#i'm leaving it a little ambiguous sorry anon

[lilac-hecox]

Maybe your interpretation of the one bed trope with amangela?

Angela/Amanda - Amangela - One Bed

--

It’s Vidcon season and everyone has been assigned rooms in the hotel. Angela wasn’t worried because she already knew she’d be paired with Amanda. It makes the most sense and they had paired together the first year at the hotel.

When the whole Smosh cast, leadership team, and the handful of their crew arrive at the hotel it’s Selina that starts handing out room keys. There are people you’d expect. Courtney and Shayne share a room – obviously – and then Ian and Anthony share a room even though Angela knows they had been offered to have single rooms because they are on the leadership team – and because they own the freaking company – and then there is Amanda and Angela.

It's Amanda that takes the keys and passes one to Angela.

It isn’t until Amanda and Angela lug their suitcases up to the room that Angela realizes there’s just one bed.

“Uh,” she says, looking at her key. “Is this a mistake?”

“What? The one bed? I don’t think so. Court told me they are trying to save money this year by having a lot of us share a bed.”

Angela flattens her lips and sets her key down on the desk in the room.

“Save money? Yeah right. I bet Ian and Anthony just said that so it wouldn’t look weird if they shared a room.”

“Honey, money or not, we both know they would have shared a room.”

Angela laughs and then flops down on the bed, spreading out starfish style. Amanda comes to the bed, leaning over it sideways so her face is floating above Angela.

“Do you not want to share a bed with me? Should I be offended? I thought we had fun last year!”

Angela sits up too fast and lucky Amanda pulls back so they don’t knock their foreheads together.

“I did have fun! I do have fun with you!”

It isn’t that Angela doesn’t want to room with Amanda. It’s just…maybe she’s been nursing a not so small crush on Amanda for months now. Sharing a bed with her for a weekend, it isn’t bad, it’s good but that’s the issue, it’s too good.

Amanda ruffles a hand through Angela’s hair.

“Good, we’re going to have fun. I brought my tarot cards again.”

The rest of that day passes quickly. The whole Smosh group in attendance goes out for dinner, not Bucca because they have a history of saving that for the last day of Vidcon, but a place with good food and drinks. Once they finish dinner and head back to the hotel, Angela toes off her shoes and tosses her jacket on to the chair at the desk. She flops into bed and rubs her belly with a sigh.

“I ate too much pasta.”

Amanda calmly takes off her own shoes and then her earrings. Angela watches and there’s something wonderfully and terrifyingly domestic about it all.

“I didn’t think that was possible,” Amanda teases.

Angela raises her middle finger lazily from the bed as Amanda grabs some clothes from her suitcase and then slips into the bathroom to change. As much as Angela doesn’t want to, she also forces herself up and then grabs her own pajamas.

“I’m changing out here!” Angela calls.

“Got it!” Amanda responds, her voice muffled from the closed bathroom door.

Angela quickly changes into a soft T-shirt and a beaten-up pair of shorts. Amanda comes out in a long pair of pajama pants and T-shirt. Her hair is down around her shoulders, and she’s taken off her make-up and though she’s dressed down Angela’s heart still flutters in her chest.

They do have to get up early the next morning for the beginning of all the Vidcon stuff. They have a loose schedule of panels, of socials, of free time to explore, and collaborate with others. Angela knows on Saturday she is due to dress up like Ian and explore the con for a member’s video, but either way, they can’t stay up too late fucking around.

Angela crawls back into bed, feeling weirdly nervous, and a little sick from the excess pasta. Amanda settles down too, tucking her legs under the heavy comforter on the bed. Angela follows suit, sliding under the covers. This isn’t the first time they’ve shared a bed, but the first time they’ve shared a bed for real.

Almost immediately Angela can feel Amanda’s body heat, cozy and warm under the cocoon of the blankets. She looks more angelic than she should with her head back on the pillows, dark hair like a halo around her head. Angela wants to scream.

“Ang?” Amanda says.

“Huh?” Angela says, suddenly pulled back into the here and now.

Amanda smiles brightly and affectionately. “Where’d you go, honey?”

Angela feels a heat on her face.” I was thinking.”

“About?”

“Work,” Angela lies.

Amanda tsks softly, “You’re such a workaholic, Ang.”

It’s true and Angela giggles nervously and nods. “I gotta work on it.”

Their conversation dies off as Amanda plays on her phone and Angela mindlessly scrolls on Instagram. Before too long, it’s time to go to bed. Angela lays there in the dark, hearing Amanda’s soft breathing, the gentle way she shifts as if she doesn’t want to disturb Angela.

It’s Amanda’s rhythmic breathing that lulls Angela to sleep. She sleeps and it’s sometime in the night, the sky and room are still dark when Angela wakes. She isn’t sure what has woken her up, but she’s awake, and she’s more than ready to go back to sleep except she realizes that her face is warm. Her face is warm because her cheek is against Amanda’s back.

Angela should move away. She should get back on her own side of the hotel bed. She doesn’t even know how she wound up pressed against Amanda, with her arm looped loosely around Amanda’s waist. It’s hazy, warm, and comfortable. She’s pressed almost completely against Amanda with Angela’s front to Amanda’s back.

As Angela breathes, Amanda’s hair that’s fanned around her face shifts and tickles her cheek. Angela can smell the sweet shampoo and lingering perfume that Amanda uses. She wants to sink into the scent, wants to stay right here. She can’t stop herself from squeezing Amanda around the middle.

Amanda hums sleepily.

Angela aches for this to be real, for Amanda to be hers, to always fall asleep this way, wrapped around Amanda, warm and close, burying her face in Amanda’s hair and hearing all those small and sleepy sounds from the other woman.

It’s not her life though and none of this belongs to her. It’s creepy that she’s even holding Amanda the way she is now. If Amanda were awake and Amanda knew, surely…she wouldn’t want it, would she? Or she’d be weirded out? Amanda is touchy but this is beyond even that in Angela’s mind.

Angela sighs softly, feeling Amanda’s hair ruffle with her breath.

It takes all that Angela has to force herself to release Amanda, to force herself to turn away, rolling on her side and inching away so that she and Amanda are no longer touching. The hotel bed is much colder now and Angela feels lonely even though Amanda is in the same bed as her.

[nanamis-bigtie]

Bas, I love your writing so much!!!! Im kind of embarrassed to say I have notifs turned on for your posts. I've never requested one, and I know you're probably inundated, but if you are interested, would you do nanami and 44 for the kiss prompt ask? I think it's tentative kisses in the dark?

Latecomers

Character: Nanami Kento Reader: gender neutral (ambiguous body and presentation, no gendered pronouns) CW: reader is wearing glasses, alcohol (both reader and Nanami were drunk prior to events of fic) Word count: 1560 Prompt: Tentative kisses given in the dark. A/N: After a horribly long break, I am finally pecking at the very old kiss drabbles request. If you're still here, Anon, I'm sorry for the unplanned long wait. I hope you will enjoy this little Nanami treat as much as I enjoyed writing it 🤭 jjk masterlist // ao3 version

The atmosphere was so dense it could be cut with a knife, and the unsettling environment was just a rather minor cause to blame. With nothing but cold hatred he felt towards the wannabe-suburban train stations, Nanami would still take its whole gamut of nuisances, if only he could face it alone. 

In contrast to the cold and alien station hall, your presence wasn't unpleasant or unwelcome—but the two of you wanted to be somewhere else so badly it was almost written on your faces. What a misfortune, not only you had been assigned a mission in the same area, but also both of you had missed the last train back to Tokyo, ending up stuck all alone for a few hours to come. 

Seated in an appropriate yet painfully close distance, Nanami was staring at the departure board, stubborn, motionless, as if a wrongly paced blink would delay the next train for an extra hour. Hands crossed in his lap, he fiddled with thumbs and fought against the urge to whistle or hum, anything to tune that deaf silence down. You both had attempted to lead a conversation, and both had failed miserably. Words possibly couldn't glue together, and your eyes kept wandering everywhere but each other's paths, what an unbearable pain in the ass. 

Nanami had at least the barrier of his glasses providing him succor, but what he could hide from you, had just been drilling him from inside instead. Whenever his glance grazed over you, the memory of the tangy taste of your lips, pressed against his and followed suit by a brush of your warm, wet tongue, hit him like a jackhammer. Even the dim, industrial lightning around had nearly the same taint as that izakaya you had gathered in to celebrate another week of life. A cheap bar, cheap cigarettes filling the air, cheap sake burning your throats—and hasty kisses exchanged through the stolen minute of solitude, awkwardly, leaving strain in his knees as he had leaned over the short table to reach you. 

