#i'm just gonna finally post this here now and get that goddamn over with

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles December challenge.

Go With This

Prompt Day 30: New Year's Eve | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: M | CW: Underage Drinking, Weed, Off-Screen Sex While Under the Influence | Tags: Post S4, Eddie Munson Lives, New Year's Eve Party, All the Teens, Kissing at Midnight, Getting Together, Morning After, Eddie POV

"Gareth, no!" Eddie screams, as he steps through the doorway, but it's too late. The bottle of champagne pops open, exploding all over Steve's kitchen.

"Oh, fuck!" Gareth says, trying to control the spray, but it's useless. He's making it worse instead of better. Gareth didn't shake it up on purpose, but Eddie watched him poking at the cork with his pocket knife and knew something bad was gonna happen.

Gareth is flailing around, shouting, "I'm sorry!"

Steve's already waving him off, grabbing a towel off the counter, then some paper towels, and finally the mop for good measure. It's going to be a goddamn sticky mess when it dries, that's for damn sure. 

"It's okay," Steve says, but Eddie can see that his jaw is tense, clenched. 

They didn't even ask if they could have New Year's Eve here at his house, they all just decided that's what they were doing, and made Steve go with it.

Eddie gets down and tries to help wipe it up, but he's pretty faded. Argyle brought the good shit, and Eddie's been going out back with him and Jonathan all night long.

But, Steve smiles at him, so maybe Eddie isn't on Steve's shit-list.

The ball drops, and it's 1987. He made it through 1986, thank fucking Christ. Eddie watches everyone take turns kissing each other. Weird. He thinks he could have lived without seeing Nancy kiss Jonathan, and then Steve, back-to-back. But then she kisses Argyle, and Argyle kisses Jonathan as Nancy kisses Robin. 

Is this an orgy? 

Was Eddie invited to an orgy and didn't know it? 

Or, do preppy kids have a version of key parties? Eddie looks for a fishbowl.

Gareth gawks at him, like, what the fuck and Eddie stares. He doesn't know either. Clearly not wanting to be left out, Gareth kisses Goodie, much to Goodie's chagrin. Jeff just laughs, and then kisses Eddie, and it's weird, but okay, he guesses.

Then, Nancy presses her lips to his.

He's kissed Nancy Wheeler now. In what world?

But, okay. That's okay, too, he supposes. 

It wasn't sexual. He's sure of that, and if he had any concerns, they'd have evaporated a second later, once he sees Robin kiss Steve. It's the weirdest thing he's seen yet, even if it's only a hard pucker of a kiss that nobody would ever mistake for being romantic. It looked more like a hostage situation, and Robin immediately wiped the back of her hand across her mouth, hard.

"Rude," Steve says, and Robin laughs.

Then, Steve looks at him, and Eddie falters.

Steve's gonna kiss him.

Eddie watches Steve lean in, and Eddie doesn't know if he needs to go with this, or flee the country. It's too late to choose, because Steve presses his lips to Eddie's, and Eddie's hand isn't connected to his brain anymore, because he lifts it, cupping Steve's neck. 

Steve startles, but only for a second, then opens his mouth over Eddie's, and now they're kissing kissing. Not just the friendly peck Steve offered everyone else. 

Shit. Fuck. Damn.

Eddie tries to extract himself from this, but Steve's fingers are digging into his back, and Eddie can feel everyone's eyes on them. They're never gonna live this down. 

Steve finally lets him go, and Eddie makes a move to step away, but Steve grabs his hand.

"Happy New Year," Steve says to the room, and heads for the staircase, dragging Eddie along behind him. 

Oh shit. 

But Eddie follows, willingly. Letting Steve pull him to his bedroom. Letting Steve yank his shirt over his head, letting Steve press kisses to his chest, his scars. Hands roaming, both of them pulling off clothes, grabbing at each other. 

This is really happening.

Eddie tries to toe off his Reeboks, but realizes he's wearing his boots, and almost falls over. Steve doesn't let him, and just squats down, and starts unlacing them. Pulling the long laces loose, in swift movements.

It's hot. It's so hot.

And Steve is eye level with his dick, and this is what dreams are made of, for sure.

Happy Fucking New Year.

In the morning, Eddie clomps across the kitchen floor in his unlaced boots, and the soles stick with every step. He gets a vaguely clean-looking glass from the countertop, and fills it with water. 

And drinks, and drinks, and drinks.

He looks out over the living room, and can see Gareth on the couch, with one eye barely open. Clearly hungover. Maybe Eddie fucked up letting Gareth join them. Gareth's not that old, not yet. He's still in that weird middle-ground. Eddie was drinking and smoking at his age. Steve, too. But maybe they shouldn't encourage it. Maybe Gareth should have been sent to Dustin's kiddie party, instead. But Gareth would've fought that.

Gareth whistles low, a mocking catcall.

Eddie looks down. He's wearing his boxers, and his boots. And that's it. Fuck. Yeah, he's hungover, too.

Eddie doesn't give Gareth the satisfaction, so he twirls, showing off. Acting like he meant to look exactly like this.

Then, Steve stumbles into the kitchen, taking the glass from Eddie's hand, gulping down the rest of the water, and he's in his briefs, and that's it. With a big-ass hickey on his neck, that Eddie is certain he's responsible for, even if he doesn't quite remember doing it. 

"Steve's hairy," Gareth mumbles, and Eddie laughs, even if it kills his head. 

They are all so hungover, it's ridiculous. Maybe he shouldn't have mixed champagne, beer and liquor with Argyle's weed.

But then Steve leans down, and puts his chin on Eddie's shoulder, wrapping his arms around Eddie's waist, hugging him from behind. No, Eddie thinks this is the best thing he's ever done, maybe. 

Eddie leans back into him, and Steve kisses him on the bare shoulder.

"Happy New Year," Eddie says, quietly.

Steve chuckles, hugging him tighter, "Well, it sure has been so far."

Yeah, 1987 is definitely going to be Eddie's year.

Notes: Thank you so much to everyone who read, liked, commented on and reblogged all my entries for this month-long challenge. I really enjoyed participating in this event so damn much. Thank you for reading! ❤️

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun!

If you want to see the rest of my entries into this month-long challenge, you can check them out in my Steddie Holiday Drabbles tag, right here!

[lanadelnegan]

Can you do a pt 2 to your Negan and reader fuck buddies story where some guy gives a his jacket to reader because she gets cold and Negan is working outside and he can see them and when she goes over to him later he's like "who's jacket is that" and she's just like "idk some guys" and he's like "you don't remember his name?" And she's like "No, not really" and then he just whispers good and starts kissing her and then it hits reader that he's super jealous and she starts smiling and shit and they end up having rough sex (matting press pls 😈)

Anon request #2: I love your writing so much and i LOVED your latest post for Negan omg can you do a pt. 2 or something where Negan sneaks off with reader during the day and eats her out since she sucked him off before 🙏 again you're writing is absolutely amazing keep up the amazing work ♥️

___________________________________________

Gonna combine these two since they're similar! Thanks for the requests, ilyyyy 😘

Lip Gloss (Pt. 2)

S10/11 Negan x Reader

Part one here

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, p in v, oral (f receiving), semi-public sex, heavy breeding kink, mentions of future pregnancy, mention of death (negan threatening other men)

It's been a few days since I've visited Negan in his cell, so when I spot him across the yard doing some gardening, I can hardly pry my eyes off of him. They just started letting him help out around here, and I'm happy for him.

I try not to stare, not wanting others, or him, to catch me in the act. I just got back from dropping some supplies off at Hilltop, and I continue walking, eager to finally to get back to my own house. I shiver and grip the unfamiliar jacket closer to me as I walk past him, hoping he doesn't notice me. I can't risk someone seeing us.

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh?"

I walk slower but don't turn around.

"You've gotta be kidding, y/n. Not even a hi?"

I turn this time, walking over to him while glancing around. Luckily everyone is either in their homes or far enough away where they won't notice.

"Negan, it's not personal. You know that. But we can't be seen being all sweet on each other."

He grins down at me cockily.

"Then don't. Slap me. Yell at me. Do what you have to fucking do, but don't ignore me."

When I don't respond, his face turns serious and his brows come together. "Whose fucking jacket is that?"

I look down, blushing a little. "I dunno." My hands slide in the pockets. "Some guy's."

"Oh, some guy? You don't remember his name?" He whispers down at me.

"No. I was just cold, Negan. I didn't even ask him his name." I look at him confused.

The side of his mouth raises into a smirk. "Good."

"Aw, is someone.. jealous?" I raise my eyebrows at him.

Without warning, he grabs my wrist out of the jacket pocket and pulls my body against his before pressing his lips into mine.

After a couple seconds, I jerk away quickly and look around. "Negan! What the fuck!" I whisper yell at him.

"No one's lookin', doll." His hand presses into my lower back, pulling me into him again. His other hand tilts my chin up to kiss me again.

"Someone could be looking from their window." I say in between our kisses.

"Then let's give them a goddamn show." He deepens our kiss, slipping his tongue in my mouth as I moan into him.

"Negan." I breathe out.

"Come see me tonight, baby. It's my turn to make you feel good."

"No. I need you.. now."

His smirk widens into pure arrogance as he looks down at me. "Hell baby, I am not gonna say no to that." He looks around to make sure we're still alone. "Come on."

He leads me to the side of one of the houses until we're out of sight before crashing his lips into me hard, pressing my back into the exterior wall.

His bulge presses into me firmly and I reach for him but he grabs my hands.

"Not so fast, baby. I am fucking starving." He whispers as he unbuttons my pants, quickly sliding them and my underwear down and off my legs. My eyes widen as I look around, hoping no one walks by.

"Negan.. maybe we shou-"

Before I can finish, he's on his knees in front of me, throwing my leg over his shoulder, and burying his face into my pussy.

My mouth gapes open as I stare down at him. He licks from my hole to my clit before stopping and sucking it lightly.

"Oh my god." I breathe out. "Negannn." My fingers lazily grip his salt and pepper hair as I moan out.

He pulls back for a moment to look up at me.

"God, baby. You gotta fucking come see me more. This pussy is my new favorite meal." He dives back in like a starving man, devouring me from the inside out.

"Negan.. Negan, I'm getting close." I whimper out, leaning my head against the wall and pushing his head closer to my center. His tongue laps at my dripping hole while his nose nudges my clit.

"Can you squirt, baby? Want you to spray those delicious juices all over my face."

I shake my head. "I’ve never, uh - I don't think so."

He chuckles before pressing his face back into my cunt.

"I do." His lips move against me as he slides his middle finger teasingly through my folds and slipping it deep inside my pussy. He curves it in a "come here" motion while sucking my clit simultaneously and my orgasm hits me like a tidal wave, almost knocking me from my feet.

Negan steadies me with his other hand under my thigh so I don't collapse.

"Fuuuck! Negan!" I suddenly feel a pool of warm liquid between my legs and he groans loudly, licking up every drop. "That's a good fucking girl!" His deep voice vibrates my center.

He pulls back once he's licked up every drop. I blush at the sight of my wetness glistening on his lips and beard.

"I knew you could do it, baby. So fucking proud of you."

He stands up and I slowly trace my lips over his, rubbing my own wetness from his mouth over mine.

The faint sounds of voices appear in the distance and I quickly throw my pants back but not before realizing my panties are gone. I look at his jeans to see them sticking out of his pocket.

He shrugs innocently when I look at him and I roll my eyes. Such a Negan move.

"You just gonna leave my blue balls hangin', sweetness?"

I grab his hand, leading him to the back of the house, which happens to be mine. "You have such a way with words."

"So I've been told." He grins as we enter the backdoor and I waste no time kissing him and leading us to the couch.

"Y/n, listen. We need to talk first." He interrupts.

"What's there to talk about? I need you in me." I continue kissing him while taking my pants off clumsily.

