#i'm kinda proud of myself for following through with this one actually

[exophreak]

HEY LOOK IT'S THAT THING FROM ULTRAKILL

i haven't even played the game proper, but i found myself overcome by my love for robots :]

[mellowmistt]

The Sleepover-Chris Sturniolo (Part 1)

Summary: (corny, basic ahh title I know) You are good friends with the sturniolos and at their house, unabe to catch an uber late at night you are offered to stay the night on the couch, however you could not sleep and someone with the same problem comes to join you..

Warnings: smut;unprotected sex; handjobs; swearing; mentions of alcohol; NO use of y/n!

A/N: I don’t use any degrading kink language with characters (e.g slut) or overusing of words such as baby, bc idk bout you guys but it kinda cringes me out when i see that in other fanfics, okay back to the story :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took the last sip of my coca cola before saying goodbye to a couple other friends who were leaving.

"For fuck's suck." I say, a little too loud as I could see Chris and Nick abruptly glance in my direction in the corner of my eye.

"Whats up?" Nick asked

"There are no uber's available for another hour, like how is that even possible?" I exclaimed, adding a small smile at the end, I didn't want to bring down the good vibes that everyone had for the past six hours.

"Hey you know you're more than welcome to stay the night, I would have made Matt drive you but you know how much he had to drink tonight, plus he's probably out of it right now."

"No, you don't have to do that anyway, i'll check some other taxi websites theres gotta be one available righ-"

"Hey it's fine, just stay on the couch, its way too late now anyway i wouldn't want you out there alone." Nick explained.

"Okay, thank you so much you guys are the best!" I say, scanning the room to meet eyes with Chris, who was watching our conversation from the kitchen counter as he was clearing away the plastic cups and chip bags.

"Okay, now that's settled i'm going to bed, i'm wiped" Nick says as he grabs his phone from the other side of the couch. Chris followed with a quick "Me too, goodnight" before hurrying down the stairs.

"Theres more blankets in the basket down there if you need, goodnight!" Nick says before trailing up the stairs, turning off the main kitchen light.

About fifteen minutes had gone by, I somehow wasn't even sleepy even though it was nearing three in the morning. Maybe i had too much soda. I grabbed my phone from my bag and began scrolling through tiktok. I figured after a while of scrolling my eyes would get tired.

Suddenly the dim living room light turned on, I flinched as I saw Chris's silhouette approaching the couch. He sat down about a foot to the right of me.

"Can't sleep?" He asked, in a quiet,almost whisper.

"Nope." I reply, switching off my phone and placing it behind my pillow.

We both stared at eachother for a moment, Chris had a curious look on his face, as if he was dying to ask me a question.

"Hey i thought you said you were wiped, like twenty minutes ago." I say, narrowing my eyes teasingly. I knew the smartass reply he would say.

"I never said that actually." He replied, a small grin forming on his face, returning the teasing mannerisms.

"Well you said same when Nick said, and I quote,I'm going to bed, I'm wiped". I said, smiling knowing this would just egg him on for a lame excuse. Mine and Chris's friendship had always been like this, teasing and joking around, he never failed to make me laugh.

"Well, maybe thats just what i wanted him to hear." He replied, staring back at me with a grin, waiting to see my confused reaction.

"What are you doing?" I asked, half serious now.

"I figured you'd be lonely down here by yourself in the dark, so I came to stay with you."

"You're drunk" I state.

"You're sober." He replies, stating the obvious.

"Yeah well remember last week when you were holding my hair back as I was puking in the toilet? I learnt my lesson and thought i'd give myself a break tonight." I replied with a small chuckle.

"mhmmm" He mumbles. "Besides I didn't drink that much myself actually, definitly not as much as Matt." He states,clearly proud of him self and awaiting my approval.

"Wooowww" I tease, indulging into his ego.

He then moves closer to me, and squeezes up close, moving me over and laying next to me, pulling the grey fluffly blanket over us. We look deep into eachother's eyes for a moment again. His eyes were so beautiful, a crystal clear blue, which accomodated to his warm smile. That damn smile. It always triggered a comforting feeling, like i could never feel negative again when i saw it.

He was moving his head closer to mine, I watched his eyes as they were flickering from mine to my lips, which he was slowly approaching. Without warning I felt his soft lips touch mine, and i unexpectedly started to get lost in the moment, and i placed my hand around his head, gently running through his soft hair. I slowly pulled away from his lips.

"Wait what are we doing?" I whispered,coming back to my senses as i realised that maybe he had liked me all along when i have liked him.

"I thought you knew I had a mondo crush on you, I know you have one on me too, I can feel it in your energy whenever we're close." He said quietly, smiling that he had just outed my secret.

I didn't know what to say, I just gazed back into his eyes again, inspecting his playful look. He slowly put his hand on my stomach, which made me let out a gasp.

"See, I make you nervous" He said with a grin, before trailing up to my chest.

"Oh yeah, no i definitly knew" I replied sarastically, smiling at both my joke and the touch of his hands on me.

He let out a soft laugh before trailing his hand down to my waist, meeting the waistband of my shorts.

"Are you okay with this?" He asked, serious look on his face now awaiting my answer.

"Yes" I whispered, kissing his lips again to confirm. He pulled away and smiled, before trailing his hand down to my panties, moving inside of them and meeting my arousal.

"See, I knew you wanted me" He whispered jokingly into my ear as he starting moving his fingers in slow circles around my sweet spot.

I smiled at him, before moving my head back and closing my eyes in relfex to the pleasure he was inducing on me, as he was speeding up. I let out a few deep breaths.

"Ch-chris.." I whispered. "We can't, not...here what... if they hear us" I said, stuttering through deep breaths.

"Shhh, they won’t. They’re both out of it remember?" He whispered back. He stopped moving his fingers, which made me open my eyes.

He moved in to kiss me again, moving his body slightly closer again, alerting me of his hard-on against my thigh. I reached my hands down to the waistband of his shorts. Still kissing, my hands made contact with his shaft, I started moving my hand up and down, slowly speeding up the pace. He drifted away from mouth to let out a deep breath in reaction to the stimulation.

“Fuck” he whispered.

He moved my hand away, which at first confused me, until he started taking off my shorts, and then his own. He repositioned himself until he was hovering on top of me. He started burying himself into my neck, painting it with kisses. Again, I had tilted my head back to indulge in the moment.

“You ready?” He whispered, lifting his head up.

I nodded eagerly, at this point I was desperate, I had never imagined that this is how the night turned out, but this rush of everything was just what I craved for right now. I felt his tip brush against me, and the slow but intense entrance of himself inside of me. We exhaled loudly, though this made me feel conscious that one of his brothers could hear us again, I tried to put that feeling aside for now and just enjoy the moment, enjoy him.

As his thrusts increased in speed it was becoming more hard to stay so quiet. Chris noticed how I was trying so hard to suppress moans, and put one of his hands over my mouth gently. The other hand interlocked my left hand above my head. His deep breaths alone were just setting me off more. His eyes squinting as the climax was nearing. Small, muffled moans left my mouth, thankfully Chris’s hand was suppressing the evidence, I don’t think it was a noticeable enough sound for Matt to hear, even though he was just down the hall in his bedroom.

The thrusts were rapid, I began gently moving my hips along with the alignment of his to amplify the pleasure. This made his breaths become more louder, so I put my free hand over his mouth too. We were now gazing into each other’s eyes, taking in the moment, the euphoric feeling which was shared between us. Our eyes struggling to stay open as we were both so close to finishing. Our palms became sweaty from the exhales. Boom. There it was. That indescribable feeling which illuminated throughout my whole body. Throughout his whole body. As the thrusts slowed down into a halt. We looked deeply into each others eyes again, lay still for a few moments as we uncovered our mouths. Deep breaths still escaped our mouths, but we tried to keep them quiet.

There it was again. That smile.

“I think I might… I think I might love you” he whispered through exhales.

“Shut up” I quietly laughed, still breathless.

He kissed me once more, his soft lips were the cherry on the cake, I never wanted him to let them go off me. He exited me and lay on his back next to me again, his hand in mine.

*ding*…..*ding*

I opened my eyes, the warm sunlight melting through the blinds. I reached for my phone, with two texts from my mom, asking if I wanted to go to lunch with her. The time was 10:48. I looked to my right, and sure enough Chris was lay next to me. It was real. It actually happened? Holy shit.

“Chris?” I whispered.

No answer.

“Chris” I whispered, a little louder and slightly nudging him. This alerted him and he opened his eyes.

“Oh hey sexy” he said, his morning voice was raspy, but also kind of a turn on. Fuck.

“I gotta go, and you should probably go downstairs before Nick or Matt come out here and wonder why you were on the couch with me” I explained. He still had his eyes shut, but he slowly started to shift, so I knew he was listening.

“Mhmm, okay” he mumbled before sitting up.

We both put our shorts back on and he put the blanket back.

“Okay, my mom wants to meet me for lunch so I gotta run, I’ll see you soon”

“Sure thing, we should do that again soon” he said with a smirk, before trailing down the stairs to his bedroom.

