#i'm kinda proud of myself for following through with this one actually

[exophreak]

HEY LOOK IT'S THAT THING FROM ULTRAKILL

i haven't even played the game proper, but i found myself overcome by my love for robots :]

[mellowmistt]

The Sleepover-Chris Sturniolo (Part 1)

Summary: (corny, basic ahh title I know) You are good friends with the sturniolos and at their house, unabe to catch an uber late at night you are offered to stay the night on the couch, however you could not sleep and someone with the same problem comes to join you..

Warnings: smut;unprotected sex; handjobs; swearing; mentions of alcohol; NO use of y/n!

A/N: I don’t use any degrading kink language with characters (e.g slut) or overusing of words such as baby, bc idk bout you guys but it kinda cringes me out when i see that in other fanfics, okay back to the story :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took the last sip of my coca cola before saying goodbye to a couple other friends who were leaving.

"For fuck's suck." I say, a little too loud as I could see Chris and Nick abruptly glance in my direction in the corner of my eye.

"Whats up?" Nick asked

"There are no uber's available for another hour, like how is that even possible?" I exclaimed, adding a small smile at the end, I didn't want to bring down the good vibes that everyone had for the past six hours.

"Hey you know you're more than welcome to stay the night, I would have made Matt drive you but you know how much he had to drink tonight, plus he's probably out of it right now."

"No, you don't have to do that anyway, i'll check some other taxi websites theres gotta be one available righ-"

"Hey it's fine, just stay on the couch, its way too late now anyway i wouldn't want you out there alone." Nick explained.

"Okay, thank you so much you guys are the best!" I say, scanning the room to meet eyes with Chris, who was watching our conversation from the kitchen counter as he was clearing away the plastic cups and chip bags.

"Okay, now that's settled i'm going to bed, i'm wiped" Nick says as he grabs his phone from the other side of the couch. Chris followed with a quick "Me too, goodnight" before hurrying down the stairs.

"Theres more blankets in the basket down there if you need, goodnight!" Nick says before trailing up the stairs, turning off the main kitchen light.

About fifteen minutes had gone by, I somehow wasn't even sleepy even though it was nearing three in the morning. Maybe i had too much soda. I grabbed my phone from my bag and began scrolling through tiktok. I figured after a while of scrolling my eyes would get tired.

Suddenly the dim living room light turned on, I flinched as I saw Chris's silhouette approaching the couch. He sat down about a foot to the right of me.

"Can't sleep?" He asked, in a quiet,almost whisper.

"Nope." I reply, switching off my phone and placing it behind my pillow.

We both stared at eachother for a moment, Chris had a curious look on his face, as if he was dying to ask me a question.

"Hey i thought you said you were wiped, like twenty minutes ago." I say, narrowing my eyes teasingly. I knew the smartass reply he would say.

"I never said that actually." He replied, a small grin forming on his face, returning the teasing mannerisms.

"Well you said same when Nick said, and I quote,I'm going to bed, I'm wiped". I said, smiling knowing this would just egg him on for a lame excuse. Mine and Chris's friendship had always been like this, teasing and joking around, he never failed to make me laugh.

"Well, maybe thats just what i wanted him to hear." He replied, staring back at me with a grin, waiting to see my confused reaction.

"What are you doing?" I asked, half serious now.

"I figured you'd be lonely down here by yourself in the dark, so I came to stay with you."

"You're drunk" I state.

"You're sober." He replies, stating the obvious.

"Yeah well remember last week when you were holding my hair back as I was puking in the toilet? I learnt my lesson and thought i'd give myself a break tonight." I replied with a small chuckle.

"mhmmm" He mumbles. "Besides I didn't drink that much myself actually, definitly not as much as Matt." He states,clearly proud of him self and awaiting my approval.

"Wooowww" I tease, indulging into his ego.

He then moves closer to me, and squeezes up close, moving me over and laying next to me, pulling the grey fluffly blanket over us. We look deep into eachother's eyes for a moment again. His eyes were so beautiful, a crystal clear blue, which accomodated to his warm smile. That damn smile. It always triggered a comforting feeling, like i could never feel negative again when i saw it.

He was moving his head closer to mine, I watched his eyes as they were flickering from mine to my lips, which he was slowly approaching. Without warning I felt his soft lips touch mine, and i unexpectedly started to get lost in the moment, and i placed my hand around his head, gently running through his soft hair. I slowly pulled away from his lips.

"Wait what are we doing?" I whispered,coming back to my senses as i realised that maybe he had liked me all along when i have liked him.

"I thought you knew I had a mondo crush on you, I know you have one on me too, I can feel it in your energy whenever we're close." He said quietly, smiling that he had just outed my secret.

I didn't know what to say, I just gazed back into his eyes again, inspecting his playful look. He slowly put his hand on my stomach, which made me let out a gasp.

"See, I make you nervous" He said with a grin, before trailing up to my chest.

"Oh yeah, no i definitly knew" I replied sarastically, smiling at both my joke and the touch of his hands on me.

He let out a soft laugh before trailing his hand down to my waist, meeting the waistband of my shorts.

"Are you okay with this?" He asked, serious look on his face now awaiting my answer.

"Yes" I whispered, kissing his lips again to confirm. He pulled away and smiled, before trailing his hand down to my panties, moving inside of them and meeting my arousal.

"See, I knew you wanted me" He whispered jokingly into my ear as he starting moving his fingers in slow circles around my sweet spot.

I smiled at him, before moving my head back and closing my eyes in relfex to the pleasure he was inducing on me, as he was speeding up. I let out a few deep breaths.

"Ch-chris.." I whispered. "We can't, not...here what... if they hear us" I said, stuttering through deep breaths.

"Shhh, they won’t. They’re both out of it remember?" He whispered back. He stopped moving his fingers, which made me open my eyes.

He moved in to kiss me again, moving his body slightly closer again, alerting me of his hard-on against my thigh. I reached my hands down to the waistband of his shorts. Still kissing, my hands made contact with his shaft, I started moving my hand up and down, slowly speeding up the pace. He drifted away from mouth to let out a deep breath in reaction to the stimulation.

“Fuck” he whispered.

He moved my hand away, which at first confused me, until he started taking off my shorts, and then his own. He repositioned himself until he was hovering on top of me. He started burying himself into my neck, painting it with kisses. Again, I had tilted my head back to indulge in the moment.

“You ready?” He whispered, lifting his head up.

I nodded eagerly, at this point I was desperate, I had never imagined that this is how the night turned out, but this rush of everything was just what I craved for right now. I felt his tip brush against me, and the slow but intense entrance of himself inside of me. We exhaled loudly, though this made me feel conscious that one of his brothers could hear us again, I tried to put that feeling aside for now and just enjoy the moment, enjoy him.

As his thrusts increased in speed it was becoming more hard to stay so quiet. Chris noticed how I was trying so hard to suppress moans, and put one of his hands over my mouth gently. The other hand interlocked my left hand above my head. His deep breaths alone were just setting me off more. His eyes squinting as the climax was nearing. Small, muffled moans left my mouth, thankfully Chris’s hand was suppressing the evidence, I don’t think it was a noticeable enough sound for Matt to hear, even though he was just down the hall in his bedroom.

The thrusts were rapid, I began gently moving my hips along with the alignment of his to amplify the pleasure. This made his breaths become more louder, so I put my free hand over his mouth too. We were now gazing into each other’s eyes, taking in the moment, the euphoric feeling which was shared between us. Our eyes struggling to stay open as we were both so close to finishing. Our palms became sweaty from the exhales. Boom. There it was. That indescribable feeling which illuminated throughout my whole body. Throughout his whole body. As the thrusts slowed down into a halt. We looked deeply into each others eyes again, lay still for a few moments as we uncovered our mouths. Deep breaths still escaped our mouths, but we tried to keep them quiet.

There it was again. That smile.

“I think I might… I think I might love you” he whispered through exhales.

“Shut up” I quietly laughed, still breathless.

He kissed me once more, his soft lips were the cherry on the cake, I never wanted him to let them go off me. He exited me and lay on his back next to me again, his hand in mine.

*ding*…..*ding*

I opened my eyes, the warm sunlight melting through the blinds. I reached for my phone, with two texts from my mom, asking if I wanted to go to lunch with her. The time was 10:48. I looked to my right, and sure enough Chris was lay next to me. It was real. It actually happened? Holy shit.

“Chris?” I whispered.

No answer.

“Chris” I whispered, a little louder and slightly nudging him. This alerted him and he opened his eyes.

“Oh hey sexy” he said, his morning voice was raspy, but also kind of a turn on. Fuck.

“I gotta go, and you should probably go downstairs before Nick or Matt come out here and wonder why you were on the couch with me” I explained. He still had his eyes shut, but he slowly started to shift, so I knew he was listening.

“Mhmm, okay” he mumbled before sitting up.

We both put our shorts back on and he put the blanket back.

“Okay, my mom wants to meet me for lunch so I gotta run, I’ll see you soon”

“Sure thing, we should do that again soon” he said with a smirk, before trailing down the stairs to his bedroom.

[son-of-rap-bear-art]

So, do y'all remember the Adventure Time Mash-Up Pack for Minecraft back in like, 2017? Me and some friends have been messing around with that map lately and revamping some of the areas we consider a bit lacking with creative mode, and for me that was the Treehouse! I got ~100 reference pics from various episodes and tried to put it all together into the most autistically accurate Treehouse I could, and I wanna share it here cause I'm really proud of it!

