#i'm just.... tired of being lonely and mentally ill. sigh.

[forest-hashira]

an irl hug from a tumblr mutual would fix me

[imhereforscm]

"Two different worlds" Part 5

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: My fingers are slipping from the sweat, omggggggggg I'm surprised I can still type anything lol. Btw I'm sorry for the slow updates on the series, my loves. But at least it's here now! I hope you enjoy!🎀🎀🎀 (I have a feeling I had something else to say as well, but I can't remember for the life of me. Anyway!—Oh! Yeah! I remembered! The headcanon that Tauxy Tauxy is a very light sleeper is from an anon! So credit goes to them😚❤️❤️)

You sneezed. You sneezed again.

"Here." Tauxolouve said softly, offering you a napkin.

"Thank you." You said, just as another sneeze came forth. How did you come to this point? Gods weren't supposed to get sick. But at least now you knew that the rumours of gods getting exceptionally tired on Earth was true.

Tauxolouve sighed and patted your head softly, before walking to his own chair in his art studio. "You shouldn't have walked in the rain like this."

"It was so warm and sunny just a day before, how should I have known it'd suddenly start pouring?" You said, your memories taking you back to your dance, beneath the rich fabrics of the golden hour and the melody of the birds. The mental images made you smile, even though, your head felt foggy and was aching for the first time in your very long life.

"Well, I can't force you to pose for me like this." He said and you looked down at your dress in guilt.

"I'm sorry." You said and your shoulders jumped as he walked up to you and curled his fingers beneath your chin, tilting your head upwards.

He smiled sweetly at you as he spoke. "I don't want to see my muse sad. So smile for me?"

'His muse'. You... Didn't hate that. A soft smile spread across your lips the more you repeated that word in your head, your stomach feeling a ticklish sensation, one that made you feel like a teenager again. How come a human man could tell you exactly the things that made your heart beat this way and gods—with supposedly more experience in the field of compliments and women—never could.

"Now that's what I like." His hand fell away from your chin and he offered you another napkin. "But..." His eyebrows furrowed a little in skepticism, as he looked into your face, which had lost most of its colour, due to the cold. "Being sick in a hotel room... I can't imagine worse."

You smiled at him, gently waving your hand at his direction, with the intent to ease his worries. "I'll be alright. Thank you so much for caring, though." After all, you were still not human. Therefore, your limits and needs were not the same.

And yet, he still didn't feel content with the situation. "You can come over to my house."

"Excuse me?" You asked, your eyelashes standing up in surprise.

"Oh!" Tauxolouve's face cracked into one of shock for a moment as well. "I didn't mean it in a weird way!" He rushed to explain himself, raising his hands before his chest defensively. "I just thought I could take care of you for the time being. Since you don't have any friends or family in Paris that is. Spending an illness inside a hotel room? Sounds a bit lonely."

Your lips parted a little, your reaction to his thoughtfulness, wordless. Tauxolouve never meant you harm or any ill intent, you knew that much. He only proposed the idea with your best interest at heart. "No, I'd be too much of a burden." You gently shook your head, declining.

"I beg to differ." He said. "I proposed the idea, because I can handle it and... I think it's a good way to thank you for modeling for me all those days... But I won't push it further! The decision is up to you and what you feel comfortable with!" Tauxolouve got up from his chair and pushed the packet with the napkins closer to you, across the table—which was now much more organised than the first time you came here—and reached for the pitcher, pouring tea into his cup. "Would you like some as well?" He offered, with a smile.

You didn't reply for a few moments, flipping around the potential decisions in your head. You trusted him. And looking at it from another perspective as well, you had no clue of human colds. How were you supposed to care for yourself at this rate? "Can I... Accept your offer?"

The two of you made your way to his house. He unlocked the door and stepped aside to open the way for you. "Ladies first." He said, his slanted eyes narrowing and bringing out his mature charm, through the dark gems he had for irises.

You smiled to yourself as you made your way inside. Physically, you weren't feeling at your best, but mentally, you felt so beautiful by his gentle treatment.

The atmosphere in the tiny house was warm and a welcoming aura filled the thin hallway. It wasn't just a house... It was a home. A true home, unlike most big and luxurious houses in the Heavens. You were always intrigued by humans' simplicity and getting this close to them made you love their way of living even more. You had relaxed so much into this peaceful house, that for a split second, you swore you could give up godhood to experience this warmth forever.

"Let me show you inside." Tauxolouve's voice snapped you out of your trance and you followed him inside, your eyes never growing tired from taking in all the things the faces of your world would call classless, pitiful or cheap.

Tauxolouve opened a door to a bedroom, with a single bed and a table beside the window, which overlooked into a street full of people walking off to their different lives. "Make yourself at home." Tauxolouve said and placed the keys on the beside table. "I'll leave the keys to this room's door and the outside door here, so you can feel safer. Anything you'd like to eat? Or anything you'd like to drink?"

You thought his question through, as you slipped into bed. "Do you have something warm? Anything."

"Of course, should I leave it a surprise?"

You nodded chuckling softly at his idea of a little game, as you soaked into the softness of the blanket.

Tauxolouve left the bedroom and you listened to his footsteps walking away, as you laid back onto the big pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

It all started as a vacation merely for sightseeing. And you ended up meeting Tauxolouve. Your heart raced a little at the memories of his thoughtful actions. He never made you uncomfortable nor feel unwelcomed. He always had manners towards you and treated you with gentleness and respect.

And thinking further back into the past, you've never been treated this way by a man before. You knew these feelings were wrong. You shouldn't have gotten so close, but what could you do? You couldn't possibly shut your heart even if you tried.

"And behold..." Tauxolouve's voice emerged from down the hallway and he entered the room, holding something, hidden beneath a towel. He placed it on the beside table and pulled the towel off. "Voila!"

Your eyes widened and you smiled with great interest at the chocolate steaming in the mug.

"What a cute face." He commented, chuckling a little, affectionately.

"This looks delicious." You said in awe, taking notice of the marshmallows placed on the plate beneath the mug. You remember Aigonorus telling you about these, but you never actually had the chance to try some, since he always let you know he got himself some after he had eaten all of them. You laughed at the thought of him.