[son-of-rap-bear-art]

So, do y'all remember the Adventure Time Mash-Up Pack for Minecraft back in like, 2017? Me and some friends have been messing around with that map lately and revamping some of the areas we consider a bit lacking with creative mode, and for me that was the Treehouse! I got ~100 reference pics from various episodes and tried to put it all together into the most autistically accurate Treehouse I could, and I wanna share it here cause I'm really proud of it!

Feel free to skip the text and just look at the pretty pictures. Cause when I say "autistically accurate" I MEAN IT. It's MY blog and I get to choose the special interest. :p

The exterior is mostly unchanged from the official map, but I added the orange tree from My Two Favorite People, and the pond. Also the log where Finn sits and thinks in Gotcha!

Yes, I will be mentioning specific episodes like this often.

I didn't make the Grotto, because I'm not THAT crazy, but I did make the pond really deep and filled it with the sort of things you see when Finn swims down there in Beyond the Grotto.

The first thing you see when you actually go inside is the treasure room, of course! The official map's treasure room is so small and sad, but I made it more accurate to how it looks in the show, with a ton of ladders and platforms going upwards until you get to the kitchen.

Speaking of, at this point I should show the layout I based the rooms' positions on...

I put this together myself and I THINK it's the most consistently accurate layout... of course, it's a cartoon, sometimes you'll get stuff like the bathroom in the left branch for the sake of a gag in Dentist, and characters will frequently run offscreen and then teleport to another room, BUT this is what I observed to be the most common layout seen when the camera will actually follow the characters through doors and ladders and etc.

Interestingly, the ladder in the trunk actually seems to connect to the kitchen, which is HIGHER than the living room, and then you have to go down a separate ladder to get to the living room. Confusing! But it checks out.

So yeah, climbing up past the treasure room takes you right to the kitchen! Some specific details to call out here are: - The picture of PB with the two spatulas is from Abstract, and I painted it myself in-game via a mod! Unfortunately I didn't get around to other paintings yet, they're a bit annoying to make. - The urn supposedly containing Margaret's ashes, from Conquest of Cuteness, is on one of the shelves. - There isn't a single torch in this whole build! It's carefully lit up with candles, just like the Treehouse should be! - There's actually this easily missable tiny room connected to the kitchen, seen in the last pic, that has another trapdoor and also the door to the bathroom. I believe that first shows up in Incendium and then stays around forever. - The cooler is entirely full of eggs, like how Finn exclusively buys pre-boiled eggs when grocery shopping without Jake, in Temple of Mars.

The bathroom! Funnily enough, the bathroom might be the least consistent room in the whole Treehouse. It's just made up of a toilet, bathtub, and sink, but these three things shuffle around the room entirely at random from episode to episode. In this sort of situation, I consider the most accurate way to handle it to be the same as the show: just put them wherever! So I did that.

That door in the kitchen leads to this room, connected by a bridge. I just called it the "bucket room" because it has a bucket that Finn and Jake ride in in Rainy Day Daydream, although that episode has a pretty wacky Treehouse in general.

I hooked up a hand crank with the Create mod, so you can use it like an elevator kinda.

Down the other ladder in the kitchen gets you to, the living room! This room's just a small round circle in some episodes, but others have it a bit bigger.

That bookshelf is there in Jake Suit, and has Dream Journal of a Boring Man, Vol 12 on it. Since one of the decor mods I'm using lets me place down books, I copied the 3 excerpts we get to see from it down into a written book, so it's even actually there!

A really inconsistent aspect of the living room is this weird platform with a door. I can only remember it appearing in In Your Footsteps and Three Buckets, but maybe I've just always missed it? I made it lead back into the trunk, so you can use it as a shortcut up to the kitchen.

Also over here is this workbench, which to my knowledge suddenly shows up in season 8 and becomes a REALLY REALLY consistent part of the living room?? Seriously, it's in Two Swords, Horse and Ball, Abstract... It's suddenly all over the place!! But I genuinely can't recall it existing before that. Am I crazy or is this an actual thing?

Anyway, connected by bridge to the living room is the den! Surprisingly, even though it barely even shows up in any episodes, the den is SUPER messy and lived in. I tried to reflect this by jamming as many decorative blocks as I could in there.

Also for some reason this fireplace doubles as a pizza oven in Abstract? Yeah, Abstract's got a really silly Treehouse. But it was easy enough to slot in there, so I did!

Way back to the kitchen and upwards: the bedroom! I always thought the bedroom was so tiny and cramped, but a good few episodes actually show it as pretty spacious! I tried to hit a good balance.

The pictures hung up around Finn's bed are a blurry, badly taken picture of Huntress Wizard, and a clearly old picture of Flame Princess. They're both cute choices for Finn's future, and are my girlfriends' respective favorite characters, so I included both :D

I also included the attic, which as far I know ONLY appears in Dad's Dungeon. I think it's neat, though, so I put it here. It'll be nice for survival mode storage.

If you exit through the attic, you can get to the cloud that Finn and Jake have tied down for its rainwater. The dripstone on the underside looks a bit ugly, but it makes it functional! If you scoop water out of any of the cauldrons with a bucket, it'll slowly refill with water from the cloud!

We're nearing the end! Here's a back shot of things. I added the power lines, Neptr's cave, and the farm. For some reason, Holly Jolly Secrets has a second, distinct set of powerlines, but those would be ugly so I didn't include them.

Lastly, the chicken coop, as seen in BMO Noire and mentioned in Three Buckets, featuring Lorraine. Who looks like Boobafina in this texture pack, which is silly.

I'm... honestly not very satisfied with the coop's placement, as BMO Noire shows it being out on a rarely-seen branch, but this is the best I could do without a major facelift on the tree itself.

So, yeah! That's the image limit. There's a good few extra details scattered around here and there, but I'll leave it at that. I hope this is as fun to read as it was for me to write :D

[luckykiwiii101]

Hi Wii!! 💖

It's finally my turn. My own void success story💕💕. ahhh i'm so happy! This is kind of long so sorry for that.

So, just for a back story, I have been terminally ill for a while now. I was always in pain and even after discovering subliminals 5 years ago i was never fully 'able' to get rid of my illness. But then I came across the void state one day on tiktok while looking through shifting methods and instantly knew that it was for me. The thought of it genuinely made me so happy and not in like a 'i'll get all my desires' way but in like a 'ofc i can give myself whatever I want.' way. But i kinda fell down a rabit hole on tumblr and really put the void on a pedestal that i had to 'pass' in order to get anything😔.

But then, a few weeks ago, it really clicked. I did one of those 3-day challenges (i didn't follow anyone elses, just made up my own routine and stuck to it.) and it helped tremendously both with my self concept and void concept. i know these aren't really important but they sure help lol.

Anyway i didn't get in the void in those 3 days but i realised that instead of hating not waking up in the void, my thought process was just ''well, i'm getting closer aren't I?" and i honestly caught myself off guard with that🎀🎀.

But then last night, i got ready for bed and went to sleep. But I kept waking up in the middle of the night because it was kinda hot. Anyway, i had a holiday from school so I was gonna sleep in.

My sister had to go to school tho and we share a room so when she wakes up, i usually do as well just because of all the rustling. She opened the light to our room and i felt a faint light infront of my eyes. I couldn't hear her then for a while but I just assumed that was because she left the room. Then my hearing came back and she was asking me about smth so i opened my eyes but noticed that the 'source' of the light i felt while my eyes were closed was different to which light was open in the room(I really hope that made sense). I then realised that it took awhile for me to properly feel my body again and thats when i realized i was in the void- aware- for once!! 💗💗

I honestly wasn't surprised that I woke up in the void without doing anything because I have full faith in myself but it has really helped me make my belief in the void even stronger. I have a whole list of things i want to get so when i get in the void again tonight, I'm gonna affirm for all my desires!! Wait for my full success story please 💖💖

Also, to all the people out there, i know it's hard but all you genuinely need to do is trust yourself and your power, remember you are The Creator.

Thanks again Wii, you've been great help.

(btw, so sorry for any typos, english is not my first language😔)

Success Story ✨✨✨✨💗💗💗

This is truly amazing!!

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! AND EVEN MORE PROUD THAT YOU ACTUALLY TOOK YOUR LIFE INTO YOUR OWN HANDS!!! MORE PEOPLE SHOULD BE LIKE YOU!!!

[burningbee]

So this probably going to come out of left field for anyone who still follows this Tumblr, but my drawing career has kind of petered out and for the last year or so I've been writing romance novels.

I don't really plan on actually publishing them. I've only been putting them on ao3, but I've really enjoyed writing them and I'm kinda proud of my work.

And when I say they're romance novels, I mean fully XXX raunchy ass romance. It's not pure erotica, they have plot and character growth and FEELINGS, but also a lot of sex scenes and kinky shit on top of that. Bondage, femdom, edging, monsterfucker kink, to name a few.

