#i'm just along for the ride

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Yandere (human sized) ant colony/ alien hive? Love this blog btw

Aight, so I have this issue. I had the biggest lesbian fantasy when reading this ask, and I have no idea what you want (which is not insult btw I also frequently have no idea what the fuck I want). This isn't just you, dear anon, quite a few people crawl up to me on all fours with amazing ideas, but no genders or sexual orientations. For me, that's fine, gender neutral protagonists with vaguely described genitalia getting loved on by men, women, parasitic alien life forms that reproduce asexually, are all my jams. But I feel bad assuming that you are like me, and don't care about the gender of the yandere(s).

Did you know there are ant colonies that are all female, because the Queen reproduces asexually, creating clones of herself, but there is evidence to suggest that (similarly to the lesbian lizard species) they still have sex, just because it feels good?

Let me know, what you had in mind, because if you were hoping for something else I'll start writing something for you, but I'm still going to write the lesbian ant inspired alien colony.

[ravenclawshermione]

Chapter Update! - The Will of The Green

“Hey, can we talk about something before we get back to your place?” 

Calla turned to look at me, her expression somewhere between caution and resignation, “Sure.”

“I understand why you went to Jason about… Wanting him to cross that line, if it came to it,” I said, swallowing hard, “But Cal… I don't understand why you didn’t come to me about the nightmares, or why you never told me about your fear, or why every time I've tried to see how you're doing lately you just shut me out with a vague non answer. Is it something I did, or maybe something I said? Because if there’s anything-”

“No, it’s not that,” she cut in, looking worried, her hand taking mine, “I promise Dick, it’s nothing you did wrong. It’s just… I guess I was worried that if it got out that I was a potential risk when she broke out, B might try to bench me as a preventative measure, and then you’d be put in an awkward situation. And now, I just… I didn’t want to burden you with any extra worry. I know how much you’ve got on your plate back in Bludhaven right now with the crime syndicates acting up, and the stress of having to confront B about Jason…”

I pulled her into my arms, holding her close, “You are never a burden, Calla. No matter what else is going on, no matter how crazy things get, you are never a burden, and I am always going to want to know what you’re thinking and feeling.”

A small sob escaped her lips as the tension left her body, “It’s just so hard, even looking at you two is hard, because I keep remembering that bullshit Scarecrow made me see, and I know that when I can’t beat her it'll go down exactly like that, and I’ll have to live with it because Bruce can beat the shit out of his kids but won't avenge their deaths. And I know that you and Barbs don't think it’ll come to that but I am not strong enough to beat Ivy, even trying is insane, and I'll try but there's no way I can pull this off so there’s no reason to think she wouldn’t retaliate that way, especially with how unhinged Jason said she was, and I… I’m afraid. I’m not strong enough.”

“Cal… You are one of the strongest people I know. It’s scary, I know that, but you’ve got this,” I promised, wishing she wasn’t still suited up. There were few things that could help calm her down than having her hair played with, but with her thorn wrapped braid all I could do was keep rubbing her back and talking through her fears with her, “And even if you can’t throw her off right away… Babs and I are pretty tough too. We've both gone up against literal gods. We can hold our own while you kick her out of your head, you don’t have to be so worried about hurting us.”

“I’m not worried about hurting you,” she pulled back, her tear-stained face frantic, emerald eyes pleading, begging me to understand, “I’m worried about destroying you.”

[unmellowyellowfellow]

oh mygdocnfn there's so much DIALOGUE IN THIS CHAPTER. when will my characters learn to sHUT UP

[lineffability]

hug me tender idk for WIP Wednesday!

 The bouquet wobbled out of his sight and Crowley with it. Aziraphale stood there for a moment longer without turning around, hearing Crowley bustle behind him, the snap of a miracle, water, and then he heard him whisper something that sounded disturbingly close to if you don’t bloom for him I will kill you with children’s scissors. That made him turn around, at last. 

[cangrellesteponme]

tamlin and lucien definitely explored eachother's bodies but in the most disgustingly heterosexual way

[m1smatched-starsigns]

the way that Stormfur turns into an absolute slut for Hawkfrost as soon as he returns to RiverClan, I swear--

[husband-steve-cortez]

It's so annoying how often my imaginings aren't like centered around what I think is sexy it's my oc telling me "this is what I'm into" and I'm just sitting there like "yes dear"

[demithebohemian]

Anyone else have a character who they cut from the story, only for said character to worm their way back in? 😂

[ariadne-mouse]

I know I made a comment about M9 animated series and that if there's new Essek content I'm not going to be normal about it, but if Essek actually shows up in C3 in the next bit here (if BH need to go to Aeor and M9 have found their way to the centralized allies camp with Keyleth, best tour guides would be Caleb or Essek, the chances are small but do exist) I am absolutely not going to be normal about that either. You're all in danger

[chasedeys]

joe ja’marr and tee’s entire thing with tee’s contract and agent change and possibly sounding off each other’s contracts and using each other as leverage for their extension is like when all three of them went bald in succession but on high end expensive drugs. do you get me.

