#i'm keeping the ones i have tho because young me did work so hard to find them

[kittyhazelnut]

my grandmother passed away in 2019 and my mom was going through her (my mom's not my grandmother's) room and found all the coins my grandmother collected before she passed and apparently she had quarter books for me and my brothers trying to collect all 50 state quarters for each of us and I also used to collect coins so I went through my coin collection and I put in the states I had that she didn't and I completed one collection, one is just missing Arizona, and the third is only missing six states :,)

[agoodfictitle-shadowban]

Sweet Summer | Pt. 2

Wanda Maximoff x f!Reader

Summary: The Xavier Institude is being renovated for the summer. With nowhere else to go, your best friends Billy and Tommy offer you to stay with them and their mom. But what happens when feelings start to spark between the two of you?

Word Count: 6.3k

Warnings: Underage Drinking, Smut (Minors do not interact), Age Gap (20yo reader, 37yo Wanda)

Tags: mutant!Reader (shadow manipulation), different timeline, everyone is alive (except Pietro, sorry Pietro), no Sokovia Accords, no Thanos, Wanda was young when she joined the Avengers, retired Natasha, top!Reader, bottom!Wanda, but they switch a bit, Vision is a bit of an asshole, divorced!Wanda, mainly cutesy, bit of angst tho

A/n: i'm bad at smut but i hope you still enjoy it

"What was I thinking?" Wanda bemoaned, face in her hands. She was sitting in the living room of her best friend Natasha, complaining to her a few days later. The retired redhead was listening with a neutral expression, drinking her morning coffee. "She's Billy and Tommy's best friend! She's twenty!"

Natasha sipped on her coffee some more. "Truly I wonder," she deadpanned.

"You're not helping!" Wanda was at the edge of a breakdown after what happened, and disappeared to work the past few days in order to avoid you. But no matter what she did, her thoughts brought her back to you, to your smile, your voice, your kind words. She wanted to know more about you, in every way, her body mesmerized by your presence and her mind enthralled by your words.

"I know, but I doubt there is much I could do to help," she said patiently. She put down her cup of coffee and rested her hands on the tabletop flatly. "From what you tell me, you really like her. Which isn't a crime as far as I'm concerned."

"But what about–"

"Doesn't really matter, does it? You deserve happiness, and your boys would agree. So what if it's with Y/n?"

"It would feel wrong." She finally dared to look in her friend's eyes. There was no judgment there, but it was still hard to do.

"Or really right, considering how attracted to her you are. Do you want my honest opinion?"

"Go ahead," she said with suspicion in her eyes.

"I think you're afraid because you were her age when you started dating Vision, so you think it's gonna end the same way. With her thinking it was all a mistake, and you sad and lonely. Well, more than you are today."

"Geez, thanks Natasha," she said with as much sarcasm she could manage.

"Let me finish," she ordered and Wanda reluctantly complied. "Your fear is understandable, but also stupid. She's not you, and you're not Vision. And if you have a shot at happiness, you should take it."

Wanda didn't know what to say at this point. Luckily, Maria entered the apartment after her morning run. She kissed Natasha and the conversation changed direction as Wanda wanted to keep her relation to you a secret for now. But the words from her best friend kept coming back to her throughout the day.

*

The night of the party finally arrived, and with it the pressure to find a proper attire. You had figured out what you wanted to wear, but you also wanted a jacket to go with it. Sadly you were rather limited, and you had to go take a shower before one of the twins stole the washroom from you to finish prepping. When you came back out, clothes already on, there was a bag on your bed with a piece of paper. It read "Thank you for the discussion the other night". Inside the bag was the leather jacket from the store you went to the other day. You were speechless, mouth hanging open. Wanda had been avoiding you the past few days so you absolutely didn't expect anything from her, trying to move on from whatever feelings you had, but this… How she knew about it, you had no idea, but you weren't complaining.

You immediately tried it on, looking at yourself in the mirror. It fit perfectly. You turned around to peek at the back and jumped like a scared cat when you saw Wanda standing in the doorway, almost toppling over the mirror. She helped keep you standing with her powers and slowly released you.

"I didn't mean to scare you. Are you alright?" She asked with concern in her voice. She looked incredible at this instant, as she always did, with her doe eyes focused on you. She was wearing dark gray sweatpants, and a signature red hoodie with her hair in a low, kind of messy, ponytail.

"Yeah, I think so." You looked yourself over and then up at her. "Thank you. For catching me. And for the jacket."

"I saw the way you looked at it in the store," she said with a small, conniving smile. Then she looked away, playing with the hem of her sleeves and biting her lower lip as if looking for some courage. "Could we maybe talk?"

"I…" Should you? Probably not, but at the same time, your heart wanted nothing more than to talk to her. You pinched your lips. No. No matter how good she looked, and how mesmerizing her shyness was, it was a bad idea. But you had to let her down gently. "Maybe we–"

"Y/n! Are you ready?" A very excited Tommy appeared behind his mom in a blur, and you let out a sigh. The young man had been like that the whole day, starting in the late morning. "Billy is waiting on us."

Wanda hid her disappointment, but not enough for you to miss it. You quickly redirected your attention to your friend and grabbed whatever was needed. "I'm ready."

At least it would give you some time to think of something to tell Wanda. You followed Tommy who gave a hug to the witch and left to get to the car. Before you disappeared through the door, you couldn't help but get one more look at her.

The party was what you'd expect it would be. There was a ton of alcohol, some games going on, loud music, and half the people were enjoying the pool or talking in groups. The first thing you did with the twins was grab some drinks - alcohol for you and Tommy, soft for Billy who was driving you back - and join a group. Within the group there were some people you knew and some you didn't but it quickly dissolved into smaller groups. You ended up talking with a newly met Kate Bishop and Yelena Belova, who were both living in New York and came here to visit family. Kate was actually going to join Columbia this year just like you - except she was a few years ahead of you. You got along really well as you exchanged more. You ended up talking about what majors and minors you were going to attend, before Yelena let out a "Boriiiiing" and you changed the subject to something else. It quickly devolved into a knife throwing contest between the three of you that Yelena won.

Everything was going swimmingly - you played Kate in a beer pong game that you lost, enjoyed some time in the pool with her and some other people. But despite the fun, you couldn't help but think of Wanda. You would see her in a smile, or in the green of a leaf, in the inflection of a word, the smell of someone, the warmth from the alcohol, the curve of a waist, and so many more places. It was a curse, one you rried to forget with alcohol.

As for the twins, Tommy at this point was nowhere to be found, which meant he probably was with a girl, and Billy was playing video games with some people who were more relaxed now that it was starting to be late. 

As you were drying on the side of the pool, head buzzing nicely with intoxication, you eavesdropped on a nearby conversation.

"Now, see, Enhanced Individuals totally need to be controlled in some way. By the governments or something," a girl said, and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at that.

"What are you on about?" Someone asked. "They might be freaks but they're no more dangerous than someone with a rifle."

"No, no, no! Like, think about it, they're the only ones who can become super-villains, so if we can track them or something, they can't be dangerous anymore."

Holding your drink in one hand, you stood up and splashed it in the face of the girl and his friend. She screamed bloody murder, and he just looked flabbergasted.

"Assholes," you spat.

"What is wrong with you?!" The guy finally asked while everyone was watching before finally going back to partying. You put back your clothes on; you didn't feel like partying anymore. 

"Are you okay?" Kate asked as you stumbled because of the alcohol. "Hey, easy there. Let me help you."

"I want to go home," you mumbled with darkened eyes.

"Okay, let's find your friends." You shook your head at that and took a few steps forward.

"No, they're having fun. I can like… walk home or something."

"Walk ho– okay, no, you're definitely too drunk for that. I'll drive you, let me just get my stuff while you let your friends know."

You didn't really have time to protest. Looking around, you decided to simply do what she told you and you went to find Billy, knowing Tommy was likely busy. Your knees hit the couch where he was sitting and you got his attention.

"Hey man, I'm going home. Kate is driving me."

"Are you okay?" He frowned with concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll just see you tomorrow." You gave him a pat on the shoulder and he agreed to let you go. You went back to Kate who had put on a light jacket. You put your own on quickly, before you followed Kate to her car.

During the time it took to arrive back at the house, the silence in the car had stretched out. You were still drunk and yet you still felt uncomfortable. At least there was some music to help with the lack of conversation and how fidgety Kate was. Finally, when you arrived, she pulled in front of the pathway leading up to the house.

"You have my number, if you need anything…" she started.

"I'll text you," you finished. You offered her a smile and just as you were about to leave the car, she leaned in and kissed you briefly. Usually, you would have jumped on the occasion. Kate was a beautiful and clever woman. But this wasn't usually. So you didn't return it, didn't even react to it really, just looked blankly at her, and it seemed to be enough to get a message across.

"Oh, wow. I'm sorry, I thought, I don't know–"

"Don't. Let's just forget about it," you told her mercifully, finally exiting the car.

You were quick to make your way back to the door, stumbling a little on the way, and when you finally pushed it, you were confronted with a waiting Wanda. She was still wearing the same clothes as earlier, but this time her jaw was locked, her brow knitted on her forehead, and she had her arms crossed. The apparent hostility confused you and you slowly closed the door behind you, the faint sound of Kate's departing car the only noise in the house. You could hear a pin drop when that was gone.

"You had fun I see," she attacked first, leaving you eager to defend yourself, the alcohol leaving you susceptible to your emotions

"Yes, clearly, that's why I'm back early," you said sarcastically. There was something different about her right now, in the way she acted, the way she looked at you. She retreated her head in her shoulders, as if she was getting ready to be hit with something.

"Well, why are you here early?" Her eyes were sharp, but yours were just as much despite the alcohol in your veins. What happened for her to act like that suddenly? Then it hit you. You quickly regretted your returned aggressivity when it dawned on you. She was hurt. Her bravado was just a way to hide it. You had to find a way to diffuse the situation, but your idle mind had trouble processing everything.

"There was a bunch of assholes and just… listen, it doesn't really matter." She soften slightly at that, but she was still in her defensive position. You took a step towards her and she took a step back.

"It matters to me. What you do, how you feel, who you kiss… It all matters to me," she confessed, suddenly avoiding your gaze. "So if you've just been playing around, I need to know." And that's when you put the puzzle together. She must have seen Kate kiss you. Must have come to the window when she heard the car and seen everything without any context or clues about how you felt. You ran your hand through your hair.

"Wanda, I…" You took the time to look at her. Truly look at her. She was so vulnerable right now, you felt like you had her in the palm of your hand. You knew you technically had no reason to justify yourself, but your gut were turning at the idea of leaving her in this state.

"You don't need to say anything, you made it pretty clear how you felt," she marched on, still looking away, as you didn't know what to say. Your heart revolted at the idea that she could even think you didn't like her. You took a step forward. "You must be weirded out." Another step. Your mind was reeling, reminding you why this was such a bad idea, but you could barely hear it over the sounds of the blood hammering away in your ears. "I'd understand if–"

You reached for her face with both hands and kissed her. It was a short lived rush, but it felt so right. It completely derailed Wanda's train of thought, even now that the kiss was over, and for a second she tried to reattach the wagons.

"If… I'd understand…" She tilted her head to the side and tried to read you without going into your thoughts, her brows furrowing. "What am I understanding?"

You chuckled, and she joined, both of you leaning forward to join your foreheads. Slowly, your thumb rubbed her rosy cheek.

"You're understanding that I like you, a lot."

Wanda bit her lip, hesitation on her face. She was clearly still thinking about what happened in the car. And if she needed to ask about it, you certainly knew how to appease her fears.

"What about the girl in the car?" She finally bit the bullet and asked, her hands finding your shoulders to play with your jacket nervously.

"It was all her, I never wanted that kiss. But I sure want this one," and you kissed her lips once again, briefly, "and this one," and one more. You took your time for this one, tasting her cherry lips against yours. It already felt amazing, but feeling her reciprocate the kiss made it heavenly. Tentatively, you bit her lower lip and pressed the tip of your tongue against it in a clear message to ask for more. She opened the way and you slipped your tongue against hers, starting to play alongside her as the warmth of the kiss traveled down your body to your core. Slowly, the kiss got more heated, your breath unraveling and your heart beating faster and faster. At this point you were certain she was able to feel it against her palms. You pushed her against the wall and moved one hand to her waist to bring her closer to you, your pinky playing with the hem of her hoodie. The heat was unraveling you and you wanted nothing more than to follow it but gently Wanda interrupted the kiss. Her pupils were wide open and traced the contours of your face and of your lips before they finally focused on your eyes.

