#i'm not even close to ready
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wait the global citizen concert is the 23rd đđą
#is jk gonna see yoongs off#ohhhh why am i doing this to myself đđđđąđąđą#it does not get easier#i'm not even close to ready#whyyyyyyy
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IF ANYONE SAID ANYTHING I WILL SHOOT MYSELF AND AT THIS POINT I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING *S(CREAMING) INTENSIFIES*
#you see this girl ready to pull her hair out? yeah that's me right now#if you were to take my brain out you'd find scoups scoups and scoups only#i have been audibly screaming for the entire day#I'm so close to commiting arson and I'm not even being dramatic about it#scoups the man you are#scoups#seventeen#svt
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Are you excited for Malleus to read us all his Fanfiction?
Malleus making a perfect dreamworld for all of us to live in like
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#it's SO CLOSE i can TASTE IT#tastes like delicious angst >:)#and this probably isn't even the RESOLUTION it's just going to end on another MASSIVE CLIFFHANGER and MURDER MY SOUL#i am not ready. i'm not.#on the other hand i am SO READY to meet ortho's puppies!#they have names now! KB-RS01 & 02!#and you can have them in your guest room?! what?! i need to get back into doing that
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(note: this is purely from a character perspective, not a comment on CCs.)
grian and scar have now both been in opposite positions to the original 'cactus ring', and it's so interesting to compare their attitudes to sacrifice on both ends. whether or not scar threw the fight in the cactus ring, he did offer for grian to kill him before it began. grian declined this, but was clearly fighting with the intention to win during the fight itself â he's giving scar a chance, but not sacrificing.
in secret life, scar's on the other end of things. he's fighting another winner â who herself has been sacrificed for previously â and, like grian, is going into what he assumes to be a fair fight... but which is in his favour due to the others' willingness to sacrifice themselves for him. this is a common pattern for winners: in whichever order, they take the win once, and are once willing to sacrifice themselves to let another take it.
cut to wild life.
this time, it's grian in the final two once more, yet again against an â albeit more distant â ally. he's got a win under his belt already, so you might expect him to do what pearl did, what scott did, right? sacrifice their chance at glory to let another taste it for the first time.
and yet:
"I'm going to have to kill Joel"
"Can I win this? I worked so hard on this series, I'd love to win it!"
because here's an important thing about life series!grian: though he's willing to even the playing field, he's not willing to sacrifice â not when it matters. pledge your loyalty to right a wrong, yes; give lives to gain allies hours, yes; refuse others' sacrifices to fight on fair terms, yes. but in the end, no matter how much he wants to stick with friends, no matter how bad he feels about it, no matter how may "i'm so sorry"s he gives â he will put his own life first, in the end.
there's a reason he's the reason for so many of his allies' deaths, after all. and in its contrast, the wild life finale showcases this beautifully.
(and for the record, i don't see anything wrong with this from an out-of-univere perspective â it's been 5 seasons and 3.5 years since Grian's last win, and even if it hadn't been, it's the CCs place to judge fairness, not ours.)
#it would be so SO interesting to add martyn into the mix#(<â probably my most common quote but. he's the brainrot singularity ok)#i don't doubt for a SECOND life series martyn is extremely selfish#(it was so nice to have that recognised after limlife â even if it arguably did get worse over time)#(cue cc!martyn's 'ren's death permanently made martyn more selfish after 3rd life')#but the thing is â does the win even mean much to him anymore?#he was so ready to take the crown he was so ready to end it all#and yet#next series he's right back. everything starts as normal. nothing changed#does it even matter anymore? is there a point? to me it's no coincidence he's started placing lower afterwards#(before it was 6th (last member of dogwarts to fall in 3rd life despite being on the losing side of the war) 3rd 3rd 1st)#there's no way he has of knowing his fragment was repaired by a listener â he has no idea what fragments even are + is unconscious in the-#-void + has NO idea watchers and listeners are even at play!#(that's sth there's often confusion around â he's NOT a listener in his lore! he's not on a similar playing fieldl! and though the watchers#did reveal themselves at the end of last life/ that was wiped from c!martyn's memory as he went into the light (lore stream)#he's a regular confused traumatised person whose changed for the worse over the death games whom the watchers dislike after evo#who just wants things to be over with...)#anyway this to say#though if he WANTED to get to the end i'm SURE he wouldn't sacrifice himself (c!martyn at least â it's still relatively close to the win so#-not sure abt cc!martyn)#...does he actually want to?#anyway martyn ramble over#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#3rd life smp#secret life smp#grian#goodtimeswithscar gtws#trafficblr#double life smp
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good omens as a tragedy (crowley got his slutty little waist grabbed only once when he was too high off laudanum to properly notice and next off he went to superhell)
#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziraphale x crowley#aziraphale#good omens s2#crowley#good omens 1827#i know where i'm going#good omens edinburgh#good omens shitpost#good omens brainrot#okayyy but i'm having real feelings about the difference in their remembrance of this moment#aziraphale must have written at least 5 pages worth of top secret diary entries depicting the feeling. we just didn't see it#he's never given crowley a hug before! it was a novel moment!! and he was entirely present and worried and so so fond and flirty even#absolutely ready to take care of crowley. for however long it'd take for the poison to wear off#including holding him close.#what would happen if Hell didn't notice? how would the night go?#*disintegrates into thin air*#marcela talks
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I'm really just Feeling Things tonight about the conversation with Gale after Elminster's visit and like. Gale is So Insistent that if Mystra says he needs to blow himself up, then it must be the best option. The only option. And of course he is! Because what's the alternative? If there's another way, any other way, that means either
1. Mystra doesn't care enough to consider whether there might be another option. Gale blowing himself up is the easiest solution, so that's what she goes with. Or, even worse,
2. She does know there's other options, but tells him to sacrifice himself anyways, because it gets rid of two of her problems at once.
