with Jimin. He still doesn't have a date." He hates to say it with how much of an asshole Jimin can be, but if it meant you'd be at your senior prom then Yoongi will let it pass. He'll make sure Jimin doesn't try any slick shit.

"Ew, god no."

"Look, I'll make sure he doesn't go overboard. I promise."

"Why do you want me there so badly, Yoongi?"

"Because it's our last year in high school together and I'd really like to celebrate with you somehow." You sigh heavily.

"Fair enough. Let me sit on it."

"Better hurry and stop keeping that seat warm."

"Don't rush me." You punch his arm, causing a groan to erupt from him.

- - -

Really, you'd rather be anywhere than at prom with Park Jimin holding onto your waist the way he is for the pictures you're taking with him, Yoongi and the rest of their group and dates. After all the pictures and fake smiles, you feel him slowly slip his hand down your dress to try and get a grip on your ass, but before you could do so, you're grabbing his wrist with full pressure and making him wince.

"Don't you fucking dare or else I'll cut your dick off and throw it in a blender."

"Aish, ah, fuck! Okay, I'm kidding, let me go!" He whines lowly. You let go of his wrist after one more good squeeze, causing him to wiggle his hand to get the feeling back.

"Get me some punch, will you? My mouth is dry."

"You know, I might know something else that can help." Jimin wiggles his eyebrows as he continues to hold onto his wrist.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

"Or not. I'll be back." He accepts defeat by smiling from ear to ear before walking off. You sit off to the side, the heels a huge pain in the ass on top of Jimin already being a huge pain in the ass. You lean over on your knees, completely forgetting you have a short dress on, causing boys passing by to whistle and eye at the easy access.

"The fuck are you looking at? Keep it moving." Yoongi says pushing the guys forward before shooting you a look. "Y/N, really?"

"Shit sorry, I forgot. I'm not used to this." You sit up and adjust your dress before rubbing your arms at how self-conscious you suddenly [and unexpectedly] feel.

"Are you having fun at least?" He sits next to you, manspreading on the seat in the navy suit he has on.

"Mmm, sure." You slightly smile at him. "What about you? You actually took Terra, huh?"

"Yeah, it's pretty fun." He chuckles. "Don't lie, I saw you dancing a bit earlier."

"That's when the alcohol hadn't worn off yet." You snort, remembering Seokjin's older brother giving the group alcohol after all the parents were done taking their pictures of you all. Yoongi laughs along with you before he looks over and simply stares at you, hair all done, makeup done perfectly without it being too much. You in a dress.

"You look beautiful tonight, bub."

"You don't look too bad yourself, bubby." You blush before Jimin interrupts the moment with your cup of punch.

"Here, princess."

"You better not be trying anything slick, punkass." Yoongi says.

"Mm, don't worry. I haven't been able to." You kick his shin as you chug your punch, causing him to cough and choke on his own words. "I'd like to peacefully have this slow dance with you at least, damn." You swallow the last bits of punch before you're taking Jimin's hand to the floor. Yoongi watches as you two make your way to the dance floor for a slow dance, slightly regretting that he didn't just ask you to dance.

"Let's dance, babe." Terra's baby voice comes out as she pulls him up from the seat to find a spot on the dance floor. Yoongi is honestly tired of having to keep up with Terra's energy and her clingy ass, but nonetheless, he was happy you were around for prom.

He was really happy you were around for prom, even though you hated this shit more than anything.

He had you in full view ahead, and so did you. He couldn't help but direct his attention towards you and keep his eyes on you. Fuck, he has never seen anyone so beautiful until you walked through Seokjin's doors with Jimin. Look, let's get this straight. Even though you had your own way of expressing yourself, he always loved your natural beauty, your natural glow. He loved watching you on the court and how happy it made you to play ball. He remembers every accomplishment, every milestone you've reached. How you've grown tremendously as a ball player. He would never admit it to you in person, but he definitely admires how you push yourself and how you always do what you can to improve. Hell, you might just be the better player between the both of you. And when you catch him looking over, he doesn't even try and hide it. He doesn't even care that he's still holding onto Terra and slow dancing with her.

Something within you flips. You feel that shit in the pit of your stomach, at the heat of your core.

But, you brush it off and break eye contact first, even if he doesn't stop staring. This couldn't happen, no. This was your bestfriend. You weren't gonna let the things you felt get in the way of that.

Nope.

Suddenly, the song changes to something more upbeat and twerkable, Jimin taking the opportunity to spin you around and grind on you. You really need a distraction anyway, something to rid you of those god awful thoughts about your bestfriend, so you let him and you have fun with it. Everyone around you is having fun anyway, and fuck, you wouldn't have to do this ever again so fuck it.

"Let me get a dance with my bestfriend." Yoongi says to Jimin.

"Go dance with your date!"

"Shut up and switch for a second!" Yoongi says, pushing him off of you so he could get behind and dance with you.

"Yoonks, what the hell?" You laugh.

"Go with it, bub. It's fucking senior year, we're graduating soon." You go with his movements, having the time of your life with everyone around you as prom quickly comes to a close.

When you get into Jimin's car, you knock off your heels as he continues to talk nonstop about the night. Jimin was a cutie but god, you could not stand his mindset for the life of you. You were grateful he had agreed to take you to prom, but damn. Prom was done and all you wanted was some peace and quiet.

"I hope you had fun with me tonight." You give him a toothless smile before slipping your heels back on.

"I did, thank you for taking me. Really." He smiles from ear to ear before leaning over near your seat.

"Can I get just one good smooch for the night?" You look at him before you smirk and lean over near his lips.

"Sure." You whisper.

"Oh fuck, this is actually happening."

"Close your eyes, I know you don't fucking kiss with your eyes open. What are you doing?"

"Right. Sorry." He closes his eyes and puckers his lips. You lean in a little closer, feeling his breath against your lips.

Then you flick his nose.

"Ouch!"

"Peace out, Park." You throw open his door to step out and shut it behind you to quietly walk into your house.

The lights are off and your parents are already tucked into the room for the night, leaving you a note on the fridge reminding you to make sure all the doors are locked before retreating to your room. You do as you're reminded before quietly shutting your door and tossing your heels to the side. You let the pins down from your hair, ruffling it around a bit and relieving any pressure on your head. Before turning away from your dresser, you notice a letter from the one university you had been waiting on. You had been waiting to hear back from Stanford for the longest time, and quite frankly, you had been upset you hadn't heard especially when their scouts were at your game awhile ago.

You had broken down to your parents, to Yoongi, automatically assuming the worst when you heard that other people had already been accepted and scouted for Stanford. Suddenly, you found yourself working harder and harder because you felt like you were lacking in so many areas. You felt low, and like your dream was running miles and miles away from you. Faster than you could keep up.

You take the letter in your hand, but don't want to open it because you don't feel ballsy enough [surprisingly]. You call up Yoongi, not caring that he could possibly be in the middle of getting his dick wet.

"Sup?"

"Are you busy?"

"I was just about to walk into my house."

"Oh, nevermind."

"Need me to come by?"

"I got a letter from Stanford."

"Shit, I'll be there in 2 mins."

And in 2 minutes, he surely was knocking at your window. You slide it up enough for him to climb in, Yoongi still in his prom get-up as well.

"Here." You instantly hand him the letter.

"What, why me? It should be you."

"I can't, I really can't." He sighs.

"Are you sure you won't regret this?"

"No, bub. Please." You sit on the bed and fiddle with your fingers as you watch him rip the envelope open and tear out the letter. You can't even keep your eyes on him as he reads the letter and starts backing away from you.

"Shit."

"What? What?!" You stand, trying your best to keep your tone low. He covers his mouth, causing you to pinch his bicep at how dramatic he was being. "Just say it!"

"You're not going." Your heart sinks, but before you could process it, Yoongi speaks up again. "To any other college because Stanford wants you."

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" You whisper and shove him.

"Congrats, bubby. Guess we'll be together in college too." Your eyes widen.

"Y-you're going? T-to Stanford?" He smiles and nods.

"Yeah, I am."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Look, I just wanted to give you your space. That's all. I found out before you went all cry baby on me."

"Shut up." You say before laughing and jumping into his arms, throwing your legs around his torso while he swings you around. As he sets you back down onto your bedroom floor, your hands linger around his neck, gently tugging on the hair that rested there. He keeps you close, his hands resting around your waist as your chests are still touching. You honestly have no idea what takes over you— perhaps all the feelings you felt tonight at prom taking over, or feeling overjoyed from finally hearing back from Stanford, you couldn't decide. But you crash your lips against his, immediately pulling back after you realized you've just kissed your bestfriend.

You just had your first fucking kiss through accidental causes.

Well, shit.

Was it accidental or no?

Mind is going off on a tangent.

"Woah. I'm so sorry, Yoonks, I—" He doesn't allow for any space between you two, keeping your body flush against his as his lips crash onto yours again to cut you off. To be quite honest, things are moving fast and the kiss deepens quick. You follow his motions, gaining some rhythm as your tongue dances along with his in the [now] wet, sloppy kiss.

"Wait, Y/N." He pulls away as the moment intensifies. "A-are you sure you wanna keep going? To be honest, I don't know if I'll be able to hold myself back and I know you haven't exactly—" He knows it would be your first time and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. I mean, sure, he loved you. You were special to him. But he wanted to make sure your first time was also special, whether it be him or whoever else.

"Please. I want this. I wanna do this with you."

By the looks of tonight, it seems like it's meant to be him.

You press your lips back onto his with the same intensity and start to unbutton his shirt when you feel his hands hike up your dress. He gently pushes you on the bed, crawling over to you as he kicks off his shoes and finishes ripping off his shirt and tie. He slowly removes the straps of your dress down your shoulders and undoes the zipper on the side before slipping it down and leave you in your panties.

You had no bra on.

Yoongi's eyes widen when he realizes such, your cheeks heating up while you watch him stare down your body. You begin to feel incredibly self-conscious so you cover your chest with an arm. Yoongi senses your uneasiness, your confidence shooting down below zero.

"You're beautiful, bub. Don't." He says, gently tugging your arm away and letting it fall limply to the side. You simply nod and let him take the reigns because you had no idea what the fuck you were doing. So many emotions were flooding your mind— you were nervous, you were scared, you were shy, you felt lost and too innocent under Yoongi, even if he knew you like the back of his hand.

And because of that, he could pick up on it with the way your body continued to tense up. He shook off his pants, leaving on his boxers until you were ready for him. Cause fuck, he was ready for you, but he had to take this slow. He had to take care of you.

He lowers himself onto you after the two of you have climbed under the sheets, lowering his head against your neck to press light, feathery kisses along the surface. You felt the tingles shoot down your spine every time his lips made contact, causing you to softly gasp and arch your back at how sensitive you were already feeling.

"If you ever feel uncomfortable, just tell me to stop okay?" He says lowly. You nod in response, Yoongi taking it as leverage to plant a kiss on your lips before moving down to your breasts. He keeps his eyes on you, making sure you don't seem uncomfortable in the slightest bit. But you don't, and it's indicated in the way you bite your bottom lip and arch your back at the way his tongue wraps around your hardened bud. He does the same on the other breast before peppering kisses down your stomach and abdomen.

"Yoongi." You slightly gasp, shy at how unusually close he is to your lady friend.

"What's wrong? Want me to stop?" His thumbs gently caressed your thighs as his head hovered over your pelvis. You shake your head and nervously swallow before speaking once more.

"I-I'm just scared, what if you don't like—"

"Shh." He shushes you. "You're everything to me, you know that. You don't have to change just so I could enjoy you in bed. I'll take good care of you, bub. I promise."

"O-okay." He nods, placing a kiss over your clothed clit before pulling them down to get lost within your sheets. He swipes a finger down your folds, causing your breathing to hitch slightly. You watch as he slowly inserts the same digit inside of you, biting onto his bottom lip watching your facial expressions turn from uncertainty to straight pleasure. "Another." You moan.

"You sure?"

"Yes, please." He inserts another digit, curling his fingers upward as he starts to finger fuck you at a steady pace.

"Shit, you're so wet Y/N." He says lowly before lowering his mouth onto you to get a taste and tease your clit. You gasp at the overwhelming sensation, feeling the pleasure bubbling in your core and you had no idea how to deal with it. He picks up his pace while tonguing your clit and sucking at the right pressure until suddenly, you short circuit and tremble under his grip. You purse your lips together to prevent yourself from moaning too loud with your parents at the other end of the hall [jesus fucking christ], knuckles turning white as you grip the sheets tightly.

Your first orgasm came and washed over you quick.

"Did you just—" He removes his digits from inside of you, drooling at your cum accumulating all over his fingers.

"Holy fuck." You whisper as you regulate your breathing, twitching when Yoongi places a quick kiss on your pussy before coming back up to you.

"How was that?"

"So good. Wanna feel you." You whine, tugging him down towards you.

"I got you, bubby." He says, kissing your jaw, cheek, nose and lips. He reaches over into his pants on the floor, grabbing a condom out of his pocket. You furrow your brow and chuckle, confused if this was something he always did.

"You just carry that around?"

"The guys and I split on a box and carried one each for tonight. Just in case."

"Total fucking assholes." He chuckles.

"Better safe than not, right?" He rips it open with his teeth, spitting the wrapper out onto the floor before rolling it down his cock. He was perfectly thick and long, and it made you a nervous wreck all over again thinking about how this could feel. "Ready? I'll go slow." You nod. You immediately felt immense pressure when you felt Yoongi dip his body and slowly enter you. You winced, Yoongi immediately pausing until you tapped his arm to continue. And so he does, and you continue to breathe through it until he bottoms out and lets out a soft groan against your neck. "Fuck, you're so tight bub. God, you're gonna make me cum quick." He slowly pumps in and out, steadying his pace when he feels you buck your hips up to go along with his motions.

The pleasure skyrocketed; You shut your eyes, letting yourself be in this moment. Feel this moment.

He picks it up a little faster, careful not to bang your headboard against the wall. His forehead is pressed against yours, watching as you let out soft whimpers against his lips.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Yoongi-Yoongi—" You whispered. "You're gonna make me—" It was becoming overwhelming, your clit rubbing against him as he steadied his pace and continued to fuck into you. He nods, pressing a kiss against your forehead.

