#i'm making good progress on the first one it's more just doing tons of research and being forced to learn about my godforsaken state

[latimeria-fell-from-heaven]

guys send help i have my midterm exam due today for my government class but i have to write three 700-word essays and they're supposed to be about the constitution, federal-state relations, and us being a one-party state SEJUFPWFIJHK,,

[rubberduckyrye]

You know I've seen quite a few people say they're wanting to make v3 rewrites lately--and as someone who is actively working on one by myself, I feel like I should give some advice. I know I'm nowhere NEAR done with Twins AU, but I've made a ridiculous amount of progress and I think these things have greatly helped me out personally

So here are my tips for making a V3 rewrite and actually making it stick/not to burn out before the first chapter!

This is important. Don't try to please everyone. You will never please everyone. Write this for yourself, and you will find an audience. People can and will hate your fic no matter what you do. Don't try to please them, they are not your target audience-- so Write this story for, first and foremost, yourself. It'll feel so much more rewarding if you do I promise.

V3's main theme is extremely muddied due to how the narrative was and how open ended the game was left, and from my own research, no one can agree on what V3 was trying to say about truth and lies, or Reality and Fiction. If you want to rewrite this story, you're going to need to narrow down what you want your rewrite to say about the themes presented.

PLAN THE EVIDENCE AND MURDERS AS THOROUGHLY AS YOU CAN. I think not knowing what I was going to do for the cases and trials really scared me for the longest time until I essentially sat myself down and fleshed out all of the cases for Twins AU. Make evidence lists, do research on how your murder cases might go, the works. It's a lot of work but I personally followed this post and also made an evidence list to help me out plot out the murders for Twins AU. This is also a great way to flesh out your protagonist as well, since you get to explore their note-taking style and what kind of language they'd use for taking notes and if they have opinions about certain things.

Write a summary of each character in the story. DR games have a big cast and V3 has an even BIGGER cast than usual, so it's good to write down summaries for all of the characters. I also suggest really studying each character too, even if you plan on changing a character to better suit your tastes (or to get rid of offensive material.... looking at you Angie) you still want to keep the core of their character intact for fans of that character.

Speaking of characters, make sure to try and remember to write each one as a human being, even if they aren't human (Kiibo for example). Develop them, give them quirks and flaws, motivations and wants and desires and dreams. Even if you hate a character, doing this much character study will help you keep them in character and keep their motivations reasonable and understandable.

If you don't have a good grasp on a character, study harder. Don't go looking for other people's interpretations or try to be a crowd pleaser. Make your own interpretation, and that interpretation becomes special to your rewrite.

If you plan on changing a character, for the love of GOD do your research first. Don't go accidentally making Angie into a worse racist caricature of Pacific Islanders Please and Thank You. Actually, just do a ton of research in subject you think might be relevant to a character or the plot--like Gonta and how ableism prevails in his story. Like how Shuichi has anxiety up the wazoo and how Maki has learned helplessness. Study and research hard.

Pace yourself--I don't think people realize how GIANT a V3 rewrite project is--remember that this game is extremely long and you cannot write this in a single month. Once all of your planning is done, write a reasonable amount for it each day. For me, I'm able to crank out 2k a day because I type absurdly fast, but most people would probably want to start at maybe 500 words a day.

If you're not having fun, step back. You might be burnt out and need a break, or maybe the scene you're writing is just not working. Take time to assess your own feelings and do what is appropriate to resolve them.

Don't feel too discouraged if you need to rewrite a whole scene--it happens to the best of us and sometimes things are just not working. It's not lost progress to retry--consider the scene you are replacing as a rough draft you need to remake. I've had to erase huge 1k chunks due to this.

Reward yourself for big accomplishments! When I finished the prologue, I threw myself and my editor ( @trans-shuichisaihara ) a pizza party, and I plan on doing something like that again, albeit probably cheaper. Reward yourself for huge milestones! Hell, I owe myself at least one treat for two chapters I've written, but tbh I've been having so much fun just writing that doing so is rewarding within itself. That doesn't mean external factors can't help, so if you finish a chapter and you're proud of it, buy yourself a treat for working so hard!

If you got a friend who likes editing/beta reading, invite them to beta read for you! They can help you find errors and typos that you might've missed. If you plan on editing your fic, I highly recommend reading your writing out loud to help you find weird sentence structures and awkward phrases. This should have the bonus of making it easier for people who use screen readers/just prefer audiobooks to enjoy your fic as well!

EDIT! Here are two more:

It's okay to be scared writing something new! Getting out of your comfort zone is going to happen with a giant story like this, and maybe you're going to flop at the best parts. That's perfectly fine!!! You can always edit it later--or even just call it "good enough" and move on! This is fanfic for fun, not a professional project you're making money off of. It's okay if things are less than ideal and incredible imperfect. An imperfect story is at least written. That's better than not writing it at all.

For the love of everything that is holy, remember that the characters should be people--and remember that their talents do not make up their entire personality. Their talents should not solely dictate what they wear, how they act, or the worst offender in this fandom--how their executions go. When writing a character Execution, think instead of what would be the worst way for that character to die--that is to say, what would bring them the most despair upon their death. DR1 and DRV3's executions all play with the despair of the blackened in each execution (with DR2 being noted to heavily miss the mark and to be the set of executions that are the most disappointing to Kodaka, from what I've been told.) So if you're stuck on writing a new Execution, try to think about what each execution from DR1 and DRV3 does to play with the despair of the blackened. What about their executions are giving them despair in their final moments? Do they at all relate to their talents, or are they completely separate from their talent? Study them, and you'll be able to use that information to write your own unique executions that are miles better than most of the fan made executions out there.

And I think that's my advice for now! Happy writing, everyone!

[spopsalt]

Just gonna drop this one off here. We can all agree Hazbin and Helluva are dropping balls and fumbling bags left and right.

So, I’m gonna recommend a few GOOD series that discuss life, death, and religion.

1. Dead Like Me. It’s an early 2000s show about George Lass, an 18 year old woman who’s life was cut short when she died on her first day of the job. No longer a part of the living, George gets a new job, reaping souls before they die and helping them pass on. It’s admittedly dated, but much better at handling it’s more progressive themes than Vivziepop. The soundtrack and fashion is pleasing aesthetically. And as for writing, there are some things left to be desired, but its still incredibly ambitious with an amazing cast of characters. Lots of nuance. DO NOT WATCH THE MOVIE. Also, if you like Hannibal, this was created by the same guy.

2. Good Omens. You’re on Tumblr, you’ve probably heard of it, so I’ll keep it short. It’s essentially The Omen, with a twist to it. Due to a series is mix-em-ups on the day he was born, the AntiChrist was mistakingly raised by a normal, loving family. Having had a rather not-so-complicated friendship since the creation of man, a demon and angel must team up to stop the end of the world as we know it. Taking the well know Omen story, and adding its own humorous twist to it alone makes the story fun. But it’s also fascinating seeing the representations of angels, demons, and horsemen alike. The overall take on religion was fun in and of itself. It was also a book.

3. Hellboy. During WWII, the Nazis opened a portal. A baby came from that portal. That baby was Hellboy (yes, that’s his name.) Hellboy was raised by the US government organization BPRD (The Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense). He’s supposed to bring about the end of days, but HB is a brawler with a heart of gold and a hand of rock. And maybe a taste for alcohol. The series hosts a ton of fascinating characters, with all sorts of different backgrounds, lore, and species. There are many cues takes from world mythology, Abrahamic religion, and even H.P. Lovecraft. It’s mainly a comic franchise. The first two movies were great. There’s also a mini comic series called ‘Itty Bitty Hellboy’ that’s cute.

