#i'm literally just existing and wasting space at this point in my life

[certifiedtrashmouth]

random rant below the cut and in the tags please just ignore me while i scream into the void

i wasn't feeling great tonight and didn't attend my biology class (i was feeling feverish and coughing - negative for covid but positive for being a lil bitch), and my biology professor won't let me make up the lab. a class i pay for, and i miss one lab, and she says i'll have to take the zero because i was sick. immediately, my attendance points and the 0 she input for my lab knocked me down to a B, and even if I score perfectly on the rest of my exams, labs, and quizzes (highly unlikely considering i usually get a b on her quizzes), i'll barely be able to snag an a. if i am a perfect student who perfectly understands the concepts, i will barely get a fucking a. because i missed one night of class. a class i pay for. because i missed a fucking lab, and she doesn't like to schedule around doing make up labs. this is the same teacher who is shit at lectures. who lets us out hours in advance which means i'm paying for a three hour class and only receiving an hour of actual in class time.

some people should not be teachers. if i had known, i'd probably opt for online over this shit show.

[blackmoonoracle]

PICK A CARD - MASCULINE WOUNDS

You can find my brief breakdown of masculine energy in the natal chart here. Tip Jar

PILE 1

tw: sexual trauma

Anger and sex drive, the people in this particular collective may have experienced sexual trauma at any point in time that has developed into an issue with emotional security. In order to heal you need to learn how to develop trust in your perception, self expression, decision making, and any chronic pain or issues need to be given more thought and care. Not accepting the bare minimum, not pushing yourself for the sake of others, not letting others take your power.

Taking your power back for the sake of yourself.

This is an energy of being conscious of chronic issues, extreme trauma, healing from extreme abuse and allowing yourself to let go of the cycle of releasing your power in order to survive. You are not helpless, you are not incapable, you are not weak, you are not bad, you are not a waste of space, energy, words, time, effort, or love. You are a worthy being, you have earned your place, your reputation, your successes, and your desired future. You have suffered a lot, in some way shape or form.

This could've been mental or sexual anguish in pre teen years.

Feeling almost disgusting or gross for existing as a sexual being. Disdain for sex, astonishment I heard as well? I feel like there is potential religious trauma regarding sex in this pile.

There may also be a sense of pain or confusion about life in general, perhaps you are someone who struggles with feeling destined for failure. Like part of you still doesn't believe that you're not destined to suffer, you've learned so much and I feel like a lot of you are like older gen z or late teens.

It feels like you've always felt very judged, and very misinterpreted. Like others could've been offended by your mere presence. Something about the way you thought, or spoke, or expressed yourself was or is very upsetting for people. You're not afraid to talk about the truth? Is the exact way I'm hearing it be described.

You have very powerful voice, and your words pack a punch in more than one way.

Your words project veryyy quickly into your reality, and I heard "reaffirming reality" as well, treating your brain like a science project I heard? LMAO it's giving aquarius 😭

So do mirror affirmations, some of you could have an affinity towards mirror magick. That being said handle that carefully, and know to be careful in approaching that. Make sure you're researching and covering your bases. I heard Aphrodite, so Aphrodite could be trying to work with someone. I also heard keep your peace, so chill out, don't engage with anyone. You're in the process of taking back your power so sometimes people act up. LITERALLY not a you problem, and if they make it a you problem stand your goddamn ground and show that person, no matter who they are, what role they play in your life, that you are under no circumstances going to continue to take their shit. The universe is testing you, lock tf in and don't worry about anyone else. Worry about YOU and YOUR DREAMS, and YOUR DESIRES. Plant the seeds that truly matter to YOU, you won't know if it works until you try it. Don't be afraid to do what you're passionate about. Don't be afraid to be yourself, your authenticity really resonates with others in some way shape or form. It's how you connect with people, you show them that being yourself is a lot less painful that you'd think.

This could be black Moon Lilith in cancer and Scorpio or 4th and 8th house Chiron energy. you could be a cancer rising, some of you could have a leo descendant? I heard polish and German as well for some others, someone could be polish another person could be German. If this pile resonated and you'd like to purchase a personal reading on this topic you can purchase one for just 55$ or send over a tip on Venmo or Kofi if the message resonated and helped in some way! https://ko-fi.com/blackmoonoracle @blackmoonoracle is my Venmo!

PILE 2

Self Worth, and Value/Honorary Systems This collective has very powerful values. This could be Taurean, or Aquarian energy, possibly also Aries. You could be mars dominant or have a prominent mars in your natal chart. Your mars may also be in the 11th, or 2nd house! Or you could have Uranus in the 2nd house or Venus in the 11th house. Suffice to say this could also be mars in Taurus, or Aquarius as well. 2nd house Venus, or 11th house aquarius. There's something with individualism in this pile as well. A lot of deeply practical energy, possibly very venusian as well. Could have Venus in pisces, or Venus-neptune interactions in the natal chart. You could have Venus in Taurus, or you could have Venus in aries I'm hearing. You are going on a deep journey of transforming your masculine will. Understanding you are worthy of making your creations, that what you create is valuable and is of quality. You are worthy of abundance, you are worthy of success. I feel like there could've been a sense of detachment since a very young age for this pile. It feels like affection could've always been a touchy subject. I'm also seeing a connection to religion here, especially with Venus being in Virgo. Virgo Venus has always reminded me of catholicism due to the very intricate and detail oriented nature of Catholic symbolism. As well as the emphasis on purity, which is an aspect of Virgo. Seeing as it is the virgin. This can also look like your love always coming with deep criticism. Perhaps you could've felt like the ways in which you expressed love were not respected. Or you could've felt like there was a feminine presence that seemed to bring you a great sense of regret. It feels like a self criticism wound. It feels like a disconnection from the mind in order to attain purity. Like, this pile could feel that they need to fully embody some aspect of a pure, or virginesque energy in order to be worthy of recognition?

Soooo specific, but hey! if it resonates it resonates. There's a deep wound here in regard to knowing how to accept help. It's like accepting help in your mind makes you feel like you're worthless, or as if you are not contributing enough. It's like you feel the need to contribute the most, so that others know you are serious and worth taking serious. Being undermined, minimized, having your values be overlooked, or being seen as unremarkable could've been something you struggled deeply with. I see a lot of pain dealing with women here. Significant Mother wounds that could've led to these wounds in your masculinity. Perhaps experiencing silencing, being forced to not do, say, act, or be in some way shape or form because it is "unsightly" or "shameful" Being disregarded, possibly some bullying here, feeling like an outsider. Like no one could grasp your values, your morals, who you TRULY are.

Almost feeling like you lack an identity.

finding balance in yourself, learning how to accept that you are worthy of being helped. That being helped does not make you unworthy, that being helped is something that is okay, that accepting care, and nurturing, and love is a good thing. starving yourself of intimacy in hopes that by taking the lashings of yourself, and others, while remaining in this "pure" state of being will finally make you worthy of being seen. vision is a general thing here. You may feel like your vision doesn't come to light, or that others don't understand your vision. It's unique, it's you, it's not what everyone else might expect of you. You're groundbreaking, no one could ever be you, learning how to be in love with your individuality. Accepting what makes you weird, and accepting yourself in spite of the way others feel. Knowing that accepting yourself is the deepest form of self connection and that you deserve to feel loved and supported.

Accepting that the embodiment of authenticity may cause issues in connections with people who cannot accept themselves or live in their own truth.

Understanding that you can find purity in your search for your authentic self, authentic truth, and your life purpose. Through embodying yourself in your truth.

If this pile resonated and you'd like to purchase a personal reading on this topic you can purchase one for just 55$ or send over a tip on Venmo or Kofi if the message resonated and helped in some way! https://ko-fi.com/blackmoonoracle @blackmoonoracle is my Venmo!

PILE 3

You may feel stuck in what you were once defined as, as if other people's perceptions of you cut extremely deeply. Your honor is important to you, you like for things to run smoothly. It's important to you to feel secure in who you are and how you express yourself.

I think that, it would be significantly healthy for this pile to learn what makes them feel passionate.

