#i'm just trying to finish up my backlog of art ideas and i've been meaning to get to this one for a hot minute

[tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land]

Reach

[xxnashiraxx]

✨Ali's Birthday Bash!✨

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13

Hi everyone!!! Welcome to my birthday bash!! I have exactly one week till my 26th bday!! (It's special cause I'm only 26 on the 26th once!! 😁) I decided a month or so ago that I would like to spend it giving back to the people who have made me feel loved and accepted here on this silly little app and in this wonderful community! 💕 I am oh so grateful, and so beyond awestruck by the friends I've made here and the opportunities to bond with people I never would have met or had otherwise, that I had to do something to show my appreciation. 💗 I won't wax poetic too hard in this opening section, except in the little tidbits below, but my goal is to get 2 of these out a day, probably at different times each day (cause my schedule is a little erratic haha 💗) and I'm going to try so hard to get to everyone- I have some backlog, and I hope I can finish all of these before next week is up! But please bear with me! 💕 This may extend past my bday cause I work fulltime and I have to travel for the holidays, but I have a big list and a lot of people to show love to, so! 💗 Without further ado!!

divider here!

Ysera (for @khywren)

This was the first portrait (right? portrait? ahh idk) I completed!! I have some gripes with it, and I spent so much time trying to go back and forth trying to get things and proportions and perspectives right, but I think she's ready!! I'm not going to be a perfectionist any longer (a bald-faced lie) but I can't keep staring at it!!

Now on to what really matters! @khywren you have been such an amazing friend and wonderful presence in my life ever since I met you!! You were one of the very first people to read my fic and comment on it, and you care so much about my writing and show it and it just means so much to me (": Before you and a few other people began to read it, I didn't think I would continue anymore, but you helped me come out of that funk and feel better about the good and the bad! 💕I love Ysera so much, I cherish her and her nature and personality and wish I could hug her on the daily 💗 Your writing is so beautiful and evocative, and it's truly a gift to this fandom- I am so happy to call you my friend and so glad that I get to read your work! I hope I did your gal justice!! 💕 You have my heart forever 🥺💕

Tav (for @bby-bel-art)

BELLL!!! 💜💜 You are such an amazing person!!! I am so so so grateful we met! You are an incredibly talented artist with such a big heart and I treasure you so much! I cannot tell you how insanely overwhelmed with love I feel every time you send me a little art of Ofelia, or make a playlist for my fic, or tell me an idea and I just 🥺💕I feel so unworthy and awed that you like it and think about it and it's crazy- I truly don't know what I did to deserve you, but I am forever honored! You have the best music taste and I admire you so much- thank you for everything, and thank you for being my friend!!! 😁💜 I hope you like this little art of Tav- I am new to scales, so they may not look exactly like they do in the game, or much of the features 💀 But I hope you like it! 💜

Look out for more of these in the coming week! I will tag them all as #ali's birthday bash so hopefully they're a bit easier to find! I love you all so much!!!

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 3.26.2024

I feel like I finished The Fanfic just in time, because I've just been inundated with Life Stuff ever since. It's nothing important, just Every Day There are Tasks. It's also strongly possible that I put off a bunch of tasks while I was consumed with The Fanfic, and now I am dealing with the backlog. (Also, Posting The Fanfic and Replying to Comments count as tasks, so there's that, too).

It's been long enough, though, that I am getting itchy from not writing. I did manage to finish my little Kira thing, which I will post tomorrow for his birthday. It really did not require much, but somehow still took me two days. I am now trying to come up with ideas for ChadIshi week (which is next week) and I am 🎵not having any good ones🎵 (which is the primary reason I don't write more ChadIshi in the first place). I mentioned last week that I might do requests again, but based on how this is going, I'm not sure I'm in the mood for it. I'm not exactly sure what I feel like working on, but it might be one of the three Young Renruki stories I've got kicking around in my WIPs, as if I didn't just spend a year writing Young Renruki stories.

