#i'm losing my mind today was a shit show

[allpossibilities]

today at work i had explain what a phone call is to women in their late 40s. but i'm home, and i will be here screaming shortly. please send help.

[the-casbah-way]

i HATE you kamala harris i HATE you donald trump i HATE you liberals i HATE you republicans i HATE you america. god bless

[wisemins]

Also a bit of a self-ship update so i started watching the b.ear....... yeah i have a few issues to say the least

ofc with a normie show that i don't watch like a normie. I sobbed at the first season's finale. and ofc there's another jon ber.nthal brother figure i can pick up LMFAIODSJFHIUAGS I WILL NEVER CHANGEEEE

[spencerrreiddd]

Three, Two, One. - Chapter 1

Summary: You and Spencer have worked in the BAU together for years, since the beginning but now, he's your boss and something quite big is happening in your life & soon to be Spencer's life after needing each others help to unwind.

Pairing: UnitChief!Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

WC: 3.3k

Warnings: Pregnancy, Angst, Cheating??

A/N: LOW & BEHOLD- here lays my first beauty. - my apologies is this is complete shit, I have not written in a while & I may have to get my special touch back. - anyways, i hope you guys like it ! 🔪🤍

Three, Two, One. Chaper 2.

three, two, one-

pregnant.

You were pregnant. You were pregnant with your bosses baby.

Spencer has not always been your boss, you actually started working for the BAU a month before he had even started working there.

He took over Emily's position once she moved up to FBI Director a few months back, at that congratulations party is when something sparked between you and Spencer- just, neither of you acted on it

You remember exactly how and when it happened too, it was the party after his promotion to Unit Chief. Goddamn promotion parties. You didn’t think you drank that much, until you woke up naked beside your new boss.

The temptation to pack a bag and hop on a flight across the world sounded so appetizing right now in your mind, too bad that it isn't realistic & you were going to have to face the facts and that was including, him.

There was never any “no speaking of this” - only us meeting up at my apartment, his apartment, our hotel rooms when we were on a case and needed to ‘unwind’ - the last time you and Spence had even slept together was 2-3 weeks ago anyway, of course when y'all needed to unwind after a case. Who could've guessed that one?

You were snatched from your thoughts when you heard your phone ringing from your bedroom- running for it, you were hoping that it wasn't Spencer.

‘Penelope Garcia 🖥️💖🍩’ 'thank the heavens' you silently think to yourself

“What’s up, Penny”

“Spencer is busy, he put me on duty to call you to find out if you plan to show your face at work today, ya know- since it is a work day and no show, no calls are frowned upon here" Your neck snaps to look at your alarm clock.

"Also, he wants to see you in his office once you get here"

7:32 A.M - have I seriously been staring at a positive pregnancy test for an entire hour?

“Fuck. See you soon. I'm leaving right now"

The short drive to work felt longer than it should have, probably because you took back roads to avoid having to see him again so soon. If you were already running late, what is a few extra minutes?

So many thoughts flying through your mind. How are you going to tell him? Oh hey, by the way, ya knocked me up so what’s the plan bud?!

“I'm doomed" You mutter to yourself getting out of your vehicle to go face reality, to go face the man of your now growing child. This has to be a nightmare.

Getting off of the elevator, the first person you saw was Alvez- boy, you were thankful that it wasn't Spencer, even though you'd be seeing him in just a few minutes.

"Looks like you saw a ghost"

"Yeah, Luke, something like that"

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not right now, I just want to forget about it- I need to see Pen" yeah, Y/N, like you'll actually be able to forget about it.

You make a beeline directly for Penelope's office, you have to tell someone about this before you actually lose your mind.

"Pen, I have news and it has to stay between you and I only"

"Your secret is safe with me, my love"

"I'm pregnant.. with Spencer's baby" you hesitated even saying the last part but wow, that felt good to get off of your chest, too bad it won't feel this easy with Spencer. Just thinking of having to tell him has you feeling like someone is choking you out.

"Oh."

"Oh? Pen, I am in a state of panic, a state of shock and you say 'Oh'- I don't know what to even begin to do here or how to even tell Reid that I am carrying his.. spawn"

"Spencer has a girlfriend or did, as far as I kn- okay, when did you find out” She cuts herself after seeing the look of horror on your face after hearing the beginning of her sentence, understandably so!

You were NOT the type of person to sleep with a taken man.

You were confident that you were about to face plant the ground right here and now in Penelope’s office. Did Spencer have a girlfriend or not? And were you about to go physically fight him for doing this to her, if so? You would be considering yourself jobless at that point.

“I found out this morning, literal minutes before you called me to get my ass here” you were in a pure state of panic and you had many good reasons as to why.

“How long has he had a girlfriend, Pen?” you continued- you were sure your skin was blistering with how hot it was at this point. Was it hot out of anger or the panic attack that was charging at you? Who knows anymore because you didn’t care enough in this single second to sit and determine that.

"I don't know, he just mentioned a date a few weeks ago then didn't mention anything again but I know he's still in communication with her and by the contact name in his phone, I don't think they are just friends" Penelope lets you in on all of this, nervously- like she isn't supposed to be saying anything at all.

"Thanks, Pen" You murmur to her her as you leave, you have to leave her office, the longer you are in there, the more it feels like the walls are literally closing in on you.

Walking into the hallway, you don't know which direction to go- You should probably go see Spencer and give him some bullshit excuse as to why you were late.

It was barely 8 A.M, maybe it was past 8 A.M now- your mind is going too fast to try and keep up with time. Regardless, it's too early in the morning to drop a pregnancy announcement on someone.

Finally, you muster up the courage to walk into the bullpen to go on the hunt for Spencer, as much as your mind and body are telling you to just bolt to your car and never look back.

"Tara, do you know where Spencer is?" You ask quietly, so that you don't disturb the others around you

"No, I saw him walk out of his office a few minutes ago but I haven't seen him go back in. If you find him before me, let me know because I need to go over some things with him"

"I'll go knock and see if he's back, thanks Tara"

You can visibly see his blinds are closed but majority of the time they are closed anyways, so that doesn't even matter to you. Walking up the flight of stairs to get to his office is exhausting, it feels like your legs weigh 1000 pounds each.

Standing in front of his office, you hear talking inside- You can very clearly hear a females voice inside talking to him but you honestly couldn't tell if she was over the phone or actually in his office by how muffled it is, it's safe to assume that it is a phone call.

"No going back now since you're already here" You mumble to yourself

Knock, knock, knock

"Come in" You hear a muffled Spencer behind the door

As your opening the door, you quickly hear him state to the woman on the phone 'I have to go, I'll see you tonight' - God, as if you haven't already wanted to run away all morning, it keeps getting worse.

"Pen said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, please sit" He says, gesturing to the chair

"Are you okay, Y/N? - You were late this morning, we've worked together for many years now and you've never once ran late, it's not like you not to communicate" You can see on his face that he cares, he didn't bring you in here to give you a lecture over something small, especially since this is your first time ever running late.

"Y-yes, I just woke up late and then getting to my car, I realized I had a flat, so I had to ask my neighbor to use his pump to fill it" You lied straight through your pearly white teeth and you were confident that he knew it to, just by the look he was giving you

He stares at you for a moment, trying to read you for anything. You were thankful for the fact that sometimes you were an impossible person to read

"Please, just communicate next time- It's not a big deal you were late, we just didn't know what was going on until I had Garcia get a hold of you"

"I will, you have my word- Am I good to go now?" You ask while standing up, yes, the talk went better than expected but you still wanted out of this office as fast as possible.

"Yes, thank you for coming to talk to me. Oh, also before I forget to mention it, at some point today whenever we both have free time, I would like to have a conversation. If it's just at the end of the day that's fine. It just needs to happen"

All you can bring yourself to do is nod your head and walk out of the room, based on the ass end of the phone call you walked in on- You have a pretty good hunch what he will be saying to you, especially after what Garcia also let you in on

It makes your heart ache- knowing that he could have a girlfriend, knowing this thing that the two of you had will be coming to an end, by no means were you and Spencer in a committed relationship but you would be lying to yourself, if you said you hadn't gained feelings for him and actually wanted more than just a 'fuck buddy' outcome

"So, is he up in the office? I really need to see him" Tara asks while already walking up there and away from you before you can even give her an answer.

You know for a fact that you are not going to be able to focus on work at all today even if you try your hardest, your anxiety is skyrocketing through the roof waiting for this conversation with Spencer and still, wondering when and how you are going to spill the beans about carrying his growing child.

"Alright, what is your issue? Are you pregnant?" Alvez is like a brother to you, nothing has been off limits in the talking department but this just sent you for a whole loop with how bluntly he asked.

You were confident that if it were possible, your eyes would've popped right out of their sockets and into your lap.

"Alvez, I am not discussing this with you right now" you whisper yelled to him, you didn't mean to come off like a bitch at all but god only knows who could've heard him.

"Well, Y/N, If I am being entirely honest. Penelope lets some things slip from time to time" He states like it's the most obvious thing ever.

All you can seem to do is look at him like a dear in the headlights, you feel your skin getting hot and prickly, it feels like there are someones hands around your throat squeezing harder and harder by the second.

"I have to go, I need to go home, I need air" It all comes out in a panic, you get up from your desk and bolt out of the bullpen and down the stairs, you don't even care to take the elevator. You cannot be stuck in a tight spot right now, a tight spot like an elevator.

"Please, just communicate" - "I will, you have my word" the conversation in Spencer's office goes through your mind and you know that you have to communicate with him that you just left work for the day and you don't plan to come back today, atleast- you couldn't and thankfully, it was Friday.

to: Spencer 'The Genius' Reid

'I have to excuse myself for the day, I'm sorry that I am having to send you a text message about this rather than coming to your office- this is me communicating with you. I will return back to my work duties on Monday, unless of course, a case pops up over the weekend then I will be here'

'also, I know we need to have a conversation, I also have something I need to tell you- let me know when you would like this conversation to take place' -

After sending your texts to Spencer, you set your phone on DND because at this point, you don't want to deal with anything or anyone else today, emergency or not.

Driving home was an entire blur, I mean you made it home alive, so that's what matters, I guess.

Walking inside, you plop onto the couch and turn on your favorite comfort show.. Modern Family.

A few hours later, you wake up in the exact place you laid down at- you thought your couch was so comfy until now when your entire body is in pain.. well, maybe it was your horrible sleeping position.

5:13 P.M -

"sweet baby jesus on a motorbike" You mutter to yourself after looking at the clock

"what are you doing to me?" You ask while poking your non-existent baby bump, granted it was a great sleep so you weren't trying to complain- you had heard from JJ in the past that early pregnancy is exhausting and you will sleep.. ALOT.

**BACK AT THE BAU**

"I just practically asked her if it was true but maybe in a more blunt way, it wasn't meant to come out so.. blunt" Alvez explains to Penelope who apparently watched you sprint out of work.

"I specifically told you not to say anything to her about it, I didn't even mean to let it slip to you of all people, Luke. I don't even think that they were in a relationship which makes this so much more difficult for her, as I could imagine" Pen snaps back at Luke.

"It's not going past me, I'm not opening my mouth to anyone about it" Luke says while walking to the Elevator with Pen, finally the work day was over

"Yeah, you let it slip to someone or who knows, I accidentally do again and Spencer is going to find out which right now, that doesn't need to happen" Pen states while being wildly unaware of who just came up behind them

"What doesn't Spencer need to find out right now and why can't he find out right now?" He asks from directly behind Alvez and Garcia, looking between the two of them for a answer.

Luke and Penelope both seem to jump straight out of their skin, not expecting to be crept up on- in reality, it was not Spencer's plan to creep up on them, he just happened to be leaving at the exact time as them and they didn't hear him coming up in the middle of their 'supposed to be' private conversation that was happening out in the open.

"I- uh it's nothing, well, sir, it's nothing in regards to me, i'm fine- it's not my place to tell you, it wasn't my place to tell, Luke- it just slipped and I am blabbering and I just realized that I need to get home" Before Spencer or Luke could say anything to her or anything more to Spencer, she's in the elevator with the doors closing.

'Nice Penelope, real nice' Luke thinks to himself, feeling a bit annoyed and slightly scared

Turning to look behind him, he sees Spencer's eyes boring right into him like he's staring right into Luke's soul, just waiting and searching for answers.

"Is there anything that you know, Alvez?" Spencer finally breaks the silence, otherwise who knows how long the two of them would've stayed standing there in the awkward paralyzing silence.

"I just know Y/N had to leave early today because, well I don't know why but I just know she left- you're her boss too, she should've communicated with you, right?"

"Right, Luke and she did, I have been trying to text and call her since I received her messages and nothing is going through" Reid is quick to bite back, getting quite annoyed himself being left in the dark and now that he is adding the pieces together, he's assuming these secretive things that "he isn't allowed to know about currently" are about you.

"I don't have any other information, what I told you is all I know- but I do need to get home to Roxy" Luke matter-of-factly states even though Luke knows that Luke is lying, well- not about Roxy but about the first part.

"Mhm, alright. Have a good night, Luke" Spencer gave up on trying to get any information out of the turnips that don't bleed but he is confident when he says this is about you and he will get to the bottom of it.