I quickly discard the jacket, then my shirt and bra, leaving me completely exposed to him.

"You are such a fucking smoke show, doll. Holy hell. Don't know what you're thinkin' givin' an old man like me the time of day."

I shrug. "Not a lot of options around here."

He chuckles before slowly walking towards me. "No? Maybe you should go live with your boyfriend at Hilltop, then."

"Maybe I will.." I whisper up at him before he picks me up suddenly, throwing me over his shoulder.

I yelp as I'm turned upside down. "Negan!"

He walks us towards the first door he sees, my bedroom, and kicks it open forcefully while smacking his hand on my bare ass and throwing me on the bed.

"Negan! You just broke my door!"

"Not the only thing I'm about to break, sweetheart.”

I lean up on my elbows and watch him undress. My mouth waters when his cock finally springs free.

I bend my legs, raising my knees and spreading my legs apart in front of him while my hand drifts to my aching center.

Negan watches me lustfully while he pulls his t-shirt off.

"Y/n. Remember when I said we needed to talk?"

I nod my head and slowly circle my finger around my clit. "Yes." I moan out quietly, keeping eye contact with him.

His eyes drift towards my pussy, watching me touch myself for a moment before meeting my gaze again.

"I care about you." He admits.

My finger drops lower to my hole before teasing it. "I care about you too, Negan."

He climbs on the bed on top of me, grabbing each of my wrists and bringing them above my head.

"I'm serious, y/n. I'm tired of sneaking around." His eyes search mine.

"So what does this mean? For us?”

"I don't want to hide what we have anymore."

"Negan - if they find out.."

"Then what? They cut off our heads as punishment?" He says sarcastically. "They'll get over it... Do you want this? To be together?"

"Yes." I breathe out.

That's all he needs to hear before crashing his lips into mine and kissing me passionately. My hands rub over his smooth back as our tongues explore each other's mouths.

“Told you you’d my girl eventually, baby.”

I'm so caught up in kissing him that I barely notice him positioning himself at my opening, until he rams into me in one swift motion.

I moan out as he stretches me open and thrusts into me fast and deep.

“I know how we can show them who you belong to.” He whispers lowly.

“H-how?”

“I could pump you full of my cum every fucking day until my baby grows inside of you.”

My eyes widen. “Negan…”

He smirks. “It’s okay, baby. We don’t have to rush it. You’ll want my baby.. eventually.”

“No.” I quickly blurt. “I want it. I want you to put a baby in me.”

“Yeah?” He smirks down at me as he fucks me faster.

He leans back on his knees for a moment before wrapping his arms around my thighs and bringing them up, spreading them as far as they’ll go before leaning back over me and fucking me harder than before.

He’s so much deeper from this angle and I moan out loudly as his heavy balls slap against me.

“Negan! I’m cumming!” I cry out and he growls, pounding me faster and deeper.

“That’s right, baby. Let go. Soak my fucking cock.”

And I do just that.

His hand reaches down between us to swipe up some of my juices with his finger before sucking them into his mouth. “Cant get enough of this sweet fucking cunt. Could drink you like water, baby.”

I kiss him, tasting myself on him and we moan together. “I could cum just from the taste of you.” He whispers in my mouth.

“So cum.” I whimper and his head falls lazily to the side of mine as he buries his face in my neck.

He groans in my ear as he stops thrusting, pushing himself deeper than I thought possible. My legs wrap around his waist and dig into him as I moan from the feeling of his cock pulsing and seed filling me to the brim.

His lips find mine again as he starts pumping himself in me slowly, deliberately pushing his load deeper and deeper.

“Cant wait to see this belly swollen with my fucking kid, baby. He says before finally pulling out.

I smile lovingly at him as he gets dressed. “Negan, it’s starting to get dark. They’ll wonder where you are soon.”

My heart hurts at the thought of him leaving and sleeping in that stupid fucking cell any longer. But now isn’t the right time. We need a plan.

“I know.” He drops his head while climbing off me and the bed and dressing himself.

“Fucking sucks. I wanna stay with you.”

“You will soon. We’ll find a time to tell everyone, but not tonight.”

Negan just nods understandingly. “I’ve waited this long. A few more lonely nights won’t hurt. At least I have these to keep me company.” He shoves my panties deeper in his pocket while raising his eyebrows at me.

“I’ll come see you tomorrow, okay? Come on, I’ll walk you out.” I lace my fingers between his as we walk the short distance to the living room and back door.

He picks up the strange man’s jacket from the floor on his way out, flinging it over his shoulder irritably.

“Don’t worry, doll. I’ll dispose of this for you.” He reaches for the door before turning around and placing a gentle kiss to my lips.

“Oh, and if another man offers you another goddamn article of clothing, I’ll hang him with it.”

The end. Xx

[anxi-aashi]

ok i dont have the energy to put this into a fic rn but i CANT stop thinking about college au! childe almost walking in on you while you're getting yourself off.

like he'd still knock of course, but it would scare the absolute shit out of you. instead of hanging out with your roommates that he's friends with (who are most certainly NOT gathered in your room) he'd be all "hey pookie can i come bother you I'm bored," while you're fully sat on a dildo.

and bc you wouldnt want to seem suspicious, you'd say sure, just a sec! and immediately run to throw the sopping wet toy into your bathroom sink before letting him in.

and he's just too observant for his own good. "hey you ok? you seem out of breath" yeah because you were.... working out! "really? you're not sweating though?" CHILDE DROP IT OMFG but he wouldn't. he just asks so many goddamn questions and you honestly can't tell if he's just fuckign with you or if he's just genuinely concerned for you. what were you doing? pilates? so thats why you're walking a bit weird? how tf were you not sweating after pilates? oh you just started? well sorry to interrupt!

yeah.... you're sorry too -_-

but hes here now so you offer to watch a movie and hang out, nevermind the cum threatening to run down your leg. "sure! you pick smth out and ill go to the bathroom real quick!" he says and curse your post-orgasm clouded mind for not being quick enough to warn him bc now he's standing in front of you, dildo in his hand, looking at you knowingly.

youre mortified obviously. the two of you are cordial but not THAT close and god you can almost picture the slick and cum that's smearing all over his hand now. why is he holding it for fucks sake???

childe wouldnt be merciful either -- this is a fucking gold mine for him. "well, i guess this is a workout" and you would like the earth to swallow you up so that you don't have to look at him with that shit-eating grin that's creeping up his face.

hed switch the dildo to his other hand and start opening and closing his fingers together, making webs of cum string in between. "you said you just started?" no, you'd have to refute, that part was a lie.

"and you were getting off with this?" and now WHAT was that supposed to mean bc there was truly nothing wrong with the dildo size!!! it was perfectly fine, it did its job. sure it could be a tad bit longer, but you had bills to pay. he lets it go (with a judgemental eyebrow raise), but when he opens his mouth again to ask "what were you doing?" you almost wish he had kept making fun of your tiny ass toy. "were you using your hands or the suction cup?"

god he'd have a dangerous look on his face by now, lidded eyes looking at you like you were gonna be his next meal; pitching his voice just a tad bit lower just to see you squirm.

"you don't have to answer, but i would really, really like to know." aaaaaand there it goes. there's goes the last bit of your sanity bc huhh?? huuuuhh??? dear lord i would fully melt into a puddle we love a man that can make consent sexy.

fuck it, right? yeah, you were using the suction cup. "yeah? you like riding dick?" SHFBAN;DNSJF;F GODDDD

"you got any other toys?" yes sirrr yes I do, got a vibrator right over there in the nightstand. and duh now he's gotta follow up with "ever use both?"

which you have. who hasn't? but you usually only use it for quickies, you say. don't want it to be over too fast, ya know?

but then. thennnnnn he'd hit you with this: "you still horny?"

lorddddd you have NO idea, but you don't say that lest it get to his head (but lets be honest, he knows what he's doing; he knows how desperate he's making you). so he walks up to you, finally, and hands you your dildo, all sticky and starting to dry by now.

"well don't stop on my account."

and he plops down on your bed, manspreading just the tiiiiiniest bit to where you can see the tent in his pants.

which is how you find yourself back in your desk chair, thighs burning from fucking yourself on a dildo you now know is much smaller than whatever childe is packing while he just watches, palming his cock over his pants.

anyways gonna go work on my wips now lolololololololoolo

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

literally nobody touch me. i am in a puddle of my own TEARS right now over that card.

i'm gonna yell guys i'm gonna SAY SOMETHING bc they gave him SO MUCH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IN THIS and so many INSIGHTS and i'm about to go INSANE,

DO YOU REALIZE. DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH THIS LINE MEANS TO HIM?

THIS AFTER THE LUMIERE SHENANIGANS IN HIS LAST EVENT? AND FOR ALL I'VE SAID IN THIS POST?

like i don't know where this card falls plot-wise or in the timeline of their relationship but SHIT LIKE? this means he's aware of everything i said in that post ?!!!!!!!

"by now, he's had so many identities. he's fragmented, maybe; unsure of himself, a little lacking in the confidence of which part of him mc will truly love, especially after all this time. and maybe he's aware of that or maybe he's not, but— even the most conflicting parts of us are still us. and the more we attempt to be who or what we are not, the more we remain the same. the only way he'll move forward from all of this is to accept the fact that even "prince xavier", even "lumiere", are part of him—maybe parts of him he doesn't want, but that still contribute to him as a whole. and it's something xavier needs to realize for himself."

and WITH THAT LINE??? "EVERY VERSION OF ME BELONGS TO YOU, AND ONLY YOU"

IT'S LIKE????? HE GETS IT?

he realizes that mc knows he has so many fragments to him, and that he's been trying to keep it separate, and she's going to keep asking "which xavier, then?" and he's like. fuck that. it's all of me.

"i would love you in every universe", while simultaneously "i would love you no matter who or what i become", while simultaneously;

LIKE DO YOU—?

DO YOU SEE HOW THE INTENSITY OF HIS FEELINGS COMES FORWARD WITH MORE CONFIDENCE? A CONFIDENCE THAT'S GENUINE AND NOT NONCHALANT, NOT LIKE HE'S TRYING TO "PLAY IT OFF" ANYMORE?

iT'S LIKE. NO MORE GAMES, THIS IS REAL. KIND OF VIBES?

ITS LIKE WATCHING HIM MATURE A LITTLE AND GROW A LITTLE AND :(

he's learning to accept all of those parts of him as HIM, and he's willing to allow mc to love ALL OF IT because he can let all of it love HER, and itS THE GODDAMN GESTALT THEORY COMING FULL CIRCLE BECAUSE HE'S FINALLY, FINALLY ALLOWING HIMSELF TO BECOME WHOLE AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

if it's safe to assume they've had kisses and such beforehand, especially considering previous cards, then this—this is the "first" because it's more real and genuine than it ever has been. he's been waiting this long for this moment, not just in line with how long he's waited to be hers again considering his whole story, but—

because they finally have both their feelings out in the open.

the communication they have here, for once??? like you just KNOW it's not like the others????

because now he's finally able to give and receive wholly, as himself, as the xavier he recognizes to be a culmination of every persona he's taken in the past.

AND JUST 😭😭😭

FUCK LIKE 😭😭😭 MY HEART 😭😭😭😭

MY HEART ISN'T OKAY UGH I'M SO EMOTIONAL I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!!! 😭😭😭

[whatitshouldvebeen]

Hi it’s me! I would like to order 1 obsessive/yandere Johnny with a side of however you want to do it and my compliments and a big kiss and hug to the chef for making amazing works. I’ve been reading your works a lot and look forward to your posts🥰🩵

Thank you so much sweetheart! I hope this scratches your itch 😈

Your Shadow

Contains; yandre Johnny, possessive behavior

~~

Your coworkers nicknamed Johnny your shadow. You didn't mind having a handsome, brooding man observing you from the other side of the bar as you cleaned out glasses and prepared drinks. He wasn't exactly discreet about it either; he wouldn't order drinks from anyone but you.