"Wait, wait. We're in the middle of the hallway, we can't just do that here." Well, you could, but it certainly would be risky. You smirked.

"Averse to a little adventure?" You teased her. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, leaving the embrace of yours. You noticed how red she was right before she turned her back on you. When she finally looked at you again only her cheeks remained pink.

"Averse to having my sons walk in on me with their best friend." You pursed your lips. Of course she had a point, and you nodded. You closed the small distance between you too and took her hands in yours.

"Okay. Why don't we take this somewhere more private then?" You offered her a grin, then moved your eyebrows up and down. It managed to make her laugh, but she shook her head.

"As tempting as it is, it's too risky right now."

As if to prove her right, you heard a car pulling in the driveway. You pouted, but still agreed with her. You already broke your own words by kissing Wanda, there was no need for Tommy and Billy to find out about it.

"Alright but we're gonna have to make it up at some point," you negotiated and she gave you a shy smile. You vaguely wondered when was the last time Wanda actually got to be intimate and if that was part of why she interrupted the upcoming activity.

She took a step back when the twins came through the door and you looked at them. You immediately noticed Tommy's bruised hand and you frowned.

"What did you do?" You asked, taking a closer look at it while Wanda's eyes opened big and she took his hand in her to examine it.

"Might have punched some assholes," he admitted with a proud grin. "When I came back downstairs I heard what happened and why you left, and that guy was mouthing off about you, so I gave him a lesson."

"You didn't have to…" you started, pinching the bridge of your nose.

Wanda brought him to the kitchen where she kept a first aid kit, everyone trailing behind. She grabbed the instant cold pack and twisted it so it would start cooling, then she applied it on his fist after putting it in a towel.

"Thanks mom," he said, still smiling. She frowned and assumed her mom posture, putting her hands on her hips.

"Don't thank me, you're still grounded for a week."

Tommy cringed at that, but he didn't protest, moving to a dining room chair to sit down.

"Alright, now that this is resolved, I'm going to bed," Billy yawned.

"You're abandoning me like that?" A very dramatic Tommy asked.

"Yeah, cause I told you not to fight this guy, and I'm tired. Plus you have mom and Y/n taking care of you, you'll be fine."

Billy left, and you sat next to Tommy. He was lucky nothing was broken, and even luckier he only got grounded by his mom. You bumped shoulders with him.

"Next time, remember I can defend myself," you told him.

"Is that how people say thank you now?" He rolled his eyes and you laughed lightly. You knew you shouldn't encourage him, but he did deserve it.

"Thank you."

He beamed at you, just as Wanda was walking back in. She hugged her son sideways and kissed the top of his head.

"Time for you to go to bed," she ordered and without much complaints the young man gave a kiss on the cheek of his mother and went upstairs. The witch sat down where her son had been moments ago and leaned against you, resting her head on your shoulder. You mimicked her and rested your head on top of hers, your hand finding hers to take.

"What a day," you expressed with a sigh.

"What a day," she returned to you. "But mostly a good one, I hope?"

You grinned and leaned down to give her a kiss. "A great one." You kissed her some more, lingering on the taste of her lips, on your breath mingling together, and on her body pressed against yours.

"We should also get some sleep," she ended up murmuring to you after a few minutes. For the first time since you arrived home, you finally felt the weight of the day on you.

"But what if I want to enjoy your company longer?"

She rolled her eyes but her sweet smile contradicted the faux exasperation. It made you laugh silently.

"I'll still be there tomorrow. Now come on, off to bed we go."

With that, she stood up and helped you do the same, an occasion you took to steal another few kisses before she came back to her senses and led you up the stairs. You exchanged some more kisses in front of her bedroom as discreetly as possible before you finally said your goodbyes for the night.

*

The next two weeks were more of the same. With Tommy and Billy always around, you barely had any time alone with Wanda. You would sneak around at night, enjoying the balcony or one or the other's bedroom to make out. It felt like you were back at the Institute where you had to be discreet with your various girlfriends to not get caught by the teachers, which felt weird to do behind the backs of the twins who had often helped you at the time - the same way you would help them sneak around. The situation was rather complicated because of that, but you made do, and if it meant being able to be with Wanda, you would take it. Even if you knew the situation was unsustainable in the long term. For now you were enjoying reading on the lounge chair for your upcoming university year. Billy was doing the same thing next to you, and Tommy was swimming in the pool so fast that you were surprised he didn't hit his head on something. More surprising, you could hear Wanda singing from the kitchen - she was cooking and refused any help despite you trying to offer it.

"Mom seems really happy lately," Billy commented offhandedly, getting his brother's attention in the process.

"Yeah," he breathed loudly as he stopped swimming, "it's kind of creepy."

Billy snorted at that and you shook your head in amusement. He put his book back and took his phone which was vibrating in his hand.

"I don't know, I like her being happy. Dad is calling, give me a second."

"Okay momma's boy. Tell him I say hi." Tommy disappeared back in the water, and you put your nose back into your book, trying not to spy on the conversation.

Quickly, Billy disappeared inside. You frowned a bit and wondered what was happening. An answer came five minutes later when he came back and sat down on the edge of the lounge chair to look at you guiltily.

"I'm sorry Y/n, my dad won't be able to take you with us. Apparently he wants us to meet his new girlfriend's kids and there won't be enough space."

"Oh," you blinked a few times, unsure of what to say right now.

"Mom says you'll talk together about what you want to do for that month." He put his hand on your shoulder. You processed the information. What were you supposed to do? All that you knew was that there was no more singing coming from the kitchen.

Later that evening, after you had all enjoyed a delicious fresh dish prepared by Wanda, you found her on the balcony. You approached her from behind and put your hands on the railing on each side of her. Delicatly, you kissed her shoulder, then her cheek, and she leaned right against you. You embraced her and swayed a few times before you settled.

"I hate when Vision springs things like this on me." Her hands settled on your arms. "It's only two days until his turn with Tommy and Billy and he couldn't bother informing me before? What if I had something already organized, a trip, or a mission? Then I would have been in a conundrum."

"I don't have to stay here you know?" You wouldn't be happy about it but you could. She turned around, a frown on her face.

"That's not what I meant, detka. I'm annoyed at his selfishness, but also… I'm happy at the idea of the both of us having alone time."

She kissed you briefly and you couldn't help a smile. You felt better upon hearing her saying she wanted you there.

"So, does that mean I'm staying?" You still asked to make sure.

"If you want to," she confirmed with a smile of her own. You caressed her cheek and placed some hair on the side of her face. The setting sun was hitting her and illuminating her features, creating a halo around her with the way her hair caught the rays on its strands, and a fire in your heart from the green of her eyes so lovingly looking at you.

"I want to," you answered with no doubt.

She jumped at you, her arms around your neck, and you spinned together before you put her down with a laugh. The upcoming month promised to be interesting.

*

"Are you sure you don't want us to stay?" Tommy asked with his sunglasses on his head. He had told you multiple times already that he was ready to protest his dad's decision by staying with you for the month to come, and you knew Billy would follow along with that decision. "We don't want to leave you alone."

"Yes, just enjoy your time with your dad. I'll be okay here. And I'm not alone, Wanda is here." You knew they wouldn't understand why you were unbothered by being with Wanda alone, and you somehow felt bad about it too. Keeping a secret from your best friends was hard but you knew it was better that way for now.

"Okay, but if you change your mind, we can always come back."

"Thank you, I appreciate it. Now go, your dad is waiting."

Tommy nodded and his sunglasses fell on his nose. He adjusted them, and with a side hug from him and Billy, you said your goodbyes, Wanda getting hugs from the both of them too. It was only for a month, but you knew you were going to miss them. Though for now, you had other things in mind.

"What do you want to do now?" You asked with a smirk once Vision's car was gone. Wanda put her hands on your shoulders, amused, and pushed you into the living room.

"Well, now I can do whatever I want," she seductively suggested as she kissed your jawline, going up to your ear. A shiver ran down your spine when you felt her breath. "So why don't we… take a trip?"

You tilted your head in order to be able to look at her. She smirked at first, then tried to look innocent.

"A trip where?" You asked, your curiosity piqued, but also aware that you had no money to go anywhere, and no passport. "Cause it'll have to be to the gas station."

"I was thinking more… Paris?" She suggested as she bit her lip. The idea of going on a trip with her was incredibly tempting. Waking up together, visiting museums, going to restaurants, walking at night around the city. It would be a dream come true. But once again… "I'd pay for everything."

Oh. That would… wait, no, still no passport. And you couldn't in good conscience let her pay for everything.

"I can't let you do that."

"Of course you can. You'll just have to invite me on a trip when you're accomplished with your own money." She shrugs like it was nothing, not talking about the fact you wouldn't be able to pay for anything for a few years at least. So you looked for another excuse, which presented itself.

"I don't have a passport," you said with disappointment.

"Don't worry about it, I can get one for you by tomorrow." She smiled tenderly and put her hand on your cheek while you thought about it. You kissed her palm and nodded in the end.

"Okay, let's do this."

Looked like you were going to Paris.

*

The same day at night, while you were watching a movie cuddled up together, you heard a knock on the door. Wanda had told you that your passport would be ready by tomorrow, but you didn't expect someone to actually show up at your door the very same night. You put your arm away from her shoulders so she could stand up, and you followed her curiously to the door. You expected a random agent or someone like that to bring it to you, but when she opened the door your eyebrows went up on your forehead.

"Nat!" Wanda exclaimed, visibly as surprised as you were. The redhead showed the passport to the both of you by holding it up in her hand. "I didn't expect you to bring it in person."

"What can I say, I wanted to meet your new girlfriend."

The both of you immediately blushed; you never really talked about relationship status, so having it qualified like that was new territory for you. You and Wanda exchanged a look and Natasha immediately caught on to it. She raised a very amused eyebrow and took a step inside the house. She held out the passport to you and you took it out of reflex.

"So you're Y/n, hm? You're less impressive than I imagined. Maybe we should train together someday."

"Please don't," Wanda said as she started to push Natasha out of the house. When she was out and the door was closed, you finally blinked yourself back to life.

"Thank you for the passport," you muttered to yourself before you turned to Wanda, confusion on your features. "What was that?"

The witch pinched her lips. "That was my best friend, who has been very bored since she retired."

There was a beat of silence while you processed all that just happened. In the end, there was only one thing that really mattered to you after all that. You grabbed Wanda's hand and brought it to your lips, looking at her above it.

"Sooo, are we girlfriends?" You asked with a small smirk but a blush on your cheeks nonetheless.

"Yes. Yes we are," she confirmed with a smile and a blush of her own. You kissed her hand and took her in your arms to kiss her lips this time.

"Sounds perfect." She kissed you again and you took the time to enjoy it. 

You went back to the movie, and then you prepared yourself for bed. You went for a short and some t-shirt before you stopped in front of the open door to Wanda's room to say goodnight. You had never taken the time to really look inside out of respect for her, but you couldn't help yourself this time. There were some crystals and books on the shelves, a guitar on the wall, a few masquerade masks above the bed, and pictures of her family here and there. She was in front of a massive but low bed with dark purple bed sheets, wearing something similar to you, with her hair flowing around her pretty face.

"I came to say good night," you said, getting her attention. She turned around and your heart skipped a beat seeing her like that. You wanted to stay with her longer, but you had a big day tomorrow of preparing and going to the airport, and you never shared a room so far. You didn't want to overstep.

"You can come in," she offered and you took it, walking one step forward inside the room. It smelled like her and you immediately felt like she was all around you, relaxing your shoulders when her eyes fell on yours. A small, timid smile graced her lips when she approached you, grabbed your shirt and gave you a chaste kiss. "Stay for the night?"

The offer took you by surprise. You never slept in the same bed before, mainly because it was too dangerous with the boys under the same roof, but also in respect to her boundaries. You also didn't want to look desperate by asking.

You nodded, mouth agape at her proposition.

"Gladly," you finally answered and she clinged onto you. You quickly let your arms fall into place around her. After what felt like an ideal forever, you both went under the covers of the bed, staying far apart at first until you decided to take her hand and bring her closer to you.

"It's been a long time since I had anyone in my bed," she confided in you. You hummed, letting her go where she needed with her train of thought. "I… I've never been with a woman. I've always known I was bi, but I never had the opportunity. I hope you're not disappointed."

"Why would I be disappointed?" You asked in confusion, and she shrugged, not daring to look you in the eyes. You gently grabbed her chin and had her look at you. "For me, you're perfect, Wanda."

