#i'm just so fucking tired of having to teach myself how to do shit at this job
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arcane-vagabond · 1 year ago
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I think I might actually legitimately be at my limit. Like I think I've reached the end of my rope, actually
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gguk-n · 8 months ago
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Fading Shadow (Lando Norris x ex-Reader)
Part 2 of Last Straw Inspired by this request
Summary- Y/N moved on. Lando is still stuck, on what they had and what he lost.
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{Reader's POV}
The moment I landed back home, I felt relief wash over me when I cried in my mother's arms. I had been holding on to too much, it seems. My father brought my favourite food and we ate together and we laughed together. This was the therapy I needed. My siblings weren't very happy with Lando since they had seen everything unfold on social media but they were happy to have their sister back. I was happy to be back home. I needed this, I needed my people.
I decided I needed a change of pace, a change of scenery. I had been mourning my relationship while I was still in it. Now, I was a new me, I was going to do everything I wanted.
I applied at the company I always wanted to work at but due to there being no vacancies I was assigned a job in a different country and I was ready to take on the world. I knew Lando would never search for me, he never truly loved me but I still wanted to leave. I needed a fresh start.
{Lando's POV}
The silence after the break up was exactly what I needed, or so I thought. I could leave as I wished. I could go out whenever I wanted. I didn't have to explain myself to anyone. It's so much better to be single then to be tied down.
I didn't think I would ever miss Y/N, but I did. I remember exactly when I missed her for the first time; it was after a difficult race and I had finish decently with the shitty cards I had and I just wanted someone to tell me how well I did; but there was no one; no one who knew what I wanted to hear. I felt so alone even when I was surrounded by hundreds of people for the first time in a long time.
The second time I missed her was when I was stood on top of the top step of the podium. I wanted to have her around so I could share my highs with her. I didn't get a 'do you wanna go out to celebrate?' like the last two times and I aired her both time to party with random girls. Right now, I was in the club celebrating my third win of my career and season and I felt empty and alone. Not even the alcohol helped.
The house we lived in was a stark reminder of the time we spent together. All our dates we had. All the times she would teach me how to cook but we would always end up with a big mess and half cooked or burnt food since I would get distracted. In retrospect, I loved every second of it even though I never admitted it then. I love all the time we spent together or the laugh she would emit when I messed up. I missed her and I wish she was here; I was too stupid to admit it then but I do now.
Oscar was getting sick and tired of me using his phone to check on Y/N's social media accounts since she had blocked me every where. I would end up borrowing the other driver's phone to check, just in case. Until one day, her account stopped showing up for Oscar too. I went through almost everyone on the paddock's phone to see if she had blocked my friends. Turns out, she had deactivated her social media accounts; I realised that after one of the gossip pages posted about her deactivating her profiles, across all the platforms.
I would wake up from dreams about her and I would fall asleep to the thought of her. No woman interested me anymore; I wish I was this loyal when we were dating, when she could see that I loved her, not now when she couldn't even see I had changed.
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My PR team was losing their shit when I tweeted that. I had to sit through a stupid meeting after everything. It was miracle I didn't start crying in the middle of the meeting.
People had started to notice I guess, since Carlos approached me. "Cabron, what's up?" he asked while I was lying on my couch after media day. "Nothing" I hummed. "I fucked up right?" I asked. "I can't say no" Carlos said. I laughed painfully. "I didn't know how good I had it until it was all gone. I'm an ass and I deserve everything I'm getting" I cried. Carlos comforted me, hugging me tightly. "I just wish she would talk to me, at least once. So, that I could show her that I've changed. I really have Carlos. I love her so much, it hurts" I cried into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Lando" he said patting my back.
There's a saying, You don't know what you've got until it's gone. I was living that nightmare and I will never stop living it.
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 1 year ago
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Just Take It | Part Three | Jungkook's Point of View
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Summary: Jungkook is losing his grip and con't seem to get you out of his head, little does he know he's all you've been able to think about too. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 3.5k~ (Damn this was supposed to be a short one lmao) Read Part 3 from oc's pov first! Warnings: Smuuuuttt, Explicit Language and a crap ton of pet names (Mirror of the dialogue from part 3) a/n: So I got this request and I figured it would be fun to write an alternate chapter in Jungkook's pov so send in asks if you would like to see more of these hehe Drabble requested by an anon 💜
After coming home from the gym I take my time getting into the shower, making sure I have something planned for dinner when she comes home.
"Shit" I mumble, all these fucking hormones have been driving me wild these days. What am I a teenager? Just the thought of her at this point drives me mad. The fact that she comes home to me night after night and fills my whole house with her scent.
I don't know how I've managed to hold myself back for this long. After checking things out down here I go upstairs and start the shower and let it run for a while, waiting for it to warm up.
Taking a good look in the mirror I take note of my dilated pupils. I close my eyes and take deep breaths, trying to ground myself but nothing seems to be working. If anything it's getting worse.
I clench my jaw as I feel myself start to get hard just by the thought of her tired little body coming home after a long day at work, so ready to rest and relax with me for the night. 
Fuck I wish I could do something to help the both of us relax.
She was always a shy girl around me, so innocent and kind and beautiful and "Fuck" I curse at the feeling of my dick rubbing my against my boxers and I know I'm done for. Looking down I see the obvious tent that's slowly growing under my sweats and I know I'm gonna need to take care of it.
Stripping out of my clothes I walk into the shower and let the water run down my back, my hand pressed up against the wall as I look down at my dick that's begging to be touched.
'I really shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be thinking about her like this, but I can't control myself. I wrap my hand around it, pumping it back and forth at a lazy pace, coaxing myself to get harder.
"Shit" I groan as I run my thumb over the head, collecting the pre cum that's already started to leak out. I take my time playing with just the tip, teasing myself and making my hips stutter from the need of more friction.
"Y/n" I call out quietly, loving how her name tastes on my tongue while I'm doing something so forbidden. I rub my pre cum up and down my shaft, making obscene noises that make me close my eyes, helping me imagine that it's her that’s here doing this to me.
Bucking my hips into my fist I rest my forehead against the wall, steadying myself and letting my hips thrust as hard as they want, chasing that delicious high I'm begging to chase. "Fuck yes Bunny just like that. Shit y/n, fuck" I groan, lost in the moment and not giving a fuck if anyone were to hear me. 
She won't be home until later so fuck it.
Squeezing harder leaves me grunting and my hips falter, my fist now running up and down my cock, giving me so my pleasure it's almost too much. I let out a breathy moan, thinking about the image of her on her knees, with those innocent doe eyes playing with me and learning how to please me.
"Fuck, wish I could have you in here y/n. My pretty little Bunny" I let out, a little louder than I would've liked but who gives a fuck. All I care about is fantasizing about my naïve little girl asking to suck me off, eyes watering but begging me to teach her so she can make me feel good.
"Darling want you so so bad. Come choke on this cock, there you go, just like that Bun" I say, a trail of curses following as I feel myself getting closer to the edge. Her, hair, her eyes, her smile, those lips, those gorgeous lips that taunted me with pleas for me to take it. Take her and be her first.
"Shit" I curse, my hand having a mind of it's own as it picks up the pace, bringing me higher and higher until I tip over. Her name attached to a string of curses, dying to be able to praise her for how good she is to me. How good she would be for me.
Turning the shower water to cold I quickly wash my hair and body and try to erase the memory of what I just did. I know that I don't have the time to do it again and from the way I fucking came so hard I don't think I would be able to live it down if I let that happen again just from the memory of her alone.
Getting out of the shower and checking the time I'm grateful to see that I don't have to worry about having been too loud since there's still an hour or so before she's due back.
Even if she did hear me I wouldn't give a fuck. I know she knows that I'm attracted to her and oh what a conversation starter that would be....
~~~~~
Things were weird when she came home and dinner was even weirder. As I watch her head upstairs after saying goodnight I go over our various conversations today.
When she came home she didn't have her bags with her like she always does. She brings her purse and her laptop bag in every single day so the sight of her walking in without them could only mean one thing.
She definitely heard me in the shower today. Fuck, I know I said that I wouldn't care if she heard me but now after seeing the way she was acting tonight I can't help but wonder if I messed up. 
She's a fucking virgin and she walks in today, exhausted from work and the first thing she hears is a grown man moaning and fantasizing about her in the shower.
I should've been more careful. Fuck I shouldn't have done it at all.
After going round and round and cursing at myself for scaring her off I decide it's time to head to bed. There's no use staying up if I'm just gonna stress out about how I fucked up. Not like I can go back and change things now.
~~~~~~
Tossing and turning is added to the act of scolding myself, the act of having gone to bed not making things any better like I had thought. In fact it's made things worse.
Fuck if I had no sense of self respect I would do it all over again but I can't. I need to make things right by her. I need to apologize.
Against my best efforts I'm not able to drift of to sleep in the slightest so I decide to get a glass of water downstairs and take a breather to hopefully aide in making these doubts find their way out but right when I open my door I hear noises coming from her room.
I slowly walk towards it, thinking that she might've left the TV on or something. I stop in my tracks, the roles definitely having been reversed now as I hear her breathy moans unlike me, trying her best to stay quiet.
I wish she would get louder. I wish I could have her screaming and moaning my name so loud that even the neighbors can hear it.
"Jungkook please" are the words I had only dreamed of hearing from her, her melodic voice dripping with need and I can tell she's so desperate to cum. She sounds adorable, but I bet she'll start to get frustrated soon. Upset that her fingers are too small to do the job.
"Fuck!" I hear fall from her lips, making me want to fall to my knees. 
I never knew she would have such a dirty mouth. I fucking wish I could watch her as she comes undone and as her whines get louder I decide to place my hand on the door knob and twist it open. One little peek won't do any harm.
With the way I'm planning on fighting for her she'll be showing me a lot more than just a small glance like this soon enough.
"Jungkook please" she begs again as I crack the door open. 'Fuck it I can't handle this' I think to myself and take in the sight in front of me. Her silhouette alone making me dizzy. The way she pinches her erect nipples and whines as she no doubt plays with her clit making me want to worship the ground she walks on.
"Please what Bunny?" I chance, watching the guilt of me catching her and no doubt scaring her beyond belief flood her facial expressions but I press on nonetheless. "M-mr. Jeon?" she stutters, the scare making her go back to using formalities again. 
She's so fucking pretty.