Back at your apartment, you've finally relaxed after a nice hot shower and ordering from your favorite chinese food joint and yes, still watching your comfort show but this time from the comfort of your own bed.

You still haven't even taken your phone off of DND mode, in your mind all you thought was 'if it is important enough, you know where I live and if you don't, contact Penelope Garcia' and the most important part, you were at peace.

You weren't worried about this pregnancy, you had accepted your fate, you weren't worried about Spencer or his new situ-relationship, you weren't even worried about what had happened with Alvez or Garcia. Peace.

"jesus Spencer, what the fuck" You yell out after walking out of the room and coming face to face with him, to say that you were startled was to say the absolute least

"Well, you would've known I was coming if someone didn't have their phone on airplane mode" He bit back with a darkness in his eyes and maybe a bit of worrisome, you couldn't tell everything with how dark it was.

"I know that I gave people a key to my house for emergencies but our conversation or how I was protecting my peace on a Friday night is not an emergency and frankly, if anyone was that worried, you would've sent someone sooner" You were once again fed up and wanted to continue to be alone with your favorite person, Phil Dunphy.

"I was going to drop our conversation until this weekend or even Monday, when we see each other in person again but funny enough, I was walking out to leave for the day when I walked into Luke's and Penelope's conversation and it was about you and something that I shouldn't be finding out about right now- would you happen to know anything about that?" Spencer replied, getting more and more fed up by the second.

If Spencer didn't know any better, he would say that you looked like you just saw a ghost- he was dead on the money about the conversation and some secret rooting back to you- now to just get it out of you.

Calming down after seeing the state you were rushing into, he comes to you with a softer approach - "Y/N, I want to help you. We've known each other for years, since I started working for the BAU, please let me know. Let me know what is going on. I'm not going anywhere"

You felt like you were about to up-chuck your chinese food all over this poor man, you know you need to tell him.

'Y/N you will never know the outcome of this unless you open your mouth and spill those words to him, be brave, be bold' You think silently to yourself.

"Spencer, I'm pregnant - You are the last person I slept with. I am pregnant with your baby"

if this is horrible, sue me - i haven't written in forever and honestly, this is a little bit longer than i thought it would be - whoops!

FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED

& yeah, yeah- i left this on a cliffhanger, if you beautiful humans actually like this, i had planned to make this a 2 parter story or who knows, if i make the next part longer then it could be 3 or more parts.

[macknshift]

sophia jean "junior" lawrence . . . cobra kai.

THERE ARE SEVERAL UNIVERSAL TRUTHS. ONE IS THAT JUNIOR LAWRENCE IS UNLUCKY.

if she was lucky, she wouldn’t be living her life stressed out of her tiny little mind. she would be living life like sam larusso. she would be happy and functional and normal. instead, her dad is trying to live out his karate dreams with this guy that she met at school, (that she may or may not have a crush on,) and she feels this unease about all of it. she knows she’s not a fighter, but her dad really, really wants her to be. she’s a runner, and she’s damn good at it. it’s almost like it’s her dad’s fault.

2 YEARS LATER . . . and she’s still running. she hasn't picked up a lick of courage in her two years training in karate, and now her dad’s weirdo old sensei is back, and she feels like she’s literally spinning every time she sees miguel diaz. she’s not cobra kai. she never was, even with the championship title, and now she doesn’t feel like an ‘eagle fang’ either. it leaves her with a pain in her gut knowing that she’s not what anyone around her wants. she knows what she is, and her dad won't like it. noone will.

cobra kai → eagle fang → miyagi do. born 02/04/02. 5 foot 9. high school senior. twin of robby keene, daughter of johnny lawrence. 2019 all-valley girls champ. aquarius, infp, 6w5. best friend of demetri alexopoulos, "rival" of sam larusso.

soundtrack of my life . . . orange juice , noah kahan. nobody's soldier , hozier. idfc , blackbear. honest , the neighbourhood. come back for me , jaymes young. i bet on losing dogs , mitski.

SOME HOUSEKEEPING!

⤿ johnny is not an alcoholic idc. he took one look at himself when he started to drink and knew he didn't want to be like that for me. so u know. he was at one point (around the time i was born) but he got his shit in check when he remembered he had a kid to feed.

⤿ shannon took robby & johnny took me in this weird, fucked-up little "well we have two kids so one of us gets one and one gets the other" agreement. robby & i are aware of the others' existence but don't know any actual details about each other (like name, where they live, etc.)

⤿ i have to be very aware when i say that i made this dr when i was 18. i still choose to shift to it now as a 21 year old bc i want to, and i know ppl might have strong opinions on that, esp bc i do have miguel as my love interest, but i've been watching the show since i was 17, almost wrote a fanfic before discovering shifting (i might still write that fanfic!!) but you are open to feel any way about this. so. yeah. rlly only writing this bc shifttok has had fits w me in the past but whatever.

⊹ ࣪ ˖₊˚⊹⋆ posting this today bc it is robby and i's 23rd (crazy work) birthday!!! this is one of like. 4 drs my birthday isn't 1/29 so. had to post this in honor 😁😁 i looove this dr so dearly (and miguel, he's been my man since 2021...xolo maridueña HMU!!!!!) even though it's lowkey the most . . . complicated of my drs (aka i deal with a lot of shit & happen to be lowkey v unhappy for a bit of it LMFAOOOO) but i made it at 18 and i was not in a good place but i'm too attached to change anything ab it lol 😭😭 also i am lowkey serving lizzie young but that's beside the point

[oppopotamus]

Shoe riding

gojo satoru x top male reader

Warning: nsfw, gojo has a pussy, shoe riding, face slapping (like once), name calling (slut, baby, sweetheart etc), face riding, face sitting, sending nudes, kind of mean reader??

Satoru had always been a little shit, that much was known but nobody knew how much of a tease he was.

Satoru had one of his very few 'free days' where he can take time off of work, it was very rare for Satoru to ever get any sort of break.

Usually you take time off of work to spend it with Satoru since you don't get to see him that much.

Though unfortunately, you were called into work late as it was understaffed and many we're sick and you were the last resort basically.

Satoru begged you to stay, saying he'd do absolutely anything. Whether that be paying you for the next week until you got your next paycheck, or by doing something a little bit more... Scandalous.

You were extremely tempted to take that offer but your boss had threatened you that you'd lose your job if you took yet another day off.

So, you had no choice but to go in.

Satoru was feeling grumpy as he walked around your shared house, he just wanted to lounge around in bed all day with you!

I mean, he's plently rich enough to pay for both of you but you insisted that you didn't want him paying for everything.

Satoru finally had an amazing idea. Well, amazing to him atleast.

Satoru stood infront of the full length mirror that stood in your bedroom. He was wearing nothing but the pretty white lingerie you had brought him a while back which he never really got to wear, thought today he was going to show you how much he loved the gift.

Satoru got his phone camera ready and started taking pictures, many, many pictures. He posed in ways he knew would get your attention and posed in ways he didn't even know how he did!

Just to show you how flexible he was, of course.

Satoru selected the pictures he had thought were the best, all in the lingerie he hadn't taken any nude selfies. Not yet atleast.

He finally sended them to you, he didn't know if you would reply or even if you would see the message.

When you get a text on your phone from the one and only Satoru Gojo you think it's important enough to open.

Once you open them your calm demeanor disappears and you cough to avoid suspicion.

"Are you quite alright, (Name)?" One of your coworkers asks, "Yes, perfectly fine. Just got a bit of a cough."

"Don't you think you should head home then?" Another nosy coworker asks after listening in on your conversation as per usual with them. All your coworkers were very nosy people.

"Ah, boss wouldn't let me head home even if I asked." You said sadly, the photos would not get out of your head. Gojo in all those pretty poses, just begging for you to take him.

You try and shake the thoughts out of your head and attempt to think of something different in hopes your red face would disappear.

"Your face is burning up! (Name), you should really head home. If the boss doesn't let you leave I'll give him a piece of my mind!" The lady you we're just talking to before says.

"Ah, thank you very much but there's no need. I'm sure I'll be fine." You say, before you get another text from Gojo.

This time he's posed so he's sitting on the ground with his legs spread and facing the mirror so you can see everything through the thin fabric of the lingerie.

The photo had been sent with a text below it simply saying, 'come take it off for me?'

Oh god, you were in trouble. You could feel your pants start to get tighter. You don't know how you can even attempt to keep your cool now.

As if on que, your boss comes strolling in asking you where you've been and that you need to report to his office at once to approve some documents.

You're about to follow before a coworker pipes up saying, "He is much to sick, sir! (Name) can absolutely not work in these conditions!"

"I second that! If you don't excuse (Name) from work I'll take it to the higher ups and report you for not letting a sick employee go home." Another coworker says firmly.

You can almost see veins popping out of his head in anger so your boss decided it would just be easier to send you home than having to deal with the higher ups.

"Fine! (Name)... You're free to go home." Your boss says, you can sense the anger coming from him so you quickly pack up your things, saying a small 'thank you' to your coworkers who helped you out.

You're just getting into your car as you get another message from Gojo with yet another photo.

This time the image is of him still with he legs spread except he has moved the lingerie so it shows off his pretty pussy.

Fuck. This man is going to be the death of you.

You send him a message saying 'I'm coming home now. You've been bad, Satoru. Get ready.'

You can practically see Satorus scared face through the screen.

You start your car and head back home, once there you park the car and head to open the door.

You stop in the front entrance and take off your blazer and hang it on the coat rack.

You head up to the bedroom door and open it. "I'm home, Satoru-" You don't finish your sentence before you stop and stare in wonder of how pretty Satoru is.

Satoru's sitting down on the bed, patiently waiting there with his knees under him.

You walk over to him, standing above the bed with your tall height towering over him. You bring a hand out to cup his chin and raise it so he's staring right at you.

"Such a pretty boy. Aren't you, 'toru?" You ask, though you get no answer back. "So very pretty. Too bad you're such a brat." You spit out the last words and raise a hand across his cheek, slapping him. Not enough to really hurt but enough to make him gasp from shock.

Gojo whimpers as you drag him forward, he has to put his hands out to stabilise himself so he doesn't fall off the bed.

"Just a slut, aren't you? Can't even wait a few hours for me to come home. You just had to interfere with my work."

"M'sorry.." Gojo says in response, he's not really sorry at all. He loves the way you act when you get this way.

He'd do it all over again and you know he will, whenever that may be. He's just too much of a slut.

"On your knees." You say gesturing to the side of the bed where you currently stand.

You turn around and sit down on the bed as Gojo scrambles to sit down infront of you.

Once he's sitting on his knees infront of you, you gesture for him to move forward. He does so he's awkwardly sitting there between you legs, he begins reaching out to your crotch before you stop him.

"No, sweetheart. I want you to ride my shoe. I'm not helping you get off today, you've already interrupted my day enough."

Satoru gulps at that and hesitates before he sits atop one of your shoes.

"Like this?" Satoru asks, "Yeah, just like that, baby. Good job." You smile down at him and Gojo suddenly feels proud, as if he's such a good boy, just for you.

Satoru finally starts moving, moaning out as his clit comes in contact with your shoe. He moves forwards and back again, it's not nearly as pleasurable as when you touch him.

He has no idea whether this will make him cum or not. He feels good but it doesn't feel quite enough.

"P..Please.. Need- Ah!" Satoru moans out as he ruts back and forth on your shoe, getting it dirty with his wetness.

"Hm? Tell me what it is you need." You say down at him as you play with his hair while he moves faster and faster against your shoe.

"C-can't." He says shaking his head side to side fastly while he shuts his eyes tightly so he can't see you looking down at him. You know that he will get a headache if he keeps doing that so you grab his chin and force him to look up at you.

"Look at me and tell me what it is you need, baby." You command. He finally cracks his eyes open and looks up at you.

"Need you..." He says, "I'm right here, sweetheart. Tell me what you want me to do okay?" You say while smiling down at him.

"P-please.. Want you to touch me."

"But I'm already touching you, baby. See? You're humping my foot like some dog."

"No.. I mean-" You cut Satoru off and grab his chin tighter, causing him to squeak in surprise.

"You've been such a little slut today, you know? I don't think you deserve to have your way. I think you should just sit there and do what I say. Understood?" Satoru whined at the harsh words but nods anyways, continuing to grind on your shoe.

He lets out groans and whimpers but he soon realizes that just humping your shoe is not nearly enough to get him off.

He wants you touching him, with your hands or for you to have his cock inside him, stretching him open till he cries from pleasure and pain.

Though apparently that's not going to happen today and it makes him whine.

He pleads and begs you, he doesn't even know what he's saying anymore, he's just spewing out words.

You reach down and yank his hair back, he yelps in pain and grips your leg tightly.

"Please!" He whines out, moving faster trying to chase that release he so desperately wants.

You sigh, "Fine, come up here." You say moving back on the bed and lay down.

He crawls up with a dazed smile on his face, and straddles you.

"C'mere baby." You say grabbing his hips and pulling him up to sit on your face. Satoru hesitates for a moment before lowering himself down.

"Ah!" He moans out as you move your tongue inside him. He grinds down on your face, you feel his juices spreading across your face as he moves back and forth.

Satoru moans out as he feels his release finally creeping up.

He's not going to last long, he knows he's going to cum any second. Riding your shoe made him get so close but not nearly far enough.