"What is it?"

You took a marshmallow between your fingers and looked up at Tauxolouve. "I have a friend who really likes these." You took the soft, tiny pillow into your mouth and its sugary taste coated your tongue, making your eyes practically light up at the delicious taste. "Where had these been all my life?" You said to yourself, looking down at the rest of the marshmallows.

"Wait, you've never had marshmallows before?" Tauxolouve said, a little surprised.

"No, it's thanks to you I'm trying some for the first time." You said with a big grin, as you ate another one.

"Thanks to me?" Tauxolouve's smile became mature and you found yourself swallowing thickly at the sight of it. "I'm flattered by the way you worded that."

Your cheeks warmed up and not knowing what else to do under Tauxolouve's sensual gaze, you pulled the blanket higher, covering your cheeks with it. "I didn't mean it like that."

He laughed and approached you, stroking your beautiful hair gently. "I know. I was only joking. Now now..." He said, clasping his hands in front of him. "I will give you some peace and alone time. Feel free to do as you please."

It didn't take long after you finished your hot chocolate for your eyes to close, your eyelashes resting on top of your cheeks. Sleepiness was an odd feeling, but you didn't mind it and allowed it to overtake you, cradling you in its cloudy arms.

The sleepy veil, Hypnos draped across your eyelids fell after a few hours and you shifted around the bed, until you could process your surroundings again.

You sat up and rubbed your eyelids, your eyebrows rising, still a little sleepily, at the man kneeling beside the bed and sleeping onto his folded arms, which held him up on the bed.

The room was dipped in silence, giving you enough peace to listen to Tauxolouve's slow beaths. His lips were parted slightly and his sleeping face seemed so calm, that you couldn't help finding it cute and precious.

A single strand of hair had fallen from its slicked back state and into his face, which seemed too porcelain in your eyes to belong to a human.

Quietly and gently, you reached out a hand towards him and tucked the dark strand behind his hair.

Tauxolouve's eyelids squinted and opened slowly, revealing his deep eyes, still unfocused from their slumber.

"Oh, Heav—my... My god!" You said, fixing your little slip, which wasn't too big, but you still wanted to be sure your identity was completely hidden. "I'm so sorry for waking you up. I was trying to be as gentle as I could."

"Don't fret. I'm just a very light sleeper." He smiled softly at you and rose to his full height, before taking a seat on the bed.

"Also... Why were you sleeping on the floor?" You asked, confused. Did humans enjoy floors so much? And why have you never heard of that before? What is Karno hiding from you?

"I came to check on you and I noticed you had a fever, so I stayed by your side, waiting for your temperature to cool down again, but... Uhm..." He looked down at his hands, a terribly faint hint of embarrassment showing on his face. "It seems to me that I fell asleep."

You laughed softly and looking into his beautiful face as he yawned, you identified something in your heart, that was both a gift and a curse in your case.

You were in love with the very person you weren't supposed to fall in love with...

[umaruwastaken]

I wont leave you, I'm sorry. [short fluff & angst]

: hi, I'm Umaru! im very new to Tumblr and still don't know my way around the app, im pretty sure im missing something with the editing so if you have tips please do tell me :], enjoy!

Synopsis; Clay had announced his relationship with his partner,it was well until you received severe hate, clay was keeping in the anger and accidentally let it out on you.

!!TW!!:Shouting, cursing, panic attack.

↱💚Dream💚↰

→ You tucked your hair out of your face, staring intently in the ceiling... this week isn't the best week for you and your boyfriend.

everything started when he had told his fans about you and you guys' relationship, some were happy and supportive while others didn't take it too well, they were raging... you had received hate and death threats, you tried to remain calm and ignore it convincing yourself that they will forget about it in the next few weeks, but to your dismay, things have been worse, not just with clay's fans but with you two as well.

In the first weeks of getting severe hate, he was there and ready to shower you with comfort and affection, but he suddenly got too busy which makes you feel lonely, but of course you didn't wanna intrude with his career so you let him be, constantly trying to keep the relationship going through a lot of fights have occurred, it started getting worse where you won't even talk to each other without arguing... it was frustrating, but now you had decided that you wanna talk things out with him and fix the mess you both had created.

You're currently waiting in your room, clay's still streaming and have been extremely loud, you missed your chill days with him where you'd just cuddle and whisper soothing words to each other's ear but you haven't talked for the past days and if you do it'll just end up to an argument, You stood up from your bed figuring that he would end stream soon, so you decided to wait in the living room.

_------_------_

After a solid two hours, you had grown impatient, he hadn't left his room though you well know that he had ended his stream since you were watching it...

you sighed finally having the courage to scurry to his room with slight disappointment written on your face...

you had started making dinner and finished.

you knocked three times, waiting expectantly for an answer and receiving none... you knocked again and voiced out this time.

"Clay, dinner's ready," you mutter having hopes that he will answer this time.

sighing once again, you opened the door to see him faced in front of his setup, talking to his friends... he looked over your way with no expression.

"what?" he asked, coming out a little bit too rude for your liking despite waiting for him for 2 hours straight, you decided to be kind and not match his temper for today.

"dinner's ready" you softly mumbled at him.

he turned back to his computer "you go eat, ill come down later." he said before unmuting his mic to talk with sapnap and George once more.

"But, it's been hours and you haven't turned that pc off, you need to eat." he clearly heard your complaint but still chose to ignore you.

"Are you seriously going to ignore me, clay? come on, just this time eat with me," you whined.

"[name], just go... I said ill go down later, eat first." that was his response to your whine, your frown grew deeper as your patience starting to wear off.

"clay! just turn that off and eat."

"I said ill be eating later, go now," he said with a slight hint of annoyance, you can tell that he was running out of patience too... you were too exhausted and just wanted the hugs your boyfriend used to give you, but that computer was your rival, A COMPUTER.

"No, clay, your eyes need to re-"

"can you just shut the f*ck up and go eat for God's sake??! how many times do I have to tell you??! [name] stop being a brat and leave me the f*ck alone!!!"

At this point, you were holding back tears, you were very sensitive with yelling, you had heard something from his pc.