Feel free to skip the text and just look at the pretty pictures. Cause when I say "autistically accurate" I MEAN IT. It's MY blog and I get to choose the special interest. :p

The exterior is mostly unchanged from the official map, but I added the orange tree from My Two Favorite People, and the pond. Also the log where Finn sits and thinks in Gotcha!

Yes, I will be mentioning specific episodes like this often.

I didn't make the Grotto, because I'm not THAT crazy, but I did make the pond really deep and filled it with the sort of things you see when Finn swims down there in Beyond the Grotto.

The first thing you see when you actually go inside is the treasure room, of course! The official map's treasure room is so small and sad, but I made it more accurate to how it looks in the show, with a ton of ladders and platforms going upwards until you get to the kitchen.

Speaking of, at this point I should show the layout I based the rooms' positions on...

I put this together myself and I THINK it's the most consistently accurate layout... of course, it's a cartoon, sometimes you'll get stuff like the bathroom in the left branch for the sake of a gag in Dentist, and characters will frequently run offscreen and then teleport to another room, BUT this is what I observed to be the most common layout seen when the camera will actually follow the characters through doors and ladders and etc.

Interestingly, the ladder in the trunk actually seems to connect to the kitchen, which is HIGHER than the living room, and then you have to go down a separate ladder to get to the living room. Confusing! But it checks out.

So yeah, climbing up past the treasure room takes you right to the kitchen! Some specific details to call out here are: - The picture of PB with the two spatulas is from Abstract, and I painted it myself in-game via a mod! Unfortunately I didn't get around to other paintings yet, they're a bit annoying to make. - The urn supposedly containing Margaret's ashes, from Conquest of Cuteness, is on one of the shelves. - There isn't a single torch in this whole build! It's carefully lit up with candles, just like the Treehouse should be! - There's actually this easily missable tiny room connected to the kitchen, seen in the last pic, that has another trapdoor and also the door to the bathroom. I believe that first shows up in Incendium and then stays around forever. - The cooler is entirely full of eggs, like how Finn exclusively buys pre-boiled eggs when grocery shopping without Jake, in Temple of Mars.

The bathroom! Funnily enough, the bathroom might be the least consistent room in the whole Treehouse. It's just made up of a toilet, bathtub, and sink, but these three things shuffle around the room entirely at random from episode to episode. In this sort of situation, I consider the most accurate way to handle it to be the same as the show: just put them wherever! So I did that.

That door in the kitchen leads to this room, connected by a bridge. I just called it the "bucket room" because it has a bucket that Finn and Jake ride in in Rainy Day Daydream, although that episode has a pretty wacky Treehouse in general.

I hooked up a hand crank with the Create mod, so you can use it like an elevator kinda.

Down the other ladder in the kitchen gets you to, the living room! This room's just a small round circle in some episodes, but others have it a bit bigger.

That bookshelf is there in Jake Suit, and has Dream Journal of a Boring Man, Vol 12 on it. Since one of the decor mods I'm using lets me place down books, I copied the 3 excerpts we get to see from it down into a written book, so it's even actually there!

A really inconsistent aspect of the living room is this weird platform with a door. I can only remember it appearing in In Your Footsteps and Three Buckets, but maybe I've just always missed it? I made it lead back into the trunk, so you can use it as a shortcut up to the kitchen.

Also over here is this workbench, which to my knowledge suddenly shows up in season 8 and becomes a REALLY REALLY consistent part of the living room?? Seriously, it's in Two Swords, Horse and Ball, Abstract... It's suddenly all over the place!! But I genuinely can't recall it existing before that. Am I crazy or is this an actual thing?

Anyway, connected by bridge to the living room is the den! Surprisingly, even though it barely even shows up in any episodes, the den is SUPER messy and lived in. I tried to reflect this by jamming as many decorative blocks as I could in there.

Also for some reason this fireplace doubles as a pizza oven in Abstract? Yeah, Abstract's got a really silly Treehouse. But it was easy enough to slot in there, so I did!

Way back to the kitchen and upwards: the bedroom! I always thought the bedroom was so tiny and cramped, but a good few episodes actually show it as pretty spacious! I tried to hit a good balance.

The pictures hung up around Finn's bed are a blurry, badly taken picture of Huntress Wizard, and a clearly old picture of Flame Princess. They're both cute choices for Finn's future, and are my girlfriends' respective favorite characters, so I included both :D

I also included the attic, which as far I know ONLY appears in Dad's Dungeon. I think it's neat, though, so I put it here. It'll be nice for survival mode storage.

If you exit through the attic, you can get to the cloud that Finn and Jake have tied down for its rainwater. The dripstone on the underside looks a bit ugly, but it makes it functional! If you scoop water out of any of the cauldrons with a bucket, it'll slowly refill with water from the cloud!

We're nearing the end! Here's a back shot of things. I added the power lines, Neptr's cave, and the farm. For some reason, Holly Jolly Secrets has a second, distinct set of powerlines, but those would be ugly so I didn't include them.

Lastly, the chicken coop, as seen in BMO Noire and mentioned in Three Buckets, featuring Lorraine. Who looks like Boobafina in this texture pack, which is silly.

I'm... honestly not very satisfied with the coop's placement, as BMO Noire shows it being out on a rarely-seen branch, but this is the best I could do without a major facelift on the tree itself.

So, yeah! That's the image limit. There's a good few extra details scattered around here and there, but I'll leave it at that. I hope this is as fun to read as it was for me to write :D

[luckykiwiii101]

Hi Wii!! 💖

It's finally my turn. My own void success story💕💕. ahhh i'm so happy! This is kind of long so sorry for that.

So, just for a back story, I have been terminally ill for a while now. I was always in pain and even after discovering subliminals 5 years ago i was never fully 'able' to get rid of my illness. But then I came across the void state one day on tiktok while looking through shifting methods and instantly knew that it was for me. The thought of it genuinely made me so happy and not in like a 'i'll get all my desires' way but in like a 'ofc i can give myself whatever I want.' way. But i kinda fell down a rabit hole on tumblr and really put the void on a pedestal that i had to 'pass' in order to get anything😔.

But then, a few weeks ago, it really clicked. I did one of those 3-day challenges (i didn't follow anyone elses, just made up my own routine and stuck to it.) and it helped tremendously both with my self concept and void concept. i know these aren't really important but they sure help lol.

Anyway i didn't get in the void in those 3 days but i realised that instead of hating not waking up in the void, my thought process was just ''well, i'm getting closer aren't I?" and i honestly caught myself off guard with that🎀🎀.

But then last night, i got ready for bed and went to sleep. But I kept waking up in the middle of the night because it was kinda hot. Anyway, i had a holiday from school so I was gonna sleep in.

My sister had to go to school tho and we share a room so when she wakes up, i usually do as well just because of all the rustling. She opened the light to our room and i felt a faint light infront of my eyes. I couldn't hear her then for a while but I just assumed that was because she left the room. Then my hearing came back and she was asking me about smth so i opened my eyes but noticed that the 'source' of the light i felt while my eyes were closed was different to which light was open in the room(I really hope that made sense). I then realised that it took awhile for me to properly feel my body again and thats when i realized i was in the void- aware- for once!! 💗💗

I honestly wasn't surprised that I woke up in the void without doing anything because I have full faith in myself but it has really helped me make my belief in the void even stronger. I have a whole list of things i want to get so when i get in the void again tonight, I'm gonna affirm for all my desires!! Wait for my full success story please 💖💖

Also, to all the people out there, i know it's hard but all you genuinely need to do is trust yourself and your power, remember you are The Creator.

Thanks again Wii, you've been great help.

(btw, so sorry for any typos, english is not my first language😔)

Success Story ✨✨✨✨💗💗💗

This is truly amazing!!

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! AND EVEN MORE PROUD THAT YOU ACTUALLY TOOK YOUR LIFE INTO YOUR OWN HANDS!!! MORE PEOPLE SHOULD BE LIKE YOU!!!

[burningbee]

So this probably going to come out of left field for anyone who still follows this Tumblr, but my drawing career has kind of petered out and for the last year or so I've been writing romance novels.

I don't really plan on actually publishing them. I've only been putting them on ao3, but I've really enjoyed writing them and I'm kinda proud of my work.

And when I say they're romance novels, I mean fully XXX raunchy ass romance. It's not pure erotica, they have plot and character growth and FEELINGS, but also a lot of sex scenes and kinky shit on top of that. Bondage, femdom, edging, monsterfucker kink, to name a few.

The first one I wrote, and I'm almost done posting, is a slow burn werewolf story. Bare bones set up is: What if imprint but everyone hated it. Kind of enemies to lovers but on the milder side. It's a straight romance, and the man is a sad wet dog boy, absolutely a pathetic baby. The woman is a cheerful, smiling on the outside, dying on the inside type. There's lots of agnst and hurt/comfort and fanficy tropes.

The second one I'm working on and recently started posting is a faerie polyamory story (mmf) and more about messy people making messy mistakes. Also, when I say faerie, I don't mean hot men with pointy ears. My faerie boys are one big fat furry muscle himbo and a goblin twink. The woman is human and very much has ADHD.

