#i'm just here to experiment—there are loads of people with more experience that would probably be of more help

[braisedhoney]

I'm very curious, what kind of animation program do you use?

I personally also animate and use a program called Blender, it's both good for 2D and 3D animation and is both friendly for beginners and more experienced people, once you start understanding all of the controls

(Also, your animations look amazing and I love your content!)

ooh okay, so if you'd asked me this about two or three months ago i would have said procreate, (which is actually what i still used for this one bc i procrastinated trying other programs even after i snagged them... oof.)

anyway a few months back i was introduced to a program called toonsquid, which is an ipad app. it's probably one of the most intuitive (for a procreate user anyway) animation apps i've ever seen. i've never really got on well with flipaclip no matter how hard i tried, so i was blown away by the capabilities of toonsquid in comparison (i was even able to transfer a brush or two into it, tho i did have to manually edit them so they would behave). that's what i used for the animation i just posted.

it's paid, but i personally don't mind that since it's a one time purchase atm and not a subscription model. there are a bunch of youtube videos out there for tutorials too, so i've been having a great time now that i finally gave in and swapped. i've heard a lot about blender over the years, but since i do basically everything on my ipad i've never had the chance to test it.

(thank you btw!! they're definitely not where i want them to be yet, but swapping to a program that actually imports audio has been a godsend ;; lipsync is so much easier that it hurts lol)

[smol-n-smol]

Odd One Out: Chapter 1

A/N: Finally banged out the first chapter for this story based on this idea I came up with a little while ago. I hope y'all enjoy! I'll make a proper blurb at some point

Also I'm gonna be so fr, I've never done a tag list for a story before, so I'm just pulling this based on people from comments/tags who sounded like they wanted an update? If you want to be added or removed, just let me know :)

Tag List: @axolotlsdreams @seasonschange32 @tthevoic3s @kgonbeiden @coffehbeans

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With its multilevel Roman-inspired buildings and wide cobblestone paths, the Kingston Academy campus is practically a work of art in and of itself. The early morning air carries the scent of prestige and erudition along a crisp autumn breeze.

Eriel stands before the glimmering gates of the academy, building up the nerve to walk through. He’s intimidated by the size of it all, though probably not for the same reason as most new students. It’s less that he’s afraid of getting lost in such a large place, and more that he’s scared of accidentally crushing something beneath his feet.

As the first giant to attend Kingston, it’s obvious that the school was never designed with his kind in mind. Most of the three story buildings don’t even reach the height of his shoulders. Even the monumental clocktower in the center of the courtyard just barely passes his 46 ft frame. 

If Eriel really wanted to, he could probably  jump right over the entrance gate in front of him. Not that he would ever do such a thing of course!! The thought alone of accidentally damaging something (or worse, someone!) is enough to send a wave of goosebumps down his spine.

Thankfully or unfortunately — Eriel is still trying to decide whether his enrollment here is a good or bad thing — the gilded gates part, at last inviting him onto the campus. There aren’t many students out yet, which makes sense. It’s barely past 7 AM on a Monday. Given the choice, Eriel wouldn’t be up this early either. Even so, the giant’s eyes stay focused on the ground as he navigates to the gymnasium on the other side of campus.

Usually students receive their orientation packets inside the administration building, but given his impressive size, there are only a handful of buildings that Eriel can fit into at all. The gym doubles as an auditorium and a venue for special events. The high ceilings were probably originally meant for improved ventilation and added elegance, but now the only benefit Eriel cares about is that he can at least sit inside without feeling overly claustrophobic.

He enters the building through a modified loading dock door. While he still has to crouch to fit through, it’s much better than having to crawl on his hands and knees like the first time he visited the building for interviews and psychological evaluations. Now that was a humiliating experience. He had been poked and prodded, and asked the most demeaning questions. Eriel shoves those memories back into a mental box. He needs to stay focused on the present moment.

Once he reaches the main area of the gymnasium, Eriel is finally able to sit down properly. The sunlight from the windows warms his skin. While he may not feel hot and cold the way that humans do, it's  a comforting sensation nevertheless. If he closes his eyes, he can almost pretend that he’s back in the forest with his family.

He misses them, despite it only being the first day. If the integration program goes well over the next year, maybe his little sister will be able to join as well. She’d probably learn much more easily in a school than from the limited knowledge that Eriel is able to share with her every so often. It was difficult enough to teach himself most of what he knows — his knowledge a hodgepodge of information from the occasional abandoned books that sometimes wound up in the forest.

He doubts that Lora will keep up with his studies while he’s away, but a big brother is allowed to hope, right?

Just the thought of the young girl falling asleep while poring over a human textbook is enough to make Eriel chuckle aloud.

“I’m glad to see you in bright spirits today,” a voice says, bringing Eriel back to the present moment. 

Mr. Leeway, the head administrator and school guidance counselor, now stands on a walkway that wraps around the walls of the room. Eriel meets his gaze nervously, though less eye-to-eye and more eye-to-full-body. Thankfully with a giant’s enhanced vision, Eriel has no trouble with making out the details of the man before him.

“Good morning, sir,” Eriel greets in response, his back straightening as he now sits in a human’s presence. “Thank you again for allowing me to attend school here.”

The counselor  waves a hand, brushing aside Eriel’s politeness. “No need to be so formal now,” Mr. Leeway responds kindly. “You’ve more than earned your spot here after all.”

Immediately, the giant’s shoulders drop. In retrospect, those were the words he’s been hoping to hear. The ones he needed most for today.

He’s grateful that Mr. Leeway is so accepting of him. Hopefully the rest of the staff are as well. Eriel has yet to meet any of the professors at the academy. While it’s unrealistic to expect everyone to be this friendly, hopefully no one is too afraid or mean. 

As Mr. Leeway patiently talks him through the school handbook, the dorm system, and the giant accommodations scattered across the campus, Eriel can’t help but feel like maybe things will be okay.

“Any other questions?” the counselor asks, pausing long enough for Eriel to shake his head before continuing. “Perfect. Well in that case, I’ll let you get a head start towards your first class. Best of luck, kid.”

Eriel sits still until the human leaves before at last rising stiffly to exit the building.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The campus is much livelier now than it was less than an hour ago. Students walk in small groups to different destinations — some dressed in uniform and heading to classes, while other folks are still in pajamas, clearly in search of their first meal.

Eriel is one of the less fortunate folks, his first class starting at 9 AM. He’s always been a bit of an early riser, as most giants tend to be, but part of him wishes that he opted for a schedule with a later start time. He’d appreciate a bit more time before having to face his new peers.

Mr. Leeway assured him that all the students received a special training and information session on interacting with giants. In theory, everyone should be prepared for this transition. And yet, as Eriel rises to a standing position, stretching slightly to relieve his back of some of its stiffness,  it’s as if the whole world holds its breath.

Everyone stops whatever they’re doing once Eriel reaches his full height. The slight crack of his joints resounds throughout the quiet air, unintentionally drawing even more attention to the giant. 

The poor students closest to him quickly back away, and one especially frightened soul even faints. Eriel winces at that. The reception makes sense, and honestly, it could be a lot worse.

Slowly, the giant takes a step, just a small one in the direction of his class. Immediately, a group of nearby students begins to run away, despite the ample space Eriel makes sure to leave between himself and any humans. The giant sighs but continues on his way. What else can he do?

It takes only a couple of minutes for Eriel to cross the campus to his destination. The English building stands before him, just barely reaching his chest. There’s no chance that Eriel is going to be able to squeeze into the building itself, much less one of the classrooms inside. For pretty much all of his classes, he’ll have to sit outside and listen in through the windows. 

Eriel follows the instructions in his handbook packet to find the window for his first class. A large awning has been set up along that side of the building — big enough for Eriel to be able to sit beneath for protection from the weather. He’s used to sitting outside for prolonged periods of time, but he appreciates the cover anyways. It will certainly help to keep his notes neat at least.