He repeats your name over and over, getting so close to his release. His clit rubs over your nose while you tongue at his hole.

You're starting to get slightly light headed with him on your face but you know it's not going to be much longer until he cums so you're not worried.

"(Name)! I'm gonna- Oh god-" Just before he finishes his sentence he's squirting all over your face, wetting it.

He sits and breathes heavily for a moment until he calms down and rises off of your face.

"Haah.. Thank you.." He says, looking down at you with a dumb smile on his face.

[doukeshi-kun]

I like that one scene when stalker!kolya was being teased by his darling in the part2.

It is indeed fun to tease him

𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙚𝙧!𝙣𝙞𝙠𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙞 + 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙞𝙢

replies ⨳ i love teasing stalker!nikolai too mueheh enjoyy

content ⨳ nikolai gogol x fem!reader, some n/sfw, teasing, obsessive (and pervy) thoughts, just the usual stalker!nikolai and reader's dynamics

“Yes, I know, Erika. But the financial reports for the last several months have shown that Funhouse 16 is barely visited and has suffered quite a loss. It performed very badly compared to others. It is better to demolish it and change to a new one than renovate it again.” Nikolai says, wanting to roll his eyes annoyed. Currently, he is on a video call with his staff, sitting at his working desk in his cramped campervan. The reason why he stays here instead of going to the main tent and directly facing his staff is because you are in his campervan now. He doesn't want to leave you alone.

It has been over an hour and Nikolai still has more to go through. He wants to spend time with you, knowing you are lying on his bed, bored and have nothing to do besides waiting for him to finish work. Ah, he feels a little guilty for making you wait. He will surely treat you to a nice dinner as an apology today.

Nikolai could not help but keep glancing at you. His eyes constantly move towards you, staring for a few seconds before he remembers he has to listen to Erika's babbling. Well, could you blame him for losing focus over you? Especially when you are on his bed, gosh, Nikolai wishes he could tie you in his bed and lock you in here forever but that would be too rough for his little bird.

“Sir, what do you think?” one of his staff calls. Nikolai turns to the camera, barely remembering what the hell is going on but the mindless notes he jotted on his own paper helps him to respond professionally.

“Well, to be fair, this...” his words falter a bit when he hears shifting noises from his left. He tries to focus again and continues to give his insight, but his curious eyes cannot help to look at you.

Nikolai feels like his breath is getting ripped away instantly.

You are on his bed, completely topless, your bra is on the pillow as you are wearing one of his shirts that you took from his bundle of clothes—he doesn't even have the time to fold them. But Nikolai certainly sees your tits and your soft tummy and your ribs and your back and your—

“Sir?”

“Ah— Uh, where the hell was I?” Nikolai asks and he hears Erika's voice. However, his attention is on you. There is a subtle playfulness on your face when you take off the shirt again, completely baring your naked upper body to Nikolai before you crawl to reach another t-shirt of his.

His face is blushing. His cock is hard. His stomach feels funny. His chest is heavy and surely he finds it harder to breathe. It is not the first time he sees you naked but he still loses his shit when he sees just a bit more of your skin. Lust erupts and his love blossoms again.

“Just a minute—” Nikolai mutes his microphone and turns off his camera and looks at you. You turn to him too with a grin. Ahh, that fucking grin when you teased him a few months back after his circus show, asking for his signature on your boobs.

“You're killing me, sweetheart.”

“What? I'm getting sleepy, so I just want to prepare for a nap. Nobody likes to sleep with a bra on and in an uncomfy blouse.” you reply, puffing the pillow. Nikolai's eyes trail to your bra and your blouse that are scattered on his bed. He wants to steal them. He wants to keep them in his possession. He wants to add them to his collection. He will buy a new one and he will steal it again after you wear it. Please, please, please.

“You're saying my shirts are comfortable for you?” Nikolai smirks and you shrug your shoulders. The shirt you wear is quite thin and as much as he wants to not be a pervert, his mind already wanders.

“Comfy enough. And I look cute in it,” you chuckle, running your hands on your breasts just to get him worked up. And oh, he did. Nikolai takes off his headphones and gets up, eyes hungry, licking his lips.

“No.”

And he stops when you place your foot on his chest, slowly pushing him back to sit on his chair. You trail your foot down his torso and lightly brush his boner before you pull away quickly as Nikolai tries to catch your ankle.

“You have work. Go to work."

“No way. Can't you fucking see how hard I am?” he whines. “I'm gonna end the meeting now.”

“No, Kolya. You already complained to me that you have a lot of work and you want to finish it today. So, do your work.”

Nikolai looks at you and bites his lips in frustration. Well, he cannot really argue with you. He knows he will obey you one way or another and you know how devoted he is to please you. He, frustratingly, turns himself to his laptop again. However, before he could prepare for the meeting again with a raging boner under his pants, he sees you getting off the bed and scoots to him.

And there, you sit on the floor, right next to his legs. You lean your head between his thighs, yawning. And Nikolai's hand instinctively places itself onto your head, caressing your hair gently.

“Uh-uh, no touching. But well... I take it back,” you yawn again. “This feels nice. Makes me feel sleepier.” your murmur, leaning your head directly on his clothed cock. And Nikolai has to hold himself back, cussing under his breath.

He will tug your hair and force his cock in your throat later, but for now, he will play nice.

©doukeshi-kun 2024 — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, more @/cherikolya

if you like my works, consider buy me a ko-fi!

[its-time-to-write]

masterlist

i figured it was time to make one. it's in order based on when i wrote it. please, please let me know if a link is broken/mislabeled!!

*82 fics*

All of these are Jamie Tartt x reader

dress

Jamie and Keeley buy you a dress for the benefit gala

three times 'cause i've waited my whole life

secret relationship to engagement

you're losing me

first kid

don't make this any harder

Jamie wants to take you to Brazil, you’re both idiots

would hit him in a heartbeat now

Your ex boyfriend is a footballer and also a douche

silent sleepers

Jamie contemplates your relationship on the team bus

what it is

Jamie is sick ft. Roy

don't go wasting your emotion

Secret relationship + you own a bookshop! Ft. Roy and Keeley

you know, you'll always know me

You’re a famous singer! Congrats!

i don't know how you keep smiling/i'm just choking almost constantly

Jamie’s dad is a douche

i'll still be right next to you my dear

Jamie is a dad

can't really say i'm enjoying it now

Yikes it’s a breakup fic, but happy endings only in this house

mine of you with me

Reader and Jamie go semi-public with their relationship

today's a day like any other

The Tartt family thru the years

there's orange juice in the kitchen

Oof ouch period cramps

i can't breathe without you

Nate kisses you w/o consent

damned if i do give a damn what people say

You’re a theater actress! How exciting!

island made of faith

People think Jamie’s dumb, and he’s not

take your time while you're mine

You’re Roy’s other sister ft. all the Kents

honey, i'll give you all my time

Vienna. Enough said.

feeling fragile can't you tell

Jamie gets hurt

wrote all your lines in the script in my mind

Oh no! Some girl kissed Jamie and it wasn’t you! + Colin as the bff

stick together like glitter

Babysitting Phoebe + angst

your mind is not your friend

Angst + comfort after you have a bad hookup

chasing shadows in a grocery line

You’re pretty sure you have a hot stalker

don’t go yet

Tee hee protective Jamie at a club

kicking myself to keep from crying

The morning after your mind is not your friend

i think we could do it if we tried

High school sweethearts reunited after 6 years🥺

i’m glad you exist

You and Jamie go to a wedding

send for me

BREAKING: shit day at work made better by local boyfriend

tell me where to put my love

day off = food + snuggles

bored

The longest angst I’ve ever written. Def not the best angst I’ve ever written.

would it be enough if i never gave you peace

you’ve got baby fever and your pretty sure it’s going to kill your brother

wishing on every one

You own a flower shop. It’s adorable.

lyrical eyes, indigo smile

Bea meets the team for the first time!

something to rely on

You storm the pitch and smooch your bf

flipped the script

Enemies to lovers slow burn (or maybe fast burn, idk)

i fancy you

London Boy by ms. T. Swift

you don’t want to know me

Jamie shows up at your door after s.1 Man City

you’re in the kitchen humming

Post-Mom City

family that i chose

For the child-free girlies!

never wanted you to hate me

Pt. 2 of you don’t want to know me

wonderstruck

BFF Keeley tells you to give her awful ex a chance

in love with an idea

idk it’s like a confession of love? kinda cute

sinking into your worn-out mattress

Touch-deprived therapist! reader

you’re a mansion with a view

just two footballers doing an England promo, nothing to see here

i know what i’m doing

Post-Roy/Jamie locker room hug after Man City

wonder what it’d be like

Jamie tries to win you back

if only love were true

You’re a single mom in dire need of a plus-one

i know now it’ll pass

It’s hard to love someone when you’ve been told you don’t deserve it

the way it goes

The Greyhounds are protective of Jamie

how to love being alive

Idk this one’s like whatever and also supes long

there is happiness

GEORGIE GEORGIE GEORGIE

it’s just wanderlust

Relationship soft launch

glitter on the floor

You like to knit. You also think you’re a comedian.

maybe tomorrow you’ll know

The “he’s a prick to everyone but her” trope

hustling for the good life

I swear this is my last chaptered fic

let’s fall in love for the night

Kent!reader is having a baby

soft hands hit the jagged ground

friends w/benefits

for you, there’ll be no more crying

anxiety at work + bf jamie

smile at me

there was only one bed!!!!

slow motion double vision in rose blush

happy b-day Jamie Tartt

half-moon eyes

it’s just a question!

can’t hear my thoughts (i cannot hear my thoughts)

I’m allowed to write what i want, ok???

here in my arms

more Kent!reader + a baby named George

coffee at midnight

prick coach wakes you up bc of your prick boyfriend

healing me fine

Just a lil engagement fic for ya

i don’t know anything

if you’re interested in Bea

right words at the right time

It’s a wedding fic

move fast and keep quiet

boxer!reader + smitten Jamie

not saying you’re in love with me

You meet over Bantr!!!

we could be so good

Jamie comforts you after a bad date

i hold it like a grudge

i don’t even know how to describe this one but u might cry

there for you

sick fic

before you go

physio!reader

you’ll probably date her

chronic illness + childhood friends. gotta love it

feel it burn

Gym anxiety

play it back

Old movies of bb Jamie

ours

Thanksgivinggggg

light in the hallway

MORE Kent!reader

stuck by you

Bad family + good Jamie = fic

please don’t be

five chapters of sadness that definitely isn’t based on personal experience

[manatee-rp-memes]

Drawfee and Secret Sleepover Society Sentence Starters Part 2

~Feel free to tweak as needed~

"At this point, evolve into a person or, like, give up."

"Sometimes my mouth makes noises I didn't tell it to."

"I'm really good at jokes today."

"Damn, I kinda don't care."

"We're a couple of geniuses!”

"I'm the greatest proof that you don't have to be good at art to make art."

"Keep your chin up, sweet king."

"I wish I were a bug and also a dead bug."

"Can you meow as sadly as possible?"

"I'm not stupid, you're stupid!"

"No, we can't start going hog wild."

"Where's your hog wild energy? We're supposed to be throwing caution to the wind!"

"Put on your cool shoes, we're hittin' the town."

"I'm just going to decide I don't care about that."

"He's full of emotions, he can't get off the floor."

"Can we get a proverb?"

"Go up, baldy!"

"Can I take you aside for a second? Can I talk to you for a second in private?"

"You're making me seem like history's greatest piece of shit."

"My favorite part was the surprise key change."

"Looks like it's to the jerk-off pod for me."

"Wow, this already sucks!"

"Where's my wife?!"

"Don't test me, you don't know how sapphic I can be. I've been training with the lesbians for years in the mountains."

"The car lost control because of the water."

"Why did she choose to put all her claws in my leg?"

"I don't dislike you because you're a woman, I dislike you because you're annoying."

"Oh shit, you're right. If you change the words I said to different words it does sound pretty bad."

"How about, um... eat my ass and whole taint? Thanks."

"Do you think that was the right way to treat a friend and coworker?"

"What just happened to me? My vision went white."

"Take this shit seriously."

"Boys~ don't fight over me!"

"Kill your past, become the future."

"If you're gay for one of us, you've got to be gay for all of us."

"What if we kissed in the digital world and we were both girls?"

"I got nothing. My brain broke."

"They don't want to fight, they just want to dance!"

"I wish... I wish we could go back to before."

"What is happening? I feel like I'm losing my mind. Is everyone understanding this except for me?”

“I feel like I've slipped into an alternate dimension where nothing makes sense."

"I didn't know I was here with a bunch of freaking shoobies!"

"I don't hate women, I just looove men!"

"Some of you have never been kissed by a butterfly and it shows."

"Sometimes real art is making lots of mistakes in front of lots of people."

"Look at my disgusting son!"

“‘Fake it til you make it,’ I whisper as I walk out onto the tightrope."

"I always liked the fucked up women."

"They're hittin' the damn doinkus in there."

"I wish my air purifier were next to me right now."

"You must play the bone game."