"Come on Darling, you know better than that. Now what were you saying? Jungkook please? Please what Bun?" I say, slowly walking towards her, going around the bed to sit on the side closest to her and she pulls the sheet up to cover herself, scared and unsure of what to do.
"What would you like me to do for you baby?" I say when I finally sit down, the bed dipping under my weight and watching as she scoots over, not to get away from me but to make room which pleases me greatly.
"Look at how cute you are. Confident enough to moan my name while I'm sleeping just a few doors down but now that you've been caught you can't even say a word. But you sounded so pretty Darling. Can you say it again for me?" I taunt, chancing a kiss under her ear and when I feel all of her muscles relax into my touch I know I've got her.
"Come on Bunny, I know you know how to use your words" I whisper, my mouth practically on her ear garnering a shiver from her in response.
"P-please Jungkook" she chokes out, almost as if she was scared of the sound of her own voice. "Please what Darling?" I say, ghosting my lips all along her neck, breathing in that intoxicating scent I know so well but drowning in the intensity of it coming directly from the source.
The things I would do to ruin her right here, right now. But I need to be patient, need to bide my time and work for her. We might be rushing things now but neither of us can stand another moment of this game we've been playing.
"Please let me cum" she whines and I could climax alone from the look she's giving me. Her pink cheeks and the way her eyes are glossing over, seconds from shedding those beautiful crystal tears has me so mesmerized by her.
"Would you like me to help you cum Princess?" I say, pushing a stray strand of hair off her face but I notice that her tears have started to fall more freely and I get worried that I've misread this situation.
"We don't have to do this if you don't want to. I can walk right out of here and we can pretend that nothing ever happened" I say, reassuring her that this is all up to her. I'm here to take care of her, only if she'll let me.
"Please help me cum" she pleads, another tear falling on her cheek. If the words that just fell from her lips weren't as dirty as they were I would've wanted to hold her and tell her everything's gonna be okay. Instead I catch that glimmering tear that's fallen and caress her cheek, gauging her reactions before doing anything else.
"Lay down for me yeah?" I say, kissing her forehead and guiding her back down, wanting her to be as comfortable as possible. 'Fuck she's gorgeous' I say to myself as I study everything there is about her.
"Can I kiss you Bunny?" I ask her and she nods her head almost instantly, her enthusiasm beyond endearing to me. I lean down but stop just shy of her lips, reminding her what she needs to do for me to continue.
"Use your words Darling" I whisper, my lips just a breath away and when she tells me 'Yes' I can just feel the desperation hidden behind that word and I can't help but smile before kissing her, this time softly, as if I were to do much more that she would break in my arms. 
I fill it with longing, showing her how much I want this, want her.
Not long after I started kissing her does she start to squirm about, begging for more and I detach our lips, laughing against hers before kissing her again, taking away her chance to answer right away.
"Can I take this off?" I question, toying with the thin piece of fabric that's keeping me from her, already being able to see her hard nipples rubbing against the sheet. She nods and I get up just enough to pull it off completely, drinking in the sight of her laying bare for me.
As I take my time studying ever line and curve of her, committing it all the memory my eyes are brought to the sight of her pressing her thighs together and I can tell she's been aching to be touched like this for so long.
"You want me to touch you?" I ask, ghosting my fingers along her skin that's warm to the touch and I feel her shiver from the chill I no doubt caused her. She chokes out a 'Please' holding herself back from making too much noise and I can't help but smile at her efforts. I'm sure she knows though that that's the exact opposite of what I want from her but I let her be this time.
"Open your legs for me Princess" I say, gently guiding them apart with one hand while the other dances along her stomach, falling in love with her reaction from simple touches like this.
"Were you just using your fingers baby?" I ask, tracing along her torso and touching every inch of skin I dare to travel just yet. She nods and I can see how her chest is rising, breathing picking up no doubt from excitement and it takes everything in me to stifle back a smirk.
"Want me to use mine?" I tempt and she nods enthusiastically but I take my time. Tracing patterns on her inner thighs, I watch as she squirms until I finally run a finger through her damp folds, restraining myself from moaning at the feeling. She takes in a sharp breath at the sensation of my cold fingers playing with her and I smile at the reaction. 
"Baby was all wet just thinking about me huh?" I taunt and she nods her head, being so honest with me, her eyes closed and getting lost in the feeling, a little shy though about admitting it. 
"Can I ask you a question Darling?" I ask needing to know the answer, no matter how embarrassed she might be. She stutters out a 'Yes' when I start to circle my finger around her clit and I know I won't be able to get her voice out of my head. 
 "Did you hear me earlier today when I was in the shower?" I ask and her whole body stiffens for a second, her doe eyes wide with fright again and I let out a dry chuckle, getting all the information I need from that alone.
"I noticed that you didn't bring your bags in from your car like you normally do and when I was walking out of my room I saw that your door was open and they were already inside. Meaning that you were probably in the house before I first saw you. Isn't that right Princess?" I continue and when I push my fingers inside her her back arches and she moans out another 'Yes' lost in the feeling of being touched like this.
"Fuck, yes!" she moans out, louder than she has before and I know I've hit it just right.  "You like that? You like it when I touch you like that?" I growl out. I can't stop myself, I need more of her so I quench my thirst by biting down on her collarbone, kissing and licking the skin making her arch up into me even more. 
Trailing kisses down her chest I stop for a second, taking in the sight of her breast right in front of me and I glance up at her, asking for permission. "Yes Jungkook please" she groans and I push my fingers in further, dragging hard against her walls as I take one of her nipples into my mouth. Wanting to hear more from her and knowing just how to get it. 
Her moans fall more freely and I can't helps but increase the pressure. "You make such pretty noises Darling" I praise, the sound of her voice a beautiful sinful melody.  Switching over to the other nipple after I take my time savoring the first one, licking it one more time, smiling at the sight of leaving it puffy and wet, evidence of how much I've been dying to taste her. 
I do the same with the other one as she clenches around my fingers, making me take note of another thing she likes. 
"Does baby like getting praised? Do you like it when I tell you how pretty you look while you're under me?" I taunt and receive another clench in return, solidifying what I already knew and I can tell by the way her walls start to flutter around my fingers that she's already close.
She moans and mewls and babbles out the pretties sounds none of them making any more sense than the other. All I can focus on is the way she says my name over and over in the midst of the confusion and I can't wait for the day I have her screaming my name. 
I watch as she loses herself, not even realizing that she's started to fuck herself on my fingers, riding them all on her own. I can't wait for her to ride me, fuck I know she would be so good at it. 
As her face contorts in pleasure she begs to cum I can't help but smile, trying to figure out how the fuck I got so lucky. 
"That's it Bunny, just like that" I praise, guiding her through it all and making sure she tips over that edge, writhing and moaning beneath me and as she's just about to cum undone she grabs the back of my neck and smashes her lips against mine, making me swallow her adorable little whines and and screams of pleasure. 
Baby was so nervous of how loud she would be that she just decided to make me swallow all her cries. Next time though she won't be getting away with that. She'll be screaming and begging for me to make her cum and I'll watch her, watch her fall apart knowing I'm the only one that's given her this much pleasure. 
I continue fucking my fingers inside of her over and over again helping her ride out her high and only stop once her cries of overstimulation start to fall from her lips. 
"You did so well Princess" I say, brushing the tears off her cheek, enjoying the glazed over look in her eye. "You did so good for me" I praise again and take note of the freshly fucked state she's in as she hums happily, slowly drifting off to sleep. 
I chuckle at the sight of her and stand up to get a warm damp towel to clean her up. Watching over her as she lets out cute little whimpers at the feeling. 
I throw the towel in the laundry basket and leave to go open the door to the guest bedroom down the hall and turn down the blankets so I can place her right under them as soon as she hits the mattress.
I head back into her room and gently scoop her up in my arms, smiling as she cuddles into me even in her unconscious state before placing her down moments later on the cool clean sheets. 
I watch as she moves around, turning on her side and snuggling into the blanket to get comfortable and my heart melts at the scene. "Goodnight Bunny" I say to her softly, placing a kiss on her forehead and leaving the room, closing the door silently behind me. 
I look down at the state I'm in and take note of the full tent I have in my sweats and curse at the sight of it. I head back into my room and close the door behind me, stripping out of my clothes, knowing that I need to take a shower again.
 This time cold. Very cold. 
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salmonro3 · 5 months ago
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★彡[ᴘᴜɴᴄᴛᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ]彡★ - ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
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★彡[ᴘᴜɴᴄᴛᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ]彡★
I hummed to myself at the desk. My pen lightly tapped against the desk as my eyes carefully scanned over the papers. This grading feels like it'll never end. And what's worse is that this kid doesn't know how to write proper punctuation. I thought to myself, rolling my eyes slightly. A red mark here, a red mark there. I watched the bright red ink drip slowly onto the beige paper as I lazily marked in corrections. 
Crrraaak. The door to my classroom creaked open slowly. My head didn't perk up, and I thought it was just the wind blowing in from the window pushing the door slightly. Or it could've just been Gojo annoying me after teaching our students. Footsteps followed the sound of the door and then got somewhat louder each time their shoes met the room's wooden floors.
"Toru, I'm grading papers now," I mumbled, sighing as my eyes never left the sentence I was reading. Period. How could this kid have missed a period at the end of the sentence? Period. I placed a little red dot at the last letter of that word. 
"Y/N," a man's voice whispered, much more profound than Gojo's. 
My eyes shot up from the page; my head tilted slowly to see who it was. 
Short blonde hair was neatly combed, pale skin all around and defined facial features, tight navy blue shirt that was wrinkled, and long grey dress pants. 
"Y/N, it's me. Ken," the man continued, slinging his light grey blazer that matched his dress pants over his shoulder. 
"Nanami," I gasped, my eyes widening, and a large grin appeared. 
I abruptly stood up from my chair, hearing it graining against the hardwood floor as I pushed it back to make room for me to go around the desk. My arms raised for him, and my legs went right in front of him, just stopping a couple of steps before him. My legs wouldn't move; they wouldn't continue walking up to him. My arms didn't want to wrap around him even though they were already extended for Nanami. 
Nanami looked down at me and observed my body. Then, he slowly stepped up to me. I felt his chest press to mine as his arms went under mine, wrapping around my torso tightly. One of his hands went in my hair, grasping my soft strands. My mind started working again as my arms surrounded his body, trying to hold onto him as tightly as my strength could.
