#i'm just hoping other people see the dots and connect them the same way i did

[synonymroll648]

y’know that feeling when you realize hanahaki disease could actually be canon compliant thanks to the worldbuilding surrounding the gnomes? and then you remember that sophie is technically part gnome? 

[sammy-is-not-smiley]

Let It Hurt (Pt 2)

Steve Harrington x fem!reader (afab)

Summary: Steve has been your best friend for years despite his douchery in early high school. You would tell him anything... well, anything except for the fact that you've been feeling his physical pain since elementary school. The way he finds out is less than ideal. But he's been keeping secrets of his own...

Word Count: 5.2k (I went nuts lol)

Warnings/Tags: Soulmate au (kinda), language, no use of (y/n), depictions of severe pain, depictions of torture, injuries mentioned, crying, kind of a breakdown, angst, a period is mentioned so reader is afab, set in season 3, soulmates to lovers, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort (yes there's eventually comfort this time, I promise)

A/N: GOOD GOD Y'ALL I did not expect the last one to absolutely blow up. I've gained like an extra 100 followers from all this so thank you so much. I wouldn't have written something so loved if I hadn't gotten a request. If you have an idea you wanna entrust me to write, don't hesitate to jump in my asks! I love hearing from people. (p.s. angst is my favorite to write) Now here's your part 2!

Part 1: Right Here!

You awoke to echoes of screaming. You didn't want to open your eyes, the light in the room behind your eyelids was already making your head throb with a vengeance.

"Help!! Someone, help!" Robin's desperate voice rang out, the sound bouncing off the walls and judding into your skull. It was then you realized you were sat up, straps compressing your legs, arms, and chest. You were bound even more than before.

"Hey, would you stop yellin'?" You heard Steve's voice grumble behind you.

It took you a moment to register it was him, but when you did, a small light of hope lit up in your chest. You lifted your head up slightly, trying to take in a breath. The pain in your head stemmed down your neck now. In fact, it encapsulated your entire skull.

"Steve! Oh my god," Robin exclaimed, still a bit too loud for your taste.

"Steve?" You croaked out.

"Oh my god! Oh my god, you're both awake," She chuckled slightly, simply out of disbelief. "Both awake. Um, are- are you okay?"

You shook your head no as if she could see from where she sat behind you.

Steve took in a breath. "My ears are ringing, I can't really breathe, and my eye feels like it's about to pop out of my skull…"

"That checks out," You muttered, not intending for anyone to hear. Nobody seemed to.

"But you know, apart from that… I'm doing pretty good." He finished, his nose sounding stuffy. They really liked hitting his nose.

Robin let out a breath. "Alright, well, the good news is they're calling a doctor for you both."

There was a moment of silence before Steve registered her words. "Both?" You felt him turn slightly in your direction. "They hurt you?"

"No," You quickly replied.

"Wait, I thought-"

"Robin, shush," You snapped too loud, making your head throb again.

It was silent once more as Robin connected the dots. Steve didn't know, and you didn't want him to know. "Right, no, I meant… I meant just for you Steve."

"They didn't hurt me," You tried to reinforce. "Robin's just… tired."

"Oh." He uttered, clearly confused.

"Hey, guys," Robin changed the subject. "I have an idea. Steve, you see that table to your right?"

You felt Steve turn his head to your side.

"No, your other right."

"Oh," Steve looked the other way. Apparently the table was behind where you sat.

"You see those scissors?"

"Uh-huh."

"I think if we moved at the same time, we could move over there, I could maybe kick the table, and knock them into my lap."

You snorted, turning your head in her direction. "They left scissors in here with us?"

"What morons," Steve laughed. He was definitely letting on that he was doing better than he felt.

At the count of three, you all scooched in unison, Steve and Robin to their side, you backwards. Just as you finally were seeing some light at the end of the tunnel, only a mere few feet from the table, you all over shot your momentum. All together as a unit, the chairs slid out from under you and you all fell to the floor with a hefty clank of the chairs.

At first you groaned, but then a grin slowly spread across your face. "Shit," You giggled with no choice but to look up at the ceiling as you laid on your back. This was all insane. Absolutely insane.

Robin was obviously feeling the same as she began giggling as well. She shook under you, small squeaks bubbling from her.

"You- You guys okay?" Steve asked, clearly not gathering what could be so funny to you both.

"This is fucking ridiculous," You half suppressed a laugh.

You felt Robin nodding. "I can't believe I'm gonna die in a secret Russian base in a sailor costume." You could hear the smile on her face, jovial despite the situation. The comment only made you laugh harder.

Just as your giggles died down, the door burst open once again and men flooded the room. Your giddy moods were cut short, instantly replaced with terror. Over you now stood a man in uniform, obviously some sort of high ranking official, probably the man in charge. He towered over you, shaking his head and tutting.

"You wake up too, eh? Good," He smirked, looking over the predicament you three had gotten yourselves into. "Where did you think you were going?"

He gestured with his hand, motioning the men in the room to lift you all back upright in your chairs.

"P-please-" You nearly whimpered when sat back up, nothing on your mind but to simply beg. What for, you weren't sure yet, but you were scared and desperate.

"Let us try again," The man said, ignoring your plea. Slowly, he circled around you all, like a predator observing prey, before making it back around to Steve.

Your eyes followed the man as he brought his hand up and thumbed Steve's busted lip. Not only did it elicit a wince from Steve, but you as well.

Your stomach dropped as soon as it happened, making you quickly turn your head away from the man hoping he didn't notice. However, the tingling on your neck told you he had, and he was staring right at you.

"Don't touch him," You breathed. It came out a lot less menacing than you intended.

The man hummed, standing up straight again and murmured something in Russian to one of the men. You watched as the guard walked over to Steve, grabbing him by the hair and raising a fist.

"Wait, stop!" You jolted, fighting against your restraints.

Steve struggled as well, gritting his teeth. "No, no, no, no-"

"Shush!" The general yelled, driving a spike of pain into your skull. He leaned down in front of you, eyes squinted, analyzing you for a moment. Then a question. "Who do you work for?"

"Scoops Ahoy," You responded like it was obvious.

Without hesitation, the guard over Steve delivered a swift blow to the eye socket. You yelped in pain as Steve groaned, now being held up by his hair. You on the other hand were allowed to drop your head, once again tasked with withstanding the pain.

Your breath stuttered in your throat. "Please, s-stop, it… It hurts…"

The general tilted his head, then grasped your chin roughly, tilting your head up and tilting from side to side as he examined you. There were no notable injuries on your person. Other than squinting the same eye as Steve's bruised one, not a scratch was on you. You wanted to kick yourself when you realized he took notice of it, glancing between you and Steve.

His brow was together in thought as he once again gave a command you didn't understand.

Another punch to Steve's jaw made you flinch in the general's hand, pitifully letting out a sob.

Another command, another punch, right into Steve's aching ribs.

If not for the straps holding you upright, you would have once again doubled over. Instead you only moved slightly against the mans hand, your abdomen visibly tensing.

"Stop! Stop it, you bastards!" Robin screamed, however to no avail as she was promptly ignored.

The general let you go as you silently suffered again, standing upright and smiling down at you. "Very interesting…"

The men scattered around the room as soon as another command was uttered from the man's mouth. Hands surrounded you all as the men tugged and removed the straps holding you as a unit only to strap you down again, individually in each of your chairs this time. They pushed Robin into the corner of the room, then grabbed Steve and slid him in front of you to face you. Only then did you see the extent of his wounds. Dried blood smeared on his face from an obvious nose bleed, uniform stained red, his eye a deep shade of purple and nearly swollen shut. Anger bubbled over inside you at the sight, making you finally find your voice.

"Don't touch him, he's had enough!"

The general simply smiled at you as he pulled a red handkerchief from his pocket, then circled around behind you.

The last thing you saw was Steve, worry written all over his face. Then you were shrouded in darkness as the handkerchief was pulled over your eyes, secured at the back of your head.

"What are you doing?" Steve panted as he watched. "Don't you dare hurt her, I swear, if you do anything to her-"

"Oh, not to worry," The man behind you interrupted dismissively. You could hear his footsteps walking around you back to Steve. Your teeth began to chatter as your adrenaline was surely hitting its peak now.

What did they not want you to see?

"We will not hurt her. Only you will."

"What-"

"Just sit. Watch your friend carefully, hm?"

It was silent for a moment before there were footsteps again, then Steve burst to life. "What is that? Wait, no, stop, get that away- Agh!"

Pain instantly webbed over two of your fingers as if they were slowly being crushed by a tool. You fought your restraints and flexed the hand in question, small whimpers emitting from you helplessly.

The pain gradually got worse as Steve yelled and begged, as did you. Then it steadied to a single ongoing pain. "Stop-" A cry slipped from you.

"Where is the pain, little one?" The man called over to you.

You shook your head, mostly in confusion, but the man interpreted it as resistance.

The pain fluctuated, making you lurch. "Agh- Th-the hand! His fingers, the first two fingers," You sobbed in defeat. "Stop, stop, please stop, make it stop…"

The pain was relieved then, if only enough to assure you they weren't going to break Steve's fingers. The ache of a bruise would remain and you flexed your hand again as if it would help. You still let out a sigh of relief.

Light stung your eyes when the blindfold was pulled off, now soaked with tears. When your eyes adjusted, you looked up to meet the half swollen gaze of Steve. Realization, hurt, sympathy, horror, all of it was draped over his face like a thick veil as he stared back at you. You looked down and saw the red impressions on his fingers from whatever had been clamped down on them. Next to him stood a man in white, a metal tool held in his hand.

The general stood there, holding Steve's head up by the hair to watch you. The man's grin was borderline psychotic. "Congratulations, you were correct."

You closed your eyes and lowered your head, teeth still chattering. The jolly expression on the official's face told you he planned on using this new information completely against you. Especially the longer you overstayed your welcome.

The man in power looked over to the man in the white overcoat, the man you assumed was supposed to be the doctor Robin mentioned. Another command in Russian, and the doctor walked to the table behind you. You couldn't bring yourself to look up at anyone, especially Steve.

"Now, try telling the truth this time, yes?" The general asserted as he wandered his eyes over each one of you. They pulled Robin up next to you both again. "It will make your visit with Doctor Zharkov less painful."

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Your body swayed slightly before you let yourself lean back onto the side of the ambulance, watching the smoke rise. The mighty Starcourt was completely destroyed. Destroyed by a-… Well, you had yet to fully comprehend what it was and the events that had even transpired. All you were able to understand clearly was that you were alive, along with a couple adults, a group of middle schoolers, and your co-workers…. Could you technically call them co-workers now? Maybe just leaving it to friends was safer to say.

Your stomach was still a little queasy from whatever drug that doctor had injected you with, and your muscles ached from overexertion. Your eyes were so heavy they felt swollen, yet you knew if you laid down, sleep wouldn't come to you easily. Watching the last remaining flames and the smoke ahead of you was mesmerizing. Like you were sleeping with your eyes open.

The moment was broken as your face twitched a little in pain. Steve must have accidentally scratched his stitches again.

You hadn't looked at him since you all threw up in the bathrooms together. In fact, once you were sober, you had walked out claiming to need another drink of water from the fountain. After that, events happened so quickly you could hardly keep up. You were grateful at the time to have had something to distract you both with. Even now you were trying to distract yourself.

Bringing your hand up to your face you rubbed your forehead, a headache still refusing to leave you and Steve be. You'd come to accept that the pain probably wouldn't subside for a while.

Robin rounded the ambulance, wrapped in a security blanket. Her eyes were still red and it was clear she needed sleep as badly as you. Yet there you both were, still up and running.

"Hey… They look over you already?" Her voice was more gravely than usual, most likely from all the yelling she had done while you all were held hostage.

You nodded, still gazing at the wrecked mall. "Other than a couple bruises, I'm fine."

"Mm-hm," She hummed, clearly unconvinced.

"What?"

She rested her shoulder on the ambulance, leaning in closer. "Look… I don't fully understand a lot of what's happened, but I do think you need to talk to Steve. At least before we go home."

You sighed begrudgingly. You knew that was probably what you should do, yet all you wanted to do was hide from him. "What would I even say, Rob?" You mumbled.

She snorted then, causing you to look at her. "Dude, all you'd probably have to say to him is 'hi' before he'd do all the talking. He always has shit to talk about."

It was your turn to snort. "Yeah, sure…" You sniffled then, guilt blossoming in your chest. "It's… It's because of me they hurt him more…"

"Yeah… I-I mean no!" She caught herself, making you smile. "That all was just…. It was…. A lot. What was all that? With the Russians I mean, and the blindfold?"

By this point, and with everything you had gone through together, you thought Robin could handle what you've kept to yourself for so long. After all, your empathy with Steve was by far the tamest secret of the night.

You let your head rest back on the ambulance and closed your eyes. "I've been able to feel his pain ever since I was a kid," You let out in a breath.

When it was silent for longer than you liked, you looked to her worriedly. She was simply staring at you, looking as though she were thinking.

"You can feel his pain? Like, all of it?"

You nodded. "Physical, yeah."

It took her a moment more, hugging herself in the blanket as she thought. "That…. Makes sense actually." She snapped her fingers and pointed. "That's why they did that stuff, they tested you!"

You nodded, a shadow of gloom over your brow.

"And that's…. Why you passed out. Because he passed out."

Another nod.

"And he doesn't know, does he?"

You couldn't help but give a grin then, not one of joy, but more out of nihilism. "Of course not."

"And why, exactly?"

"I don't know, I just…. Got into the habit of keeping it from him. I think in general I was just scared. Scared I would scare him away or make life harder somehow." You hugged yourself, finding it hard to look at even Robin now. "I couldn't lose him… or bear him not believing me."

Robin began giggling, catching you off guard.

"What?"

She shook her head, dragging a hand down her tired face in exasperation. "I seriously doubt he would do any of that, especially after tonight. Also, you weren't in the bathroom when he talked about you."

"Talked about me?"

"Mm-hm," She nodded. "You're not the only one keeping secrets."

Your eyes widened and you pushed yourself off the ambulance. "The hell does that mean?"

"Nope, no more," She put her hands up defensively, "I wash my hands of this, I'm not enabling you any further."

"Oh, come on, Rob-"

"No! The only way you'll get more is if you talk to him yourself," She smirked. "Or do I have to actually drag you over there?" Her thumb thrown over her shoulder, she pointed to Steve in the neighboring ambulance, speaking with the paramedic. For the first time you looked past her to gaze at Steve, his shoulders sagged as he had an arm wrapped around his abdomen. You could feel the bruised ribs he was cradling.

You looked back at Robin, giving her a small pout. She returned it, although much more sarcastically. Simultaneously, you both broke out in smiles and giggles.

"You're a dick," You said, shaking your head.

"Only when you guys are idiots."

You rolled your eyes, turning to glance at Steve again. This time you caught him already looking at you, swollen eye and all. He raised his hand ever so slightly to offer a tiny wave, as if he were scared he would drive you away again.

You gave a tiny wave back.