The emotions in her eyes were giving them a glint, and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. You rubbed the tears away with an understanding smile, and kissed her forehead before she kissed your lips hungrily. She straddled you with no warning, igniting something in you, making you grab her hips to stabilize her against you long enough to reverse your positions. Without any thoughts, you grind your hips against her core and a moan escaped her. It immediately made you realize what you were doing and you broke the ongoing kiss.

"I'm sorry, I–"

"No, it's okay," she told you, one hand finding purchase behind your neck. "Don't stop now."

Your mouth dried, your heart rate went straight to heaven, and a fire spread inside of you like wildfire. And so you did what you were told.

Your kiss got deep and fierce, leaving your lips bruised, and you pushed against her again, feeling how warm the inside of her legs was. She moaned in your mouth, and that made you smile. You took the opportunity to kiss her jawline and her neck, feeling her pulse against your lips before you traced a line with your tongue. It made her all breathy, even more so when your teeth scraped her skin and finally settled on her pulse point where you started to mark her.

Meanwhile one of your hands moved to her stomach under her shirt, tracing up her abdomen and tracing down, going around her navel, before going up again. Then you pushed her up towards you to start taking off her shirt, an effort that didn't go ignored when she helped you take it off. Once done, you took the time to admire her; her shoulders were slender, giving way to her collarbones, then her round breast with their perky, pink nipples, and her abdomen which bore the marks of motherhood.

"Yours now," she breathed heavily, pushing you upright to take off your shirt. He hand steadied when she started to reveal your body and with it the scars of your mistreatment. They were faded and hardly visible if you didn't know what to look for from afar, so it was the first time she noticed them. With your shirt out of the way, you wanted to get back to worshiping her body, but you waited for her as she traced the lighter scars on your skin. It gave you goosebumps. But slowly you took her hand, and gave her a reassuring smile.

"It's nothing," you whispered before kissing her hungrily. The passion quickly returned and it was like there had been no interruption.

You kissed her collarbone, and quickly found your way to her right breast. Her nipple was just waiting for you, all hard and tender, and you took it in your mouth to play with it. Her moans encouraged you to slip your hand on top of her crotch. Even through her pajama shorts you were able to feel how wet she was. You massaged her through the fabric, making her back arch in search for more friction. You were quick to give it to her after your hand went under her shorts, touching her hairs and flesh, cupping her to give her more purchase against your hand. While doing this, you dipped two fingers between her folds to coat them in her wetness, playing with her entrance at the same time. You moved your thumb over her clit and formed small circles over the bundle of nerves. The answer was immediate, her hands dug into your hair and gripped them strongly. She brought you back up for a hungry kiss and you happily kissed back. Her hands moved from your hair to your back, just as you pressed two fingers inside her, and the pain of her fingernails digging into your skin was the best reward you could wish for.

"God, you're so wet," you said against her lips, not moving inside of her.

"Pl-please…" she pleaded. You hummed, a small smirk on your lips to see her all pretty like that, begging for you, her cheeks red from the pleasure. "More… please."

You gave her a kiss and started moving your fingers inside of her. Her moans were a litany, a song you could listen to for hours on end. You went faster, but still took your time, slowing down from time to time to have her plead for more only to pick up the pace again and add a finger. She finally came, gushing on your hand and you slowed down for good.

"That… that felt good," she said, still breathing hard, and there was a spark in your eyes.

"Felt? Who said it was over?"

And before she had the chance to say anything, your face was between her legs and she was moaning again.

You pleasured her multiple times, until she tapped out for good on her fifth orgasm. Your face was damp with her fluids and your fingers had wrinkled, but it felt good to pleasure her so much. Despite how tired she was after all that, she insisted on taking care of you too. She explored your body with the same reverence you did hers, and you guided her to your own orgasm.

Bone tired, you took a quick shower together before going back to bed naked and falling asleep in each other's arms.

[jaiistg]

Karma Akabane who is whipped for reader

"I guess I'm stuck forever by the glue, oh, and you"

•You and Karma met because of his and your's parents !! They knew that you two would get along so well,infact you two did get along...Maybe a little too well,to the fact he got attached to you.

•His parents shipped you both together when Young karma asked them why does his hard beats super fast whenever he sees you and wanting to always be by your side.HIS MOM WAS ALL LIKE "MY BABY BOY IS GROWING UP !!!"

•You and Karma are classmates on class 3-A, that was until this fucker got suspended and was now in class 3-E🙄 he would help you with subjects your struggling with.

•After his suspension he couldn't stop thinking about you like "how is she doing?" "Does she miss me?" One day he saw you hanging out with his one and only rival Asano Gakushuu.He didn't blame you since him and Assano🙄 were your only friends.

•He thought he was being slick with hiding his feelings for you that was until he got exposed by koro sensei because HE KEEPS DODDLING YOU ON HIS NOTEBOOK,he was so fluttered he can't even look at koro-sensei in the eye...tsk tsk hope you learn your lesson next time Karma~

•Ever since his classmates found out that he likes you THEY KEEP TEASING HIM AND HE CAN'T HELP BUT BLUSH😭.

•Everytime he sees you the world stops.Its as if you two are the only people in this world.This dude wants to approach you and ask how your doing but is too afraid because he hasn't spoken to you for a long time.

•Eventually,you guys talked and it felt like nothing has changed,He dosent know what he was so afraid of...

•He sometimes gets lonely on his house because his parents are always at work so he calls you and ask's if you can come over,and ofc you said yes.

•His house,the place where you guys first met and also the place where you guys became official<33.

•It turns out you guys are smitten for eachother but can't seem to confess to one another.How did they found out about each other's feelings? Truth or dare.Yeah you heared me right Truth or dare.

(name-chan) truth or dare he asked?

(name) can see his smirk.what is he up to now..? As she face palmed."Truth"

Have you ever liked someone in our school? Karma asked curiously secretly hoping she'd say yes and say it is him

(name) was caught of-guard.Since when did he care about things like this? She thought.

Fine,Yes I had a crush on someone.I still have a crush on them tho...She mumbled the last part but Karma can hear it.

Its your turn now strawberry! Truth or dare (name) said excitingly

He can't help but find her cute."Dare,im not a coward like you!" He said jokingly

Hey!! (Name) said clearly offended."If you have a crush on someone can you text them and confess?"

"What."

"Pleaseeeeeeeeee"

Ofc he couldn't say no to her.So he did it.

Wait someone texted me (name) said

She was shocked.She looked up from the screen and saw karma smiling at her with a tint of blush on his cheeks.

"Is this....True?"

"Duhh,why would I lie to you about what I feel?" he said chuckling but also serious about what he said

I..."

"you?

"I like you too."

"HUH ARE YOU FOR REA-"

•Has he died and went to heaven?? Are you sure you'll go to heaven? Lmaooalakka THE (NAME) LIKES HIM BACK??? SOMEONE SAVE THIS MAN FROM PASSING OUT.

•And yeah! That's what happened, after you two became official you guys told both of his and your's parents !! They were happy that you two got together.

[angermango]

"I'm not cooking or anything, this is just a silly idea- (looks down at canvas) ffffuuuu--"

...

so, first I only wanted to draw Professor Layton with a Reiterpallasch from Bloodborne because haha funny hat man with gun-sword, but then i ended up drafting concept art for "Laytonborne", apparently.

"Puzzles all over the shop... You'll be stuck on one of them, sooner or later."

extra artist commentary:

Layton

yes, this really did just start with me wanting to give Layton a Reiterpallasch because he's a canonical fencer and Bloodborne trick weapons absolutely slap. The Reiterpallasch is literally a rapier with a pistol attached that can mechanically switch to prime either the blade first or the gun first so you can stab and shoot someone at the same time.

Giving Hershel the Bloodborne makeover was kind of funny because he wears such a simple look in canon it was hard striking the right balance between his recognisable look and BB aestheic since Bloodborne loves embellishment especially via lots of belts/buckles and those weird shoulder-cape things. I tried to keep it simple enough though because as much as i think he could pull off a hunter ensemble i don't want to have to keep track of all the funky bits. the Top Hat Stays, of course.

Aurora

Aurora is eerily good a fit in a Soulsborne-esque setting considering she fits the criteria for a "Soulsborne maiden" classic archetype sort of character: After all she's a mysterious pale-haired young woman with mystical origins/powers and a foreign-sounding accent and may or may not have some connection to the wider lore and powers that be of the setting. hell even her whole thing being a golem works in a way as even Bloodborne has artificial humans existing as a concept.

i got a little lazy with changing up her dress for both time and lack of inspiration. I thought maybe i'd really do her up but then I chickened out that her costume wouldn't be recognisable any more so just slapped a belt and some patterns on the shawl bit and called it a night :P (if i'd been braver/more motivated she'd probably look good in an approximation of the White Church set, something like that)

and yeah so as the sketches off to the side are like, no real clue how/why it might be triggered but imagine her having the potential to be an optional boss or something (and she'd whoop your ass)

Flora

idk tho Flora also seems like she could be a good contender for the "Soulsborne maiden" position too in a way, or even if not her whole character and story fits into the world quite well. especially with Bloodborne having the Plain Doll who is a sentient doll made in the image of someone her creator loved/was obsessed with and Flora living in a village of human-like robots which started after her father tried to build a replacement for her dead mother.

Her dress is a combination of all her canon costumes across the games. The fur-trim shoulder cape is from one official art of her, the short shawl and white sleeves and bit around her waist is based on her first dress, and the rest of the dress design is based on her second and third game appearance.

The 'Doll Flora' concept there at the end is just some idea of a false/clone Flora running around as well. She's got some little differences including elements of other parts of Flora's designs over the years that aren't on OG Flora, such as the sash and shoes.

Anton

Anton fits in scarily well to the Bloodborne-y setting, perhaps not too surprisingly given the whole 'vampire' thingy. I sort of envision Folsense and Herzen Castle being a bit like the Castle Cainhurst area of Bloodborne which leans more into the classic gothic horror of a remote and looming haunted castle occupied by a sinister enigmatic character.

And yes, that is a reference to the infamous "LAYTOOON" scream from his canon 'boss fight' in the second game - imagine the whole steaming up and screaming thing being like his boss phase transition animation.

The whole 'withers to an old man/husk' concept seems so very Soulsborne-y it really just fits yknow. like if you defeat him he shrivels up/ages to dust or whatever. RIP gassed-up grandpa.

I partly rizzed up his suit using inspiration of the Cainhurst Knight set because like. come on. it's too good to pass up the chance to pretty up with and looks a lot like his canon suit in parts.

Did I trace the foyer background art for Herzen Castle for the mockup just for laffs, only to realise partway that 1) Layton and Anton actually fought in the ballroom, and 2) the ballroom would actually make a much better boss arena setting because it's wide open and the arch from the front room leading into the ballroom could totally be the 'boss fog door' part better than the front room?

...so yeah I then drew the ballroom background without tracing this time like a true madman and had a hell of a time with perspective but the plus side is we also get the sword collection from the game there as a cameo because in Laytonborne the good professor brought his own already.

The Masked Gentleman / Randall

Had a bit of a time deciding how to Bloodborne-ify this guy because his suit in canon is actually really. really boring. it's just a white suit like cmon. so to give it that Bloodborne makeover I fell back on the classic shoulder-cape thing that almost all Bloodborne characters have, added some patterns and accessories based on the Mask of Chaos' patterns and the Decorative Old Hunter's set from the Old Hunters DLC (in the leg brace, forearm guard and the hints of gold chains around the upper arms).

He also gets a Threaded Cane, another trick weapon of Bloodborne fame which is as it suggests: A cane weapon that works a bit like a baton/sword combo but in its alternate form it's a whip covered in serrated metal blades which form the cane itself when locked together.

It seems very appropriate for Randall to be like a boss who starts out as the Masked Gentleman and then at half-or-less health you break his mask, reveal Randall and then wings burst out of his back as he enters his second phase rage mode. This concept part felt more DSouls-y than Bloodborne-y to me i think since Bloodborne is less fantastical and leans more into the body horror/monstrous kind of boss transitions? But at the same time it was too good an opportunity to pass on at least sketching out, plus get you some sick fallen angel imagery out of it.

Also the hanging arm pose miiight be a bit inspired by Artorias of the Abyss. just a bit.

Descole

i recall seeing a post somewhere once with this very low-res rare art of Descole sitting in a throne from somewhere i have no idea what it was for. and I remember it kinda reminded me of Lady Maria's promotional art for the Old Hunters DLC so that's why the last picture of Descole exists.

mf already dresses so extra i legit could think of nothing to add to make him more Bloodborne-y unlike the others. I also used his canon sword's design from the games with a custom sheath because again couldn't really think of anything more to do to make him fit more when he's already got a cool signature weapon to show off.