Truly a spur of a moment, caving to his repressed yearning, a decision a drunk fool had made with consequences sober he had to face.

"Express train to—" Timeworn speakers barked into tar-like silence and the both of you jerked up and bumped your elbows. Nanami mumbled an apology, barely audible amidst the recording still echoing through the hall, and forced himself to look at you, as sincerity demanded. 

You were hunched-up in your seat, hands rubbing your tight-crossed arms, literally an inch from trembling, no mantle or even a scarf whatsoever. He had noticed you had been dressed a bit too light for a night to spend on railway station, of course he had, but the thought had been pushed at the back of his head as he had squared himself up for a different kind of battle. 

Now shame was burning his ears brighter than embarrassment. He had been sitting there all cozy while you suffered right by his side, within an arm reach.

"Do I look that bad?" You snorted, tad forced, as you eyed him struggling with his jacket. "I'm not freezing, don't—"

"I have a pullover." Nanami, dry as ever, threw himself over your words, and pushed a just stripped mantle into your lap. 

You opened your mouth, ready to battle for your point, but immediately shut it under the weight of his gaze sneaking over his glasses. 

Nanami immediately averted eyes but couldn't cover his ears from you as you, prolonging it awkwardly, cleared your throat, "Hey, lemme at least repay?"

An even dryer response was forcing its way to his lips. Nanami didn't need anything from you, desperately didn't want anything from you, but he couldn't quite bring himself, despite everything, to push you away, "I could use some coffee."

Not until you had got busy with the vending machine at the other side of the hall Nanami let himself take a deeper breath. The low thudding of his pulse drowned all the other sounds: his heart was racing so much he feared it might break free out of his chest and chase after you. He expected as much, the sight of your figure hunched under his jacket could be only powerful beyond imagination, so close and dear, and burning his eyes as you returned closer, with two paper cups in your hands.

"You look quite pale yourself," you tease, unconvincingly with the way your throat squeezed around words. "You sure you don't want your jacket back?"

Wary of the risk of your hands meeting, Nanami took his coffee and muttered a dry thank you. You hunched up again in your seats, the expected express train stopped with a screech somewhere behind your backs, but no one followed the arrival nor the departure. 

The hall remained empty and tense.

Coffee from the vending machine tasted horrible but it was warm and helped keeping lips busy. Nanami sipped on his half-heartedly, focused on easing pulse and breath, against his thoughts racing towards the memories he would gladly already forget. 

What now? What were you going to do with all of this? Should you act as if nothing ever happened? How can you ever act as if nothing ever happened? 

"Nanami—" Your voice caught him off-guard, with a cup right by his lips. His hands budged, some coffee spilled down his chin and dripped on his pullover.

"Ah shit, I'm sorry!" You sprung to your feet as if it indeed was your fault, fumbling with pockets of an unfamiliar jacket, finally seizing a handkerchief out of one. He tried to wipe himself with just a bare hand—but with a surprising resolve you pushed it out the way and dealt with the mess yourself.

"I'm alright," he tried to answer the unspoken question, couldn't bring himself to. The gentle but determined touch of yours left him paralyzed, enchanted, from toes to lips, itching at the faint memory of the kiss you had shared. 

The lamp over your heads flickered and your hand dabbed closer, from his chest to his throat, then his chin. Nanami's breath hitched, audibly, tickled at the tips of your fingers gently drying the last droplets of long-forgotten tasteless coffee. The sensation was familiar, was wrong, so inappropriate, so shameless in its simplicity.

You shouldn't do that to him. 

And he couldn't hold himself any longer.

Through the thin layer of handkerchief Nanami kissed your fingers, from tips to knuckles, and nuzzled his face into your palm. Begging internally for you to slap or punch him, he wandered towards your wrist, breathed the sweet scent of yours he had learnt by heart the day he held you close for the first and only time. He felt your pulse racing under your skin, swallowed its rhythm like starved, latched on this little vibration with his eyes closed, awaiting the inevitable doom and punishment.

The lamp flickered, power whined in cables and died, leaving the both of you in darkness right as your lips finally met again. 

At first you bumped into each other awkwardly, glasses against glasses—the obstacle you tore out of your way almost simultaneously. In contrast to your first kiss, you moved carefully, barely brushing your lips, constantly asking, and never quite answering, and sharing breath in between chaotic breaks.

The unpleasant, chemical taste of coffee seemed to work against you—but as the even worse taste of sake hadn't stopped you back then, you quickly ignored it this time too. Nanami sipped it from you as if your mouth was filled with rose water, gladly swallowing your tongue finally pressing against his. Not until then he had dared to touch you, to pull you closer by the skirts of his own jacket, one hand cradling the back of your head. You snuck fingers into his hair; your nose brushed cute against his as you tilted head to the side, finally losing yourself into the sensation and pulling him into it with you.

The light flickered again, the hum of electronics returned, but you remained linked, catching up on days lost for the awkward dance of adults too skittish to be adult—until sharp fire in lungs forced Nanami to pull away.

With a thin string of saliva still connecting the two of you, you were heavily panting a mere inch away from his face. He felt your moist breath against his skin and already starved to steal it again—but, fighting against himself, he brought the same coffee-stained handkerchief to your lips and dabbed them dry. 

You exhaled through your nose, amused, and repeated his gesture from earlier, peppering his fingers with soft kisses.

"It tasted…horrible," Nanami broke the silence first after you recollected yourselves, words faster than the second thought. "The coffee, I mean."

"The kiss too," you admitted and tossed your cup into the nearest trash can, somehow not spoiling the remaining coffee. "How can they sell this crap to people?"

"I feel I owe you a proper one." Faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips, Nanami dared to scoot closer. You nuzzled towards him too, sharing the much-needed warmth eagerly now. "Once we're back to Tokyo, I'm taking you to a good place."

"It's a date?" The warmth in your voice, the timbre he loved so much, returned, no remaining trace of embarrassment left.

"It's a date. With breakfast."

[plus-i-miss-you]

Hey Hey! Can you do Yandere! Haruka having to hunt the reader down?

▷ listening to:

"he chased me and he wouldn't stop" (gn!reader)

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻ ılıılıılıılıılıılıㅤ

♪ note: yes i used melanie martinez lyrics for the title. hope you like this one, anon! it ended up being a little bit more like a scenario rather than headcanons, haha..

♪ summary: it turns out that arguing with your best friend who most likely has feelings for you and likes you a little too much and threatening to leave him is actually a surprisingly dangerous idea.

♪ warnings: general yandere themes, the reader and haruka are friends, but it's implied that haruka's feelings for them are romantic (you're free to see them as platonic though!), toxic relationships, there's a scene of haruka almost hurting a cat because yeah. he. he is still an animal murderer, but the cat ends up being safe, haruka's relationship with his mother is mentioned and it's one of the reasons why he's so obsessed with the reader, the ending is ambiguous and is up to interpretation.

♪ "y/n! y/n, where are you? y/n, please, just.. c-can you hear me? y/n, i-i know you're here!"

so, uh.. how did you two end up like this? everything was fine. you two had a completely normal conversation, so how- oh, who are you kidding. haruka's been acting really weird lately and you knew it. yes, you know it's your fault for not taking any action and just continuing to act like everything is okay. you've tried to convince yourself that it's just your imagination and this guy isn't obsessed with you and doesn't even have any feelings for you. you two are just friends, right? two friends who have a totally healthy relationship! except right now you're running through this forest just so that your friend leaves you alone and doesn't do anything to you. 

♪ you knew about his family situation. you knew about his mother and everything. you allowed him to talk about it if he wanted to, but he never did, he preferred to simply listen to you instead. you knew that he doesn't seem to like animals that much. you found it a bit weird, but you were fine with it. but today, while you two were having a walk and haruka wanted you to take a look at something, you interrupted him and pointed at a cute stray cat walking not so far away. haruka stood there, trying to get your attention, but you wanted to have a chat with a little guy instead. you walked closer to the cat and said hi to it, but before you could have a long and meaningful conversation with it, you suddenly saw a small, but a sharp-looking rock flying above your head. thankfully, the kitty quickly ran away and didn't get hurt in the process, but the moment you looked at the rock lying on the ground, you felt like your heart has stopped beating. 