"Nanami, you left me," I softly mumbled into his chest, my face buried in his shirt. 
"I know, and I'm so, so, so sorry," Nanami began, his chin resting on my head. "When I left, all I thought about at work was returning to you. After the days became months, they turned into years. I thought it'd be too late to see your face again. I thought it would be too late and you wouldn't remember me if I had returned to you. It was horrible, Y/N, without you. I fucked up. Period."
I tightly gripped his shirt at his back, my teeth clenching slightly. 
A period meant a complete stop at the end of a sentence.
Nanami and I were in the same year while we studied at Jujutsu Tech, and Gojo and his friends were in the year above us. When we finally graduated, Kento said he wanted nothing to do with Jujutsu Sorcery and wanted to leave immediately. He didn't want to live in a world with sorcerers and cursed magic. He was done and tired. 
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"Period," Nanami muttered. "This is all a bunch of shit, Y/N. I'm leaving tomorrow morning, and I have already signed up for training to assist people with their finances at a company."
"You can't just fucking leave after finishing school here," I exclaimed, my hand clenching into a fist. "You're just going to forget you ever learned any of this? You don't want to save people and fight curses? You're just going to leave me here and let me rot all alone?" 
"Well, you said you were going to teach sorcery to teenagers. So, you'll be with Gojo and Shoko. You won't be alone,"  Nanami continued, carefully pushing his hair out of his face. 
"But I thought you would want to stay with us," I mumbled, looking at him with glossed eyes. 
"Period means the end of the sentence. This is the end of this discussion. This is the end of my time with Jujutsu sorcery. Goodbye, Y/N," Nanami replied, looking at me, his eyes squinting slightly. 
"Fuck you," I muttered. I instantly turned my back toward him and disappeared from that corner. 
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After the day before Nanami left in the morning, Y/N never saw him again. And the last sentence she got to say to him was to tell him to go fuck himself. For months, Y/N thought of Kento. She was angry at him for walking out. After all the years of working and studying with him, she was furious that he would just leave. Period. And when the months turned into years, it wasn't anger anymore. It was loneliness. She missed everything about him. She missed how his hair was combed to one side of his head, and he'd constantly fiddled with it. Now, it was neatly kept. She forgot how aligned the buttons were to his uniform. Now, his button-up shirt was wrinkled. She missed how he'd show up to her dorm late at night to study with her and Haibara. This was the first time she had seen him in four years. 
Although a period meant the end of a sentence, a comma meant otherwise. A comma meant that there was a pause inside of a sentence before it continued. There was a pause in her life without Nanami Kento. Everything already felt like Hell from the start after the death of their beloved friend, Haibara. Nanami leaving wasn't any better for her. Y/N lost two of the most important people during Y/N's teenage years when she had nobody. 
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Now, since a comma meant the sentence was to be continued, it felt like it had been written into my life all these years, and the sentence finally started up again today. The day Nanami came back to see me.
It wasn't a period. It was a comma. 
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"Hello, it’s Nanami. I need to talk to you," Nanami began over the phone quietly. "Yes, I’ll be stopping by Jujutsu Tech tomorrow… Why are you laughing?"
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"Didn't you used to like Y/N back in high school?" Gojo asked as he walked with Nanami through the hallways of Jujutsu Tech.
"What kind of question is that, Gojo?" Nanami snapped, rolling his eyes. He looked down at the ground as he kept walking. His eyes noticed the bright polish on his shoes had faded.
Yesterday, he helped out the cashier-girl at the bakery he usually visited. After that moment, he pulled out his phone and called Gojo. Nanami wanted to go back to high school. Nanami wished he would be able to get another glimpse of Y/N. 
Recently, he had been thinking of her more. Every time he pulled out his shirt to put on for work if there were any wrinkles in it, he would remember Y/N always ironing them out for him in his uniform before school. The scuffs on his leather shoes would make Nanami think of the shoe polish Y/N would keep in her dorm room for him to use. And his hair. Oh, he remembered the times that Y/N would brush it out of his face sometimes and how these past years he's had to comb it in a part that wouldn't get in his face.
He was older now, and so was Y/N. Gojo kept saying that Nanami would be able to see Y/N today. The thought of seeing her suddenly like this scared him. Would she even be able to recognize him? Would Nanami even realize that Y/N sat at the desk through the window in the classroom, reading over papers?
Of course, he did. He knew that beautiful face from anywhere.
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My hands released his shirt, my fingertips letting the fabric of his navy blue button-up breathe. Nanami wouldn't let go of me. It almost felt as if she was getting closer and closer to him, almost melding into his body slowly. Just like the way the ink chamber in a pen would slowly fall into the nib of the utensil and drip onto the paper with a smooth gel as it glided across the creamy surface. The ink would mesh with the fabric of the paper, just like Nanami held me tightly while his fingers were tangled in my hair.
"I understand if you don't wish to speak with me after everything," Nanami began; he pressed my head slightly into his chest. "Y-You can forget we've ever talked in the first place, but I honestly can't stop thinking of how much of an asshole I was the day I was leaving. I shouldn't have left you in the first place."
I sighed into his chest, patting his back slightly.
"Ken, I don't think you understand how upset I've been since our fight and after you left. I was so fucking pissed at you for walking out. All I wanted in my life was for you, Haibara, and me to be happy," I softly began, my eyes glossing over my words. "Were you happy? When did you become a salaryman?"
Nanami shook his head, looking up at the ceiling.
"I did that job, so I would have enough money to retire at a younger age and move to a country with low living costs," Nanami explained. "But after yesterday, when I was at the bakery... I wanted there to be a reason to live. So, yesterday afternoon, I decided to come back here in hopes of making a difference and being able to see you again."
And that was all I needed to hear from Nanami Kento. Period.
I pulled back slightly, looking up at him with watered eyes. My hands slowly snaked up his firm torso and eventually reached his neck. My fingertips brushed along the skin of his neck before my hands got to his face, cupping it gently.
"I'm sorry," Nanami whispered, looking down at me with sorrowful eyes as his hands rested on my hips.
I leaned in carefully, my heels removing themselves from the floor as I got on my tiptoes. Nanami brought his face close to mine as my hands pulled him in. His soft lips brushed against mine, and I could feel my heart racing. I never wanted to let him go again. I would never allow him to leave my side. I don't want him to not be a part of my life.
End of discussion.
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waddleonmywaywardducks · 10 months ago
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Something I would just like to get off my chest...
Literally I just want to talk my shit. This is just SOME of the shit I'm tired of seeing in my community.
I grew up in a extremely god-fearing Christian home. Most of my childhood years where spent in a church or with my nose stuck into a Bible. It was horrible. When I was 10, I was opened to the world of magic and slowly I realized that what I was reading could be true. I began to research as much as I could and now here we are. But anyways, as I began to expand my craft, I start to find myself with people who also practice!
My first experience with the shit talk in my community was from a witch who came from a long line of witches and claimed they were more powerful then me bc of that....I've never seen them practice or even attempt to practice....and their mother is a wiccan....ok yeah sure ☠️ like first off, literally I don't care, I don't care if your mother is a witch, I don't care that "you are the granddaughter of the witches they didn't burn" ☠️☠️ you can miss me with that. Second off, because they claimed to be a more powerful witch they said they could "mentor" me and teach me the "right ways" and when I said no they then told me I would never be powerful and that they would curse me....where's that curse at girlie???? I do not care for power. I do not care for control. I just want to find harmony with myself and the world.
The second experience I had, AND I KNOW EVERYONE. EVERYONE. HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM, was the "I've been practicing for x amount of years so....Im actually better then you" I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I do not give a fuck how long you have been practicing. Here's a real question, why do you, a "experienced" witch, feel the need to invalidate new witches, when your practice is all your own? Are you really practicing if you feel the need to scare and fearmonger newer witches? Why not help them?I remember I was at such and loss starting out because no one would tell me, they would be like "how could you not know that?!?!" Or "I would NEVER make that mistake" it's ok to make mistakes, fuck man 8 years later and I still make mistakes. Also, Witchcraft communities have always been about communicating, when looking for where to began, young witches would TURN TO THEIR ELDERS. Why have we driven away from that? Idk I just feel like if you feel the need to invalidate newer witches, you aren't actually secure in your own practice. So are you really better then me? Or are you just worried I'll become more "powerful" then you?
And I know we've all gone through the "I have the most expensive herbs so my spells are way more powerful" just say you love capitalism ☠️☠️ LMFAOOO the witches I see on tiktok are like the over consumption final boss like holy shit. I literally get everything I need from the forest outside my house, I literally haven't bought anything for my practice in like months because I put my time and energy into what I create for my deities, spells, and rituals. And honestly, Ive had way better results because of it. You don't need all this big fancy stuff, just get started with what you have. Make it your own.
Instead of doing all this, mind your business, stay to YOUR craft, and if someone asks for help you can give them what you can. Literally just be a nice person Jesus fucking Christ. Just be a nice person. The entire reason I made this blog was for witches who needed someone to push them in the right direction. This post was me talking shit, if you feel called out....then consider this a sign to try to be better, there's always a chance to start again. And also, in no way am I bashing witches who come from a long line of witches, that shit is cool as hell, I'm just saying when you use it just to be cool and not practice, bc i hate to break it to you but if you don't practice like at all, not even attempt to start, then you aren't a witch my guy im sorry being born into a witch family doesn't automatically make you a witch, you have to carve that shit out for yourself. But anyways it's 1am I'm tired I honestly have no idea why I wrote this. Ok bye.
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undertakerslxt · 2 years ago
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pay me back | undertaker x f!reader
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title; pay me back
warnings; mentions of pregnancy/forced pregnancy. some implied non/dub-con. major teasing. humiliation kink. unprotected sex (wrap ur willy before u do the silly!). finishing inside. toys (nipple/clit clamps). undertaker being sort of cruel. degradation/slut shaming. desk sex/coffin sex. vibrator. major possessiveness from ut. use of titles (sir). definite bdsm. brief bondage. implied murder of someone else. overstimulation.
summary; you're a noblewoman with a job to report back information to the queen, and the mysterious undertaker is your informant. your usual payment is sex, but after you go to a different undertaker for information, he gets angry and decides to teach you a lesson by playing a little game with you.
song inspo; dangerous (for your entertainment also works well)
word count; 1.8k
notes; i've said this before and i will say it again. it is a federal crime undertaker does not exist. also it’s 4am, i’m tired and it’s not beta read, so i apologize if it seems rushed or underwritten.