With the few minutes he has before class begins, Eriel puts down his backpack and digs out his notebook and pencil. The set was a gift from his mom — the pages were re-usable and the pencil was designed to provide more or less endless writing. Once he settles down in his dorm, he’ll be able to type everything up on the computer that the school provided him with, but this combination is much more efficient for carrying between classes.

Intro to English Literature, Eriel writes on the first page, taking his time in making the headline look pretty. It gives him an excuse to keep his head down and avoid the watchful gaze of the other students around him.

It’s only when the bell rings that he at last looks up, positioning his face so he can clearly see the blackboard through the window.

“Good morning, class,” the professor says as she enters the room. Her brown hair is done up in a bun and a pair of quirky glasses accentuate her wide grin. Her smile falters as her eyes meet Eriel’s, but props to her for managing to keep up the expression at all. The same can’t be said for the other ten or so students sitting in the classroom, who look back at him with expressions ranging from fear to disgust to cold interest.

“I’m Professor Dockerty,” the teacher continues, her introduction regaining the attention of most of the students. One boy is a bit slower to turn away, his blue gaze unabashedly staring right at Eriel. And then, the boy — Ashton, based on his response as Professor Dockerty takes attendance — smiles at him.

Okay, it’s more of a smirk, but even that’s better than the other looks.

“Did I miss anyone?” the professor asks.

Eriel gulps but shyly raises a hand, limbs tense and heart pounding as he draws additional attention to himself. A few of the students flinch as his fingers come into view of the window, and upon seeing that reaction, Eriel immediately puts his hand back down. Hot shame rises in his chest and his cheeks burn as he realizes the fear that a simple one of his actions could cause.

“I don’t think I heard my name, ma’am,” the giant all but whispers, desperately wishing for this moment to be over already.

Professor Dockerty laughs nervously, glancing down at her papers again. “Oh my, I must have missed it. Eriel, correct? Our giant student? Great! Well, if that's everyone then let’s start by going over the syllabus.”

Eriel doesn’t get a chance to say anything throughout her ramble, but the professor is already handing out paper packets to the students.. There are just enough for everyone in the room. Eriel doesn’t even bother asking if there are any extras for him.

[ashkabbom]

Would it have worked? - Mouthwashing

A/n: I think it's important to let you know that I haven't written frequently for a long time, but following something new has made me excited and with a peak of creativity, I apologize if I wrote something wrong or said something wrong 😭 feel free to correct me 🫶🏽

Versão em português no wattpad: Livro de One shots - Mouthwashing (Conta: ashkabbom)

I didn't write this in a romantic way, but please give my writing a chance 🙏🏽

Mini warnings: Mention of bullets and death of the main character, I think that's all?

When you arrived here, expectations and nervousness went hand in hand, but regardless of how strange and weird everything around you was, hope was something you insisted on having at all times. Tulpar will be a good or at least interesting experience.

You really made friends, don't think you didn't!

Having someone like Anya to talk to in the middle of the night when neither of you could sleep properly was comforting.

The dialogues you and Daisuke had were definitely something interesting, you got along well together, sometimes even Swansea was there too, claiming that two interns together wouldn't be a good idea.

Now, about the captain and him. The captain was actually quite calm, a very understanding man, sometimes he would join you and Anya at night... But he was something else. He could just be someone who was a little stressed and had a weird mood. There are a lot of people like that, right?

You remember talking to him and the captain a few times, but rarely, only when it was really necessary or just to relax.

A year transporting a load among so many stars, a load that you didn't even know what it was initially, it would be good to have a good relationship with the others on the ship, your companions after all.

You start to think as you stare at the sky projected on the huge screen, remembering the little conversation you had with your friend.

"Where do you think you would be if you hadn't come to work here?" Daisuke asks looking at you.

"Hmmm.. probably working in a supermarket I think. That was my option if this one didn't work out, so I would keep sending resumes to see if I could get a better job I think.." You say as you remember your old options, there weren't many, but there were still possibilities. "But what about you?"

"Honestly I don't know, I try to be positive about it.." Daisuke looked insecure and uncertain about where he could be now. "Would we still talk when we get back home? I don't know if I'm going to stay here after all this, their cake isn't the best." He tries to relax.

Out of all the people on this ship, Daisuke was the easiest to talk to and actually build some kind of relationship with, maybe because you two were the most positive in that situation.

Even with that foam everywhere on that ship, lost in a loud silence between the darkness and the stars, you were all going to make it back to Earth.

Maybe because you two were more naive than the others on that ship, the two sanest on that crew.

"Hey, you're a cool guy, I'm sure you'd be working in a good place!" A confident smile appears on your face, trying to dismiss your friend's worries. "Of course we would still talk to each other when we get back, we are friends after all, together here for months"

He smiles positively and you say not to go crazy before you, you laugh but are soon interrupted by Swansea asking what the hell you two were doing up in the middle of the night

It was kind of stupid. Maybe you two should have been a little more realistic about the situation. More than 4 or 5 months, shit, you didn't even have any sense of time anymore. No one had come looking for you yet. Had anyone noticed that you were missing and never contacted Pony Express again?

Sitting with your friends at that table, as if it were the day of that news, with everyone sitting together and the cake for the captain on the table.

Now, with a bullet hole in your forehead, along with your friends and that man, your head tilted to the side, you stare at the sky projected on the broken screen, wondering if this would have worked.

A/n: English is definitely not my first language, so I had a lot of translator help! Sorry for any nonsense words with other words.

I just wanted to write a little bit and I liked Mouthwashing, how the game approaches the theme of work and worker, each character's situation in relation to themselves and the general situation ^^. Feel free to tell me what you think of my writing and if you want me to write something, I wouldn't mind. 🎀

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Hey so uh how does one actually go about watching dsmp lore??? I tried watching it in full once from a big ass yt playlist that was meant to have all the important stuff but it was loads of giant long vods that I don't have the attention span for with tiny amounts of relevent lore and I didn't make it very far. I'm assuming ur not supposed to watch it like a show, right??? Like you don't have to watch literally everything that happened???? I could probably just cherrypick some important+interesting plot points and watch them in a vague order????? How do you people do this

Ah yes, DSMP lore, the forever discussion. I'll be honest, it's not easy to get into the DSMP lore because you have a bunch of different POVs that cover a bunch of different plot lines and events, and at least some of this is lost media (streams were not always archived so there are big chunks of people's POVs missing).

I agree that trying to watch ALL of it (all POVs, all storylines) is not a good approach. What is a good approach might be subjective, but here's my personal advice for the best way to experience the DSMP canon as a latecomer:

1 - Pick a specific POV and start with that

A lot easier than trying to watch all in one go or even cherry-picking 'important events' is to pick one specific person's POV and try to watch all of that. You can use a CC whose style you mash with. Personally, I would highly recommend Techno's POV not because I'm biased (though I am) but because he's one of the few CC who has a convenient playlist with all his streams, so you get a complete experience. He also was reasonably involved in a lot of 'bigger' events without streaming daily to the point it gets overwhelming to backwatch his POV. The downside of his POV is you'll miss the pre-Pogtopia stuff, but you can use his POV as a starting point to decide what other CC you'd want to see their POVs of, or watch more POVs of a specific event AFTER you've experienced it within the canon timeline. I do not recommend watching them in a vague order to start out though, I do feel you'd significantly lose the impact of the story.

2 - Yes, you have to watch the giant long vods (kinda)

Yes, the dsmp has a lot of random long 'filler' vods in between big events, but that filler often does build characters and makes you attached to them, so I don't really think skipping them completely and only watching compilations of big events is really going to give you a good experience. People also drop surprise background info in the vods sometimes, there's roleplay beyond just the Big Events (tm). At the very least, you should skim the large vods or maybe play them in the background while doing something else. If you pick a CC you really like, their long vods won't feel like a chore (again, Techno is great for this since he's so entertaining imo).