"o-oh.. i-i am s-so sorry!.. i-i could've hurt you.. why am i so dumb.."

♪ you didn't want to turn around. you didn't want to even look at him. there was nobody else around. of course it was him. the thing is, if it was someone else, you would just get angry at them and call them out. but something about haruka, out of all people, being okay with hurting a cat just to get your attention was.. it was so messed up, but for some reason, you could imagine him doing it. you slowly stood up and, still refusing to turn around, asked haruka why he did it. he didn't reply. you repeated your question, but now it sounded much louder and you couldn't hide your anger anymore. it was enough to make haruka scream and tell you at least something.

"i'm sorry! i really am! i'm so sorry!.. it's just.. i.. w-wanted you to look at me.."

"you could've just told me that, you know that? what did that cat do to you?!"

"I'M SORRY! I TOLD YOU I'M SORRY!" 

♪ at this point, you were feeling tired because of him apologizing all the time. actually, haruka's behavior in general was making you feel tired. yes, you didn't want to leave him like this. yes, you knew just how much you mean to him. but you thought that for your own mental health (and for your own safety) it would be better to just go home. 

"i'm leaving, haruka."

a pause.

"h-huh?.. leaving?.. w-what's that supposed to mean?"

"it means exactly that. i'm leaving."

♪ you started to walk away and you tried your best to ignore haruka begging you to stay and sounding like he's about to cry. he probably really was about to cry. yes, you did feel bad for him. yes, you felt like a horrible person for leaving him. but you seriously should have noticed all the signs and red flags when you just became friends with him and now you can see how bad your relationship can get if you continue this. 

ignoring haruka's cries wasn't.. a good idea though. 

"I SAID DON'T GO!"

okay. you have to run.

♪ maybe this situation wasn't that bad. maybe you've made everything up. yes, haruka is.. kinda unstable, but it's fine, he just needs attention. your attention, to be more specific. maybe you really shouldn't have ignored him-

no. no, a normal person and a normal friend with normal feelings for you wouldn't chase you like his prey. if haruka really didn't mean to do anything bad to you, you two would have solved this issue already and you would be eating cotton candy and talking about stuff on the way home. "oh, but he's not good with expressing his true feelings!" but he's also not THIS bad at it.

♪ you seriously didn't know what he was planning to do to you. he won't hurt you, right? why would he hurt you if he needs more affection from you? and he won't, like.. kill you or anything, right?.. i mean, why would he? you're so special to him, you're so important to him, you're the only person who talks to him nowadays, not even his own mother looks at him anymore, she even refuses to call him by name sometimes, but he has you! and that's okay! because you make him happy! if he has you, he doesn't need anyone else! you are literally the only reason why he's still alive!

so if something happened to you.. what would happen to haruka-

"y/n! there you are!"

a tight embrace. it feels like your ribs are about to break.

"y-you've scared me, haha.. let's go home, okay?.."

[cannibalisation]

do you write for poly!marauders?(not peter tho) if so could i request the marauders with a reader who usually goes mute when upset? how would they comfort their s/o?

if you don’t write for poly!marauders thats totally okay but as a replacement could you write that with James Potter only?

i. a presence welcomed

james potter/gn!reader

thank you so much for your request! i just wanted to make it clear that i do write for poly!marauders but i didn't know how to best execute it with this request, so i'm sorry to disappoint, anon :( (604 words)

caution. angsty, mentions of injury, occ james, ambiguous relationship, i don't really know how to write for a mute!reader, apologies if it's not accurately depicted.

“Are you alright, love?”

THE kitchens of Hogwarts school were often left unoccupied during the day. Magic was used to bring ingredients back and forth between the walk-in pantries and ovens, a perfect place to hide away from the watchful eyes of judgemental teenagers and overbearing professors.

The working elves had been courteous to leave you be, or perhaps they were just uninterested in becoming temporary companions to tearful students. You don’t blame them, of course, who knows how much they have to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

Your head was held low between your legs, gaze locked onto the cobbled floor. It’s not often you hide here in the kitchens; that only happens when it truly gets bad.

Once only a few moons ago, James had found you deep within the Forbidden Forest, tucked beneath the twisting roots of trees. Your knees had been scratched up and coated in a layer of mud and moisture from the earth.

He had said very little when he approached you that day; a small gasp left his throat when he saw your tear-streaked face. James had continued to keep quiet as he sat down close by you on the forest floor, not daring to speak up about your happenings.

After what felt like many hours (despite the fact that it was only a class period), you made your way back to the castle with James in tow.

He had not brought up that quiet moment alone to you again, and you were more than grateful. Though it had always bewildered you as to how exactly he had found you, the Forbidden Forest was a place of refuge and mystery; not many students dared to trek the journey out there alone.

So it was nothing out of the ordinary for him to find you here, right when you had needed him.

Like a second nature of his, James Potter stayed quiet and only slid down the wall besides where you were sitting. Whatever holy being (or perhaps pure fate) had sent you this boy, it was clear that he was a gift undeserved. For what greatness could you achieve in silence.

Your head rests atop your left knee now, the one closest to James. A predetermined action or not, it does not go unnoticed by the curly-haired boy. He shuffles in close proximity to you, but not too close to make it seem as if you were cornered. He was no predator, and you were not prey—he had always tried his best to make sure you knew that in these moments of vulnerability.

The room returns to silence once again; you can hear the faint beating of your heart against your chest. Can James hear it too? It’s dark in the pantry; a small sliver of light shines from beneath the crack in the door.

In a brief act of bravery, you move in closer to his form, perching your head from your knee to his shoulder. He embraces the decision with warmth and shock as he hovers his right hand above your own shoulder. It’s obvious he’s nervous to properly respond, so you nudge your nose into the column of his neck to make your motives more clear.

He acknowledges the reply and places a warm hand on your arm, tugging you in closer.

It wasn’t easy in these moments of distress, not for you or for the people around you. You didn’t know how to react, and your friends never truly knew how to comfort you. But somehow, the rowdy Gryffindor boy named Potter always knew. And you’d be foolish to let that go.

authors note. this is also a lot shorter than i had wanted it to be, and it's definitely not my best work. even though it's not an excuse i am kind of in a writers block right now and i'm struggling to write anything but i'm still accepting requests! but just so it's clear they won't exactly be published in haste 🫶🏻

[thatdesklamp]

Hello! It’s the anon who sent you the ask about Gojo’s POV a few days ago. I meant to respond earlier, but life has been kicking my ass recently, but I’m here now.

I get where you are coming from with Death of the author. An old friend of mine is a writer, so I’m super familiar and have had a lot of discussions about the topic. I ask for your opinion on that stuff because I’m super interested in the way you see things as the writer behind the series, not that it colors my perspective at all. Also never apologize for going on a whole thing about your story, I really love reading your responses. So please, I would love to hear you talk more about Intrinsic Warmth, I’ll probably send you more questions when I reread it.  

I think my main interest in Gojo’s POV is that we get a different perspective of life and the story as a whole from someone different than Hebi. I adore Hebi and the way she’s written, but it's nice to see what Gojo is thinking in certain scenes - in scenes where Hebi’s complete lack of self-esteem clouds her vision. You did an excellent job in making things very slight, but enough to pick up on what other characters *might* be feeling.

I definitely could've missed something in my read through of Intrinsic Warmth, I’ve only read it once (I’ve re-read a few chapters), but I really mean to go back and reread it in full once I get more time for myself. I’m also someone who is really bad at absorbing all the information, so I’m sure I’ll definitely get little hints and signals to where Gojo is “showing” Hebi he really likes her and both me and Hebi just miss it completely. I think another reason why I missed a lot of Gojo's little tells of "I like you Hebi" is because I read Intrinsic Warmth in essentially one sitting, so I was in Hebi's mindset for quite a while (which I find super interesting from a reading perspective).

Personally, I found Intrinsic Warmth through Gojo’s POV of 2007 on here and read it without context. I was *so confused*, because I didn’t know about The Chapel, who Hebi-Hebi was, why Gojo was having a little fantasy about this character, what fight they were in. After doing some searching I found Intrinsic Warmth and read it. So I think when I read it on AO3, I was always sort of looking for hints where Gojo was in love with Hebi and I really thought maybe 2008-2010 they would confess because it reached an explicit warning. Boy,,, was I wrong about that explicit warning AND the confession. So I think the way I was thinking is that Gojo realized he had some sort of feelings for Hebi in 2007, and just decided to do nothing with it because of what happened between them.   [ I, also, thought eventual smut would take place in the chapel, it just felt like such a secret place to the two of them ]

Ultimately, thank you for your answer! I really enjoyed reading it. (and sorry for another really long ask [im also sorry if this ask is all over the place, I'm very sleepy])

HI!