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The shop was quiet when you stepped in, and you blinked to adjust your eyes to the darkness. "Undertaker?" You called, glancing about.
"So you've finally shown your face. I was wondering when you would be brave enough to come back here after your little betrayal."
Shit. He knew.
"You weren't home—"
A hand shot from the darkness and pulled you to the nearest coffin. Unbeknownst to you, while talking, he had locked the door and turned the sign to closed. He wasn't about to have this time interrupted. "You could have come by later, or waited for me," his voice growled in your ear. Deft hands made quick work of pulling your skirts up to your waist. He pressed his knee between your legs, holding your hands behind your back. "Instead, someone decided to go to another shop for information, and if a little birdie told me right, even flirted."
"I didn't! I was only asking for further information on the recent murders—"
"Hush, doll, I'm the one talking."
You shivered as a cold nail ran up the back of your leg, then lightly flicked your womanhood. "Did you show that other undertaker your pussy? Perhaps you just showed off your cleavage, hoping he would give you anything you wanted."
You swallowed.
A light smack to your thigh told you he wanted an answer now. "Well, did you get what you wanted? Showing off your body?"
"He didn't give me the information I needed, no," you whispered, unable to look behind you.
A dark chuckle sent shivers up your spine. "You should know by now I'm the only one who can give you what you need. Information and otherwise." He pressed his knee harder into you, making you whimper. "What would your beloved queen say if she knew you were whoring yourself out for information?"
"I'm not, I'm—"
"Oh, but you are." His grip on your wrists tightened. "Coming in here asking for priceless information, knowing my price isn't laughter for you. Spreading your legs so easily for me, letting me bury myself inside you time and again until you're dripping. But you like that, don't you? Being used as a cum dump. Because you wouldn't be on birth control if you didn't. Here's the thing, doll — once you let me touch you, you became mine, and I don't like when my playthings entertain other men."
"I'm on birth control because I cannot get pregnant," you snapped back, trying to wrest your wrists away. "Imagine what people would say if a noblewoman had a child by an undertaker!"
"Dove, they wouldn't say anything, because the second you were pregnant, I wouldn't be letting you out of my sight. I wouldn't want you to run away from me or our family~ But enough of that. I do intend to punish you."
"Look, I won't go to him anymore!" You didn't like his tone, or how you couldn't see what he was about to do. You may fuck the man on a semi-regular occasion, but you didn't actually know him, or what lines he wouldn't cross with you. And you were just now realizing that.
"I've already taken care of him, doll. You won't be going to anyone else ever, I promise you that."
Cool air fanned your hot skin as he ripped your underwear off. He pulled your dress and shift off as well without letting you free, then tied your hands together with a soft fabric. "I was waiting for the right time to use this little toy."
He turned you over, finally letting you see him. Chartreuse eyes glowed faintly in the darkness, clearly angry. He had lost his hat and usual outer robe, leaving his tight-fitting clothes. He held up a set of clamps with individual chains running down to merge into a single chain, which ended at a third clamp. His smirk made you shiver.
"I have the information you want, but since you decided you couldn't rely on me, you can find it yourself. Wearing nothing but these."
"You can't seriously expect—"
His hand gripped your chin firmly. "You humiliated me by not only going to another man, but daring to tell said man I couldn't do what you needed. Therefore, I am going to repay the favor. I am being kind; no one else is here and no one will walk through that door for the rest of today. Keep arguing and I'll make it worse for you."
You swallowed. "Y... Yes, sir."
His smirk returned. "Good girl." He knelt down, and a second later, you felt something cold close around your clit. He pulled the toy up so he could do the same with the other clamps. You shivered as he attached the clamps to your nipples. "To make it more fun..." He hit something and you gasped as the clamp on your clit began vibrating slowly. "Every ten minutes, I will turn this up. Cum before you find the information or I give you permission, and you've failed."
"May I have a starting clue, please?" You breathed, hoping he'd be nice. "Just an area to look in, maybe?"
"Well, you do look beautiful right now... It's a red folder."
That should be easy enough, right? But you had a sinking feeling as his eyes gleamed. "Good luck, doll."
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Thirty minutes in and you were still nowhere close to finding the folder. Undertaker watched you with a predatory smile, tapping the remote against his chin. "Want another clue, doll?" He'd ask, but you didn't trust his smirk. You weren't sure what he would want for the clue now.
And yet, you were at your wit's end. You had searched every bookshelf, every nook and cranny, and you had already tried prying more clues out of him without giving anything in return. That buzzing between your legs was driving you crazy, making you wet and sensitive without any relief of an orgasm. You weren't about to give in, though, so you faced him. "Yes, please."
"Please, what?" He taunted.
"Yes, please, sir," you amended. "Please, give me a clue. Anything."
He was toying with you, and you hated it. You hated losing, especially in this twisted little game of his.
So you marched over to him, where he was lounging, and before he could react, you unbuttoned his pants. You carefully pulled his cock out, watching as it immediately stood to attention, tip flushed and red. You straddled his lap and groaned softly as you sank down onto him. "Please," you breathed, rolling your hips, "give me a clue."
His hands gripped your hips and he bit back a moan, thrusting upwards. "Is this your way of seducing one out of me? I thought you weren't a slut."
"Aren't I? For you? You make big speeches about me, but God knows you can't wait to rip my clothes off as soon as I set foot in your shop." You whimpered as he hit a certain spot, toes curling with the effort to not cave and orgasm right there.
"Well, that admission is beautiful enough," he grunted. A few more thrusts and you feel warmth spurt inside of you. You hated how much you loved it. He panted for a second, eyes locked onto yours. After a moment of regaining his breath, he tilted his head. "Almost beautiful enough to unlock the location."
You startled as the vibrator turned up a notch, and your vision almost went black. Fuck, you needed to cum so badly. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. Your legs were trembling from the effort to hold back, your body on fire from the pleasure of the toy. One of his hands gripped your chin again and gently turned it, so your gaze met his desk.
"Oh- Oh!"
At the same time, his other hand had pressed the clamp more firmly onto your clit, and you nearly came right there. With a grunt, biting your lip so hard it would surely bleed, you managed to fight that high off. "Y-Your desk...?"
"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" He crooned in your ear. "Go on. Try my desk, doll."
You shakily stood, not even caring how your arousal dripped down your thighs, or how his cum leaked out of you. You stumbled to the desk and began frantically pulling the drawers open. You almost cried in frustration when all but two opened, not bothering to look at the other drawers. He surely had it locked up.
Undertaker came up behind you, hands now on your breasts. "Now, which one do you think has the folder? Guess correctly and you win. Guess wrong, and you lose."
The right drawer seemed like it might... but so did the left drawer. You almost couldn't think, hands gripping the edge of the desk until your knuckles turned white. At this rate, you had moments before you lost, and he knew it. So which one would he put the folder into? He wouldn't make this so easy, would it?
Your eyes widened.
"It's..." Your voice broke. "It's not in there," you managed, turning. "Is it? You've had it this whole time, haven't you?"
He merely tilted his head, watching you. "Is that your final answer?"
I can't lose...
"Yes." You stated as firmly as you could, leaning against the desk for support. "I know you have it."
A grin spread over his lips. "Clever~" He reached into his shirt, producing the desired folder. "It's all yours, but first..."
In a flash, he had you on top of the desk, cock buried inside you. The vibrations increased on your clit as he thrust, and in a second, you tumbled into pure pleasure. Loud moans filled the shop as he fucked into you, pushing you through your orgasm. Your vision went white now, head spinning as you could feel nothing but him and yourself, the only two people in the world for this moment.
"UNDERTAKER!"
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Darkness greeted your vision when you finally woke. Something soft was all around you, and you groaned. "Nhm...?"
"Careful, doll," a voice crooned by your ear. "That was quite the orgasm you had. Almost thought I lost you there." You felt something warm on your face. "Shh, don't fight. I'm cleaning you up."
His face came into focus after you squinted your eyes, trying to clear the blurriness. Gone was the cruel amusement. His expression was soft, almost... sweet. He continued cleaning you up, careful to avoid your sensitive parts.
"I... passed out?" You rasped.
"After doing such a good job of winning, yes. You're in my bed now. You'll need to rest for a day or so," he explained, pulling back. "Especially when you're going to be in such a fragile condition soon. I've already contacted your estate, and they know you'll be taking a leave of absence."
"Wait, what?" You rubbed at your eyes, noticing you were indeed in his bed. He'd never let you up here before. What the hell was going on? But you were too tired to fight, just watching him. "Fragile condition...?"
"Isn't it wonderful? I'm certain you'll be with child soon. After all, that little betrayal made me realize I should officially claim what's mine, and what I want. Don't worry, you'll be a mother soon." He chuckled.
"So, doll, how do you feel about a nighttime wedding?"
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fromchaostocosmos · 3 months ago
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I have been really tired of this shit for long time and I'm only getting more tired and sick of it.
I understand that many education systems do not a great job at teaching everything they should and/or doing a proper job on the things they do cover.
And I know the Holocaust Education is one of those things that for all many places may educate on the reality is they do an abysmal job if not an out right failure.
But how many times do Jews and Romani people have to tell you that the Holocaust was all about focusing the entire might of the Nazi regime on the total wholesale slaughter and eradication of our people's for you to get that in your heads.
At what point will be like hmm maybe making the Holocaust about me isn't such a good thing do.
And this goes out to queer community especially because I really find myself struggling to understand why you do this?
I was on a youtube video and saw this which already pissed me because I hate this poem with a passion and fuck Martin Niemoller.
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To which these were the replies
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And so I wrote a comment
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(I do hate that I have censor that way because I don't know what youtube will let through.)
I'm really just so fucking sick and tired of this bullshit over and over and it is nonstop and you know it is only going to get worse under the current administration.
There are whole parts of our communities that are lost forever and will never come back because they murdered.
The Holocaust is not some abstract thing for us. This is our history, this is our families.
This wasn't some unit in a history text book, this is something that Jewish and Roma people carry with us all the time.
And what we learnt and what you learnt are very different things.
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jellybeanium124 · 7 months ago
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Stede excused himself from the brightly lit ballroom with two hundred chatting people and loud band to go to the bathroom. He sat on the toilet for five minutes in the brightly lit bathroom as other fundraiser guests walked in and out, doing their business and washing their hands.