[danieyells]

idk if this has been brought up before, sorry if it has, and maybe I'm just thinking too hard on this but I keep looking at the official tokyo debunkers Twitter banner and like seeing taiga with that smirk, but then the broken piece has him with a wide eye + the theories of him seeing the future and such got me thinking.. or maybe it's just a cool banner, what do I know LOL

lol i waited until i got home because i had it saved in HQ for reasons that probably won't come to pass off the twitter page on my laptop

I LOVE THIS BANNER it's such a good image and it shows off Taiga's crazy. Taiga is kind of the game mascot atm, interestingly enough. He's the first character you meet, he's the game icon and twitter header, he has some important knowledge of a major plot point. . .you'd think it'd be Kaito since he's kind of your sidekick and the one who teaches you everything at first, but Taiga's got all the impact.

But yeah, either he's losing his mind back there, or he's Seeing Some Shit. The broken gap in the image showing him with wide eyes is very much a little suggestion of 'there is more going on here than you see on the surface' which, admittedly, is kind of the setting of the game('there's more to the world than meets the eye and you're thrown into the world of anomalies common sense would tell you aren't real') but. . .yeah, if you think about Taiga possibly being able to see the future, which is similarly a hidden aspect of him, then the image is even cooler.

I'm honestly getting more and more attached to that theory as time goes on. Because I remembered today at work. . .Taiga doesn't wear gloves with his uniform, unlike with his house outfit.

When the pc is in the torture chair and his hunger is triggered by their blood, he touches them, bare hand to bare skin.

and then suddenly he snaps out of it, suddenly aware that Romeo was coming.

to which I suspect. . .touching the pc caused them to enhance his stigma by accident. This happened to activate it automatically. And he saw the future without meaning to--perhaps in more detail than usual. That's also how he knew exactly where to shoot to hit the like dove--because he saw it fly in in his stigma's vision.

That's also why he said Ritsu could close the casino and he didn't need it.

The whole future he saw was so fucked(again?) and the casino wasn't helping to alleviate or avoid whatever he had made it for, or perhaps was causing more of a problem--it had, after all, spawned a dangerous anomaly. He just sort of lost steam and gave up all of a sudden. Yeah, take it away, we're fucked no matter what we do. (He got better, though. I too overcome my trauma and depression by forgetting things.)

. . .BUT UH YEAH. IT'S A SUPER GOOD BANNER IMAGE THAT SAYS A LOT. I really love it. Taiga is seeing into the code. It is traumatic but when he forgets in 15 minutes he'll be fine.

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine - Chapter twenty: "Maybe I just wanna yours"

Summary: Spencer and his wife can finally put behind the whole Cat fiasco, and start living their "happily ever after"   Word count: 6.127 Warnings: The only warning I can give you right now is that this is the end.  A/N: I can't believe this is actually happening. Thank you all for reading this series, for your comments and support. You have no idea how much it means to me. I love you all!! 

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

Previous chapter

 

(Y/N)’s point of view

I feel like shit for lying to my husband, but I had to outsmart Cat and make her believe she was in charge. The saddest part of all is that by the look in his eyes when I last saw him, he thought everything was true. Prentiss asks me to take Frank and Mikey back to the BAU while the team ambushes Cat’s sidekick. They don’t want us to bump into Cat again, so I have no chance to explain what just happened to Spencer. I must walk away from him and take our friends to the SUV.

Frank and Mikey are about to lose their mind. Their wives are waiting for us as soon as we reach the BAU and only fifteen minutes later, Alvez and Rossi show up with their missing relatives.

I stare at them as they hug and cry, feeling exactly as I didn’t expect to feel on my last day at work: defeated.

It was a win for the team. Everyone was back home safe. But none of those people should have been taken in the first place. They barely knew me, they hadn't done anything wrong. Their only fault had been being family with people related to Spencer and me. I can't help but feel guilty for what they have gone through. If it hadn't been for me, they would have never been kidnapped.

What if Cat is right?

Shit, I never thought I’d say something like that. But that psycho had made a point: people I love will never be really safe ‘cause there can always be a psycho killer out there seeking revenge. Like she had just done. And quitting the FBI wasn’t going to make any difference, she was right about that. We had been part of it for too long. Spencer and I were linked to the BAU for a lifetime, for good and worse.

- “Thank you, nugget.”- Frank’s whisper takes me from my thoughts as he hugs me.- “I’m sorry you had such a shitty last day here.”

- “Don’t apologize for anything. It was because of me that your family was hurt. I'm so sorry, Paco.”- I hide my face in his neck, feeling how my friend hugs me tighter.

- “Don’t be stupid.”- his words aren’t harsh, but he isn’t sugarcoating any thought.- “This wasn’t your fault. Cat Adams is fucking crazy. That’s it.”

- “No, Frank. I could have…”- I find it hard to, so I shut up and feel Frank’s arms tighten around me as he whispers.

- “It wasn’t your fault. She is mental.”- I shake my head and sigh. But before I feel any better, my friend announces Spencer is finally here.

And I don't think I am ready to face my husband. How can I explain to him what just happened? There is so much going on. I feel guilty, tired, and defeated after my last day working with the FBI. But I can not leave him there, thinking I am mad at him.

I turn around to meet his eyes and realize Mikey has moved faster than me. He is already hugging my husband, probably thanking him for saving his family. Mikey's father-in-law shakes Spencer's hand and I just stand here, not knowing how to start to explain what happened today. I know he probably feels worse than I do, and I can not let him think he did anything wrong.

Spencer also looks tired and defeated as he stands on the other side of the room. I have no doubt we both feel pretty similar after the day we had. I let Frank go and stare at my husband. Poor Spencer. He deserved a better goodbye from the BAU. This was not the plan I had for him in my head. I wanted him to leave with his head up high, with a grin on his face, and with a hug from his friends.

When I think of all the terrible things my husband had to go through while he worked here, my heart aches. As soon as I met him, so many years ago, unconsciously I made it my life purpose to keep him from danger and harm and be a friend, a confidant, and his support. I remember being shocked by his sweetness and how he was always so willing to help anyone who needed a hand. He is the best person I've ever met, and the FBI has been nothing but cruel to him.

I think about Gideon and Hotch abandoning him without a proper goodbye. How they also ignored Spencer's struggle to quit Dilaudil, doing absolutely nothing to help him until I stepped up. There's also Emily's fake death, all the unsubs that messed with his mind, like Cat did, the headaches, all the times he got shot and hurt, and everything he went through with his mom. I know I'm not perfect, but I've been with him through all the pain and sorrow this work has caused him. I don't want to imagine how it would have been if I hadn't been there for him. How would he have dealt with everything?

That is why I can not leave him alone right now. No now, not never.

When he sees me from the other side of the room, Spencer stops walking and locks eyes with me. I bite my lips not to cry and just wave. He sighs and stares at me with so much regret and angst, that I can’t take it any longer. I move quickly between the desks and all the people in the room until I am standing before my husband, wrapping my arms around him.

- “I’m so sorry, chipmunk.”- he says as soon as he holds me. His arms feel locked around me so tightly no one could even try to let me go.

- “No, I am so sorry Spencer.”- I mumble against his shirt, where I hide my face. My favorite place to be is against his chest. I feel him chuckling sadly and moving apart so he can look at my face.

- “You have nothing to be sorry for. I am the one who should apologize. Even before that door opened I knew I had failed you. You having to witness it all was just the perfect way Cat had to make sure I would lose everything I love.”

- "Spencer..."- he just cuts my words. His eyes are so concerned, frowning as he stares at me, I can't form another word as I listen to his speech.

- "I shouldn't have kissed her. I'm so sorry, ma cheriè."

- “We need to debrief.”- Prentiss announces as she stands by our side, touching Spencer’s back carefully. He looks at me and I smile, kissing his cheek to try to show him everything is more than ok between us. His puzzled look lets me know he is absolutely lost.

- “What is this?”- he asks as soon as he realizes Frank and Mikey, along with their extended families, stand with us for the debriefing. My poor husband is so shocked he still won't understand there was a plan behind everything that just happened. Of course, I stand by his side, holding his hand tight, trying to assure him everything is ok.

- “We had to think fast.”- Lewis starts explaining, and Luke smiles as he adds.

- “But, we pulled it off.”

- “Pulled what off?”- Spencer asks and turns to me, frowning.

- “Outsmarting Cat, once and for all.”- I reply and kiss his hand- “I’m sorry we had to keep you in the dark about a lot of it, but we knew she would read you in a second.”

Spencer opens his mouth to speak, but no word comes out of it for a few seconds. Simmons, Rossi, and the rest of the team gather around us, along with Frank, Mikey, and their families.

- “When did it all start?”- Spencer asks me, but I just smile as our unit chief starts explaining.

- “It started when your date started.”- Emily clarifies. - “(Y/N) realized Cat had kidnapped your friend’s family and that made it obvious she was doing all this only to hurt you for leaving the team and moving on with your life when hers is about to end.”

- “And when I called Mikey to ask him and Frank to come here, he told me he got a text telling him to go to our old apartment.”- I add and Mikey nods to support my statement.

- “That was just when Cat said she wanted to see your old apartment, which was too much to be a coincidence.”- Matt comments. Spencer frowns and turns to me, still confused, so I nod.

- “The team barely had time to get there and brief your friends before you did.”- Rossi chuckles and looks at Frank.- “You did great kid.”

- “Well, all the anger was real."- Paco replies with a silly grin. I can't believe we can end this day with such a light note.- "After everything we knew that bitch has done to our friends, we were not gonna let her have this one. How can you deal with a maniac like her?”

- “Would you believe me if I tell you we’ve met worse?”- I reply as he stares at me, horrified.

- "Worst than that, Nugget? I don't think so"

- “So we got to your apartment moments before you and Alvez got there.”- Penny resumes the story and we all look at her.- “We gave your friends and your lovely wife earpieces to keep track of everything going on in the room.”

- “We were in communication with the three of them the whole time they were there, so we could feed them what they had to say.”- Emily adds, explaining part of our plan.

- “They are not trained for that!”- but of course, Spencer freaks out, shocked.- “I mean, they had (Y/N) there to help, but it was too risky.”

- “I know, that was my main concern.”- Tara looks at my husband and tries to calm him a little bit because it's obvious he is still hyper-alert, even if we are trying to explain what happened.

- "I wasn't gonna let anyone hurt our friends."- I whisper and squeeze his hand, as Lewis nods and continues explaining.

- “So we needed a strategy. We knew Cat was all about abusive men, so what if (Y/N)’s friendship was already tainted and you were in the dark about it all? We needed them to play along, and you to be honestly surprised when you heard the story.”

- "You... came up with that?"- Spence asks in shock, and I nod.

- "Sort of, actually. We had to... improvise a lot."- I explain and Prentiss adds.

- “That was the tricky part. We had to ask them to improvise and we had no idea what they were gonna come up with.”- Emily continues talking and Spencer looks at Mikey waiting for an explanation, mouth hanging open, incredulity. - “They had to pretend, Spencer, it was either faking anger or faking tears.”

- “I guess they didn’t have to try too hard. Right now I am disgusted with myself.”- my husband whispers and looks down at his feet, ashamed.

- “Let me help you with that part.”- Pen says.- “Cat said to check the medical record, and I did. She had a miscarriage, but it was months later and it had nothing to do with you. That was another lie she said to make you feel terrible and throw you, so I told the guys and the rest of the team this information.”

I look at my husband's face and see how relief washes over his features. Spencer's eyes shine as he corroborates he didn't cause Cat's miscarriage. I keep holding his hand and nod when he looks at me, probably searching for confirmation.

- “What we didn’t expect was what Mikey did next.”- Luke comments and Mikey’s cheeks turn red with embarrassment as his wife holds his hand.

- “I saw a chance and I took it. I just couldn’t let that woman win. No one makes Nugget cry and gets away with it. Not even a psycho killer like her.”

I blush as soon as I hear his words. I have never been fond of feeling people around me are trying to protect me, I like to protect the ones I love. But knowing my friends were there with me on the hardest day of my active service as an FBI agent, and they were willing to help and protect me the way I wanted to protect them, made me feel loved.

Shit, I think I'm getting old.

- “So your brother is not in jail?”- Spencer asks, confused, absolutely lost in the conversation and probably feeling hope for the first time in hours.

- “Nah, he lives in California with his wife and daughter.”- Mikey replies shyly.

- “And I never dated him either.”- I add and hear Frank chuckling immediately.

- “You just had a massive crush on him when we were young.”- of course, that little worm had to bring that up in front of the whole team, my most embarrassing teen memory.

- “We were eleven, Frank!”- I argue, mortified.- “Can we never talk about this again?”

- “And to miss the fulfilling experience of embarrassing you in front of everybody on your last day working here? Never!”- Frank grins and I punch his arm.

- “And you never told me this before? In... fifteen years?”- Spencer asks frowning, but his lips curl in a little smile, letting me know he is not mad, he is glad to know things are not as bad as he thought they were.

- “Don’t be mad with them”- Emily begs- “They had to do what it took to save their families.”

- “How did you know that was going to work?”- my husband asks me- “You could have made up any other story.”

- “I know how Cat thinks. She only sees the world one way, that everyone is going to hurt everyone. So I played that card, and it worked. Besides, Mikey and Frank did it great.”

I smile and squeeze Spencer’s hand, trying to reassure him that everything is fine, that no one is mad at him, and that nothing that happened today hurt us.