Hello my love--I have taken truly too long to reply to you and I am very very sorry. But yes, thank you for getting back in touch!!

When I've been writing my Gojo POV things, I kind of consciously didn't write many things that were actually directly in IW--the one exception was when he remembers half of the scene where they first met, but other than that, it's been stuff in-between the chapters. I've liked it, because for once I've been able to write something other than tHE SEVENTH OF SEPTEMBER, but even then I've amused myself by leaving some things very ambiguous. It does just make me laugh, but the whole, 'ehhh this is set sometime in winter, probably between these dates, maybe i'll give you a year if i'm feeling generous' just makes me giggle.

I might go back on that rule and double up the perspectives for some scenes, a la the first scene, once I'm a bit further through IW, though. I'm not sure, you know??

But hey, if you do fancy a reread of IW, you can absolutely read it through a very nice fluffy lens of 'yo my girl does not understand that Gojo is DOWN BAD' which makes some things very funny and some things lowkey tragic, lol.

You know, it's actually crazy that you found IW here on tumblr first. In my head, all of these tumblr things are very optional companion pieces, and aren't at all intended as standalones at all--and so I can understand that you'd be confused, oh my goodness! It didn't occur to me at all that anyone reading these oneshots wouldn't be familiar with IW. I truly thought it would be for the established readership and no-one else. Wild!!

And ooh... yeah, I do feel kinda sorry for the people reading from the beginning post-explicit tag change, because damn, it makes sense if you've been reading it chapter to chapter but starting from the beginning must be so misleading, lmao!!!

So many people have the eventual-smut-in-the-Chapel idea... I am keeping my lips sealed. I have a plan and I cannot change it because it's stuck in my head now (spoilers, but I have literally choreographed, but not written, the conclusion to the 'eventual smut' tag. it's set in stone, just not typed up).

And thank you for your ask, and I'm sorry I took so long to get back to you!! <3333 thank youu

[ice-and-starlight]

”Because motherhood is the epitome of womanhood. How could she not?”

The irony aside, what did you expect her to do? Leave Harry by himself? Get a baby sitter? We have no idea if abortion was an option. And we also know nothing about James working and Lily not after Harry was born.

Of course they’re bad ppl. Also good ppl. Like everyone. And Harry realizes that and that’s part of him growing up. He also knows very little of them as do we.

I’m sorry but that post is really reaching. Harry is the focalisator in the series. We regard his parents through him and that’s part of the narration. He’s a kid, even in the seventh book and he idealizes his parents AND he realizes some of their flaws, especially James’ and the other Marauders. But he’s still a kid and he needs to idealize them in order to not fall apart. There’s a reason he brings them back with the stone and not Dumbledore.

Let people write their fanfics and move on with your life kfkkdkdk

I mean, I was absolutely thinking of an abortion, if it got to the point of needing one. Also just using protection (don't tell me wizards don't have magic condoms; they have charms for making magic protective bubbles around their heads, someone absolutely adapted that for putting one around their dicks), until their situation is less 'we might die at any moment'. I know it happens, I'm not saying it's unrealisic, but I do think it was careless of them to bring a baby into that situation.

And my scathing opinion on that point was less for Lily and her choices, and more for the hand behind the curtain, specifically in relation to her TERF sentiments that make such choices about a character feel significantly more sketchy.

I know we know nothing about what Lily did or didn't do for work. If that's your way of saying that James being or wanting to be an Auror is fanon, then that could've been made clearer. As I said, it's been long enough since I read the books that I'm not sure on that point. Perhaps it's more commentary on the fandom than on JKR, but it's still commentary on the ship that there is a pervaisive sense of 'we know what James was doing, professionally' that goes hand in hand with 'we don't know what Lily was doing, professionally' that does imply that Lily's professional life is less important than James's, which is a very stereotypically heteronormative perspective in our culture, and one I don't like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Any in-depth look at Lily and James is going to involve a lot of extrapolation. We, as you say, get very little information about them from the book, because Harry is the point of view character. We also never actually see them and their actions without another character's interpretation in the way. Even when Harry summons them with the stone, there's enough ambiguity about how the stone works that we can't be sure if that's actually their spirits, or if the stone uses Harry's memories/needs/feelings to create them. Even pensieve memories are, of course, someone else's memories, and therefore potentially tainted with that bias.

Yes, of course Harry idealises them. Especially because of how the Dursleys treated him, they became a symbol of a happy loving family to him. That doesn't mean he was right. He's also not the only one. Sirius, Hagrid, and Dumbledore all do it too, to name a few. Severus also idealises Lily, and does the complete opposite to James. There are rose-tinted glasses everywhere when it comes to Lily and James. It makes every single bit of information we get about them unreliable, which means, again, that nearly everything is subject to interpretation.

In my original post, I managed to outline the facts that we know about them and their relationship with one paragraph. That's not a lot of detail to build an in-depth opinion on. If I was reaching with my opinions, then I've gotta say, so is everyone else (who has an opinion on Jily, anyway).

...And, Anon, I never said anying about people not being allowed to write whatever the hell they like. In fact, I've written some things about how much I abhor censorship. If you took my answer to a question about my personal opinion on a ship as a judgement on whether you should enjoy reading or writing that ship or not, I think you need to reflect on why you feel so defensive about it. (Genuinely; I have been there, and I get it.)

Let people write their meta and move on with your life.

[carlos-in-glasses]

same anon from this post, thank u for giving us the room for this discussion!! <3

you and i are the same in that i really hate it when things are left up to our interpretation, in my mind i'd just automatically assumed the worst just so i can avoid being disappointed again. i'd also talked myself into accepting that it could be in reference to carlos and iris rather than the other way around, but the lack of closure/clarity is genuine killing me and i hate that it very well could be left unaddressed in future eps, which is why i'm trying to bury it now and just pretend it hadn't happened

i didn't particularly get any...closure, per say on tk's end so far, and i would've been okay with the angst if carlos wasn't such a jerk to tk the whole time. i guess it's why i've struggled so much getting through the first 3 eps, and rn i'm dreading 404 even though i've seen so many ppl getting excited over it. i really do hope this was set up in a way that 404 would be cathartic and also a great time for them to address the amount of shit tk was put through in the past eps, but i'm also trying to manage my expectations here

i do also think this is why ppl are struggling in this ep - we've never seen them so un-synced (for lack of a better word) with each other before, what with carlos being so focused on his mission and tk buried in his own guilt spiral and also his worry for carlos. and i really wished they'd talked to each other rather than letting this play out for angst purposes, if the payoff wasn't worth it in the end. bc angst is only done well if it's cathartic imo.

also, i hope this is a journey of carlos acknowledging his faults (e.g. lying, avoiding, repressing, pretending) and working towards them (like tk's arc), bc its honestly getting really exhausting time and time again seeing tk being shut out without any closure. it's going to be painful, and ugly, and confronting buried feelings that he didn't know was possible to feel, but i do hope he's going to get to a place where he stops running from his past in order to move forward into his future with the help of tk, and them working towards this as a team 🥹🥹 i love him and i'm exhausted and he needs to get his shit together (and i meant this in the nicest way possible).

I’m glad I’m not the only one! I’m just not wired to be cool with things that leave me with lots of questions. I don’t necessarily need shows to be super on-the-nose with things, but I can struggle with ambiguity when it comes to something like this. I definitely stand by something I said in a previous answer, which is I wish the ‘I love you’ moment could have had a little more too it. It wouldn’t have to be anything major, just a stronger ‘I love you too’ would do, or something dramatic like, ‘I want you know I don’t blame you, TK…I only blame…myself!’ and then he hangs up. Soapy as hell, but then we’d know! For me, having TK go feral while looking for Carlos who has been kidnapped by a serial killer would be plenty of angst on its own, without the additional angst of a rift between them. But this is the hand we have been dealt.

I’m sorry you’re dreading 4x04 though. I’m excited for it because I’m trusting Ronen. I hope it far exceeds your expectations and you love it – you deserve to love it! Even if it leaves some things lacking, it really should still be cathartic after what’s happened so far, because we know they’ll be reunited and the wedding planning will properly commence. We know they will be back in sync – maybe more so than ever. Maybe the show will play that up. We know it can do Tarlos extremely well, hence we love Tarlos so much, and they do usually feel like a team.

