#i'm not a control freak!! i understand that other people have lives and things take time. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bambi-kinos · 7 days ago

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I am not a native English speaker, but I want to express my love for you. I think your understanding of Paul Mccartney is the closest to the truth (at least in my opinion) on this website. Please share your opinions, i'd love to read them!

In addition, I couldn't agree with you more about John and Paul's relationship. I have a very unpopular opinion. I always thought John Lennon was the love of Paul Mccartney's life, paul loved John with a passion that went against his own nature, and has not yet fully reconciled himself with this violent love.

Oh my god I'm gonna cryyyyyyyy holy shit ya'll you're too nice to me

John Lennon was the love of Paul Mccartney's life, paul loved John with a passion that went against his own nature, and has not yet fully reconciled himself with this violent love.

Man I think it goes even further than that. For Paul McCartney John Lennon is simply The Answer. That's the other reason he brings up John so much, everything in Paul's life eventually comes back to him and Paul's great life challenge has been accepting this.

Paul wants to be a fully rounded person like we all do and I think part of his struggle with his Shadow Self (in addition to the absolute multitudes Paul contains) is that wherever Paul goes, John is there. Even Paul's marriage to Linda could not fully escape this, one of his most devoted Linda ballads "My Love" cannot escape the ghost of John and his beautiful hands.

Very astute of you to note that it goes against Paul's own nature; someone I used to know made that observation to me around two years ago now. The thing with Paul is that he is a control freak. One of the reasons that Linda appealed to him is that she was willing to take a backseat for the sake of Paul's public image. Check it out:

With modern eyes we can see that Paul and Linda's relationship was on a much more even footing than Paul wants us to believe, hence all those jokes about Linda pegging him. However that is not necessarily the construct Paul wants The Public(tm) to see. Linda often takes subservient poses in her PR photos with Paul and this combined with Paul's babbling about his trad fetish and that he "likes" the set up of a woman handling all the domestic chores communicates a very clear and intentional message.

These poses and photos are simple and innocent enough but they are a specific genre that communicates the message of 1) Paul's heterosexuality 2) his status as the dominant partner in the Paul&Linda relationship 3) the fact that Linda is supposedly accepting Paul's directives and leadership. The fact that we are having to argue with deniers about Paul's bisexuality is due to Linda Eastman's sacrifice: Paul's public image is Linda's greatest creation, even surpassing the birth of her children. She realized that Paul's preoccupation with what other people think of him is simply a part of himself that cannot be excised or gotten rid of. By being married to Paul she chose to help him achieve his goal of a having an unassailable image as a heterosexual family man that was done with his tomcatting days; an image that I would guess did not match reality in any way but still was essential to Paul's nature. And that nature is indeed a controlling one.

John himself is totally antithetical to that. He does like his measure of control for sure, but John himself lived by the ethos that life is an endless nonsensical carnival and that the universe is too chaotic and unpredictable. I think that's part of why John tended to go along with whatever was happening to him at the time (which makes his rebellion against Mimi an interesting outlier in John's behavior IMO. I'll try to develop that later.) John fully believed in the random chaotica of life and I think his conflict with Paul ultimately boiled down to John not wanting to hand Paul that level of control because John believed it was pointless and insulting. John instead handed it off to Yoko because he would be less curtailed with her whereas maybe being with Paul would have meant giving up a certain amount of freedom to do what John wanted, whatever that may have been. (And really the possibilities are endless on that score, it's almost pointless to speculate.)

Paul enjoys being loved but his specific breed of control freak finds the idea of being in love absolutely terrifying. John in many ways created Paul McCartney; he remade Paul's fashion sense, his haircut, his sensibilities, even successfully made Paul into a sexy little housefrau:

And check out this bit from Phil Norman' George biography:

George and Ringo then took up residence in a second-floor flat at Whaddon House, a modern block in William Mews, Knightsbridge, where Brian himself lived on the top floor. To this point both had been looked after by doting mothers, so they possessed no domestic skills -- another reason why the highly domesticated Paul had jumped ship.

There's only one useless bum Paul will cook and clean for, and it's not George and Ringo. (And keep in mind all of that was happening against the backdrop of Cynthia and the new baby.)

I think the truth of the matter is that Paul is a great deal more submissive and wifeable than he wants to let on, hence that weird comment to the apple scruffs about how he didn't want to be some queer that never got married. Paul is always very concerned about what people think of him and finds it genuinely threatening. It's an open question if he ever has or will open himself to reconciling himself to it as you said; though I'm hoping that he's made some strides in that direction. John Lennon was totally antithetical to that and disrupted Paul's attempts at creating a normal heterosexual life.

And look I'm focusing on the domestic roleplay aspect of McLennon here but I think what it really indicates is that Paul was telling the truth when he described himself as a second in command and that he doesn't like being the leader. Due to the heteronormativity of the time Paul couldn't really conceive of himself as not being insulted by being a man stuffed into a woman's traditional role and he may have even been negatively effected by how much he enjoyed being dominated and lead. As well as how much he enjoyed being overpowered by John in such matters which I'm sure extended to their musical, professional, emotional, and sexual relationship.

That was one of the qualities that John seeded and grew in Paul, unwittingly, which went against everything Paul had been taught to believe and what he was supposed to value. I think that the latter half of the 1960s and then Paul growing into his own talent as a musical leader, also turned over the apple cart because suddenly Paul outgrew the Work Wife role he had with John and was becoming something much bigger. John in the meantime couldn't keep up due to his drug abuse and also due to how stifled he felt by the Beatles machine and that he couldn't record or publish the music that he wanted to, being forced to endlessly compromise with three other guys. One of which was supposed to be more submissive to him but then suddenly stopped being so easy to keep at John's side.

And yes, you're right there is a "violence" to what they felt for each other. John stirred up incredibly powerful feelings in Paul. He did it from the very beginning when Paul saw John on the bus and fell in love with him. Can you imagine being a control freak that's terrified of Being Seen for what you really are by the general public, when all it took for you to fall madly in love with another man...was to look at him during a fucking bus ride?

I would probably freak the fuck out and shack up with a Yankee too.

#paul mccartney #linda eastman #john lennon #mclennon #beatles meta #my meta #anonymous asks #talktalktalk #ask meme #the beatles

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possessionisamyth · 1 year ago

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Here's some RE Separate Ways analysis that isn't about shipping because I like Ada. I'm happy her DLC actually focuses on her, but some of the takes I'm seeing are Insufferable. Main statements in bold for ease of reading and skipping purposes.

-Wesker and Ada haven't been working together consistently for the past 6 years. This dripless bitch is calling Ada every five minutes to babysit her. I don't think that's the relationship dynamic of someone you're regularly employed under, and when it is, Ada is not the type of character to tolerate that behavior for 6 years. We know Ada is a contract worker. We can understand she's worked for Wesker on and off, but she's a freelance agent period. She must've done enough jobs for Wesker that he feels the need to check on her and have this constant reporting in to make sure she stays on task since he's clearly used to her not always following his orders. He 100% hired her for this assignment because he knew the situation and compared to the other options, she had the highest survival chances. Which, he was right. High risk, high reward.

Sometimes Wesker's babysitting works: Ada holding Luis at gunpoint when he tries to negotiate saving Leon and Ashley. Sometimes he knows when to step away: "Keep your dog." All of it is in the effort to get what he wants. Look, he let her live. He worked with S.T.A.R.S for years and wanted them all dead. If he worked with Ada regularly and she pulled this shit with the amber, he would've had that helicopter blown out of the sky. There's always some restraint with personal distance, especially with a guy who thinks so highly of himself.

-Luis is a drama queen. In the regular game, Luis acts cool and under control to the best of his abilities around Leon and Ashley. It's a part of his newly found hero-complex even though he does still know when to ask for help: "save me prince charming!" In the DLC, we see the real side of Luis. The one who's scared, and dramatic, and knows when he's not shooting with a loaded gun so to speak. When Ada tells him to leave her to fight, he does. He wants to help, but his respect for her abilities sends him fleeing like she orders him to. Also, like every scientist, he has zero self-preservation! He ran into a fire that clearly would kill him to get medicine. And the exchange afterwards? "No! Now you'll all die!" "Make some more medicine." "Oh..yeah...I can do that. I do have that ability."

The flamenco dance. "Are you mad at me???🥺 You're mad at me!😭" This man understands Ada can kill him without blinking, but still can't keep his composure around her. This is such a fun dynamic to explore in fic for expansion stories and "Luis lives" au's. The DLC gives him breaks to freak out and panic, whereas the main game holds the "cool persona" moments after Leon saves him. Even his dying words to Ada. This man is bleeding to death and still can't shut up. I love him.

Okay, that's all I gotta say about the loser men. Now for the star of the DLC. Ada. :)

-Ada "Sans Undertale go into my eyes" Wong. The methods Ada uses in the DLC are fun and appropriate. It's not invasive and in your face unlike another agent, but more subtle. She can track footprints, fingerprints, gauge the safe distance required for her grappling hook, and she knows when she needs to fight and whens he needs to run. Her practicality has always been the cleanest of the entire cast due to her being a spy, but this time we actually get to see this trait utilized through her tools.