- "I can't believe it."- he whispers and looks at me with a soft smile.- "You totally fooled me."

- "I totally did."- I reply with a smile. Frank’s father-in-law, Charlie, walks toward Spencer and shakes his hand that minute.

- “It's very nice to meet you. Thank you for everything you and the team did for us.”

- “I am so sorry Cat put you through hell.”- Spencer replies, with honest concern in his voice.

- “It’s not your fault. She was clearly mental.”- Charlie adds and looks at Frank and Tarah.- “My daughter has been talking about you too since she met Frank, I’m glad to finally put a face to all the stories about the Doctors.”

- “That’s our nickname? The Doctors?”- I question Tarah raising an eyebrow, and she just grins, holding Frank’s hand.

- “You watch Doctor Who and have PhDs. What did you expect us to call you? The Carpenters?”- she replies, making me and Spencer laugh immediately. Frank chuckles and kisses her cheek, proud of her answer. I smile and shake my head. Those two are perfect together, two peas in a pod.

- “Thank you for saving my sister!”.- Mikey’s wife hugs me and smiles at Spencer.- “I can understand why you wanna leave this place, but what you do here gives people hope. You and your team are heroes, I’m glad we got to see you work.”

I really don’t know how to reply to that comment because it’s mainly what I don’t wanna deal with right now. I do the polite thing: I nod and smile and then look at my husband, who is staring at me.

- “I’m sorry we tricked you.”- I whisper and his lips curl up into a shy smile.

- “Don’t be sorry. It feels…”

- “Angsty?”- I interrupt him and he just shakes his head.

- “Not it's surprising to know my wife can lie to me this well after so many years together.”- he confesses and chuckles.- "You are making me feel so naive and easy to fool!"

- “Actually, there’s a study conducted by the Ad Council Research Program that confirms that 72% of Americans trust the most on their spouse, which means you are bound to trust me, Spencer Walter Reid.”

- “Look at you, dropping statistics.”- he teases and moves a step closer, wrapping his arms around my waist.- "You know what happens to me when my wife drops statistics."

- “Hey, Doctors, we are still here, so please don’t make out in front of us.”- Tarah taps her hand on Spencer's back and stops us on time before we start making out. Can you blame me? I am crazy in love with this man. And I can't wait until we start living the rest of our lives together.

- “ Sorry…”- I blush and move away from my husband.- “Maybe we should get ready to go home, it was a long last day.”

- “Yes, we should.”- Spencer agrees with me and holds my hand immediately.

I look around the room and somehow it hits me. We are leaving now, for real.

- “Anything we might help you with?”- Frank asks and I just nod.

- “A few boxes with books from Spencer’s desk and some pictures from mine, and that’s it.”

Why does this feel so natural?

- “Great, we’ll grab those while you say goodbye to your friends.”- Spencer’s hold in my hand feels tighter all of a sudden. Probably because Frank’s words made our departure real and imminent. It’s happening right now.

I look at Penelope, and tears are already in her eyes. I walk to her and wrap my arms around her, trying to hold myself together.

- “This bullpen will never feel complete again without you two here.”- she whispers. The knot in my throat is tighter every second, and I am afraid if I speak, I’ll start crying.- “But don’t think for a second you are gonna get rid of me.”

- “Never.”- I manage to reply as Garcia kisses my cheek and looks into my eyes.

- “I’ll be at your house this Saturday to help you with your scrapbook, ok? I have all my tools ready.”- I nod and wipe off the tears from my cheeks. Rossi opens his arms and hugs me next.

- “And I will see you this Friday for dinner at my place.”

- “Yes Coronel Canelloni.”- I mumble and feel his body shaking with laughter.

- “I liked Papa Pasta better.”- I chuckle and hug tighter.

- “Thank you for everything.”

- “You are welcome tesorina. Now go and live your happily ever after, capito?”- I chuckle and nod. Alvez, Matt, and Tara hug me next, all of them wishing us the best in our next chapter in life.

It isn’t until JJ walks toward me that I freeze. I don’t think I’m in the mood to fight with her or even just pretend I don’t hate her. I need to get this over with.

- “I know we are not on the best terms, but we were best friends for many years here, and I hope you know I am going to miss you very much.”

Her words just hang in the air for a few seconds, as I stare at her. I'm too tired, too hungry, and too old to do this one more time. I just wanna go home.

- “Thank you.”- I have many snarky comebacks to her words, but I bit my tongue. JJ hugs me and barely I tap on her back. This is the best I can do after what happened. I don’t wanna hold grudges but I can’t lie to myself. I am never going to forgive JJ, and that's the truth.

Emily is hugging Spencer, and both of them are already in tears. Someone pokes my shoulder as I wait for my turn, and when I turn around I find Anderson standing next to me.

- “Sonny.”

- “Reid, you didn’t think you were gonna leave without saying a proper goodbye to me, right?

- “Never, I was saving the best for last.”- I wrap my arms around Grant as he does the same, whispering.

- “By the way, you never gave me credit for getting you and Spencer together all those years ago.”

- “What do you mean?”- I look at him, frowning and he just chuckles.

- “If I hadn’t introduced you to James, probably none of this would have happened. You were in denial about your feelings for him until he was crazy jealous.”- I laugh shaking my head and then I hug him one more time.

- “You are right, Anderson. Thank you for everything.”

- “You are welcome. I’m gonna miss you very much, who is gonna be my partner in karaoke night?”

- “I think Penelope can manage my parts, give her a chance.”

Anderson chuckles and I smile at him, grateful to leave like this, holding all the friends I’ve made during all the years I spent at the BAU. And most of all, I am glad Spencer gets to do the same. He gets to enjoy all the life lasting bounds created and take with him all the good times and the love from his BAU family.

- “(Y/N).”- Prentiss takes me from my thoughts and opens her arms, hugging me immediately.- “This is not goodbye.”

- “I know.”- I reply, enjoying her embrace, and fighting the tears immediately.

- “But I am gonna miss you around here.”- she manages to add, and her voice cracks. If she starts crying, I don't think I will be able to stop, so I better say something funny or snarky to defuse our emotional moment quickly.

- “Who else will drive you crazy?”- I ask her with a playful smile, and my dearest friend chuckles right away.

- “Luke and Garcia have been working on it lately.”- her answer is fast and it makes me smile right away. I lean over and whisper in her ear.

- “They are gonna end up angry fucking in the janitor's closet one day, I can see it coming.”- Prentiss laughs and nods right away.

- “I’ll keep you posted about that.”

Spencer finishes his conversation with JJ - I don’t even wanna think what she was telling him - and holds my hand when we say goodbye to the team. His eyes are red, but his lips are curled into a smile. He is happy, and that gives my heart joy. From now on I'll make it my life mission to make my husband happy every day. This man has given me everything I ever dreamed of. I can't give him less than that.

Spencer’s point of view

- “I’m sure this will be the last time we get a chance to talk.-” JJ says when she walks toward me and hugs me.- “I just… didn’t want you to leave after all these years with things feeling so uncomfortable.”

- “Don’t worry, JJ."- I give her a small hug and move apart from her quickly. I'm trying not to be cold, but I really don't wanna give her any wrong idea.

- "I'm really gonna miss you."- she whispers and stares at her feet for a moment before adding.- "Both of you."

- "Thank you for everything. All the support and all the moments we shared. you were an amazing friend. And we both love you, Will, and the boys very much."- I smile at her and turn to my wife. She is having some emotional conversation with Emily and the two of them are fighting the tears. (Y/N) looks at me and I hold her hand. It's time to leave. And I just can't wait.

I always thought this moment would be painful and filled with sorrow. But I'm just anxious to start the rest of my life. It¡'s the end of a chapter, but the start of something better. My life with my wife and our babies.

- "How many books did you need at work? A hundred?"- Frank asks as he holds one of the boxes left on my desk, and I just smile at him as I grab the other box in silence. After all, I think it was a blessing having him and Mikey here today. I am sorry they were dragged into Cat's madness, but I'm glad (Y/N) has her family close as we say goodbye to our other family.

We wave to the team one last time from the elevator and as the door closes, we just sigh. Mikey and his family start talking about getting dinner, but we just wanna go home. So we say goodbye in the parking lot and promise our friends a visit in the following days. They should rest anyway, their close ones had one hell of a day nad I don't think anyone really wants to go out to eat.

When we are alone, we get in our car and drive to our house. We get pizza for dinner, because we feel like it, and let the kids decide the movie we are gonna watch.

It looks like any random day from the outside. But we both know how special it felt to pick our babies from Sofia's knowing it's the last time we were leaving them for a case.

I just wanna be able to watch my babies grow. I trust the team will keep us safe, and from now on i just have to worry about being a good dad for my babies, and a good husband for my wife.

As soon as we get home, Raven convinces her brother to watch "The Beauty and the Beast" first and then "Lilo and Stitch", which might have been a master move from our daughter, considering we all know Vinny might fall asleep soon.

But he doesn’t. He is forcing himself to stay awake eating popcorn and drawing as we gather on the couch and he takes over the coffee table with all his coloring books.

- “Here's where she meets Prince Charming, but she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three”- Raven and (Y/N) sing as a beautiful chorus along with the movie. I look at them with a big smile and my wife winks at me. I remember back in the days when she used to sing love songs in the car before we confessed our feelings for each other and I dreamed they were for me. I never even dared to think I was actually right, and now here she is, singing along with our daughter.

- “Is that how you felt when you met Daddy, Mom?”- Raven asks seriously. - “Did you know you loved him right away, mommy?”

For a few seconds, I don’t even move. Raven looks at (Y/N) with her big brown eyes, expecting an answer. Why is our four-year-old asking about love already? Why was she growing up so fast?

- “When I met your dad, I didn’t know he was my prince charming for a long time, birdy.”- (Y/N) confesses and looks at me, blushing.

- “Like Belle and the Beast?”- Raven continues asking. Once she starts, she never stops.

- “Yes, but your dad was never a beast. He was always a charming prince.”

- “Did he have a beard and long hair?”- I’m guessing Raven is trying to picture me in any way close to the Beast.

- “No, but he grew a lovely five o'clock shadow during a week he got sick and I took care of him many, many years ago.”- it might be silly to blush over that confession, but I remember when (Y/N) helped me des intoxicate from Diaudil, and she mentioned my silly beard looked cute. It still shocks me to know she loved me back then the same way I loved her.

- “And how did you know you loved him?”- I try not to chuckle at her persistence.

- “Yes, ma cherie, please tell us. How did you know? And when did you find out you loved me?- I tease her, ‘cause I love teasing my wife and watching her blushing.

- “It was little things at first. Like how happy I felt when I saw him, and how I wanted to be with him all the time.”- (Y/N) replies and I hold her hand on the couch. Talking about that, with our kids, at our house, it really feels like a fairy tale.

- “I feel like that about Daddy too.”- Raven says and quickly jumps onto my lap and hugs me. I wrap my arms around her as well, kissing her cheeks several times.

- “Because you love me too. And I love you immensely”- I explain to our daughter as she giggles.

- “I wanna love someone and get married.”- Raven murmurs and squirms from my lap to continue watching her favorite movie.

- “Trust me, when that happens we are gonna be there to support you no matter what.”- I kiss the top of her head and (Y/N) holds my hand again.

Nothing on earth will ever be more important than this, the little moments we share with our kids, and all the moments we are gonna share from now on. No more traveling. I don’t want to look and see that my entire life had passed me by while I was chasing monsters. I hope this means that will never happen.

Two hours later, we are watching “Lilo and Stitch”, eating popcorn as the kids slowly doze off. The floor is filled with toys and art supplies they were using before cuddling with us on the couch. (Y/N) is holding Vinny and Matilda at the same time, while Raven is on my lap, almost snoring.

- “Upstairs.”- (Y/N) moutheres and somehow manages to take Vinny and Tilly on each arm. I hold Raven tight and we walk upstairs quietly. There’s something different about this simple action. Something that feels even more homy about our place. Probably because we know we are gonna be here, doing the exact same thing tomorrow night, and the night after that, and the night after that…

I put Raven on her bed and kiss her forehead. She hugs the old unicorn Mikey gave her when she was a baby, she still can’t sleep without it, and I walk to help (Y/N) with the other two kids.

Tilly is in her crib, fast asleep, but Vinny is awake and chatty, sitting on his bed, refusing to close his eyes.

- “But why do I have to sleep if I’m not sleepy?”- he argues as (Y/N) tucks him in and holds a book.

- “Because you need to sleep so tomorrow you are fully rested for everything we are gonna do”

- “Are we going to spend the day with Nana while you work?”- he questions and it hurts to think that’s the reference he has of his days.

- “No baby, we are spending the day with you and your sisters.”

- “And who is gonna catch the bad guys?”

- “The rest of the team: Aunty Penny with Aunty Em and Aunty Tara, Uncle Luke, Uncle Matt, and Papa Pasta.”

I notice (Y/N) doesn’t mention JJ, and I am ok with that. Now that we are no longer on the team, our friendship with her will no longer be an item. It’s the one thing we lost, other than time, overstaying with the BAU.

- “And you won’t help?”- Vincent whispers, fighting to stay awake.