[kalivasquezart]

Just wanted to say that I absolutely love your au about the Pioneer. Its so well thought out and just overall amazing and oh boy dont even get me started on your art— absolutely beautiful💖💕

I also am working on an au based off of Artis pups and when I found you I was like 🫢🫵 Very similar ideas 👀👀👀Also Hunter as Pioneer’s mentor is SUCH A COOL CONCEPT— Like like cause Hunters my favorite scug and the fact that you included him in your au and as Marbles�� mentor is just *squeals* but it also makes a lot of sense considering he comes a little bit after Arti and is one of the few scugs who can encounter pups in their campaign. I also wanted to ask if its okay with you if I use that idea/concept in my own au 👉👈

I was also thinking about Pioneer’s brother— Ik you said that you hc him as being dead, like officially, but I thought it would be interesting if he was still alive. I personally was inspired to let him live in my au simply because of some official art of Gorum (specifically his endings art especially the food quest one where he has a suspiciously familiar green slugpup). I was thinking something like what happened to Surv and Monk (the one-way pipe considering the fact that he kind of began to drift to the right as he sank) happened to him and Gorum found him. Idk these are just ideas Im using for my own au but thought I would share.

I just realized this is super long sorry HANDNAND I am insane and write too much

ahhhh thank you for the kind words skek YOU FLATTER ME~

[there are rain world spoilers regarding artificer's capaign below, be warned]

while my current headcanon is that the green pup died, i've been thinking very hard about it for the last week or so, and IMO there's a high chance i will retcon that. if the pipe thing is canon to Surv/Monk campaigns then i'm even more eager to adopt that idea. my only real hold-up about the pup was that we clearly see it drown in Arti's dream (the same flashing aura behaviour when you swim underwater), and if he really did drown then the only way to bring him back to life would be through karmic rebirth "last checkpoint save" kind of thing… which feels a bit cheap? a little too simple for me. i'm heavily biased here, because a while ago i read an interesting lore post of someone trying to explain why Arti's pups wouldn't "respawn" if they were killed, while Arti did. in short, the pups were too young to be bound by karma and so when they died, they died for good (reincarnated as a different creature, maybe) - but Artificer being an adult and already having experienced the urges before, was brought back. if i can, i will try to find that post again, and link it here.

ANYWAY yeah, personal AUs don't have to strictly comform to the game's canon, i keep forgetting about that. hell, i've seen people revive scav king or, i dunno, SOS from the dead, and they made it work.

speaking of my AU again, i may also have headcanon'd Arti's mate as a semi-aquatic scug (less freaky than riv tho), and so Bryn/green pup would have inherited some of those genes, making him more likely to survive the drowning. so yeah, i think i like the storytelling potential of keeping the pup alive, althought i'd have to sit down and do a proper brainstorming on what that means… when Arti and Marbles eventually reunite with their long lost other half of the family.

by the way, if you (or anyone else reading this post) wants to use my ideas in their own AU then i'm okay with that! no need to credit or anything. many people come up with similar concepts anyway, it'd be silly to try and police them on it.

[callinskiiscalling88]

An Ace pokemon is their strongest

Includes All 7 dorms + Staff

This is your sign to totally ask my about my pokemon au I wrote a whole lore doc for it and even added some hisui stuff

Heartybul

Riddle: Shaymin

Shaymin is a hedgehog and since Riddle is the grass gym leader in my au it just worked the best. Imagine it's flower is a rose though. (He probably wouldn't use it for the gym that's too op)

Ace: Scorbunny

I needed a lil rascal for Ace and Scorbunny gives such Ace vibes.

Deuce: Buneary

After the bunny event (can't remember the name of it for the life of me) I had to give him a bunny pokemon. I also wanted it to be a duo with Ace's ace. (tehehe ace and ace) For all you Adeuce-ers I have a drawing vision I'll create one day.

Cater: Ditto

Identity issues. I picture Ditto approaching Cater as Cater and he assumed it was a clone for the longest time. Ofc until he tried making it disappear and it didn't work.

Trey: Chansey

He's like the big brother of the group so I thought Chansey was perfect.

Savanaclaw

I didn't wanna just base them off of their species since I was going to give them Pokemon Beastman types instead. (For example Leona is a Pyroar Beastman)

Leona: Lucario

I wanted a fighting type since he's the fighting gym leader. So when I was playing Legends Arceus and stumbled upon an alpha Lucario I knew it had to be. (Dunno how much it fits tho tbh)

Ruggie: Timburr

I needed a lil rascal for him. Someone who could snag something and run off. Also preferably a fighting type. Timburr fits the profile.

Jack: Lycanroc

He turns into a wolf...this one had to be a wolf. I wanted one that didn't give intimidating vibes and Lycanroc was my best bet. I feel like it's a very loyal pokemon and from what I know Jack is decently loyal. (I'm sorry I don't know much about Jackypoo)

Octavinelle

Azul: Grapploct

I know I said I didn't wanna go species based, but tbh it was either this or Vaporeon and I feel like I could find more similarities with these two. It's pre-evolution is a small little guy who works it's way up to it's strong version, similar to Azul working hard to become the successful man- teen he is today.

(this lil guy)

Jade: Lapras

I needed something to pair with Floyd and just going for the eels felt too easy. Lapras has this elegance that Jade has so I thought it'd work

Floyd: Gyrados

(did I spell that wrong?) He totally caught a Magikarp when he was younger because he thought it looked funny then kept it. Look at it now!!

Scarabia

Kalim: Donphan

I wanted an angry looking pokemon to contradict his friendly optimistic-ness. + elephant. He rides an elephant in Chapter/Book 4.

Jamil: Serviper

Jamil *Viper* Ser*Viper*

Ignyhyde

Idia: Luxray

Almost went with PorygonZ but he likes kitties and as the electric type gym leader I had to go with Luxray. Lions are cats!!

Ortho: Rotom

Come on... Do I have to explain? Oh wait non-pokemon fans might be reading this, yes I do. Rotom can travel between devices and sometimes even the players Pokedex. (Encyclopedia of Pokemon) (Sun/Moon for example)

Diasomnia

Malleus: Meowstick♂️

Everyone keeps giving him a super op team full of legend/psuedo-legendary dragon types but instead I made him part Dialga (basically the god of time) so I could excuse it.

I can't see him getting many pokemon, most escaping their balls and leaving Mal down. But this Meowstick lives in his castle. He wanted to befriend it but it was really stubborn. Eventually they became comrades tho!!

Silver: Swablu

He needs an Altaria. It's a cloud bird (technically dragon but shhhh)‼️‼️Swablu doesn't evolve until level 50 though and he's still young so he needs to wait.

Sebek: Pom-Pom Oricorio

I LOVE HIS DYNAMIC WITH ORICORIO!! I picked it because it was an electric cheerleader and he's always idolizing Mal but there's lore origins

Sebek found Oricorio when he was younger and out playing with Silver. It was injured and about to faint (Pokemon's equivalent to dying) Silver insisted on rushing it home and having Lilia help save it. Sebek carried it all the way there and it grew attached to him.

I can see Baul having issues with him having a non-evolving Pokemon but give it time, it'll prove it can be strong

Lilia: Sneasler

Come on...Look at them.

Sneasler is a Hisui exclusive actually, and Hisui is Sinnoh in the 1700s-ish. It also looks like it could be a soldier, look at it. Amazing. Perfect. I love Sneasler.

Extra: (You'll have to look these up yourself)

Crowley: Haunchcrow, it's in the name, it's a crow.

Crewel: Furfrou, dog you get to stylize, perfect fit

Vargas: Machamp (please say I didn't mix it up, the fully evolved one) Human like muscle pokemon absolutely perfect.

Trein: Lucius, Lucius is a pokemon in my au. shush it's just a rare species

Sam: Dusknoir, skull ghost type. Perfect for Sammypoo.

So that concludes all their aces. Funsies!! I'm back in my Pokemon hyperfix so I'm brainrotting. This was one of many...

I have everything planned out but the lore doc only contains up to Scarabia's arc rn. (But still ask about anything I literally have most of it planned)

The Pokemon au focuses on Yuu, who gets sent to the TWST region (shush ik not creative) by Arceus (Pokemon God). Professor Crowley finds poor Yuu and offers to help them home, if they complete the Pokedex. (I had to type that out 4 times I kept accidentally deleting it)

Thanks for Reading

Octavinelle and Diasomnia are my favs rn because those (+ Pomfiore) I branch away from the main story the most. (Yuu gets into trouble with Azul let's just say~)

So ask about it, I wanna share the brainrot. (I'll probably make a massive lore post about it one day if no one does...I can't be contained)

Anyways have a wonderhoytastic day!!

Thanks for reading, Byebye!!

[irregularsleepingfish]

Can I hear your thoughts on Slayer :3c ? (For the ask game)

SLAYER. SLAYER IS EVERYTHING TO ME

First impression: slayer is the reason im into guilty gear. this isnt hyperbole or a joke at all. me and a couple of my friends years ago were messing around in +R on the switch, before i had a laptop that could really run games. im looking through the roster and i see slayer, and i ask "who's this old man??" and they go "thats slayer. hes a vampire. hes kinda hard to learn though i wouldnt go for him for your first character" (i had never played a fighting game before). i did not listen to them. i heard vampire. i saw old man. i jumped on that shit. i bought xrd for him. because he wasnt in strive at the time. concisely: my first impression was "fuck he's hot"

Impression now: "fuck he's hot." i love him so much. i mean ok. jokes about him being hot aside. the immortal vampire who observes the workings of humanity like the world is a theater performance is fucking awesome. he vibes. he's so... eccentric. in such a fun way. i love the haiku thing the shitty randomly generated haikus in his IK and strive winscreen. that win line he has against venom in i think +R that goes something like, "if the prince never showed up for snow white, would you be satisfied with just that?" is absolutely insane. i could go on for a hundred years and when he came to strive i was so fucking happy. i love him. truly Also, "Enjoy the Ride with Ups & Downs" is the most healing phrase to come out of media to me dude. Its a mantra. i say that to myself when things look bad and i feel Calm. Favorite moment: Two of them rly. One of them is the fight scene with Bedman in Xrd (keeping vague since ik you havent played xrd yet and i dont wanna spoil it but everyone who has knows exactly what im talking about) Other one is this from Night of Knives:

Sir can you d. can you do that to. to me. put a knife to my neck and do. that. and say that to me. pl-please i-i'm (gets pilebunker'd)

Idea for a story: I actually was thinking about writing something for him and Sharon. I'm... not sure what specifically but a date between them would be nice and very cute

Unpopular opinion: young slayer isnt attractive. sorry. the appeal is that hes an old man. tho im not sure how unpopular that is it might not be. shrug

Favorite relationship: With his Lovely Wife. I want more material of Sharon tbh she seems so interesting but all we have are scraps :( But i love what they do have going on. I love that shes immortal and gives him her blood. I love that he simply cannot disobey her no matter what. She has that man on a leash and you know it

Favorite headcanon: TRANS SLAYER FOR THE WIN

[authoralexharvey]

INTERVIEW WITH A WRITEBLR — @vsnotresponding

Who You Are:

V || They/she

Born and raised in a town in Catalonia, Spain. I always had an interest for stories and storytelling, and art in general, as well as math. I wrote my first book at 17 as my project to graduate high school. I'm currently majoring in math, translating said book, and plotting another one.

What You Write:

What genres do you write in? What age ranges do you write for?

Fantasy, Paranormal, Sci-Fi, Tragedy. Young and New Adult

What genre would you write in for the rest of your life, if you could? What about that genre appeals to you?

fantasy, mainly because i love worldbuilding and i often focus on religions or magic systems

What genre/s will you not write unless you HAVE to? What about that genre turns you off?

i don't think i could ever write a purely romance book. my aroaceness makes it very hard for me to write romance in general.

Who is your target audience? Do you think anyone outside of that would get anything out of your works?

i'm not really sure. i write mostly for me. probably just soft fantasy readers? i think people that enjoy worldbuilding and lore might enjoy my stories too. i think anyone could get something out of my books. the setting is just an excuse to write about other things at the end of the day

What kind of themes do you tend to focus on? What kinds of tropes? What about them appeals to you?

grief and circular time appeal the most to me, also main characters struggling with mental health, feeling displaced and out of place. as for tropes, found family and people who dislike each other forced to work together. i don't know why grief comes up that much in my stories. i am obsessed with thinking about circular time, tho. and the mental health issues of my main characters is mostly projecting. as for the tropes, it's all about finding your people whom you feel like yourself with.