"Fine," You muttered, walking past Robin and making your way over to him, eyes trained in the ground.

From this angle, the police car lights flickered blue and red over Steve's face, almost hiding the fact he was covered in purple bruises. Slowly you slipped next to him, sitting on the bumper between the open doors. Loose gravel crunched under your feet on the asphalt.

"Hi…"

"Hey…"

A shiver ran up your spine, but you weren't sure if it was from the breeze or your nerves.

"So, uh, Robin said I should talk to you."

He nodded, a single strand of grimy hair bouncing to his forehead. "Yeah, she told me to talk to you too."

You blew a puff of air out of your nose in a laugh. "Was that when you wouldn't stop talking about me in the bathrooms?"

Steve let out a laugh then, scratching the back of his head. "She told you what I said, huh?"

"Nah. Only that you said stuff. She left me on a cliffhanger just to get me to come over and talk to you," You dryly chuckled.

"Hm," He replied, "So you were kind of ignoring me after we got out."

You grimaced, looking down at your beat up shoes. "Yeah… Look, I'm sorry, I really didn't wan-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He interjected, turning to look right at you.

"... Tell you...?"

He scoffed and shook his head in disbelief. "That you can feel this," He lifted his arm and pinched it.

Your hand balled into a fist at the pain and you looked away. Why were you still so scared? Why did you still feel so shameful about all of this?

"You figured that out, huh?"

Steve shifted himself closer, close enough now that your shoulders were touching. "I'm not upset, okay? I just…" He sighed. "It's all so crazy. How long have you been able to feel it— When I hurt?"

You chuckled lightly. "A while. Since like elementary school."

"Shit," His hand reached out and grasped yours. "Look, if I had known, I would've-"

"I know-"

"No, you don't," He turned himself to you, bare knee bumping yours. "You really don't know. You don't know how much I would have done differently. How much more I would've cared, how I would have treated you better, how I would have… How I would have stood up to my dad somehow…" He paused, then cleared his throat. "I wouldn't have thrown myself into fights as much if I knew you were out there feeling everything, thinking you couldn't say a thing about it. If I had known, I would've realized you understood me more than literally anyone I've ever met."

You could feel your nose begin to tingle, a clear warning of tears threatening to bubble up. You pursed your lips, not trusting yourself to reply.

Steve scooched even closer, his knee now pulled up and resting behind your back, his other on the ground. He smelled of sweat, smoke, and blood, yet somehow a small wisp of his cologne still lingered. It all mixed together into a scent that would only ever remind you of this night.

His warm hand left yours to delicately glide up your opposing cheek. You sniffed as he pulled your face to turn and look at him.

"If you had told me, I would have told you that I've felt things too."

Your brow softened when your eyes went round, your heart sinking to your stomach. "Things?"

His face went downcast for a moment, as if in some sort of regret. "Remember when you dislocated your wrist in 3rd grade? And I went and got help?"

You nodded. You remembered the teacher had come to help you after Steve ran off, but then he didn't come back. The next time you saw him wasn't until school the next day. You had been upset that he hadn't come back with the teacher to help or even come over to your house to see if you were okay after school. He had apologized when you went off on him, but that was all. As kids, it was easy to just forgive and move on. Play the next game of tag.

"You were pissed at me… I ran and hid from you because I felt it too." He scratched his chin, looking off at the demolished mall. "That was the first time. It freaked me the hell out. I felt when it happened, and I felt when they popped it back in a few hours later at the hospital. I could tell when you bumped it wrong or strained it. I could feel it all." He looked you dead in the eyes then. "And everything after that."

You shook your head, your brow laden with confusion as you put your hand over his on your face. "You never said anything either…"

He smiled softly and shrugged. "I didn't think you had to know. To be honest, I thought it was all just some weird hallucination or something."

Your expression shifted into one of disapproval.

"Oh don't you even," His smile grew at you, "You're just as guilty for not telling me."

"Yeah, I…. I know… I'm sorry," You muttered, the wounds scattered over his face taunting you again. While only a few hits had been delivered upon the discovery that Russian general had made about you, all of the injuries hurt the same. Both physically and otherwise. "I guess we all have our secrets."

Steve moved his other hand to cradle your face fully, his face moving closer to nearly rest his forehead on yours. While smiling only a second before, his eyes were now filled with something more serious. Something you had never seen directed at you before. It made your attention on him freeze and heat rise to the back of your neck.

"Well, while we're confessing secrets… Can I let one more slip?"

You couldn't tear your eyes away from his, which you quickly noticed kept darting down to your lips. Was he really doing this?

"You… have another?" You squeaked, voice barely audible.

He nodded. "If you'll let me show you?"

You dumbly nodded back, your mouth slightly agape and eyes as round as a couple of full moons.

He leaned in, finally resting his forehead onto yours, one of his hands sliding down to the nape of your neck. When your noses bumped he turned his head slightly, fitting your faces together like a puzzle. His breath brushed over your lips, puzzle pieces almost completely flush.

A jolt went through you like electricity by a single thought. "Wait-" You pushed him back slightly at the chest.

His eyes shot open, gazing at you in anticipation.

You didn't continue, only stared at him a moment, trying to get a handle on the speeding thoughts swirling your mind. Your pause was just long enough to watch sorrow cover his features.

"I read it wrong, didn't I?" The hand on your neck slid down to your shoulder in dismay, the weight of it heavy.

"No… No! God no, I just…. There's…." You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to think. "You don't… Have to do that… if you dont really want to."

He tilted his head. "Who says I don't want to?"

You shook your head, biting your lip nervously. "You don't have to be close and sweet like that just because you feel bad for me." The tingling returned, tears now visibly welling.

Steve leaned back further, far enough to be able to start analyzing you. His eyes darted around, trying to pick apart what you had just said. "Because I feel ba-?… You think I want this just to make it up to you somehow?" He challenged, his thumb stroking your cheek in an attempt to possibly keep you calm.

Alas, a tear still escaped and dripped down your face. "Yeah you don't have to get with me like that just because you feel bad for a few fights, okay? I'm not upset that you-"

"That's not why," He deadpanned.

"Huh?"

"That's not why I want to kiss you."

The tears froze, as did the internalized denial of the situation at the utterance of those words.

I want to kiss you.

"I mean, it's part of it," He admitted, "The whole pain thing I mean. But I don't want this because I pity you or anything or because I feel bad for getting beat up. I mean sure, I never want you to feel that again, but… You have to know those aren't the only reasons, right?"

All you could do was stare back down at your lap, fighting the additional tears threatening to spill and flood the whole parking lot.

"Shit, you really don't…" He muttered, letting the hand on your cheek slide upwards into the roots of your hair. "You're so much more than just that empathy to me. Really, you are, you hear me?"

You sniffled, once again squeezing your eyes shut causing a round of tears to fall down at rapid fire. Steve caught all of them with a gentle brush.

"Seriously, you're one of the funniest people I've ever met. You have the prettiest eyelashes, the most adorable laugh, and you're hell of a lot smarter than I am," He lightly joked, reaching down to grab your hand once more. "You've helped me be better, forgave me when I didn't deserve it, and let me rant to you about whatever shit would piss me off. And you care so much about Henderson and his nerd friends. My life would be so sucky without you... even if I do have to feel your god awful period cramps." He snickered. "I want you in it more for as long as possible. I want you closer."

Despite the joke, your body shuddered in a frame wracking sob. The emotions were now pouring out from you in violent waves. The tears weren't just from Steve, it was buildup from the whole damned night. A dam of hurt, fear, sorrow, anxiety, disappointment, horror, regret, sadness, and pain had been building up over the course of hours and hours. Suddenly, this was the pressure that made everything come flooding out… and you couldn't stop it.

"Oh, babe," Steve cooed, his soft hand hooking your neck and pulling your face into his chest. The pet name sparked something inside you, but it was quickly engulfed by the absolute tornado of intensity ripping you apart from the inside.

Steve couldn't feel your emotions, true, but he could feel how hard you bit your lip trying to stifle any noise that tried to escape. He could feel your body shudder in his clutch. He could feel the wet tears you rubbed into his shirt. And he could feel his heart breaking, not because he was hurt by you— hurt that you thought he would do such a thing to you out of guilt. No, it was because you had genuinely thought he couldn't love you like that. He could see the denial in your face, the false belief you must have come to adopt over time.

Steve waited patiently for you to calm, rubbing your back and resting his cheek on the top of your head. Your lungs began aching with each breath, your throat was going dry and burning. Eventually your choppy inhales slowed and your whimpers began to cease. Deep breaths became easier to take in and the blur in your vision cleared. When you came back to the moment at hand, you realized you had brought your legs up off the ground and to your chest, leaning against the warm body beside you. In a ball, Steve had wrapped around you like a shell, rocking you ever so slightly.

Your body shook again, this time in a small laugh. "I should be the one comforting you, you know. You're the one with broken ribs and stitches in your face."

You felt him chuckle against you, the sound rumbling your ear against his chest. He smiled, relieved to hear you joke around again. Tilting his head, he looked down at you trying to see your eyes. They were finally open again.

When you caught his gaze, you stared back up at him in attention, eyes red and nose runny. While you were sure you looked like hell, all he could see was the damp sheen of tears and sweat highlighting his favorite parts of your face.

"Can I please kiss you now?"

You let out a breath as you sat up, wiping your nose with the back of your hand. "I'm all gross, though."

He grabbed the back of your neck again and gently yanked your face to his. "Shut up and just let me kiss it better."

You rolled your eyes. "You're such a dork-"

His lips greeted yours, warm and soothing, the obvious pain of his busted lip cast aside just to feel each other's being. Your chest exploded once again with overwhelming feeling, but this time it was manageable. It was more than manageable, in fact, it was welcome. It was no longer a spark sucked into a gloomy tornado, but a ray of light, casting a sensation of healing rays from your chest outwards. Both of your movements melded together like clay, as did your breaths, creating a back and forth that you had been longing for. It was as if you were charging each other with hope after a night full of negatives and hopelessness. It was like being at home again after being gone for so long.

He was the first to pull away, his hands holding your head with a slight tremble in them. It made your heart swell. He was just as worked up as you.

"Ouch." He said under his breath.

A woozy smile burst over your face, rays of light reaching the surface. You brought your hand up to lightly brush your thumb over his bottom lip. "I think this should heal more before we try that again."

He shook his head, eyes drooped with lovesick admiration. "Let it hurt," He mumbled before leaning in once more, pressing his mouth to yours.

You accepted it with a grateful hum.

A/N: Thanks again for reading! Seriously loved the new people flowing into this blog and the comments you all leave. It means a lot. My confidence is boosted <3 Requests are open!

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[mary-laib]

OKAY WRITING ABOUT JWCT SHIPS TIME:

Sammy x Yasmina

10/10

I love their relationship and how they have come so far throughout cc and ct. Also less to do with the ship but I especially loved how Yasmina was shown in ct to have worked towards facing her fears and has gotten so much further than Sammy, who has been ignoring her problems. There's like nothing to hate about this ship. Everyone agrees they're perfect.

Kenji x Brooklyn

3/10

I've been waiting for them to break up since they got together. She was great for him in the beginning of their relationship, helping him become his own person and becoming less egotistical, but she has refused to change with him, which has made their relationship stagnant. I thing their relationship was good for Kenji and I'm glad they got together if only so that she could help him figure out how to be his own man, but past that, their relationship was pointless and I hope it never gets rejuvenated.

Ben x Darius

8/10

I love them as bros and honestly, despite their obvious closeness and the fact that I would like to see more of their interactions, I see them as more platonic, especially with what Darius said about his crush on Brooklyn. Not because of him liking Brooklyn or girls in general and you'll see why in a minute. But I also wouldn't be mad to see them get together. They're both nerds and I love them.

Darius x Brooklyn

2/10

Honestly, I feel like the same things that caused a rift in Brooklyn's relationship with Kenji would also tear apart her relationship with Darius. And it's stated in the show that it's unrequited. They're good friends, but while he'd probably rate her as his top friend and vice versa, I feel like we can collectively agree that there are other friendships he has that are less toxic. Also the love triangle thing feels so weird when the girl cares less about both the guys combined than either one feels about her.

Darius x Nobody

9/10 The dots have been connected

Now hear me out: I don't feel like his crush has ruined things between him and Ben or Kenji, but some things about what he said regarding his crush and his reactions have made me feel like he is very aroace coded. Which has put a lot of things in perspective for me. Since the beginning of cc, he's been a "power of friendship" guy and rewatching his interactions with everyone, they seem a lot stronger and meaningful as just platonic, rather than romantic. And while everyone around him has been dealing with romance, he's just kind of indifferent to it all until Brooklyn. And his reaction to his crush on Brooklyn just screams repressed aroace with him saying that he never thought he could feel like that (has he never had a crush on anybody before) and how he has completely panicked regarding their relationship. Idk to me, it's giving aroace with a "fake" crush or demi aroace person who has taken way too long to fall for a girl that anybody else would have fallen for after the original bout of mortal danger. He had to be friends with her for YEARS before he could catch a semblance of a crush on her. And it also sounds to me like she was pretty absent in his life before popping in to stay with him for a week, which could also explain why he might he having a "fake" crush (if that is what it is). ALSO: when I say "fake" crush, I'm not trying to downplay his feelings, I'm just referring to something a lot of aroace people experience where you get really close to someone and mistake those feelings for love. And when it happens, these feelings are very intense(speaking from experience). Like how if he's suddenly frequently interacting with Brooklyn again and it's just them, I feel like that kind of situation could lead to an aroace crush. It's all just giving aroace person experiencing their first crush in the most traumatic way possible.

Brooklyn x Nobody

10/10 We love to see a gal feeling herself

I feel like at this point in the story, she has nothing to gain or give by being in a relationship with anybody in the show. Her and Kenji had a decent run while they had it, but it's time to let go at this point. If she does end up with someone, it has to be someone outside the main cast and personally, I'd like to see her with a gal pal. She has bi energy, especially with the new haircut.

Kenji x Darius

7/10

Honestly, I definitely shipped them mid-cc, but at the beginning of ct, I decided I did not want to see them get together. But by the end, I kind of changed my mind. I still think their relationship would be best platonic, but I also wouldn't be mad if they got together. It'd probably be a bit stranger than if Darius was with Ben, but they've also got a strong connection.

Ben x Kenji

0/10

I feel like they've hardly gotten any relationship building in either cc or ct and it needs to happen pronto. There has to be something they can bond over

Sammy x Yasmina and Ben

10/10

I'd like to see the lesbians in a qpr with their hypeman. Ben is just so cute with them and he loves them so much (platonically) and vice versa. It doesn't need to be anything official, but just more of Ben being their third wheel/adopted son would make the show more perfect than it already is.

Ben x His European GF

2/10

I think she's fake, either that he's lying about her so he doesn't lose street cred or that she is lying to him and is a catfish. Maybe we'll see a plot twist relating to the gf, but I'm not holding out hope. She could be redeemed if she was a real girl who was a total kickass and saved the whole group (maybe they meet her at the end of their stowaway boat mission) but otherwise I don't really care about her. Also don't lose hope, people who hc him as gay or aro, there's always the chance that he's bi, lying, or having a "fake" crush like Darius. I know I, as an aroace person have had more online than irl relationships and I'm p sure that's a sign of not being allo, especially when the person you're dating is far away and you have no plans of ever seeing them irl.

Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[abiiors]

Veee could you write something with matty where reader is also an artist (a way less known one) and its just pure fluff with both of them being inspired by one another?

Feel free to ignore ofc!!🫶🫶🫶

muse - matty x reader

a/n: this took a very different direction than originally planned and got slightly existential sorry about that 💀💀 but i hope you like it regardless <33

divider by @/cafekitsune

cw: mentions of smut, talks of death, general fluff and sappiness.

the artist flicks through the feature.

her name is printed in big letters on the cover of the monthly issue, her face--smiling and excited--next to the centrepiece of her latest art collection: cupid and psyche. the painting is stunning, a riot of bold colours and patterns but the at the centre is a man, his face hidden, his jet black curls tousled. his body is relaxed, she thinks there's an air of carefreeness about him.

and she'd know that for sure, after all that day is etched into her memory.

when she feels a familiar pair of arms wrap around her, she smiles.

"you're rather proud of the feature, aren't you?" matty's voice holds a little teasing note. she's stared at the feature for close to thirty minutes now, discreetly pinching herself in the same spot on her arm. (it sports a tiny, barely-there bruise now)

"good," matty nuzzles his face into her neck, softly kissing the skin, "you should be. the exhibit was fucking gorgeous."

"mmm, because you were the centrepiece?" fondly, she teases back, but the memory flashes in front of her eyes--the bustling art gallery, matty in a corner, wearing a plain hoodie and jeans and a cap hiding half of his face, absolutely brimming with pride.

she remembers the journalists asking about the man in all the paintings, the one whose face no one can see. "he's my muse," she says every time, "this collection is dedicated to him."

"someone's going to connect the dots," matty walks around her, settling himself next to her on the sofa. instantly, they rearrange themselves into a tangle--her legs on his lap, his arm around her, her head on his shoulders, his head on hers. "if they looked carefully, they'll make the connection."

"matty, we have been each other's muse for years and no one's found out. i don't think they're going to start now. besides," she snorts, "i think the art world thinks i've made you up in my mind. won't be the first time an artist's gone insane."

matty laughs. "maybe you have. you always say i'm too good to be true."

when she can't think of a retort, she sticks her tongue out, shrieking away when he smothers her in kisses.

"seriously though, it's fun writing about you. singing about you. and i love seeing myself through your eyes." suddenly matty sounds all sober and serious. she thinks his voice even wavers slightly at the end. he blinks quickly though, and just like that the brightness in his eyes is gone.

"love it when you write about me too," she teases, "love being called a gemini and a sexy girl, such poetry."

"oi! i put my heart into that! it's a precious memory for me."

"the memory of us fucking in the new bath for the first time?"

matty giggles like a teenager, hiding his face in her hair. it's fun to rile him up like this, so she continues, poking him in the ribs. "or waking up the next day with a head cold because we stayed in the cold water for so long hmm?"

"you took care of me though, and so i think you deserve to have a song written about you. or a whole album works too i think." then matty tuts. "actually, no. don't wanna tell anyone it's about you, that'll ruin the magic."

"ruin the magic?"

"of being your muse and having you as mine. i think a hundred years from now, when people would see your art as the artwork of this generation, and my music as the tune of our times--"

"tune of our times..."

"yeah, quit laughing at me!" matty flicks her nose, quickly kissing it after. "so when my music becomes the tune of our times, i think people will see it then. they will make the connections."

secretly, she loves the idea--that their love might transcend time and space through their art. that decades from now their names might be whispered together, even though they aren't just yet.

"of course, we'll be buried together by then. same grave by the way, very romeo and juliet of us."

"that's morbid!" she laughs sharply, "what will the epitaph say?"

matty hums for a bit, thinking, his eyes flutter shut for a second or two almost like he needs to focus on the half formed thought until it's a complete sentence. then he excitedly clears his throat and gently holds her face between his hands.

"here lie the artist and the muse; inspiring each other in death as they did in life."

[badaboomx]

Tick, tick (Bada Lee x Fem!Reader)

PAIRING: Bada x Fem!Reader. SETTING: Part three of the SWF2 AU where Reader is a contestant. Previous part here. WORDS: 4k

ⓘ This one contains smut. Ah, I'm quite rusty but I hope you enjoy it anyways. Proceed with your own caution!

If people noticed before, you can only imagine what they’re saying about you and Bada now. 

The tension was evident, palpable and almost suffocating to those around you. A ticking time bomb that was too far gone to deactivate. It was only a matter of time before something happened. No one knew exactly what happened between the two of you, but they could just tell things had changed between the two of you. Your crew only knows you both had talked things, hugged and perhaps maybe almost kissed – but you didn’t tell them about the piping hot sexual tension. Yet, given the way you both were behaving with one another now, your crew was wondering if you told them the truth at all.

At first it was in the details that only those paying attention could catch. 

You both magnetically seemed to find each other closer in proximity now, both looking for the opportunity to interact and to see each other. In the very few times since Bada and you met, Bada opened doors for you, moved to give you space to walk past her, would visibly cheer for you or be hypnotized looking at you. You weren’t slacking at all either, taking some time to walk over to Bada during down time to fix her attire, her hair, any excuse to be up close to her and touch her before letting her go do her work. Her subtle smile was worth it every second, the soft gratitude she showed and the restrain she showed as to not touch you… God, something about that was so hot, like she was keeping a beast caged – and it made your imagination fly.

However, with the Mega crew mission and the subsequent mess after it, you and Bada would have your time cut abruptly short.

In a surprising turn of event, you and your crew landed on the bottom and had to fight your way to remain in the ranks. Until one of your crew members, your very leader, suffered quite the injury. An injury that pushed them out of dancing and that had forced all of you to forfeit your spot on the competition. Without your leader, you do not find it right to continue.

A noble way of bowing out, but bowing out nonetheless. You and the remaining members did cry for leaving such a great roster of talent behind, but such a big experience will not be easily forgotten. Engulfed in many hugs and drying many tears with a smile, your heart truly clenched tightly when you saw – among the mass of dancers – a towering figure looking at you.

Bada didn’t hesitate for a second, taking strides to get to you before anyone could drag you away, engulfing you in such a warm, comfortable hug. Tight, strong, desperate, and you made sure Bada knew you felt the same way by clinging to her, snuggling your head comfortably into her chest. You could feel the beating of her heart again, but you could also feel the bass of her voice as she spoke.

It was a vulnerable plea for you to not leave, not without saying goodbye. 

An interesting realization, this one. Beyond the tension and lust, you seemingly both realized in this abrupt separation that you both actually had far more to explore than just that. The magnetic pull you both felt for each other, dancing together so in sync, the instant connection… 

The world around you stood still or at least they let you have this moment with Bada, so no one heard when you responded. Only Bada could hear it.

Your leader was fine and in good spirits, the entire crew was making them company in the hospital room while visiting hours were still there. Among the heartfelt talk and the laughter to lighten up the mood, your sweaty palms and uneasy stance became the topic of conversation. What began as playful prodding soon turned into your leader connecting the dots sooner than later. 

“Aren’t you going to say Goodbye to her?” your leader whispered to you as the other members chatted amongst themselves and discussed how they felt during the fight. 

You looked at your leader a bit flabbergasted, but you soon shook your hand. “I don’t think we’ll be allowed to. After we’re done visiting, we have to pack up and leave–.”

“You WILL say Goodbye to her,” your leader corrected, pointing at you with that accusatory finger. “The girls can take care of me until visiting hours are done,” she paused, looking at the clock and noting there were still two hours left. “You go and say goodbye, sneak in if you have to.”

With that encouragement, your leader excused you and told you to prepare for packing and let the rest of the people know that she’s okay. The members looked a bit confused at first but then squinted, all at the same time. They would piece it together after you left the room and the leader gave them a shit eating grin.

In the desperate blinks of your eyes, you were in the building. After letting a few people know that your leader was alright and going to recover in the coming weeks, you excused yourself to go to your crew’s hideout, being told to pack up belongings and the sort.

You actually barged into your own hideout with intentions of leaving some stuff behind and going to find Bada but much to your surprise, when you barged in, Bada was standing there. Fist clenched, breathing a little labored, you were almost confused. 

“The security guard told me you came in,” Bada said, exhaling loudly. “I came here as soon as I heard.”

You couldn’t help but to giddily smile at that, making her smile that beautiful smile of hers in return. But none of you moved yet, the door behind you still open. You gave her the sign to wait, looking outside and seeing not a soul down the hall. Coast clear. When you closed the door behind you and locked it, you unlocked part of Bada’s caged beast with it.

It was as if she heard it and did not want to wait any longer, fast approaching you and pinning your body against the closed door with her own tall and sturdy body. The warmth of her body and the surprise already had you reeling and needing more, but she stopped there, eyes traveling between your eyes and your lips – holding back, waiting for your move. But with the way she was breathing, the way her eyes looked, the slightly parted lips that looked ready to devour you? You could tell Bada was almost overwhelmed by desire. 

Playfully, you placed a hand on her chest again and felt her heartbeat, rubbing with your thumb as you spoke. “I can almost hear you growl, you beast," you teased, tugging a smile out of her again. 

“Do you want me to?” Bada playfully replied, making you giggle and shake your head. Once the giggling softly faded, a curious fingertip of hers caressed your jaw, her thumb grazing your bottom lip, too. Relishing in the feeling, like wondering how they’d look swollen thanks to her. Then, she held your chin and did not wait a moment longer.

For the first time since you both started this cat and mouse game, you’ve kissed. Her lips like soft, sweet marshmallows against yours in what began as a chaste and innocent kiss. Within a moment it was engulfed in the flames of passion, both of you instinctively deepening the kiss almost instantly, then you let her lead this passionate waltz. You could hear her soft moans vibrating on her chest as the kiss kept going, as your hands slowly moved to wrap themselves around her neck – and you yourself could feel those unstoppable moans when Bada’s hands boldly traveled down from your hips to your butt, giving them an appreciative squeeze that drove you mad. But the surprise of her suddenly grabbing you by the thighs and lifting you to pin you against the door with an indiscreet thud was enough to make you gasp and pull away from the kiss. Bada was smirking, knowing it caught you off guard, and you could barely say ‘Oh my god’ before she leaned back in to kiss you with a fervor you’ve rarely felt before. This time, her tongue boldly made its presence known, rubbing against yours and wanting more, a heavenly sensation that sent goosebumps down your entire body. It was so wild, the way she suckled your tongue and smirked afterwards, the way she bit your lower lip and encouraged you to do the same, and once you did her moan was so ethereal that you felt like you were losing your mind. It stirred something within you that could only be described as primal, indomitable, and that you hoped Bada would take care of.

Wrapping your legs around her and holding on tightly, you braced yourself for when she pulled away from the kiss. Labored breath soon tickled your neck as she dove in with nibbles, kisses and licks – all with the passion of a woman who was pent up for more than a month since you both last danced together in this very room. You couldn’t help but to moan out her name, tangling your fingers in her soft hair. That seemed to please her, you could feel her smile against your skin as she kept on kissing and biting. As she did, too, she growled softly in between. 

“I need you so badly,” a pause, a kiss, a hand hungrily from your thigh up to your chest. “You’re driving me crazy, I can’t stop myself now.”

“You don’t have to stop,” you softly said, but it sounded more like a desperate plea for her to keep going until she was satisfied. 

And she would not stop indeed, lifting you back up in her arms and carrying you away from the door. You held tightly not out of insecurity that she might drop you, but because you didn’t want to get away from her for a second. Not when you felt yourself throbbing in agonizing need for Bada. She reached the couch and sat down, pulling you into her lap and not missing a beat to let her hands touch all over you with mad desire. Of your own volition, you got rid of that bothersome shirt of yours and let her relish on the feeling of your skin and the natural warmth of your body. To be gawked at like that by Bada, to watch her as she bit her lower lip looking at you like you were the greatest meal she could catch. It made you feel so…

“C’mere,” Bada softly said, holding you closer and diving into trail kisses from your collarbone down to your chest. With every kiss, she took her time, cherishing each inch of your skin like nothing mattered in the world more than worshiping you, sometimes even brushing her nose against your skin tenderly before diving back in. Slowly, her hands caressed your sides and traveled up your lower back, her face burying themselves between your breast and kissing every little spot she could put her lips on – humming in delight at the feeling, softly whispering sweet words. “These feel so fucking good baby,” with that soft tone that drove you crazy. 

Your hand caressed her head and you held her close, intimately close at that. She smelled good and soft, she felt so nice to hold against you, and she was every bit as romantic, passionate and detailed as she was in her dancing. Which only made you look forward to seeing her in action.

So, you wanted to set her off. When she pulled away, she looked up at her with lust-filled eyes and you didn’t hesitate to make the next move. Slowly but surely, you grinded your hips against Bada’s lap, hands resting on her shoulders to hold yourself steady. The moment you did she closed her eyes, bit her lower lip and tossed her head back – a growl came out of her and her hands gripped your hips. You swear you heard her mutter a curse even, which was admittedly an ego boost and it made you giggle. However, she seemed not to lose her mind just yet, so you dove down to that lovely neck of hers and licked a random spot that just happened to hit the spot for her, a guttural moan instantly drawn out of her and her grip on you became firmer. You  tickled that spot with soft kisses, brushing it delicately with your lips and the tip of your nose before delivering one swift bite to it that Bada couldn’t resist anymore. It was as if you almost felt the physical jolt run down her spine that made her hold you closer, made her moan a little louder and made her bold in her coming movements.

You had set her off, just like you wanted.

In the blink of an eye she had put you on your back, growled out a command for you to take off anything standing in her way, helping only after you’ve started doing so. You liked this, just as much as you liked the slow and romantic side of Bada, so you obeyed eagerly. Shoes off, trousers off and you were about to take your underwear off but Bada stopped you, moving to get between your legs. Before you could even question anything, her hand pressed against your clothed pussy and rubbed firmly but agonizingly slowly. By gods it felt so good, a mixture of relief and pleasure that made your body limp instantly, hips bucking against her hands as if to ask for more. 

That kind of response pleased Bada, tugging a smirk on her lips as she applied more pressure to her rubbing. “Look at you,” Bada softly tutted, shaking her head. “So wet and needy already, I can’t let you leave like this.”

Oh, this woman could drive you insane if she wanted to just by talking. You bucked your hips more against her hand, earning another firm and long rubbing but nothing more concrete than that. “Please, Bada,” you pleaded lowly, a whiny mess under her palm. 

