#i'm in a pyramid scheme it seems

[clouds-of-wings]

After renovating comes the populating furnishing of a room. I tried to move my desk into it. It's too heavy, even after disassembly. I'll get some help tomorrow. And there was so much stuff in there. Every time I opened a drawer, 3 more copies of Les Fleurs du Mal fell out. My copies of both versions, plus I bought some extra copies (twice) after the price in the band's store dropped to net-cost because I figured they'd make nice gifts for the right people. A part of music history! That's how I see it anyway. There are so many interesting things about this album, even apart from the music itself. And these copies of it are signed! Special!

Unfortunately the people I know are PLEBS who wouldn't appreciate it. I know exactly 1 other Therion fan and he probably has the CD already, plus he (and his girlfriend) might have questions if I suddenly give him a CD full of romantic-sounding French songs..? I considered my ex-cello teacher but he's a huge snob who hates all non-acoustic music. So I sit here in an ocean of LFdM CDs. I'll probably sell them on eBay eventually... unless I make some cooler friends first.

[medicinemane]

One the subject though of ghostwriting, or reviews, or any kind of online freelance work like that, please do me a favor and double check it's actually worth it

Like my mom did book reviews and she'd me like $20 a review, or maybe even $50... but they expected her to read the whole book, write a synopsis no one but the company would read to prove she read it, then write a review

The higher money stuff like the $50, would often be for like 1000 page books, and so you have to read that in 5 hours just to be making $10 an hour not even counting any of the review time

A lot of these jobs focus on siphoning labor away from actually productive people, and giving them what often amounts to a couple dollars an hour, or even cents and hour

So like, if you don't have a choice I get it, I'm not judging here. I just don't think anyone deserves to have their labor basically stolen, and a lot of these companies feel purposefully structured in a way where people will end up being paid less then minimum wage, but cause it's freelance that doesn't matter

Just really hate this stuff

[codemiracle]

Can you please tell me the backstory of the ocs...they are so gorgeous omg...thank u !!!...

My first ask... omg....!! (tries to seem calm about it) Thank u for asking!!! I'm glad you like them :((<3 The backstory of my ocs is still mostly a wip even to me (i change my mind often about things, especially when my mind fixates on different topics) But I can tell you more about the two ocs in this post here. tw: mentions of death, stalking, unhealthy behavior, dark stuff overall, and mentions of self-harm on Yuuta's part. (All of the images used here are CGs for the game.)

Yuuta is a deeply troubled person. His mother died when he was very young and he's been dealing with the loss of literally his only parental figure since (his father is literally the leader of a pyramid scheme cult and doesn't know about his existence) He despises how fragile humans can be and since then he tries to understand his own mortality through inflicting pain upon his own body. His mother died due to an illness he also has, an illness that causes parts of his body to suddenly get badly bruised or bleed without warning, his blood is really thin so stopping bleeding is hard for him too. He eventually finds some escape from his solitude exploring his darker side by meeting the MC (the character you control in the game) He gets deeply obsessed with them since he finds that inflicting pain on them (don't worry it's all consensual) is more relieving than doing it to himself. He loves the feeling of power it gives him, the feeling of a life hanging in between his fingers. And this time he won't let go so easily. He might be a little bit of a sharp-tongued person and sometimes can seem pretty harsh with people and even the MC, but it's due to the fear of losing someone again. When he really really gets into you he won't let you go, that's for sure. He can't let go of someone again.

Yotsuya it's quite the opposite of Yuuta, he doesn't hide his true feelings behind a mask of hatred and coldness, instead, he's a more shy but polite person, much more pleasant to be around tbh. But don't let that fool you. He has his own inner turmoil too. He's been following the MC for a while now (for unknown reasons) and seems pretty fixated on them, taking the same train as them after work, trying to make small talk as they bump into each other in conveniently the same places. He's always stressed from work, often you can find him just crying outside his workplace while he smokes (like in the drawing) or standing eerily quiet in the dark of night in the middle of the street. Not much is now about Yotsuya, but the fact he truly despises cheaters, often making remarks about cheating culture and hating on people who cheat on their partners. He seems to know the MC from somewhere else but refuses to say where they met the first time. Doesn't seem to have any connections or family, living alone in some simple apartment. I can't tell you much about him because I want you to discover who the "True" Yotsuya is (that's the point of his route.) But I can tell you, this guy isn't anything like it seems, he's quite the opposite of his sweet and shy persona when he's inside his home. That's his place, his playing field so to speak. He's no longer the meek office worker, but his true self.