And your last para – yes, I agree. It’s exhausting when a character doesn’t grow and it’s invigorating when they do, and it does seem to me like the set up is for growth to happen. It doesn’t seem possible for Carlos to go through what he’s going through now, as a direct result of his past, and come out of it pretending nothing ever happened. Again, we know growth is something the show can do well, for instance contrasting season 1 TK against season 3 TK.

I think with Tim at the helm, the show has taken a risk this season and (at the time of writing this response anyway) it isn’t paying off the way they’d hoped and some damage control and reactiveness seems to be happening. My takeaway wish from all this is: the creators and writers also grow from the backlash and bring a season 5 that still has plenty of drama but handled in a different way, ie. a disaster that TK and Carlos truly do face as a team. Or something that is less reliant on angst between them. (I want to emphasise this is my wish, which may well not align with anyone else’s). This can all be absolutely fixed – either in the next episode or beyond.

[endless-bees]

What if... AU where instead of being totally tactless, Dream is convinced by Lucienne or Matthew to call his sister up to deal with the ghost hiding in his wife's dreams. She handles it tactfully, Dream doesn't gain an enemy, and everyone's happier.

Anon I loved this so much I had to write a short little thing trying to get some thoughts down

Rose had been expecting Hector. Morpheus and the stranger beside him were a surprise.

Rose had always been a good kid, maybe too good based on her isolation in middle school, but walking into the Hall’s home felt more like what she imagined shuffling into the principal's office was like instead of a literal dream.  Morpheus stood beside the couch, hands folded and lips pursed into a frown, while Hector sat and watched the king nervously. Pressing his mouth into a disappointed line had stripped Morpheus’s face of its little color, and Hector’s once richly tanned skin also seemed wan compared to when–Rose wasn’t really sure. When he was alive? When he was in the waking world? 

The only person–and even that was a bit ambiguous, given the things she’d met recently–that maintained any vibrancy was the stranger next to Morpheus. Her dark hair haloed her kind face, lit by a soft smile, and even though Rose knew she’d never met the woman before, something about her reminded her of her mother’s final weeks. A necklace, like a cross with a loop, hung around her neck. 

“Lyta,” Rose said slowly, “you remember I told you about Lord Morpheus, the King of Dreams?” Lyta narrowed her eyes at him, before her face turned toward the stranger. 

“Who are you? What do you want?”

The stranger’s smile was so sweet, Rose’s heart nearly broke with it, even as she began to suspect neither she or Morpheus was here for good reasons. 

“You know who I am, Lyta. And you, Rose,” she added. “Everyone does. We all meet eventually.” 

“She’s Death, Lyta,” Hector said. “I met her when–at the traffic stop.” 

The stranger–Death–chuckled. “Hector offered me his jacket. He thought I would get soaked through in the rain.”

Lyta sensed whatever it was that had dread building in the pit of Rose’s stomach. Her voice was sharp when she repeated, “What do you want?”

Death opened her mouth, but it was Hector that answered first. “He wants us to leave.” 

Rose frowned. “Why?”

“Because Hector doesn’t belong in my brother’s realm.” Death stepped forward, tipping her head down slightly to look Rose in the eyes. Normally, reminders about her height annoyed her. When Death did it, though, it didn’t feel condescending. It felt like she simply wanted to see Rose’s face. “He was meant to come with me to my kingdom. Ghosts aren’t supposed to stay in dreams, Rose.” 

“Nor can a living human being escape her grief here.” Rose looked past Death toward Dream, her skin immediately prickling. The easy comfort Death had managed to create dissipated when she saw how cold Dream’s gaze was, but he was not looking back at her. Instead, his gaze traced along the ceiling, and when Rose looked up, she saw the small cracks there split and widen. “Do you not see the damage your presence has done to this realm? I cannot allow you to stay.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Hector asked Death. She shook her head. 

“You know it doesn’t work like that, Hector.” Her somber tone did nothing to cushion the blow of what inevitably followed. “I’m sorry, but it’s time to say goodbye.” 

Hector shut his eyes, tears finally escaping. Rose watched his chest heave beneath his perpetually wrinkled shirt, strong and unrepentantly messy in the way she’d only even known Hector to be. He walked toward Lyta slowly, like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to run to their last embrace or hold it off as long as possible. 

“No,” Lyta gritted out, holding her hands up to press the moment where she had to wake up away. “I'm not losing you again.” 

Finally, his first impulse won, and Hector quickened his steps to wrap his arms around her waist. 

“I love you so much,” he murmured, pressing kisses into her hair. Lyta sobbed, her fingers clawing into the space between his shoulder blades. Rose was frozen, not wanting to intrude but not wanting to interrupt with her movement, either. 

Dream had no such reservations, holding his hand out to–Rose didn’t know, exactly, but she recognized and knew to fear ice in men’s eyes. Her father made sure of that. But before she could shout, or beg, or just–just cross the room and launch herself at him–Death’s hand clamped onto her brother’s wrist. 

She said nothing, only shaking her head, and even without it directed at her, Rose blushed in shame at her disappointment. 

Hector stepped back, but Lyta followed, grabbing his face and pulling him into their last kiss. She wept as their bodies lost contact, and he turned his face away, strong but not strong enough to stop his face from warping with his sobs. Death moved away from her brother with a final sigh, but when she touched Hector’s shoulder, all annoyance was forgotten. 

Rose couldn’t hear what she murmured to him, but he nodded jerkily and moved into the next room, out of sight. Death looked back at the odd remainders of the odd dream, a king, a vortex, and at last, a widow. It was Rose, though, that she settled her attention on. 

“Little brothers can be difficult, Rose.” Dream scoffed, but Death just smiled gently. “But they need their older sisters. Jed is lucky to have you.” 

Then, she moved onto Morpheus, leveling him with a hard stare. “No negotiation tonight.”

“There is no gentle way to tell them.” Rose opened her mouth to ask what, but was cut off by Death’s quick retort. 

“I disagree, which is why you’ll wait for me to get Hector settled before giving them more bad news.”

Dream drew his shoulders up, but didn’t protest. 

Finally, Death herself looked at Lyta–and Rose saw her eyes shine as she looked at the distraught woman. “You will see him again, Lyta. I can’t keep anyone apart forever.” 

Lyta shook her head, slowly at first then frantically, trying to shake away the new old reality as it came flooding back in. The one where her husband was dead. “I can’t,” she gasped, “I can’t lose this again, please–can you just take me with you now?”

Death made a noise, soft and wounded, and stepped away from where Hector had left the room to tilt Lyta’s face up. 

“Your time’s not up yet, Lyta. I can’t take you away from the living world until it is.”

“I,” Rose found her voice, choked by emotion but still alive. “Lyta, I can’t–I don’t know what’s going on. And I know it’s so, so selfish of me to ask, especially after all you’ve done for me and Jed, but–” Rose looked towards Death, who nodded encouragingly. She forged on. “I can’t lose you too, Lyta. If you can’t stay here, then come with me and Jed. We’ll find somewhere you can build things and Jed and I can go to school, and...” 

She trailed off. “It’s not a dream, but…”

If Rose had thought a small smile was enough to light Death’s face, then her grin was enough to illuminate the room. But she was focused on Lyta instead, and the watery smile she gave was just as blinding. 

“It’s a life,” she whispered fiercely. Lyta crossed the room in a few easy steps, pulling Rose into a hug. “I shouldn’t—Hector wouldn’t want me to do—that. I can’t. I can’t. He wouldn’t forgive me anyway.” under Death’s careful gaze, she sucked in a deep breath. “I love you. And we’re going to find Jed.”

Death smiled and turned back to where Hector was waiting. Rose blinked, heard the sweeping of wings, and then–they were gone. Then Lyta, then the house, then the field–

Until it was simply the darkness behind her eyes, and she snapped them open. 

The dream was over. 

