#i'm not drawing anything out completely because all things are possible through the power of kojima
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ashkav · 6 months ago
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(About your post about the relationship between Sam and Amelie/Bridget) GOD, RIGHT?! The relationship between them is insane and so complex, I really wish that it will be explored in DS2. Can you imagine being raised by this like, goddess of destruction and extinction and not knowing about it, and then finding out that you have to be the one to kill her to save humanity, all the people you've just started to develop relationships with, to provide a good world for your daughter, but... That's still your mom. That's your sister who comforted you when you were a scared child.
I think that Amelie is such a fascinating character, because she's so hard to pinpoint- she offset the balance of the whole world to save a child she accidentally killed in the process of developing a way to save humanity and decided to raise that child both to atone and provide Sam with the best life she could after killing her parents, but ALSO as a human killswitch that will be forced into talking her out of wiping all life on Earth, which is such a huge responsibility for ANYONE, and Sam didn't even consent to do that! You can make compelling arguments for both "she's a monster" and "she meant well".
I feel like she's almost kinda outside of human morality in some way, because, well, can she even be considered "human"? I think that yeah, kinda, but the burden she was forced to bear warps her, in a way, to the point where she cannot be fully seen throught the conventional spectrum of human morality. I mean of course, her using Homo Demens to kill tens of thousands of people is undeniably an evil act, but when you look at her as someone who is pretty much biologically destined to wipe out at least millions of people (given that the post-Stranding population numbers are much smaller), you can see how she would see that number as pretty much nothing in a cosmic scale. Not that it justifies it but you know, optics.
And she's this godlike being who has a very close relationship with this one paticular human, her favorite out of all people in the world, one who she raised since infancy and manipulated on a molecular scale (like you've said). She has done so much harm to him, irreversably warped him to the very core, but she undeniably loves him. Sam's her baby, her little brother she comforted and looked after- this god of destruction still shows a human side. She has absolutely traumatized Sam and she clearly feels guilty about it, but she probably thought that it had to be done, to give millions of humans a potential chance. Just as the BBs are used as sacrifices for the chiral network, Sam (a former BB at that) was used as one both for the network and humanity.
I love that the trailer of DS2 (the first one) has the dreamcatcher hanging off the celling as one of the first visuals we see. I REALLY hope that the aftermath of Sam's relationship and goodbye with Amelie will be one of the main themes of the game- and I think that a compelling argument can be made for Amelie "putting a piece of her soul" into Lou at the end of DS1, but I don't want to bore you 😅
(Sorry for yapping, but I'm going through death stranding withdrawials and this post scratched an itch. I adore talking about the lore and themes of this game, even if it is often overlooked 😅)
ohghug thank you so much for the big long ask im dying to talk about this too and you have given me so many things to respond to and build off of. i will literally never be bored of DS analysis.
i also hope she is directly in DS2! i think its pretty much confirmed she'll be there at the very least in a 'haunting the narrative' kind of way considering Higgs seems to be leading a cult with her as their messianic (?) figure, but Sam deserves some sort of resolution that isn't a desperate goodbye on the beach. i personally need him to have a screaming crying confrontation with her able to RESPOND to everything she's done. like you say, Sam must have the most complicated and tangled feelings about Amelie bottled up inside him and he deserves the chance to get some closure on at least some of it beyond 'your sister-mom doomed herself to her own personal hell to save you specifically and coincidentally also the rest of humanity, and her final act was to bring your baby back to life.'
i want to hear more from Amelie so bad. how does she justify herself? how does she consider her own morality in the grand scheme of things? what we do know from the first game is extremely interesting but even her relationship with Sam, the one thing the game spends so much time establishing and drawing upon for Amelie's reasoning, is so thin for most of his childhood! i want to know so much about the intricacies of how she ticks, how she justifies what she does to literally the one person she loves most in the whole wide world! it's not completely unjustifiable, just the same as it isn't completely justifiable, but i'm so so curious as to what angle she uses to approach this moral problem.
and i completely agree that she probably isn't even on human morality levels, but does Amelie think herself beyond it? what are the implications if she believes herself to be condemned by most human morality spectrums? does she even care? if she was asked, would she lie? i mean, she's a politician, so she must think about these things. as you said, optics, but is she so far removed from humanity to fundamentally misunderstand just how deplorable her actions might seem to others. even when she's rushing through justifying herself to Sam, it's not particularly... strong. it weak because she genuinely doesn't see a need to justify it further, she doesn't know how to be any more convincing than that, or because she wants Sam to judge her as harshly as possible so he'll agree to be the trigger to her very elaborate assisted suicide?
and it's interesting you bring up biological destiny, because i was literally just thinking about the conspicuous lack of Bridget's parents. obviously, Amelie is formed by spiritual mitosis and not really birthed, but Bridget never once mentions her own parents or her own childhood even as she spends so much time discussing Sam's and her own parental role. people usually draw on knowledge of how they were raised when they become parents (which has awful implications considering the shitshow of Sam's childhood) but the effect of this big empty space no one brings up makes Bridget feel like an entity who spawned fully formed, knowing her purpose immediately. actually, i don't think anyone ever talks about the parents of the extinction entities. can they have parents? are they born at all? their birth must be effected in some way by the eternal umbilical cord, and that parasaurolophus Heartman showed us a picture of must have had issues in the egg considering the yolk is usually absorbed through where her umbilical was. maybe she was just birthed by the universe, maybe all extinction entities were, and that where their umbilical connection leads back to. but imagine being Bridget's mother. imagine being (or at the very least feeling) responsible for creating the end of the world in human form. we already know the umbilical connection is extremely important in Death Stranding, touching a BB's allows you to share it's powers, it ties BT's to the world of the living, carrying a DOOMS afflicted baby gives you DOOMS too. what would it feel like to carry the Extinction Entity?
i imagine pretty fucking awful, if Lucy is any example to go by, and she only had DOOMS which is literally just a very minor form of Amelie's dreams. i wouldn't be surprised if Amelie's own mother committed suicide/ went insane/ was otherwise distant from her, but the implications of such trauma from Amelie's early life makes me think very hard about Amelie potentially inflicting similar mother trauma on Sam in the Bridget form to act out her own fantasies of the comfort she never received in the Amelie form. and that would be fucking INSANE and also make so much sense. I agree she probably does feel guilty about the trauma she's giving Sam , but i think more than justifying it as for the greater good, she desperately desperately needs someone to understand her to form a connection, and she would absolutely inflict it on him if she thought they could grow closer because of it. it would develop Amelie's inability to actually understand Sam as a person (her insistence on Sam reconnecting, the amount of times she says 'i know' something about him without ever listening to him adamantly refuting it) because she's so blinded by what she expects him to become from her conscious or unconscious conditioning. she expects his trauma responses to be like her trauma responses, but she literally doesn't know enough about humans to realize children aren't all the same malleable ball of clay and have their own intrinsic personalities and quirks from birth (and i think this is probably the way she justifies her treatment of BBs in general. like "what do you mean children are people, they're obviously children." she recognises inherent tragedy in the death of a child, but she doesn't actually understand that children are more than potential-people.) obviously this is literal grasping at straws theoryposting here, but the point is i need Sam to grill her with surgical precision on screen and i need to be able to watch it and make notes.
you could never bore me with the implications of the Lou-Amelie connection. never. this has been on my mind since day one, and i really do not think it is an accident that our first look at Elle Fanning is her in a mask. all the masks of the first game lead back to Amelie in the end - Diehardman's black mask was Bridget's first, Higgs only started wearing his gold mask after becoming radicalized by her - and i think Elle/Lou's golden mask is going to follow the exact same pattern. and then her strings...
i am literally unable to imagine what the end game of this connection will be. there are so many ways it could play out and so many angles kojima could bring to it if he so wanted. i really hope it's not that Amelie used her god powers to fuck with time and some part of her without memories reincarnated as Lou because i can only imagine the torture of raising your own mother. it would just seem... selfish, i guess, for Amelie to walk back her promise to bear eternal solitude, even if there is something deeply tragic about her doing it to be close to Sam again. something very Orpheus and Eurydice about it, but like that myth, i can't imagine it ending in anything except tragedy. at the very least Sam deserves happiness, even if Amelie objectively doesn't (and probably can't be without access to Sam, which would probably drive Sam miserable.)
plus Sam deserves to have at least one meaningful relationship that wasn't engineered for him by Amelie in some way.
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our-blood-is-our-ink · 2 years ago
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if your still doing the prompt thing how about 17, 23, 25, 29 with power!bottom claire being stressed and intern!reader offering to help but don't have any sexual experience so claire teaches them
Thank you so much for sending this in! I'm so sorry it took so long to complete, life got very hectic, but I have it for you now! I hope I've done this request justice <3
Afterhours
Ship: Claire Debella x Reader
Summary: When you, an intern working at the governor's office, offer to stay with the governor while she works late into the night, you find yourself in a situation you have only ever fantasized of.
Word Count: 5.8k
Disclaimer: 18+ ONLY, minors dni
Warnings: smut, hints at dark!Claire, pet-names, praise kink, degradation kink, fingering, oral, first time, virgin reader, legal age gap, power imbalance, mommy kink, begging, implied subspace
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It's an open secret at the office that Governor Debella is paranoid.
If the extreme vetting process to just simply become an intern is anything to go by, the woman could use some relaxation time.
After all, a single intern hardly would have the ability to take down the political powerhouse that Governor Debella is.
Or, that's what you think anyhow.
You knew you had been lucky to land the job, the experience and credentials that will pad up your resume and qualifications that will come from working here, but some days, all you can think about is how stressed the top boss constantly is.
Being a people pleaser, being a people fixer, you started to stay late, wanting to get as much work done as possible.
Sure, you're only a low level entry personnel, but what you do helps free up time for those above you to focus on more important things.
After a few weeks of being the last one in the office, Governor Debella notices.
“Don't you have someone to get home to? A boyfriend, or a pet, or something?”
You nearly topple back in your seat, startled by your boss’s boss’s boss’s boss (seriously there's a chain of command here, and you're merely a bottom feeder) not having heard her approach from behind.
“Governor!” You gasp, trying to recover. “Uh- I don't- I live with a few roommates, but they never care if I'm there or not. We're all very busy.”
Governor Debella frowns, and crosses her arms.
“There's no reason for you to be staying so late. You're an intern. You don't get paid overtime.”
You shrug.
“I don't have much else to do. Call it volunteer hours.”
(And god, doesn't that sound pathetic, especially because it's true.)
Her frown deepens.
“It's illegal for you to stay and work without pay.”
“Are you telling me I need to start going home at quitting time?”
The words spill from your mouth before you can think them through.
There's a moment of silence, and for a second you could swear it's hesitation on Governor Debella’s face.
“No.” She says, after a beat too long.
There's another, much longer silence.
You hate the quiet, and you find yourself breaking it.
“Then, er, what do you want me to do?”
Governor Debella blinks, and it draws your attention to the dark bags underneath her tired silvery-blue eyes, her makeup must having had rubbed off enough for it to begin to show.
You suddenly realize that perhaps it's just as exhausting for her as it is for everyone else to deal with her stress and paranoia.
“Would you like some company while you work?” You offer, a gentleness in your tone that you hadn't made the decision to speak with. “I could clock out and then just… Sit in your office with you if you'd like. I know how empty the building feels when everyone has left.”
This time, you know you haven't imagined her hesitation.
“I'm under contract, anyhow, Governor. If there's an additional paper you need me to sign, for security reasons, well.” You shrug. “What's one more?”
Again, there's silence, and then…
“Call me Claire, if you're really willing to sit and do nothing for hours besides for staring at my office walls.”
You're a bit shocked she's accepted your offer, and you stumble over your response.
“I- oh. Uh… Okay, um. Claire.”
The governor’s lips twitch, as if she's hiding a smile.
“But not tonight. I was just about to head out, which means you definitely should too. Security won't stick around once I leave, and the night shift…” Claire scowls. “I need to remember to get them replaced.”
It's the most you've ever heard her talk without snapping at someone to do something, let alone to you.
“Isn't that what your assistant is for? To remind you or to arrange that on your behalf?”
“That's only if I remember to tell him.” Claire mutters, before shaking her head. “Shut your computer down, you're not staying if I'm not in the building.”
She waits, hovering over your shoulder as you listen, and she walks with you out to the front of the building.
“You didn't park in the lot?” She asks, when you start to head towards home.
You can feel your face flush.
“I uh… I don't exactly get paid enough to own a car.” You refuse to look at the older woman. “Usually I just walk back.”
“It's two in the morning.” Claire sounds incredulous.
“I have pepper spray.”
“No. You're not walking home anymore.”
Claire has her arms crossed again, and an all too familiar glare is being leveled at you.