Never watched those before, but I'm sure those did them better than Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss (It's not hard) I might check those out!

[differenteagletragedy]

so… idk how interested you are in stuff like bridgerton/pride and prejudice/etc, but i’ve been obsessing over the idea of like a Regency au ever since my friend was like “baxter is in the wrong genre. that man is suited for historical romances. he dreams of writing by candlelight and fainting onto couches.” so do you have any hcs on a regency/historical romance au? assuming you do aus? thanks :)

I haven't watched Bridgerton! It's been many years since I read/watched Pride and Prejudice so apologies if this is a little too Darcy, but I think there would be some similarities between him and Baxter!

-- Baxter is a fancy man now, so living in a time period when men dressed fancier in general, he's going to have to kick it up a few notches. I'm thinking flashier colors, maybe some floral patterns.

-- Those little dances they threw all the time? You know he's there all the time. He has tons of one night stands with people he meets there, but then he meets MC and they are Different.

-- Baxter on a horse Baxter on a horse

-- Does he need a cane? No. Does he have a fancy one anyway. Yup.

--You're not going to catch him in a hat. He knows he's pretty and he doesn't want to take attention away from his face.

-- Basically this version of Baxter is unbearable lol but he does have his charms! Maybe he's playing charades with MC and throws the game just to be a silly little guy and make MC laugh. Or maybe they're playing cards and he keeps pretending to make dumb mistakes, again for a laugh.

-- Everybody talks with that flowery language, so he's going to have to lean on something else to make him stand out, and I think it would be his goofiness. Like he's still charming, of course, but he's not going to be a weirdo in the way that the Baxter of today is.

-- He'd still go on a walk with MC and make up a bunch of nonsense about the things around them.

-- Why am I researching this like I'm writing an essay

-- He would very much want to court MC, but he wouldn't feel like he was worth it. So what I think would happen would be that he began the courting process with the knowledge that he'd eventually just stop.

-- Liz is their chaperone lol

-- Baxter and MC are going for a walk and Baxter is running his mouth and Liz is just like "good god this guy ..."

-- A historian spoke to PBS (this is getting so serious) and explained, “You would initially address one another as sir, my lord, or madam, depending on rank, and then progress to Mr. and Miss So-and-so, or Lord and Lady So-and-so. To use a person’s Christian name during courtship was a special mark of intimacy. And we can often see the moment in their letters when someone asked to be called by their first name, signaling that a relationship was becoming much more serious and, in fact, might later progress to pet names and things like my dearest love or my dearest life.”

-- So the first time MC actually says Baxter's name it's just going to absolutely wreck him, it's going to hit him right in the heart.

-- And when they end up together Baxter calls them "my dearest life" CAN YOU IMAGINE

-- Apparently if you ended a courtship then the proper thing to do was return the letters you'd sent each other, Baxter cannot do this emotionally

-- He'd be like "I burned them they can't have them" and keep them like under a floorboard so he could read them at night and cry.

-- MC's reputation is definitely going to take a hit. Baxter's was already bad but now it's worse, and now he feels guilty for messing with MC in the first place.

*a few years of mess*

-- Baxter has traveled, seen places and done things, but he finds himself back in his hometown. There's a ball. He'd decide to go for old times sake, and you were probably married by then so nbd

-- There you are though!

-- He wants to throw up, but he asks you to dance anyway because he can't help himself. MC agrees because dang that Baxter is smooth.

-- Ok ok, so back in those days if you danced with somebody twice then people thought that was a Big Deal and that you basically wanted to marry them.

Baxter: I would ask for another dance, but I don't deserve it.

MC: Why don't you try asking anyway.

Baxter: But if we have another dance, people are going to talk ...

MC: Let them talk ... Baxter.

Baxter: *swoons*

-- Yeah that's corny and silly, but we're just having fun here.

[ddarker-dreams]

yooo lock from one gamer to another, any recs for the steam summer sale? i've got most horror jrpgs down like misao, ib, and witch's house

ANON FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i was thinking about this ask for a few days and. ahem. in that time, the steam summer sale ended. 😦 just keep this in mind for the next sale perhaps?? alas. here are some of my favorite games on steam .

disco elysium

one of my favorite games of all time. i replayed it recently and have a newfound appreciation for every element of it. the extensive worldbuilding can be overwhelming at first, but i personally enjoyed how fleshed out the world is. the writing is sublime and i've never experienced anything like it across any medium. also it's the only game to have kim kitsuragi so that automatically makes it a 10/10

divinity original sin 2

this game is another favorite of mine. there were multiple times when i was playing it where i went 'huh, i wonder if i can do so and so' and i could. i killed a giant ogre with like 10k HP by sneaking an invisible character into its vicinity and teleporting it into lava. before leaving an area i killed a character who i bought tons of equipment from and got all my money back. it's just a really entertaining game. you can also play it with friends so that's fun. the game can be as dynamic as you want it to be. i like spending hours researching the most optimal builds but you don't have to be a nerd to make it through the content. or you can be like me and spend thirty minutes setting up explosives and perfectly placing each party member before every combat encounter because i've never felt the touch of a woman

hades

fast paced, fluid combat, greek mythology, killer soundtrack, pretty graphics, and bisexuality. what more can i say. i got such an adrenaline rush after beating the final boss that i almost collapsed onto the ground and rolled around like a pill bug. very very fun and addicting

hyper light drifter

HNGNNGN PRTTY and the soundtrack also slaps here too. the color palette is so gorgeous. once you get into the rhythm of the combat you feel like a god among men. zooming all over the place. nyooooooom.

omori

this game took my heart, ripped it out of my chest, stomped on it, slapped it back into place, then closed my open ribcage with a hello kitty bandaid. i cannot praise it enough. it's charming, the psychological horror is one of a kind; it's a game that seeps under your skin and stays there. if you haven't played it yet and you're comfortable with the dark themes it explores i'd recommend it 100%. go on without any spoilers.

pillars of eternity

i uh. i like CRPGs. pillars of eternity has a special place in my heart because it went onto influence how i do worldbuilding. the game has one of my favorite stories from a CRPG, it's overflowing with creativity that's explored to the fullest. it's also made by the folks who created fallout new vegas so that's a bonus. the combat isn't my absolute favorite when compared to something like divinity original sin 2, but i still found it enjoyable overall. interacting with the characters and the fleshed out world was what i had the most fun with.

planescape torment

this game's combat is scuffed but the story is one of the best across any medium. play on easy i'm not joking the combat does not matter. but the world, the characters, the factions, how it dabbles into philosophy, the story that leaves you with more questions than answers as you progress,, it's just so good. when it's on sale it's ridiculously cheap and so worth the price of admission. there's lots of reading but if you're into the type of stuff you'll love this game. also there's a floating talking skull

va-11 hall-a: cyberpunk bartender action

ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVS THE VIBES ARE IMMACULATE THE WRITING IS IMMACULATE THE ART IS IMMACULATE THE SOUNDTRACK WOULD MAKE BEEHTOVEN JEALOUS and there's also bisexuality here too. this game is an example of the writing i wanted to aspire towards after i played it for the first time. it influenced me heavily.

[herbgerblin]

Hi Herb!! I was wondering if you had any advice on opening commissions? I enjoy your art immensely and you were one of the first people I thought of to ask since I know you do commissions on occasion

Sorry if this is totally weird, I am just at a complete loss! Thanks for taking the time to read this!