Gale doesn't just assume she's right because she's a goddess. He goes along with it because of what it implies about him, and her, and how she sees him if there is another way. He has to believe that this is the only option. Because the alternative? That he's disposable at best and actively unwanted at worst? That's just too much to bear.
#bg3#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#meta#i'm sure this is nothing that hasn't been said before but like. goddamn i've just been thinking about it and it hurts my soul#and tbh i feel like the fact that everyone else in camp is like 'that's a stupid idea we're not doing that' really drives the point home#even elminster has that line about how 'even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will'#which is as close as you can reasonably expect him to get to outright agreeing that yeah this is shit and you should look for other options#but at that point gale is the one person who can't imagine that there's another way. can't stomach the thought#because it would mean some things he's really not ready to face yet#i'm like. banging my head against a wall the writing is So Good and it makes me So Sad
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I was in Necropolis with Emmrich and the gang and i swear he yelled IS EVERYBODY TUCKED? and my Rook did a fucking cartwheel and i yelled back BOOTS THE HOUSE DOWN, MAMA! That's it, that's the whole story.
#i love him he is so catwalk ready#and yes i'm astonishingly slow i've literally sat down for my first government assigned 2 hours of gaming a month#im not even kidding ive been so busy#emmrich volkarin#datv#idk what he actually said but it sounded awfully close
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Requestober 2024 Sketches
The playlist is...well, it will be posting very soon! Keep an eye out for your req(s) every Wednesday and/or Friday after the 6th (I think?), pretty sure I got âem all >:3c
Doing the full season this time around! The entire mixed bag oâ candy haha
Day 1 had my beautiful boys!! â„ Iâm so happy that Yanderapy took the lead this year ah! Itâs too bad Iâm so out of practice with them haha, unconfident lines, but the idea was solidly in place from the word go - this was really the only image that came to mind for them, their weird dynamic hehe <3 Made for each other! I am glad their expressions came together so well in the final version, though I didnât get to show Micchan kneeling! Thatâs alright tho âȘ Cute enough here hehe
Day 2 got a lot of notes! Kabuâs clothing design is So complex lol, just toss him behind Larry whoâs like second nature to draw, suits are so so simple in comparison haha âȘ Still only ended up hiding bits of him! He did end up with his shoe on the outside of Larryâs, boxing him in that little bit <3 And look! His smirk!! As well as the âhiraganaâ on his sleeves while I was still under the impression that it was text and not Flame Texture lol
And yes, as you can see, I ended up going with the alt doodle, they got more! I was quite tempted by Larry holding Kabu since heâs so tiny lol, but that wouldâve required drawing his details! No! Hide him!! The pose is fun and silly and cute tho haha, very plush-coded âȘ And then also a little smech for funsies <3 Just to follow up their staring-at-each-other-in-a-gay-way they ended up with â„ Rather a fan of Kabuâs hands pulling Larry in :)
Day 3âČs was such a pose change!!! Mostly for Edgar, though heâs still kneeling here, inexplicably haha - the angle changed for the final version, and both of their head angles and just, ah, nothing more than a general outline of what I was going for. Iâm pleased with both tho! I think the final is much more clear and readable, but thereâs always a bit of fun with Edgar looking down/Scriabin looking up haha. I suppose itâs more appropriate than an angel would be looking down on a devil, isnât it? Haha
Day 4 was another easy one at least, the pose immediately came to mind to show off Nnyâs clothes on an even ganglier, thinner frame haha. Like I said, I really tried for more fullbodies this year, so I had to give the tiny version a proper swing on-page! Ran out of room for the larger one, but I really wanted to draw him holding his shoe with his hand haha. You can see the goopmonster on his shirt here too! :D I think his annoyed face is quite cute hehe <3
Day 5 was practically a freebie, and I took absolute full advantage hehehe âȘ If I get the prompt of âsoftâ of course Iâm going to opt for plushies! Iâm back in my Webkinz era, and Tala is big big big on Webkinz as well :) And her being a plushie has something of an impact there too lol, but it was really fun to look over all my little guys! I ended up having an extra handful of thoughts about all of them so theyâll be getting their own post(s) :D Good too, since I didnât talk much about Embroideryâs closet cosplay haha
Day 6 was actually a bit of a question mark for me at first! :0 Not as though I donât love when Edgar has to clean up Scriabinâs self-inflicted problems haha, I just wasnât sure what it should be! Making it seasonal helped a bit there - lots of sticker burrs around here when we go walking haha. The bonus ended up being a digital-only, but it was a good motivator to finish these, and then the full poses came to mind - Iâm not sure why I was more excited to work on full body poses, but I really was! Maybe the success of meeting my self-imposed challenge haha