"Yeah, that's it. Let go. It's okay." And that was enough for you to reach your second orgasm tonight. Quick, but fuck. Yoongi made you feel so good, and you wouldn't want it any other way. You shut your eyes as you hurdled over the edge, mouth open with silent, inaudible moans being released. "So fucking pretty." Yoongi says as he feels himself reaching his high with the way your walls pulsated against his cock.

God. So, so good.

He holds onto the headboard and quickly fucks into you until he's spilling his seed in the condom, muffled moans being released against the crook of your neck. It takes a moment before Yoongi raises his head, your hands running through his black hair while he presses a tender kiss against your lips. He slowly removes himself, wrapping the condom in a tissue before tossing it into your trash can. He plops next to you and welcomes you into his arms, caressing you to soothe you from your first time.

"You okay?"

"More than okay." You say, the both of you trying to savor the moment before trying to navigate where to go from here.

What now?

Third Quarter: College, Junior Year (Present)

You bent down, hands resting against your knees as you tried to catch your breath during the timeout Coach Chu had called with 5.2 seconds literally left on the clock. He laid out the play he wanted you and the team to pull off in order to gain the win over Berkeley.

It had to be executed perfectly. No flaws.

Coach Chu had been riding your ass since you were a freshman. But, over the years, you've learned how to work through his tough love and turn it into positives, bettering yourself on and off the floor. It paid off, and he saw the fire in you, finally moving you up to starting point guard right before the season ended. Some team members hated it at first, but eventually, grew to work with it as well.

The plan was to have you come down into the paint and lay up the ball or take a shot at the very last second to avoid Berkeley from getting another chance at scoring. Sometimes you hated the pressure, but you've also learned that a big part of playing ball was thriving under pressure.

Your team closes up the huddle before you and your teammates are heading back out onto the floor to try and get this win. You shake off the nerves, bouncing the ball out of bounds until you check it in with your teammate. After that— it was like a blur. Shit happened so quick, you couldn't even process it. You passed the ball and dashed over to the other side of the court while your teammate put up a screen. You rose your hand as you ran into the paint, adrenaline rushing through your veins as you awkwardly lay up the ball in the position you were in and stumble onto the ground from losing your footing. You turn your head as the buzzer went off, noticing that the ball had bounced off the rim.

You missed a fucking lay up.

How could you miss a fucking lay up?

"Fuck!" You cry as you sit up and smack the floor.

"Aye, it's all good girl! Ain't a big deal! You win some, you lose some! We still got a ways to go!" Your teammate [roommate, and closest college friend] Clarice said as she helped you up. She was right, but every loss to you was a big loss no matter what. Coach was for sure gonna drill you about this too, and you were already mentally preparing.

"Thanks." You mumble. You look out at the disappointed crowd slowly dispersing, wishing you could still catch a familiar face in the crowd.

But, Yoongi hadn't been to your game in years. So you thought. You never caught him if he ever stepped foot into your game.

Your head hung low as the familiar feeling of pain and loneliness came rushing back while you headed to the locker room. Too bad you didn't see him hiding out on the side of the bleachers with Lucas.

"Y/N, a word." Coach Chu says, leading you into his office.

Fuck, here we go.

You shut the door behind you and stand awkwardly in front of his desk, fiddling with your fingers.

"Look, I just want to say that you put on hell of a show tonight, win or lose. We still have plenty of games left, plenty of opportunities to lock in play-offs. Alright? Don't be upset."

"Thanks Coach." You give him a tiny smile.

"Are you doing okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I think so."

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing coach, just been a hectic couple of weeks." In which, it was no lie. You crammed for test after test, project after project. You barely had any time to breathe this year.

"Well, my door is always open if you need to chat." You nod. "I'll see you at practice. Enjoy your night."

"Thanks again." You say as you exit his office and get yourself showered and into comfier clothes.

Meanwhile, Yoongi heads back to his dorm room alongside Lucas, hands dug deep into his pockets while his head hung low.

"You ever gonna talk to her?"

"I don't know." He sighs. "Pretty sure I fucked up any chance of that."

"Look, dude. You haven't really been the same since you and Y/N fell out." Yoongi stays silent as they slowly climb the steps up to their room. "Why are you just gonna leave it like this? It's been so long already. Doesn't it bother you?"

"Positive she doesn't want me around." Lucas shakes his head.

"You haven't even tried. You just gave up and that shit is cold, to be honest. I know Y/N always held it down for you, I would have expected you to do the same." The words cut through Yoongi so deep, he doesn't even know how to respond and leaves it at that.

As you heavily dragged your body back to the dorms and took your sweet ol' time, your mind began to wander back to Yoongi as well. After he had taken your virginity that night, things took a turn for the worst.

He treated you differently, created this distance that allowed you to grow farther and farther apart from each other until he was no longer in your grasp and vice versa.

You went from Yoongi being a part of your every day to nothing. And fuck, did it hurt you. You cried and cried, until you were so tired of crying. You had to pick yourself up and keep it moving no matter what. Life waits for nobody.

You reminisce on those days of debating over who could really be considered the greatest. Although, you did pay your respects to the bigs, the greats— Kobe, Magic, MJ, Lebron— you paid respect where it was rightfully due. However, Derrick Rose at his prime? Rajon Rondo? Chris Paul?

Hell, even Baron Davis, Monte Ellis. Rookie Steph Curry? Shiiit. They were it for you, and Yoongi used to dog your ass on how unrealistic you were being.

That was all gone.

He must be having a ball watching Steph climb up those charts now, though. You wonder what he would say to you.

The days of going to basketball games, to each other's basketball games, to ordering hella pizza and creating chaos in either house over the dunk contest during the NBA All Star Week or yelling all around the living room and jumping on couches during the NBA playoff season and championship games— All gone.

If you knew this would drastically change you and Yoongi, you would have never let that night happen. You continued to put on your brave face, your thick, tough skin even though deep down, it took everything in you to suppress the hurt, betrayal and confusion. Even after all these years.

He meant everything to you. Did you not to him? You could never understand until this day. How could he dispose of you so, so quickly?

You see him on campus and quickly break any eye contact, or run the opposite way. You were tired of doing this even though you felt like you needed closure. Some explanation. You deserved it. But you weren't gonna initiate that. Even if Yoongi did, you don't even know if things could ever go back to the way it was. He promised he would never hurt you, but he has. He still is hurting you. The wounds— it cut deep. Deeper than he could ever imagine.

"Hello?" You smile, hearing your dad on the other line.

"Hey dad."

"Hey baby! How was your game? I'm sorry I couldn't catch it tonight, work kept me behind." You sigh.

"Eh, it's probably good you didn't. Didn't turn out so well." He picks up on how your voice cracks ever so slightly, enough to indicate that you were trying your hardest not to break down about your performance. "I missed the winning shot."

"Oh sweetheart, you'll get 'em next time. You always do. You still have a couple of games left don't you?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't change the fact that I played shitty as hell tonight."

"There's always room for improvement, only way to go is up from here right?" He says softly, making you smile. "You'll get 'em next time, I have no doubt. You always know how to better yourself even when I think you've already reached your highest potential."

"Thanks Dad. You always were my number one fan."

"I still am." He chuckles. "How's everything else? School?"

"Fine." He always has to stop himself from asking about Yoongi, even to ask if there's been the slightest change to your relationship.

"You sure?"

"Course." You lie.

"Alright, well you know me and your mom are here for you if you need anything."

"I know."

"I'll let you go and get some rest, alright? Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Mmm, I'll try." You chuckle. "I love you."

"Love you too. And hey, baby?"

"Yeah?"

"Always remember that you deserve everything good in this world. If someone can't handle you at your worse, they sure as hell don't deserve you at your best."

"Thank you." You smile as if your dad can see you through the phone before hanging up and unlocking your dorm door.

"Sigma Nu party going on tonight, wanna come and slide through?" Clarice asks as she watches you toss your duffle aside.

"I'm tired, not in the mood."

"So aren't I, but I think we both need it. Come on girl, just for a little." You sigh. Clarice had also been there by your side since you both were freshmen recruits. One day, she came into the room and found you a crying mess, causing her to wrap her arms around you and craddle you until you calmed down. You had spilled the beans about Min Yoongi, especially when he quickly became the talk of the campus as a ladies man and one of the best freshmen recruits Stanford has ever seen. You hated it, but a part of you still found yourself happy that he was getting the recognition he deserved as a ball player.

He wasn't the tallest, or the biggest, but boy had heart and played every game like it was his last. You had been his number one fan, and even though you hated him, that fact would never change.

Anyways, without Clarice, you weren't sure where you'd be. Definitely not here because you'd be too busy running away from your past and all the issues that came with it.

Yeah, yeah. Go ahead and say it. You would be stupid enough to not go to your first choice just because of a stupid boy.

"Fine, fine. I'm leaving as soon as someone wants to start acting up and getting all crazy though."

"Deal." She chuckles. You've learned how to dress up a little more— and by a little we mean baggy sweats, a crop tight fitting tee and chapstick. No way in hell you'd get dolled up for a party. Out of the years you've already been here, you probably went to two parties. One being the party Coach Chu threw at his house for a record-breaking season. The other was a legit party that you stepped foot in for all of 2 seconds before you figured it was time to head home, especially after seeing Yoongi hugged up with some chick and disgustingly tonguing her down while groping her ass.

Shit, you were never gonna get used to it.

The frat house is fucking packed and wreaks of weed even down the corner. You and Clarice push your way through, greeting people who were acknowledging your presence and waving at your other teammates that were also present.

"More basketball babes have arrived, let's go!" One of the frat guys cheers as you and Clarice make your way to the kitchen where all the alcohol is laid out.

"One shot?" She asks as she already has her hand wrapped around the Svedka handle.

"One and done." You tell her. You shouldn't have let her pour the shot though because now, you're stuck with nasty ass vodka near the halfway mark of the cup. "Clarice, what the fuck is this?"

"It's called savoring our one."

"You're fucked up." You joked as you tap your cup against hers and take the shot in three chugs. "Really fucked up." You wince.

"Come, lets go see what the other girls are up to and hang out for a bit." You follow her lead to the corner of the living room, chatting it up with your team before dancing around in the little corner you all occupied— keeping as far away as possible from sloppy and messy dudes.

You turned to eye the crowd at some point, catching Yoongi coming down the stairs, a female following from behind holding his hand. Then, they disappear to the outside of the house. You swallow the lump in your throat, the room feeling hotter than it already was.

Why he still had this affect on you, you had no idea.

Clarice and your teammates are too busy cracking jokes that they don't realize you've slipped away to get some air. You're finding that the crowd has come bigger in the short amount of time you've been here and navigating through it has become difficult. You're having to bob, weave and shove your way out, letting out a sigh the closer you get to the front of the house. You're also really glad you've been able to steer clear from—

"Shit, my bad." You unintentionally bump into someone making your way to the front from the side of the house due to you keeping your head low.

"Y/N?" You whip your head around to see Yoongi raising a brow, dropping his arm from the same chick's shoulders.

"Hi." You give him a fake, tight-lipped smile and rush your way to the front of the house. Thank god you finally make it because you were starting to feel claustrophobic, even being outside. However, you weren't prepared for Yoongi to come after you and grab your wrist the way he did.

"Wait, I didn't expect you to be here." Out of defense, you quickly snatch your wrist away from his grip and furrow your brows at him.

"Yeah, and now I'm leaving."

"Why, hang out for a bit—"

"And what, Yoongi? Watch you be the life of the party? Watch you walk around all fine and dandy like shit never happened between us?" You feel the tears welling up on your bottom lids, but you promised yourself you would never cry over him again. You refuse to. He had already taken up so much of you that you refuse to give him any more.

"Is that what you really think?" He says, the hurt apparent in his expression. To be frank, no. Yoongi really, really never meant to hurt you. And just like he had mentioned before, he would never forgive himself if he ever hurt you. He hasn't forgiven himself. He hasn't forgiven himself for how he let you slip out of his grasp when it was his own fault for pushing aside his feelings for you. He thought the world of you, the only woman who kept it real with him and stuck by him through the highest of highs, lowest of lows. There was no one as special as you, no one who could ever be as special as you, no matter how many times he tried to sink his dick into other females.

No one was real like you.

But, he was also conflicted because of that. He felt like he couldn't give you the love you rightfully deserved, he didn't think he could love you properly. He had so much to learn and he didn't wanna hurt you in the process. It sounds so fucking stupid [because it is] that he thought distancing himself was better than just being honest. He was a dumbass high schooler, he didn't know any better. But, he never meant to make you feel special for one night, then run from it. You were always special to him. You had always been. You always will be. And these past years hurt like a bitch, but he coudn't find the words to explain. Eventually, he just believed he would do less damage if you both remained distant this way.

Although, he longed for you. He really needed you just as you needed him. He always has, always will.

So when the two of you bump into each other tonight, he felt like maybe, it was a sign. Maybe it was time to stop being childish.

God, he missed your face.

God, he was a fucking asshole.

"No, I'm not doing this shit." You shake your head. "Just— continue to stay away from me, okay? I'm better off without you." The words sting you, but it doesn't sting you as much as it stings Yoongi. You glare at him once more before you turn on your heel and begin walking down the street to head back to your dorm.

"Y/N! Wait up!" Clarice calls for you, eyeing Yoongi as she passes him to catch up with you down the street. "Hey, hey. You okay?" She swings her arm around you when she catches you silently crying to yourself. "What did he do, Y/N?"

"He fucking exists, that's what." You groan. "Ugh, fuck! I'm not supposed to be crying over his dumbass, I'm better than this Clarice— Why the fuck am I crying over it?" You break down, crouching down to your knees, causing Clarice to hover over you and pull you into a hug.

"Maybe you just need to let it out and stop forcing yourself to not feel anything."

"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him." You bawled into your arms. "I hate him so much." She caressed your back. "But he still finds a way to mean so much to me."

"I think it's time for you two to talk."

"I can't. It's just better this way."

"Are you sure? Because look at you, Y/N. You're a mess, and this hasn't even been the first time you broke down about him. As much as you want to believe that you're fine without him, you're not. He was your bestfriend and I think you need him more than you even know yourself."

"He's doing fine without me."

"You don't know that, baby. Dudes are annoying as fuck because they can literally go on about their day and mask that shit well. If he's ready, let him explain. Hear him out. You both may be misunderstanding the entire situation." It takes you a good minute before you can finally gather yourself and make it back to your dorm room with Clarice.

She was right.

