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#i'm not dead just tired and depressed
thelifelessgirl · 1 year
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Everyone gets tired of me at some point.
Then eventually they’ll leave.
They all do.
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dreamdirector · 2 years
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Still thinking of you… how beautiful your soul is and I miss you still. Everyday. 💔
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cartoonghosts · 2 months
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not vibing i feel like my depression has been sneaking up on me like I thought I was good for so long and this isn't even sudden and I'm genuinely considering death I don't know what's going in, I'm enjoying life and things are good but fuck I don't want to do this anymore. The trees aren't as beautiful as they used to be. I think it's ending.
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howwnowbrowncoww · 4 months
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god i want to fucking cry
i had an appointment with a neurologist like 3 weeks ago and i've been calling back since then trying to get anyone to give me some goddamn answers about my MRI and apparently each time my request was being denied and nobody was bothering to call and let me know?? And now i have to meet with another doctor to discuss my request in-person but i have to wait an entire month for the appointment.
i just want to fix my fucking migraines, why does the health system suck so bad
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fenharael · 1 year
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The next 5 days are going to suck incredible ass but it will only be 5 days and then I'll be home
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daz4i · 1 year
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i am so angry about being alive it's not even funny anymore
#what's the point in any of this 😐 i will literally never be okay. i never have been okay. I've had debilitating anxiety since birth#it's not going to go away it's literally getting worse as i grow older and so is my depression#hate to hear ppl say it gets better when I've been gradually getting worse since i was like 13#which is extremely funny. bc when i was 13 is when most of my suicide attempts took place#at least i was active and took initiative back then 🙄 i only became too tired to keep trying since#i don't want to kill myself i just want to be dead. I'm tired. I'm angry. I'm always feeling awful. nothing is worth it#even when i feel good it's like 1% of how bad i always feel. and it's not like there's much good to go around anyway#i don't understand now people don't constantly feel like losing their mind over how shit life is truly#there's this line in nlh actually. where yozo asks how come ppl don't constantly want to kill themselves. and yeah felt#i can barely distract myself anymore bc nothing is stimulating enough esp when I'm alone#and i don't. care enough. about anything. to want to stay alive. like i said nothing is worth it. idc if ppl would be sad sorry#i don't even know what I'm saying anymore man. idk why I'm doing so bad rn. it's been a tough week ig.#nothing actually happened but everything is just. less than average. a little worse than neutral. just enough to be grating#i don't want to kill myself but i wish i could#wish i wasn't a coward wish i didn't fear permanent damage or hospitals or even just pain i have no control over#nothing happened but everything sucks. existence is disappointing. i would like to stop#vent#suicide //#negative //#ask to tag#i genuinely don't know what to do now. i can't distract myself. i probably shouldn't fall asleep when I'm like that#(at least if i don't want to have nightmares like i did all week and for tomorrow to be even worse)#tbh i doubt i even COULD fall asleep like that lol my brain's working too fast as usual 😐#sigh. sorry for the vent. trying to clear some of the dirt off my psyche
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magentagalaxies · 1 year
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.
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halfdeadfriedrice · 1 year
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the thing about the office environment is that i can feel my brain leaking out of my ears. the thing about an office environment is that the lights are too much. the thing about an office environment is that i think i would be better at my job if i could take a moment to belt DELTA DAWN WHATS THAT FLOWER YOU HAVE ON when the spirit moves me. the thing about the office environment is that sometimes you get a new boss who hangs up motivational posters. the thing about an office environment is how are you supposed to sit here and cope when you read "defense of children's innocence" act is going through your state government. the thing about an office environment is that if you aren't there your new boss thinks you're sitting at home jerking off and couldn't possibly commit emails because you are so busy refusing to work. the thing about an office environment is that you bought a heated mouse because your desk is freezing. the thing about an office environment is that anyone is looking at your screen at any given moment. the thing about an office environment is that people come in and bring it all back to jesus in the end and you aren't particularly about that life.