With no words, Bada rubbed your tummy tenderly, as if to placate your desperation, leaning in to pepper some kisses around that area and slowly descending to your clothed pussy. Then, without more dilly-dallying, she stuck her tongue out and let you watch it for a second before dragging it across your wetness, from the bottom to the very top of it. Firmly pressed against you, agonizingly languid as she licked but still muffled by that thin, annoying fabric. Just a few times to get you all riled up and extra sensitive for when she finally got rid of that bothersome muffler. Just to catch you off guard though, she dove right back in. A long lick, accompanied by a moan of her own vibrating against your pussy that was all levels of tantalizing – you couldn’t help but to roll your eyes back, arch your back and cling to whatever you had near you. 

That woman had an appetite for you and it was evident by how relentless she was. She licked like she was savoring every little inch and enjoying the taste, over and over. One hand grabbed hold of the nearest cushion while the other landed on Bada’s head, instinctively pushing her head to keep going. But, you could barely keep her head in place once she started giving sharp suckles to your clit, alternating between that and caressing it and licking with her tongue. It was such an exquisite pleasure that shocked your entire body, tensing it up in a way where you felt like you had no control of your body for just a second. Yes, it felt like you were Bada’s favorite toy, but you were more cherished and worshiped than any toy you could think of. The way she delighted herself in tasting you, in finding the spots that made you react the loudest, the way she couldn’t stop moaning with every lick and every suckle. It was perfection. You had to muffle your moans with one of the cushions at this point, feeling like they were getting too loud for the walls to hold them in, and Bada was going to make sure to stretch this moment out as much as she could. Just as you felt that exquisite, warm knot forming in the pit of your stomach, Bada pulled away cruelly, leaving you with no contact and no relief.

You whined and Bada almost laughed, instead seeking to kiss your inner thighs lovingly. Between each kiss she spoke. “Shh, shh, I’m sorry,” a sweet, tender tone contrasted to that hungry beast from moments ago. 

She didn’t want it to be over, as much as you didn’t want it to be over. But the nagging in the back of each other’s mind was that at any moment they could be interrupted by producers, staff or even other dancers coming in to leave their goodbye letters. Gosh, you didn’t want this to stop, but… 

“Bada,” you breathlessly spoke, caressing her head. “Please just–,” a moan interrupted your sentence, as Bada trailed those kisses down back to your sensitive pussy, going back to sucking your clit so hungrily. It distracted you for a second, feeling a stronger wave of pleasure that was soon to build up. But you held strong, and battled to get your words out. “W-we don’t have a lot of time, Bada,” you gulped, grabbing a fistful of Bada’s hair as she hummed in acknowledgement. “I-I want you to come as we–.”

With a pop, Bada pulled away, drawing out a frustrated sigh even though you knew it was probably for the best if she wanted to talk. Such a conundrum you were in, huh? She looked so satisfied with herself though, licking her lips and wiping her chin and smiling at you. “I know, I know,” she started crawling up to meet face to face with you. “I just couldn’t resist you.”

Your ego couldn’t be higher at that moment. “I-I know, but we don’t have a lot of time left.”

“I’m going to be without you for god knows how long,” Bada said, getting up and beginning to take off her sweatpant and underwear. “I had to get as much as I could.”

In the blink of an eye, Bada was between your legs again. You clung to her hoodie as she hovered over you and aligned herself with you perfectly, eyes locked, lips hovering just small inches away from one another. You almost go for the kiss, but Bada starts to move those treacherously good hips of hers, her own wet pussy rubbing against yours. Finally, Bada’s moans and yours came out, unmuffled and together. A little too loud at first, but you both did your best to keep it down. You clung harder, grabbing two fistfuls of her hoodie and instinctively holding her close; Bada kept your trembling legs apart and in place for her to keep grinding, leaning down to your ear to let those restrained moans be heard only by you. Now Bada couldn’t start slow, already too excited to even command her body to go gently. It was like her passion became unrestrained bit by bit, starting at a moderate pace and growing firmer, harder and faster. 

In that moment Bada was stripped from her persona, her restraint, succumbing to her whims and desire for you. She moaned out your name, could barely make sentences – strung together by a thin line in between countless moans and gasps – and desperately held you in place. The rhythm and consistency in her luscious movement suddenly felt slightly erratic, like she was losing control over herself, and you could tell this was true by the way her moans were turning higher in pitch, no longer as subdued. The sheer feeling of Bada losing her composure like that, the feeling of her body getting warmer, her pussy getting wetter and growing more sensitive against yours, that alone was starting to get you closer to your orgasm. Instinctively, you pulled her and made her look at you into your eyes. You cherished that look on her eyes, you let her see yours, before you both leaned in. Lips clashed sloppily, clumsily, tongues clashing frantically as Bada’s hips moved faster. Faster. Faster. 

Until both of you threw each other over the edge, unable to continue kissing each other, unable to stop digging your nails into each other’s skin, with Bada being unable to keep a more consistent pace as she came. In that moment, brief but so stretched out in your perception, Bada’s back arched a bit and her parted lips could only gasp out your name helplessly, taken over by such cathartic pleasure. You couldn’t even coherently call out for her, not as the highest of high kept both of you completely and totally out of your minds.

Then it started to descend, nice and easy, and just like that both of you limply embraced each other. The room, once filled with gasps and moans, now was quiet with some panting here and then. Not a sound could be heard outside, not one single distraction. Just you and Bada coming down from such a mindblowing high.

After a few moments, Bada lifted her head from the crook of your neck, whimpering at the feeling of her oversensitive pussy rubbing against yours at her own movement. You chuckle at it and she smiles, giddily, lifting her body up for a second. “Y’okay?” she slurred her words a bit.

You could only nod, still clinging to her hoodie. “You?”

Bada exhaled loudly with a smile, nodding. “That was so good.”

You giggled, placing a hand on her chest. There it was, her heart resting easier, her smile making your own heart skip a beat. What privilege to be able to feel her like this, to see her smile like that, to watch her take your hand and kiss it lazily. But before you could even say anything, your phone’s alarm went off. Signifying visiting time was over and that you had to begin packing things up. Without saying a word, you and Bada got up and dressed up hastily. Frankly, a rather chaotic scene that made the both of you laugh while doing so. Especially when you still felt like jelly and Bada had to stop you from falling over when your legs still trembled. 

At one point, the handle of the room rustled, giving you the sign that your crew was here. Bada looked at you with wide eyes, unsure of where to even hide herself. But you merely told her to stay there as you opened the door. Your crew was… surprised, but they didn’t make a fuss, only smiling and greeting Bada – ignoring that Bada and you were still pretty red in the face and… lightly panting.

Bada bid her farewells with everyone cordially, they didn’t say a thing, but when it came to you…

“You better win this,” you told Bada, keeping yourself in check even though you wanted to climb on her and hug her like a koala.

Bada nodded. “I will,” and she started to walk away.

Then she stopped.

You were confused, until you saw her turn around and walk back to give you a simple but fervid kiss right in front of everyone. The sweet taste of a lustful affair still fresh on those marshmallow lips, that alone made you blush more. But the boldness of it, how it seemed that she was no longer hesitating, that was everything.

The kiss was over even though you both were reluctant in stopping it. You both shared a complicit smile and she finally walked away, perhaps with a new found vigor and inspiration.

You were left with your crew mates and the moment you turned around, their faces looked priceless. You didn’t have any explaining to do, letting that kiss tell them everything they needed to know.

“Alright, let’s pack.”

[karume-everything-else]

Flufftober 2024: Day 7

Batman (Bruce Wayne) x Reader; "I will always fall for you, no matter what."

The problem with being a caped hero was how it interfered with personal life. Unable to keep that look you'd given him earlier out of his mind, Batman could only hope you'd run back to the manor. Though with what you saw, what you thought you saw, there was no way for him to know for sure if you'd return to him.

"Alfred."

"Yes?"

"Has [Name] returned home yet?"

"Yes and no Master Bruce."

"Yes and no?"

"They seemed rather upset and began packing a bag to leave. Should I attempt to stop them?"

Humming darkly, "No completely, just try to talk with them. They overheard me and I have reason to believe they've connected the dots about Batman."

"Very well sir, shall I leave the cave open for your vehicle?"

"Yes, I'll be home soon Alfred."

If only the gas pedal could go lower than the floorboard, he would feel a little better. Even as he whipped into his lair, not bothering with perfect parking or even bothering to remove his suit; Bruce marched right up into the manor. Thankful that Alfred had distracted you with tea by the fireplace, keeping you at the manor just long enough for Bruce to explain on his own.

"[Name]." He pulled the cowl's mask off his face, letting it fall behind himself, "Did you make it here safely?"

Turning abruptly, wishing you saw anything other than Batman waltzing into the living room. Wishing he hadn't just called you by name with the same voice you'd swoon over. You struggled to swallow a growing lump in your throat.

"Are you okay?" Bruce knelt by your chair, looking up at you with that million-dollar, playboy puppy-eyed look, "I... I never meant for you to learn about this. It was for your safety, I swear."

"I... I don't know..."

"How can I help you?" He grabbed your hand gently, not even the thick glove covering his could dampen the tenderness of the gesture, "[Name], I don't want you to leave or be uncomfortable. I understand if you want to. I understand if you need space to process, but please. Please talk to me. Let me help in any way I can."

"I... Its just." You looked at the deep, amber tea in your cup, at the reflection of your confusion and concern, "Hindsight is twenty-twenty..."

Tilting his head, "Hindsight about what?"

"The people you're around all the time." You admitted, talking more to the tea than to your lover, "I thought I could handle the comments about how you could do better...

But now I see just how much you're settl-"

"I'm not settling for you [Name]." Bruce rested a hand on your thigh, scooting a little closer to the chair as if he were going to climb into your lap at any second, "I will always fall for you. No matter what. This life, the next, or any universe we exist in. It will always be you, [Name]."

"I... I just-!"

You were cut off with a forceful yet gentle kiss. Bruce not wasting a single second in carefully taking the cup of tea from you, only to lift you so he could sit you in his lap. Holding you close despite his costume, anything to make you see that Batman or no, he was only yours.

He would do anything to ease your confusion and worries after all.

[bananasfosterparent]

@thewillowbends Hope it's okay I moved to text post, it seemed like a better idea.

First, let me be clear: People can write whatever they want and I'm not saying they can't or shouldn't.

----

"If Tav is happily evil, then we’re back to the issue of limits in the narrative functionality beyond shorter works."

If Tav HAS to be a meek, regretful abuse victim in order for a story to be lengthy and meaningful, then that is 100% a skill and creativity issue of the writer. Either them not having the ability to see the story from another perspective, or them not having the creativity level to consider other canon-friendly manifestations of the Evil Tav x Asc Astarion relationship. Those "limits" you speak of are only limits if you allow them to be and don't let yourself grow as a writer.

"As it is, game is pretty blunt about how the story of spawn Tav ends"

The game is not blunt at all. The game gives us NO ending to that. It's up to the player. The closest we have to an idea of an ending for "spawn" Tav, is this datamined title card:

(read image description for transcription)

While this was cut from the official release of the game (like all the epilogue content), it still shows what Larian had/has in mind for the direction of the Asc ending. And it's got no hints about abuse.

Astarion tells you as much if you break up with him — “I would’ve ruined your love, used your trust.”

This is called metagaming. BG3 is not like a tv show where all the little dots connect and line up. BG3 is a "choose your own adventure" novel in video game form. It works just the same. So any choices or options you DO NOT select are NOT TRUE for your character in that playthrough. So nothing Spawn Astarion says in that ending matters in regards to a playthrough with the Ascended ending. Nothing Asc Astarion says matters in regards to a playthrough with the Spawn ending. In BOTH endings, he thanks Tav genuinely, fully appreciates the choice, is glad the opposite choice wasn't made, and wants Tav to choose what their next adventure will be. Both endings have to be worthwhile and feel satisfying for the player, and the best way to do that is to have Astarion genuinely appreciate what Tav has done, in BOTH endings. And he does.

"it’s a story about cycles and the destruction of life. It’s telling you what Astarion will become because Cazador used to be in his position."

It's telling who Cazedor was and his story. That doesn't mean Astarion is doomed to repeat it. Or that a specific ending IS him repeating it. There is no warning of such. It CAN go that way, but nothing in-game says it has to. Because breaking "the cycle" isn't one specific thing. And he breaks cycles in BOTH endings.

Astarion's story is about corruption and choosing to either become more corrupt (than he already is) or try to live by the rules of society and just accept how things are. In the Spawn ending he talks about the "cycle of power", meaning the cycle of vampire culture that thrives on a pyramid of power. He is free of that headache and appreciates that. As to the quote you mention, Astarion is speculating about ascension. He has no idea what would have actually happened, he can only guess. He is an opportunistic optimist so he'd more likely see the path he couldn't take as one he shouldn't have anyway. And having him say that in-game for that ending, makes that ending feel worth it for the player.

In the Asc ending, he breaks the cycles of loneliness, living in darkness, selfishness, hunger, and wants to treat his own spawn better than Cazedor ever did. Astarion hates the word spawn and chooses to call his future ones his "children" instead. He loves the sun, it's symbolic for him. Yet, he is fully willing, without hesitation, to give up something he loves so much, so that his "children" can thrive in a world that is shrouded in fog. He also takes on a consort (vampire bride/groom) and wants to share that power, something Cazedor did not do (as far as we know).

You can break away from Larian’s story, certainly, but a lot of fanfic writers are trying to stick to what was extant within the media itself. At some point, if you pull too far away from it, you’re just writing an original story, and the issue most writers then run into is…why not turn it fully original and publish it then?

Here's the problem with this: Larian's story IS BOTH endings. There is no metaphorical build up in the game that sets up *only* the Spawn ending as his "real" or "true" ending. It's a metaphorical build up that can have TWO different solutions. One being reject the power and accept life as it is. The other being usurp power and rewrite the rules. Ascension is never shown to be a truly evil or bad thing. The worst part of it is sacrificing the 7000 spawn. But if Tav/Durge rationalizes this, there are no real negatives. The only negatives may be if one does not vibe with his confidence boost and prefers him more docile. The whole last statement you've made and way of thinking makes it seem like his Spawn ending is the real one and his Ascended ending is just some "fun and sexy" alternative but invalid thing you can do.

His story arc is BOTH endings. They are both just as bad and as good as the other, it's just a matter of what works for your Tav/Durge and for you as the player. He does not have ONE TRUE ENDING. You choose the lesser of two evils. Which one is "lesser" depends entirely on the player and Tav/Durge as individuals.

If ANYTHING, writing Ascended Astarion as an abusive, uncaring, unloving monster is just writing an original story and not sticking to what is within the game itself. Not the other way around.

Also, as a last comment... a fanfiction does not have to be a 70 chapter epic. It can be 1-3 chapters and be a complete work. Or just one chapter. Or a few paragraphs. But Tav and Astarion being happily evil together shouldn't be a reason you can't write a lengthy and fleshed out story. That's just lack of creativity. Spawn ending fans outnumber Asc ending fans, and most Spawn fans have a negative view of Asc Astarion. So that's more likely the reason why we never see many happily evil Tav x Astarion fics.

[kafus]

SO... do you headcannon anyone in horizons as autistic?