But you were so angry more than anything. You were angry and you weren't sure how you could get past it.

He left your side.

And so the next day, you go about your day in class, staying quieter than usual during practice. For the most part, Coach Chu was always on your ass because of how vocal you were and how much you caught an attitude when things didn’t go the way you'd like it to. So, to see you this quiet, almost sullen even, concerns him. But, he already pressed you once and he wasn't gonna do it again to avoid irritating you any further.

You run the usual conditioning drills, practicing play by play before a final scrimmage game for the night. You push yourself hard like you always do, almost coming out of practice dry heaving from how tired you are. It was your bad habit though, you wouldn't quit until you got it right. Until you felt right. And unfortunately, it's another one of those nights where you feel unsatisfied with your performance. So, you take it upon yourself to continue practicing in the empty gym that was set to close within the next hour. You're tired out of your mind, and you know this is probably a bad idea, but you can't shake off the feeling of dissatisfaction. To you, that was the next worst thing. Right behind Yoongi.

You begin to work on your three pointers, lay ups and shots out of range before you start to play a scrimmage game with yourself.

"I'll play you." You suddenly hear, the sweat beads dripping down your forehead at this point. You watch Yoongi as he drops his water bottle off at the side of the court before walking over to you.

"Go away."

"Afraid you'll lose?"

"No, I just don't wanna play your ass." You shot up the ball, only for it to bounce off the backboard and land in Yoongi's hand.

"Ball up. Let's play till 10."

"Why the hell do you wanna play me, Yoongi? Don't you have a random chick to bone?"

"I'm clearly standing right in front of you aren't I? Quit fucking talking and play." He aggressively passes you the ball to check it in, you following suit, making the ball damn near bounce off of his chest with how hard you pass it back. He knew exactly how to rile you up.

You get into the zone quickly, trying to find some kind of redemption for the way you had been feeling lately. Redemption, validation, way to take the edge off— anything, really. It was only until the first person scored to 10, but Yoongi was putting up one hell of a fight, jet black hair parted down the middle and matted to his forehead from the sweat building up. You take the lead, sitting at 8 while Yoongi sat at a sad 6 points.

"Ball." You call out as you scored a layup, ramming yourself against the padded wall with the force you had put up.

"That's 10."

"Ball, Yoongi." You huffed and puffed.

"Stop, don't overwork yourself. You just got—"

"Suddenly you care? Stop being a pussy and pass me the goddamn ball." He furrows his brows as he passes you the ball, crouching down to meet you at eye level to try and guard you. You run towards the right of the court, pulling a pump fake before you pivot to get away from Yoongi's guard. You pivot hard and drive it up to the basket, only to fall on the wrong footing and twist your ankle on the way down. "Ouch, fuck!"

"Shit, Y/N!" Yoongi comes to your side, hand supporting your back as the other is on your ankle.

"I'm fine, leave me—"

"Stop being so fucking stubborn and let me help you." He says angrily. You don't say anything else while you fix your position on the floor. "Can you wiggle it at least?"

"Y-yeah." You wince as you wiggle your foot and roll it around a couple of times. Phew, at least this shit wasn't gone for good. But Coach Chu still wouldn't be happy to hear you sprained your ankle releasing your anger on Yoongi during a dumb game. Yoongi helps you stand, arm around your waist as he throws your arm around his neck and holds you steady by the wrist.

"Try walking on it."

"I can, but it hurts a little." Yoongi sighs.

"You just sprained it. Let's go get you some ice or something at the nursing center before going back to your dorm." You silently nod as you hang onto Yoongi for extra support, careful not to make the situation any worse than it already is. He has you sit on the chair within the nursing center, the nurse coming over to wrap your ankle nicely before giving you crutches and some instant hot compress to pop onto it. She orders for security to drive you two over to the dorm building in their go-cart so that you wouldn't have to do much walking on your foot while you focused on healing.

Yoongi doesn't leave your side, even after you've walked into your dark, empty dorm room, not really knowing where Clarice is at right now [possibly library]. He shuts your door and sits you on the edge of your bed, setting your crutches near your bed side and your instant hot compress.

"You need anything else?" Your head hangs low as you slightly chuckle and shake your head.

"Why are you doing this?" You ask him lowly before looking back up at him, tears clouding your vision. "Hm? Why, Yoongi?"

"You're hurt, why wouldn't I—"

"Hmm." You hum. "I'm hurt? So where the fuck were you after prom night? When I was hurt then, where the fuck have you been?" You began to cry.

"Y/N." His tongue swipes over his lips before he sighs. "I'm sorry." He says, close to a whisper.

"Are you? Because I don't think you really understand how bad you hurt me." You aggressively wipe away your tears while continuing to look at him, his body language soft and full of regret. "You didn't care about me."

"How could you say that? I cared—" He sighs as his head drops for a second. "I care about you more than you know."

"If you did then why the fuck was it so easy for you to drop me the way you did?!" You yelled. "You just don't do that to the people you care about, especially if it’s your bestfriend."

"Look, you're right. I have no excuse for the way I acted, and if I could turn back time to re-do it, I would. But I can't, and the only thing I can do is apologize and do my best to make it up to you." His bottom lip trembles as he steps closer to you, a small frown forming at the corners of his mouth.

"Yoongi." You cried. "I did everything for you, I stuck by you through everything, even during the times you didn't deserve that shit from me. But I stayed! I stood by you because you meant everything to me and god—" You groaned. "I needed you. I needed you and you weren't there! I fucking hate you for doing this shit to me but part of me will always have love for you no matter how fucked up the situation is. I will always drop everything for you. I will always care about you, and it's so unfair." It broke Yoongi's heart and he didn't know what to say, but he wraps his arms around you anyway, keeping you in a tight hug against his chest. He's surprised that you let him, even more surprised at how he feels your body soften under his touch.

"Fuck, I'm so, so sorry bub." He says lowly as he presses a kiss on top of your head. "I'm so sorry."

"Please don't ever go again." You cry against his chest.

"No, I'm not. I'm gonna be right here." He says hugging you tighter. "You're the only one who's ever understood me, who's ever kept it real with me. I don't deserve you, but I know damn sure I'll work hard to make up for letting you go in the first place." He places another kiss on top of your head. "I'm right here. Not going anywhere. I'm so sorry."

- - -

"THE STANFORD BOYS TAKE THE CHAMPIONSHIP!" The commentator screams into his mic, Yoongi running a lap around the court before he's cheering loudly with his teammates and joining the group hug. You run down the bleachers, dashing straight into Yoongi's arms while he swings you around.

"That's what I'm fucking talking about!" You squeal and giggle as Yoongi places you back down and plants multiple kisses around your face, hands resting on the small of your back.

"Let's get out of here." He whispers in your ear.

"I'll wait at your car, bighead." You wink, causing him to smile that gummy smile of his that you adore more than life itself.

There's obviously a huge party going on tonight to celebrate this huge achievement, but Yoongi says he doesn't wanna join for once. He's happy, yeah. But the way he wants to celebrate is in peace. After so long, he feels like he can finally say he's content with where his life is at and where it's going. He drives over to the nearest beach, backing into a space so the both of you could sit in the back and try catching all the shooting stars up above. Yoongi leans against the side of the trunk, allowing you to lay your head on his lap while you curled up beside him listening to the waves slowly crash against the sand.

"Saw one." He says, looking up at the sky.

"You're a punk, no you didn't."

"What?" He laughs. "How are you about to say that? I caught it with my own two eyes."

"Oop! I saw one!"

"Now that's a lie. I was looking up too."

"Shut up." You laugh, causing Yoongi to tickle you along the sides before he stops and plants a kiss on your lips. It's silent for a minute while the two of you take in the night view— The sky and ocean coming together as one, forming a view that seemed endless.

"Hey."

"Hm?" You hum as Yoongi's fingers gently brush through your hair.

"You know I love you right?"

"Ew with the sappy shit, Min Yoongi." He laughs.

"Seriously."

"I know." You smile up at him. "I love you too."

"Come here." He says softly, tugging you upwards. You sit up, allowing Yoongi to press his lips against yours. He pulls you in by your shirt, having you straddle his lap while he grips onto your hips and immediately grinds against you. You let out a small moan feeling how quickly he hardened, his cock hitting you in the right places as you continue to grind on him. "Fuck, wanna feel you babygirl."

"Here?"

"Yeah." He chuckles and bites onto his bottom lip.

"What, all of a sudden you're scared?"

"Fuck off." You fire back, releasing his hardened member from its confines as you stroke him gently. He tilts his head back in pleasure before tugging your shorts and panties to the side, enough for him to cop a feel of how wet you are.

"Baby's all wet."

"What're you gonna do about it?" You whisper against his lips, biting onto his bottom lip and pulling back slightly. He hisses at the sensation before he moves your hand from his cock and takes control. He pushes you upward, positioning you enough to line up with your entrance.

"Take this shit off."

"Yoongi, we're in public."

"So, you're all talk and no play."

"I hate you."

"Nobody's here." He groans. "Just take off your shorts, pleeease." He begs as he slowly strokes himself. You toss aside your shorts, Yoongi immediately hooking his finger at the bottom of your panties and tugging it aside in order to push himself into you. He does enough before he lets you do the rest of the work and sink down on his length, a gasp leaving your throat as you take all of him in. He grips your hips tightly, setting the pace as he groans into your neck, your fingers tangled in his hair resting at the nape of his neck.

"Shit, babe." You moan as you tilt your head back.

"Fuck, you always ride me so well." He presses light kisses against your neck before he's nipping at the surface.

"Godddd why do you feel so good?" You whimper.

"You like how I feel inside of you?" You nod. "Yeah? Like how my cock fills you up?"

"Never gonna get tired of it." You moan, Yoongi making you pick up the pace aggressively. Besides the waves crashing, the lewd noises of skin slapping against skin fills the car, along with your soft moans and Yoongi's groans. Your clit is constantly rubbing against him, causing the pleasure to build so quickly it becomes overwhelming. You try to hold off as much as you can but—

"My pretty baby. All I fucking need." He almost growls, the words enough to send you over the edge. You let out a loud moan, not even caring for the houses nearby as your orgasm hits hard and ripples throughout your body, sending aftershocks. Yoongi continues to have you ride him fast and hard, the overwhelming sensation causing a hint of pain to mix with more pleasure until you feel him feel you up. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He groans as his nails dig into your skin, giving two good thrusts upwards into you to help ride out his high. You both sit in the position for a minute, trying to come back down from your highs. Yoongi gives you a delicate peck on the lips, smiling into the kiss before he pulls away. "Swear you're all I need."

"See, I don't know if I could say the same." He smacks your ass as you hike up and off of him to put on your shorts.

"Take it back."

"I'm kidding." You blush.

"My ride or die. Are you with me?"

"Always have been. Are you?"

"You know I am."

"Good. You know it takes two." He smiles before pulling you into another hug and pressing a kiss against your temple.

857 notes · View notes

dreamifics · 4 years ago

Text

Love and Monsters

Steve Harrington x Reader!Henderson

Oneshot

Y/N Henderson's life was not like any other normal teenager's life, on a very young age her only friends was her brother, Dustin and his friends.. She was not popular in highschool, but she was not a nobody neither.. Y/N was just invisible, lost in the sea of students.. She was almost through highschool though, one day her life was turned upside down, literally and figuratively.. It's been months since the 'thing' happend, but she was still shaken up.

Y/N was laying in bed, My Generation blasting from her stereo.. She was home alone, her mother was out with some friends, her brother was hanging out with 'King Steve'.. Ever since Steve helped them about Dart, she grew closer to Steve but their short lived friendship ended when Dustin left for camp and Steve worked on their family business while she was stuck preparing herself for college.. Y/N misses Steve, his unfunny jokes and oh god--his laugh..

A loud knock startled her, she shot up from her bed, memories of what happend was flashing back to her.. Despite what she tells her friend, she was not okay.. She almost died twice and that opened up trauma's and issues within herself..

Another loud knock startled her, Y/N shakes her head and just ran to the door.. Reaching their front door, her icy hands made contact with the cold steel knob..

It revealed a disheveled Dustin and Steve, she could tell that there were excitement dripping all over them.. Steve was still wearing his sailor work uniform, he looked cute to Y/N but she once threw that thought in the back of her mind..

"What's up?" She questioned the two.

Dustin just smiled and pushed pass her, while Steve was reluctant to go in.. Steve avoided Y/N for almost the whole summer because of the daunting realization that he was catching feelings for her and that scared him.. Y/N was the kind of girl that likes to watch nerdy movies, spend hours playing games with a bunch of kids and save the world two times.. However, Steve was scared, he was still stuck in the unjustified rules of highschool and popularity. . He still wanted to be 'King Steve', but he also wanted to be Y/N's..

"Nice outfit, sailor boy.." Y/N winked and laughs at Steve, he just shakes his head and went inside their house..

Steve made his way to Dustin's room with Y/N right behind him, but before reaching Dustin's room, he passed Y/N's room.. He unconsciously stopped as he looks around, observing every corner of her room.

There were posters plastered all over her walls, books were all around her room in her bed, shelves and even floors.. In the other side she had a small collection of music that made Steve smile.. Because they had the exact same taste, she is the perfect girl.

"If you want to go in, you're free to wander around my room, anytime.."

Steve turned around to face Y/N, he misses her.. How Y/N sarcastic remarks leave her sweet lips or how she rolls her eyes whenever she see something stupid.

"I might just take you up on that.."

"Hm-mm.. You didn't even talk to me when Dustin left, you broke my heart, Steviee.." She jokes, but it sounded a little bitter.

Y/N did get hurt, Steve stopped talking to her when Dustin left, it seems like Steve didn't really like her as much as she thinks he did. Y/N was bored and got stuck just studying and sometimes hanging out with the party.. It was fun but she was looking forward to hanging out with Steve.

"I'm sorry about that, I didn't want to see my old friends hanging out with someone like yo---" Steve stopped his sentence, he didn't mean that.. His mind was a mess, he said those things because he didn't want Y/N finding out his stupid feelings

"Right..Yeah, I get it.."

"Y/N that's not what I me--"

"Cause King Steve shouldn't be hanging out with people like me?Gotcha.."

Steve didn't even had the time to reply, he was met with Y/N's slamming door.. He didn't mean that.. Steve loved hanging out with Y/N, he want to give her something special.. Steve wanted something more from Y/N.. He knew exactly what and he didn't need a reason why but Steve wanted to give Y/N something more..

