#i'm more of a door 3 girlie but door 2.... door 2 hits

[jichanxo]

bestia [from jan/2022]

[troutfur]

Since you allow aus, for the warriors ficlets perhaps the med cat Lionblaze au? :0 Preferably maybe Leafpool and Lionpaw bonding over herbs? That might be cute but honestly I'm leaving the door open for you to do whatever you want with the idea <3

(Want a chance at your own ficlet prompt being chosen? Check out my guidelines and hit me up!)

I feel like way too often we get med school prodigies in the medicine den. Where is my dropout representation? Where are my can't for the life of them remember the most basic facts about biology girlies? Why can't we ever see a dumbass or two in there?

Kestrelflight usually occupies that space in my headcanons but his deal is more about angst. He goes from a rather carefree apprentice enjoying the extended adolescence that comes with the double-length apprenticeship AND ON TOP OF THAT having been "held back a grade" to suddenly dealing with Barkface dying an agonizing and slow death before he's remotely ready to take ever. It's a headcanon I've gotten a lot of mileage of and it's based on exactly like 2 pieces of information from the books.

With Lionblaze while there's an angst side I can more easily imagine it being funny too. Such is the duality of the Lionblaze you know? From the himbo to the monster the line is thin and this fundamental juxtaposition is what makes him him. This one did not turn out funny but it's certainly not the type of heavy Kestrelflight always brings out in me.

Preamble only mostly written as a procrastination strategy aside, I offer thee:

Lionpaw huffed from his nose in frustration as he considered the herbs before him. Leafpool had relieved him from his training duties for the time being already but he couldn’t just let it go. Whatever the diference between the yellow flowers was he had to figure out how to tell them apart. The thought occured to him to ask Jaypaw for help but just imagining the complaining and grumbling he’d have to put up with just for daring to bring it up to him dissuaded Lionpaw from it.

Crouching low once again, Lionpaw studied the plants before him, from the roots to the petals from the stems to the leaves. Whatever that something he was sure he was missing, whatever that thing that Leafpool could pick up on immediately when he couldn’t, he was no closer to figuring it out than when he began. With his mind drifting and drifting, ever more tired an unable to process the images and sensations before him, Lionpaw finally decided to call it quits, scattering the petals with the sweeping movements of his front paws.

Huffing, Lionpaw decided to curl up into a ball and dig his face deep, deep below his paws. He was only now noticing how much his head had begun to hurt from the exertion and how desperate he was for a nap. But with noon moving to evening the time for rest and relaxation under the warm lick of the sun was coming to a close and he’d be expected to be ready to attend to his apprentice duties and be ready for any further lessons his mentor had prepared for him.

When Leafpool came back to the den, having just attended to a grooming session with other clanmates she frowned seeing the scattered herbs and her apprentice lying balled up towards the entrance of the den. “Lionpaw,” she meowed as she gave out an exasperated huff. “I told you to take a rest for a reason. Now you’ve not only ended up learning nothing but...”

Burrying himself deeper into his paws, Leafpool’s lecture went on. Lionpaw could feel his pelt grow hotter . It was true he had been disobeying his mentor directly but...

He recalled the last half-moon meeting. Willowpaw had been quick to quiz him on everything she assumed he’d know already, having started to train not long after Hollypaw’s first and only of those. Question after question after question it only left him confused and upset and suddenly a little ashamed of the achievement he’d meant to brag in learning how to bind a wound with cobwebs.

“Lionpaw!” Leafpool yelled. “Did you listen to anything I even said?”

Lifting his head from beneath his paws and meekly looking at his mentor he dejectedly shook his head.

As Leafpool came to see his ashamed face, she released a sigh and lowered to his eye level. “Have you thought about becoming a warrior apprerntice once again?” she suggested. “It’s not like it’s urgent I train an apprentice, I’m still rather young...”

“No!” Lionpaw immediately declared, jumping to his paws and puffing out his fur in panic. “Leafpool, please I...” He trailed off trying to think of his next words. “Please, just. Since you’re young that means you have a lot of time to train me right? I could just be an apprentice for longer than normal, I wouldn’t mind. Just. Please. It’s the only other option. Leafpool if I become a warrior apprentice I could--”

“Calm down, calm down,” Leafpool urged. “Lionpaw, please breathe.”

Shrinking into his shoulders and wrapping his tail around his feet, Lionpaw bowed his head down.

“I, well,” Leafpool said trying to find the words. “I can try to work with you Lionpaw but I think at some point we must consider this may not be working. What will you do after I’m gone if you never end up learning?”

“I’ll learn,” he promised. “I’ll learn, I’ll learn, please. I just... I’m sorry I can’t be as good of an apprentice as Willowpaw.”

“I know how hard it can be to be a medic’s apprentice and not take to it as well as your peers,” Leafpool said. “You remind me of Mothwing just a little bit, you know?”

“Really?” Leafpool said.

She nodded. “Really. Maybe if you behave these next few days before the half-moon I can arrange something with her so you can learn some more from her.”

Lionpaw nodded, excited at the prospect.

[thatgirliehan]

reflection: Her

Description: An idol who loves art and a museum curator who makes art. With their slightly crazy friends, a 9-week deadline , a world tour, and a big secret, what could possibly go wrong?

NOTE: This is a fanfiction. Any resemblance to actual people is a coincidence. This story is from my brain and not real life.

My phone dinged right as I got off the bus. I glanced down as I start walking, it was a calendar alert "BTS concert TOMORROW". My heart skipped a beat and I couldnt help but do a quick happy dance. It's finaly happening, the thing I had been waiting on for MONTHS was finally tomorrow! With that happy reminder in the back of my head I waltzed through the doors of the museum where I worked, ready to start another day, a little happier than normal. "Good morning y/n", said Bill the front door guard "you seem a lot more awake today than normal, finally get coffee before work?" "Ha. Ha. Ha Bill, you're hilarious! The concert I've been waiting absolute months for is finally tomorrow, I'm just super excited!" "Oh, those pretty boys you constantly listen to, right?" said Bill. "Theyre called BTS Bill" I mumbled under my breath. Bill is about 70 years old and is like my work Grandpa. I love him to death, but he doesnt really get the whole kpop thing, he's more of a Willy Nelson type.

"Well, I need to go!" I said as I started walking away. "With the head curator and the other junior curator off at a conference for the rest of the week, I was the one basically running the museum. I was freaking out at first when they told me that they were BOTH going, I mean, I've only been working here 2 years, and I am the junior, JUNIOR curator. That means I get the fun jobs of writing up the placks for the art, or at most dusting the art. I'm not even allowed to touch the art by myself yet, you have to be a junior curator for that.

I get to my desk, because junior JUNIOR curators dont have an office, just a desk in the supply room (closet) and set my purse down on my desk. It was 30 minutes to 10, which was when we opened. I still had time to dust the main exhibit and turn on all the lights before I had to open the doors. My art museum was a small one, but we had a few really good pieces from some very famous artists, so we drew a modest crowd every day. Honestly, I was really lucky to have this job. Not many people get their dream job right out of college. I popped in an airpod and turned on my favorite cleaning playlist. Mic drop shuffled on first so of course I danced the chorus as I dusted, dropping my duster at the end of the song like Suga.

I finish up all of my opening tasks and head back to the front desk, as I'm straightening some pamphlets in the front desk, I hear my phone chime. I look down at the screen and see an alert that says "Sorry y/n, I'm throwing up everywhere, I'm not gonna make it to work today. Xoxo Minha" "Greaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttt", I think, my good mood vanishing in a flash, I'm completely alone today. Minha is my friend and a year younger than me, she works the front desk. With her gone, I'm going to have to do her job...and then it hits me. I'm ALONE. And I'm supposed to be researching and writing the placks for the new exhibit thats coming next week. Greattttttttttttt. I check the time, 5 minutes before opening. "Shiitttttttttttttrake mushrooms" I mutter under my breath as I run to my office...ok desk....and frantically grab my laptop, planner, 3 enormous reference books and my pouch and run back to the front desk. Looks like I'm going to be doing both today. "Curse you Minha", I think to myself as I drop everything on the front desk. I check my phone and I still have 3 and a half minutes till opening. Which is good, because since I hadn't expected to be at the front desk, I had only done minimal makeups....and in my personal experience, people were nicer when I had a more girly makeup style. I grabbed my pouch and got out my favorite (fine, only) yves saint laurent lip tint, it was a beautiful shiny coral pink color and it made me feel like I was a member of twice. I popped it on my lips and went to unlock the door. If I was lucky, maybe it would be an extra slow day and I would be able to get the rest of the placks done.

I....was not lucky. It was a very busy morning. So busy that I didn't have a single minute to even look at my reference books until 12:30. There was finally a lull as the morning crowd left so I grabbed my reference books and laptop and got to work typing up those placks. I was so engrossed in my research that I didnt notice someone had walked up to the front desk until I heard "uh, excuse me". I was so startled that I let out a high pitched yelp, jumping out of my chair, knocking it over.

Standing at the front desk was a boy. Man? He was very tall, wearing fashionable street wear, a baseball cap that shieled his eyes and a mask covering the lower half of his face.

"Ohmygoodness, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize anyone was there!" I said quickly, closing my laptop and picking my chair up from the ground.

"Uh...sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you" the man said in a low, soft voice.

[frauleinandry]

a persona 3 reload review

uuuuuuh so i was meant to post this like... two weeks ago, but then real life hit me in the head like a frying pan. now that i've had the time to edit this though, here are my thoughts on p3re! this is also a minato route review, as i played kotone's in P3P (i know it's not his canon name, but i don't want to use makoto due to P5 confusion).

on the whole, reload is a fantastic game. the gameplay easily rivals P5R, and surpasses it in some aspects. the new content is typically great. i also enjoyed minato as a character (well, as much of a character as persona protagonists are anyway), though that leads me to the main gripe i had with reload...

... and that's the lack of kotone's social links. to be precise, two of her social links, the absence of which greatly hurts the overall story.

don't get me wrong, i'd still rank reload a solid 8/10, but it could have been a 10/10 with the addition of those two links (plus one other spoiler thing), and I think that's a shame.

my in depth analysis is under the cut - note, it's very much not spoiler free.

okay, so, i'm gonna split this into 3.5 segments - the good, the mixed, and the bad (you'll find out what the 0.5 is later).

1. the good:

minato - while i'm still a kotone girlie at heart, he's not a bad protagonist at all! his dialogue options have a very distinct personality to them unlike joker and yu, and his character arc is one of the best of all of the persona main leads. an aloof, apathetic boy who learns to love the world/his friends so much he's willing to die for them... it's good!

koromaru - minor, but worth mentioning. you can pat him, and it's so cute. in fact, everything about him is perfect. from his all-out attack screen, to his animations, to... well, everything. no joke, if I needed to sell this game to a non-persona fan, i'd use him as the main draw.

hangout events - while I think being able to chat to everyone in the dorm already made SEES one of the more developed casts, having additional scenes really helped flesh out the party members who are less prominent in the plot (fuuka, pre-january aigis, ken). more things to do at night is also great, given there was nothing to do in the evening after maxing your social stats in the older versions. the perks they give you are great too, but i'll talk about that more later.

voice acting - not gonna lie, i generally don't like the persona dubs, and normally always play with the JP audio. given reload features some of my favourite voice actors though and was basically fully voiced, i decided to give it a chance this time. and i don't regret it! while some actors are definitely stronger than others, none of them were actively jarring, and quite frankly, they hard carried a lot of the social links. kudos to the cast!

strega - while they could have gone a bit further with it (jin needed a linked episode for sure), takaya finally got the development he sorely needed, and his and jin's final battles were actually interesting, instead of being annoying distractions from nyx. in fact, i'd say takaya's new content is easily the best of the new reload exclusive material. in portable, he made no impression on me whatsoever, but now, he finally gets to be the anti!minato he deserves to be.

1.5. the tartarus (aka good part 2, electric boogaloo):

i have so many things to gush about in terms of the new combat/exploration system, i decided it needed its own section! the glow-up tartarus got was massive. i was pretty disappointed when i heard they were keeping it randomly generated, but somehow, atlus pulled it off! i'll talk about individual things below.

collectables/monad doors - one issue with OG tartarus is that it's monotonous. breakable collectables make it much more entertaining to romp through though, as smashing things is Fun. the monad doors interspersed throughout are another good addition - if you want a break from roaming, you can challenge them, but if not, that's fine!

floor layout - another thing that makes tartatus more fresh to explore is that the HD graphics really make the differences between the blocks pop out. the generally smaller floors with more unique layouts really helps too.

shifting - it's baton pass, though without the ridiculous power/sp bonuses that made baton pass a little bit too gamebreaking in persona 5. in other words, perfect!

theurgy - out of all the battle-specific improvements, theurgy and the personality traits have got to be my favourites. showtimes were fun, but too random/gimmicky to be that useful, and ultimate skills tended to fluctuate between being absolutely gamebreaking or too SP intensive to be worth using. blending them into one feature with a content-specific gauge fixes all the problems with them while keeping everything that made showtimes/ultimate skills good.

ambush mechanics - this was one of the things i was most worried about before playing reload. ambushing in P5 is fun, but ambushing in the other persona games...? not so much. reload manages to fix this though by making the shadows less sensitive, which makes the early game a lot better, and but introducing dash-ambushes once the floors get bigger. if the persona 6 ambush system works like this, i'll be happy.

navigator skills - fuuka being retooled to work more like a playable character was an A+++ decision. making her skills player-activated but with an SP cost is so much more immersive than randomly getting a stat boost/enemy info.

unfortunately, while i think most of the tartarus additions were great, there were a few new mechanics which weren't... dreadful, per say, but could have been implemented better.

great clocks - they're better than nothing, but quite frankly, i would have preferred it if benched units got 50% exp instead. they incentivise you to drop two units for a period of time, which is annoying, given i want to use everyone on my first playthrough. late game, great clocks are also a pain to summon, for reasons i'll talk about below.

twilight fragments - i think they're a neat idea in theory, but they need to be easier/more reliable to farm. once you finish off the bulk of your social links/elizabeth's requests, replenishing them becomes a nightmare, which is annoying because you need them for great clocks.