OH BOY DO I

so dot is the most obvious choice. there is no universe in which she is not autistic to me. this is one of my strongest dot headcanons actually and one of the main reasons i enjoy her as a character. there are so many reasons for this i could go on endlessly but i'll just list a few big ones here

her extreme passion for her interests at a disregard for almost everything else & her ability to self teach those topics (not to mention her interests have to do with computing)

her difficulties with food overlap a lot with food sensitivities autistic people often have, also her latching onto donuts as a sort of samefood after finally trying them once

the tendency to wear loose, comfortable clothes and more recently she has complained while wearing tighter clothes (the orange academy school uniform) so it's not just that she prefers loose fabric, she also is put off by the alternative. girl your sensory problems

irritable outbursts when struggling to articulate herself/make herself understood

her connection with kanuchan (tinkatink) felt really neurodivergent to me. she wasn't offput by her behavior, even after stealing her prop mic, and was immediately able to understand her when no one else could or was willing to. not sure how to articulate this one right now but i hope you see what i mean

her tendency to sit cross legged and lean over herself reminds me a lot of my personal autistic tendency to need a pressure/weighted feeling while i sit or have body parts touching

social exhaustion, the need to be alone sometimes even when she cares

the list genuinely goes on i have to stop myself LOL

as for other characters,

so for liko i'm more loose about the headcanon, it's definitely more of me projecting than her being overtly autistic in canon but i still think it lines up if u wanna view her that way. i'm autistic and i personally relate to liko a lot becauseee

she is giving hyperempathy autism to me. the way she is overly empathetic and compassionate to her own detriment and yet still has to have her hand held through articulating & dealing with that or putting the logical parts of empathy together

the way she absolutely fucking Explodes with excitement sometimes

the way in which she relates to cats, and her whole thing about having a hard time getting other people to understand her. these two things go hand in hand

there's something neurodivergent about her trying to connect with sprigatito by studying her and writing notes about her behavior lol

while this is kind of just on the account of her being an anime character and a protagonist at that, liko's facial expressions and body language can be pretty exaggerated sometimes which reminds me of my own body language, i'm cartoonishly animated in real life often LOL

so like basically dot is so obviously autistic to me it's like breathing but for liko it's kind of a hc i apply to her for projection purposes & fun but i think it's reasonable

and lastly so i'm not just talking about solely liko and dot for the millionth time,

ORIO!! honestly we don't even know that much about orio but the one episode where she was helping pokeball lady i forget the name of fix her machine. the really narrow attention to detail/seeing the smaller parts instead of the bigger picture. also her expertise in engineering contrasted with her struggling with tasks outside of that (like when she was trying to sew holes in the brave asagi and for the life of her could not do it so she called murdock for help lol)

and actually one more - while i don't necessarily headcanon amethio as autistic, i think it's a fun headcanon/au idea to not only give him a redemption arc but an autism unmasking arc at the same time. representation for all my repressed autistics out there. in my mind

thanks for asking i'm so autistic about horizons so of course i headcanon them with autism too JOISJOIFD

[millilps]

fuck it, we ball clown

so. Susan. Susan Triad. it was all a set up to trap the Doctor. all the mentions of Susan (Foreman) were just to give context to the new viewers. but you know what's interesting here? family.

"wtf are you talking about are you high or something" no no bear with me I actually have a point it's not just pure clowning. well, it is, but I swear I'm trying my best here to make it make sense

it's a long post so buckle up clowns we're going all in with this one

so, I was saying, if you think about it a lot of episodes in this season are more or less centered around or connected to the idea of family in some way:

Space Babies: I mean. yeah. it doesn't really need an explanation. and also the whole thing of being abandoned just like Ruby

The Devil's Chord: we know Maestro is part of the Toymaker's family, and technically also the kid we see at the start? I think? are there theories about that kid? is he just a normal kid and then became somehow the harbinger of Maestro?

Boom: the concept of family literally saves everyone

73 Yards: well, Ruby's family is present in the episode, but also it's interesting how Ruby's fears play out in the episode which is directly interlocked with her birth mother abandoning her, it's kinda there but not as central or as explored as other episodes

Dot and Bubble: it's... a bit more subtle. it's there, kinda. we do have the whole thing of all the people in Finetime being part of rich families, and we also see Lindy's mom, so it's better than nothing

Rogue: I actually don't know. the family of Chuldurs? the marriage proposal? I have absolutely no idea but I also feel like it's there somewhere

The Legend of Ruby Sunday/Empire of Death: I probably don't have to say much as they are the episodes that actually dive in Ruby's story and the mystery around her birth, but yeah the family theme is obviously there

with the season following this theme, more or less, Susan was an obvious choice.

think about it: the Doctor has lost so many people he cared about that Sutekh pretty much could use every name ever. obviously they also had to explain regeneration to new viewers (hi, new viewers! hope you're enjoying the show!) so the list had to be shortened to only characters who are time lords or have the ability to regenerate, add a bit of "the Doctor regretting his past choices" and you get Susan. and this is tied directly with the theme of family, because she is the Doctor's family, technically the only gallifreyan family member we know about (Jenny, River, the Ponds and probably more that I'm forgetting/don't know about are also family, but in a different way) and also we have no informations whatsoever about her - sure, we have Big Finish, but it's kinda... not exactly canon, I guess? idk. nothing is canon and everything is canon at the same time in this show, you just have to live with it. still, she's one of the biggest mysteries of this show, because while other characters came back or were mentioned with information about them and/or their lives either in the expanded universe that is more strongly influenced by the show (yes I'm looking at Barbara and Ian's wedding in the 50th anniversary DMW that I can't find anywhere, idc what anyone says but that IS canon) or in the actual show at some point, she has never officially returned, and the Doctor has never officially gone back to meet her (sure, we have the story Fellow Traveller in the book Adventures in Lockdown, but it's probably not canon anymore at this point - although, it could be, if we clown enough). and with all the things about family in the season, obviously she had to be the key.

Ruby's family story is concluded: she found her birth mother, she also found her father, and now she has an amazing big loving family. but you know which one isn't? the Doctor's. we've met his adoptive mother, sure, but we know the Doctor had kids, we know Susan exists, and we know she's family to him.

she's out there somewhere. I know. she must be. she could've been mentioned in a lot of different episodes, a lot of different points, a lot of different stories, but she wasn't.

so why all these mentions all of a sudden? honestly I have absolutely no idea, I'm not RTD, I'm just a clown doing clown things, and the clown things on today's list is making theories about how Susan might come back

[aikuse]

ARIIIII may i request a nanami blurb (nsfw or sfw i'll leave that up to you :3) based on the song killshot by magdalena bay please? <3

-> hit me with your killshot, baby. (x) | 2,276 words. afab!reader (no pronouns used but female anatomy included), slight yandere obsession if u squint, alcohol consumption, fingering, cunnilingus, implied penetrative + protected sex, nanami calls reader “sweet thing”, “darling”, higuruma cameo. nanami might be a lil ooc but bear with me here.

a/n: oh salem, this was DELICIOUS to write. what a banger of a song too omg i gotta listen to them more!! i took a more obsessive!nanami approach, i feel like he'd get off on how easy some people are to fall in love with him, but not necessarily in a bad way. it's almost like a confirmation that he's good, he's not rotten like the rest of the men he works with; he's respectful so he deserves rewards in a way??? anyway i'm not sure what happened but here we are LMAO

The speakeasy was quiet this evening.

You sip on a lovely gin and tonic, mixed together just right as your eyes drag across the people dotted around the space. Your business shirt has been unbuttoned slightly, enough to tease as your drink steadily makes you feel warmer and fuzzier. Your heels are long gone, tucked away in your bag as you opt for chunky boots, which tend to be much comfier after a few drinks.

It was a cozy atmosphere; one of your favorite places to go after work to unwind without having to worry about seeing those you know. Which, unfortunately, has happened before and almost turned you off from coming back completely.

But you couldn’t.

Mainly due to the man you’re staring at now, half-hoping he can’t feel your burning gaze.

He’s stunning, and he’s been coming for the past few weeks now. Always on a Tuesday, for some reason, but you ignored the choice of weekday and instead decided to have your gaze wander across his features. His blue office shirt is unbuttoned at the top, just enough that light blonde hairs poke out of the revealed opening. His suspenders are tight against his chest, brown, connecting to his tan slacks. Shiny office shoes adorn his feet as he leans back, crossing his foot over his knee as he takes a sip from his own drink (something dark) and fixates on the book in front of him.

He’s beautiful. Tempting. Like forbidden fruit, except he doesn’t seem to be married.

Even better.

The one thing you do pick up on is how incredibly tired he looks. He normally comes in with another man, this one’s palette almost inverse from your muse’s; dark suit, white shirt, dark hair, but the same bags underneath his eyes and tired facial expressions. They don’t typically speak to each other that much, due to how quiet the rest of the venue is, and choose to read together instead.

However, today, his companion is not here. He has come alone.

One of your fingers, complete with a perfectly manicured black nail, rubs against the edge of your glass as you watch him. He wears glasses, the golden rims catching the lowlight every once in a while as his eyes scan across the words in front of him. He hasn’t noticed you staring; he never has, which is somewhat of a shock to you. Whenever someone is staring at you, it feels like there’s fire alight on the back of your neck. He’s either completely oblivious, or he knows and he doesn’t seem to care.

Something about that makes your thighs clench together. The song in the background, playing gently against the velvet walls, does nothing for your growing yearning for the man.

Something chronic, bit demonic I been on the late shift All alone, staring at my phone

Sin and tonic Stupid promise Something like a death wish All alone, stare into my soul

You’ve never been one for one-night stands, but for him, there is a chance you’d make an exception.

You down the drink, drawing on the courage of the gin as you stand, making your way over to him. You identify his book, first; ironically, it’s one of your favorites, and a smile tugs at your lips as you approach. He looks up in surprise, before his expression smoothens into something close to neutrality. “Well, well, the voyeur finally decides to encounter their muse, eh?” he says, and his voice washes over your ears like silk. It’s gorgeous, with a low pitch and a rasp that makes the ache in your stomach only strengthen.

You take a seat, smiling and blushing to yourself that you’ve been discovered. “I was wondering how long it would take you to notice,” you admit, and he smiles back, folding a worn bookmark into the page he's reading and shutting the book, placing it on the table before turning to you, taking another sip of his own drink. It’s whiskey, made neat; you can tell from the smell across the table.

You sit awkwardly for a moment, listening to the crackling of the fire behind you, before he breaks the silence, his smooth voice taking up space once again.

“Come here often?”

You can’t help but chuckle. “More than I will admit,” you respond, “but it’s nice here. Gives me a chance to slow down after work, and the drinks are lovely.”

He nods, agreeing. “Yes, it’s a good place. Higuruma and I come here often after work; he also enjoys unwinding in a quieter atmosphere.”

Higuruma. That must be his companion. “What do you both do?” you ask, your elbow appearing on the table as the side of your head rests on your open hand. He leans forward then, fully facing the table, and sighs. “He’s a lawyer. Ironic, since he’s just finalized his own divorce as well. I stick to the salary business. It’s boring, but it’s something. Pays the bills at the end of the day.”

You hum. “If I may be honest, you don’t look as if you’re happy there at all.”

He laughs at that, a jovial laugh that isn’t obnoxiously loud; it’s just enough to be between the two of you. “Yes, well, dealing with finance is never an enjoyable activity, but I’ve been in it long enough now where I can find my own pleasures. Especially outside of work when I can look at such a pretty lady, if I do say so myself.”

The blush that appears on your cheeks is bright red, you can feel it as you look down bashfully. “Oh, don’t get shy on me now,” you hear him say as he reaches across the table, lightly touching your chin and raising your face to look back at him. There’s a softness in his gaze, one that you’re not used to. The touch is gentle as well, and you’re praying that he can’t feel the spark you felt as soon as his fingertips touched your skin.

Instead, you opt for teasing him.

“That was a bit forward, wasn’t it?”

He pales, moving his hand away. “Oh, God, sorry, I just—”

You grab his hand, a smile on your lips again as you hold it between your own, rolling your eyes. “Kidding. Promise,” you reassure him as his face relaxes again in relief, “I’d have said something much faster if you crossed a line, don’t worry. Although to me, it seems you don’t enjoy doing that very often. Salarymen are always so by the book.”

He nods, rolling his eyes as well. “I try not to be. Hence me attempting to read books more,” he gestures to the book on the table, “and being here. It’s not as public as many people have dragged me to, but it’s intimate enough where it feels nice to unwind.” He takes another swig of his whiskey, his cheeks dusted a light pink from the alcohol.

You both chat about other things, such as the books you’re reading, what you do for your job, your favorite drinks and what speakeasies and intimate bars you’ve both been to. Before you know it, it’s dark outside, and you’re fumbling for your bag and your keys, cursing at how long you’ve stayed. “I know it’s Friday,” you say, standing, “but I always like to be home a little early. That way I can pour a glass of wine after being here and relax even more.”

He’s standing up with you almost mechanically, tucking his book into a briefcase you didn’t notice before. There’s a flash of black-and-white print inside of the case, but you don’t get a good look before he shuts it and locks it, smiling at you and offering his hand.

“Well, I can’t allow for a stunning woman such as yourself to walk home alone, yes?”

You’re tempted to say no. You know for a fact this is a decision you’re either going to regret or enjoy, but at the point you are at with knowing him better than some of your own coworkers who you’ve worked beside for years, your better judgment is shelved for an impulse decision.

You take his hand.

“Well, well, Kento, I will take you up on the offer. What a kind gesture to someone who's been staring at you for weeks. How do you know I don’t have terrible intentions?” you ask him as he walks with you to the door, hand in hand. He looks back at you with a smile, crinkling the edges of his eyes.

“I’m quite good at reading people.”

“Need you, Kento.”

The plea comes out as a whine, the blonde man’s head between your thighs as he laps at your center. He looks up at you through his eyelashes, and you feel your obsession roaring in your ears as he smirks against you. “How do you need me, darling?” he whispers, and your hips buck into his face, forcing him to return to sucking on your sensitive clit.

“Anywhere. Everywhere. Forever.” It’s all coming out as senseless babbles, your hands deep in his hair, tugging on the strands and scratching at his scalp as his strong hands hold your legs apart, your thighs twitching against his grip. He doesn’t stop what he’s doing; he doesn’t seem to mind your comments, either, even if they do seem a little intense at the moment. It seems he either knows his effect on you, or he enjoys hearing about it.

The latter makes you wetter just thinking about it.

You’d had him walk you home, sharing a glass of wine on your couch as you discussed your favorite pieces of literature, the books strewn across the floor in the flurry of motion instigated by Kento himself. “Please do not take this the wrong way,” he had whispered, before placing the wine glass on the coffee table, “but I cannot stand staring at your lips and doing nothing about them.”

You’d kissed him then, whiskey and wine and a calming feeling flooding your veins as your lips moved against him, his large hands cupping your face so gently as if he didn’t want to harm you. But little did he know, that was what you craved; you wanted him to devour you, to make you think of nothing but him. If you were hung up on him for the rest of your life, you would be satisfied.