The first one I wrote, and I'm almost done posting, is a slow burn werewolf story. Bare bones set up is: What if imprint but everyone hated it. Kind of enemies to lovers but on the milder side. It's a straight romance, and the man is a sad wet dog boy, absolutely a pathetic baby. The woman is a cheerful, smiling on the outside, dying on the inside type. There's lots of agnst and hurt/comfort and fanficy tropes.

The second one I'm working on and recently started posting is a faerie polyamory story (mmf) and more about messy people making messy mistakes. Also, when I say faerie, I don't mean hot men with pointy ears. My faerie boys are one big fat furry muscle himbo and a goblin twink. The woman is human and very much has ADHD.

I draw my characters often, and I'd like to be able to share my stories with anyone who would be interested. Does this sound interesting to anyone? The stuff I write is pretty irreverent and fun. I've been told it comes through that I enjoyed myself in the writing. I put a lot of queer characters in them and both of my female mains are fat.

TL, DR: I've written steamy romance fics with paranormal shit and fat characters. Would anyone be interested in me posting about them here?

[yanderambling]

Hi! Can I please request an Innocent! Yandere x Knowledgable! Reader????

maybe yandere doesn't know why they feel this way, about YOU of all people. Reader knows exactly what's going on, and only encourages our dear sweet yandere, because they just look so adorable as they hold you so close, begging you to never leave them!!!

(p.s. if you're accepting emoji anons, could I be 👾?)

yes yes YES you get me and i hope i got you here because i LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!!! this kinda got away with me so i may come back to make it more coherent later but i just can't keep it to myself anymore! also p.s. to 👾: i do read your messages and they always bring a smile to my face! you're really so kind, thank you so much for your endless support it means more than you could know!! (also i'm gonna be responding to asks/messages as i get back into the swing of things so nobody think you've been forgotten!) okok i'm done now i hope you enjoy!!<3

concept: Innocent!Yandere(gn) x Enabler!Reader(gn)

words: ~2.1k

CW: 18+, mild NSFW, yandere behavior, manipulation, delusional thinking, scent spit sweat and all that fun gross stuff

Ren is a master of self-control.

They’ve had to become one ever since meeting you, and it has not been an easy undertaking.

Their entire reality was thrown out the window with just your polite greeting smile, their soul left their body when your hand shook theirs; they still swear they could feel your sheer radiance emanating from just your palm.

Something in them changed that day, something beautiful and grotesque and visceral, and it’s only getting worse in the days that follow.

They get frustrated with themself frequently, especially in the beginning. Why can’t they just be normal about you?

Why does your very presence cause their body to get so hot and feverish, their legs losing all strength as their heartbeat roars in their ears until all they can even think of is you you you?

Why does your voice send their stomach flipping and their skin tingling with goosebumps? Why can’t they stop imagining it saying all these different disgusting, perverted things to them?

Why can they never find words when you talk to them, why are they constantly stammering and spluttering their way through conversations as they try not to melt at your fond, just-this-side-of-condescending smile?

Why does every part of you fill their head with incoherent, overwhelmingly lustful thoughts? Why do they want to lick across your stomach, to run their teeth over your arms, to bury their face in your armpit until their lungs and body and mind are full of only you?

Why do they get the urge to pick your chewed gum from the trashcan and suck on it to know what your spit tastes like? Why does it taste so good? Why can’t they stop doing it?

(Why did you suddenly start chewing gum so much more often?)

Every interaction with you is a test of willpower, and the difficulty only rises as the two of you grow closer.

The first time you invited Ren to your house, they could've collapsed right there (they almost did, but you caught their arm with an easy grin that had them hurrying off to the bathroom, clutching the burning spots your fingers had occupied).

Of course, it wasn't the first time they'd been to your place. They'd actually held off a full week before they gave in to the urge to follow you home (you were almost offended it had taken that long).

But it's different being here with your knowledge, and being inside where it smelled like you, where your personality oozed from every decoration and knick-knack that populated the place, where your skin cells and sweat have soaked into the furniture- something about the proximity brings out the worst in them, they can't help but bury their face in your couch cushions every time you leave the room, they hope they're subtle enough while sliding their tongue over the armrests when you look away (they are not).

They aren't proud of the whole ‘breaking-and-entering’ thing, but they have gotten pretty good at it (once you adjusted your security system and locks to account for them, of course. They still don’t know about the hidden cameras around your home that you watch back in the mornings; they look so adorable when they’re sneaking about!).

Not a night has gone by without them watching over your slumber since their first visit. It's just too tempting, the sight of you sleeping so peacefully, spread out and lax with your mouth slightly open, a thin line of drool trailing your lip that they so terribly need to taste- and, besides, it's also for your safety! With how easy it was for them to get in here, who knows what kinds of creeps might try something when you're so vulnerable?

Really, they have to be in here to defend you from potential intruders!

(Ren is the first and only person you’ve ever gotten a security alert for.)

They feel guilty for stealing from you, too; it keeps them up at night, beyond what their souvenirs do, but they just can’t stop. It started small, just old lip balms and drink bottles, nothing you would miss, but these crumbs of your presence mean the world to them, and each one just leaves them wanting more.

So, gradually, against every decent instinct in their body, Ren went for bigger prizes: an old pair of nail clippers, a notebook lying forgotten under your bed that looks like it’s been handled plenty, and, on a particularly bold occasion, they snagged one of your cheapest looking ‘toys’- just to have around! They swear! They don’t sleep with it jammed against their mouth or anything!

(Your toys are locked up now, you don’t have the disposable income to sustain that particular addiction. You’ve taken to buying cheaper underwear too, because you know you won’t be seeing them again once they come off your body. You have half a mind to ask for some higher-quality pieces back, but you don’t want to spoil the fun too soon; you're mostly just grateful they've been sparing with your outerwear, but who knows how long that'll last...)

Originally, they had hoped that satiating their appetite for you at home would make it easier to be near you, but it hasn't (you've made certain of that).

In fact, it's almost like they're getting more sensitive to you the longer they hang around; the littlest things will set them off now.

Just your hand on their shoulder to get their attention has them vibrating out of their skin, just your arm flexing as you open a door has drool pooling in their mouth, and when you lean around them to look at something, just your breath barely grazing their face has them biting back whimpers.

But it’s getting even worse as you two get more comfortable around each other, it’s harder and harder for Ren to remind themself to be normal when you keep letting them further into your life, as if they belong there.

How are they supposed to be normal when you invite them over for dinner? And how are they supposed to stay conscious when they find out you’re cooking it? And how are they supposed to keep their heart from beating out of their chest when they come over to see you puttering about the kitchen like a snapshot from one of their domestic wet dreams? And how are they supposed to stay on their feet, to keep from choking on a litany of moans and whimpers, when you raise your sauce-covered finger to their mouth and say ‘taste’? And how are they supposed to not hyperventilate in your bathroom for a half hour afterward as they desperately relieve themself through their pants?

It's downright unreasonable.

And then there's the cuddling.

Ren knows that friends can cuddle, that there's nothing inherently sexual or romantic about intimate physical contact, but their body does not get the message.

It's the sweetest form of torture they've ever been subjected to.

It was innocent enough at first, you’d wrap an arm around them or lay your head on their shoulder, and that alone would send them catatonic. But when you first laid in their lap, Ren felt each neuron in their brain short-circuit as every nerve-ending in their body was lit ablaze- it took a good while for them to convince themself they weren't dreaming (this quickly became your favorite spot).

Soon, though, Ren would wish they dreaming, if only to save them the humiliation (they wouldn't really, they'd never give up a second of your presence, no matter how excrutiating).

They try to pull back, to be good, but it's so hard.

They can't help the way their body pushes into yours, like some magnetic force causing them to press closer closer closer. They can't stop their arms from wrapping around you, clinging to you so desperately like your the only thing anchoring them to earth, every square inch of their skin in contact with yours tingling and warm and right and they need more. They can't keep from pulling you closer, pressing harder, writhing against you like they're trying to squirm under your skin, their breaths coming heavier and faster as their movements get more frantic and discordant and fevered, their senses and thoughts tortuously and wonderfully overwhelmed with you and you and you.

Then they suddenly go very tense. Then they relax. And you turn up the TV as you settle more comfortably against them. And they try not to let the mess in their pants seep through.

They're doing their best.

By this point, Ren is just endlessly thankful that you haven't noticed their... affliction yet. They often feel guilty about taking advantage of your trust and kindness, but they can’t help feeling lucky too.

For the most part.

Your friends know, Ren is fairly certain, but they can’t just leave you be whenever you spend time with other people, and you don’t seem to mind how standoffish and clingy they are when you’re out together anyway.

(Your friends have raised several concerns, but you just like the feeling of being the center of Ren’s attention no matter who or what is around you, and feeling their hands tighten on your arm whenever a friend gets too close, and watching their breathing quicken as the jealousy steadily overcomes them, and maybe even watching a more touchy acquaintance squirm under Ren’s intense stare until they leave early, and then never questioning why that acquaintance is suddenly nowhere to be seen again. It’s really none of your concern, let alone your friends’.)