All he wanted to do was go home. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to be wearing a suit, he didn't want a fancy meal. This was unusual for Stede. He normally loved wearing a fancy suit while eating a fancy meal and talking nonstop, but he was tired and his whole head and body was buzzing. His suit felt too tight and itchy, and he swore he could feel tags rubbing against him, and his shoes hurt.
He left the stall and washed his hands and started wandering around. He shouldn't be doing this, abandoning the party to snoop around like a curious child, but he couldn't go back in there. What was he supposed to do? Go find Mary and stand behind her while she talks like a functioning adult? He didn't even know why he felt like crap.
The entire building the party was being hosted in was bright and fancy, but at least here in a random hallway with benches and candelabras on the walls and plush velvet carpeting, it's quiet.
He turned a corner and saw a man sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall where a bit of it juts out to form a small corner. He's got his knees tucked up to his chest.
"Sir, are you okay?" Stede asked, walking over to the man.
He looked surprised to see someone. "What? Yes, yeah, I'm fine. I'm with the fundraiser benefit, that's why I'm here. I just... needed a break."
"Me too."
"...You wanna sit?"
"Ok."
Stede sat down on the carpet next to the man, and stretched his legs out.
"I'm Stede," he said, holding out his hand.
"Stede??" the man echoed, shocked. "Shit, Stede Bonnet?"
"Um... yes?"
The man seemed to grow shyer, and looked away. Stede put his hand down. Then he pulled his knees up and sighed.
"You've probably read those articles, right? About Bonnet Suits? Where I'm the silly spoiled son of an evil Disney villain?"
"Yeah... might've..."
"Well, Mr. Teach was right about some things. My father is evil. There's no appealing to his humanity no matter what. He won't make any of the changes I want to make in the company. That's why everyone thinks I'm so useless. Maybe all my ideas are stupid anyways... I just have stupid ideas..."
"What are your ideas?"
"Pay every single employee who works in the factories making suits for us the equivalent of $15 an hour. Every single one. I've done the math 40 different ways, it's possible! We could pay them more, but I've got to start somewhere. My father always shuts me down and tells me I'd be throwing away hundreds of millions in profits. I've stopped trying to convince him to do something by explaining how this will help the people who make the suits that made him fucking wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, and right now I'm working the whole 'everyone loves human rights this will get us more customers and we can charge more if people think we're sustainable' angle but even that's not working. I can't take it anymore. I have a little boat. I bought it as a fiftieth birthday gift to myself. It's sitting at a pier in Rhode Island right now. No one knows about it. Not my father, not my wife... once I grow some balls I'm going there and getting on my boat and I'm not coming back."
The man blinked at him.
"Sorry... fuck... I don't know why I said all of that. Fuck, there's journalists at this thing. I'm supposed to be doing good for my father's reputation, not sitting in a hallway talking about what a piece of shit he is..."
The man swallowed. "Yeah..."
"Enough about my stupid problems, you really don't seem okay. Are you sick? Should..." Stede cut himself off and looked at the floor.
"Should...?"
Stede shook his head. "Nothing. You came out here for some peace and quiet, and I'm fucking it all up. I can go now."
"I wouldn't mind if you sat and we had peace and quiet together."
Stede smiled at him briefly, before leaning his head back against the wall and letting out a sigh.
For a few minutes, the two of them sat together in silence. It felt a little good, at least, to know that there was someone else here who couldn't stand to be at that party longer than thirty minutes. A kindred spirit, maybe. A potential friend.
"I'm Ed Teach," the man said quietly, after a few minutes had passed.
Stede's heart dropped through the floor.
He was sitting next to the man who called him an ineffectual, under-qualified, empty-headed heir to a despicable fashion fortune. And he was right.
"Oh," Stede said.
"That's it? 'Oh?' You're not going to have me thrown out? No yelling? You're not even gonna bribe me to stop talking about your dad's company and the shit he pulls?"
Stede shrugged. "Eh, we deserve worse."
"You're a lot different than I thought you'd be."
"You're a lot different too. I thought you'd be a ruthless and mean sneaky journalist."
Ed sighed. "It's hard being like that all the time... I thought you'd be a prick. A real entitled asshole."
Stede smiled gently. "At least one thing my father never gave me was his personality."
Ed nodded. "But y'know, if you're really serious about change, why don't you just fucking do it? Stop waiting for your dad's approval, go to Cambodia and Bangladesh, and pay them out of your own pocket? Running away to Rhode fuckin' Island isn't gonna help anyone."
Stede cocked his head at him curiously. "Could I do that? Go behind my father's back and just... pay them out of my own savings? Is that legal?"
"I mean, you can give people money. You can write checks. You could write me a check right now. That'd be legal."
Stede raised an eyebrow. "Writing a check for my nemesis journalist? That'd be awful suspect, even if it's legal."
"Okay okay okay not me specifically, but, like, you can do that. You can write checks. I know you're sitting on millions and millions of dollars, Bonnet."
"Okay," Stede said, standing up. "Let's go."
"Let's?"
"Yes. Let's go. Fuck em."
Ed stood up. "Now?"
Stede nodded. "Now. Let's get our passports and board the first plane we can. I'm going behind my father's back, like you suggested."
"And you want me... to come with you?"
"Of course. Presumably I'll need a journalist on my side when this shitstorm goes public," Stede said with a manic smile.
~~~
Obviously, our juvenile stunt didn't immediately solve everything. Bonnet Sr. still had access to Stede's finances, and drained his bank accounts so the millions he gave out in checks would bounce. But our stunt wasn't without its value. It immediately brought public attention to Bonnet Suits, and the fashion industry and its abuses in general. Bonnet Sr.'s now infamous meltdown during his interview for Reuters caused him to step down as CEO, leaving Stede to take over. Over the course of the following year, Stede made sweeping reforms inside the company, all according to plans he'd spent years trying to get his father to implement. Yesterday he publicly announced that he's retiring, and now here I am, retiring as well. People often compare us to Romeo and Juliet, with one reporter who shall remain nameless calling us "just as fockin stupid as those teenage twats." And perhaps we are just as stupid and headstrong as them. I did get on a plane to Bangladesh with a billionaire approximately 5 hours after meeting him (he'd never flown on a commercial flight before, he was adorably excited about trying the "airplane food" and requested a pin with wings on it like kids get). But now it's been well over a year, and I'm still stupidly in love with him, so up yours. I'm going to retire and spend the rest of my days eating fresh lobster rolls and relaxing on my husband's little boat. Journalism has no doubt taken years off my life, so I'm going to spend whatever time I have left happy.
Take it sleazy, Ed Teach
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isa-ghost · 1 year ago
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do u have death family headcanons....
NO FUCKING MAMES I HAD 14 OUT OF 15 DONE FOR THIS ASK AND THEN TUMBLR YEETED THEM. I'M GONNA SCREAM AND COMMIT MURDER, IDR THEM ALL. FUCK.
ANYWAY YOU BET YOUR GAY ASS I HAVE DEATH FAMILY HCS.
qPhil headcanons masterlist
Family walks, Chayanne on Phil's shoulders and Lullah on Missa's. Or they do that thing where there's one kid between them and they take either hand and lift/swing them together.
Family gardening. Missa using his reaper scythe to harvest things, Chayanne and Lullah replanting seeds, Phil going full crow brain and hoarding all the harvested crops in crates.
The kids are Phil & Missa's biggest wingmen. Lullah will lead them somewhere and then be like "Oh. Oh nooo, oh noooo my asthmaaaa" and teleport away. And then suddenly there's Chayanne with a table for 2 and an entire kitchen setup with a dinner in progress.
They'll plot "relaxation" days for Phil and Missa too. It's a toss-up if either of them actually relax though. Missa's better at it than Phil at least.
No one cheered harder about the prison kisses than Chayanne and Lullah. They wish their dads a very "do it again. Often."
Phil and Missa are constantly conspiring together about cool things to do with/for the kids. Even when they're away from each other they'll write books leaving the other a message like "shhh don't tell the kids :)"
They'll also plan days Just for one of the kids where whatever the family does is centered around their interests. It's nice for them, because although they have mutual interests and are more than willing to do whatever the other wants, they still have unique interests and it can naturally get tiring being a package deal. Especially when so many of the other eggs are only children and get doted on by their parents with undivided attention
They get separation sadness a lot bc reaper duties and Phil's extremely deep sleep/vivid dreams keep them apart so often, but their little system of leaving gifts (Missa his paintings, Phil misc trinkets) for each other works. It's not as good as a hug or quality time though :(
Everyone's passing each other's accents to one another. Missa finds himself slipping up saying "bewk" (book) or some shit, meanwhile Phil keeps saying stuff with a Spanish accent because of Missa and Lullah and everyone keeps adopting German words into their vocabulary because of Chayanne.
Phil and Missa are both good at pvp, they love sparring with each other and teaching the kids. Chayanne is way more into it than Lullah, but Lullah loves to learn regardless, and she loves hearing Phil infodump about strategy and timing and whatnot.
Missa and the kids will team up and get Phil on one of his Philzaing rants. They'll be like "what do you MEAN you couldn't physically carry all three of us on a flight? :(" and there Phil goes, raving about how weight matters with flying and safety and blah blah blah. And he KNOWS they're getting a rise out of him most of the time. Yet he falls for it every time.
One day,, one day we'll get a 4/4 family build project,,, They want to do it do bad,, So far it's just been 3/4 make it and the 4th is delighted to be shown it by the kids whenever they're around again. (August 2024 Edit: KILLS MYSELF)
Phil and the kids have started half-purposely obtaining as many birds as they have bc it's funny to see Missa come back from reaper duties to MORE birds that he just has to accept live there now.
The kids love Phil's crow murder to death (pun intended) and are used to interacting with them. Missa not so much. Which has made for countless funny moments. He's still bewildered that they're so attuned to throwing something shiny at him and then aggressively cawing. He doesn't understand them like Phil can.
Something something the four of them having a seance together where Lullah taps into her medium abilities to communicate with Kristin bc Goddess of Death is part of the Death Family. She loves to tease Missa (usually about Phil) and she ADORES the kids.
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Text
I love you with the force of a life I dreamed I'd one day get, never believing possible.
I love you with a rage so deep I find myself at awe in what you inspire in me, even when my blood boils.