2. the mixed:

while reload did a lot of things right, as per above, there were some things that didn't quite hit the mark.

linked episodes - i'm gonna be blunt. anyone who thinks these are better than social links is smoking something. one thing i like about party member social links is that it gives them a subplot outside of the main story, focusing more on their mundane struggles as opposed to their supernatural ones. half of the linked episodes just develop the main plot more though (and really should have just been included in it), meaning the linked episode exclusive subplots are underbaked.

another problem is that some of the linked episodes are just... kinda badly written. ryoji's completely lacks his existential dread, akihiko's comes off as a poor attempt to make his arena behaviour less OOC, while shinjiro's... it feels like persona 5 writing, in the worst way possible. it's like atlus completely forgot that subtext is a thing that's Good, actually.

while I have been fairly critical of them so far though, there are a couple of linked episodes i liked. koromaru's actually worked with the format, given he's a dog, but the real winner here was takaya. i loved all of his. if linked episodes appear again, i'd rather they be locked to antagonists like him.

art direction- i'll say right now - the UI is fabulous, the model shaders are great, and tartarus looks fantastic. the environmental design on the whole though is a bit iffy - a lot of the environments didn't translate to the super HD very well, and the lighting sucks in general. i needed to turn down the brightness it was so eye-searing. the animation of the 2D cutscenes is also pretty mediocre, and while the 3D cutscenes tend to look better, they're held back by some of the character models looking a bit goofy (mitsuru's is probably the biggest offender). i also think they were too scared of making the sprites 'ugly', and therefore on the whole they're slightly less emotive than the ones in the older versions of the game, which is a pity.

3. the bad:

minato's social links - the vast majority of the minato-exclusive social links are just flat-out not great. serious props to the voice actors here, since they hard carried them. quite frankly, they're just... bland, except for maya's and suemitsu's, which. uh. have problems. on the topic of social links, while i'm happy the romance isn't mandatory anymore, i don't like how half the girls explicitly confess to you. i much prefer the more subtle vibes of the P5/P4 romantic options, as yeah, most of them can lead naturally into romance, but they don't make the MC feel like a harem anime protagonist (derogatory). it kinda brings to mind this twitter post; sometimes, subtlety is simply better.

the absence of shinji and ryoji's social links - i can live without saori, rio, and most of the new and improved SEES member social links, but this is where i draw the line. while shinji dying is better storytelling, just like with chidori, having the option to save him is also important. lock it behind new game plus, yes... but keep it. also, him priming kotone to support akihiko one he's gone is far better than him just flat-out telling minato that he's dying. ryoji's missing social link though is infinitely worse. where is his slowly mounting horror as he starts poking holes in his backstory? his desperation to validate that he's actually real? that he exists?! like yeah, it's nice that the linked episode doubled down on his bisexuality, but i'd rather keep the psychological breakdown aspects of it, y'know?

the difficulty - i started playing reload normal - the level i'd typically use for a blind run of a persona game - aaaaand swapped to hard the second i unlocked theurgy. even then though, the game was a cakewalk until january hit. while i love theurgy, the game is absolutely not scaled around it, especially since you can charge/concentrate them. doing that, you can easily rack up thousands of damage without even going ham with fusion. unfortunately, reload is just... really easy.

the plot's too faithful to the original - while reload added new content, it pretty much left the story untouched outside of the beach scene. that's... not good, as persona 3's narrative had some pretty big problems. the biggest issue is the unchanged pacing - the strega storyline really needed to start a month earlier, and ryoji needed an extra month to integrate with the characters due to his lack of social link. this is one of the things i'm explicitly docking a point for - reload still doesn't kick off until the yakushima arc, which is well over a third into the game.

despite my criticisms, i do want to note that my experience with reload was predominately positive. it's (extremely) sad that you still need to play portable to experience the full persona 3 story, but p3re is still a fantastic game, and has a lot of gameplay features i'd be delighted to see in persona 6.

that's all i've got to say for now - until next time!

[fantastickkay]

Album Review of the Week: Ke$ha - Animal (2010)

Kesha Sebert ushered in the 2010s in the most iconic way imaginable. By kicking down the doors and bringing mainstream pop to a whole new level! It took me a few years to get it, I have always been more of a Gaga girlie, but once I got it a few years later - I was obsessed!

We kick it off with probably the most radio friendly track on the album, Your Love Is My Drug. Lyrically, it is borderline as far as the radio goes but the structure of the whole thing is total radio material. I love the lyrics and vocal delivery of the verses, they go together so well and she is able to convey the desperation. Then, the chorus is explosive and worthy of blasting in your Jeep in the summer! At the end, we get a silly spoken word section that sort of introduces what you are in for with the rest of the album, NOTHIN' BUT SASS.

Track 2 is the big hit, Tik Tok. Ever since this song hit the scene, it has been a legendary party track. As with the previous song, it is perfectly structured for the mood it is going for. I hear it and long for my house party days!

Next, we have Take It Off. This is one of my favorites! The Streets of Cairo interpolation, the deep thumping synths that just inject right into your veins. I also love the lines 'I'm not the designated/driver so I don't give a' and 'Get my drunk text on, I'll regret it in the morning/but tonight I don't give a'. This song definitely echoes back to a long gone time in my life.

Our first deep track is Kiss N Tell. This song is so perfectly synthy and poppy and bouncy. The lyrics are a little juvenile but they do perfectly portray some aspects of partying because I definitely witnessed some bitter rivalries!

Stephen is a rare moment of vulnerability, although it still has all of the instrumentation that is very 80s video game and synthy. Even though it is a soft ballad, we still get a lot of sass and the lyrics are not what you might predict for this sort of song, making it fun to listen to.

Blah Blah Blah (featuring 3OH!3) is another one of my favorites. I love the disorienting intro with the layered vocals that are all over the place. Another great chorus for driving around with the windows down or jumping around at a party! It is also fun to see 3OH!3 involved as they were huge around this time as well in the same realm of crazy party music.

Hungover is another soft ballad set to heavy synths and striking drum beats. It is a unique breakup song in the way she isn't sure if she is really sad and missing the person, or if she's just plain hungover. It also shows another side to the party, when everyone is gone and you're just left with yourself. What happens then?

After recovering from that hangover, the tempo picks up as we head over to a Party At A Rich Dude's House. This one is a bit rockier than the rest so far, even has a guitar! Another fantastic chorus to get you in the party mood - so much fun!

Backstabber is a standout, again it has that cat-fight feeling, but it sounds so fun! The instrumentals are so energetic, the melody is fun and I love how her voice kinda slurs/fades out at the end of some lines. The production has been great this whole time, but it really stands out on this track.

Blind is a track that I do not often revisit unless I am listening to the album as a whole. I like how her voice sounds during the "you'll miss me till the day you die", other than that it is a pretty forgettable track in the midst of everything else.

Dinosaur is one of the funniest songs not performed by a novelty band. I absolutely love the crazy laughing bits and the lyrics are so cooky and playful. The overall sound isn't as nice as we have grown accustomed to, but that may be on purpose to play into the silliness of this particular tune.

Dancing With Tears in my eyes in another attempt to be deep while playing into the club image. While I appreciate the deviation from the usual heartbreak tune, it does get a little old especially since we seem to be going back and forth between vulnerable and party/silly vibes.

Back to the fun with Boots & Boys. This one is a fan favorite, as well as one of my own. It is always on my workout playlist! The melody of the verses is a lot of fun and we get that crazy cosmic stutter thing again.

We close out with the title track, Animal. This song is fine, but it is nothing too memorable for me. In interviews leading up to the album, Kesha said that she chose the album title because she wanted people to lose themselves in the music and let out their animal side and go crazy. I think the contrast of that message with the subdued song that snags the same title is interesting.

Overall, this is a legendary debut album chock full of bonafide party hits! Although the back and forth between moods gets to be a little much after a while, this album has stellar production and lyrics. A great performance!

[purpleandsilver]

@lifemod17 tagged me in this so here's

Scarlet's Top Ten Songs

Here's the list:

Ascensionism- Sleep Token

The Summoning- Sleep Token

Work Song- Hozier

Stick Season- Noah Kahan

Waiting On The Sky To Change- Starset ft. Breaking Benjamin plus Judge & Jury

Hurt You- Spiritbox

Faultline- Starset

Already Dead- iPrevail

Ashley- Halsey

Concrete Jungle- Bad Omens

This list was almost impossible to make. My music library on YouTube Music is HUGE. Would be bigger if I was still a fan of Taylor Swift.

Full explanations below the cut 🔽

Tagging @murderofcrow if they want to participate 💜

1. Ascensionism: Sleep Token

Album: Take Me Back To Eden

Why: The god-tier drums, the guitars, the piano at the beginning and end, the lyrics. Everything about it is a masterpiece made for my ADHD brain to absolutely vibe to. Vessel said "worship" and my brain went, "bitch I may be asexual but I'm on my knees for this song"

Favorite part: lipstick, chemtrails, red flags, pink nails/ with one eye on the door, other eye on a rail/other other eye following a scarlet trail and the last drops from the Holy Grail

2. The Summoning- Sleep Token

Album: Take Me Back To Eden

Why: TikTok likes to call this song "the baby making song" and you know what? I get it. I've never fucked, but I suppose men can last for six minutes and thirty six seconds. Women definitely can. Anyways, I love how this song has range. It goes from god-tier drums (II is an absolutely amazing drummer), to epic guitar, to just the most epic of everything. The lyrics are even better.

Favorite Part: Oh and my love?/ Did I mistake you for a sign from God? Or are you really here to cut me off?/ 'Cause these days, I'd be lying if I told you that/I didn't wish I could be your man.

3. Work Song- Hozier

Album: Hozier

Why: Back when I felt like I had to listen to pop music Just Because, I wandered into the realm of Hozier. Now, Hozier I would classify more as alternative, maybe even folk, more than pop. But this song popped up when I was listening to cardigan (by Taylor Swift), and it's just... omg. Work Song is utterly an obsession and every time I hear it I'm hitting repeat faster than the speed of a bullet.

Favorite Part: Nothin' in her room, but an empty crib/And I was burnin' up a fever/didn't care much, how long I lived/But I swear I thought I dreamed her

4. Stick Season- Noah Kahan

Album: Stick Season

Why: Once you become a Hozier girlie (gn), the path that leads you to Noah Kahan is nothing more than a slip n' slide. Stick Season's chorus sums perfectly why I hate living in Ohio even though the song is about Vermont

Favorite Part: And I'll dream each night of some version of you/That I might not have, but I did not lose/Now you're tire tracks and one pair of shoes/ And I'm split in half but that'll have to do

5. Waiting On The Sky To Change- Starset ft. Breaking Benjamin + Judge & Jury

Album: N/A (single)

Why: Starset was introduced to me in high school. I'm not sure how I found their first album, but somehow I went from Bastille to Starset. Don't ask. No, I wasn't okay. Lol. This song was released two years ago and it's a whole vibe.

Favorite Part: I've been frozen since that day/ I saw my clear blue skies as they turned to gray in front of me/ It's hard to find my way Can I rise above when giving up is all know?

6. Hurt You- Spiritbox

Album: Eternal Blue

Why: The beat and especially the drums (I love me some good ass drums).

Favorite Part: I hope you find what you're fighting for/ I am happier when I hurt you/ Your medicine is the coldest war

7. Faultline- Starset

Album: Divisions

Why: Again with the drums. But particularly the lyrics. To me, it's a song about feeling insecure and anxiety. I often feel shaky in my most anxious moments so this song gets it. What's more anxious than an earthquake?

Favorite Part: It's never black and white, no/ Going seismic out of spite, oh/ I never know if it's your fault or mine

8. Already Dead- iPrevail

Album: Lifelines

Why: The heavier metal beats, the loud vocals

Favorite Part: Tell me now, how do you sleep at night?/With the Devil in your bed laying right by your side

9. Ashley- Halsey

Album: Manic

Why: I can't explain, but I feel this song deeply and personally. It's a song of longing.

Favorite Part: And if only/ the time and space wasn't lonely/ l'd disintegrate into a thousand/ I think I'm making a mistake, who will fill the empty space?

10. Concrete Jungle- Bad Omens

Album: The Death Of The Peace Of Mind

Why: I love the synth vocals, I love how the chorus feels so epic.

Favorite Part: The coyotes cry/ And the sirens pass and harmonize/ Fires starting every day and night/ Burn around us while we're trapped inside/ Wouldn't it be nice/ To play the game without a crooked die

[dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice]

L’histoire secrète de la mer /// Chapter 2

Damn another chapter in a day. I'm gonna start posting this on AO3 for anyone who prefers that platform. In the meantime, enjoy! x

Summary: Magic was real, but it came at a price. So when two girls end up in the one place they never thought they could reach, strange things began to happen. Good or bad? That's up to them to find out.

Tags: Fili x oc/reader - Kili x oc (for this POV fic visit my navigation) - Thorin's company × ocs/reader (platonic) - fluff - angst - EXTREME slow burn - crack - Bagginshield

Word Count: 1947

Warnings: Swearing

Taglist - comment or message to be added!

PLEASE START FROM THE BEGINNING IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY OK LOVE U

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PART 1: Chapter 2 -

Deep, quiet, and alone;

The Song Thrush has brown upper-parts and black-spotted cream or buff underparts. Its distinctive song, which has repeated musical phrases, has frequently been referred to in poetry.