He had been a regular presence for weeks, and there was a betting pool for when he'd finally ask you out. You made the mistake of telling one of your coworkers you found him handsome, and now, whenever they saw him, they teased you relentlessly.

One night, as you exchanged glances with Johnny across the bar while cleaning up, an already drunk patron stumbled in and slapped the countertop. You regarded the man with a raised eyebrow.

“Well? Ain't you gonna ask what I want?” he demanded.

“Last call was five minutes ago, and you’re already drunk.”

“Cut yer tone and get me a goddamn drink,” he growled.

“No. Like I said, last call has already happened.”

The belligerent man leaned over the counter, grabbing your shirt. “Make me a goddamn drink, bitch.”

You reached for the gun under the counter, but you didn't need to because a look of terror crossed the man's face, and he dropped your collar instantly.

“Back away, nice n’ slow,” Johnny's low voice was barely audible as he stood close behind the drunk man. The man raised his hands and backed up, sweat beading on his alcohol-flushed face. 

“Was this man giving you trouble, sugar?” Johnny asked, his dark eyes meeting yours. 

“She wasn't doing her job ‘s all! I just wanted a-” The man protested, but froze when Johnny pressed closer. 

“Say another word, and I'll gut you from behind,” Johnny growled. “I asked the lady a question.”

You blinked rapidly, adjusting your shirt and nodding slightly. “Y-yeah, a little bit. It's alright though, Johnny. Don't get yourself in trouble.” 

“This ain't trouble. I'd do a lot worse to him if we weren't being watched.” Johnny digs the knife into the man's back, making him whimper. “You hear me? If I see you ‘round here and no one's lookin’, ain’t nobody's ever gonna see you again.” 

The man's red face drained, leaving a dread filled expression behind. 

“Got it?” Johnny asked, twisting his hold on the man's arm. 

“I got it!” The man hiccuped pathetically, tears rolling down his plump face.

“Get out of here,” Johnny said, shoving the man toward the door. The man tripped over his own feet and fell to the floor. You saw his pants soaked with urine, and your nose crinkled in disgust. The man sobbed and stumbled as he got up and pathetically dragged himself out of the bar. 

Your eyes left the sorry sight and trailed to Johnny, who was still watching you intently behind messy strands of greased black hair. “You okay, baby?”

You blushed. “Yeah. I'm okay.” 

“Can't stand to see anyone touch you,” he muttered. 

“I'm alright now. Thank you, Johnny.”

“Anytime,” he said, still watching you intently. “I'll never let anyone disrespect my girl like that again.”

You weren't sure how to feel about being called his girl when you'd barely spoken a word to him, but you were thankful all the same. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

“I always will.” His hand reached out, caressing your face. “I promise you that.” 

[piratefalls]

“You are", he says, "the absolute worst idea I've ever had.” - me @ ao3 after watching the movie and thinking "there's probably fic for this."

i like lists. i've lost sleep reading fic like it's gonna disappear the second i look away. i'm making my problem yours. i'm sure a lot of these won't be new to people since they pre-date the movie and it's far from comprehensive but. i'm late to this party. i also can't make gifs, so enjoy the basic canva header.

(baby) don't make me spell it out by extasiswings

One night near the end of first semester 1L finals, just a few weeks before the two-year anniversary of their first kiss, Alex finds himself looking up from his desk with its messy piles of color-coded notes and tabbed textbooks to see Henry asleep on the couch, clearly having dozed off waiting for him to come to bed, and unbidden he thinks, God, I’m going to marry this man. It startles him, the spike of adrenaline that floods through him waking him up and bringing the parts of his brain turning over concepts like proximate cause and strict liability to a standstill as he stares at Henry. I want to marry this man.

God Save the Blessed American President Mom by zipadeea

["June stopped by at lunch; she showed me a delightful channel called Hallmark, which repeats the same story every hour after they swap one round of white, straight, small-town conventionally beautiful actors for another. It was entertaining.” “June and I used to play a drinking game with those. Take a shot every time someone goes ice skating, sledding, or leaves the big city for their tiny hometown.” “Good lord, you must’ve been sloshed in the first ten minutes.”] -- On December 4, 2021, an attempt is made on President Ellen Claremont's life. Alex gets shot instead.

Familiar Gravity by cmere

“Yeah,” Alex breathes, and he pulls back to look Henry in the eyes. “I’ve been fantasizing about you fucking me in this chair for, like, weeks. Every time you sit down here with your stupid book.”   Henry likes it when Alex speaks Spanish and Alex has a request.

Am I the Asshole? by everwitch

AITA for spending Valentine’s Day with my roommate instead of my boyfriend? It’s well past midnight on a Saturday and hardly the first time Alex has scrolled aimlessly on his phone instead of trying to sleep, but it’s definitely the first goddamn time Alex has discovered his roommate has made a lengthy post about last night’s curry debacle to r/AmItheAsshole — a post that’s apparently gone fucking viral. -- In which Alex and Henry are college roommates, and a few thousand strangers think they should fuck.

Everybody needs good neighbours by railmedaddy

To nora(9.37pm): So a funny thing happened My hot neighbour brought me the mcflurry i ordered and we fucked From nora (9.38pm): WHAT DETAILS NOW Which neighbour? Wait, you only have one hot neighbour. Alex, did you fuck a guy?!?!?! ALEX Or Alex meets a hot new neighbour. Shenanigans ensue.

A Picture on Your Corkboard by bleedingballroomfloor

It happens on a random morning in May when Alex, age fourteen, pads into the kitchen to greet his mother and steal a waffle from June's plate and sees a man sitting at their breakfast counter, reading a newspaper, a cup of coffee raised to his lips. Like he belongs. Like it's the most natural thing in the world. June doesn't seem to give the man a second thought. She merely flicks Alex on the forehead and takes back the waffle. Ellen isn't worrying, either. In fact, she's talking to him. Asking what his schedule is like. Making plans for dinner. Alex has never seen this man before in his life.

this is the worthwhile fight by dearhappy

It's not that Henry's scared of their future, he's never been more sure of anything in his life. The thing is they're still trying to figure out how that future is going to look. And he worries about how it'll affect Alex's career in politics.

Déjame Ver Cómo Es Que Floreces by 14carrotgold

Oscar gets in close and bluntly asks, “Earlier. In the bathroom. Did you do it?” Alex scoffs, “No. Don't be a perv. Why would you wanna know that anyway?” Oscar rolls his eyes. “Mind out of the gutter, chamaco. Did you propose?” Ah.  - Henry is introduced to the extended Diaz side of the family at their matriarch's birthday. Shenanigans (and romance and feelings) ensue.

Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood by chamel

“I’m glad you both see it that way,” Dr. Chen says. Then she closes her notebook and folds her hands on top of it. “I think I’m starting to get a sense of where the issues lie. The good news is that you’re both here, and you’re both willing to work on this relationship. That’s promising. Not all of the couples I see are even at that point.” “Sorry, what?” Henry says, voicing Alex’s stuttering thoughts as well. (After one too many fights at work, Henry and Alex are assigned mandatory reconciliation therapy by their boss. Except the therapist thinks they're there for couples therapy... and surely, a bet on who will break first makes more sense than actually correcting her, right?)

Such a Burden, This Flame on My Chest by allmylovesatonce

Alex Claremont-Diaz is relocating back to Austin to join his dad's firehouse. His days as a firefighter in Washington D.C. ended badly, but no one knows that, or knows why. And he plans to keep that close to his chest. He has to shove it back down if he wants to seem like a normal person, if he wants to do the job, if he wants to get along with his new crew, and most of all, if he wants to get to know the hot British firefighter on the squad. No one can know what really happened.

thinking (about last night) by rhosyn_du

“I hope you know that I am literally never going to stop reminding you that you said that. I’m going to, like, take out an ad in the student paper. Maybe hire a skywriter or something. I am definitely telling Pez." "I hate you," Henry tells him. "Lies," Alex says, still laughing. "You know you love me." Henry lets out a heavy sigh. "Well," he says softly, "that's rather the problem, isn't it?" “What, you think we’d be better off if we still hated each other?” “I think," Henry says slowly, "I’d be better off if I could figure out how to stop being so stupidly in love with you.” It takes a few seconds for the words to really register, as distracted as Alex is by the heat of Henry’s breath and wondering how much it would cost to actually hire a skywriter. Once they do, it takes a full minute before Alex can move. Can breathe. Can think. Finally, he forces out a whispered, “What?” When that gets no response, he tries again. This time, his voice actually cooperates. “Wait, what?” The only response he gets is a soft snore and Alex realizes that Henry, the utter fucking asshole, has passed out on his shoulder.

you're the reason i let myself fall by perfect-porcelain (tedddylupin)

Alex doesn't quite know what to expect when he walks into a room with a glowing screen separating him from the person in the other pod. The entire experience makes him skeptical. How can you fall in love with someone you've never met? Or: Love is Blind AU

Sharper Head, Wilder Heart by Dawg1515

"This could work out,” Henry offers. “It could,” Alex replies. “That’s good, then. Someone’s going to have to walk me through the brilliance of Empire Strikes Back, after all.” “Sweetheart, if we’re legitimately dating now, I’m forcing you to watch every movie that has Harrison Ford in it.” “Duly noted.” Or: When the Queen decides it’s time for Henry to settle down with a woman, she arranges a courtship between him and Alex Claremont-Diaz, closeted political powerhouse. Alex secretly tells Henry he’s trans, and Henry tells Alex that he’s gay. To say they become an amazing couple would be an understatement—but nothing is ever that easy for a prince and a president’s son.

every version of you (i love) by coffeecatsme

“So,” the voice narrates as the man squishes the dog’s cheeks and laughs at himself. “There’s this guy that lives next to me with the cutest beagle in the world and this little guy climbs to the fence every day to drop his toys off at, like, 5:30 on the dot, I’m not kidding.” The camera shows the man boop the dog’s nose and press a little kiss to his forehead. There’s a ball in his hands that he hands to the dog, but it slips from his mouth all over again, making the man reach down to grab it. He glares at the dog, but even then he’s still smiling. “And this guy always walks by and picks up the stuff and it’s the cutest fucking thing ever you have no idea.” The camera zooms in farther into the man’s smile, genuine and wild, as he pushes his wild curls away from his face. His eyes flicker up when another figure walks into the frame, his blonde hair falling over his forehead in waves. The man’s smile, impossibly, widens. “Oh. I’m also pretty sure he has a crush on my neighbor.” Or, 5 times David greets Alex with something that belongs to Henry, and 1 time he greets Alex with something that belongs to both of them.

The Duke Who Loved Me by annesbonny, Inareskai, schmulte

This Author knows as well as anyone how much you, gentle readers, enjoy a scandal and a love story. And what could bring more delight that two young gentlemen who bring both of those wherever they go? Join the Duke of Mountchristen and the, untitled, Mr Claremont-Diaz as they attempt to find a Love Match amongst the gossip of the ton.

The Edge of Glory by politics_and_prose

Subject: CD-10 To: Alex Claremont-Diaz (acd@cdlaw.com) From: Natasha Wallace (nwallace@txdems.com) Alex - You know how you jokingly told me to let you know when Mayfield was vulnerable and/or not seeking re-election? Tash

lying in the low light by smc_27

The thing about having a one night stand with the guy your sister is close friends with and gatekept from you is that it becomes really fucking important that she never knows. Or, Alex and Henry have a one year stand. Or, Alex and Henry are in a relationship, only they’re the only ones who don’t know it.

what we might do (if we stop keeping a secret) by indomitablelove

'This isn't how I wanted to tell people. I thought we'd get the chance to do it right.' - Red, White and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston, p.327 --- or, in another world, Alex and Henry get to do it right.