Come and get that honeySweeter than I ever knewTell me that you love meLove me till my lips turn blue

“K-Kento—”

He leans back, his fingers having been added to the mix, squelching as he scissors you open so deliciously well that your back is arching. His thumb, locked onto your clit, keeps it under a steady rhythm as you cry out. Every brush against the sensitive area is tightening that coil in your stomach, your whole body trembling beneath him. You can feel it, the climax roaring into you like a shockwave. “Gonna c—”

He leans over you then, his lips centimeters away from your ear, and growls.

“Cum for me, sweet thing. Cum all over my fingers, I know you can do it.”

The explosion of emotions that comes out of you, the noises, everything feels like a dam bursting as your soaking pussy twitches and drools all over his fingers, dripping onto the couch as you cum harder than you ever have before. The whole world seems to fall away except for Kento’s face, a haloed silhouette, like an angel coming to deliver you from everything that’s harmed you.

He looks down and grins, as if he’s proud of his handiwork, and as he looks back at you, you cannot help but watch him as you ride out your high.

I love you falls from your lips, but he doesn’t bat an eye. He doesn’t even flinch; in fact, his motions only get more aggressive as he fucks you into overstimulation, tears pricking at your eyes and breaking your lashline, sliding down your cheeks.

“Say it again.”

“W-What?” it comes out choked as you shudder underneath him, his fingers only continuing their movements.

“Say it again.”

“I love you?”

“Say it more confidently. Come on, sweet thing.” He sounds exasperated, and in your vulnerable state, all you want to do is please him. Make him want to stay with you, make him live inside of your bones.

“I love you. I will love you forever if you’ll let me, I—”

“Fuck, that’s good,” he whispers as he finally relents, removing his fingers from your center. He doesn’t wipe them on his slacks, however…instead, he chooses to prod at your lips, his other hand brushing away your tears. You obey within a beat, sucking on your own juices underneath him, watching his pupils dilate. His gaze is dark; it’s like his own obsession with you is forming, a mutual delusion you both can share.

His hand removes itself from your mouth, before his belt clinks and you hear the zipper of his pants echo around the room, clearing the post-climax daze and fluff that had been stuffed in your head. You clench as you feel the head of his fat cock brush against your abused opening, and he leans down close to you, his broad, bare chest flush with your own.

“God, you’re everything,” he whispers as he slides in, and your mind goes blank.

If I fall in every time Wicked love will leave me blind Yeah, I knew it I been through it

Oh god Can you make my heart stop? Hit me with your kill shot, baby I mean it, so serious

divider credit: @/benkeibear

networks: @thehoneypotserver @enchantedforest-network

disclaimer: DO NOT copy or repost my works for any reason. translations are acceptable, but please ask for permission first!

© kakuchari 2023-2024

[ckret2]

Okok- not to bother you but I wanted to check my understanding.

So. Dimensions are directions by which we measure and perceive space. Things that have finite dimensions are measured by a finite amount of dimensions and, if they have the ability to perceive, would largely only be able to perceive those finite dimensions. Two dimensional things have length and width; three dimensional things have length, width, and depth; and four dimensional things have length, width, depth, and Something Else.

I've been thinking about time a lot, and to my knowledge, we don't really know exactly what it is. Happenings occur within it; it's intertwined with space in such a way that we can observe that they affect each other; we can measure it if we care to, but our perception of "how fast it's going" is subjective; and we seem to be bound by it in a way that thrusts us forward no matter what–but what is it, from what does it proceed, and where is it found? (your preamble about what the sun is to two-dimensional people made me think about that; unfortunately, i'm not educated enough to know if my definition of time–much less my questions about it–is valid)

If we think about a fourth dimension being up-but-not-skyward-and-down-but-not-earthward, the idea of a three-dimensional person having an eye inside of them in a way that's not visible from the third dimension and can perceive the fourth, and that this eye from that place on the person can see time the way normal people can see three-dimensional space, the dots sort of connect themselves: time, if it is not the fourth dimension itself, is found by it.

Bill was able to look up-but-not-north and see the sun and stars. As you seem to have written him, he was also able to stretch his eye up-but-not-north to be able to look "through" walls by seeing over them. It's my understanding, following this pattern, that when he sees time, he's just looking up-but-not-skyward, and when he's looking "through" something solid, he's stretching up-but-not-skyward. We haven't had a description (to my memory) of his eye "going white" as he's looking at the fourth dimension; it seems like he just does, without effort (perhaps because the fourth dimension has more intersection with a space as opposed to the way the third dimension does on a plane, just by merit of space having more points to intersect with; 100% of 200 and 100% of 50 are very different). We also haven't really seen him doing any kind of visible stretching (other than the bleeding, which is a byproduct) as he's looking from it, likely because he's stretching in a direction we can't see anyway.

That's it, really. That's all of my thoughts.

🎉🎉🎉 YEAH YOU GOT IT, A+, ROUND OF APPLAUSE

You're ahead of the curve on some stuff that'll help the next few chapters make a LOT more sense!

And that's EXACTLY what I was hoping you'd get out of the preamble about sunlight: a framework to imagine how people in a lower dimension might be able to sense, measure, and understand a force in a higher dimension, but not be able to witness it. In the same way that shapes can sense light without seeing where it comes from, so can humans sense time—but it does come from somewhere.

(Last I checked, the current scientific consensus on "the fourth dimension contains/is time" is that our current model of spacetime does say there's a fourth dimension of time, but saying time is in a geometric fourth dimension is sci-fi nonsense; but I happen to be writing sci-fi nonsense so I'm fine with that.)

And yeah, Bill's eye doesn't go white when he's looking toward the 4th dimension because the way the dimensions overlap is different and the way human biology & eyeballs are built is different. The eye bleeding is a way of representing that he's still doing funky stuff with his eye; it just cosmetically looks different.

[amelikos]

Spinel posting.

Something, something, Spinel observing his surroundings and using people's traits, qualities, and feelings against them. I think I brought it up a while ago, but I just love how much this whole situation shows that Spinel knows people, and in this situation Amethio... that he has observed him enough, and knows him well enough, that he knew that if he trapped Amethio and Liko together, Amethio would set their beef aside and work together with Liko to escape. Which means that Spinel would have the blackmail material to frame him. I think it's great. Spinel is aware of his surroundings, but in a bad way because he'll use that against you (he used Amethio's kindness against him!).

I still have questions about him and I wonder what's wrong with him (affectionate). My interpretations are challenged every time and with the whole "Amethio is special to Gibeon so he was bound to get in our way" (from HZ064) and the PR posting about "Spinel seems to show loyalty towards Gibeon, but is hostile towards Amethio", I'm not sure what to think anymore. Something I thought about is that maybe Spinel was taken in by the Explorers, and just wants Gibeon's love for himself. I don't know. This whole situation with setting up Amethio feels like Spinel is jealous of Amethio's grandson status and wants to reclaim Gibeon's attention and love for himself. I'm not saying that's what will happen of course, just a thought I'm throwing out there because that crossed my mind. Or he just wants to break families apart because it's his hobby. Who knows.

Anyway, I hope they'll depict more of Spinel's character in the future, and hopefully we'll get to know more about his past or his circumstances. Let's hope he doesn't end up boring and that he'll have no "reason" for his nonsense lol. By boring, I specifically mean TR levels of boring or like the early villains in the franchise. They make me yawn. The kinds of characters who have nothing going on under the surface, with nothing to find there or to scratch. Being like that is one of the worst things a character can be for me. I just want them to make me think or try to understand what's going on with them (that's personally what I find appealing in characters). He can be fucked up idc, but he can't make me yawn basically ww (I'm just writing this out just because, this is not meant to be imagining the worst.)

Actually, Spinel makes me think a bit of green-haired villains we got in Precure recently. Which I'm bringing up because I keep going on about Horizons being a shoujo and a magical girl. Spinel makes me think of Narcistoru and Battamonda (both from the Precure franchise), green-haired ikemen who got very good arcs btw (not saying Spinel is exactly the same, just that he reminded me of them in various ways). They did villainous things in the context of their shows, and literally had to learn to be kinder ww I was satisfied with their arcs. Battamonda, especially, was a character who terrorized the main characters during an arc but there was a lot to scratch under the surface and his development beautifully connected with the wider themes of the series and with one of the main character's. Anyway, not to keep going on about Precure, but Horizons feels more like modern anime in terms of characters and trends and I see that a lot in the Explorers, in a way. They don't feel like the villains we usually got in the past games? Some of the characters in the Explorers (notably Sango, Spinel and Agate) remind me of other characters in other anime airing currently, so I feel like they are aware of stuff like this. (And I also keep going on about them knowing exactly who they are targeting with Spinel's character so...)

Anyway, where would we be without Spinel. Every time he gets involved, we get good stuff (Liko and Dot moments, and now Liko and Amethio moments).

I hope we'll learn more about him eventually... it's hard to predict what will happen or what direction they could take. They really could be going anywhere.

[shouldiusemyname]

Since @thegalwhorants - bestie put me back in my Boston feels at 4am with this, I am now compelled, and encouraged, to write about It!

So you know what this means...

Yup, You Got it. ANOTHER TRIP TO BOSTON!

Honestly, I don't even know if it's Neo's babyness or my reading of Boston, but my heart goes out to him... See, it's like a case of the reverse 3 bears syndrome:

SandRay are too close and personal for me. too many similarities with my own actual experiences and I get overwhelmed thinking about them. AKA the bed that fits perfectly but makes me disconnect out of sheer overwhelm over how comfortable I am in that mess.

TopMew just piss me off, and I took quite a trip to realize that it's a good thing. I honestly believe that that's how I'm supposed to be feeling and I'm learning to enjoy the experience. However, if I were to write about it the only coming out would be a series of incoherent rants which I will spare you from. AKA the middle sized bed that just pisses me off! Like This is too "one size fits all" but I KNOW something's off and I can't relax and enjoy my sleep.

The only ones left are Boston and Nick - my big comfy bed. I can understand this bed. I have experienced this bed before but I have no unsolved issues about it. I can move around comfortably on this bed and sleeping in it once again just makes me feel good about myself and my past experiences.

So now, after I've taken you out on a stroll through the inner workings of my mind, let's talk about BOSTON! and Nick cos you gotta have some Nick in there...

Boston is compelling. That's it.

He is compelling for Nick for the same reason his father is compelling for him. Boston come off as carefree, no BS kinda guy, I do what I want, nothing gets to me and I don't care about people's opinions. I glide and float through life and nothing can touch me.

This is super attractive and compelling for someone like, say I don't know... Nick? Who feels like he's trapped by familial obligations. That's why Nick (thinks he) knows full well what he's getting into with Boston. That's because he is attracted to THAT side of Boston who is a loose canon, that side of Boston who he wishes to have in his life (so somewhat - I actually wanted to be him, but he's hot so I ended up fucking him and now I'm in love).

Anygay... Boston - by now I hope you can see that this is all a facade. This is all him adopting and taking on his father's persona. See, Boston has no roots. His mother bolted to the other side of the planet and left him with a father who can't father. There's no parental authority, no boundaries or values. So, Boston had to instinctively understand that if he wants those boundaries, he needs to exist within the boundaries of his father's personality (I hope this makes sense and that you get what I mean). Basically, he will get his father's attention, good or bad, if it's about something that exists within his father's framework or world. Anything other than what exists there means that Boston is on his own to figure out life.

Naturally, Boston takes on that attitude and it serves him in two ways:

he gets his father's attention and approval.

He can disconnect from his own self and not go through the pain of feeling his emotions. This is super obvious in the Ray confrontation - it seems like he's enjoying the fact that he's hurting Ray, but you can actually see the switch go off. I'll get into it in a bit.

This is also why he truly can't connect the dots and see how contradictory he's being when he fails to live up to his own values, re: I will record my friends' deeply personal moment but I will not have that done to me. This is not a contradiction in his mind because these two things live in two disconnected parts of his being - the mind and the feels.

ok, now I want to get into the ep.6 Ray confrontation because this was gold! *grabbing some screenshots...just a sec...aaaaand done*

Frist of all, the sheer confusion of Boston's face when Ray comes at him. Liks, what have I done? What could I have possibly done to make Ray so angry?!

We did have some fun laughing about Boston doing so much that he needs to do a quick mental scan of all the shit he's done trying to figure out what Ray's talking about. But NO. Boston is genuinely blanking here.

But here. This? This is where it starts getting interesting, cos this

This is the face of fear. This is what Boston looks like when he's feeling his emotions.

Then, when Ray tells him "how could you do that...he's your friend" It hits him and he switches. a brief moment of actual pain here

This is first step partial shut down. Immediate emotions disconnected and he enters damage control mode.

This is when he tries to rationalize by BSing his way around how this is making him feel. Ray is not letting it go and he's not buying the "I just wanted sex and the timing was off" excuse (if you can call it that), THEN! Ray calls him a slut, the transformation is complete and Chaos Demon takes over with the most hurtful and mean thing he could have said at that point "Not just anyone. I PICKED him"

This look is terrifying. Not because it's evil, but because of the disconnect. This is 100% you made me HURT and FEEL PAIN and I refuse to feel any of it. (I wish I had a gif of the shrug cos that just completes the transformation)

After that he just goes into full attack dog mode and he's on a mission to DESTROY Ray.

OK, I think it's enough for now. I just know I will be writing about him again as B&N are my big bed with plenty of wiggle room characters.

As always, thank you for visiting my soapbox. I appreciate you sticking this out (I did have more screenshots this time!).

Much love ❤️

[bloodywickedlips]

Lessons and scars

Alright guys this is something different to my usual Reader/Character. This is an OC but can be read as reader as it's in 1st pov. Let me know if i should carry on and if i should make the parts shorter, now on with the story.

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I stepped out of the elevator and made my way through the glass doors. There were people sat at their desks and some walking around with case files. My eyes scanned the room and I spotted Erin Strauss immediately. It seemed as though she was having a heated discussion with my new boss. The one and only Hotchner.

She did warn me that the team won’t take to kindly to my presence, as I was there to observe them and report back to her.

Was I young? Yes,  but I worked hard to be here, I was in college by the age of 17 and when I studied criminology and psychology and aced it, I was swept up very quickly. Passing tests and physical aspects very quickly. Some say it was odd how quickly I climbed the ladder but it was all due to hard work and passion. I spent my first few years in CIA before Erin approached me and put in the transfer.

Everyone was always shocked to hear my age but I did some research on my team mates and felt at ease that they had another young person on the team. Dr Spencer Reid, so it couldn’t be so bad.

I was pulled out of my daze when I saw Erin motion me over with her two fingers.

I sighed and walked over to her and Hotch and had the door closed behind us.

“Aaron, I would like you to meet your new team member, miss Croft. I am sure I’ll be hearing from you soon” she said directed to me and then she left the office, leaving me to stand alone in Hotch’s office.

“Please have a seat” he said and I nodded as I sat down, waiting for him to say where I could set up.

“Miss Croft, please do not take this hard but neither me or my team is happy with you being here under Erin’s orders.” He said to me and I nodded understanding his apprehension.