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deadtower · 1 year
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i’m just so tired. and hurt. and upset. and it wasn’t even my fault this time
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thelifelessgirl · 1 year
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You hate when people see you cry because you want to be that strong person.
At the same time, though, you hate how nobody notices how torn apart and broken you are.
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dreamdirector · 2 years
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Missing you, everyday still.
Its not any easier like you said it would be💔
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skchorpion · 2 years
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Here's a crappy sketch cause I'm stressed and the world is feeling hopeless.
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theood · 8 months
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Lol
#////////////////////#////#///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#//////////////#i feel like a waste of space and a leech on resources.#Im so fucking dumb and stupid. I don't do anything right. I have no passion. No energy. I'm lazy as can be. Can't get a job. Can't hold a#job. Can't do anything steady to save my life. I'm fucking worthless. I feel so stupid. I can't maintain friendships. There's nothing in my#eyes when I look in the mirror. I'm already dead. I'm just letting myself rot at this point#I'm jealous. I'm stupid. I can't hold a fucking conversation to save me. Im not trying hard enough. everyone else had actusl real problems.#oh you're depressed in mommy and daddys house where you pay nothing at all? fuckong grow up you bitch. that's what you are. a fuckong dumbas#s bitch Elias. Fuckinh look at yourself#i should have just gone to college *** ****** ****** like god intended me too. I've know since 4th grade I don't know why I even bothered as#i got older. it'd do my friends a whole lot.#its so fucking tempting to just delete everything and not ever talk again. Im never gping to achieve anything becuase I was fucking dumb ass#kid who didn't apply himself. boo hoo you struggled in school everyone else did too. you're mot fucking special. you don't have anything#wrong with you. you just want attention. Get hit again bitch and maybe you'd grow a fucking spine. Look at yourself. Almost 21 and you're#nothing but a fucking cesspool of waste. You're disgusting. Nobody actually wants you and you know.#im so fucking tired of it all. I should have gone several states away and never came back. There's nothing for me here. There never was and#there's never going to be because nobody wants me. not any person not any job. not anything#its a chore to be around me and everyone always makes better friends and connections that aren't me because I can't be a fucking normal#person. * ***** **** **** ** *** *“” **** **** ** ******!#none lf my relationships last because people see through my bullshit and jump fucking ship because its the right thing to do. ***'** *******#**** ****** ******!! Why bother with me. *** ******* **** *** **** ****** i know it#elias.zip#even if i get a job I'll still be fucking miserable because thats all my life will ever be. miserable. it's never going to start to get#good. ever. I'm not meant for anything. not meant for this.
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pussysidon · 1 year
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"oh lots of people feel that way" that's like saying "you broke your leg, but you don't need a cast because lots of people break their legs"
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Second Chance ~Logan Howlett Imagine~
Summary: Logan meets you. A variant of his dead wife.
Author’s Note: I won't lie, Hugh Jackman was hotter in the early 2000s.
Part Two
Reader’s Pronouns: She/Her
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE, mentions of character deaths, mentions of sexual innuendos
Do not repost this anywhere!
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A new start for Logan was just what he needed. And thanks to the TVA, Laura was able to join him in the universe Wade was originally from. So this was a new start for the two of them. And to celebrate their success in saving the universe, Wade decided to have a pizza dinner party with all his friends so Logan and Laura can get to know them.
"We are missing one more person," Wade noticed as he looked around.
"Y/n will be coming soon. She had to deal with something first," Yukio tells him.
"Thank you, Yukio," Wade smiled at her.
"Y/n?" Logan asked Wade.
"Oh you are going to love her. Everyone does," Wade tells him. "You too Mary Puppins."
Ten minutes later, you finally showed up.
"As an apology for coming late, I made my famous brownies!" You announced as you handed the plate with the chocolate goods to Negasonic Teenage Warhead.
Logan looked over to see that the stranger who walked in felt like a walking corpse to him. His smile drained from his face as he stared at you who was greeting the people you knew.
"Y/n! I want you to meet our new friends! Logan and Laura," Wade said. It felt like a cheesy rom com slow motion turn to Logan. But he was still enchanted by your beauty.