These are things I wish I had figured out when I started selling art commissions. Also, feel free to use my current commission form to pattern your own. (also if anyone >.> wants to commission me, I am open <.<)

Step 1: Write a Terms of Service

Good terms of service will manage the expectations of your clients, establish a level of professionalism, and protect you if someone tries to argue something already made clear in writing. You can keep your ToS really simple, but it's good practice to include the following:

What kind of art you will/won't do (I don't do nfts)

Estimated duration of the project (2-4 weeks is my M.O.)

Number of revisions (more than 3, I add a fee)

When and how often you will update the client

Rights that you retain as an artist/permit to the client

Note: This mainly applies to personal/non-commercial work. If you are approached to make art for a game/magazine/website, do a ton more research. You will need to write out a contract that makes things Boringly Clear, and you will want to retain all of your rights as an artist.

Step 2: PRICES (scream)

Everyone starts out underselling. I'm underselling (I'm trying to get better.) Just go at your own pace. Look at what other artists are offering, but don't just look at the quality of their work. Think about your turnaround time, your style, and your target audience. If you are a fast worker or very detailed, that's worth a pay bump. Niche communities will pay solid money for artists to cater to them. So for example, if you draw fetish art, you have more room to charge higher.

ALWAYS GET PAYMENT UP FRONT. You can offer half upfront and half upon completion. If it's a big or long-term project, it's okay to go 30/70. BUT NEVER START WORK WITHOUT SOME SORT OF COMPENSATION. I just had a client that has not paid me the 2nd half and they are blacklisted. This rarely happens but it does happen.

Once you think you've got a price chart you feel comfortable with, add $20. Do it, even if it feels wrong. You may have to pay transaction fees, or the work (often) takes longer than expected. It'll be a small mercy to yourself to account for these things. Raise your prices a little bit each year because you are growing in experience and inflation (scream) is a thing that affects the arts too.

Step 3: INTEGRATE AND AUTOMATE

I wish I had done this step years ago, but I slacked off, and therefore staying organized was a nightmare. The less "business" stuff you have to do manually, the more time you can focus on "creative" stuff.

Make a google form. Make it as easy for the client to input information as possible. In the settings, set it so that responses will go to an excel file. The questions you ask will be the titles of the fields, so keep them short and easy to read. Reference image attachments will save to google drive.

You can set it up so that you will get an email whenever you get a new response (you might want to make a separate email account specifically for commissions.) Prewrite confirmation responses and save them as templates so that you're not writing the same email to clients over and over again.

Set reminders for responding to clients, requesting payment, and finishing work. This can be through google calender or some other app. You are responsible for facilitating communication. Even if the email is just, "Hey, just letting you know the work is still in progress, I will send you a wip in 1-2 days." Client assurance is high priority.

I use paypal invoice for payments. It means I have to pay a transaction fee, but I factor that into my prices. It also ensures that I have clear documentation for orders, I can send reminders easily if I haven't been paid, and it just looks more professional overall. You can use whatever service feels most comfortable, just make sure you practice good bookkeeping (*stares at my taxes in horror*)

Step 4: Mockups and Descriptions

Provide examples of the work that you are going to. Make a mockup of busts/half body/full body, etc. Don't include anything you don't intend to actually produce.

Make sure that your form includes room to answer EVERY question about the commission that you might have. This will reduce the amount of back and forth you need to have with your client. You want to be able to get that request, confirm it, send that invoice, and jump on it ASAP.

Step 5: Start small, be honest, be firm

If you haven't done commissions before, have a limited number of slots available. Take break time after you've finished a certain amount. Don't languish over an art piece. At some point, it will be as done as it can be. Send it to the client, and keep rolling.

If you feel like you are getting overwhelmed, tell your client. It's bad practice to go on hiatus and not notify them while they're waiting on an update. If you genuinely forget to touch base with them, do so as soon as possible. Apologize, then finish the work as soon as you can. Refund if you think that's the most polite route, but completing the task is usually more appreciated.

Be cordial, but firm. People will try to bully you over little things, but don't give in. Ignore folks who say your prices are too high. Make it clear that if they ask for more than what is agreed, you will charge a fee. If you feel like a request is sketchy, get a second opinion.

obligatory paypal link: help me pay kravitz jr's vet bills

[sanddusted-wisteria]

An update on my fics

hey wow it's been 4 months

Nearly six months on both longfics lmao. I've been busy and will continue to be busy, unfortunately. Grad school is a different beast entirely to undergrad (be careful taking 3 grad classes in a semester. 2 heavy ones can really make you regret it), I need to prepare for job interviews and PhD program applications, and this summer I've been wrangling an internship and research work.

Even so tho, my MTAS brainrot is far from dead. It takes a lot of time and effort, but I still have a lot I want to do with the My Time verse and my OCs, both art and fic. So here's a quick update on where I am and what the plan is with my fics and fic series going forward, and some previews of what I have so far (on a separate post bc this one's already too long lmao)!

TL;DR: busy, but still writing! WIP snippets on the next post.

[Long post and rambling belowwwwww]

Earth and Sky

Currently my primary focus. E&S has evolved a TON since I decided to rewrite it. How much? Well...

[Drafting = first draft is in progress; Revising = draft is plot-complete, set aside for future editing passes]

In fact, I haven't even outlined the ending chapters since I recently had a change of heart in the kind of resolution I wanted. I got stuck on it enough that I decided to forego outlining anything for now and playing that one more by ear. I think any more time I spend tweaking these outlines might put me off this fic altogether :P

As someone that started writing with nameless/generic builders, writing for an OC is a different kind of challenge. I'm working to try and strike a good balance of focus on Wis vs Qi vs them together, and making Wis a very human, if not enjoyable character. Still, I think that this is one of those projects that if I can get right, it will be VERY right. It'll just take a bit to get there first :>

At minimum, I'll wait until most if not all of the chapters in the first third/quarter are done (chapters 1-16) to start posting, though hopefully I'll also have a solid idea for how some of the later chapters will go as well. Those are the really (internal) conflict-heavy chapters and I want to make sure it won't come out as shallow :P But I am excited to show you what I've got cooking!

A Cosmic Garden

This is the broader series for Wis and Qi. E&S will be the biggest fic, but it only goes up to a little beyond MTAS's Act 2. Beyond that, my plan is to write some side stories that go into Wis's Lore(tm), namely her origins as an Old World clone and her interactions with other Wis clones around the Alliance.

Why side stories? Well, a) any plot involving Wis as a clone is relatively spread out across the timeline of MTAS's story, since it's actually not that closely tied to her "main" storyline (being the first clone I made when the clone story was just kind of just a bullet point on their lore descriptions, it's less involved), b) it therefore doesn't really affect the story of how she and Qi get together, and c) I know that people might be far more interested in just the romance story with Qi (which is totally okay! I understand, I'm pretty much in the same camp with OC-centric stories a lot :P)

As for the equivalent of MTAS's Act 3, this won't be one cohesive fic, but a small series of smaller stories, since I don't really have too many ideas for a fully fleshed out telling of Act 3 that doesn't just walk through the main missions without much deviating from that. Some of those stories include:

A series of conversations between Qi and Miguel post Act 2

A Nia/Mi-an story

A silly little oneshot of Qi and Rosie interacting (tentative)

The original idea that Strangeness and Charm sprouted from; Wis and Qi conducting a methodical study on non-sexual intimacy (tentative)

The finale of the MTAS main story

A Builder, a Researcher, and a Rooftop

Currently on pause. For now, there's just too much OC brainrot for fics and on OTAS that I just need to get out. Don't worry! I'm absolutely not abandoning this one. I just can only really focus on one big project at a time lol. We're close to the end of this story's act 2, though not much of the remainder is written. In fact, chapter 34 is already done, but not chapter 33, so I can't quite post it yet. I think after I get the first part of E&S done (or I suppose whenever I feel like picking it up), I'll switch gears to at least get to the end of Act 2. Act 3 will need some reevaluation...I've hemmed and hawed over it forever, but I do want to finalize the plot for that one, and also potentially get started on that as well.