I ended up scrapping the alt since it reminded me a little too much of one of the â22 reqs - trying to keep things fairly fresh! It was also a little too cartoony haha, where would Edgar suddenly pull such strength from! This doesnât look like a dream! At least it wouldnât have been a nightmare of Scriabin being hurt :â) Rescue!
Day 7 was another insta-idea! Really going back and forth on those lol, it sprouted into my head fully formed! This was actually one of a couple I wrote down as I was away from my notebook while brainstorming, so it came back as a mini script; one of more dialogue-heavy ones! Chicken or egg, I wonder, hmm. I always draw Smoker with her sleeves up even though she usually wears them down haha, I dunno. Had a heck of a time with Angieâs hair! I tend to make hair super super fluffy but hers is long and straight and presumably weighs itself down! Doesnât floof! Youâd think having heavy hair myself would incline me towards knowing anything about it but nope lol
Little bouncy concepts haha, and poor Mousey so jealous in the middle, surrounded with them having the most fun!
Day 8 was fairly simple with such a focused ask of them eating Specific Food - can do! Chibis just felt right for such a cute food haha. Would Edgar have a crepe pan, I wonder... I suppose a lot of it comes down to the batter, I havenât made crepes in such a long time so I wouldnât know anymore haha
Day 9 featured the slouchy throne! You can see I like the little leggies haha, I did make it a touch more proportional in the final version but who can resist the sillies! Had to draw it and Mettaton separately so I could easily see their silhouettes, I think it all came together in the end fairly well :) Had one heck of a time getting the bottom of his shoes to play nice, but Iâm proud of how it turned out!!
Day 10âČs, who can resist skelehugs â„ No I! Not me!! The original had them a lot more upright, Iâm glad I went with my note of leaning them back a bit more. Also had Papyrusâ legs on either side of Sans, protective <3 I do like both, but I think they look a bit more reasonably comfortable in the final version, figuring out contact points with one of Papyrusâ legs all the way to one side was too much haha. No boots on the couch! I think they look a bit younger in the final version too, maybe from their eyebrow expressions? Interesting how such small changes can make a big difference âȘ
Day 11 was originally going to feature a bunch more Pokemon!! Several of my pink-and-purple faves all gathered around MewTwo <3 Flaafy and Musharna and Sableye my beloved đ And of course Whismur!! Canât but Whismur all the time haha, but in the end I opted to go for the simpler(?) option of just the two âmons interacting
Whismur is so spooked by you, even lying down!! Even tho I drew it so I can see it right in front of me, I just canât imagine MewTwo lying down to investigate haha. More posing changes! Lot of âem this year. Pls to quiet, cats have very sensitive hearing, you donât need to shout
Day 12 started off with probably the Correct Amount of confusion lol, considering even @cutiebetutieâ didnât expect this to be the matchup lolol, still deeply hilarious to me. But hey, what was I going to do, question a crackship?? Do I look like the kind of person who would say no to exploring some possibilities? Of course I had to give them a scope lol
Haha, âAltâ in quotes as I knew this would actually be the full version, the handholding is cute but whereâs the dynamic! There is something there after all! I think so anyway, some tiny tiny sliver that they could start from, and what more foot in the door do you really need? If Nnyâs on his charm that drew Devi in, I donât see why someone a little more airheaded like Jake couldnât be beguiled haha, if he lasts long enough for that âȘ Itâs very tense! I wish him well, I wonder if he could protect himself... Just cut and run, Jake!! Makes for an interesting suspense, thatâs for sure haha
Day 13âs kigurumis!!! Yay!!!! Smol and I successfully wore ours for Halloween this year, weâre them fr fr haha, definitely one of my favourites from this season <3 <3 Theyâre so cute! Biggest change from here to there is probably where the legs start/end haha, kigurumi have funny little legs hehe. And also Papyrusâ gloves! Sans ended up without any, I canât resist a hand plate here or there âȘ Also him closing his one good eye to pun about was an accident until it wasnât haha, just another excuse to do a touch of rereading :3
Day 14âs turned out so good for how cramped the sketch was!!! Gasterâs hardly there at all! Which is appropriate in its own way haha, filling in the rest of his details was pretty fun tho :) Papyrus looks a lot more desperate in this version which I do like, but him openly enjoying himself is very sweet, who could deny him that <3 Quite pleased with how his arm and hand posing came together in the end as well, fairly minor changes but I think it all flows together much nicer :D
Day 15âČs word bubbles turned out way cleaner in the sketch than the final version?? Calls for more practice I suppose; it is asymmetrical, but it does look nice! Maybe needed more colour swatches haha, more and more rows! Edgarâs unimpressed look in the final version is quite good I think but thereâs almost a kind of urgency with no eyes behind blank glasses hmm, they both have their merits! I applaud everyone who caught Scriabin holding the bi flag as his swatches! :D Good eye!