-Ada is silly and quips her own jokes to get through it. Something I'm not seeing anyone talk about including the aeon people who are claiming anything they can get, is this specific humor parallel between Leon and Ada in the remake. Both of them have gone through the horrors of Raccoon City. Both of them went right back into very difficult military in function style work which always has a body count. I talked about Leon's humor coping mechanism here [X], but to hear Ada do the same thing? I feel like they went under the radar because they don't sound as stupid as Leon's quips, but they are still so stupid. "Nighty night." "Lights out." "Bring me a real challenge next time." "Now look at the mess you've made." "You think that gun will be enough?" She and Leon even share the same "Next," line!

If I had 80GB to spare on the game, I'd see just how many more I could get out of her. Like, these are dumb as hell. She's found a method to cope with the horrors she's witnessing that just so happens to coincide with Leon's. I'm not saying this as a marker of whatever romance you've tossed them in or even to diss any other romances. What I am saying is that they have a similar type of mental illness resulting from trauma, and they ended up using the exact same coping method despite never seeing each other.

Ada fans who hate Leon! This opens a door for you when it comes to character analysis and how Ada deals with her PTSD and/or depression! Run through it RIGHT NOW!

-Ada's infection pulls a lot more weight than it seems. I've seen some people say Ada's parasite should've been removed the same as Leon's and Ashley's. (Which is an extremely unsubtle argument to get them all in the same room for your shipping nonsense.) However, something I noticed with the DLC were the parallels to the troubles in RE2. The Black Robe/U-3/Pesenta monster is the first time where we get to see Ada dealing with a stalking enemy. Due to RE4 being so much more plot-lined streamed to maintain the flow of gameplay, these events were not allowed to be random, but the narrative purpose remains. Ada gets to have a stalking enemy in her DLC like Claire and Leon did in RE2 with the addition of a hubris check.

The hubris check? Well, Ada has never been infected until this DLC. In the original games, she can step back and watch people die because she doesn't know what it feels like. Now she knows what it feels like. The lack of control. The pain. The slow turning. Her job has had her flirting with death for years, but not in a way she can't fiddle with the odds. A parasite is not something a person can distract with words. The action to steal the amber is backed up via personal experience not just a morality code slapped on. The addition of Wesker's correction to "billions of causalities" means she's included in that number and just cements her incentive to flee. She's not doing this for Leon. She's not doing this for Luis. She's doing this for herself, and if it so happens to help other people then it is what it is. After being on both sides of the coin when it comes to viruses, she can no longer function as entirely impartial to the work she's doing.

-Ada doesn't ask for permission but asks for forgiveness. Don't take this phrasing literally. She doesn't ask Wesker to forgive her. What this means is that she'll do something before asking, and if it upsets people then she'll course correct. Her job is not the kind of job where she needs to take orders for every action she implements which is why Wesker calling every five minutes was annoying as hell. In the OG RE4 she kind of argues with Wesker for Leon to live for "his usefulness", but it's swiftly shut down until it's convenient to Wesker for Leon to live. This forces her to sneak around and betray Wesker multiple times to save Leon secretly, and the concept rightfully gets thrown into the garbage for the remake DLC.

The scene in the bedroom where Wesker tells Ada not to become a liability after taking her blood? Ada doesn't fight to get her shit back. Some people said this was flirting. Wrong. This is Ada seeking forgiveness after the fuck up of passing out in the middle of an active field by letting Wesker walk off with an infection sample. She then makes sure not to fuck up a second time in the same way, and she doesn't. She learns the signs of her parasite so in case she does pass out again, she'll be somewhere much less conspicuous. She listens for the changes in her environment and the feelings in her body and prepares herself for what's next.

-Ada saves Leon and Ashley for Luis' sake. I stated earlier that Ada's action to take the amber was for her own sake but ends up helping others. This is the exact situation going on when Luis talks about getting the suppressant. She needs the suppressant in order to do her job and kill the black robe so she can heal. It just so happens that Leon and Ashley need the suppressant for survival reasons too. They are an afterthought until Luis dies.

We watch Ada question Wesker and his plans all throughout this DLC, and she comes to her own conclusions after her experience working with him. She could've gotten the amber back and let the whole place blow into smithereens like Wesker intended. Who cares about the president's daughter? Who cares about another dead federal agent? Luis did. He cared so much he died for it, and just like that other clown in Raccoon City (aka her), she got emotionally attached. If there was anything she could've done for Luis to make his death mean something, it was this act.

-Ada sells Leon's jacket. This isn't analysis, but I thought this was funny as hell. ACAB! No exceptions! Freeze your tiddies off, Leon! I don't give a shit!

-Ada's new outfit is still better than her old one. It's still not the best they could've given her. I'm also not speaking from a fashion point of view when I say this. In the OG RE4 we see Leon in a jacket which is forcibly removed to show off his pecs to the ladies, but it clearly marks a colder time of year. OG RE4 Ada has arms out, legs out, and tits out because a hoe never gets cold. The sweater dress for the remake re-establishes that it's colder here because even Luis doesn't lose his jacket. Ashley doesn't lose her jacket either until they yoink it off her for ritual reasons. I still hate that the thigh high boots have that heel and would prefer the flats, but that's going to be in the complaint paragraph below.

-Capcom sexism at play once again. I don't give a shit about rigs and motion capture or whatever, her walk cycle was 2 adjustments from being full Bayonetta, and I hate it. The ass shots? Disrespectful. Her heels didn't have to be that high. Never heard of a kitten heel? They exist. The people who worked on RE3 Remake and worked on this DLC sure love to make a woman vomit don't they? Why the fuck was she so clean the entire game? She was being thrown around and tossed in the dirt a lot, but this woman's skin is shinier than a waxed apple. Either she has some wet wipes on hand, or god forbid women get filthy. Absolutely zero reason she shouldn't have been looking as rough as Leon by the time she gets on the helicopter! No reason at all!

That's all they wrote! I love Ada. I loved this DLC, and I loved the dynamics going on here even though I hated every time Wesker was on screen or opened his mouth at all.

As much as I would love to expand this post and go further into the changed Ada and Leon relationship, I frankly hate all the takes I've been seeing so much on either side of the Aeon debate. I hate the ongoing conversation around it so much that I don't know if I want to discuss this at all. The Aeon should've gotten this if not for Luis and Ashley side and the Aeon is dead side going back and forth with each other? All of you put on your clown noses! None of you are looking at this situation objectively to see where the lines cross and where they run alongside each other, and frankly I'm tired! I could clear this whole table off so both of you can get exactly what you want based on what you're not actually interpreting from this media, but I won't! Kill each other!

#resident evil #re #separate ways #separate ways dlc #ada wong #albert wesker #luis serra #luis sera navarro #leon kennedy #re analysis #re4 remake #i wont tag this with ship names cause im nice but i was so tempted to be mean like ada <3

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kickthecan-revolution · 3 days ago

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So there's going to be a lot of rambly posts from me. Feel free to skip.

One other insight I have today is how big of a difference between self-flagellation and humility. A massive Grand Canyon of difference. Humility makes it easier to read and listen to hard truths and there's a kind of liberation within it that isn't about the sender of the message, but the message itself and how it resonates. I've always treated Tumblr like a journal, people reading it isn't something I initially think about, though I like validation just like anyone else. I guess that's why there's always so many typos in what I write, I do it quickly, spilling whatever I am thinking or feeling into the entry, rarely even going back and reading it again. But the people do matter, you all are a big part of my offline thought and I take what you say seriously.

One thing I'm reading on repeat today is the danger of separation. I see the "if you voted for Trump, remove yourself from my life". The 4B movement. To me, these are both symptoms of panic where the easiest and safest thing to do is make the world smaller and more secure. I had a moment like that yesterday, the contractor who is helping me with Alki told my sister what an impassioned Trump supporter he is and how thankful he is that he won. I instantly wanted to fire him, I didn't want him anywhere near my house. And then quickly after that, I thought about how kind he is in so many ways, how much he loves my sister and how complicated his life is - he's shy, not confident with others and would likely not rate super high on the IQ scale. He's a lot of things but I felt repulsed to let him into my house, and then I was grossed out by my reaction.

So really, how much of my rage is grounded in empathy and what parts aren't. What am I really afraid of? Yes, I'm afraid of a cancer reoccurrence and not being able to get health care and there's no way I will never not be able to afford insurance. I own two homes - my fear isn't grounded in reality. I'm not as vulnerable. I'm scared of evil and a lot of the evil in Conservative Christianity, in white men and women freaks me out, so I know I am reacting to that being in control of a lot. Trying to be honest about all of this is the only path out of it.

I also live in a State where gay marriage was just embedded into our State constitution and we voted for Harris but we're just fine with imprisoned people working for nothing and we didn't pass minimum wage. And now Gavin Newsom is picking a fight with Trump when our state wants to penalize shoplifters more who are literally stealing to survive from companies that primarily care about shareholder value, mine included. So what is liberalism anyway? What is a "Blue" state? If you really read, a lot of Trump supporters voted because they can't afford groceries. And why wouldn't you blame people in charge for that. I door dash a lot of food and eat it over a couple of days, I waste less that way but I'm cooking more and bought some stuff to make a bolognese sauce. The ground beef was THIRTY DOLLARS for 1.5lbs. I can afford it - what about people who can't? Does anyone understand a tariff? I'd venture a guess that just as many Harris supporters don't understand how it works and how we'll pay for it as Trump supporters.

I feel pretty powerful in my hatred. It keeps me safe. It also keeps me pretty deluded. This is a lot to unpack and the loss is big enough where these insights won't be fleeting.

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zoeykallus · 1 year ago

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Hi there! I love your headcanons and I was wondering if I could make a personal request. Let me know if this is a no-go.