3 - But also you don't HAVE to watch the long vods (or anything)

On the other hand, the upside of the multiple POV thing is that you don't really like, have to experience everybody's POV. It's okay (and part of the true dsmp experience) to miss out on stuff. I never got into Kinoko Kingdom, I never got into Karl's whole time travel thing, I know very little about Puffy or Ponk or even Eret. You can just stick to your chosen POV and even if that's all you ever invest in, you got yourself a lovely little story to follow. Do not feel the pressure of needing to partake in EVERY plot line or character because I don't think there are many dsmp fans wo have done that and had a good time lol.

4 - You can get your lore from other sources

If you do want to know more about specific events, characters, dynamics, etc and don't want to watch a million POVs, there's really no shame in getting your lore from other sources. Fanart, fanfic, animatics, the wiki, transcripts or lore analysis fans wrote, etc. My only advice is to stay mindful that fans are biased and in the dsmp fandom specifically some people get really fanon-y with their interpretations, so keep that in the back of your mind. Try to take everything with a grain of salt or not just listen to the stans of one character, because they might be misrepresenting canon lol.

I'm not a big fan of a lot of the compilation videos that try to condense the entire dsmp because they often seem super biased to one character and you lose all the charm of the multi-pov approach, hence why I don't advise them as, like, the 'main' or 'first' way to get into dsmp. BUT if you already watched your chosen blorbo's POV and you just want to get some more bite-sized content on one specific event or character, some compilation videos can be nice. Just, again, be aware that you're losing at least SOME context and seeing a very condensed version.

If you want to partake in any kind of lore analysis or discussion for the love of god make sure you got your canon facts straight bc I'm so sick of people bringing fanon/heacanons into actual lore posts- -gets shot-

5 - Just find somebody who is mentally ill /j

In the same vein as 'it's okay to get your lore from other sources', other sources can be 'a random dude on tumblr'. There's a ton of people who are still very passionate about specific characters/lore from the dsmp or the dsmp as a whole, and who probably are more than willing to talk about their favs and lay out the lore for you. I know I certainly need only minimal encouragement to yap about c!Techno and his lore and his relationships for HOURS, and I'm knowledgeable about canon dsmp lore in general, so even if it's not about c!Techno I don't mind answering questions. Curious about a specific character/event/lore thing? Just ask somebody. It's free, it's quick, it's going to make a mentally ill person's day /hj

Again with this one I do advise keeping in mind that some people are biased and might confuse fanon with canon (I'm reasonably good at not doing that, I'd say, but I am a little biased towards c!Techno to some degree probably), and I'd only advise doing it after you've already watched your chosen POV at least for a little while and only use it to get extra info or other perspectives. Unless you wanna ask somebody to lay out like, THE ENTIRE LORE of the server which seems kinda silly. But I bet you'd still find somebody who is willing to do that (sombody is me).

Sorry for yapping so much lol

[whateversawesome]

SxF Chapter 91: Perspective, History, Empathy

Let me start by saying that I didn't think this chapter would make me so emotional. Was it the same for you?

A small side character like Millie, who we saw only as one of Yor's annoying co-workers, turned out to have a very sad backstory and gave us a glimpse of how things are for young people in Ostania.

This chapter talks a lot about people understanding and misunderstanding each other. Millie was just talking about her own experience and feelings, she was explaining why it was so difficult for her to help during an event like this, and that lady felt personally attacked because she saw things from her own point of view and her sufferings.

In no way the story discards any of those ladies' sufferings; what they went through during the war was very difficult, I'm sure. Nevertheless, comparing their sufferings and demanding Millie to act the same way just because they were able to do it, it's not right.

They both had different experiences because their circumstances were different, so they face life in their own way. That's exactly Yor's point.

Here, Yor demonstrates her best quality (and one of the many reasons why her husband fell in love with her): Emotional strength.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; Yor is a very emotionally intelligent character. The way she stood up for Millie displayed all her emotional strength. She called out that woman in such a smart way!! She wasn't rude but her words were true and very wise.

One of the most important things Yor mentions is that we cannot bear the same load because we're different. And I couldn't agree more👏

Also, if we take it as a metaphor, Yor is such a strong person because she carried a very heavy load: as a child and an orphan, she had to take care of her brother. Because of this, a naturally kind person like her had to learn to murder in order to survive.

It was a beautiful chapter. On top of everything, we learned a few important things:

1.Yor did lose her parents during the war and because of the war.

2.Donovan Desmond did NOT start the war. But plenty of young people like Millie don't know that, so it's possible that since he was Prime Minister during most of the war, he gets blamed for starting it.

3.Donovan Desmond is hated by many. That's probably the reason why he's no longer in office. And it also wouldn't be surprising that the majority of people in Ostania who voted against him want to move on from the war.

3.Melinda still wears her wedding ring and, even though she's separated from her husband, she still counts him as an important person for her. I guess, you can hate a person's actions and opinions, hate what they have become, but care about them at the same time...their marriage is complicated.

4.Not only Yor and Twilight fear the SSS because of their jobs. The general population do too because they know rich and powerful people can make them disappear regardless whether they are spies or not. That means arrests and disappearences of innocent people are common.

5.There was a repression during war time. This means the state controls and restricts certain rights of its citizens. When war happens, the state may determine it's necessary to protect their country and citizens. Chances are that policing of others started then and Ostanians got used to living like that.

And now some questions:

Was Melinda being sincere? In my opinion yes (for the most part). Melinda is no longer campaigning for her husband. In fact, she's going there incognito. Since her husband is no longer the Prime Minister and they don't have any elections to win, she doesn't have to support this types of events. If you think about it, once a politician retires from the public eye, their spouse generally goes back to their normal life.

Something that caught my attention was that it was mentioned Melinda has a lot of enemies; probably because her husband has a lot of enemies too. If that's the case, it would be easier for Melinda to move abroad, where she could have a care-free life, yet, she has chosen to stay in Ostania. Why?

Melinda is still a very mysterious character. We don't know her plans or intentions. We don't know why she separated from her husband. My only guess is that she's suffered a great deal and that's why she's able to empathize with Millie, even though their experiences are different.

What do you think?

Bonus (to end on a light note):

This is the Sxf when we see Yor 😄

[nebmia]

Reviewing every rpg book on my shelf: 5, Flying Circus

Flying Circus is a a game by Erika Chappell where you fly planes, have messy dramatic relationships, and find out who you are. Sometimes all at the same time. More specifically you fly *rickety planes from the dawn of aviation* and have messy, dramatic relationships, and find out who you are *in an essentially queer way*.

The first thing I love about Flying Circus is it's sheer audacity in taking pbta (usually deployed for low crunch storygame-y titles) and twisting it into a highly detailed and technical system for running dogfights. I think its really clever how Erika has taken the idea of a detailed combat system are re-appraised it from the ground up in the context of dogfighting.

There is no grid based movement here, it simply is not useful in the three dimensional world that planes inhabit. Instead your positioning is modelled through altitude and air speed, with each being tradeable for the other and spend able to perform maneuvers.

Honestly the whole system is rather intimidating (a fact the book freely admits). Each plane requires a little personal instrument panel sheet (and a few extra side sheets) that resemble somthing you would expect in a euro-game boardgame more than an rpg. The system goes as far as modelling how your plane performs as you use up your modelling fuel and with varying altitude. There are also a lot of fairly involved moves that it feels would be a little tricky to keep aware of while running a dogfight. However, from what I hear, the system works well and, once you understand it, isn't /that/ tricky to run. I think this isn't actually that crunchy when compared to your standard tactical battlers, it's just completely new (and working in a zone most people have less of an intuitive understanding of [although its worth noting that most peoples intuitive understanding of medieval style combat is dead wrong]) so we are unably to draw upon our preexisting assumptions.

You will notice I have to fall back on reports and intiitions here because I am yet to be able to play the game, which is honestly my biggest problem with it: it carves such a specific niche that I think I will really struggle to ever bring it to the table. Anyone I have talked to about the game has always responded to the effect of 'I don't think I'm into planes enough for this'.

I am also not half as into planes specifically as Erika Chappell is. But what I am into is getting deep into things in general, and this whole system excels at letting you get incredibly technical and nerdy about your plane (as far as things like exactly what radiator fluid it has, if you use the advanced rules) and making those choices actually matter in play.

ok, that's probably enough about planes (a phrase I anticipate has never once been uttered by the author of this book), what are you doing when you get out of the planes?