I love you like I needed a better childhood to express.
I love you like you show me all the ugliest parts of myself for me to face, just to show me they're illusions.
Like I love you, and also fuck you, and also my life without you lacks this magic we've been living in that I begged and prayed to a god I stopped believing in in my youth to find something honestly lesser than you.
You love me like I'm a different character in my life than ever thought I was, and I much prefer this set, this self, this path so much better.
You are prove that my gods love me and want me to be happy despite all the muck of this existence, and it's persistent foolishness in all directions.
Loving you is a nightmare I didn't know I'd enjoy having.
Loving you is facing demons older than me, darker than I directly know, and feeling like the brightest light that's ever crossed your sky.
If another star bright as us ever came past I'd let you know that love too, even if it changed everything, but of what it took to keep that damn smile on your face during what felt like my hardest and most shameful moments.
I love you ferociously, and like I'd let you draw a sword without caring to reach for mine.
You frustrate like nothing I've known, and you've held me in ways I didn't think I even wanted.
You are a bright moon in my sky heating my waters passed my levels for sense and stillness.
Loving you is a full time commitment that feels challenging and exciting to learn after I've been through.
You make me tired, and you show me how to relax; teaching me what I've been teaching others when I've been doing too much.
I love you through religions and oddly positioned paths that force me to expand and reconsider myself in my own reality.
What is love if not historical records? What is love if not practiced kindness regardless of this moment?
Goddess. Sadist. Student. Companion. I trust you enough to believe in loving you know matter what comes.
Bless this love. Bless this love. Bless this love.
I do not want to fear where this love will take me. I don't want to be lost in a world that polishes it's own shit to offer up others; hating themselves the whole time. What good is this life in this world if love is not a chief reason among it. I honor the call to transform, not to be worthy of love, but let myself believe I am, from you whom I adore. I didn't think a love could be this confusing and fulfilling and this dance so deep, so exhilarating to ride.
Death to the life and self I knew before. Death to concerns I was too foolish to realize sooner didn't matter. I've feel so dumb and accomplished at the same time, achievements higher than my self esteem that I didn't know I kept so low.
My possessive heart sought other lovers to honor you, if only there was another to share in this transformative dance we've been learning together.
May the flowers of our hearts blossom, moon after moon, year after year, clashing ways and honest tenderness. Let the fruit of this love taste amrita and honey. I cleared a life for this love, for this path, for a leap into the mysteries of this existence; always beside you.
I think is how Goddess worship ought be done.
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ravennasgf · 2 months ago
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Prompts List
will be updated, I haven't had time to finish it
Fluff:
"you can tell me anything"
“You remembered"
"stop looking at me like that"
"has anyone told you that your eyes sparkle in the moonlight?"
"you wrote me a song?"
"I didn't know you could sing"
"I'm proud of you"
"get some rest you work to much"
"so hear me out"
"you cancelled plans for me?"
“It’s not that bad”
“Define normal”
“Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair”
“But i want to hear you sing”
“Is that my shirt?”
“Is that a drawing of me?”
“You're a little shit, but you’re my little shit”
angst
"how did you find out?"
"don't lie to me"
"am I not important to you anymore?"
"I thought I lost you."
"why are you here?" "Because I care about you asshole"
. "I never forgot you. I couldn't"
"tell me who did this to you"
"are you ashamed of me?"
"you're not going to deny it?"
"you didn't stop them."
"don't touch me"
"there's just no pleasing you, is there?"
"I tried so hard."
"I did everything you asked and it still wasn't enough"
"when did you start lying to me?"
“Bold of you to assume I care”
“Walk out that door and we’re through”
“Touch her and your dead”
“Please pull the trigger”
“Oh - don’t fucking do that”
“Who hurt you?”
"Just go back to sleep, I promise to be here when you wake up."
“You don't need to be the strong one all the time. Besides, even if you're not strong at that particular moment, it doesn't mean you're weak."
“When was the last time you ate something?”
“i shouldn’t have said it…i know.” “then why did you?”
“are you fucking serious?”
“I was six!”
sad/ comfort
"it's not bad to cry, in fact i think it makes a person stronger"
"can you hold me"
"shh, you're safe with me I won't let go"
Humour
"Technically speaking it's not my fault"
"All things considered, this could have been worse"
"we have a problem" "let me guess you caused it"
"I might, might have made a mistake"
“Let's take a moment to recognise that I had nothing to do with this"
"looks worse than she is my fucking arse"
"If I die i'm haunting you first"
"we might have a problem, ask me again in half an hour"
“Why the fuck is there a cat in my bed?”
“Why is there a dog following you around?”
“WHERE DID YOU PUT MY COOKIES?!”
“Were you dropped on your head as a child?”
“I’m gonna need therapy after this”
“I already know I'm going to hell. At this point it’s go big or go home”
“I can explain. This isn’t as bad as it looks”
“You’re trying to kill me aren’t you”
“What did you do?”
“I’m off to commit murder or buy ice cream, i haven’t decided yet”
"I have never met someone so intelligent, yet so incredibly stupid at the same time. Then I met you."
"I swear you two have a collective of a singular brain cell, you both have half each."
"What the hell is going on- Actually, you know what? Forget I even asked."
"move, you're on my side of the couch."
“If you do that again, i’ll throw you out that fucking window you~what are you doing?” // “Checking how high the drop is, see if it's worth it
Family
“We would still be happy without you!” - alcoholic mother
tucking them into their cozy nest of blankets - mother taking care of child
Parents teaching their kids to cook. Insert a lot of mess and flour but also a ton of fun.
"You are the best child we could ever wish for."
"You tired bub?"
"I'm so proud of the person you've become!"
"[Parent]? I could really use a hug right now..."
"Why did you never tell me they were my other parent?"
Found family
"You feel more like family to me"
“I never imagined myself to have a daughter. But if I would have, I would have wanted her to be just like you.” - found mother
"We'll protect you with our lives"
"If you had to choose between me or your real family, who’d you pick?" "Why do I have to choose? You’re my real family anyways"
"You're my family, I take care of my family!"
“this is your room. you can decorate it however you'd like.”
Birthday
"i heard it was someone's birthday!"
Specific moments
First words
New parental figure comes to the family
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ghostofasecretary · 3 months ago
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going insane. sasuga.
postulate:
when you want something to happen, it's good to take steps towards it or it probably will not happen
postulate:
people are likely to avoid things that feel bad
premise:
if both of these are true i have a fucking problem.
i hate! being this guy! i hate being up too late talking about how i haven't done my homework. i feel like i'm in high school or some shit and that feels *bad* on account of *high school fucking sucked* and i didn't like my life very much back then
(i mostly still did my homework except for the time i failed two classes. like. that did happen in midterms and i had a little mentie b or whatever. (after my grandma died? in senior year?? no, surely it was junior year, i remember how suicidal i was that break. it was...right, i think my school only did final grades, not midterms, i worked all Christmas to pull them back up.) i pulled my grades up through the power of generous teachers, actually. other people are often kind.
fuck!!!
question: if there is no reward for your efforts why make them?
answer: THERE ARE REWARDS, they're just long term ones!
also knowing i tried my best is usually rewarding but. at the moment. i think my best is pitiful and that feels bad
addendum: unfortunately for me, god's scrunkliest little bat, there are also a lot of ~adversives~ in this situation.
premise: shame is a bad motivator
supporting evidence: i haven't done anything since getting home and i literally just took my sleeping meds an hour after the Latest Possible Acceptable Time to do that and i didn't eat a real dinner and i'm still in my fucking work clothes
statement: i'm tired.
statement 2: taking a 7am class was a bad idea!
so glad i didn't take the 5am one! but also! when you know that you usually prefer to do One Thing Per Day, and to prep for that thing several hours in advance, in defiance of reasonable evidence-based arguments that you should do multiple things in smaller chunks per day. well. then maybe. you should make it so you aren't expecting yourself to wake up at 5am to prep for your 7am class if you want to do anything, OR stay up till midnight, or otherwise fuck up your sleep schedule *with no promise you'll actually get the work done or FEEL ANY BETTER*
issues:
- my skill level and knowledge base AS IT CURRENTLY STANDS makes doing this work. like. extremely difficult. it certainly feels like my options are a) put 8+ hours of work a week into it or b) fail.
- i'm intimidated by the people i'm in class with and i feel like i'm fucking up both my reputation + the environment of the class for everyone else
- in the past i HAVE tried doing the things i've done in similar classes. put, like, at least 4 hours of work in? i did thirty minutes of work earlier today. i'm not doing *nothing,* i'm just. fucking. failing?? it feels like no amount of work would be enough to keep me from failing???
- all i ACTUALLY have to do to "pass" is show up every day. this does not make me feel better because i like being good at things and feeling like my presence improves the world around me as opposed to the opposite of that
- i don't have a spare 8 hours! i barely have an extra four hours! this class happens on my Dedicated Study Day BUT, ALSO, CRITICALLY. IT HAPPENS AT 7AM.
- theoretically i could spend all my Monday coworking time and an hour after work each day on this? practically. i need to, like. do my accounting. fix my thrifted and old clothes. wind down after any long days of teaching. clean my room. eat food. make food to eat. and that would still only get me 6 hours. and i'm not sure that even fucking bridges the gap!!
[ - i need a second job so bad how the HELL am i supposed to manage any of this what the FUCK man]
- in the past i have prided myself on two things, academically. 1: doing the fucking work. 2: being willing to ask dumb questions and make an ass of myself if it means learning. turns out 2 is contingent on 1, at least in this context. as the kids say: Unfortunate.
- if i hadn't put this on my grad school apps i would seriously consider just. like. dropping this. i'm still considering that tbh. if the less advanced class weren't at, like, FOUR AM i'd consider switching to that and i've also considered emailing the instructor like "re: my failure to show up to your class prepared and able to participate. sorry. um."
and then i don't send that email, because i don't know what i WANT
- this isn't my first time failing a class. i've failed classes in high school. i went insane over them and somehow pulled it together. ...i'm not, like, objectively failing, i just FEEL like i'm failing.
- there's a fucking. easy bit of work we do every class that i could prep and i'd always rather do the Real Reading because that's what i *care* about but i don't have the *skills*
- last time i was this outclassed i WAS A FULL TIME STUDENT WITH A SUPPORTING LANGUAGE CLASS :/// SO I COULD DO 8 HOURS OF WORK AND IT WOULD MATTER!
and i still freaked the hell out a lot!!!!