“Please you can call me Olivia, and I understand but sir don’t get me wrong. I am here to supervise yes, but more so I am here to join the team. I have excelled in all my work and even rose much quicker than my fellow team mates. I’m not here to break your team up, I'm simply here to see how you work with everything that has happened. I hope I can fit in and make this work for all of us” I explained and he seemed satisfied with my answer as he nodded.

Just then there was a knock on the door, signalling there was a new case to be handled.

I followed Hotch to the meeting room and stopped as I saw all the other team members glaring my way.

“Everyone this is Olivia Croft, our new member. Please treat her with respect and we can all make this work” Hotch said using my own words.

I gave a small smile and walked over to the only open seat there was and looked around. I already knew who everyone was, as I looked over all their files previously, the air was cold as everyone settled in and Garcia started giving the details of the new case.

40 minutes later I was sitting on the jet on the way to Mississippi, I sat at the table with JJ and Emily reading over the case.

“The way he murders the females are extensive, it’s pure over kill. I'm sure we can say he has a hate for females and maybe he’s trying to fantasize about killing the one he envisions as they all have the same hair colour and eye colour.” I said as I started connecting the dots.

“Doesn’t mean he’s trying to envision it, maybe he’s just not ready to face her” Morgan said out loud and everyone went deathly quiet at his tone of voice.

He was snarky and distain laced his voice towards me. I just swallowed and kept my eyes on the file, deciding it would be best to stay quiet for now until everyone got used to me being there.

Once we landed, we went straight to the police office to set up. Two days later we had another body and a few traces on the victim that gave more clues into his life. We had a few suspects but something was still missing. I kept staring at the bodies and looking over the muddy boot print on their chest. While Morgan was on the phone with Garcia something clicked as I looked at the board.

“Garcia, narrow the search to a man in his late 40’s and most likely obese with a secluded property, most likely farming pigs” I said and saw Morgan clench his jaw as I interrupted him.

“Wow, okay yes I have two, first one’s name is Ernest Buckley, second one I have is Bill March and I am sending you the locations now” Garcia said and I smiled in triumph as I knew that was what we were missing and it was one of these men.

“Morgan, Olivia you head to Ernest and Spencer and I will head to Bill. Emily and JJ are still at the coroners” Hotch said and I nodded as I walked out and heard Morgan mumble something but I wasn’t going to let it get in my way of catching this killer.

Morgan and I drove all the way out to the pig farm, we walked to the front door and I watched as Morgan kicked the door in. We swept the house but no one was inside. “Check out back” I said not waiting for Morgan to reply.

We walked out and saw a small shed and a barn, nodding at Morgan I made my way to the barn as he went to the shed with our guns raised and ready.

I walked to the barn and slid the door open slowly and stepped inside softly, the wind was making some of the chains rattle making me look around more often.

As I rounded the corner, I saw the man in front of me bending over a figure.

“FBI stop right there!” I shouted out loud enough for Morgan to hear me. The man, Ernest turned towards me with a knife in his hand. He faced me fully and as I quickly looked behind him, I saw a woman half cut up. She was deceased already.

“Put the weapon down” I called out again but instead he charged at me, so I shot off one round hitting him in the shoulder but it didn’t seem to faze him as he knocked into me and slammed me to the ground.

I felt a sting across my cheek as his fist connected with my face and I struggled with my gun as it slipped out of my hand. I punched him as I couldn’t reach my gun and he sneered down at me and hit me again, as he reached for his own knife, I pulled my leg up and hit him between the legs.

He groaned out in pain and it gave me enough leverage to slip out from under him and kick him in the back as I stood up.

I looked around for my gun but it must have fell somewhere in the hay, I watched as he stood up and instantly, I jumped up and wrapped my arm around his throat intending to choke him out. He struggled but stood up to his full height as I clung on to him as my feet were lifted off of the ground. He tried to throw me off but I had a good grip and gasped as he moved backwards and slammed me into the wall back first with his full weight pressing as well, I groaned as I felt something sharp poke into my back, stinging and burning at the same time.

“Morgan!!” I shouted out as I knew I was not going to take him down alone without my gun.

I saw Morgan step inside with his gun raised and thought to myself finally.

“Stop!” Morgan shouted as he stepped forward and I felt my grip loosen as I was winded from the impact on the wall.

I fell down and heard another shot and watched as the unsub fell to the ground. The other team members arrived and I stood up trying to get air back into my lungs. Hotch looked around and silently asked me if I was okay with his eyes which I gave a curt nod.

Morgan walked out as I stood up and wiped the blood from my lip. Walking out I saw the police and other team members as well as the ambulance.

“You okay?” I heard a voice say and looked to see Spencer next to me looking concerned.

“Yeah, I’ve had worse” I replied and saw him nod and watched as his eyes raked over my face. “Olivia you’re bleeding” Spencer said and I nodded as I walked over to the ambulance.

I sat down as the medic looked me over, I had a small cut on my cheek and a nail stuck in my shoulder. Hissing as the medic pulled it out and then cleaned it out and wrapped it up.

He gave me the run down of antibiotics I would need and smiled as I thanked him.

“That was a close one” Hotch said as he stepped up to me and I searched the people around me until my eyes landed on Morgan.

“Yeah it was, Morgan must have been tripped up or something for taking so long. If he came faster then I wouldn’t have had a nail in my back” I said loud enough for him to hear and he narrowed his eyes at me and went to walk over to me but a hand on his arm stopped him.

“Are you okay to fly?” Hotch asked and I nodded as I stood up and grimaced at the burn in my shoulder.

We wrapped everything up and found ourselves on the plane. I decided to sit a few seats back from the team and as I was reading, I couldn’t help but overhear them discuss the case.

Hotch was on the phone with someone, probably Erin if she heard what had happened.

“You know what they say, snitches get stiches” Morgan said loudly while looking straight into my eyes. Spencer rambled something about the phrase but I didn’t listen as I stood up and made my way to the bathroom. I sat there for a good while as the tears ran down my face. I knew I shouldn’t be crying but it was hard to not be accepted by them as I was only doing what I had be told to do.

It didn’t make my work any different or made me incapable of doing this job, maybe this was a big mistake.

I snuck out of the bathroom without making any eye contact and sat down in my seat facing away from the team. As we headed back to the BAU I sighed dreading all the paper work that were waiting.

“Hotch is it fine if I finish my report at home? I need to go pick up meds to prevent an infection” I asked Hotch as the rest of the team walked by us. “Oh special treatment already” Morgan threw my way and I ducked my head as I didn’t think about what I just asked.

“Morgan enough. Yes that’s is fine, make sure it’s on my desk tomorrow” Hotch said and I nodded without a reply and walked away to head to my car.

I made it home safely after picking up my medicine and quickly finished the report.

Finally getting into bed I let my body relax and then I let the sobs escape me as I cried silently in my bed, thinking of telling Erin this was a mistake and I would like to be reassigned .

The next morning, I got up and showered and prepared to go into work and face whatever was thrown my way.

I walked into the office and set my things down and then handed in my paper work.

“I heard you were joining us” a voice said behind me and I smiled at the voice and turned around leaping into his arms to give him a big hug.

“It’s good to see you kid, but I guess you aren’t a kid anymore” Rossi said into my shoulder and I couldn’t help but feel the tears well up in my eyes.

“Hey now, none of that” he said as he wiped the single tear from my face. “Sorry I just haven’t seen you in a long time and missed you on the previous case we had” I explained and looked over his face. He aged very well and still looked as well as ever.

“Yeah I had some personal business, but I heard it didn’t go too well” Rossi said and I nodded while looking down.

“The team doesn’t like new people and it doesn’t help that I have to report back to Strauss” I said to him and he hummed as he looked around.

“Well one thing they need to understand is that there won’t be anything to report back to her because we are all going on just fine” Rossi said and I smiled knowing he was right. Maybe I should just stick out a bit more, things will get better with time.

“And I have never met someone who doesn’t warm up to sweet old you” Rossi said and I knew he was trying to comfort me but he was right after all.

I walked back to my desk and worked on things I had to catch up.

Meanwhile Rossi went to make coffee for himself and most of the team were there discussing Olivia.

“What was that about Rossi?” Morgan asked having seen the encounter between him and Olivia.

“She’s from an old case I got, she was only 15 at the time. And ever since then I would check in on her from time to time” Rossi explained and the whole team shared a look and Rossi started chuckling.

“Guys she’s not bad. Yes, she’s her to report anything strange to Strauss but she’s one hell of an agent and has worked very hard to be where she is now. Besides there is nothing she has to report, right?” Rossi asked but his eyes settled on Morgan with the question obviously knowing what had happened.

“Rossi don’t get me wrong, I just don’t think we need a snake amongst us, will she have our backs when it comes down to it?” Derek said out loud speaking for everyone.

“She’s not a snake Morgan, she’s just doing her job, as for her having our backs? I have no doubt” Rossi said and walked back to his office with his coffee.

The next two months went by quickly with case after case rolling in, it did get better with time although Morgan and Emily was still a bit cold towards me but the rest of the team made me feel comfortable enough to stay.

Currently the team were on a local case, and there were already 12 people dead. Someone was using a home cooked version of the flu, except this strain was the killing kind. It started like flu symptoms but quickly escalated to coughing up blood and then drowning in your own blood as your lungs gave in. There was no antibiotic to help yet, coming into contact with the substance seemed fatal.

 The team had it narrowed down to someone who worked in the CDC but was either fired or lost a love one.

“Garcia what do you have?” Hotch asked as she phoned him back.

“Sir there are too many, I need to narrow it down more” she replied and you were all looking over the information you had.

“Try someone who recently lost a loved one due to negligence in the medical field” Spencer said and I heard Garcia typing and searching. “No nothing” she said and I looked over the board, the puzzles coming together. “Penelope, try someone who was diagnosed with a terminal illness and insurance wouldn’t cover the treatment” I said as I looked over the victims information. They all either worked in the hospital or as insurance brokers.

“Yes yes, I got a Mr Hendrickson, his daughter was 6 with leukaemia and insurance wouldn’t cover the next rounds of chemo, she died 4 months ago. He’s a single father as the wife died while giving birth, this poor man” Garcia said and you all nodded knowing it was him.

“I’m sending you his location now” Garcia responded and all of the phones went off with his location.

“We will check his home address, Spencer and Emily check his work” Hotch said and everyone rushed to file into the cars.

Emily and Spencer arrived at his work place which happened to be a coffee shop under construction, Emily said to Hotch that he was there and they were instructed to get people off of the streets right away.

The rest of the team arrived and quickly barricades were set up, soon Strauss arrived as well to over see the situation.

Emily, Spencer, get out of there we have the place surrounded and we are waiting for the CDC” Hotch said and I saw Emily walk with Spencer but then Spencer stopped and ran into the coffee shop. Emily ran after him but then stopped suddenly.

“Stop, stop. Theres another woman in here but he’s got the AC running, we’ve been exposed. Emily get back as I don’t know how far it can travel outside” Spencer said over the teams communication line. Hotch ordered Emily to come back although she was hesitant.

All other people that were around was taken to the hospital immediately to check for any symptoms.

“Spencer what do you see?” Rossi asked and you all listened as he walked around inside. “He’s here, but he’s dead, there is powder all over the floor. This was his working station. This whole place is a death trap, he knew we were coming” Spencer said and my heart was beating loudly for worry.

Over the past months Spencer was the one I got closest to. We both enjoyed reading and being nerds as well as being closer in age made it easier.

Strauss was on the phone with the director by the CDC and she looked grim.

“What is it?” Hotch asked as she put the phone down and sighed. “They have the sample he’s been using. They will try and get an antidote but the longer he’s in there the worse he’ll get and we can’t risk him coming out” Strauss said and everyone cursed by the news.

“Spencer what else is there?” I asked waiting for a response and heard him speak softly.

“I see a lot of liquids and tubes and the powder” he replied with a wheeze. Spencer didn’t have a lot of time left and you all knew it.

“Fuck it” I said as I stepped forward but Strauss grabbed my arm stopping me. “You are not going in there” she instructed and I glared at her.

“I’m not leaving him to die” I growled out and ripped my arm out of her grasp, she raised her shoulders “I will have your badge, I am not letting two agents die” she replied and I chuckled as I pulled my badge out along with my gun and slammed them down onto the table.

Everyone looked shocked at me for what I just did and Strauss was speechless as I turned and ran down the street and into the coffee shop.

I stepped over the woman’s body and walked to the back where Spencer was sitting down struggling to breathe.

His eyes were closed and light sweat had formed over his face.

“Shit…” I said as I walked to the back and opened all the cupboards looking for something to help. When I saw a black duffle bag, I walked over to it quickly and saw an oxygen tank with a mask along with tubes filled with green and blue liquid.

I ran over to Spencer and slipped the mask over his face and turned the oxygen on. “What are you doing?” he whispered out as he looked up at me.

“I'm not a person to leave anyone behind” I said and walked back to his table. I read over his folders but they were all a mess. The tubes had to mean something, green and blue. One was the disease and one was the cure. But which one was which.

In all my years working with chemistry, blue was usually the antidote and green was the disease, but this guy knew we were onto him.

He would make it so we thought we knew the antidote but we were clever and I knew he would set a second trap. And there were a lot more blue than green, he had to have kept the antidote in smaller quantity to have the impact he wanted.

“Green it is” I said and pulled two tubes out along with the needle and syringe. “Sorry about this Spencer” I said as I pushed the needle into his arm and injected the liquid into his blood stream.

“Okay I’ve given Spencer the green tube, I'm sure it’s the antidote. Can CDC set up a point to decontaminate us?” I asked and heard shouting on the line.

“What do you mean you are sure? We don’t know which one is which” Hotch said over the line and I groaned as I helped Spencer stand.

“There were only 4 tubes of the green, he knew we were coming inside the shop. Why have more antidote than the disease. I know what he was thinking” I groaned out as Spencer slumped more and he was heavy.

“We are coming out, have the CDC ready” I said as I opened the door before pocketing the last two tubes and walked out to see there was a tent set up. 3 workers ran over to us and helped us inside, they were dressed in full hazmat suits.

I pulled the two bottles out and then the blue one as well. “Get them tested to see which one is the cure” I said as I felt my chest becoming heavy. One of the men grabbed the tubes and dropped a few drops of each into a container and then smiled.

“Good guess agent, the green is the cure. We’ll just scrub you down and take the cure to the remaining victims in the hospital” he said and I nodded with a small smile.

Spencer was placed on more oxygen as well as me and as soon as we felt a bit better we were instructed to strip down so that our clothes could be burned.

“Thank you” Spencer said as we both were busy undressing, I looked over at him as he was busy undoing his shirt buttons. “I'm just glad you are okay, what’s a job compared to saving a friend” I said to him and watched as he stopped and looked back up at me.

“What do you mean your job?” he asked and I chuckled as I continued unbuttoning my shirt. “Strauss said she’ll have my badge if I go to you” I said as I turned my back to Spencer and heard him do the same as I was not able to look him in the eyes if I were to stand there naked. But when our fronts were sprayed, we were instructed to turn and had to face each other, I kept my eyes straight forward but I saw Spencer’s eyes slip down and then the quickly looked up at the roof with a deep red blush covering his cheeks. I smiled as he blushed and wanted to laugh at the situation.