Who Could Love You The Same as I by MariaDmitrievnaLikesSundays

Inside was exactly what Alex had found himself dreaming about ever since that night at Kensington. The kind of dreams that he forced himself to forget once he woke up, but dreams all the same. A gold band, simple and smooth, with a single square diamond embedded on top. It was small, modest, exactly to Alex’s taste. ”Holy shit,” he said again. “Holy shit.” That was a ring. That was, unmistakably, an engagement ring. Hidden in his boyfriend’s coat. And he had just found it.

—— Or, Alex finds the engagement ring that Henry had hidden, and does exactly what you’d expect him to.

As the World Falls Down by 3bowtruckles

So while we all knew that the 2020 written in the book would be glorious fiction, we didn’t realize that reality would throw us something to take 2020 even further away from the book’s events. This story is where I attempt to merge our 2020 reality and the fiction of RWRB, using research (a LOT of research) to try to figure out what the trajectory of reality might have been. The story starts picking up the timeline after their late-February trip to Paris. After that, it's strictly AU, but I try to keep a lot of the intents of the events in the book (for instance, Alex's trip to confront Henry in Britain after the lake) while still making them fit the narrative I've created.

We'll Change the World Yet to our Dessire [sic] by cresswells

Alex and Henry are engaged and ready to share their announcement with the world, but after the media circus surrounding their forced outing Queen Mary wants them to do things properly this time. To Alex’s surprise, ‘properly’ apparently means taking a Royal Tour around Europe as an official couple. Ten days, five countries and lots of unnecessary wardrobe changes. What could possibly go wrong?

where clouds look like mountains by weather_stained

Four months after the election, while still learning to navigate the complexities of being in a public relationship, Alex finally has the chance to show Henry around Austin.

We'll Invite Something In by smc_27

Alex is grinning a little too hard.  This is absolutely idiotic and pointless and fun.  The cover of Hello UK with a photo of him pulled out and a photo of His Royal Highness Prince Henry Fox-Mountchristen whatever the hell the rest of his names are (Alex knows; he being a dick) with the admittedly stupid but flattering headline which reads: His Royal Highness: He’s just like us and crushes on Pres ACD.

Henry's Cold, Empty Tower by DracoWillHearAboutThis

“I want you,” Henry said, slowly but clearly, “to leave.” When Alex storms Kensington Palace, Henry sends him away. Then, their relationship gets leaked, and it's Henry's turn to fight for Alex.

behind the diamond-shaped glass by Celaestis

Five times Alex and Henry used tea and biscuits to communicate, and one time they don't need to.

The Byline by rosetintednerdglasses

Press Secretary Alex Claremont-Diaz serves at the pleasure of the President, and he does it excellently until a new White House correspondent darkens his press room: Henry Fox, The Guardian.

we've been here forever (here's the frozen proof) by r_holland

Objectively, I am aware that you – a stranger – cannot tell me my own sexuality any better than I can, however... Can you, please? Tell me? It’s 4am and I have been thinking about this for hours, and I can’t sleep. Warmest regards, ACD *** It’s four in the morning, and Alex Claremont-Diaz has managed to follow a research spiral straight down into a personal crisis. It isn’t the first time.

words on the tip of your tongue (but please don't say them) by viciouslyqueer

So close. He was so close to saying those words that have lived inside him for so long, and now it's gone, a moment that slipped right between his fingertips before he could grasp it. Now he’s floating in the middle of the lake alone, the ghost of Henry’s touch still lingering on his skin and an unknown, heartbreaking feeling in his chest. — Or: canon-divergence where Henry doesn't leave the lake house.

The Grand Tour by lucky (revolutionbarbie)

When Henry returned from an audience with Queen Mary looking stony faced and grim, Alex had immediately feared the worst. She had requested to see Henry – and Henry alone – the moment their plane had landed at Heathrow on a visit to Pez’s new shelter in London.  Alex had suggested that they go to see her together just to spite the old hag, but Henry wanted to keep the peace. Since moving to Brooklyn, they had entered into an uncomfortable détente with Queen Mary and Henry was loathe to be the one to break it.  “She wants us to go to Australia. It would be an unofficial Royal Tour, of sorts, with stops in several cities and a short visit to New Zealand. Three and a half weeks in total.”  “She wants to send us on an all-expenses paid Australian getaway? Count me in.”

come and get me by rizcriz

The email arrives 8 days after Henry left the lake house. He contemplates deleting it without reading, but it sits in his Alex inbox, where there are over seventy emails favourited, and somehow it feels wrong and weirdly impersonal. As if leaving without a note were any different. He stares at the from line with an aching longing that seeps into his veins. It settles on his heart like a tangible thing; something warranted and cruel that casts shackles around the aorta and locks them tight so that he might never love again. -- or, alex sends an email instead of flying to KP.

Never Did Run Smooth by clottedcreamfudge

"You and me? Best friends. Stellar. Love that for us. But we could absolutely fake being in love. Dating. Whatever. I know literally everything about you—" (No you don't, Henry thinks firmly) "—and you know everything about me. We would absolutely fucking annihilate the other contestants.” "You're too drunk to apply," Henry points out, like he himself isn't about as wasted as it's possible for him to be without curling up and going immediately to sleep. "I doubt you could spell your own name right on the application. Or mine." Alex grins and pulls something up on his phone; it looks like it takes him a few tries. "Wanna fucking bet?" *** Or: Henry's life is a comedy of errors; a patchwork of oopsie-daisies; a quilt stitched together with hauntingly terrible mistakes. And at the centre of it all is his best friend, Alex Claremont-Diaz; director of said comedy, threading together his oopsie-daisies into a flower crown, rolling around in the quilt of his own making, and this analogy is going to shit because Henry's so in love with him he wants to die.

idk I'll do a part two if anyone wants.

[hiro-doodlez]

WINNERS FOR THE DTIYS!!

I am SCREAMING. after doing tons of look overs i had 20 FUCKING SUBMISSIONS!!!! Thank you guys SO MUCH!!!!!! EVERYONES SUBMISSIONS WERE SO FUCKING COOL!!!!! I KEEP LOOKING AT THEM AND I START SCREAMING AND CRYING AND THROWING UP IN PURE JOY AND WHIMSEY!!!!!

HONORABLE MENTIONS!!! (9th-4th)

9TH!!!!!!!, @moccasins !!!!

I LOVED THIS ONES POSES AND COLORS AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS JUST AMAZING!!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! THEIR EXPRESSIONS TOO!!! JUST LOOK AT THEM!

8TH!!!!! BY @swiftmitsu !!!!!!! OWHWHAOAA

I LOVED THIS ONES EXPRESSIONS AND POSES!!! THEY JUST LOOK SO HAPPY AWWAHAHAH

REST OF THE WINNERS UNDER THE CUT!!!

7TH BY @rawrlands

I LOVED THIS ONES STYLE! THE EXPRESSIONS AND FLOWYNESS ARE AMAZING!!! HEHEHEEHHE

6TH BY @inka-boi !

THIS STYLE IS SO FUCKING COOL!!! ITS SO SHARP AND JUST OVERALL AMAZING!!! ONE OF MY VERY PERSONAL FAVS!!!

5TH- @shynetyme06

THIS ONES COLORS AND EXPRESSIONS ARE SO FUCKING COOL!!! I LOVE THIS ENTIRE THING LOOKS AMAZING!!

AND ONTO THE FINAL 4!!! AND THE PRIZES

EXTRA NOTE FOR THE WINNERS!!! If you would like one of my keychains instead as a prize (in my pinned) YOU CAN TOTALLY DO THAT (and then its less work on my part LMFAO)

ALL OF YOU GET A DRAWING OF WHATEVER YOU WANT.. POSSIBLY FULLY RENDERED!!!

4TH - @sansburger

I FUCKING LOVE YOUR STYLE SANSBURGER!!! IM GONNA BE HONEST, WHEN I SAW YOU SUBMITTED ONE I JUST STARTED STIMMING AND SCREAMED !!!AA!!! THE STYLE IS JUST SO!!!!!!

3RD- @sandeewithtwoe !!!

GOD I LOVE THIS STYLE!! THE EXPRESSIONS AND THE POSES ARE JUST SO COOL!! JUST THE WAY EVERYTHING LOOKS IS AMAZING!!!

Im gonna be honest with you guys, why this has been taking me so long was these last 4, ESPECIALLY THE TOP 2!

2ND- @tuxibirdie !!!!

GODDDDDD TUXI IVE BEEN SCREAMING EVER SINCE I SAW THIS!!! DUDE THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL!!! HAGAGRGHRHRHRHQGAGAHGH I HAVE NO WORRDDSSSSSSS AHAHAHAAHAHAHSSNDH I LOVE THEMM

NOW…… THE ONE YOURE ALL WAITING FOR

CONGRATULATIONS TO 1ST PLACE, @elizakai !!!!!!!!!!

DUDE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO COOL…. THE SHADING THE POSES THE COLORS EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKING AMAZING!!! THE AMOUNT OF DETAIL AND JUST HOW EVERYTHING LOOKS IS JUST SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO FUCKING COOLLL RAHAGAGAHRHG EATING IT NOMNOMNOM THANK YOU SO GODDAMN MUCH!!!

But wait

2 FIRST PLACES?!?!!!?

@nyazako OR @aikyudo !!!

LOOK AT THIS!!! ITS JUST SO FUCKING COOL!!! MY BOYS ARE FABRIC NOW!!!

This image doesnt give it enough credit (and its breaking i dunno why its doing that LMFAO) so HERES A LINK TO THE POST !!!! https://www.tumblr.com/aikyudo/729722451008815104/aaaand-shes-done-these-tags-are-intense-im

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATED!!!! THIS WAS SUCH A JOY TO DO AND IM PROBABLY GONNA DO ONE AGAIN SOON!! (600?) THANK YOU ALL I LOVE YOUUU!!!!!! CONGRATS TO EVERYONE WHO WON!!!

Winners dm me! We’ll figure out prizes from there :3 (unless you dont want a prize LMFAO)

[margowritesthings]

Hey, Margo! 🩷

I’m sending the request according to your new post 🥺

I would like a friends to lovers trope. But here’s the thing: Could the female character (lil me) and Arthur actually had a relationship in the past (current relationship status is they broke up) and now they are falling for each other again (second chance)?

Of course I would love a Red Dead Redemption (Arthur Morgan) fanfic 🩷

The gender is female, and if you could make her ginger with brown eyes (like me) I would love it 🥺 And if Arthur calls her angel, even better 🩷🩷🩷

Feel free to add smut, fluff and anything you would like!

Thank you for tagging me! You know how much I love your writing 🩷

sweet angel hello! thank you for participating, i got so many ideas for your love story with our pretty cow boah

come celebrate 1k followers with me!

arthur morgan // second chance + friends to lovers

you two have been sweet on each other since the moment you met, the day you joined the gang. arthur was brave enough to ask you on a date after only a short three months of pining after you

he took you to the saloon, you beat him at poker, and in that moment he knew you were his soulmate. a forever love.

you were together for a few months, and it was that kind of love you only thought existed in the stories you read. it was celestial, ethereal. a wild burning flame extinguished far too quickly.

when he found out about isaac and eliza's deaths, arthur really struggled. he drank a lot and lost himself for a while.

you knew the best thing to do was to just be there for him, so you both decided he needed friendship right now.