The game follows a cycle of mission and downtime, which you spend relieving stress (in healthy or unhealthy ways) and running upkeep on your company. This is where you do a lot of the character work and bring into focus the 'coming of age' narrative that the game intends.

Which seems a good lead in to talking about the playbooks. Each playbook is focused around a particular thematic idea or experience, which is helpfully spelled out directly in a 'themes' section for each one. This isn't a game where you play as a fighter because you want to solve problems by hitting them but rather one where you play as a Fisher because you want to engage with "a queer reclamation of the monstous", or a scion because you want to engage with "privilege and power, and what obligations come with it", or a believer because you want to engage with "a mindset that thrives on radicalism", or a survivor because you want to engage with "a metaphor for what it feels like to be a transgender person escaping an unwelcome or abusive situation".

Obviously, alongside themes you do also get a load of cool abilities to use.

Of the many games that claim to be ghibli-esque but I think Flying Circus hews closest on account of two things: understanding miyazaki's perspective on war and also due to being absolutely unhinged about planes.

[smuttysunny]

[ADA]Osamu Dazai NSFW Alphabet!

Genre: Smut

Synopsis: NSFW alphabet for our favourite bandaged suicidal maniac!

Contains: Overall GN reader, regardless of sex! Refrences to bdsm, public sex, pregnancy and breeding kinks, sex toys and more overall sexual stuff 😭🙏 there's way too much in here for me to list

Warnings: Not proofread‼️ English is also not my first language so there might be grammatical errors cuz despite me being fluent, i'm dumb asf!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Ngl... May seem a bit ooc but I imagine him actually being really sweet after sex, that is if you two are like together and not just a hook up or something lol. He'd praise you and tell you did so good and def help you clean up and take a bath/shower afterwards. Maybe even order food if you two feel up for it.

I imagine he'd also be pretty cuddly, holding you tightly as he nuzzles his face in your shoulder. Moments like these where he shows his vulnerability to someone yk?

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

On himself, probably his eyes or hands. He just loves looking at you and watching all your adorable reactions! And with his hands he, of course, gets to touch you anywhere and everywhere!

On you, the fav is either your face or thighs. Your face of course because of how it can twist and contort in pleasure! Again, he loves your reactions very much. As for thighs, he just loves grabbing and holding them, thin or thick, doesn't matter to him! He loves caressing them, kissing them, licking, biting, leaving hickeys on them, you name it! He also ADORES how your legs try to close when giving you head! Squishing him to death between your thighs truly seems like a great way to go!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

Cummin on you. This fucker definitely loves coating you in his cum. If you can get pregnant he'd definitely be against the idea of cumming in you if you're not using a condom, he is NOT ready for the responsibility of raising a kid, sorry breeding kink people.

But if you can't get pregnant then he's more than willing, he still prefers to see you coveres in his load tho, it's just hot to him, yk?

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I think he'd have a liking to purposefully walking in on you changing, just seems like the type of guy to ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Oh boy this man is def experienced from all the sleeping around he does 😭🙏 for all sexes too, not just afab ppl.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Following on from the hc from earlier, any position where he can see your face will have him satisfied! Although I don't think he'd be particularly picky, just would prefer to see your face.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

I'd imagine him to be quite silly while not ruining the mood, unless he's absolutely tired and done and needs something to let his frustrations out, ofc, but even then after he starts relaxing he'd def go back to his usual teasing and cracking jokes here and there!

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He'd do the bare minimum grooming 💀🙏 listen, he's too occupied living to really care about his hair down there but ig in some way the carpets would match the drapes because no matter how unkept he has his hair, it still looks shampoo commercial worthy so probably same thing down there aswell. Would occasionally give himself a trim tho, not fully unkempt.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

Depends on his mood and what it is. Quickie? Maybe less intimate as it's just meant to be a quick fuck but if it was proper sex at home he's def be on the more romantic side, unless again pouring his frustrations out on you, and even then, the way his eyes shine looking at you would still reveal the love he holds for you so <3

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

This cunt has the sex drive of a teen boy so he'd def be jerking off often, maybe like at least 2 or 3 times per week? Although he can hold himself back pretty well. I can also imagine him absolutely obliterating No Nut November just because he thought it'd be funny.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Can of worms... Which we will be disecting and studying as if its our finals hitting!

For starters, def maintained some of the less healthy kinks he had from his PM days like sadomasochism and gunplay, but at least now it's more of an overall roleplay/bdsm kink with no actual danger. Speaking of which he would LOVE to get tied up or tie you up, same for choking but more on the receiving end. Both giving and receiving for edging and orgasm denial too. Probably also has a big thing for being dominated; he doesn't mind domming but he'd absolutely LOVE to be stepped on and get his brains fucked out!

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He's shameless but not entirely. As far as he'd go is semi-public places like an alley or his car. As for favourite place, peobably the ADA office LMFAO particularly when it's empty because there's a risk of getting caught!

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

As mentioned previously, this guy has the sex drive of a horny teen so even the smallest touch could accidentally set him off.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would NEVER hurt his partner on purpose. Even for his more extreme kinks he'd make sure you're okay with it first and foremost before anything. Also ik dacryphillia is a big thing in these kinds of fics but if you ever started properly crying he'd stop IMMEDIATELY.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I think he'd prefer giving slightly more than receiving. He just loves being in between your legs, you know? And again, would love to get choked to death by your thighs <3

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends. If he's making love he'd 100% go slow and sensual, but if it's a quickie his pace would def be fast, a bit rough too but unintentionally! If he's fucking though... Walking privileges will 100% be lost from how rough he'd be lol

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He LOVES them. Legit cherishes them as if they're god's best gift to man, and to be honest to a man like him they sure are.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Seeing as how he'd be more than willing to fuck you in his car he'd def enjoy risks here and there, with consent of course(minus pregnancies goodness gracious, if you two are at it without a condom he'd immediately rush you to take your morning after pill afterwards). Again, he would never hurt his partner on purpose and if risks aren't your thing he'd be more than understanding

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

His stamina matches his horniness. If it were after him, he probably wouldn't stop till the sun rises so really it's up to his partner for how long sex will go lmfao

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Ohhh he'd love toys. Most likely owns a fleshlight for when you're not there to please him lolol

And don't feel left out! Because he'd love using toys on you too! Be it vibrators, dildos or something more obscure!

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

King of teasing™ will not miss a minute to joke about how desperate you are for him or any of the sort

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Loud but he does it on purpose just to add to his teasing. Also because he enjoys annoying the neighbors and if he'd doing it in a semi-public place, adds to the risk

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

Loves getting pegged.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

As a non dick haver I actually had to search a bit for this bit-

Uhhh maybe just a little above average idk??? Maybe like 6.2 inches or smth? I o ly rlly have a vague image of him not really being too thick but making up for it in lenght so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'll just leave this one up to your guy's imaginations 💖

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Already mentioned it like 5 times but omd he gets so horny so often you might aswell assume he's a rabbit

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Although I hc him to have slight insomnia because of depression, probably after sex is one of the only times he can actually fall asleep rather quickly. Just snuggle up to him nice and warm and he's out like a light in approximately 3 minutes. And he def sleeps like a log too lmfaooo

[hydrasra]

The wind knows

SYNOPSIS: trust and rely on teyvat. it'll always help you out.

DISCLAIMER: NOT FROM THIS WORLD's fourth and before last part before it goes on a hiatus and I get to experience fontaine so I know what to write for that region to further continue my story. ooc moments. probably swearing here and there, I forgot yet again. I'm serious about the fact that if I see someone's rewriting/stealing my story, I'll stop posting. just asra going crazy in this part. this part is probably shorter than the previous ones ngl.