Others

To the...5 people that read my Grace/Wis miniseries, I really do still want to get that done a;sdlasdralsdrkj It's been hard since my thoughts on how Grace and Wis interact after Act 2 have changed a lot. But even so, I hate to leave it hanging there, so I've started working on it again. It's already outlined, I just need to get it filled in.

Someday I should come back to Quiet Moments in Sandrock... My art's gotten a ton better since then and there's a few ideas I still have leftover that I never got to. Unfortunately I need to make room for it somewhere in the 13438525 other art ideas I have that I can only do like 1 per week at MOST asdlrkasdasdrjksdrj

Sitting on the back burner forever in my writing folder is a fusion of Junji Ito's Uzumaki and MTAS... An MTAS version of Uzumaki's story works SURPRISINGLY well, and Wis and Qi I think make for stronger protagonists in this setting than Kirie and Shuichi in theirs if I do say so myself lol. It's fully outlined and everything, but that's gonna forever be on the back burner until either my longfics get done or I figure out how to write horror, whichever comes first 😂

So all in all...still cooking! Thank you if you read all this, and thank you for your patience, especially if you've been closely following any of my in progress fics. Hopefully once the interview and application cycle is out of the way this fall, I'll have more brain capacity to really plug away at all these and share with you all! :>

[ryanscabinlife]

I can't believe it's been a month since I posted the May garden update. A lot of things has happened. Loads of wins and also plenty of failures. I guess I'll start with the progress of the ones I featured last month.

The hardneck garlic that overwintered are just about ready to be harvested. According to online sources, garlics can be harvested about a month after the scapes emerges. I was delighted to see the scapes as I was taking pics this morning. Can't wait to collect and make something out of them.

Oh tomatoes. I talked about how our weather has been awful many of times on this blog. After the dry May, they started showing some damaged on their leaves, and since they barely saw the sun this month, they did not grow very much. I panicked so I bought 30 more roma seedlings and 6 more cherry tomatoes. After a few days of sun, all of them are bouncing back to life and looking very healthy. Now I'm stuck with 60 romas and 12 cherries. Not the worst problem to have, really. All corners of the garden have tomatoes planted in them.

The beds where the trellis is sitting is now filled with plants. All of the beans and peas are looking great. The snow peas are about 4 ft tall and there's plenty of beans on the ground. The luffa that I was so excited about, none of them showed up. I bought a packet of 10 seeds for a whopping $4.99 and only 1 germinated. I'm currently babying it and waiting for the perfect time to transplant it. The cucumber is the other one I'm totally having hard time with. So far I've already used up the whole packet, and so far I have seen none. I planted the last 6 seeds yesterday but I'm not holding my breath. We have a neighbour (I'm using the word neighbour very loosely here, they're about 5km from us) who have a small road-side stand and in the summer they sell cucumbers. I think I'm just gonna have to rely on them for cucumbers.

The potatoes (all 30ft row) are doing extremely well. Some of them suffered from light frost and their early leaves died but they all bounced back. I think next year, I'll plant them even earlier.

It looks like the apple or crabapple (I still don't know) tree had a couple of successful pollinations. I think the reason for the lack of blooms is because the tree has been neglected and unkept for a long time. I've already been researching and watching a ton of videos on how to properly prune apple trees so I can prune it next spring in hopes that it will put out more blooms next year.

The border is looking a bit sad. Something to be expected on the first year due to the fact that most of the plants I have in it are perennials. I think they'll live though, I can only hope that they come out stronger next year. Looking closely, the wildflowers that I broadcasted are out. I see hundreds of them. I've added two smaller beds, I'm hoping to fill them up with the annual seedlings I'm currently growing. No progress at all on the potted garden in the background.

The brassicas are my favourites but also the main cause of my headaches. Thank god I have seeded a good amount of extras because these bitches have plethora of enemies! The first to attack was slugs. They destroyed a handful of seedlings (100% my fault coz I decided to plant them too young). I battled this with non-stop weeding and slug hunting. So far it's been working, I just go in early in the morning, remove all of the slugs and the weeds they hide into. Then the rabbits. I did not plan to build a fence this year but after the rabbit attack that ate almost half of the original plants, I decided to build a fence around the garden. Again, so far it's working. Then just when they start actually growing, the damn flea beetles happened. Yesterday, I ordered some food grade diatomaceous earth. I'm aware that it will kill all of the insects it will come across with whether they're good or bad but I guess I'll just have to be careful not to put it on any of the flowering crops so it doesn't kill the pollinators. Next year, to avoid using such measure, I plan to install netting on all of the leafy veggies. I don't wanna do that now because it will just trap in the ones I already have in.

Speaking of flea beetles and brassicas, these godforsaken creatures killed all of the arugulas and boy choy I planted at the end of April. I then replanted them a couple of weeks ago and lo and behold, all of them are damaged again. I'm leaving them on the bed for now to hopefully serve as food for the pests and in hopes that I'll be able to trap and kill them once the diatomaceous earth arrives. I'll try to grow them again in the fall when the temperature starts going down with netting. But for now, I planted some of my extra tomatoes to keep this spot occupied.

To my surprise, the asparagus are doing exceedingly well. Can't wait for 2025 when I can finally harvest some.

I have 3 tomatillos that survived and they're doing well. They're planted with the original cherry tomatoes and celery.

3 weeks ago, I though these celery plants were dead, but they managed to come back.

Peanut, another big failure. I planted a whole row of peanuts parallel to the row of potatoes. 30 ft of it and roughly 40 seeds, 3 germinated, 2 out of those 3 got devoured by slugs. So now I have ONE peanut plant. I scattered few sage and pepper seeds in the area as replacement. Let's see what happens.

After the small radish harvest yesterday, these is what's left. I'm gonna give them a week or so until I pull them all out. In preparation for their departure, I have okras and eggplants growing in between rows. I've already replanted the okra and eggplants a couple of times because slugs and birds keep on eating them. To avoid that, I just covered them with recycled plastic cups as protection for now.

On the same bed as the radish, okra, and eggplants are the softneck garlic. It's more or less an experiment. I was just curious if they actually produce garlic bulbs at the end of growing season. The garlic cloves I used are from Costco. They're not looking too bad.

Next bed over (where I have the failed arugula and bokchoy) are onions. I bought a pack of a hundred bulbs and shoved all of them in this bed. They just started emerging.

Next bed after that (my biggest one) are corn, zucchini, and butternut squash. The corns are doing alright. I dealt with poor germination with both of the squashes and when they show up, birds eats them. Nothing much I could do other than keep replanting seeds and protecting the seedlings with plastic cups. Looks like the ones I have at the moment are gonna make it.

Next bed after that are carrots. I planted these back in April, and this is what they look like now. They sure to take their sweet time to germinate.