"what the fuck dream?" you heard a familiar voice, which was George.

you sniffled and tried to hold back tears as you wiped those who escaped. "ok... ill go, I'm sorry" you said quietly, taking your leave from his room, as soon as he was out of sight, you sprinted to your room and cried... you tried holding your mouth hoping for the sobs to not be as loud... the voices in your head started speaking.

'he hates you now'

'he'll leave like everyone'

'you were too annoying and clingy'

'he doesn't love you anymore'

'he's tired of you, brat'

she tried stopping them by pulling her hair, starting to have a panic attack.

_________

On the other hand, dream stood in his room functioning what had just happened, you two fought but none ever raised voices nor insulted you like that... he was shocked and shaking as tears threatened to fall from his eyes still hearing his friends nagging.

they had heard everything.

his body trembled thinking that you probably hate him now.

without thinking twice he left the call with nick and George before running out of his room towards yours.

he tried to twist the knob of course its locked, he knocked.

"[name]? baby? please let me in, I'm sorry, I meant nothing of those words! baby? open the door, love... [name] I'm sorry! open the door"

he stopped mid-way hearing her muffled sobs and whimpers.

he started to panic, he went away and grabbed his spare key to your room and frantically opened the door to see you silently crying on the ground, hugging your knees.

he knew how you reacted when a person yells at you, he knew damn well that you were sensitive yet he had failed to take care of you, his mind was full of regret.

tears started falling from his eyes, seeing how much he had hurt you, he was frustrated about the hate and the constant blackmails about being doxxed and shit.

He quickly went towards you and hugged you, he picked you up and sat on the bed with you on his lap.

"Baby, I'm so sorry!" he hugged you tighter rubbing circles on your back.

"I'm a jerk, [name] I'm sorry" he continued kissing the top of your head and held your face to try and face you.

he had seen your face that was stained with tears with a hurtful expression on your face.

"I hate you" you mumbled "I just wanted you to eat, that all" she cried

"I know, I'm sorry baby, I was just stressed... I was frustrated that the hate will make you leave me I'm so sorry!" he explained kissing your forehead, and wiping the tears off your face.

he rested your head on his chest whispering sorry all over and over again, you had stopped the tears and now you have a runny nose

"ill never do that again, [name], I love you... we'll face the haters and continue loving each other, ok? I'm still very sorry, so to make it up to you, we'll spend two days, cuddling! just us, I promise"

he said laying the two of you on your bed. he caressed your cheeks and kissed your nose before moving towards your lips.

"I love you, I love you, I love you" he muttered all over and over kissing every part of your face.

he sighed contently taking a mental note

'must not shout at baby, must protect baby'

[cyborg-franky]

Saw you did emergency requests.

I know you get a lot of these, feel free to ignore because I don't wanna burden you with anything.

If you wanna do it, here's my conditions in the request.

Ace x female Reader - Ace comforts reader who has a mental breakdown. I just want cuddles and kisses from someone I love so much.

Things I'd like to be included (you don't have to this is just to make it more personal)

- I have an emotional breakdown constantly

- I procrastinate too much that my grades are terrible.

- I'm always the therapist friend my no one ever helps me or indulges in my interests, so I end up feeling like trash as I sit there and listen to everyone else's lives.

- Too many toxic friends to count.

- I'm super lonely.

- I just wish I wasn't here. (Not in a suicide way just wanna hibernate for a while)

- my parents don't really believe I have mental illnesses.

- still suffer from bereavement because my therapist said my problems don't matter.

Sorry if this is too much. I love you Franky and I hope you look after yourself. You're amazing and deserve the world!

I have been there too many times myself my dear. I know how awful that is and I hope this helps you feel some comfort. I'm sorry this is a little later then I normally do them. If you need to vent you can reach out <3 and thank you for kind words, I love you toooo

Ace x F!Reader SFW Modern AU

- You were tired, burnt out, your mental health caused you to procrastinate too much and then it added to the growing list of issues that weighed down on you. - Ace watched as you typed away at your phone every night always being the one that people came to when they needed help, he noticed it was never the same way. - Your parents refused to believe you had problems, he didn't like your parents, it's why he always made you come and stay over his apartment when he could tell you were having an extra bad time. - When your so called friends weren't texting you about all their problems they were no where to be seen. He hated them too. - He'd suggested getting rid of them, you didn't need that toxicity in your life but you claimed you needed them, didn't want to feel alone. ---

You had been sat down next to him on the sofa, half watching a movie with him as you once again listened to your friend going on about something, they didn’t even ask how you were before the launched into their problems. You set down your phone, staring blankly at the TV, taking nothing in as you stared.

There was too much bubbling up, that was the last straw. Ace snapped his attention to you when you let out a cry. Tears running fast and free ad you absolutely broke apart before his eyes. His first reaction was panic, he wasn’t ever good at his own emotions let alone someone else’s.

You shook your head when he reached out to you, crying harder when he tried to pull you closer, you didn’t want to be a burden to Ace, didn’t want to show you had problems too. Ace, however, wasn’t giving up. He pulled you against him, strong arms holding you to his chest.

“Shhh shh, I got you, I got you” He repeated over and over in a soft tone, he patted your back, rubbing circles, rocking you ever so gently, his chin rested on top of your head, holding you so tightly. Letting you cry, letting you get everything out.

“I’m here” he said, firm, comforting.

“Those people don’t deserve you, your so kind, perfect, I know you think you’ll be alone, but you won’t” Ace sighed, seeing you pull away to look at him with those tear filled eyes.

“I’ll never leave you” He kissed your forehead, letting you just be.

“I love you Ace” you mumbled and kissed his chin, he moved so you could give him a soft kiss on the lips. “I love you too”

[yubiina]

Ma Muse

Jake x reader

warnning: mental illness, mentions of blood and death, Jake being Jake.

i sugest u listen to this while reading, it goes well with the story. Enjoy.

https://youtu.be/vQe5lWNxxXo

.

.

.

 ‘Regret has always been a strong emotion. The way it rips through one's heart without mercy, reminding you of your foolish decisions over and over again.'

The dust flew off the old wooden panels as they cracked under the dirty shoes that walked towards the main entrance. The sunset shone through the abandoned apartment floor, its foundation decaying and walls chipped off.