"you're my best friend, arthur. that ain't ever gonna change."

but the feelings didn't just go away as easily as your plan relied on, that flame too furious to be extinguished by simple "logic"

you wanted to respect the space arthur asked for, and he never thought he was good enough to have you after letting you go the first time

unworthy of your love

if he couldn't protect isaac and eliza, how could he ever deserve you?

and thus ensued years of pining

the very best of friends, unable to stay away from each other while this silent love roared

you'd work jobs together, go hunting together, have midnight chats by the fire, save each other's asses from time to time

years went on like this, where everybody in the gang and their mamma would share glances and roll their eyes at the two fools who couldn't just admit they were made for each other

you were the first person arthur wanted to see whenever he got back from a job, the one he rode home to even if he never said it aloud

and as much as your heart ached a little every time you looked at him, you would have stayed like that forever if it meant getting to keep arthur in your life

until the day he left it

when he didn't come back from the 'chat' with the o'driscolls, you were out of your mind with worry

the thought of never seeing arthur again flipped a switch in your mind and you finally realised that this life stuck in limbo wasn't enough

you were sneaking out in the dead of night against dutch's orders when you saw him, beaten and bloody, riding home to you

it broke you, the relief washing over you like a wave that breaks the walls you've built as though they're nothing but paper

he practically falls off his horse, but you catch his weight and support him

you take him to your tent and patch him up, holding him and crying with him when you see what they did to arthur. your arthur.

he winces when he reaches up to push that stray rebellious hair out of your face, but the way the candlelight glows in his eyes has your own breath hitching in your throat

"i was so worried, arthur... i-i thought-"

"i know, angel, i know... i'm sorry...

but i'm here now

and i ain't ever leaving you again."

that nickname... from all those years ago when you first found eachother

whispered for the first time in a moan, you and him tangled together in sheets for the very first time

"goddamn... you're an angel, how'd a dirty sinner like me ever get so lucky?"

when you broke up, you never thought you'd hear it again

and yet here you are

the sweet name echoing in your ears as he kisses you, reuniting your lips after far too long apart

it's a desperate kiss, the kind that holds two lifetimes of context

like you're scared if either one lets go the moment will disappear

so you don't

you tangle your fingers in his hair, he cups your cheek, your bodies moulding together

being any closer would be impossible

"this is it, angel, you hear? no more messing around, this is it. this is us, cause i ain't letting you go."

"you better not, mister."

you’re both crying, breathing each other in, never wanting to let one another go

and you never do again

[wellcollapse]

idk if you're still writing the post-cemetry scene fic with pining eddie (idk if i'm describing it right) but i would love to hear more about it/see a snippet or too if you feel so inclined 👀

someone asking about angsty pining fic in the month of our lord april 2024? this was such a lovely surprise 😭 i'm gonna be honest with u anon i'm likely not going to publish 911 fic again BUT because you asked so nicely i'll give you a few older snippets from my draft:

Eddie sighs, breaking the stare. “You have a key, you know,” he says finally. “Feel free to come join me whenever you want.” He turns on his heel and walks back inside to finish his goddamn brownies, leaving Buck standing in the doorway.  It’s silent for a few minutes. He’s in the middle of measuring a tablespoon of espresso powder when Buck steps into the kitchen and shuts the door behind him. Eddie feels the weight of Buck’s gaze on him as he folds the powder into his brownie mixture, but he doesn’t turn to meet his eye until Buck speaks.  “Is that…” Buck falters. He clears his throat. “Is that my recipe?”  “Yeah,” Eddie says gruffly. “Chris asked me to make it. Said he wanted to share it with his friends when they come over tomorrow for their playdate.”  Buck snorts. “Man, you can’t call it that. Chris nearly bit my head off last time I tried. Kept reminding me that ‘playdates are for kids, Buck,’ and that he’s not a kid anymore.”  Buck emphasizes that last bit with air quotes, and Eddie can’t help but grin at that. But his smile fades instantly, remembering the somber look on Buck’s face when he’d opened the door. He highly doubts that Buck came over just to commiserate about the trials and tribulations of watching Christopher grow up.  Eddie bites the bullet. “Why are you here, Buck?”  Buck shifts nervously. He shrugs and looks away from Eddie. “I — I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to answer that. You’ve never asked me that before.”  Eddie scrubs at his face. “I've never had to ask you that, Buck. Things are different now. You’ve been busy.” 

+

“Wow,” Buck says acidly, all traces of heartbreak gone. “I’ve never heard that one before.”  Eddie frowns. “What?”  “Really, Eddie?” Buck’s voice cracks on the last syllable. He shakes his head. “Unbelievable. Just — unbelievable.” “Buck — what are you talking about?”  “We were just trying to protect you, Evan," Buck mocks. "You were never supposed to find out. We kept it from you because we love you. Any of that sound familiar to you?” Eddie’s breath hitches on the word love, because he doesn’t know, he can’t know, but then —  Oh.  Fuck.

+

Buck: We’ll get through this just like everything else. I promise. It’ll be okay.  Buck: Eddie, did you eat enough today? Should I come by and bring you some food? Buck: You know you’re still my best friend, right? That’s never going to change, Eddie. Never.  He reacts with a thumbs up or a tap-back heart on most of the messages, too exhausted to do anything else. He replies with a thumbs down to the message about food, certain that he wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Buck so soon. He knows he’ll have to face him in person eventually, but his tired, broken heart just wants to postpone it as much as he can.  The last one, though, is a balm that both soothes and agitates Eddie’s burning, aching heart, and he taps out a brief, Thank you, you too. Always, in response. It feels like too much and not enough all at once, and Eddie wishes once again that he was a little better at resisting Buck, that he didn’t feel that need to reply to his every message lest Buck worry even more about him. The only one he actually acknowledges is a message that comes in at 2:43 AM on Sunday. As he opens the message, Eddie absentmindedly wonders if Buck’s having a hard time falling asleep for the same reason as him. Probably.  It’s a link to a new exhibit at the Griffith Observatory, accompanied by a text that reads: Can I take Christopher here next weekend? Eddie squeezes back tears as he replies with a brief, Of course, and puts his phone down, letting the darkness swallow him again. 

+

Hen beats him to it. “What happened, Buck? I thought you really liked her. Weren’t you planning to introduce her to Maddie and Chimney next week?”  “Not anymore,” Buck mutters. “I broke up with her.”  “What?” Eddie snaps head snaps up. “Why?”  Buck doesn’t meet his gaze, his lip quivering. The rest of their team is watching them, eyes darting back and forth, and Buck blinks hesitantly before swallowing down a sip of coffee. He wipes the cream off of his upper lip and looks Eddie in the eye.  “You know why,” Buck whispers. 

[halliescomut]

Love Sea Ep 2 Watch Along

I am a couple days late because migraines suck, but I'm finally sitting down to watch ep 2. I'm gonna try to gives some first inpressions here, but we'll see how we go.

-Opening shot and I accidentally caught crew in the back of the boat. Hehe...whoops. Can't always catch that.

-When he says "what this man's sex taste like" does he mean literally or figuratively??? Like...I'm just not sure if it's wonky translation, or ???

-Okay, but the way Mut put's their legs together, but keeps their torso's apart....like touching, but not invading Rak's space....that's kinda hot.

-I do come from a seafood family, literally my maternal grandparents ran a seafood restaurant for over a decade, but I'm not a seafood person, so I kinda feel like the food stuff is going over my head.

-Like...I knew it was gonna happen, but I'm still blushing so hard. That eye contact is DANGEROUS.

-Peat's muscles!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

-Literally Rak is so cranky that he hurt himself and cut off sexy time. His grumpy face.

I love Mook so much. I would die for her, she's so precious.

Are those generic baby shark bandaids??

I love how quickly Rak takes advantage of the loophole Mut presents him with. He immediately is like "you are correct, this is not my bed, let's bang!" (Also I fucking loved this line in the trailer. It's quippy, it's clever, Fort delivers it so well. Perfection.)

I mean...if your gonna engage in sexy time on the beach...oral would be your best option, so....

Jesus with the leg over the shoulder....goddamn.

Those hips are moving quite a lot Rak, be careful with Mut, you don't want to break him.

The mouth wipe.....I'm dying. I will say the timing was a bit fast there at the end, but like...legit portrayal of oral, and not just vaguely refering to it is new in Thai BL, so props for that. (Also it was one of my bingo squares. Yay me.)

I was predicting the whole "I'm inspired, we gotta go back to my room right now", but that did not stop it from being funny as hell.

Is Tongrak basically Mame's self-insert?? I just thought about this, bc they used the MMY logo for the fake website, probably just so they didn't have to bother with getting a non-copywritten one, or pay to use a real one, but like I just thought about this, since he's a writer who writes Y-Series, and part of what P'Vie does (I'm pretty sure) is make them into shows.... fascinating to consider.

We do see the cover for The Boy Next World, both the BN one and the orignal manga-style one...interesting.... As well as the cover for Love Director, which is one of the novels directly related to the LITA side of the Mame-verse....also interesting.

Rak's fake insta is hot. I tell you what, Mame shows got their issues, but costuming is pretty much always on point.

Okay so P'Vie is an actress...still involved with Rak's shows, but not the director I guess.

I really do get distract by how pretty Peat's eyes are.

Okay, Though he was just showering, but then I saw the motion... the blushing begins again. (Look I know I've written smut, and I watch BL, but I'm still Ace, so a lot of times my reaction is very Edwardian noble lady. I'm sorry!)

No, but I paused it to write that last sentence and the look on Rak's face!!!!

Rak is very bite-y. It suits his character, really. I Like it.

That was....very athletic.

I have thoughts about the sex scene. I'll save those for the 'Thoughts' post though.

I do think it's funny that Rak is so disturbed because the sex was good. That's funny.

Side note, I know this is an adult show, it includes a lot of adult themes, but somehow the Hallmark Movie-ness of Mame's shows makes it feel very weird when people cuss. Like, it feels odd for Rak to say Fuck there. It somehow just gives the vibe of 'see how grown-up we are with the cussing'. IDK if that makes sense, or if anyone else feels that way.

Mook's reaction to the forehead kiss is so cute, but P'Vie's got two episodes to get her act together, or I'm gonna start to dislike her.

I still don't remember the name of Mut's friend (I'm sorry) but I do think he's very funny. The actor is doing a very good job.

I know IRL, I would hate the entitledness/possessive-ness of Rak, but that was kind hot.

I love how amused Mut is by Rak. It's one of the things that feels like Fort peeking through tbh.

Oops...none of us did consider that a considerably long motorbike ride the day after some pretty vigorous back door sex may not be the best idea. But also, I feel like this is part of why prep/aftercare is important, and they (meaning BLs) should focus on it more. Like it's wouldn't fix everything, but it would help.

Oh, I really do like Mut's friend...who's name is Palm....I will try to remember.

I doubt this was Mame's intention, but I do appreciate the discussion of how franchised tourism can be harmful to local residents.

Sweet Mut so shy about taking genuine compliments. That's so cute.

Oh I'm familiar with that kind of manufactured flippancy when it comes to speaking about family ties that have been broken.... there be trauma there mateys.

God I have a lot of incomplete thoughts about this scene. I'm gonna have to rewatch and break it down later.

Oh, Rak is 100% a self-insert.

I do wonder when we're gonna get more info regarding that first thought about escaping though. It feels like Rak is trying to keep things surface level, but is accidentally revealing more than he intends.

I respect the attempt to get info out of Kom. I also respect Connor for not giving any.

I'm excited for the diving and underwater shots, but Rak--why the fuck are you wearing a small fortune in high-end designer jewelery for that?? like, leave that shit in your room dude.

Also, I've officially decided I love Palm and his doofus-energy. I will now protect him with my life.

God Bless Wetsuits! Amen!!

Sir what the fuck are you doing???? If this were a different couple I'd say Rak is well on his way to a spanking.

But also, this is so pretty,

Flashback!!! Yes, another bingo box, but also...why do drama parents always break up directly in front of their kids?

There's a metaphor happening about not diving alone and the flashbacks and reconciling his traumas in relation to love/trusting men (in a romantic way)....my brain is too stupid to make a cohesive explanation, but it's there.