25-Jun-2023

[freeuselandonorris]

hello!! i have recently started working due to peer pressure from my roommate and all i can think about when im doing arms is your oscar piastri shoulders

do you have like a program you follow because i need a goal to semi work towards so i don't walk into traffic after another day of working out

hello!! skfleadk as a former chronically unfit slug person (i say this to myself lovingly but i did not move a muscle regularly for most of my adult life) this kind of ask makes me lightheaded so thank u!!

putting this below a cut bc it's long!

anyway i am going to give you a potentially very annoying answer which is that i pay an absolutely extortionate amount of money to my personal trainer so i don't have to think about building a programme bc i find it overwhelming and stressful 😭 SORRY. my PT literally calls it my "brain off programme".

howeverrrr - i'm assuming you're doing strength training here rather than cardio which frankly i know dick all about because i hate it - the general scope of my sessions is currently pretty simple, it's based on progressive overload with a slight bias towards upper body work (as that's where i'm weakest). i don't currently do any kind of elaborate workout split, although i might do in future as i get stronger and more advanced.

if you don't know about progressive overload, it's basically just ensuring that each workout increases in intensity - either heavier weights, more reps, more sets or longer holds. so if you're currently doing (i am pulling this example out of thin air) 3 sets of 8 reps with 5kg dumbbells for your bicep curls, then you can start increasing to 3 sets of 10, then 3 sets of 12 (or 10-12-10 at first), then 4 sets of 8, etc and then move up to 6kg and go back to 3x8 and start it all again, and so on. if you google sample progressive overload programmes there are tons online, but they all follow the same general principle of gradually increasingly the intensity in a manageable way each time you work out.

as an example, here are two of my workouts (i think there was maybe a week in between these that i don't have a screenshot of so these increases are a bit high to do in one go) - you can see how every exercise ramps up either in terms of the weight used or the amount of reps i'm doing, even though it's largely the exact same workout.

(don't judge my weights pls anyone who lifts heavy i've only been doing it for a few months 🥺)

i would also try and figure out some semi-long-term goals you want to aim towards! ideally a full body spread (so like, not all of them focused on shoulders or w/e). for instance mine are: squat my own bodyweight within 6 months, bench double what i'm doing now (my benching is soooo weak rn wahh), be able to do a full set of unassisted pull-ups by the end of next year. then you can figure out what to do to work towards those things in small steps. i also have some pole-related goals that tie into my overall strength goals.

heavy caveat that i am by no means an expert in any of this and haven't been doing it for that long, so pls do your research and if possible talk to a professional! ik doing personal training long term is financially unavailable for a lot of people and i count myself very lucky to be able to afford it, but if you can afford to just buy a short bank of sessions (even 3-4 1hr sessions) at your local gym i would highly highly recommend it bc they'll be able to give you so much more tailored help and give you some concrete stuff to work towards.

good luck w it 💪

[darry-queen]

The way I see Tim is that he is smart and very self aware. I also view him as someone who is responsible and a problem solver. So overall this would translate very well to class consciousness. Also, Tim cares about his siblings obviously and would want them to have better lives which would have him also seeking out a way to fix his class status.

^^ one of the reasons I like Tim as a communist so much is because I think he and Darry are the same in above's respect, but while Darry took a more "american dream" route in fixing his class status, which makes him fit in with Soc's perfectly due to the inherent selfishness of this act (basically instead of trying to fix the thing that made his class possible, and eliminating it so no one has to suffer, he becomes a class traitor and works for the betterment exclusively for his family and his own life) Tim developing proper class consciousness and fighting for the abolishment of his class in it's entirety so that no one would have to suffer as he does would make a very interesting distinction between the two of them. As well as would allow some great bonding moments between the two with Tim helping Darry shed his inherent selfishness. I think this goes exceptionally well alongside Darry helping Tim get his life together, they both learn from eachother and it's very sweet.

Back to my point though, between the civil rights movement and Vietnam being streamed onto every USAmericans television, progressive movements were going very strong throughout the time which coincided with a rise of communism and the popular american party. So Tim would be aware of communism as an alternative. I think he's smart enough to do research into what he's getting himself into before just going head first into it so he would read some theory. The Communist Manifesto was a very obvious one, Engel's Socialism: Utopian and Scientific, could be another contender for books he read due to it's notoriety and it being heavily translated and distributed all over the world. I was going to go on to list a shit ton of theory I think he'd be likely to read but it's kinda irrelevant overall HE WOULD READ THEORY IS THE POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE. Communists were still prosecuted at the time though, I think it's obvious Tim would not be scared of being fired from his job or being harassed because of his political position.

So with his newfound understanding of dialectics and the writings of previous communists he goes forth, unionizing his work places, agitating and doing praxis, just being an absolute menace with the hope of a better future.

Also some small general hc list for this:

He carries a small copy of Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-Tung with him everywhere he goes.

Does fundraising and food drives and other misc. mutual aid for the community

almost threw hands with Darry over Darry's politics

almost every job he has he's fired from it's for his beliefs (he can not keep his mouth shut!!)

literally insane dialectics

i'm being serious he can basically see the future he's got this shit on lock down

participates in union elections

I don't think he'd go for president/vice president, at least not until he is older, but he'd def go for steward

and he's good as fuck at it too

hes an excellent teacher and he has a fire in him that makes people want to follow

Anyway I love Tim and I love communism. peace ✌️

[nazmazh]

Well, I'll say one thing - Pokemon Go making me activate my video game grind mentality at least meant I made myself go for a walk

(well, several laps around the basement. I probably should have done my driveway loop earlier in the day, but it's dark now)

Basically, there's a "Masterwork Research" Quest Line, full of long, pain-in-the-ass quests. Most will finish eventually. It'll take me a long time to hatch 20 eggs, catch 500 Pokemon, and make 50 excellent throws.

But, statistically, they'll happen eventually

The "Visit Pokestops on 7 Different Days" one will be probably take some time, because I'm out in the middle of nowhere, but eventually, I'll get it done.

Being a rural player is kind of a pain for this, honestly - Back when I was in Airdrie, the park behind my house was a stop, so I could ping it from my desk. Same thing back when I was in Edmonton; there was the convenience store stop across the street to the north, and the dorm building across the street to the east, not to mention that from my office on campus I could reach several, and getting more meant just taking a quick stroll to stretch my legs.

Anyway - The only one in this set of tasks that required actual planning was "Catch 75 Pokemon in One Day"

The big obstacle there is that you need to have at least 75 pokeballs. More, most likely, because you're probably not gonna catch with every throw. Again, being rural and not having access to many convenient stops, my stocks of supplies usually run fairly low.

But, as luck would have it, I ended up finally being able to progress a bunch of "Beat Team Rocket" quests that had piled up, because I've finally got some mons that can actually take down the leaders' overpowered teams [I haven't really gotten tons of overpowered mons from raids or anything. In fact, earlier this month was the first time I managed to snag a raid participation while heading through town, which is what progressed all those quests to a stage I could actually do with my usual routine]

This meant that I had like, 5 or 6 quests to beat Giovanni ready to go, and I managed to just drag myself across the finish line on that one with a C-Team in the morning before going to bed [Shout-out to my Passimian for taking down his Persian, the big MVP, my Crustle, for taking out his Crobat (which had a Dark-type attack, meaning my Psychic mons couldn't safely fight it), and my Durant for bringing it home against his Cresselia. Bug-Types for the win?]