Before now, you always thought it was an angry expression.
You're beginning to wonder if maybe it's a stubborn one instead.
You sigh.
“Well short of driving me home yoursel-”
“That's exactly what I'm going to do.”
You barely manage to keep your jaw from dropping as Claire turns, clearly expecting you to follow her.
You suppose if you don't, you won't get too far before she can find you walking.
Or if not, possibly fire you over it tomorrow.
You push down your anxiety.
Don't worse case scenario. You scold yourself.
Claire drives a nondescript silver minivan.
“I have custody every other month.” She explains your unanswered question.
Ah, right.
Sometimes you forget that Claire just recently went through divorce, that she has two little ones to care for.
You remember how the media had dug it all up, how they aired her very private life for the public.
For a minivan, it's pretty nice.
When Claire turns on the car, a few loud notes play, before she quickly slams her palm against the knob that turns the car music on and off.
You raise an eyebrow, but don't say anything about it.
Instead you ask, “how are they?”
“My kids?”
She sounds mildly surprised as she reaches for her seatbelt.
“Yeah.”
You click yours in as she replies.
“They're… They're okay, all things considered.”
She puts the car in reverse, and you rattle off your address so she knows where she's headed.
Her nose wrinkles, and you're willing to bet it's because you don't live in a particularly nice area.
“You had to hire shadows- uh, bodyguards for them, right?”
Claire's hands clench the wheel, turning her knuckles white.
“I don't know of any other governor who's had their children's lives threatened.” She practically growls. “It scares them, but they won't say anything.”
“I'm sorry.” You murmur.
Claire glances at your pale face, and she takes a breath, forcing her body to relax.
“It's not your fault.” She shakes her head. “They're my kids. I'm their mother. I'm bound to be a bit overprotective.”
You choke back an unamused laugh.
“You would hope.”
Claire gives you a quick look, before returning her full attention to the road.
“What makes you say that?”
Oh crap, you didn't mean to invite Claire to dig into your life.
“Er… My parents… They weren't the best.” You mumble.
Claire frowns, eyes still looking forward.
“How old are you again?”
“Twenty-three.”
Claire hums.
“And how much are we paying you again?”
You rattle off the salary.
Claire hums again, and then there's silence for the rest of the short drive.
When she pulls up in front of your apartment, you say, “this is it.”
You undo your seatbelt and open the door, moving to leave.
“I'll have the paperwork ready for you on your desk by lunch.” Claire says.
At your confused look she huffs.
“For your extended night hours.”
Oh!
“Right, thank you. And thank you for the lift.”
Claire nods.
“If you don't have those papers past lunch break, hound my assistant. Don't take no for an answer, I might not remember to let Brian know to expect you to be a bother.”
The word bother echoes around your head, and you swallow down sudden anxiety.
“Sure thing. Good night, Governor-er- Claire.”
“Good night.” The other woman says, and you shut the passenger door firmly behind you as you sprint into your building.
��»•«—
You do have to bother her assistant the next day, and the stack of papers Claire presents you with is frankly ridiculous, but you pull out a notepad, read them through, and write bullet points of what you're agreeing to.
You sign, and initial, and date.
And then you binder clip it all together and drop it with a fairly solid thud onto Brian’s desk.
“Governor Debella will want these to be scanned and filed.” You say, even as an intern knowing the procedure for important documentation.
The man frowns at you.
“You're not done.” Brain says, and then seemingly out of nowhere, produces another stack of papers.
You groan, but your impatience quickly disappears as you stare at the sheet of paper, towards the end of the stack, that says how much of a raise you're receiving for signing on to be Claire’s personal intern.
Claire's personal intern.
$47,000
That was $15k more than what you had been making.
What the fuck.
You sign the papers, and don't say a word.
Slowly, as the day progresses, people trickle out, until you're the last one in the main office.
Brain looks at you as he leaves, and nearly walks into a wall trying to maintain his stare.
You head towards Claire's office and knock on her door.
“Come in.”
She sounds frazzled, and you realize you haven't seen her flying around the office today as you normally do.
“Everything alright?” You ask, taking note of Claire's disheveled state.
“No.” Is the simple answer you get, and you don't push as Claire continues to frantically scribble something out.
You glance around, familiarizing yourself with the private office you so rarely see the inside of, and take notice of a little seating area, with two arm chairs and a very comfortable looking couch.
In addition, there's what appears to be a bar cart, but it's filled with bottled water and sports drinks instead of alcohol, as well as a giant TV screen and what looks like a game console hooked up to it.
Somehow, you can't quite picture Claire playing video games while at work, and you have to wonder if perhaps she has ever been forced to watch one or both of her kids while working.
You don't want to become an annoyance, so instead of pacing the space, you choose to settle into one of the armchairs, curling up with one knee to your chest, the other dangling off the side of the chair.
You stare at the ceiling and let your mind wander as you examine the embedded ceiling lights.
“This is fucking bullshit.” Claire suddenly growls, and the sound of a pen clattering against the plastic wood of her desk sounds through the room.
“What is?” You ask.
Claire’s head jerks up, and for a moment, she looks surprised.
“You're so quiet.” She says. “I forgot you were here.”
You shrug, and don't say I’m good at that, I've had a lot of practice growing up.
You do say, “I didn't want to be a distraction.”
Claire hums.
She does that a lot, you realize.
“Well, maybe instead I can bounce this off of you.”
She gestures for you to come around to her side of the desk, and you quickly skim over what appears to be a proposal for a bill.
“Is it even legal for me to be doing this?” You ask.
Out of the corner of your eye you see Claire shrugging.
“You work for the government office this will be coming out from. It's not illegal, just out of the norm.”
You make a noise of understanding, going over the contents of it, frowning.
“What’s the problem with this?” You ask once you're finished giving the proposal a once-over.
Claire viciously stabs a single digit at some handwritten notes laying next to her keyboard.
“This section, this sentence, this paragraph, this fucking word is wrong, but the thesaurus is being useless-”
“Whoa, whoa.” You slow down what was sure to be Claire spiraling into more stress. “What's the most important thing to fix here?”
Claire blinks, pauses, frowns, then flips through her notes.
“Here.” She finally decides. “This entire section needs to be completely rewritten.”
You scroll to the right place on the computer screen and read it over more carefully.
“I'm pretty sure we can bullshit what you want to say here.” You murmur half to yourself. “It shouldn't be too difficult, most of the framework is here, it's just about closing the loopholes and rewording things to be less polarizing.”
“You make it sound so simple.” Claire grumps, leaning back in her chair and frowning as she crosses her arms.
You shrug.
“I bullshitted my fair share of essays, the difficult part to it is having a decent outline, which you already have.”
The other woman grumbles something under her breath before sitting up, shooing you away with a flick of her hand.
“Alright, well if it's that easy.” Her tone is disgruntled, but her fingers are already clacking against the keyboard, and you take that as your signal to return to the armchair you had been lazing about in.
At the end of the night, she drives you home again.
It becomes a routine.
For the next few months, Claire uses you as a sound board during the late hours, and you've taken to bringing either a book to read or an adult coloring book to do while you sit with her.
And then something big must have happened in her private life, because Claire is an absolute menace even to you one Monday, tearing through the office morale like a hot knife to butter.
You don't dare say a thing, even when she snaps at you later that night for being incompetent, and you just sit and take it.
She doesn't mean it personally.
You know that.
But by the time Thursday rolls around, her attitude hasn't changed, and you've found yourself retreating, becoming as small and invisible as possible in an attempt to spare yourself from Claire’s wrath.
You hear shuffling from where you're curled up on the couch, and you look up, and find Claire downing a shot, a bottle of amber liquid sitting on her desk.
“I know I've been an ass.” She says when she catches your eye.
“You've been stressed.” You excuse.
Claire shakes her head.
“There are better ways of releasing steam.”
“Well what do you usually do?”
You think this must be the first conversation all week that Claire is having civilly.
“Get high. Or have sex.”
Your mouth drops open at her blasé answer.
“And I haven't been able to do either.” She complains.
“Well, er. I could- I could help. If you wanted. To- um. To destress, I- I mean.”
You don't know why those words left your mouth, and the moment they do, you can feel your face heat up.
Sure, you've begun to have the occasional fantasy or wet dream about your boss, but that wasn't the same thing as implying you'd have sex with her.
HR is going to have a field day with you.
You're going to be fired.
You bury your face into your hands, and when Claire gently brushes her fingers against your back, you jump.
You hadn't heard her move.
“Look at me.” She softly says, and you shiver at how low her voice is pitched.
“There's a good girl.” She smiles as you listen, and the pulse of heat that shoots down your spine makes you feel dizzy.
Her hand comes up to cup your face, angling it upwards and forcing you to meet her eyes.
“Do you mean it, baby?” She asks, and you shiver at the pet-name, biting your lip as you grow more aroused. “You'll help mommy destress?”
Your eyes widen at the title Claire has bestowed upon herself, and you flush with embarrassment as the whine you've been fighting to keep down slips out through your mouth and escapes.
Your boss chuckles.
“Such a sweet thing. You had no idea what you were getting yourself into, offering to stay so late with me, did you?”
You frown, confused, despite your ever growing arousal.
“Wh-what do you mean?”
Claire smiles, but it's a sharp thing that causes gooseflesh to erupt along your arms.
“Please, doll. I've seen the way you look at me. And we both know how aware you are of how… Lonely, I have been.”
Her hand reaches out, and she brushes her knuckles gently against your cheek.
“Say yes.”
Her voice is pitched low, and it makes you shiver.
“Say yes to mommy, and I promise, you'll never have to worry about a thing again.”
Perhaps it should be your sign to leave right now, the possessiveness that practically drips from the governor's tone, but all it does is empty your head of thought.
“Yes.” You breathlessly say. “Yes, I'll help mommy destress.”
“Good girl.” She purrs, and when your lips part to allow a moan to tumble out, Claire gently presses against your tongue with two fingers.
When you stay still, frozen and unsure of what the older woman wants you to do, she furrows her brow and withdraws her fingers.
“Have you ever had sex before, honey?”
Immediately you can feel heat rise to your cheeks as you shake your head, shame rising in your throat.
“I- I'm a virgin.” You whisper, tripping over your words. “This is my first time…”
You trail off, embarrassed.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Claire coos, her eyes sparking with something that makes you feel a bit like her prey. “Budge over.” She says.
Mindlessly, you obey, scooting all the way down, and Claire settles back against the arm of the couch, and she lazily smiles at you as she slowly, tantalizingly spreads her legs.
You had no idea a suit skirt could stretch so much.
You had no idea how well it could hide the fact that Claire wasn't wearing any underwear either.
“Teach me how to make you feel good.” You're flooded by a sudden need to please this woman spread out before you, a sudden desire to watch her come undone because of you. “Show me how to touch you.” You beg. “Please.”
Claire chuckles deeply.
“You're going to be so perfect for me, baby.” She husks out, and you can feel how your pussy pulses, leaking wetness against the material of your underwear.
Unlike Claire, you're wearing a pair.
A niggling feeling of regret bothers you.
You wish you were easily accessible for your boss.
You want her to ruin you.
“Come here, honey.” Claire beckons you with a single finger, and you're obedient, crawling until you hover over her.
She reaches her hands up, and oh so gently cups your face with her hands, guiding your head downwards until your lips are just millimeters apart.
One of her thumbs softly brushes over your cheek, moving back and forth in a soothing sweeping motion, and her silvery-blue eyes gaze deep into your own.
The moment stretches, and you grow impatient of waiting, and despite your heart hammering against your ribcage, you close the miniscule gap between your lips and hers.
They're so fucking soft.
Claire isn't your first kiss by any means, but you deeply wish it were.
You're moaning into her mouth like you're a slut, and when Claire enters your own with her tongue, it's all you can do to keep yourself from falling atop of her as your limbs go weak.
Languidly, you make out with your boss, and as you do so, one of her knees makes its way between the apex of your thighs.
When you instinctively buck into the touch, Claire pulls away, and breathlessly laughs at you.
“Remember, doll. This is about mommy, not about you.”
Your head is spinning from the lack of oxygen.
You whimper, and bite your lip.
Her expression softens, and she reaches up to tuck an errant strand of hair behind your ear.
“Didn't mommy say that as long as you're with me, I'll see to all your needs? Make me feel good, and I promise, you'll get a reward, sweet thing.”
You drop your head against her shoulder, and the whine that escapes you causes Claire to reach up and stroke at your hair.
“Let me show you how to touch mommy, baby. Let me show you how she likes to be pleasured.”
It's not fair, you think. No one woman should have the right to say things like that in such a husky sounding voice.
Your pussy throbs.
You lift your head up, and shift your weight, settling back so that you're straddling Claire.