(there were zero random respected profs there as my ""classmates""!!!!!!!!) (AND IT WAS IN THE AFTERNOON SO I COULD WORK ON IT ALL MORNING!!!)
- i can't afford to be this fucked up about this shit. i need to do other things with my energy and i need to feel good and i need to like living and i need to WANT to do this thing i do actually *like* when it's not *terrifying* and excruciatingly difficult!!
current thoughts:
i can actually just keep failing and showing up and disappointing myself and probably my instructor and classmates every day. like. there's no grade or threat stopping me, just Feeling Bad. historically that's not a great combo for me because i pick Feeling Bad over Massive Amounts Of Work While Feeling Bad every time and it never fucking feels good. since neither one feels good. and i'm tired and stressed so! what then!!
i should do Baby's Easiest Bit Of Work and then go to bed.
blaming everything on external stressors i chose to accept in the first place, especially when i have so much inner angst, feels very dumb. but that doesn't make it necessarily *wrong*
(also remember when my grandpa died and i showed up to class the next day? that sucked. this sucks! the material is fascinating and the language is beautiful and the people are lovely and i feel like i'm walking over hot coals made out of shame!!)
let's try, next week, a little experiment. the experiment is called Fuck It, I'm Just Showing Up. we'll do the very easy thing and nothing else unless we want to. rock up to class like i'm not a waste of space. listen and take notes and try to learn things and enjoy the experience.
i don't actually think it'll go well? but THIS (*gestures at the last ten-ish (non-linear) weeks of trying and failing to do the work adequately or. like. At All*) is going very badly indeed so something has to change. we'll try it.
the worst thing that can happen is that i'll feel stupid and look bad, right? and i already feel stupid and think i look bad.
...well, no, the worst option is that i'll feel stupid and like i could have done more and CHOSE NOT TO and i'll STILL look bad and it will be 100% my fault and i'll just be mad at myself forever.
find me 8 spare hours to spend re-teaching yourself a language and transcribing it between alphabets and translating objectively difficult language and then we'll talk, asshole. for now: FUCK IT. GO TO BED.
it is too late to chew over this for ages. you can ask friends for advice later. sleep!!!
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raes-secret-pjo-account · 4 months ago
Text
You are in love (chapter 3)
Nice to meet you, where ya been?
Jason's car breaks down and he goes to a certain mechanic (leo)
JASON
Hello. My name is Jason Grace. I am the son of a man named Jupiter who runs one of the biggest companies in the world. My mother is Beryl Grace she took care of my older sister Thalia. Thalia moved away when our mother died but she told me she is back in town so I was supposed to go meet her. My car broke down on the way there. I had already called a tow truck when I dialed Thalia's number.
The call went something like this:
"Hey Jason where are you?"
"Hi uh Thalia I might not be able to make it right now,"
"What?! Why are you okay?"
"I'm fine my car just broke down,"
"Oh then just fix it,"
"I don't know how to fix a car"
"What are they teaching you are boarding school!"
"Not mechanics,"
"Do you need me to come pick you up?"
"No I already called a tow truck,"
"Those cost money ya know,"
"You know I work for dad right?"
"How often do you see him?"
I didn't want to admit it but I rarely saw him at all. "Often enough. . ."
"Whatever, get back to me when you can and we'll meet up then kay?"
"Okay bye,"
Then Thalia hung up. When the tow truck finally came they asked me some questions and other stuff before letting my in the truck as they tow my car.
"So where do you want your car to go?" The driver asked me.
I thought about it for a moment, "the best mechanic you know please," I reply to which he chuckled a bit.
"Valdez it is," he said before continuing to drive.
We arrived at a garage that looked dirty and cheap. The sign at the top read VALDEZ but the bottom half of the L was falling off.
"Yo Leo I got a customer for you!" The driver yelled before I paid him and he left.
Then a scrawny boy came out from behind the garage. He looked like a Latino Santa's elf. He whisled in admiration when he saw my car, "woah, this is a nice car man, what year and model is it?"
"It's a 2022 and I don't really know my dad bought it for me," I replied which sounded kinda bad.
The boy just scoffed, "so your a spoiled rich brat, got it," he said inspecting the car some more.
I won't deny I am rich but I am certainly not spoiled. "I'm not spoiled," I snapped at him.
"Woah there," he put his hands up on defense his hands and the rest of him were covered in grease. "I'm just saying what I see. I'm sure you've had a very tragically hard life," he was joking but it wasn't funny to me.
Then a girls voice shouted, "Leo Valdez!"
"Ah fuck," the greasy boy sighed.
A girl walked in with her auburn hair in a pony tail her white shirt and jeans were also covered in grease. "You have other cars to work on what are you doing!" She yelled.
"Calypso, I'm just talking to a new customer, besides look at how cool this car is!" He said with excitement.
"I don't give a shit," she snapped, "finish those cars then work on this one!"
"Okay okay," he said defeated and he began to walk away.
The girl, Calypso sighed, "alright how may I help you," she asked brushing some of her hair out of her face.
"My car broke down on the side of the rode and I need it fixed," I explained to her.
"Alright let me get under it. You can wait over there if you want to sit somewhere," she pointed towards some chairs near a desk I'm assuming is the front desk. I gave her my keys and she drove the car to a spot in the garage.
I sat in the "waiting room" where I could see both sides of the garage. It was clear they split it in half cause Calypso's side was more neat and organized while Leo's had tools strewn about all over the place. I couldn't help but find myself watching Leo. He had music on while he worked, it was some old 80's song that he hummed along to. He worked with such precision, at least I think he did. I don't really know jack shit about cars.
Calypso came back, "one of your cylinders is busted up and your tires look like you've been hitting curbs for fun, you buy a cylinder and bring it here and we'll replace the part." She explained.
"Aren't you gonna fix it right now?" I asked a bit confused.
She sighed like I was dumb, "you gotta buy the part before we can fix it. Here call this number when you go the part okay," she said handing me a card with their number on it. I nodded.
Leo cam over, "hey Cal I-"
"stop calling me Cal,"
"okay well I finished that car can you take it for a test drive?" He asked.
Calypso was quick to respond, "why don't you take that car for a test drive to wherever he needs to go?"
Leo sighed and tapped my shoulder, "cmon rich bitch," he said jokingly. His comment reminded me of my ex girlfriend Piper. She broke up with me a month ago because she told me she is gay. I'm fine with that, we're still friends.
"My friend Piper always calls me that," I say as I get I to the passenger seat of this car. It's a Toyota pruis.
"No way I have a friend Piper too," Leo comments as he starts the car.
"So where are you headed?" He asked.
I thought about going to my house, the I thought maybe going to my work, then I remembered, "um can you take me to this park?" I ask showing him the address Thalia sent me earlier.
He shrugged, "weird place but okay,"
We began driving and after a bit of awkward silence he asks, "So why some random park?"
"Well I was supposed to meet my sister Thalia there." I explain.
"is she also a 'rich bitch'?" He asked jokingly.
"No actually, she lived with our mother who was really poor. After she died she still refused to move in with me and dad,"
Leo looked perplexed. "Well if she won't move in I might! I could buy so much useless shit with all that money," he teases and it makes me laugh. A real laugh. I don't think I can remember the last time I laughed like that. Leo. I didn't know him that well but not just anyone can make me laugh like that. I was willing to hold onto that.
We arrived at the park. "Thanks for the ride," I said leaning on the open car door smiling at him.
Leo smiled back "any time man," he the drove off.
I saw Thalia and another girl so I walked up to them. "Hey Thalia I made it," she looked at me.
"Good job," she said sarcastically. I looked over at the other girl she had invited instead of me.
"Hey your Reyna's sister right?" I asked. I knew Reyna from boarding school she and I were best friends but after I told her I wanted to be just friends she didn't talk to me again.
"Oh so you're jason," she said with a hint of distain. Was Reyna still mad at me? After all these years.
I shrugged it off and continued to chat with the both of them. I kept think about that guy from the mechanics. Leo, Leo valdez. He was weird in a charming way. I couldn't stop think about
☆ミ☆ミ☆ミ☆ミ☆ミ☆ミ☆ミ☆ミ☆ミ☆ミ☆ミ☆ミ
Chapter 1
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billygoat26 · 11 months ago
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The amount of times people have said that gays are p3dos and are forcing the LGBTQ+ stuff onto everyone and then those same asshats proceed to push THEIR IDEAS ONTO US...
Or compare us to Nazis
Or try and provide scientific evidence that we're ped0s and tell us to stay away from the children. I've been accused of being a ped0 and the temptation for me to respond with "bitch I'm a minor myself, fuck off" is great because it's true.
I've legit been told to "police your community" and when I said I couldn't they basically said I was being a pussy (not those exact words) and when I told them I was a minor and what the fuck did they think I'd be able to do they just stopped responding lmfao
I've also seen people complaining about "where's straight pride month?" Like bitch you don't NEED one. You're not killed for who you like or don't like, you're not attacked (verbally or physically) because of how you identify, so get over yourselves and either ignore it or support it.
I'm tired of people who call themselves Christians using their religion as an excuse to be a bitch (not all of them, I've seen some who support. To those I give my respect). I've seen people use ai-generated images of the devil teaching kids pride, or the devil stitching the pride flag, or a parent using a shield against a rainbow and "protecting" the kids. I know pride was the original sin, but that's not what Pride Month is.
We don't think we're above everyone else. We just want to be accepted for who we are rather than all the shit I wrote above happening.
One of the people I've responded to I guess is religious and I specifically told them not to pray for me because I'm happy with how I am and don't waste their prayers on me... guess what? They retweeted my reply that said NOT to pray for me and told their prayer group to pray for me. Why? Because my "hardened heart" had been "destroyed by pride".
I just want to be me without the world seemingly being against my existence, for any future kids to be able to grow up in a world where shit that happened when I was in 6th grade won't happen to them, where they won't be hurt for being them, where people won't accuse them of being something they're not.
We're not mentally ill because of who we like or how we identify, we're not p3dos or Nazis or anything in between. We're people like you. You want the kids to be safe, but what if they're part of the LGBTQ+ community? Do you just disown them and stop giving a shit about them? Hypocrisy at its finest...
If you're gonna be anyone, don't be like the homophobic asshats on twitter. Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. That's the golden rule right? The one so many people promote yet don't follow? Yeah, learn it. I'm not perfect, nobody is. But we can try to be the best versions of ourselves rather than stooping to levels so low as described above.