 Shutting the main entrance door the sound of water echoed through the bathroom.

 ' Reminding you of what you could've done better, how you wished to turn back time and change everything, wanting to be anywhere but the present '

'regret surely plays both sides of the fence'

The cold water washed down the blood and grime off scarred, tired hands. With a sigh, he headed towards the main entry once again.

The black, duffle bag was thrown to the ground, the impact causing the dust to fly everywhere, now visible from the sunlight, 

'And the fear of regret prevents people from foolish mistakes that lead them to a path of trouble they don't wish to go through'

'But I don't feel regret'

Turning on the radio, music echoed through the empty halls. Dragging the old wooden stool from the corner of the room he sat down, meeting the white canvas before him, relaxed and focused.

' Because my heart was occupied by much more complicated feelings than regret. Something I can't quite find yet'

the red tainted paintbrush dragged across the white canvas, excess dripping down to the bottom. 

i feel like I'm missing something'

Dragging the brush faster and harsher he continued, tapping his heel.

' have you never found yourself in the same situation? Searching for something that you still find unknown, but you long to, one day, finally claim as yours?'

With a low hum, he slowed down, eyes scanning every detail of his work, carefully studying for any sort of flaw.

'something you're unsure even exists, but you follow through life blindly hoping to one day reach what you believe have to witness.

What you know can't be filled by simple, materialistic pleasures.'

Dipping his brush in black he continued as he had previously.

'An event, a feeling, a person. I search for that missing piece every day.

' And today, like every other, I search for what I'm yearning for

" Can you be sure Alan won't be a problem?" a soft voice spoke through the phone. 

With a soft smile, his gaze never left the painting while he lowered the black brush, paint tainting his inner thigh leaving a small spot.

" do you not trust me?" he calmly asks. Lifting his brush he studied it with bored eyes

" no, it's not that," you said in rush. " I just don't want any of the group to be in trouble. You know how I get" flopping on ur bed and staring at your ceiling in deep thought, worry piling up in your gut. There had been numerous missing people from Duskwood, both those close to Hannah and those who had no connection whatsoever in her life.

After Richy's death, Jessy and Thomas's missing cases, the rest of the group was hesitant to keep going with the investigation.

"oh I know," he teased you. Continuing his work, the paintbrush caressed every surface of the canvas.

' Whenever I think I've found what I've been searching for what I've been looking for, it escapes my grasp. It makes me livid, it makes me lonely. Have you ever felt like that'

" thank you, Jake. I don't say it enough, but I hope you know how grateful I am, for keeping me and the rest of the group safe" you smiled through the phone. 

'who am I kidding. Of course, you have'

Jake grinned but his expression didn't match his eyes.

" of course Y\N, anytime"

'To me, it doesn't matter what I have to do to find what I need. Or who I need. I lost that human limit a long time ago

'And when I don't find what I'm looking for, suddenly everything gets out of hand'

' I wonder for how long I'll continue this. How long I'll have to chase something unknown.'

Turning his head slowly to his left, he faced the wall and smiled. 

The papers and other works of art all glue and clipped together filled the wall, all portraits of unknown people, drawn in detail, everything clear but their eyes, they were anonymous and scratched out. 

'but maybe I'm not chasing'

'maybe I've just found a new cure to my loneliness 

 Grabbing the duffle bag and throwing it near a sink attached to the wall, he unzipped it harshly and turning the water, the sink filled with deep red, quickly washed off as he began scrubbing.

'But now, I think I've finally found what I longed for. For who I longed for, for so, so long. I'd be a fool to let it go'

With delicate hands he carefully placed the painted canvas in the middle of the wall, surrounded by other smaller sketches of unknown people. 

' it's mine, mine, mine, mine, all mine and only mine.'

The portrait of a person, their H\C placed perfectly framing their face, their lips drew into a small curve of a smile. And the most detailed feature, the shinning E\C, fresh paint still slightly dripping down from them into their cheeks. The black paint mixed with thick red lines.

'For what was mine from the beginning, will stay mine until the end’

" Oh Y\N" Jake sighed, looking up at the painting with a grin, music still playing from the old radio, reaching every cold room, he swayed the cooling glass of red wine in his hand that he occasionally sipped.

'And now that I found it, may God help anyone that comes between us’

'' If only you could see what you've gotten yourself into"

( I hope u all enjoyed Ma Muse! Here's a little short teaser I made of it. It's like 8sec🧍 but I managed to portray what I wanted)

[nightmar6ss]

Dream Boy | one

summary: lee minho can't sleep and one day finally decides to take sleeping pills only to meet someone who will completely change his monotonous life.

word count: 753

pairing: lee minho x han jisung

warnings: mentions of death, sleeping problems and mental illness (depression).

"What's your definition of soulmates?" the long haired boy looked curiously to his right, where minho's desk was placed and raised his eyebrows in anticipation.

"Soulmates? Personally, I think it's someone you can feel connected with you know? Someone you can be yourself around" Minho let out a soft giggle and stared at his computer screen, mind completely blank and not being able to think of what to write next.

Hyunjin's lips curved into a smile and nodded, satisfied with his colleague's answer.

"Anyways, what are you writing? You look lost" the boy said and proceeded to get up, slowly walking to the printer.

"I'm trying to come up with ideas for a new novel but i'm stuck, ugh" minho sighed and tiredly laid his head on his desk as the long haired male scanned the older's face.

"What is it about? I can help you know!" Hyunjin smiled cheekily and took some freshly written papers out of the printer.

"Two people falling in love, how can I write about something I'm not familiar with? I always wrote horror novels and everyone loved them but now my readers want something to relate to and that is love. Hyunjin tell me, how can I write about love when I've never been in love?" he sighed again and closed his eyes, trying to think of something but still nothing.

"Love? I can help with that.." Hyunjin bit his bottom lip and looked away from the befuddled boy.

"How exactly? Are you gonna introduce me to a girl or something?" He laughed, his teeth showing as Hyunjin softly slapped the back of Minho's head.

The man quietly winced but still kept laughing.

"No, dumbass. You have to find love yourself, otherwise it won't work" the younger massaged his temples and pointed at the bunny looking man.