Maybe you feel that you are judged harshly, or in response to a harsh judgmental world you disconnect from yourself. Extreme self consciousness, fear of being "naked" or "vulnerable". Fear of connecting with yourself and others. Fear of relying on or connecting with your community. Feeling like an outcast, impostor syndrome. Lack of self awareness, TOO much self awareness. Untraceable, or difficult to uncover pain. Not understanding the root of things. Beauty that feels skin deep, unrealized depth, and unfulfilled potential. Learning who you are, finding the drive to connect with yourself. Understanding what it means to be you, and that you have to choose yourself at some point in order to lessen suffering. Fear of risk, and Fear of reward, a very loud self critic.

Accepting and acknowledging the mother wound in order to integrate and heal it. Connecting with earth, trusting nature, allowing yourself to think about the things you fear most. Understanding that you cannot hide from certain truths, and that looking the other way doesn't make it go away. There's a song that went viral on TikTok by MGMT called Little Dark Age. I specifically channeled the part that's like "Forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain, just know that if you hide- it doesn't go away."

Having to understand that you are not responsible for other people, you are not Jesus, why do you bare the cross. Why do you punish yourself for not meeting the "standards" that others are projecting onto you. Are they standards, or are they control tactics, is it manipulation? Are you in alignment with YOUR thoughts, feelings, and desires? Or are you taking on the thoughts, feelings, desires, and expectations of others who want to strip you of your individuality?

Transforming your self concept, looking at what traits, qualities, and authentic self expressions are ACTUALLY in alignment with your highest good & will call in passion, success, happiness, and stability into your life?

Being proud of your intelligence, your ability to perceive, to be know how to think outside of the box.

Having a lot of eccentric natured personality traits and understanding that those are attractive to others. That what makes you different is what makes you likeable, because it's what's uniquely you. Embodying your truest self form, writing affirmations. Creating lists and notes of the hard to integrate topics and realizations in order to make them more tangible.

Excessive mental energy, very deeply tapped into divine creative expressions. Having blessed thoughts, words, and ways. Knowing that you deserve your blessings, and that you are a generator of luck and karma. That you have to ability to move mountains.

Taking it less personal when people throw rocks from glass homes, knowing that you are worthy of better, worthy of more, worthy of success. Feeding your hunger to succeed, knowing that you have the skill, knowledge, creative drive, and capability to connect with others through your art and creativity.

Uncovering what beauty means to you?

I heard Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo, PIsces, cancer, Gemini, mercury, Sagittarius, 9th house, 6th and 5th house.

Sun in aquarius, Moon in Taurus/Capricorn, Moon in gemini, Moon in Aries, Moon-mars aspects.

Mother Gaia

Disconnected from ancestors and spirit team, but willing to learn and receive.

Looking for a new outlook, looking for a way out, remaining steadfast and faithful in what you believe.

Not allowing others to dictate your thoughts, feelings, or reality.

Co-Creating with divine consciousness.

If this pile resonated and you'd like to purchase a personal reading on this topic you can purchase one for just 55$ or send over a tip on Venmo or Kofi if the message resonated and helped in some way! https://ko-fi.com/blackmoonoracle @blackmoonoracle is my Venmo!

[jessequinnfirstofhername]

So... Safe Space? anonymous Hazbin hotel?? Hot take? people might try and burn me alive about it.

Lucifer is so utterly and completely annoying, a waste of air.

like I only have so much patience for oh No Sad woobie Lucifer trope.(thanks Paradise Lost)

but even as is..... bleh. blah.

Kill it. fun singing, fun designs, duckies are good jokes but KILL IT.

let Charlie rule in hell after Father is slain, it be alot of fun!

Also will someone deal with the whole Charlie never did direct sin so might as a half angel/human spirit/demon? just be able to live in Heaven.

gimme that Charlie angst that SHE is free and clear to enjoy paradise if she actually forsakes them a little, with a helping of meeting the Sinners victims in life, actually seeing the consequences.

Charlies facing her sheer power, prosperity and that SHE could be in a comfortable bubbly of safety and literal Paradise but still CHOSES the no I WILL help to Sinners even AFTER confronting what they actually did.

gimme little Charlie all bruised up by life that still got some grit in her eye and is going to WORK at it.

cracked head canon hazbin hotel. no one to disprove is so cannon functionally about to put the thanks I hate it in ya life, I apologize but must share. get it out. only grace is think Doylist, think Doylist. but if Watsonian..... have we considered the fact that Lucifer might be the literal First Groomer/pedophile depending on the Garden? like from first principles the ancient immortal, super powerful being mucking about with the first born people, literally the youngest, weakest, stupidest creatures in all of existence at that time. Literally could not create a bigger age gap from anyone at that time. So that. but also like comparatively, the barest grace is literally hoping the immortal was not messing around with like, teenager, Lord knows a Child (the FIRST teenagers the horror.) also like, did god have to tell them what Sex was, did sex exist yet at that time, did angels have to teach the little humans the first ABC talk. So that. these are dumbass thoughts that keep me up at night. And no one CONSIDERS it which drive me NUTS. Lucifer should be THE scummy person, literally wrote the first book on it but oh no duckies! blegh. this has been my Ted talk on Kill Lucifer let Charlie Reign my little Sunshine.

My confessional is here for all the hot takes, no matter how controversial, no matter how much I may disagree with them.

Obviously I'm going to disagree with that. I think that Hazbin Hotel's Lucifer is a perfectly likable, fun character. Also, it's just plain hilarious to see an interpretation of The Devil who's such a dork.

(That being said, the 'oh no sad woobie Lucifer trope' is a great name for all those versions of Lucifer who spend all their time moping around about how God was super unfair to them)

Your point about Charlie, however, is very interesting. It would be fascinating and add so much depth to Charlie's character if she was actually eligible for eternal paradise... all she has to do is forsake the very people she swore to help to get there.

Then again, wouldn't abandoning her people to literally rot in Hell be a black mark against Charlie's soul? This is a fascinating line of thinking...

Also, it would be interesting to see Charlie meet the victims of the people she's sworn to help. How would that make her feel? Would it cause her conviction in her mission to waver?

From what we've seen, Adam, Lilith, and Eve came into existence as fully-formed adults. So no, Lucifer is not a predator. There are certainly a lot of questions to be raised about how moral it was for Lucifer to fool around with such (at the time) innocent people, however.

Hey, the duckies are adorable, they make us willing to overlook a lot!

I don't agree with your viewpoint, but you have a lot of interesting ideas, Anon!

Thanks for the confession!

-Jesse xx

[fractualized]

hi I sent that last ask and I appreciate you so much. I love how chill you are. I love that you speak up and aren't afraid of others people's opinions of you -- because you talking about that helps me realize exactly what you were talking about about.

my critical online space that shaped my brain was Tumblr growing up, much in the same way reddit or 4chan or anything else was for others, and as positive as it was and as much as I stay here, there were some HEAVY years of thought policing and performing perfectly at all times and I really think it fucked with my head!

not to trauma dump, but the way it related to starting off by policing each other in fandom just happened to spill into every other aspect of my life too. every thing is black and white. every interaction is perfect or you are flawed and not worth anything at all. people literally judging you off stupid fandom shit behind a fake name dressed up in sparkles and curiosity was enough to call you a monster who deserved to be alone. the fuck??

from fandom cops telling me that portrayals of fictional characters in my head were an actual meter that we can base if we're deserving of human connection made me think about what ELSE could be important. aren't there things a little more pressing than fictional characters?? the words I use. the way I behave. move my face. micro express, leave pauses in sentences, judged by everything! I've been taught that the LITTLEST OF INDICATIONS OF HUMANITY were going to be the death of me. I couldn't exist. all because of fictional themes that creators are allowed to make, but fans are not allowed to enjoy unless it's the "right way". even though the people CREATING it are also exploring it. rules for thee but not for me.

it's gross. I felt like a monster and when the only other people who are kind to you are monsters, it really makes you wonder why fandom cops find themselves so much morally superior to others 👹

People have told me I'm chill before and I'm always like, "excellent, they can't tell I'm yelling on the inside." 😂

Sometimes I wonder if I would be different if the show Heroes hadn't ended as such a clusterfuck. And by that I mean that my experience with that show ended on such a sour note, I wound up drifting away from fandom for 5-ish years. And it wasn't because of the Heroes fandom itself! It was because by the end I was hate-watching the show, and that kind of headspace is just no good. I wasted too much energy being mad at something that wasn't going to improve, and my other fandom interests weren't strong enough for fic, etc. I still lurked here and there, but otherwise I focused on life stuff.