I love the way Mut just looks at Rak... like it's fascinating how much Fort is able to portray with his gaze. I thought that during LITA, but it's confirmed here. Because, yes the longing/loving gaze is alive and well, but you can see the concern, the confusion, even the questioning that's happening. It's wild.

Well that's all for the episode. I'll probably rewatch tomorrow and thry to organize my thoughts into something vaguely cohesive, but no promises. Despite the very swift jump into the sex, we got a lot of insight today, into to both of them really.

[yorshie]

Hey, Yorshie! Fun fact: I was the one who sent in the original prompt for Raph with the phrase "tell me it was a lie. tell me you're playing with me right now." You did SUCH a great job with it.

After deleting my reply to your other post, I kept thinking about it trying to remember exactly what my reply had been, and then I was like... hm. I'm gonna. I'm gonna write that, actually. So, here's a present for you Yorshie! My first ever reader-insert piece. (Obviously, feel free to delete/not post this if it's too... idk. Anything. I hope this is an okay thing to do.)

Another fun fact: the title in my gdoc is "Yorshie's Gift" lol <3

---

You would recognize the rumble of that motorcycle anywhere.

No one else had realized, yet, just how much danger you were all about to be in. The others were still hauling boxes into the back of the truck. Only you were frozen, hands hovering in the air above the box you’d been reaching for.

You needed to get everyone out of here fast. Most of these new recruits were just kids, barely out of high school. Searching for a sense of belonging, a sense of purpose, like you had when you first joined years ago. Every year there were more. Kids who had never believed they even had a chance at a future, kids who got caught up in the pretty lies and promises that the clan used to suck them in. You hated to see it happen, but there was really nothing you could do about it. You had agreed to lead this excursion, hoping at least that you could be there to ensure no one got hurt.

The rumble was getting louder.

You jerked up, hissing out an order to retreat. The others paused in their movements to look at you, surprised, and you felt a wave of frustration and terror constrict your lungs as they stared at you. 

Their hesitation would get them killed.

 “Move your ass!” You shoved the keys of the truck into the hands of the nearest member and pushed them toward the front. “Now!”

Thankfully, they started to scramble. Within seconds the truck peeled away, leaving behind at least half of the goods you had been ordered to secure. You really couldn’t fucking care less. You made sure the recruits who hadn’t been able to fit in the truck were headed toward safety, too, before starting to run.

And then you stopped.

The rumble was so loud, now, that you could almost feel the vibrations in your chest. He’d be here any second. You should run. You should run. The last words he’d spoken to you, weeks ago, echoed in your mind. 

“I’d better not see you again. If I do, my face is the last thing you’ll ever see, I can promise you that.”

You knew what you would be running from, but… what exactly were you running toward? More listless days with your mind lost in a haze of regret? More nights alone with your chest hollow and aching? Before him, you hadn’t even realized that you were just going through the motions of your life. And then you had found what you were looking for, after all this time. You had found that sense of belonging, that purpose that you had so desperately sought out when you were too young to know any better and you had turned to the foot clan. And when you’d found what you’d been looking for, it hadn’t even been something you found in the foot clan itself. You’d found it in their enemy.

Raphael.

Then you’d lost him. It was your own goddamn fault, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. The weeks since he’d found out had left you feeling untethered. Floating through the days, wondering what the fuck the point was, anyway. You hadn’t realized just how much he had changed your life, just how much he had changed you. And now, without him…

You didn’t want to run anymore.

A strange sense of finality settled over you. It’s what you deserved, anyway, wasn’t it? You were a criminal. No matter what circumstances had led you here, no matter how trapped you had felt… you were still a criminal. And you had still lied to him, for so long. 

And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. For his face to be the last one you ever saw.

Tires squealed, pulling you from your thoughts, and then he was there. You watched him leap from his bike, sprinting down the alley straight toward you, and the adrenaline that burst through you reminded you that you should run. You were wearing your full gear, face covered by the mask that had been replaced after he’d crushed your old one in his hand. He didn’t even know it was you. You could still slip away into the shadows, you could still- 

You didn’t move. 

He was fast, faster than most people could even follow, but time seemed to slow as he approached. You could see the determination, the anger in his expression. In the tense set of his shoulders. But beneath that, there was a weary sadness. And despite the fear that was clawing its way up your throat, that sadness that you saw was what solidified your decision. 

An enormous fist, clenched around a sai, barrelled toward you, but you focused instead on Raphael’s face. The last face you’d ever see. So angry and tired and sad, and it looked like that because of you.

Yeah. You deserved this.

And the blow hit.

WWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! OMG YOUR FIRST READER INSERT AND YOU SEND IT TO ME????? *crying* LET’s GO!!!

Wow! Your pacing is very good *trying not to cry* I was totally immersed *tears start falling* and the feeling! The feel- *breaks down sobbing* omg what if raph takes off the mask at the end OR DOESNT WHICH ONE IS WORSE!!!!???

*straight up bawling at this point* im fine! It’s just. It really hit me in the angst corner. Don’t mind me I’m just. Gonna slide along the floor in a little raccoon puddle.

But IT WAS A GOOD READ. IMMA READ IT AGAIN!!

Also! If you ever write for the turtles again, please tag me. I’d love to be in your tag list and I’d love to read it.

[kindafooey]

Käärijä (feat. Vinttikoira) - Aikuinen, translated to English by meee :3

Hey yall! I've been hoping for an excuse to do full translations of Käärijä's lyrics, and I saw a couple of songs requested by @verminetroglodyte in the tags of that one post, soooo here's the first one! Prolly gonna follow up with Menestynyt yksilö tomorrow night :D I've taken some minor artistic liberties here in order to match the vibes of the original lyrics as closely as possible, so I'm open to any feedback and questions you might have in mind. Oh and do request more song translations if there are any you'd like to see! I love doing this, haha.

--

Korkeakouluttamattomuudesta huolimatta mä oon hyväntuulinen / Despite my lack of higher education I'm a cheerful type

Joku vois kysyy, että oonko mä hullu / Someone may ask if I'm a fool

Voin vastata, että oon hullunkurinen / To that I can say I'm all about tomfoolery

Onks ohjeit antaa miten elää tai vastuun kantaa / Got any advice on how to live my life or do my duty?

Sillä mun tieto ei niin vankka oo sijottamisen suhteen eikä paljon pakkaa oo (ei oo) / Cause my investments ain't intelligent and I ain't got no stacks (no stacks)

Mua raastaa, kuulen kuinka muut nappaa paikan oikiksest (oh no) / Still it grates me, when others tell me they scored a spot in law school (oh no)

Eikä koskaan natsannu omalla kohalla ja se varmistu postitse (voi ei) / While all I ever got was a rejection letter in my mailbox (oh no)

Mä oon kondiksessa / But I'm alright

Sama se vaikka ne mua koettavat hiillostaa / Don't care if they try to roast me

Mä oon aikuinen eli päätän siitä mikä vittu mua kiinnostaa / I'm a grown-up and I get to decide what strikes my own fuckin' fancy

Chorus (by Vinttikoira):

Miks sä otat riskei / Why you taking risks

Noilla sun peliliikkeil / With those player maneuvers

Sä oot valmis lyömää ohi sun swingei / You're ready to miss all your swings

Vaikka sul vois olla jotain fiksuuki kehitteil / Even though you could have good things cookin'

Joten oisko nyt viimein aika kasvaa aikuiseks / So don't you think it's time to finally grow up

Ja pistää pelit seis / And grind the games to a halt

Oon aikuinen / I'm a grown-up

Vaikka toisinaa en tiiä et mitä oon / Even if sometimes I don't know what I am

Ilman CV:tä paikkoi täytän eikä ne mun älyy hyötykäytä vaikka sitä on / I'm doing entry-level jobs without a resume and they don't make use of my wits though there's plenty in me

Käärijän vartaloo pitkin valuu hikikarpalo / A bead of sweat rolls down Käärijä's body

Kun ne väittää еtten kartal oo / When they tell me I'm all over the place

Jos ei pihas oo avoautoa tai kartanoo / When there's no convertible parked in my yard and I've got no mansion

Ja se pеrhana raastaa meit / And it grates us to goddamn shreds

Kuulla ettei olla mitää ilman merittei / To hear we're nothing without merits

Korkeesta koulusta ei tavikset saa niiden touhusta kredittei (voi ei) / Normies ain't getting no college credits from their hustle (oh no)

Nyt mä päätin sen / Now I've made up my mind

Sama se vaikka ne mua koettavat hiillostaa (ai) / Don't care if they try to roast me (ow)

Mä oon aikuinen eli päätän siitä mikä vittu mua kiinnostaa / I'm a grown-up and I get to decide what strikes my own fuckin' fancy

[Chorus]

Mä oon aikuinen mutta omal tyylillä / I'm a grown-up but in my own style (x2) (hah!)

Ei mitää perinteist / Nothin' traditional

Mä menin eri teit (ha) / I took a different path (hah)

Joita kuljen kunnes vislaan pelit seis / That I'll keep walking until I whistle my games to a halt

(Vinttikoira:)

Joo, joo / Yeah, yeah

Päällä asuntolaina / Got a mortgage on your back

Ja alla pankin auto eikä oravanpyörästä vartin taukoo / Your ride is owned by the bank, no break from the grind

Ja himassa päätään vaimo aukoo / Got a wife at home running her mouth

Pitää laskut maksaa ku vastuu kasvaa / Gotta pay the bills as responsibilities pile up

Mutta mulla on jatkumassa mun lapsuus vasta / Meanwhile I'm just extending my childhood

Ei mun sulle tarvii olla vakuuttamassa / No need to go out of my way to convince you

Eikä raksalla nakuttamassa (naks, naks, naks, naks, naks) / Or to bang away at a construction site (tap, tap, tap, tap, tap)

Ja sehän sukulaisii takuulla rassaa / and I bet it vexes my relatives

Ku mun laiffi on tabula rasa / when my life is a tabula rasa

Ja elämäntapa (mikä) / and my lifestyle (what)

Hakuna matata

Teini-ikänen mutanttininja Vinttikoira / Teenage mutant ninja Vinttikoira

Ei inttipoika eikä sivarijätkä / not an army boy nor a civilian service bro

Enkä eti mitää rivarinpätkää / not looking for my own piece of a rowhouse

Voit ne pois mun listaltani jättää / you can leave those off my list

[Chorus]

Mä oon aikuinen mutta omal tyylillä / I'm a grown-up but in my own style (x2) (Hah!)

Ei mitää perinteist / Nothin' traditional

Mä menin eri teit (ha) / I took a different path (hah!)

Joita kuljen kunnes vislaan pelit seis (pelit seis) / That I'll keep walking until I whistle the games to a halt (games to a halt)

(x2)

Oon aikuinen / I'm a grown-up

Oon aikuinen omal tyylil / I'm a grown-up in my own style

Mitä mitä / What what (x2)

Oon aikuinen / I'm an adult

Omal tyylil / In my own style

[goth-mami-writer]

A post about my life lately.

(If you fucking care ✌️🫠)

⚠️Tw: There's some mentions in this that may stir certain emotions regarding✨️pro-choice✨️mindsets (abortion) and vomiting. So if you think that's gonna upset you, don't interact pls. Thx.⚠️

Soooooooo-

I've been away. And here's why without being theatrical - I found out I was pregnant again. And....I wasn't happy.

I'm a mom to 1 already and...I knew that I couldn't do it again. It's hard, to be as frank as I can. The physical effect of pregnancy on the body is something...I despise? I had awful, TERRIBLE sickness the first time anddd fuck, it was the same this time.

Yeah, no. You can go ahead and count me out.

Well- Were you using BiRtH CoNtrOl?!, you may ask?

Yes. Abso-fuckin-lutely. I had an IUD inserted two months after I had my first kid. Cause FUCK THAT. I knew I didn't want another. My son's awesome. Being his mom is my reason for living. But pregnancy is not for me.