Ren tries not to let other people get them too nervous, they just remind themself how easygoing and nonchalant you’ve been since the beginning; if they haven’t scared you off themself yet, your friends probably won’t have much better luck.

You seem to have no qualms with spending every waking hour with them, save for when you lock the bathroom door behind you. You met them with a familiar wave and smile the first time they showed up at your work unannounced, and then the same each time after that. You didn’t even blink when they stuttered their way around a request to share locations, you just shrugged an affirmative and grabbed their phone from their trembling hands.

You’ve never confronted them about the things that go missing after nearly every visit to your home (you know they can’t help themself, and they just look too cute when they’re desperately tucking your toothbrush into their bag like they can’t stop their fingers!), you never give a second glance when you seem to catch them sneaking a photo of you (they’re laughably unsubtle, it’s all you can do to save their pride in the moment each time), you never comment on how feverish and clammy they are whenever you touch them (except to ask if they’re feeling okay and drinking enough water, it’s so fun to watch them melt even further at just your expression of care), and you never even say anything about how often they ‘just happen’ to run in to you on the rare occasions they haven’t scheduled themself into your day (it’s always nice to see their watery smile and puppy dog eyes!).

Every time Ren thinks they’ve pushed too far, that they’ve exposed themself for being some kind of perverted stalker, you just give them this easy smile and go right along; they're actually a little concerned about your apparent naivety, they just count themself lucky that they found you before some ill-intentioned creep could.

It’s a tightrope walk the whole way, constantly unsure of what minor misstep will end up revealing the depths of their obsession and doing them in, but Ren can’t keep themself away from you.

One day, they’ll learn to cope, to be normal and palatable and right, and then they can tell you how they feel. Then the two of you can have a proper relationship, like none of this mess ever happened with them. Then they can tell you that they love you without feeling guilt twisting their gut, and then you can say it back without them agonizing over tainting it, and then you two can finally be together, the right way.

And Ren is certain that they'll get there, though it may be hard and grueling and nigh-impossible, it will happen.

Because Ren loves you, horribly and all-consumingly, and they are a master of self-control.

thanks so much for reading! feel free to send a request <3

check my pinned post ~

[s-lycopersicum]

That post got me thinking about programming, and that maybe I should talk about one that I really had fun writing recently, and that I'm kinda proud of, so here it goes!

So, in my computer experiments and stuff like that, I often have to write scripts that process entries in various stages. For example, I had a thing where it read a list of image urls and downloaded, compressed, extracted some metadata, and saved them to disk.

That sort of process can be decomposed in various stages which, and that's the important part, can be run independently. That would massively speed up the task, but setting up the code infrastructure for that every time I needed it would be cumbersome. Which is why I wrote a little library to do it for me!

That gif is a bit fast, so here's what it looks like when it's all done:

This is from a test I wrote for the library. It simulates running a set of items through 4 different processes (which I named production lines), each with their own stages and filters.

Each line with a progress bar is a stage in the process. If you follow the traces on the left side, you can visualize how the element enter the 4 production lines on one side, and are collected on the other. The stages I wrote for the test are simple operations, but are written to simulate real world delay and errors.

To set up the processes, I do practically nothing. Just initialize the production line structure and connect the stages together, and that's it! All the work of setting up the async tasks, sending the entries from each stage to the next, filtering, error logging, even the little ascii diagram, all that happens automatically! And all that functionality packed into one data structure!

I feel like trying to explain how it does all that (and why having built it myself makes me proud) would make it harder to believe that I actually had fun doing it. I mean, it involved reading a lot of code from high profile open source projects, studying aspects of the language I had never played with (got really deep into generics with this one), and I can't really explain how I really enjoyed doing all that.

I don't know, I feel like I lost the point of what I was trying to say. Hm, I guess this feeling are harder to pin down that I expected.

[msprojects]

I'm still in denial

I was still feeling the burn from TVXQ's breakup when I came across One Direction, so I told myself I wasn't gonna get invested and give my heart to another group that'll just break it. Boybands don't last forever generally but you always keep hoping they would. So I told myself I was only gonna be a casual listener.

But it's been a week and I'm still kind of reeling. There's never going to be a reunion with all five of them. Liam's voice won't be starting most of 1D's songs ever again. I think I really loved them as a boyband more than I let on to myself. I followed them in secret and felt so happy with all their antics and loved their music as a guilty pleasure. I wish I could have just admitted I was a huge fan.

I think I'm always going to have that little regret of giving away the concert tickets I bought on a whim. I should've just gone and not felt ashamed for liking another boyband. Because here I am anyway *sad laugh* I should've just let myself have fun and say fuck it to whatever anyone thought.

When I loved them, everything felt giddier and brighter. It's reminding me of the times back then.

It kinda hurts. I put one of Harry's new songs on my playlist a couple months ago and found that I liked it. I keep thinking I should've seen that as a sign to check up on the members and see what they were up to. But I was still too proud. I had already moved on, I thought.

This is all happening with huge changes irl that I just needed to vent this out.

I still can't believe he's gone. I keep thinking there must be some sort of conspiracy and he's actually alive somewhere.

He was supposed to be in a new show. He was getting better. Despite the setbacks, there was still something for him. Even Zayn got dropped from his label before. I don't know if they were in contact at all, but I... I don't know, it's nothing I can wish for because nothing can be done now.

I wish I could have checked up on them sooner and maybe joined one of his lives and sent a message of encouragement. I listened to his songs too and the sound was very reminiscent of early 2000's pop. I could have told him I wanted to hear more of it. I don't know if it would've helped. But anything to cut through the negativity he received.

I hope there's no more pain where you are Liam. I hope you're in a better place. You led the boys with impeccable professionalism and loved the fans truly. From where you are, I hope you could see that all the love you gave is coming back a hundred fold. Rest well.

[puckpocketed]

caps fan here!

as follower of pld (the few, the proud, the courageous!), i was wondering if you had any thoughts about how he might fit in with our team, assuming he's going to be 1C with Ovi on the left and one of Wilson or Mangiapane on the right, and basically taking the former Kuznetsov/Backstrom spot on the halfwall on PP1. my thinking is that he can easily return to being a 60 point player just by the increase in ice time alone this coming season, and maybe even flirt with 70 if he has a triggerman like big O on his wing.

as someone who knows a hell of a lot more about PLD than i do, is that just wishful thinking because i'm a caps fan? what do you think?

The PLD Post, Part 2: mask-OFF

Hii!! (we are SO brave and SO correct). i am so sorry this took ages to answer, i was trying to decide how serious to be. I will admit, I was hesitant about going mask-off and hitting up the microstats and revealing that i do seriously think he can be better than he was bc that shit is kinda lame ESPECIALLY when defending a clear failhorse. but at this point any rep i have as someone with good opinions must be gone considering how many media scapegoats i've attached myself to (i got a fucking. c.gauthier ask the other day aslkjdkljas) so. mask is coming off. we've hit somewhere between well-considered manifesto and vibe check so . um. enjoy!!

I remain optimistic going from everything I've heard and from what you're saying here! But, big big asterisk. He absolutely needs to take ownership of his lack of engagement. when he speaks in media availability I believe him when he says he wants to change. The will to change is there, idk if it’s possible that any player would be satisfied with their performance being the way his was. There’s a lot that needs to be unpacked about his lack of production, the Character Issues, and what his role might look like going forward. You and any other Caps fan who reads this will have to tell me if the fit is right. Hockey talk below the cut lol!!

So before I start I have to say I know dick all about the Caps except:

You're dragging that old man (Ovechkin) to Gretzky's lawn (record) to set it on fire (break it before he retires)

Everyone is pining away for your very very injured 1C who is also Ovechkin's boybestfriend/perfect set-up guy/work wife

There's. intricate pre-game rituals?

So I'm not sure I can speak to how he will fit with your (our? i AM picking the Caps up fr given every acquisition/draft pick they've made) team with any depth or specificity. also i don't think i'd call myself a PLD expert. like. i just got here !! I haven't been following him since he was drafted or anything!! I have, however, consumed TOO MANY Kings games this past season and I can give you a broad look at what actually happened with them and why I think it didn't work out. I will not be making any overtures about being unbiased. My biases WILL slip through because I think Dubois is a sweetheart and I find the mental exercise of defending him fun <3 I’ll give you stats and observations and I will build a story that runs counter to what the prevailing media narratives say. While I stand by my opinions, they're also just one of many available interpretations of what happened.

character concerns

Everyone will be bringing it up at the first speed bump of the season, the first bad game he has. Please be prepared to have a crisis of faith and also be deeply disappointed in him. god knows I am, like, all the time <3 But... I always want to dig deeper when it comes to dominant narratives, because in following multiple teams I’ve become acutely aware of just how miserably Bad media can be at reporting on teams that aren’t their own.

I hear “Locker room cancer” accusations bandied about and I’ve yet to see anyone produce a primary source for this — podcasters, journalists, even people on nhl broadcasts will throw these words around so casually, assuming they’re correct because everyone knows the story. Some confounding factors in the character narratives arise when you scratch the surface. People who've worked with him speak well enough of him. Todd McLellan called him “misunderstood”, and had nothing bad to say about his character.