Y/N was hurt, she didn't know why but Steve words brought devastation to her.. She felt disappointed and upset, Y/N was expecting something special.. She didn't know what or why but she was expecting something more from Steve.

Y/N was dropping off Dustin to the mall where Steve was working, her lips were in a unsual frown.. Y/N wasn't usally like this, she was having a bad week, Steve just hurt her feelings and she was taking it much harder, it was very unsual.. The two Henderson was making their way to the Scoops Ahoy shop, Dustin was rambling about a message he picked up while contacting his girlfriend.

"Are you listening?" Her brother asked as they reach the store.

"Yepp, you should go in now.."

"Y/N, this could be a good thing!"

"I know..If you need my help, you can find me in the food court.."

"Y/N.."

"Yeah, Dus?"

"Are you okay?"

Y/N's mind went blank, she hated lying to her brother but she didn't want to worry anyone. She laughs and messed Dustin's hair.

"Of course.. Now go, you know where to find me.." With that she left..

Y/N was not okay, the last time she slept was a month ago.. Nightmares kept crawling back to her, she was growing more paranoid by the day.. She was not okay, but she couldn't tell anyone that.. Everyone else is okay, even Wil who had it more rough than her. And to top that up, she was broken hearted by Steve's rejection of their friendship.. Y/N just massaged the bridge of her nose, when will she be fine?

Dustin and Steve was in the corner of the mall with binoculars in their eyes, Steve saw Y/N.. Sitting alone in the corner, a walkman in her ears and a book in hand.. Y/N was mouthing the word as her eyes read every word on that book and Steve couldn't help but feel all giddy and guilty inside.

"You see anything?" Dustin snapped Steve back to their current task.

"Uh, I guess I don't totally know what I'm looking for.'' Steve answered honestly, Y/N distracted him again.

"Evil Russians."

"Yeah, exactly. I don't know what an evil Russian looks like."

"All blond, not smiling."

"Mm-hmm?" Steve's eyes didn't looked for any Russians, his eyes drifted to Y/N spot but she was gone.. Where did she go? He couldn't help but worry, was she talking to someone else?

"Also, look for earpieces, camo, duffel bags, that sort of thing." Dustin added.

"Right, okay, duffel bags." Steve darts his eyes away from Y/N seat but it only fell on a girl he asked out earlier.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." Steve mutters.

"What?" Dustin questioned.

"Anna Jacobi's talking with that meathead Mark Lewinsky."

"If you're not gonna focus, just gimme the binoculars."

Dustin got annoyed by his distracted partner, he should have brought his sister along.. But he knew that Y/N was not okay, she seemed distant and lost in her own mind.. Always spacing out and Dustin can hear her cries from his room, it killed him to see her loving and hyper sister transform into a walking corpse.

"Aw, Jesus Christ, whatever happened to standards?"

"I mean, Lewinsky never even came off the bench." Steve rambled on, annoying Dustin.

"Dude, you are the worst spy in history, you know that?"

The two fought for the binoculars, but they just looked stupid.. Dustin initially gave up and gave the binoculars to Steve.

"I don't get why you're looking at girls. You have the perfect one in front of you."

"Seriously, if you say Robin again..." Steve closes his eyes waiting for Robin's name to come up but it never did.

"No, Y/N.. My sister.."

Steve's heart clenched at the mention of her name, he wants Y/N too.. What can he do? Y/N hates his ass now, he was a jerk and he didn't deserve Y/N.

"No, man, she's not my type." Steve answered while he diverts his eyes away from Dustin.

"I saw you staring at her closed door for about 5 minutes."

Steve eyes grew wide at the realization that Dustin was watching the whole time.. Dustin just shakes his head, if he was asked he'd say that her sister felt the same way..

"She's not even... in the ballpark of what my type is, all right?"

"What's your type again? Not awesome?"

"Thank you."

"Hm."

"For you information, your sister is too sarcastic, she's too nerdy for me.."

"Also, she's too...boyish.."

Beautiful, that's what he wanted to say..

"Dude, that's my sister you're talking about, and besides she's not like that.. She's nerdy but so what? Y/N's also not boyish, she's just secured with her masculinity.."

Dustin's word echoed throughout Steve's system, he already knew that.. But somehow hearing it from another person's perspective made him like you more.

"Y/N's just not my type.." He lied..

Y/N was everything he ever wanted in a girl.

"Thanks for the clarification, Harrington." A voice surprised the two.

Y/N was standing behind them, her arms crossed.. Steve's eyes widen in surprise, did she hear everything? He didn't mean that, what did he mean?

"I didn't mean t--"

"Dustin, if you told me you'll stalk people in malls, I should've brought you to a psychiatrist.." Y/N ignored Steve and just focused on her brother.. Y/N would be lying if she haven't felt more hurt by the words Steve dropped.. She had been listening since the talk about girls came up, Y/N spotted the two doing eccentric things and she decided to eavesdrop.

"No, it's called spying.." Dustin rolled his eyes at her sister remarks while Steve was still frozen..

"What's the difference?" Y/N asked, her eyes still focused on he brother..

"It's just different, okay? Were looking for the--" Dustin stopped and looks around to see if anybody was near..

"Russians?" Y/N continued in a loud tone.

"Shh!" Both Steve and her brother shushed her. Y/N was surpised, she glares at the two and moved closer to them.

"Fine, can I tag along? I'm bored and it'll be nice to be a national hero."

The two looked at each other, Steve was nervous.. Y/N obviously didn't want him around, but this could be a chance for him to apologize to Y/N.

"Sure, you can help us look for russians with dufflebags and camo." Dustin pulled her sister to his side.

"That's kinda racis--"

"No, it's not!" Dustin cuts her sister off making Y/N laugh..

"Whatever you say Dus.."

And that's how she ended up inside a theater with two kids and two drugged teenagere.. Y/N's breathing was heavy, they were captured by Russians just moments ago.. Adrenaline was pumping through her veins, she thought this town was finally normal again, but turns out she was wrong.. Very very wrong..

They needed to get out of this hellish mall, Y/N need to find out if there's still russians lurking out, looking for them.

"The two of you need to stay here and take care of them." Y/N instructs to her brother, she pointed at a floopy Steve and Robin.

"Wait--Where are you going?!" Dustin stopped her by pulling her arm.

"I'm going to see if those fuckers are still looking for us.."

"No, we'll come with you.."

"Dustin, you need to stay here and keep a low profile.."

"Y/N don't be a hero.."

"Hey, Dipshit!I'm not trying to be a hero, what I'm doing is protecting you guys because our two friends are drugged and beaten while we brought a little kid into our mess!And I will do everything to keep you all safe, even if that means I get hurt or killed!"

Dustin knew that there's no talking Y/N out of this, her sister was right.. Taking a deep breath, he just nods and hugs her sister..

"Just please, stay safe.." Dustin was in the verge of tears but Y/N held him tight in her arms.. Dustin pulled back, Y/N gave her brother a comforting smile, she rubbed his cheeks and pat his head.

"I'll be okay, I'm a Henderson for god's sake.."

Dustin laughs as tears stroll in his face, she kissed his forehead and walked away, trying not to attract attention.. Taking a deep breath she left the theater, she'll do whatever it takes to keep her brother and her friends.. Y/N's mind flew to Steve, she was pissed off but she was not sure anymore.. The way he saved them and got beat up for them, she couldn't find a reason to be mad at him, all she can think about is his childlish look and how hot he is in his sailor uniform. Y/N just shakes those thoughts away and tried to focus on her task..

Russians..

Steve and Robin were throwing up in a seperate cubicles, they were getting the drugs out of their system.. Retching and puking can be heard all through out the theater bathroom, Steve groans and flushes the toilet.

"The ceiling stopped spinning for me. Is it still spinning for you?" Robin's voice can be heard from the other cubicle.

"Holy shit. No. You think we puked it all up?" Steve rested his back to the mini wall inside the cubicle..

"Maybe. Ask me something.."

"Interrogate me." Robin said in a mocking russian accent.

"Okay. Interrogate you. Sure. Um... When was the last time you, uh, peed your pants?"

"Today."

"What?"

"When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw."

"Oh... All right, my turn."

"Okay. Hit me."

"Have you... ever been in love?"

"Yep. Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year." Steve imitates a gunshot.

"Are you still in love with Nancy?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I found someone else, she's a little bit better for me.It's crazy. Ever since Dustin got home, he's been saying, 'You know, you gotta find your Suzie. You gotta find your Suzie.' "

"Wait, who's Suzie?"

"It's some girl from camp, I guess his girlfriend. To be honest with you, I'm not 100% sure she's even real."

" But that's not- that's not really the point. That doesn't matter. The point is, this girl, you know, the one that I like, it's somebody that I... didn't even talk to in school. And I don't even know why."

"Maybe 'cause Tommy H. would've made fun of me or... I wouldn't be... prom king. It's stupid. I mean, Dustin's right, it's all just a bunch of bullshit anyways. Because, when I think about it, I should've been hanging out with this girl the whole time."

"First of all, she hates me now because of a stupid thing I said but when we hanged out, we were bonding and shit.. She was perfect for me, she's nerdy, hangs out with kids too much.. She likes the same things I like, her brother is my bestfriend.. Sometimes I wonder if she's real, because she's too perfect."

"Wait--You like Y/N?"

"Yeah, ever since last year.. I like her so damn much, I can't even believe that I said to her that I shouldn't be hanging out with someone like her."

"YOU SAID THAT?" Robin's voice boomed out all over the bathroom, Steve just sighs and slids out of the cubicle..

"Unfortunately, yes.."

Steve slid in to Robins cubicle, she was glaring at him.

"If you ask me, Y/N doesn't deserve someone like me.. She--She's too nice to be caught up in my miserable life.. And besides she would never like me.."

"I think you're still high.."

"No, I'm not.."

"Do you remember what I said about Click's class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed?"

"Yeah?"

"It isn't because I had a crush on you. It's because... she wouldn't stop staring at you.."

"Mrs. Click?" Robin chuckles and just shakes her head.

"Y/N Henderson, I wanted her to look at me. But... she couldn't pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. And I didn't understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag. And- And you didn't even like her then and... I would go home... and just scream into my pillow."

"But Y/N's a girl.."

"Steve.."

"Oh.."

"Yeah, now listen..Don't give me the 'she doesn't deserve me' and 'she doesn't like me back' crap.. Y/N was inlove with you since highschool, now you will tell her all about your mushy mushy feelings and you'll two will get married, have kids and you'll have me to thank for. "

"But what about you?"

"Please, I moved on.."

"Really?"

"Hell yeah, with my pretty face?I could find someone in a jiffy!"

The two were laughing when Dustin and Ericka burst into the bathroom.. Annoyance and frustration written all over their face..

"Okay.What the hell?!" Dustin asked very annoyed.

"Dude, we're normal again.."

"That's not the problem now, we need to find Y/N and go with the rest of the party."

"Y/N's not with you?"

"Do you see her?" Erica asked with the normal sass in her voice. Robin rolls her eyes at Erica who just glares at her.

"Where did she go?" Steve ignored Erica's sarcastic question

"She said she'll check the perimeter, but she hasn't come back since." Dustin answered, she was worried for her sister.. In their situation, who wouldn't?

"Shit." Steve and Robin both utter at the same time.

Y/N was changed into a much more inauspicious clothes, it was just some pants and a shirt tucked into it.. She fixed her disheveled hair and wiped her sweat.. She needed to blend in, her eyes wander around the mall.. There were Russians walking around, bviously looking for someone and that someone was them.. All the exits are heavily guarded by guards, there's no way out..

Taking a deep breath she walked back to the theater, praying that her brother and friends was safely still there but before she could even reached the theater, a russian man spotted her..

"I got eyes on one of the target!" The russian said into his earpiece, making Y/N run to the higher level of the mall, her heart racing and she was starting to feel tired.

Y/N just ran until she lost the russian, her breathing was getting shorter by the second.. Y/N's leg was starting to hurt but she ignored it and looked down to see if she can spot her brother..

And there they are, getting chased by guards.. Worries pumped into her brain as they run.. She needed to help them, if not they could get killed.

"Hey stupid spies!I'm right up here, morons!" Y/N screamed at the top of her lungs as she waves her hands around..

Steve and Dustin was horrified as they hide into the counters, Y/N was risking her life for theirs..

The guards that was chasing them made eye contact and targeted Y/N but before they could do anything a car honk.. The russians looked at each other, confused and dazed.. Eleven can be seen controlling the car, she throws it at the bad men and all they could hear were groans..

Y/N felt a surge of relief, she made her way to her brother.. Dustin, Robin, Erica and Steve pop out from behind the counter, steam hissing.. Y/N saw her brother and they all rushed up to hug her..

A tight hug welcomed Y/N, but this hug wasn't just from Dustin.. It was also from Robin, Erica and Steve.. Suddenly they all look up to see the rest of the party.. The hug was cut off by Dustin running to hug Mike and Eleven.

"Lucas?" Erica saw her brother and it made Lucas confuse..

"What are you doing here?"

Y/N who was just taking in deep breaths smiled to herself.. They were safe, but she knew this was not over.. Steve stayed in Y/N side, Robin's word replayed in his mind.. This is his chance to say his undying love to Y/N.

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?" Y/N saw Steve besides her, she was growing tired but Y/N needed to keep thriving for everyone.. Y/N saw that Steve was hesitant, he was nervous and it made her felt nervous too.

"I--I uhh.." Steve mumbles, his tongue was backing out.. Y/N had such a powerful effect on him, to the way she says his name, and everytime Y/N calls him, his heart skips a beat.. It sounds corny, but it was true..

"What?Do you need a speak and spell?" Y/N joked, it didn't help a struggling Steve.. He started to grew more anxious, he needed to get this off his chest.. This could be the last time they all see each other alive, there's no telling what could happen to them.

Y/N was just staring at him

"I have something to confess---"

Steve was cut off by El who was in pain and grunting in the floor.. They all ran to her aid and helped her with the pain she was going through.. Steve slightly curses at himself, maybe this was not a great time for a love confession.. He needed to focus on surviving this hellish adventure.. Again

It finally ended.. Y/N was relieved, it was over.. They were safe, Y/N and Dustin were sitting in the back of an ambulance, a blanket around them as they hug each other..