- “Your dad and I are not gonna help them anymore.”- (Y/N) replies in a hushed voice, as she plays with his hair and he slowly starts closing his eyes.

- “Never?”- Vincent’s voice is a tiny whisper filled with surprise and joy.

- “Never.”

- “And what are you gonna do now?”

- “Your dad and I are gonna take you to school every day, and pick you up every afternoon, and then we’ll come home and help you with homework, make dinner, we’ll go to the park, we’ll play pirates, and draw all the pictures you can imagine. We are gonna bake cupcakes and cookies with your sisters, and we’ll watch a movie every together Friday.”

There’s a long pause after (Y/N) stops enumerating things to do and when I walk to the edge of the bed, I find that Vinny is fast asleep already, and (Y/N) keeps caressing his hair tenderly. I rest a hand on her shoulder and she turns to me with watery eyes and a big warm smile. I lean and kiss Vinny’s forehead as my wife stands up from his bed and walks with me to our room.

- “You know, according to the quantum theory proposed by Hugh Everett, every quantum event creates a branching of universes, leading to a vast array of parallel realities.”- (Y/N) says as she puts on her pajama. I stay still and turn to her. I know I'm basically drooling over my wife, but I just can't help it. I'm already half-hard with that sentence alone.- “What?”- she asks, confused.

- “Do you know what happens to me when you start rambling about science?”- I ask her in a low voice, and she just giggles.

- “I know I get pregnant when I talk about facts like these.”

- “Yes, you do.”- I smile at her like a goof and she shakes her head.

- “But I have a point.”

- “Surprise me, ma cherie.”- (Y/N) finishes putting on her pajamas and sits on the bed, hugging a pillow.

- “If Everett was right and there are different branches with different universes and versions of our reality, there might be an alternative universe where we never met each other.”

- “I wish there wasn’t. That would be very sad.”- I mumble as I stare at her. Life without her is the kind of reality I don't want to picture. Not in this life, or in any alternative universe. I wish everything I ever do in life leads to sweet moments like this.

- “Yes. But if you think about it if I hadn’t joined the team… Do you think our paths would have ever crossed?”

I stare at her. She is putting some night cream on her face, waiting for my reply. And though I wish I could tell her I’m sure this was the only outcome of our lives, she might be right. We are lucky our paths crossed at the BAU.

- “I don’t even wanna picture a universe without this. Our family, you… this is the most important thing to me. Any other outcome of my life would have been a waste.”- I confess and move closer to her, sitting by her side and holding her hand.

- “If I hadn’t joined the team, where do you think we could have met?”

- “At a coffee house.”- I reply no questions asked. - “We would both be regulars and the waitress would have played matchmaker.”

- “That if the waitress didn’t try to catch your eye first.”- my wife jokes, and I frown immediately.

- “I’m picturing a blond sixty-year-old lady with a perm.”- (Y/N) laughs at my answer and I hold her hand and kiss it.- “I think I would have loved you in every universe, ma cheriè.”

- “Me too. Do you think there is an alternative reality where we never confessed our feelings and were friends forever?”

- “Sounds like a nightmare… a very real and possible nightmare.”- I chuckle and wrap my arms around her, sitting her on my lap. - “In that universe, Emily kills us by the way.”

- “Yes, I agree.”- (Y/N) chuckles and then hides her face against my neck, sighing. - “This is the only universe I wanna live in, honey.”

- “Me too. Any universe with you would be perfect, but this is the ultimate universe for me.”- I kiss her lips and she smiles. We stay quiet for a few seconds, just smiling at each other, until she announces.

- “And starting tomorrow we are gonna have a brand new life.”

- “Are you scared?”- I whisper and she shakes her head right away.

- “No, I’m excited about our fresh start.”

- “Me too. I’m not worried about what might come, as long as I have you by my side, ma cheriè, I can deal with anything.”

- “I feel the same, honey.” 

[oh-no-its-bird]

Gonna ramble a bit here, sorry in advance for that

With the rise in worry about the permanence of online media (books / music / video content / art / online chat history / etc.) I've been thinking about wanting to print out some of my favorite fics, or catologue some of my longer (months and years long tbh) conversations about ocs. Or maybe try and learn how to burn cds so I can save my music and favorite shows / videos n stuff

Mm,, download a show online and burn it into a cd so I never have to look for it again,, easily accessible physical copy,, I love pirating things

Obviously, with printing out fics I'd want to ask for explicit permission from the author and then keep the printed volume to myself. Gotta be careful to be respectful ab that sort of thing.

I'd also be interested in printing out some of my own shit too, just for fun. Those old conversations about ocs won't last forever, discord will eventually fail and when it does I know I for one will be crushed to lose all that chat history.

Obviously, I'm an American, and like the current political state in America is uhhh. Deeply worrying for all of us over here. So I won't lie, that's also adding a layer of worry from that angle. Things are already looking ugly, and if they get uglier, you know, I for one don't want my information to be completley ripped away from me

Turning back to the fic thing again, there's also a good amount of American fic writers who have / are planning to / are thinking about taking down some of their fics, due to fear of potential laws that threaten to make pornography illegal, and alao laws that classify anything homosexual as pornography.

Now, to be clear, I don't think they'll really do this. I think that even if they try, there're literally no fucking way it would pass. The backlash alone would be insane. But that doesn't change the fact that people are scared— that people got scared, and some have already taken things down

So there's another layer of just, shit man, I don't wanna lose my fics. There's always a risk that even if you download it, you could one day lose it too.

Also printed and bound fics are just cool as hell. What do you mean I have a copy of my very favorite fics, right there on my shelf in physical form, which I can open any time to any page I want without fear of ao3 one day crashing?

The ideal world tbh

Besides that, there's also a sort of time capsule aspect to it.

The other day, my dad whipped out his old tape recordings he made when he was a kid, just of him rambling about shit to mail to a cousin. He put them in to a record player he apparently just had, and I lost my fucking mind seeing it.

Both of my parents were laughing at how excited I was to see both the tapes and the boom box— and to listen to my dad's tinny, muffled voice sounding just like the vintage tapes might be portrayed on TV. Faint static and old timey tv lilt in his voice and all.

To them, it was just a small, slightly nostalgic thing. To me, it was cool as hell and totally retro

The things I save today, that I print, that I burn into cds; Stories I'm scared might get deleted, conversations I dont want to lose, tv shows I could never afford to maintain a subscription to see, playlists of music I worried I'd lose; They may someday be some day be a real relic of the past, however many years in the future. If not for other people, than yeah, for me

So just, I dunno. It's important to save things in a way that they can't be taken away from you.

It's supposed to be the "age of information," isn't it? Well then, let me keep my goddamn information

[lady-ace]

FIC WIP BE UPON THEE

(Captain Marvel x Pokémon, which i'm planning on putting on AO3 once i'm done with like, 5 chapters or so. This is the WIP of the first chapter.)

Captain Marvel is the brand new Fawcett hero. The man simply showed up one day, and started helping the community, be it with fighting crime or the most mundane things, like helping children find their parents when lost or help a person cross the street. He wasn’t as famous as Batman or Superman, and he even doubted he’d even been heard of outside of Fawcett. He was still very new, after all.

When flying around on patrol, Captain Marvel and Tawny — Who was on the ground, following along — spotted two men cornering an elderly woman in an alley, knives in hand, poised to attack.

“Pass em’, grandma!” One of them ordered, bringing the knife closer to her threateningly. “Give us the necklace and no one gets hurt!” The other thug exclaims, getting closer to rip the necklace off the lady’s neck altogether.

“No, please!” The senior pleaded, “It was a gift from my grandson!” She added, clutching her necklace close to her protectively, clearly close to tears and panic evident on her voice.

Marvel looked at Tawny as the Raikou growled and went into the alley, passing and startling the robbers as he stood in defense of the lady, growls coming out like crackles of thunder, loud against the silence of the alley.

“Shit!” the first thug yelped in surprise, “Is that the hero Raikou?!” the second one asked, taking a step back in fear of the large feline in front of him. “I thought it was a myth!”

Captain Marvel slowly floated down to land alongside Tawny, standing tall and opposing the two criminals, who were looking ready to bolt, shaking hands reaching to the Pokéballs on their belts.

“Tawny,” The hero called, nodding at the Pokémon, “Electroweb.”

At the command, electricity charged all around the legendary Pokémon, surging forwards as two webs that wrapped around the two criminals, shocking them to make them drop their weapons, before staying dormant, only serving to keep them both still.

After checking on the restrained criminals, Marvel turned to Tawny. “Good job!” he smiled, petting the Pokémon’s head, who trilled back proudly at the praise, happy with his work well done.

After the brief congratulations and pets, Marvel turned around to check on the elderly woman. 

“Thank you, thank you! This necklace is oh so dear to me, I can't bear to even think of losing it.” The senior babbled, voice full of relief and a big smile upon her face.

The Captain smiled back at her, “No need to thank me, Ma’am. I’m just glad you’re safe.” he responded, before being lightly headbutted by his partner Pokémon, trying to get his attention.

“Yes?” he asked, confused, as the pokémon walked to the thugs restrained on the ground, referencing them, their fallen weapons and Pokéballs with a paw. Realization dawned on the champion, “Oh! Them! Right, right.” he noted.

“Ma’am, I need to go deliver those men to the police. Stay safe, alright?” at her nod, he grabbed both restrained thugs, still struggling in the electric webs, and took flight, being mindful of the Pokéballs still on them. He absentmindedly noted that Tawny took both of the dropped knives before he followed him. 

──────────────────────────

Today was a calm day in the Justice League watchtower. Batman was researching some cases and compiling files, with his Noivern by his side, while Flash’s Jolteon raced by, chasing Green Lantern’s Reuniclus.

The Jolteon, happily yipping after the other Pokémon, stopped once they both reached the recreation room. The large TV was on, displaying the news.

“Hello, good morning, Reporter Jessica speaking, reporting from Fawcett city.” the reporter started. Behind her was a large person who was talking to the police. The person didn’t seem thrilled at all to be talking to them. “This morning a criminal duo was apprehended by Captain Marvel, the newest Fawcett hero.” She said, stepping aside and letting the camera focus on the tall person — Presumably, Captain Marvel — talking to the officers. She moved again, the camera focus going right back at her. 

“We are hoping to get an exclusive interview with him, and get more information on the crime.” Jessica says pointedly. She was not too close to where Marvel and the officers stood, but with the subtle raise of her voice, it was obvious she was heard. Especially when the Captain seemed to beam out of nowhere, saying rushed goodbyes to the officers, waiting patiently as the news crew moved in.

“Hello, Captain Marvel. Could you explain to us what happened earlier today?” The reporter politely asked, raising her microphone near the hero. He seemed somewhat relieved, or more accurately, less on edge talking to the curious reporter and cameraman than he was talking to the officers.

“Of course!” The hero said with a bright smile. The news banner silently changed from ‘EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH NEW FAWCETT HERO AND LEGENDARY PARTNER’ to a blank banner. “While on patrol today, me and Raikou,” Upon being mentioned, a Raikou showed up, who was previously out of the camera’s view. The hero seemed surprised too, “Oh, hi.” He cut himself off briefly to greet his Pokémon, who simply let out a chirp at the camera. “As I was saying, me and Raikou were on patrol when those two,” Marvel pointed behind him. The camera follows where he points, ending up on the two criminals, handcuffed and inside the back of a police car. “Decided to try and rob an old lady.” 

The reporter feigned a gasp, and proceeded to ask more questions, some very unrelated to the matter at hand. —“Could you tell us if you’re Kryptonian, Marvel?” and “Were there Raikou on your planet?” couldn’t have anything to do with an older lady getting saved from two robbers, after all—The TV channel’s banner now read “NEW FAWCETT HERO SAVES OLD LADY FROM ARMED ROBBERY, NEW SUPERMAN?”.

While the Pokémon watched, mesmerized by the seemingly random appearance of a legendary Pokémon — A caught one! Can you believe it? — on live TV.

The Jolteon and the Reuniclus started chattering to each other back and forth, communicating with wobbles and barks. The excited Pokémon chatter attracted Noivern’s attention a room away, who went to check it out.

Upon arrival, and seeing what all the noise was about, Noivern quickly returned to Batman, the normally quiet and composed Pokémon suddenly chirping rather loudly to get the man’s attention.

[melbatron5000]

Murder Board 2.0

Updated 1/27/2025

Since I've figured a few things out, I need to re-do my Murder Board. New answers, new questions.

What I think I know:

Hints given out by NG are suspect at best. (I cannot blame him or anyone else on the cast or crew -- they spent A LOT of time and energy building this very meticulous puzzle game for us -- why would ANY of them give ANY of it away? That would ruin all the fun!)

Lots of the discontinuity of Season 2 can be explained by POV switches between characters. See here and here for more. I think the title/location cards are also probably POV Clues, that needs a closer look.

Crowley gave something to Aziraphale in his mouth when they kissed. It's the fly. Now, what else was in the fly besides Gabriel's memory? RECORDS. Incriminating records that are why the Metatron let Beelzebub and Gabriel go, but nailed Aziraphale. The Metatron knows Gabriel has those records, he doesn't know they got passed to Aziraphale.