TAGGING: [4/30] @bloop-booop @sunsethw4 @neverlandlostchild @code-roevember

v. SAFE FOR NOW

as soon as you were calm, paimon immediately took hold of your hand and gently tugged on it, "come on, you need to breathe some fresh air!"

and you meekly protested, saying how you didn't want people to see your tear stained face but lumine soon joined in and took your arm in hers, smiling from ear to ear, "so what? tears are no signs of weakness!"

nahida followed behind, giggling, "I agree with lumine, tears are no signs of weakness and crying is a normal emotion," she was walking by your side in mere seconds, "though, here," she gave you her handkerchief, "if you still don't want your people to see your tears, it's all right."

already thanking her for it, you would have taken her handkerchief if one of your hand was free and seeing this, lumine let go of your arm, grabbed nahida's handkerchief with a big smile and gently wiped your face, stopping paimon in her tracks.

"there! no need to complain anymore, or else, paimon will get angry," paimon joked and you couldn't help but giggle.

paimon prided herself in the fact that she made you let out a happy sound.

"you... are still alive?"

those words should have put the former geo archon on high alert, however... he simply nodded, bowing his head once more.

"yes, your divine eminence."

and everyone in the room, the servants entrusted by the liyue qixing to their 'creator' sitting on your throne, stared at the bowing man.

their 'creator' crossed their arms, a brow raised while they stared.

the silence was uncomfortable.

what were they waiting for?

after a couple of minutes, they spoke again, "rise, former geo archon," they paused, contemplating their next move, "we have a contract to make."

after the 'creator' has gone public, thanks to ningguang, many went to see them with offerings, gifts and went to them in hopes of finding cures or blessings from their 'creator'.

and, after their visits after requesting blessings and cures, those people... either mysteriously disappeared or nothing happened, making them turn their backs on the one they used to worship.

if they couldn't help out their own people, it only meant that they were fake.

"a trip to mondstadt would do you good," lumine had said.

"and it'll be loads of fun!" paimon added.

so why were you running for your life, following the two ahead of you while ducking and turning right then left on your trip to mondstadt?

what they forgotten was that: outside of sumeru's vast desert and forest, you were seen as an impostor in liyue, maybe in the other nations as well, you were not certain.

and to get to mondstadt, you had to go through liyue either way.

despite lumine choosing the safest, less populated route, after you voices out your concerns, you ran into some millelith.

"don't let the impostor escape!" one of the men yelled, a few feet behind you, prompting you to turn and look at them.

another mistake on your part.

nahida was against you going to mondstadt, for your own good and you'd agree with her. but you couldn't stay in one region only. this was the game that had you look up to something in life after all.

you agreeing to the traveler and her companion then convincing nahida to let you go and that lumine, who puffed out her chest in pride, promised to protect you, nahida couldn't do much... was the first mistake.

wanderer has suggested to go along with you but he could not, for he had duties awaiting for him and those duties could not wait.

you stepping in liyue was the second mistake.

their shouts were bound to attract the attention of nearby... authorities? threats? you no longer knew.

but seeing at how they were chasing you as soon as you walked by them, stating that 'their grace' was in liyue right now and tending to the people of liyue's matters, they immediately assumed that you were an impostor.

and a part of you agreed with them.

though, you knew that this was your face, the one you were born with, it was not your fault.

"halt, in the name of the liyue qixing!"

"eat shit!" the words were out of your mouth before you could even think about it and, somehow, that made lumine and you laugh, paimon nowhere in sigh yet you could hear her muffled laughter.

the path in fron of you seemed void of obstacles, yet, when you looked back again, the millelith were further than they previously were and you noticed that there suddenly were obstacles.

looking forward again, you noticed that you were nearer to the traveler, who, upon noticing your presence, grabbed your hand and made a sudden turn to the left.

strange.

that's when you noticed the waypoint.

and once she was near enough, she laid her hand on the teleportation device and mumbled, "the city of freedom!" in a hushed whisper.

then everything went white.

not before one threw their polearm at you, which cut your forearm and made it bleed, leaving behind a few drops of gold.

however, at the time, no one noticed.

for the first time in a long time, beidou had docked the crux in liyue harbour, having been summoned by ningguang whom, speaking of which, had been waiting for her friend's arrival.

"hey, ning!" beidou said, putting an arm around the tianquan's shoulder as kazuha jumped off the crux and onto the wharf before walking to the two women.

"captain beidou, I surmise that you have already gotten the letter I sent out to you while you were at sea," ningguang said, making no move to remove beidou's arm, having grown accustomed to it by now.

"what letter are ya talkin' about ey? there's lots," the captain of the crux said, laying her head against the tianquan's shoulder, and moving her arm to now rest on ningguang's waist, once kazuha was close.

"about the creator-"

the inazuman bowed in greetings once he stood in front of the tianquan who nodded at him in acknowledgement.

"ah, yes, yes! I remember."

"they've requested to see you."

somehow, at the same time, both of their blood ran cold, making the two exchange glances. which the tianquan noticed. she frowned and asked, "is something the matter?"

beidou pulled away and plastered on a fake, albeit convincing smile, "what are ya talkin' 'bout? nothing's the matter! we'll meet 'em shortly."

the always elegant woman nodded, gave them instructions on how to reach the 'creator's palace in the sky, almost the same way one was to reach the jade chamber before she left.

and once ningguang was out of earshot, beidou turned to kazuha who was staring up at the sky, the wind blowing gently around them.

"so? what's the wind sayin'?"

kazuha stayed quiet, eyes closing as he listened to the things the wind had to tell him.

══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══

he opened his eyes once more and looked at beidou, nodding,

"the true creator is in mondstadt and the one currently sitting on their throne is a fake."

the beidou main in me is so happy rn.

[d0miinoo]

Guys would anyone be interested in my manifestation journey 🗿 and maybe Idk help me with it and we could become friends and talk about shifting and manifesting and our stories and stuff... Idk.... 👀 also like don't judge me about what I manifest??? Like I would probably talk about popularity and friends and stuff and experiment because I'm so goddamn tired of being the weird kid and I decided that THIS YEAR is MY year and ALLLL those high school years after that!!! Plus appearance changing and stuff so uh yeah.

OKAY SO,

OCTOBER

Manifesting list ♡

Big friend group

I know exactly who I want in it, and who I want to be most friends with, etc. But I probably won't say it here for quite obvious reasons

CLEARRRR skin

Bigger bum (judge me all you want you just don't understand the struggle 💔)

Positive attention anywhere I go

It's more general. Not exactly anywhere I go, as you know, Idk. Yeah you get it. It's more like, being liked by people more often and anywhere I go really, like make friends anywhere I go, get along with everyone, get positive attention, no drama, etc. You know it.

Heal ♡

It's more about changing how I am and become what I want to become, and lose this personality I created in defense that is actually hurting me more. I want to become someone I like, change myself.

Make LOADS more friends, get along with everyone in all my classes

Good grades

Money

A nice home

I know it might seem a little boring and simple and stuff, but I'm working on getting the things that would help me a lot instead of just make my life nicer. I want it in order first. Thank you for listening ♡ do send feedback or whatever or dm me or talk to me about it :))

[ostrichmonkey-games]

Hi! I would like to try my hand at making my own ttrpg, but I have NO idea where to start, tbh.

Do you have any tips? Do you know of anywhere to discuss designing this stuff?

Hey that's super exciting! TTRPG design is a ton of fun and can be super rewarding!

So some general advice, based on what I've learned and also have heard from others.

Start small! Smaller than you think! Diving straight into the deep end with a big ol' fantasy heartbreaker is the road to never getting anything done. So scope out something that you know you can finish. Maybe that's a new class or playbook for a game you already like! Maybe it's an expansion or set of new subsystems! Maybe it's an adventure (though adventure writing can be it's own can of worms, but don't let that stop you hahaha)!

If you want to go bigger, maybe look at hacking a system or engine you like! I'm a huge fan of LUMEN as a fun to pick up and experiment with engine. Also, the LUMEN SRD (system reference document) is a very nice set of "how to do LUMEN games", which is very helpful. There's also other open systems/engines/SRDs like 24XX, Caltrop Core, and Breathless that could be great to look into. Powered by the Apocalypse and Forged in the Dark are both fantastic engines/systems to design in, but are also much harder to really get the hang of (and while Blades in the Dark does provide an SRD, it's a good rules reference, but not a great "how to" reference).