Kate let out a groan as my hand tapped her repeatedly on the shoulder. She waved her arm about, eyes still shut tight until the onslaught stopped. Marching over to the window, I ripped the curtains open, the blinding light of the morning sun hitting her directly in the face.

“Girlie get the fuck up.” I pushed.

Letting out more groans of complaint, Kate’s face scrunched up as she rolled over away to face the wall, only to be met with a wad of paper that I aimed at the back of her head.

“Kate.” I said, exasperated.

Now somewhat awake, she rolled back over and leant up on her elbow to face me.

“What-?” She croaked in confusion.

I glared at her with wide eyes, before looking pointedly at the piece of paper I had aimed at her.

Looking down at her assaulter, she picked up a leaflet, the front a picture of a waterfall, with the title ‘Magic of Ullswater’ printed in a bold white font. She looked back at me with groggy eyes and messy hair as I sat perched on my bed.

“Ah,” She guiltily scrunched her face in realisation, “was this today?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed, pointing at the glaring number on my phone. “And it’s already seven!”

“Don’t worry, I’m up” She rolled out of bed and swung open the wardrobe doors, grabbing what she needed before heading to the bathrooms to freshen up and get ready. Within twenty minutes she was back in the room, and by some miracle managing to get ready in half the time. On an average day she would take at least an hour.

After a quick breakfast in the canteen, we went back up to ensure everything needed was packed and ready for today’s hike. After all, going to see the waterfall was one of the main reasons we had gone. You mention rocks to me, and forests to Kate, we are there.

We laced up our walking boots and headed outside, up the path until we reached the edge of the road where the shuttle bus dropped us off days earlier. The weather had changed for the better, the temperature hiked up to a comfortable twenty two degrees accompanied by a blue sunny sky. Perfect for today’s plans, where only summer clothes were required.

I wore my cargo trousers, along with a grey cropped vest top and a thin zip up hoodie tied around my waist.

Kate on the other hand was wearing her cream vest top tucked into her baggy olive green trousers, and a thick brown belt looped through, with a loose fitting chunky white cardigan left unbuttoned over the top.

Unfortunately Dr Martens and platform crocs weren’t the most suitable shoes for hiking, lest you want your ankles broken, so were replaced with hiking boots, and obviously waterproofs were packed away in our rucksacks just in case. As lovely as it was, you can never trust English weather.

Eventually, the local bus slowed to a stop. Sifting through my pockets I pulled out and counted up what loose change I had, handing it over. After stating our destination and receiving our tickets, we headed to the back of the relatively empty bus, which was surprising considering it was the middle of summer. We both placed down our rucksacks and sat on either side of the aisle, propping up our feet on the other seats. With a groan and a jolt, the bus’s engine sprang back to life, and begun its journey down the road, over the vast rolling hills.

“Hey.” I said, waiting for Kate to turn away from the window, “Did you remember to bring the passes?”

She leant back in mock offense. “Of course.” she retorted. “Must you deem me that unreliable??”

I snorted at her reaction. “Well you forgot what day it was earlier, so I had to double check.”

She deadpanned at me, reaching into her bag to procure two sheets of paper, shoving them up at me so I could see the print. “I double checked at least ten times, after all this saves us the twenty quid entry.”

I sat back with a quiet sigh of relief, whilst Kate safely tucked the papers back away. Looking back, she asked me which part of the trail I wanted to visit first.

My eyes darted around as they narrowed in thought.

“The waterfall.” I declared. “You’ve been before, is it close to the entrance?”

“Somewhat.” She answered as she picked at her lip. “Within a fifteen-ish minute walk of the car park.”

“As long as you actually remember where to go.” I taunted, before laughing at her frown. “Cuz I wanna see some stratification.” I said eagerly, tapping on the diagram in the book on my lap.

“Well as long as you don’t start licking the rocks as soon as we get there, otherwise you’ll scare the children off.” She tormented, ducking down with a giggle as the book was launched at her head.

Soon enough, we arrived, and after Kate proved to me that she actually knew the route, we followed the continuous thundering noise of rushing water until we reached the 65 foot waterfall, now towering ahead of us. I jogged ahead, eager to reach the moss covered bridge that curved over the deep ravine that the water had carved into the rock. At halfway I stopped to lean over the fence, facing down into the narrow abyss of water below, tilting enough to the point where my legs began to lift from the floor.

“Oi!” Kate cried, jogging to catch up. “You can’t swim, so if you fall, don’t think I’m going in after you.”

“Are you a lifeguard or not?” I pointed out incredulously, leaning further over in a taunting manner. “It’s literally you’re job to go after me.”

“Well it’s not like I’m being paid right now to do so.” She answered as she caught up to me. “Pay me my hourly rate and then I’ll think about going after you.”

I scoffed in disbelief at her audacity before my attention returned to admire the waterfall before me.

It wasn’t long before a high pitched trill from above caught Kate’s attention. Raising her head, she stared at the dense foliage above her, before spotting whatever it was and wandering outside my peripheral vision. The sound of a Polaroid shutter went off behind me several times, before going silent again. Within a minute, I felt a finger poke my shoulder, and I turned to see Kate pointing further down the path.

My eyes followed said footpath and from a distance, I managed to make out a clearing bathed in the scattered beams of the midday sun.

“How about we have lunch down there?” She suggested.

I nodded in agreement, and we both made our way over. After decided what was the sunniest spot, we laid out the blanket and sat down, putting out the food we were able to fit in our bags.

“That bird.” I tried to say, my voice half muffled by my hand that was hiding my mouthful of sandwich as I spoke. “What was it?”

“A song thrush,” Kate replied, swallowing her own sandwich. “According to some article I read a while back they’re quite common round these parts”.

“I didn’t know you birdwatched?” I pondered.

“I did quite a bit when was younger. To be fair though, I only recognised it because of The Hobbit.” She admitted.

My eyes widened in realisation, and we both pointed at each other with a grin. “Of course!” I laughed, before turning back to my sandwich. “When the thrush knocks!”

“Stand by the grey stone when the thrush knocks and the setting sun with the last light of Durin’s Day will shine upon the keyhole.” Kate recited without a stutter.

I lowered my sandwich and turned back towards her slowly, side-eyeing her with a face of suspicion. She side-eyed back.

“Your short term memory should’ve taken that in and flung it out the other side.” I disputed.

She frowned.

“And you didn’t even mess up the words once.”

Side-eyeing me once more, I watched as she slowly brought her phone up to her face. I glared in even further suspicion as she began to furiously type away at the keyboard. Within seconds I had enough.

“Ok what the fuck are you typing over there.” I demanded, discarding my sandwich, and speeding across the blanket to stare over her shoulder and began to read aloud. “Kay is anti-mental disorde— ??? I’M NOT DISSING YOUR ADHD???? NO. DON’T SEND THAT TO THE GROUPCHAT. KATE. SWEAR DOWN I WILL— NO! TAKE YOUR FINGER AND PRESS DELETE RIGHT NOW. NO NO NO. ROXIE WILL EAT ME ALIVE. DELETE THAT SHIT. NO. COME BACK.”

Kate cackled as she leapt up and ran the length of the clearing, watching as I scrambled up in a frenzy after her. To my horror, she held it up in front of her to read aloud any replies from the chat, interrupted every so often by my aggravated screams of frustration.

I chased her around the grass, until we both collapsed back on the blanket, too exhausted to carry the conflict further. I pointed my finger at her accusingly.

“You better delete it.” I managed between heaves. She held out her hand expectantly.

“That’ll be ten pounds.” She requested with a grin on her face.

“Oh, piss off.” I groaned exasperatedly, shoving her shoulder as she laughed.

Squabble over, I rolled over to pick up and return to the geography book I was reading on the bus. Kate did the same, but with The Hobbit, something she always brought along with her religiously.

Later, we packed up the picnic and explored the forest for a few hours, wandering off the path a few times to look for rocks or plants. A chilly breeze blew past and I made the mental note to check the time soon, but it seemed Kate had already beaten me to it.

“Hey Kay,” I heard her call, and I replied with a loud “YEA?”

From the bushes behind me, she said “we should think about heading back, if we wanna make it to the canteen for tea.”

I agreed, standing up from where I was crouched over a small stream, trying to find a type of mineral deposit I was reading about in my book earlier. Slinging our bags back over our shoulders, we both began to make our way back down the path, dodging the jagged roots and rocks. A short while passed before we reached the clearing we had eaten in earlier, the opening in the trees showed that the sky had begun to change colour, causing us to quicken our paces slightly to ensure we wouldn’t get caught out in the wilderness at night.

It wasn’t long before we were back at the waterfall, and we began our crossing of the bridge before I slowed down again like last time. Kate slowed too, and we both stopped in the middle to spend a moment, taking once last look at the towering waterfall, now bathed in the orange light of the evening’s golden hour.

A familiar chirp rang out through the trees, and Kate spun around, scouring the branches above her looking for the Song Thrush she had spotted earlier, whilst I turned back around to take pictures of the waterfall.

I began walking backwards over the bridge slowly, turning back to Kate as she carried on staring up at the foliage. I went to call for her, but only managed to open my mouth and let out a single sound.

Before it all went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[vsnotresponding]

🖊️+ Lyric (it’s been a while 🥺)

Absolutely will not be normal about this. I refuse.

🖊️+ Karma (workaholic train wreck I <3 you)

🖊️+ Sher (dunno if u can tell but I’m a sucker for manipulative characters. I’m just mmm the tension. Explain to me why you being so problematic plz and thank u)

🖊️+ Ira (my queen. Protect ur people girlie)

🖊️+ garavan (did I spell that right??? I wanna know more)

thanks for the ask <3 also long ass post 1k worth of stuff + art

at least i had the decency of sending multiple asks so tumblr wouldn't break with your answers /j

LYRIC

you are right it's been so long, but because i'm actively working on púlsar i don't talk much about UP even tho i do draw them

okay so, for lyric im sharing his literal origin story, as well as some facts about the man and some drawings i like of him.

first some facts:

he's pan and a flirt

in the college au he needs glasses to read

his flower is lycoris radiata (got it from this video, minute 3:35)

origin story:

so i had been toying with the concept of a character named lyric which lived through multiple déjà vus. and he died too. one day (on a plane to ireland with school) i drew this guy:

[who are you? I like you btw 25.02.19] [molt decent 25.04.19]

and i went "oh he's cool i like him". then, like two months later i was drawing ely and i got a revelation:

"lyric & ely belong 2 the same story. ely is the one thing that's different at his new life" which is INSANE of my brain to think about because ely is a character from 2017 i drew ONCE. and now here we are

and then i drew him for the first time, and then in a scene with ely <;3 (and then killing a monster but im not showing it because i didn't know how to draw profiles and it shows)

*trying very hard not to cringe at old art*

and here's some lyrics that i like:

redraw of the og lyric and ely scene // redraw of the redraw // lyric screaming at ely// I like his hair here // redraw of the og lyric fighting lost souls

college au lyric dabbing wearing a behold a pan shirt // first page of a sketchbook// tiny lyric from the afterlife comic look at him so tiny // lyric from a series of drawings I made with my OCs and their flags

where is your rider scene (inspired by the song by the oh hellos)

tiny lyric and akira from the comic based on the song Elsa's song from the amazing devil

and also the most gorgeous man i'll ever draw (from a piece called bring him back) for you to be very normal about (im very normal about this drawing of lyric sooooo normal):

KARMA

i find it hard to say things about karma because with his pov we learn most of the relevant stuff. so you are getting fun facts and a sad fact

first the fun:

in the modern aus he's legally blind. round golden rimmed glasses.

his plushy (you'll meet him in today's chapter i believe) is called jhai

his name comes from me hearing someone call their dog karma and going "oh that can be a name cool im using it" (the other dog was called kraken)

he's the character that has gone through the most extreme character design change of the bunch (mainly because everyone else didn't exist). but he was more of a black sheep of the family cool dude that could use guns (yes there were guns in púlsar early stages idk either). his hair was also auburn. and then idk what happened but i changed it to the mess he's now. very glad i did i love him

and now the sad. check tags for tw because oof:

so, my man is very depressed. his mom's death hit him hard and it was all in general a terrible time for him (also it was around his bday. this was totally unintentional i swear)

on the early days and in spite of the promise he made, he climbed onto his windowsill and thought about jumping. everything was just too much. fortunately, someone knocked on his door and scared him, he slipped backwards and fell to the floor. he hasn't told this to anyone and doesn't intend to, but even if that's two months before púlsar, that's basically the mental state he starts with

and stealing your phrase, spoiler for flavor: he doesn't end púlsar much better

SHER

i can't tell you much. but what i CAN do is show you some baby sher and karma being cute together so you are extra sad about today's púlsar chapter:

"baaaa" "will you stop pulling my hair?" // "mom look he's walking" (chasing a bird) & it's cut but it says "he's so tiny" // sher teaching karma how to read

sher being told he has to leave his mom's home "do i really need to leave?" and it's cut but it says "you need to learn to be a prince with your dad" // sher at the palace // sher and karma's plushy lions

also as a fun(?) fact, he was very close to his uncle (his mother's younger brother). he was a big support for him when he moved to the palace away from his mom, and acted as a shield (or as much as he could) between him and his father. the uncle's name is Ádil.

he was married to Orga (one of the members of the council, arranged marriage), and died shortly after karma moved to the palace (sher was around 16 by then, and for reference, he's 23 now). sher suspects that his uncle's death wasn't fully natural, but he still has to be nice to orga because she's powerful.

ádil was one of the few people in the council that openly opposed the shahin. go figures i wonder what happened there.