I draw my characters often, and I'd like to be able to share my stories with anyone who would be interested. Does this sound interesting to anyone? The stuff I write is pretty irreverent and fun. I've been told it comes through that I enjoyed myself in the writing. I put a lot of queer characters in them and both of my female mains are fat.

TL, DR: I've written steamy romance fics with paranormal shit and fat characters. Would anyone be interested in me posting about them here?

[yanderambling]

Hi! Can I please request an Innocent! Yandere x Knowledgable! Reader????

maybe yandere doesn't know why they feel this way, about YOU of all people. Reader knows exactly what's going on, and only encourages our dear sweet yandere, because they just look so adorable as they hold you so close, begging you to never leave them!!!

(p.s. if you're accepting emoji anons, could I be 👾?)

yes yes YES you get me and i hope i got you here because i LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!!! this kinda got away with me so i may come back to make it more coherent later but i just can't keep it to myself anymore! also p.s. to 👾: i do read your messages and they always bring a smile to my face! you're really so kind, thank you so much for your endless support it means more than you could know!! (also i'm gonna be responding to asks/messages as i get back into the swing of things so nobody think you've been forgotten!) okok i'm done now i hope you enjoy!!<3

concept: Innocent!Yandere(gn) x Enabler!Reader(gn)

words: ~2.1k

CW: 18+, mild NSFW, yandere behavior, manipulation, delusional thinking, scent spit sweat and all that fun gross stuff

Ren is a master of self-control.

They’ve had to become one ever since meeting you, and it has not been an easy undertaking.

Their entire reality was thrown out the window with just your polite greeting smile, their soul left their body when your hand shook theirs; they still swear they could feel your sheer radiance emanating from just your palm.

Something in them changed that day, something beautiful and grotesque and visceral, and it’s only getting worse in the days that follow.

They get frustrated with themself frequently, especially in the beginning. Why can’t they just be normal about you?

Why does your very presence cause their body to get so hot and feverish, their legs losing all strength as their heartbeat roars in their ears until all they can even think of is you you you?

Why does your voice send their stomach flipping and their skin tingling with goosebumps? Why can’t they stop imagining it saying all these different disgusting, perverted things to them?

Why can they never find words when you talk to them, why are they constantly stammering and spluttering their way through conversations as they try not to melt at your fond, just-this-side-of-condescending smile?

Why does every part of you fill their head with incoherent, overwhelmingly lustful thoughts? Why do they want to lick across your stomach, to run their teeth over your arms, to bury their face in your armpit until their lungs and body and mind are full of only you?

Why do they get the urge to pick your chewed gum from the trashcan and suck on it to know what your spit tastes like? Why does it taste so good? Why can’t they stop doing it?

(Why did you suddenly start chewing gum so much more often?)

Every interaction with you is a test of willpower, and the difficulty only rises as the two of you grow closer.

The first time you invited Ren to your house, they could've collapsed right there (they almost did, but you caught their arm with an easy grin that had them hurrying off to the bathroom, clutching the burning spots your fingers had occupied).

Of course, it wasn't the first time they'd been to your place. They'd actually held off a full week before they gave in to the urge to follow you home (you were almost offended it had taken that long).

But it's different being here with your knowledge, and being inside where it smelled like you, where your personality oozed from every decoration and knick-knack that populated the place, where your skin cells and sweat have soaked into the furniture- something about the proximity brings out the worst in them, they can't help but bury their face in your couch cushions every time you leave the room, they hope they're subtle enough while sliding their tongue over the armrests when you look away (they are not).

They aren't proud of the whole ‘breaking-and-entering’ thing, but they have gotten pretty good at it (once you adjusted your security system and locks to account for them, of course. They still don’t know about the hidden cameras around your home that you watch back in the mornings; they look so adorable when they’re sneaking about!).

Not a night has gone by without them watching over your slumber since their first visit. It's just too tempting, the sight of you sleeping so peacefully, spread out and lax with your mouth slightly open, a thin line of drool trailing your lip that they so terribly need to taste- and, besides, it's also for your safety! With how easy it was for them to get in here, who knows what kinds of creeps might try something when you're so vulnerable?

Really, they have to be in here to defend you from potential intruders!

(Ren is the first and only person you’ve ever gotten a security alert for.)

They feel guilty for stealing from you, too; it keeps them up at night, beyond what their souvenirs do, but they just can’t stop. It started small, just old lip balms and drink bottles, nothing you would miss, but these crumbs of your presence mean the world to them, and each one just leaves them wanting more.

So, gradually, against every decent instinct in their body, Ren went for bigger prizes: an old pair of nail clippers, a notebook lying forgotten under your bed that looks like it’s been handled plenty, and, on a particularly bold occasion, they snagged one of your cheapest looking ‘toys’- just to have around! They swear! They don’t sleep with it jammed against their mouth or anything!

(Your toys are locked up now, you don’t have the disposable income to sustain that particular addiction. You’ve taken to buying cheaper underwear too, because you know you won’t be seeing them again once they come off your body. You have half a mind to ask for some higher-quality pieces back, but you don’t want to spoil the fun too soon; you're mostly just grateful they've been sparing with your outerwear, but who knows how long that'll last...)

Originally, they had hoped that satiating their appetite for you at home would make it easier to be near you, but it hasn't (you've made certain of that).

In fact, it's almost like they're getting more sensitive to you the longer they hang around; the littlest things will set them off now.

Just your hand on their shoulder to get their attention has them vibrating out of their skin, just your arm flexing as you open a door has drool pooling in their mouth, and when you lean around them to look at something, just your breath barely grazing their face has them biting back whimpers.

But it’s getting even worse as you two get more comfortable around each other, it’s harder and harder for Ren to remind themself to be normal when you keep letting them further into your life, as if they belong there.

How are they supposed to be normal when you invite them over for dinner? And how are they supposed to stay conscious when they find out you’re cooking it? And how are they supposed to keep their heart from beating out of their chest when they come over to see you puttering about the kitchen like a snapshot from one of their domestic wet dreams? And how are they supposed to stay on their feet, to keep from choking on a litany of moans and whimpers, when you raise your sauce-covered finger to their mouth and say ‘taste’? And how are they supposed to not hyperventilate in your bathroom for a half hour afterward as they desperately relieve themself through their pants?

It's downright unreasonable.

And then there's the cuddling.

Ren knows that friends can cuddle, that there's nothing inherently sexual or romantic about intimate physical contact, but their body does not get the message.

It's the sweetest form of torture they've ever been subjected to.

It was innocent enough at first, you’d wrap an arm around them or lay your head on their shoulder, and that alone would send them catatonic. But when you first laid in their lap, Ren felt each neuron in their brain short-circuit as every nerve-ending in their body was lit ablaze- it took a good while for them to convince themself they weren't dreaming (this quickly became your favorite spot).

Soon, though, Ren would wish they dreaming, if only to save them the humiliation (they wouldn't really, they'd never give up a second of your presence, no matter how excrutiating).

They try to pull back, to be good, but it's so hard.

They can't help the way their body pushes into yours, like some magnetic force causing them to press closer closer closer. They can't stop their arms from wrapping around you, clinging to you so desperately like your the only thing anchoring them to earth, every square inch of their skin in contact with yours tingling and warm and right and they need more. They can't keep from pulling you closer, pressing harder, writhing against you like they're trying to squirm under your skin, their breaths coming heavier and faster as their movements get more frantic and discordant and fevered, their senses and thoughts tortuously and wonderfully overwhelmed with you and you and you.

Then they suddenly go very tense. Then they relax. And you turn up the TV as you settle more comfortably against them. And they try not to let the mess in their pants seep through.

They're doing their best.

By this point, Ren is just endlessly thankful that you haven't noticed their... affliction yet. They often feel guilty about taking advantage of your trust and kindness, but they can’t help feeling lucky too.

For the most part.

Your friends know, Ren is fairly certain, but they can’t just leave you be whenever you spend time with other people, and you don’t seem to mind how standoffish and clingy they are when you’re out together anyway.

(Your friends have raised several concerns, but you just like the feeling of being the center of Ren’s attention no matter who or what is around you, and feeling their hands tighten on your arm whenever a friend gets too close, and watching their breathing quicken as the jealousy steadily overcomes them, and maybe even watching a more touchy acquaintance squirm under Ren’s intense stare until they leave early, and then never questioning why that acquaintance is suddenly nowhere to be seen again. It’s really none of your concern, let alone your friends’.)

Ren tries not to let other people get them too nervous, they just remind themself how easygoing and nonchalant you’ve been since the beginning; if they haven’t scared you off themself yet, your friends probably won’t have much better luck.

You seem to have no qualms with spending every waking hour with them, save for when you lock the bathroom door behind you. You met them with a familiar wave and smile the first time they showed up at your work unannounced, and then the same each time after that. You didn’t even blink when they stuttered their way around a request to share locations, you just shrugged an affirmative and grabbed their phone from their trembling hands.