At the point I left, tumblr was popular but I was still a livejournal (and journalfen) holdout. As a result, I was simply absent during the most intense tumblr years. I have a general idea of what it was like from everyone's descriptions, but from my point of view, five years passed, Telltale Batman: the Enemy Within came a-calling, I started writing fic again, and uhhhhh things sure were different.

Not entirely for the worse. For one thing, as someone who unavoidably grew older, yeah, I do keep in mind that there are children running around these parts. The increased focus on tagging your work is also good, so people can avoid what they don't want to see. And it's just always been a good general rule to be mindful when getting into sensitive topics, and I was seeing more of that.

Buuuuuuuut yeah, with that it seemed like "don't like; don't read" was out, and witch hunting was in. Some slight mistake might indicate you were actually one of the Bad Ones all the long! And everyone must know! I mean, there's always been fandom police, but fandom's mainstreamification definitely made it worse for a host of reasons. And I actually was unnerved by it for a while, even though the Enemy Within finale had me indulging in fluff. I was probably safe-- but then again who knows what blunder or improper deference to a sensitive subject could bring a swarm of strangers!

But eventually I was fluffed out, and chatting batjokes with people was giving me new ideas that would have me explore and indulge in (gasp) darker ideas. And by that point I was just like, I'm a freaking adult. I tag my shit. I'm here to have a good time with people I like, not worry about a bunch of randos who probably get as much anxiety making a cold call as I do. And yeah, why are fans supposed to be judged on a different metric than the creators?? I'm going to do what I want!

And with that rallying cry… I mean, nothing ever happened. 😂 Not the first time I've built up worries in my head for nothing.

I can see it taking me longer to get to that point if I'd fully marinated in the thought policing, though. I think people get that instinct because of the age-old lack of control elsewhere in life (especially nowadays, with all the… everything). Surely if someone can get everyone in their orbit to behave in just this way, then at least things there will be okay. Nothing bad will happen! (It's not as if rigid mindsets hurt people and their relationships, or performatively good people still do atrocious things. No, surely not.)

I don't have a good closing, so here's an Reno 911 icon from the old days:

[acti-veg]

Every time I see nonvegans calling us racist and saying we value non human animals over humans and talking about how indigenous people are often in situations where they need to hunt to survive (despite most of the people making this argument not being indigenous themselves), I think about this video we watched in my freshwater ecology class in uni that talked about the impacts of animal agriculture on freshwater systems and the disproportionate impacts it has on indigenous communities. This video had real indigenous people talking about the real life impacts nearby animal farms have on them and their community. In it they talked about how they feared for their health, how they were seeing how the pollution animal ag. caused deteriorated their quality of life, how they would beg the farmers to not spread their animals waste on certain days and how they would catch the farmers doing so purposefully on those days.

It just makes me feel so sick seeing this primarily nonindigenous audience so self assuredly talk over indigenous voices about their own issues and pat themselves on the backs while doing things that actively support and contribute to the issue. I'm white and I would never dream of trying to have a voice in the vegan debate in indigenous spaces because it's just not my place, and yet nonvegans feel so entitled to do so and think they are fighting against racism in bulldozing over actual indigenous people.

So many of these people talk about indigenous culture and lives in such an abstract way too. It reminds me of how health teachers in schools talk about LGBT+ people. Talking about them like their existence is theoretical and purely for the sake of discussion rather than a group of real living people. It's just so dehumanizing. And yet we are the ones who don't care. Literally all I want in life is for people to care about one another and for everyone do try and do their best to live in a way that is kind to others and minimalizes harm to all living things. But the people calling that wish racist won't do the bare minimum and listen to the people saying that this industry is actively hurting them.

The really important thing to avoid getting really angry over stuff like this is to remember that it's actually just an elaborate show for them. Nobody who has done even a cursory amount of research into the biggest threats to indigenous communities would be defending animal agriculture and blaming it on vegans; its all just a performative sham.

What it comes down to is the fact that they can't deal with our argument so they try to make us somehow Problematic so that they can cloak their discomfort in the language of social justice. It's the most banal and predictable response that it's not even worth getting annoyed over. They don't actually care about indigenous people, or quinoa farmers, or whatever else is their talking point of the week; they're just playing dress-up.

The indigenous people, the farmers, the 'children picking our crops' are not real people to them, they're just pawns. Sometimes they are literally made up, as happened with the quinoa argument, which somehow evolved from a clickbait article about Peruvian farmers being priced out due to western demand, to quinoa being picked by child slaves - which was never even the claim of the original (now widely debunked) article. They actually, frequently make up slaves to get mad over rather than discussing recognising any of the real victims of animal agriculture. That is the level of cognitive disonance that we are dealing with.

This performance is mostly directed at themselves and each other, rather than us, because what we advocate for presents a challenge to their identity as good people, as social justice advocates, as leftists, as animal lovers. It's why we see so much applause for bizarre and blatantly untrue claims circulated here every week, and so much aggression over seemingly obvious, basic facts when presented by vegans. If you can understand that it is just for show then you can put it in the proper context and find it pitiable rather than infuriating.

[aq2003]

it is literally canon that Martha stayed with Ten even though she knew he didn’t love her back. she stayed because she was in love with him. you can think whatever you want in fan spaces, but staying with him for love is exactly what she did. Ten was an ass to Martha in so many ways during this season, I think he coped with being the object of her desire (and even bragged about it to Donna).

sorry i'm putting my foot down here. anon we are watching different shows because in the very first episode ten is uncomfortable and shuts her down the minute he catches that martha has an interest in him. he (as stated by david tennant) spends nearly the entire season unaware of her crush. "i don't think he's [aware of her feelings for him]. i don't think he'd do that otherwise. i think he gets aware as the season rumbles on" — but even then, he still has that line in sound of drums where he goes "it's like when you fancy someone and they don't know you exist" to her. you could interpret this in either one of two ways, either he's trying his hardest to ignore her crush and is acting like it doesn't exist, or he honest to god still does not know. and when we're talking about a character that has a famously long history of being not involved in romance or being unaware of standard romantic conventions, the fact that he isn't aware of how she feels (however long that may be, but we know it extends over a majority of their time together) makes much more sense than... i dont even know. going out of your way to make someone fall in love with you but the moment you think she's in love with you you go "what the fuck! don't do that! back off!". like??!? and as someone who has been the object of an unrequited crush from one of my close friends before, it's difficult to look back on this person without thinking about it or feeling guilty over it. this is exactly what the scene with ten and donna reads like to me; they're talking about the relationship ten and martha had and he brings it up bc it's been directly on his mind (he's fucking tactless about it but being tactless is like one of his primary personality traits!). it's one of the reasons she left him! it's the reason why he rejects donna initially before finding out she wasn't interested in him! i'm not trying to say that their relationship was healthy or that s3 ten did nothing wrong or whatever but god will you all kill him for the crimes he actually committed

as for martha, i feel like you're misunderstanding the point i was making about her and i already got into arguments in two separate posts over it so i'll just leave it at "if you think her crush is her only personality trait and the only reason she chooses to stay with ten is /thinking he'll eventually fall in love with her back/ then please get well soon". look at shakespeare code when after ten compares her to rose and says he'll take her back home she sarcastically goes "great!" or at the beginning of gridlock when she goes "ever heard of the word 'rebound'?" (i could write another long post about this line but that's not the point rn) - she isn't having a good time! she knows ten isn't treating her very well! but the reason she doesn't want it to be "just one trip" isn't bc she's romantically pursuing him (which is the point i specifically took issue with) or even bc of her crush, it's bc she knows ten is grieving—he lost his home planet, his people, his kind-of-girlfriend and just needs someone with him and SHE KNOWS THAT! BETTER THAN HE DOES! look at family of blood: she's asked why she's his companion and she answers "because he's lonely". she KNOWS he needs her and as a character established from day 1 to be someone learning to save people for a living i don't think it's a massive stretch to say that she's not 100% in it for herself. if you take the show at face value, it's saying that martha is straight up wasting the years of her life and isn't getting nearly as much out of her friendship with ten the way he is with her. this extends to multiple areas of their relationship. and forgive me if i'm being too fucking bold but "thinking whatever you want in fan spaces" is a mentality you treat shipping with, not "analyzing the character writing of a writer first and foremost known and praised for his character writing"

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I've noticed that PJMs REALLY hate jikook and jkkrs, I've literally even seen some of them parrot taekook narratives and rhetoric about Jungkook not liking Jimin and such (which is crazy to me, why would they ever believe anything tkkrs of all people have to say about something related to JM!). Even though JJK1 was just announced, I've seen a whole portion of them raging about jkkrs suddenly today. They're also saying most of them are JK biased, but I'm pretty confident the majority of jkkrs are JM biased actually, and I thought that was well known. Do you think there's a specific reason it's like this? I feel like a lot of KTHs and JJKs are tkkrs, or at least have gotten along with them. But it's definitely not the same with PJMs and jkkrs.