[leupagus]

The thing about starting to watch 911 in its 7th season is that it's kind of like watching Game of Thrones in its 7th season, ie characters have gone through the most BONKERS FUCKING POSSIBLE character arcs that they just reference super-casually all the time. Like hey remember how Daenerys walked into blazing infernos she herself started MULTIPLE TIMES? Remember how Buck got STRUCK BY LIGHTNING AND DIED? Or that time there was a tsunami? Or that time the evil queen blew up a whole-ass cathedral?

Just, the 911 wiki must be truly insane

[s2pdoktopus]

It started as just me wanting to draw Tatsuma as a teen and evolved into... Whatever this is...

[treeofnonsense]

@dualumina

The two adhd people conversation with both constantly saying, "this is off topic" like it's okay, this is the off topic support group.

[shipyardghostman]

I see Mr. Hirsch really wants people to read The Great Gatsby

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 21

PREVIOUS

“What made you think taking on a mafia hitman was a good idea?” Andrew asks as he and FF were positioning themselves the best the could for an ambush on Romero.

Since, they APPARENTLY had time to talk.

Romero had gotten the text Andrew had sent him and INSTEAD of coming out right away to progress the whole SCHEME to kidnap and murder Andrew’s Junkie like any sensible goon Romero went to the BAR. Romero went to the Bar to get him and Jackson a round of CELEBRATORY drinks. Romero is still there at the bar waiting to be served by an INCREDIBLY nervous Roland if the number of exclamation marks and puking emojis is to be believed.

What the FUCK is there to celebrate?

These two idiots want to kidnap NEIL and so far the only thing Romero knows (thinks) that they’ve caught are two people that Neil would come for but even in Andrew’s text he’d been clear that he needed help getting ‘The boyfriend and the new friend’ to talk let alone getting them to call ‘The Wesninski Brat’ out. Andrew had hated typing the name in reference to Neil but it was the only thing the two ever referred to him as in their chats.

Is it some insane mental game that Romero thought he and Jackson were going to play on Andrew and Smith? Toasting to their torture so they’d give up Neil? Who knows.

He realizes that FF hasn’t answered him, his eyes focused on the door when Andrew’s thoughts had drifted. A reliable guy, steady in a pinch, and focused like most the others weren’t.

(Andrew does not know that FF is thinking about how one would go about becoming a Mafia Hitman. What is that career path like? Do they show up at job fairs? Do you get a job as a short order cook at a business that acts as a front and see to much but you’re also the only one that knows the secret spaghetti recipe the boss likes so you have to sign yourself to the family? Are you out doing your own freelance crime and someone higher up sees your work one day and literally head hunts you? Is it like in Saw where you survive an ordeal and then-)

“Smith?” Andrew draws FF’s attention away from the door.

“I didn’t think it was a good idea at any point.” FF says and Andrew is surprised by the admission and is more surprised by the twist of FF’s lips into a frown, “I just did what I thought I needed to do.” He adds.

(Andrew does not know that the twist of FF’s lips has more to do with the fact that he is realizing that Romero likely STILL has not washed his hands. Romero hasn’t washed his hands and he is going to hand Jackson a DRINK with those hands. Ugh. Honestly a contract killer AND someone who doesn’t wash his hands? Who RAISED him? What does his grandma think of this? FF hopes she’s disappointed in him.)

“You thought you needed to lure a hitman into an alley?” Andrew asks because the plan is stupid even if so far it has worked out for FF. The fact that Romero hadn’t just come out when he sent Jackson the signal is only due to FF’s good luck and their stupidity.

“I didn’t have a lot of time to think up anything more than the first plan I thought of. I saw him looking at Nicky on the dance floor.” FF says with another twist of his lips as he self-consciously rubbed at his cheek. It’s never fun to have someone who has time to pick apart a plan that you barely had time to form. Andrew can understand the irritation and is glad that FF isn’t lashing out at him for it.

(Andrew does not know that FF is not irritated he is just remembering that he had held up his broken toilet bowl phone to his face to pretend call Captain Neil. He’s contemplating asking if Andrew maybe possibly has a wet wipe? Actually the murder van probably has bleach to clean up evidence, maybe he can just dip his face in there for like a minute.)