Sorry, that was so much text.... and I feel like I didn't say anything interesting... feel free to ask if you need to know anything else!

<3

[barbwritesstuff]

After playing the Thicker Than demo I can't help picturing the newly titled Blackwell still learning to navigate vampire politics asking the LI

"Okay I know I'm still new to this whole undead thing, so I may be off base here, but from what I've seen of the Night Court and how things run. It's sounding more like the entire thing is just a really old Pyramid scheme. Is that just me or have others noticed it too?"

Tracy: "That's an unfair comparison to make. Most pyramid schemes are fairer than this shit-fucking-show."

Marcel: "Don't say the word 'pyramid' around here. I'm worried the king might decide to bring those back into fashion."

Erin: "Yeah. It's a pyramid alright, and it's about time we flipped it."

Nathan: "It's not a pyramid. It's a pit. And the deeper you go, the darker it gets."

Iliya: "да. But, on plus side, the parties are good."

Ravima: "Vampire societies might seem momentous... but even the grandest structure will crumble and fall. My advice? Stand back and enjoy the view. The collapse of an undead dynasty is a show most people have to wait millennia to see. You and I, darling? We've got front row seats."

(Freya, Minjo, and Chris were excluded from this because they're not part of vampire society... even a little bit).

[jodeliejodelie]

My utterly correct and well-researched predictions for The Sims 5

no research has actually be done by me at all

EA will make the game a monthly subscription "service" which always needs to be online. There will of course be multiple subscription tiers with the higher tiers receiving some utterly mediocre clothes, hairs, furniture, Sims, you name it, paying lipservice to causes like diversity to make them seem important and un-missable (farm that FOMO). Lower tiers will have ads, a limited number of allowed mods/cc, and reduced graphics or some shit.

And of course there will be expansion packs, a staple of The Sims franchise, but you will need to pay for those too. Unless you subscribe to the platinum+ package, which includes a season pass. Of course there will always be certain cc packs that everybody will have to pay for, such as collaborations with big brands like D*sney, big fashion houses or IK*A. Occasionally there will be a freebie, but it will be a shitty print on a basegame T-shirt nobody cares for.

But that's not all! Not only will there be subscriptions, o no, there will be an ever bigger affiliate system. Basically an inbuilt multi-level management system (pyramid scheme) where people can sell their own mods/cc and recruit other people into their downline and make money of the mods they sell. They will give it a cutesy name, like Mod Families, Creator Visionaries, or Simgineers. There will be so many *shitty* mods, but since EA sits at the very top of the pyramid, there is absolutely no desire for quality control. You will see the same hair, with some added strands/removed strands/shorted/streaked/etc. edits over and over again. Of course there will be major fights and drama when the two biggest teams asset flip/convert create the same thing (some uninspired Second Life high poly blouse or something).

Anyway, I'm having a business meeting with EA next week and I'm very excited to share this plan with them.

P.S. Other features:

Extra in game currency like diamonds that people can use to buy even more junk for the game

Limit mods/cc to the Hub, you can't just put things in folders, it won't work

Sponsored events in the game, like a Simlish concert of K*ty P*rry or a Ad*das pop-up store in the mall

More social media integrations

An additional app for mobile devices where you play with your sims in a very limited way, but most importantly earn in game currency by doing stupid tasks, like playing games or watching ads

No pools in the basegame, that was a A+ decision in The Sims 4, so we're keeping that

[thefirstknife]

Finished my replay of lightfall earlier & had a thought

Is there a specific reason Calus got a custom made ship, not a pyramid? As far as I know all the other disciples were given a pyramid, though I'm pretty sure we only know of two?