I have PMDD, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, basically PMS [premenstrual syndrome] but 20x worse. It usually resolves upon the onset of the crimson wave. But not all the time.

I have been struggling really badly with the deep depression, insomnia, and self-image issues brought on by my disorder.

Do you think we can see how the Batch handles their fem reader S/O struggling with this disorder specifically? And maybe, if it's not too much, a part 2 with some of our favorite regs?

Thank you so much!

Aloha my dear!

Oh, this is a heavy hitter, I know where you are coming from. So many people out there have no idea how freaking much this can affect someone's life. PMS is already a hard thing to deal with, but PMDD brings it to yet another really shitty level. Don't worry, I got you 😊

The Bad Batch x Afab!Reader HCs - Struggling With PMDD

Warnings: Mention of PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) and its symptoms /Hurt/Comfort/Fluff

_______

AC: I'm using Techs Part first to introduce PMDD and its symptoms to those who might not know what it is. So don't be surprised about Tech's Part being longer than the others, there is a lot of information in there. So please read Tech's part, to understand what this is all about 😊

_______

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

_______

Tech

The first experiences he has with you in this context are frightening for him. Apart from the fact that you suddenly seem like a completely different person to him, he is really worried about you. But Tech wouldn't be Tech if he didn't get to the bottom of this.

It takes him a little while to find the right material.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a much more severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). It may affect women of childbearing age. It’s a severe and chronic medical condition that needs attention and treatment. Lifestyle changes and sometimes medicines can help manage symptoms.

The exact cause of PMDD is not known. It may be an abnormal reaction to normal hormone changes that happen with each menstrual cycle. The hormone changes can cause a serotonin deficiency. Serotonin is a substance found naturally in the brain and intestines that narrows blood vessels and can affect mood and cause physical symptoms.

What are the risk factors for PMDD?

While any woman can develop PMDD, the following may be at increased risk:

Women with a family history of PMS or PMDD

Women with a personal or family history of depression, postpartum depression, or other mood disorders

Other possible risk factors include lower education and cigarette smoking

Talk with your healthcare provider for more information.

"Healthcare provider?" he mumbles softly between reading, "As if any of us have such a thing"

Symptoms of PMDD appear during the week before menstruation and end within a few days after your period starts. These symptoms disrupt daily living tasks. Symptoms of PMDD are so severe that women have trouble functioning at home, at work, and in relationships during this time. This is markedly different than other times during the month.

There is a chart with symptoms and he worriedly starts to read it.

The following are the most common symptoms of PMDD:

Psychological symptoms

Irritability

Nervousness

Lack of control

Agitation

Anger

Insomnia

Difficulty in concentrating

Depression

Severe fatigue

Anxiety

Confusion

Forgetfulness

Poor self-image

Paranoia

Emotional sensitivity

Crying spells

Moodiness

Trouble sleeping

Fluid retention

Swelling of the ankles, hands, and feet

Periodic weight gain

Diminished urine output

Breast fullness and pain

Respiratory problems

Allergies

Infections

Eye complaints

Vision changes

Eye infection

Gastrointestinal symptoms

Abdominal cramps

Bloating

Constipation

Nausea

Vomiting

Pelvic heaviness or pressure

Backache

Skin problems

Acne

Skin inflammation with itching

Aggravation of other skin disorders, including cold sores

Neurologic and vascular symptoms

Headache

Dizziness

Fainting

Numbness, prickling, tingling, or heightened sensitivity of arms and/or legs

Easy bruising

Heart palpitations

Muscle spasms

Other

Decreased coordination

Painful menstruation

Diminished sex drive

Appetite changes

Food cravings

Hot flashes

His brows are drawn together critically. With a heavy sigh, he says quietly to himself, "Oh boy…"

Tech makes it his business to see that you are examined by a proper doctor, given appropriate medication, and change your diet. He sometimes seems stern and matter-of-fact, but only when he notices you neglecting yourself. Tech also pampers you to counteract the psychological symptoms, with picnics, massages and the like.

Don't worry too much, Tech's got your back. He won't give up on you.

Hunter

His senses already tell him what connections exist with your condition. But of course he is not a doctor and therefore informs himself accordingly without your knowledge, Tech helps him. What he learns frightens him, Hunter is really worried, and he makes it his mission to make this time, these symptoms, easier for you. Apart from making sure you always have the medication you need at hand, he is also much more attentive and caring than usual during this time.

You can let yourself go and not have to worry about anything, Hunter takes everything in hand and has it under control. He is especially gentle and forgiving with you during this time. You mean a lot to him, and he does his absolute best to help you.

He doesn't argue with you when you get your moods, if you want to be alone he respects that, but keeps an eye on you from a safe distance, just in case.

Echo

This sweet man really throws himself into the task of helping you. Whether it's getting your medications, preparing food, massages, and running relaxing baths, Echo has it all covered.

With him by your side, you will want for nothing during this difficult time. He is also not easily scared away, he is as patient as he is stubborn. You don't have to go to the doctor alone, Echo will accompany you.

He organizes your medication, your diet and everything else you need, if you want. If you don't, you must tell him clearly, because Echo will automatically see his task in taking care of everything.

Wrecker

He is warm, and lively. Contrary to the expectations of most, he is also very sensitive and attentive. Of course, he does not miss the fact that something is wrong with you. Of course, he is worried and wants to help.

Talk to him honestly, try not to withdraw, and you will have a steadfast supporter and caretaker in Wrecker. He likes to spoil you, make sure you are taken care of and have your medication.

Wrecker is happy to adapt to you, you just need to communicate with him and let him know what you need. Taking care of you is very easy for him, he likes to do that. Knowing that he can make things easier for you is also good for him in this situation. So confide in him, there is absolutely no reason to pretend in front of him.

Crosshair

He is a bit more complicated at first. Of course, you are incredibly important to him, and he also has a certain empathy, but he often stands in his own way when it comes to emotional, interpersonal things.

At first, he can't really deal with it at all and is looking for some distance at this time. But in a small conversation between brothers, in which Hunter makes it clear to him that his behavior sooner or later can seriously damage your relationship, Crosshair first informs himself more precisely about the existing problem. Finally, he approaches you with the knowledge he has gathered and tries to discuss with you what you can do together as a couple, what he can do as your partner to make the whole thing easier for you.

You talk about medications, doctor visits, relaxation techniques, and home remedies to combat some symptoms. It doesn't take long for the two of you to work out a certain routine that you can both manage and that he can use to help you get through this time okay.

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

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ask-whitepearl-and-steven · 1 year ago

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wow man why did the new chapter have to be for sponsorship? it was difficult to control my anxiety. any post I thought was a new chapter. when the notice appeared my happiness fell into a hole full of depression. Man I waited for so long for a new chapter to come out. that it wasn't long before I started to freak out, I'm serious I almost freaked out! I got angry and then sad. my mother was even worried, asking: what happened son? why are you locked in the bathroom? (I lock myself in the bathroom with my stuffed animal when I'm having a crisis) I'm autistic.

Buddy I'm going to be honest here:

That isn't healthy.

I love people reading my comic, and I'm glad you and other people enjoy it a whole lot. I want to keep making it!

But I'm one person, and I need money to live. I understand this might be hard to conceptualize if you're young and still living with your mom, but MY emotional health hinges on having enough money to eat for the month. So if YOUR emotional health hinges on me not posting my Patreon once in a while (a thing I promote because it greatly helps me financially) then we are inherently at an odds.

It's not anyone's fault... but it's not a good place for either of us.

I don't want to discourage you from reading the comic, but also, if it's hurting you to see me post specific things and not others, then you're probably not in a stable enough mental place to enjoy the webcomics in general, which are often updated only when my time allows me to, in between my other responsibilities which take precedence (like my main irl job and tasks).

I sincerely hope you can find a way to build a healthier relationship with media, because I have seen other people allow this sort of thing to destroy their mental health, and I don't think it needs to happen to anyone. My comics are not - and will never be - a clockwork thing. I cannot break myself in order to keep you calm.

I am posting a reply to your ask not because I want to make you feel bad, but because you deemed your feelings strong enough to send this to me, so I believe you probably care enough to understand my perspective:

It's not a healthy thing to hinge your emotional stability on one person or thing. It will eat you up from the inside, and you will starve yourself more effectively this way.

#chekhov answers

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bitimdrake · 2 years ago

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pssssst hey quick question on the dl - who is helena bartinelli??

i cannot answer anon questions on the dl, so answer on the up-high, which she deserves:

HUNTRESS

a.k.a. Helena Bertinelli, a.k.a. Gotham's coolest and most notable antihero, crossbow-wielder, and purple bat-associated vigilante.

Helena was born to an Italian mob family, but spent her childhood blissfully unaware of the family business--until her entire family was slaughtered in front of her when she was eight. She stayed with family overseas for the rest of her childhood, learning how to fight and protect herself.

She came back to Gotham for both vengeance and justice, and became one of Gotham's many vigilantes. Though her focus is on the mob, she'll step in to stop any crime.

She's also a schoolteacher! Good for her.

She is discerning in who she chooses to kill, but she does kill. As you can imagine, this put her at odds with Batman for a long time. Helena is pretty much the premiere example of Bruce trying to claim control over every vigilante in Gotham, no matter how little right he has. The argument on killing/ethics is valid, but his default was basically "do exactly what I say and fall in line under my command, or stop completely," which is why he's an asshole control freak and why I'm constantly mad about how she was treated 👍

She was an absolute mainstay of the Batfamily before Flashpoint (2011) and it is personally hurtful to me that people don't know her. (Like, to be frank? She had far more of a presence than Damian or (living) Jason in the post-crisis era.)