"Just fall in love with me instead" he said half jokingly.

"Ayy how can you say that, you're my best friend I can't do that" minho said and picked his things up from his desk.

"Anyways, it's 5pm, I better get going home hm."

"Yeah you're right.. Have a good day Minho" he smiled half-heartedly and turned to face his screen.

"See you later, cutie" Minho laughed as the younger rolled his eyes and exited the door with a smile on his face.

His smile soon faded when he realised he had to return to his cold apartment. He was tired of being lonely, he was tired of not being able to love someone properly. He wanted to feel warm inside, he wanted to find his home.

He walked in the streets of Seoul, the cold wind soon hitting his face. He waited for the red light to turn green so he could walk across the crosswalk as he curiously looked around him.

So many people around him yet he felt completely lost. He looked over at a father with his daughter next to him, the kid sweetly smiled at Minho as he waved back at her.

He started walking across the street as he sighed once again, but then he felt someone bumping on him. The other person fell on the ground and winced in pain, squeezing his eyes shut. Minho's eyes widened quickly pulling the smaller boy up.

"I'm so sorry I didn't see you-" Minho was cut off by the boy's laugh.

"Oh it's okay it was my fault anyways, don't worry about it!" he smiled brightly and waves his hands in front of the taller man in front of him.

"Ah, okay. By the way what's your na-"

"Han Jisung get your ass here we don't have much time left you airhead" Minho was cut off by a loud voice shouting at the small boy.

"Seungmin stop embarrassing me" the boy named 'Han Jisung' cried out at the cute boy some meters away from him and Minho and hid his face in his hands.

Minho tried to hide his smile, internally thanking himself for bumping onto the adorable young man.

Unfortunately for him, the boy run towards his friend without giving him his number. Minho turned around and saw multiple cars honking at him to pass the street already. He cursed at a driver who threatened to run him over and walked across the crosswalk with a frown on his pretty lips.

"I need a warm shower after all this."

[jaehyunsuh]

trust

—pairing: idol! Taeyong x reader

—genre: au/ fluff/ boyfriend! Taeyong

—words count: + 1k

summary: for a long time you have felt pretty lonely and sad, yes you have friends and stuff but they always are making comments that make you feel upset or uncomfortable and sometimes they don't even seem to care about what you think or say. In university some people are really nice but the majority just use you since you are so kind to everyone, you don't want to change your personality since you know it's better to help people and be nice rather then treat them like sh*t. You just need a friend, someone you can trust and tell your problems to, hopefully you will find it soon. You could talk to your boyfriend Taeyong but he is already so stressed with his idol life, that is enough to him.

today you were able to get out early from your job so you decide to walk home, so like that you can explore the city, look at the the people, breathe fresh air and clear your mind a bit. You usually take a taxi or something because you are tired but it's 4pm and the weather it's nice so it seems like a good day to go for a walk.

lately you have felt pretty lonely, people lately hasn't been the best to you lately, since you are so smart and offer to help people when you say no they start telling you mean stuff and are so stupid, you really don't mind about people's comments or anything but having no one to talk to makes you overthink stuff, by luck you distract yourself cooking, painting and working so like that it doesn't affect your mental health.

Taeyong is the best boyfriend you could ask for but you are used to be the one who gives him advices and makes him feel better since he is constantly under stress, so you decide not to overwhelming with your problems and keep them to yourself.

you walk past a buddhist temple you have seen before but never were curious of walking, you have never been really religious or anything but  today you felt like visiting it, those structures were big, beautiful and amazing, it truly left you impressed. You walk and see some tourists looking outside the place, you are able to see the inside if you are quiet and respectful, so you decide to climb the stairs. You see a boy bowing at the giant Buda figure inside the temple, it was really beautiful and breathtaking, he gets up and walks to the entrance were you are standing. 

"Uhm excuse me." You say reaching to the boy. He looks at you scared and kind flinches. You looked at him confused.

"I'm really curious about this religion and i have never knew anything about it, so would you mind to tell me a little bit about this?." The boy's body relax a little bit looks at you up and down 

"My name is y/n by the way." You extent his hand to him and he shakes it. 

"I'm Daniel." He gives a sweet smile. He tells you to see somewhere around the temple so he can talk better to you.

"Well i don't really consider myself religious but buddhism sees life as a process of constant change, and its practices aim to take advantage of that. It means that one can change for the better."

"Wow, that's really beautiful." You say impressed.

"Yes, it's good! Also they practise meditation, which is a way of developing more positive states of mind that are characterised by calm, concentration, awareness, and emotions. Using the awareness developed in meditation it is possible to have a fuller understanding of oneself, other people, and of life itself." He explains.

"It really sound fascinating, how did you get into it?" You never knew there was a religion that teach such necessary and important things like those.

"Well my parents are buddhists so I've been into it since i was young. Like i said i was never really into it but since I'm 18 I've always need something to keep me mentally stable and help me relax so i started coming here often." He gives a kind smile.

"That's really cool, I'm glad you found something that gives you peace, that's really what i need right now." You sigh.

"Well if you are not into religion you can do yoga, start meditating by yourself or you can talk to me!" He suddenly changes and starts being more open and friendly.

"Thank you, you are so nice. I think ill take all three." You laugh.

you continue to talk about your stuff and you tell him all the things that you have been feeling lately, he gave you some advices here and there about how to distract yourself from those negative thoughts and move on from this toxic people. You feel so thankful that this total stranger it's actually listening to you and being interested in what you have to say. You talked about college, your job, the music you're into and how you how much you love painting and cooking.

"Well, thank you so much for telling me about this, i found it pretty interesting."

you decided to exchange numbers and talk with each other, he said that every time he could go to the buddhist temple he will meet you outside and talk to you and maybe go and eat something. You have been seeing each other for around one month now and it has really helped your mental state, he teach you some breathing excercises that helped your anxiety and tried to meet a couple timed at week to do yoga.

Taeyong's POV

y/n has been kinda weird lately, she doesn't talks or says any important stuff to him anymore, she just talks about college stuff and the netflix show she is watching, also she goes out almost everyday and comes back later at afternoon, so it is making him Taeyong worried if she is seeing someone else. He doesn't want to sound mean or anything but he knows y/n doesn't has friends anymore, just the ones back in her country, but here in Seoul many people has been fake, treat her bad and been fake because she is dating and idol. He tries not to overthink and keep trusting his girlfriend.