You’ve never confronted them about the things that go missing after nearly every visit to your home (you know they can’t help themself, and they just look too cute when they’re desperately tucking your toothbrush into their bag like they can’t stop their fingers!), you never give a second glance when you seem to catch them sneaking a photo of you (they’re laughably unsubtle, it’s all you can do to save their pride in the moment each time), you never comment on how feverish and clammy they are whenever you touch them (except to ask if they’re feeling okay and drinking enough water, it’s so fun to watch them melt even further at just your expression of care), and you never even say anything about how often they ‘just happen’ to run in to you on the rare occasions they haven’t scheduled themself into your day (it’s always nice to see their watery smile and puppy dog eyes!).

Every time Ren thinks they’ve pushed too far, that they’ve exposed themself for being some kind of perverted stalker, you just give them this easy smile and go right along; they're actually a little concerned about your apparent naivety, they just count themself lucky that they found you before some ill-intentioned creep could.

It’s a tightrope walk the whole way, constantly unsure of what minor misstep will end up revealing the depths of their obsession and doing them in, but Ren can’t keep themself away from you.

One day, they’ll learn to cope, to be normal and palatable and right, and then they can tell you how they feel. Then the two of you can have a proper relationship, like none of this mess ever happened with them. Then they can tell you that they love you without feeling guilt twisting their gut, and then you can say it back without them agonizing over tainting it, and then you two can finally be together, the right way.

And Ren is certain that they'll get there, though it may be hard and grueling and nigh-impossible, it will happen.

Because Ren loves you, horribly and all-consumingly, and they are a master of self-control.

thanks so much for reading! feel free to send a request <3

check my pinned post ~

[s-lycopersicum]

That post got me thinking about programming, and that maybe I should talk about one that I really had fun writing recently, and that I'm kinda proud of, so here it goes!

So, in my computer experiments and stuff like that, I often have to write scripts that process entries in various stages. For example, I had a thing where it read a list of image urls and downloaded, compressed, extracted some metadata, and saved them to disk.

That sort of process can be decomposed in various stages which, and that's the important part, can be run independently. That would massively speed up the task, but setting up the code infrastructure for that every time I needed it would be cumbersome. Which is why I wrote a little library to do it for me!

That gif is a bit fast, so here's what it looks like when it's all done:

This is from a test I wrote for the library. It simulates running a set of items through 4 different processes (which I named production lines), each with their own stages and filters.

Each line with a progress bar is a stage in the process. If you follow the traces on the left side, you can visualize how the element enter the 4 production lines on one side, and are collected on the other. The stages I wrote for the test are simple operations, but are written to simulate real world delay and errors.

To set up the processes, I do practically nothing. Just initialize the production line structure and connect the stages together, and that's it! All the work of setting up the async tasks, sending the entries from each stage to the next, filtering, error logging, even the little ascii diagram, all that happens automatically! And all that functionality packed into one data structure!

I feel like trying to explain how it does all that (and why having built it myself makes me proud) would make it harder to believe that I actually had fun doing it. I mean, it involved reading a lot of code from high profile open source projects, studying aspects of the language I had never played with (got really deep into generics with this one), and I can't really explain how I really enjoyed doing all that.

I don't know, I feel like I lost the point of what I was trying to say. Hm, I guess this feeling are harder to pin down that I expected.

[msprojects]

I'm still in denial

I was still feeling the burn from TVXQ's breakup when I came across One Direction, so I told myself I wasn't gonna get invested and give my heart to another group that'll just break it. Boybands don't last forever generally but you always keep hoping they would. So I told myself I was only gonna be a casual listener.

But it's been a week and I'm still kind of reeling. There's never going to be a reunion with all five of them. Liam's voice won't be starting most of 1D's songs ever again. I think I really loved them as a boyband more than I let on to myself. I followed them in secret and felt so happy with all their antics and loved their music as a guilty pleasure. I wish I could have just admitted I was a huge fan.

I think I'm always going to have that little regret of giving away the concert tickets I bought on a whim. I should've just gone and not felt ashamed for liking another boyband. Because here I am anyway *sad laugh* I should've just let myself have fun and say fuck it to whatever anyone thought.

When I loved them, everything felt giddier and brighter. It's reminding me of the times back then.

It kinda hurts. I put one of Harry's new songs on my playlist a couple months ago and found that I liked it. I keep thinking I should've seen that as a sign to check up on the members and see what they were up to. But I was still too proud. I had already moved on, I thought.

This is all happening with huge changes irl that I just needed to vent this out.

I still can't believe he's gone. I keep thinking there must be some sort of conspiracy and he's actually alive somewhere.

He was supposed to be in a new show. He was getting better. Despite the setbacks, there was still something for him. Even Zayn got dropped from his label before. I don't know if they were in contact at all, but I... I don't know, it's nothing I can wish for because nothing can be done now.

I wish I could have checked up on them sooner and maybe joined one of his lives and sent a message of encouragement. I listened to his songs too and the sound was very reminiscent of early 2000's pop. I could have told him I wanted to hear more of it. I don't know if it would've helped. But anything to cut through the negativity he received.

I hope there's no more pain where you are Liam. I hope you're in a better place. You led the boys with impeccable professionalism and loved the fans truly. From where you are, I hope you could see that all the love you gave is coming back a hundred fold. Rest well.

[puckpocketed]

caps fan here!

as follower of pld (the few, the proud, the courageous!), i was wondering if you had any thoughts about how he might fit in with our team, assuming he's going to be 1C with Ovi on the left and one of Wilson or Mangiapane on the right, and basically taking the former Kuznetsov/Backstrom spot on the halfwall on PP1. my thinking is that he can easily return to being a 60 point player just by the increase in ice time alone this coming season, and maybe even flirt with 70 if he has a triggerman like big O on his wing.

as someone who knows a hell of a lot more about PLD than i do, is that just wishful thinking because i'm a caps fan? what do you think?

The PLD Post, Part 2: mask-OFF

Hii!! (we are SO brave and SO correct). i am so sorry this took ages to answer, i was trying to decide how serious to be. I will admit, I was hesitant about going mask-off and hitting up the microstats and revealing that i do seriously think he can be better than he was bc that shit is kinda lame ESPECIALLY when defending a clear failhorse. but at this point any rep i have as someone with good opinions must be gone considering how many media scapegoats i've attached myself to (i got a fucking. c.gauthier ask the other day aslkjdkljas) so. mask is coming off. we've hit somewhere between well-considered manifesto and vibe check so . um. enjoy!!

I remain optimistic going from everything I've heard and from what you're saying here! But, big big asterisk. He absolutely needs to take ownership of his lack of engagement. when he speaks in media availability I believe him when he says he wants to change. The will to change is there, idk if it’s possible that any player would be satisfied with their performance being the way his was. There’s a lot that needs to be unpacked about his lack of production, the Character Issues, and what his role might look like going forward. You and any other Caps fan who reads this will have to tell me if the fit is right. Hockey talk below the cut lol!!

So before I start I have to say I know dick all about the Caps except:

You're dragging that old man (Ovechkin) to Gretzky's lawn (record) to set it on fire (break it before he retires)

Everyone is pining away for your very very injured 1C who is also Ovechkin's boybestfriend/perfect set-up guy/work wife

There's. intricate pre-game rituals?

So I'm not sure I can speak to how he will fit with your (our? i AM picking the Caps up fr given every acquisition/draft pick they've made) team with any depth or specificity. also i don't think i'd call myself a PLD expert. like. i just got here !! I haven't been following him since he was drafted or anything!! I have, however, consumed TOO MANY Kings games this past season and I can give you a broad look at what actually happened with them and why I think it didn't work out. I will not be making any overtures about being unbiased. My biases WILL slip through because I think Dubois is a sweetheart and I find the mental exercise of defending him fun <3 I’ll give you stats and observations and I will build a story that runs counter to what the prevailing media narratives say. While I stand by my opinions, they're also just one of many available interpretations of what happened.

character concerns

Everyone will be bringing it up at the first speed bump of the season, the first bad game he has. Please be prepared to have a crisis of faith and also be deeply disappointed in him. god knows I am, like, all the time <3 But... I always want to dig deeper when it comes to dominant narratives, because in following multiple teams I’ve become acutely aware of just how miserably Bad media can be at reporting on teams that aren’t their own.

I hear “Locker room cancer” accusations bandied about and I’ve yet to see anyone produce a primary source for this — podcasters, journalists, even people on nhl broadcasts will throw these words around so casually, assuming they’re correct because everyone knows the story. Some confounding factors in the character narratives arise when you scratch the surface. People who've worked with him speak well enough of him. Todd McLellan called him “misunderstood”, and had nothing bad to say about his character.

Matt Roy, who also just got picked up by the Caps, has recently said he’s a great teammate. MORE proof if you want to hear it directly, Roy went on Dropping The Gloves and had this to say about Dubois (transcript by me):

[on what actually happened] Honestly, I don’t know. I mean if you asked him he would say he had a down year. But it’s nothing like — I feel like the media paints this picture of him, and to me it couldn’t be further from the truth, you know. He’s a great teammate, he’s a great locker room guy, he gets along with everybody. So, in terms of all that I don’t know where the media is getting all this stuff. If I hated the guy I probably wouldn’t have come to Washington. He’s one of my friends on the team and I really think he’s going to have a bounce back year. I think he’s really going to be good for the team.

Matt Roy signed with the Caps of his own free will as an RD, a contested free agent in a sparse market, knowing Dubois was already here. He could’ve gone to plenty of different places. Why the hell would Roy sign here long-term, clearly wanting to play and win, if Dubois was as disliked as some pundits would have us believe??? Credible reports (and not just speculation) point to PLD’s other teammates liking him!! 