You could count on seeing her in any major Batfamily crossover, from Cataclysm to Battle for the Cowl.

She was central to the biggest Batfamily crossover ever, No Man's Land, where Gotham was locked off from the rest of the country and turned into a lawless wasteland. Bruce left to sulk for the first couple of months and in absence of any other vigilantes in the field (only Oracle having remained in the city), Helena donned the mantle of the Bat for herself to protect the city. And when Batman came back, in return for all she'd done, she got...yelled at, assigned impossible tasks and criticized for not achieving them, her costume stolen and given to someone else, lied to, abandoned in the face of impossible odds, and shot multiple times protecting kids. Absolute fucking hero, honestly.

She also was on the Justice League for a while, though admittedly I have barely touched that run. To my understanding, despite nominating her for the position, Bruce was also the one to revoke her membership there.

Fortunately! things improved!!

In the early/mid 2000s, Helena joined the Birds of Prey, Oracle's team, and found legit friendships and support there with teammates like Dinah Lance/Black Canary. She finally got more respect in the community, and had a much better time.

Additional relationships include:

A big sister/annoying little brother type thing with Tim, who may disapprove of her killing but simply likes making friends too much :)

A great relationship with Vic Sage/the Question

One single issue where she met Steph that presented SUCH interesting potential that I desperately wish had been followed up on

On and off romantic/sexual tension with Dick, depending on the writer, which culminated in a single hook up that apparently most people around here would rather pretend didn't happen, though I really don't think it's that bad

A complicated relationship with Barbara, partially due to clashing personalities and conflicting morals (with Babs being nearly as much of a control freak as Bruce), and partially due to a shared history with Dick because DC loves making women be catty

Surely others from her first solo or time on the JLA that I don't know well enough to list!

She's rad and determined and takes no shit but cares a lot, and I love her. We deserve more stories tying her teaching day job into her night work. We also deserve more stories with her in general.

If you would like additional Helena beyond just cruising my tag, I recommend:

Batman/Huntress: Cry for Blood - far more Huntress than Batman, this is a great 6-issue miniseries about Helena reckoning with her past, ft the Question.

Batman: No Man's Land - if you have the time for it, a big storyline but worth it.

Birds of Prey vol 1 (1999) - Helena starts to appear around issue #57 and becomes a central character from there.

#*#ask #anon #*dc #dc #dc ref #helena bertinelli #huntress #batfam #batman #10to2

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armpirate · 10 months ago

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The Only One || JJK || Ch. 42

Pairings: mafia!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, mafia, contract relationship

Warnings: Prostitution, torture, blood, use of drugs and weapons

Summary: You've always wished for a better life. Every single day at work, you were hoping something would change. Although you didn't think that change would come in the form of one mysterious man and a contract.

His controlling and selfish behaviour only wanted to keep you away from any other man that wasn't him, and you only had to wait for him.

Too bad you really thought you'd be smarter than Jeon Jungkook.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 11 minutes

The reverse of his index traveled across the softness of her cheek as he admired how peaceful she looked while sleeping. He hadn't been able to sleep properly for the past weeks, ever since she came back to him. Jungkook knew she wouldn't leave when she crossed the door to the room he was living in two months back, not after how she committed to the family just to stick there to his side, but somewhere in the back of his head he was scared of waking up and not finding her next to him. That was why he kept waking up every two hours, checking out everything was alright, before he allowed himself to go back to sleep while he looked at her.

—You're doing it again —her sleepy voice interrupted his thoughts.

Jungkook had been so lost in his own thoughts, that he wasn't aware when he stopped seeing her, covered by the projection of his own worries. When he properly looked back at Y/n, her eyes were still closed, but a lazy smile was forming on her lips.

—Doing what?

—Waking up in the middle of the night and overthinking everything that's going on —she finally opened her eyes slowly.

It took her a while to get used to the darkness of the place, being able to see more than just Jungkook's figure in front of her, managing to spot his round nose and his round eyes staring down at her.

—I know your control freak nature is having a crisis right now, but I'm doing pretty okay —she assured him—. I'm even improving my Korean, soon I won't even need Namjoon to back me up.

—Oh, really? Prove it, then —his pierced eyebrow raised, teasing her.

—I'm too tired right now.

Her excuse made him giggle, hovering over her to hide his smile when his head was placed next to hers momentarily.

Jungkook was aware of how hard, and how seriously, she took learning his language. One of the things that worried her the most was his people overlooking her for the mere fact of being led by someone who didn't even speak their language. Ever since she set foot in Seoul, she had tried her best trying to learn Korean, and he had been witness of her frustration whenever she realized she was still at that point where she was able keep a basic conversation with him, and understand a fair amount of the words that came out of his mouth whenever he talked with Namjoon.

—It's not because of you —Jungkook confessed, pinching her side—. Namjoon has already told me some of my men are more scared of you than they were of me.

—Hmm, am I that intimidating? —she smirked— Good.

—As I was saying —he continued, shaking his head while he smiled—, some things are just out of our reach.

His worries were soon showing up in his eyes when he looked down at her, receiving a soft caress on his cheek while she moved her thumb in circles on his cheekbone. She knew him enough to know that his worries never relied on her, at least not on her leadership, but more on the dangers that were hunting her since his father felt threatened again. Jungho thought that once his son was gone, everything would go back to normal, he never expected Y/n to take over his position and kick him away, which made her a target.

Jungho wasted no time in looking for allies in the gloom, people that weren't scared of Bangtan and that wanted her head as much as him. And after Y/n showed up nervous, barely able to speak by how shaky her voice sounded due to her breathing, when a suspicious car followed her and tried to attack her, he knew that wasn't only his father's doing.

He wouldn't be as stupid to confront her and her whole entourage.

—I know —she nodded, finally lying on her back—. That's why it makes no sense to lose sleep over it. I'm sure everything will work out the way we both want, but even if it doesn't —her shoulders shrugged, while her lips twisted— we did our best, and we came all the way here fighting.

—Are you trying to say you're okay with dying?

Sighing after that comment, she sat on the bed, resting her back against the gray wall while her hands laid on her lap.

—Were you like this when we met? —she frowned, challenging him— If you had been so pessimistic when considering whether to buy my exclusivity or not, we probably wouldn't have gone past the first night. I know you're scared as shit, I am, too. But I need that Jungkook back.

—That Jungkook wasn't scared of losing anything. That's the difference.

Her expression softened at his comment, making her press her lips together before her hands reached out to him.

—That Jungkook didn't have me having his back either —she replied back.

Jungkook smiled without showing his teeth, bending over her thigh to give her an intimate kiss over her pajamas. Although cuteness was soon gone when he felt her hand smacking his arm, soft enough to let him know it wasn't anything serious.

—I have it all sorted out. Learn to trust the boss —Y/n scolded him.

—My bad —Jungkook finally mirrored her, sitting next to her.

—And if everything works well, it won't take longer than this week. And we'll be finally free.

—Don't you think it's a bit rushed?

—My connections in Mallorca had told me it's getting a bit tense there for Pedro —she let him know—. Police is keeping an eye on him after everything that happened with you. It's just a matter of time until it blows out, and we can't miss that chance. We'll kill three birds with one stone —she smirked.

Neither of her friendships in the club were meaningful, but they ended up being useful for her -especially in that moment. Some of them kept her updated on Pedro's suspicious moves, or what was the topic of the week, just like the rumor of Y/n being the new big thing flew all across the island. She wasn't exactly feared, but she noticed how some people reached out to her with some particular manners. Amira, for example, the same one who didn't doubt to sell her to please Jungkook was now selling Pedro to her because she wanted to look good.

As if that would change anything that happened in the past...

Jungkook had heard her thinking through her additions to his plans, not having enough with getting rid of Jungho, but also making sure all of the people that could be a threat for them would be gone, too.

He was in her hands.

✸ ✸ ✸

Her face showed clear disgust as the car stopped in a building that gave her nothing but bad memories. She never thought she'd be back there, and even less in the position she was in, but there she was.

She turned to Namjoon -who turned into her second best adviser, with her boyfriend taking the lead-, looking at her left while her hand was extended in his direction.

—You sure you want to go there alone? —he asked again, handing her the beige plastic file.

—He speaks English, it'll be okay —she assured him.

In those two months, she had needed Namjoon to make sure any conversations with the dealers wouldn't be half understood. But she was convinced the person she was going to see was going to understand her perfectly. Or at least he'd try as soon as she started speaking in the language he understood the most: the language of convenience and power.

—Don't wait for me —she asked.

—But...

—He's an asshole. Having you around would only make me lose credibility —she huffed—. I'll call you when I'm done.

Waiting for Namjoon to nod his head with reluctance, she finally stepped out of the truck. He learned to trust her in the short period she spent in Jungkook's place, and he was starting to respect her when he realized he wasn't only words, she actually wanted to find a solution to all the problems they were in since Jungho showed up. Namjoon would have blamed it on Jungkook -only if she was still using the in-ear, that stopped having any utility after the third week.

The door of the car was closed behind her, by one of her men, while she tried to fix her navy pleated pants and the white tank top that hit under her blazer. And once she assured herself his attention wouldn't shift anywhere else that wasn't her speech, she headed inside the building.