So, beating Giovanni got me a ton of items and a bunch of Pokemon encounters Meaning, this morning before going to bed, I had like 30 captures, and a ton of Pokeballs (ultra balls, even), so I figured now was a good day to push for the quest

I would have done more on it earlier, but we had company pop in Anyway, I had a bunch of incense in my inventory and read on how it worked. Apparently, one bonus Pokemon spawn every 5 minutes if you're stationary, one every minute or 200 meters if you're moving. So, I figured I'd make myself do some walking around to guarantee enough spawns to finish up

As a bonus, this meant my current egg hatched (Shiny Hisuian Growlithe, of all things!) And this finished another quest Which led to a bunch of "Pokemon Encounter" rewards Culminating with a guaranteed Celebi catch reward And as a capper, my Celebi spawned as a shiny! {Maybe it's guaranteed to spawn as shiny? The quest was called "Distracted by Something Shiny", after all]

But yes, now, the rest of the quests are inevitable. The one I actually had to actively work towards is done!

And I got a 20 minute walk in, which is never a bad thing.

Yay, exploitative video game mechanics…?

(I'm glad it was a guaranteed-to-catch thing, because the little fucker kept hopping around, and spawned far enough back on-screen that it was a major pain in the butt to actually hit with a Pokeball, so I probably would have burned all my stock trying to get it otherwise)

[cryptid-catnip]

Marigold, you're a Lily Orchard stan. You don't fucking think ANY trans creators other than her and Blaire White make good fucking content. It's literally in your BEST INTERESTS to hate what extremely popular, progressive trans women have to fucking say. Because of how much this completely destroys the credibility of the object of your evangelical obsessions. Contrapoints, PhilosophyTube, Jessie Gender, Lily Simpson, etc. all make incredibly well-researched and actually insightful content into media, politics, transphobic, etc. You're just creepily obsessed with a delusional far right grifter, so you have ALSO adopted the violently anti-intellectual beliefs that Orchard's been propagating for fucking YEARS at this point.

Which have played a MAJOR goddamn role (to say the least) in the both of you reactionary shitheads harassing/bully progressive trans women and LGBTQ+ people/artists/creators for fucking YEARS at this point. Brazenly in SPITE of you lying dipshits claiming to not even want to fucking INTERACT with TERFs or any types of right-wingers at all. Despite relentlessly insulting, mocking, and screeching at trans women online for money being literally the MAIN FUCKING THING that basically ALL TERFs and far right shitheads love doing!!!

Y’all are just so fucking angry, ALL the goddamn time, that actually progressive, politically literate trans women/LGBTQ+ people just. . . . .DON’T agree with or parrot the same reactionary, violently fascistic crap that you jackasses do all the fucking time. Hence treating every other trans women (obviously taking GREAT care to exclude the dangerously neo-Nazi loving ones of course) online like your own fucking personal drama mills that you can come back to for posts/videos over and over and over and OVER again!!!! It’s this disgustingly capitalist mindset where only ONE trans women gets to be “the best” and the one that everybody listens to, rather than helping out each other in order to succeed in their respective fields/paths.

TONS of other trans women make amazingly content online Marigold, you’re just too much of a vile fucking coward to more explicitly interact with the very conservative groups of people. That you’re demonstrably ALREADY a part of in every other fucking way at this point!!!!!

What. The fuck. Did I just read.

Fuck it

"You don't think any trans creators other than her and Blair White make good content"

Where did you get the impression I like Blair White? /srs

I have right-wingers in my dni (which is the first thing in this ask that makes me think you never even looked at my blog).

Also, this is based off the idea that I hate all other trans creators or something, which is patently false. Even among the creators you listed, Lily Simpson is one of my favorite YouTubers, and ThoughtSlime and EthanisOnline are another two great YTers that you didn't mention. I'll be honest, I don't really much care for PhilosophyTube's videos, they're just kinda... really boring and pretentious. Same with Contrapoints, except the idea that she's even remotely progressive is just a fucking lie. She talks about how she "sympathizes" with the misogynistic mass killer machine that is the Manosphere in her Incels video, and her tweets are... certainly something.

Here's her being a weird truescum.

Her videos are the definition of performative, not doing anything actually good, and just babying the alt-right while alienating her actual trans leftie fans with transmedicalist rhetoric, and just dresses up in silly costumes while talking about fucking nothing. Like, I don't know, talking about Twilight WHILE THERE IS AN ACTIVE GENOCIDE GOING ON IN PALESTINE.

Your entire idea is that I'm somehow right-wing because I'm not labeling a fellow trans person as an incestuous pedophile.

Go fuck yourself, asshole.

[selvesdiscovery]

hi, i'm putting this on anon because people i know are highly anti-endo and i don't wanna out myself as being pro-endo. if you want to delete this feel free btw since i know fusion is a touchy subject for some systems

we're a system. we've been diagnosed with DID and told to see a specialist. said therapist who diagnosed us and referred us out is advising we peruse final fusion. we would do it... except the only reason why we would is because we fear nobody would ever like us the way we are (we're a very independent and private system. other than the host, all dating and such is done in system and kicking the host out of front is rare).

do you have any advice on that? i'm sure it eventually gets easier but i'm not sure how to make it easier. do you have any resources and advice on getting comfortable with being a system, and being comfortable sharing that with people (both other systems and singlets)?

thank you. just delete this if it's against the rules or if it makes you uncomfortable :) your comfort is important too

Hi! Thank you so much for reaching out.

This question isn't too sensitive or anything like that, and I see stuff like this a lot in the system world. Even I myself have dealt with similar issues.

What really helped me was 'coming out' to only a few really close friends. It gave us the space to talk about what goes on inside our head, and be honest about who we are.

Ofc, this isn't super helpful if you dont have really close friends. The second best thing I can suggest from personal experience is participating in the system community, either here on Tumblr or on Discord or wherever else, and working on being progressively more open there.

Those are both really vague and I'm sorry about that, the only thing we really personally needed to come out of our shell was trust, either already pre-existing or built from watching others live the same way as us.

Something else that really helps us personally when trying to get more comfortable with ourselves OUTSIDE of a social context, is encouraging the others to find their own way. That's why we made this blog actually. The best way to become comfortable both socially and personally with being a system is to foster a space for every headmate to live their most authentic life as fully as possible.

If you can, try inviting your alters to front with you, to try out new things that AREN'T related to trauma, therapy, or journalling (If you don't have a journal already, I suggest you look into that first and foremost). If you can't, you could always just wait until you cofront naturally to bring this up with them. Your headmates are people too, and the best way to make THEM stop feeling like less than or like something to be ashamed of is to help them grow.

As for your therapist, it sounds like she doesn't have your& best interest in mind. If you can, I'd look for someone who's comfortable with both fusion AND functional multiplicity as options, and can help you find the way you truly want to follow way better than I, some stranger on the internet, ever could.

Lastly, a fair disclaimer, DONT go about doing any of these things if you think you or your alters might not be entirely ready. If you happen to be newly discovered as a system, it might be good to take some time to learn about one another at a nice slow pace, first, before jumping into anything else. Be very careful, as much as selves discovery and branching out and growing as people is important to being happy how you are, it can be dangerous to some systems in certain situations.

I could understand though how these things may not be what your looking for, but since I don't have a ton of information on your personal experience I can't really get any more specific. If you're looking for more specific resources, I'd encourage personalized research, or going to a professional with your concerns, since the most I really have for this sort of thing is personal experience.

Either way, I wish you luck, and I genuinely hope you can find people who accept you as you are, and help you in your journey to grow. You& got this!