And here’s some propaganda; I direct you to this extremely sweet video where he gets asked about assisting on Akil Thomas' first NHL goal (and a bunch of other first NHL goals). He is so, so genuinely happy for Akil, who battled through injuries that set back his development for years. Just LOOK at his smile!! He can’t hold it back. (Others have said this but it looks like a little v. Like :> !!!! HELLO !!)

How does all of this happen when, supposedly, he’s a low-character asshole and a “locker room cancer”? It doesn’t line up for me.

On the other hand, I have seen Dubois cruise. He really can’t seem to bounce back from a poor start, and if you were just looking from the outside in, the scoresheet this year reflects this. The critique is fair; I’ve turned this over in my head enough times. there are less physically gifted, less skilled players, who are working so hard to stay in this league, and Dubois’ poor showing does feel somewhat like, idk, something I’d be mad about usually.

Here comes the “but”. Call this next bit the narrative section, because I’m showing my ass here: I think Dubois gets a lot of scrutiny because of his infamous Shift, which went a specific kind of viral, under the exact right conditions, and it has just. defined his career. And okay… I am not denying that the shift happened, but plenty of guys in this league have taken shifts off. come on. the season is long and they're only human. I’m not excusing it either! It was bad and he deserved his benching. Ideally, he one day becomes a player who always puts effort in. Working hard is one of my favourite traits in any player, and usually this would be enough for me to dismiss him as not worth being invested in.

and yet…. the reactions to his floundering performance feel so much like they’re about expectations as seen through the lens of The Shift. They’re calibrated differently because he went 3rd overall, and he's got this big body, the speed, the skill — it's the fact that he's got the tools and seemingly squanders them. All of this is amplified by the contract he's sitting on and his run of short-term stays on teams. Does he get this much scrutiny if he went in the 2nd or 3rd round? Does he catch this much heat for his low energy performance if that one shift clip hadn’t done all that damage? We’ll never know obviously but . I do wonder.

Final word on the character stuff is that we don’t know what truly went on in those locker rooms and i don't want to give more air time to baseless speculation. What we can examine is the hockey. The hockey tells the truth <3

the 23-24 la kings

Assuming the plan is to give PLD a look at 1/2C while he’s on the Caps, I think he’s a complementary type of player. The way he is right now, I don't think he can drive his own line or pull people up. He works with the calibre of lineys he's got and will produce the expected outcome. That sounds so obvious, but what I’m saying is I don’t think he’s capable of miracles like the best playmakers in the league, he's not about to make your guys look 15 years younger. In this vein, I look at his many first NHL goal assists as a symptom of what kind of linemates he was being paired with all season, and how unstable the situation was. His drop in point production IS more complicated than "he's just a piece of shit". From this article, the best summary I've seen of the Situation PLD was in:

LA acquired a player who had been a top-six center (and at times, winger) his entire career playing with established NHL talent. Yet after investing multiple assets to acquire Dubois and sign him to a significant contract, the team decided to put him in a third-line role where his most common linemate was a first-year NHL player who wasn’t expected to be on the roster in Alex Laferriere. Those two had a revolving door of wingers throughout the season. Moreover, Dubois’ most common on-ice teammates after Laferriere at 5-on-5 this season were Matt Roy and Andreas Englund. Gee, I wonder why he didn’t produce?

Context about Roy and Englund: Roy is a quiet but capable d-man who is defensively geared with a bit of offensive upside (j'adore. does things the right way and is very responsible and good. will throw hits but doesn't chase them or headhunt. I think playing away from the Kings’ more passive system will unlock more of his offensive potential. Matt Roy you will be SO good for the Caps I truly believe mwah mwah); and Englund is a leg weight/goon who, going by every single stat I can pull out, makes his d-partners Worse (with affection <3). Point here is neither of them being on the ice was particularly conducive to a lot of scoring chances.

As I said in my previous post, I think Dubois absolutely needs finishers. At some point there was hype around his shot but I didn't see much of that at all on lak? Eye test says: he was unwilling to shoot, and when he did shoot it felt like there was low/no commitment, no power behind it. Comments on his shooting called him “too deferential” at different turns. That’s just an insulting way to say a guy likes to pass and I truly think it circles back to the expectations thing. Would there be anything wrong with him not being much of a shooter this past season if he was another player? (Can't we just say he passed a lot this season without bringing value judgement into it? leave my failhorse ALONE!!!! like must a man score goals ,can't he be very very sweet and happy for the rookies he assisted ? wailing about it forever.)

More fun stats from that same article:

#1 on lak for passes that led to high-danger scoring chances, and scoring chances in general <- again, not a miracle worker. did not have finishers who could capitalise on these chances. its so fucked up what they did to my failwife

one of the best on lak in actually carrying the puck into the o-zone. (another reason i quite liked watching him!! transition forwards my BELOVED) everything I've ever observed about him off the cuff holds true here: he draws penalties this way, because he's fast and when he's locked in he is pretty good for controlled zone entries <3

Dubois had a career high in even-strength assists per 60, this is all in spite of his weird linemate situation and his reduced TOI and the power play mess (more on this later). he might have been deferring, but I truly think the lack of stability + good finishers, and ice time held him back from being more productive.

jim hiller

Building off that last point: even worse on the stability front, which I did allude to in the initial PLD Post, was what happened when Jim Hiller took over. You must understand one of the first clues that we were working with a different animal of a head coach is he was NOT afraid to line shuffle, and shortly after he found short-term success with that, they started running 11 forwards and 7 defensemen (you can see where it started precisely if you scroll back in lak lb because you'll find ME yelling about it LMAO). This shortened forward bench resulted in mid-game line shuffling, as in it was uncertain as to who they would be playing with from shift to shift. Hiller is on record saying he thinks it was beneficial, per this article:

It’s all about getting his deep forward corps engaged in the game. That’s sometimes difficult if you’re running four full lines and there are penalty kill or power play opportunities that alter the flow of the lines. Especially for the group of forwards who don’t kill penalties – think Kevin Fiala, Viktor Arvidsson, Quinton Byfield, Pierre-Luc Dubois – it’s an opportunity to get them extra shifts and engage in the game. “Some of our other players who don’t penalty kill, you know they can lose the flow of the game, so they enjoy it more I know,” Hiller said of having 11 forwards in action. “We’ve talked about it a lot. We really just think for our team, the way it is right now, that gives us an advantage getting those players more ice time.”

(and ok sorry to go off about my gripes with how the kings are run but .They were doing this into playoffs. This article was written during playoffs. god. CARL GRUNDSTROM, WHO HAS NEVER NOT PLAYED HARD, PLAYED 25 SECONDS IN GAME 2. all this while they were trying to get people 'engaged'. Idk. Maybe it did work for some players. I wasn’t behind that bench. But sitting one of your most energetic and committed forwards during a series in which you’re trying to come back from being down several games was a CHOICE!!!! also like what if you didn't double-shift QB. what then. And we all know how that series ended. lak coaching/management i am beating you with a pillowcase stuffed with bricks . <3)

Much was made of the Hiller takeover. I liked it at the time. In his first couple of media availabilities post-TM, Hiller emphasised bringing back "fun" to the game for many of the players who were slumping — and a reportedly tense locker room during the big skid that lost McLellan his job. It was all very Ted Lasso of him. Hiller also introduced a new way to rate Dubois for his performance every night, separate from the scoresheet. I made jokes about PLD's very special star-chart, everyone who knew about it was making jokes about it. This merit system was tailored towards communicating with Dubois what he did and didn't do well, and while no one ever went into depth about it we do know a few things:

It measured things outside of +/-, goals and assists, and was likely a score out of 5 per metric.

One of the metrics was about hits/physicality, another one was likely ‘compete’ levels.

He alluded to being measured on penalties drawn?? Or something??

Anyway it sort of … worked?? The change in Dubois was pretty immediate, the moment he was given some clear direction to work in. He played some of his BEST games of the year in the wake of this change. He got involved physically, he was not losing steam, he was drawing tons of penalties because he’s huge and fast and has good hands and IF he puts his mind to it he can truly be a transition monster.

CUE THE LINE SHUFFLING… imo, much of the progress made seemed to be lost, and the rest is history.

NOT saying Dubois is free of fault here. Needing that extra motivation to get physically involved is kinda wild, and I understand why for some people it’s a bridge too far. EYE am here for the laffs though and it's really funny that the communication came in the form of super special individualised performance evaluations/a glorified sticker chart. This is why he’s my temperamental desert flower. Wilting violet. Soggy kitten. <3 and for the record I truly don’t think I’d care if he put up 40 points per szn for the rest of his career. I don’t care because he’s a sweetie and the Bit i do when defending him is too funny. I don’t think I’d care if everyone was right about him — I just don’t actually think they are.

the power play problem

So okay, as per part 1 (my last email <3) we know Dubois thrives net front. It’s where he scored a bunch of his goals on the Jets. Every stat and the eye test supports this. So how come Lak had him stationed on the half wall doing jackshit, if he was on the power play at all?? I will admit I drove myself half crazy studying power play structures and watching LA Kings games back before coming up with a garbled, half-formed idea about how LA runs their PP. I was going to attempt to explain it here — had to do with Kevin Fiala and Dubois being lefties and how that's just an awkward passing sitch — but it turns out more than one person has had this thought and MAN I love being validated by actual hockey people. I fully thought i was making shit up in my head for a good week or two, and was seriously considering scrapping this portion . but it’s SO important for contextualising the production drop, so here goes !!