Making all that route in a completely different position was confusing for her, considering last time she was there she was surrounded by bodyguards so she wouldn't escape, and not because they wanted to protect her.

As soon as she got ready to go through one of the security stops that she remembered, right at the beginning of the aisle to the door to the apartment, a tall woman stopped her from being patdowned and guided her to the entrance, as if she didn't know how to go there by herself.

Sanhyuk's underestimation of how dangerous she could be wasn't insulting for her, it actually reminded her how pathetic he actually was and how easy it'd be to get him exactly where she wanted.

He was sitting on the white long couch that welcomed her after she walked down the two steps of the entrance, manspread with his two arms hanging over the backrest in a confident posture that irritated her.

—Long time no see —he cheered, tilting his head—. You visited everyone but me, should I feel offended?

—It's a way too complex feeling for you to understand —she surrounded the couch in front of the one he was sitting in, walking in his direction.

—Y/n, always so witty —he joked, finally standing up—. Oh, sorry for your loss. Or whatever I'm supposed to be saying.

When she thought he'd extend his hand to her, he moved to the small crystal table on her right to refill his glass with the transparent liquid, which she was sure wasn't water.

—Does it bring you memories? —he pointed around him.

—It's not like I was able to see much of it when you kept me inside a room the whole time, so no.

A loud gasp from him interrupted whatever it was she wanted to say, and also took away some of the seriousness of the conversation.

—Was I that bad to you? —Sanhyuk sat back where he was— It was your moment to glow up. Look at you now: the leader of Bangtan. I don’t know what Jungkook was thinking, but...

—That's why I'm here. I know you made a deal with him before he died —her steps were slow, but confident to the seat opposite to his on a different couch—. I just want to do things properly.

Finally aware of the file she was holding, Sanhyuk pointed at her hands with a cocky smile.

—You're going to leave written proof —he mentioned surprised—. Good girl.

Interested in what Y/n was offering, he pointed to the empty spot and invited her to take a seat that she would take shortly after.

—I'm all ears.

—I received some guidance from the Bangtan members to know how to work on this the best way possible. They all will keep their positions internationally, as agreed, but I'm giving you my part in the name of Jungkook.

—Too hard for you? —he mocked her, sinking his eyebrows slightly— This is a man's world, I can't blame you.

—In part —she lied—, but it's also because I'm keeping Jungkook's word. You both agreed to something in exchange for your help, and I'm no one to tarnish his name by acting the opposite way he would.

Squinting his eyes while looking at her, he analyzed every one of her words.

—Jungkook did so well at ending up with you —he assured her—. Too bad he died before he was able to enjoy it.

Her jaw clenched at how easily he spoke on his death, holding back any wishes she had of punching his face and breaking that glass on his head. Instead, she handed him the contract, and waited for Sanhyuk's tiny brain to process all the characters in it.

He mumbled some nonsense while reading, unable to keep it to himself and making her almost lose her patience.

—If I go to prison, everything will go back to the Bangtan family...

—Yes, but since you won't, it's irrelevant —she shrugged.

—Mallorca? Jungkook didn't mention any international territory —he questioned, still reading the contract.

—It's my thing —she pressed her lips together—. I added it. It's a territory he had along with Jimin, so it won't be fully yours, but you'll have half of the power there.

—Hmm —Sanhyuk puckered his lips in approval—. You're doing great at getting rid of all of this. You should be enjoying your new rich life, calm at home.

It almost seemed like he was going to sign without giving it a second thought, but when the pen was close enough to the paper, he raised his head.

—Too good to be true. Are you telling me the Bangtan members are okay with this?

—Yes —she assured him.

But Sanhyuk's distrustful eyes kept insisting for an answer that sounded more sincere, and that explained to him why he was getting more than agreed.

—It's either you or Jungho —she let out—. I don't want it. And the Bangtan members can't take over any of Jungkook's business, but you already know that. If I give up on them, they'd directly go to Jungkook's father since he's the most instant connection that's left.

—So you're giving them to me —he nodded—. Got it.

Y/n thought it'd be more difficult, she came up with several excuses and justifications since the previous night, she had done a fair amount of monologues practicing what she was going to say and how she'd say it, only for Sanhyuk to sign the paper and hand it to her.

After receiving the signed contract and saving it inside the file, Y/n stood up, ready to leave that place.

—Oh, about the Spanish territory... The man Jungkook used to work for has a pretty bad temper with rude partners.

—And what does that have to do with me?

—I almost forgot to give you a partnership contract with him, so he has no chance to fool you —she handed him another pile of sheets—. And if I were you, I'd fly to Mallorca to give him that. I remember when I started living with Jungkook, he was pissed at how difficult that man was with him. But I guess you have better social skills to gain him over, so I'm just warning you.

Sanhyuk was so stupid and easy to read that Y/n was able to tell he was certainly considering her advice for the near future.

Taglist: @kaiparkerwifes @sheylamc @amy2006jones @allamericanuniverse @00frenchfries00 @massivelyfullenthusiast

#fanfic #ff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkookxreader #jk #bts #wattpad #kookie #smut #jungkook smut #mafia!au #The Only One #reader insert #armpirate

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compassionatereminders · 1 month ago

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Lord. Today has been such a day. I hope it's ok to just rant about it here, if not obviously feel free to delete!!

Got woken up at 1am because my mom needed to go to the ER for excruciating pain. So we load up and I take her. It takes an HOUR for them to even pay her any mind- and it's not because it was busy. We live in a small town, and there was literally nobody there waiting to be seen. We think they were ignoring her because she looked like she was having drug withdrawals (shaking, pale, she couldn't stop moving/fidgeting). They only came out to see her when I brought my little brother in, and they realized that she wasn't just there to try and get meds from the hospital (this is all speculation ofc, but I really can't imagine any other reason that 'nobody saw her'). I'm still so mad because she sat there for so long, crying in pain (my mom NEVER cries, so that's how I could tell it was really bad) and nobody even bothered to check on her for over an hour. It took another hour for her to get any pain relief and while the nurses were all really nice, I'm still incredibly upset that she had to endure it for so long.

Anyways. Mom's going to be fine, she's getting flown to a better hospital a couple hours away to get the problem dealt with. That's all good. I'm staying home with my brother, and my aunt is going to pick her up later today (hopefully; it might take a few more days). The only issue is that I'll need to meet with my little brothers father (not my dad) to drop him off for the weekend, and I hate the guy, but I can easily ignore him so it's fine.

I think it's the stress of coordinating 4 different people's schedules that put me so on edge (my aunt needs to know when my mom is leaving, my sister is coming 1400 miles to Nevada from Texas, my little brother needs to do his homework/get ready to go/be dropped off). Family keeps calling me because I'm the one who lives with my mom, but I don't have any updates, because I'm home looking after my brother. I feel terrible that I can't tell them anything else, but it's still frustrating when I'm trying to get the house cleaned up, take care of a worried 7-year-old, and answer calls just to repeat the same thing.

The final straw though was one of my cats. When my brother and I finally got home around 8am, we were having breakfast. I look over, and my cat is peeing on my moms lunchbox. I freaked out, because that's disgusting, and he had NO reason to do that- their box is perfectly clean, he's not a serial pee monster, he's never been in competition with the other cats. I don't understand why today, of all days, he would choose to make a mess.

I've spent the past hour and a half trying to clean it by hand because I can't just throw it in the washing machine (it has a cloth outside, but its not removable). He ALSO managed to pee on my brother's homework tower (a short, plastic 'filing cabinet' with drawers we keep his stuff in), and of course, it got inside some of the drawers. Luckily the only stuff I had to throw away was some construction paper and white printer paper, and the rest was untouched, but I still had to clean up a MASSIVE puddle of cat pee on the floor, and empty + wipe out four of the drawers.

So. Anyways. I'm not feeling solution-oriented right now, I'm just really angry that this is all happening at once and there's not really anything within my control besides making sure my brother keeps to his schedule. At least he's not too worried, but I've kind of been avoiding talking to him at the moment because I feel like I might snap at him when it's not his fault at all. I'm also avoiding the cat because, while I would never hurt an animal for doing something dumb, I'm still so mad about it. I'd much rather he'd have peed on something of mine.

Now I just feel super on edge, and I keep waiting for ANOTHER bad thing to happen, because at this point it just feels like the universe is out for blood. It's not even noon yet. It's barely 10am

I'm so sorry about all of this. Anti addict ableism is completely unacceptable and literally kills people. It's not like an addict can't ALSO be in excruciating pain/genuinely need urgent care. I'm glad your mom will be okay, but it makes me furious that she was neglected for hours because of prejudices against a potential addiction. And I completely understand that you're not in a good place right now. I'm sorry about the pee situation also, though it's important for me to note that the cat didn't CHOOSE to "make a mess" just to bother you - either he was a bit ill or it was simply an unfortunate accident.

#chat with kat #addiction tw #drugs tw #medical neglect tw #medical abuse tw #bodily fluids tw #unsanitary tw #pee tw

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mbti-notes · 9 months ago

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Anon wrote: (INFJ. 21) I am ashamed and isolated because my sense of fun doesn't coincide with people and society's sense of fun. I don't drink, smoke or go to nightclubs, and I hate those kind of things, but at the same time I feel I am not allowed to have fun and connect with others in any other way but that, and it makes me feel disconnected from humanity.

Your thinking seems quite extreme and one-sided. Society is a big, big place; we're talking thousands, millions, even billions of people. There are many different kinds of people with many different kinds of interests. Social isolation tends to make people very small-minded. By your own admission, you have been isolated a long time, which means you simply haven't seen enough of the social world to make objective and reasonable judgments about it.