[bookishfeylin]

Artists and readers who view certain characters as POC are not giving SJM any credit for "diversity" We merely want to represent these "golden tan" characters as POC because if we don't draw them that way, then we'll never have POC represented in art. SJM is a global bestseller and fan art of her characters is literally everywhere and if you whitewash the characters then that's not progressive and it alienates a whole bunch of readers in the fandom. When I see art of Bryce with brown skin, I feel so represented. Not by SJM, but by the artist. If artists/readers believe that every time SJM describes a character as tan that she just means pale, then might as well draw Emerie, Vassa, Hypaxia, Yrene as white too and just make all the characters white. Those same artists/readers will then say SJM has diversity, ok well if all you draw is white characters then how is that diverse? Although I'm not a fan of the author, she's not the one drawing these characters as white, artists are. When Sarah INITIALLY describes a character as "tan" or "brown" I immediately picture a POC. I don't care what SJM thinks because at the end of the day readers and artists are the most important, we have the freedom and the chance to draw diverse characters and interpret them in a different and refreshing way. Artists who choose to draw Bryce as a WOC are not trying to give SJM any credit, but the text clearly describes her as someone with tan skin, not someone who was pale and then eventually got a tan. No, Bryce is described as tan from the beginning and that means something. Artists have no problem giving brown skin to the male characters like Hunt and Rhysand, but for some reason still draw Bryce pale as hell? We can't ever have a main female character in a SJM book with brown skin for a change? Artists have the power to draw characters diversely. I can't tell you how many times I picked up a series because of the amazing fan art I've seen. I wish artists wouldn't underestimate fan art and how impactful it can be when they choose to draw characters in a diverse way.

Sorry, I needed to rant.

Anon, I really REALLY don't go here. I'm not sure why this very condescending, passive-aggressive ask is in my inbox instead of you, y'know, peacefully reaching out to the BROWN HIJABI I reblogged from who commented on Sarah's pseudo-diversity, and you politely asking her a few questions, especially when I already acknowledged the complexities with fandom viewing vs not viewing Bryce as white.

But I respectfully disagree with... everything.

We merely want to represent these "golden tan" characters as POC because if we don't draw them that way, then we'll never have POC represented in art.

Or we can just support authors of color who ain't racist. Authors of color who write characters of color! Draw them instead!!! As I said before, I've discussed Sarah's racism, predominantly in the ACOTAR series, here, here, here, and here. Instead of expecting Sarah to change, let's just support authors who already do what we've been begging Sarah to do.

SJM is a global bestseller and fan art of her characters is literally everywhere and if you whitewash the characters then that's not progressive and it alienates a whole bunch of readers in the fandom. When I see art of Bryce with brown skin, I feel so represented.

She’s famous because white people propped her up and supported her over fantasy writers of color who write diverse characters. Instead of squinting and pretending an ambiguously described character is representation by an author with a track record of not respecting her characters of color, let’s just… support diverse authors? Let’s make THEM famous instead of her. The root cause here is the lack of interaction and fame diverse authors and diverse works get, leaving us with little representation. So let’s make those famous instead!!! Wouldn’t you feel better represented by an author who could a) commit to saying ethnicity their character actually is b) actually bother to fully include that character’s culture and make their ethnicity clear? Two things Sarah does not do?

Artists have no problem giving brown skin to the male characters like Hunt and Rhysand, but for some reason still draw Bryce pale as hell? We can't ever have a main female character in a SJM book with brown skin for a change?

I agree. This is called colorism, which I have discussed before (check my racism tag and scroll. You should find some post about it). Yes, dark skinned men and light skinned women is an issue… that Sarah perpetuates? She’ll never commit to having an unambiguous POC as her protagonist if we keep blindly supporting her books, though.

I can't tell you how many times I picked up a series because of the amazing fan art I've seen. I wish artists wouldn't underestimate fan art and how impactful it can be when they choose to draw characters in a diverse way.

Yes, but rather than canon ambiguous characters, we deserve actual canon POC. Not characters we *imagine* as POC. I’ve been burned a few times because I saw fanart of a book, and when I finally got the book, it turned out that character was racebent by the artist. It’s nice for them to do, but it’s devastating to have that representation ripped away abruptly.

We don’t know Bryce’s ethnicity or culture. Is she Latina? Black? South Asian? I’m glad you feel represented and I certainly won't take that from you, but if we don’t critique her writing, Sarah and other authors will write way more characters this way. We need to show authors and publishers we want real representation, not “tan” characters. I hope I’m not coming off as rude, but anon you really touched a nerve here, because nothing will get better if we keep accepting crumbs as representation.

[bored-storyteller]

(Little general warning: I understand that my mind when it comes to Uta imagines the reader as human by default, so if you don't like it please specify it in the request)

Hi Anon!

I'll be honest, this time I'm not satisfied. I am not convinced that I have written anything that can really make you feel emotions. In my head, I had imagined a more bloodthirsty scenario (I like to write this kind of thing with him) and also with Uta appearing as Kakuja, but then all that violence seemed out of place if not requested so I calmed down a bit the things. Despite this, I still have the desire to write something similar. Anyway, I'm sorry, I'm willing to rewrite it if you don't like it.

64- Tokyo ghoul, Uta x human! Reader

From the prompt list

3- "What would you do if I didn't come back?"

Uta sometimes raises doubts, lately more than usual.

It's not unusual for his eyes to scan you and linger on you. He stopped listening to you for a while, while you talk to someone on the phone.

You look annoyed, you are declining an invitation, perhaps, or otherwise you are giving up on something. For him, of course.

His lids tighten slightly around your figure, while his cheek rests lazily on the back of his hand.

"You should really go with them." His quiet voice reaches you as soon as your call closes. You turn to look at him, the only other living being besides you among all those lifeless masks.

You smile at him, as you always do.

"I wouldn't go anyway." Your answer is ready and prepared. How true is it? How much of what you do and what you don't do is for your free choice, and not to protect him or yourself? He is not even convinced that he fully understands how much you have to give up on your human life.

He doesn’t doubt that maybe at the beginning it was worth it, for you. But now, how much is true affection, yours, and how much just habit? A risky, deadly habit.

Your fingers gently pick up the sketches he left on the table, you flip through them as you always do and he looks at you, from his sitting position.

He does not believe that you are forced to be with him, or that you are afraid of leaving him, but there is the doubt that your love is slowly being replaced by the everyday life of your relationship.

"What would you do if I didn't come back?"

His question was asked casually, almost as if he were pointing out to you how the rain made the afternoon air humid.

Your gaze suddenly lost and upset for a moment almost made him go back on the question. "Forget it" he was about to tell you, yet his teeth bite his tongue and that ambiguity remains suspended between you two.

"What does it mean?" You ask him, and a slight uncertain smile is painted on your fragile lips, almost asking him to joke "Why are you asking me this question now?"

Your uncertain voice always makes his heart tremble. When he feels you scared, or fearful, it's somehow as if he shares the same anxieties as you. Yet, deep inside him, the most selfish part of him is happy if you at least suffer a little for him.

"I would come to look for you ..." You murmur in response when you realize that he is still waiting. Your words are so light and fragile that he himself cannot find the courage to push them further.

It’s obvious that you answer like this, that you there in front of him have neither the desire nor the courage to really imagine yourself in a situation in which Uta will not come back into your life. That's right, he's sure you're fond of him, but do you still really love him? Do you love him as in the beginning?

The alleged absence of him scares you, but if it really happened, perhaps, in the real situation, you would notice the less weight on your shoulders, the absence of the chains that keep you tied to constant danger.

But maybe you can't see it now, not if you don't have to change your daily life.

. . .

Uta never believed that his heart could make itself so present. He feels it throbbing violently against his ribcage taking away space for his lungs to breathe, he feels it forcefully pumping the blood into his veins and wrists so much that if you focus you could see the vibrations under his skin. He never believed his body could go into such a state of agitation, even his distorted kagune wriggled inside him to be able to get out and release that tension.

The smell of your blood was enough. This was enough, and the world around Uta had darkened and there was for him that dangerous red trail that led him to you. And even if his face seems calm and focused, the terror of never seeing you again grips him.

Why are you there in the first place? You don't have to be there, he warned you. He always warns you, to keep you safe - to keep you from seeing.

It's hard for him to hold back when his mental state is in that situation. When he needs blood, fun and killing, when he needs it to stay who he is. And as much as he would like it, not even your presence can allay that need.

Indeed, you are a stimulus. Your eyes that silently scrutinize him from your hiding place are a charge for him to do better. He might say to himself that it's his revenge on whoever hurt you, but the truth is that he's now free to vent that part of him in front of you too. That part of him that he always tries to keep you safe from, that part of himself that you shouldn't be there for, not where the Clowns were operating.

That part of him that will make you go away.

It is at that thought that calm him down. Him, the world, his heart. Suddenly, when there is nothing but him and his dirty hands, your presence in that place becomes concrete, almost heavy.

His eyes seek you, hidden as you are in his half of the battlefield.