If at the end of all that, you decide on making your own bespoke system, go for it! See what happens! Try and figure out the focus on what you want your system to do (generalist games are always harder to make, imo), and then really dig into that. But I think starting with SRDs/hacks/expansions is going to be a way better start than trying to do everything from scratch.

Make something and don't worry about ever sharing it! This is also just general artistic/creative advice, but the first things you make prooooobably won't be your best and that's okay! I have loads of early design material and scraps that will never see the light of day, but working on them I learned a lot! If you do want to share things, it's fine to just share it with friends, you don't need to worry about publishing or any of that. Just remember to stay focused and work towards finishing something, because then you can start on the next thing. And the next thing after that! TTRPG design is a skill that takes practice. You can try focusing on one design idea in one project, and then work on a different design idea on the next to build up your skill set.

Play, read, and run a lot of different games! It's like with writing, the more you read, the better a writer you can start to become. You learn a lot about ttrpg design by interacting with ttrpgs. If you don't have regular groups to play/run things with, then try and read a lot of different games of all different systems and styles! All that you're absorbing is going to give you fuel for your own designs, and sometimes you learn something really cool from unexpected places (like, I could not have imagined the impact that learning about a lot of OSR design stuff would have on my own design, even though I don't consider myself a strictly OSR designer).

Don't worry about what other people are making! This is just the "two cakes meme", but even if you find out someone is working on something similar, it is always worthwhile to pursue your own vision.

This is getting long, so I'll wrap up that section and move on to the second question.

I think there's a pretty solid community of TTRPG designers here on tumblr these days, so you can try getting discussions going here! I also do a lot in various discord groups. I personally really like Plus One EXP which is very friendly to newcomers and has pretty active design discussions (I also publish some stuff in print through Plus One, full disclosure).

If you're looking for more spaces, asking around there probably wouldn't hurt either.

I'm also always super down to discuss TTRPG design at like, the drop of a hat. So feel free to shout in my inbox anytime!

Best of luck on your journey, and can't wait to see what you do!

[dyemelikeasunset]

Hello sorry to bother but today I went through the mor and dom tag and I can’t help but notice how good you are at designing tattoos! Both for Dylan and Mor, there’s just so much detail there!

I was wondering if you have any tips on your process for designing them? I have a lot of ocs I think would look good with some but just don’t know how to go abt it. Love your art and again sorry for bothering and have a good day!! :]

Oh thank you so much!!

I've had experience designing tattoos for friends and commissioners before, so I think that helps me a lot. But here's some advice off the top of my head:

Research tattoo styles! There are so many types out there, from blackout tats, to classic nautical styles, watercolor, quotes and number tattoos etc. the world of tattoos is HUGE and there are constantly new styles being created by artists. Finding the specific style that fits your character is really helpful

Understand the tattooing process. This is important if you want your ocs' tats to look more realistic. Everything from pain threshold and placement, to how much certain colors or styles need upkeep, to how realistic specific details would be on specific areas of the body-- these can help a lot with choosing design elements as well as learning where to put the tattoos on the character's body. (My biggest advice for this on the drawing/design side: always prioritize the black ink first! Figure out areas where you can have the negative space/underlying skin be part of the design)

Placement, then design! I think of tattoos for OCs in two steps: 1) where and 2) what. I usually figure out placement first, and draw blocks of color on the body parts I want tattooed. Then I'll isolate the shapes and work on each design until I'm satisfied. As you've seen in my characters, I often make a tattoo sheet for them (which I'll copy and paste onto them as needed)

Personality! For characters, it really comes down to what the tattoos say about them. This doesn't necessarily mean all the tats need to be loaded with meaning, bc there are definitely people who get things for fun or for cheap. It's all about reflecting what your character is all about: are they the type to get really meaningful tattoos and only have a couple that are very symbolic for them? Are they the type to wanna be covered head to toe? Maybe to a character like that, each tattoo meaning isn't as important as filling in the space! Maybe it's a character with one really important tattoo but a lot of other random ones. Does one character have to have them in discreet areas for work? Tats that do mean something to your OC will probably say something important about them, while the visual style of the casual tattoos will say a lot about their style or fashion sense

[cupcakes-n-rainbows]

Chronic pain sucks.

I'm fourteen. I'm young to be here, to be in these communities, to even have fully-formed opinions on things. But I've been here. I've had years to idle and stare at the wall, thinking about all the things I wish I could say in a way abled people would understand. Had years to read blog posts, to quietly seek out disabled role models, to call myself disabled inside my head. Because that's okay. It's who I am.

I hate playing the "Sick Olympics". I've never not been in pain, but it really started when I was eleven. I've been through shit. I have friends who have been through more shit. You can drown in a few inches of water as much as you can in a few feet. I have to remember that.

I'm fourteen. I write. I've been writing since I was eleven. First, it was for fun, to make up little stories to dance in my head. Then, it was to pass the time, sitting in waiting rooms and pre-op and spinning on the never-ending hamster wheel of too much, not enough. Now, it's to express myself. To craft the representation I never saw when I so desperately needed it. To, someday, help others feel seen. I've been told I defy the odds. I'm taking a college class and a high school course load when I should be in 8th grade. I write. I think. I stare at the ceiling. The world passes me by.

There are days when all I can do is curl in a ball. I'll never be normal. I never have been. I'll never have the middle school experience, probably won't have the high school one. I missed two years of school, but somehow stayed grades ahead. My mind is the only part of me that's all mine, and sometimes, I can't talk straight. The fog sets in, and it's like every word has to wade through honey to leave my mouth, to be typed onto my screen. I'm breaking at the seams.

It'll only get worse. This rare disease, what it all stems from, it's degenerative. The glue that holds my body together is faulty. I stretch and I bruise and I hurt, and someday, it feels like I'll disintegrate. I don't know what to do. Sometimes, I'm trapped.

I know what I want to do. I know what holds my heart, my interest, my passion. I know I'll never do it. Some things, you aren't selling yourself short. Some things, it'll just hurt to pretend you could until you have to admit it.

I hope it gets better. I really do.

[serpentinegraphite]

...re: your tags on the WFA Jason crowbar incident -- might one be directed to your referenced essay?

Since it's been a min, here's the DC meta post this ask is referencing.

I thought it was on my blog, but I haven't been able to find the essay in the weeks since this ask came in? It might have been a tag rant more than the proper essay I thought I had posted. Or I might have been thinking of a broader and more general essay on the current trauma in fanfic portrayal, which I have definitely posted on this blog somewhere and in several friends' inboxes.

The gist of the essay is that a) fandom as a whole has a tendency to treat panic attacks/flashbacks as the Only and Right Way to experience trauma, even though that's by far not universal and b) will apply this even to characters who have canon trauma and show specific trauma reactions!

With Jason Todd in WFA having a Crowbar Sound Flashback, it's a perfect microcosm of both! The problem, therefore, isn't necessarily WFA being Uniquely Terrible and Inaccurate; WFA just exclusively plays with a lot of softball, fandom-popular tropes, so it remains popular even and especially with people who aren't super familiar with the canon. And because WFA thrives on softball, popular tropes, of course it's going to pick up on the Best Way To Write Trauma.

The essence of the problem is actually the way trauma symptoms in fanfic are homogenized to the most palatable, most sympathetic reaction guaranteed to woobify even the most hardened crime lords and war criminals: a panic attack. But not ANY panic attack! Specifically the hyperventilating on the floor, curled up in a ball kind of panic attacks! (Characters who lash out in anger when they're scared? Characters who shout mean things? Not anymore! Now they're hyperventilating on the floor and they need tender care and possibly a hug.) The momentary full helplessness is integral to creating a miniature h/c journey for the characters (panic –> helplessness –> rescue –> bonding).