"If this shit happens again, we're moving.." Y/N jokes.. Dustin chuckled, maybe they should.. However, the adventures were growing more fun and dangerous..

"Nah, we love being heroes.."

Y/N laughs as she held her brother tighter, she fixed his hair and wipe some dirt off his face.. Even if he's old now, he'll always be Y/N's baby brother.. She smiled at the memory of Suzie and Dustin singing in the middle of mayhem and chaos.

"Stooop, I'm all grown up now!" He stood up and made his way to his friends..

"Don't get too far, lover boy!" Y/N shouted causing Dustin's cheek to blush..

Y/N sighs at the sight of her brother walking away from her, this is the last time she'll save the world, she was tired of monsters.. Y/N was just enjoying the cold air of the night when someone cleared their throat.

"Hello to you Harrington.." Y/N smiled at Steve, he was just standing infront of her.. Y/N can't help but feel giddy when Steve's in his sailor outfit.. It saddens her that Steve was still stuck in his highschool mindset..

"I have something to tell you.." Steve mumbles incoherently, but Y/N understood it.. Steve was always nervous when Y/N's around, he remember the first time he saw Y/N..

Steve saw Dustin on the street asking for help, and he didn't believe at him first but he was soon convinced by how Dustin was nervous and scared.. They pulled up at the Henderson's residence, that's where he first saw--no that's not the right word..

That's where he first acknowledged Y/N..

She was sitting on the porch steps on her pajama's, there were dirt on her face and her hairs a mess.. Y/N's face lighten up when he saw Dustin getting out of the car..

"Hey Dus------What is he doing here?" Y/N's face dropped when he saw Steve also getting out of the car.

"He's our back up.." Her brother answered short and continue walking into the entrance of the basement.

"I'm back up..'' Steve said cocky at Y/N, she just scoffs and followed Dustin..

"For a guy with a black eye, you're awfully confident.."

"That's what seeing a pretty girl like you does to me.." Steve didn't know what he ate that time but he had this whole new confidence when he started talking to Y/N.. However, Y/N didn't seem impressed to his corny jokes and pick up lines, she was always scoffing and rolling her eyes..

"Yeah, you said that too when we were inside..That" Y/N's voice pulled him back to the present.. Y/N gestured at the burning mall infront of them.

"Yeah.." Steve cleared his throat, he opens his mouth, but the words won't come out he's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now, the clocks run out, times up, over, blaow .

"Are you gonna say something?" Y/N was starting to get nervous, did she do something to make Steve act strange? He was shaking, the sweat on his forehead is flowing like the Niagara Falls.. That's not attractive yet for some reason she found it hot..

"Oh--Yeah--Uhh.." He failed to say words again, why can't he just go straight to the point?

Robin who was with the rest of the party was staring at a stuttering and nervous Steve.. The rest started to notice even Jonathan and Nancy who was in each others arms..

"When is he gonna tell my sister that he likes her?" Dustin ponder as he stares at the two..

"I don't know, he's taking forever just uttering one sentence.." Lucas pitched in making the others laugh..

"I thought Steve was a suave and cool guy?" Mike jokes causing some of them to laugh, some was just quiet.. They were still having a hard time grasping all of this, especially Max..

"He's a nerd just like you guys.." Nancy answered, they all shake their heads as they watch Steve nervously fidgets..

"Alright, I finally had enough.." Robin whispers, the party turned to Robin, carefulky watching to what she had under her sleeves..

"HEY Y/N!" Robin shouts..

Y/N broke her gaze with Steve and brought it to a shouting Robin, not far from them.. Steve just froze to his place, panic started blaring out through his mind..

"WHAT STEVE'S TRYING TO SAY IS HE FREAKING LIKES YOU!" Robin shouted, and it all made them freeze.. Y/N blinked rapidly, did she hear that right? Steve l-likes her? What? When? How? Where?

Steve felt embarrased, he wanted the crawl in a hole and die.. Robin was dead to him, how could she do that? Now Y/N's gonna start to avoid him, she obviously doesn't like her back.

"I-Is that true?" Y/N finally asked the question she was dying to ask, she never really thought about Steve that way.. Fine, she's not gonna lie, there were some thoughts about Steve that kept her up at night..

"I can explain--If you don't feel the same it's totally fi----" Steve panicked and randomly said any excuses he can think off, not giving Y/N a chance to speak..

Y/N rolled her eyes at how Steve was rambling on, she smiled and stands up.. Pulling Steve sailor outfit, she kissed him..

Steve pressed his lips harder on Y/N, he wanted this kiss to happen since he first saw her.. And now it's happening, Y/N puts her arm around Steve's neck.. This was her first kiss and she was glad that it was to Steve.. They both kissed as the burning Star Court crumbles infront of them. Y/N didn't knew that you can find love and monsters in this terrifying situation..

Dustin groaned at the sight of her sister and bestfriend kissing, he wanted to vomit and scoop his eyes out.. This was not a sight for sore eyes..

"Ugh!I don't want to watch my sister exchange salivas with Harrington!" Dustin sigh under his breath

"Get used to it, you'll be seeing a lot of him.." Robin teased making Dustin die inside.

"Dammit!"

Y/N was just thinking that some people lost someone special, Eleven lost Hopper.. Max lost Billy and the rest will wake up in the morning with terrible memories haunting them everyday, they can no longer feel the assurance that they're safe in the quiet town they grew up to. They knew everything that lies withing the depths of this ground, all the horrible things that Hawkin Labs brought.. Chief Hopper and Billy Hargrove died for them, they were heroes.. And the sad part is, no one will ever know.. Those who deserves to be recognized is no longer here, the heroine act they did save the world yet the world doesn't even know about them.. But Y/N and the rest knows that the sacrifices they made won't go to waste, they'll do everything in their power to keep whatever haunts this eerie town at bay.

I found this highly nice but cringey at the same time so bear with it, I also wanted to update my series about James Potter but I just can't seem to end it ughhhhh..Anyways, I hope you guys like this one..

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realisticallycynical · 4 years ago

Text

Days of Blood and Starlight

by laini taylor

I never got to read this one but I know how ya sequels go so I was... cautious

on mobile so this is just gonna be long. tagging long post

Pros:

some extremely fun/effective formatting this time around, i tip my hat to you ms taylor

zuzana my love you deserve the best everything and i'm glad your mans uunderstands this

kaoru is going through A Time and making some truly dumb decisions but i cant even be mad at her really

did i mention teeth

almost enough teeth

teeth heists, not a phrase i thought i'd ever type but i'm so very glad i can

madrigal is more important, which is good because I aspire to be her

Cons:

thiago. send tweet.

no like seriously. ik getting the audience to hate your antagonist is a critical part of a lot of stories but jesus christ

jael is also terrible make no mistake.

truthfully hating these two both added and detracted from my experience it was weird

I'm pretty sure that several war crimes were committed but idk if the geneva convention covers magic or angels

deep sigh

protagonist isolates self in the second book of a ya novel to instigate plot and character development

zuz deserved better kaoru smh

Characters:

kaoru: girl i am. deeply concerned about your wellbeing. ik i just gave you shit for it in the last point but eat something. nap. hydrate. 5/10 for growing pains please talk to your friends

akiva: you fucked up bad and you're reaping what you've sown. in fairness you're not being stalker and are just trying to make amends so 6/10 good job but white savior isnt a good look on you m8

zuzana: ma'am I am still in love with you. I never stopped but I will complete your fairytale quests to win your hand. I want someone to ride or die for me as hard as you do for kaoru 53859319/10 a goddess

mik: never in my many years of ya have I met a better Obligatory Boyfriend Character. I'm not in love with you and you would not like me but I want someone to ride or die for me the way you do zuzana and her Wierd Missing Friend 5274/10 supportive and sets clear boundaries at the same time without being crazy

ziri: doing his best in a frankly impossible situation with a huge amount of trauma and no one to work on it with 9/10 A Boy who deserves love

hazael: rare that a fascist comes to terms with facism being Bad on their own. truly strength of character and I mean that unironically 10/10 excellent character arc

liraz: you are a fiery, seething ball of rage, and I cannot even begin to like you before you stop being a fucking racist. you care about your family and other women so theres that ig but 4/10 for being a White Feminist(tm)

thiago and jael: fuck. off. -4727496/10 die in a hole

ik im giving the characters a hard time but truthfully? great book, perfect continuation to the story, and a really good transition from ya romance to a true war story

that said, very serious content warnings for body horror, self harm, violence, and sexual assault

#long post #booklr #bookblr #daughter of smoke and bone #tbh i liked it more than book 1 or 3 #but its a heavy read

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years ago

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Five [PT. 1]

Part Eighty-Five [PT. 2]

Words: 5.5k

Warning(s): explicit language, explicit sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @edwardtriggerhandzz @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie @emariehorror @divaanya @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @liith-ium @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @ytwahsog @scarecrowmax @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @meetthesixxter @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @gingerspicetalks

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NIKKI

My lawyer looks completely unimpressed with my lack of shoes, shirt, and dignity as he leans back in his chair behind his desk, rubbing his temples.

"It doesn't work like that, Nikki, I'm afraid." He informs me finally, sitting up and leaning forward to rest his elbows on his desk.

"I was declared dead for two minutes. I died. My wife's technically a widow."

"You can't annul a four year marriage on the basis of 'I died for two minutes.' Some cases of actual death, it can take an act of congress for widow or widower to have an annulment for a marriage where their spouse is no longer alive, legitimately." He explains and I roll my eyes.

"So, what, I just get some divorce papers or something?"

"Unless I declare mental incapacity given that you went through a traumatic series of events within the last twenty-four hours and this could possibly be a very serious lapse in judgement." He argues and I stare at him.

"Stop pulling my dick."

"I'm not 'pulling your dick.' I just don't want you to make this decision and then regret it when your head clears."

I managed to wear him down and by the next morning, he left the papers by Tommy's door after Vince mentioned to me that Viv stayed over there with Tommy and Heather.

When I get home, Karen opens the door and looks at me, wide eyed and confused.

"H-Hey?" She says as I push past her and go to the phone, opting to change my answering machine.

"Hey, it's Nikki." I say. "I'm not here because I'm dead."

Karen just looks at me, astounded, and I go to my room, slamming the door.

I was good and tired and glutton for punishment because I got home that night and loaded up the biggest shot of smack I could muster and pulled the trigger.

I wake up with a sharp pain in the crook of my arm, a needle still in my skin as blood trails my forearm to collect in my palm...Jesus fucking Christ, I've officially lost it.

I take the needle out and force myself up to trudge to the living room to check my messages.

Things like, "You're an asshole," and "that's not funny," tend to be the common theme.

I guess I need to change my answering machine.

I comb through to see if I have anything from Viv.

Now would be a good time to hear her bitch me out for almost making her kill herself--because, lets face it, she's gonna blame it on me, anyway.

Nothing's found, though.

"Fuck, Vivian." I sigh out, sitting on the carpet in the living room, rubbing my forehead as a new message comes on…

"You fucker, you would be the one to fucking OD and die and then get up right after and file for divorce as if she doesn't have enough shit going on, already."

I furrow my brows at the voice.

"Axl the Twat?" I say aloud, confused, as he finishes with, "fuck you, you fucking fuck."

He hangs up and I raise my brows.

Did I die and wake up in a parallel universe? Axl defending Vivian?

Is this hell?

It cuts to the last message.

"Hey, umm...I don't know if you'll get this or not or if…" Vanity. "...I don't know what's going on but I heard something terrible on the radio and I suppose it was true--well, kind of, um…" she sighs. "We're not together anymore and I get that I just hope you're o--"

"Fuck that." I grumble, hitting delete.

I fall back and I look up at myself.

It's fucked that I bought this fucking house for Viv, and she's not even staying in it anymore.

I feel like I promised her so much and haven't given a damn thing to her except reasons to want to throw herself off of balconies.

I look down at my arm, dried blood still on my skin.

I'm fucking tired of this shit.

I let my complete exhaustion of being sick fuel me to dig through everything I own and throw out all of my rigs, any other drugs in my path, and even pour everything to get drunk off of down the sink--even the fucking cooking-wine.

Vivian's somewhere catching the holy spirit, probably, just sensing I'm finally fucking done.

Or she's somewhere in tears over me finally taking the final step to end our relationship.

I feel like it's dead in every way aside from legal.

Whisky's laying by the door, whining when I step over him to go throw the big garbage bag out.

I'd get down there and whine for her, too, but I know this is what needs to be done.

Our entire relationship has just been one giant clusterfuck, and I don't want to put her through the bullshit of having to try to forgive me and trust me, again.

I think I've already stolen enough of her peace of mind.

She'll be happier with Duff, anyway. He's a good guy. A hell of a lot more suited for her than I am.

My hand rubs the back of my neck and I realize I'm still wearing the small crucifix of her's.

I'm tempted not to give it back.

I just sigh and throw the trash out and get back in the house, getting in the shower.

When I get out, I ruffle a towel through my hair, seeing the light blinking on my answering machine.

I go over and try to keep myself from getting too excited at the thought of it being Viv before I hit play on my messages.

"Nikki, it's Doc. I know you feel like horseshit right about now but I need you to come down to the office at 5:00p.m., we're getting you guys together because we need to talk. See you then--preferebly kinda sober and coherent."

Turns out I'll have my ass chewed by Doc before Viv, after all.

I know he came down to the hospital and tore Slash and the guys new ones while I was unconscious.

I'm digging in my garbage for a couple pills to dull down my future shakes that I just know are gonna be coming before sundown.

Despite being not in shape to fucking drive anywhere, I still go because I know if I don't go, Doc will come here and I don't need him here.

It's morbid walking into the office to see Vince, Tommy, and Mick sitting and waiting for me while Doc sits behind his desk.

"Fuck me." I complain out loud, dreading what Doc's about to go on about.

"Sit." Doc tells me and I plop down beside Tommy, sighing, and Doc waits a minute before saying, "I canceled the European tour."

"What?" Vince asks and Mick furrows his brows.

"What the fuck, Doc--"

"--Shut the fuck up and listen." He cuts me off while Tommy nervously shakes his leg. "If you bastards go to Europe, one of you will come back in a body bag. And I'm not gonna be the fucking manager that runs Mötley Crüe into the ground." He states harshly.

"That's a fucking first." I laugh out, meanly, and Doc glares at me. "Guess dead rockstars don't make as much money as alive ones, huh? I coulda told ya that after Razzle--"

"--Nikki." Mick states.