I imagined it was to keep up his decisions of grandeur, to make him feel as if he's as important as he believed himself to be despite just being another pawn

Yeah I believe it is that reason as well. The Witness did not really have a high opinion of him overall and basically needed to use him because it didn't have an alternative at the time so manipulating him with stuff like that before beating him down into a full pawn seems like something it would do.

Another option is that other disciples also started with their own versions and only got the Pyramid ships the longer they've stayed disciples, kinda like eventually morphing into this form of a disciple the longer they stay under the Witness, losing their sense of self, only retaining some little bits and pieces the more time passed.

It is also possible that having a Pyramid ship is rare for disciples, as we only know about Rhulk and Nezarec with their Pyramids so maybe they were the outliers for whatever reason. We don't know how many disciples there were in total and how many Pyramid ships might've been given to them so it's super hard to tell. But I feel like for Calus it was more likely to be a scheme from the Witness to make Calus as manipulated and compliant as possible to let him have something special.

I like to call it "flat Leviathan":

[y-rhywbeth2]

My trip to Baldur's Gate: Vampire the Masquerade AUs has haunted me all day.

-

The Dead Three aren't going to translate neatly and should probably be split into different characters covering different aspects of the originals. The Clan of Death is the neatest fit for them overall, but they don't all fit. The Giovanni fit Bhaal best (the Endless Night is basically his ideal, then there's the family money, the fucked up family shit). The scholarly bent of the Cappadocians with the aesthetic of the Harbingers of Skull is Myrkul and followers. Myrkul and Bhaal are too tied to death and undeath, if you take them out of here you lose something. Bane, frankly, is Ventrue with a splash of Lasombra; which does take us out of the box and the succession thing. Luckily their antediluvian is dead as hell as far as anyone can tell, so that's free real estate.

Withers is a fragment of Cappadocius; 'retired' and his one church/clan split in three (they might be pawns though god knows who of); mostly forgotten in the modern nights; seems benign on the surface and then you look closer and he's the world's least trustworthy motherfucker. Jergal has never schemed to eat Ao's soul as far as I know, but I sure wouldn't put anything past him.

Failing that he's the Capuchin... assuming those two are so unrelated, although I'm pretty sure the Capuchin is Lazarus.

-

Haarlep is hosting the succubus club. I will overlook how much it annoys be that 5e stopped the succubus being strictly tanar'ri for the bit.

-

Durge: Extremely low generation Giovanni neonate... or Baali, if you want to go ultimate edgelord. Enjoys the principle of Taboo in their necromancy work too much.

Gale: Has an Oblivion-tainted chunk of Mr 'I Can Totally Eat God's Soul and Replace Him' in his chest, so Cappadocian, I guess. Formerly awakened, but he ignored his avatar when it warned him not to touch The Thing and here we are.

Astarion: World's Worst Tremere Wants Dark Thaumaturgy. So he doesn't have to actually study hermetic mysticism to get the rewards of blood sorcery. And also to be free of the pyramid. Cazador should not be a regent, but alas, he won his certamen against Velioth. And also diablerised him. And made a pact with an Archduke of Hell.

Shadowheart: Setite by faith, Lasombra Abyss Mystic by lineage. Is actually kinfolk to the Children of Gaia, but she neither knows that nor would it help her to know that in any way.

Karlach: Abandoned Gangrel fledgling is taken in by Kind Older Vampire who is Going to Show Her the Ropes and Definitely Not Scheming; This is heart-warming and definitely not going to be tragic. (The horns and tail are permanent frenzy mutations).

Wyll: I got Toreador vibes over here. He's got an insanely high humanity rating, but Mizora's a diabolist and Wyll's caught in the net. Haven't decided whether Mizora or, if I stretch, Ulder is his sire. It's probably Mizora.

Lae'zel: Still thinking on that one, but I do get Sabbat crusader vibes. Ventrue antitribu? I think that fits. She's had heavy modification from a deceased Tzimisce pack mate.