"It's nice to meet you both," you smiled at them.
"It's nice to meet you too," Laura said as she shook your hand.
"Please excuse me," Logan said as he walked out. Your smile fell a little as you watched the man walk out. You looked back at Wade who had a confused look as well.
"I will be right back. But here. Meet Mary Puppins," Wade said as he handed the dog over to you.
Wade rushed out of the apartment to find Logan outside.
"Hey! What was that? You just ran out on one of the best people I have ever met. She is tied with Peter and Yukio," Wade tells him.
"I didn't realize you had a version of her here," Logan tells him.
"What are you talking about?" Wade asked him.
"Y/n. She was my wife in my universe," Logan explains to him.
"No shit. You were married?" Wade asked him in shock.
"She was also killed because of me."
"This one is different."
"And how's that?" Logan asked him.
"She's a really big badass here," Wade tells him.
"She was in my universe too. But I still let her and everyone down."
"This one could be different."
"I don't know."
"Why don't you come back upstairs and have pizza and get to know her?" Wade offered.
"I think I'm gonna stay out here for a bit," Logan tells him.
"Alright."
Wade headed back upstairs, leaving Logan all alone. Not fifteen minutes later, you came outside with a plate of pizza and a brownie piece and a beer.
"You are missing the pizza and my brownies which Wade was mostly eating all of them," you tell Logan as you handed the food and drink to him.
"Thanks."
"Are you okay? Did I do something?" You asked him.
"No. It's just... you look like someone and it's bringing back some memories for me," Logan tells you.
"Oh. Do you want to talk about it? If it makes you feel better, Wade has told me weirder things and more depressing things," you tell him. Logan let out a small chuckle.
"Maybe not now. I'm sorry for running out while you were introducing yourself."
"That's okay. Let's reintroduce ourselves. I'm Y/n. It's nice to meet you," you smiled at him.
"It's nice to meet you too. I'm Logan."
"Hi Logan. So, did you have to suffer with Wade alone for a couple of days too?" You asked him. Logan laughed a little.
"Yeah. I did."
"I can tell. You have a tired look on you," you laughed a little. Logan smiled softly, hearing your laugh. It was no different from his universe's you.
"You know, the party is upstairs and we are missing it," you tell him.
"That's true. Let's go," Logan said as he followed you back upstairs.
During the party, you sat next to Vanessa as you both were catching up. Logan kept looking at you whenever he could as he talked to Laura.
"You like her," Laura tells Logan loud enough for only him to hear.
"Come on kid," Logan groaned a little.
"She's pretty. And Wade talked to her about letting me stay with her and the other X-Men," Laura tells him.
"Really?"
"Yeah. Apparently she's a good teacher both education wise and powers wise," Laura tells him.
"She always was," Logan said, looking back at you. Your eyes met Logan's, making you smile at him.
"Oh he's cute. You should totally get with him when you can," Vanessa encouraged.
"You think I should?" You asked her.
"Yes! Plus he's handsome," Vanessa nudged.
"And his abs are amazing," Wade mentioned to you. You looked at Vanessa who also had the same look of interested with you.
At the end, you grabbed your bag and jacket before saying goodbye to Blind Al and Wade.
"You ready to check out the school?" You asked Laura.
"Yeah."
"Can I actually ask you something before you leave, Y/n?" Logan asked you.
"Sure. What's up?" You asked as you walked over to him.
"Would you like to go on a date with me sometime?" Logan asked you. You felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled happily.
"Yeah. I'd like that. Here's my number," you tell him as you wrote it down really quickly for him.
"Call me."
"I will."
"Alright. I'll see you soon hopefully," you tell him.
"See you soon."
"Bye, Logan," Laura waved at him before following you out.
"So, are you two just going to adopt Laura and start a family?" Wade asked him.
"Leave it."
"Just letting you know, she likes it rough in bed."
"You and her had sex?"
"Nope. But I did overhear her and Vanessa talk about what they liked in the bed one time," Wade tells him. "And trust me. She may look sweet and innocent, but she is a bit of a masochist."
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