IRA

so i already answered an ask for her here, basically a love letter to her character i love her so much.

so you get old ira sketches being happy and free (and chaotic):

GARAVAN GARVAN

you did in fact not write that properly, but that's actually great because it gives a segue into a fun fact about him!

i affectionately call him gman and mostly all my notes refer to him as that. also, once my phone autocorrected his name to garbanzo (chick pea). bean (a nickname for a character from púlsar gen 2) calls him that (ira did totally not correct her when she started doing it because she thought it was 1. funny and 2. that it would annoy garvan). also! karma sometimes calls him G

as a not so fun fact: he often needs to be the balancing component in the friend group, being silly and making jokes. he doesn't look like it, but he's very caring and does worry a lot about karma (not that karma notices lol).

his mom died in childbirth so it was emhi's mom that took care of him (until she too died shortly after). we don't talk about their father.

he was close with sher when they were younger (sher used to beat him at sparring), bonding over being clear aldamu and what it meant for them (sher taught him things about khithi culture that his mom taught him).

(i have so Many Thought about emhi garvan and sher as young teens in the palace, you have no idea, there's some clues sprinkled around púlsar about it but that's all you are officially getting)

man that was long

[safetyandsurvival]

Tips for the ladies (defense)

1. Fun fact: your elbow is EXTREMELY powerful. Use it.

2. 🍇 drugs taste salty. If your on a date with someone your meeting for the first time, get a drink you usually get. If it tastes salty, or odd whatsoever, don't drink it.

3. You think someone is following you? Stay on main roads, don't take that shortcut down the shady alleyway. Don't immediately go to your house, if you can, go by a nearby store and wander around inside for abit. If you still think your being followed, get on the phone with someone. Anyone. Your mom, your dad, your great aunt; it doesn't matter. Hell, PRETEND to be on a phone call (helpful if your phone is dead).

4. Being attacked? Be gross. It sounds odd, but it's the truth. Spit, piss, shit, it doesn't matter. Whatever you think is going to get them off of you, do it.

5. Relating to point 4, don't fight fair. This isn't a friendly fade, your being attacked. Grab hair, pinch, bite, scratch, kick, punch, do whatever you need to do to free yourself.

6. Considering on your whereabouts, some defense tools aren't legal. But that doesnt mean you can't carry something that can't do damage. Keys are a big yes. Alot like a butterfly knife, you can get "butterfly clombs" which are the exact same but have a metal comb (sorry, but imagine slashing someone with the metal teeth of a comb. That's going to hurt). For anyone in school, something as simple as pens or pencils or protractors will do the job. Break a ruler in half, keep it in your pocket. Be creative, anything can be sharp and stabby if you want it to be.

7. For all my girlie's who wear nails, don't punch with a fist. You'll break your actual nails, and probably damage yourself more then your attacker. Instead, put your hand out like your giving someone a high five or use the base of your palm to hit. Its affective, and if you clock someone in the nose, it's going to hurt.

8. Heels. Did I mention carrying something sharp? Yeah, heels fit into that category. Just picture a heel and a person's eye and you'll start to realise what I'm getting at.

9. If you are walking in a place you don't know well or you've never been there before, don't be shy. Head high, walk with purpose. Looking like a damsel in distress will only make you one. If you have earbuds or headphones, put one in (or if you are wearing headphones, only rest one on your ear) and put Google maps on with that little annoying lady who screams the directions. This way, you don't look like a target but you can still manage to get to where you need to safely.

10. This one is drastic, but if your trapped in a car with the door locks on, remember that the headrests are detachable. Car windows are easier to break from the inside, and the pointy metal antenna looking things at the end of the headrests can be used to drive into the window and hopefully crack it.

11. Last one, don't ignore your gut. If you think something seems like a bad idea (walking down a new route, going to a club with bad reviews, even walking home alone, etc.) Then it probably is. Go for what you think Is safe, and you'll most likely be fine.

Stay safe lovelies!

[missymurphy1985]

The Mistake - Part One (Cillian Murphy X fem!reader)

Warning - smut (eventually, not here tho...) A bit of Cillian bashing.... But you'll forgive me, right?

You're Padraig Murphy's friend from high school, and you strongly disliked his older brother. He didn't like you much either.

But when your sister marries the younger Murphy brother, you're forced to work together to plan their joint hen & stag do.

Should be interesting...

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton @jardinsecos @bitchwhytho @gypsy-girl-08

"Who exactly were you expecting as his Best Man, y/n?"

"Well who were you expecting as Kate's Maid of Honour?"

Both of you fell silent at that. Not much more could be said really. He was the groom's only brother, you were the bride's only sister... Logical. Not ideal, but logical.

God he was a prick in school. Always acting the fool, never paid attention, sleeping his way through his year group (and the one above and below? At least that was the rumour going around. He never denied it anyway.

You were the polar opposite. Grade A student, a virgin until you were 19, completely straightlaced. Finishing high school with top marks before hitting university and completing your degree, specialising in veterinary medicine, and you had your own practice in Cork.

You knew he was an actor - his latest TV show was a huge hit around the world- but that's all you knew. You had no interest in following his career, you still saw him as that jumped up little asshole in high school.

Your sister and future brother in law had requested a joint stag and hen do. They had always done everything together, and neither of them were interested in the whole 'last night of freedom' deal. They wanted to celebrate their upcoming nuptials together with their friends and family. Which meant only one thing.

As Maid of Honour, you had been tasked to organise this 'STEN do' (Paddy Murphy - ever the comedian) alongside the Best Man. Paddy's older brother, Cillian fucking Murphy.

"So what are you thinking? Strippers?" He smirked.

"Are you serious?" You snapped, opening your front door to the man himself in Cork city centre. He'd arrived from his home in London that morning, having just finished filming series 2 of Peaky Blinders. A show you'd heard was quite good - you hadn't seen it. Nor would you.

"Lighten up, y/n, I'm kidding," he rolled his eyes as you let him in.

"You brought beer? It's 2pm?"

He set the beer on the counter and laughed.

"Still as uptight as you were twenty years ago huh?"

"Nice to see you too, Cillian."

"Let's just get this over with yeah? Try putting Paddy and Leah first."

You groaned, but relented.

"Fine."

An hour later, neither of you were any closer to finalising anything. You'd already got a folder full of notes, images and ideas, none of which he liked.

Too girly.

Too tacky.

Too cheap.

"Any bright ideas in that head of yours?!" You cried, launching the folder across the room in frustration.

"Yeah, you need a beer," he smiled, heading over to the fridge where he'd stacked them when he came in.

"It's barely 3 in the afternoon Cillian, are you for real?"

"Yep. You need a beer to loosen up and I need a beer to cope with you until then. Seems like a great idea to me."

"Fucks sake..." You took the bottle of beer from him and sat it on the table after taking a swig of it. The cold liquid did ease some of the tension. Not that you'd admit that to him, of course.

"So what exactly are we going to do for this Sten Do?" You asked, flopping back on the sofa.

"I don't know. No idea. But we have six weeks to put it together."

"Six weeks. Yay," you sighed, finishing your beer. A lightweight at heart, and nothing to eat since breakfast, the buzz of it was already running through your veins. He was on his second already, and you'd think he was drinking water. Not even a slight blush to his cheeks.

Offering you a second bottle, you shook your head.

"Feel a bit more relaxed now?" He asked.

"Maybe."

"It's one night. One party. We're not planning a royal wedding y/n. This is Padraig and Leah - neither of them are bothered about frills and fancy things. As long as all the family are there and there's music and dancing, that's all they will want."

"I think I know what my sister wants in a hen do, Cillian."

"And I know what Padraig wants - nice and simple. As long as there's a bar - he won't care."

"Leah wants the works for this. She's given me a list, none of it is simple."

You handed him the list - and Cillian's jaw dropped.

"I guess I'd better get my credit card out, this shit is gonna cost more than the fucking wedding..."

Another hour passed, Cillian on your laptop looking for chocolate fountain vendors. You on your phone looking at Greek caterers - your mother was Greek, and Leah wanted a Greek theme to match the wedding. Plus your grandparents would be coming over from Athens.

"Why are there no Greek caterers in Cork?!" You complained, getting worked up over the severe lack of anything Mediterranean in the south of Ireland.

"Because it's Cork. If it isn't Irish Stew or colcannon you've got no chance. You need to calm down, you'll never find anything in that state."

"For fucks sake, Cillian, will you just let me rant without giving me a fucking lecture?" He gave you a sideways glance before chuckling to himself and making a comment under his breath... So quiet you barely heard it.

"Someone needs to get some."

"The fuck did you just say?" You asked, not sure you heard him right.

"Hmm?"

"What. Did. You. Just. Say?"

"What? Well you clearly do. Uptight and fidgety."

"And getting laid will solve that, will it?"

"Usually works."

"I'm fine on that front, thanks." Why were you blushing? Stop blushing, idiot.

"They're clearly not doing it well enough. Or often enough."

"Coming from experience, Mr Hotshot?"

"I'm just a big believer in if you're gonna do something, do it properly," he shrugged, knocking back the last sips of his fourth bottle of Heineken. You were on your third.

Your eyes met, and lingered there for longer than they probably should have.

You looked away first, clearing your throat and going back to your phone to continue the search. Your mind was racing. Why was talking to Cillian about sex making your cheeks burn? Could he tell?

Fucking stop it, he's a knob. A complete tool. An idiot. A self righteous, egotistical prat, who's probably fucked half of Hollywood. All actors were the same, if it has a pulse, it gets tapped.

You won't tap me, Murphy. I know your game and I'm not playing.

[headinthestaticsky]

Extras for The Dusk Calls for me.

Authors Note: While I plan out the next few chapters of my story, enjoy these memories I did for the re-write I did on Wattpad.

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions and a attempt of SA

Time: This Takes place a year before the beginning of The Dusk Calls for me.

"Makes me feel like flying

Top-down backstreet driving Dusty road all alone

Tip my hat Puff of smoke, smoke

Makes me feel like flying

I just run ."

American Gurl by: Kilo Kish

I was finally out, those words of bile my mother and sister spew toward me finally pushed me over the edge. Yet those words finally got me back with my father in Forks, where I always belonged.

Flashback: One Week Ago.

"FLEUR! GET DOWN HERE NOW!" My erratic mother Renee yelled from downstairs.

My heart started beating out of my chest, what did I do this time? I walked into the dining room, Renee and Isabella were sitting at the table across from where I was sitting. Bella had a smirk on her face relishing in the tension between Renee and I.

"Yes?" I asked.

"You always have to cause trouble don't you?' She replied back, malice laced her voice.

"What? What are you even talking about?"

"Bella told me you've been saving money to go see your father in Forks." She spat at me.

My rapidly beating heart sunk down into my stomach, I had been trying to see my dad in Forks for a year now. My mother refused to get me a plane ticket herself, she always told me I reminded her too much of my father and that I didn't need to be around him anymore than I already was which wasn't often.

"Mother, it's my money I can do with it as I please," I said calmly though I could feel the rage beginning to boil in my blood.

"YOU AREN'T GOING!" She yelled demandingly.

I couldn't control myself, it was as if someone else had entered my body.

"WHAT IN THE HELL IS SO WRONG FOR WANTING TO SEE MY FATHER!?"

"I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE THAT KIND OF MONEY ON YOU!"

"Well you aren't now aren't you? It's my own money and I will use it however the hell I want to!"

"Oh don't you..." Renee started.

"Are you going to tell me you would be doing the same thing if Bella was the one wanting to go see dad?"

"She isn't a trouble maker." She snapped back.

"How am I a trouble maker? For wanting my mother to be kind and considerate? For wanting my mother to treat me with respect? To get an ounce of love from the frozen, undead heart inside your chest?" I asked, my face heated up it felt like it was burning.

"If you can't stand to be around us so much why don't you just move down there to Forks?"

"I will, just give me the rest of the money for the plane ticket and I swear to god the second I walk out that door I will NEVER come back!"

"Fine..." I turned away from her before she could say anything else. Before I reached the stairs I turned around again, looking directly at Bella.

"Get away from her while you can Isabella, or you're going to end up being just as toxic as she is." I then left before they could say anything else.

Flashback over: 2 years before the Original story begins.

I looked to the side, staring out the window. The desert plains had disappeared while I slept and now the lush green forests overtook the view. The fog wasn't heavy but the skies were covered with dark grey clouds and a downpour of rain. The cold weather was a lot more favorable in my opinion, the sun couldn't burn my skin much here. The plane had begun to shake signaling that the plane was beginning to land. I couldn't wait to see my father again, I hadn't seen him since my 12th birthday. When I got off the plane I stretched, being cramped in a small plane for an almost 3-hour flight wasn't exactly the most comfortable.

I walked through the crowded airport, scanning the area for my father. I bumped into some disgruntled couples and quickly left before I was caught in the crossfires of their mood.

"Petal?" I heard from behind me. I turned around quickly recognizing that voice, it could calm me down before I got into trouble.

"Dad..." I said fondly before running up to hug him.

My heartfelt I little more full, and the pain my mother inflicted on me was healed for the time being. We walked out together, each of us was carrying a bag. The wind was strong today and my hair was flying all of the places. Its cooling touch raised goosebumps on my skin, mom didn't buy any warmer clothes for me so I was stuck in the typical Arizona tank tops and shorts. Luckily for me, the car was already warmed up so I dethawed quickly. We drove for a few minutes in silence, the roar of the engine and other passing cars were the only sounds filling the space.

"So, how have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you in a while." Dad said.

"I've been better, you know how mom is," I mumbled.

"I don't know what happened to her, she wasn't like that in high school. If she was I wouldn't have even wasted a second on her."

"I know you would've dad...she's cruel for sure. She's just good at hiding it from people she wants to impress."

"Yeah, she is."

The drive was a giant wave of nostalgia, being 16 now and seeing all of the familiar sites and views brought back fond memories. The old ice cream shop dad use to take me to, the reservation that Sam and Leah lived on, it all brought me back. It also fueled anger, however, as my mother constantly kept me under the brutal radiation of the sun.  Dad must've seen the look on my face and put his hand on my shoulder.