[helluvatired]

talking about the seven deadly sins of the hellaverse

i really hope that the other deadly sins who have not yet appeared are horrible people or even worse than mammon

don't get me wrong, i loved the fact that asmodeus is consent king (it made my week when i saw it for the first time, i felt so happy!) and it was a nice surprise to know that beelzebub is friendly and cared about blitzo's well-being and appears to have no prejudice against imps and hellhounds. and lucifer just wanted to give knowledge and free will to humans and now he's working hard to be a good father

it's a great storytelling, and it makes me want to know more about the characters' pasts.

like for example, were asmodeus and beelzebub wronged in the same way as lucifer for questioning or did they actually fucked up a bit? why don't the three not explicitly appear to be the embodiment of a *sin* like mammon? they were always like this and what heaven was corrupt and unfair and distorted what really happened? have they always been open-minded with hellborns or has that changed over time? why?

i really hope that many of these questions are answered later in one of the series, it has a lot of potential and would make the characters deeper!

and now about mammon and the other sins who have not yet appeared:

i think it would be cool for the other sins to be horrible and really powerful, as a major threat

in both helluva and hazbin there are characters who are not at the top of the hierarchy and can be intimidating and change this pyramid a little, like striker and carmilla with the angelic weapons, moxxie's father's plan in s02ep06

alastor uses emotional manipulation tactics with people he knows are more powerful than him, that's how he got the deal with charlie and managed to get on lucifer's nerve in hell's greatest dad

and the whole scheme that valentino managed to do with angel to the point where he was afraid that charlie could be hurt and kicked her out of the studio (this actually deserves a post just about it in the future)

and all of this is incredible and very well done! there are other ways to be in control and have power

but i miss characters who are a threat as much as power and emotional, someone at the top of the hierarchy, at least in the hierarchy of hell

like how exorcists were feared before they discovered their weakness, or those angels that lucifer is afraid of because of what they could do to charlie in more than anything.

it makes it seem like a threat because we don't know how powerful this character is, we don't know their limits, we don't know what could happen

i think that having these two types of antagonists (those who are at the top of the hierarchy and those who can be a threat even though they are not at the top) makes the series much deeper and more complete

i'm curious about mammon's plan and i hope he's planning big things too

i also think it is more believable to also have more powerful beings who have fallen because they are genuinely bad people, and not just the sinners, overlords and hellborns who can be evil. just like in heaven there are bad people and good people

i also don't think there's a way to have a good trait in wrath and envy lol

we already have 3 sins that are not evil, and one as an antagonist, so i think it would be cool to have more villains/antagonists to be more balanced and believable

and since seven is an odd number, maybe the sin of sloth could be totally neutral, are they just too lazy to choose sides? that would be cool and funny i think xD

anyway, that's all i had to say. if anyone made it to the end, thank you for reading! c:

[fresh-orange-whispers]

Some thoughts

As a semi-amateur writer writing purely for fun and relaxation, I'm not convinced I'll ever be able to write a GOOD Maul x Qi'ra fic, and I'm not surprised at the scarcity of their content on any platform - they seem too official and too difficult to capture the right ambience and tension.

I generally don't like the male boss x female subordinate type of ship. For what? Because it reminds me of the unspoken rules of the workplace - having an affair with your boss so you can climb to the top of the pyramid - but Qi'ra is different. She climbed onto the roof through her own growth and skill, to get to work directly with Maul. Crimson Dawn served as her safe harbor and provided her with abundant resources. Maul later taught her a lot, seemed to trust her more, and she was able to assume leadership of Crimson Dawn after his death.

Maul was not that type of boss who took sexual advantage of his subordinates. He was more interested in their ability to carry out his plans. The dread that Qi'ra had in her eyes at the end of Solo may translate into fear of unknown risks and dangers to execute more missions with Maul, not because she was afraid of being sexually exploited by him.

Often, this type of ship is rarely written because it tests the author's screenwriting abilities. Canon left a lot of room for these two, but the remaining space requires strong logic and good writing skills to fill. Spending time researching and thinking about plots is also important to make such fics stand out.