I am a very serious and uptight person in real life but I actually enjoy doing childish things. I like going to amusement parks, dodgems, go-karts, arcades, inflatables, camping, some type of toys like stuffed animals and dolls (I don't collect and I am not obsessed with them though), exploring abandoned places, games such as Just Dance, Twister and housey-housey, jumping and doing acrobatics on trampolines, but also some socially acceptable things such as dancing, skating and barbeques, but I repress everything and I never “have fun” in real life.

I have done almost all of those activities with my friends, and we are all well into adulthood. I've even done them with my parents and their middle-aged and elderly friends of all stripes. I see absolutely no reason to hang our heads in shame. You wouldn't even know about many of those activities if they weren't popular enough to make money and continue to exist. Even if it's true that the majority of people around you don't take an interest in them (which is, again, very few people given how small your social world is), it doesn't make those interests any less valid. Are people not allowed to simply like what they like? Are any of those interests morally wrong? It sounds like there is something very off about your moral judgment, which speaks to a need to improve your moral reasoning skills. Poor moral reasoning is one major reason people suffer from excessive guilt or shame.

As a consequence, I am stuck in a limbo where I am miserable and bored but I also find the things that majority of people do boring, so I am not allowed to do anything. I am not someone who wants to be a child forever, I do have a genuine purpose (which, by chance, happened to be something that's the opposite of childish in society's eyes), ambition and career prospects in life, if that's the “grown up” thing you need from me to prove I'm not a complete extraterrestrial freak.

I have zero interest in judging you. Question for reflection: Why do you feel the need to prove anything? Due to projection, self-critical INFJs always imagine that they are being judged by everyone. This can compel them to try to get ahead of criticism or disprove negative judgments. These quests are a waste of time because 1) you can't avoid criticism in life, and 2) you can't change people's minds when they are intent on believing the worst.

What you can control, though, is how you judge yourself. Shame comes from the way you judge yourself. If you have a problem with being too self-critical, the first step is to own the problem and admit that you are the one doing the judging. Criticism can only trigger you when there is something within you that believes you are deserving of it. There is something about your way of evaluating yourself that needs to change.

Obsessing about how the world doesn't live up to your expectations is merely a distraction. Blaming others for how you feel is one common way to get stuck in Ni-Ti loop. Shame is your emotion; you generated it and it is up to you to understand why. Toxic shame is a serious issue and I have written about it before. It involves 1) believing what others say without critical reflection, as well as 2) believing the worst of yourself even though there is no rational reason for doing so. Given the distortions in your beliefs, it sounds like your toxic shame runs deep, perhaps it's a good idea to get professional help for it.

Sometime ago I found myself together with some early teens so the only thing I spoke about with them was careers because I felt that was the only thing I was allowed to do. I don't need to be told it was weird and socially inappropriate to only ever talk about future professions with those children because I fucking know already. When they started playing catch I wanted to join but I didn't, and I thought it was shameful, twisted, sick and deranged of me to want that, I felt like a pedo so I left.

Pedophilia is defined as sexual attraction toward minors. Are you saying it's impossible for an adult to enjoy innocent play with children because of having sexual feelings? If so, then, yes, that would make you a pedophile and you should indeed avoid children. If not, then why wouldn't you allow yourself to have fun with them, especially since fun is what you really need? Children tend to be accepting and love to play with anyone who is willing to chill and have a good time.

The division between "child" and "adult" is not as black-and-white as you believe it is. There is no legal or moral reason that adults cannot enjoy some activities that children enjoy. You seem to have concocted some very extreme beliefs and inflexible rules about what you can/can't do when socializing. Why?

When INFJs get stuck in Ni-Ti loop, they are resisting Fe development, so they unconsciously invent all manner of false beliefs to hold themselves back from getting the socializing they need. This situation with the children is a good example. If you believe adults shouldn't play with children, how are children meant to learn about the world? They require a positive influence from their elders and you could step up and fill that role for them. Yet, you can't, because you have a personal problem with feeling "childish" and it is too uncomfortable to confront, so rejection of yourself leads to rejection of the kids, thus losing a good opportunity to socialize.

When people stop themselves from fulfilling important needs, such as social needs, they suffer terribly. How can you be happy by constantly depriving yourself? If you treated someone else that way, it would be considered abuse. Why are you abusing yourself?

I think it all started when, other than joining the “adult world” and noticing I can't have fun with others because they don't share my sense of fun, a friend of mine told me I was “childish” for liking to explore abandoned places, and it hasn't left my mind ever since. My requited crush (ESFP) also told me I was weird once, and I started to feel even more ashamed because he's socially adept, popular and belongs to the world, and also kinda conformist because he does and is everything that society deems socially acceptable and enjoys it.

The real issue isn't "childishness" at all. The real issue is you were invalidated and it hurt because you lack the emotional and intellectual tools to handle criticism. Human beings are social creatures and need a sense of social belonging, so invalidation and criticism aren't pleasant experiences for anyone. No society is perfect. Every society has great diversity of personalities and you are bound to run into people who are very different from you, which means there's no avoiding invalidating experiences in life. What matters most is how you choose to respond to those experiences.

On one extreme of the spectrum, people stubbornly stand by what they believe even when everyone tells them they are wrong; on the other extreme of the spectrum, people just believe everything they are told without second thought. If you genuinely want to get out of Ni-Ti loop, you have to actively counter extreme and unreasonable thinking patterns whenever they appear in your mind. The healthy middle ground is to listen to what people say, in case they are making a valid point, and then do the critical mental work to evaluate it objectively, in order to extract truth and utility.

What you've done, through Ni-Ti loop, is taken the pain of invalidation/criticism and run off into the land of extreme thinking, eventually getting lost there. You exist on both extremes of the spectrum. On one hand, you just believe whatever negative thing people say about you, which leads you to feel ashamed. On the other hand, something within you can't agree with what was said, which leads you to stubbornly or angrily defend yourself. When you get stuck in such extremes, it is logically untenable, which means it causes psychological instability. What started out as a small hurt of invalidation/criticism has now been blown out of proportion into something so painful that you need to invent false beliefs to rationalize the terrible position you find yourself in.

These kinds of negative thinking patterns indicate a dire need for you to improve your emotional intelligence. The first step is learning to accept and embrace all of your feelings and emotions so that they don't always get blown out of proportion. Your feelings and emotions are important messages that help you maintain good mental health. However, when you don't process them properly, they have the potential to damage your mental health.

For example, it is quite reasonable to feel hurt by invalidation, but it is unreasonable to descend into shame, anger, and rage spirals in reaction to the hurt. You ought to reflect on the hurt, patiently and compassionately, in order to understand its true meaning. Perhaps it is simply informing you that those people are not well-suited to be your friends. You can try to deny the reality of the situation, or you can accept reality and keep moving forward to seek better social opportunities. There is always a better response you could choose.

Being around him makes me feel even more inadequate and self-conscious and I am terrified of him finding out the childish things I like doing because somebody “normal” such as him would think I am a weird mentally ill freak and that would shatter me to pieces because it would be the ultimate disconnect from humanity for me. So I disappeared and cut all contact with him so that he doesn't find out who I really am and starts using it against me.

Have you done something morally wrong? If you have, then it would be right for people to call you out and shame you. If you haven't, then other people's judgments of you are invalid, perhaps to be taken as proof that they are not relationship-ready, unable to be the friend/partner that you need them to be. If that were the case, the best thing to do would be to let the relationship go so that you could find something better. Use your Ni: What are the implications of continuing to tie yourself to his judgments and then blame him for your hurt? You would be stuck in a vicious cycle of fear and loathing with him indefinitely. Is that really how you want to spend your life? Once again, there is a better choice to be made.

I know everybody thinks I am a weird and deragend freak, so I isolate myself and I never express myself because I don't want people to ridicule and reject me for that again. I know I display a childish and simple-minded mindset, so fucking what? Are my insecurities socially unacceptable now as well? Am I not allowed to feel like this because it's the symptom of a “childish person with low ego development”? I only have this mindset because it's the same mindset everybody else has. How am I supposed to navigate the world otherwise?

"Everybody" thinks you're a freak? "Everybody" has this mindset? More examples of extreme thinking. Unless you have literally talked to everybody in the world and can provide concrete proof of their beliefs, then what you have here is a distorted or false belief, based on your own overactive imagination. Yes, rejection doesn't feel good for anybody, so it is reasonable to be afraid of it. But it isn't reasonable to take that fear and turn it into self-righteous rage. Does it make you feel better to rage against the world? Only for a moment, and then you go back to feeling like you're nothing. Unfortunately, it doesn't solve anything and doesn't get you your dignity back.

It's no use to pull a “gotcha” on me because I reprimanded my crush for being conformist while being a conformist myself. I am just bitter and envious that he manages to do it successfully and be part of the world while still feeling free in doing so. The other reason I avoid him and pretend he doesn't exist is to prevent myself from getting triggered by him.

"Pull a gotcha"? Like many socially challenged INFJs, you seem to have a habit of "mindreading", i.e., assuming you know what people are thinking/feeling or presuming to know what they will say. This habit is very destructive to relationships due to causing unnecessary misunderstanding. Socially challenged INFJs also have the habit of making up an image of people in their mind, and that's what they're really interacting with rather than the actual person. Since you're basically just talking to yourself, shall I leave you to it?