So- this being the decision, I fucking called the one person I goddamn trust and that's Mera. ❤️ @short-honey-badger

And bitch, did we plan a trip. We had to drive OUT OF OUR STATE TO RECEIVE THE CARE NECESSARY. (That's a topic for another day tho t-.-t )

✨️Anyways,✨️ Mera is a badass and drove me to said appointment as I'm fighting the most debilitating nausea. All I could stand to eat without vomiting was fucking popsicles and slushies. So yum at 5 am, BTW.

~But here's where shit gets wild~

I show up, ready to have this done. Get on with my life. Maybe start writing again because I know that I'll feel better. The nurses and staff were incredible and sweet. But there was one problem.....my IUD was out of place, they tell me.

Okay? I knew that, right? Obviously, that's why it didn't work and I got pregnant. Makes sense.

NONONONO. I'm laying on a table out of my home state, laughing gassed out of MY FUCKING MIND, with a lady doctor telling me in the calmest demeanor that she can that I need FUCKING ✨️EMERGENCY SURGERY✨️

LIKE. HOW DO YOU REACT...TO THAT?

So...the staff is obviously letting me recover from the procedure- THE ONE I JUST HAD. and now I'm being fed all this medical jargon basically saying that if I didn't receive surgery, this IUD was gonna tear its way into my other organs because it was already embedded in the muscle tissue of my abdomen.

Fucking AWESOME.

Luckily, all these people were contracted to the local hospital in this city and they were going to let them know I was coming over and all that good jazz, but I basically needed to get over there. Like...now. RIGHT NEOW. 💀

So then it's me and Mera just navigating parts of a city that we just DO NOT fucking know, trying to get me to said hospital where this surgery needed to take place. It wasn't far but goddamn this hospital had absolute SHIT parking. It was a monster to fucking navigate as well. Luckily, I was on some good pain meds that were keeping me kinda stable, but ooohhhh, not for long.

We get checked into the ER and yeah, I started HURTING. Not to mention also, viciously nauseous once again. But this time, because I hadn't eaten anything since 5am and I was told that it would basically be fucking ILLEGAL for me to eat again until I got off this operating table.

Fucking. AWESSOMMEE.

(I thought you said it was an emergency, why didn't they have you in OR yet??)

I HAD TO WAIT FOR THESE MFS TO GET THERE, HOLD ON.

My particular case needed staffing of crazy ass doctors to oversee this procedure. I swear to God, I met like 5 people in the four hours that I sat in the emergency room before being prepped for surgery.

I was rolled out for testing like four different times! All kinds of shit just being shot into my IV while I'm still fucked up on the first dose of morphine that's still whooping my ass in and out of consciousness as Mera is at my bedside like,

"O.o u okay?" (Bc she's an angel that stayed with me during the entirety of this fucking insanity like T-T)

FINALLY. I got into my fucking surgery. It went fine, everything is fine. But goddamn, I'm exhausted. Mera was exhausted. We'd been up for almost 24hrs at this point in the day and now I'm finally being admitted into an actual room for post-op recovery.

That next morning before my discharge, I was let know the gravity of my situation and things like that. I was reassured that nothing I did caused this IUD to move. And that meant one thing-

It was never inserted correctly in the first place.

✨️So✨️ let me be the first one to tell you- please. For the love of FUCK. Go get your IUD checked. Via fucking ultrasound.

Don't let that sassy nurse stick a speculum in your fuggin hoo-haa and tell you she can see the strings so you're good.

Guess what? EVERYONE SAW MY STRINGS TOO.

Check your IUD!!! Or you're gonna be knocked up, getting a little pregnancy✨️deletion✨️ in a strange state where a really nice lady doctor is gonna tell you that you're like weeks away from internally bleeding and need dire abdominal surgery to prevent that. And all you're gonna have is your bestfriend who you feel terrible for bc she didn't sign up for any of this bullshit. But there you are, passed out on morphine, hungry, confused, nauseous and WAITING FOR SURGEONS.

GO TO THE GYNECOLOGIST. NEOW. 💀

[selencgraphy]

— 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

𝐓𝐖𝐎: spinning out, waiting for you (to pull me in)

PAIRING: jake seresin x f!original character

TAGS: cursing, angst, overthinking, self deprecation, abandonment issues (this part is just hurt the entire time i'm sorry)

A/N: hehe heyyy... so it's been over a year since i revamped this series and over a year since i posted the first part. i wanna apologize for such a huge gap! i got so busy in the last year and i wanted to make sure that this series lived up to the expectations i held in my head when i decided to rewrite it. this part is mostly the aftermath of jake's outburst (jessie's reaction and where jake ended up when the night finished). pls bear with me as i can't guarantee when part three will make it to you :( i appreciate you all so so much! i hope you enjoy the read!

if you want to be added to the taglist, click here!

previous part // masterlist // next part

“I don’t get how you’ve been friends with him for so long. He’s a total dickbag,” Yale said, causing her to let out a breathy laugh. “Something funny, Dice?”

Jessie turned to fully face him, saying matter-of-factly, “Yeah. There is.” He scoffed in return, gaining everyone’s attention, including Rooster who was in the far corner cooling off from the exchange. “He treats everyone like shit, acting like he’s better than all of us. He’s not, and sooner or later he’s gonna get one of us killed.”

The pace of her heart began to quicken and her teeth clenched. “Do you guys even listen to the words that fly out of his mouth?” At this point, she turned to speak to everyone waiting for a response that didn’t come. The room was silent, eyes falling down to the floor or looking blankly at her.

“That’s what I thought,” she started. “I’ll admit what he did crossed the line. He does it often. But a lot of the time he points things out how they are, albeit rather rudely. And what do you all do? You tune him out. He ain’t an angel but would it kill ya to get your heads out of your asses? Maybe then y’all would finally grow up and see past a goddamn callsign.” Her feet carried her out of the room, frustrated at the blank expressions of her fellow pilots even after her spiel. She didn't have time to keep yelling at her peers. Jessie knew the outcome of these kinds of outbursts never ended well. She’d always been his shoulder to lean on after all. But for the first time since they met, he ran away from her. In less than ten minutes, she had already turned the place upside down, but he was nowhere to be found. Her phone was gripped tightly in her hand as she called his cell hoping to hear the sound of a casino jackpot. She thought it was stupid when she found out that it was the ringtone he had set for her. “So I know that it’s you callin’, Jess,” he said.

“His car’s gone,” a voice called from the end of the hall as she came out from the last bathroom she could think to check. She didn't have to look to know who it was, the rasp of his voice giving him away. Hanging her head, she took a seat against the closest wall, her eyes clenched as she let out a deep sigh and rubbed her face. Even as the rhythmic footsteps of boots grew louder and louder, she made no effort to acknowledge his presence. Not until he filled the floorspace next to her. “D’you know why he pushes your buttons every chance he gets?” 

Taking his silence as an answer she continued. “It may not look like it, but he admires the shit out of you. Trust me. I was you. Now look at me. And sure, we’ve known each other for a long time but…” She paused, gathering herself and letting her words sink in. 

“How long have you known him?” he asked quietly, his voice bordering between a whisper and his normal voice.

That made her chuckle. Raising her head, she leaned her chin atop her folded knees. “High school. I quite literally ran into him on my first day. Face first into his backpack. He helped me find my homeroom and then sat right behind me in sixth period. Then it turned out he lived right across the street from me. I tried to ignore him—God, did I try—but he somehow managed to weaseled his way into my life. Now I can’t even imagine living without him by my side.” He hummed at her answer. It was hard to imagine them as little teenagers. It was hard to imagine him as a little teenager. Rooster’s only ever known Jake Seresin as Hangman. His rival at Top Gun. An utter pain in his ass the second they met. The image of a younger version of the man he knew today that flashed in his head was bewildering. 

“All of his bullshit? Trust that it comes from a good place. It’s his way of pushing you to be better. Not that you aren't good at what you do already—you wouldn't be here if you weren't—but there’s always room to improve. He shouldn't have brought up your dad. But everything else? He’s brutal but that’s all tough love.  Because at the end of the day his words won't kill you. The mistakes you make up there do.”

She wiped the dust off of her pants as she stood up. “I know there’s a thousand different ways he can go about it but there’s also a shit load more at stake than being named team leader.”

Quick to leave him to think about what she had said, she beelined it to her car. Once the door shut beside her, she leaned her forehead against the wheel. Images of the day flashed in the darkness of her closed eyelids. The constant failures from each of them on the course. Jake’s instigating. Rooster’s outburst. Her intervention. It all happened so fast. 

As she stopped at the stoplight leaving base, her phone rang. Jessie was quick to grab her phone and flip it over to see the caller ID, her face falling at the name. Answering it, she placed it on speaker and set it down on the center console, her hand rejoining the other on the steering wheel. “Sir, I want to apologize for Lieutenant Seresin today. He was out of line and-”

He cut her off. “It’s alright, Rosales. Lieutenant Seresin’s actions aren't what I’m calling you for.”

Oh. “We’re gonna be holding training off-base tomorrow at the Hard Deck.”

“The Hard Deck, sir?”

“Yes, I need you there at 1100 but the rest of the team’s coming at 1200. No uniforms either, come in civvies. Something you can sweat in.”

“Does Admiral Simpson know about this?”

“No. I’ll fill you in when I see you tomorrow. Have a good night, Dice.”

“You too, sir. See you tomorrow.” At the monotonic beeps, she picked up her phone again in one hand, the other still on the wheel. Even if he hadn't been answering, she wasn’t going to stop trying. 

—

He wasn’t sure how long he was sitting there for. All he knew was that the sun was up when he got there and now it was gone, replaced by the white shine of the moon cast along the ocean. Like the setting of the sun, what he knew about his future morphed into a void of uncertainty. But it wasn’t a sudden change. He had felt it happening and chose to ignore it. 

In the twenty-something years he and Jessie have known each other, they've had countless fights and arguments. Not that it was a common occurrence, but they're inevitable even if they're over something so minuscule in hindsight. Today felt different. Maybe he had gone too far. Maybe she’s finally had enough of him. Who was he kidding? He knew this day would come eventually. 

His teammates probably would find it ironic. The famous Hangman being the one left hung out to dry, in his own tears at that. No one else but her knew the actual meaning behind his callsign. She was the one who gave it to him after all. “Don’t worry about them,” she used to say. “You and I know who you are.”

He couldn't get it out of his head. The sharpness of her glare as she stood opposite him. “Why did I do that?” he repeated countless times to himself. Maybe it was just because he could. Or maybe it was envy. His own voice echoed around his skull, overlapping itself and overtaking his senses. 

It’s all your fault.

She hates you now.

You deserve to be alone.

Not good enough.

Fuck-up.

Coward.

That’s what he was. A coward. Too scared to own up to his feelings. Too scared to own up to his actions. As Hangman he felt invincible. Everyone believed their own story, and he played along, hiding behind a reputation he wasn't even sure how he got. The only person to ever see past it was Jessie. In the milliseconds his walls came crumbling down in front of everyone, they caught a glimpse of who he really was. It was fight or flight and in the end, Jake Seresin always chooses flight. 

The sudden seagull squawks pulled him out of his head. The beach was empty now, the footsteps of other people long washed away by the waves that crashed ashore. He still had to go to work the next morning, and he had been out here long enough. Dusting all of the sand off of his clothes that he could, he took one last deep breath as he stared into the open ocean in front of him. Tomorrow’s a new day, Jake. 