Personally, I really like the growing sexual tension and intimacy between Maul and Qi'ra as they worked together. They were like a power couple, both intelligent and assertive. It was compelling that they schemed plans to bring down Sidious and the Sith - an interesting aspect to explore - and they grew closer to each other, day by day. She was beautiful, had all the qualities he appreciated and he was not unattractive to her, but he remained indifferent, as he always had. In the end, the sexual tension between them reached its upper limit like a fully drawn bow, it broke down and they fucked fiercely. He was capable of tenderness as well as violence while she savored every moment of his virility. But they still resumed hard work as partners in crime, not affected by this deeper connection in their relationship.

And I have absolutely no problem with Maul being bisected - I even think that being cut in half at the waist was creative and added more romanticism to this character. I believe, in the SW universe, worldview, technology and magic, Maul was well endowed with a mechanical lower body, equipped with all the sensations and synthetic organs he deserved. He could still flip, kick, fight, walk, run, jump and fuck. Zabraks have two hearts and their physiological anatomy may also be different from humans. Or, let's put it this way: the lumbar vertebrae were exposed after being cut in half, right? Wouldn't it be easier to function if the mechanical lower body was directly connected to his spinal cord? Hmmm I'm going too far.

Yes, I love the many possibilities it offers!

[sleepsonclouds]

Clouds tropespots: The Spirealm, E11

Episode 11 (reality)

This far, I've numbered the doors according to how many door worlds we've seen in the series. However, that doesn't follow everyone's personal "door count", because the level of the door matters as well. Sometimes it's possible to skip or re-do levels. (The drum sisters door actually counts as Lin Qiushi's 5th door.) Door world logic, what can you do?

For now, we get a break from doors and many discussions in which nothing and no one is straight.

Keeping watch over injured partner: Qiushi wakes up after getting a concussion in the drum door. Nanzhu is sitting on his bed, watching him very, very closely - you can see from his eyes when Qiushi wakes up. He seems to sense this earlier than Qiushi himself. How long has Nanzhu been watching over him, exactly?

Concern over partner's health: Now Nanzhu treats Qiushi as the Sickly Victorian Heroine, being all "health is most important" and "I'll postpone all my plans for you, none of that matters". Where is the cold-hearted boss of Obsidian? Nanzhu's "Your injury was unexpected" just sounds like he's been worried sick. And he doesn't forget to tell Qiushi to rest well and pat his thigh… on top of the covers, so it doesn't count. Right.

The Parent Discussion: Nanzhu brings up Qiushi's parents - how's he going to explain… everything? Qiushi (looking down, distracting himself with the cat): "No need. We're not that close." He says it so casually that something's definitely off. At least Nanzhu doesn't have to meet the relatives. (Would that be a disaster or a success? Would crossdressing help or hinder? I'm getting distracted by Ruan Baijie. Send help.)

Meeting the best friend: Wu Qi insists on visiting Obsidian to see Qiushi isn't involved in anything shady. Cough. Everyone does their best to act super shady… until Nanzhu shows up. Wu Qi's FACE! He's the best! Nanzhu's all business, cold and collected. He wipes his hands after greeting Wu Qi, but that doesn't stop Wu Qi's beaming. After all, he just met the hot boss who introduced himself as Qiushi's friend and promised to take good care of him! +100 approval. Wu Qi, you have a type.

Everyone thinks we're together: Wu Qi's suspicions - or convictions - shift. "I believe you aren't doing a pyramid scheme here", says he, sounding very much like "I know you're doing the boss instead". The unbelievably handsome boss, he doesn't forget to add. Wu Qi is such a delight! He gets plenty of lines to guide the viewer to NSWF conclusions (re: bondage discussion). Nice tactic.

Everyone expects jealousy: Everyone acts like Nanzhu and Qiushi are together. So when Nanzhu starts to spend a lot of time taking a newbie through the doors, people keep checking in on Qiushi. Even Cheng Qianli asks whether he's jealous or upset! And he refuses to believe Qiushi's not bothered! (Generally a good principle: do not believe Qiushi who is "fine".) But even better - Nanzhu feels the need to reassure Qiushi! "Hang in there", he says, promising it won't take long. Everyone's so considerate of Qiushi's feelings, I'm touched.