If you really already know all about people, then you should be able to resolve your socializing problems yourself and succeed in every relationship... yet you can't. A common way Ni-Ti loop mentally traps you is by making it very easy for you to believe that you know "The Truth" when you're actually just keeping yourself willfully ignorant of evidence to the contrary. The result is, you live in your own imaginary world. To get back to seeing more clearly (dominant Ni) and functioning well in society (auxiliary Fe), it is necessary for you to open your mind and make it more flexible to seeing the full truth. For Ns, feeling the mind get more and more inflexible is a huge red flag that something is wrong with the way they're thinking.

In running this blog, I am often forced to point out problems with people's beliefs only because it's necessary to correct them to reach the next stage of growth - not because I take sadistic pleasure in being pedantic and "pulling a gotcha". To be honest, I deeply dislike the tedious task of wading through the maze of people's distorted beliefs, which is one of the many reasons why I'm not a therapist. If you're going to believe I have ill-intentions and just want to put you down, you really shouldn't ask me for help, because nothing I say is going to get through your paranoia anyway. It would be a waste of time for both of us.

Are you gonna tell me to grow some balls, get over it and become a well-adjusted person? That's one part I predicted, but I also thought I could also get some useful or enlightening advice on how to get over my shame and reconcile my socially unacceptable interests with my bond with others. I just want to feel accepted for who I am and also “belong” and find my tribe, ideally, but I don't know how. It might not seem like it, but I genuinely want to change and have more courage, I was just letting off some steam. If you are wondering why I am a backlogged and underdeveloped individual like you did with the other INFJ not long ago is because I've previously been a hikikomori for 7 years on a Ni-Ti loop. I had this “childish interests” problem even as a teen, but it was nowhere near as severe as now. I used to completely repress my Fe before and I felt no need for relationships because I didn't know how to keep my Fe in check and, as I predicted, now it's out of control and I feel like a weak loser after my crush has made these repressed and unfullfilled needs of mine resurface. I'd rather you not publish my message but only your answer, in case you'll write it. I already know I am deeply gonna regret sending this to you but it's for the best.

"Grow some balls" is not something I would ever say because I believe that it's wrong to use gendered insults. Are you aware of the crude and vulgar way in which you talk to yourself?

Whenever you interact with people, you are taking an emotional risk, so socializing does indeed require some courage. You are risking the possibility of getting rejected. You can accept the risk gracefully and keep moving forward in life, or you can twist yourself up over it and get stuck in fear and pain. You get to choose.

I have made it clear on the contact page that when people send their questions to me anonymously, I will publish them publicly. I can't respond well if I can't make direct reference to the things you've said. But it's important for you to go back and review everything you've written for two other reasons:

1) Self-Reflection: You need to understand that hurt people hurt people. Your lack of self-respect comes out in how little respect you have shown to me. You don't get to rattle, rant, and rave and then, when you feel better, pretend like you didn't say all those things or that the things you said were meaningless, which is what many unhealthy FJs do. It is disrespectful to dump your emotions on someone, presume to know what they will think and say, and then try to control how they respond to you. I'm not your servant to order around. That is not what healthy socializing should look like.

Even if you could find some friends to be your "tribe", it's likely that you wouldn't be able to keep them for very long because of how easily you get triggered into tertiary loop. There is actually nothing morally wrong with your personal interests despite what the people around you say, but there is something wrong with how your unresolved hurt inadvertently causes you to hurt others.

You need to be a good friend in order to keep good friends, which means you have to face up to all the ways in which your extreme thinking leads to toxic behavior, in terms of misunderstanding, misjudging, and mistreating others. When your initial stance in relationships is defensive, distrustful, and antagonistic, you're making yourself unapproachable and unlikable. This only feeds into Ti loop self-sabotage, by repelling people before they reject you.

2) Self-Awareness: The purpose of my blog is to explore ways to improve self-awareness through type development. An important aspect of personal growth is the willingness to confront the truth of oneself. All the things you wrote above are a reflection of you, your beliefs and your values. If you don't like what you wrote or feel ashamed of it, it's a good opportunity to review and reflect on why.

To break out of Ni-Ti loop, you need to face up to: the extreme thinking patterns; the false beliefs distorting your worldview; and most importantly, the deep unresolved pain you feel from isolation and alienation. How can you heal a wound if you're not willing to look at it, tend to it, and apply the required medicine? Yes, it stings, but it is sometimes necessary to endure growing pains in order to grow.

There are things you can do to heal tertiary loop and I've witnessed many INFJs do it. But you have to be willing to take an honest look at yourself and change what needs changing without always falling into the habit of beating yourself bloody. There are several things you need to improve upon in order to break out of tertiary loop:

emotional intelligence: learn to accept, feel, listen, and understand negative emotions such as shame, rather than run from them, defend against them, or give in to them

self-esteem: admit that you are human (rather than always trying to live up to an unreasonable/unrealistic ideal image) so that you can finally hear and fulfill your psychological needs, which would help you feel better about yourself

self-worth: understand that it is okay to need and want love, and most importantly, believe that you are deserving of it, but learn to look for love in the right places

moral reasoning skills: learn to analyze moral issues intelligently so that you can make sound moral judgments on your own, otherwise, you will always be easily led astray by criticism

social skills: learn what it means to interact with real people rather than your image of them; learn to treat people with more respect and acceptance if you hope to receive respect and acceptance; learn to speak up and draw boundaries whenever you encounter people who are hurtful or toxic

communication skills: learn to express yourself authentically, sensitively, calmly, and assertively so that you are not always at the mercy of others in social situations

conflict resolution skills: there is no perfect way to socialize because conflict is inevitable; accept conflict as a fact of life and learn good strategies for minimizing and resolving it

I have already written about these topics before and recommended books on the resources page. Tried-and-true knowledge already exists for your self-improvement. The final question is whether you are actually serious about learning and changing.

With access to the internet, it is easier than ever to find people with similar interests as you. To achieve a goal, a person must be focused and determined. Focus all your attention on refining your search methods, rather than getting distracted by pointless criticism.

I suggest you broaden and systematize your search, instead of wasting time on the wrong people. The more time you've invested in someone, the harder it is on you if the relationship must end. Therefore, it is in your best interest to show your true self at the start of a relationship so that you know the truth and can make a fully informed decision about whether someone is a good fit for you.

Don't walk around believing that everyone should be your bff, otherwise, it is your own unrealistic expectations that will always do you in. It doesn't ultimately matter what is or isn't "mainstream". Everyone has a right to their own interests as long as they're not harming anyone, and a good friend/partner should be able to accept and appreciate legitimate individual differences. Pick your friends and partners carefully.

#infj #ti loop #criticism #shame #ask

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choppedsouldreamer · 1 month ago

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Here is the other part of the lore people! Enjoy HEHE

Dragon Origins (Part 2)

"So let me get this straight, I'm supposed to be going to some snowy ass place, live there, and rule over it?!" KNG9, frustrated, repeats after Gem hastily explains it to her. "Well that is the general idea yes.." Gem says a bit guiltily, dipping a bit lower whilst floating in the air. KNG9 can't stand this, she doesn't want to be somewhere unknown which is snowy, or rule like some sort of dictator, she wants to be seen as a normal person for crying out loud! Even if she is part dragon...Without thinking, she rushes to where she remembers the controls to the ship being, Gem floating after her, trying to catch her before KNG9 gets the chance, but is too late.....KNG9 already had her hands frantically across the controls, changing the destination of her supposed landing. "W-what are you doing?! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?!! WE COULD CRASH!!" Gem sputters out but due to having no arms not really able to stop her, only having a small amount of power, and not enough to even do something to prevent her even the smallest bit....KNG9 quickly scans over all the options of possible destinations with her eyes, one lingering to her interests.. The Showgrounds, warm, empty, peaceful, and no damn things she needs to stress over about, a place where she doesn't have to worry about royalty or responsibility......She sets the destination, Gem sinking even more in disbelief and worry, yes this could go wrong but how could they stop her?.... They couldn't is the simple answer.... It's HER life.

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After a bit of a stressful arrival to the showgrounds for Gem, they somehow land safely despite KNG9s rapid scrambling over the ship controls, The Floating Palace being large to an impressive extent as well as overly decorated for a space-like ship. KNG9 took one final, almost lazy look over it and turned to the grassy area in front of her "S-so...The Showgrounds! hehe..." Gem says trying to gather their bearings, then quickly says to carry on their job as guide "This place is home to quite a lot of people! Mainly the so-called 'SMG4 crew'!" KNG9 looks around a bit, admiring the impressive, wide land then suddenly says, pointing to a person far away in a brightly coloured outfit and long thin..tail? With a warning/ danger sign???..."And who's that then?" "Uh well, first of all I'm not a Pokédex i'm a guide" Gem responds in a bit of a sassy tone "Yeah I know, I didn't need reminding Sherlock" KNG9 sarcastically scoffs back, to which Gem ignores and continues on "Secondly, I'm not sure, I'm only set with the information about the area, not the specific people that live in it" KNG9 hums in understanding, even if the jewel was annoyingly right. For some reason, without thinking, KNG9 walks towards the silhouette, feeling a sense of being drawn to them...like an unknown sense of warmth, not from the sun...but from the unknown person, even if it was a bit strange....."Excuse me" She says, announcing her presence to the other in front of her once she gets to them, making the other jump a bit before they turn around. ????: "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't see you there! I haven't seen you before, have you just showed up?" The stranger asks in a slightly shy but welcoming tone..huh? Wasn't this person freaked out by her? She was a damn DRAGON!! And the other seemed....polite, almost..magnetic in a strange unknown way, hm..it's most likely nothing, probably just having human interaction after so long. She replies in a calm tone "Yeah, I only just showed up, I'm KNG9 by the way" The stranger smiles and introduces herself "Nice to meet you! I'm CSD!! I'm sure you will be quite comfortable here!" Then the now known CSD says excitedly "OH CAN I GIVE YOU A TOUR?!?" KNG9 slightly is taken back from the question, hearing Gem in the distance as they take care of the ship so it doesn't go anywhere else shouting a slightly echoed "HEY THAT'S MY JOB!!" And at this, to slightly annoy her companion and get back at their sass, says with a slight mischievous smirk, and for no other reason at all *;)* "Sure, go ahead"

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#my oc stuff #story #KNG9 #oc lore #wattpad #new character #Gem #CSD #smg4 csd #part 2 #more lore #time for theories lol

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kitkatt0430 · 5 months ago

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4,31,60 and whatever other ones you want for harrisco pleeease :)

4.) Which one is more protective? Who needs to be ‘protected’?