What themes or tropes can you not stand? What about them turn you off?

i can deal with pretty much any trope as long as it's entertaining. certain styles of writing is what ultimately turn me off when reading.

What are you currently working on? How long have you been working on it?

i'm currently translating and posting púlsar, i book i wrote when i was 17. i've been translating for three months, and posting for one. i'm also working on untitled project (that's the actual name for the wip), figuring out plot details and that kinda things. i've been doing that since 2019, when UP was born

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

i write because i am my own target audience, and because i want to tell my ocs' stories. that's what keeps me going too. i can't just be rid of them, they live rent free in my brain

How long have you been writing? What do you think first drew you to it?

since forever, i guess. i remember writing stories as a kid. i was also an avid reader, and a lonely only child that was left alone to their own devices too often, so i found ways to entertain myself

Where do you get your inspiration from? Is that how you got your inspiration for your current project? If not, where did the inspiration come from?

from my daily life, i guess. púlsar doesn't have that many sources of inspiration that i'm aware of, but UP has lots of influences from my philosophy classes from back in high school. in general, music helps a lot with how i approach my writing.

What work of yours are you most proud of? Why?

some short stories i wrote in high school. they are all writing assignments, but i went so hard on them they are still one of the bests things i've ever written. also my answer to a question in my philosophy final, which i later turned into a short story. circular time, man, i told you

Have you published anything? Do you want to?

i haven't, but i'd like to. i just want to share my worlds and characters with other people

What part of the publishing process most appeals to you? What part least appeals to you?

the sharing, but i also think it's very stressful

What part of the writing process most appeals to you? What part is least appealing?

putting it all together. i love finding out how i've unintentionally set up scenes i hadn't even thought about, or how unimportant details turn vital when i add a new scene

Do you have a writing process? Do you have an ideal setup? Do you write in pure chaos? Talk about your process a bit.

oh boy. my writing process is a mess. it's mostly non linear, and i sit with my stories for a long long time before ever starting to write. i also pull from my drawings. sometimes i'll randomly draw one oc doing something completely arbitrary, and then see that it actually fits with the plot so why not add it. generally, i have a very rough direction of where i want to go, 2 or 3 key scenes i know for sure have to happen, then i put the characters in A Situation and let them take the reins from there. because i've sit with them for so long before actually writing, i'm confident enough in my knowledge of them so i never doubt where they are going, they just go. usually i plan ahead for two or three chapters, mostly a bullet point summary or an explanation of events for UP it's been way more complicated because of the nature of the story and its non linearity

Your Thoughts on Writeblr:

How long have you been a writeblr? What inspired you to join the community?

i joined four months ago. i just wanted to share my work with other like minded people, and i'm honestly glad i did. i've met so many wonderful people in such a short amount of time, and the community is wonderful

Shout out some of your favorite writeblrs. How did you find them and what made you want to follow them?

i recently started following @mjjune. i simply fell in love with their now betaing twtr and their general vibes @moondust-bard has also created a bunch of writblr initiatives like a tag game list, and other ongoing projects and i have to mention @my-cursed-prince. she asked me a lot of questions about circular time, and then i checked out her wips and adopted her ocs on the spot

What is your favorite part about writeblr?

tag/asks games, and in general the community. i like sharing, sure, but it's also nice to be able to talk about worlbuilding and lore and how annoying ocs sometimes are with people that get it

What do you think writeblr could improve on? How do you think we can go about doing so?

huh, i'm not sure. more interaction with actual written stuff would be great, but everyone's busy with their lives outside of here so we can't ask of everyone to read everything that comes across their dashboards every day. it'd be great to have an easy to access place to check old and new writing without having to go to an individual blog every time, but that's also a time consuming project to manage

How do you contribute to the writeblr community? Do you think you could be doing more?

if i see someone asking for asks i always send one. i also try to be encouraging of others as much as i can. i do think i could be doing much more. for starters, i'd like to engage more with written content from other writblrs more, but i can't due to time constraints

What kinds of posts do you most like to interact with?

anything that strikes my fancy. i enjoy posts about the writing process struggles people have, or little thoughts they have as they write or plot

What kind of posts do you most like to make?

i love rambling when someone asks me a question. and also posting púlsar

Finally, anywhere else online we may be able to find you?

i have a half abandoned instagram art account with the same handle (vsnotresponding), and my main tumblr blog @iwrotemyowndeliverancesblog (i talk about maths and complain about life)

[mimikoolover]

More controversial take, but I don’t even think vmins relationship is all that special. It’s based on being same age friends and Jimins babying of Tae but there is no real substance there, at least not on Jimins part. Army hype up the relationship to a ridiculous degree, obsessively so, but take away the affection and what is there? It’s much more obvious they didn’t spend much time together in chapter 2, and I really want people to know that’s okay and it’s normal. People drift and come back together and the love remains, but to me it highlighted how their bond doesn’t extend much outside of work, where as it is so obvious Jikook share life together.

I know the show isn’t a hard launch of Jikooks relationship (whatever it is) but it isn’t not a hard launch. I mean the enlistment should have done that, shocked people to the core but nope, so the show is it. To me it’s them saying we’re close, deal with it, in a way in which we haven’t seen before. Like jkks know they are but Army at large ignore it, and although they still do, they are showing us them. They said that themselves so I know that’s the point. You can see it so clearly it’s impossible to ignore, highlighted even more by Tae’s presence.

Blogger stormy answered an ask earlier about FS in the show and if it’s present, it’s the ot7 mentions. And whilst I don’t think those mentions are forced, that is so true imo. The notion of the ot7 bond is what keeps BTS going, but I think chapter 2 did give them a much needed break, and time apart, again absolutely normal. These are young men, they need space to live their own lives. But the mention of others was sweet, Jimin calling Joon seeing as he was the only huyng not in MS at the time. It’s probably like calling your dad lol. Joon being the only one who turned to see Golden live counts for something in terms of namkooks relationship. Still though, it proves my thoughts and I think Goldy has said this before, that Jimin is the glue that holds them together for the most part. They all love him lots and he’s their centre I think, he tends to do the most ot7 FS (not a negative). It’s no wonder sometimes JK gets hurt in the process (not always on purpose aka the teasing), but man’s got him some alone time with Jimin and book Tae is there. Must have been frustrating. And for him saying it was better with Tae there, he literally followed what Jimin said first. But that’s the ot7, I don’t actually think they were serious, and obviously wanted to be alone, as it was meant to be for the two of them.

I just love the intimacy and domesticity they have, it’s so natural to them, like breathing, I’ve been in a relationship for 8 years and it reminds me of myself and my partner, of when you’re in your own world (we have no kids so have that freedom to be just us), they leave no room for others, and if they do it’s minimal. Although busy chapter 2 will have allowed them time to be them, no group work or content, no members breathing down their throats or trying to separate them. Just time for them, and it shows.

thank you for your thoughts anon and I agree, the show highlighted jikook's 'chemistry' as even the teasers called it😂I thought the same about vmin for a while (few years lol). I don't necessarily trust that when I see people hype something up between members that it's because something is actually there. I think it's more that those people want vmin to be soulmates (forever) so they will keep insisting on that. which I can sympathise with because if after the military jikook were less close, it would hurt me a lot (not afraid to admit that lol) cause I'm invested in their (first of all) close friendship so I would be delulu about it for a while for sure. but in terms of dynamics, I think from around 2016/2017 is when the vminkook dynamic changed and it was when jikook became closer. I do think everyone in bts loves jimin the most though and like you said he is the glue in that respect. jimin always wanted jk tho even just in the sense that some people like having their person (even as just friends, there's two people at my work who def come as a duo of friends and one is a woman married with kids, the other is guy in a long term relationship with his boyfriend, not saying that jikook are this but just saying that as an example that certain people like to have a partner like that and I get this vibe from jikook that they like having a 'partner'). I think for tae and (probably lol) namjoon it's a bit more to come to terms with because they'd like to be jimin's fav (with tae I also get the vibe that he himself wants to be everyone's fav for the sake of that popularity and adoration in addition to him loving jimin). but from 2017 on when jungkook finally started choosing jimin was when the decline between the soulmates started imo (and jk and tae at the same time as well). and since then the situation within the group is that it's jikook + X given member. they come as a duo and the members know it and it is obvious in AYS.

I think ot7 is fanservice but I also think especially jimin and yoongi are very into the concept of ot7 forever so as much as fans are invested in it, I think the members are too (some more than others). it's fanservice sometimes but it's also I think reassurance for them too? but with jungkook in particular he was always ot7, never claiming to choose a fav which I think is bc he's the youngest and he is careful not to hurt any of their feelings. altho he clearly has a fav and it's jimin lol he never really wants the others to feel like he loves them less I think (and that's when we get the 'jimin is not the main model' dramatics even tho he clearly is lol).

[angelofverdum]

BEYONCE by Beyoncé

I've been listening to this album none stop and I don't know why.

Since March I've been going From Las mujeres ya no lloran to Cowboy Carter nonstop, they got me like

But I said mmm let me go listen to these two queens' whole discography, after I finished I went back to Beyonce's self-titled and I'm stuck there.

The first time I heard a song from this album I was still learning English, so I was like what the hell is a "Partition". I know I know, but I was tiny with pure thoughts.

I barely remember when the album dropped but the world was in shambles, I wasn't a fan then but I liked some of her songs, mostly the singles.

Everybody was talking about Partition because of the damn chair, but to me, the song sounded crazy like the rhythm was wrong, idk what it was but I didn't like it.

But I kept coming back to Partition even tho it sounded weird to me, but I was like this this:

Anyway, BEYONCE is the album that made me a fan, a few years later tho, I knew more english and I've matured. I listened to the album again and realized what a masterpiece that album is.

It's my favorite album from her, all the albums that have come after are probably better because Beyonce keeps growing as an artist and even today she hasn't peaked which is scary but BEYONCE is like an after and before of her career.

It feels like she said fuck commercial success, and I know she's been saying this since 4, but what she did was very risky and she made history.

BEYONCE is my favorite album because she was having fun, being horny, bisexual, and got a bob, how can I not love this album.

Like did she need to do all of this? no, but she did and we are thankful.

So I'm gonna talk about every song in her album because I feel like it

1. Pretty Hurts.

I think this is her weakest opening for an album. It's not one of my favorite songs from her in general but it's not a skip like people like to say, and somehow set the tone for what the album is. Also watching Beyonce throw up was shocking to me as an easily impressionable young girl.

2. Haunted.

Probably one of her less commercial songs but a masterpiece nonetheless. It's so so SO good, I wish I could eat this song. "Working 9 to 5 just to stay alive" She is so right for that and "Probably won't make no money off this, oh well" with the ghostly voice. A masterpiece through and through. "My wicked tongue where will it be". One of my favorite videos too.

3. Drunk in love.

Beyonce is a very horny person she put all of that in her art but when she sings with Jay-Z I feel they often get too close to giving too much information bc why was Jay saying they conceived Blue in Paris at the OTR tour? Me, personally I didn't need to know. Anyway, this song is a hit, it's better than Crazy in Love (a timeless hit) but not as good as Deja Vu.

But hello? The surfboard line and the "your breastesses in my breakfast" line. Just horny people and like he said "My wife Beyoncé, I brag different" I'll be like that too.

Also, this iconic dance that I have to do every time I listen to the song

4. Blow.

Her horniest song until now when she released Desert Eagle. "Can you lick my skittles in the middle" "Pink is the flavor" "I can't wait 'til I get home so you can turn that cherry out" the whole song is crazy and the best part she doesn't even say a bad word or an explicit phrase.

Well, "Gimme that daddy-long stroke" is kinda nasty. Also, what does she mean by this?

Does she want to taste that pink flavor? Ok BIyoncé

5. No angel.

In this song, Beyonce is saying that no one is perfect, not even her, and that if you are in a relationship you have to work hard and fuck harder

"Stop actin’ so scared, just do what I tell. First, both of my legs go back on your head. And whatever you want, yeah, baby, I’ll bet it comes true"

And we should listen bc that's on 16 years of marriage

6. Yonce/Partition

The best song on the album. The badassery in Yoncé. The bisexualism that is the video. One of the best bars ever written for a song "I sneezed on the beat and the beat go sicker". The song is so perfect and sexy and nasty. "I don't need you seein' 'Yoncé on her knees"

In this song, she is supposed to be singing to her man about having sex in a car but she is also fantasizing about a threesome with another woman "The kind of girl you like is right here with me"

She had a woman liking her neck, appearing from between their legs and touching her sensually. Oh, Partition you'll always be famous.