"Hey Tae, we need to talk to you." Johnny says.

"Okay?"

"Hyung, y/n has been kinda weird lately she doesn't even wants to talk to us that much." Jaehyun sits down in the couch.

"We all talked and we wanted to tlwt you know that our friends and their friends have seen y/n hanging around with some guy." Taeil says. Taeyong looks shocked and like it's about to cry.

"We didn't believe it until Mark told us what he saw today." Taeil continues.

"What did you saw?" Taeyong takes a deep breath and close his eyes.

"I was walking around the Han River and i saw them sitting around there." Mark says upset. Taeyong close his hands frustrated.

"But look, we aren't saying she is cheating, maybe it's her collage partner or something." Jaehyun says trying to make his friend happy.

"Yes, and when i saw them they weren't holding hands and not even were so close to each other."

"Bro, she loves you and instead of thinking about breaking up ask her if there is something else making her distracted." Yuta pats his friends back. 

Taeyong grabs his jacket and makes his way to y/n's apartment, he calls 3 times and she doesn't picks up which makes him worried since he is thinking about all the things that member said.

Y/n's POV

you are in the living room watching some tv when you hear Taeyong open the door.

"Y/n we need to talk." He looks like he was crying and you wonder what happened to him.

"Yes, what happened babe?." 

"Y/n, you don't love me anymore? Are you cheating on me?" He ask straight up.

"No, Taeyong, what the hell? How could i ever cheat on you. You are the person i love the most." You say slightly frustrated.

"Some people are talking about you hanging out with another guy and even Mark saw you with him the other day, and the fact that you have been so quiet and don't even talk to me that much anymore, so i think I'm convinced it may be truth." He sits down and takes a deep breath trying not to look at you. Your heart breaks at seeing him like this, you know the truth and if you tell him he is gonna still feel upset.

"Taeyong listen to me, this guy is a buddhist, a met him the other day when i walked around the temple, he explained me that it helps you relax and control your emotions, i told him that i was going through a tought time and he decide to help me. He teach me how to meditate, breathing exercises and we do yoga almost every afternoon. It has helped me a lot with my stress. And that's it, he is just a friend, there is not any other relationship between us and if you want to talk to him or something I'm sire you would be more convinced." You say while holding his hands.

"And why didn't you told me about this?" He looks at you sad.

"I love you more than anything else in the world, you known i can help you and that you can talk to me about anything." He looks at you.

"Tae i know, but I'm always the strong one that is comforting you, making you feel okay and helping you. I know you have been through a lot lately and i didn't wanted to bother you with my problems while you have your owns. I'm sorry." You look at the the floor disappointed at yourself.

he grabs your lower back and pulls you into a kiss. You feel safe and peaceful again in between his arms and lips. He kisses you softly making your feel better than before and taking all your worries away. 

"You can always trust me, okay?" Taeyong kisses your forehead.

"From now on, let's promise to trust each other anytime, and talk about every single thing that is bothering us. We are stronger together."

"I love you." You hug him.

"I love you too." He leaves another kiss on your forehead.

[kimtaetae16ii]

STORY OF US - DONGHYUCK LEE

Synopsis : in which the elderly knew about your hidden relationship and make you guys broke apart and at the end he came back to fix it all while you were struggling with depression

Warnings : mental illness, mental abuse, violent, light-smut,using curse words alots, easy English grammar XP too cringy, too clingy, might cause frustration

Pairing : Donghyuck x reader (n ur name is Jeannie Pwark)

A/n : this is my first fanfiction of him ever! So yeah those senpai who sees mistakes in my writing do chat me about tht .

_________________________________________

You and Donghyuck had been in relationship for almost 2 years. You were homeschooled back then so did he too. Both of you got same teacher for English subject even for different places. So, to make it easy, the teacher made group chat on WhatsApp so that if anything inconvenient happened she will inform you guys through there. There's many students in there too but Donghyuck attracted your attention. You were the one who started the conversation with him.

He, in the first place actually  dislike you for being too friendly with him and others. He used to hate you too. He hate you for nothing. He thought that you were friendly bitch of no where. Also he was being insecure because he afraid you might be a gold digger to dig all of his family's assets all away. But then, you've proven to him that you are an angel with pure heart so you just being kind towards him until he finally fell on you. Your first-sight crush finally fell on you.

You both lived in rich residents as your father is working as successful businessman while your mother is a successful lawyer in the city of Seoul. Then, both of his parents work in their own business that the profit so fucking higher than Trumph.

done throwback session.

[ Saturday, 1:37 a.m.]

You couldn't close your eyes yet as you already drove in long 9 hours sleep in the late evening. Then you woke at 9 p.m. It just after you woke up, you receive 16 missed calls from him andthe spamming chat is uncountable. Then, you guys been in an arguments which caused he was being mad while you were being sulking.

The clock showed it was almost 2 a.m. and you still cannot close your eyes. The feelings are coming. You want him. You want him to sing you to sleep with his angelic voice. You want his warmth body heated your body so you won't get cold while sleeping in air-conditioner.

then, with feeling guilty you tapped on the number on the light screen after that you pressed the phone on your left ear. hoping he would not be mad at your anymore.

after 30 seconds, he finally picked your call.

"what's the matter now. You disturb my sleep"

his words really hurt your feelings like he unwilingly to answer your phone call but he did anyway.

Donghyuck is not a person who sleep early actually. He's been an owl just want to make sure you are the one who get beauty sleep before him.

"I cannot sleep. will you come over? please ~" you begged him because this is the way for both of you to be peace once again. You need him.

you've heard he sighed.

"i've told you for countless time to not sleep in the late evening or else this will happen. Y/n , you really need good health."

that's why i'm asking you to come over so that my depression will be cured.

"okay. i won't disturb. just continue to sleep. sorry." you end the calls made decision to throw the phone away onto the hard floor.

you hate yourself like the way he used to hate you. you knew who you are. you know how annoying you are how much burden you gave to people surround you especially your family. and because of that, you less attention from them. that's why you need haechan. he's right person to be but not right for you.