Saraqael and Crowley and by proxy, Aziraphale are all working together. See here and here for more. That explains A. the tiny miracle blowing up into a 25 Lazarii miracle. It didn't. They had to cover for something else that did. B. Saraqael showing the archangels the book shop in 2019 in the spy hole. C. Crowley's spy turtle neck and where he went during Aziraphale's Job flashback. D. Why Saraqael helps him see the trial in Heaven. (Oh! Muriel's now in on it, too!)

Crowley's memory is fine, it's a red herring. It might mean something else, though. Is it a hint about how long there have been 2 Crowleys? Since 1941? Why are there no hints of 2 Crowleys in Season 1?

Shax is on a mission besides Gabriel -- she's looking for whatever Aziraphale and Crowley are hiding. Gabriel is a side-mission.

The hand-washing comment from Crowley in the Resurrectionists minisode -- he tells DaVinci about helicopters in Good Omens the novel. It's just a thing he can do.

What is up with Maggie? Maggie's freaking Jesus 2.0. She's what Shax is looking for, and who Crowley, Aziraphale, and Saraqael are hiding. Also, where is God? God is busy being Maggie, that's where. That's why Crowley says "Oh God" before his speech in the final fifteen. He's bringing up what they're hiding, reminding Aziraphale that someone has to stay and keep an eye on Maggie. That's why he can't go. Now, how the FUCK did Jesus 2.0 wind up owning a record store she inherited from her family NEXT TO AN ANGEL?? (Ah, shit, now I'm doubting this one. Now I suspect it's Nina, and Maggie is Mary MAGdeline. Same questions still apply.)

SECRET SONGS??? Why are the songs secret?? I'm losing my mind, what is happening?? I think this is a message that A. Aziraphale and Crowley are okay, and B. We will absolutely be getting part 3 of 1941.

I still think the scenes might be out of order. Is it as simple as watching them in chronological order? Could be.

The Metatron is a naked man. i.e. he was originally HUMAN.

Aziraphale and Crowley are talking in subtext A LOT. Aziraphale's tells are easier to spot than Crowley's. He raises his eyebrows and does vocal bunny rabbit ears, says "um," and "ah." "Our Gabriel miracle," "The establishment in question," "Certainly on to something," "Haven't yet cracked the case." Crowley's tell seems to be being effusive. "Frozen peas," "You wouldn't be interested in love?" "Well, today is your lucky day!" "How do you know I didn't do it?"

We are missing the scenes that should mirror the Resurrectionists minisode. What we do have instead of mirrors to that are Crowley telling the demons they are out of order. He can tell time has been messed with.

There are two Crowleys. I think the head in the book shop is his way of keeping in touch while his twin is off doing things, and the red eyes are him, too. Now, why?? What do they need 2 Crowleys for?

The bullet catch instruction booklet gets 3 close ups, both because it is important and because they pull the same trick 3 times in the show: Once during Job, once during 1941, and once during the Final Fifteen.

What still needs answering:

The clocks jumping time. And why are the extras moving in double-time when we first arrive to Whickber street?

The weird hand in the 1941 photo. Is that a 2 Crowleys hint?

Aziraphale's chair position being moved still doesn't make sense. Unless Crowley was talking to himself??

The extras behaving strangely.

Crowley's car being in the wrong spot on the road after Shax threatens him.

Weird sounds -- Aziraphale turns to look at a crashing sound when he returns from Edinburgh, to look at a car horn, the very loud clock in the final fifteen BUT ALSO when Jim says he will go out to the demons, nightingale singing when Crowley leaves in the FF.

I'm not sure that POV switches explain Crowley's sunglasses going from silver to black.

I don't know why Aziraphale went to Edinburgh, or why he stopped at the graveyard where Gabriel's statue is, or why he looked like he realized something important while he was there.

Why does Michael do the "nothing's in the box" thing with the matchbox? It's a petty specific action. Someone pointed out that Michael's nails look chewed and terrible, are we meant to stare at the matchbox while something else goes unnoticed? Well, duh. But what?

We most certainly did not get the whole scene where the Metatron is talking to Aziraphale. What else was said?

What did Crowley do during his ALL-NIGHT JAUNT in Heaven? Did he sneak around and steal something? Did he uncover something? Did they hurt him? I think he stole something.

What did Aziraphale do with his briefcase that he took to Edinburgh? We see it in the book shop from his POV, and Edinburgh is seen from Crowley's POV, so they both know it exists. And then it's gone. He also said he "hasn't yet cracked the case." So he hasn't opened it yet? Why not? What's in there?

Why does Gabriel prophecy with God's voice? IS it God's voice? It's a woman, is it Frances McDormand? It's hard to hear. When he remembers the beginning, I think it's God's voice. When he prophecies, it may be someone else. Frances McDormand has no credit in that episode.

Why the heck did Maggie and Nina go talk to Crowley while the Metatron was talking to Aziraphale? What they had to say wasn't important enough to leave Nina's shop during a rush, and I definitely don't think they derailed Crowley from what he needed to say to Aziraphale, though it might look at first as if they did. So what was that about? Were they trying to speak in husband-code to warn him about the Metatron?

When Shax stops Aziraphale for a ride, he says, "Oh, I really need to get to --" and then is cut off. He really needs to get to where? It's an easy assumption to think he means the book shop, or London. But is that all he means? Or was he on his way somewhere else? And if it was just the book shop, what does he mean he's late? Late for what?

When Crowley leaves Heaven, he tells Saraqael and Muriel to come, too. But in the elevator, Michael and Uriel are there! When the fuck did they show up??

Why does Beelzebub tell Shax to attack the bookstore? Aren't they worried about Gabriel being harmed? And they know Hell is understaffed. Maybe that's why they command it? Because they know Shax won't be able to get many demons?

What about the Masons? It's such a specific thing for the pub owner to bring up, what is the meaning of it? And Maggie has a Mason symbol on her necklace. Did the Masons carve the statue of Gabriel? When did they see him?

The only narration we hear in the entire season is Aziraphale in the Resurrectionist flashback. I believe this is to throw us off the POV character switches all season. But still, why do we only hear him narrate 1 flashback? I think he's reading the diary to himself in the present day. That would explain the end, "And that was the last I was to see of Crowley for some time." He JUST heard the story of the jukebox from Maggie. And Gabriel appearing at the pub -- same city that statue is in. Of course he thought of something important from that diary entry! Now, what did he notice?

Is the Book of Life a real threat? We hear two stories about it, that it's real and that its ability to erase beings was something to scare the cherubs with, this is inconclusive. Crowley gets nervous after Beelzebub talks to him, but I think he's pissed that Heaven and Hell have taken an interest in them again, especially since they're trying to hide Nina!Jesus.

So many promo posters show Aziraphale, Crowley, and Jimbriel together, or symbols of them. Three feathers: two white, one black. Tea cup, cocoa mug, wine glass. The three of them. Not with Beelzebub, not with Muriel, the three of them. And all three of them have been Jesus-coded in some small way. No one else. Those three. What. Why. Are they the sacrifice required to bring about the new world? Why not Beez, then?

The whole collection of Maggie's album's from the Amazon X-ray are great, big CLUES.

A post that I didn't reblog pointed out that the record Aziraphale is listening to when Garbriel shows up is neither Shostakovich nor 21 minutes long. That seems important, but I'm not sure how. (The record is opposite when Crowley gives Aziraphale the fly containing records -- the actual symphony is, according to the original blog, one written by a rebel in contempt of his government. Do the records have to do with the rebellion and fall?)

What the heck does Furfur mean by "little monkey in the waistcoat?" How does that sound like Crowley?

Why does Furfur change the subject when Aziraphale asks where Gabriel and Beelzebub would like to go?

Why does Mrs. H say "for God's sake" two times in a row? No one says that on this show without a meaning.

Shax notices Crowley going to Heaven and makes an epiphany face.

Why is the end credit music for the ball French cafe music? French must be important. And the end credit music for The Hitchhiker is old timey and scratchy, then skips and becomes the same song in a newer, clearer style. Because they repeat the bullet catch trick in the modern day, perhaps?

I thought I heard that Crowley and Aziraphale are in the fly in the opening sequence, but nope. So why are they in a cave?

Why are there multiple elevators and multiple mountains in the opening sequence??? What the hell does that mean?? And multiple Edens?? All right, what's up??

I count at least two times Aziraphale glances right at the camera, probably more. Who is he looking at? Us? Is he looking at Crowley?Why??

When Aziraphale arrives back from Edinburgh, he asks how "everything is with -- mm." Crowley says "he was sleeping, I heard him singing." I don't think they mean Gabriel. At the cafe, Crowley says when Gabriel smites you, you've been smitten. Aziraphale says he isn't "you know who any longer." Again, I don't think he means Gabriel. Who are they hiding?

What has Aziraphale's attention when he asks Maggie about Every Day? She points to the coffee shop, and all of a sudden Aziraphale can't stop looking out the window and gets very nervous.

Twos. Why are twos so important?? Repeating twos. And there's doubles of damn near every object on screen.

ARE THEY "ELSEWHERE??" People have wondered if Whickber street is a mini-world, and in the book Crowley's watch shows the time in several places, including "elsewhere," where the time is always "Too Late."

"Haven't yet 'cracked the case!'" Like, the briefcase he left in Edinburgh??

Repeating themes: (I am just realizing that these aren't just themes, they are all Clues!)

Beverages of all kinds -- tea for Aziraphale, wine or whiskey for Crowley, cocoa for Jim. Oh, and LAUDANUM. And coffee!

Time -- lots of clocks/mentions of time. Everyone notices the ticking clock during the Final Fifteen, but it's ticking loud when the demons attack the ball, too. Also, why is the first scene of Whickber street shown at high-speed? Is time sped up? Or something else?

Love/partnership/togetherness being stronger than separateness

Memories/forgetting/remembering

Payment -- money comes up in both the Resurrectionists minisode and the Flesh Eating Nazi Zombies minisode, but no one pays for anything in present. There is bartering, but no money. Both times money is brought up, it's Crowley using Aziraphale's money, and both times, it's to buy a life. It's funny, but I feel like there's a point to it.

Rising from the dead -- Job's kids (even though they weren't actually dead), bodies used for science, Nazi zombies, the Second Coming. I think this is all just hinting around Jesus -- sure, hinting around Jesus, who we were expecting to show up in Season 3, but she's already here. The hints indicate that she is already on Earth, not going to show up next season.

Unreliable narrators. Because we are seeing the whole show from various characters' points of view. Because of that, we can only see what they know, expect, believe, or understand, but also what they want us to see. We need to take the whole second season with a grain of salt.

Death in general -- but 8a., I'm a dirty pagan, why didn't I make this connection sooner, death always leads to REBIRTH, change, something totally new and 8b. there are tarot cards in the magic shop, and even if you're not a dirty pagan, the Death tarot card means transition, something must die before a new thing can be born. Hmm.

Morality and what is "good" and what is right

Recognition and identity and hiding one's identity. Ah! Probably at least partly because Maggie someone? is Jesus. How would you recognize them? (I think it's Nina now.)

Licenses, permits, permissions, rules, proof, evidence, what's allowed. All of the minisodes mention this, and it all gets mentioned again over and over. Because Heaven and Hell do have rules they have to follow. Which drives home my theory that Gabriel stole some very incriminating records from Heaven when he left, Crowley got hold of them and gave them to Aziraphale during the kiss, and now Aziraphale is going to nail them.

Colors. Lots of colors!! Job's kids are dressed in the colors of Nina, Maggie, and Aziraphale's shops. Jesus on the Resurrectionist Pub sign is in blue and red, blue and red crop up a lot in extra's clothing, as do yellow and red, Crowley colors. The Ladies of Camelot are in red and blue. Aziraphale says Earth will be a blue-green planet, Nina's shop is blue-green.

Horses. Horse statue, horse wine label, people saying "dark horse." The four horsemen again? I feel like they already had their ride, so what the hell? I think it's because season 2 is an echo of season 1, I THINK -- I have to check -- that horses appear or get mentioned when the horsemen have corresponding scenes in season 1.

Numbers. A lot of numbers get said. Does it matter, or am I overthinking?

Repeating words and phrases:

Technically

Properly

Isn't it just?

Too late

Funny old world

Not as such

Made for each other

EVERYWHERE

Obviously

Two shakes of a lamb's tail

Dark horse

What are you/am I? As opposed to WHO. Aziraphale asks in the Land of Uz, and Crowley asks Gabriel.

Are you sure? Quite sure.

The Marvelous Mr. Fell is described as marvelous in his mysterosity, Shax says the demons have dangerosity.

Mrs. H in 1941 says "for God's sake" twice in quick succession.

Schtum

Every day

Hints:

Powell and Pressburg films

The Crow Road

Catch 22

The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, Terry Pratchett in general

Jane Austin

Book Good Omens

Season 1 Good Omens

The titles of episodes, minisodes, places, etc. 7a. The Arrival: a book and a movie, though the book seems far more relevant. And lovely. The Clue: a movie. Companion to Owls: a line from a Bible story. I Know Where I'm Going: a movie. The Resurrectionists: two novels, each called The Resurrectionist, singular. Both look unhinged. The Hitchhiker: a Twilight Zone episode. Nazi Zombie Flesheaters: Literally no other reference. ?? Nazi Zombies do appear in a LOT of movies, comics, and video games, usually as a dark joke. The Ball: a video game. Irrelevant? It's a puzzle-based game, so maybe not. Every Day: a song AND a movie. Some themes repeat here: Puzzle games, being re-directed from one's path to find true love, death and being brought back to life in a gruesome and unpleasant way.