Ever since he had taken Amelia home for Penny, he spent a lot of time around the Benjamins. Penny started letting him hang around the house to help her daughter with her homework. Sometimes she'd even invite him over for dinner. In less than a couple days of being back in San Diego, Jake had become an honorary member of the Benjamin family. Sure, he could just go to the Hard Deck to decompress but that was where everyone else went. He didn’t want to torture the squad more than he had to. To his surprise, Penny didn’t hesitate to give him a copy of her house key. Albeit, it was followed by a threat that went along the lines of You so much as break anything or do something stupid in my home or I swear to God. She already knew he wouldn’t do such a thing but it was just funny seeing his face get all white. So when he showed up at her front door that night, his eyes red and puffy, there was no hesitation to let him in. He lost count of how many times he had thanked her as she grabbed some extra linen and pillows and clothes to change into. He didn’t deserve her kindness.

He didn't remember plugging in his phone last night. He didn't even remember asking Penny for a charger to borrow. But there it was, plugged in on the side table of the living room. He only went to look at it to see what time it was but the sight of the dozens of missed calls and unanswered text messages stopped him in his tracks—all of them from Jessie. Text after text. Missed call after missed call. But there was only one voicemail. 

I know you’ve seen my texts and my calls and I know you're ignoring me. 

Despite her being merely a recording, they took a deep breath in unison. Jake’s hand roughly rubbed over his face as she continued to talk.

If you had answered any one of my calls earlier, I probably would have yelled at you. What you said was beyond fucked-up. You had no right to say any of that, Jake. But I know you. I know you need your space right now but don’t shut me out, alright?

Her voice was quiet now, as if she was trying hard for it not to falter. With his eyes shut, he could practically see her trying to maintain her composure. 

Anyways, Mav wants all of y’all at The Hard Deck at 1200 in civvies. Don't dress up though, we’re working out. I think—I don't know, that’s all he told me. Just in case you don't actually listen to this, I texted it to you too amongst the hundreds of the other texts I sent so you better show up. I love you, bub.

When the message ended, he looked at the time stamp. Midnight. Only five hours ago. Jake threw his phone aside and ran his hands over his face, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. It would’ve been fine if things went right back to normal. Well, not entirely fine, but he liked it when his day had structure. It made everything easier. What had happened yesterday and the apparent change in today’s training agenda just left more room for things to go wrong—for him to mess up again. Just the thought of facing everyone sent his mind into overdrive. 

He hadn’t realized how long he had sat in that same position for. The early morning quiet of the Benjamin house allowed him to get lost in his never ending thoughts. He was sure only a few minutes had passed but the sound of footsteps drew him out of his daze. It was then he realized he had been practically staring a hole into Penny’s carpet for the last two hours. 

“Morning, Jake,” Penny greeted, a hot cup of coffee in her hands. “Hope the couch wasn’t too bad.”

He accepted the cup and hummed as he took a sip. “It was fine, Pen.” He took a breath. “Thank you… for letting me crash here. M’sorry for showing up so late, but I didn’t-”

She took a seat next to him. “No need to apologize, sweetie. I understand.” Jake’s head hung as he stared at and fiddled with the cup in his hands. “D’you wanna talk about it?”

He hesitated. “You don’t have to if you don’t-”

“I brought up Goose,” he interrupted quickly. At his admission, Penny took a deep breath and sighed. Despite losing touch with Maverick for a while, she knew what had happened over thirty years ago. How it affected everyone. How it still affects everyone. “I don’t know why I did it. I know how fucked it is but I just- Fuck.”

“I’m guessing you haven’t apologized yet.”

“How could I? I threw his dad’s death in his face,” he shrugged, placing his coffee cup down before throwing his face in his hands. “He’s probably gonna sock me on the spot—not that I don’t deserve it.” Jake took a breath as he tried to compose himself as his eyes started to water.

“No one’s perfect, Jake. Not Maverick. Not Rooster. Not you. We all make mistakes. Some we regret, some we don’t. You obviously regret this one so make up for it. No more running.”

Before she could say any more, Amelia jogged into the living room. “Mom, what’s for- Oh, hey, Jake.”

“Hey, Ames,” he greeted with a small smile on his face as he wiped his eyes. “Didn’t make anything today, kiddo. Go pour yourself some cereal, okay?” The young girl lingered for a second as she looked at her mother and Jake before turning around and heading for the kitchen. No more running.

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[memberment]

good morning everyone

yes it's 7pm.

no I did not just wake up for the day, but I did just wake up from a nap and honestly all I really did was read trashy webtoons and get like 500 words out meanwhile I have homework due at 3am so I might as well have just woken up.

idk y'all I was rlly sleepy today.

I got through a bunch of fun in Morning Glory but I think I'm switching back over to Revelations again bc lowk I think I can only write so much fluff before I'm like okay where the fuck is the plot???

Idk guys think I might be duo writing atp bc I get bored from things being too good and then devastated bc Revelations is lowk gut wrenching along with the scary shit LMAOO

whatever whatever updates here AFTER I get some of my work done bc goddamn, am I behind.

(12:11) so guys I totally did shit on my physics test but ngl actually kind of understanding what I was doing made me feel like god's favorite questionably gendered royalty so I think I'm gonna force myself to learn physics.

but tomorrow because I actually just spent like five hours working on pulling myself together for said test and I'm kinda dead inside. I'm going back to working on Revelations in the meantime. I'm gonna post Tweek's guide either like later or what you folk constitute as tomorrow (me personally, Tuesday is Tuesday but whatever) because I just do not have the energy to think up a chapter title at the moment. And I know I've mentioned this but y'all I am never waiting to make chapter titles again like they're just getting done as we go now. Summaries too bc FUCK THAT idk why I didn't think this would be an issue literally like THREE MONTHS AGO when these got finished god bless

(2:09) Revelations is at like 3.5k and lowk I am like DRAGGING my feet with this beginning chapter. Like, it's literally just this beginning bit I keep jumping back into my notes to write stuff from later in the fic LMFAOO

Like, I know once I get past 17 it's gonna go so fast but GODDDDD, trying to write the same things but ever so slightly different and then some different events entirely thrown in there is making my head hurt because idk like what exactly I want to include. Like, yes, we get our boys finalizing their contracts. BUT NOW WHAT. LIKE AM I FLESHING OUT THIS ENTIRE MEET UP????

DOES KENNY ACTUALLY EXPLODE AT SAID MEET UP OR AM I MAKING AN EXCUSE FOR THIS???

Bc I do kinda want everyone to see Clyde break his arm for the first time on page. (Speaking of, him and Kenny are talking in this first chapter AND THEY'RE SO FUCKING AWKWARD LIKE IT'S ACTUALLY PAINFUL LMFAOOOO)

but ugh

yk what I'm going back to reading trashy webtoons for the next few business hours bc my best ideas seem to come to me at twilight and it is 2am. LATER!

(6:15) I've decided to force myself to post guide. I swear to god I need like a calendar person to scream at me when I don't post LMAOOOO LIKE I DA WILL FORGET

(6:52) Guys I have re-fallen in love with Lost, my god.

[waitmyturtles]

SUNDAY SHOW ROUND-UP!

Goddamn -- there are so many shows! The holiday season and many life obligations are preventing me from writing meta about most of these shows except for the big priorities (my Old GMMTV Challenge project and Last Twilight). So here's a quick round-up of what I'm thinking, feeling, etc., about the dramas I have going on.

1) CHERRY MAGIC THAILAND IS DELIGHTFUL AND FULFILLING TO MY SOUL AND LIFE

I've mentioned before! I'm a HUUUUUGE Cherry Magic Japan girlie. I am a major defender of the movie, AMA. When I joined Tumblr last year, besides Old Fashion Cupcake, Cherry Magic was....I think it was the first gigantic rabbithole I fell in. I love, unabashedly, everything about this franchise, and I think TayNew are carrying it splendidly so far. (Also, the original mangaka of the whole Cherry Magic franchise, Toyota Yuu, is 100% on board with the adaptation and is regularly tweeting about it, and just! COULD THAT BE MORE CUTE AND REASSURING FOR US CM GIRLIES, NO I DON'T THINK SO, BIG HAPPY SIGHS.)

So the original manga exists in the Cherry Magic Thailand universe, huh? I'm gonna admit my unreasonable optimism to say that I am not-so-secretly hoping for a Machida Keita/Akaso Eiji/Kurosawa/Adachi cameo -- but the manga existing in this universe jags that up a bit.

BUT! Toyokawa still exists in the universe... so does that mean that Kurosawa/Adachi do, too? I'M NOT GOING THERE, BUT I AM.

ANYWAY! I noted last month that I really appreciated seeing a lot of Japan in the Cherry Magic trailer -- "Karan-san," Karan speaking Japanese, "san juu," the fact that Toyokawa is still the company that all these guys are working for. But I also love the very overt Thai visuals -- the Buddha in Achi's apartment foreground, the offering to the monk (which replaces the onigiri guy in Cherry Magic Japan, lmao) -- I'm just, covering my mouth in happiness at noting that these details are very well-placed, and very intentional.

That's it, I enjoyed every last second of this first episode in total joy of seeing this Thai remix. With X Nuttapong behind this show -- yes, oh yes, I loved seeing literally the phrase "theory of love" in the subtitles, and good on him for going there a bit.

2) An Old GMMTV Challenge update! So, I interrupted the OGMMTVC to catch up with La Pluie, because I know LP will be on a lot of best-of-2023 lists later this month.

By episode 4 or so, I knew La Pluie had to, HAD TO, go on the OGMMTVC syllabus, so on it went. And I'm going to pause on writing about it out of chronology. I'm watching Secret Crush on You (2022) now, I'll do my watchlist thing, and I'll rewatch LP.

La Pluie was a motherfucking important show.

The subversion of the romance genre in Thai BL. I mean. Give me a mallet to crack the gigantic egg on that on. @lurkingshan's La Pluie meta round-up post has been a walking stick for me as I've stumbled to get my thoughts together around this show, and honestly, I'm not ready to write about it yet. I need to finish 2022's shows on the watchlist and get through some important 2023 rewatches to fully write about La Pluie in its context, and to understand how such an important show came about this year by way of the straightforward honesty it took in dismantling and rebuilding some very key expectations that we may have carried about romance in Thai BL before its airing.

If you haven't watched La Pluie yet, do it before this year is over. DO IT. IT'S INCREDIBLE AND SO MUCH.

3) Playboyy, episode 4: I have a lot of thoughts, and no time to write about this show, but episode 4 was really different than the first three. It was CAMPY AF, way melodramatic (wtf Zooey/Soong), but it also had many more nuggets of a plot than I had expected to see by way of Nont finally revealing himself to WAY more people than I had expected. I'm sticking with it with the expectation that Cheewin will know how to get himself out of this mess, BUT, one huge criticism -- the intimacy is getting harder to watch, because it's being lazily acted and filmed (..... you had y'alls' shorts on, Prom/Nont, ahem), and it's just a lot, and can we just, like, get more to the story, I'm gonna put that in the show's request box.

Clown theory: I think Prom knows more than he's letting on and is using Nont in some bad ways to get back at those other dudes for leaving Playboyy. But I'm trying to not get invested-invested because a) still sooooo many names to remember, GOD, and b) soooo many shows airing, my brain can't take it.

4) The Sign: I'm putting this guy on pause. I heard yesterday's episode was 90 minutes, and I can't commit to a weekend show that needs that kind of time commitment. I'm following y'all in the gifs. This is no knock on BillyBabe. I REALLY LIKE THEM TOGETHER. GO SAINT, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU. But I'll watch this when there's a lull in the midseasons.

5) What Did You Eat Yesterday?: WDYEY and Last Twilight are the best shows airing right now. When a show is so good, it doesn't need meta? That's WDYEY. Nishijima’s quiet “hai” to start the conversation with Kenji’s mom? Some of the best acting in all of BL.

The amazing @isaksbestpillow threw down some clutch background about this past Friday's episode that's WELL worth reading, about chosen family and what Kenji's family was offering to Shiro. Gorgeous, screaming, crying, etc.

That's all I got, happy Sunday, y'all! The OGMMTVC will come back with SCOY when I wrap it up, hopefully soon!