Harry is definitely the more over protective of the two. It caused friction in his relationship with Jesse and I could see that instinct trying to creep into things with him and Cisco too despite being well aware that Cisco can take care of himself.

I also tend to see Harry's 'she kicked me off my earth' reaction to Jesse getting upset over Harry's micromanagement and over protectiveness as evidence he has a bit of rejection sensitive dysphoria. And that also his instinct on feeling rejected was to seek out Cisco.

Whenever Harry starts leaning into that overprotectiveness too much, Cisco rather firmly tells Harry he needs to back it down. Sometimes they argue about it and it's them, sometimes there's shouting and the throwing of dry erase markers (not at each other). But Harry has trauma over losing loved ones and Cisco understands that and takes it very seriously. He isn't going to let Harry use that trauma as an excuse to be smothering or controlling, but it does help to remember where Harry's coming from when talking - or arguing - him down from a freak out.

Cisco can have a bit of an overprotective streak himself, though. And after the whole thing with DeVoe is over, Harry may have accepted what happened to him when it was essentially killing him but now he has to live with it and I think maybe sometimes the person he needs the most protecting from is from himself and his anger and frustration he struggles with while learning to live with the resulting brain damage. And Cisco really, really wants to protect him from that and it's the hardest thing to know that he can't make it all better. He can only really support Harry while he finds his way through.

31.) Can they sit side by side without touching the other or are they handsy? (lacing fingers, touching knees, etc.)

Oh they definitely are the handsy sort. Harry isn't the most touchy-feely of people, but when it comes to Cisco he's always reaching out. A hand on his shoulder, on his thigh, touching knees, arm around the shoulder. And he encourages Cisco to do the same. Not that Cisco needs much encouragement since he is a rather touchy-feely type.

By the time they start dating no one is surprised by this behavior in them, but when Harry started getting more demonstrative in their friendship before the dating started there was definitely some surprise. I think Jesse was very pleased to see it, though. The only person he'd felt comfortable being close with until then was her and now he finally had a support structure and a friend he was close enough with to be physically demonstrative with and tease about things? She was so very, very pleased. And even more so when Cisco and Harry finally got together.

60.) Who pulls the other closer when they’re sleeping?

Cisco expected this would be him most often. And certainly he does it a lot. But Harry is suuuuper grabby in his sleep. Holding on to Cisco like he never wants to let go.

And, barring trips to the bathroom where it is a pain to get free of those grabby hands, Cisco is pretty much fine with that.

#otp ask game #thank you for asking #kitkatt0430 answers #cisco ramon #harry wells #harrisco #cisco x harry

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razzle-zazzle · 2 months ago

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give us the essay, coward

Okay.

The first example of how Skylor and Cole's flaws and personal issues will drive the conflict of the story can be seen in the lines, "High achiever / don't you see? / baby nothing comes for free / they say I'm a control freak / driven by a greed to succeed / nobody can stop me" as they are excellent for Skylor's character; she has learned from her father how to manipulate and play to expectations, and many of her actions in the AU are motivated by Chen's plans and desires due to Skylor feeling unable to escape being his daughter, his tool, raised with love that is wholly conditional and bound to go away if Skylor cannot fulfill expectations.

The next line "'cause it's my problem if I wanna pack up and run away" is an essential Cole line; it is seen both with Lilly and Zane's death that Cole's response to grief is to first assume extra responsibility, then cave and run away when that self-imposed pressure becomes too much for him. As he enters the Tournament still grieving Zane and facing the sudden inevitability of a marriage he's unsure about, he finds himself wanting to run away from the reality of it. "It's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway" both works to how Kai processed his grief over Zane with self-destructive tendencies and to how Skylor schemes and manipulates for her father's benefit—and thus, her benefit by remaining in his favor—despite these actions going against her nature and personal desires.

"It's my problem / it's my problem if I feel the need to hide" is again another Cole line about how he ducks away from emotionally difficult situations and prefers to stay closed off, as shown during multiple prior points in the series, not the least being the love triangle and how there was a lot Cole could have and wanted to express to Jay but simply didn't until they were all but forced to reconcile in the arena on Chen's island. This also foreshadows how his refusal to tell the other ninja about the engagement comes back to bite him later, prompting him to nearly close off further.

"And it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die." That's just a Skylor line straight up. It's made pretty clear in canon that Chen is a shitty father, and it's also either said or heavily implied that Skylor had never left the island prior to ToE. Thus, there is an aspect of isolation to her character that Chen undoubtedly takes advantage of, and allows her to connect with Kai so quickly over little commonalities.

And that's not even getting into the rest of the song! That's just the second verse! The very opening lines of the song, "I was pulling out my hair / the day I got the deal / chemically calm / was I meant to feel / happy that my life / was just about to change" are like. Ohhhh they are so "Cole getting the invite to the tournament & Skylor spotting him on the ferry" vibes as they both realize that oh, yeah, that whole marriage thing is about to come up, isn't it? From a more literal standpoint the whole "the day I got the deal" line would imply when they first got their pendants, but they were small children at that point who didn't even really understand what being married would actually entail so reuniting at the ferry seems more poignant.

And the next lines "One life pretending to be / the cat who got the cream / oh, everybody said, / 'Marina is a dreamer' / people like to tell you / what you're gonna be" can apply to either Skylor or Cole! Skylor having to be the loyal daughter (the useful tool) or Cole having to live up to one of his parents' legacies (not to mention the whole phase where he was pretending to be a dancer and lying to Lou about it, especially since in Betrothal Cole also lied to Skylor in the exact same way until s01e09 "The Royal Blacksmiths").

"It's not my problem if you don't see what I see / and I do not give a damn if you don't believe / my problem / it's my problem that I never am happy / and it's my problem / it's my problem on how fast I will succeed" is a little less clear to me; "my problem... will succeed" are very clearly Skylor lines, while "it's not my... you don't believe" could be interpreted in a number of ways. If I was making an animatic, I would likely use imagery on those lines that likens to the biggest complication of the whole engagement situation: Chen. He doesn't care what anyone else has to say about the engagement, least of all the engaged pair themselves. It's all a ploy meant to buff up his own power and prestige—which makes it all the more ironic in the end when it's the connection Cole and Skylor make that ultimately causes Chen's downfall.

And I haven't even gotten into the refrain or the bridge yet! The refrain is just... ough it works so well. "Are you satisfied / with an average life? / Do I need to lie / to make my way in life?" Works so so well with how, for all that the marriage would bring major change to Cole's life, Skylor's status quo of being just another asset for her father remains unchanged. And then of course the line about lying both plays into Skylor and Cole's fake dating schtick and to how Skylor can't live a normal life with her own interests because of the role Chen forces her to play.

"Are you satisfied / with an easy ride? / Once you cross the line / will you be satisfied?" In some ways, just going along with the current would make Cole and Skylor's lives easier, for all that Chen would still continue to make everything a thousand times more difficult. Chen lives in blatant luxury despite his exile, and it's implied that the same is afforded to Skylor (so long as she stays in line and acts the perfect daughter, perfect useful tool)—and in this AU, he explicitly uses this luxury to try and tempt Cole into turning against the other ninja, offering an "easy ride" to being on the "winning side" when Chen's plan goes through. And indeed, though Cole is steadfastly loyal to the ninja and Skylor manages to go against her father in a way she can't hide or take back in the end, there a multiple points in the story where it almost seems like they won't and Chen will effectively "win" at convincing them. But not only is crossing the line almost seen with Cole seemingly turning against the ninja—it's actually seen when Skylor fully turns against Chen, thus crossing the line. As such, the refrain applies to the AU in how Cole and Skylor are both presented with opportunities to "go with the flow" or to go against the grain, and whether they can be satisfied with the actions they take.

The bridge is a bit more general Skylor childhood angst, but could also be applied to the slow death of Lilly and how that impacted Cole as a person. Really, it's the second verse and the refrain that carry this song for this AU, and work wonderfully to showcase how Cole and Skylor's particular issues come into play and drive the story forwards—and how Chen also drives things, in his own awful Chen way.

#ask zaz #lego ninjago #betrothal au #skylor chen #cole ninjago #fr tho oh my godddd this song. this song.#i am having a category 2 brainrot event rn bc of this song guys #i am not apologizing for the length of this btw <3 #you asked for an essay you're getting an essay <3333

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