Objects that get a close-up/centering:

Starmaker's nebula book -- Nebula 231,080

Shax's compact mirror

Maggie's note

Shostakovich record

Tomatoes

The box

The Bentley

Eccles cakes

The bell

Head statue

The book Jim drops

Jukebox

Gabgriel's statue

Laudanum bottle

Phones in Edinburgh episode

"Very closed" sign

Broken whiskey bottles in 1941

Hourglass in Hell

Furfur's camera

Bullet catch in the magic shop

Instruction booklet for bullet catch gets 3 close ups

Puppets

Dancers' silhouettes

Mr. Fell sign

The actual bullet

Angelic beings book

Photo evidence

Shax's shoes

"Surrender the angle" brick

[billluver0124]

"once more to see you.."

Narrators POV:

Imagine being who you are and being open about it. Having pride in who you've become when you entered this world and not living in fear. Sounds great right? I wonder what it's like too.

I hope you are brave enough to be who you are and love whoever the hell you want. Since I couldn't, being afraid made me lose the only person that could fill the empty void I had for so long. That void becomes bigger and bigger everyday. I'm losing hope for love.

It all started back in 2007...

"fuck.." he moaned out, the feeling of y/n grinding his neediness on Bill's lap was driving him nuts. He pulls y/n in, entrapping them in a wet passionate kiss. But this little make out was cut short with the sound of Bill's mother coming home.

"s-shit!" he muttered, pushing y/n to leave Bill's room through the windows, So his mom wouldn't see y/n. So no one would see him. So no one would see two boys making out; two boys in love.

This whole thing had been happening for months now, y/n and bill would meet up somewhere private and be themselves with each other, hold each other, kiss each other. But it all had to stay private because the world can't handle something like that. Two people of the same gender, being in love.

Especially not for Bill, he had a reputation to uphold. Being a musician has its pros, but with every pro comes double the cons. One wrong move and his entire career is over, it's like one long excruciating game of poker. But instead of gambling money, you're gambling your entire life. He's gotta play the cards right to stay in the game, if not, he could lose everything. But he's not gay...y/n and him are just friends...right?

The next day they met up again,what's so special about that? they do it every day, kiss, hug, make out? but this time was different, y/n just had to say what was on his mind today...the last time Bill would ever speak to y/n ever again.

"what is this?" he blurted out, holding it in was eating him alive. "what're you talking about?" asked Bill, his confused eyebrow making an appearance. "this..us..why are we still hiding?" y/n spoke, his eyes pleading for Bill to answer. "we're not hiding from anything..we're friends, just hanging out y'know?" y/n's stomach dropped to his ass. Just friends..? "friends don't do the things we do Bill.." "well we aren't together..I'm not gay y/n you know that." Hearing Bill say those words triggered tears in y/n's eyes. "so I don't mean anything to you..? at all?" Bill started to get annoyed now "what the hell are you even talking about?" "Bill, you told me you loved me..we've kissed, made out, we've cuddled..I even trusted you so much I let you touch my body bare..naked. That means nothing to you?"

"It's just something me and you do..it's a casual thing we do." Broken glass, the sound similar to y/n's own heart breaking by Bill's words. the sound of broken glass.

"why are you so afraid?" "what?" Bill was caught off guard by y/n's question. "why are you so afraid of this..of us?" he asked, "we could run away to a place where we don't have to hide anymore Bill..go on walks in the cities together..not having to hide anymore. I'm tired of hiding Bill." Bill started to become really annoyed, "dude I don't know how many times I have to tell you this, but I'm not gay, we aren't together and the things we do are just casual things..we aren't in love y/n." he said those words so carelessly, like it doesn't have an impact on y/n's feelings. y/n stood there trying so hard to keep the tears back. "my career and reputation is more important than this..than you."

then he just couldn't hold it back anymore. the tears just started falling. "if that hurts your feelings, then go." y/n didn't say anything back, he just turned around and went back home.

Bill didn't mean anything he said, but he just can't admit who he really is. He's afraid..

It had now been one week since the fight. Y/n hadn't showed up to school..matter of fact he hasn't shown up anywhere. Bill was becoming worried. After all, he still cared about y/n. After school, Bill walked to y/n's house. Hoping to see him again and fix everything, resolve everything. But that hope was cut short almost immediately. "y/n passed away a few nights ago.." Y/n's mother said. "w-what..?" Bill felt his whole world collapse, this cant be true. "yeah, he committed suicide..I'm sorry." "n-no its okay! I'm so sorry you lost your son. I wish you well" That was the last thing Bill said to y/n's mother. He ended up not sleeping that night. He now has to live his life without y/n, without the love of his life; the person he was so afraid of loving.

It has now been seventeen years since y/n passed, everyone has moved on. maybe even forgot about him, but not Bill. He gives with a sense of pure guilt for the rest of his life. "hey y/n, it's me Bill!..the band has been super successful and we've gone on so many tours sometimes I wish I had a break..y'know, a break with you." Bill laid a bouquet of flowers on the grave, hoping y/n would accept the flowers in the afterlife.

Bills POV:

"I'm so sorry..." I sobbed as the tears flew from my eyes, If only I wasn't such a fucking coward. he would still be here, we could've had a life together; a really good life together, but I didn't want it. Because I was afraid of what everyone else would think of me. If only I was proud of who I was, just like y/n was. If only I told him my true feelings that night and not what I needed to tell myself in order to feel "normal". Then he would still be here..

I would see him one more time.

AUTHORS NOTE: hey guys! I've been on a break but I've decided to come back! I might not post as often as I used to because I've been working on small little film projects here and there, but I will be posting again! I know this one is not good Im a little rusty. But I hope y'all enjoy!

[horse-girl-anthy]

this is gonna be an off the cuff ramble/vent so don't read if that doesn't interest you.

I am thinking I'm going to back away from Ikuhara fandom in the next six months (coinciding with when I finish the rewatches I'm doing in my server). I feel like I've exhausted what I have to say about his shows, and I've also developed a very specific way of understanding them which clashes with others. I'm torn between feeling like it's worth trying to delineate my own understanding and feeling that I'm just being territorial, pedantic, or close minded. at a certain point, even if I could be proved "right" on my interpretations, I'm losing the enjoyment I should have in the stories by caring what other people think about them. at the moment, I'm thinking I want to flesh a couple more ideas and then let it rest. I'll always be grateful to Ikuhara and happy I put time into this blog, but nothing lasts forever.

so all of that to say... I was on the fence about writing what I'm about to write. I recommend people who don't want to read someone objecting to common RGU fan interpretations to just check out now. I'm not trying to start anything. but after reflecting on it, I decided it to share my thoughts on this topic; I think it's worth saying, even if it makes me look contrarian or problematic.

---

I watched RGU in 2014, right as the western fandom was experiencing a shift in how it approached the show. I won't detail all that went on during that time--today I'm specifically interested in two characters: Nanami and Miki.

before, I'd say the fandom was overall less critical. things were taken more at face value. for instance, Nanami was not always taken seriously, while characters like Miki, just because they were "nice," were seen as "good guys." however as time's wore on, there's been a backlash to that way of approaching the show. the characters most likely to have received misogynistic hate in the past (Anthy, Shiori, Nanami, and Kozue, mainly) were reinterpreted, while "good guy" characters were increasingly scrutinized.

that was a good thing, as it was a counterbalance to the previous attitude. however, it's been more than a decade since I joined the fandom, and I still see people talking like it's 2014. the way that people have reinterpreted the anime has, often, not resulted in interesting readings. this is because people are still applying an ideological lens to the story, rather than engaging with how it presents itself.

I specifically want to highlight Nanami in this regard. I check the RGU tag almost every single day, and I have seen scores of posts which are nigh-identical to each other. it's always people talking about how she's a "calf to the slaughter," she's actually a victim, etc. and I just... don't get anything out of it.

I think a lot of this shift began with this essay series called Palace Perspective. it's been a long time since I read it--actually before my Utena renaissance--but I didn't like it at the time. it was written in this very self-serious style, and all I remember it arguing was "Nanami is a victim, Touga is a bad guy." I'd loved the Touga/Nanami relationship since I first watched RGU, and that was never how I felt about it. Touga certainly harms Nanami, but based on the series itself, it seemed to me that in large part, Touga was the victim, and Nanami was harmed by his victimization.

anyway, since around the time that essay series came out, people have had this attitude of "actually Nanami is a very deep character, you guys," as if it needs to be repeated over and over. and there's a denial that Nanami is a comic relief character--"actually her being funny is just a ruse because the show is camouflaging that she's a victim!" okay, yes, they do lure you in to Nanami's story slowly; she's initially silly, but all along hiding under that was some serious shit. I'm not denying that. but I'm also not buying that line entirely.

the Shadow Girls do an entire play about how Nanami's comedic suffering is the result of her own actions (they call it "divine justice"). take episode 16 specifically. yes, we have Nanami dreaming about being a calf for the slaughter. that is a great scene and indicative of the unhealthy relationship between her and Touga. but isn't the crux of the episode that Nanami is making a fool of herself??? she tries to one-up Juri at a party. her failure to realize what the cowbell is highlights her ignorance. the show is absolutely poking fun at her. you can go into why Nanami ended up this way, but I don't understand how we've gotten to the point where people are so over-serious about Nanami--and RGU in general--that they can't laugh at it.

I'll take a detour here to talk about Miki. it's become increasingly popular to frame him as a sexist--I've even seen him termed a "raging misogynist." he gets blamed for his strained relationship with his sister and written off as "just as bad as the other male characters." that's another case where I really don't see it. or at least, I feel like people have lost track of degrees in these things. Miki seems unsure of what he believes, sometimes expressing progressive views but other times regressive ones, and he does act within a patriarchal system. but does he comport himself that badly? or is he just a normal 13-year-old boy who falls into temptation?

I want to make a comparison between him and Nanami here. I think you could make a very real case that Nanami has far more sexist beliefs than Miki. she treats every female character as competition, as a hussy out to steal her brother. when she finds out the truth about Anthy and Akio, she immediately jumps to victim blaming Anthy. and another thing: Nanami plays princess.

the fact that so many people write about Nanami but this aspect of her character is rarely commented on is mind boggling. it's like, her whole thing. Nanami wants to be the center of the universe; Touga is her everything and she wants to possess Touga. she constantly acts the victim and tries to manipulate things so her enemies look like the villain.

I'm not saying this to shit on Nanami! I love Nanami, she's one of my favorite characters of all time! but I've found it alienating to be in a fandom where whitewashing is framed as appreciation. even her backstory: people make post after post about how it wasn't Nanami's fault she killed the cat, because she's a victim. here's the problem with that: why are we engaging with the story on the level of blame? I recently read an essay on methods of analysis that placed "vilification and heroization" as the lowest form of engagement with fiction. I understand why someone would want to defend a character from attack, but aside from like, youtube comments or old forum posts, who exactly is attacking Nanami? and also, how is saying "actually she's a victim so that explains everything" accomplishing anything?

I am being unfair here, because some people do engage with the work enough to say more than that. people will point to the neglect Nanami experienced as the cause of her behavior. that's there, it's certainly there. I'm not objecting to serious attempts to explain character motivation in reaction to vilifiction, but more to the impulse to try to paint characters as morally pure. isn't Nanami so great because she's so complicated? when people approach the story with the drive to whitewash, so much of the nuance and feeling of the work goes unnoticed. episode 31 and 32 do portray Nanami as a victim (of Touga and of her parents and of Akio). however, they also portray Nanami's motivations, and not all of them are pretty. over the course of the arc, you watch her entire worldview fall apart. it doesn't matter whether it's "her fault" she has that worldview--the process is painful and humiliating either way.

all of this carries through to how people react to both Nanami's final scene in the show and her comic relief section in the film. the comic relief scene is bad because it doesn't take Nanami seriously enough, while her final scene is bad because it shows her waiting on Touga and Saionji, which is sexist because she's partaking in traditional gender roles. the only way I can understand those reactions is that people didn't actually pay attention to how she was portrayed in the show, as a comic relief character or as a serious character. I'd understand the objection if Anthy's final scene involved her waiting on Akio, but Anthy and Nanami are different characters (I also don't get much out of the endless Anthy/Nanami posts because of how they are flattened in comparisons). unlike Anthy, Nanami spent the entire show demanding to be waited on, but when we see her for the last time, she's contentedly serving others. that is called character development.

I wanted to highlight Miki and Nanami because I feel they point to a major problem of the fandom: the maintenance of the prince and the princess, just with new definitions. the prince is bad, masculine, harmful, and needs to be rejected. the princess is good, feminine, eternally victimized, and above question. I find this sad because I thought we were supposed to be transcending the gender binary. I know saying this makes me sound anti-feminist, but I'm not. I'm not saying "oh we need to transcend the gender binary by never criticizing men or ignoring how women are victimized"; that would be stupid. but my vision of feminism is vigilantly critical of all things, evaluates each situation on an individual basis, and avoids self-flattery and self-deception.