Love yourselves. You're enough, you're amazing the way you are. Don't change yourself because of how others perceive you. Change yourself because you want to, because you like it.
Happy pride month everyone and stay safe out there. The world is a cruel place, don't let it break you down. <3
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ppystkposts · 5 months ago
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hey, just so you know, that person vqler that you reblogged from a lil bit ago groomed a bunch of kids. i don't think you know about this, no hate to you just thought u should know. really sucks they came back.
https://www.tumblr.com/feathergail/725133180051537920/i-didnt-want-to-have-to-talk-about-this-but-i?source=share
Hello
I didn't want to talk about this, nor get involved, as it's none of my business (I didn't have an account when this happened)
I will only say one thing for you guys, from the bottom of my heart.
Every individual has their own experiences, culture, education, etc.
So let's start to worry about actual concerning stuff? There's a bunch of real predators, and as someone who doesn't only have an online life, I've seen so many gross old men.
I don't like talking about this, but I was almost a victim myself.
As I said at the beginning, this is none of my business, and I hope not being involved in this bs.
If you are worried about the kids, then why don't you destroy the real predators' lives? They are literally everywhere, sending dms, commenting on tiktok videos, and buying images of little children. And they are hiding because they know what they're doing is gross and horrendous.
I'm so tired of this internet thing... where people only care about looking good and sounding smart when they don't actually give a shit. If you have nothing to gain, why are you making people destroy someone's else life?
I'm protecting the kids I care for, not exposing them, and teaching them how scary the world is. So tell me, what are you doing for them?
Speak for your fucking self!
I won't defend or accuse anyone, I don't know them, I'm not a victim, and I don't have proofs.
You want to be a hero, right? then why are you hiding when you have so much conviction?
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ozimagines · 2 hours ago
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Hey! I hope you're doing good! I was wondering if you could do an imagine for Chico or Miguel and how they would be with someone from the South. I'm from Alabama and was always curious if they would be into a Southern chick or not lol.
Heyyyyyy I knew we were soulmates but this is freaky. I’m also from Alabama. That’s where I teach now too, I moved from Florida. Who can resist our southern charms? 😂🥰 I think this is such a fun request. I’m here for it. I also read your other ask saying you want it real real country. Child, I’m no southern belle, I’m a real redneck, I got you. I’m a daycare Bible teacher in Southern Alabama. My accent is thickish, you just can’t tell through the typing. So in this piece I’ll be writing closer to how I talk irl.
Miguel Alvarez x Southern!Redneck!Reader
Tumblr media
Alvarez didn’t have really any experience with country folk
He was born and raised in the city
His veins pumped traffic and he breathed skyscrapers
That’s part of what made you so damn fascinating
He clocked your accent first, something he wasn’t familiar with at all
You and he crossed paths in a grocery store
He was behind you in line and was reading the news on his phone when you said something to the cashier that made him flash a stare your way
“They ain’t Piggly Wiggly prices but they’ll do me fine.”
He smiled beside himself and chuckled a little, even if he wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, having never been to a Piggly Wiggly in his life.
“I say somethin’ funny, stranger?” You ask, and Miguel instantly feels he’s insulted you, when he meets your gaze and you’re just smiling at him, amused.
“I… uh… it’s just your accent. It’s… you’re southern.”
“Hardly noticed it myself.“ you pay for your groceries, still grinning at him from time to time.
“Sorry; I don’t meet many people from the south is all. You’re new to the city?”
“Nothin’ gets past you.” You joke again, eying his groceries up and down. Whereas yours is mostly produce, his is microwave meals and canned soups.
“Now, I know this must be out of turn, what with that Masterchef bundle o’ ingredients in that basket there, but could I offer to cook ya a meal in return for some city knowledge.” You wink. “Y’know; professionally speaking.”
“You know Masterchef?” He asked, and you rolled your eyes.
“I’m from the South not Mars.”
He informs you that he’ll take that meal and dole out some of his city knowledge.
“Well, I thank ya kindly. I’d be much obliged to learn yer name.”
“Miguel. Alvarez.”
“Well, Mr. Miguel.” You say it like Mee-geyl. “I guess I’ll be seeing ya soon. So long, sweetheart.”
He’s beaming the whole way home, something about the interaction lighting him up for the rest of the day.
You come over to his place, and he hurriedly shoves some hoodies and boxers into the closet before you get there.
“I’m guessin’ you don’t know much about soul food either.”
“Not really.”
“Seafood and sausage gumbo comin’ right up.”
You get your ingredients together and start on your recipe. Miguel watches in awe. It’s kinda hot seeing you be all domestic and shit.
At some point the cauldron of good smells started to go a deep brown, and he realized he couldn’t recognize any part of it.
“That’s the secret to good gumbo, y’know. Not being able to recognize any individual ingredient. It pulls together somethin’ beautiful. You gotta get the roux all brown without burnin’ the flour.”
Miguel’s lost in the canter of your accent, only half listening to your words. He knows the accent is everyone’s cup of tea, but he digs it. You’re brash but in the best way. Loud and unapologetically so.
You serve him his gumbo and a small smile forms on his face. It’s great. Really great, even if he wouldn’t know what it’s supposed to taste like anyway.
“What brings you to the city?”
“Got tired of living in bum-fuck nowhere.” You reply honestly and he snorts. “My town didn’t even have a Starbucks. We got our first movie theater a seven years ago. It’s fine for some people but I just got tired of all the nothin’s and nowhere’s.”
“Ain’t nothing but excitement up here.” He remarks and you ask what he means. He turns red before explaining Oz. You watch him, silently taking in his story. He’s worried he blew it. You ask him what he was in for. He reluctantly tells you. You’re silent another moment.
“You beat up an ol’ man for scratchin’ yer car?”
He nodded solemnly. You thought, before saying;
“Damn… my momma’d tore my ass up.”
He releases a shocked laugh, then another, until he’s boisterously laughing.
“I think I understand that.”
“She’d’a made me pick the switch too.”
“Ok I definitely understand.”
His heart lightens a little at the humor. It made him feel good that you didn’t treat him like some sort of monster.
The night is drawing to a close and you both are talking about places in the city versus places in the country. Publix’s versus Whole Foods’ and Winn Dixie’s versus Kroger’s. He even found out what a Piggly Wiggly was.
It was fun hearing about your life.
“Before Prom we had dinner in Abilene Moore’s entertainin’ barn-“
“Entertaining barn?”
“It’s like the style of a barn or farmhouse but it’s meant for holdin’ parties and dances and suppers… or outdoor fuckin’. No animals.”
“…is that… common?”
“Only for folks with land. The Moore’s and Sessions’ and such were the big farm names in my town. Owned the peanut and cotton crops.”
“I meant the farm-fucking.”
“We like to fuck. We have a lot of barns. You do the math.”
“Thought you were all super Christian.”
“Baptist. They’re the most promiscuous fucks when you get ‘em goin’. Especially the preacher’s daughters. Kayleigh was my church’s. She’d get on her knees for every Jesus, Tom, Dick, and Harry and once, so says the rumor, a blonde named Harper.”
“Damn.”
You tell him about boiled peanuts and he instantly crinkles his nose. You react with mock offense.
“Hot, wet peanuts?”
“Stop sayin’ it like that it’s one of the best foods on God’s green earth. All the agriculture kids at my school ran those booths at the fair so you have to be super nice to ‘em. Football/Cheerleaders and Ag kids. Those are the popular ones.”
You check your watch and note that it’s late. You go to leave and he walks you to the door.
“Am I gonna see you again?”
“Can you imagine if I said ‘no’?” You joke.
He blushes and goes to shut the door. Your foot is stopping it.
“It’s a sin, y’know.”
“What is?”
“Fallin’ in love like this an’ not kissin’.”
His face burns. He doesn’t need anymore encouragement and so leans forward to kiss you in that soft yet forceful Miguel passion.
He invites you out to some of his favorite spots. Gets you food you can’t find easily in your neck of the woods.
One day, in the middle of a walk through the park, a sad sight to your eyes based on the nature trails you’d hiked but you don’t say much on it until asked, Miguel gets a little courage.
“Am I your boyfriend?”
“Depends.” You don’t miss a beat.
“On?”
“Whether or not I’m yer girlfriend/boyfriend/partner. It’d be a helluva one sided relationship without it.”
You’re funny. You always make him laugh.
It’s hard for him to not fall in love quickly. He doesn’t have very many nice things in his life.
He gets used to your cooking immediately, realizing he really appreciates Cajun and Soul foods.
He listens to some of your music. He doesn’t particularly care for the Christian Country melodies but he really likes Bluegrass. It’s kinda cute, cozy even. He also appreciates Brad Paisley.
Your song together is Today.
He appreciates how well you can take the heat. He’s generally warm all the time, so the summers kill him. He likes getting cool in the summertime but you sun yourself like a lizard.
“Yankee ass bitch.”
That said, the winters kill you. You get cold every time it’s below 70 so you turn into an icicle in the winters in the north.
You’re shivering and pathetic and Miguel is always wearing a hoodie to give the best warm hugs.
He loves the way you say things.
Instead of saying “go get a pencil” you say “get you a pencil”.
Instead of saying you’re going to do something, you say you’re fixin’ to do something.
Warms him every time he hears it. It’s almost a turn on for him specifically.
Everything you have is monogrammed and he teases you for that all the time.
“Monogram your toilet paper why don’t cha?”
“You forget that was your towel?”
“Good. At least now the strangers on the subway will know your initials.”
Half your wardrobe is from Simply Southern and the other half is from boutiques in your town like Younique Boutique and the Consignment Cat.
The real kicker is “bless your heart”. Miguel hears you use it once and falls in love. He thinks it’s the sweetest thing in the world, that you’re blessing people’s hearts. You hardly have the heart to tell him it’s not a sweet thing lol
“What does it mean then?”
“‘You’re pretty.’”
“That also sounds nice.”
“No, like you’re one of God’s special people.”
“…that also sounds nice.”
Southern insults the him a while.
He also thinks it’s stupid that you call all sodas “coke”. You think it’s stupid when he says “pop”, so you’re even.
You want to take him to the south one day. Until then, you’ll bring a little southern to this city boy’s heart.
One could say he’s happier than a pig in mud with you😘
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