Day 16 began The Sleepies lol, I was a bit tired while doodling the first go and it uhm. Well. I mean. You can see lol. Sâa bit goofy haha
The alt was much much better! I did end up leaving out the grass which Iâm a Little disappointed about - feels too manicured, too sterile in the final version! But I really couldnât figure a way of adding a bit of visual noise that wouldnât look flat as well! Minecraft, eh, lol. I am quite pleased with how round Moomin turned out tho :D He looks like a marshmallow in the final version! Yay!
I actually doodled Day 17âČs concept before 16 since it came to me so strongly - I do kind of like how much more upright Mob is here, him being as hunched over as he is in the final version adds to the moodiness of the piece I feel. He really is such a good boy! I donât wish him dark and upsettings!
Day 18âs didnât get a paper sketch as I was verrryyyyy tired and had no energy to scan, so skipped the step that would make scanning necessary haha. For all that, I do rather like the digital sketch tho! I think Snufkinâs left leg is a bit better proportioned, and his expression is maybe a bit cheekier? Moominâs perfect, no notes haha. I also ended up really liking their tail expressions, how Snufâs is kind of straight and flat while Moominâs is very roundy hehe <3
I know I said Day 20 doesnât count but I mean, itâs on the same page! It got the âDay 20âł label! Sketch can go here why not haha. Happy belated Ace Week! I thought it was fun to put a bunch of pink lovehearts around the big central ace heart for me specifically hehe đđ
I mentioned in the tags that Day 26âs original concept was too big to try to do all at once and ahhhh I wish Iâd been able to swing it!! I wish Iâd been able to do the whole thing!!!! I love scenes like this the most!! Little isometric rooms with little isometric characters all chatting and interacting and being cute and silly and tiny!! I love that! Alas, it had to stay a sketch, but here it is!! Can you recognize everyone here? The main three got the center, but who could the rest be :3c And what of their costumes! Hehe âȘ
Still fighting back the sleepies for what ended up being the final version so the dialogue was left much more vague than the caption haha, the aliens donât even have feet here! I suppose they are meant to be in fish costumes lol, it tracks that only the fully-human Captainâs legs would end there, but definitely not intentionally done so lol. I like ZEXâs expression here so muuuuch ahh I wish Iâd been able to capture it a bit better in the digital version! Always something for next time haha
I actually ended up drawing Day 30âČs sketch very very last, so this was the last doodle of the season! Me, projecting my tiredness onto the Vargases? Nooo <3 Another one that ended up very very different from the final version, I just needed Something down to paper and out of my head to work with really - I knew even while drawing this that I was going to end up with something very different haha. Sometimes hand just does whatever it wants pft. The dialogue was the star of the show here! And you can see what Scriabin was up to, obscured by the couch haha
Day 31, penultimate sketches for the final day! I really do love Scriabin hiding behind Edgar - wants to be included but not That close, very much with Edgar in the way of anything bad happening to him haha. More pose changes! I like both versions, Todd holding Shmee for comfort or him spilling out of his lap as he focuses all his attention on Joel <3 Both cute in different ways!
Cats are still not one of my strong-suits, but I have been drawing them a bit more recently! Admittedly of the cartoon variety, but even that has had some effect I think! Like their little triangle noses, and the way their ears scoop inwards, and whiskers - little things! I like it! I had fun with these little concept poses, Joel kind of curiously huddling on Edgarâs chest, looking at the world from a safe vantage spot haha. Hold him gently! He deserves it!