As early as September 2023 there was a story published about PLD’s role on PP1 — a place where he certainly should’ve belonged as a top-6 guy with plenty of ppg’s under his belt. From this article, which explains the issue very very neatly, and much more eloquently than I could ever hope to:

The addition of Pierre-Luc Dubois was a big one this summer; at first glance, he should be a great addition to the power play. But when digging deeper, the Kings might struggle to fit him onto the top unit. Dubois played mostly as the net front player for the Winnipeg Jets last season, the role Gabriel Vilardi often played for the Kings last season. So, it’s an easy one-to-one switch in that spot, right? Not necessarily. Dubois has all the talents to be an effective net-front player. He has the size and strength to battle in front, with the skill to effectively pop down low and create chances. However, his handedness is a big problem for this role. The Kings run their power play primarily on the left side with Kevin Fiala — Anze Kopitar when Fiala is hurt — which necessitates a right shot down low. When a right shot player pops out on the left side, there’s an easy passing angle for the half-wall player and more options for the player down low. Quick passing is key for a successful power and a left-shot can’t move the puck quick enough down low. They would have to either move too far into the corner or take the extra second to step out from and open up their body to create an effective passing angle. Time that would slow the power play down too much and allow the opposition penalty kill to get back into position. There’s also minimal shot threat from a lefty down low. We saw both Vilardi and Viktor Arvidsson frequently take the pass down low and quickly turn it into a shooting opportunity, something a left shot wouldn’t be able to do.

It then goes on to suggest 2 solutions that aren’t appealing at all:

Flip the power play entirely to accommodate Dubois net front. Not great as they dont have the players for that, and if they tried it they’d be hamstringing Adrian Kempe’s one-timer.

PLD on the bumper position. This one’s hard to swallow because that displaces Kopitar to PP2, there’s his position as captain and the optics of moving him off his spot.

In this article it is once again suggested that LA MUST flip their power play and figure out how to get PLD net front. In this article they point out how useless he was playing on the wall down the stretch, and how the only reason he seemed to be able to produce something was because he’d taken Kopitar’s spot in his absence. This article calls to attention Dubois’ worlds performance, where team Canada utilised him net front.

Big picture, the Fit

Do we see the problem here yet? It’s not the flat narrative I was sold by the national media, random assholes on twitter, and podcasters who don’t actually watch Kings matches!!!! Do we see how weird and messy and complicated it is, beyond “hey he’s just a sack of shit who isn’t trying hard enough”. Rob Blake himself has come out and admitted that they didn’t put Dubois in a position to succeed. And absolutely there was effort required on his end — a different player might have sucked it up and adapted to circumstances, a different player might never have needed that extra bit of communication, a straight up better player might have dragged his less skilled lineys up to a higher level. But the problem has always been two-fold: LA was trying to coach and manage a completely different player to the one they had in front of them and expecting good results; and Dubois was unable to keep competing with all he had in the face of that. I think both parties are at fault here. And I think, given the chance and the right circumstances, Dubois can hit 60 points again.

Okay, circling back to the big question of Fit. Will he be able to work with Ovechkin? Hard to think he could fail with one of hockey’s best goal scorers on his wing, if he does get a look at 1C. People who know the Caps better than I do, does this sound workable? Is Dubois going to be too difficult of a nut to crack for your coach? Your locker room?

And, of course, the power play issue. Maybe Dubois learns to be better on the half wall! Idk!! Maybe it was a matter of coaching and he thrives in Washington running your PP1 from there. For my money… I like him better playing net front or bumper. Do the Caps have the bodies to accommodate this? I did ask someone familiar with the Caps PP to explain it to me so I could try and figure this out but ouuuugh. My head is spinning. Someone smarter than me please jump in. I am TIRED . We don’t know what it will look like, what they’re planning to do with Dubois on the power play. You guys probably have a better idea about what’s possible than I do <3

Conclusion?

PLD is fast, big, a passing threat and a formidable net front presence when he’s given the opportunity and playing his A-game. As far as I can tell, his B-game is garbage </3 His poor performance is more complicated than people think and I’m pretty sure only the LA Kings beat reporters + the 12 kings fans on twitter know this. Most of them still dislike PLD anyway bc his low motor. I don’t blame them, I’m just more inclined to be forgiving because I love redemption arcs and I think he’s a good person. i would love to be wrong about his low-effort B-game LMAO but im trying to be realistic here. I want him to fit in and be embraced by the Caps so bad <3 Your coach sounds like he wants to help PLD succeed and is up for the challenge. The vibes from my friends who follow the Caps are always good, I’ve read through various tags and it sounds like a place that will take him in whether he likes it or not. I might be stupid but I believe in him !!! and I’ve laid out all the hockey bullshit for you to the best of my ability. Given all of this… do you think he’ll do well?

[cconfusedkat]

(shaking hands, functioning on three iced coffees, not beta read we just die) (LIL BRO TREATING THIS LIKE AO3Anyways yeah i did not read anything i typed here a second time so my wording might Suck Major Kuss)

Hey chat! sorry my holiday depression unfortunately kicked in, i had a ,, relatively decent Eid (cuz i dont celebrate christmas) ...? so i hope everyone had a relatively better holiday than i did… 💦

My friends often tell me i look like my art and i kinda see it. Hooray! Meeting the artist! Except i took matters into my own hands of making my own collage because I Do Not Have Enough Storage Space For Any Other Editing App

Additional shitpost ❤️ the art I've been most proud of are not actually in here, really! I'm mainly proud of the fanart i made for the few smiling critters AU's aaaall the way back feb-march but. I guess the stuff i liked the most i did this year was probably for the one who wilts? Im trying to think of stuff earlier than that. I noticed i definitely had an improvement in art, and i learned i do have a preference of drawing certain ways now too lmao- the fun of art! I hope to improve more in 2025 :-)

Herm,, all jokes aside, im glad people like my art...?? I am not a very Secure artist myself (already taking me five minutes to type that out and consider myself as an artist) so im SHOCKED when people Actually like my things. My doodles. The sometimes rare occasion of real art i put out there. Like! Wow! Thats crazy

Id have to say the same for youtube- im currently at 456 subscribers 🥺❤️ that is huge to me,, i wouldnt have expected me posting for the first time in years on youtube would result to me getting this many subscribers? ? .???

Im very, VERY thankful for the people ive met this year through fandom and generally. Unfortunately—for the past few months—Ive hit a really low stump in my mental health that limits me from talking to people without getting super drained, even on social media i kinda struggle with being active again. I am thankful for the people that continue to stick around and know im the way that i am,, one day ill be mentally stronger and everyone is gonna see my growth as soon as i can ,, Actually leave my own home and hopefully start a new. I didnt really consider that until one of my friends shared its experiences with me and i GENUINELY realized i can run away and get better one day,, there is a light at the end of the tunnel,, there IS,, but not now. Not today. Not in a few months. Itll take me years to heal but 2025 and ongoing years as i get more freedom to do so,,

UHHHH UHHH. ASIDE FROM CHEESY RANTING OF HAVING HOPES FOR THE FUTURE, YAPYAPYAP- i got a drawing tablet (again another thing my friend inspired me for- technically two major things in a row it inspired me for- hope in the future and drawing BWAHAHA-) and uhhh. HmMMOOHHH YEAH I REUNITED MY MEOWMEOWS! HOORA🎊🎊🎊🎊

my 2025 goals are not just improvement in art,, but in hopes of getting a full time job (since my last full time UMM. did NOT work out well! How am i gonna learn to pay my taxes on my own dawg,) and trying to get a place of my own since i missed out on that two years ago (or one? One year ago? I DUNNO..!!!!) , therapy and trying to heal better compared to my terrible stumps of 2022-2024,, i dunno what else but. Maybe working on my social skills at some point 🗿🗿 a far fetched goal is moving out of state completely and also going on testosterone but that is farrrr from now </33

Thank you lot for following and keeping up with my goofiness i gen did not think an animanga nerd with a passion of indie and mascot horror games could reach 510 followers within one year HELPPP thats crazy

On less serious goals though i hope on watching more animes than reading manga in 2025 BWAHAHAGAHSAJD i read manga more and anime is Extremely Rare for me to watch but both jjk and Beastars have all ive been watching as of recent lol- trust i will be such a geek (girl Please that is NAWT something to look forward to) (YES IT IS. HAVE YOU NO WHIMSY?)

[buhloodweeeave]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

ahhh okay okay.

So. I'm gonna use this as a little opportunity I guess to say hello to the followers out there seeing this! Hi I'm sex_and_cum on Ao3 and you're watching Disney Channel.

I have like a lot of weird reservations about my work and sharing it outside of like a few places on Discord and don't really actively advertise them anywhere else so this is uh. Definitely new for me.

Personally, I just recently learned how to love myself. 28 years on this bitch of an earth was all it took I guess!