Boop: Nanzhu also feels the need to touch. I simply must record every instance of Nanzhu poking Qiushi's forehead, because how cute is that? He does it so fondly, too.

Noodles of love (variant): Qiushi regularly cooks for everyone at Obsidian (besides Nanzhu, specifically). Glad to see he's taking care of the family.

Crossdressing comedy of errors: Li Dongyan calls Nanzhu to curse him, because Nanzhu drove away the spy Dongyan sent to find Baijie. (Who's really at fault here?) It's all too easy for Nanzhu to invoke Baijie's presence - suddenly Li Dongyan is at his best behaviour, professing his love. Nanzhu: "Baijie doesn't like men who talk too much. Bye." It's fascinating to hear him talk about himself/herself in the third person like this. Actually, it's a very nice way to let Nanzhu make statements about what he likes in men! Well done, clever little adaptation.

Crossdressing (serious): Qiushi's amused, which suddenly makes Nanzhu serious: "So what? Isn't Baijie good?" (I spy a hint of "am I not good enough" here.) Qiushi admits easily that Baijie's good… only to trigger the drama sprite! "Who is better, Baijie or me?" asks Nanzhu, gravely. He might as well ask do you prefer men or women. Qiushi, at his oblivious best, gets it right: "But you are the same person." Nanzhu is always equally awesome! Also, Linlin's statement kind of implies that Baijie's preferences = Nanzhu's preferences.

Approval from the family: Chen Fei, totally not deflecting questions: "Ruan-ge is lucky to meet a newcomer like you." Chen Fei's seal of approval! I really like Chen Fei. A couple of lingering shots also suggest that he might have more of an interest in Nanzhu than he lets on.

Jealousy (real): Qiushi and Nanzhu meet Zaozao in the real world. She's awfully friendly, calls Qiushi cute and even tries to hire him as her assistant! This is Not On. When she gets to asking about Qiushi's hobbies, Nanzhu's expression grows more and more sinister. "No need to ask so many questions," he cuts her off. It's "unnecessary" for her to know Linlin any better.

Plot item of significance: The bracelets! Nanzhu, again in a gift-giving mood, gives Qiushi a bracelet that enables them to enter the same door, wherever they are. It's only practical, like all his surely-not-romantic gifts.

Crossdressing comedy of errors (cont.): Nanzhu informs Li Dongyan that "Baijie adores competent men". I'm sure that's true. Let's see how long it takes for Linlin to show his competence again… Nanzhu has also, apparently, called Li Dongyan as Baijie and cursed the hell out of him. Unfortunately, that's his kink. "What an attractive tyrant", comments Qiushi, making me nearly choke on my tea.

Discussing being single: "No wonder Li Dongyan is still single", says Nanzhu, pissed off. Cheng Qianli observes that Nanzhu's single, too… At which point everyone scatters, leaving him alone with Qiushi. Nanzhu might have Some Kind of Feeling about this. "Is it funny?" he asks, sounding like he finds it remarkably unfunny. Qiushi, bless him, actually thinks about it and tries to make him feel better: Nanzhu's not unable to get a girlfriend, he just doesn't want one (hint hint). Surprising insight from Linlin! Perhaps the fact that Nanzhu has been hitting on him since episode one has enlighted him a bit.

Stop being tragic, get a boyfriend: Nanzhu isn't done: "Are you single because you choose so?" Qiushi looks like he's trying to solve a math problem. "Can't think of an answer?" guesses Nanzhu. Qiushi, again, blames work and all non-girlfriend-shaped things. Nanzhu's managed to turn this discussion around completely. "You're in your twenties, but you haven't had a girlfriend", he says. It's tragic! But not to worry. If Qiushi can't find a grilfriend, he can always find something else. Qiushi: "Like a cat?" What is this show, what is this discussion? Nanzhu's smoldering look and the subsequent eyeroll are perfection. "And to think why you're single", says he like a man who finds himself inferior to felines.