“Don’t use a plan where you martyr yourself. I already have to deal with Neil’s bullshit tendencies.” Andrew says instead of thanking him. “You should have just called me.” He says.

FF just holds up his phone, “Dropped into a club toilet. Completely unusable.” He says and yeah that makes sense. FF would have probably just texted Andrew but coming out and seeing a hitman going after Nicky probably made it impossible for the freshman to go get help without drawing all the attention to himself first if he wanted to make sure Nicky stayed safe.

Still.

“You dropped it into a toilet? You haven’t even had anything tonight.” He says because that clumsiness is not something he expects from FF.

“You try taking a pee next to someone on the FBI’s most wanted list and see how dry your palms remain when he’s talking about grabbing one of Captain Neil’s friends to lure him out.” He says with a brow raised.

That’s fair.

He figures that Romero hadn’t even noticed FF standing there. FF was incredibly good at just making himself unnoticeable (to Andrew’s occasional great annoyance and to Kevin’s great desire to study him for Exy related purposes).

“You recognized him?” He asks.

FF’s gaze slides to him, “I looked up a lot about the Foxes after I signed.” FF answers before his gaze slides back to the door. Roland had just texted Andrew that he’s getting Romero’s drinks ready (Two bud lites. Those are the celebratory drinks he waited for?? Embarrassing.) “I really looked up to Captain Neil. So, I read a lot more about him than anyone else.” FF admits but the fact that FF looked up to Neil was not in any way shape or form a secret.

FF was the only one who was ALWAYS paying attention to whatever Neil was saying and never argued with it. Even Andrew tended to just get lost in the sound of Neil’s voice when he’s going over Exy plays and not actually listen to the plan. FF’s eyes were always right on Neil and his actions on the court showed that he had been paying attention and knew what he was doing. Kevin also listened but he tended to fight Neil on the finer details of plays, strategy or anything else. FF was the one who would just nod and do his part in whatever possible play Neil had broken down for them.

FF was also categorically incapable of referring to Neil as anything other than Captain Neil.

Neil had bristled early on at it. He had thought it was a mocking title, something FF was saying to rile him up because that’s what Freshman Foxes did. That’s what Freshman Foxes always do. FF slid into the team without a whisper of rebellion and it hadn’t taken long to realize that FF was using the title with sincerity even if his monotone did not perfectly convey that.

It’d been that sincerity and that ease that had FF be the only option he’d considered when Bee said he should consider expanding his friend pool.

So if FF looked a little deeper into Neil’s past and sees Neil’s part in it as something to respect, something to admire?

Well, he personally thought he always had great taste in people. (He ignores the voice in his head that sounds like Nicky complaining about Kevin still not knowing German despite it being the family language.)

“You sure you don’t want one of my knives or the knife Jackson had?” It was pretty big and Andrew didn’t think it would work well with his general style but maybe FF could use it somehow. He was uneasy that FF was going into this fight unarmed. FF still hadn’t talked about how he’d taken out Jackson when the man had a knife like that.

“Do I look like Crocodile Dundee to you?” FF asks with a raised eyebrow and Andrew has to pause a moment for the movie to load into his brain before he offers an amused quirk of his own lips.

FF is a funny guy.

His phone dings. “He’s on his way.”

***

Aside from thinking about how nice the conversation he was having with his friend Andrew (his friend! His friend Andrew! God how is he going to admit to Gran that Andrew was never planning on stabbing him? She threatened to come over and square off with the ‘mean young man’ bullying him. He’s gotta go grab the makings for a secondary pie to even start to make up for this. Maybe Andrew would prefer a cobbler? He should ask his friend his preferences.) he was thinking about how he really wished they hadn’t had a cut away from Gracie Hart showing all the various forms of self defense she knows in the movie.

He had no idea if he could do a repeat performance of S.I.N.G. with Romero.

It’d be nice to have a few more things in his repertoire because all he has is striking Romero with the heel of his hand in the nose, getting grabbed from behind to throw him over his shoulder (which what if Romero is shorter than him? How will THAT work. Gracie Hart guide my steps!), and of course S.I.N.G.

If he survives this he might write a letter to the writer.

The door opens and honestly FF and Andrew agreed that surprise and speed were going to be their best weapons. The two of them go in for a full body tackle but Romero must just be a higher class goon than Jackson was since he manages to body them away. The door shuts which is mostly what they wanted anyways. Romero can’t go back in and grab someone to use as a shield.