You curled up while sitting while buried your face in your lap. Tears finally streaming down on your cheeks.

i hate me. i want to die so bad.

you felt sorry for Haechan to waste his time just for you. you give him nothing in return.

you've been crying so bad that make your body shaking while you mumbling all curse words about how bad you want to die.

Suddenly, you felt hands brushed your hairs from back. When you lifted your face, you saw your precious boyfriend right in front of you. your heart ache but in the same it healed when he pulled you into his arms.

"Haechan-ah~" you called him.

"yes, sweetheart" he replied while pat your back softly like you're a new born baby.

"you still mad at me ?" you broke the hug and faced him looked into his shining eyes.

"Sweetheart, we're good now. do not be overthinking , okay. You'll be fine." he pulled you into hug again then he sang you to sleep.

You fell asleep in his neck then, he changed the position. He laid you down carefully place your head on the soft pillow then he laid next to you.

" sleep tight, Lee's "

[Saturday, 6:40 a.m.]

At the time you woke up, you were left with his fresh cologne on your bed sheets. Your morning felt so good.

you pressed the circled button of your iPhone , then you noticed he leaved you mesage in your personal chatroom saying

'sweetheart, i'm going home. Have a great journey to your grandmother house. XOXO '- 5.35 a.m.

You got big smiled there. You changed the position to sit then after few minutes, you went into the bathroom to wash yourself.

Then, after you already settle up yourself, you went the downstairs and enter the kitchen to get breakfast.

then your 7 years old greeted you.

"hey y/n, i saw man walking out from your room when i want to go to toilet this morning."

you hurriedly cover your little sister's mouth before anybody in this house heard her wrods.

"shhh . don't tell mama"

"mama was with me."

loud of laugh then.

_________________________________________

The way to your grandmother's house was very tiring even you were not the one who drive the car but like you've been stopped at rest area so often plus the weather was very hot for you.

Once you arrived at your grandmother's house, you guys were greeted by the the maids. Then they lead you to the living room. There, finally you met your grandma.

"Heeeyyy ,Oh My granddaughters! Miss both of you so bad !"

Grandma opened her arms as she welcomed us to hug her so we running along until we got into her hug. She kissed our top of head also our cheeks.

"How you've been, Nana?" I asked her while sitting next to her on the couch that made by  animal's skin.

"I'm great!  I just missed you guys so so much!

Kyaa~ Haneul yah!  Why don't you often bring them here? You also didn't always visit me. You know I've been so lonely after the death of your father! "

Mama fixed her hairbun prepared herself to answer Nana's question.

"I'm sorry, Ma. I'm just busy with all my clients-"

"Fuck your clients!  Your mother is more important!"

"Ma, don't be like that. I promise you to visit you as often as needed after all of the cases settled up at the court."

"I don't care. I made decision."

"What decision, Nana? " I, hugged her right arms, looked into her eyes.

She looked at me for second then she turned to face mama back.

"I want both of my grandchild to stay with me"

My heart dropped down-

but my little sister cheered up as she like to be with nana just because nana fulfill her needs.

"Kyaa~" I pushed little bit her head bit getting scolded by my father.

"Park Jeannie!"

"Ma, but Jeannie would enter her university so soon. Also Jane gonna have her first homeschool session." My father suddenly exist in that situation.

"I insist. She can took over the chocolate company after she get her training months."

I saw fire in Nana's eyes. So did my parents too.

Yeah. Even they don't mind about me a lot but they seems won't lose me. like I stil need home cause it's not faraway from haechan.

"Nana-"

"Okay! Let's have our special meals!" She cut me deliberately.

"Yeaayyy.  Nana did you make my favourite Sandwich?"

"Of course, honeybun! Now let's go all of you."

-

At night.

"Fuck. I hate this." You groaned alone on the bed thinking how you would be without seeing your boyfriend for not a single day also after you moved into your grandmother's house soon.

You looked up at the white flower decorated ceiling and that things still wandered in your mind.

You didn't get any phone call from him yet for today. He has been busy with his schedule of being an idol.

He always available at middle of the night.

You turned on the screen then got into your personal chatroom with him.

Babe, I have something to say. Really important.

Sent, 12:32 a.m.

You only got one tick from him. So you just decided to go to sleep even you didnt use to sleep at early bed.

[1:40 a.m.]

You can felt something was vibrating in your hand as you held your phone while you drove to sleep. That's make you woke up in the middle of the night.

Without seeing whose the caller, you answered just like that.

"Heelo sweetheart. Already asleep."

"I can't sleep unless I heard your voices, you know."

"Awwwwww~ so sweet talker."

"Shut up. How was your day during the show?"

"So tired but not full enjoyed."

The atmosphere suddenly turned into serious.

"Whyy babe, are you sick while performing?" You were afraid as he worked too hard just to present great performance to gis beloved fans.

"No. I'm not sick. I'm fine thank you."

"Then what?"

"I'm not enjoy it much as you're not here watching my performance with the members."

You dumbfounded.

"Are you serious, bang-chan?"

Bang-chan means side dishes in Korean.

"Hahahahahaha" you heard him laughed so loudly. You just brought that up again because you watched one of the vlive that Jeno called him Bang-chan when he introduced himself.

Then, you also laughed but not that as hard-core as him.

"Are you done, baby?" You asked him after you heard silent voices.

"N-no" his giggles still there.

"Hahahh, i want to see you so bad right now. But i cant As the network is not giving cooperation with me. So, yeah~ "

"So, you feel like you want to go home?" He asked.

"Yes of course. Home is everything." You looked out the glass window. Spontaneous thought came in.

"Am I your everything too?" He snapped you out by his question.

It took several seconds to reply that.

"Lee donghyuck, you are my last destiny after the world end its life."

"Wahh~" at the end of his word, his soothing voice made you melt.

"Go to sleep now , babe. You tired i know that."

"Love you 3000" you added.

"Love you for infinity numbers."

And that amde you laughed.

"Bye. Have a nice sleep, haechan."

"Okay ."

You end up the call. After that you directly close your eyes and drove to sleep.