All the sketches from this year! I ended up having a lot of fun this season even if it was a little lighter than previous years haha, thank you again to everyone who joined!! â„
#Doodles#Requestober#Oh hey there wasn't any blood this year was there! How unusual haha#Here we go tag roundup - Yanderapy hehe <3 - Pokemon (both 'mons and canon characters!) - Vargas of course - Handplates â„ - Webkinz :D -#RespectAWoman! Yeah!! Their first digitals whoo! - Undertale non-AU haha - Moomins and Minecraft - MP100 - Damned! So happy to have one â„#I really wasn't sure if I was gonna get one! I spent so much time thinking about Damned this year ahhh <3 <3 Niche of a niche but delight âȘ#A very fun spread this year - as is every year haha but it's always fun to see which ones are new and which ones return!#Much higher proportion of Handplates this year :D Not surprised there considering how the year started haha âȘ#Always happy to draw those lads <3 They're a delight#And as usual my focus tends to drift towards whatever the req is so I've found myself doing some rereading all over! Which is quite fun :D#Still holding off on Vargas for the time being but everything else got some attention which was very enjoyable ahh#Being caught up has its perks - like reading new things hehe âȘ#It does feel funny to have Vargas stuff in a sketchdump when I've still got the VLH-specific sketchdump in the backlog.... Remind me lol#Still lol for as much fun of a season as it was I am ready for it to come to a close haha#And luckily this didn't break even once so I'm getting my ask without a fuss!! Yes!!!#Tired!! Ready to take a short break!!! And it really will be short since I want to start up again at the beginning of next week lol#But I get my break!!! I definitely feel like I've earned it haha#And then it'll be back to doodling and editing and writing ahhhh - plenty of other things I'm looking forward to!!!#Thanks again for such a fun season <3 Couldn't do it without you hehe
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Ter stop talking over and making decisions for Dee challenge 2k24. Y'all ain't even friends at this point you're just the annoying coworker go away
#wandee goodday#wandee goodday the series#wandee goodday series#listen listen listen#i am glad that ter is starting to realize things about himself#i'm glad he's starting to embrace his feelings#howmstever he needs to do that in a way where he is able to give up some control#he cannot control dee's actions or responses#he needs to communicate with dee not make decisions for him#ter and dee do not mesh because dee is super competitive about silly little things#and he doesn't like being told what to do. he likes gentle nudging and he also likes his boundaries#yak still hasn't kissed him despite both of them knowing how bad yak wants to#ter extended their japan trip without talking to dee and then tried to kiss him not even knowing how dee feels about being kissed#dee hasn't had a chance to explain#and even before he had a chance to explain with yak#yak wasn't kissing him. yak was operating strictly off of body language and managed to not kiss dee#then he asked about it in a non-judgemental way and dee felt comfortable enough to tell him#and yak said got it boss. you know i want to kiss you but this is a boundary that we will not cross#until we are ready and willing to cross it together#yes yak has pushed a bit because he wants it but he always goes slow enough and gives dee enough space to back out before they kiss#which dee does#and he will back out until he doesn't#but that's the difference between ter and yak#dee was closed in and didn't have a lot of options to avoid the kiss if it hadn't been interrupted#i don't doubt dee would have managed to avoid it but ter blocked off a lot of opportunities to leave#yak leaves space for dee to leave if he wants to#ter is controlling and yak is freeing#and that is why dee was able to fall for yak after 8 years of pining for ter#he is free from the feelings that were controlling him#and now he can move on and be happy with someone who truly understands him
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Sole Survivor Headcanon
Kind of OC based but it's also vague (Although Minutemen leaning) so like. If your Sole wasn't a soldier or lawyer. Or anything. Just a skill-less bastard. You might like this. Enjoy.
Sole being trusted by so many factions just for breathing is so funny actually. Like they deadass crawl out of a cave, freshly traumatised, and told they're a General? Because they helped someone? Cool, yeah, sure, uh-huh. That's a great amount of pressure to handle on top of their circumstances.
I like to think that everyone also assumes they're insanely clever. It's not that Sole isn't, per se, but everyone treats them like a genius. A prodigy. People have told Sole they understand why Preston trusted them so much because the Commonwealth 'needs their level of knowledge and intelligence to get better'. To which Sole is always bewildered, because their 'extensive level of knowledge' is just. High school level. Basic science lessons.
They know about evolution and stem cells and stuff. They know how disease and antibodies work. They're praised for changing people's opinions on vaccination when, with the help of Curie, they start a campaign to bring back vaccines. Their goal was to fight the viruses that had been brought back from near extinction from 200+ years of no healthcare system, no scientists and doctors to cure them. A tilt back in the direction of accessible Pre-War healthcare.