Panic attacks actually have a pretty wide range of symptoms! Sometimes they're focused more on derealization reactions or heart racing (loads of people irl end up in the ER thinking they're having a heart attack, when it's actually a panic attack).

This specific portrayal of trauma as panic attacks is, I think, most egregious with characters who would actually fucking die if they had this exact trauma response. E.g., Jason Todd, who infamously both commits crimes and fights them. If he has a panic attack at every scum bag who waves a crow bar at him, he's probably getting beaten to death with a crowbar again. If even one of his regular criminal contacts or enemies catches wind that he has a crowbar panic attack weakness, he's dead! And this could be played for drama in this kind of fanfic, but it never is. (Because drama isn't the point, quick and dirty h/c is.)

Distilling his trauma about dying into panic attacks dismisses his entire history and canon trauma response (rage and vengeance and trying a completely different tactic from Batman to better the city of Gotham when the Red Hood is being a good guy and not just being a crime lord for profit). Here is a solid discussion on how Jason reacts to his own death (I'm new here and this essay is already long lol, I'm not citing whole comics runs or anything myself), with a great addendum from Ragnarok-hound in the tags on the Doylist reasons for why the canon goes over Jason's death again and again anyway.

The problem further stems from everyone learning panic attack symptoms from a combination of personal experience (which for the AO3 crowd in the shippy tags does not as often include people with uh combat or crime experience) and actual mental health web resources, so any panic attack scene reads like it was written by someone between high school and college age checking off a list of psych textbook panic attack symptoms. So it makes sense why they would go with the thing that is easiest to write for them and stick with the approved symptoms they know will garner the most sympathy from the audience and, importantly, other characters in the scene. E.g., to return to bullying WFA's portrayal, having Bruce arrive to tell Jason everything will be okay and fix everything.

(I think ymmv more on Bruce portrayals, depending on Your Preferred Batman, whether that's the corresponding era of comics with Red Hood, the animated series, or some campy/classic live action Batman portrayal, but one thing that is pretty consistent in every Batman media is that he's not fucking great at feelings, so even with a generous reading, WFA simplifies a lot of fraught history between Jason and Bruce here. Further, I could write an entire second essay on how bystanders in fanfic always have the perfect response, to either use the right therapy speak and handle a panic attack perfectly or hug the person to help them calm down or what have you, but this is long enough as it is. To be brief, though: sometimes, especially in a situation like Jason and Bruce's, it's perfectly normal to see someone panicking and then also panic and fuck things up even worse! It's also common to feel frustrated or tired of seeing someone panic over the same thing! Like I know fanfic and WFA are wish fulfillment, but like. There's a lot of nuance and basic trauma understanding missing here.)

And that brings us to another point, which is that PTSD triggers don't necessarily manifest as anxiety disorders and textbook panic attacks. I mean, this feels obvious, but there are a lot of ways to experience PTSD! and that's the thing about Jason Todd! He has trauma, not an anxiety disorder! While panic attacks as the default and most common trauma reaction are very common in fanfic, it's not like even the top most common trauma trigger reaction? And it's weird that it's everywhere like this. Trigger responses have a wiiiiide range, e.g., nightmares, lashing out (the Netflix Jessica Jones show was especially good at this actually! Billy Hargrove on Stranger Things is a fucking perfect example too), dissociation (The Raven Cycle books do a great job with this, and then the fanfic forgets that it happened entirely), or simply activating one's fight or flight instinct (and we've seen with Jason, it's often a fight instinct!). There are probably also loads of Batman comics exemplifying each of these variations, but a) as stated I'm new here, I don't have comprehensive citations for every character (yet) and b) I really want to illustrate how fanfic specifically keeps sticking to one particular portrayal in a way that most canons don't.

Jason Todd can be easily written as having a Specific Traumatic Incident (dying hideously via crowbar) or having complex PTSD (little daily bullshit! you can do an entire deep dive on complex PTSD resulting from poverty, homelessness, and regular repeated exposure to violence as a child e.g. by being Robin, which is not even getting into the stuff you can gather from popular hc/later retcons about his mom's drug use or how his dad's working for Two Face and getting sent to prison might have affected him; another example it's a common hc that he's straight edge because of what drugs may or may not have done to his mom depending on the canon you're working with, but I don't see a lot of people writing him with the corresponding control issues that often pair with that). There are a lot of options is what I'm saying.

WFA choosing to double down on the sound of a crowbar scraping (when also like he's the one using a crowbar for actual mechanic things in this scene, he's probably used to a variety of metal scraping sounds, okay I'm nitpicking here again) over any of the more complex trauma under his belt is very lazy writing. They're distilling his entire history to one specific sound that causes a very targeted panic response, which I know. Is the format. That's how WFA works, it's not supposed to be deep, but this is again, a pattern I keep seeing again and again in fanfiction (to bully another fandom: Stranger Things fans insisting that Steve Harrington is afraid of his own swimming pool when the canon strongly contradicts that; he's swim team captain for 3 years running after this AND that's actually Nancy's trauma reaction, not Steve's).

Again, the problem isn't necessarily specifically with WFA or people who enjoy it or with h/c. But, yeah, the crowbar scraping sounds panic attack is a huge disservice to Jason's character, and it's like a ubiquitous pattern of writing trauma in recent years.

[terresdebrume]

Nobody sent asks about the persocons AU but fuck it, I'm having visions at 11pm and doing anything more than typing away on the phone would be really unreasonable so here we go for a very short pile of Vibes

Ps: I'm using persocons in reference to the manga Chobits, as a shorthand way of saying that the boys in this are robots with a very solid mimicry of sentience going on + are a normal part of society but ALSO as a way to indicate to those in the know that we are fucking with the laws of robotics a little bit

"Thank you," says Vera as Edwin hands her the crate and the spitting mad cat it contains. "You're very kind."

Charles isn't so far gone yet that he doesn't catch the infinitesimal twitch of Edwin's lips. They're pretty nice lips, plopped in the middle of a classically nice face, paired with a neat haircut and what is probably a classically nice body under all the tweed. The PAYNE line was kind of designed for that, after all. Well, Charles doubts any designer ever planned for the tweed, but the broadly appealing features and physique were definitely discussed for at least ten years down in the bowels of Hilarion Inc. headquarters. All in all: not surprising Charles would look. He's only—well.

Out of the shadows where Charles lurks, Vera steps back towards the next service shaft and the upper levels of London. Edwin watches her go with near perfect immobility, but even Charles' factory-work-oriented eyes don't miss the relaxing in his jaw, the miniscule sag of his shoulders. Edwin, Charles is willing to bet, is satisfied with a job well done... Which means there is no reason for him not to smile when Edwin joins him at the back of the alley.

"She's right you know. You're proper kind."

He falls into step with his newly found work partner, smirking when Edwin throws him a sideway glance and looks back ahead.

"Do not be ridiculous. Kindness is a human trait, and I am not human."

"Plenty of us Robots grow emotions, you know."

Mainstream research currently holds that persocons happen over time. Owner misses a software adjustment here, shakes a bot's servers a little too hard there, and eventually that all messes with the auto-learning routines in ways unpredicted and unpredictable and boom: your fuck off tall toaster now has opinions. Charles, who gave himself a name before he was even out of the factory, would beg to differ if he didn't suspect that would get him shipped straight to the richest R&D department for a nice long play session with his programming. Not exactly an appealing prospect.

"So experience seems to indicate," Edwin says, sounding exceedingly prim. "I however, haven't. It would be illogical for you to pretend I did."

"Sure mate. No worries."

Edwin gives a little nod that Charles decides to go ahead and label as satisfied. He'll keep mum about the whole emotions thing, of course. No point in going against Edwin on it. It's just that he also knows it's a load of tosh, really, and he doesn't know it because of the way Edwin's lips twitch sometimes in response to what other people are saying. It's not because he took one look at Charles' crumbling state—the shot up voice modulator, the stringy red hair falling off his head, the long stripe of skin missing from his jaw to his collarbone—and took Charles under his wings. It's not even because Edwin gave himself a name.