"It's me ..." the sweet note of his voice echoes in the calm after the storm "It's just me."

It's just him. No hero ready to save you, only Uta in his natural madness.

Your head pops out from behind your makeshift barrier, and he frantically approaches to check on you. Thank goodness you are fine, thank goodness the wound is not serious, thank goodness you seem not to feel too much pain, thank goodness ...

"Uta!"

His attention is on you, on your worried eyes.

Oh, you're still there. You didn't run away. You are there, kneeling in front of him, and he is leaning over you looking at your injured shoulder, but you don't seem to care.

"What are you doing here?" It wasn't actually the first question he wanted to ask. He had to ask you if you were okay, what that idiot had done to you, he had to take care of you. But all he could think was that you didn't have to see, you didn't have to imagine reality.

Because the weight on your shoulders would have been too much, and you would never come back.

"You never came back." Your voice again interrupts his thoughts as they wriggled again like agitated snakes in his head.

"You never came back, I came to look for you."

You say it with a look so clear and sincere that Uta for a moment is almost afraid to say anything. It seems that nothing is wrong with you in any of this; neither the danger you ran, nor the wound on your shoulder, nor his inhuman violence. You were looking for him. You were afraid that he would never come back to you, and you looked for him, as you said.

You did not remain silent waiting, you did not hope for a while to get rid of him, nor did you plan to remain without him. Instead, those words of him had remained inside you to the point of putting you in danger.

The truth is that Uta had thought he was not enough for you, or rather that you considered him as such by now. After all the sacrifices, after all the burdens you carried because of him, he really thought that you had stopped loving him, wanting him to be yours.

Perhaps this is because Uta has stopped loving himself for a long time.

But you got there, because you want him back, and if he hadn't arrived, whether you are aware of it or not, it would have been you who did not come back.

You wouldn't be back.

"Forgive me." His voice is little more than a whisper as his palm gently wraps your cheek "Does it hurt a lot?"

He pulls you close to him, into his arms. He needs to feel you, feel your warmth, your weight, your cold hands on his body. His face bends into the hollow of your neck, inhaling your perfume, smelling you not as a prey but as something of him, to be loved and protected.

"You won't go away, will you?"

Your question is innocent as you curl up in him, likewise seeking your presence.

His nose cuddles against your temple, continuing to perceive you with all possible senses.

If all renunciations of your human life are your choice, then he's not going to stop you from doing it.

"Not as long as you want me."

[jmdbjk]

So I'm a little bit bummed out that "Young Love" is gendered (mentioning "girl" twice or thrice). I always loved it when BTS write their lyrics in a more neutral way. Or am I interpreting the lyrics wrong? It comes across like a classic love song to me. I know I should take into consideration the political climate in South Korea. But with "I know" they managed to include at least two genders and other lyrics are written in a gender neutral way. So it's not like they never did it before.

Hey Anon!

Sorry for the delay in getting to this...FESTA and all...

Young Love is a sweet song and yes I do think its got a very classic k-pop love song vibe.

The literal translation of the song title on the track list is "ambiguous" but the English title is "young love" because that lyric is repeated throughout the song. The word ambiguous describes what the song is about.

I searched for English translations of the song, there's not many out there yet. I believe "girl" is said at least twice during RM's part. The lyrics are about having a first love or a secret crush, not knowing how to feel, getting mixed up about it, trying to sort out if its real and feeling like an idiot, in other words, the song writer is explaining ambiguous feelings on how to react to these emotions.

Credits are: produced by PDogg and written by he and RM. I don't know WHEN this song may have been written and the demo recorded. Perhaps it was recorded during a time before they made the conscious decision to attempt to keep lyrics gender neutral.

Perhaps it was meant as a song to Army during a time when it was assumed all Armys were female fans...before everyone realized the diversity of the fanbase.

Perhaps it was meant as just that, a k-pop love ballad.

Maybe the lyrics literally are exploring a crush on a female. I believe all of the members leave the interpretations of songs up to us as fans. 

It does not feel like a song that RM would have written in the last few years, it feels more like something from years ago but that's just my own speculation just from knowing the evolution of their body of work.

I would say don't over analyze too much about the intent of including the song. I am no music expert but I think it is just another song that shows the depth and evolution of BTS's genre range: from Run Bulletproof, to Jimin's Lie, to Boy with Luv, to Dynamite, to the Cypher series to Yet to Come.

Until we hear the behind story from RM, we will never know what the original intent/meaning of the song is and why it was included on the anthology. 

Thanks for letting me have a shot at answering your question!

[papirouge]

Have you ever felt Gods presence? Have you ever heard or seen Him answer your questions or prayers? Sorry, i'm literally going through a pretty harsh crisis of faith right now... Have you ever doubted? I'm scared to even think of the posibility of there not being a God .... Like life has to have a meaning right? The idea of life simple ending after death is driving me a little crazy i think

It's when I've been at my lowest point I've felt God presence the most, anon. The Bible is very correct on that aspect.

I've "met" God a bunch of times already, but not you would assume how lol

I'm a very honest person and act like such with God. Whenever I doubt, am angry... He's always reminded me He's there. That's why I cannot doubt the existence of God because none of these experience could be coincidence.

That's like....a virtuous circle. If you take some time to enter into prayer, God will reach out to you, and will do so with no ambiguity whatsoever. And the more you pray, the closer your relationship with God will be and so the bigger this certainty becomes. That's how you can't doubt anymore. And after meeting demons close and personal I can TELL YOU the spiritual realm is real and that there's definitely something after death.

That's not something that someone else can convince you of though, anon. Relationship with God and extremely personal and I can't tell you how God will reveal himself you. But truth is, if you're heart is genuine and repentant He will.

I really recommend you reading John 14 (my favorite chapter of the Bible) where Jesus retells all the promises of everlasting life. I like reading it reading I'm in doubt and/or spiritually weakened

Jesus Comforts His Disciples ​

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” Jesus the Way to the Father Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it. Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit “If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”

Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me. “All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. “You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. I will not say much more to you, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me, but he comes so that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me. “Come now; let us leave.

[askfallenroyalty]

(1/2) I don't care that the story isn't done. The reset itself isn't the point. You had FRISK tell Chara, point blank, to give up on their suicidal family member after like ten minutes. No matter what, that is FUCKED. Honostly, the ending to this story is irrelevant to why I'm upset. I'm sure you'll wrap all this up in a nice little bow at the end of this.

with the heavy subject matter and with my lengthy response, i’m putting this under a read-more.

sigh. ok. i see you’re angry and you have every right to be upset, this topic is very personal to me too. i want to stress that i see that and its fine to react this way, that at the end of the day despite my author intention, you as the reader came away with this. and i’m sorry. i hope with the full picture you will see how this story is intended to be empowering and helpful to those who suffer from depression and sucidal thoughts. this is a story of unity and love. this plot beat doesn’t reflect that theme, and is supposed to be the darkest point of the full story and the wrong they must make right. however! as an uncomplete story, yes! yes its fucked and not cool, its never been intended to be ok. frisk made a mistake.

i feel i have to give context to frisk’s actions but even when i do that, i want to say sorry for how i’ve hurt you and that going forward with the story, i want to make it explically clear what frisk said was wrong. i want to thank you for this critisim, and i take it fully to heart. i hope you’re ok.

alright so in context, this is what happened. undertale the game happens. a year passes, chara true resets. they continue to reset until AFR happens and they lose the power. Chara clings to resets and the past because as a ghost, they had nothing. while frisk loves chara, they can’t really get past their broken trust they have with their sibling for taking a year off of their life. thats fine tho, because chara doesn’t have the power and they’re happy with their new life.

but then chara does get the power back and explains they intend to reset so they can relive the past and have no one ever die again. frisk is mad at this, but chara in the darkworld arc promises not to use the power anymore. things are fine again... but imminently when they leave, chara changes their mind. they ambiguously say goodbye with the intent to use the save power somehow.

when asriel dies, frisk isn’t looking at it as “oh shit, asriel is dead” frisk is looking at this as “since midnight i’ve been told this timeline is a goner so whatever happens is not real, chara betrayed me twice and has fully broken my trust.” they’re furious at this betrayal AND for chara reloading without talking to them. they were partners in the journey underground and great friends! chara betrayed them!

and most importantly frisk is 15. (14 in-universe because of the original true reset, forgot i didn’t make them 13. i’m bad with numbers, not really relevant) they believe chara will true reset (which they ended up doing) and 5 years of their life would be gone as well as, in a sense, killing their siblings! to frisk, they’re seeing this as a trolley problem scenario, not “save asriel” scenario.