Obviously the first time in almost a year I was naked with a guy had to be cause of work.

After being hosed down with freezing cold water both Spencer and I were handed robes to cover ourselves with.

We walked back to the team and as the team one by one hugged Spencer I saw Hotch speaking to Strauss and I knew it was him having to sign off on me.

“Don’t ever do that again” Rossi scolded me as he pulled me into a side hug. “Sorry Rossi, but you know I like to live every day as if it’s my last” I said and he chuckled at my words.

“Don’t I know it, you’re the reason I'm so grey” he grumbled and I laughed out loud at him “I thought that was due to wife number 3” I said with a smirk and felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned to see Morgan standing there along with JJ and Emily, Spencer standing just behind them.

“That took some balls, I'm glad you have a big pair” Morgan said and extended his hand out towards me. I took it and smiled as I knew he was finally accepting me in the team.

“Thank you Morgan, it wasn’t much just a hunch” I said and he shook his head at me.

“Don’t down play it sweetness, you’ve got brains, muscle and balls. Sure you not a dude?” he asked laughing and it sent me into a fitful laugh as well.

“I'm pretty sure, you can even ask Spencer. He saw that I'm a woman” I said and Morgan arched his eyebrow at my words and turned to a blushing Spencer.

“Alright drinks tonight” Emily said and everyone agreed happily quickly. “Not for me, I’ll have to clean out my things” I mentioned and the team looked around at each other.

“Why?” Hotch asked and I looked curiously at him “You heard Strauss, she has my badge” I said and watched as he reached behind him and handed over my badge and gun.

“She might have pulled you from her operation but we have been looking for another team member and I think we found one, congratulations. You are one of us now fully, no Strauss anymore, directly anyway” Hotch said and I smiled as I took it back. Everyone cheered and JJ pulled me into a side hug.

I went home and took another shower to feel a bit better and saw I had some time to kill before tonight and decided to take a small nap. After waking up I stretched my aching muscles and raided my closet, I decided on a pair of jeans that hugged all my curves just right along with an off the shoulders white top.

Everyone met up at the bar around 8, drinks were flying around as well as stories being thrown around the table, everyone laughed and as the music got louder Emily and Morgan went to go dance.

“Just look at him” Garcia said and you followed her line of sight and it fell on Morgan. “Go dance with him” I said and she shook her head while drinking from her straw. “I can’t he’s just so hot and I'm not besides I have Kevin” she said and I shook my head at her. “Garcia you are hot, don’t body shame yourself” I said and she looked down at her outfit and then back to me. “Penelope, yes we aren’t as thin as those girls dancing around him but you know what matters? It’s owning your body and giving off confidence” I said and she smirked at me.

“Oh yeah big mouth, prove it” she said and my jaw dropped open at her words “Is that a dare?” I asked her with a laugh thinking she was joking. “Yes it is, show me what ya got” she said and I leaned over to grab a shooter from the table and quickly threw it back.

“Fine watch and learn” I said as I stepped onto the dance floor and started swaying my hips along with the music. Closing my eyes I felt the music in my pulse and went with it. I moved with the crowd and stared at Penelope as I moved closer to Derek and turned so my back was facing him as I moved my hips in tune with the music. I felt hands on my waist and looked down to see Morgans hands and grinned as I looked over to Garcia in which she raised her glass at me.

I giggled as the alcohol went straight to my head but I was enjoying my time out with the team, finally the tension was broken and I was one of them.

I moved a bit away from Derek and continued to dance with him but I felt a body press up against me and frowned as I looked over at the guy. “No thanks” I said and pushed his hands off of me but he grinned and pulled me into him. His breath stank of cheap cigarettes and beer. “Come on baby, I saw you grinding on him and his hands all over you, now it’s my turn” he said and I glared at him.

“Yeah so what, that doesn’t give you the right to touch me” I sneered at him and he smirked down at me. “So you’d rather have a black guys hands all over you than your own kind?” he growled at me and I felt Morgan step up behind me clearly hearing his words.

“Listen here, I would rather have every finger and body part of this fine man right here all over me than one single pinky of yours” I hissed at him and watched as he glared at us both. “Fat bitch” he threw my way and I felt Morgan step forward but grabbed his hand shaking my head.

“Don’t, he’s just jealous and obviously compensating” I said loud enough for him to hear and turned my attention back to Derek as we started dancing again.

I felt a bit uncomfortable after hearing those words I’ve heard so many times and clearly Derek noticed.

“Get him out of your head” he said to me over the music and I looked up at him “But he said the truth, I'm both fat and a bitch” I replied to him feeling my confidence slip away from one asshole’s words.

“Hey no don’t do that, where is the confident bitch I know, the one brave enough to sway her hips and have all eyes on you. Look around since you came up dancing with me all the other girls went away, why? Cause you are one fine ass mama” Derek said and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at his words. I nodded my head and slipped into my own mind again with the music, Derek’s hands on my hips as we moved in sync.

He pulled me flush against his body and I felt his hand on my waist and turned to face him.

“Derek don’t take this up wrong, you are really hot but I'm not…” “stop right there” Derek said and I looked at him confused. “This isn’t for me sweetheart” he said and I was about to question him but he pulled my hips back against his own and swayed until we were turned the other way. “Open your eyes baby” he said and as I did my eyes met Spencer’s.

His eyes were glued to my swaying hips and I blushed as I saw the look of lust in his eyes before his eyes met mine and he quickly looked away.

“Derek Morgan you are pure evil” I said to him and felt his chest rumble with laughter. “Let’s go get more drinks” he said and I nodded as we walked back to the table.

“Holy shit Olivia, you did well on your dare. And when that second guy stepped up, I just mean wow” Garcia said and I felt my cheeks burn but opted to down my drink instead of replying.

“Alright guys that’s it for me” I said and heard them groan out clearly not happy.

“Hey I have something early in the morning and I gave you a good show, so hush” I said and grabbed my bag. “I’ll walk you out, I also have something tomorrow” Spencer said and I smiled gratefully before saying goodnight to the rest of the team.

Spencer and I shared a cab and as it pulled up to my apartment, he got out with me and said his was just two apartments away.

“Thank you again for today” Spencer said and I looked into his eyes seeing only pureness in them.

“Of course Reid, I wouldn’t let you down like that” I said and turned to walk up the few steps. “well, I guess I’ll see you when we have another case” I said to him and watched as he awkwardly waved at me and walked off to his own building.

I pushed my keys into the door and made sure to lock it behind me, heading straight for bed I took my shoes of and changed into pj’s. Sleep came easily and I was pulled into darkness fast.

[pbandjesse]

My allergies are kicking off and I am exhausted. I had wanted to participate in house projects with James this evening but instead I have just been. Stuck here on the couch. Firstly I was freezing. Then I was just. So tired. Ugh. I will try to go to bed earlier tonight.

I didn't even sleep poorly. I would get woken up a few times. James pulled a lot of our blankets over themselves away from me. And I was cold. But it was fine. I was not thrilled about waking up but I was fine. I laid with James for a few extra minutes. But I would get up and things would be okay.

I asked James to make the bed with the. Blanket turned side ways so that we would have more length across both of us. And I hope that that works.

I would get dressed and felt okay. I really loved how my hair looked last night but of course it wasnt the same when I woke up. I sort of got it to a place I liked but I was still struggling today. I don't know what's up with me but I'm trying to be kinder to myself.

I left here earlier then I thought I would. I got a good hug from James before I left. And I got to see the pretty pink trees outside our house. Our tree hasn't bloomed yet and I'm curious what kind of tree it is. There seems to be a few of the pinks and them the rest may be the same kind but I do not know what kind they are. It will be fun to see how the neighborhood looks in different seasons.

I had a really nice drive to camp. No traffic at all. I listened to an album I loved when I was 12. And was just in a good mood.

I stuck to my morning plan and went to sweep top bar. Which took about a half hour. I flipped some mattresses and tried to make it look nice. And then I went to the office to go have my breakfast.

I would watch a TikTok that made me cry. About a girl and her dad having a really powerful connection over one specific song and he just passed away and it was just. A lot. I did not want to be teary when other people came in so I had to pull myself together.

Sarah would come in a little after 9. She had her own breakfast and we would start attacking our list of chores for the open house.

While Sarah would go work on cleaning the fort, I would design some table signs and then laminate then. The laminator did not work amazing but I ran all my signs through it twice. And headed out into the world.

I went over to the pioneers first and cleaned up the fire pit area. Moved the grill back in place. Fold red d the blue tarp. Picked up trash. It looks better. I also fixed a part of the fence and I think it looks good.

I would go and set up tables in the lodge. And clean the bathrooms. I was getting a lot done.

I started cleaning the signs outside. But I am short and could only reach half way. Which looked very funny. I got a lot of the green stuff off of the bottom halves though. And we would go with the gator later and I would stand on the back and we were able to reach two of the 4 signs.

I would go find Sarah in the fort. She was finishing up sweeping. I would help sweep the bathroom and we would finish up pretty easy.

We drove the gator to the Alaskans. I worked on the bathrooms while she swept. We had an excellent divide and conquer system and we got so much accomplished.

I would go over to tipis and picked up some stuff and tried to make it look nice. And since we were going to have our lunch break next anyway I texted Sarah I would meet her at the office. And I went for a little walk.

I walked down to the Glen to see if any of the frog eggs looked like anything yet. But nope. Still just dots. I'll keep checking. I want to see the tadpoles in there.

I continued the walk and went through and found some mushrooms and things and it was great. Just a really lovely walk.

I would have my lunch and me and Sarah both agreed we were so tired. So we took a long break before we would do anything else.

While I had my little break I would eat and watch videos. I did some research about cabinet colors to match with our pink wall. It was nice.

We would go back out and finished our last tasks. Used the gator as a ladder and cleaned the signs. We finished moving some beds. And I was proud of us for all of the hard work. We had lots of laughs driving around on the gator. It was a beautiful day. And even if I am feeling really self conscious I was still having a lot of fun.

We decided to go visit the horses. I hadn't met the new horse. And he is so sweet. We walked through the very muddy field and said hello to everyone. Have lots of pets and cuddles. And when we got to the bottom of the hill we saw a school bus pull up. And it was Aubrey! And she climbed the fence and starts walking and we're just standing there waving. And she finally noticed us and we were all laughing. We would tease eachother and walked up to her house together. She's a good kid.

We would head back to the office and checked in with Alexi about everything we accomplished. And it was nice that she was really happy with us and that made me feel nice. There was some stuff we couldn't do. Like putting the tent back together at homestead. But we did so much and I'm very proud of us.

Heather would ask me to design a job flyer. We need ropes specialists and apparently we are struggling to find them. I had fun making it and Heather would go in and change some of the copy which was fine with me, mine was mostly a place holder. We did laugh really hard when we realized that I wrote "flaying squirrel" instead of "flying squirrel" oops. Flaying a squirrel would be a good camp skill though probably.

I finished that up and when Heather said she was happy with it I was like. Okay! I'm going home! I will see you all on Sunday!

And I headed right home. It was a pretty good drive back, some traffic. Some people driving stupid. But I got home at 430 and got a pretty good parking spot.

When I got inside James wasn't home yet. I would bring the mail in. I closing s random Amazon package of pens? That neither of us ordered?? Very weird.

I went to put away some stuff. And found a jewelery box on the kitchen island with a necklace from James. That was originally supposed to be a Christmas gift but had gotten lost. But they found it and I was so happy. It's so sparkly.

I would go upstairs to take some photos of my possible outfits for Uganda. Which I'm still pretty unsure about but I'm getting clearer I think. And waited for James to come home.

When they got home they would play one round of their football video game. And then jumped right into tasks. I was kind of falling apart though. I got cuddled up on the couch and told James about the day. And they made me dumplings for dinner.

They would work on hanging the art I laid out some the shelf in the living room. And they got a lot of that done before the drill died and needed to be charged.

They would jump into painting the stairwell. And I would just be a little potato on the couch. But James said it was fine and just asked for my input when they needed it.

Now they are finishing up the hanging of pieces in the living room and it looks great. I'm so excited for how everything is coming together.

Now though I think I want to get a shower and get ready to sleep. Tomorrow I am hoping to go to thrift stores and possibly get the wood to build my skinny bookshelf. But we will see how the day unfolds. I just hope I can feel peaceful.

I have been feeling kind of stressed because I feel pulled in so many directions. Like I'm finally feeling better and so now it feels like everyone wants me to be doing everything and I just cannot. I need to be alone and I don't want to hurt my more extroverted friend's feelings. But man. I am tired inside. Walking around alone at camp today helped a lot. And I hope tomorrow helps too.

Sleep well everyone. I love you all. Goodnight

[lestappenforever]

I have some Lestappen speculation (for funsies of course)

I recall there was a shared Lestappen bracelet post some anon mentioned and a link was shared. The bracelets were interesting and I don’t know why it’s not spoken about more. Or maybe it was at the time it’s just interesting that no one talks about it anymore. I have so many questions, where did they get them from? Whey were they similar? Like we know back in 2019 they weren’t the best of friends (as they presented in public, we don’t know what goes on bts) but from what we could see there wasn’t as much warmth as we have now. So, how did they end up with the same bracelets?

The other thing I’ve been curious about is Charles’ ring that he wears on his ring finger. Do you know where it’s from? Who gave it to him? I have some ideas about that too but I don’t want to share them lest I’m using misinformation to base my theories on.

What do you think of the bracelets? And the ring? I also hope your followers can pitch in too because I’m trying to connect dots but something is missing.

I hope this is not a bother.

I think the "Max and Charles having the same bracelets" was spoken about quite a bit when it first occurred, but I wasn’t on Tumblr back then so I have no sources confirming or denying this. However, given the excellent minds always appearing in the Lestappen tag, I have no doubt this topic has been discussed at length on several occasions in the past. (And if anyone reading this has links to any such posts, please send them my way.)

As to why they were similar: I have no idea. My logical, non-shipper brain will say it was probably completely coincidental, but my delusional shipper brain will think that there was a reason. That it was a deliberate move from them both. No clue what that delusional reason could be, though.

As for the ring on his ring finger, I'm not actually sure where it’s from. (Maybe someone reading this does, though? Please feel free to let me know if so.) But, he's been wearing it for quite some time — at least around two years around this point. It might be from APM, the jewellery brand he works with, or it might just be because he likes it. Either way, it’s not a very new thing, but the whole lore beyond it isn’t something I know much about. I personally wear jewellery for no other reason except I want to and I feel like it, and it’s just default for me to assume that other people do the same, without there being some deeper meaning behind it.

However, if anyone reading this has any thoughts, ideas, or facts related to any of this, please feel free to share! I'd love to read it, and so would this lovely anon.

(And don’t you worry, anon, you’re not a bother at all. And I hope you're having a good day/night, depending on your timezone. ❤️)