"It's going to be okay Petal, you're away from her now." He comforted.

"It's not just her dad... Bella's acting like her too."

"That's a shame... it really is."

"Yeah... it is." I sighed.

"I just can't wait to get back home, the attic is calling for me."

Dad chuckled before speaking again.

"You know... I heard you just got your license... So I got you an older car."

"You did not have to do that dad."

"It doesn't get in until next week, so I'll have to drive you to school until then," Dad said as if that would balance out the fact he got me a car.

"That's fine dad. What is it?"

"It's an old Mustang, a Fastback."

"Thank you, dad..."

"No problem Petal.

When we pulled into the driveway of our small but beautiful home the nostalgia fully set in. The colors were exactly the same, and the grass was just as muddy and dead as before.

"Well I cleared off some shelves for you in the bathroom, your room was a bit dusty so I just cleaned it for you," Dad explained as he helped me take my luggage upstairs.

"Sounds good, thank you again, dad, I love you."

"Love you too Petal." He kissed my head before closing the door behind me. The room was bare, I would have to fix it later on. I collapsed on my bed, facing the ceiling.

"I'm home."

September 17th, 2004.

"Dad I have to go, I don't want to be late on my first day!" I exclaimed throwing on a leather jacket.

"Petal I am almost ready, I never knew you were so much of a bookworm." He joked, ruffling my hair.

"Dad I am an entire school year ahead of where I should be... I take my education very seriously." I said, trying to hide the growing smirk on my face.

"Alright alright let's go," Dad said, taking my arm and pulling me out the door.

We were only driving for a little bit when I decided to roll the window down, I placed my arms on where the window used to be and rested my head on them. My hair blew out of my face and the cool mist of Forks hit me. When we arrived at the school dad was scanning the parking lot looking for a place to park when he passed right by a group of people. They were all gorgeous, their faces seemingly perfectly sculpted, and they all had the same colored eyes, golden. My eyes locked with one however, they were filled with pain for a second before melting into shock. something strange filled my chest and my heart began to race. As we drove past them I gave him a smile, hoping to ease his shock.

Timeskip: September 30th, 2004

Something was up, the boy I saw outside that window, Jasper Hale was more than what he seemed. He was freezing cold all the time, and I swore I saw his eyes turn black for a split second when he saw a boy from another make a gesture toward me. It was strange really, we had been friends for a few weeks but he seemingly had a protective...energy over me. But at the same time, I still felt something... I couldn't explain it. It was as if we were connected to each other in some way. My dad had to take my car to the shop and he couldn't pick me up today so I decided to take a trip to the library, hoping to find some new material to read.

I didn't realize how long I had been in the library until I looked out of the small windows of the building. The sky was darkened and daylight was running out, I checked out a few books and left not wanting to be stuck walking in the night. I was a few blocks home when I heard 3 men talking behind me.

"Oh looks at this one..."

"She seems perfect for us."

"Come here girly... we just want to talk."

My heart raced and my pace quickened, speed walking home. I tried taking weird turns and cuts but they wouldn't fall for the bait. I decided to run for it hoping my legs would be quick enough to evade them all. I was then pushed against the wall 2 minutes into my escape again, the smell of alcohol made me want to retch.

"You aren't very good at listening to orders." One murmured, his face was inches away from me, he breathed in my scent and began to chuckle.

"Don't be too hard on her... I like ones that fight." Another said

"Make this easy on yourself girl..."

One reached down to take off my clothes when he was suddenly thrown back a few feet into the air. I just stood against the wall shocked, I saw Jasper standing over the man before making his way over to the other two men. They both took off leaving their "friend" behind but Jasper zoomed toward them. His speed was inhuman and his strength was unprecedented yet I couldn't stop myself from moving from my spot. The other two men were flown into the air and scream on impact. Jasper grabbed them both by the throats.

"If you EVER try to touch her or any woman for that matter like that again... I. will. kill. you!" He growled before releasing them down on the ground. They gasped and ran again, babbling in terror toward one another.

Jasper walked toward me with a guilty look on his face, his hand reached out for mine and I took it without even thinking.

"Come with me Darlin' I have a lot to explain to you." He said softly, his mood had completely changed with me.

We walked for a few moments in silence, I side-eyed him for any shift in behavior, when it didn't I decided to interrogate him.

"How did you do that?" My voice trembled.

He sighed before replying.

"I'm a vampire." He said blatantly.

I looked at him and laughed thinking it was a joke... when he didn't join I stopped and looked at him with shock.

"You're serious?" I said, my eyes widening again.

"Yes I am, I've been 17 for...141 years. I got changed during the Civil War."

"Damn... you're old... wait were you in the Civil War?"

"Yes, I was drafted to the Confederate Army when I was 17..."

"Yikes..."

"You're telling me, I ran away the first chance I got... I wasn't going to fight in some war that was fueled by warped and disgusting ideas just because I was forced to. I never thought the way they did... I never understood why someone could think so low of a human being just because of his skin."

"That's very brave of you."

"I had just made it to Galveston when I decided to take a break... I ended up on a beach... that's when I ran into an immortal named Maria. She was creating an army and decided that I would be a good fit for it."

"She changed you against your will?"

"I didn't even know what she was doing until I felt searing pains from my arms all the way up to my neck." He explained rolling up his sleeves and showing me his scars."

I traced the teeth marks on his forearm before looking up at him again.

"I'm sorry that happened to you..."

He looked up at me in shock.

"You... you feel sympathy for something like me? I'm a monster..." He said sincerely.

"It wasn't even your choice as to what you became... and I don't think a monster would've saved me back there. Face it, Jasper, you're a big softie who's had bad experiences in his long... long life."

He chuckled before glancing at me, we made it back to the house, dad still wasn't home yet. We walked into the backyard, sitting in patio chairs and looking up at the stars.

"There's something else I have to tell you." Jasper admitted in the darkness.

I looked at him in confusion, what else did he have to tell me? He's a werewolf too?

"You're..." He hesitated. "You're my mate." He said quickly.

"What? How... vampires have mates?" I asked in shock.

"Yes we do, and we instantly know when we've met them. Didn't you feel it, when you looked out that window at me? It was enamour... love, something I have never experienced before."

"I haven't either... but I have to admit I felt something too. I just didn't know what it was, I felt connected to you somehow though. But... I'm 16... falling deeply in love isn't exactly something I planned."

"I understand completely. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. I understand I am a vampire... this is a lot to take in." Jasper said lowering his head in shame, his curls covered his eyes.

I sat up and turned to him.

"Hey, hey it's not just because you're a vampire honest! I just need to think things through... we can still talk in and out of school I won't push you out." I said a bit faced-paced. I didn't want to hurt his feelings he did just save me after all.

He looked and me and grabbed my hand.

"Take all the time you need Fleur, I will accept your answer no matter what is it." He said sincerely.

"Thank you... Jasper."

"It's not any trouble." His face lit up all of the sudden, car headlights entered my line of view. I felt my hand by dropped by his cold one and a whoosh of wind flew my hair forward. I turned back around and he was gone.

Timeskip: October 16th, 2004.

It was hard, weighing the pros and cons of being with Jasper.

Pros: We were soulmates... destined to be with each other, He knew my limits and respected my boundaries, he gave me a choice, not forcing me into something I might not want to do, and he was a kind and gentle soul. We understood each other, our hearts and souls were connected and I would never find someone else I would be so close to.

Cons: He was a creature who thirsted for blood... a thirst he didn't always have the best control over, Being in a serious relationship at such a young age was a huge commitment I didn't even fully know who I was... would I ever be able to find out who I am being so committed to someone If I did become involved in a relationship two things would happen... I would die and leave him lonely for eternity, or I would be turned into a vampire... leaving my family behind.

My mulling over of the pros and cons was interrupted, a girl had cleared her throat. I looked up realizing I was still in the school library, standing in the back of the constant isles of books. I turned to the voice and my eyes were shocked to see Rosalie Hale looking at me.

"Rosalie? Is there something you need?" I asked.

"Let's go for a walk, I need to talk to you in private." She said she seemed tense about something.

I checked out the books I got before following her to the outside, we walked near the edge of the woods. The dead leaves and grass crunched underneath our feet.

"I know Jasper told you about us... and he told me that you wanted to think somethings over with him." She started.

"Hey... I just wanted to let you know I would never tell anyone about you guys... And I'm not trying to hurt Jasper with me thinking our relationship over. It's just a lot of process." By the time I finished that statement she laughed and patted my shoulder.

"Don't worry Fleur I completely understand why you want to think over some things... I would too if I were in your shoes. Besides, I trust you... I get a good vibe off of you." Rosalie replied smiling at me.

"I want to get into a relationship with Jasper I do but... I don't want to leave my father... he's all I got right now and I'm all he's got."

"Hey, I promise no one would force you into becoming a vampire in our family... I especially wouldn't force you to."

"Really?"

"Yes of course... It's nice to meet someone with a respect for mortality."

"It's just... I always to do certain things... like going to that art school in Cayon City Oregon... the Art Museums down there are amazing... and I always wanted to kid when I was older... a little boy." I explained smiling fondly at the thought.

"I did too... I always wanted a son."

"But at the same time... I wouldn't want to spend all my time with Jasper... only to leave him alone for eternity you know?" I asked her hoping she would get my point of view.

"Of course... I can tell you've been conflicted these past few weeks about it. But I wanted to vouch for Jasper... he's willing to do anything for you, and his thirst for blood has never been more controlled than when he's been with you. He won't take you away from your family either... he would never want to hurt you in any way possible." She explains turning toward me to look me in the eyes so the message could really sink in.

"Thanks, Rosalie..."

"Of course...give Jasper a chance, I promise it'll be worth it." She said.

"I will... I'll talk to him tonight, thanks for the guidance."

"No problem."

Timeskip: October 16th, 2004: 10:12 PM

Dad was gone, he had to work late down at the station tonight. My palms and legs shook nervous to tell Jasper my decision. I was sitting in the same spot I was in when Jasper told me I was his soulmate... the cool air calmed my nerves slightly before I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Fleur? You said you wanted to talk to me... are you okay?" Jasper's voice asked worryingly behind my closed lids.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I just wanted to give you an answer about... everything."

He sat down adjacent to me and nodded, wanting me to continue.

"I will get into a relationship with you... thank you for giving me the time to think about things."

He smiled before asking me if he could kiss my cheek. I said yes of course and it seemed my body melted in bliss and content. All the past weeks' tensions and worrying left me and it was replaced with love... and a sense of stability. We looked up at the stars and I pointed toward the largest one in the sky.

"You see that one?" I said.

"Yes, I do Darlin'."

"That is the star of the path I started with you..."

[anapologethicc]

SONU KI TITU KI SWEETY SOUNDTRACK REVIEW PLS I WANT TO READ YOU RIP IT TO SHREDS IN ALL ITS ENTIRETY AND ABSOLUTELY RUB KALEEKH ALL OVER IT GO GO GO !!!!

oh god. iss album ki toh mein itni dhajiyaan uda ne wali hoon na. just wait and watch. BUT. first of all. can we just. take a moment of silence to reel in the absolute mindfuckery and time waste this movie was. aur secondly. konse zamane ke movie thi yeh. like 21st century hai. aur yeh koi tv serial nahi hai ki bahu ko villain bana do. par yaar tv serial mein bhi kaali bindi wali chachi ya masi nikalti hai real villain. this movie was another level of misogynistic. like luv ranjan needs to CHOKE and DIE asap for the kind of movies he makes. but idk what he wanted to show through this movie. friendship?? like really. that's the way you wanna go? by making the girl the villain...DISGRACE. ok let's get into it. under the cut. because i'm raging.

1. Dil Chori

kya bolu main. ok so i'll be honest. when i first heard it. i was skeptical because of the 'yoyohoneysingh'. and then i heard it and i thought it could be a good wedding dance song either way. regardless of the AUTOTUNE OVERLOAD. pls sb tell whoever sang this shit to give up on a singing career. like saman bando aur niklo please. and then you know what i heard. THE RAP. and then i wanted to throw my phone away. like matlab. song mein kuch nahi hai. wohi gisa pita kachra hai. and you know what's the worst part about this song. is it encourages you to get drunk and then hit on girls. like babe. you're drunk and fucking delusional if you think a girl is coming next to you just cause you tell her she has silky silky baal and a nice chaal. bhenchod woh ek thapaad lagaeyi and will throw her drink in your face. can somebody write a song on that please? also that chittar kayega line. nahi you wait. main aa rahi hoon chittar marne to whoever the fuck sanctioned this song and it's release. t-series is on top of my bollywood hit list.

2. Chhote Chhote Peg

first of all. neha kakkar. pehle koi usko hathao. i will start the petition. personally go door to door until she is permenantly BANNED from singing ever again. kabhi tel mein kuch fry hote ve dekha hai? you know that sizzle wali awaaz. it's like that. but your kaan are the pakoras being fried. and isko batao koi ki whiskey tastes horrific. nobody likes whiskey babygirl. and men only pretend to kyuki masculinity prove karni hai apni. and i know this FOR A FACT because i've drank it. whiskey is disgusting pls. get yourself sth fruity please. also MY MEANING of nashe mein ho jati mein risky means come near me when i'm drunk and i will shoot you between the eyes. until hers which is basically saying that girls become slutty and promiscuous when they drink. girlie. i don't need a drink to be slutty. it's a forever state of mind please. and then please ohmygod the entire fucking RAP again. it's basically judging women for drinking, telling them they should stay home if they can't hold their alcohol and the rest of it is objectifying girls and more of i'm gonna hit on you when you're drunk. just. to whoever wrote this. sweetie i's glad you don't know me personally. i will castrate you. free of charge.