“Please mommy, teach me.” You beg, and the older woman groans at the plain desperation that drips from your tone. “Teach me how to make you scream for your baby.”
At the word ‘scream’, Claire's eyes light up, something that simultaneously sends a shiver of fear through your body, but also a shiver of anticipation.
“You want to make mommy scream, doll? Get off, and I'll show you how.”
Gracelessly you tumble off of Claire and onto the floor, and she shakes her head as she laughs.
“You’re adorable, sweetheart.”
She stands, and as she walks back to her desk, she strips, carelessly leaving her clothes crumbled on the floor.
As she settles back into her leather seat, she spreads her legs wide in a clear order.
Her gaze feels intense as she watches you wobble over to her, before you collapse, dropping to your knees, your legs unable to continue to support your weight.
Your head spins as the scent of Claire’s arousal overwhelms you, and you look up at your boss with wide, pleading eyes.
She chuckles, and her hand comes down to pet your hair, before they tangle and tug at you.
“M-mommy!” You protest. “I still don't know what to do!”
Claire groans, but she doesn't stop guiding you forward.
“You're smart, doll. I'm sure you can figure it out.”
You whimper, but don't protest further, and then the older woman's cunt is directly in your face, and you're powerless as you stick your tongue out hesitantly.
You give her a taste test.
The wetness that is slowly dripping from Claire is a bit salty, but mostly, it just tastes musky.
It isn't bad.
It's just… New.
You give Claire’s pussy a few more tiny little licks, trying to acclimate to her taste, and she tightens her hold on your hair.
“I thought you wanted to make mommy scream.” She bites out, yanking you flush against her pulsing center. “So do it. Mommy needs to relax, and you're going to help.”
Helplessly, you do as Claire commands, and you start lapping at her earnestly.
When she lets out an unrestrained moan above you, you can't help but moan in return, and Claire gasps.
She yanks your head back, her chest heaving slightly, pupils blown wide.
“I never thought you could make such sweet noises, baby.” She breathlessly says.
You feel heat rushing to your face, and Claire's free hand grips your chin when you try to look away.
“Neither did I.” You whisper, ashamed.
Claire tsks.
“None of that now, honey, mommy wants to hear you again. Moan for me.”
Your mouth drops open, and your mind goes blank as you try to process your boss’s demand.
Her grip tightens.
“I said moan for me, bitch.”
It tumbles involuntarily from your mouth, loud and uncontrolled, and Claire's grip on your chin turns painfully.
“Does that turn you on? For mommy to degrade you like the little fucking slut you are?”
The noise you make in response causes Claire’s eyes to glint as she smirks.
“Who knew beneath all that innocence was a whore.” She coos, before jerking your head forward in a clear demand.
You eat her out for what feels like ages, the taste of Claire filling your senses, and you grow progressively lightheaded.
You find your thoughts slipping away as you become utterly focused on not letting one drop of your boss’s wetness to escape your tongue, and you find your hands keeping her legs spread apart as you become more eager in your ministrations.
You feel drunk as Claire begins to make higher and higher pitched noises until finally, she goes so high, it's a shrill thing that your ears can barely withstand, and there's a wetness soaking your face that isn't from how vigorously you had been pleasuring her.
She hasn't told you to stop, though, and you find yourself not wanting to regardless, so you continue to lap at her until she harshly jerks your head away.
“Enough.” She pants, eyes closed, chest heaving. “Enough.”
Your head spins, and you feel dizzy as you stare, memorized by the woman above you.
You open your mouth, aware there's something you want to ask, but you can't seem to conjure enough words in your mind to even speak them aloud.
Silvery-blue eyes open, and the most self satisfied smirk you have ever seen curls at the edges of Claire’s lips.
“How precious.” She murmurs, before sticking her heeled foot out.
You hadn't noticed that despite shedding her clothes, the older woman had kept her shoewear on.
“Why don't you make yourself feel good, and put on a pretty show for mommy, hm?”
You slowly close your mouth, becoming aware it's been hanging open, and give your boss a confused look.
Claire sighs.
“That's right, you really don't have any experience. Could have fooled me, with how well you've made me cum, doll.”
You flush, uncertain if it's from the praise or from the degradation.
You watch as Claire carefully stands, and you're startled when she hisses, her left leg buckling from how loose and relaxed her muscles have become.
“Strip.” Claire orders, her knuckles white from how hard she's clutching at her desk. “And then lay back on the couch.”
You scramble, tugging your shirt off as you simultaneously attempt to undo the button of your pants, and you wind up tripping, falling to the floor.
Claire's laughter causes your face to heat up.
“Looks like my baby needs my help, hm?” She giggles, toeing off her heels so that she can walk properly.
You whine, and can feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes with embarrassment.
“Aw, sweetheart.” Claire pouts. “Mommy thinks you're cute for being so eager. No need to be so sad over it.”
You whine again, but slowly force yourself to sit up.
“Mommy.” You whimper. “Jus’ wanted to feel good.”
The older woman’s amused expression visibly softens, and warm hands reach for you.
You stand with Claire's help, and she almost reverently helps you undress, gently kissing each newly revealed piece of skin.
“Look at this beautiful body, honey. Just so perfect for me.”
Unable to bear the compliment, you choose instead to bury your head against the upper part of Claire's chest.
She coos, and runs her fingers through your hair.
“Oh, sweet thing. Is my baby feeling shy?”
You nod against her, noticing the soft smell of vanilla.
You've never noticed it before.
You had thought it was maybe the air refresher in Claire's office, but no.
It's her.
Your head spins.
And you're so wet.
Claire's laugh rumbles against you, and she easily guides you towards the couch.
You only grow steadily redder as she pulls your legs apart, kissing her way up from one ankle, and then kisses her way back down the other, over and over until you're squirming with your need.
“Mommy, please!” You cry.
Claire groans, eyes fluttering shut for a few moments, before she pulls you close, hooking your legs over her shoulders.
When she noses at your clit, your hands find her hair, and she tsks.
“No, doll. I won't reward you if you pull at my hair.”
Reluctantly, you release your grip, and bury your fingers against the cushion of the couch instead.
“Good girl.” Claire praises, and you moan softly in response.
When her tongue presses against you, you shudder at the new sensation.
It's wet and warm and slightly rough, and–
“Oh, fuck!” You cry out. “Fuck, mommy!”
Claire's hands harshly grip at the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, making you whimper, but she continues to lavish her tongue over your clit, and you begin to squirm in earnest.
You've masterbated plenty of times, and have a few toys in your bedside drawer, but that is nothing compared to the older woman’s touch.
Within a few minutes, you're already near orgasm, and you chase the release, fighting the urge to bring your hands back up to tangle into Claire's hair.
And then right when you're about to reach that high, the moment before the waves of pleasure can overwhelm you, she pulls away, and you loudly sob.
“No, please.” You gasp.
Claire smirks, and you whimper at how lustful her gaze is, at how your wetness glistens on the bottom half of her face.
“You want to cum, baby?” She mocks you, pouting. “You want mommy to let you feel good? Then beg for it. I need to hear my cute little doll ask for permission first.”
You whimper.
“Please, mommy.” You can feel tears start to gather with how badly you want this. “Please let your baby cum, I wanna cum for you, I wanna feel good, please, please, please!”
“Hm…” Claire hums.
“Please.” The tears start to roll down your cheeks. “I wanna to cum, mommy. I want you to make me cum, please.”
You let out a sob of desperation when a single digit finds your swollen clit, and lightly begins to circle it.
“Please.” You whisper, your voice getting caught in your throat.
For a moment, you think your boss is going to deny you, and you open your mouth to continue to beg, when instead you gasp, two of Claire’s fingers suddenly stretching you open.
You let out a high pitch noise when she curls the digits, pleasure burning through you, and you buck your hips.
“Mommy, mommy, mommy!” You chant, unable to form any other thought, let alone words.
“Cum for me, princess.” Claire softly orders, and as if your body was designed to obey her every desire, you convulse, a scream tearing it's way from your throat as she continues to finger fuck you, the gushing wetness weeping from your pussy causing a squelching noise, and you writhe as you ride the high.
“Fuck, baby.” Claire groans. “I want you to come for me again.”
You squirm desperately, the aftershocks still pulsing through you, but Claire is stronger than your now limp body, and she thumbs at your clit, sending electric waves up your spine, causing your back to arch painfully.
“FUCK!” You cry out, unable to control your volume, and you can barely hear Claire's responding moan over the static in your ears as a new wave of ecstasy crashes over you.
You're gasping for air with how it steals your breath away, and when Claire collapses on top of you, you gladly welcome it, despite how it further suffocates your lungs of oxygen.
She smells so good. You think as you start to come back to your senses.
The scent of vanilla is still prominent, but it's now mixed with the smell of Claire’s sweat.
Somehow, it's more appealing.
The smell of sex still hangs heavy in the air, and you throb as your body unfairly grows more aroused again.
“Mommy.” You whisper.
Claire groans, burying her head further against your neck.
“You smell so good, princess.” She says. “And you look so beautiful when I fuck your brains out.”
A whimper catches in the back of your throat.
Claire finally moves, shifting until she's sitting upright, and you don't think she's ever looked as enthralling as does now.
Her cheeks are flushed, and you can clearly see faint freckles that are usually hidden under a layer of makeup that Claire must have sweated off, and her hair has gone from stick straight to gentle waves, a halo of frizz framing her face.
You lose yourself in her eyes, at how she smiles so tenderly as she helps you up and to the private attached bathroom in her office.
“Let's get cleaned up, doll.” She says, and you grin goofily at her.
Your head is still spinning.
She giggles, a light sound that makes you join in once a light snort causes her to double over.
“You're so cute.” She smiles, and you obediently spread your legs when she taps your thigh.
She gently runs the wash cloth in her hand over the sticky residue of your arousal, and you flinch every time she passes over your clit.
“You’re still so sensitive.” She breathes out. “Did mommy not satisfy you, doll? Do you want mommy to keep going until it hurts for me to?”
“I- ah!” You cry out when Claire firmly swipes the cloth over your swollen bud. “I just want to be good.”
Claire peers up at you, and you hold your breath as she weighs your words.
“Next time then, maybe.” She decides, and you aren't sure if your shoulders slump with relief or disappointment.
She finishes cleaning you up, before moving on to herself, telling you to wait as she does so.
You watch as her back muscles move with her motions, and you can't resist the urge to kiss them, to nip at them.
Who knew the governor would have such fairly well defined muscles?
“Baby.” Claire warns.
“Mmm… Mommy.” You reply, before darting the tip of your tongue out against her warm skin.
“Baby, if you want to go home, you'll stop.”
“But you're so pretty. I can't help it.”
Claire turns around, shaking her head.
“You're adorable, honey. Come on, let's get dressed so we can head home.”
Claire has to help you into your shirt and pants, and you don't notice when she pockets your underwear instead of giving it back to you when she spots it under the couch.
Before you leave, your boss insists on watching you drink a glass of water, predicting you'll be too tired to do so once she drops you off at home, expressing how important it is to her that you take care of yourself.
By the time you get to her car, you're stumbling with exhaustion, beginning to crash as the endorphin high wears off.
You can't keep your eyes open once she starts driving, and when you let out a huge yawn, Claire glances at you.
“Go to sleep, baby.” She soothingly says. “I'll wake you up when we get home.”
You're used to listening when she asks you of something, and so you don't think twice as you finally allow your eyes to stay close, and you drift off, Claire's warm hand on your thigh.
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antianakin · 10 months ago
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@theneutralmime
You might have to be more specific than that. Most of what we see done with the Force is perfectly normal, like being able to block blaster bolts with a lightsaber and stuff, so I guess I'll try to hit on some of the bigger more controversial uses of the Force and see if these answer your questions. Keep in mind that the Force is generally a pretty SOFT magic system and while there are definitely some guidelines to it, there's a lot you can get away with via "rule of cool" here.
Somehow Palpatine returned: Arguably Palpatine living is actually perfectly within canon given that we have examples of Sith characters living through shit that should've killed them, most obviously Maul (something done by Lucas himself so we can't just blame it all on Disney bringing characters back). But within Disney canon there's also the Grand Inquisitor and Reva who both live through injuries that seem like they should've killed them by utilizing the dark side to sustain them. So Palpatine living is actually perfectly do-able within canon in terms of "how the Force works", regardless of how stupid it was NARRATIVELY and how annoying I find the trend in general.
Luke's Force projection: This doesn't seem like that weird to me, it's definitely NEW and not something we saw anybody else doing in prior films, but it's also not something anyone else would've truly benefited much from and given that it kills Luke almost immediately afterward, it's clearly a VERY last resort option and only really useful as a distraction anyway. It's not that far off of the whole Force Ghost idea to me and sort-of draws on the idea that the Jedi are empaths to some degree, so I'm not too fussed about this. It's fun and I appreciate all the clues about what's happening that are THERE if you look for them but not necessarily super obvious before the reveal.