They're preparing for the next door, which is apparently about mental fortitude. Mine is zero when it comes to anything resembling Japanese horror. Perhaps third time's the charm and I'll actually manage to watch all of it. Next up is episode -> 12.

[genericnam]

I haven't made a character study in ages, so I think I'm gonna do that and more, by discussing every single villain from my favorite piece of Anime/TV show in general: Digimon Adventure (01)

This is going to be pretty long, so look under the cut.

Digimon Adventure is a flawed show with relatively choppy, repetitive animation, too short fight scenes, and a generally poor soundtrack inn the Dub (looking at you, Hey Digimon!), but I adore it for the characters and story. Digimon tells a tale of trauma, hope, the effects of loss and grief on children, and what it means to be brave, and the villains that push the plot forward and reflect all of this are some of my favorite villains and characters of all time. So I'm going to break them down now, in mostly chronological order (I'll be using Dub names and info since that what I grew up on and have always used, sorry if that offends you for some reason)

Villain number 1: Ogremon

Ogremon appears pretty early in the first arc as a recurring enemy and baddy. He serves as the rival and foil to the character of Leomon. Leomon gets hyped up by the main characters as the strongest active good guy on File Island, and if Ogremon is his equal, that makes Ogremon automatically intimidating.

However, Ogremon is dumb. He's easy to trick, and not too strategic, but he is full of willpower and fighting spirit, allowing him to tail the Digidestined across the entire island pretty ceaselessly. But that isn't for no reason, as Ogremon begins to work for someone pretty quick into his introduction... Devimon.

What makes Devimon intimidating is his sheer presence, the respect he demands. The entire arc up until his introduction, every foe they battled (other than Ogremon), had been animalistic, or a good person at heart. Devimon himself is pure evil, he has no redeeming qualities, no light in his soul or kindness in his heart.

Devimon uses his Black Gears and Hand of Evil to brainwash and torture countless digimon across File Island, and his gears are so spread through the island that he can control the very land itself.

Unlike Ogremon, who is gullible and somewhat cowardly, Devimon is a cunning monster. Devimon tricks and manipulates the Digitdestined, brainwashes Leomon twice, and easily beats all of their Digimon when they finally fight him.

The only reason Devimon lost is because of the way Angemon fights. As revealed in 02, the Hand of Fate's power increases the more evil your opponent is, and Devimon is just so pure evil that it was a oneshot.

While Ogremon was there as a brute force enemy, Devimon is the first of many insurmountable terrors that really shows the Digidestined how small they really are in the grand scheme of things...

Moving on to one of my favorite characters of all time, and the second arc villain: Etemon!

Etemon is goofy, that much is never hidden. He's a monkey that does an Elvis impression and rides around in a trailer performing music for his bumbling minions, but Etemon serves as a lesson that not every dangerous foe is so obviously dangerous. Etemon has a monopoly of the Desert of Server thanks to his Dark Network.

The Digital World uses a lot of crossovers from the real internet, and the Dark Network seems to be an embodiment of THE Dark Web. And Etemon controls it. The Dark Network allows Etemon to see just about anywhere and to take away the power that the Digidestined rely upon to survive: their digivolution.

Etemon is seemingly average on his own, but his true power comes in his coordination. Etemon's army is spread out, but it is powerful, and he can arrive just about anywhere with great speed thanks to how he sees everything there is to see. Piximon's hidden forest is the only place Etemon doesn't really have eyes.

Etemon serves as the mirror foil to Tai. While Tai is the Digidestined of Courage, Etemon represents hubris and arrogance. This leads Etemon to push a lot of Tai's character arc into place.

Now, once the Digidestined infiltrate Etemon's pyramid and get tricked by Datamon, Etemon shows up, and all seems lost. Datamon was the only digimon who was even close to Etemon's level, and he goes down pretty quick, but it's what Datamon does that really gives Etemon all of his best clout. Datamon fills the Dark Network with viruses that will make it destroy and consume everything they touch, before dropping himself and Etemon into it.