"Where's my wife?" I snap next.

"Oh, the one you so stupidly filed for divorce from without giving me a heads up first? Probably with her friends that haven't put her through the ringer and fucked her over time and time again." He states.

"I didn't know I needed permission to make decisions in my personal life--that have nothing to do with Mötley Crüe."

"Are you two just gonna argue or are we gonna actually talk about why we're here because I have things to do." Vince grumbles.

"Tommy came to me and told me he's thinking about rehab." Doc tells us and I glance at Tommy, who's avoiding looking at anybody. "I'm not taking Mötley Crüe on tour again, in a studio, whatever, until you guys get your act together."

We all look at each other, exhaling, and I rub my lips together.

"Fine." Vince sighs, and Doc looks at Tommy.

He nods.

"Nikki?" Doc asks and I just stare at him.

The guys are gone in a few minutes, leaving just me and Doc and I stand up.

"I wanna see Viv." I tell Doc as he digs through some files, and he looks up and blinks from behind his desk,

"She said she's not seeing you until you get help." Doc states.

"She says that but I bet I could find her tonight and still get her under me in less than three minutes."

"Assuming she's not still under Duff." Doc says and I tense up. "You think I didn't notice how questionably close they got on tour?" He adds.

"She's going through a crisis." I reply.

"Can't imagine why." He mumbles.

"Just tell me where she's at, Doc." I snap.

"You look like shit. You need to go home and get some fuckin' rest because you're all checking in tomorrow afternoon." He adds.

"I'm not going anywhere until I see my wife."

"You mean the wife you filed for divorce from?" He questions and I roll my jaw. "Your wife is resting. You should, too."

1981

I fumble for my key to the apartment, cussing under my breath when I can't get the door opened.

"Motherfucker." I hiss, finally getting it unlocked and shoving it open…

I slam it shut and toss my keys across the room, hearing Tommy and Vince's room door creak open.

Vivian crosses her arms, a scowl on her face, her hair tousled from sleep.

"Could you be any louder?" She snaps, shutting the door behind her, going to the kitchen.

My eyes run up and down her long legs as she heads that way, only in one of Tommy's t-shirts and panties.

Fuck. Me.

I go to grab the bottle of Jack on the counter, taking a sip as she gulps some water down, a droplet escaping the glass as she drinks, rolling down her chin to her neck and I watch it, my burning throat getting dry as I try to pull myself together, my prick starting to push against my pants.

Damnit.

It's like the sane part of myself is trying to slap the hopelessly horny part of me.

She's fucking evil, dude, fuck off, I tell myself.

She's hot.

You hate each other.

I wonder what weird shit she's into in bed.

She's a bitch. You know she's a bitch. Leave her alone.

Oh, I forgot she's supposedly a virgin.

Go to bed, dumbfuck. GO TO BED.

That means I get to watch her experience stuff for the first time.

I end up chuckling, amused at the thought of seeing her pretty eyes roll in her head as pleasure bombards her for the first time.

"What?" She snaps, and I realize I've been staring at her.

I'm about to answer until I get caught up at the sight of her nipples peering through her shirt...fuck me.

"Nikki," she shoves at my shoulder, making me take my eyes off of her chest.

She just scoffs.

"Go touch yourself in the bathroom or something. Jesus." She puts the glass down and walks past me to go back to Tommy's room.

See? Evil.

I ignore the voice of reason and I catch her wrist and stop her, yanking her closer to me.

She looks like a deer in headlights for a minute before I'm grabbing at her hair closest to her neck and pulling her to me, kissing her.

It's a pretty clean kiss, no tongue, no mess, just testing the waters.

She doesn't push me away or beat me up like I always thought she would do, instead, when I pull away for a moment, she takes a breath, wide eyed, before grabbing me by my jacket, pulling me back in.

I'm surprised but I don't let it get in the way, taking lead a little to guide her.

For someone who's never been kissed before (again, allegedly) she's not awful at it like I expected--well, I didn't expect her to be awful because she's never kissed anybody, I expected her to be awful because she's so mean to me.

Her hands push my jacket off my shoulders and I push my tongue past her lips, coaxing a quiet moan from her.

Holy shit.

My hands go to her ass and she grasps at my hair as I pick her up, her legs wrapping around me.

Just to see if we're on a standard starting basis of common interests, I lift one of my hands and bring it back down, not too hard, but hard enough, and she hums, fucking biting my bottom lip and grinding into me a couple times.

I have to keep from creaming my pants just by her moving against me.

You're being stupid, I tell myself, but I can't bring myself to leave her alone now.

She's been the forbidden fruit or whatever for months now and I just gotta have it.

I take her to my room and kick the door shut with my foot, taking her to the shitty mattress on the floor.

I drop her onto it, seeing her in the glow of streetlights.

"Take your shirt off." I say, lowly, and she rubs her lips together and slowly pulls it over her head, her bare chest exposed and my dick's practically throbbing at this point.

I take her crucifix in my hand, and she looks down at it as I lick my lips.

She unfastens it and throws it aside.

I lean down and kiss her again, trailing down her neck, my tongue against her skin and she gasps out a sharp breath, her hands pulling at my shirt.

I take it off and she's sitting up and running her palms over my shoulders, down my chest, and I grasp her around her throat, pushing her back to the mattress and I feel a little shiver go up her spine.

My tongue circles one of her nipples and she lets out bated breaths as I take it between my teeth.

She moans, loudly, and I move my hand to her mouth.

"Shh!" I say. "You're gonna wake them up." I add and she nods.

I do the same to her other breast, with my hand over her mouth, but then I get an idea.

A glorious, completely selfish idea.

I take my hand off of her mouth and smirk before kissing the middle of her chest, one of her top ribs, biting into it, hard, making her scratch at my shoulder while covering her own mouth as a sharp moan is forced from her.

I run my tongue over the bite mark and continue down her stomach, stopping at the top of her panties, glancing at her.

She's still breathing heavy, hands covering her chest, tilting her head to see me.

I run my hand over her clothed core, a little noise coming from her throat, feeling a big wet spot over her cunt.

She lifts her hips and starts pulling them down and I take them and discard them, running my fingertips up the inside of her thigh before I rub my thumb around her clit that's slickened wet.

Her hands jolt to mine between her legs, her back arching, trying her hardest not to be loud.

I tug her to the edge of the mattress, and grab one of her hands, replacing mine with it before I'm looming over her for a moment. "Touch yourself." I tell her, my lips brushing against hers and I can tell she's blushing under the dark of the room. "C'mon, it's hot, just do what feels good." I add, my lips pressing against hers for a moment before I feel her hand move, a delicate gasp coming from her and I pull my lips from hers to watch her face.

Her eyes close, her head tilts back while her other hand tangles in her hair.

I stand up to take my pants off, grabbing at my painfully hard cock when she bucks her hips against her frail fingers.

"Nikki," she says, eyes still shut, head back, and I rub my hands down my face.

We haven't even fucked yet and I can already tell she's gonna make me a fucking idiot.

I get my pants off and run my thumb over my tip and get some precum on it, leaning down and holding it up to her lips.

"Hold your tongue out," I tell her and she opens her eyes and looks at me, before doing as I say.

The pad of my thumb rubs it over her tongue and she lets out a satisfied sigh, looking up at me as I lick her spit off my thumb.

I get back up on my feet for a moment and she gets up and crawls to the foot of the bed, her eyes on my prick, hunger in her eyes…

Nice try, evil bitch, you're not stealing my soul by sucking it through my dick.

I grab her hair and make her look at me.

"Lay down." I tell her and doesn't argue, eyes still ravenous…

I kiss up her kneecap to her thigh, sliding up and up until--

"Oh, fuck!" She whimpers out when my tongue swirls her clit around, getting the first taste of Saint Viv.

My eyes are the ones to roll back, now.

Holy shit.

It's good because she's Satan and needs something to trap you with, that little voice comes back.

Her hands find my hair, her lips find my name and if I don't get ahold of myself, I'll be finding God based on this experience alone.

Apparently she's finding him right now because all she can muster out is, "oh, God."

I find a good rhythm with my tongue, her pussy starting to grind against my face as teasing, little sultry moans flutter through the room.

After a minute I feel her body tense up, and I pat myself on the back as she comes, my tongue lapping at her entrance to get drunk off of her, my hands running over her stomach and thighs.

Vivian claims we just went right into sex without doing anything aside from making out before hand but I distinctly remember going down on her. She must've blacked out once she realized we were about to fool around or something but I remember that happening because it was something I'd dreamed up doing ever since I met her, creepy but honest.

I pry myself from her to grab a rubber behind the head of the mattress, the both of us pulling ourselves up there.

I get it on and turn over, getting on top of her.

She's already hooking her legs around me before I even line myself up with her.

She looks like she's high or drunk, eyes nearly shut, her lip between her teeth, her head tilted slightly, exposing her neck.

I lean down and kiss her neck, her skin damp with sweat and she sighs.

I rub my tip against her opening and she closes her eyes.

I push into her, having to coach myself through because fuck her pussy is tight, and she winces, her mouth opening but nothing coming out. I'm about to ask her if she's alright when she speaks first.

"Take it off." She tells me.

"What?"

"The condom, take it off."

"Are you trying to trap me or something?" I snap at her.

"I wanna feel you." She tells me softly, and I guess it's kinda sweet, or primal, whatever.

I pull out of her and take the condom off, dropping it by the bed before I'm pushing back into her.

We both moan, and I can feel her body stretching to accommodate my entrance, her face showing pain.

I pullout again, but before I can get out completely, she pulls me back in with her legs, letting out a high pitched breath.

More of her juices coat over my cock.

"Fuck, Vivian," I say it, thrusting into her again and she wraps her arms around my back, hugging me to her, and my lips find hers as I push into her again, and again, roughly, the feeling of heaven washing over me each time I go back inside her.

I make her take every inch, forcing myself to fit the last inch and a half despite her body not having room, and she writhes underneath me.

"I think I'm bleeding." She tells me breathlessly and I think she wants me to back off or get off her, but when I go to, she says, "No, keep going, it feels good."

The look on her face is a clear indication that she's into it.

I'm kind of shocked that churchy Vivian is into the same shit I'm into, and I grab her throat, again, and kiss her, our tongues moving together.

"I wanna get on top next." She tells me through moans.

"Why?" I ask.

"I wanna see it." She says and I furrow my brows for a second before I catch on.

I'm rolling off of her and onto my back, my hands running up her thighs and waist when she gets on top of me, and I grab myself as she straddles me, pushing it against her before my hands pull her down onto me.

She screws her eyes shut, as she sinks down to the hilt, her thighs shaking, and I hit her ass cheek as hard as I can and she gets so tight around me I can't pull out until she relaxes.

"You can't do that shit." I tell her harshly, biting back my urge to go ahead and come, and she relaxes a little more as my hands hold at her waist, guiding her movements since she's never done this before.

"Does it feel good?" I ask her, her little moans and whimpers getting me even more hot and bothered.

"Yes," she nods, tipping her head back. "So good."

I look between us, clear view of her pussy taking it, and I sigh.

"It looks good, too." I tell her and she leans down over me, her forehead against my chest as she watches me fuck her for a moment before looking at me, kissing me sloppily, her chest pressing against mine making her sigh when her nipples brush against my skin.

When she pulls away, I'm sticking two fingers in her mouth, taking her by surprise but she starts sucking on them in a second, and I force them down her throat, making her gag, as I start pounding into her, making her nearly shriek out but I gag her with my hand around her throat.

"You're so pretty." I tell her, spit all down her chin from choking on my fingers, eyes nearly shut, my hand around her throat, and I glance down between us, licking my lips. "That pussy's pretty, too." I add and she cries out when my other hand starts rubbing at her clit.

I take my hand from her throat and she gasps for air.

"Nikki, I'm--"

She can't finish.

I roll onto her again, getting on my knees and lift her hips, continuing to hammer into her roughly and her eyes go to the back of her head, as her cum soaks the both of us.

Why the fuck didn't she tell me she can come like that?

I feel myself reaching my own end and go to pull out but she tugs me onto her, kissing me, her legs snaking around me.

At first I don't think she realizes I'm about to blow my kids everywhere, then when I try to pullout, she says, "do it in me, I've heard it feels good."

I look at her like she's crazy because it's something I'd never expect her to say.

"Please, Nikki, let me have it."

I don't have time to argue because I'm finishing with a grunt and a satisfied smile at the sight of tears of pleasure in her eyes before her lids screw shut, her mouth open as a moan leaves her, her body sparking off with shivers.

I let her have it.

"You're a slut." I tell her, thrusting into her a couple more times and she hums at my words.

"Shut up." She says next and I kiss her one last time before rolling off of her.

She pulls the covers over her chest and closes her eyes, tired, and I watch her for a moment.

Okay, she may not be a slut, but I know she's gonna be able to get away with murder and I'm gonna let her because she's fucking Vivian.

I ran myself into my own grave, but heroin and Vivian were major catalysts, but I know I was a catalyst for her own rock bottom, too. We were just too fucking young to know better, I guess. We fell in love and got hooked on playing house without actually stopping to think what all it would look like. Of course, neither of us expected me to be on smack, neither of us expected me to reach the level of stupidity that I reached with Vanity, and neither of us expected her to be conceiving a lovechild while I was next door dying, and I certainly didn't expect to file for divorce first, if at all. I remember that first night together in that shitty apartment got me hooked on her. Not just sex, I actually started listening to what she had to say after that, and wanting to have conversations, and hangout...I fell in love and she made it easy for me to. It was like boiling a frog. Things got worse and worse slowly overtime until BAM! I had Vanity, crack, and junk, and Vivian had Duff and a secret savings account she didn't think our lawyer would get record of. I was pissed, but I knew it was my fault.

All of it was.

I had promised her the world and instead stole everything from her like a life-sucking demon.

She wasn't the evil, manipulative bitch.

I was.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

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ninawritesastory · 6 years ago

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The fact that voltron will admit to no wrong doing... hurts more than I thought it would. The people defending them I don't know if they're naiive or just hardcore no criticism types. Whatever, I'm leaving this crappy show I hope their ratings drop.

I think it might be even worse than that; not so much that they’ll refuse to admit it, but that they may honestly think they’ve done nothing wrong. Queerbaiting happens all the time; even LGBT people themselves have been guilty of it.