3. Subah Subah

Sooraj Dooba Hai 2.0 ft. Jonas Blue (this one MAYBE i can vibe with if i was at a party or sth. it's brainless and i'll give it brownie points for arijit's voice)

4. Bom Diggy Diggy

thoda bum ke bare mein kam sochke apne brains mein thoda aur diggy diggy kiya hota toh shayad dhangki lyrics likhni aa jaati. this was one of those so-called punjabi song remakes. pehle toh remake karne layak nahi tha yeh gaana. first time kachra dekha aur inko laga "omg let's do our part to save the world" aur recycle kar dala. swach bharat abhiyaan unko sirf studio mein dhyaan aata hai apparently.

5. Kaun Nachdi

once again. i will strangle you with all this sikly sikly baal i have. phir jab jaan niklegi na toh rona mat. what's with so much silky baal yaar. shampoo ads se inpire hoye the kya?? agar shampoo ads mein passion hai toh woh karno na beta. yahan hamara time kyu waste kar rahe ho? second of all. any song that has the word swag in it can go die in the same hole as justin bieber. also even at the end they still haven't found out kudi kaun nachdi. lemme give you the answer. YOUR MOM. kyuki respect deni toh tab hi aati hai na tum logo ko jab khud ki maa behen ka involvement hota hai. i'm so done with these songs about objectifying women. like. i'm abt to riot.

6. Lakk Mera Hit

honestly. hadn't even heard of it. until i saw it was on the album. and not gonna waste my time to listen to it. it's prolly shit.

7. Sweety Slowly Slowy

i've got 2 words : Mika Singh. but i will let the general public know what this disgusting song is about. it's portraying the female character as a car. and then proceeds to talk about how she should be able to go fast in a tedhi-medhi lane. and how she shouldn't slow down. and how she shouldn't have a break. how the world will tease her. and not to run away. give me attention. don't reject me. or else. basically if she does not do said things. it basically says she will get slapped. let's all just agree to the heinous crime that the existence of this atrocious song is. i can't even with mika singh. like. this song. what the fuck man. like what the actual fuck.

8. Tera Yaar Hoon Main.

i saved this for last. because i kinda love it. but also it fills me with so much sadness at the same time. ALSO ARIJIT. so imma do a whole analysis because i wanna cry. and it's in a separate ask in your inbox. because it does not deserve to be in the same vicinity as these other pieces of shit. when you post it. i'll link it here. <3 i hope i was entertaining enough babe.

[irandomblogfulb]

FATE: What happens when you get a bunch of middle aged white guys to adapt a cartoon for girls

Well, I just went through 6 hours of fate and I have a lot of opinions on it. Yeah, this is going to be long (slightly under 3k words) so putting it under read more and obvious spoilers.

PSA before delving right in:

1) Yes, I will be comparing to the original. Any comparisons are not through rose-tinted nostalgia glasses. There are parts here and there that I genuinely think were done better in the cartoon on a writing standpoint.

2) This is purely my opinion and overall negative. Don't like it? Don't read. I'm all up for discussion but I don't want another person crying to me about how I “ruined” their experience of the show.

3) If you like Fate then good for you. This isn’t me bashing people who like it. 

I've spit it up into sub sections just for my own convince.

1. The problem with the 'I'm not like other girls' trope

This pertains to the entire Bloom-Sky-Stella love triangle. I wasn't as pressed about it compared to other winxers (and I loved Stella's and Brandon's relationship on my rewatch). In fact, I was okay with it. But then I sat down and watched the show and there's a lot of underlying problems with the love triangle. Particularly pitting Bloom and Stella against each other for Sky's affection.

Now this part of the love triangle I already didn't like. Correct me if I'm wrong, since I dropped the OG Winx after season 5 but the Winx while they did have their conflicts and arguments, never fought over a boy. I really appreciated that from the cartoon so seeing that live action would fall into that trap – I was mildly annoyed at that. Then it hit me. It's Bloom and Stella.

The seemingly ordinary girl vs the pristine princess of Solaria. If the title didn't give it away, you should get the point by now. Others have already called it by now but the "I'm not like other girl's" trope in itself, while seemingly feminist is actually misogynist. Saying the more masculine type of girl is better than the feminine is inherently misogynist. Stella, the prime princess, girly and feminine, is villainized by the love triangle. Sky's and Stella's relationship is toxic and Stella's overt co-dependence and jealousy are already big fat red signs - but Sky's and Bloom's relationship is built on how she's "different". Bloom isn't like Stella, she's "real".

2. Am I supposed to like Riven?

As the title puts it, wtf am I supposed to feel about Riven. Is he supposed to be a good guy? Do I root for him? Is he morally ambiguous? Because holy shit compared to OG!Riven, this guy is diabolical and much much worse! OG!Riven is an asshole and he teams up with the trix but his arc was very simple and easy to understand. He joins the bad guys, distances himself from the good guys, the trix betray his ass, he self-reflects in the dungeon - escapes and redeems himself. Net!Riven is so bad to the point where you can't redeem him and the writers don't even try. Freddie Thorp is good in his role. (however, he definitely doesn't pass for a 17-year-old. He's 26 and it shows) and he actually makes the cringe dialogue work. But he's way too diabolical and downright predatory. The scene where he forces Dane to gulp down his spiked drink - it’s worse seeing it than reading it. That grossed me out more than the gore.

What makes it worse, nobody properly calls him out. Beatrix kinda does on his homophobia – “Homophobic bashing by GIF” - and Sky does chastise him, but they still tolerate him. It is kinda funny in a way Sky has a whole ass arc about how he's enabling Stella's problematic behaviour by still dating her after she blinded her friend but doesn't realize he's doing the same for Riven.

The only person that really puts her foot down with Riven is Terra and nobody takes her seriously about anything she says.

Everyone is very laissez-faire around him and that's not how you respond to your friend being problematic. (Hey, kinda like the other girls sans Aisha are with Bloom!) Everyone surrounding Riven is so disgusting and the notion of him supposedly being a good guy is very hard to buy into. His whole relationship with Dane has a section of it’s own because there’s just a lot to unpack.

3. Stella I am so sorry

I'm also in the majority hating how they've tarnished Stella. Basically, they turned her into the stereotypical rich bully with mommy issues.

I get that Stella has an abusive mom but that’s no excuse to be a total bitch to her roommates. And no, her roommates shouldn't accept her back with open arms. And she doesn't even redeem herself - the girls just accept her back after her mom pulls her from Alfea.

And this is also another issue with the writing were the characters suddenly just change their opinions on a whim. Suddenly Stella likes the winx, suddenly Terra misses Stella even though having that girl literally gives her anxiety. Suddenly Aisha's on Bloom's side in the end.

This isn't me simping for the cartoon out of nostalgia. I was mostly okay with the idea of Stella and Sky hooking up. But Looking at it from a creative standpoint - looking at the source material, and the many paths you can take this character, the best thing Brian Young and co. can think of for her was turning her into the stereotypical rich bully that we've seen time and time again? No deconstruction no meta take, it's played out exactly how you’d expect it.

Again, this isn't me simping for the show. Purely from a creative standpoint Stella was such a major let down. There's so much to the character and Brian Young took the easiest, saturated path.

4. That one scene with Bloom's parents

You know the one. Mike unhinges Bloom's bedroom doors and Vanessa cusses out and insults her child like a petty teen bully. Forgetting how utterly cringey that scene was, you can't have her mom go batshit insane on her child, then act like she's this loving parent that cares so deeply about her daughter. Screw that! Vanessa deserved those 3rd degree burns! She invaded her daughter's privacy. Bloom didn't even do anything wrong!

I can't buy into this narrative of Vanessa and Mike being loving parents when they do something like that. Seriously who thought that was okay?

5. Pity Parties for everyone.

I already discussed this in Stella’s section but I don’t like the “it’s okay for me be a shitty person because my life sucks :)” narrative Fate tries to pull. They did it with Stella, Bloom, Riven.

What I liked about the first season of Winx Club is Bloom’s arc and her character as a whole. Because while she went through shit, from the Trix, to finding out she was adopted, her existential crisis, not feeling like she belonged, losing the dragon flame, she went through a lot. She didn’t throw a pity party. She didn’t whine, bitch and complain. She allowed herself to feel upset, took it as it is and tried to make lemonade out of lemons. And I respect that.

Net!Bloom is agrevating. She does some dumb, reckless stuff but it’s excused because she’s the protagonist? She let the war criminal out, the school gets taken over by the bad guys because of Bloom. Faragonda fucking dies because she let the war criminal out! The burned ones attacked the school because she let the war criminal out!!! But no, Aisha’s villainized for calling Bloom out because Bloom’s existential crisis is more important then anything else.

Getting to Sky, he isn’t as bad as the others. He doesn’t become a shitty person because of his problems. (Though lowkey flirting with Bloom while he hooks up with Stella is uh not good.) But he does come across incredibly whiny. Because of the cringey dialogue and the unnecessary swearing  I can’t take his speech on opening up to Bloom seriously. I laughed throughout the whole thing and Bloom leaving his unconscious body there was the icing on the cake.

One of the few characters that deserved a pity party is Terra. She’s very much like OG!Bloom in a way. She is bullied by Dane and Riven, has body insecurities, anxiety, nobody listens to her and at most only tolerates her. Despite all the crap that is thrown her way she still reminds humble, kind, and respectful. And she is one of the few characters that deserves more support than what she got out of the season.

5. Bloom, Aisha, Tokenism and their awful relationship

I’m going to be upfront, their relationship sucks. The core of their dynamic is what Aisha can do for Bloom. It’s very one-sided. Bloom only goes to Aisha to help solve her problems, which Aisha gladly does – but when Aisha disagrees with Bloom or says something Bloom doesn’t like, Bloom suddenly goes off and Aisha’s made to be the bad guy. Even though she’s right? And Aisha has her own problems as well, shown to also struggle with her powers. But nope, that’s pushed to the back burner because Bloom needs help.

I am all for creative freedom. I can stomach Stella x actual Sky. I can stomach turning Stella into a rich mean girl. I can stomach the dark academia aesthetic but what Brian Young and co. did to Aisha is just plain racist. Screw the “it’s an adaptation” excuse. Turning this character who had a rich storyline and was a princess into a white girl’s magical negro who fixes all her problems is racist and by definition tokenism. And by whitewashing the other two characters of color, making Aisha the only poc in the group – that’s the worst thing you can do to her.

And frankly we need more black princesses on screen.

6. Dane and the homophobia of the show

Towards the show’s climax it’s revealed Dane is helping Beatrix because she accepts he’s “different”. Not only does this go back to my pity party rant but like bruh,

1)      Beatrix never really did anything for Dane? She hung out and smoked with him a bit, but that’s all. You’re telling me Terra wouldn’t accept Dane? Beatrix never helped him and he never really opened up to her about his struggles.

2)      Nobody else, not even background characters bully or harass Dane for being “different”. It’s only Riven, the guy he’s crushing on. The whole falling in love with the bad boy/abuser trope is bad in a hetero relationship and that still stands for a gay one. And I know damn well if Dane was a woman half of the shit Riven did to Dane wouldn’t slide.

It makes no sense for Dane to side with the bad guys when Riven’s the one bullying him and Beatrix is complacent in the bullying. Oh, and having your second black* character who’s also lgbt+/potentially questioning be a villain? Not good.

I’m all for gay and poly rep, but not like this. If Stella and Sky’s toxic relationship is going to be called out for what it is, why not Dane’s?

*Idk if Theo Graham is light-skinned black or biracial so I’ll just refer to him as black.

7. The plot

It’s very predictable. Personally, wasn’t fond of the ‘twist of a twist of a twist’ style of writing. The story tries to be nuanced and deep but it’s not. Common sense is treated like a big revelation. Not trusting the war criminal you barely know isn’t as big of a take that the writers try to make it out to be.

8.  Everything else

·       Beatrix is fine. No Icy but did like the gothic bookworm aesthetic.

·       Sam is just there to be Musa’s love interest and provide some dumb drama between Musa and Terra. I thought they’d go the Edward/Bella root – Musa’s drawn to Sam because she can’t sense his emotions for some reason. Nope, they just get together for the obligatory make out sessions. Don’t care much for the relationship or the character.

·       Since the powers are all elemental shouldn’t there be classes purely for an elemental? Classes purely for fire fairies, etc?

·       Musa’s powers are confusing. If she has no control over them and they are “always on”, shouldn’t her eyes constantly be glowing purple?  Very wishy washy. Sometimes they overwhelm her and other times she has complete control. Her character is just there for plot stuff.

·       Terra is one of the better characters but can’t enjoy her knowing about the whitewashing. Why can’t we have a plus sized character just exist and not have body issues?

·       Sky doesn’t feel like a prince. Characters treat him like his dad is a war hero and not the King of Eraklyon. There was a point where I thought I misheard and thought his dad was just a war hero and not a king.

·       Why try to justify Rosalind’s war crime if she’s going to be the big bad anyways?

·       The way the characters treat death/act around death is very weird. Musa and Terra see a pile of dead bodies and they’re unreasonable calm. Especially Bloom an “ordinary teenage girl from earth”, reacts very nonchalant when death and war crimes are brought up. Doesn’t help the show tries to push this “they’re kids fighting a war” narrative.

·       Can’t buy into the girls’ friendship. The Aisha/Bloom dynamic is centred on what Aisha can do for Bloom. Bloom only cares about herself and only goes to her friends to help with her problems. Most of Musa’s and Terra’s interaction centre around Sam. Stella didn’t care for the girls until her mom showed up and pulled a 180. The girls were quick to turn on Aisha when she sided with the adults.

·       I have no problem with technology existing but why do they have Instagram, Tiktok and Tumblr? The otherworld is a completely separated from Earth, why do they have the same technology?  