It's because, well. Charles was built as a factory model. He has the specs for thousands of android parts running through his data banks at any given time and access to millions more with the internet. Edwin's eye covers—the pale green of his irises, specifically—haven't been on the market for the past sed venty three years, four months, one week and two days. A normal android his age would have been replaced a long time ago. Crucially: it wouldn't have given a shit.

That's kind of the thing with androids that work like they're supposed to: they mimick emotions real well—as much as the humans want them to, that is—but when the moment comes to have them recycled they treat it like any other day. 'Oh, you want to erase me from existence forever? Okay.' And then they go. But then once in a while, someone like Charles comes along: a defect, a bug in the machine. An everlasting problem to robotics engineer everywhere, whose position on the whole being recycled is a resounding:

"Fuck that."

That's how Charles knows Edwin isn't actually emotionless. Because no matter how many personality protocols he's actually got running—or shut down, really, he sounds like enough of a beautiful freak to actively have played with his own brains—when the time came to be recycled, it is abundantly clear that Edwin's answer in spite of any Robotics Law overrides was also no thank you.

And if Charles is lucky, one of these days, Edwin might even admit it.

[rawbin-hsr]

The previous anon articulated it so well bc I just saw what they're talking about and I'm honestly confused why they thought u were saying anything wrong like 😭😭 are we sure we have the same guy here? Aventurine while yes knows what being loved feels like, he's gone through enough things and changes in life that that little frame of reference won't serve him well, especially within a romantic context bc he doesn't have ANY reference.

I read what you wrote as him not really meaning to (even reread) and yeah, he wouldn't Purposely want to be abusive to his romantic partner, but it still borders on it. What a lot of ppl get wrong is that, emotional abuse doesn't have to always mean the perpetrator is fully aware of it themself.

Maybe bc I myself have bpd, but it's so easy to see. When someone's avoiding negative feelings they have about themself (jealousy, insecurity etc) they can easily externalize this blame (and for him, that's so much more likely, it's literally a defense mechanism) or even, projecting his own view of himself on how you view him only to end up upset. (And then, the random clinginess that comes after this pushing away, why would it happen if not for trying to convince you to stay even though what he keeps doing is generally not a good thing to do in a relationship?) He wouldn't have known healthy attachment, didn't grow up with a safety net to be comfortable with that, hell, he thinks people closest to him (in canon) are sort of "tolerating" him. Are we really surprised?

Like, you never said aventurine is doing it with intent or even awareness bc yea he isn't!! He'd realize some of his actions sure, but stuff like "pushing you away" is probably shit he genuinely considers good for you, and it's not even like completely wrong he's in a high and risky position. Doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt like a mf, and I think that's the biggest tragedy of it all, because he doesn't fully realize how bad his actions are from another pov, and it's not like a single Convo can get him to understand that.

Anyway, sorry that was a lot more incoherent than I thought and I was firmly stating a lot of things bc I can pull up stuff to back my claim but ALSO bc they pissed me off if u don't like something just scroll I've been doing that for years on this app I never felt the need to go yell at someone bc I don't agree with how they interpret a character 😒😒😒😒 I hope ur feeling better, rsd sucks ass I always get so overwhelmed whenever I experience it but ur intent came across very clearly actually dw

I’m literally in tears I’m so grateful multiple people are taking the time to reassure me thank you so much 🥹🥹🥹 I was really doubting myself and my own take on him, it makes me feel so relieved I’m not the only one who has this specific take on him haha I was lowkey worrying I was a terrible person for a moment there 😭

And yes, exactly !!!! I think you were very coherent in this, in fact I think you formulated what I meant to say better than I did 😭😭 Like there’s a lot, a LOT of nuance to it !!! He never does it out of malice. He just doesn’t know any better. He tries to do what’s right and what’s best for you, he’s just… kind of not good at that because his whole perspective is skewed.

I do still think they were right that I shouldn’t have used the word ‘abuse’. It’s a very loaded term, and I think abuse requires a power dynamic, which is something I think he would try to eliminate in a relationship. Like, yes, he is a powerful man and he sort of needs some leverage to stay in control (of both his own life and his relationship with you), but I think he fucking hates the idea of being “above you” in any way. (Though to be fair he still could unintentionally create an uneven power dynamic — he’s the one mostly in charge of when the two of you interact. I think he loathes himself even more when he realises that.) I think it would be best to stick to the word “toxic” because it feels most fitting from my pov

[timoswerner]

Something I’ve been wondering about since the days you were the only person slating Hojbjerg every match. You’re a STH and match going fan where the majority of people on here aren’t- how do you think that changes things? Have you got a different perspective, different priorities?

firstly, i love that my legacy is being the original hojbjerg hater. secondly this is going to be quite long and rambley...

i think sometimes it's a simple as it comes down to different angles. when you're watching the game from home you can't see the whole pitch for the whole time, but actually at the game, and particularly if you're high up, you can see the whole pitch the whole game. so i could see when he wasn't doing his defensive duties, when he switched off, when he was just standing there flapping his arms about, but you couldn't see it on the tv because the camera would be elsewhere. also when you're at games you don't hear the commentary or the pundits so i'm not going to be swayed by their narratives or anything like that. like i'm just seeing the game as it is right in front of me. but yeah quite often i go on twitter or here and people have a completely opposite opinion on a players performance to what i've seen.

also kind of ties in with something i've said before about twitter tacticos or people with podcasts... they're not always watching football for what it is, a football game? i don't know how to explain it but when you're at the game you're not over thinking the tactics or positions of the players. you're in the moment! like after the north london derby last season, i went on twitter and certain set of people were fuming and saying it was embarrassing and the players let us down - but that wasn't what i saw or pretty much anyone else in the stadium. we all saw a team that gave their all and the atmosphere in the stadium was good! loads of people hanging around after, having a laugh. no one was depressed as they were on twitter. i feel like sometimes those types are sucking the fun and the general essence out of football. or sometimes on twitter you see fans who only want big signings and 'fancy' names in their team over bringing through youth and academy kids but for me watching local lads come through is one of the best parts of football to me!

something else though is sometimes things like rivalries gets missed by people who are 'online' supporters- i remember someone on here did a survey that was like 'as a spurs fan what other team do you hate the most' and a fair few people said liverpool.... blew my mind! what do you mean it's not arsenal or chelsea?! no one who's been brought up around spurs, or goes to games is going to say liverpool but i guess if you've not been brought up with those rivalries then you wouldn't 'get it' in the same way and that's fine, i'm just never going to understand that personally and a lot of other people won't understand it either! same with some of the discourse around spurs fans wanting to lose to city last year - i was flabbergasted that anyone would be okay with us winning and handing the title to arsenal. it's fucking arsenal! i don't have any particularly bad feelings towards city either, but again it's probably just where people have come in to football at different times. people coming in to football now probably feel about city how i do about growing up with united dominating. speaking of- seeing liverpool fans say they feel bad for man united on twitter - sorry what?! can't have been around when united were winning everything hahahaha. but as i'm typing think i think that's more about being brought up around football and getting in to it at different points in time. and that's fine! footballs too big now to just be fans that were born in to a family that have always supported one team!

i do also think football is consumed on here a bit differently to how i was brought up or how i experience it in real life. it's quite fandomised on here? when i first came across football blogs on here i was like what the fuck is going on hahahahaha. and that's fine! it's just not how football is for the general population. and occasionally i have felt like... some people have missed the football part of it all. like to me people get caught up in the fandom side a bit much - i think we've all encountered the mason mount girlies who don't seem to actually understand football, or at one point the deledier girls were doing my head in because i felt like they weren't actually seeing what was going on the pitch? but at the same time and for the most part i think on here is quite fun and in general less serious than other parts of the football world and i like that! it's nice to come on here and have fun with everyone in a way i can't when talking about football with my parents or people i know irl. definitely prefer here to football twitter.

but yeah i think some of it is just different. i think going to games can give you a different view on players, or the team, or rivalries and stuff. i do feel like some people who don't go to games miss things that make football so great for me. but at the end of the day it's just different opinions innit :)