And the attitudes surrounding queerbaiting kind of remind me about the attitudes surrounding rape. Like, on the surface we all agree it’s a bad thing and shouldn’t happen, but when presented with actual instances of it there will always be people who tell you you’re just making it up.

“You weren’t queerbaited, you’re just reading way too much into things!”

“But they said Shiro and Adam weren’t getting back together, so that’s not queerbaiting!”

“They can’t possible be queerbaiting, they said Shiro was gay and he had a boyfriend! They were even gonna get married!”

Like…I wish I could say I see their point, but they don’t really…have one? The thing about LGBT rep is that, for so long, everything had to be subtext. Even in real life, it was all subtext. There were secret codes in LGBT communities way back in the day, like lesbians giving each other violets or the presence of green carnations in the gay community. Even today, so much of it is subtext. That’s why things like Pride and media representation are so important. The LGBT community has spent centuries living their lives in subtext. Small clues, unspoken cues, complicated work-arounds, the works. And we’ve been getting more and more vocal about getting out of subtext.

This is why it’s so important when a character is explicitly linked in canon to an LGBT identity. It’s pulling us out of the subtext. I could handle Lance ending up with a woman and still being bi so long as it’s explicitly addressed. Because unless it’s explicitly addressed in the show, it’s just subtext. And maybe Word of God.

Queerbaiting isn’t solely a result of the show itself; if the VLD team had never made such a big deal about eventual LGBT rep, if they’d never been evasive and coy about certain animation and direction decisions, if they’d never gone so far as to tag clips and trailers with a popular gay ship, none of this would be as big of an issue as it is. Because there would be nothing muddying the waters, so to speak. If they’d kept quiet and not made a big fuss about LGBT rep, the accusations of queerbaiting would be much less well-founded.

But they were pretty vocal about LGBT rep. And they were pretty vocal about Shiro being gay being a last-minute addition. Especially since Shiro was slated to die after Season 2. (Which, at this point, that might have been a kinder fate.) And in terms of the Shiro and Adam not getting back together thing…that’s one thing.

Even the best relationships can encounter conflicts that they can’t successfully overcome. That would’ve been fine. But instead of giving us Shiro and Adam even alluding to the state their relationship ended in, they gave us nothing. Absolutely nothing, after hyping Adam’s existence to such an extent where it wasn’t a stretch to think he’d end up playing a major role this season. I can’t remember hearing more than one or two things about Veronica, and she played a pretty big role; but Adam was mentioned multiple times and killed off quicker than the victim in a Law & Order cold opening. That’s where the queerbaiting comes into play. And that’s what makes it all the more vile.

As far as Keith and Axca go…if there had been any reasoning behind it, I could’ve been more lenient. But they’ve only interacted, what, maybe twice before over the course of the whole show? I know a lot of us treat it like a joke when we say shit like “A man can live and die for another and share an incredibly deep and obviously romantic bond with him and everyone says it’s just friendship, but a man and a woman share a pencil and suddenly romance is alive,” but jesus tapdancing christ. Keith and Lotor having a thing would’ve been more believable in terms of the actual content. Hell, Keith and Rolo would’ve made more sense.

And maybe I’d be more lenient on the whole “Keith is straight” concept the show seems to be suddenly angling for if they hadn’t had Allura—canonically and repetitively stated to be an extremely beautiful and attractive woman—fall right into Keith’s arms and he didn’t so much as flinch. I have never met a straight man in my life who could handle that close a contact without losing it in some capacity.

But I feel ya, buddy. You do what you need to. I’m in too deep enough as it is, so because I’m a stubborn ass I’m going to be seeing this trainwreck through. May you find better programming and an abundance of positive LGBT rep wherever your life takes you, anon.

#nina answers asks #anon #ugh i'm so fucking tired #both physically and mentally

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iwantescapism13 · 3 years ago

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And thank you for responding! Haha. Okay, okay that's enough gratitude for me. I'm gonna look like a fool soon.

And since it isn't tagged to anything and this is just a conversation with you, then I guess I can say spoilers about the story eh? Haha.

- Here's a fun fact for you: I have read "There Will Be No Dancing" for the 3rd time (1, because of course; 2, because I recorded myself reading the whole thing for voice-acting purposes [all for fun]; 3, to re-record it again for voice-acting purposes and just to remind myself what happened before the sequel) and their romantic moves on each other still caught me off-guard. The "thigh" comment, the "hot" comment... my gosh. And even more so here in "The View From Mars". I guess I should be glad your patience is short because I like action more than words (I swear, if they flirted with words ONLY and no action, I would feel something's off). Now that I think about it, it WILL be off because Marcanne is very, very physical with each other. So it all checks out.

- One thing I forgot to mention: I felt some kind of pain when Marcy had that courage to kiss Anne like that, but then had to go off with a "Don't be impatient" line. Oof. I know where it's going. And when that chapter ended, I just... the pain train just... whoosh me out of existence.

- Very, very bold of Anne and Marcy to start kissing / nibbling necks during their first relationship. Hahaha. Even my girlfriend and I weren't that bold. We would blush just looking at each other. And they're just what, 3 months into the relationship? Daaaaamn. Props to Anne for being the impatient one. Hahaha.

- Regarding your explanation on Anne's POV on the first five chapters, now that you explain it that way, it kinda reminds me of the canon Anne and what she's probably feeling right now on Earth. It's... quite odd. Because the circumstances are totally different, and yet very similar. To me, at least. For your version (I'm not entirely sure whether I read it correctly but) would it work if Anne comes back to Earth without the Plantars, so her decision of coming back is really out of her (romantic) love for Marcy and (platonic) love for Sasha? Like, of course. She'll be spending some time alone... thinking about everything that happened. But would it work if she went through it all alone? Or would you go with the flow of the canon, let one or all of the Plantars be Anne's "voice of reason"?

- Hahaha. I get it, I get it. I can see that the goose down is very intentional. The situation ended perfectly, with them gazing up at the sky. And them cuddling on that place at the ending credits? So damn adorable. Sprig will tease Anne to no end if he knew, I think.

- Hmm... interesting take. I guess it's just an "Anne thing" to run away from things that are unfamiliar? I personally didn't like Anne's decision in canon or in here because "jesus fucking christ Anne, you chose your found family over MARCY?!" but yeah... good job on making it similar to canon. Albeit with your own explanation as to WHY, of course.

- I see. So I was a little right, then. Marcy giving her journal was her giving her vulnerability to Anne because everything about that journal is, like, her life I guess. All the little notes and sketches and drawings... they're all personal. I guess it's the only thing Marcy knows to give because, what else can she give, am I right? Other than love... and that kiss on the neck (jesus, I still can't believe Marcy was THAT bold) hahaha. Wait a minute... oh... was... did she... no... noooo... was her "real" gift... to get them stuck in a world together forever? Oh Marcy... (I'm just kidding... or am I?)

In all seriousness, I actually like that you seem to understand Anne's character quite well. It makes sense. It's... realistic. If I were to write Anne, she'd probably just be this overprotective person who would be happy with Marcy giving her her journal. Doing a double-take on it makes it seem like she's weirded out by it, but I know that's not the case for yours. I'm just a little stupid when it comes to these things. I never think about the little bits that probably goes on in their minds. And that's one of the things I like about your story.

- Your explanation on Sasha's feelings reminds me of Matt Braly's comment about Sasha's feelings in 'Reunion' when she decided to let go of Anne's hand. I'd like to ask: do you plan on writing about Sasha? As in, add her in your next instalment of this series (if you're ever gonna create one)? Not necesarily have to be in her POV, just have her as a recurring character? I'm interested because, Sasha seems very underappreciated in this fandom (understandably, since she DID emotionally manipulate Anne after all) and I'd like to know whether you would try it out. But hey, there's seriously no pressure or whatsoever here. Marcanne being the core of your story is what hooked me after all. I just... like to know people's different takes on her character.

- I... I got to admit that I DID feel like Chapter 6 was pretty rushed (as in everything ended just like that). If there's anything I dislike, it's Anne's view on things in that chapter. But that's a good thing! The fact that I'm mad (not really, just displeased) at the character rather than the story means that you did well in establishing that Anne was so conflicted with everything.

If you're gonna write a sequel, great! I'm gonna look forward to it and you bet I'll be writing my comments like this again ahaha.

If you're not, then thank you anyway! Your writing style is great and entertaining! Definitely one of the best ones in the Amphibia fandom (not even joking).

Hi! You don't know who I am, but I'm basically the person who kept reblogging your chapter updates on 'The View From Mars' and kept saying that I'll be reading them once all chapters have been uploaded. Haha. Now that it's complete, I could finally read it... and I did! And it was such a goddamn rollercoaster ride!

I'll be using the space of this ask to share my thoughts about the story:

- I already get it that Anne has total hots for Marcy ever since the first instalment but to see her actually make certain moves on Marcy?! And Marcy doing some things back?! Oh my gosh... that caught me off guard. It was so fucking awesome, you have no idea.

- Chapters 1 - 5 was... bittersweet? Like, the Marcanne parts were definitely, definitely sweet. But... ever since I accidentally saw the tag where you mentioned that it might not exactly be a happy ending, I couldn't help but notice that Marcy... was really troubled by something. Like, it felt gradual. And I know what it is (because I can see that you're basing it on the canon story so it's about wanting all of them to travel to different worlds rather than sending them home) but you still managed to make it your way and it all made sense in the context of your own version of the story.

- It's actually very fascinating that I could fill in the in-betweens of the chapters to be the actual episodes (from before 'The First Temple' all the way to 'True Colors') and everything still made sense. The goose feathers part is probably the only thing that doesn't tie in with the canon since all of them got a caterpillar coat instead for 'The Second Temple' but eh... that's a small matter.

- Speaking of gradual sadness, Chapter 1 seems to be your interpretation of 'A Day At The Aquarium'. Interesting that, even if they are "you know" (haha), Anne still chose the Plantars over Marcy. I wonder why? Is it still because Anne felt like it'll be the last time she'll see them?

- I love your version of how Anne got Marcy's journal. I'm not sure whether you intended for that to happen as some sort of "foreshadowing" that Marcy is gonna do something, well... "not favorable for everybody", if you get what I mean... but it's an awesome idea! Marcy giving her journal must've been her version of "giving your vulnerability to someone you trust" kind of thing?

- For a teeny tiny moment, I thought you were gonna add in some Sashanne content. Make it a love triangle or something.

- I love that you chose the love interest trope as the source of conflict between Anne and Marcy in your own version of 'True Colors'. I would've liked an alternative version where Marcy actually said something like "I love you, Anne... it's true. And... I'm really sorry..." when she got stabbed. But eh, no dialogue and just descriptions were good enough actually. I understand it's mostly on Anne's perspective on things. She must've been so, so frustrated that maybe Marcy did say something but she just tuned everything out because she thought all of it were fake (which is a very sad thought).

- The diary entry... I actually thought Marcy would say something about her feelings for Anne... but yeah... maybe it'll be mentioned in your sequel (*nodgenodgewinkwink*).

- Have I already mentioned that the Marcanne cuddling scenes were the best ever? Because they are.

Anyway, thank you! The story made me feel feels and... I don't know what else to say. I'm such a fan. :D

I wonder what'll be your take on Dark Marcy... hmm...

Aw thanks. I can see View from Mars as a roller coaster. A long climb up followed by a short, sharp drop. It works. As for your thoughts - and thank you for providing them!

Honestly I think part of the reason I have them "making moves" is that my patience for pining is short, lol. Like, it has its place, you know? But I do want the characters to, like, do something with each other aside from making eyes at each other. I'm not clever enough to write like regency era fic where all the action is in dissecting clever dialogue.

Plus it's their first relationship and they're kind of fumbling around in every aspect including what they do or don't do with each other. It's fun to write that kind of uncertainty and negotiation.

The first five chapters are definitely the whole point of the story. Keeping things limited to Anne's POV gives us the tension behind the whole story and having her brush up against this whole thing troubling Marcy, only to pull away at crucial moments feels right. Like, Anne being close to Marcy physically and emotionally and still missing the mark so profoundly is the core of the story. Sometimes the people you're close to have shit going on in their lives that you don't know about, that you kind of don't want to know about because you can sense that it will change things. Anne is full of that in this story. She keeps thinking about how they can fix all of that after going back home. Which on one hand is fair, they've got a lot going on, but it's also a denial in its own way, because going back home is still this abstract thing to her, and because we as readers know that it's not going to work out that way.

The period of time where Marcy is staying in Frog Valley is pretty interesting stuff, to me. We get to see her in a context where she's trying to fit into a new place, which can resurface some insecurities and foreshadow things to come. Meanwhile it's a place where Anne is already comfortable so any notes of discord she picks up becomes more troubling and, again, foreshadows things to come. I would have liked to spend more time with Marcy meeting Maddie and other stuff but people who've read my stories before know this would mean going into meandering territory where I get lost in the sauce of words in a WIP that never sees any end. Gotta stop doing that.

And I added the goose down because yeah, they do get the caterpillar stuff but that's not until they're like a couple minutes into the episode. Before that, they're wearing more traditional cold weather clothes and it's like, where'd they get that. They hibernate. So I decided Marcy scared up some goose down. Which gives her an excuse to be out there and gives Anne an excuse to go look for her which gives both of them an excuse to meet spontaneously out in the fields under a starry night. Which is basically my bread and butter.

As for Anne sticking with the Plantars despite this new relationship, I think she just got cold feet. It happens. You find yourself in a moment where you have to make a snap decision between something new and uncertain and exciting or something familiar. At this point, the Plantars are something familiar and Marcy something uncertain and exciting, which is worth thinking about since Marcy is the one she's known the longest. But yeah, she made a snap decision and she chose the familiar. It happens. And if it's a contrivance to keep the story going the way I want it, that's fine too. You gotta contrive at least a little you know?

Marcy giving her journal to Anne is meant to be like a big romantic gesture that's not entirely thought through and kind of catches Anne by surprise and she's not sure how to take it. Like, I don't know. I like when a couple are... not quite in sync. Like giving up her journal is this thing that means a lot to Marcy, but from Anne's perspective it's a little odd and kind of makes her do a double take. It either forces them to kind of renegotiate this whole thing they've got going on.

Or Anne can put it aside and tell herself she'll think about it when she gets back to Earth. Which she does, just not in the way she thinks.