***

Hi Anon,

Just as a general rule, I'm incapable of taking solo stans of any member seriously. There are some groups in k-pop where it makes sense to be a solo stan. But for a group like BTS, to be a solo stan is an automatic failed IQ and EQ test, in my opinion. And PJMs are no exception.

So, I kinda don't want to waste any time on this ask given the subject is PJMs / solo stans, but you sent this ask a while ago and I'm in a mood... I'll take a gander at it.

Why do PJMs hate Jungkook, jikook, and jokers?

The self-inserts who recognize that Jungkook is a real and constant presence in Jimin's life, and likely will always be. Jungkook is a person who many times occupies the space many imagine a spouse or significant other would take with Jimin. A lot of people in the fandom see this, including PJMs, and for the solo stans who love Jimin a little too much, Jungkook's very existence is a thorn in their side.

The psychos with zero sense of boundaries who have deluded themselves into thinking they get a say in determining what is best for Jimin. Some PJMs don't think Jungkook is a good friend to Jimin, much less a good spouse/partner. They find him inadequate of being paired with their god, Jimin, by their personal arbitrary standards. JK doesn't shower Jimin with enough attention, affection, deference, reverence, etc, by their own standards. They hold every slight or minor disagreement jikook have ever had, against Jungkook in perpetuity, because how dare he act like a teenage boy talking back to Jimin (or whatever) when he should be glad the mighty Jimin breathed in his direction?

The overprotective mother hens who feel powerless to hold Jimin antis responsible in their stan environments, so they transfer the blame to Jungkook. Some JJKs suffer from the above two mental ailments plaguing PJMs, and are objectively disgusting towards Jimin. Of course none of that is Jungkook's fault, but some PJMs choose to blame him for their behaviour anyway. This faction of solo stans (and shippers) who act like this are so pathetic, I won't waste any more time getting into it.

Jikookers get heat from PJMs because they celebrate a relationship that most PJMs view through the lens of the above three points. Jokers are automatically bad for wanting Jimin in a relationship that is obviously bad (see above), and what's worse is jokers don't really support Jimin enough (based on the standards set by solo stans...).

Some shippers (and jikookers) are vile fetishizers, and are legitimately hated by anyone with half a working brain, at least, and so like a broken clock that's right twice a day, PJMs sometimes sniff out the jikookers who honestly belong in a jail cell. Here, I say the hate is justified. But again, that's more the exception to the rule.

In terms of bias splits with jikookers, what I've observed is most are double biased with Jimin and Jungkook. Taekookers however swing more fully to being majority Tae-biased, and the fall out from the Taennie reveal more or less confirms that for me. The JJKs who get along with KTHs are able to do that better than with PJMs, because I doubt any of them see Taehyung as real competition to Jungkook. To be blunt. Jimin has always pulled in significant attention for his unusual tone and feather-light vocals, his dancing ability is peerless, and his personality endears him to everyone who comes across BTS. Jimin reigned supreme in Korea and internationally in terms of popularity since debut, and in the last 5 years, has shared this more with Jungkook, and to a lesser degree with Taehyung. With Tae, it's only since 2017 I saw an uptick in his popularity within the fandom and outside it, and his Chinese fanbase since 2018 has been a big reason for this, actively working to match his status with Jimin and Jungkook. But even then, at least in Korea, Jungkook's only real competition in BTS is Jimin, and so his solo stans have a harder time getting along with PJMs, than with KTHs. This isn't something I usually pay attention to because I'm not nearly as sensitive to it as solo stans are, but I've got eyes and can see.

Anyway...

With a group like BTS, there are certain people who are guaranteed to always be angry and/or miserable for as long as the group is active - and yes BTS as a group is still active in Chapter 2. These types of people include homophobes; the mantis who believe they know how to manage BTS better than BigHit; people who don't like ARMY or don't like BTS mentioning ARMY; and solo stans of every variety; among others. Anyone with any of these inclinations is bound to either stop following BTS and k-pop completely, or will end up as a full blown anti who spirals further into degeneracy.

I'd ignore them if I were you, though in Chapter 2 I can understand why this could be difficult to do.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! Do you have some advices to deal with 'this one opinion'?. When everyone likes your stuff and you are happy with it too, but this one person didn't like/said smth bad, and then you are in spiral that everyone's pretending and actually this one just had the balls to say the truth? I'm struggling and you are in this for a long time, so maybe you have some advices? Take care <3

Hi anon!

It might help to know a little bit of science here.

Humans have what's called an in-built negativity bias. This means that when two things exist, one negative, and one positive, of equal weight, humans will biologically/cognitively automatically give the negative one a lot more weight. No one escapes this, and you're experiencing something extremely universal.

Human beings are also likely to think that negative words are more negative than often intended, and that positive words are less positive than intended.

Because this is in-built, it often requires conscious work to overcome. Many authors on AO3 as an example know the experience of one shitty comment 'undoing' how good all the previous comments felt. It only takes one person saying 'I really didn't like this story' for many authors to trick themselves into thinking this a) must then be universally true and then b) no one else actually likes the story or it doesn't mean anything to them, even when there's literally words right there that strongly suggest otherwise.

The first thing is to acknowledge your negativity bias and that your brain is kind of lying to you. It's doing this to try and protect you from harm, but in a way that's actually hurting you, because brains do stuff that don't actually help us all the time. The reality is that the vast majority of people do not waste their time and 'lie' in comments about how much they like something, because everyone has more important things to do in their life. They're only going to say something positive, for the most part, if they think what they've experienced is positive enough to warrant that. This is more and more true the less well you know someone.

The second thing is to then remind yourself that something negative isn't more true just because it's negative. This is also negativity bias in action! It feels more true, but emotions =/= actual reality - they're real in that 'they are very real and valid when I feel them, but I might not want to make big decisions about other people's thoughts and actions based on them, especially when negativity bias is active.'

And then the third thing is to just remind yourself that everyone is experiencing this. Right now thousands, maybe tens of thousands of creators - artists, authors, show-writers, poets, comedians, sports people, etc. are literally experiencing this right this second. Anon, all your favourite celebrities have likely experienced this (unless they're complete asshats who don't care about other people). Your favourite writers, artists, and more have experienced this. Would you tell any of those people whose works and creations you love, to listen to the few haters that come after them? Do you think they should go 'oh, that means everyone else is lying to me.'

Of course we feel pretty down sometimes. Because I have the ability to delete negative comments, if I get some hate, I tend to delete it. I don't want to see it again. It's my prerogative because my AO3 account and my Tumblr account etc. are 'my space.' When it comes to hateful book reviews, I...don't read my book reviews anymore and haven't for a long time. (I got misgendered too often, even in the nice reviews, so I just stopped).

And then create like a document or notes page or something to write down the positive things you've heard and actually reread them sometimes.

Sometimes negative comments are actually useful. Someone pointing out an incidence of actual racism (like, unintentional, but still happening) or something that is culturally offensive in a story can help us to consider editing the story or change the way we write about that subject. Someone saying they couldn't read a story because of all the typos, might get us to use some free editing software.

For the most part negative comments aren't worth your time. You can't make everyone like your stuff anon. People are going to hate your stuff. That's reality. It's completely inescapable.

But if more people like or enjoy or love your stuff, that's how you know you're on the right track. <3

If your goals in the world are to have most people enjoy what you do, you're already achieving that. One negative comment feels like a bit of a hit (or a lot of one), but it's a cognitive bias that's quite detached from reality. When you take it really personally, it's often a sign to just disconnect and reconnect with loved ones. Talk to a friend, hang out with a loved one, watch something you really love (and even remind yourself that some people hate that thing lol and you wouldn't want those people to stop what they love doing either because it means you couldn't watch the thing you love otherwise), get some rest. Our brains lie to us more and more loudly if we a) are tired, b) are dehydrated, c) haven't been eating or eating well, d) have certain mental illnesses, e) have certain chronic illnesses that cause pain or fatigue.