Matt Roy, who also just got picked up by the Caps, has recently said he’s a great teammate. MORE proof if you want to hear it directly, Roy went on Dropping The Gloves and had this to say about Dubois (transcript by me):

[on what actually happened] Honestly, I don’t know. I mean if you asked him he would say he had a down year. But it’s nothing like — I feel like the media paints this picture of him, and to me it couldn’t be further from the truth, you know. He’s a great teammate, he’s a great locker room guy, he gets along with everybody. So, in terms of all that I don’t know where the media is getting all this stuff. If I hated the guy I probably wouldn’t have come to Washington. He’s one of my friends on the team and I really think he’s going to have a bounce back year. I think he’s really going to be good for the team.

Matt Roy signed with the Caps of his own free will as an RD, a contested free agent in a sparse market, knowing Dubois was already here. He could’ve gone to plenty of different places. Why the hell would Roy sign here long-term, clearly wanting to play and win, if Dubois was as disliked as some pundits would have us believe??? Credible reports (and not just speculation) point to PLD’s other teammates liking him!! 

And here’s some propaganda; I direct you to this extremely sweet video where he gets asked about assisting on Akil Thomas' first NHL goal (and a bunch of other first NHL goals). He is so, so genuinely happy for Akil, who battled through injuries that set back his development for years. Just LOOK at his smile!! He can’t hold it back. (Others have said this but it looks like a little v. Like :> !!!! HELLO !!)

How does all of this happen when, supposedly, he’s a low-character asshole and a “locker room cancer”? It doesn’t line up for me.

On the other hand, I have seen Dubois cruise. He really can’t seem to bounce back from a poor start, and if you were just looking from the outside in, the scoresheet this year reflects this. The critique is fair; I’ve turned this over in my head enough times. there are less physically gifted, less skilled players, who are working so hard to stay in this league, and Dubois’ poor showing does feel somewhat like, idk, something I’d be mad about usually.

Here comes the “but”. Call this next bit the narrative section, because I’m showing my ass here: I think Dubois gets a lot of scrutiny because of his infamous Shift, which went a specific kind of viral, under the exact right conditions, and it has just. defined his career. And okay… I am not denying that the shift happened, but plenty of guys in this league have taken shifts off. come on. the season is long and they're only human. I’m not excusing it either! It was bad and he deserved his benching. Ideally, he one day becomes a player who always puts effort in. Working hard is one of my favourite traits in any player, and usually this would be enough for me to dismiss him as not worth being invested in.

and yet…. the reactions to his floundering performance feel so much like they’re about expectations as seen through the lens of The Shift. They’re calibrated differently because he went 3rd overall, and he's got this big body, the speed, the skill — it's the fact that he's got the tools and seemingly squanders them. All of this is amplified by the contract he's sitting on and his run of short-term stays on teams. Does he get this much scrutiny if he went in the 2nd or 3rd round? Does he catch this much heat for his low energy performance if that one shift clip hadn’t done all that damage? We’ll never know obviously but . I do wonder.

Final word on the character stuff is that we don’t know what truly went on in those locker rooms and i don't want to give more air time to baseless speculation. What we can examine is the hockey. The hockey tells the truth <3

the 23-24 la kings

Assuming the plan is to give PLD a look at 1/2C while he’s on the Caps, I think he’s a complementary type of player. The way he is right now, I don't think he can drive his own line or pull people up. He works with the calibre of lineys he's got and will produce the expected outcome. That sounds so obvious, but what I’m saying is I don’t think he’s capable of miracles like the best playmakers in the league, he's not about to make your guys look 15 years younger. In this vein, I look at his many first NHL goal assists as a symptom of what kind of linemates he was being paired with all season, and how unstable the situation was. His drop in point production IS more complicated than "he's just a piece of shit". From this article, the best summary I've seen of the Situation PLD was in:

LA acquired a player who had been a top-six center (and at times, winger) his entire career playing with established NHL talent. Yet after investing multiple assets to acquire Dubois and sign him to a significant contract, the team decided to put him in a third-line role where his most common linemate was a first-year NHL player who wasn’t expected to be on the roster in Alex Laferriere. Those two had a revolving door of wingers throughout the season. Moreover, Dubois’ most common on-ice teammates after Laferriere at 5-on-5 this season were Matt Roy and Andreas Englund. Gee, I wonder why he didn’t produce?

Context about Roy and Englund: Roy is a quiet but capable d-man who is defensively geared with a bit of offensive upside (j'adore. does things the right way and is very responsible and good. will throw hits but doesn't chase them or headhunt. I think playing away from the Kings’ more passive system will unlock more of his offensive potential. Matt Roy you will be SO good for the Caps I truly believe mwah mwah); and Englund is a leg weight/goon who, going by every single stat I can pull out, makes his d-partners Worse (with affection <3). Point here is neither of them being on the ice was particularly conducive to a lot of scoring chances.

As I said in my previous post, I think Dubois absolutely needs finishers. At some point there was hype around his shot but I didn't see much of that at all on lak? Eye test says: he was unwilling to shoot, and when he did shoot it felt like there was low/no commitment, no power behind it. Comments on his shooting called him “too deferential” at different turns. That’s just an insulting way to say a guy likes to pass and I truly think it circles back to the expectations thing. Would there be anything wrong with him not being much of a shooter this past season if he was another player? (Can't we just say he passed a lot this season without bringing value judgement into it? leave my failhorse ALONE!!!! like must a man score goals ,can't he be very very sweet and happy for the rookies he assisted ? wailing about it forever.)

More fun stats from that same article:

#1 on lak for passes that led to high-danger scoring chances, and scoring chances in general <- again, not a miracle worker. did not have finishers who could capitalise on these chances. its so fucked up what they did to my failwife

one of the best on lak in actually carrying the puck into the o-zone. (another reason i quite liked watching him!! transition forwards my BELOVED) everything I've ever observed about him off the cuff holds true here: he draws penalties this way, because he's fast and when he's locked in he is pretty good for controlled zone entries <3

Dubois had a career high in even-strength assists per 60, this is all in spite of his weird linemate situation and his reduced TOI and the power play mess (more on this later). he might have been deferring, but I truly think the lack of stability + good finishers, and ice time held him back from being more productive.

jim hiller

Building off that last point: even worse on the stability front, which I did allude to in the initial PLD Post, was what happened when Jim Hiller took over. You must understand one of the first clues that we were working with a different animal of a head coach is he was NOT afraid to line shuffle, and shortly after he found short-term success with that, they started running 11 forwards and 7 defensemen (you can see where it started precisely if you scroll back in lak lb because you'll find ME yelling about it LMAO). This shortened forward bench resulted in mid-game line shuffling, as in it was uncertain as to who they would be playing with from shift to shift. Hiller is on record saying he thinks it was beneficial, per this article:

It’s all about getting his deep forward corps engaged in the game. That’s sometimes difficult if you’re running four full lines and there are penalty kill or power play opportunities that alter the flow of the lines. Especially for the group of forwards who don’t kill penalties – think Kevin Fiala, Viktor Arvidsson, Quinton Byfield, Pierre-Luc Dubois – it’s an opportunity to get them extra shifts and engage in the game. “Some of our other players who don’t penalty kill, you know they can lose the flow of the game, so they enjoy it more I know,” Hiller said of having 11 forwards in action. “We’ve talked about it a lot. We really just think for our team, the way it is right now, that gives us an advantage getting those players more ice time.”

(and ok sorry to go off about my gripes with how the kings are run but .They were doing this into playoffs. This article was written during playoffs. god. CARL GRUNDSTROM, WHO HAS NEVER NOT PLAYED HARD, PLAYED 25 SECONDS IN GAME 2. all this while they were trying to get people 'engaged'. Idk. Maybe it did work for some players. I wasn’t behind that bench. But sitting one of your most energetic and committed forwards during a series in which you’re trying to come back from being down several games was a CHOICE!!!! also like what if you didn't double-shift QB. what then. And we all know how that series ended. lak coaching/management i am beating you with a pillowcase stuffed with bricks . <3)

Much was made of the Hiller takeover. I liked it at the time. In his first couple of media availabilities post-TM, Hiller emphasised bringing back "fun" to the game for many of the players who were slumping — and a reportedly tense locker room during the big skid that lost McLellan his job. It was all very Ted Lasso of him. Hiller also introduced a new way to rate Dubois for his performance every night, separate from the scoresheet. I made jokes about PLD's very special star-chart, everyone who knew about it was making jokes about it. This merit system was tailored towards communicating with Dubois what he did and didn't do well, and while no one ever went into depth about it we do know a few things:

It measured things outside of +/-, goals and assists, and was likely a score out of 5 per metric.

One of the metrics was about hits/physicality, another one was likely ‘compete’ levels.

He alluded to being measured on penalties drawn?? Or something??