Sole knows history. They know what to watch out for, how to spot tension between factions. They know how to avoid more war, lessons learned from textbooks and late nights with post-it notes. They know how to piece together a scale and pin point the tipping point to stop it before shit goes down because they did a project about it on a WW1 assignment. The Great War. The irony is not lost on Sole when they contemplate that name for too long.
They're decent at Maths. Decent enough to make sure the caps and donations to the Minutemen are being put to good use. To make sure the book keeping is up to code and every cap is accounted for, and what it should be put towards. Like trying to bring back vaccines from 200 years ago. Negotiating with Vault 81 to let Curie use the old lab there goes way more smoothly when they've got the caps to make a worthy case for the cause.
Sole knows why people assume their mind is unmatched, though. In a way it is, sort of, they suppose. Since education is rare in the Post-War world, and even then it's not at the level it was Pre-War, Sole just seems smart. Everyone thinks they are.
Sole never knows how to handle it.
Are they complicit for letting people believe they're a genius? Should they keep up the charade so people listen to them? The thought keeps them up at night. Preston laughs at them for it.
MacCready reminds them of the many times they looked like a dumbass in every other circumstance where they lacked knowledge. 210 years of missing out on General Wolrd Stuff will do that to ya. It's not necessarily their fault, but he still likes to drag them for the time they got food poisoning because they didn't realise some of the new plants had to be cooked before consumption.
Every time someone acts in awe of Sole's intelligence, MacCready snickers because he was there in the early days. Sole had hired him to watch their back. Soon enough he became their mentor on how to shoot a gun properly. How to maintain it. What to eat, what not to eat, what to definetly not eat. How to make sure mole rat meat is 100% cooked. How to safely remove as much radiation as possible from water and food when you have only basic supplies. He would never think Sole is stupid. They know a lot compared to most people, but learning how to survive and knowing how to count are very different types of knowledge. No, he'd never think they're stupid. But he definetly humbles them, which Sole is actually happy about. He still affectionately calls them an idiot and reminds them of the time they tripped over their own laces, alerting the radstag they were hunting of their presence. And the food poisoning thing. And the incident with the bucket. And when they almost touched a deadly plant because they thought it would look nice in a vase they found.
Thing is, Preston taught them basics of how to shoot and fight before they left Sanctuary. MacCready picked up the workload when he met Sole and realised they'd likely get them both killed if he didn't. Cait showed them hand to hand combat and lockpicking. Everyone at some point taught Sole something. So Sole goes red from embarrassment when being complimented on their mind, because they know they're gonna get an earful from their friends later. Affectionately bullied. You know Deacon has some blackmail level information from the months he followed them. They all sit at Sole's kitchen counter and share stories of Sole's embarrassing misadventures over breakfast. That's just what a family does.
#Sole Survivor#Preston Garvey#Robert Joseph MacCready#MacCready#Cait#The companions all (Within reason) move to Sanctuary and basically live together agenda#Seperate houses but they all go to Sole's kitchen for breakfast eveey morning.#Sole doesn't know how they keep getting in. They're there before Sole is even awake. Codsworth always has their drinks ready#I'm pushing my 'As much as they say theh hate each other all of the comps secretly love each other or do eventually'#Looking at you Danse#They're a family baby. Their the equivalent of Millennials and Gen Z not being able to afford homes in their economy#So people live with their best friends instead#Sanctuary is just a commune for all of Sole's friends and found family#'It takes a village'. Duncan and Shaun literally have a village. So many aunts and uncles bro#I love thinking about everyone being close. They're like pack animals. Mess with one and. You have at least 10 people hunting you#This deserves it's own post tbh#I wanna make a companions headcanon post based on them as a found family#Fallout#Fallout 4#Deacon
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almost came out to my sister today except she was on speakerphone with her husband so that did NOT happen lmao
#nothing against my BIL i just. want to keep it to the people i trust most in my family for now.#of all my immediate family she's the one i trust the most. completely 100%. oldest brother is a close second.#i think i do want to come out to them in the near future. haven't really figured out what i'm gonna say to them though.#hgrhghh.#winter speaks#personal#and i have to figure out what im going to say to the family At Large too..........................SIGH.#i dont even know if i want to come out to the whole family because i know some of them are republicans but i dont know which ones#bc there's a strict ''no talking about politics'' rule at every single gathering for as long as i can remember. lmao.#so i have no idea which family members will grudgingly tolerate me and which ones want me euthanized lmaooooooo#i don't even. really Want to come out to the whole family honestly. but i don't know how much of a long term solution that is.#whatever. im not gonna worry about all that rn bc i have to worry about how im gonna tell my siblings.#and i trust that they wont tell the rest of the family about it until im ready for it but i should probably be prepared just in case they d#because with my wonderful beautiful loving family you can never ever fucking tell :) <3#im very sure about my brother and sister tho.#whatever. its midnight i should not be thinking about stuff like this#but idk i was literally planning on coming out to her today but she just had a baby so she had the phone on speaker while she and#her husband were taking care of him/my older nephew#next time i guess.