7. Jealous

This is the kind of song that made me wonder how much of this was biographical and how much was imagination. Here she talks about waiting for him at home and she says something similar in Lemonade. I don't want to repeat myself but I really love this song. It's just so good.

Also wtf Jay? She is in her penthouse half-naked, cooking a meal for you naked. So where the hell you are?

8. Rocket

I think this one is the only song I had trouble liking it. And I know now that is a good song, don't love but I like it enough to not skip it. Beyonce asks from the jump if she can sit her ass on you. What's not to like? She is guiding you through the whole song"Hard rock, Steady rock" and "Got me screaming to the lord" I just know she has Jay tired.

9. Mine

This song is so good that I can listen to Drake's annoying ass. I wish it was her voice only. Her part is so good "I'm not feeling like myself since the baby" "Me being wherever I'm at worried about wherever you are" also "Alone in my place my heart is away" You'll crumble Sean Carter for making her feel this way.

10. XO

It's crazy how this song makes me feel so nostalgic. It's like it brings happy childhood memories. That kind of feeling makes me love and appreciate this song so so much.

11.***Flawless

She went to the studio mad as hell, ready to invent feminism to tell the haters fuck you.

12. Superpower

The most underrated song on the album. Still relevant to this day. Pharrell and Boots did their thing with this one, and Beyoncé of course. And the social implications, the feminism, the iconism, the cultural significance of this moment right here:

Destiny's Child, you are so loved by me.

13. Heaven

Heaven makes me so emotional. Letting go someone you love is not an easy thing to do. Boots is pretty good at what he does.

14. Blue

The iconic Blue Ivy Carter. Imagine your mom is Beyonce and she writes one of the most beautiful songs for you. It's not my favorite song and it's definitely not her best close song for an album (That goes to Summer Renaissance).

Platinum edition

Yes, I'm writing about these six tracks because the cowboy lady decided that the platinum edition will be the only one available on Spotify, even tho everybody knows that the deluxe versions of an album always suck and the standards are always better.

1. 7/11

This is one of her most fun videos just laughing and dancing. However, why is she saying that she wants to "Kick it" with a girl and a guy? Also, this is the song she chose to celebrate the legalization of gay marriage in the US and this is how she perform live that damn song

Jay-z you'll pay for getting to her too young and not letting her experiment.

2. Flawless remix

Nicki did her thing she was the best rapper in town. The Beynika stans were born and they were claiming Nicki and Bey were in love. Fanfics were created. You had to be there. The song is fine. I can listen to this version or the solo version, it's the same to me.

3. Drunk in Love (Remix)

Nobody listens to this song. A skip totally. Like Kanye should just shut up, thinking he can do a decent verse next to the best rapper in the game and Jay-Z. Beyonce was wrong for inviting him.

4. Ring off

I'm not going to say anything nasty because I support women's freedom and Mama Tina getting out of her sad marriage because it was time she put her love on top.

5. Blow Remix

Shut up Pharell. Coming here to ruin a perfect song.

6. Standing on the song remix

The Creole lady said you gonna get the remix and you gonna like it. I'm giving this song its 8.5 for giving me latinyoncé.

"Mix up passion with fruit, sangria BB Cubana, ay, qué lindo ya tú sabes, camino como cocino, primo"

Grown Woman

I know this song is not a track on the album but I wanted to include it on this list because first, it's so good, and second it's fascinating how Beyonce did this for a Pepsi commercial, release a whole ass video on the visual album, and only 10 years later she put it on streaming. She is crazy.

Nothing else to add besides BEYONCÉ is so important to the music industry. It popularized visuals (She doesn't do that anymore tho) and established Friday as the official day for music releases.

After this Album Beyonce has been releasing masterpiece after masterpiece.

I'll stop yapping now after saying I love Beyoncé and we should invent immortality for her.

[avissapiens]

Jockbull Summer Week 1 (12/11/23-18/11/23) - Set A

Model used is Tsonghan Wu

1 & 2.

I don’t typically train with push ups all that often, but I picked this as my personal goal because there’s such a potent jock energy about being able to show off and crank out effortless reps of push ups. Massive high school sports star energy. But we started small. Only managed 22 on my first day. Granted it was immediately after a Push session.

The second attempt however I integrated the competitive element. I went to one of my best friends from back home, K. Total stud who i’ve always envied and idolized. I expect he’ll come up a few more times before this is over so might as well give him some designation. I asked him to make it a contest to beat his score. He hit 30 in one go. I pushed myself so fucking hard because I would not lose to him. I was gonna kick his ass. And I did. I hit 31 and then spent a good minute on the floor unable to get up. It felt so fucking good tho. Increasing by so much. Pushing and winning against my bro. It made my night. 3rd attempt i hit 32. If i keep increasing. Keep pushing. Maybe i’ll get to 100 by the end.

3.

The first step is an important milestone. Obviously as a Self-employed writer/full time student in a different country I don't have a MASSIVE collection of clothes to chuck out (you all can change that). But there are definitely a few that I already know are going to get the boot when the time comes. The reason this one was so important for me and Jockrs is because we both felt that as long as those old clothes were an option, I’d keep defaulting to them out of habit. Over-sized, drab, boring. Hiding the gainz and the new person i want to become. So the first piece I threw out was a fairly cheap ugly grey long sleeved shirt that I bought when I first moved to NZ. 6XL. Bought 3 sizes too big for me at a time when I was 3 sizes too big for me. And as I've leaned down and put on muscle, all this shirt does is wash me out and make me swim in fabric. It had to go. But I still feel indebted to it. It was a go-to piece of clothing on my worst Dysmorphia days when I felt like a fat, disgusting piece of shit. It helped me deal with the anxiety of being in a new place where I clearly didn’t look like I belonged. It helped me hide when I needed to hide. But i don’t need to hide anymore.

4.

Unfortunately I couldn't really work on this as much as I wanted. Jokers was still in exam mode so some of the shared tasks that required him were a bust. That said, I did slip a few more "dudes", "mans" and "bros" into my chatter with gym bros. And I went as far as coaching some dudes through my leg day workout. This is one I'm eager to make progress on because it's so antithetical to what I've always been. My speech has always been a weird indistinguishable hybrid. I’ve been mistaken for American, British and Canadian. I’ve had my voice described as “trans-Atlantic”, Despite coming from the Caribbean. I was always discouraged from indulging too much in dialect and slang when I was young. “Speak properly”. Combined with being fairly bookish and advanced, maybe that led to some good things in the long run. My skill with words, language and voice are unique. They’re why you all love me. But it did mean that by the time I was in secondary school I was a little alienated from my peers. I didn’t talk like them. I didn’t want to either but it was rough always being mistaken for a foreigner on soil you have never left in your life. In a sense, me picking up an even more exaggerated americanized accent is taking that full circle. Developing a bit more control over my speech to inhabit an ideal I have always longed for. Sounds cool, rite brah?

5.

Again, one restricted by Jockrs being in exam mode. I didn’t want to get too far. But we finally watched the first episode of the 2018 series. One of the rare occasions where the dub is notably better than the sub. But god. What a wild ride. 10/10. No notes. It's just pure gas. And that first episode really struck a chord with me. Something visceral about being palpably perceived as a threat. Emanating danger from you that lessers can sense in their bones. Actually being a weapon in human form. I get such a thrill from that concept. I understand why the toxic tik tok gym bro crowd latches on to this show so much. I think I will too.

[reckless-rider]

Ok here are all of my thoughts, questions, comments, etc about Stars Align

This might be messy sorry lmao I'll try to keep it organized tho (Spoiler warning)

So starting off, I wouldn't have minded if they did this but I'm glad that Maki wasn't always cold and reserved (again I wouldn't have minded). It was refreshing to see him smile, laugh, and enjoy his time with the team. You can tell that he loves all of the people on the team and its fun to watch.

Also, I am pretty concerned about Maki after watching that ending. Yeah his father is a major piece of shit and I fucking hate him but I hope Maki didn't kill him. I just don't want anything bad to happen to Maki. Like all of the boys, I hope they get a hug and happiness.

So, Toma's brother brought up that they have another brother but where is he? Did he move out? How old is he?? From a passing comment it doesn't seem like this other brother wants anything to do with them judging by the fact that we never see him, but I could be way wrong.

I really do hate Toma's mother, he's done nothing wrong and she hates him for no reason. She compares him to his brother but they are not the same person! And she hates him for that?

Speaking of Toma and Maki, from the tribute video that they dropped, it looked like they had a falling out :((( Maybe they become rivals, I kinda hope it becomes a Free! situation where Rin and Haru started out as friends when they were young, then became rivals, then became friends once again. I would be happy if something like that happens with Toma and Maki because they were such great friends but what happened?

Ok on the topic of rivals, I really liked that the rivalry with Oji was also really fun to watch because it wasn't like they had to have their rivalry on 100% of the time. Like they really enjoyed having him around during the BBQ and they even kinda cheered each other on (if they could) during the tournament. They even let him be apart of their hype ritual!

I feel that Rintaro definitely has good parents, at least from what we've seen. They really do care about their son and want what's best for him. I do also hope that Rintaro gets to meet his birth mother if he wants to and I hope she's good to him.

With Rintaro, I understand him feeling like he isn't good enough and he failed as the vice president. I mean it did seem like Maki took over his job and I wish that we got to see them talk about this issue and come up with a middle ground.

I also thought that Shingo's parents weren't that bad either, maybe a little overprotective but not as bad as some of the other parents. It seemed that they really cared about their children's safety, especially, their daughter (obviously lmao she's like 4).

I feel like Maki's mother did a great job honestly, she seemed like one of the best parents and it has to be very hard for her to be in a situation like that. But it seemed like she did a pretty good job.

The only other set of good parents imo is Taiyo's parents, they seemed like they were pretty supportive, even if they thought their son wasn't a great player at the time. Yeah maybe they went about the responsibility thing a bit wrong, everyone makes mistakes and they seem to try and correct themselves after he stood of for him and Nao. They still didn't have a problem with him playing even if Taiyo's pair didn't win.

Everyone else's parents fucking sucked, I do not need to get into why lmao.

I'm going to be completely honest, but at first I didn't like Soga and Ameno but they quickly grew on me! I was pretty sad that Soga couldn't play in the tournament. Him and Shingo worked so hard only for it not to happen, but at the same time they really did help Nao and Taiyo with their confidence which I think is important.

Speaking of Nao, in the tribute video we see that his knuckles are bruised and bandaged, which makes me wound what could have happened. Obviously something wrong is going on and I wanna know what! Let my boys be happy pls :(

I also want to mention that the art style is fucking gorgeous! And omg the representation is fantastic holy shit!!! Yu is non-binary and the show explicitly says it, which I haven't really seen done in an anime, especially a sports anime. I actually have some LGBT+ headcannons for some of the characters lmao

I think this is all I'll say for rn, this is already really long slkdjf I hope this made sense!