So addressing all of these factors can help a bit too.

And, I hate to say it, some of it's just practice. I've been doing this for long enough I've lost count of how many hateful things I've heard about my writing. They all still hurt. Some can ruin my day. Some will make me not write that day. Some still play in the back of my mind when I'm feeling really insecure. But they used to ruin my week or month so, like, progress. *sad smile*

But they're still not the majority of the people who talk to me about my writing therefore... negativity bias in action! Very interesting to know about, very horrible to experience!!

[teaveetamer]

I am curious, I've been watching the discourse going on for a bit without getting involved and at this point I feel like I have to ask.

What is the desired result here? Why are you engaging in the discourse at all? Clearly this is not a discussion, so what do you gain from interacting at all?

(I will send this to several people, just out of curiosity)

Alright anon allow me to explain what's been going on with me on my end.

The year is 2019 (yes, we're doing this). FE3H has just come out. I play it and rather enjoy it actually. I've got a couple of ships that I'm into, some fanfic I want to write, etc.

I go onto Reddit to chat with people about the game. Now I don't really like Edelgard, but I'm chill, I'm open to discussing the game and getting alternate viewpoints. Initially it's more or less fine.

Then some posts start coming up. People start getting really aggressive about this. I'm trying to have a conversation, but it feels like their goal is just to shout me down. I get in arguments, I get in fights, I get misgendered, I get called a bigot, I get frustrated, I get ablest rhetoric spewed at me, and I waste my life.

Stop. Take a look at myself. I'm literally sitting here arguing about Edelgard von fucking Hresvelg for hours of my day. I'm annoyed, I'm irritated, I'm always in a bad mood. Ugh.

Now it's 2020, early times I think. I resolve to stop looking at Reddit so much with regard to this game. It's not worth the hassle and the frustration. I should be, like, out doing things and having fun not wasting my time arguing with a bunch of weirdos on the internet. I want to have fun again, not be angry. I delete the Reddit app from my phone and install a blocker on my web browsers, even.

Start using Tumblr for more than just shippy stuff, and find people who agree with me, who are saying the things I've been saying. I stop feeling crazy for liking the game the way I like it. I make a few posts on my main blog but you know what, I don't really want my main blog embroiled in this shit, though I want to add my voice to the conversation. So I make this side blog.

Make some posts. I get flooded with asks from other people about the game, saying they agree with me and they're thankful that they aren't the only ones who think the way I do. I think within like a month of existing this blog had double the posts of my main blog (which has existed since 2016, so for four years at that point), most of them from asks.

The blog was initially for me to vent and throw in my two cents here and there, but I figure I'll keep it around in regular use because people seem to be benefiting from it.

Early on I tried to establish a rule for myself that 1) I wasn't going to go looking in any main tags (e.g. the Edelgard or Edelgard Positive tags) for stuff to reblog or talk about, and 2) I wasn't going to go into any Edelgard specific spaces looking for stuff to talk about (e.g. r/Edelgard or even Dimitri-critical tags). However, anything maintagged that was looking for a fight (e.g. a Dimitri-critical post in the main Dimitri tag) was fair game.

I'm not perfect, but I did try to stick to that rule. I talked about things that happened on the main FE Sub or FEH sub. I did my best to encourage my anons to not go seeking out stuff to bring back to me from Edelgard spaces. After all, this blog was meant for venting and having my own personal space where I could talk about my views without getting accosted. I thought it would be petty for me to go bring back stuff from other places.

Moving into 2021, I was kind of done with 3H. I was still getting like dozens of asks a day about 3H discourse. I'd answer one and five more would pop up in their place. By now we're like, well beyond 3x or 4x the amount of posts I have on my main blog. I'm getting kind of tired of it. It's a lot of the same points over and over and over. We're in pandemic times, so I can't even walk away from it and do something else IRL for a while before coming back to it. I feel like I'm wasting my life again. I feel like I've said anything and everything I could have possibly said about the subject. I ask people to stop talking to me about Edelgard. Eventually, everyone mostly obliges.

I still chat about it here and there, but I'm chatting about other stuff too. This blog is still about venting just about venting about more than 3H. A lot more petty fandom shit in general.

Now we're in, like, 2022. I don't remember exactly, Pandemic Time makes some of this a bit of a blur. I notice a new kid on the block, doing basically what I'd noticed happening on Reddit. Going into the wrong tags. Picking fights. Posting things in the wrong tags. Picking fights.

I'm over it, I'm done, I don't want to deal with this shit anymore. I block the dude. Most people I know block the dude or ignore him. We figure he's new here, he just hasn't learned the etiquette.

He gets increasingly hostile. I'm not really paying that much attention, just getting info about it from the fringes. Again, we figure eventually he'll just go away if we ignore him.

Then Nilsh gets harassed off the platform.

My mutuals are getting increasingly hostile anons and combative reblogs.

At this point I'm relatively unaffected. I guess because I don't tag anything, so he didn't find it.

And you know what? I'm still like "he'll get bored. He'll leave eventually." We were all like "just ignore him, he'll leave eventually."

People try to explain tags to him. Try to help him curate his experience so he quits arguing with people who don't want to talk to him all the time.

Then Moonlitboar gets harassed off of the platform. They take the URL. He's bragging about having done it. He's spreading this vitriol to other platforms and convincing others to join in on the harassment.

And I'm like. Okay. This dude isn't leaving. This is what he wants. His goal isn't to talk about this game—his goal is to hurt us.

I unblock him and respond. We go back and forth. He stops... for a time.

Here's the thing. I didn't re-block him after that, and I didn't do that for a couple of reasons. First, because at this point I'm still hopeful that he's just unaware of what he's doing, and that he'll acknowledge how messed up it was and apologize. I'm all for second chances. The second, because he's dangerous and I'm worried that if I don't keep tabs on him, he's going to try to hurt me.

It's not long until he's doing the same shit again. He tries harassing BWIIDT, he tries harassing FantasyInvader, he tries harassing Ezra, he tries harassing RandomNameless, he tries harassing Emblemxeno, he tries harassing Gascon, he tries harassing people I've literally never even heard of. I keep calling him out, and he tries harassing me. He calls me hysterical, accuses me of acting like a victim. Tries to make me feel stupid and small by saying I don't have anything worth his attention to respond to.

(By the way dude, my point about that was that you were being misogynistic but treating discourse like it was only worth responding to if it came from a man. See, I noticed that you only liked to attack people you thought were cishet white men like yourself, even if we were saying basically the same things at times. The fact that you continue not "debunking" any of my posts doesn't upset me; it proves my point)

He blocks me. I can't say for certain why, but my bet is that he realized people were actually listening to what I had to say, and having a queer woman question the actions he purported to be for the benefit of queer women wasn't a great look for him.

He's still trying to harass me. He's taking screenshots, he's using my name, he's @ ing me. He's casually lying about me. He's using sexist rhetoric implying that I shouldn't be listened to because I'm just too ~in my feelings~ and he's the true victim of my hysterical victimized martyr complex (geez, you sure a a feminist ally for that one, aren't you?)

You know, I did actual research when one of my anons accused him of being a trump supporter and tried to lie about him? I burned an entire evening on that, because I didn't want to be spreading lies about people. Meanwhile he lets his anons casually and repeatedly misgender me without so much as a passing correction, and he hangs out with people who spread lies and slander accusing others of heinous crimes.

And you know what? If I knew it was going to be like this? I'd still waste that evening and correct that anon. It's not about getting a petty win or convincing people he's a bad person for me. It's about being respected.

So to get back to your question. Why am I doing this? Because I have to. Because I know that if I don't he's going to hurt someone else, just like how he hurt Nilsh and Moonlitboar. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, after all. We ignored him and he didn't leave, so now we have to say something.

What's the desired result? I want to be respected, like I've tried to respect them for almost the entirety of this blog's existence. I want my boundaries acknowledged. I want him to stop hurting people for no other reason than to hurt them, because they don't agree with him.

When will I stop? When he stops.