Anyway it sort of … worked?? The change in Dubois was pretty immediate, the moment he was given some clear direction to work in. He played some of his BEST games of the year in the wake of this change. He got involved physically, he was not losing steam, he was drawing tons of penalties because he’s huge and fast and has good hands and IF he puts his mind to it he can truly be a transition monster.

CUE THE LINE SHUFFLING… imo, much of the progress made seemed to be lost, and the rest is history.

NOT saying Dubois is free of fault here. Needing that extra motivation to get physically involved is kinda wild, and I understand why for some people it’s a bridge too far. EYE am here for the laffs though and it's really funny that the communication came in the form of super special individualised performance evaluations/a glorified sticker chart. This is why he’s my temperamental desert flower. Wilting violet. Soggy kitten. <3 and for the record I truly don’t think I’d care if he put up 40 points per szn for the rest of his career. I don’t care because he’s a sweetie and the Bit i do when defending him is too funny. I don’t think I’d care if everyone was right about him — I just don’t actually think they are.

the power play problem

So okay, as per part 1 (my last email <3) we know Dubois thrives net front. It’s where he scored a bunch of his goals on the Jets. Every stat and the eye test supports this. So how come Lak had him stationed on the half wall doing jackshit, if he was on the power play at all?? I will admit I drove myself half crazy studying power play structures and watching LA Kings games back before coming up with a garbled, half-formed idea about how LA runs their PP. I was going to attempt to explain it here — had to do with Kevin Fiala and Dubois being lefties and how that's just an awkward passing sitch — but it turns out more than one person has had this thought and MAN I love being validated by actual hockey people. I fully thought i was making shit up in my head for a good week or two, and was seriously considering scrapping this portion . but it’s SO important for contextualising the production drop, so here goes !!

As early as September 2023 there was a story published about PLD’s role on PP1 — a place where he certainly should’ve belonged as a top-6 guy with plenty of ppg’s under his belt. From this article, which explains the issue very very neatly, and much more eloquently than I could ever hope to:

The addition of Pierre-Luc Dubois was a big one this summer; at first glance, he should be a great addition to the power play. But when digging deeper, the Kings might struggle to fit him onto the top unit. Dubois played mostly as the net front player for the Winnipeg Jets last season, the role Gabriel Vilardi often played for the Kings last season. So, it’s an easy one-to-one switch in that spot, right? Not necessarily. Dubois has all the talents to be an effective net-front player. He has the size and strength to battle in front, with the skill to effectively pop down low and create chances. However, his handedness is a big problem for this role. The Kings run their power play primarily on the left side with Kevin Fiala — Anze Kopitar when Fiala is hurt — which necessitates a right shot down low. When a right shot player pops out on the left side, there’s an easy passing angle for the half-wall player and more options for the player down low. Quick passing is key for a successful power and a left-shot can’t move the puck quick enough down low. They would have to either move too far into the corner or take the extra second to step out from and open up their body to create an effective passing angle. Time that would slow the power play down too much and allow the opposition penalty kill to get back into position. There’s also minimal shot threat from a lefty down low. We saw both Vilardi and Viktor Arvidsson frequently take the pass down low and quickly turn it into a shooting opportunity, something a left shot wouldn’t be able to do.

It then goes on to suggest 2 solutions that aren’t appealing at all:

Flip the power play entirely to accommodate Dubois net front. Not great as they dont have the players for that, and if they tried it they’d be hamstringing Adrian Kempe’s one-timer.

PLD on the bumper position. This one’s hard to swallow because that displaces Kopitar to PP2, there’s his position as captain and the optics of moving him off his spot.

In this article it is once again suggested that LA MUST flip their power play and figure out how to get PLD net front. In this article they point out how useless he was playing on the wall down the stretch, and how the only reason he seemed to be able to produce something was because he’d taken Kopitar’s spot in his absence. This article calls to attention Dubois’ worlds performance, where team Canada utilised him net front.

Big picture, the Fit

Do we see the problem here yet? It’s not the flat narrative I was sold by the national media, random assholes on twitter, and podcasters who don’t actually watch Kings matches!!!! Do we see how weird and messy and complicated it is, beyond “hey he’s just a sack of shit who isn’t trying hard enough”. Rob Blake himself has come out and admitted that they didn’t put Dubois in a position to succeed. And absolutely there was effort required on his end — a different player might have sucked it up and adapted to circumstances, a different player might never have needed that extra bit of communication, a straight up better player might have dragged his less skilled lineys up to a higher level. But the problem has always been two-fold: LA was trying to coach and manage a completely different player to the one they had in front of them and expecting good results; and Dubois was unable to keep competing with all he had in the face of that. I think both parties are at fault here. And I think, given the chance and the right circumstances, Dubois can hit 60 points again.

Okay, circling back to the big question of Fit. Will he be able to work with Ovechkin? Hard to think he could fail with one of hockey’s best goal scorers on his wing, if he does get a look at 1C. People who know the Caps better than I do, does this sound workable? Is Dubois going to be too difficult of a nut to crack for your coach? Your locker room?

And, of course, the power play issue. Maybe Dubois learns to be better on the half wall! Idk!! Maybe it was a matter of coaching and he thrives in Washington running your PP1 from there. For my money… I like him better playing net front or bumper. Do the Caps have the bodies to accommodate this? I did ask someone familiar with the Caps PP to explain it to me so I could try and figure this out but ouuuugh. My head is spinning. Someone smarter than me please jump in. I am TIRED . We don’t know what it will look like, what they’re planning to do with Dubois on the power play. You guys probably have a better idea about what’s possible than I do <3

Conclusion?

PLD is fast, big, a passing threat and a formidable net front presence when he’s given the opportunity and playing his A-game. As far as I can tell, his B-game is garbage </3 His poor performance is more complicated than people think and I’m pretty sure only the LA Kings beat reporters + the 12 kings fans on twitter know this. Most of them still dislike PLD anyway bc his low motor. I don’t blame them, I’m just more inclined to be forgiving because I love redemption arcs and I think he’s a good person. i would love to be wrong about his low-effort B-game LMAO but im trying to be realistic here. I want him to fit in and be embraced by the Caps so bad <3 Your coach sounds like he wants to help PLD succeed and is up for the challenge. The vibes from my friends who follow the Caps are always good, I’ve read through various tags and it sounds like a place that will take him in whether he likes it or not. I might be stupid but I believe in him !!! and I’ve laid out all the hockey bullshit for you to the best of my ability. Given all of this… do you think he’ll do well?

[multidimensional-trashcan]

(particle) physics dashboard simulator

professional-ton follow reblogged 🔄 particl...

➕ professional-ton follow

big L when the top doesn't even last long enough to couple with a bottom

🪦 massivest-quark-deactivated51025

SCATTER YOU AND YOUR DECAYONISM!!! I HOPE YOU'LL NEVER FIND A STABLE NUCLEUS AND MAY THE β-DECAY GET YOU!

➕ professional-ton follow

'never start an argument you know you'll never be able to finish in your lifetime'

- Albert Einstein

#the comment section is full of these freaks #looks like a graveyard in there #at least there's no need for blocking with these types

(22,045 notes)

🏋️‍♂️ giga-chad-particle follow

pussy so good you tunnel right through that coulomb potential

(43 notes)

giga-chad-particle follow reblogged 🔄 neutr...

🟢 neutrinonionionio follow

for someone that can be stopped by a sheet of paper alpha particles are surprisingly full of themsleves

🏋️‍♂️ giga-chad-particle follow

at least im not some fucking WIMP

🟢 neutrinonionionio follow

you do realize that WIMP stands for Weakly Interacting Massive Particle? there isn't even proof they exist. And while im not very massive at all you are a massive buffoon

🏋️‍♂️ giga-chad-particle follow

yuor still fucking WEAK

(578 notes)

📶 scatter-couple-kill follow

They're the cryptids of the particle world and you loved them so much we're bringing them back in a new format! So let's radiate...

#poll #who'd you rather scatter on #scatter couple kill #we'll be back to our usual bullshit soon

(9,084 notes)

physics-strongest-soldier follow reblogged 🔄 e...

⚡ electron-shmelectron follow

i'm sick of this gluonormativity! electromagnetic, weak and gravitational interaction are just as important as strong interaction!!!

⚛️ atomatic-jesus follow

you are right and you should say it

➿ physics-strongest-soldier follow

colour me impressed! an electron all on it's own, how cute... but now go back to your sugardaddy @atomatic-jesus before you hurt yourself okay?

also, gravitational interaction? really? this would be hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic.

⚡ electron-shmelectron follow

gravitational interaction holds whole galaxies with planets and stars together! maybe you should inform yourself before you go around annoying people

➿ physics-strongest-soldier follow

omp you're one of those freaks. i cant believe theres still particles out there that believe in something bigger than us. bet you also believe that we all can work together to form some sort of "organism".

honey, you're view of reality is so cracked, maybe you should put some gluon

#thought i had all of those freaks blocked #but im kinda proud of that pun ngl #freaks dni

(129,506 notes)

❌ contron follow

so if proton = pro + ton and neutron = neutral + ton shouldn't the electron actually be called contron?