Leia saving herself from the vacuum of space: I don't dislike this one either, actually. Leia's got a couple of seconds or so in which she can react to a warning from the Force somehow and while we don't see any other Jedi actively fighting in space without a suit or anything, we DO see Plo Koon fighting in space with nothing but his air mask which should still kill him and somehow doesn't, so it's not like Leia surviving this is completely out of the realm of possibility to me. Besides, it's the first super explicit use of the Force Leia got in the films and pissed off a lot of crybaby fanboys who were convinced Leia wasn't Force sensitive, so I'm willing to give it a lot of grace for that alone.
The Force dyad: I actually don't have an issue with the mechanics of the dyad and more have an issue with the way it's utilized in the narrative. Personally, I find it a little silly that some sort of extra special Force connection would exist between two people at THIS point in time and not like... when a literal child of prophecy was alive. If I was going to believe there was a special Force connection between ANYBODY, it would've been Anakin/Obi-Wan (narratively foiled anyway and involves a child of prophecy) or Luke/Leia (twin children of the child of prophecy separated at birth for their own safety). And of course, if it HAD to be in the Sequel trilogy for whatever reason, we all know it should've been Finnrey, for a MULTITUDE of reasons. The other issue I have with the dyad is that they change it from Snoke creating it specifically to mess with Kylo in TLJ to their connection being some sort of special prophecized thing by TROS, so it's not even clear in the narrative what precisely the damn thing even IS or why Rey and Kylo even HAVE IT because the stupid directors and studio execs couldn't agree on it I guess.
Force healing: I know some people have major issues with this one and I get why, but it honestly doesn't bother me that much. TROS explains it as being a byproduct of the dyad anyway, something ONLY these people can do because being connected the way they are allows them to access powers no one else could. It's one of the ways I think the dyad DOES work in the sense that if they're going to give these two characters this special connection then hey fuck it why not use it to let them have a special Force power a lot of fans want to see but that wouldn't really make sense in any other context? I'm obviously NOT a huge fan of "Force healing resurrection via True Love's Kiss" or whatever, but the general concept of Force healing coming from the dyad works fine for me. It's a little heavy handed and on the nose, but... it's fine.
Leia saving Kylo through... "Force whammy"?: This is the big one I hate, this is the one I cannot STAND. If Sith/Dark siders could just be Force whammied into not being evil anymore, WHY DID NOBODY DO THIS TO ANAKIN. Why isn't Obi-Wan trying this from Tatooine, why doesn't Ahsoka try this, why doesn't Yoda or Luke try this? Yes, it kills Leia to do it, but if it whammies Anakin away from being dark and turns him against the Emperor earlier, WHY NOT DO IT. And where would Leia have even LEARNED HOW TO DO THIS, why did she WAIT so long to do it if she knew how this whole time? But the biggest reason I hate this is because it fucks up the entire theme of Star Wars which is CHOICE. If the Sith and Darksiders can just be Force whammied into goodness again, it takes away the CHOICE they need to make to be good. It's SO SO VITALLY IMPORTANT that these characters CHOOSE TO BE GOOD AGAIN if that's the path they're going to go down. It's important that they chose to evil and it's important that they choose to be good again. A Force whammy isn't a fucking choice, it's Leia just... jumpstarting Kylo's brain or whatever. It's just wiping out the things causing him to be evil I guess so that it's just no longer a problem. It's cheating, it's STUPID. And if they'd gone with the idea that Kylo was genuinely being like mind-controlled by Snoke into doing the things he's doing and that none of this WAS his choice and so the Force whammy allows him to finally make his own choices again, that would be one thing, but both TFA and TLJ emphasize that this isn't the case, Kylo is MAKING THESE CHOICES ON HIS OWN and continues to make them no matter how many people offer him another chance to do better. It doesn't matter if it's his father or Rey or Luke, Kylo just KEEPS MAKING THE SAME CHOICES, even after Snoke is dead. A Force whammy should do NOTHING to Kylo because he's not being controlled and it takes away the entire point of Kylo's story being that he CHOSE TO BE EVIL and that he, unlike Anakin, cannot just be saved by love alone. This one stinks, this isn't how the Force works, and it's not how this narrative works.
The only other controversial thing I could think of was how quickly Rey learns to do things, but that's not so much a matter of "how the Force works" because everything she does is pretty basic Force skills like telepathy, telekinesis, and mind tricks.
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davekat-sucks · 8 months ago
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Below is my "I strongly dislike Davekat and wish it wasn't canon and don't have ill will towards fans of it, but I do think they are being ignorant on purpose because Dave's character fucking sucks cock after Act 5" rant. Apologies but I needed to share this because it's almost 4/13 and I'm feeling festive.
You know why most of the fandom left homestuck around 2013-2014? cause of long pauses between updates and then we got stupid content that wasn't going anywhere. I left the fanbase DURING [S] game over. I fucking checked out because that was the stupidest fucking flash it could have possibly been and at that point I was waiting for a moment to just give up on the story and come back to it when it was finished.
I'd say most of the homestuck fandom seems silent about what they think about the story. Every fanbase is like that, most people watch from the sidelines and I do that too. I usually say nothing about the media I consume. Sometimes, rarely, I'll go through homestuck's reddit around this time of year and I'll see common sense. (There is hope!) But a good chunk of the people who stayed with the homestuck fandom through all of Act 6, or younger fans who are just joining it now, are able to just take whatever is given to them and not think anything through. I'm not saying anyone in the fanbase is stupid, no, I'm saying that they don't care enough about the story to admit what is good writing and what is shit writing. They don't care about writing. They don't care about the characters. They care about fannon. They care maybe, MAYBE, about activism.
A good chunk of the fanbase seem to be Davekat stans. Why are there are so many Davekat fans? It's because they can just eat the sludge. Maybe they grew up off of it so they can tolerate it. (I think Act 6 does a number on a motherfucker and makes you lower your standards so low that any content will do.)
Some people think any canon gay rep is good gay rep, but who would want to be represented by this? In Homestuck 2, Karkat is demoted to "Dave's boyfriend" and Dave was a selfish jerk through nearly all of Act 6. Dave was such a good character in Act 5, and Act 6 just had him ignore rose's alcoholism and ignore terezi's struggles. He didn't care about anything. Karkat at least somewhat tried to help Terezi or cheer her up. I can't understand for the life of me how someone like Karkat would end up with someone as selfish as Dave was. (Dave was selfish in the pre-retcon bit but still! why show us that? the epilogue was no different Dave abandoned jade instead of talked to her and let him know he wasn't interested in her because he's gay. I hardly recall what was going on at that part of the story, I just remember being dumbfounded that the story reinforced Dave only cares about himself.)
I wish Dave was written differently. I wish he had SOME, an ounce at least, of chemistry with Karkat. Instead what we got was Dave childishly drawing dicks on Karkat's face in some Hussie art and that pretty much sums up their whole relationship. A massive L for Karkat. I'm fine with Karkat being with meenah, nepeta, jade, davepetasprite for christ's sake! Just not the person that Dave ended up being. Why does fixing Dave fall on Karkat? Dave isn't the only shit character. I can't believe that John just gave up fully and completely. I find it hard to believe that Rose, at the end of the story, wouldn't advise John to train with her so he could learn how to use his new powers to go fight the empress. Why doesn't John do more with his powers? Why isn't John a better dad in the new content? I would imagine he would have tried to be like his own dad. Why did the story write Jake the entire way through like he was so worthless he wasn't worth our time and then dedicate so much of the story to him? I could go on and on about this, and I did go off so I will stop here.
This fandom and this story is going to continue circling the drain. The only thing that could possibly save it is a full overhaul and rewrite from people with skill who actually LIKE the characters. If anyone cared about the story THEY WOULD PRESS FOR THAT!!! If anything Hussie wanted to actively destroy any good will the fans had towards it. Maybe he fucking hates the story, I never looked to far into any of the backstory of how homestuck was made but I assume he fucking hated it from how he wrote Act 6. It's so sad to see because most of the characters had something really special about their stories. It's a story that is all about potential. It was crushed under the weight of it's own stupidity. Wait. I'm not done! What the fuck was that part where Dave left a note for Jade that said "I missed you" and a little red band? I didn't ship them but it certainly felt like Dave was into her or at worst leading her on. Am I supposed to believe that Dave was just fucking with her? Was he trying to be there for her? I guess he was fucking with her or trying to be into girls cause he ended up with Jade only to leave her in the epilogue. Why did he turn out to be such a prick!? Why didn't he talk to her? What point is the story trying to make? Abandon everything when you find out who you really are like your old friends don't matter anymore? Dave was maturing in act 5. Why the fuck is the story like this!!!?!?! YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS IS THE SAME MOTHER FUCKER WHO GAVE IT HIS ALL TO HELP? WHO SAVED ROSE'S LIFE AND THEN WENT TO DIE ALONG SIDE HER IN CASCADE? I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY REASON HE TRIED TO HELP BRING JADE BACK FROM THE DEAD IN GAME OVER WAS BECAUSE JADE WAS A SPACE PLAYER AND THEY NEEDED ONE TO TALK TO HER DENIZEN SO SHE'D BIRTH THE DAMN FROG THING OR WHATEVER!? DOES DAVE JUST SELECTIVELY DECIDE WHEN HE'S HAD ENOUGH BEING A COCKSUCKER? IS HIM BEING ABUSED BY BRO A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE TO IGNORE HOW LITTLE HE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING?!
WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THAT DAVE IS EVEN GOOD AFTER ACT 6?! WHAT GAME WERE THE REFS WATCHING!?!?!?!
Long story short, Karkat deserves at least somewhat better. Thank you.
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Very well said! Everything about this is perfect! People excuse Dave's actions is because of the whole Bro Strider being abusive to him as he grew up. So they think it's okay for him to not move on past it or grow better as a person. Instead, he will just wallow himself in self pity and everyone must feel sorry for him. One could say it's projecting too. Ignoring the fact that Jade had to live ALONE when growing up on an island with an animal guardian. It may be normal for trolls since they have a society that relies on this, but it's not the same for Earth or humans. Not only that, but didn't Dave find out that it was BRO STRIDER who faced against Jack Noir and helped Davesprite ESCAPE? So wouldn't that put into more question about how he feels about his brother and wonder if there was more going on behind the scenes than what he saw? Like why would BRO let Davesprite, who just a Dave from a Doomed Timeline, protect him, knowing how he will be killed? Was his training helpful or did something else make him be this way? It still technically happened by Post Retcon too. So that event and fate is inevitable for Bro Strider. Closest interaction Dave had with Karkat pre-Act 6 is through the memo with John, but even then, he's just fucking around with Karkat. Taunting him to say that interspecies romance is a thing now between the Beta Kids and Trolls and Dave is ready to bang Terezi if Karkat doesn't step up to his game to admit his feelings for her. Maybe it was kind of shitty to use Terezi's feelings and their relationship to mess with someone else that he knows has feelings for her. But dude jumped the chance to use it against Karkat when he thinks humans dating alien trolls should not be a thing. We see Dave do showing kindness. From things like hiding all his dead Daves from Jade so she wouldn't get upset and him having a good time with people like Rose and John. It shows that he is capable of being a good person and probably would wish to be a better one. He wants to be BETTER than Bro. Be someone that treats others better. Maybe even towards his own kids if he decides to have one. But sadly, we live in an age where having a family is a bad thing now. Karkat really deserves better and Dave sucks as he is in these recent HS projects. I don't think James Roach or HICU will make him any better. And Davekat will be hard to make it go away with how the people who work on Homestuck and ones outside of it (like Requiem Cafe) will pander to it because they know it will get the most attention and money. Like carrot on a stick. Even the carrot is rotten, they will still take it.
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transformers-mosaic · 4 months ago
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Transformers: Mosaic - Fragments Iván Mas
wada sez: Yesterday, I shared a couple-dozen assorted previews for Mosaic strips which never saw completion. One artist, however, accounted for almost that many abortive strips all by himself! As I've mentioned in the past, Iván Mas was a prolific Mosaic contributor who often clashed with Mosaic leads Josh van Reyk and Shaun Knowler over their editorial policies. While sharing previews, he constantly expressed frustration over the months-long delay for comics being shared by the project. It's hard to say why most of these strips never saw the light of day, or how far along they were to completion: perhaps some simply slipped through the cracks! As Iván Mas is a true auteur, a real perfectionist, it wouldn't surprise me if he was simply unhappy with the end result for a few of these. I've done my best to translate relevant comments of his.