He sees Andrew pull out his knives and now FF realizes that any level of threatening Andrew had done before must have mostly been in jest or just as intimidation. When Andrew wants to stab someone it’s obvious that he’s aiming to stab them.

Romero manages to parry Andrew’s first stab with a move that FF had seen on the ‘how to handle someone coming at you with a knife’ videos. FF sees Romero go in to bash one of the Bud Lite bottles over Andrew’s head so he launches his water bottle at Romero’s hand. The bottle falls and shatters harmlessly on the ground.

He kicks Romero’s other hand since the water bottle bought him time to get close. “You fucking brat!” Romero hisses.

He sees Romero reaching for something at the same time Andrew is going in for the second round of stabbing. Romero dodges out of the way but FF can see what might actually for real be an entire gun concealed in his jacket.

He can see Romero going for it. Sees the same smile on his face he’d seen inside as his hand wraps around the handle.

FF doesn’t think.

FF doesn’t think because if he does he’ll freeze.

So FF acts.

“Gun!” He yells and runs full force tackling Romero as hard as he can but unfortunately he tackles Romero into Andrew.

The three of them grapple on the ground. It’s hard to keep track of what limb is who’s and he’s pretty sure he’s accidentally hit Andrew a few times instead of Romero but he’s also pretty sure that Andrew punched him in the stomach so he thinks they’re equal. Finally FF gets a hand on the gun that Romero had been trying to get the safety off of and he knocks it out of Romero’s hand. “You kids will-“

Romero doesn’t get to say anything else because Andrew manages to land a punch right to his jaw that has Romero go limp under the two of them. They look at one another and Andrew manages to pull the handcuffs they’d purloined out of the Van while they were waiting off of the belt loop they were hooked onto and gets them around Romero’s wrists.

They stare down at the second unconscious man on the FBI’s most wanted list in the alley.

Then they roll off of him and onto their backs. Both of them wheezing from a combination of exertion, adrenaline, and (at least in FF’s case) a fair amount of pain (Christ Andrew packs a PUNCH his stomach is already sensitive. It’s a miracle that punch hadn’t made him puke.)

“That was…so stupid.” Andrew pants.

“Yeah probably.” FF admits.

They lay there for about a minute and FF thinks that maybe someone will need to carry him because his stomach is KILLING HIM with all this.

“Alright let’s-“

Andrew is sitting up and looking at him when he stops talking.

FF doesn’t really know what the issue is but starts to sit up, “Don’t you DARE.” Andrew hisses and FF finds himself being pushed back down to the ground to lay flat. “Don’t move Smith.” He demands and is pulling his phone out of his pocket as he keeps a hand on FF’s shoulder.

FF doesn’t really understand what’s got Andrew so upset all the sudden. “Andrew, what’s-“ he tries to sit up again. Is there a third person and Andrew wants him to keep down? There’s not really cover here they should move towards the dumpster maybe?

“Smith, I told you to not move.” Andrew hisses before whoever he’s calling seems to pick up. “I need police and an ambulance. We’re at Eden’s Twilight in the back alley.” He looks to FF, “What’s your blood type?” He asks.

FF has NO idea.

“I don’t know.” He answers and Andrew makes a disgusted sound. “Andrew, what’s-“

Then he sees it.

He doesn’t quite get how he missed it before now.

“Huh.” He hears himself say.

That’s Andrew’s knife handle sticking out of his stomach.

It appears that Andrew Minyard may have stabbed him in the stomach.

“Well, that’s about what I expected.” He says and lets his head rest against the pavement.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees  @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds​ @thesenseinnonsense​ @let-tyrants-fear​ @ketchupfriesandallthingsnice​ @legowerewolf​ @deadlydodos​ @but-we-respect-his-craft​ @cariniqe​ @zanypersonapricotbiscuit​ @lesbian-blackbeard​ @lesbiansupernatural​ @silvermasquerade​ @thepeachfuzz​ @minniemariex @kazoo-the-demjin​

The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

[thistaletasty]

Ohhhhh, I can't wait for the results.

Last night I dreamed I baked banana bread.

But not just any banana bread.

I dreamed that I made the banana bread like normal. But then!

Then I thinned some peanut butter with milk (????) and melted some chocolate and thinned that with milk, too, and then put them into separate baggies, and put those baggies into a third baggie so their corners were all aligned. I cut the overlapping corner to make a squeezy bag like for frosting where they would both come out together but not mixed, and then I dipped the tip of it into the banana bread batter and swirled peanut butter and chocolate into it.

THEN I baked it.

I explained my dream to my neighbor and she gave me bananas and told me to make my dreams come true. So. I'm gonna try it tomorrow.