[wondereads]

Weekly Reading Update (5/29/23)

Reviews and thoughts under the cut

Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Maas (7/10)

It took me a while to finish this book, but I got through it. It was a solid 7 for me, which is what I typically give average books. I think it moved way to slowly, and really could not have cared less about Dorian's whole thing, but there were parts I liked. I really enjoyed Manon's perspective—the wyverns are just so cool—I liked Aedion, and Aelin's finale was pretty good, even if I wasn't a huge fan of the build-up. I like that the romance seems to be taking a turn towards a slow burn, which I prefer infinitely to the meet-and-get-together-in-one-book approach that Maas often uses.

Island of Silence by Lisa McMann (8/10)

The first book of The Unwanteds is firmly average. It's fun to read, but it lacks something that makes it stand out, especially considering when it was published. That all changes in Island of Silence. While the first half of the book is just okay and there are some character choices that irk me, the second half is just batshit insane. All sorts of things are happening, including some great worldbuilding developments, and there's a huge plot twist at the end. It definitely makes you want to read the next book!

Code by Kathy and Brendan Reichs (8/10)

I really enjoy the Virals series. It's a candy series for me; not exactly great quality but so much fun to eat. The mysteries in these books are always so well-planned and researched; it's obvious the Reichs put a ton of effort into writing these. If you ever want to know some facts about Charleston, just read these books. I'm a fan of Tory Brennan, she's a relatable and likable protagonist, and I loved that the romantic subplot was getting more attention in this one. My one major complaint is that Tory seems to be shifting more and more in not-like-other-girls. In the first book, she at least had one other girl she was friends with/looked up to. Now most of her female interactions are limited to her dad's well-meaning but frankly idiotic girlfriend and her school bullies, which doesn't really make for an incredibly feminist narrative.

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System Vol. 4 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (10/10)

This book is after the main story has ceased and is a collection of short stories and extras that are basically just fanfiction. I loved it. It was cute, silly, and...steamy at times. I feel like after the third volume, which while great doesn't really have the time to delve into the main relationship, it's the perfect addition. It's pretty adorable to watch them become more comfortable around each other, and there's also some development for the secondary relationship and some side characters such as Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan. I enjoyed myself supremely.

Blood Bonds by J. Bree (CR, 51%)

I've made very little progress with this book since last week. I'm in no rush, and I've been craving a bit more substance. If you'd like to see my thoughts, check out the reading update from last week.

Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros (CR, 25%)

This book has been hyped to the moon and back, so I'm kind of nervous! So far, it's pretty good. I like that the main character, Violet, is clever and uses that to her advantage, though I do find her personality, which is very stubborn and sassy, very similar to most other YA/NA protagonists. It's really obvious who the love interest is supposed to be, but I like him so far, and I also like that there's no instalove situation going on, even if Violet (fairly) finds him attractive. The worldbuilding is incredibly interesting—the way the dragons work and the different types are just right up my alley. I suspect that while everything right now is revolving around Violet simply living through the next three years, there's something more under the surface (there have already been hints of historical revisionism!).

[frankiehagg]

writing journal: i'm restarting my manuscript from scratch, again

i just finished the fifth week of my second go at grad school. i am studying to become a translator! it is so great and uses my skills as a researcher, writer, and editor SO well, in ways i hadn't predicted. it has also, until this week, DECIMATED my capacity for non-school reading and writing. it's been so nice to pick up a non-assigned book, of fiction, about people who aren't real. missed this.

as my skills develop away from the crisis mode of learning a new skill, lean into my existing editorial skills, and leave me more free time, i find myself having time to fall into The Bad Mood, which happens when i'm not being sufficiently creative. so tonight is my rip roaring friday night of... starting the seventh draft of my six-years-in-the-making book manuscript, from scratch, again.

some FAQ about my intense journey with this manuscript:

Q: WHAT KEEPS GOING WRONG WITH THIS BOOK?

A: fundamentally, nothing. the story was too character-heavy in its first incarnation and dealt with themes that have been progressively less interesting to me. more accurate to say that my skills develop at a pace faster than the manuscript does. i don't mean this as a flex; i've averaged ~7k a month on this manuscript for years & other projects have naturally developed my skills along the way

Q: SEVERAL OF YOUR LAST DRAFTS HAVE ONLY BEEN 5-10k BEFORE YOU SCRAPPED THEM. WHY? ARE YOU *SURE* NOTHING'S WRONG WITH THIS BOOK?

A: i uh... ok, everything's wrong with this book. the themes are wrong. the beloved characters i have retained along the way no longer fit the story—at least one of them, the main character as i imagined her, needs to join the 350k pile of killed darlings, and the others need to undergo serious relevance editing. the logic of the setting is quite thin. my style is also "broke" on the scale of broke to bespoke; my skills are better now, so now every time i write this piece the voice is unbearably weak and uncompelling. fixing voice has been the main impetus for these endless restarts, and i haven't found one that both sounds good and works with the setting.

most egregiously: as the themes and setting are developed, the plot breaks and breaks and breaks.

i've been aware of these issues for a while and i hoped writing through them would fix my problems. not so. now that i've had a nice monthlong break from writing (at least, anything that wasn't translated from the original french), i opened my document and... didn't like what i saw. i opened my wiki and didn't like what i saw. i opened my file of short story ideas and—saw a theme. a theme that works very well with the setting i've been trying to develop, overhauls everything, and gives me a fresh lens from which to spawn new characters or refresh old ones with new purposes.

the first thing i am doing is scrapping everything. all meta material—gone. new scrivener file. new wiki file (i use obsidian for wikis, which i wrote at more length about here). i'll keep the old stuff for reference, but this is a new world for a new story. i am entering only with a vague understanding that this is a science fantasy story, both hero's journey and tragedy, and... isn't NOT about the john searle–jacques derrida debate.

it'll be good, i swear!

the second thing i am doing, for the first time in my life, is attempting to write a COMPLETE, COMPREHENSIVE outline—i am normally a cheerful planner-pantser combo—before i write a single word of prose. i am hoping this will help me identify areas of weakness before i invest a ton of words only to meet a dead end. since my time is at more of a premium than it used to be, i'll be able to mull things over longer-term and hopefully come to the file on weekends with developed ideas.

the third (and final?) thing i'm doing is to identify elements of style that i particularly vibe with in *reading* and make a point to run 20-minute style drills when i can carve out a spare moment, and keep them in a separate file for reference when it comes time to actually put down prose. i'm hoping this will help me hit the ground running with a style that motivates me to keep writing it, and prevent more style-related dead ends as well.

there are a lot of different ways to outline. beat sheets have helped me in the past, including save the cat and romancing the beat. increasingly i am moving away from beat sheets as structural crutches, but having a visual guide for the outline stage is still useful to me.

there's the kind of intensely complicated outlining tool like MOTT, but every time even i, a detail-loving methodical research type, open this spreadsheet, get scared, and close out again. instead i'm going to try a combination of the snowflake model and the ring structure as i try to feel my way toward a setting-relevant plot: my snowflake is going to have five act-sized points to start, and from there i will develop smaller and smaller details until i have a narrative outline that is also symmetrical for that "the hero comes home but they can never come home again because their home is NOTHING LIKE THEY THOUGHT IT WAS" kind of journey i'm going for.

i do NOT know if this is a good idea, it might NOT work, i might wind up with a rambling scrivener outline that is basically just a summary of the plot the way i have tried and burned out of in the past. but it'll be fun! let's try new things! failure is liberating in that failing again doesn't feel that bad! that's true, right? that's definitely true.

if you don't hear from me again i've gotten lost in the outline mines, but know i died as i lived: upset that my manuscript still isn't working.