Untitled Animated Bulkhead comic [2007-09-20]
"May be a small teaser of an upcoming mosaic featuring the new TF Animated characters"
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"Subtle Touch" (Death's Head) [2007-09-21, 2007-10-02]
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"Light Awakening" (Optimus Prime) [2008-02-05]
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"Versus" (Megatron & Optimus Prime) [2008-05-31]
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"Iron" (Man of Iron) [2008-07-07]
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Untitled Leozack comic [2008-08-10]
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"Decepticons Power" (Overlord) [2008-10-09, 2008-10-09]
"Panel 1 of a Mosaic that I am making (another one) at the moment I have 12 on the computer that… have not been shown yet, I don't know if it is worth continuing making…. anyway I am making this one so that Vero, one of the colorists who has given us a hand on the mosaic theme can distract herself…. she expressed her desire to continue doing things and like her friend Rafa, she seems to have a lot of work… In any case, the drawing is not finished, some things need to be touched up… and above all, the background."
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"A teaser of the mosaic that I suppose you will see some year in the next centuries….. I'm bored………. …………………………………. …………………………………."
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"Duality" (Silverbolt) [2008-11-20]
"Eeeeh… well… a mosaic that I don't know if I'll end up doing, lately I've been quite busy so I've put the topic aside, however I have quite a few in the can… so… I don't think there will be much of a problem…"
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Untitled Megatron comic [2009-01-14]
"Well… here's a discarded Megatron panel for a mosaic… it seemed unnecessary to the rhythm and inconsequential, besides the fact that I don't like the drawing too much. I guess because of all that, I didn't put any effort into it either…. It's out."
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Untitled Kup comic [2009-01-18]
"Well, the title is quite self-explanatory, isn't it?…. a design for a mosaic that I hope I will be able to start preparing soon on Kup."
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"New Ages" (Starscream) [2009-01-30]
"Well then… the truth is that I have quite a few mosaics scattered all over the place waiting to be translated or painted… it annoys me and disgusts me a little because I have to show things in dribs and drabs, the subject goes on forever and at this rate they will release it on the official page by 2050.
"That's partly why lately you'll see that I do them alone, if I give them to someone to paint it's possible that because of what people do, the thing will take forever…
"This problem is more personal and unreal than anything else, the truth is that it exasperates me not knowing or having a date to deliver or finish these things, I don't know if it is my defect or what, but I am very strict with deadlines and so on, obviously Yes, I am that way with myself as well with others, although I already said, yes to me, but I cannot demand anything from the rest, as is logical.
"So the fact of making a mosaic by myself means that I can control the deadlines at all times, and thus remain calmer in this aspect.
"That's why you will see that I don't stop putting previews or panels… as I said today I have 7 finished mosaics on my part… and they are waiting to be finished… and I'm doing 5 more… that's what I want To say that if I painted those that I have pending I probably wouldn't be able to draw those 5 so I won't give much more, a shame.
"In reference to the image, I must say that it is Starscream.. I honestly don't know if I will leave it in gray or in color.. for what I intend in the mosaic, perhaps it would do better with color.. but the results like this are not bad….
"However, a note, I don't like transformers with lips… that is, not like I've done them here… does that mean that I don't like this drawing? Well… it's not that I'm excited about it. , but it's not that bad either.
"However, with Starscream I have a problem… since he is a big mouth and a bit effeminate, unconsciously I always mark his lips a lot… but it's funny, it only happens to me with him, so I take it more as a detail that defines a bit. the personality of the character more than anything else, and it also helps to minimally distinguish between Skywarp and Thundercracker, so it is possible that… if you look closely, although you may not like it at all, this detail is not entirely bad.
"About the story… I can't tell you too much, logically… since… it's a page and I'll tell you what it's about…"
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"Human Component: Ginrai" [2009-06-29]
"Here's a sketch about how I plan to draw Ginrai in the Human Component, a small character study… I wasn't planning on uploading it now, but since I don't know when you'll be able to see it… here's a little preview. I know it's not a big deal… but the page will be better.
"In theory, the style of this drawing is the same as that of the mosaic… so… I thought I wanted to make a color page painted with traditional watercolor."
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Untitled Wilder/Shuta comic [2006-12-30, 2010-05-11, 2010-06-02]
wada sez: I've also included the very first piece of fanart shared on Iván's deviantART, which depicts Wilder!
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"A long time ago I started a mosaic about this man… I may not finish it, but I wanted to give my version of this character.
"The Japanese guy was fine, but he had the eighties and effeminate air of that time, for a tough guy, a thug, he had too fine features, a perfect complexion, and a neat style, I can't imagine a gang member physically like that.
"I kept the characteristic features, such as the hair covering the eye and the tape, although here it is not appreciated too much, and I tried to give it a more serious, more realistic, and harder touch… I based myself a little on the actor Toshiro Mifune from the Hidden Fortress, for example.
"I think that this way, he physically passes more for being a "bad" gang member etc…"
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"Well… a quick design that I made for a page that I have pending… and that will not be finished… about a preview of a Wilder against Shuta fight….
"I already showed you another of the panels a few days ago… the one in which we saw Wilder angry…
"So… if I were to make a comic about transformers… it would be something pretty similar to this.
"As you can see, I went from line art… as I always say, if the drawing is done in ink, in color, the only thing it can do is win… the colorist has to be very bad for it to not look good.
"Also… this type or style of robot, with well-drawn humans and rich backgrounds, I think would make a Transformers comic seen through different eyes, and not as a third-category comic.
"As you can see, it is a more serious, more adult and more realistic style, it is clearly Masterforce, a series that due to the incompetence of some, lack of judgment on the part of others and lack of general vision… I fear that it will fall eternally into oblivion, except for a few fans. A shame.
"It is somewhat reminiscent of the Bay or Figueroa style, but being less complicated, it maintains the characteristic features of G.1
"It doesn't look bad at all, for a quick design.
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Untitled "TF3 Mosaic" (Scourge) [2011-07-08, 2011-07-11]
"A small contact with the character for a mosaic that I want to do, the truth is that in the movie he is very lackluster in the face of so many robots, however his potential, just like it had in the original series, is very great.
"Some time ago I made a mosaic about the Constructicons, directly in Photoshop, with a somewhat, let's say "conceptual" style, well, that was a small test to do other things of this type.
"To finish off the drawing a little and make it more of an illustration, I added a background of Chicago manipulated with a little color characteristic of the bad guys or this Shockwave.
"I feel that the resolution is not as good as it should be, but the original is too heavy."
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"Fast design for a mosaic character. Yes, it´s Scourge in movie style.... not bad."
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wada sez: And that's all! I was tempted to reach out to Iván to see if he could share any more material from these strips, but he hasn't been active on deviantART in almost a decade, and I suspect that he canned many of them for a reason. Still, it's an interesting window into his creative process and mindset regarding Mosaic as an endeavour!
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avidbeader · 8 months ago
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So, I've been doing the Great Sheith Reblog for a while now, gradually reblogging almost everything I shared before that was tagged as Sheith. Lots of art, gifsets, fics and recs, old merch posts, and meta to go around with the occasional dash of salt because lord, dumbness about shipping brings out the salt sometimes. But most of the time it's a lovely nostalgia hit and a reminder of why I still love this ship with all my fandom heart. It's bittersweet sometimes, seeing the usernames that left with Tumblr's worst decision ever, the fellow fans who have moved on to other things, and yes, the hopes and dreams we had before Season 8.
Long blathering under the cut: musings about the persistence of anti-shippers and what queerbaiting actually means.
But occasionally what both amuses and frustrates me is how things line up because it's 2024 and we still have klantis/antis over on the former Twitter spreading the same lies about Shiro and Keith - about their ages, about how they met, about what their relationship is. Right now over there, arguing is happening again because someone put up a clout-chasing poll about which mlm ship was the most influential and included KL but not Sheith (KL beat Johnlock and then lost to Hualian, so I'm happy twice over). Side note - I think if we take "influence" as a completely neutral term, then yeah, KL has been a huge negative influence on fandoms as it was one of the places that allowed puriteen attitudes and anti behavior to grow unchecked for so long. That helped turn some ship fandoms into cults, in which you had to believe with utter certainty that your ship would be canon or you weren't a "true" fan of the ship. That put more emphasis on opposing a rival ship through wank and harassment instead of focusing on the joy and fun of creating for the ship you supposedly love.
And that poll prodded someone to create a Google Form for soliciting answers as to what the biggest examples of queerbaiting are in media. And of course people are saying KL and Adam/Shiro, among other things that are not at all queerbait. These are examples of people guessing wrong and getting mad about it. Queerbait requires that the producers/writers/etc. say outright that a ship is going to happen and then it doesn't, without any influences from the powers above them making changes. Not received fan "wisdom". Not marketing doing things without consulting the producers.
And I just reblogged someone's ask in which they said they felt queerbaited by Sheith solely because of the "brother" line in "The Black Paladins". The answer is excellent and worth a ready if you haven't seen it on my blog already.
Breaking it down:
KL is not queerbait. KL was never planned as a potential ship and LM/JDS said so multiple times. They said it never occurred to them as a possibility and by the time KL's popularity took off they were too far along in the writing to try and go back and make changes, because animators need time to draw. LM flat-out said she was surprised that it became a thing. If the producers are telling you over and over in no uncertain terms that a ship had never been on the table and couldn't be added to the table now, that's not a case of queerbait. And they spoke of Lance's love interests as female every single time. JDS/LM never said anything that would lead fans into thinking KL was a possibility without the deliberate and willful misinterpreting of their words.
Adam/Shiro is not queerbait. Adam is a minor character in a series with a large cast. He has two functions: to be evidence of Shiro's status as a queer man and to be a "face" for all the pilots that died in the first wave of Sendak's invasion. Some people try to claim that LM and JDS queerbaited with their answers at SDCC 2018, but they're wrong. The only thing LM said was that we would see more of Adam in S7. And we did. She did not promise we'd see more of him with Shiro. That was people inserting what they wanted to hear, just like them trying to elevate Adam's status to a fiancé when again, LM clearly stated that they were serious and considering getting engaged. Not engaged. Not married. Just a couple that was serious about each other but broke up.
I don't consider Sheith to be true queerbait. It might fall under the cryptoqueer situation explained at the end of the post linked above, but JDS and LM were mostly very careful to talk of Sheith in terms of deep friendship and devotion to one another, after the initial wave of support for fan content during S1, prior to the klanti movement taking off. The only thing that skirts the line for me is a quote, I think from JDS, saying that if Shiro had a new love interest it would be someone he has known a long time. Or maybe that was about the romances in general being developed over seasons and not Shiro-specific - I would need to research. (Yet more proof that the endcard "wedding" was not planned since we didn't see the unnamed groom until S7 and they never interacted.) And that was said before studio execs started meddling and caused the trainwreck of S8.
I do think we were supposed to have an open ending for Sheith. Klantis like to point out a storyboard artist claiming that "no one wins" this ship war as evidence that KL was supposed to happen and got changed, but that statement applies if Sheith is left open-ended and Allurance happens, even without the endcards.
When I have a chance, I'll try and dig up the links for the various quotes I mention above. Thank you for reading if you made it this far!
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atoriv-art · 7 months ago
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asks :)
guess who let them pile up for months (meeeeeeee)
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tysm!!! i share a similar view wrt his hair :) i think it's a very fun way to interpret it given he's one of (/the?) only characters to ever go through a change like that! especially given his snake transformations i think it's completely plausible that he found himself mirroring the guy too much and wanted to distance himself from that lol
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thank youuuu it's one of my favorite things to draw honestly :) especially with the uchihas where their eyes are such an integral part of their character design hehe
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:D the positive reception to them honestly makes me really happy given they're a relatively obscure pairing hahahaha thank you!