Love triangles are, like, the least appealing thing to me. I do think Sasha is jealous on some level but to what level is open to interpretation. Is she feeling left out, is she just mad that something happened without her direct approval and supervision, is she feeling jilted, I mean, could be a little of everything. Feelings are messy.

Honestly chapter 6 is the weakest part of the fic to me. Partly because this whole thing is from Anne's POV and Anne... is having a very crowded moment during True Colors. So things kind of have to move in a snappy way, the space to unpack stuff really isn't there. Also I do like how Marcy's last words play out in canon. Anything I changed there would make it actively worse, I think.

But yeah, thanks for reading and thanks for your thoughts!

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Cheers for coming yesterday Jimmy: Actually did a decent job on the gifts according to Cass not that she's gonna thank you herself like Janis: No probs, seemed like she had a good time, nice to see Janis: And I'm glad about that, had no idea, awkward age, like Jimmy: I think she did yeah. Better 13th than I had anyway Jimmy: Even if she couldn't bring Twix into the line of fire Janis: Same Janis: All you can ask, yeah? Janis: Don't think Twix is familiar with the idea of a friendly, shit would've got too real Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: Too right. She's a savage Janis: Its why she fucks with her Jimmy: Anyway, if Cass don't text you, let me know and I'll make her Janis: Ain't no snitch Janis: You can tick me off her thank you note list, it's chill Jimmy: Alright Janis: Grace was gutted not to get an invite then I told her Bobby weren't coming and it'd probably fuck up her lewk and she was over it Jimmy: Unlucky Gracie we already had our fair share of mean girls there like Jimmy: Who can compete with tweens Janis: Forreal Janis: past her prime Janis: too bitter a pill to swallow on a Saturday afternoon, like Jimmy: You should tell her its better to get it outta the way. Then your night can go right Janis: So I've heard Janis: you better let her know Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: Not in the mood for chick flicks and a catch up Janis: Hope it ain't in your not so distant future then Jimmy: Not part of the plan to start dating your sister Janis: She's not the only girl that is down to netflix and chill in this town is she Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: Haven't asked Janis: Didn't come up? Janis: One for the to-do list Jimmy: What are you on about? Janis: Your new girlfriend Janis: You wanna check before you commit like Jimmy: I don't have a girlfriend Jimmy: not that it's any of your business like Janis: Whatever, not like I was stalking you Janis: hard to miss, that's all Jimmy: What? Jimmy: That I was chatting to the only person our age except my ex Janis: Yeah Janis: Seems nice Jimmy: Wasn't gonna talk to you, was I? Jimmy: She is Jimmy: You'd know if you said anything to her Janis: Don't want your ex and next to be besties Janis: Not a good idea is it Jimmy: Doesn't matter it's not gonna happen Jimmy: I barely know her and I doubt I'll see her again Jimmy: Cass don't need me to chaperone her playdates as standard Janis: I'm very sorry for you Janis: Sure you can make it happen Jimmy: I'm sorry that you're jealous Jimmy: Maybe I could, if I wanted to Janis: Fuck off, I'm not Janis: Idk, ask her if she wants to fake date Jimmy: Why do you give so much of a fuck then? Jimmy: I don't want to, again none of your business but Janis: Making conversation Janis: Sure Jimmy: Why? Jimmy: We aren't mates Janis: Idk Janis: you can tell everyone I'm lonely and obsessed if you like Janis: just felt like it Janis: sorry Jimmy: fuck off Jimmy: why would I do that? Janis: 'Cos we're not mates Janis: why not? Jimmy: Why would I chat shit about you just cause you're my ex Jimmy: and who the hell to? Jimmy: I'm a dickhead, I'm not that dickhead Janis: Whoever you see fit, I don't care Janis: maybe the kid who's bright idea it was to tell you about my dead sister Jimmy: He wouldn't care either, he wasn't trying to chat shit Jimmy: He thought I already knew, since I was your boyfriend like Janis: Of what, all of 2 months Janis: not like we'd sat down and talked about our sad stories yet Janis: Oh well Jimmy: He didn't know we faked it before, I'm not going around with that as an opener Janis: Oh yeah Janis: forgot Janis: well its all on me then Janis: good to know Jimmy: Not like it matters now Janis: Not to you Janis: I'd gathered Jimmy: To nobody Jimmy: He only mentioned that he used to hang with her Jimmy: He's probably forgotten about it Janis: So you reckon Janis: Let's all forget it then Jimmy: Already done Janis: You're a cunt Janis: fuck you Jimmy: That'll be why you broke up with me then Janis: Not how I remember it Janis: selective memory saving your day again Jimmy: Who cares? Jimmy: It's still done Jimmy: how my day's going has nothing to do with you Janis: I do, you absolute moron Janis: Jesus Christ Jimmy: Frame it that I broke up with you then if that's what you need Jimmy: Not gonna change anything is it Janis: Apparently not Janis: Forget it Jimmy: How can I? Jimmy: You don't get to come into my inbox with this now Janis: and you don't get to ignore me forever Janis: i'm not going anywhere any time soon, deal with it Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: I have to ignore you, alright Jimmy: Sorry that I can't be your fake mate Janis: Why can't you be my actual mate then Janis: I'm that fucking bad, yeah? Janis: Cheers Jimmy: Cause I don't wanna be your friend Jimmy: I can't be around you like that Janis: I didn't dump you Jimmy: You didn't try very hard to stop me Jimmy: Whatever I'm not trying to blame you Jimmy: I'm just saying I can't Janis: I didn't know you were gonna say that Janis: it took me by surprise alright Janis: I'm sure I could've handled it better but fucking hell Janis: do we really have to do this? Jimmy: Not like I planned it myself Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I don't know what to do Janis: No you have to know Janis: Tell me how to fix this Jimmy: All I know is I wanted to kiss you every second we were stuck in laser tag Jimmy: but that won't fix anything Janis: Might Janis: Could've given it a shot Janis: Perhaps not at a 13th bday party Jimmy: I really fucking miss you Janis: I miss you too Janis: that's what I've been trying to say this whole damn time Jimmy: having to ignore you all this time is one of the hardest things I've ever done Jimmy: I near lost my mind yesterday Janis: At least you didn't spend yours giving an innocent girl evils, tryna start shit Janis: I was so angry you were over me already Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: Couldn't even fake it Jimmy: I reckon Cass knew what she was doing Janis: Shoulda known, its within her wheelhouse Janis: Here's me thinking I was special, pfft Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you had the wrong sibling is all Janis: Gayyyyyy Janis: You're not fucking around? Jimmy: Don't be trying to get with your brother yet is what I'm saying Jimmy: Wanna be my girlfriend again then? Janis: Hold up Janis: you said you don't wanna be my mate even Janis: you gotta tell me you were just being moody Janis: why is this always such a headfuck Jimmy: I can't be your mate is what I meant Jimmy: Cause I want more Jimmy: I know I'm a headfuck Jimmy: but that's the truth like Janis: I am too so Janis: its alright Janis: Can we just Janis: At least TRY to say what we mean from now on? just a suggestion Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I don't wanna lose you again through being a dickhead Janis: we both know it was me Janis: i've never talked about it, i don't do that Janis: know it ain't healthy, believe me, and the fam have tried but yeah Janis: its my bad for deflecting it and acting like any of it was on you but that's all i could think to do in the moment Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: I'm as guilty of keeping shit to myself Jimmy: Cass is constantly on at me to talk more Jimmy: I shouldn't have been trying to make you Janis: I dunno, maybe it'd be good to talk about it Janis: least you're not a fucking shrink Janis: or Grace, no offense Janis: but its, well, you know too Janis: we're both fucked, basically then Jimmy: You can try and talk to me Jimmy: Whenever you want and about whatever Jimmy: That's all I was trying to get at when I brought it up Janis: I can see it now Janis: when it happened, everyone just wanted the gossip, like it was no bigger than who kissed who at the disco or something Janis: and Grace thought they actually cared, poured her heart out Janis: I couldn't hack it Janis: It wasn't about you, that I think you're like that, it was knee-jerk, that's all Jimmy: That's shit. I'm sorry Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: Why we moved like, you know Jimmy: Get to be a man of mystery in a new town Janis: Yeah, that makes sense Janis: Did it help? Jimmy: Might've but Cass and Bobby don't know how to leave it there Jimmy: They're just kids Jimmy: All my dad achieved was taking Bob away from everything familiar and Cass from her mates Janis: Understandable, they didn't sign up for this Janis: Or you, really Janis: That's shitty, really Janis: Is your Mum dead, Jim? Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: I can't answer that for you or myself Janis: But she's...gone? Janis: Sorry, I'm just trying to get it so I don't put my foot in it further down the line, like you said, the kids have said some stuff throwaway, stuff that doesn't sound just like a messy divorce even Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: Like it's not, but it's not your fault that it isn't Jimmy: I don't know where she is, or if she's still anywhere Jimmy: That's why it's so pointless him bringing us here, she's not gonna pop up in some Irish pub like Jimmy: If she comes back it's gonna be there, distance from it is the last thing that'll help, that's what we had. Still have Janis: I can only imagine how hard that is Janis: Before Edie died, she went missing for about 8/9 months Janis: and we were just Janis: I think if it'd gone on any longer we'd have lost it Janis: not that her, or your Ma, turning up dead or whatever is ideal but Janis: at least its closure, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: It's 4 more years of nothing before they'll say it Janis: Fuck Janis: That's Janis: well Janis: did she give any hint or did it just happen Janis: like can you even be angry with her, if you knew she'd planned to then you could but what if its not her fault Janis: that's such a headfuck I'm so sorry you all have to have that in your heads Jimmy: Cass is the age I was now Jimmy: I don't know how to feel about it. I want time to move faster, like you said for the closure, but I don't too Jimmy: It's not alright that they won't remember her properly Jimmy: That I can't even with the memories cause I don't know if they're real or if she was faking it herself all along Jimmy: She might never have been happy. She might not have wanted to go. I don't know Jimmy: All I can be is angry, for them if not me Janis: All you've got is second-guessing and what ifs Janis: that's fucking hard to live with Janis: seen it first hand Janis: not the same situations but Janis: shit Janis: I'm- do you wanna stop Janis: I don't want to make you talk and think about it all but no doubt you do regardless 'cos I know I do Jimmy: Maybe talking is better Jimmy: Not saying shit hasn't worked out well for us, has it? Jimmy: And my dad isn't thriving off it either Jimmy: I don't wanna be like him Janis: You're not, couldn't be if you tried Janis: Like, I get it now, why he is how he is, but you're gonna be judged by how you deal in a crisis, that's just facts Janis: and you can't do that to your own kids, man Janis: at least I didn't have nobody to hurt Janis: well, that's a lie but you know, its not like my Ma went off the rails, fuck the rest of us, you know? Jimmy: He never was this bad until everyone else stopped looking Jimmy: Then he got it into his head that she either didn't wanna be found or there was nothing but a body to find Jimmy: If he couldn't keep waiting he just wouldn't think about her at all. Or talk about her either. I dunno Janis: That's just what he needed to finish him off, more abandonment Janis: There's so many possibilities, too many, those are just 2 of Janis: Guess he wanted some certainty? But its just bullshit, and he knows it as much as you do Janis: Get the impulse but Janis: the kids Janis: you Janis: that's your mum Jimmy: Sometimes my head gets full of all these horrible ideas about him Jimmy: That he kicked her out. Or worse Jimmy: That it suits him to pretend she doesn't exist because he feels guilty for what he did. Or doesn't Janis: Fuck, Jim Janis: that's a heavy fucking thought to carry Janis: if it had been that, there'd have to be some indication, surely, that couldn't just come out of nowhere Jimmy: I've never said that out loud before Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: I know it's mad but they used to argue loads Janis: I mean, it happens, and you're not mad for going there Janis: you've had years to ruminate without answers, I get it Janis: but, if there was a body, if that had happened, then you'd know by now, there's no getting away with it these days, right? Jimmy: I know Jimmy: But sometimes I wish that was how it happened 'cause if she's out there, living wherever with whoever why hasn't she reached out? Jimmy: No texts or letters. Birthday cards, christmas presents. Nothing Janis: Yeah Janis: At least explain yourself, you don't just get to leave Janis: nobody should but especially not a parent, like Jimmy: We weren't close but Cass was just a kid and Bob was practically a baby still Jimmy: Maybe they found a body but they don't know it's hers? Jimmy: I think about that too, the state she'd have to be in Janis: She still birthed you all, if nothing else, she owes you all that Janis: Of course you do Janis: What else are you going to do in this situation but search forever, wherever you can Jimmy: I've looked for her so many times Jimmy: I think I see her sometimes, that's really fucked Jimmy: But it's not like that when I'm with you Janis: Again, can only imagine Janis: Like, been there but once you remember they're dead then you know it can't be, so its less head-fucky Janis: I'm really happy that I can do that for you, even for a little while Janis: you deserve a break, just from your own head, you know that, right? Jimmy: I can't let myself think so cause the kids don't get one Jimmy: They dream about her every night Jimmy: When they sleep that is like Janis: They deserve one too Janis: I think you give them that Janis: I honestly do Janis: you can't make it all go away but they're a damn sight better off than if they didn't have you looking out for them Jimmy: You mean that? Janis: Absolutely Janis: I'd say it even if we were still being pricks to each other Janis: they wouldn't begrudge you taking time for you Janis: you'll be better for it, do a better big bro job, yeah? Jimmy: Can we go somewhere Jimmy: far as the budget will take us Janis: Yeah Janis: I don't care where Janis: as long as I can see you Jimmy: I'll throw a dart at the map Jimmy: Until then I can come see you Janis: Please do Janis: Just come straight to the barn, yeah? I'll be waiting Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: How many of your family am I gonna have to get past? Janis: Hopefully none if you do it right Janis: Use your ninja skillz Janis: Laser tag was good practice like Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll think back to our win Jimmy: get it done Janis: Cass shamelessly picked an A team Janis: birthday girl prerogative tho, soz losers Jimmy: good job Jimmy: she's more of a sore loser than you Jimmy: You'd have never got to chat to me over the sounds of her sulking Janis: What a tragedy that woulda been Janis: nice to see your back on top form though boy Jimmy: Take the credit Jimmy: I'm leaving now Janis: Flashback giving me the fear there Janis: ready to shout at you dramatically as you drive away like Jimmy: Meant to say I'm on my way to you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Good Janis: In a bit 🖤

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