9. Brian Young, what do you mean by mature?

I grew up on the 4kids dub before transitioning to the Nick dub for season 4 and 5 then dropping the cartoon for good. So naturally on my rewatch of the cartoon I decided to go watch the RAI dub since I heard it’s more accurate and 4Kids are infamous for their horrid localisations straying too much to the source material. Upon finishing season 1 and currently watching season 2, a few things took me by surprise. For one, the cartoon is surprisingly dark. The schools are at war with the Trix and their army of Darkness, Sky almost dies in Season 2, Riven almost dies and the Trix thinks he suicided, it’s heavily implied in Season 2 Darkar murdered some of the pixies, the paedophilic undertones of Bloom and Avalon’s relationship, the list goes on.

When the interview with Brian Young came out, he said Fate would be a mature take on the cartoon. And I wondered, what did he meant by mature? Was he going to delve deeper into the darker aspects of the show, or did he mean he was going to have the girls swear and have sex? Watching Fate, I found my answer.

If you take out the gore, swearing, drug and alcohol usage from the live action, the maturity is on par with the RAI dub. The difference is in the presentation. This is what sucks about the mentality surrounding live action remakes. Because the OG!Winx was colourful with glittery transformations , was super girly and overall had a positive upbeat tone (not forgetting 2D animated) - it can’t be taken seriously. You have to strip all that, the colour, the kindness, the femininity in order to be deemed mature.

10. Wrapping up

I went into Fate expecting the worst and honestly, it wasn’t that bad. There were things I liked about it. The show looks pretty, and I did like what they were trying to do with Sky’s arc. The actors did what they could with the material. Freddie Thorp made the cringe dialogue work and Abigail Cowen proves she can carry a show as the lead.

Fate is your generic, YA, dark academia show. It follows all the tropes of the YA genre to a T. If that’s your niche, then you’ll love Fate and I’m not bashing anyone who liked it.

For me, as a creative, it doesn’t capitalise on the strengths of the source material. I’m not asking for Winx Club again, as I’ve reiterated, I’m all for creative freedom. But Brian Young, Iginio Straffi, whoever worked on this – they could’ve created something new, innovative, something that stood out from the hordes of other YA shows. They had good material in their hands! But what I got -  I’ve seen before, and I’ve seen it done better. That’s a major disappointment.

As a winx club fan, don’t bother watching this. It’s a very diluted version of the Winx. In trying to capture the interest of the adult fans who grew up with the franchise – Iginio showed how out of touch he is if he thinks this is what they wanted.

[dex-xe]

ahhhhh I'm LOVING these little fics, they're wonderful!! if you're still taking requests and are up for it, maybe "you're just a softie" with fanny and mary? :o

Mary & Kitty Fluff #10: “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

Fanny & Mary Fluff #37: “You’re just a softie.”

(I’m not thrilled with how this one turnedout but I think it’s soft and cute anyway. I have no idea what a girly sleepover consists of,, I have never been to one so someone please enlighten me XD This was posted on ao3 first btw,, as are all my fics - usually about 2/3 days before they’re up on here)

Prompt list

Inbox

After months of begging, Kitty’s fabled 8th of March arrived. Alison had actually decided to bring the date forward by a considerable few moths, feeling guilty about denying Kitty what she had been unable to do for over 200 years: her beloved sleepover.

Alison gathered as many spare pillows and blankets as she could find around the house and piled them onto Kitty’s bedroom floor. She’d had Mike attach fairy lights across the ceiling, creating a low canopy of glowing lights across the room.

Before inviting Kitty, Mary, and even Fanny into the room for her planned girly evening, Alison had had to sit the rambunctious boys down (of which she included Mike) and tell them under no circumstances to enter Kitty’s room. Robin had tried multiple times to join in, Pat had insisted that the next sleepover be for everyone, Julian had even called discrimination - a concept he was familiar with but it was new and novel to be on the receiving end. But after placing ‘keep out or else no TV’ signs on the door, Alison felt confident they wouldn’t interrupt.

“Oh, this is so exciting!” Kitty exclaimed, throwing herself down on the bed beside Mary, smiling brightly at Alison. “I’ve never been to a proper sleepover before! Have you, Alison?”

“When I was at school, sure,” Alison plonked herself down on the floor, wrapping a duvet around her to keep her warm under her pyjamas. “Never one with a bunch of dead people though, at least not to my knowledge.”

“What precisely do these nights consist of, Alison?” Fanny asked, perching on the chair beside Kitty’s desk.

“Well, you eat way too many snacks, which I guess isn’t possible. And give makeovers, again not exactly doable. But we can play games and talk about boys, right Kitty?”

“Yes please!” Kitty squealed. “We can give makeovers!”

“We can?” Alison questioned.

“Can I do your hair, Mary? I’m rather good at it, my sister always asked me to do hers. She would never do mine though, it’s a shame she never quite had the time.”

“Alright,” Mary said nervously, glancing at Alison.

Kitty squeaked and reached into her breast pocket to draw out a small tin compact with a tiny fold out comb, an item she had been incredibly pleased to have followed her into the afterlife.

“Won’t it go back to normal soon?” Alison asked, pouring herself a small glass of lemonade.

“Oh I would imagine so, but I am rather good,” Kitty began to carefully brush knots out of Mary’s messy hair.

“So, a game!” Alison said, smiling to herself. “Snog, marry, avoid! The rules are: you get given three guys, literally any men but I suppose we should stick to the men of Button House, and you have to choose one to snog, one to marry, and one to avoid - as in you never get to see them again.”

“What be a snog?” Mary asked, flinching away as Kitty hit a knot in her scraggly hair.

“Stop moving and let me braid your hair!” Kitty gently pulled her back.

“A snog is like a really passionate kiss,” Alison chuckled, watching Fanny pull a face.

“This game is abhorrent!” She scoffed. “I’ll play no part in it!”

“We shan’t tell anyone what you say!” Kitty said with a high-pitched giggle. “I promise! Oh please, Lady Button, we won’t tell if you decide to kiss Julian or someone!”

“If you’re going to scoff at the games, you’ll have to leave. This is Kitty’s sleepover really, don’t spoil it!”

“No, I shan’t spoil it,” she pursed her lips and glared at Alison. “But I reserve my right to not ‘snog’, as you so horrifically put it, anyone.”

“If it will stop you complaining,” Alison said.

“Then I shall ask first, yes?” Fanny contemplated for a moment before turning to Mary perched on the edge of the grandma-duvet bed opposite her. “Mary: you must choose between Robin, and Julian. Yes, and Michael!”

Alison spluttered on her lemonade, “can we not include my husband in the game?”

“Well, you did say ‘any man’, did you not?” Fanny asked.

“I’d snog yer husband!” Mary exclaimed, drawing raucous giggles from Kitty behind her who collapsed back onto the bed, her head fazing through the pillows.

“I regret every decision that has brought me to this moment,” Alison groaned, still smirking into her glass.

“And I marry Robin, cause he be funny and make a good husband,” Mary nodded as if she was saying something incredibly wise and philosophical.

“And then avoid Julian? I can get on board with that,” Alison grinned.

“I woul’ rather he fall mysteriously from a window than marry him,” Mary smiled.

“That’s a fair decision,” Alison said.

“Reasonable choice,” Fanny agreed.

“It be you’re turn, Kitty,” Mary leant back to look Kitty in the eyes. “Pat, yeah? Humphrey, or Thomas?”

Kitty brushed through Mary’s dark hair contemplating for a minute before she came to a predictably Kitty conclusion: “this game is so cruel! I don’t want to avoid anyone, can I marry them all please?!” She cried.

“Absolutely not!” Fanny chastised.

“Good to see you’re getting into the game!” Alison said.

“Polygamy, even in game form, is always unacceptable!” Fanny said.

“I would marry Pat, he seems like a good husband,” Kitty said. The others hummed in agreement, the stories they had all heard of Pat’s life certainly gave off that picture. “And then I would do the... the kiss with Thomas!” Kitty giggled her way through her sentence, but quickly sobered up when reality hit. “Oh no! Oh gosh, then I must avoid Humphrey! No, I can’t leave Humphrey!”

“It’s not real, Kitty,” Alison decided to reassure her rather than laugh. “None of us would ever want to leave Humphrey.” Kitty nodded slowly, dropping the comb she was using to her side and beginning to twist Mary’s dark locks between her fingers. “You have to choose people for me now!”

Kitty stopped to think: “Okay! The Captain, Pat, and Thomas.”

“Modern men for you Alison,” Fanny nodded.

“I’m not sure I’m really the Captain’s type! Don’t reckon he’s ever even looked twice at me!” Alison laughed. Fanny glared at Alison, pressurising her into not going any further with that idea but both Mary and Kitty looked confused at her. “Never mind, so I would definitely marry Pat, I feel like he’d get on my tits less than the others!”

“How dare you talk of Patrick like that? Abhorrent language!” Fanny cried.

“It’s a phrase! It means get on your nerves! Christ, I’d never- I don’t even want to think about Pat- he’s my friend!” Kitty and Mary screeched with laughter as Alison’s cheeks turned more crimson by the second as she buried herself further into the duvet heap. “No more thinking about Pat, thank you! I’d snog Thomas cause I reckon it would literally make his life complete, and then leave the Captain to court... his type.”

“Now, Alison, the Captain is a good man and shouldn’t be written off. He would make a virtuous husband and deserves enjoyment he was denied in life,” Fanny objected.

“Oh I don’t doubt that,” Alison muttered, barely above a whisper with a sneaky smirk plastering her face. “But I am beginning to see how your marriage went so poorly!”

“What?!” Fanny screeched.

“Look!” Kitty said, manhandling Mary slightly roughly to turn her around to show her hair. “I think this is the best I’ve ever done! Look how wonderful this is, Alison!”

Alison jumped up off the floor to inspect Kitty’s hard work: “woah, that is pretty good! Very neat, Kitty, I wish you could do mine!”

“Oh, I wish that too, Alison!”

“Okay, final round!” Alison threw herself back down onto her duvet. “Fanny: Captain - seeing as you have such affection for him, Humphrey, or-“ Alison paused, contemplating who Fanny would hate the most. “Or Julian!” She finished triumphantly.

“Avoid, Julian!” Fanny responded without missing a beat. “And I would not participate in your ‘snog’ with anyone.”

“What, so you’d marry both Humphrey and the Captain?” Alison teased, remembering the disgust that had overrun Fanny when discussing bigamy. She took a small sip of her lemonade and watched as horror spread across Fanny’s face.

“Absolutely not!” Fanny cried.

“So, who will you marry?” Mary questioned.

“Humphrey is lovely, although it might be a little unusual to have a headless husband,” Kitty commented. “But the Captain is also very nice when he wants to be, even if he can be a tiny bit controlling. Occasionally.”

“Well, after my George I think Humphrey would make a welcome break. I am not in need of controlling, thank you!” Fanny nodded wisely. “Humphrey, I believe, was greatly unhappy in his own marriage as well. We spoke at the wedding and he gave me some... rather interesting advice. A thoroughly decent fellow, I believe.”

“You’re just a softie!” Mary commented, looking to Kitty for approval who giggled softly still fiddling with Mary’s braids which were coming untwisted as they were unsecured.

“I’m surprised you didn’t want to get with Julian?” The other three all turned to Alison, who was lying, legs-crossed on the floor smirking up at Fanny. “Well, he’s certainly got the moves to ‘get to know you’ as you said.”

Mary and Kitty collapsed into giggles, clutching at each other from their position on the bed and doubling over with laughter. Fanny’s face crumpled into disgust, before a tiny, hidden smile spread across her face.

Alison continued to tease, digging into a couple of details as what Julian might get up to, causing even more laughter including from Fanny who couldn’t quite maintain the stoic, stony expression as Alison talked.

***

“What are they saying?”

“Shut up, Julian, so I can hear!” The Captain snapped. He was leaning out of the TV room door trying to catch wind of the discussion taking place only a few doors down. Robin also had his head popping through the door, below the Captain also listening intently. They had relocated from the common room to be closer to the secret rendezvous they had been banned from.

“Aw man!” Mike cried. “Fourth loss of the night!” He threw the Xbox controller down onto the sofa beside him and rested his head back, frustrated at his poor performance.

“Bad luck, mate,” Pat said from the chair beside him. He’d taken up the role of Mike’s cheerleader, having convinced himself that he’d be a rather good gamer if he’d been able to play in life. His night of imagining he was playing kept being interrupted by the others creating plans to listen in to Alison. He turned to face the Captain, Robin, and Julian at the door to see the Captain straining around the doorframe. “Guys, stop trying to eavesdrop. It’s a girls night!”

“Hush, Patrick!” The Captain said. “I think I heard your name a moment ago.”

Pat jumped up and sped to the door, finally taking interest: “what do you reckon they’re talking about?”

The house erupted with life as uncontrollable laughter floated down the hallway, pulling silence across the TV room. Mike stood behind where the ghosts were focussed the laughter, listening to only to his wife’s giggles.

“Sleepover with some ghosts, huh?” He mumbled. “This house is weird, man!”

“Mmhm,” Pat hummed.

“I agree,” the Captain said.

“Is strange place,” Robin agreed.

Mike flicked off the TV and walked straight through the men, causing them to double over in nausea.

“Weird place,” he muttered.

[reminiscing-writer]

Off The Deep End

-

Warnings: none for this chapter. Starts with fluff, ends with angst. But shits gonna hit the fan lmao

-

-

Spencer pulls up the comforters in an attempt to cover his ears from the horrendous alarm that was enveloping his room.

“Make it stop," he grumbled into an empty bed.

"It's been ringing for a little more than an hour now," he heard his favorite voice from the attached bathroom of their bedroom, "it's about time you woke up, don't you think?" She peeked through the doorway, rolling her eyes with a smile at her sleepy husband.

"I have a better idea," Spencer mumbled sleepily.

“Oh?”