A/n : I can't add some more parts as it hit the max length. Tf. If it hit 10 likes, I'll post more ♡♡♡

[novellaquill]

Starling Prologue: Lost and Longing

-

Drabble with OC!Batsis x Batfam

Summary: Lerina is depressed, she has been since her mother died. She has everything but she's unhappy and longing for something but doesn't know what.

Warning: This talks about depression, mental illness, and real-life problems. If you are uncomfortable with these topics don't read.

“The sea always filled her with longing, though for what she was never sure.”

― Cornelia Funke, Inkheart

Lerina Edrei Oriel-Wayne had what every girl wanted money, status, looks, living with some of if not the most attractive people on the planet, a future. She had the opportunity to go to many extravagant parties and even host them. You want a fanbase to invade your personal space she's got 20 but who cares its no big deal. She's got everything so why does she feel hollow inside. Lerina is a very fortunate woman, because of her father's wealth, she has so many things however, every present comes with strings. Whether it's making sure her siblings don't get into trouble or going on a date with one of Wayne Enterprise's many partners’ sons, there is always a string attached. Maybe the source of her emptiness is due to reputation as the Golden Girl or the Golden Angel. She's the daughter that every parent wants beautiful, intelligent, poised, calm, and collective. Never disagrees with her parent is seen not heard unless called upon, fit the be the perfect trophy wife. She is Bruce Wayne's blood daughter the eldest child too beating Dick by a few weeks. Maybe it's because she's frequently alone not allowed to join the nightly activities but forced to cover for them. Or perhaps the life every girl dreams of is not her dream life. Either way, her life was dictated by others. She wanted-no longed for something anything that would fill the void but with 17 years of the same cycle with no appreciation whatsoever, there was little hope. Hell, she had no clue want she wanted, never had the chance to think about it. Lerina was at a loss, it was mornings like this when she wished she had something to distract her mind from her melancholy mood.

--

"¿Pájaro cantor, cómo es mi niña hermosa?" "Goodmorning Leilei," Lerina said as she gave the old woman's cheek a kiss. Leilei, Lerina's strongwilled afro latina grandmother is actually named Kamalei Oriel. Lerina used to call her abuela until she heard someone call her. She tried to mimic them but could only say Leilei and the nickname stuck.

Taking a deep breath of the calm familiar air, she let out a sigh, "You have no idea how much I missed this place." Kamalei owed a cozy little townhome in Gotham village that just so happened to be Lerina's childhood home. "Not that I don't love having you here pajarito but why are you here? What's wrong?" She frowned at her grandmother's questioning but sat down o the couch, "I'm tired Leilei," the couch dipped as her grandmother sat down next to her "Of course you're tired, you run around being the perfect role model, doing whatever your father asks and for what," she shook her head "tired would be an understatement." She wasn't wrong there were happier days seemed lost in the hustle of everyday life. "You're not happy and you need to do something about it before it consumes you." "What am I supposed to do Leilei, when I got home I have responsibilities and have no time for anything else. WWhen I do have time no one is home and no one except Alfred actually hangs out with me. If I do anything out of line I'm in trouble."She exclaims in frustration tugging on her hair a bad habit she picked up, "when I'm done with everything else I don't know what to do with myself." "So leave. "What?" "Leave, go somewhere, anywhere that's away from here. Take the time to find yourself again. Lerina you were a musical prodigy, you're intelligent, beautiful, creative, and strong but your loyalty and love for others even when it's hurting yourself will be your downfall. You have PhDs, trophies, medals, and degrees that they don't even know about. Use them to get out of here!" Lerina sits on her words, "Da-Fa-Bruce would never allow it." Kamalei face scrunches up in anger, "THAT MOTHERF-umm your father never paid attention unless he wanted something from you. The only one who would notice and care would be Jason, Timothy, and Alfred. Stop letting him dictate what happens in your life. You're his daughter not his clone and you're grown adult!" she said voice filled with rage and love. Kamalei never liked Bruce Wayne, not when her daughter was dating him and not now either. When Lerina's mom died she spent a whole year trying to keep her granddaughter with her and away from him and now keeping her seemed like the right choice. But one must not dwell on the past.

--

Her grandmother was right the woman who lived up to Wayne name was not the girl who she was or who she thought she was. put everything into her new family and life when her mom died that she had family and life when her mom died that she had nothing without it. She cried to herself at night and could barely breath when big meeting came around. She was nothing but a hollowing corpse with a pretty face. Majority of her family didn't notice or care about her nor what she sacrifices. They won't even let her help fight crime and she was the oldest! But could she do it? Could she really just leave? That wasn't question though, it was did she have the guts to?

"I put my heart and soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process."

―Vincent Van Gogh

~Novella Quill

Next Chapter: The Lonely

[marvelsswansong]

please don’t let the thoughts get to you :( i have no experience with EDs but what your going through sounds awful. i love you and i’m here for you if you ever need to talk. ❤️

🥺🥺🥺 this is so sweet to receive, tysm babes you're so sweet.

Sigh. One of the best parts about this law firm internship has been that most days I've been so busy my ED voice didn't have any strength or time to bother me. But since today I haven't been given anything my brain's being flooded.

It really has interfered with so much of my life ngl - obviously it impacts my relationship with exercise, food and my body but also I can't socialize with others easily (which I really learned this week).

Like all the other interns are really friendly with each other but over half of the interns don't even know my name bc I skipped both social events planned this week and I've been having lunches alone most days (stresses me out to in front of other people/seeing what other people eat). Not to mention the casual mentions and discussions people generally make about starving/being famished, gaining weight, summer bodies, describing food in detail....

I just hate myself so much and I'm really tired mentally. Hence why I haven't been writing on here in a while too, this can sometimes feel like a job and another source of pressure - it's so dumb but I feel like every other writer has a ton of dedicated anons and all their fics do super well but idk doesn't apply to me 😅

Don't get me wrong I'm super appreciative of everyone here and I'm nowhere near complaining about interactions I get on my fics!!! Just... I'm mentally ill and lonely and tired, especially from not talking to anyone about it and holding it all to myself so I'm so sorry if I'm rambling here 😩😮‍💨