So a lot of my attitude around being like "hey my writing is good!" is still a lot like a just-hatched chick. A lot of people tell me that it's good. I know I have "a following" or whatever. And that's like really weirdly uncomfortable for me??? It's not Bad uncomfortable just... it makes me squirm in my seat and a pit form in my stomach.

Writing gives me so much excitement and makes me smile. I'll always remember New Years Eve 2023, posting the chapter of Roommates JUST under the wire of when the clock hit 12 my time and celebrating with my friends.

And yet I was terrified. I wasn't sure it was good enough - to this day, it still sits only half-beta'd! I tore it out from under Greenegem's hands so that I could post it! Ha!

I still feel like Roommates isn't good enough because this is the story of me. It's Astarion and Gale, sure. But the hard stuff? The pain in this story? That's mine.

I've worked through a lot using this fic. And the reason I haven't updated it in 3 months is because I have fucking 60k of it unpublished. Writing this, my baby and favorite child, is much like healing - it's not linear. Even though it's linear. Like the storyline is linear. But I don't write it all in like 1-2-3 okay I'm just rambling now.

It's not abandoned. I could nevaaa!!! I'm just giving it the time and love it really needs.

BUT SPEAKING OF NEW YEARS EVE 2023

Dearest darlingest Kagebrain created art for that chapter, and then a couple months later I got the opportunity to return the love they'd put so much painstaking effort into creating this art for that New Years chapter. And I'm really fucking proud of this fic to this day. I got to use my favorite band, I got to write Astarion fisting Gale and fucking him with a massive cock, I got to write them falling in love and work through their first misunderstanding.

SPEAKING OF FALLING IN LOVE

I've met so many wonderful, incredible people because of Bloodweave. Ask me anything I'll gush about my friends any day of the week.

But now I get to gush about @completelyrottenthings.

She had started writing this little fic for a writing challenge, and I was immediately obsessed with the concept: Gale snorting coke off Astarion's ass. And I was like. Do. Do you want a. Do you want a coauthor. And she was like YEAH??? And then it colloquially became known as Cokefic. And then it became known as Puppyfic. And then she and I got a lot closer. And then I told her I had feelings for her and she told me she had feelings for me. And then we DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS. And then we did do something about it and now she knows how much I love her. Kinda epic tbh.

Anyways we keep just extending this fic forever, we have 2 more chapters planned - a wedding and a honeymoon. But who's to say if we'll actually keep that cap when this was supposed to be one entire chapter?

SPEAKING OF KISSING

Okay that's getting old and also I didn't have a segue. I'm technically breaking the rules here because this is a series and not a single fic but here have it anyways.

Would You Just Shut Up Already? and Please, Shut Me Up! were two writing exercises I planned out one day because I was feeling like I was just stagnating and also I have something called Too Many WIPS Syndrome so I wanted to do something I KNEW I could finish. I posted a chapter each day and it was a fucking blast writing it. I do really need to go back and do some edits but that'll happen eventually.

Where am I going next, though?

I have two answers: death and food.

I KNOW I KNOW I'M BREAKING THE RULES I KNOW IT'S ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE FIVE. I know.

Reflexive Studies was brought on by @patheticfangirl saying "hey did you know there's only like 15 fics in the Necromancy of Thay tag?" to me one day. Naturally, in response, I said "what if the Necromancy of Thay and Gale's orb had sex?" And, as miss patheticfangirl is apt to say, she said; "what." Yeah so that exists now. It's written from Gale's academic fascination with the concept of death and necromancy as an Art, and it's satisfied a deep academic tingle in my brain. I SWEAR THERE WILL ONLY BE ONE MORE FUCKING CHAPTER (where they fuck.)

And Whipped Into Shape. Now that... that's a beast. I just wanted to have some fun with Gale being fat and sucking cock in a locker room but now it's like. So much more than that. The CSS has been a lot of fun to fuck around with, and I owe a lot of that work to @ezrasmoon!!! Whomst I love so very dearly!!! I'm gonna be so real tho I don't even have an ending planned. It's like vaguely following Something Legally Blonde-ish in terms of plot beats so. We'll... we'll see. If you're hungry and can stomach the post-Cazador ED issues Astarion has, bon appetit - this one's just for you.

So. That's. Yeah that's some of my work.

Uh.

OH actually this is a good time to outline what I've got planned: - Finishing Model Spotlight is on the horizon - Next chapter of Roommates and then another after that very quickly - More Whipped Into Shape - More Reflexive Studies - 2 swapfics for the holidays! (One's not Bloodweave ;)) - AND THEN I'M BANNED FROM STARTING ANYTHING NEW OR POSTING ANYTHING NEW UNTIL I FINISH A BUNCH OF STUFF. I'M FUCKING BANNED DUDE. BANNED. DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS.

If you know where to find me, you know where to find me. If you like my stuff thanks for hangin' :)

[gay-david-tennant]

(particle) physics dashboard simulator

professional-ton follow reblogged 🔄 particl...

➕ professional-ton follow

big L when the top doesn't even last long enough to couple with a bottom

🪦 massivest-quark-deactivated51025

SCATTER YOU AND YOUR DECAYONISM!!! I HOPE YOU'LL NEVER FIND A STABLE NUCLEUS AND MAY THE β-DECAY GET YOU!

➕ professional-ton follow

'never start an argument you know you'll never be able to finish in your lifetime'

- Albert Einstein

#the comment section is full of these freaks #looks like a graveyard in there #at least there's no need for blocking with these types

(22,045 notes)

🏋️‍♂️ giga-chad-particle follow

pussy so good you tunnel right through that coulomb potential

(43 notes)

giga-chad-particle follow reblogged 🔄 neutr...

🟢 neutrinonionionio follow

for someone that can be stopped by a sheet of paper alpha particles are surprisingly full of themsleves

🏋️‍♂️ giga-chad-particle follow

at least im not some fucking WIMP

🟢 neutrinonionionio follow

you do realize that WIMP stands for Weakly Interacting Massive Particle? there isn't even proof they exist. And while im not very massive at all you are a massive buffoon

🏋️‍♂️ giga-chad-particle follow

yuor still fucking WEAK

(578 notes)

📶 scatter-couple-kill follow

They're the cryptids of the particle world and you loved them so much we're bringing them back in a new format! So let's radiate...

#poll #who'd you rather scatter on #scatter couple kill #we'll be back to our usual bullshit soon

(9,084 notes)

physics-strongest-soldier follow reblogged 🔄 e...

⚡ electron-shmelectron follow

i'm sick of this gluonormativity! electromagnetic, weak and gravitational interaction are just as important as strong interaction!!!

⚛️ atomatic-jesus follow

you are right and you should say it

➿ physics-strongest-soldier follow

colour me impressed! an electron all on it's own, how cute... but now go back to your sugardaddy @atomatic-jesus before you hurt yourself okay?

also, gravitational interaction? really? this would be hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic.

⚡ electron-shmelectron follow

gravitational interaction holds whole galaxies with planets and stars together! maybe you should inform yourself before you go around annoying people

➿ physics-strongest-soldier follow

omp you're one of those freaks. i cant believe theres still particles out there that believe in something bigger than us. bet you also believe that we all can work together to form some sort of "organism".

honey, you're view of reality is so cracked, maybe you should put some gluon

#thought i had all of those freaks blocked #but im kinda proud of that pun ngl #freaks dni

(129,506 notes)

❌ contron follow

so if proton = pro + ton and neutron = neutral + ton shouldn't the electron actually be called contron?

#polarising ideas by me #contron #electron #proton #neutron

(3 notes)

🌈 wollaston1802 follow

hello 👋 im a bound electron ⚡ looking for a radiant photon ☄️ to excite me 🤭. i prefer a length 📏 of 656.278 nm ♥️, 486.132 nm 🩵 or 434.045 nm 💙 (some of you in the violets and ultraviolets may also do it but please no less than 364.56 nm, last time my sugar daddy got ionized they almost didn't take me back). you can find me in the L-shell 🐚 of the 5,000,000,205th H-atom ⚛️ to your left.

#balmer series #very excitable #find me 😘

(113 notes)

⬇️ a-real-downer follow

some of you really need to reconsider your word choices. using 'positive' to describe good things and 'negative' to describe bad things is sooo plum pudding model times. as someone with negative charge of -1/3e myself i refuse to accept such every-day discrimination manifested in our speech pattern

#actually negative #down quark #negatively charged particles unite!

(73 notes)

photon-with-more-than-211-mev follow reblogged...

🪦 special-relativity-my-love-deactivated2024

thank physics that there are no anti-muons in my vicinity im not ready to meet my antiparticle yet

🪦ordinary-nonrelativity-my-hate-deactivated2024

hi :)

〰️ photon-with-more-than-211-mev (new) follow

*waves at you*

#gotta love pair annihilation

(1.6 Mio notes)

🌀 double-u-double-fun follow

🎶i'm a WEAK interaction FREAK🎶

#this song just rules #everybody should listen to it #bosonic vibrations #check them out #they're great

[herrling]

🥀💋 HAUSKATZE RANDOM HCS 💋🥀

Katze's pronouns are they/he/it, just in case!

- Katze is very chaotic at expressing their feelings. I mean they can freely show physical affection and shower me with compliments, but when it comes to being sentimental and deep they seem a little bit... avoidant? like simply saying "I love you" with a straight face is quite a challenge for them. it's 1000 times easier for them to say "oh darling keep on being so adorable and I might end up eating you alive~" or something like that.