#polarising ideas by me #contron #electron #proton #neutron

(3 notes)

🌈 wollaston1802 follow

hello 👋 im a bound electron ⚡ looking for a radiant photon ☄️ to excite me 🤭. i prefer a length 📏 of 656.278 nm ♥️, 486.132 nm 🩵 or 434.045 nm 💙 (some of you in the violets and ultraviolets may also do it but please no less than 364.56 nm, last time my sugar daddy got ionized they almost didn't take me back). you can find me in the L-shell 🐚 of the 5,000,000,205th H-atom ⚛️ to your left.

#balmer series #very excitable #find me 😘

(113 notes)

⬇️ a-real-downer follow

some of you really need to reconsider your word choices. using 'positive' to describe good things and 'negative' to describe bad things is sooo plum pudding model times. as someone with negative charge of -1/3e myself i refuse to accept such every-day discrimination manifested in our speech pattern

#actually negative #down quark #negatively charged particles unite!

(73 notes)

photon-with-more-than-211-mev follow reblogged...

🪦 special-relativity-my-love-deactivated2024

thank physics that there are no anti-muons in my vicinity im not ready to meet my antiparticle yet

🪦ordinary-nonrelativity-my-hate-deactivated2024

hi :)

〰️ photon-with-more-than-211-mev (new) follow

*waves at you*

#gotta love pair annihilation

(1.6 Mio notes)

🌀 double-u-double-fun follow

🎶i'm a WEAK interaction FREAK🎶

#this song just rules #everybody should listen to it #bosonic vibrations #check them out #they're great

[p4pert0wle]

I've done it,kinda

I fixed his design,perhaps

Idk it's a step up from my last attempt at him,the him in question being the fizz x ozzie child I had made

IT'S AT LEAST BETTER THAN WHAT I HAD BEFORE qwq

I'm not too sure about his outfit,I went for colors more bright to make him stand out idk man.

I changed alot of things,but not too much when it came to his body.His clothing being the biggest change,I changed his random assortment of feather colors to Fizz's hat colors and a red to match Ozzies red but made it more pinkish??

I used Ozzies other head feather color for the tips of his tail feathers,bc I wanted some kinda heart theme somewhers but I couldn't decide where.

I curved his horns back to kinda match Fizz's horns but not as big instead of the weird bull horns I was trying to give him before(No I'm not following the horn rule,I just wanted to make some fun looking horns)

And I put a lil bit of blue under his eyes bc I think it's fun :3

For the outfit,I knew I wanted to play into royal outfits but keep the poofy sleeves to represent fizz in someway(I just switched where the stripes are,with the leg stripes being on the arms and the arm ones on his pants)BUT I'M SORRY I JUST CAN'T

Like I legit cannot draw outfits or make a good outfit for the life of me the amount of struggle my brain just went through I just.Couldn't.

But I'm more proud of his design now than before,because..The stuff I was trying before I started this drawing

It's not as bad as I remember but AHG-

Idk weather or not I should keep his pupils or just don't,it'll take like actual months for me to find a design I'll fully like.He is still very much a work in progress,any oc I have is fr

Anyways just small art peices I did with him in it

I kept him orange,I was going to make him more red.But I just didn't,I wanted him to have traits from both of them but still look like his own character.

For personality I've just been descibing him to myself as 'He follows recipes to a tee but then he improvises and everything goes wrong from there' and not elaborating further.

Thank you brain

Ima say that he carries the same kinda energy Ozzie tends to,he just seems rather calm and responsible but then just has random bursts of chaotic energy.

Because while he is most likely the calmest one in the room,he's also likely to something dumb just for fun.

Idk when in the story he would come into existence,he's mostly going to be a WIP for awhile ngl

I leave now

[theoutsanityshoppe]

Hello! I have a fun story about how I found your blog! I have this OC that I really really love a lot, so I got myself a custom crochet doll of him off of etsy with some christmas money. And while i was searching for which artist to go with, i came across one who was using your little fire-headed detective guy as an example and i thought it was a really cute little design! i can't remember if i did end up going with that artist or a different one but his design really stuck out in my mind because i thought it was so neat. flash forward a bit and i see a commission advertising post from cubesona, who was using that same character as an example and i'm like "oh shit it's this guy again!". and because it was tax return season i got myself that cubesona commission of the same OC i'd gotten the doll of as a little treat for myself. and then we come to recently when i saw cubesona posting the drawing of my boy on his tumblr, and of course i went looking through the tags to see what people were saying about him. and i saw you had called him pretty and it made me really happy! so i go check the post and lo and behold i see the same little firey guy in your header! and i'm like "oh shit! it's all come full circle!!" so uh yeah neither of us knew it but i've kinda been following you for a little bit it seems alsdkjf

This is the single greatest story I could have heard this morning I FREAKING LOVE THIS.

I am suuuuuuuuuuper curious now if you went with the same etsy artist cuz I LOVE her stuff - I actually have two OC's by her and I plan on getting more later! That one, the crochet of Flint, was also the first doll I ever got of him! [I have four now hahahah I keep doing the same as you and every time I have a little extra saved money left over from things I use it to treat my self with more things of my boy] Otherwise that is just CRAZY that it went full circle like that!! I'm glad I have him in my header too since I post all my art to a secondary art blog ahhaha and yes!! your OC IS pretty!!! I loved his design and I absolutely want to know more about him! The one thing I wish cubesona did differently was put actual links/tags to us instead of just typing out our usernames cuz idk if that means the person is on tumblr, on twitter, on some other site... and I don't wanna search haha XD And also!! Thank you for the compliments on Flint~!!! It makes me very happy to hear he pops out to people when they see him adkfgjag I'm extremely proud of his design. ;v; I would be lying too if I said I wasn't saving screencaps of artist who use their art of my boy in their commission examples because it makes me INSANELY proud as an artist ksfdjgakjdfg

@kingkaibosh

[calamity-unlocked]

Hey @sashimi-buttons a very late, very happy birthday!! 💕 As you probably expected I wrote you some nark, because I'm me and you're you, hehe. Love you!

~

Hey Lark.

Both of us are at the HQ right now. You’re sitting in front of me, reading a book Grant recommended to you, something about lost cats and runaway kids. Every ten minutes, you look up at me and give me another reason why you think it’s absolute trash. But you’re still reading it, so I guess it can’t be all that bad.

Me? I’m on my phone, typing this stupid letter in my Notes app because Terry said putting my thoughts into words could help me make sense of them. He’s beginning to sound like his mom, if you ask me.

I gave it the good old college try though, and so far it’s been kinda nice. Wrote some stuff to my mom, to Jodie, to Glenn. I’m never going to send those letters to any of them of course. Whatever bullshit I’m putting down right now isn’t meant for your eyes either, so uh, if you are reading this, please stop and let me live with whatever remnants of my dignity you deign to leave me.

Right. Thoughts. Feelings.

I blanked for a full three minutes, and during that time you put the book down and told me the metaphors used are so ridiculous you wouldn’t be surprised if Douglas Adams had risen from the grave to literally ghostwrite it. (Which I think you meant as an insult? Even though you used to love Hitchhiker’s.) Then you immediately turned the next page.

I need to stop staring at you and finish this letter.

Lark, I feel alive when I’m with you. When we’re going 80 in a 65 on your bike and I hold on to your hips and the white lines on the road are a continuous blur, that’s when the world makes the most sense to me. You make my heart beat so fast I can’t even hear myself breathing. You do that, not the speed with which our joyride takes us from nowhere to nowhere, not the rush of adrenaline that unrestrained freedom brings. You.

I guess that’s love? I think that’s love.

I don’t know. I’ve never had a relationship that worked out. There are parts of me I can’t give away, doors I can’t open.

The only thing I know for certain is that I wish I’d never have to let you go. I would drive through a thousand nowheres, would keep singing along to every terrible song on the radio, would do just about anything if it meant being able to keep you next to me.

There are days when I think I’d follow you to the end of the world, but then I realize we might actually have to go there one day. I’m not proud to admit, that’s when fear creeps in a little bit. Y’know how it is. ‘I got soul but I’m not a soldier’.

(that’s the Killers)

(you probably already knew that)

Growing up I had so many asthma attacks it was a wonder they even let me join Westrock FC. You remember when I gave you that straw, back when we were kids and everyone still used plastic straws? I told you to try to breathe through it for five minutes. You didn’t have the patience for that, but you made it to fifty seconds and got the gist of what it felt like to have your own airways betray you.

Though I have memories of smoking, this body has never tasted a cigarette or joint. I’m too scared it will cause me to start wheezing again, spots dancing at the edge of my vision, chest burning like it’s got its own hell inside it.

And yet I crave them. It’s still a test of willpower, sometimes. I know how good they could make me feel. I know that it’s so damningly easy, to just light a spark and press my lips to the tip and let myself enjoy the sensation. I could probably close my eyes and pretend that just because this was the natural conclusion of my desires, giving in wouldn’t mean I'm weak.