(first posted in a slightly simplified format on mastodon).

[wouldnt-it-be-hilarious-if-i]

New additions to the Reading List (Judaism edition)

currently listening to: mirrorball by taylor swift

Okay.

So, I'm currently reading Woke Antisemitism by David L. Bernstein and definitely realizing I can't avoid reading about Israel and Zionism if I want to understand anything about this topic on a genuine level. The book is super interesting, and I think it's a great read with a lot of very hot takes that are definitely at times a bit...questionable at first but if you hear him out, the points do make a lot of sense. I'm not talking about the antisemitism points, which I already agreed with. But some of his takes on white privilege, black culture, and feminism are a bit interesting.

One topic does keep coming up in the book, likely because it's very important. While I understand the points that he's making about how anti-Zionism, while not inherently antisemitic (from what I understand, like I said, I still need to do research), is often used as a vehicle for pretty blatant antisemitism on the left. He also talks a lot about how the left allows antisemitism to run rampant because of some of the topics I named above, and I actually agree with him. I can definitely see how an oppressor/oppressed hierarchy leaves out a lot of grey areas that Jews would historically fall into. It's an interesting take, and I'm glad to read it and get closer to understanding a bit about what it must feel and be like to be Jewish today. Obviously, this is only one man's opinion, but I do value every opinion I read because it matters to me that I read about this from every angle that I possibly can so that I am well-informed on how to be a better ally. To add to that, this man isn't just some guy. He's extremely qualified to speak on these issues, not just because he's a Jewish person living in the world today experiencing these issues, but because of his education and experience as well.

In 2016, He was President and CEO of the Jewish Council for Public Affairs (JCPA), Executive Director of The David Project ( from August 2010 to September 2014, and held senior roles with the American Jewish Committee (AJC). During his undergrad at Ohio State studying Philosophy and Jewish studies (he later goes on to get his masters in International Relations), he served on the National Jewish Student Leadership Board and was a huge pro-Israel activist on campus. Just after undergrad, he worked with the Jewish Community Relations Council of Greater Washington. It goes on an on, and his work has been centrally about progressive values, diversity and inclusion. He has also written tons of articles about antisemitism in the left since at least the 80s, and did a 44 minute interview regarding his book with a talk show.

His book heavily focuses on antizionism being used as a way to be antisemitic in the left, so I'm not even more interested in reading more about this subject than I was before so that I can understand his arguments more critically. I can't really form an opinion on something that I am neither affected by or know very little about, but I can say that his book is an incredibly insightful starting point (so far, I'm only on chapter 5 of 16) for anyone that wants an idea of different things to look into and research independently in order to gain a better understanding of the issues he's discussing (not just Zionism and Israel, but also Jewish life in the United States specifically).

Anyway, online, I found a few videos that explained the Israeli-Palestinian conflict really concisely, but I'd rather read about it a bit more than just depend on a few videos and documentaries on YouTube. I asked my friend about any suggestions she may have, and she told me that Letters to My Palestinian Neighbor by Yossi Klein Halevi was a good one (but warned that it wasn't a great intro book to everything), so I've added it to my list.

With that, here are a few books I found that (tentatively) seem to explain some things. I really want to have a well-rounded view of this subject, so I'm looking for books that discuss Israel and Palestine from all sides of the conflict. In this list, I'll separate Zionist related books from books that have to do with Israel, because from what I understand the two get conflated often even though they aren't interchangeable (as in the terms 'Jew', 'Israeli' and 'Zionist' are not often used today to mean their respective definitions, but rather the same thing, which they are not).

These books are a mixture of like textbook explanations and narrative accounts, since I like to get an idea of both the academic aspect of sensitive issues like this and the personal accounts from real people who are experiencing these things or who believe in specific things.

Books about Israel/Palestine and the conflict

Letters to My Palestinian Neighbor by Yossi Klein Halevi

Jerusalem: The Biography by Simon Sebag Montefiore

The Hundred Years' War on Palestine: A History of Settler Colonialism and Resistance, 1917–2017 by Rashid Khalidi

The Lemon Tree: An Arab, a Jew, and the Heart of the Middle East by Sandy Tolan

The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine Hardcover by Ilan Pappe

Stealing the Atom Bomb: How Denial and Deception Armed Israel by Roger Mattson

Blood Brothers: The Dramatic Story of a Palestinian Christian Working for Peace in Israel by Elias Chacour

Israel: A Simple Guide to the Most Misunderstood Country on Earth by Noa Tishby

Palestine 1936: The Great Revolt and the Roots of the Middle East Conflict by Oren Kessler

Books about Zionism

My Promised Land: The Triumph and Tragedy of Israel by Ari Shavit

Zionism: A Very Short Introduction by Michael Stanislawski

A Short History of Christian Zionism: From the Reformation to the Twenty-First Century by Donald M. Lewis

A History of Zionism: From the French Revolution to the Establishment of the State of Israel by Walter Laqueur

Notes:

I mostly chose the Short History of Christian Zionism so that I can examine my own bias in regard to Israel. I come from a conservative-lite, Catholic/Baptist, German (and African)-immigrant family, so when I was growing up, the only thing I learned about Israel was that it rightfully belonged to the Jews and was given to them after the Holocaust because of their suffering. My mom really stressed to me as a child and teenager that this was promised land.

That being said, I never learned anything about Palestine, or the conflict. A large portion of this was explained to me when I was like ten. If I did learn anything about Palestine, I think it was usually along the lines of, "Well, some people don't believe that, and they're very mad about it." Very they can stay mad sort of energy.

Now, this was my family's opinion. If I'm being honest, I didn't care one way or the other when this was explained to me as a child. But I did think, since this was the only real contact I had with the subject, that it was nice that Jews got to have Israel after so much suffering, and that they were very deserving of it since the Holocaust was so horrific. So, this was my thinking for many years until, honestly, I think when I got to college and met actual Muslims and Jews. At that point, I was actually incredibly shocked to learn that there was a whole conflict, it wasn't half as simple as it had been explained to me, and that conservative families straight up do not prepare their children for any real world understanding of international relations.

Anyways, so now here I am playing catch up to the rest of the world, per usual.

The title for The Hundred Years' War on Palestine: A History of Settler Colonialism and Resistance, 1917–2017 by Rashid Khalidi interests me because of the use of the words "settler colonialism." In a quick google search, I found that one argument is that "Jewish Israelis are 'settlers' who want to conquer more and more Palestinian land." I have no idea if this is true, but the term used in the title is a big part of why it's on the list, because you can immediately tell what the author's stance is and how the book may be framed. I chose My Promised Land: The Triumph and Tragedy of Israel by Ari Shavit for similar reasons.

As I've said many times, I know very little about this and have no personal opinions about it as a result (meaning that I literally am not neutral, for or against anything rn because I need to do more research. My goal is just to understand rn.), so any titles that I choose are purely because of the reviews, popularity of the books, and/or any possible bias that I can detect naturally rather than from any real understanding of the issue. That's also why I chose a book on Christian Zionism as well, because I'm interested in how Evangelists have affected this issue as well and want to make sure I fully understand the thinking behind what I was taught as a child. Quite a few of the books I've chosen written by Israelis appear to be rather biased as well, so I think I'll be learning a lot historically and politically about this topic in such a way that I'll be able to really understand a lot of it from many different points of view.