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with all these gaston crackships/rarepairs that are coming out lately it would be so fucking funny if he had a flig with all the main characters (ambar, nina, simon... hell luna too if you want) and they all know it except matteo
#mf would feel so betrayed once he finds out#and not because he's jealous or anything - or maybe yes (they kinda have a vibe between them if you get what i mean)#mainly because his best friend didn't tell him#gaston would 100% use âyou didn't askâ with a shit-eating grin while shrugging his shoulder#he would have the time of his life making fun of matteo reaction lol#and matteo would also lowkey be insecure (understandable because gaston was probably a better boyfriend for all those people [real])#[from here on i'm gonna yap but like... YAP - get ready]#type of flings/situationships/whatever i think he had:#LUNA/GASTON : [barely a fling/ a kinda relationship (?)] - them just trying it out for the hell of it#they had a lot of fun and it strengthened their friendship#they never talk about it unless they're sure that they're by themselves#gaston sometimes reminiscences about it in front of others(to make luna panic/embarass)but in such a vague enough way that they don't get i#it always comes off as them play-fighting#it either happened before he and nina got together (which is what i'm running with for this post) or they did it after she left#because they were the closest to her and were the only people that could understand what it meant to lose nina#(luna also dated her in the past by this point)#GASTON/NINA: [literally canon and one of the main ships] so i don't have to explain it i guess#GASTON/SIMON: [was a âthey were all in their feelingsâ during those moments - kind of deal]#that scene i reposted the other day is a good way to pinpoint when they started to actually eye eachothers /put a start to what they had#it ended two or three months later - don't know who put an end to it between them#but it wasn't a problem because they both had something else they wanted to focus on more - they're extremely chill about this#GASTON/AMBAR: [kinda the same - got to know eachother when they were kids and became extremely close (even tho it took A BIT since#even if gaston came from a good family ambar was still as standoffish as now (and also a bit shy even if she wouldn't admit it)]#gaston was the one that did the first step#at that point ambar actually never stopped to think about dating in general but especially him#but the idea of losing him as a friend for something so stupid as a relationship terrified her#he reassured her that whatever happened nothing between them would've changed#which was real but also not really#they ended up breaking up a year and a half later and became a bit awkward around eachothers for a bit (mostly because of ambar)#they're still cordial with eachothers
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#can't even begin to tell you how much I've wanted to kill myself today#sorry i should probably tw that or something but. look I'm..... im out of it i can't even think of a metaphor#'I'm close to the last bits of me that exist' except ive long ago past that point#there's nothing left. im in the void. frankly death would be a mercy i do not believe myself worthy of#this place is a mess. I've dropped every ball i had in the air and i can see the concrete base of the ones falling#aimed straight at my face ready to pulverize me to dust.#.....I'm still going i guess. but what for#i managed to ask for help. i started bawling the instant someone replied and i haven't stopped feeling guilty since.#husk doesn't even begin to describe how empty i am#...........pretend i said something poignant to end this one off#...don't worry i won't kill myself and etc its. it's fine. I'm just gonna keep suffering like always#eventually something will kill me. i hope.
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DEITIES Update â 2023 â 2024 New Yearâs Edition
Happy New Year Everyone!
Typically I would write a formal blog post for my end-of-year update, but I'm writing something on the fly for the sake of timeliness âš
I wish I could say I completed most of what I wanted in the year 2023, as I had several goals I thought were feasible. However, some of those goals had to be placed aside for a very sudden but fortuitous reason, that I feel worth sharing with ya'll -- which is that Iiiiiiii bought my first house! đ„čđ„čđ„č
(As you can imagine, this took quite a bit of my energy and time this past year, thus explaining part of my absence -- more details regarding my activity under the cut!)
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From early August thru the end of December, my home-searching and closing process was incredibly long, stressful, exhausting, expensive (lmao), and time-inducing. I'm thankful to have had support from my agent, and well as my friends and family while navigating this ordeal, and I'm in the process of moving my items and services into my new home during the remainder of my apartment lease.