But let’s face it. It’ll only be bad for me in the long run.

Hah. And you think your book has bad metaphors.

Loving you feels like choking. God, how I love you.

And I think it’s okay that you’ll never know. Ignorance is bliss, and all that. You seem– not happy, but at least content right now, and I’d never want to ruin that.

I think there are two things a person needs if they want to love and be loved. They have to know who they are, and they have to accept who they are.

I don’t got that first part down, and you aren’t exactly a master at that second part. So I’ll keep abstaining.

My chest won’t stop burning, but that’s okay.

It has to be okay.

~Nick

[joannerowling]

Finished the book!

Man Jo really bamboozled me, i got played like a fiddle right until the end (the Daiyu identity???) !! That woman's brain is NOT normal (compliment). The only thing i got right was…

MAN EATING PIGS

I KNEW those pigs had eaten someone and what Kevin had written wasn't about the masks! Even though that was just a Checkov's Gun kinda deduction. Checkov's Pig? Anyways, i like how it was ultimately subverted - turns out it's not such a foolproof method of making a body disappear after all!

I also looove the idea that the murderer is once again the one Rowling haters would least have suspected because they think she's a hateful misandrist lmao. And how this forced Strike to face his judgemental tendencies (fatal flaw if i've ever seen one, except he's able to rear it in when it counts).

The 80-90 chapters were the most intense and terrifying stretch of reading i've had in a long while. Literally had to pause and reassure myself that Jo would never ACTUALLY put Robin through rape again because that's not the point, but it was a near thing. The reunion with Strike was hysterical, his little jokes had me in totally unwarranted stitches, i felt like i'd just narrowly escaped myself! Amazingly immersive writing. And of course Strike's reckoning when he visisted the UHC temple in London was so incredibly satisfying.

(Also, will never forget how Robin and Strike baptised the men following them unsubtly the clown show. Jo you have spent too much time online for real this time XD)

Can't wait for ssdc especially to finish aksjhjfsjk SHE HAD THE RIGHT SUSPECT AGAIN and she even guessed the Becca/Daiyu switcharoo, even if it turned out to not have happened (which i was so relieved about for a moment, i would have been horrified if it turned out the real Becca had been murdered and they'd been forcing Louise, Kevin and Emily to pretend they couldn't tell she wasn't really herself).

I wish we'd had more news on what happened to all the people in the farm. I hope Kyle is ok. Of all the recruits on the farm his part - however small - really shook me the most besides Lin, Emily and Louise.

And of course: the ending?????? Cormoran. Honey. This wasn't ideal timing. But i'm proud of you regardless. You earned your "most character growth" badge of honour for this one. The future is bright Saladman.

[delcat177]

Hiding behind the facade of a man will not make you any less a woman. It won’t heal you of your pain.

There’s nothing wrong with your body. Please stop hating yourself.

Oh boy, there's TONS of stuff wrong with my body. I've got asthma, allergies, the one bad eye, acid reflux like nobody's business (famotidine is good for it, I gotta say), intermittent costochondritis, hypothyroid, at least two enzymatic conditions, and I haven't been to a podiatrist in years so my Achilles' tendonitis is kinda out of control, my left leg is getting to the point where it's weaker than the right, I need a doc on that. Oh, and the BPPV, but that's a nuisance more than anything.

I assume you don't know any of this, because I assume you don't know me, or you would know that I don't have any interest in going out of my way to present masculine, so I can't "hurt my body" with it. I did have a full hysterectomy about a decade back, because from puberty my periods were very heavy, very long, very painful, and pulled the rug out on my OCD/anxiety/depression meds, leaving me incapacitated and weak. After a diagnosis of PMDD with probable endometriosis, long before I identified as trans, I lobbied to have the operation done for quality of life, and when I finally did--I can't begin to describe how much better I am now. I really, honestly can't, you would have to see me in my old bleeding-out days. I'm on estrogen to avoid early menopause, calcium for my bonebs. Following in my cis aunt's footsteps, actually, my maternal line has a lot of jank uterine DNA, and Mom used to talk about how Aunt M was lying in bed after *her* hysterectomy and going "I feel so much better, I feel so much better", and the ensuing health uptick after that. So, like, not gender related, people do get confused about that. No interest in surgeries w/r/t presentation.

That covers the physical section pretty well...uh, like I said, have the anxiety triad, but it's been covered for years as long as I get my meds on time, and I'm strong enough now to make the phone calls to make that happen. That's big for me, I really did have a lot of pain after my mom died, but in the years since, I feel like I've worked through what can be worked through in grief. It still crops up, but it's not paralytic. Same with the agoraphobia, I keep working on it and it keeps getting better. I'm volunteering once a week now, and I know that's small potatoes for most people, but with my energy issues, I'm proud of myself. I'm not sure how I feel about the prospect of having a job again in this market, just because I've been off the horse so long, but I'm certainly putting feelers out there, could use extra funds for when I go see my fiance.

So, I dunno, Doc...what was your name again? You are a doctor, right? Like, my doctor? Because I'm confused why anyone else would need to know this, and, now that I think about it, I'm a little confused because I don't recall hiring anyone for a check-up, but I'm doing okay. You do read the status forms I give you at med checks, right? I know there was an anxiety bump when I started volunteering, and not gonna lie, it's stressful, but I feel a lot more alive for it. More work, more walk, less weed, like we talked about.

Gosh, it really feels nice to talk things out with you. So, schedule out for three months, see what's happening then? I'm inevitably gonna postpone once because I forgot it was due and then potentially come in five minutes late because of that *ungodly* bus stop, but the important thing is we both know that. See you then, thanks so much!

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 140

Chapter 140: "I'm Here!"

Being reminded of the current date makes me think of just how little of the entire story we actually get to see. Starting from Conny's shipment on the 12th of October 2045 where we see pretty much everything until Norman's shipment on November 3rd until it jumps a bit to January 15th for Ray's "birthday." After the escape, we see all the stuff leading up to Goldy Pond's destruction on the 29th but then we skip another month until Emma wakes up from her coma. Couple weeks go by before that big timeskip starts when the Cuvitidala squad heads out early March, with the rare shelter visits we see during flashbacks, but the story doesn't pick up for us again til mid/late October 2047 when we got the shelter exploding, followed by the several day journey to the paradise hideout, and everything else bringing us to this moment. It ends with the kids finally crossing over to the human world a week later and then we're hit with another two year timeskip to the day Emma is found. I just think it's kinda wild how much we love this series and these kids despite only seeing a couple months of their lives within a story that takes place over 4-5ish years. Can you imagine if we were given more content?

Proud mom moment as precious daughter notices how baffled my son is as he rambles over the various possibilities of this complex cube and gets him to relax and remain hopeful within seconds with little effort.

When you usually offer your hand to someone, your palm is facing upwards, correct? So to this day I still believe it was Ray who held out his hand first here. It's a tiny detail that doesn't matter too much but nonetheless, it still warms my heart. Not even trying to go full on RE fangirl right now, but the fact Emma was just the one to reassure him that everything was gonna be fine and Ray decides right after to believe her and provide support to her in return is just real sweet to me, alright?

Bro I feel so bad for Ray. He went through all that trouble wandering the Seven Walls, facing his personal demons, dealing with an unimaginable amount of stress and sorta going through a mid-life crisis and he ends up getting kicked out! All that for nothing! I'm sure if he wasn't in a total panic over Emma's whereabouts that he'd be so pissed off.

Ch181 missed an opportunity to have Ray react this same way once he found Emma. It would frighten the poor girl sure, but perhaps it could've jogged some memories too since Ray shouted similar words to her towards her back in ch137.

I feel like I'm repeating myself (though can't remember exactly from which chapter, or somewhere else), but since no demon language is actually used in the anime, I have no choice to filter in something else in my head whenever I see someone speak His name. I could be nice and just call him demon god, or Scribbles as the fandom affectionately calls him, but unfortunately for Him, my mind filters to more rude name. Let's just say that bastard is one of the nicer ones (therefore reading such harsh names in the character's voice, like Emma's, is hilarious to me).

I'm still proud my boy was so close to figuring everything out! Aaah! I forget where it was mentioned, but Shirai said that if Ray had the chance to attempt the Seven Walls again, he would be able to reach the day & night, right? Not that I would think he would actually volunteer to suffer through all that craziness again though.

As much as I dislike the demon god, I'm not at all thrilled He was given one frame during that s2 finale slideshow. The fact that she alone was able to reach the day & night is simply amazing, no doubt one of her greatest feats, and yet the anime decides to just have her appear there without enduring any of the trials necessary to reach this sacred place. Emma making a new promise so her family can live a better life is one of, if not, the biggest goals of the whole story and the second season decides it's best to have this meeting last a couple seconds at most. It makes me so twisted.

Favorite panel/moment:

I honestly wish we got to see him break out into these intense rambling sessions more often, though I suppose it shows just how insane the Seven Walls are since Ray only became a mumbling mess at the sight of this cube and nothing else during the story.