My kids are on spring break this week, which makes it double hard to concentrate or to get anything done past the daily running of the house. They go back partway thru next week, and then we're going on a trip the weekend after that. None of this bodes well for writing, but if I can at least come up with something I want to work on, sometimes trips are good for Ideas.

I did post the picture I drew for my daughter (there is also a version with tophats). Otherwise, I have fallen off my daily drawing very badly! I will try to get back on the horse, but I am not terribly optimistic!

Oh, well, spring is always like this. Hopefully things will quiet down eventually. Also, I really really really am going to get to that third Izakaya Kamenoya post eventually!!! I mean it!!

[platonicpinotnoir]

Educated Monkeys & Flying Horses

Welcome to me blog sire...! I'll respond to any name, including Rhubi. Currently in my dragon ball phase.

I keep rewriting this post and it keeps being long, so for now I'll stick the whole thing under a readmore - I'm at the point now where I think that I can be brief.

I read slow but I'm working on finishing a few books right now. The most important one that I'd recommend is "In An Unspoken Voice" by Peter Levine - it's about the nature of trauma and the healing of it, and it's a real life-changer. I am going to be annoying about this.

I'm a neophyte in everything that this blog is, but that won't stop me from trying to make discussions out of things! I'm uneducated, but interested. I don't know what online niche this is or what sorts of online communities I'm meant to assimilate into, but I'm here.

I'm open-minded. I like to think and feel.

This blog is for DISTURBING THINGS.

Also SWEET things, like healing mindsets, or genuinely lovely things.

It will also get personal.

I also LOVE TO LAUGH and so I may peddle a lot of BULLSHIT!!!!!

Also everything I draw is a PR nightmare. & it all means the world to me.

Below is a more comprehensive take on this blog that was written previously (sept 2023), as well as a breakdown of the tagging system.

PEACE & LOVE ON PLANET EARTH !!

This blog is for disturbing things. But not exclusively - I have no allegiance to explicit taboo, and there is no point that I am trying to make in being deliberately gross (unless stated otherwise; and not to overshadow the artistic value, merit, and necessity of being purposefully counter or grotesque & macabre in a sensitive sense).

Things well within the range of acceptable/conventional and empathetic, and are still difficult and raw and honest and vulnerable, are of steep interest as well. Even just things that I find BOLD! Given stigma or otherwise. Further generalized: anything piquant in a certain, potent way!

There will be MORBIDLY / SINCERELY SWEET THINGS as well because ... there's so much there that is important.

Also just like. Interesting things. Art or insights about, like, humanity or nature that I found interesting. If my brain is turned on yknow. Sometimes it is

This blog will GET PERSONAL. As a mode of self-expression, self-comprehension in context of an outer whole, interconnectivity - HONESTY, really.

I want to encourage self-protection as much as self-exploration - Use the block button if there is something here that you cannot tolerate, now or ever! Or send me asks about it.

This goes without saying but: This post is prone to change/replacement, as no one can tell the future, and who knows what features + atmospheres + intentions will move in and out of this blog (and in other words, myself). When you consider life to be an ongoing journey: I would expect to post forward, toward deeper understanding or new thoughts, as well as in retroactive art-moods in order to express the backlog of ideas that I've entertained. But if the latter doesn't happen, that's alright. I'll try to let things pass with grace, then. I won't hold my horses, but I won't beat them, either.

It's unnatural, and natural given the unnatural circumstances: see it before you and accept reality. View it with due criticism, contempt, or aversion, and without taboo.

When it comes to fucked up art, my favorite subjects are those of an inappropriate intimacy, a damning devotion, and misappropriated/forsaken parental/power dynamics - and/or anything that I can call "honey horror" as an aesthetic term. I think that they're conducive for many interesting themes, insights, and discussions!

I am also very partial to the patterns of freezing -> thawing and of a soul returning (hopelessness as felt by a character is one thing, but a true hopelessness by conviction of the author has never been my thing!). So the topic of health and healing will come up frequently, I think. Unless it doesn't. Lol

Again, there will be gravely sweet things here as well! They're important, and when I suddenly care, I care DEEPLY.