- they DO say some soapy stuff at times. Katze once finds themself willing to be sentimental with me. it's such a weird (and a bit annoying) feeling for them but they get quite curious about it.

- okay it's obvious but he's a KISSER. but of course, they kiss me for the sake of kissing, as showing affection, and not to steal my appearance like he did with other people before. and he's quite random with it. they can randomly appear in front of my face and give me the lewdest smooch imaginable and then disappear, leaving me flustered and confused (not in a bad way tho. never in a bad way!)

- their tail is always there - around my waist, my leg, my arm, or simply tickling my chin or cheek. it's texture is incomprehensive, but it's not uncomfortable - far from it, actually

- Katze treats me like his dress up doll. "darling, look at this dress I found for ya~!", "sweetie, let me try some make up I think would suit for you~", "oh Sophie-Sophie, I think this nail polish is perfect for your cute little fingers!". (it's not like I complain though)

- still learning about his feelings, and along with that about feelings in general, so... needs some time to come up with proper way to provide comfort when needed. what they can always guarantee though are 1) their arms to wrap around me and chest for me to lay on 2) some quality time to distract me, be it video games, movies or just fooling around, like hide and seek or "catch uncle Katze!" (yes I picked on that russian localization of "Katze-san" as "uncle Katze" (as a way to refer to male strangers/older acquaintances) in fandub because it's kinda cute)

- isn't immune to cuteness aggression. again, the will to just eat me alive right here right now they'll express verbally or just by playfully biting me a little, or simply pinching my cheeks

- calls me his "ho". yeah. "merry christmas ho <3", like that.

- our relationship started as "well bothering humans in general is not fun anymore anyway~" kinda way, so yeah, he's a big tease and likes to mess with me. steals my stuff, yaps a lot, gets in a way of me doing my chores. sometimes even scare me off, but not too harsh after one... unfortunate attempt.

- likes when I do something with their hair. play with it, style it, run my fingers through it, pull it. they cherish their hair, basically proud of them, and it feels nice when I interact with it somehow (in a pleasant way, of course, otherwise get tail whipped, Soph </3)

- ah, yes, nicknames. a fan of more flirty/silly ones, like "darling", "sweetie", "pookie", "babygirl", "hot stuff", all that. also some... variations of my name?? like "Sophie-Soph", if that makes sense (similar to how they called Rui "Rui-Rui").

- speaking of doll treatment again, Katze find themself not opposed to help me with hygiene - that includes bathing too. yes, bring able to look at me naked and touch me is one of the reasons, but i don't mind.

- is my guard basically - even when they don't follow me around they somehow sense when I'm in danger or simply in distress, nd quickly come to comfort me at least with being nearby.

A/N: OH MY GOD I STARTED THESE IN DECEMBER 9TH AND COULD ONLY BRING MYSELF TO FINISH THESE NOW---

[p4pert0wle]

I've done it,kinda

I fixed his design,perhaps

Idk it's a step up from my last attempt at him,the him in question being the fizz x ozzie child I had made

IT'S AT LEAST BETTER THAN WHAT I HAD BEFORE qwq

I'm not too sure about his outfit,I went for colors more bright to make him stand out idk man.

I changed alot of things,but not too much when it came to his body.His clothing being the biggest change,I changed his random assortment of feather colors to Fizz's hat colors and a red to match Ozzies red but made it more pinkish??

I used Ozzies other head feather color for the tips of his tail feathers,bc I wanted some kinda heart theme somewhers but I couldn't decide where.

I curved his horns back to kinda match Fizz's horns but not as big instead of the weird bull horns I was trying to give him before(No I'm not following the horn rule,I just wanted to make some fun looking horns)

And I put a lil bit of blue under his eyes bc I think it's fun :3

For the outfit,I knew I wanted to play into royal outfits but keep the poofy sleeves to represent fizz in someway(I just switched where the stripes are,with the leg stripes being on the arms and the arm ones on his pants)BUT I'M SORRY I JUST CAN'T

Like I legit cannot draw outfits or make a good outfit for the life of me the amount of struggle my brain just went through I just.Couldn't.

But I'm more proud of his design now than before,because..The stuff I was trying before I started this drawing

It's not as bad as I remember but AHG-

Idk weather or not I should keep his pupils or just don't,it'll take like actual months for me to find a design I'll fully like.He is still very much a work in progress,any oc I have is fr

Anyways just small art peices I did with him in it

I kept him orange,I was going to make him more red.But I just didn't,I wanted him to have traits from both of them but still look like his own character.

For personality I've just been descibing him to myself as 'He follows recipes to a tee but then he improvises and everything goes wrong from there' and not elaborating further.

Thank you brain

Ima say that he carries the same kinda energy Ozzie tends to,he just seems rather calm and responsible but then just has random bursts of chaotic energy.

Because while he is most likely the calmest one in the room,he's also likely to something dumb just for fun.

Idk when in the story he would come into existence,he's mostly going to be a WIP for awhile ngl

I leave now

[theoutsanityshoppe]

Hello! I have a fun story about how I found your blog! I have this OC that I really really love a lot, so I got myself a custom crochet doll of him off of etsy with some christmas money. And while i was searching for which artist to go with, i came across one who was using your little fire-headed detective guy as an example and i thought it was a really cute little design! i can't remember if i did end up going with that artist or a different one but his design really stuck out in my mind because i thought it was so neat. flash forward a bit and i see a commission advertising post from cubesona, who was using that same character as an example and i'm like "oh shit it's this guy again!". and because it was tax return season i got myself that cubesona commission of the same OC i'd gotten the doll of as a little treat for myself. and then we come to recently when i saw cubesona posting the drawing of my boy on his tumblr, and of course i went looking through the tags to see what people were saying about him. and i saw you had called him pretty and it made me really happy! so i go check the post and lo and behold i see the same little firey guy in your header! and i'm like "oh shit! it's all come full circle!!" so uh yeah neither of us knew it but i've kinda been following you for a little bit it seems alsdkjf

This is the single greatest story I could have heard this morning I FREAKING LOVE THIS.

I am suuuuuuuuuuper curious now if you went with the same etsy artist cuz I LOVE her stuff - I actually have two OC's by her and I plan on getting more later! That one, the crochet of Flint, was also the first doll I ever got of him! [I have four now hahahah I keep doing the same as you and every time I have a little extra saved money left over from things I use it to treat my self with more things of my boy] Otherwise that is just CRAZY that it went full circle like that!! I'm glad I have him in my header too since I post all my art to a secondary art blog ahhaha and yes!! your OC IS pretty!!! I loved his design and I absolutely want to know more about him! The one thing I wish cubesona did differently was put actual links/tags to us instead of just typing out our usernames cuz idk if that means the person is on tumblr, on twitter, on some other site... and I don't wanna search haha XD And also!! Thank you for the compliments on Flint~!!! It makes me very happy to hear he pops out to people when they see him adkfgjag I'm extremely proud of his design. ;v; I would be lying too if I said I wasn't saving screencaps of artist who use their art of my boy in their commission examples because it makes me INSANELY proud as an artist ksfdjgakjdfg

@kingkaibosh

[joannerowling]

Finished the book!

Man Jo really bamboozled me, i got played like a fiddle right until the end (the Daiyu identity???) !! That woman's brain is NOT normal (compliment). The only thing i got right was…

MAN EATING PIGS

I KNEW those pigs had eaten someone and what Kevin had written wasn't about the masks! Even though that was just a Checkov's Gun kinda deduction. Checkov's Pig? Anyways, i like how it was ultimately subverted - turns out it's not such a foolproof method of making a body disappear after all!

I also looove the idea that the murderer is once again the one Rowling haters would least have suspected because they think she's a hateful misandrist lmao. And how this forced Strike to face his judgemental tendencies (fatal flaw if i've ever seen one, except he's able to rear it in when it counts).

The 80-90 chapters were the most intense and terrifying stretch of reading i've had in a long while. Literally had to pause and reassure myself that Jo would never ACTUALLY put Robin through rape again because that's not the point, but it was a near thing. The reunion with Strike was hysterical, his little jokes had me in totally unwarranted stitches, i felt like i'd just narrowly escaped myself! Amazingly immersive writing. And of course Strike's reckoning when he visisted the UHC temple in London was so incredibly satisfying.

(Also, will never forget how Robin and Strike baptised the men following them unsubtly the clown show. Jo you have spent too much time online for real this time XD)

Can't wait for ssdc especially to finish aksjhjfsjk SHE HAD THE RIGHT SUSPECT AGAIN and she even guessed the Becca/Daiyu switcharoo, even if it turned out to not have happened (which i was so relieved about for a moment, i would have been horrified if it turned out the real Becca had been murdered and they'd been forcing Louise, Kevin and Emily to pretend they couldn't tell she wasn't really herself).

I wish we'd had more news on what happened to all the people in the farm. I hope Kyle is ok. Of all the recruits on the farm his part - however small - really shook me the most besides Lin, Emily and Louise.

And of course: the ending?????? Cormoran. Honey. This wasn't ideal timing. But i'm proud of you regardless. You earned your "most character growth" badge of honour for this one. The future is bright Saladman.