[lorynna]

white woman tears anon from earlier - that's actually fair & i agree with what you said about "white women don't need ass kissing," i think its come to a point where any "defense" of white women (i'm white let me clarify) i feel like i need to clarify that i do not think white privilege *doesn't* exist, i guess that in itself shows the problem. it will already be assumed that whatever i say is white women tears so i need to give a disclaimer that i am not victimizing myself for being a white woman. it makes me feel whiny before even speaking, having an opinion or thoughts is "whining and crying". the self flagellation isn't necessary but i feel obligated to say so otherwise be assumed racist/"karen." i've seen arguments of "don't speak then/we don't need your opinion then" which just turns into an echo chamber and you can't have an actual conversation about anything without it getting shut down immediately. and have women not been told to shut up since literally forever? idk, not the best at describing this because it feels taboo to discuss but hopefully this makes some sense. i'm also not fully versed in the Imane/Angela situation but the hate i've been seeing online is insane, seeing men say "im glad that white girl got hit" like 🫤 is this not just misogyny? men (and many women disappointingly) don't give a shit about women's sports they want to see her get hit because she cried. she cried "white women tears" and she should be hurt for that. this is not giving other women a sour taste in their mouth??

Hello again anon - I'm glad you didn't take my reply negatively - I was worried you might have!

And yes, I totally relate to what you mean about feeling the need to clearly state that you do believe in white privilege before defending any white woman - I did so aswell in my reply to you previously.

Maybe this is more of an online-forum-problem, than when you're talking to someone directly irl. I often find it tiring to have discussions on here because there are so many people not even trying to have a good faith conversation but more so aiming to knock of their daily-life frustrations by twisting or laying words in your mouth you haven't said, just to make it seem like a cheap win when all they did was jump to thoughtless assumptions. - so logically you try to minimize every potential possibility for them to accuse you of anything by thoroughly elaborating on all of your beliefs beforehand.

I myself notice how I care less and less about arguing with people online. If it's a healthy conversation where I feel like I am being respected and I can learn smth from it - then sure but I won't waste my time on engaging in a debate where the whole point is to insult each other and where both are not ready to start with good faith.

In the end it doesn't benefit me and prioritizing one's mental health always goes first. So instead of trying to change people's minds (like i tried when I was younger and more patient and naive) I no longer see any shame in just deleting a person's comment from my blog if they have no constructive criticism but only insults etc. This is my space and if someone violates my boundaries I delete it and be done with it, even though sometimes the desire of sending a snappy reply overtakes.

Don't worry - I get what you're saying.

And thanks for writing again ❤️

[unhingedhearties]

I'm Not Even Supposed to Be Here Today

I should be getting ready for a big family event (that of course has to happen while the new season airs. Good thing there's space on the TV to record the rest of the season) but then THIS catches my eye, and I can't not share it:

I see the name Writer Janine so I know this is going to be good.

Oh! It's been a post or two since I've explained it, so here's a refresher for those who don't know who Writer Janine is. Writer Janine is the Heartie who wasted no time calling Lucabeth breaking up a massacre right after a real world massacre happened and when asked to rethink her choice of words since it was grossly inappropriate, doubled down because the slaughter of innocent people half a world over means nothing to her.

Never. Ever. Forget. That.

So this is what this brilliant mind wrote:

You'll notice a lot of the same words get reused. Hmm... I feel like I've pointed this out before 🤔

Wow, it's almost like Mei and Mike are in love or something. It's almost like Mei's only ever been in an abusive relationship and Mike's in his first real relationship and they're both nervous and happy about it. But other people (real or fictional) can't be happy. That's not allowed! Not when Team Lucas fans are still hurting 7 freaking months after their soap opera didn't end the way they wanted.

Bill Avery... lousy inspector *literally travels to the scene of the crime & figures out Pike's testimony doesn't add up with nothing more than a stopwatch and his own 2 feet.*

😂 This woman watched WCTH, believes this and actually thinks she's a writer. It's like a dog thinking it's people.

disloyal, disloyal, disloyal etc...

Janine, this show doesn't take place on Kashyyyk and the cast isn't made up of Wookiees. No one has a life debt to Lucas. Especially when they've known Elizabeth far longer. And yes, Lucas is a fraud, a crook and con. I'm sorry him being interesting triggers you this much. We like us some bad boys here, not neutered down tea sippers. It's time for him to dip into the whiskey and have a real drink like a man's man.

Little Jack easily transfers affections from his dad for half his life to mom's new guy.

Okay, I've got to say this first. White Americans have the weirdest relationship with the concept of "community". You all claim to want it, you cry about how it apparently doesn't exist anymore, you idolize some long-gone concept of community from "the good old days", but when you actually see what a loving, supportive community of people is (usually from *gasp* large immigrant families) you fall apart. Community isn't going to your mega church once a week to gossip about which families looked at you the wrong way or aren't raising their children in a way you approve of. It's family and friends you trust pitching in, going out of your way to lend your time and help when someone needs it instead of just sending "thoughts and prayers", and doing what you can to create a positive environment not just for your kids, but all the kids around you. Especially with kids that are experiencing difficult circumstances like, I don't know, one parent leaving or dying. Like Elizabeth and LJ.

I remember 30 years ago when people were quoting the phrase "It Takes A Village To Raise A Child" like they were profound scholars, but never put it into practice because the reality of what that means sent them into a tizzy. That's why I love Faith looking after Lilly and the whole Daycare Center plot. Everyone pitches in to help the kids and community grow.

A four year old boy having several positive male role models in his life isn't going to harm him. Lucas wasn't LJ's "dad" for half his life, he was his buddy. And his buddy is still a positive influence in his life. And if it surprises you that LJ has affection for the Mountie that's kind to him and shares the same job as his biological father, I don't know what to tell you (besides that you're a shit writer if you didn't see that coming).

Anyway, how about some of the responses:

Oh Lynne, you sweet summer child. I wish I had your optimism.

Oh my God, we're still doing this!?

Team Lucas Stop Deflecting And Actually Address The Horrible Behavior From Your Side Challenge: Impossible.

Stop. You do not want to be this kind of person. You need to stop ignoring when a handful of people you agree with do awful things and you need to stop bring up the awful behavior of the handful of lunatics from the side you hate as deflection. If you live your life like this, it will come back to bite you in the ass. If you really want to keep acting like this though, I have no problem pinning the reprehensible behavior of people like Janine and Liz onto all Lucas fans. If you want to be this way, I can start saying all Lucas fans think the massacres in the middle east aren't that big of a deal and that Ben Rosenbaum raising money to fight MS really pisses them off. The choice is yours.

"talks down on her ex's love language"

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! I've ranted enough on this post and don't have time to go into this, so I'll leave it up to people who have said it before and better than I could: Love Language is bullshit part 1

Love Language is bullshit part 2

Love Language is bullshit part 3

Love Language is bullshit part Just Go Here

[comfreyhollywings]

there's a tarot reading i did the other day when i talked about you. there's rose incense i'm currently burning. its fragrance hits the back of my throat, and it's welcoming to me. this is a ritual i have always done whenever i want to dedicate my time, space, and energy for you.

the keywords of that reading is: the weight of the world is on your shoulders and i want you to know something.

you are my anchor and have always been it. you know me just as much as i know you; every single side of me. manic, calm, spiraling, or absolutely overjoyed.

you can tell me if i'm overstepping, and feel free to tell me to stop. but here's what i've observed: the world is me. i'm your world.

you haven't said it through words in particular, but you have told me through your actions. i speak prayers and you always answer. every single time without fail. and when i told you i wanted to move towards the next stage in my work and love life, you immediately moved me to a position where i could receive it.

my boyfriend is the month of august, and i am a behavioral technician. as someone still studying the law as an undergraduate, i'm still learning the reigns and that is okay. i pressure myself to be in a position to pay more bills. i'm learning self-care as i order from door dash. i cook more often. sometimes i go manic and immerse myself in scenarios still. i'm seriously considering a second job as a community assistant for a government job.

i joke about my joints popping. the economy of the world. the concept of the self. bam, i get mistaken as someone who's older than i actually am. whether i'm in my thirties or mid twenties.

i'm twenty.

 odd. if it was someone else, i would've thought the world was as their fingertips. the thing is that i've never felt more inadequate before in my life. this inadequacy stains my cheeks and desecrates the stupid part of my brain always craving 'worth'. i have to be worth something.

what i'm really afraid of is not living up to everybody's expectations. but they're not my expectations, are they?

knowing that's me is.. shocking. what /is/ the concept of me??

you had once described me as someone 'aquarian-themed', detached and solitary, but still so loving. dreamy and almost out of this world. remote. you had accurately described what i was like as a person, and i couldn't help but crack a smile. like we were telling an inside joke. it's true i had aquarius placements in my natal chart, but i hadn't thought too much about it until you brought it up.