they’re a kid who’s had their life ripped from them and betrayed by their best friend, they’re a kid scared for their siblings and family’s lives and that context is important to how they reacted. yes!!! its messed up! but they’re not reacting in the sense of “give up on asriel” but “are we going to be stuck in a magic loop and are you going to erase the future completely” and once chara explained they were fine with not resetting and only intended to reload, frisk backed off!!! frisk was fine!! with that!

they accepted chara felt the solution was a magic one -but as i mentioned, this isn’t the right answer nor is it the final answer. as far as i’m concerned, this is their 4th attempt to saving asriel and there CAN be more. when i say its not over- i frickin mean it! the story deals with magic and the whole scenario is built on magic. the outcome will be grounded in reality and how to better handle the situation but ultimately the context isn’t as black and white as you painted it.

frisk and chara are scared and in way over their heads with this. chara and frisk have been crying, having damn breakdowns and worried as hell for their families and as a kid, frisk is more worried about their immediate family than the basically-stranger who’s always been chara’s brother first. is it still wrong? yes. should i have made this more clear in the text and hopefully avoided this? yes! i’m not sure what exactly i could of done better but I fully intend to make this more clear.

i’m just... kinda at a loss right now of what to say. i fundamently believe the full story that i have in my head tackles this topic with nuance and showing both characters are at fault (chara for the lack of communication and hot-headed-ness.) and i hope with time it’ll fix this issue. but for now, it doesn’t change this story is upsetting as an unfinished piece. i’m fine with discussing this further with you anon but i also fully understand if you’re angry and don’t wish to engage further. regardless, i wish you the best.

[willthecleric]

heey firstly i hope you're having a nice day :))

and secondly, i was thinking about that video of that fanmio with finn where he got asked if he shipped byler and (maybe you or someone has mentioned this before, and if so i'm sorry) i realised

the question was if he shipped byler and he went straight to saying "we'll have to see what the duffers write" like, that's not what they asked, right? like, they mentioned byler and his mind went straight to the "is it canon" topic, perhaps cause it's a bigger topic in s4, like maybe when they mentioned byler he was so focused on not slipping it was canon that he tried to leave that ambiguous when it wasn't really necessary cause that wasn't the question? like you know in Friends when they have to hide from ross's wife that rachel is with them and joey's first instinct is to say "idk who's here but it definitely isn't rachel" when he could've just not mentioned her and come out clean? that's the vibe im getting (chances are i'm overthinking)

like alright maybe he knew if he said he did ship it, then bylers would get maybe a little too hyped and relate it to it being canon, so he just said we'll have to see, but idk he could've been like "idk i haven't thought about it" or "it's nice, i've seen stuff on it before" y'know to keep it ambiguous, but instead he talked about it being or not being canon and never even mentioned how he felt about it, he mentioned people could ship whatever they wanted but never if he did or didn't, so nonetheless he sounds like he's trying to hide a piece of information somewhere

i know they probably have to be careful with their answers so nobody goes crazy over what they say, so maybe answering if he did or didn't ship it could cause a little chaos (not that mentioning whether it may or may not be canon wouldn't cause just as much), on the other hand, it's pretty much the viewer's responsibility to assume something over an actor's personal opinions? but i guess it is more of a sensitive topic if there's a possibility of it actually happening in the show (i know he didn't have much time to think about a perfect answer to the question since it was live (not with an audience but between the two) but that brings me back to how "canon" was the first thing that came to him)

i'm sorry it's 4am and i'm blabering a lot and craving for new byler evidence but i hope my point makes some sense, i could definitely be overthinking but it's just a thought :D

TLDR: when they asked finn if he shipped byler he went straight to talking about whether it's canon (aka not rlly what they asked), like canon is the first thing that crossed his mind

Hi, Anon! I did have a nice day. I hope you have one too. :)

I love discussing Finn and Noah in regards to Byler. I don't think you are overthinking this at all. There is definitely something to it. I do think Finn was taken off guard because no one generally asks him this question and he tried his best to to dodge it but did not really know the best way to do it. So he ended up talking about the Duffers writing what they write. But then realized that he shouldn't have really stated that, so he went to cover for it by saying that people can ship what they want. That was just my read of things and the way that he was acting within the video. I do think it being canon did cross his mind (like I think he probably does ship Byler - it just seems like the kind of pairing he would enjoy). And honestly, I think he is excited as well. I remember him saying before S3 came out that he is looking forward to where Mike is heading. And we can all guess as to what he was referring to there. I do feel for Finn because he is in a delicate position where he can't say much because on one hand there is Bylers and on the other hand there is Milevens. And of course he can get in trouble for saying too much.

And believe me, I get craving new Byler evidence. :D

[sheryl-lee]

hi i'm the anon from earlier, i just finished the moonlight finale and i'm a little disappointed 😭😭 it ended in a weird half way but layla was being cool as shit

hey!!! and oh, i'm sorry to hear that :( i personally really liked the finale on a first watch, but i do think that i like it a little less after sitting with it. the ending was definitely ambiguous, but i think that's because there's a highly likely chance we're getting a second season or at the very least a movie - especially when considering the post-credits scene (!)

i think the loki finale was the best of all the mcu shows thus far, but again a lot of that had to do with the fact that a second season was already being planned, so the series benefitted from leaving things open-ended. i do generally think that 6 episodes is just a bit too short for what marvel's trying to do with these shows, and i definitely think even 10-20 extra minutes / less action during the moon knight finale could have made things feel a lot more narratively tight and concise.

but overall, i still really enjoyed the series - it's beat loki for my favorite mcu show, even if the finale wasn't as strong as it maybe could have been. and i completely agree with you about layla; she was amazing!!! her suit was stunning!!! and her powers are incredible!!! i think it's so cool that we have an egyptian-palestinian hero in the mcu, especially in a character like laya who is already so likeable and is played by someone as talented as may calamawy. i'm definitely looking forward to seeing more of her, and i really hope a second season or some form of a continuation is announced soon!

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Can you share your plans on ILTY in terms of JP dynamic? I realise currently it stands as platonic, but I couldn't help but feel something a little different in certain sentences. I remember you said that you feel the situation is too stressfull for John to start exploring his sexuality and doesn't exactly provide the best ground for romantic feelings. But I was wondering, wouldn't it also be a chance for John to discover just how significant his connection to Paul is, that Paul sort of is a constant in all these "changing timelines", and even if this Paul is slightly different from the past, it is still his Paul, and he is just as important for John as before (and vice versa for Paul himself, but with some other nuances, like missing John etc.). Which may smoothly or not so smoothly develop into realisation of some deeper feeling :) Is this something that was on your mind while writing, or you already have the whole story in mind with them staying where they are now in terms of relationship dynamics?

And thank you again for your amazing work, which I have been rereading again! Btw, sorry if wording was a little clumsy! (English is not my first language)

Hey anon thank you for this and no need to apologize for your English, it's fine! Super exciting to me that you've been rereading that's sooooooo cool to know that you find it worth coming back to <3

I can see why you've picked up on ~something more, because I did write things I knew might be interpreted that way. They weren't specifically intended to be romantic/sexual (or at least not consciously, from either of their perspectives) and a lot of those moments are actually based on times in my own life, during which platonic relationships got Very Intense – in a way that a lot of people in my life find "odd" i.e. hard to believe was in fact merely platonic. And I understand why they thought that; if someone wouldn't do xyz with a platonic friend, then it makes sense to think it isn't platonic. I'm talking a lot!

My point is: it's somewhat intentionally a grey zone! (that being said I'm interested if the places you picked up on this are in fact the same ones I'm thinking about.)

I've actually considered a way to let the story unfold into a realization of sexual feelings for John; the main issue is doesn't exactly fit into the narrative, which is mostly fully outlined, and resolving this new conflict would end up feeling tacked on. (And Paul's reaction – whatever it might be – would even moreso feel tacked on)

Or it would be left completely unresolved – more or less just the realization with an uncertain path forward. I actually personally would find that kind of interesting, but I'm not exactly sure if it would really… add anything? And I'm afraid of backlash over it.

That being said, John's connection to Paul is a focal point of the story and while I'm planning to leave the nature of it ambiguous/unresolved, I have absolutely zero intention on downplaying its significance to either of them and it'll be critical for the ending!

I hope that makes sense to you :)