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thank you so muuuch 🥺 my biggest goal with my art is capturing like, emotional snapshots of the little guys i like and i'm glad it comes through!! :]
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[ post linked ]
it's a fair question! i might elaborate more someday but atm the basic premise is that it's likely it'd be like a pragmatic deal between them? sasuke needs a source of strength and obito is both very powerful and a sharingan user, and obito has reason to look out for sasuke because of itachi hovering over his shoulder + if he trains sasuke correctly he can have a powerful ally on his side... which is i think?? the reason why obito let sasuke hang out with him for so long in canon but it went nowhere looooool
i find orochimaru's integration and then sudden exit from the plot to be a little bit messy so i like to think of ways of streamlining the process and just having sasuke be with the "main" naruto antagonists from an earlier date :0c with the rest of the kids still being with him as i am very fond of both karin and suigetsu ahahaha
i also find the idea of sasuke being in closer proximity to itachi during the timeskip (while still distant ofc) to be fun, like him being akatsuki-adjacent while itachi is also there brings fun scenarios to think about! + the fact itachi really doesn't like obito, so there's an added layer of 👀 as he hates that obito is the one training him but he can't really do anything abt it without showing his hand lol
and, the rest of the akatsuki interacting with a bunch of kids on a "friendly" level is a funny concept lmao
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grouping these together since i assume it was the same person ^^
kks headcanons: hmm i'm actually not sure! i think a lot about kakashi but im blanking on specific headcanons i have :P
top 5s: without much thought to ordering them i'd sayyy
characters: obito, kakashi, itachi, sasuke, and gaara or neji depending on my mood
pairings: sasuneji, sasugaa, kakaobi, itadei and kisaobi or sasusui
what got you into naruto: mostly being really curious about kakashi 😅 he seemed like the type of character i really would like so we watched a few episodes "for fun" just to meet him and then. you know.
thoughts on kakagai: i love kakagai i think it's super cute :)
do you like sasuke x naruto: people keep asking me this KSDJSKJD i'm ambivalent about the pairing, i can see why people like it but it's not for me
would you ever draw naruto (the character): possibly! just no real guarantee since i tend to focus on a small group of characters is all
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🥺 thank you so much!!! sorry about the 25 minutes hahahaha
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thank you so much!! if it helps any i struggle a lot with traditional art hahaha :P
i haven't ever drawn the rest of team 7 atm, no! if i ever do i'll definitely post it as it seems a lot of people are curious about them hahahah
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😭 tysm!!!!
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:D! i'm a firm believer that sasuke is one of the most sun-adjacent characters i've ever seen but alas he is cursed to be misunderstood because he's an emo boy 😔
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:] i'm glad!!! he's very fun to draw hehehe
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justmenoworries · 1 year ago
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Lore Olympus Episode 254 Spoilers
So, Apollo succesfully poisoned Zeus and, through a series of extremely convenient coincidences, has managed to get Eros and Psyche, the only two deities who know it was him, out of the way for now.
Does he...
A) ...keep away from the scene of the crime, so as to not be associated or draw suspicion onto himself
B) ...pretend to not know what Zeus is afflicted with and call emergency services together with Hebe to feign being a worried son so that he's less likely to be suspected by the authorities
or C) ...unecessarily frame someone else with no solid evidence whatsoever and call not medical services or the police, but the media, in the process getting as many eyes on him as possible which is the last thing a murderer should want?
If you picked anything other than C), congratulations.
Not only do you still have some good faith left for this comic, you're also a better writer than RS. (Not that the last one is a high bar to cross.)
So Apollo wants to frame someone else for his crime. Well luckily for him, there is already an established deity among the cast who doesn't get along with Zeus, has expressed the desire to overthrow him multiple times and is known for having a bad temper as well as having a grudge against hi-
It's Hebe.
He chooses to frame Hebe.
You know, one of the few gods on Olympus who has absolutely no reason to want Zeus dead and gone.
Just... why?
Ares was right fucking there!
If you absolutely needed to frame someone (which, just as a side note, you absolutely didn't) why not choose the war deity who everyone knows gets regularly banished to the Mortal Relam because of how much he doesn't get along with Zeus???
I mean, the best explanation I can think of is that this is supposed to reference how Hebe lost her position as cupbearer of the gods because of Apollo in one version of the myths, but if that is the case... wow, that's an extremely contrived and clumsy way to incorporate that into LO.
So, Persephone's deal with Erebus somehow altered her powers and now she can no longer make plants grow and only causes cold and decay whenever she tries.
And the winter that was essentially Demeter's power play in the original myth is now not only given to Persie but made into a terrible consequence of wanting power for herself. To save everybody she loved, might I add.
So empowering.
So feminist.
And as always when Persie screws up, she does what she does best:
Cry foul and beg someone else to fix it, then throw a tantrum when said someone else actually does try just that.
RS really misses no chance to try and villainize Demeter. Even if Demeter is absolutely, completely, undeniably in the right, she always has to be the eeevil mother-in-law making Hades feel bad.
And that's no different here.
Demeter is right, this is Hades' fault.
If he'd kept his damn mouth shut about the pomegranates or at least elaborated on the price one has to pay to get the Underworld's power, maybe his noveau riche wife wouldn't currently be killing all life in the Mortal Realm.
And the way he doesn't even try to dissuade Persie from "helping" and just watches as she keeps making everything worse because "lulz, I'm not gonna be a controlling husband and stop my wife from killing people".
But hey, this is the same guy who rewarded Persie with sex for breaking and entering and making death threats against a nymph. At least we're keeping it in-character. /s
Oh look, Persie has conveniently passed out from the strain so she won't have to deal with the direct consequences of her actions.
Wonder what kind of deus ex machina will absolve her of all responsibility this time.
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galvanizedfriend · 1 year ago
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what do you think about the baby plotlines? about hope and the twins? do you think they ruined any chance of klaroline being together? or do you think kc could have been together for real and had a good relationship if the babies didn't exist?
This might seem surprising since I have written over a million words of baby fic (although I will argue that it's not a baby fic, it's a fic that contains a baby, which is very different 😌), but I hate the baby plot. I'm a clown. 🤡
It's not about Hope or the twins in particular, nothing against them, I just think that suddenly including magical babies in a supernatural story about vampires is just about the stupidest thing you can do. Vampires are not supposed to have babies, period. I remember watching the backdoor pilot episode of The Originals not having the slightest clue what to expect because I wasn't in fandom back then, or even following anything about TVD, just watched the episodes as they came out, and the moment they revealed The Originals' move to New Orleans was about a baby, I turned off my TV. Whoever thought that giving Klaus A BABY was the best thing they could do for him, is an idiot that should've been fired on spot.
If they wanted to explore the whole father-child situation, drawing from Klaus' immense well of daddy issues, they could've used Marcel. It would've been so much more powerful and so much more interesting. The thought that Klaus, out of all the Originals, would just decide to embrace fatherhood after getting a one-night stand he didn't even like accidentally pregnant makes NO SENSE AT ALL. This is the man who stabbed his siblings and carried them around in coffins as a love language. And people want me to believe that this violence-first, emotionally constipated hybrid would want to raise a child. Sure.
As for Caroline's pregnancy - I guess once you have established that Klaus could make magical babies, then anything was possible. The excuse they used that Candice was pregnant was so dumb though. So many movies and shows have been shot while the actresses were heavily pregnant, but their characters weren't. Catherine Zeta Jones was six or seven months pregnant in Chicago. Everyone in Grey's Anatomy had babies. Ellen Pompeo had three onscreen babies but none of them were written to match her real life pregnancies. In fact, Candice had to wear a prosthetic belly because she wasn't pregnant ENOUGH. So stupid.
HAVING SAID THAT. I don't think the babies were the reason why Klaroline didn't happen. At the end of the day, it wouldn't have been something that would've kept them apart if the writers had wanted to go there. If anything, babies could've brought them closer. I mean, Klaus should've been completely inept when it comes to taking care of another human being who's entirely dependent upon him. Caroline, as a carer at heart, could've seamlessly fit into the narrative. And especially after they gave her babies as well, they could've easily connected through their snowflake kids.
In fact, my personal headcanon (somewhat backed by real canon) is that they did. Klaus gave her money for her school, and while I don't think he did it so he could send Hope there later on as Legacies tried to make us believe, I do think the reason he ended up allowing Hope to attend the school was BECAUSE Caroline was there. He trusted her with his daughter, in a way he probably wouldn't have trusted anyone else, particularly because he was absent. He needed to know she would be safe and in good hands, and that was definitely not because of Alaric. And I also think they kept in touch during all those years where Hope went to school there and he went on a murder bend around Europe. Hayley couldn't get a hold of him, but Rebekah IMMEDIATELY knew who she could reach out to to find him. If Caroline hadn't seen or spoken to him in 15 years, that would make no sense. The way Klaus is all 'Trying not to flatter myself that you're here on a sudden whim to see me' implies more intimacy than two people who hadn't spoken in over a decade would've had. They were definitely in touch. How much touching was involved is up to your imagination. :)
One thing I wish Legacies had explored was Caroline's relationship with Hope. They obviously had one, we were just never shown it, which is sad, because there were so many interesting layers that could've been explored. It's also in my personal headcanon that Lizzie would've been fascinated with Klaus had him and Caroline ever had a chance to be together and he got to hang around her kids as well, and the irony that her middle name is Jenna is just delicious (Klaus wouldn't have felt the slightest bit of remorse). It would've given Alaric so much grief.
In conclusion, Klaroline could've been together with or without the babies. They weren't what was standing between them. Stupid writing was.
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kiraoho · 11 months ago
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The Church on Ruby Road and the importance of full systems in storytelling
I've studied math logic in uni, and a really helpful concept I've gotten from there was the properties of rulesets.
One of the more talked-about ones is consistency. If your ruleset is contradictory, anything can follow as a result.
Similarly, there's fullness. If your ruleset is missing some rules, it can be completed with *any* rule not contradicting the existing ones (for example you can complete geometry with Euclidean "You can only draw one line parallel to the given one" or Lobachevsky's "You can draw at least two" and they will work very differently). While more restricting, it still leaves an uncomfortable wiggle room.
But why is this important? After all, isn't it more exciting when anything can happen?
Well, yes and no. While it's great to throw your characters into new situations, it's important to understand the ground rules of the story -- what characters can and can't do. If the solution to the problem is "I just so happen to have a magic sword that solves this particular kind of problems" then it's not an engaging solution, is it? Tension comes from the lack of possibility for resolution, from not knowing, how the characters are gonna solve this. There's no tension if the solution can be pulled out of one's ass.
A great example of more-or-less full system is AtLA. We know waterbenders can control existing water, but can't create new one. This results in interesting premises like Katara sweating to generate some water or the possibility of bloodbending. The limitations of a character's abilities is precisely what makes problem solving engaging in the first place.
With that said, how the fuck is the luck/coincidence mechanic supposed to work in The Church on Ruby Road?
"Coincidence makes babies delicious" works great as a starting point. It's simple, it explains why the goblin target a particular baby and ties Ruby into the story.
But throughout the episode it gradually shifts to "Coincidence grants goblins power", except it's never explicitly shown? This is where fullness starts to break, because we're not given the details of how this manifests. A simple throwaway "It allows them to surf the time waves", for example, would've given a clear consequence -- pointing out the coincidences allows the goblins to steal baby Ruby.
Instead the episode goes for "bad vibes are happening" route. While it does a similar thing narratively, it robs the story of the tension because the viewer doesn't have a clear understanding of the consequences of failure.
The same goes for the bad luck mechanic. The story doesn't bother to connect it with the coincidence one, it just says they're linked. Do accidents create coincidence? Do goblins direct her life with accidents to create more coincidences? Except it doesn't seem to work this way, every hurdle we see her go through is either inconsequential in terms of her agency onward or just deadly.
Is it just mischief? Then why is accident-proofing the flat is a high priority? I have no idea what the Doctor and Ruby are doing or hoping to achieve in the scene and what would be the result of their success or failure in this.
I'm dreading the astrology era of the show, where any question can be dismissed with a handwave or an unsatisfying non-answer. Please let me be wrong on this one.
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beddhead-red · 7 months ago
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(asking very nicely) i would like to meet juno :3
re:
Juno is a character I made for use in literate RP on a Discord server a buddy of mine hosted/is hosting. Said server ran for a while, then died and was replaced with a server he is currently working on. Said friend is well known among all of the people involved for writing some absolutely fantastic, but absolutely deranged things. The RP is only partially important for the context; I could go deep into it but it's mostly irrelevant.
As for Juno, the initial basis for her was remembering this post.
The last major character I made for this sort of thing (Casper, who is a whole other can of worms) played a similar role, but was also just significantly more of a weirdo in all directions. 90% of the time in any given scene he was completely silent regardless of the situation, and he was built to essentially be an obedient lapdog who could and would take any abuse dealt to him, while doing virtually anything in service of his superior. He was well-meaning and ultimately would defy anyone's command in pursuit of better things, but typically spent most of his time led by other characters in the cast.
Juno, by contrast, was the most active participant in her story, and by virtue of the way the server was run, ended up taking most of the focus.
Ms. Volkov's backstory was very generalized, probably because I'd done it a few times over and it's not super important outside of a few major details.
She was born in the setting's equivalent of Russia (Novasibirsk), and a little later her younger brother was born. In circumstances I wasn't exactly clear on, they ended up out on the streets. Juno quickly realized that she was the only one who could keep herself and, more importantly, her brother alive. Through wit, skill, and a good bit of dedication, Juno always found work, and always managed to provide just enough for her and her brother to live modestly, if not comfortably.