but the thing is, when you brought it up—you made me realize a key point about myself: i am deathly and deeply afraid. i am scared of human connection. this is why i isolate. and you are reeling me out of this foggy forest, chanting:

'no love however brief is wasted.

no love however brief is wasted.

no love however brief is wasted.'

figuratively, i am kicking and screaming while you drag me out. a part of me wishes it stayed stuck in that forest. except, i know that's just the familiarity talking. isolation is addicting but it makes you a husk of a person; a mere observer as a husk of a person. you don't interact; but that's not the same with others. you'd watch others interact with anything.

so okay, here's what i think. i think you're.. a lot.

not in a way where someone so much as looks at a person and thinks, 'oh, they're a lot!' as a way to otherwise tell them that there's no space in their lives; that they should water themselves down.

love is naturally, a lot. love is the most terrifying, brutal force in existence asides from genuine war. love is what makes you buckle down onto your goddamned country after being bombed, and holding on for dear life while you attempt to protect your citizens. love will naturally correlate with war; and it has always been that way. manic love will either blindside you to the worse, or uplift you in bliss.

there's a literal goddess of love looking out for me; being able to pin me down on the dot while i stare like a deer in headlights.

essentially what i'm trying to say is: being vulnerable has made me realize i don't have to work for love.

isn't that terrifying?

[aprillikesthings]

Now that I've spent a good day thinking about how hot it is when Catra is a terrible person corrupted by setting off a portal, I'm ready to go back to (re)watching her try to be Good lolol

well okay more than one day.

I mean I literally spent the last four? five? days listening to songs off The Downward Spiral over and over while thinking about Catra and practicing my makeup for my Catra cosplay and ordering more of the things I need for it; like literally just staring off into space at work between phone calls thinking about Catra

I'm totally a well-adjusted middle-aged adult, thanks for asking!

Shit where did I even leave off

Oh right

SO HEY if you're new here, I've been rewatching all of the 2018 She-Ra, and I started doing it for fic-writing reasons but predictably I have become deeply obsessed. Anyway these posts sometimes have a lot of asides and commentary and references to other stuff and dumb jokes among a ton of screenshots, also (and it feels odd saying it this close to the end of the show) it's a RE-watch, so there's often spoilers for later bits of the story, also I keep trying NOT to just describe the entire plots of the episodes but I keep failing lol

s5 ep7 Perils of Peekablue

Adora's trying to become She-Ra (without an immanent threat) and then Bow and Glimmer distract her, and then the door opens on Catra and

I literally did a YES YES YESSSS AHAHAH out loud bc this is the point at which Catra just starts OPENLY FLIRTING, as opposed to just uhhhh flirtatiously taunting I suppose lol

like you're SITTING IN HER LAP

Also while rewinding it to watch again I paused it at the most hilarious moment

look at Catra's FACE

help I can't stop laughing but also look at Bow's expression

Glimmer: omg I'm gonna get to see my dad Catra: *gets up and leaves*

But also I make this face when a cat leaves my lap before I wanted them to:

Anyway they're a day out from arriving at Etheria

Adora's trying so hard

BACK ON ETHERIA

YAY IT'S THIS ONE

the intro finally changed!! I can't get a good screenshot but now when Catra (with short hair) and Adora (in She-Ra's new get-up) are fighting they stop much faster and they're both smiling omgggg

and there she is!! with everyone else!!

okay I'm going to take way less screenshots etc of the underwater speakeasy thing because let's be honest: that part of the plot isn't what I'm here for lol

But yeah they're going to the speakeasy thing to get Prince Peekablue who can see to the edges of the galaxy and can maybe tell them where Adora and the others are because they don't know what happened

Oh also Spinarella is chipped and Netossa is realizing something is off/weird about her but doesn't know what

Oh hey! You used to work for Huntara in the Crimson Wastes

Sea Hawk has pissed off approximately half the people in the room it seems (by lighting their ships on fire at some point)

Scorpia and Perfuma are the cutest and I can absolutely see how they end up together

In my fic I originally had Adora talking to some kind of therapist but I wasn't sure they existed on Etheria, and last week I edited that bit so Adora is talking to these two (which makes the conversation more fun AND easier to write anyway)

Perfuma: "Scorpia. You should do things not because you're good at them, but because they make you happy." THAT IS ONE OF MY LIFE PHILOSOPHIES thank you Perfuma you're 100% correct and I tell people this ALL THE TIME

Mermista: "I might've set their boat on fire. Just to see what it felt like."

Sea Hawk:

lolol

YESSSS I love this scene

Perfuma makes a flower, throws it to Scorpia as she sings, and she blushes and tucks it into her hair, these two are so sweet and cute

oh god I forgot that when "Prince Peekablue" get stung by Scorpia they go through the last half-dozen shapeshifts before turning into a (passed-out) Double Trouble.

lolol instead of "cash cow" it's an insult to poor Catra

Anyway they have the info the Rebellion wanted!

Horde Prime is pissed and has blockaded the planet, also half the people at the speakeasy were chipped....and now so is Mermista, though nobody realizes that yet

But also the phrasing of "She-ra stole his little kitten away" is just amazing

But also the last they heard, Adora and Bow and Entrapta had left to rescue Glimmer, do they think Double Trouble is talking about Glimmer here or what

(which. they did. they just also went back for Catra.)

Netossa realizes her wife (and most of the people around them) are chipped D:

And a chipped Mermista is gonna drown them all

oh shit Micah is also chipped

Entrapta gets the comms working!

"The Rebellion's been compromised! Horde Prime has them! We lost, I'm so sorry! We lost them!" --and then the comms go to static

AND CREDITS!

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I'm the anon asking if I'm tripping about Tae

The way you expressed yourself made me giggle

For the past 2-3 years..my personality has been being Army

The type of Army who was so butthurt at anyone criticising the guys

The type of Army who just went along with the hive mentality of Bangtan are perfect...not even human...so how dare you....then after dreamers...twitter became too toxic to the point I realized its affecting my mental health and I was like hold up...why is my whole life just about Bangtan when they can literally never do anything of "significance" for you...of course they offer me entertainment,comfort, support,positive emotions etc but like this experience was some type of...you are wasting your youth days by always being chronically online and not doing anything else....it was like a spell was lifted...I was like okay...so if I voice out my opinion on some of the things this fandom does...all they can do is just call me an anti and tell people to.block me...it's like being Army is being hired to always be working 24/7 ....ooooh...you can't claim you're Army if you don't love all 7 of them...it's like when strangers from the Internet tell you you aren't a real Army because you don't subscribe to our bullshit is suddenly the biggest mistake of your life and you cease to exist...the thing that makes me mad at Bangtan is that they are aware how this fandom has been catapulting to so much immaturity that makes them unapproachable if we are honest but they still cater to them and put up a front...

Reading your blogs made me start questioning things and the appeal of treating them like gods just started dissipating....Army loves to make it seem like Bangtan are the top of the top but if you look at it...esp these days(not at all including the solo work so far...I love JITB from start to finish and some songs on Indigo)...is they give us generic content and they know the fans themselves will bully other people to gobble it up...I'd really love to hear them being so deep about their creative processes...after all this enlightenment...the only person whom I can't seem to rid the divine aura is Jimin but he also has a negative side to him...but I think with him..I've come to experience what true unconditional love is...same as JK but JK I've learnt to humanize him in my mind

As for the other members...I love them...they are all so multidimensional....My soul just doesn't like Tae for so many reasons....and when you're from a mindset like mine...I used to feel really guilty for not liking him and I always exaggerated my affection for him on the timeline to somehow mask my dislike...but its been a journey learning how to detach from this toxic mindset and treat them like the human beings that they are....thank you for creating this space where you are so open minded and allow discourse with people who can see through the bs....

I just wonder when they will take responsibility of how their fandom is getting out of hand in a very high rate...Army's are one of the most vile people on twitter and I understand with some things it's needed but damn😭

Chapter two just made me realized I might be a solo stan and not as ot7 as I thought....but thank you for responding to me....I kinda needed that pov to stop making myself feel guilty....but then again...there is no one human being who is perfect....there might be so many grammatical mistakes..I'm sorry 😭💛

I will asssume you're probably aware how this sounds, right? You got out of a cult. Replace army and bts with whatever cult is out there and it would apply.