[coffeeallaloneandlord]

.

got out my laptop to write a vent post like it's 2014 idk i'm just like ruminating on every breakup i've ever had and realizing after 15 years of trying to fit the role of girlfriend that is really just not for me lol! like i really thought i was on that path but if there's been any theme to my life so far it's that my path is not straightfoward like i transferred high schools i transferred colleges i moved to a new state without knowing anybody lost my housing immediately in a pandemic and still made it fucking work now i manage a restaurant which i could have NEVER seen myself doing 4 years ago even tho i always wanted to. the first most significant relationship i had when i was 18/19 was with a really genuinely great guy, i broke up with him because i knew somehow that i was too young and had a lot more to experience. it sucked because i loved him deeply and still did for years afterwards to a painful degree lmao. that colored a lot of my subsequent relationships thru college and beyond, which mostly: sucked. and they sucked because they all paled in comparison to the great relationship i had given up in order to have the freedom to have shitty relationships lol. so then i had some shitty relationships, interspersed with periods of girlbossing, then when i was 26 i started dating someone (long distance that i met thru a friend) who was really a perfect match for me in so many ways and i genuinely thought like this is it. literally had king of my heart on the relationship playlist, baby all at once this is enough. but then over time the realities of what it would take to really build that relationship, especially if it meant marriage, actually sank in for me and all that i would have to give up about myself, the life that i've built here, that i fought so hard to build. also i've said it before and i'll say it again.... this grown man let his mother do his laundry. this red flag represented more family dynamics that i won't get into for his sake but it was like once the puzzle pieces fell into place about what i was being asked to sign up for re commitment and marriage it was like omfg no. i will not be doing this man's laundry in 5 years' time fuming and resentful. so i ended that relationship which sucked because all my breakups SUCK i can never have a half decent breakup to save my fucking life, but i was still of the mindset that he wasn't the one for me and i needed to keep looking/waiting. i've dated here and there since then. but what took months and months to sink in the aftermath of that breakup was that the little details like the laundry and the distance that caused that breakup and not the underlying cause of all my breakups since i was 16 which all boil down to i don't wanna do this anymore lol. some people think the term honeymoon phase is controversial or whatever but that has been the case for me in every single relationship ive had that's gotten off the ground. relationships that don't get off the ground are a completely different story lol the only similarity is that every breakup ive ever had big or small sucked ass. to the point where it would lead to me staying in relationships way longer than i should have to avoid a traumatizing breakup which as we all know only makes the breakup worse [[laughing emoji x 13]]. so now like thinking about a guy a like and care about and him hypothetically asking me to be his girlfriend and i can't think of anything fucking worse. like no shade to the girlfriends out there. but my experience of being a girlfriend, even of a guy who treats you well, is that they are using the experience of possessing you to feel good about themselves. all guys do this. the guy who wanted to marry me treated me like aphrodite and worshipped the ground i walked on. and i believe he truly loved me, in a way no one ever has. but it felt perverse after awhile, like in the end it was really serving him. my laptop may die and i don't wanna lost this post, if you're still reading tysm for reading my stream of consciousness <333 if you didnt read this far sorry for not being perfectlol

[acidrcins]

did you hear the latest scoop ? we’ve got a new student joining us ! a little birdie told me that they’re called CHAE SEORI, but they kinda remind me of BAE SUZY — don’t ‘cha think ? you’re probably thinkin’ they’re just another TWENTY-SEVEN year old in their FIRST year of some MASTER'S DEGREE IN BIOCHEMISTRY , but wait ‘till you hear about their POISON GENERATION ! nifty, huh ? they’re pretty PRINCIPLED on nullivi, but you should watch out for their VINDICTIVE just in case ! anyway — if you wanna check them out, i heard they’re staying at the YELLOW HALL. oops ! you didn’t hear that one from me !  ༊*·˚

hello, i'm liv and v excited to b here! im a sl*t for anything superpower related and im also still off that gen v high so very excited to be here! all i can offer is this intro post, which i hope covers all the Key Aspects of miss chae seori. if i may summarize, shes just trying her best to be a good person while making questionable decisions and internalizing everything bad that her family has ever said abt her ‪♡‬ a cate dunlap wanda maximoff dupe rly

do like this post if u would like to plot because i would LOVE to and i much prefer d*scord hehe

also tw for mentions of nausea

𖥸 ─ basics

chae seori (often seen with gloves and a mask)

scorpio sun, pisces moon, scorpio rising

born 12 november 1996 in a small town in the outskirts of seoul 

currently a first year masters student, studying biochemistry & living in yellow hall

makes poison out of her fingertips & can infect those through physical contact or through air (if in close proximity)

there have been rumours going around that seori is able to give a kiss of death but she would like to debunk those rumors! her lips are harmless really its just the air around her

big on wearing patches but she wont tell you. will make u guess whether she has one or not. (justifies by saying shes just having fun)

𖥸 ─ personality

tl;dr morally grey girl, who's trying to prove herself as a good person (but it's hard when your powers are literal poison). a little bit of a manic pixie dream girl too

positive: principled, collected, intuitive, charming, inquisitive

negative: reticent, elusive, vindictive, temperamental, self-centered

alignment: chaotic neutral (the only principles she follows are the ones she sets for herself)

character inspirations: heavily inspired by gen v's cate dunlap, the hunger games' finnick odair, mcu's wanda maximoff, looking for alaska's alaska young, yellowjackets' natalie

archetypes: the vixen, the philophobic, the antihero

associated aesthetics: shades of gray, smiles that don't seem to reach your eyes, making questionable decisions but finding ways to justify them to yourself, dark eyes and darker nights, flirtatious touches with a hint of danger, red lipstick, unexplained headaches and waves of nausea

in control of her emotions but has tendencies to lash out. she is working really hard to be a good person!!! (by her standards) (she is thisclose to just saying fuck it and just embracing that she is a Villain tho pls someone enable her)

but she can get very resentful lmfao (example A: in her most recent biochemistry class, she told herself urself it was ok that the guy in class just mansplained a concept that she had already understood in middle school but then also gave him a wave of nausea once class ended because he was so fucking rude and deserved it)

keeps up a facade of being coquettish and flirtatious ( i never watched doona but that was the vibe i got from her gifs lmfao ) i think she can be quite charming tbh the queen of breadcrumbing ‪♡‬ keep them close enough, but never enough to touch. it's sort of a coping mechanism. safe space where no one can see what a shit person she really is and how she doesnt really deserve love

no one really knows much abt her and she intends to keep it that way

heavily motivated by wanting to know more! generally the kind of person who would conduct wild ass experiments or "would you love me if i were a worm" i kinda picture it like how finnick in catching fire is like he's paid with secrets!! same vibe with seori :D

𖥸 ─ background

pretty ordinary life growing up. parents are not particularly rich but they don't struggle either. happy small town family ‪:)

shit hits the fan when shes twelve and her brother is fourteen and they find out hes an anomaly. superhuman strength and speed. finds out after he saves a dog from getting hit by a car

if it had been anyone else, perhaps, they would've been the town's outcast but because it's her older brother, all conventional good looks with conventionally lauded powers, they worship him. he becomes the town's superman, girls come up and take pictures with him, he even gets featured in the town parade and seori is just there in the shadows

it gets even worse two years later when she finds out shes also anomaly! but unlike her brother, seori causes an incident of projectile vomiting after a particularly envious moment where her family forgets her birthday and instead, spends the day with her brother. it is messy and disgusting and it happens in the town center. no one forgets. and seori is no longer there in the shadows, she's actively cast out, whispers about why she cant be more like her brother and this is why anomalies should not be given rights

it takes seori some time to figure out her powers but she gets the hang out of it. not that it matters lol shes the black sheep, the 'villain' because goddamn shes literal poison. even her family treats her that way

she doesn't believe those words until one day she gets into a heated argument with her family. tells her mum that shes a person too and wails her father that no one has called her by her name in years and she's nothing but a stain in their family. they don't deny it and in a fit of rage and hurt and anger, she manages to cause irreversible brain damage to her brother

and that is the moment seori realizes she is the villain everyone talks about and she is the monster (doesnt help that her pupils are dark and her veins are black) !!! not a pretty look (think the monsters in sweet home before they transform kind of vibe) and so she runs

runs and runs and runs to seoul where she gets by on illegal means. she is ashamed of the things she has done (e.g., disrupting the storeowners vision long enough to get food to eat, sent someone into unconsciousness and pretended to be their granddaughter caring for them to get a house to stay, batting doe-eyes to boys who will buy her a pack of ramen) and since then shes actively working on being a better person

swears to keep her feelings in control, only uses her powers when justified (although her moral compass is cracked)

𖥸 ─ wanted connections

thank you if you made it this far! ‪♡‬ ‪♡‬ mwah mwah i appreciate u also i love plotting and just brainstorming so here are some rough ideas but OFC always open to talk !!

friends ! or better yet, friends who only meet late at night and you talk about the stars and your feelings and in the morning you pretend you have no other who the other is

someone who's immune to her....

fellow individuals in #STEM

ok this is really specific BUT what if.. our muses were enemies... and they kissed... and seori's feeling INTENSE emotions and accidentally fucks ur muses' vision up and gives them a headache and she has to pretend like it didnt excite her

she doesnt believe she deserves to be loved, so i would LOVE an angsty first love breakup thing. bonus points if she broke ur muses heart

she accidentally poisons u (she swears its an accident)

u catch her doing some immoral shit and tell her shes not a good person

a sam/cate situation. someone enable her to just fuck it youre not a good person so embrace it!!!

i love angst and antagonism so lets beef (ic)

[longeyelashedtragedy]

gimme a whole speech on the writing of visited upon the sons, pls

ok! i hope you mean this for real and aren't going to laugh at me for giving a whole long serious answer (omg sometimes the 'i was a weird kid' instinct kicks in) but i assume your kindness 💙🤍

random trivia: i almost never write with music on, cause my head is so wild about music that it's too distracting, but i wrote this with "money" by pink floyd on repeat and i'm honestly not sure why? (i also wrote "digestif" listening to motorhead...not sure why either but u gotta roll with it)

where to start...

i wrote a really big chunk of the beginning while standing under some scaffolding waiting for a freak summer downpour to end so i could go get iced coffee. that's my favorite way to write--in a weird place on my notes app full of autocorrect mistakes and other things like that because i'm so in the zone that my brain is going way too fast for my fingers to keep up.

i was sooooo Absorbed in fact that i didn't realize until a couple days later that i had written it really oddly without realizing? You know how in 3rd person pov even if you're writing one person's perspective and you're in their head so you know their emotions, thoughts etc, you still narrate with the character's name? Like...Mason chokes on the the sip of water he was trying to take.  “Uhhh…that’s kind of fucked up?” he manages to squeak out in between coughs.  This is making him think things he doesn’t want to think doesn’t want to think doesn’t want to—He coughs again and runs his fingers nervously through his fluffy hair. that kind of thing? what i realized is that i had written this POV really strangely and tho frank is the POV he never refers to himself by name? is that a thing? i was like "well that's weird" and tried to fix it but the fic refused...it made the POV feel too distant when the point of the fic is that he's increasingly lost in his own mind. the closer you as the reader are to that, the better. i trust my writing instincts like--if i instinctively wrote that way then it must have been for a reason! (note that the middle section is written in the "traditional" 3rd person way which again just--felt way better because that section is soooooort of a coherent narrative--which is also kinda done for a reason)

however this meant i had to repeat mason's name WAY more than sounds natural so it wasn't confusing, and if i just Did that with no explanation, that's the kind of thing i'd pick up on as a reader and would consider to be unforgivably bad writing. so, i called it out directly in the fic, and gave it an in-world reason, which then actually became the fic summary 😂 (Mason, his Mason—It’s the repetition that dulls the emotions (some people would call that repression, wouldn’t they, but that word implies something wrong with one’s mental state and there’s nothing wrong at all) My fic my rules!

this fic was written really in like, 2 or 3 days of writing. it was nearly impossible to just write little bits here and there. this pov was very demanding of my full attention because i also had to disappear into franko's mind to write it and it's hard to just like, do that when you have 10 spare minutes. because of this i almost gave up on it because it felt like i'd never be able to regain the momentum of the first writing day and also--also--i struggled with the structure SO HARD. my initial plan was to have the fic start out normally, and then intersperse frank's memories with the present, and each time he re-joins the present from a memory he gets more and more fucked up. (and of course, mason is clueless to it at first, and then he's all ?????) you can see lil remnants of this throughout--i think mostly in the beginning when he pours the rosé. (His fist clenches around the bottle as he pours and Mason catches that too. For fuck’s sake, he’s not supposed to.) Initially, the first section of the memories section--Dad getting too worked up about young!frank wanting to drink something pink--was going to come right before that, so there was a direct context--oh, he's remembering that while he pours. BUT--

that happened to work there, but i realized if i kept doing it like this i was going to be imposing something way too restrictive on the rest of the fic. i'd have to create each bad memory and then make the corresponding "present day" section relate to that memory and there'd be no way to make that happen naturally without seriously forcing some part of the story, and who wants that? this got me so stressed out especially as the (self-appointed) King of the Flashback that i wondered if i should just leave them out altogether. somehow i decided to write all of the flashbacks i would want to have in an entirely separate document, and then just write the "present" parts all at once, and then decide how i'd want to combine them.