This involved a good bit of criminal enterprising, often of a particularly violent nature. She would track people, she would sell information on them, and quite often, she would kill them. This skill set will prove particularly useful later. The kind of life they led gives her a lot of appreciation for small necessities, and made her very pragmatic and resilient.
Anywhere they traveled, it was together. Her entire life's purpose became protecting and providing for her little brother.
In a set of circumstances which hasn't been very clearly defined yet, he ended up being killed.
This is where things get spicy, predictably.
She was sure the man who killed him was dead. She could get no satisfaction in that direction, so she looked elsewhere. Through her underworld connections, Juno happened to get into contact with a man known to those in the know simply as The Alchemist. He is one of the most powerful people in the whole of the underworld, both in terms of criminality, and literally, in his connection to the occult. She paid this man to bring her brother back to life.
Needless to say, this didn't go well.
I haven't come to a full answer as to what the ending of this event is, but needless to say, the Alchemist was more interested in his own perverse interests in human experimentation than he was in bringing her brother back as he was. This made Juno very angry. Very angry indeed.
The Alchemist had taken what she gave him, stole even the closure of having his body to lay to rest, defiled his memory, and left Juno in the dust, at her lowest possible moment, with nothing left to live for.
But Juno Volkov is a particularly tenacious woman. One might say viciously stubborn.
Juno had one purpose, which was to keep him alive. She made two mistakes. She let him die. That much she had already remedied, or at least tried to, leading her to her second mistake.
Trusting him.
Juno's one purpose in life was to protect her brother. Now that she has failed that completely, she has only one other reason to live.
Getting revenge.
So she picks herself up, chases down every possible lead she can, leading her to one place. The most dangerous, run down, hard-bitten vision of the underworld that exists in the setting. Fortressgrad. The abyss, if ever there was one. It's said if you stare into the abyss for long enough, the abyss stares back.
Mention must certainly be given to what it is to survive in that abyss. If all that lives in those walls are monsters, then to enter is to become something monstrous yourself.
She's not terribly afraid. In fact, she feels right at home here, as much as it makes her skin crawl.
She'll find him, even if it kills her. In fact, maybe that's preferable. Maybe this is a suicide mission, and maybe she even knows it. Maybe that's what she's after.
But at the end of the day, she will kill him, no matter what it costs her.
...And that's where we are! At the outset, anyway. Like I said, we got a little bit into progression from here in the first server, and now we're waiting to get back to it in this one. There are some other important figures I should probably mention before I go further, who are characters made by other people.
Nicholas Briar is known as The Driver because the joke in the server is quite literally that he's the main character from Drive starring Ryan Gosling. He's a bit more nuanced than that, but his whole vibe is based on that. He's a cool dude, he drives, it's true. He is a local resident of the general Fortressgrad area, and as a consequence, is very generally aware of goings on around, particularly in the underworld. Hence, he's notably useful to Juno in that he might be able to provide her with some leads related to this supervillain on his doorstep.
Nick is a cool, sociable guy, who oozes charisma and likes making friends. Juno is a very closed off, all business kind of woman, and doesn't even blink at any of Nick's attempts to befriend her. She makes it overwhelmingly clear to him that despite extending courteous gestures to him (which include handing him a granola bar, letting him stand under her umbrella, and helping him kill some guys who were threatening them), she works alone, and isn't interested in maintaining their relationship once this is all over.
Nick just grins, shrugs his shoulders, and keeps right on being friendly as ever.
Nick himself might have a bit of a fucked up past that maybe ties into Juno's in a rather fucked up way that might end up getting him killed, but that comes later.
Celeste Majorelle is a girlfailure in every sense of the word. She's a short, dorky little woman who also happens to be in the same area, and why is anyone's guess. She's a small ray of sunshine in an endless chasm of darkness. She's a cinnamon bun and has about as many braincells as one. Fortressgrad is filled with countless horrors which you either acclimate to or you die, and Celeste's means of acclimating is screaming, running, crying, and having normal ass human reactions to the freak-ass beasts that show up, and then going around being a goofball whenever she has free time.
At any given moment in the RP, Celeste is typically the only one having fun.
She plays on Juno's older sister urge something fierce. She never says anything, but everything about how Celeste acts fills her with a need to protect her. She, more than anyone, illustrates that although Juno may seem like a cold person, she has a very warm and soft interior which she shows to people she has affection for. That maybe includes Nick, and some other parts to the cast, but it especially includes Celeste.
Are they, in fact, lesbiabs? Maybe a little. Depends how much my buddy Matt tries to push the issue. Both are bisexual. The way I'm using her narratively is absolutely disastrous, anyway.
The way I describe Juno's story is very simple; She is a rat who has been stabbed, bleeding alone in its cage. She will never leave that cage without somebody else forcing her to. If a hand tries to pick the rat up, it will fight. If you try to pick her up out of the cage and dress her wounds, she will struggle; she will bite; she will scratch; she will kick; she will do anything in her power to escape the hand and return to the safety of the cage, in spite of her own understanding that she will die in there.
She will never save herself. Someone else has to save her.
Celeste is the best candidate, and she is really, really, trying her best. WIll she save her? Find out next time, on Dragon Ball-
To summarize the points of my grubby little PI which will likely enrapture the strange lesbians eating my garbage, Juno:
-has a slight russian accent (& can speak russian)
-knows how to use most guns you can hand her (and will)
-knows how to drive a motorcycle (and maybe owned one at one point)
-is so invested in the pursuit that she occasionally forgets to take care of herself (often to the point of collapsing, i also frequently describe how the clothes she's wearing need a wash)
-used to smoke, doesn't anymore, might start again
-owns a flip phone, mostly plays snake on it
-will probably put a gun in your mouth to shut you up if you piss her off
-drinks coffee black
-is slightly autistic (there is more than one instance where she creates a very awkward and noticeable lull in conversation before she just continues straight in like absolutely nothing happened)
-is 26 years old (very legal)
I probably have other simple facts I can list off, but she's just a little freak doomed by the narrative, wont to be covered in blood, sweat, and rainwater, dedicated to a fault, hunting one of the most powerful figures in her setting in a suicide mission for someone she loved, while someone who loves her is trying to save her with increasing desperation. She's my pathetic little meow meow and I enjoy her a lot.
I haven't really discussed this important fact but it is vital to note that while Juno is explicitly cool and really competent at everything she does, she's also a huge dork. Like she explicitly does some things because she thinks they're really cool, and if she fucks them up and like ends up falling flat on her face she straight up just picks herself up and walks off like nothing happened.
She can and will kill you if she needs to, but if she doesn't, she'll actually be very nice to you, she's just dedicating her entire focus to...yknow, killing someone.
I also have this playlist which grows with relative frequency. I hope you enjoyed this silly little foray into learning about one of my little freaks.
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corpocyborg · 8 months ago
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Questions for Writers
Tagged by @merge-conflict! (Thank you!)
Last book I read: Nonfiction - "The Unfolding of Language" by Guy Deutscher, Fiction - "Children of the Mind" by Orson Scott Card
Greatest literary inspirations: Valerie Locke (my V, from "Secure Your Soul" and "Beyond the Event Horizon") is largely inspired by two characters - Peter Wiggin from the Ender's Game Series by Orson Scott Card and Coriolanus Snow from The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes by Suzanne Collins. In fact, her last name comes from Peter Wiggin's propaganda-spreading alter ego, Locke. One thing I really loved in TBOSAS is the disconnect because Coryo's internal dialogue and his external behavior. He is charismatic on the outside, but judgemental and selfish on the inside. So I definitely draw inspiration from the way Collins wrote that contrast when I write my V. Peter Wiggin is similar, although it isn't written in the same way because he doesn't narrate and the main narrators (Ender and Valentine) can see through his facade. But still he manages to take over the world with just the power of controlling the narrative.
Things in my current fandoms I want to read but I don't want to write: I don't think I have this problem because I always want to write all my ideas. If anything, I need to work on less projects all at the same time 'cause I don't make enough progress on any one individual project.
Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: To be honest, I think all of my premises would have an audience. Hopefully that doesn't sound arrogant, but mostly I just mean that all the fandoms I want to write for (Cyberpunk 2077, Mass Effect, Star Wars: The Old Republic) have active fanbases in terms of fanfic readers and I think my premises are all ones that at least some people would find interesting.
You can recognize my writing by: Villain and/or ruthless hero protagonists, lots of em-dashes, characters whose internal state doesn't match their external behavior, outgoing protagonists who are talkative and excitable, characters having lengthy internal monologues in the middle of a conversation, beginning dialogue with words like "Hmm...", "Well...", "I mean...", etc. and then interrupting with a dialogue tag and moving on to the rest of the line (i.e., "Well," she said, "I don't see how that will help us.")
My most controversial take (current fandom): I like to write for Corpo V and Renegade Shepard. I think Corpo V is fairly popular, but even so, I think a lot of people don't consider Devil Ending their canon because it's so depressing. My version of Devil Ending is even more depressing than canon. I'm almost certain Paragon Shepard and Paragade Shepard are significantly more popular than Renegade Shepard, especially my version, who makes pretty much every worst possible decision (doesn't cure the genophage and kills Wrex and Mordin and doesn't let the geth live, etc.).
Top three favorite tropes: Both corruption arcs and redemption arcs. The Mastermind as a character archetype. AUs in general.
What’s your current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut): Honestly, it's hard to say because it changes a lot in a fairly short time-frame. I do most of my writing in huge bursts where I am highly productive for hours at a time, and then I don't write again for weeks.
Share a random frustration: Like I said earlier, it's hard for me to avoid taking on too many projects at once. I think I also have a tendency to start sharing a little too early and then wanting to go back and edit after the fact. I get overly excited, I guess.
And, finally, I tag @ghostoffuturespast, @fereldanwench, and @another-corpo-rat.
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silversiren1101 · 1 year ago
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9, 16, and 18!
Oc Asks Game
Hey Spyri! Thanks for the asks! I'll do them for both Mino and Moro!
9. What is your character's trigger point? What makes them angry, sad or makes them go off?
Minovae: Pointless cruelty, abuse of the law, injustice, and selfishness.
Pretty clear-cut, Mino has a bleeding heart as much as she has a sense of righteousness about lawfulness and the "intent" of a laws versus how they're literally interpreted. Her vision for lawful society is one where the laws apply to all equally and consider intent as much as action; where laws more abused than not are stricken from the record and abusers subjected to the hammer of justice; and happiness and health and prioritized far more than any sense of productivity.
Instances of cruelty without point and the law being twisted to hurt the very people she's given her life to serve are enough to draw forth the "Little Linnorm" side of her: expect little mercy.
Other hot-button issues for her are of course racism and classism and other types of prejudice for what someone is rather than who. She's been subjected to much her entire life (and people she cares about!) and has no patience or tolerance for it. She will only ever care about a person's actions in terms of judging them.
Morolai: Disrespect and feeling powerless
Morolai is simple: treat her like she's a goddess on this earth and also make her feel powerful and in-charge. Anything else is going to turn her into a clawing, biting, acid-spitting beast.
Part of that goes into respecting extensions of herself, too, though: her chosen companions and her nation! A dragon is nothing without their hoard, no? Well, things she cares about are part of the hoard. Any disrespect against them is against herself, and she takes such slights incredibly personally.
16. What do they look for in a friend? A love interest?
Minovae: Mino makes friends easily! In fact, it'd be more accurate that people start out as Friend-adjacent to her and are then downgraded when she finds out more about them that she doesn't like, lol. She loves mortals and just the experience of being alive with others and coexisting, that sharing of experiences and stories and knowledge... She values having a varied friend group so she can share in as many lives and experiences as possible! That being said, she looks for friends that aren't pointlessly cruel or maliciously evil.
As for love interests, Mino makes a ton of friends easily because she's demiromantic. It takes a LOT for her to actually fall in love, not really developing any crushes or anything. Her love interests are almost always based on qualities she lacks but subconsciously wishes she had herself. Her first relationship was with a Desnan cleric that was very carefree, didn't quite follow the rules and just did what they thought was 'right', and was very proud of their brightly colored hair and other unorthodox features... Said cleric also left her to die to ghouls, too scared to fight to save her only to perish to them anyways, but... well first loves don't often go that well do they?
With Regill: she admires his ability to be completely unaffected by any prejudice and complete acceptance of himself; wishes she had even a fraction of his finality and confidence in herself; and, believe it or not, did wish she was a little bit more ruthless! She also adores his passion (which most people don't understand since he seems so stoic but she'll go off on it let me tell ya lol) and drive and ability to admit his mistakes and faults (which plays into his confidence) and complete and utter selflessness of course.