This home search combined with my full-time work, was a major reason why took a partial break from social media, and semi-hiatus from new art. This also affected my frequency of updating the DEITIES website and blog -- at least, on the front end. I did a lot of backend work and completed a major to-do with migrating the website and giving it a new primary domain -- so now, both deitiesofduat.com AND deitiesproject.com will redirect to the website. đ
For the most part though, I used the 2nd half of 2023 to focus on some major life decisions, and leading into early 2024 Iâm aiming to give myself a bit of a lifestyle reset. It's going to take some time to settle into this new normal, so aside from occasional media posts I'll continue to be quiet a bit longer. Once I complete some key home-owning goals and attempt to recharge, I'll aim to resume the goals I had in mind for DEITIES Project and my personal art, as well as engaging with my audience more (I miss interacting with ya'll, aha đ).
In the meantime, thank you all for you continued patience and support! Despite being offline more-than-not this past year, I really appreciate the continue interest you all have in this project. DEITIES remains so important to me even with my shift in scope, so I'll do what I can to put iterate on it and give it all my effort when I have more bandwidth. Until then, wishing you all the very best in 2024!
#//Â So yeahhhhhh buying a house + committing to a mortgage >> Not necessarily on my 2023 bingo card but it sure did happen#// I waited till now to mention anything cuz the thing is nothing is certain until closing day; I wanted to make sure I got my keys lmaoooo#// Also shout out to real estate agents -- 100% would recommend for the sake of organizing the copious amount of paperwork#// That said I've dealt with so many deadlines and contracts and packing and utility-switching and I'm quite ready to wrap it up soon#// 2023 had a lot of ups and downs for me though ngl but I hope it treated you all well -- and I hope you have an even better year in 2024#DEITIES Project#DEITIES updates#DEITIES text
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my classmates will go thru 6 hours of class the day after a long excursion through the countryside and then just get up and go run around in town for hours going to movies and shopping and whatever and I'm just sitting here like Aren't you all exhausted . Aren't you all sore and pained. Where are you getting this energy. Can we calm down
#if nothing else this trip has really opened my eyes to how much chronic pain/fatigue does impact my life compared to others#i dunno I guess I just never really noticed. but I just don't have the energy other people do. Not even close. Not even a little bit#I go through a day of class and relish in the thought of spending the rest of my day resting because the agony in my legs#and the unbearable tiredness I feel just beckons me to collapse into bed#but everyone else is just so . energized. and ready to explore. and wanting to run all over the place and do 1 million things all the time#and this is normal? this is how normal people are? Because I'm the only one out of my entire class who seems to be the opposite#everyone just has so much energy. and I Do Not have that energy. I had to stand for most of the past three hours and it's taken me out#for the day i'll be honest. but everyone else just seems so undaunted#and it sucks because i'd love to hang out with these people and join them and whatever but when I do force myself along i'm just so tired#and so pained that all my responses are either dry or i don't say anything at all. i'm just completely out of spoons but I hang on because#i Hate the feeling of being left behind#oh well. eye-opening experience I guess#vent#<- it became that so yeah I'm tagging it#clamtalk#and also? my bee sting? IT ITCHES. Who was going to tell me it'd do that. What the Fuck Man
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I think that Donna Troy and Garth/Tempest should have their kids restored to main continuity (maybe at the age they were last seen pre-52 bc I know they??? Died?????) both bc it'd be nice for those two to get closure/second chances at parenthood but ALSO
Because I think it'd be funny if Dick Grayson. "chronic over achiever used to being labeled the defacto Most Adult of all his teen associates" was in his late 20s surrounded by friends who are all (mostly) either married or separated with kids (some of whom are teenagers due to time shenanigans) meanwhile he's got like. A dog
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#back to back Dick Grayson posts.. who have i become??#titans#i just think it'd be funny#CRUCIALLY i do not think this should play into dick being incompetent. he's occasionally a moderate goofball but he's got it together-#-on every front except his personal life#some of his close friends have been married and/or divorced? he JUST got out of the situationship phase w/ babs as of a year ago#WHICH ISN'T TO SAY YOU MUST HAVE KIDS AND A SPOUSE BY YOUR LATE TWENTIES OR ANYTHING#i just think it'd be a fun little look into the different stages ppl are at in their 20s/30s like#Roy is a single dad and has been since he was about 19/20 (iirc? correct me if wrong). wallys married w/ three kids. donnas been divorced#i just think you'd get an interesting story out of it. maybe#plus i do think that married w/ kids is something that dick wants for himself eventually. family is very important to him#but also I'm picturing him being surrounded by his friends w/ babies all the time and being struck with baby fever#babs is NOT on board she is nowhere near ready for parenting if she'll ever even be. take that energy 10000 miles away from her#dick breaking down in the grocery store bc baby socks are too cute and small and babs pretending she doesn't know him#dick: i want a baby#babs: well I don't want to get pregnant#dick (forgetting you can adopt kids in a non trauma bond way): <:'(
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