Although - and I cannot overstate this - there will also be quite a fair amount of bullshit on this blog. It's what I do.

Healing is always in your loving hands.

TAGS:

Reblog - all reblogs (others' posts)

Art - reblogged art (mostly visual)

pinotnoirposts - all original posts (even if reblogged from another blog of mine--tagged at my own discretion)

rhubi archives - a subset of the above tag that is longer, perhaps more personal, textposts; either contained or open discussions

rhubi arts - personal art tag

Trauma - Posts that are predominately or explicitly about trauma in a visible way, moreso than the rest (all posts will have an undercurrent naturally!)

Healing - Posts that predominately or explicitly carry the theme or hope for healing

SWEET - Things that are so very sweet and wholesome, or morbidly sweet

BLOOD - blood! An aesthetic tag. Red blood (literal and visual), flesh, intimacy, devotion, damnation

FROOT - An aesthetic tag that is a focused subset of the above one: The need for love, intimacy, sex, rest, or pleasure - and the FEAR of it (or, the coming-around sensitivity to the need of it in the context of healing, which often has you weak and tremulous and feeling the awe/fear of nature/god)

Categorical tags, like "Quotes," "Video," and "Music"

Fandom tags, like "dragon ball"

CONCEPT TAGS:

Castor & Cain - Tarble and Vegeta tag (dragon ball)

Table - I like Tarble so he gets his own tag. Mutually exclusive with the previous tag

Stay GORE-geous!

[kat-hicks-art]

I may have not given up, but the rest of my brain has

Since the formative assessment with Peer my willpower in the context of this project seems to have gone on holiday. The impending conclusion of this course probably isn't helping although usually when I get close to deadlines I do much more work and want to do work. But for me at this point in time I just, don't.

At all.

In fact I don't really feel like doing anything outside my work either, I know my life outside of college is a bit of a rollercoaster at the moment but I've never felt like this before.

It's like I've given up in a way, my brain keeps telling me that I'll probably end up finishing this course with a pass, and at most a merit. I was so determined to get a distinction in this course to prove to myself that being pushed up from the first year after my GCSEs wasn't a mistake. I've been told multiple times on this course that a distinction is within my grasp but how I feel now I don't think I have the mental acuity to produce any work and almost certainly not create work for a gallery. I have less than a month before I hand in but I'm still so far behind in my writing that I have work from the first week of the project I haven't finished and my Tumblr needs a lot of work done editing and adding posts. I feel like my reflection isn't that great because I haven't been making that many SMART targets due to the fact that all I usually ever plan to do in lessons is try and catch up on my writing backlog. I'm planning on leaving my sketchbook at college tonight when I go home so I can focus on Tumblr but I'm also planning to stay late at college tonight so I can get more writing done because there's so much it.

There's just so much 'life' going on right now and I find myself easily overwhelmed because I don't have enough time to think about everything let alone deal with it. I've decided not to create a journal club presentation because I think it would make me physically ill but I had been planning on something from the British Journal of Photography bases around the article which caught my eye at the start of the project based on the island which had a massive population wipeout which led to inbreeding and colourblindness in many of the people who live there now. Given that most phones have fancy editing things even on the base camera my task thing was going to be taking photos of things with colours that in their normal state have a certain meaning and then changing the colours in the photo so the colours in it obscure their meaning.

For example:

Mannequin with red ink on it that kind of looks like blood:

Before-

^After

In the edited photo it just looks like paint has been spread/ dribbled over the mannequin and the large fake leaf is purple but it does not make the photo look wrong or our of place. In fact the photo looks like it could have been a normal room in an art school. It would also be an option to do the inverse of the idea and change the colours in a photo so that something that looked mundane now looks like something symbolic or with meaning. Or even just makes people look twice / realise something is wrong.

For example

Before-

^After

I hope you get the idea 😊