Morolai: Friends... I suppose Morolai would consider her companions her friends. It takes, uh, a long time for that to happen. Basically anyone that has stuck with her through life and death situations, have proven they will die for her or suffer on her behalf, and actually care about her will earn the coveted title of "her friend"... give or take a few years!
For love: first off I'm not sure if she's capable of such a genuinely selfless feeling. Her 'love' is entirely toxic and selfishness, a possessiveness of someone body and soul such that they are devoted entirely to her. They must be entirely subservient to her, worship the ground she walks on, and yet also have the intuition of what they can and cannot do with/for/around her (with the drive to do what needs to be done if she does not expressly order or request it). It's a tough job, but let's not call it entirely thankless.
She does take care of her beloved toys/tools/pets.
18. Describe your character through a Brooklyn 99 gif or line.
omfg love this question.
Minovae:
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Morolai:
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melis-hellis · 2 years ago
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Onward's 3rd Anniversary - A (Long) Self-Reflection Post
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three years. three gosh darn years old. you're not allowed to be three years old, onward.
the world has obviously changed a lot since this humble pixar film came into my life. when it released, i was an 18-year-old in senior year of high school, and now i'm a 21-year-old junior in college. animation has changed a whole lot, and has been challenged by the perpetrators of the stigma more than ever. and for me...well, there have been a ton of developments in just these past several months.
for two and a half years, this film was my entire life. it was the only thing i thought about. i created tons of art and stories to expand upon this universe that deserved more love. i adored and connected with the characters...i hadn't quite related to a pixar film this much. i connected with the depiction of loving siblings, the emotions, the fantasy world...i've adored animated films before, but not to this extent.
and despite the film's unfortunate reputation - viruses, lawsuits, lesbian cops and all - i wasn't alone in my love. there was a small group of people on this very website who shared my love for this underrated gem, and we came together to create amazing things. we lifted each other up during dark times, and while things weren't always perfect, we powered through.
what's so unique about this particular anniversary is that this is the first one where i'm not active in the fandom. in fact, i'm not the only one who's inactive - most of my friends have also moved on to other things. but our love never went away. if my love went away, i wouldn't be writing out this post. but i'll be honest - i tried to draw a fanart last night, and i couldn't put anything on that procreate canvas. and it breaks my heart because i wish i could put out something like fanart today. but given my business with other fandoms, this post will suffice.
my one major goal i had in this fandom was to complete at least one season of my fanmade series. and that i did - my series was loved throughout this small fandom and seeing the reactions every time i posted an episode warmed my heart. on onward's 2nd anniversary - one year ago today - i completed the first season and started preparing for the second one. by the end of may i began scripting, and i was really getting in the groove...until late june.
something started feeling off by the end of june. i didn't want to admit the possibility of my onward hyperfixation waning, but that's what it felt like. it felt like the magic was being sucked from me. i blame lightyear partially for this; the film was so underwhelming that it soured pixar a little bit for me, and between that and dreamworks coming back with banger movies again, it made me stop paying attention to disney for a bit. i began looking back at older fandoms again.
july and august came and went, and while i still had a bit of onward motivation in me, it wasn't enough to continue writing. i did all i could - but nothing would bring it back up.
then i started junior year of college on august 22nd, 2022. a few days before, the whole warner discovery HBO max fiasco went down, and put the future of TAWOG - one of my old special interests - in jeopardy. while that special interest was a in a dark place...the youtube channel of the special interest i had directly before disney/pixar/onward hit one million subscribers.
in the 2010's caddicarus fandom, the prospect of him hitting one million subs felt like a legend. something that wouldn't really happen. back when i came along in 2014, he was projected to hit one million in 2017, as this was his peak in popularity. but as time went on, that 1 million goal moved further and further away as jim kept steering the channel into its demise. he had no self-awareness and felt he had to grind and pop out videos like rabbits to keep his numbers up...which, if you were a fan at the time, you probably knew was not true. the videos lost their quality and magic...and, funnily enough...i lost my patience on march 7th, 2019.
i unsubbed that day, but i'd been irritated with the channel's output for a while before that.
of course, if you know me, you know the story - exactly one year later, i saw onward in theaters with my sister and my life was changed. after a year of changing between many different fandoms - jontron, game grumps, seeing TAWOG for the last time before its finale, vinesauce, ducktales - pixar was now my new special interest home. the subsequent lockdown was a time where i produced tons of edits, fanarts, and fanfiction experiments.
on the caddicarus side of things, jim almost shut down the channel in late 2019 as his numbers were at their absolute worst. after having an epiphany at a convention in january 2020, he completely shook up his content style, and his channel was suddenly rejuvenated, bringing him the largest figures in the channel's history. before 2020, every caddicarus video gaining a minimum of 1 million views was completely unheard of, let alone none of the videos being under 30 minutes.
what's so ironic is that caddy began making banger videos again around the same time i got with onward. and yet i completely refused to watch them. i knew what was going on, i knew people were saying the newer videos were better. but i couldn't make myself watch them.
i had actually tried to come back for my 7th anniversary in august of 2021 - fun fact, my caddica-versary is august 21st, one day before august 22nd, aka what's now 1 million sub day - but i had just committed to my onward series, and i couldn't have another interest interrupting me.
so another year passes, and we're back at august 2022. i watch caddy cross over to 1 million subs, and it doesn't feel real at first.
i didn't immediately return to the fandom, but i knew in my mind that i needed to go somewhere as my onward hyperfix was thinning.
so what's the last thing i create in the onward fandom? do i draw an elaborate fanart? do i put out at least one episode of the second season i'd been hyping and pushing back for months? do i tease even more OCs and episode ideas? do i put out another chapter of that other fanfic i was writing? or a one-shot?
...on august 28th, 2022, the last things i ever created in the onward fandom were these two fortnite dancing gifs.
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this reminds me a lot of alex lasarenko and his disney channel jingle. he's created a lot of breathtaking orchestral pieces - and yet the thing he's most known for are those four notes that have been used on the disney channel for over 20 years. for me and onward, the thing i go out on are these two silly gifs...and honestly? i don't mind that.
the following friday, i finally began watching the 2020-present caddicarus videos...and it was like falling in love with the channel all over again. i love both the original and current runs of the caddicarus show for completely different reasons - but the current run is the one i rewatch, quote, and remember the most of. because it's actually amazing.
needless to say, i resubbed that night, and i could comfortably call myself a caddicarus fan again.
something very funny about this is whole thing is that caddy says the word "onward" a whole lot. like, a whole lot. on interviews and streams, he usually brings up how new fans should only watch his videos from 2020 onwards. in his video talking about his merch box, he says the jokes and references within the box are from his videos from 2020 onwards.
it's like pixar had been sending me a subliminal message this whole time - onward (2020) came out just as caddy's videos became the best they've ever been. pixar was basically telling me "hey, caddy's moving onward too, so you should give his newer stuff a try and stop thinking he's living in the past".
here we are at onward's 3rd anniversary, and i'm still waiting for my caddicarus blu-ray to arrive. it'll be the first caddicarus merchandise i'll be able to hold in my hands and cherish - back when i was a teen, i couldn't just ask for caddicarus T-shirts as my parents couldn't find out that a swearing youtuber was my big special interest. and now, when that box arrives, i will have merchandise of all the major special interests i've had. i'd finally added the missing piece to the puzzle - or maybe for this case, a missing brick in the wall, or... the last check on the bucket list...
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...and i've never felt more complete.
thank you pixar. thank you onward. thank you dan scanlon, kori rae, tom holland, chris pratt, literally everyone who made this movie a reality. no matter how much it's overlooked, memed on, dogged on, etc., there are people who adore this film for what it is and the emotions it has brought. it has helped me with many of my personal struggles, and to this day it stands as a glowing reminder that we should all strive to keep moving onward.
so, with all that said, keep putting it in O my friends. because you'll never be ready if you don't try.
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recurring-polynya · 2 years ago
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Writing Update/Art Update 5/9/2023
Many things happened last week. Not very many of them were drawing. I'll get back to that.
I have finally started posting the big (it's not really big. Medium-big. It just felt big) fanfic that I have working on for most of the year. You can start here if you want to read it, Chapters 1-3 are currently available.
I finished the smut. I had mostly finished it by Friday, but then we had a belated-because-we-were-waiting-for-spring-weather backyard birthday party for my daughter this past weekend, so I had to spend a solid 48 hours in the paralyzing deathgrip of anxiety at the prospect of socializing with people I don't know (the parents of some of my daughter's classmates), so I didn't get much of anything else done, although I did clean my house and buy a bunch of hot dogs.
I only got one doodle done this week, which took me three days, spread out over the anxiety deathgrip, but I'm pretty pleased with how it came out. I really would like to start on a more serious project this week, but I may get back to them, we'll see how it goes. I do want to thank everyone who sent in prompts, and I'm sorry I haven't gotten to more of them. Turns out I'm real bad at doing quick, fast-turnaround doodles! Is anyone surprised??
After that, like, I said, I finished up the porno. I was hoping to post it yesterday, but it was pretty late at night by the time I finished my editing sweep. Today was a go places posting day and I didn't really want to post two different fanfics in one day, plus I had made kind of a lot of edits, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to let it sit a day and then do another sweep before posting. In other words, tomorrow, probably.
This morning, I re-read what I've gotten written so far of Ductwork, which is the working title of the next story in the Heart is a Muscle. It's 7707 words at the moment, and I get hot mad every time I read it because I want there to be more of it, and unfortunately, there is only one way to make that happen. But it's gonna!! I keep telling myself that it was really worthwhile to have taken the time to write go places first, because Ductwork is largely about Rukia and Renji finally digging down into a lot of festering insecurities from that time in their afterlives. I have a couple different approaches to writing these days, and I'm gonna try to do the thing that ended up working for go places, which is 1) try to write something every day, 2) chronological schmonological, write whatever I can possibily come up with, I'll just cram it all together at the end, this was very fun and easy last time and definitely did not take six drafts and a color-coded spreadsheet. Based on past experience, I do not think I am going to be able to power through to completion, so my goal is to add at least 20k words to the thing before I flame out in a blaze of beautiful depression and spend the rest of the summer on something insane, like bringing back the Soul Society Tattoo Artist AU. My overall prediction is that it will be around 60k, but I'm not discounting the possibility that it could be another 100k-er. (it better not go over 120k tho, I will die for real)
Anyway, that was my week! Whew!
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marshmallowprotection · 1 year ago
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you know what kait . after terrorizing you with my lettuce unknown posts, and following you for three billion days. i will. perhaps request a matchup? am very curious
hmm. i'm a guy, not sure about orientation but idc about gender. i am a perfectionist freak and i overthink everything forever (ocd gang rise up). if i could annotate my own thoughts i would...i worry a lot of how others percieve me, even when im self-aware it doesnt matter much.
i'd enjoy having control over my life completely and. i'd feel better if i could control how all situations pan out for me, but sadly thats not usually possible. so i enjoy having small moments where i can decide for myself.. so i enjoy alone time a lot.. deciding where to walk or what store to go to on my own. yknow.
i'm happiest outside, in the sun and the grass. i enjoy just wandering around outside, even if i have no destination. i like painting, drawing, listening to music very loud and playing silly videogames. i really enjoy hugs and pets and what not but i tend to be very closed off according to people, as in, i struggle to share anything too personal so no one knows me that well actually. im. trying to fix that. not very good trait to make friends
anyways. i like cats crows and snails. emo/punk aesthetic. yes. ty. ^^
I match you with...
SE Saeran!
You're the kind of person who values your autonomy. You may not be able to control everything in your life but God you wish you could. Because sometimes when things get way out of control and beyond what you expected, the only thing you want to do is know you're going to be safe no matter what, and seemingly, the thought process in that situation is believing if you had control over yourself you would be able to maintain your composure and survive anything. At your core, the only thing you want to do is try to experience the world for what it is, and even if it's messy, you want to do things your way just to know what it feels like. Individuality is valued more than anything and while it may be a double-edged sword for you at times, it is a powerful trait to have.
Life isn't like that, and while it is unfair, it's nice to have somebody who understands what you're going through. Who else in this world other than SE Saeran could know what that feels like? He's been robbed of his autonomy over and over and over again; It is a nightmare to realize every morning when he wakes up that he's not going to be able to have control over everything he does. He is well aware that he's trapped, even if he's not trapped like before, and one of the only things that would make him feel better in spite of all that would be having you there with him.
The two of you settle into comfortable silence most of the time, hands coiled tightly around each other, and every now and again you share a look of understanding. It's not over the top. It's peaceful. What you and him crave more than anything is a resounding world of peace that allows you to know what it sounds like to lay underneath the clouds and hear the birds chirp freely. Even if the rest of the world doesn't understand either of you, you understand each other and that's enough.
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