2nd trivia point: because of this, this was one of the only fics in recent memory i've ever written relatively in order from start to finish. usually i write a beginning and an end and then fuck around in no order in the middle till it's done.

i can't quite remember what happened next, but i think i then did skip a bit to writing the end, and suddenly my mind wanted to develop something that came up earlier in the fic, at the beginning, where he refers to the feeling of something pursuing him. i think i meant that more in a vague sense at the time, and wasn't going to explore it, but (maybe something from @new-berry inspired me? possibly?) considering how fucked-up i wanted him to be at the end vs the beginning, and how coming out of a dissociative episode your relationship to yourself and to the world around you can be really wonky and fucked up--at least in my personal experience--i realized what if i could make that concept a lot more Real, and put in the imagery of a ghost in the room. but what kind of ghost? well, obviously not an uwu scary ghost, but you can come to your own conclusions as to what he thinks is "haunting" him.

this meant that i could write that last paragraph, which sincerely is one of my fav endings i've written in a long time, and as often happens when i write endings, the whole fic then made sense to me. and i realized instead of writing scattered memories and having frank's behavior in the present Escalated, i was going to drop the entire memories narrative into the fic in one big chunk, creating a story within a story, and have it be so all consuming that he completely loses track of what is happening. (which i feel like is an especially wild thing to do while you're having a Sexual Encounter and thus leaves mason rightfully disturbed--love me some Wretched Sex!!! sorry!)

i had a couple people tell me they completely forgot what was supposed to be happening while they were reading it, which made me so happy because that was what i wanted!

when i see this mf i see a dude who is so tormented and repressed and shaped by how he was treated as a kid. his dad made football his life so oppressively (in some ways) that he has, as he's said, no hobbies other than football and reading and now that football is no longer a good place for him there's just nothing left. add that to the fact that he clearly has never ever really healed from his mom's death in 2008 (and you can say a lot about his disingenuousness and lack of accountability as a coach, but the extended part about how he dealt with grief and loss on the diary of a ceo podcast was so fuckin real and it was a bit wild to see a famous person be so open) i feel like someone like this has a mind like a haunted house and can't quite go about things "normally." i wanted to create this feeling in the fic.

the best writing experiences turn into therapy sessions and when i was done writing i realized that i was expressing something about myself through it, which is how uncomfortable i feel in situations with a lot of very cishet expectations, as someone who is VERY not het and stealthily very not cis. i had already known this of course from conversations with coworkers, but this fic made me realize how much i fucking resent it--how much anger i feel toward it really--which was...interesting to learn about myself i guess.

anyway that's visited upon the sons for ya. i'm sure i left something out, but i feel sad that i'm no longer writing it, cause it was one of those experiences that make me think writing is fun. i always think writing is fun, but you know what i mean?

(footnote: my fic that i've been referring to as 'bitter mutual cheating' takes place around 2 months after this one, and it's from mason's POV and he reduces the whole upsetting experience to one line (Frank sounds panicked, and there’s only one other time that Mason can remember hearing him sound like this–that night with the West Ham jersey where Frank seemed to go kind of crazy and he had to tell the guys in the dressing room that it was his sister’s cat who had scratched the shit out of his back) which is just kind of a fun mindfuck for me. 7000+ words of agony but all mason even was aware of was...that, lol.)

(OH, i forgot! in the last line: Holding his Mason tight like it loves him, that word "like" is important. is he realizing--just for a moment--that his "love" for Mason is just kind of a placeholder for something else? someone else? we'll see...)

[depoteka]

my ranking and review of all eurovision 2023 songs

(don't expect any intellectual deep dives, i just tried articulating my feelings the best i could but it was hard bc i'm so lukewarm on so many songs. if the reviews don't make sense it's because i wrote them before i used the esc gerbear to sort the places hhh)

37. iceland: diljá - power

it definitely is a song that is competing in eurovision this year and i've listened to it. it doesn't make me feel anything so i don't know what to say. it's a fast pop song but i'm not even vibing to it :( i just don't like it

36. switzerland: remo forrer - watergun

oh switzerland, just because sad boy gjon worked in 2021 doesn't mean you need to keep sending sad boys now... a really boring attempt at an anti-war song

35. cyprus: andrew lambrou - break a broken heart

i don't think i'm really into men singing some heartbreak songs tbh i don't like those howls in the song and the rest sorta sounds imagine dragons-ish to me, the verses at least

34. greece: victor vernicos - what they say

it's cool that he's playing bass in the music video but the song isn't making me feel much. ain't gonna really talk shit about it bc the dude's just 16, i hope he has fun at eurovision

33. italy: marco mengoni - due vite

i like to think italy is my fave eurovision country and then they send a ballad….. i actually watched sanremo (tho i haven't seen any of the nights till the end bc i'm not that strong Yet) and marco wasn't my favourite at all, i was actually surprised how crazy the audience kept going whenever he was performing. of course i can see it getting some good result because it's a classic italian ballad. just not for me

32. ireland: wild youth - we are one

we've got u2 at home/the u2 at home:…. this song has the most generic love love peace peace lyrics ever and whatever unity they are singing about i don't want to be a part of it

31. poland: jann - gladiator blanka - solo

baybeh….it's kinda crazeh… allegedly it was a big radio hit before "winning" the preselections but imma be real with you, i'd never heard it before. it's a harmless pop song without any substance and if it was selected internally i'd be like meh but all the bullshit that went down at our national final makes me mad. i hope we flop hard

30. portugal: mimicat - ai coração

something about it to me feels like early 00s eurovision and i must admit, i don't really like it. though the performance in liverpool might be quite fun

29. romania: theodor andrei - d.g.t. (off and on)

the national final performance of this song is a state of mind. to be frank i feel like the esc fandom is overhating this song, it's not That bad. am i a fan of this song? no. would i like it to see it in the final with the same staging just for laughs? yes

28. israel: noa kirel - unicorn

israel i'm so sorry 0 points……. this song is a disjointed mess to my ears, i think it would've been better if they stuck to just one of the styles they used in this song. all the mentions of unicorns in this song make me cringe. not to mention the "you wanna see me dance?" bit which um, also makes me cringe. no problem with a dance break but why did she have to announce it like that out of nowhere. my favourite part of the song is probably the "u-ni-corn" chant at the very end but other than that eh. this song was written to make the staging crazy and exciting but as a song it doesn't work for me

27. azerbaijan: turalturanx - tell me more

brave of azerbaijan to send two dudes with their song that sound like it teleported itself from an early 00s shitty british movie. that rap part sounds like it's from a corporate song targeted at a young audience to idk make them stop smoking asdfadsf there's something endearing about this song tho

26. uk: mae muller - i wrote a song

i recognize that it's a step in the right direction for the uk and it's a rather fun song but tbh i just don't connect with it. i really liked sam last year and sadly in comparison mae's song seems quite weak to me. though i hope that the (de facto) host country curse doesn't work on the uk this year tho and they don't end up on the very end of the board

25. the netherlands: mia nicolai & dion cooper - burning daylight

ngl i forgot about this song after the first listen. i don't even know what to say about it really, it's just really underwhelming to me. i think i don't actively hate it but i also don't really like it

24. georgia: iru - echo

english grammar rules have left the chat. i'm baffled by the lyrics. but the song overall (along with the video) feels like something from outer space or the future. not in a crazy way tho. i think it has some potential

23. denmark: reiley - breaking my heart

bts are on hiatus so it's his time to shine. no but seriously, there's something so kpopy about this song? i defo like it more than the other "breaking heart" song this year but still. the dude gives me some uncanny valley feeling, especially considering he allegedly pretends to be 5 years younger than he actually is? i love eurovision drama

22. estonia: alika - bridges

we have very few true ballads this year but i think this one's ok!! not a ballad girl myself but i don't mind this one, i like her voice. gives me adele bond theme vibes. i've seen people say alika isn't really selling this song but i saw her national final performance and it seemed fine to me? not much you can really do when you're singing a ballad tbh

21. armenia: brunette - future lover

imma be real with you, i laughed out loud when i first listened to this song because of the lyrics. but i think the song is kinda nice anyway? not a fave but it's nice enough

20. malta: the busker - dance (our own party)

they got sax and in theory i should like it. but i'm not a fan. the whole "ooh i wanna stay at home in my sweater" shtick doesn't work for me. i can see why some people are vibing to this song but it's not doing it for me

19. sweden: loreen - tattoo

i'm a noted hater of sweden at eurovision so don't expect me to say anything nice hhhh the song is rather fine and loreen is fantastic but at the same time i feel like the entire song is just one idea repeated over and over without any sort of variation. her staging at melfest seems quite interesting but overall i don't think this has a potential to win? especially if the people watching in may remember euphoria. tattoo pales in comparison

18. san marino: piqued jacks - like an animal

hear me out………i don't hate this song. yes maybe it's cringe but somehow it keeps getting stuck in my head because it's catchy asdfasdfadsf i'm waiting for the studio version bc it's hard to properly judge it based on the shit sound mix at san marino nf

17. ukraine: tvorchi - heart of steel

was kinda surprised watching vidbir when this won! but then again ukraine keeps giving us different things constantly. i quite like this song but it's also too lowkey for me, nothing to go crazy about. still, it's a vibe

16. norway: alessandra - queen of the kings

ngl when i first heard the song i couldn't understand why people like it so much. now i enjoy it more but i wouldn't say it's a fave of mine? i can see it getting a good result though, there's something very eurovision about it

15. serbia: luke black - samo mi se spava

i feel like technically i should like this song but i….don't. i think the music itself is quite fun but…..the performance makes it seem like it was written for the netflix eurovision movie. something about this guy's voice bothers me. the nail to the coffin for me is the fact that the title of this song sounds close to "samo mi się spawa" in polish which means "it welds on its own for me" instead of "i just wanna sleep" which is what the title actually means 💀 i can't shake this association off and it doesn't help me like this song more

14. slovenia: joker out - carpe diem

at first i wasn't impressed but overall i think it's quite a fun indie/pop rock song!! and it's always nice to hear a native language instead of english

13. lithuania: monika lynkytė - stay

it's a pleasant song and the lithuanian bit is my fave part of the song. overall i don't mind it, but also i'm not crazy about it. sort of disappointed because i really loved sentimentai last year :(

12. belgium: gustaph - because of you

i haven't watched the belgian nf so i don't know what the other options were (that people are so mad about not winning) but i quite like this one!!! it's a bop, makes me wanna dance. i hope gustaph brings some voguing to liverpool

11. moldova: pasha parfeni - soarele şi luna

the only true folk influenced song we have this year, i like it!! it's a banger, it has some sort of flute going on, from what i've seen the lyrics refer to a folk legend? we love it

10. australia: voyager - promise

banger!! pleasantly surprised because i don't think i've ever really really liked any of australia's entries in the past. thought the random high note in the second verse is quite funny to me tbh asdasdfds

9. croatia: let 3 - mama ŠČ!

i think it's more of a whole package where the song doesn't really make full sense without the performance but in some strange way i enjoy the song anyway. the lyrics also are quite understandable in polish which probably also makes it easier for me (and i imagine other slavic people as well) to understand the message without feeling confused about what's going on

8. albania: albina & familja kelmendi - duje

the drama?? i love it. i saw somebody say it feels like a turkish telenovela and they've got a point. it makes me feel something (unlike some other entries) and i appreciate it. plus the instrumental absolutely fucks

7. spain: blanca paloma - eaea

when i first heard the song i didn't understand it at all. i feel like i still don't fully Get it but there's something so fascinating about it to me that i can't stop thinking about it. i'm so confused? but i think it means i enjoy it. definitely something i like more than slomo last year

6. germany: lord of the lost - blood & glitter

yell heah!! germany finally sending something worthwhile. i keep listening to this song on loop, i wanna twerk to it. love the combo of metal AND glitter <3

5. france: la zarra - évidemment

i already liked it at first listen and it keeps growing on me! not a big fan of chanson type of songs but this one is a banger + her look in the music video is gorgeous, i hope she keeps it for liverpool

4. czechia: vesna - my sister's crown

liked it before it was chosen at czechia's national final and was happy when they won but i kinda got bored of it after a month or so? i still think it's a good song (even tho i know people have some issues with it) and i love the mix of three different slavic languages. i think with the right staging they can win me back

3. latvia: sudden lights - aijā

OK OK… when i first heard it i was like ok. but then one evening i randomly found myself watching the moldovan nf and they were guests there and when they played their song in this shitty studio i was like omg it's actually really good?? obsessed with the lullaby bit at the end. i hope to god they qualify, they need to bring justice to latvia after citi zeni's nq last year

2. austria: teya & salena - who the hell is edgar?

what a surprise?? adored it at first listen. it both manages to be a bop while also trying to say something. i loved in corpore sano last year, i love who the hell is edgar this year

1. finland: käärijä - cha cha cha

what can i say......i usually don't really listen to any of the national final songs and just wait for the winner of each one but the thumbnail for cha cha cha music video on yt intrigued me so i watched it. and immediately i wanted käärijä to win eurovision weeks before he even won the finnish nf. the song is sooo addictive and his entire look/performance is hypnotizing. i know he's a favourite to win rn but if he somehow flops in may i'm gonna be really really sad. come on, it's crazy it's party. i think this finnish win would be a really fitting addition to lordi's win in 2006