I know my post hit a nerve. And some others in the past. And I can see that in all the asks in my inbox. Which surprises me, although it shouldn't. Because I'm not the type of person that needs to hear it from others first in order to say something. Maybe it has to do with age, personality, the fact that this is the internet and I really don't give a shit because it's only a small fraction of my life? But others do, which is ultimately, a bit unfortunate. Because it shouldn't be like that. But the fandom at large is so close-minded that those who don't subscribe to the cult mentality or who figure out along the way how absurd it is, are pushed aside and worse. You cannot be part of it if you don't think the same way. It's authoritive and totalitarian and jesus christ, do we need that in a music fandom when the world is as fucked up as it is? Is it worth it? Is it worth it to be misogynistic, to become an informant snitching and gathering information so the small-time leaders of report accounts can do their cancel spread sheet? Is it worth it to doxx people for whatever the fuck reason? Why on earth would anyone want to be a part of that? And then you have the ignorant on purpose army who took to heart "see nothing, hear nothing" and made it their slogan. They don't like "speak nothing" cause they suddenly get a voice when it's time to all say in a choir "all shippers are the same". Spineless people.

Spineless people who the PR job for BTS for free and they love their free labor while they don't stop for one second before buying in massses every little thing the company puts out. A late stage capitalist nightmare.

And about that creative process as a group? Well it's certainly impossible to talk about something in the last few years when they only released subpar music. What would be so deep about Butter when RM managed to say it has fruit vibes? They can complain about feeling burned out and how it wasn't a fruitful period. But they did it and they got a lot of money from those songs. Time to treat them as adults and not just as "our boys".

[void-dust-muffin]

called out by @egg-exe to list my favorite character from 10 different fandoms.

I. Do not remember names. And I refuse to look anything up. we'll see how this goes.

1) Kal'Tsit from arknights. I've been low key obsessing over the game for a while now, and Kal is definitely one of the coolest characters. Storied past, cold demeanor belying genuine care and kindness for everyone under her, Mon3tr, the team that made her did a good job and she really just exemplifies the strength of the game in general. But I can talk to the moon and back about how stupid good the writing for arknights is, especially considering it's a gacha mobile game, so ill move on

2) Neopolitan from rwby. I fell in love with rwby's setting all the way back when I first watched it. Its unique mix of fantasy and technopunk drew me in and its character concepts have kept me there ever since. Neo probably the most. A mute character being the wisecracking villain's muscle and making her shorter than literally the rest of the cast? Peak. If only they made a character to go with the cool moves.

3) Princess Zelda in Breath of the Wild. Sweetheart's trying her best and facing frustration at every turn. Somebody hug her I'm begging you. (it's me, the sweetheart is her but also me)

4) Jafar Fire Emblem 7. Played the game years ago, loved his character design and his class(crits go brrrrr), but his story is the real selling point. The way he interacts with Nino is so sweet and I have such a soft spot for both of them(technically illegal two faves from one fandom oops).

I had the next one and then I lost it uhhhhh not the one I had but we'll go with

5) I was going to say a different character from portal but then I remembered the boy: Space Core.

6) Riza Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist. Her relationship with the major is so heartfelt and the writer did them so well. If you've never watched it go and do that cuz it's just so well put together.

7) Padparadsha from Houseki no Kuni. God that manga is a train wreck. Phos you walking disaster. I love it. Anywho, pad is an interesting character in an already very interesting cast of characters. Their entire existence, teetering between waking and immobility is an exploration of how much of the gem is required for them to function. how much them can be removed before they just. cease.

8) Waymond from Everything Everywhere All At Once. First off, if you haven't watched the movie, go see it. Second, damn I didn't think anyone would actually read this far. Waymond is such a wholesome man he changes the way the woman going through the infinite possibilities of the multiverse thinks. He finds joy in everything he does and shares it with everyone around him. Not because he's ignorant of the struggles of life, because with happiness they become easier. And the man that played him is just as sweet. At the Oscar's when it was announced as best picture he went up on stage too and was hugging everyone. I would die for him.

9) Finn from the star wars sequel trilogy. As bad as they were, when the force awakens came out I remember seeing it and being excited to see what they would do with a stormtrooper main character. And then they didn't do anything, wasting all of his potential. But if there's one thing I learned from rwby, it's that someone else was just as disappointed and wrote a fanfiction exploring what canon didn't.

And now time for the niche reach.

10) Maven from the web novel Save the Demon King. Maven is the eponymous demon king, a near mythical figure in setting and the last demon alive. He is such a fun character in a fun setting that is very well written. I refuse to say more except for go read it. It's free on tapas and very good.

Honorable Mention:

I did think of Hades the game as a possible fandom but everyone in it is too good. I can't choose. the short list is half the hub area characters and at least three of the gods on top of that

fuckin hell theres an hour down the drain. gotta keep the chain going so uhhhhh @krindenium you're the only other human that I know on this site.

[practicingbushiho]

FFXIV DISCOURSE (CSA ment, sorry)

So, when I first noticed this fandom's bizarre sexualization of Yotsuyu, I tried to ignore it. It was just people being silly, and 'step on me' jokes were cringe, but I didn't make any noise about it because I just concluded that they were responding for japes. I need to talk about the way this fandom interacts with Yotsuyu as a character. And this will be the one post I allow myself to do so.

Recently, a blog was made to poll the 'fuckable' status of characters in the FF series; and it got to the point where Yotsuyu became a candidate. I, and maybe two others that I could see, were pretty unkosher with that; because Yotsuyu in the context of her canon was a tragic woman who was killed after a life of abuse and sex trafficking; and that happens to people IRL literally every day.

I was willing to accept that they would maybe just ignore people's remarks about that-- because at the end of it, most fandom wants to forget about narrative contexts so that they can have fun and not have to examine any behaviors that might make them feel guilty or uncomfortable. I'd have been alright with just being ignored completely.

I made the mistake of thinking that perhaps if they were called on it by more than just myself, that there would be some genuine reflection and thought discourse about the complexities of how being forced into sex work really damages your psyche and the way you interact with sex and sexuality. As someone who was put to survival-based sex work for a couple of years, I'd have been willing to weigh in with a legitimate conversation in good faith, if I felt I would be received with any seriousness.

But instead, they doubled down and insisted that whatever trauma they may or may not have endured themselves could be compared to being a victim of sex trafficking that eventually ended in actual murder, and in doing so missed the point in its entirety. I personally can't accept that.

So, I unfollowed the blog, and I gotta be real; if you agree with the sentiment that it's okay to flippantly sexualize Yotsuyu as a character simply because she is a fictional character that MAY have in another existence reclaimed her sexual agency in a way that wasn't horrifically self-destructive...block me. I'm so serious.

This is going to be the last I speak on her as a character publicly within fandom spaces. I need people to understand that having an abusive relationship, or being assaulted in childhood is awful; but it does not make you qualified to play armchair psychologist about people who have endured decades of sex trafficking, an industry in which so few escape alive.

Further, weaponizing your personal trauma as an explanation to absolve yourself of the guilt of sexualizing a character that in their OWN canon would revile you for doing so by saying it is people trying to punish "thought crimes" is integrally lazy and doesn't at all examine the criticism being made.

Nobody said that former abuse victims don't seek or desire acceptance. Nobody said that former abuse victims don't heal and eventually enjoy being sexualized. I for one am both of those things, and I am happily horny and unhinged in spite of a childhood of abuse and CSA.

It is more that it is a character assassination to blindly sexualize a character that would not want to be objectified. And in her canon, she never reaches a point where we can even hope to conceptualize that journey of self-acceptance within her. And because they are fictional, you think those feelings exist in a vacuum; but they do not.

If you are honestly using Yotsuyu to understand the abuse you endured in your personal life; I think that is a good thing. I think that privately or in small groups, character dialogues like hers are actually incredibly important to consider on an intimate level!

I do not think it is a good thing to put her in a fuckability poll for the fun of it. And those two things are not comparable to me at all. I'm not going to waste my time trying to get what I view as inexperienced children to understand the difference. What they are doing is what I see to be bad faith acting, and I'm not going to bite directly; but I did want to say how I felt about the decision personally, because what happened to her is something I have witnessed, and in many cases experienced when I was young.

And I would not want my sexual agency to be viewed through the lens of someone else's self-actualization for a fucking joke poll. The fucking end.