"You come into bed with me." He propped himself onto his elbow, barely managing to pry his open. He glanced over to the digital alarm clock on the bedside table which read 6:15 in bright red luminescent lights.

He inhaled a sharp breath slowly sitting up in bed, stretching his arms widely. The covers fell back onto the bed as he stood up and made his way into the bathroom.

"Excuse me," Amelia looked at her husband from the mirror. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, resting his head on her shoulder. "Occupied." She giggles as he kisses the nape of her neck.

“Can you join me in the shower?” He asked his wife, looking at her big brown eyes through the mirror.

She turned to face him, smiling sweetly, “I'm already dressed, babe.” She puts on her earrings. “Sorry.” She apologized laughing at his disappointed sigh.

“You don't have to be at work ‘til 8. That's enough time for a second shower.” He rests his forehead against hers. He gives her a look up and down, thanking all the Gods he could think of for giving him an eidetic memory.

Her style was modest and girly. Floral prints and pastel colors. Lots of dresses and skirts (which she loved to twirl and spin in).

She quickly gives him a peck on his stubbly cheek, and squirms her way out his arms. “Get ready quickly. Breakfast will be ready in 20, and I would like to eat with you before I leave for the day.”

-

Pulling the buttons on his cardigan close, he rushed into the kitchen when he heard the bacon sizzle.

“Lia,” he grumbled, quickly stuffing a few raspberries in his mouth before she could stop him, “you spoil me.” He kisses her cheek.

She gives him a toothy, childlike grin.

She loved being appreciated and praised. It made her feel giddy. And, when she felt like that, she gave this adorable smile, which was one of the many things Spencer loved. Her two front teeth, and side canines displayed themself through her smiling lips.

“Should I do the omelette?” Spence offered as he set the table.

“I was thinking of no eggs today.” She answered, pouring pancake batter onto a second pan. When he gave her a questioning look- eggs being her favorite in the mornings- she just shrugged. “The smell has been setting my stomach off for a few days now.”

After he poured the duo Orange juice, the two quickly ate, cleaned, and rushed out the door. Both said their ‘I love you's’ and parted their separate ways.

-

Amelia, being a preschool teacher, had very simple hours. From 8am, until 2 in the afternoon. After that, she was home, and usually waiting for her husband's arrival.

Spencer didn't have such a predictable schedule. Sometimes he would come home around 5 in the afternoon. Other times, if he had paperwork he wanted to wrap up, he would stay late till nearly midnight. And, of course, if a case came up, he could be gone for days.

But, regardless, whatever his schedule may be for the day, he always, always, made sure Amelia was aware of it.

Today was no different. She got home from work at about half past two. She had a feeling in her stomach. One of much excitement. A part of her wanted to wait for Spencer to come home, but a bigger part wanted to find out before him. That way, she could surprise him if she was right. And, if she wasn't- well, at least, that way, he wouldn't be disappointed also.

She tossed her handbag onto the couch of her apartment, and made a beeline for the bathroom.

After a total of three minutes, she's on the bathroom floor, one hand over her mouth, her other hand holding tightly onto a plastic stick and her eyes flowing with tears.

Happy tears.

She couldn't believe her eyes. There it was. The pregnancy stick she had bought nearly four months ago, finally in her hands reading exactly what she was hoping for.

Two solid lines, screaming, that she was going to be a mother. She wanted to call Spence straight away. She wanted to scream it off the rooftops and to the world. She wanted to call her best friend, and her mother and sister-

But first, she obviously had to tell her husband. But, not like this. She couldn't say news like this over the phone. No, she had to surprise him.

So, that's exactly what she planned on doing. Very quickly, and very happily, she got to baking. And whisking, and piping. Soon enough, she had a dozen cupcakes baked and frosted.

Some pink with blue sprinkles, some blue with pink sprinkles. She had a few topped with candles which she planned to light right before Spence came home.

Which reminded her-

Amelia paused the music which was blasting from her cell phone, and dialed her significant other.

One ring, two ring , three r-

“Hello?” She heard his voice answer.

“Hey,” she smiled widely. “Still at work?”

He hummed, “Yeah, just about wrapped up. I should be home soon.”

Amelia's stomach was storming with butterflies and she was scared, thinking, somehow, that her husband would unveil her secret through the phone. “Hurry,” she bit her bottom lip, “I have a surprise for you.”

“Oh?” She heard his voice perk up, “Is this a family friendly surprise? Or, should I just come straight to the bedroom?” She could hear a smirk playing at his lips.

“Why don't you just hurry home, and you can see for yourself.” Amelia teased.

-

Amelia must've fallen asleep watching television, because, one moment, she's watching The Real Housewives reruns at 3 something, and the next, she's waking up feeling lost in sleep at almost midnight.

She feels discombobulated for a moment until she realizes she was waiting for her husband before her unplanned nap. Confused, she looks around her quiet, empty- very dark- apartment.

Sitting up on the coach, she grabs her phone and dials Spencer's phone, simultaneously turning on a nearby lamp.

He said he'd be home soon. She thought to herself. She swallowed hard, her sleep making her mouth dry.

No rings. Straight to voicemail.

Yawning, she goes to her contacts, and dials the next best number she can think of.

After two rings, she hears an all too familiar male voice. “Hey, Amelia.”

“Hey, Derek. Sorry for waking you.” She knew she didn't wake him. She could hear the television in the background.

“Nah, mama, it's cool. What, Boy Genius not letting you sleep?” He laughed. Amelia could hear Savannah asking Morgan who's phone call he was on so late at night.

“Um- actually, that's why I called. Boy Genius isn’t home yet.” Amelia stood from the spot she was in for the past few hours, “I spoke with him earlier, and he said he'd be home around 3-ish.” She fiddled with her fingers, and an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

She could feel the confusion on the other line as Morgan quickly made an excuse, “You know, he probably turned his phone off and didn't realize it. That man is basically a caveman when it comes to technology. You know that.” Amelia started pacing her living room floor, “Don't stress, I'll call him and figure out where he is.”

The worried wife bit her inner cheek, “Thanks, Derek. Again, sorry for bothering you and the missus.” She felt guilty.

“Nothing to apologize about, Kid. I'll figure out where Pretty Boy is, and when I do, I'll eat his ear off for you.” He snickered, making Amelia smile. “Get some sleep. He’ll be home soon.”

Amelia wasn't tight-knit with Spencer's team, but she were fairly close. They were his family after all. So, it felt natural having to call Derek Morgan when Spencer hadn't come home yet. He was basically Spence’s big brother.

Saying another round of ‘thank you’s and ‘sorry’s, Amelia hung up the phone. Turning to face her kitchen counters, she saw the cupcakes she had set out in wait for her husband. Pink and blue sweets littered the countertops.

She had an uneasy feeling stirring within her. Nothing like the one she had before taking the pregnancy test. No, that was excitement. This, what she was feeling now, was all dread. With every fiber within her, she felt a strong fear.

And rightfully so.

-

Spencer was on the nose when he said he was ‘just about wrapped up’. After the call with his wife, he was more excited than usual to get home.

Spence and Amelia had what an outsider would call, puppy love. They were young, and openly affectionate. They were in what seemed to be a never-ending honeymoon phase.

Being together for 5 years, three of those as married, Spencer still looked at Amelia as if she was the reason the sun shone every morning, and she was the one who put the stars in the sky.

This was no ‘puppy love’. This was an ‘old couple sitting on a porch watching the sunset love’.

Spencer quickly packed his satchel, and because he was the last to leave the office, shut off all the lights. Taking the elevator down and quickly jogging to his parked car, he throws his bag in the passenger seat, and just as he's about to get in himself, he hears a voice call for him.

“Um- excuse me?” The curly headed brunette looks up, over his shoulder. He sees a hunched over chubby man, standing at the entrance of the parking lot. The two men lock eyes, and the stranger shows Spence a paper map from the distance. “I was a little lost, and was hoping I could just get some directions.”

The FBI agent licked his lips, and stepped a few feet away from his vehicle. “Where did you need to go?”

The chubby man made a smile which was crooked, “Question seems to be where I am now.” He laughed.

Spencer walked closer to the man who opened up the map. “Well, you're here,” he pointed at a cross section between two streets.

“And, now, where would that leave the Fish Market on Drewry Street?” He asked Spencer.

“Well, on Drewry Street, for starters.” Spence gave half a laugh, locating the street on the map.

As he pointed with his index finger, he looked up and saw the man staring intently at him. A smile took place on his lips, and before Spencer could react, or ask any questions, he felt a blunt force hit the back of his head.

Stumbling back with a grunt, the tall helpful man grabbed the back of his head, feeling warm, what he assumed was blood. “What the- agh! Mmpph!” A hand covered the agent's mouth.

In lighting speed, a windowless van pulls up beside the men. The man behind Spencer pushes him into the back of the new vehicle. The once hunched, and seemingly harmless stranger, now stood taller than Spencer. He shut the door of the van, leaving a half conscious, fully confused Spencer lying in the back. He jumped into the passenger seat of the van, and the car sped off with a screech.

Leaving behind only a skid mark on the road, and Spencer's satchel in the car, the van was long gone before any bystanders could take notice.

[notmuchofarolemodel]

It's 4 a.m

I'm still awake

Thinking of all the

shit

I've done

I've been told to meditate

ican'tican'tican't

it's called 'loving kindness'

the practice.

I was supposed to start by saying kind things to myself

but it became clear that I couldn't do that

either.

I tried sending love to other people.

but I couldn't decide who

so many people deserve

more

Than I've given them.

does laying

out

these words

d

i

f make me cool? quirky?

f I'm a shallow self-absorbed kid.

e

r i play ukulele ffs

e

n

t

l

y

I HATE PEOPLE

i hate me

i read three books today. people think im so clever. they're dissapointed when they find out the truth

SMART PEOPLE SLEEP DAMNIT

i have two running commanteries

in my brain

One is where The other is a web

It's like I'm of confusion but

Being constantly. blindingly clear

Watched or Thoughts.

Interviewed

.

noise

Is it better to have no noise?

when i put the headphones on, i hear nothing. Is it nice? no. my head is echoing. Ah, early morning paranoia. WHO'S CALLING MY NAME? I rip them off. No noise. My clock ticks.

I breathe. Something Hits my window. (under no circumstances look up) but the space between the noise is

a g o n i z i n g l y SILENT.

I don't listen for the noise that could shatter the void. but they're invading my ears like caterpillars, if they liked inhabiting ears. someone's downstairs. Footsteps. They're going to kill us all. "WHO'S THERE?!" I scream. silently. nobody. I'm crazy.

I try to block out the thoughts, and memories of what I've said to hurt people.

OK WHY AREN'T I TIRED?

I'm too tired to get up

though. Not uncommon. still.

I CAN'T SLEEP

I wish I could write songs.

but I can only do whatever the hell these are.

you know when the teacher falls silent and you know you're in trouble? I hate that.

I hate answering teacher questions

I hate being scared

I DON'T LIKE VERY MUCH NOWADAYS

I have to do the things I hate though

mY hoMeWoRK lOOmS in front of me. like something stuck in a door hinge. I can't shut the damn door on it and enjoy myself.

because i 'NEED' to do the stupid stuff(not what a need is defined as in business studies) but I don't.

hypocrite

adj. (1)/ me

i dislike people

I'm not unhinged but I'm desperate for someone to view me as normal

c a n' t y o u s e e

I act like this as a defense?

If the weirdo does something weird it's because she's weird so it's not questioned, but if other people do the same thing, they're judged ad ridiculed and pitied and Hurt and i don't want that

how can I so crave attention from other people but want to be left alone at the same time?

I don't want to sleep

I don't like the

lying sTILL LIKE a log

thing. Too much thinking.

I can't channel them into anything

When I was little I loved dressing up girly and fixing things. Pretending to build bookshelves with my plastic power tools. building bookshelves with my dad. I'm not asked to help with that stuff anymore. then I'm called lazy? I wonder why?? Hypocrites. I wonder where I get it from.

I gained like [lots of] kilos in a year. Yes growing, and yes hips and shit, yes I was really skinny but still

f a t t y ✓

hm. I need a shower.

It's 5:05 a.m

my parents think I don't get enough sleep anyway. shit.

Last time this happened, they didn't believe me so it's fine.

I'm a tad dizzy.

bystander

The world is too awake

For me to sleep

but yet I can only watch it go by.

the moon. How bright

For a ball of cheese.

C O M E D Y

lockdown is more busy than non lockdown

I feel numb

Indifferent

numb

OW. I dislike emotions.

huh.

I wish people would stop commenting.

"you're eating too loud"

*Insert laugh here*

"stupid"

*pitying look*

ok maybe it's not just comments.

the little ones hurt the most

when they didn't expect you to care about something stupid. About you.

I really wanted this jumper (profile pic) but they're sold out and were limited edition. FB said there was one left.

This started as a poem thing.

funny.

My pencil is running out.

I wrote it originally in watercolor pencil.

A bit of water and "all gone"

they were my first words .

my logical thought takes over and tells me my irrational thoughts are stupid. And me. I can't tell them apart anymore.

h

P i L os OPHY

gotta make it into a joke as per usual

hehe I'm nocturnal. ♪

WOULDIWAS SHOOKSPEARED

i want my phone back now. It's 7 minutes past 5:05 a.m. I'm sick of thinking.

I need a haircut

I don't like acting anymore because I dislike thinking about my emotions and acting is trying to harness these emotions that I've got locked away

[NOTE: my organs could implode somehow for some reason somehow]

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Emotion layered leftovers

1+2 constantly refreshed, not deep, happy sad angry etc.

They're the ones ppl see

3. Stuff. If I trust u, u get this mess

4. Lol idk

5+6 stagnant sad shit. Fermenting.

Haha my therapist would like my emotion kombucha. Yum. I'd like a therapist. Y O M

I'M DONE WRITING NOW

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