This seems to beat him, but NO. Etemon is too AMAZING to go out like a chump (or at least, that's what he thinks). Etemon bends the Dark Network to his will and instead fuses with it, becoming Etemon Chaos Mode

When Etemon is finally defeated, his sheer power rips a whole in reality that sends Tai and Agumon back to Earth, leading to the whole reason DemiDevimon is able to sew chaos amongst the others. But at least Etemon's gone for good, right?

Anyways, Etemon looks and acts goofy, but that's because he's strong enough that he has nothing to fear in the slightest!

Next up is DemiDevimon!

DemiDevimon isn't strong, or intimidating in the slightest. In fact, he's rather bumbling, but what DemiDevimon is good at is making other people better. Out of all the characters in the Digidestined, DemiDevimon is a major player in the arcs of Sora, T.K., Izzy, and to a lesser extent, Mimi and Matt. DemiDevimon doesn't have a whole lot going for himself, but he excells at making others look good, such as his boss...

Say hello to Myotismon...

Myotismon is THE strongest Digimon in the world at the time of his introdction. Other characters eventually become stronger, but before Megas get involved, no one was better than Myotismon. He was part of the exclusive club of characters who got TWO signature moves, which include his Crimson Lightning and Grizzly Wing.

Myotismon is unique from other villains in just how well put together his plan and army is. Devimon had Ogremon and mind control, and Etemon has a good group of lackeys, Myotismon has a veritable army with enough firepower to conquer the entire city and kidnap 99.9% of its inhabitants within days.

What makes him even more fearsome is his personal feats. Myotismon is the character who really steps up the tone, killing several of his own minions on screen when they begin to turn on him or fail. But perhaps his greatest feat is that he got Gatomon to work for him.

Gatomon is a Digidestined Digimon, and the embodiement of LIGHT itself. Throughout the series, Light has regularly been shown to be the second strongest of all the elements, only behind Hope. Myotismon was powerful enough, EVIL enough that he sucessfully tortured the embodiement of all Light into being his right hand woman.

And when every member of the Digidestined team up to beat him, Myotismon reveals that he's done all of this in a weaker host, and he reveals his TRUE form: Venommyotismon.

Venommyotismon is a Kaiju, and the first Mega level digimon in the series. He can very reasonably be argued to be the 3rd or 4th strongest Digimon in the entire show, depending on how you think he'd do against characters like MagnaAngemon and Piedmon. To beat him, the Digidestined had to activate the prophecy in order to unlock their own Megas, and it took a 2 on 1 for Venommyotismon to finally go down. This undead vampire king really just was That Guy.

And yet, he's not the strongest villain in the series...

Moving on, we have the Dark Masters!

The Dark Masters consist of four Digimon:

MetalSeadramon

Puppetmon

Machinedramon

and their leader, Piedmon.

The Dark Masters took over the entire digital world while the Digidestined were off fighting Myotismon, and they tore reality to pieces, reshaping the entire world into Spiral Mountain, a giant mountain of four zones, each ruled by one Dark Master, with their castle sitting on the peak.

The Dark Masters are the first digimon to use the power of teamwork in battle, and it really shows. They mop the floor with the Digidestined, and if not for Piximon's sacrifice, that would have been the end of the series. The Dark Masters arc is brutal, and with every member the heroes beat, it costs the lives of more and more of their friends. Sukamon, ShogunGekomon, Chuumon, Piximon, Whamon, the Numemon, they and many others were all victims of the Dark Masters.

The digidestined are only capable of beating individual members one at a time. MetalSeadramon gets beat, then Puppetmon, and then Machinedramon, until only Piedmon remains.

And yet, Piedmon still wins. He defeats every single Digimon the heroes have, including their Megas. And he turns them into keychains that he wears on his belt.

What finally puts down Piedmon is the power of the strongest crest unlocking its true potential. Hope. The embodiement of Hope itself, MagnaAngemon appears, and sends Piedmon through the Gate of Destiny, a portal to oblivion itself. NOTHING goes through that gate and survives. That is the only way that he could be defeated.

And yet, he is still not the strongest...

But we'll get to the final villain later, first... IT'S ETEMON'S COMEBACK TOUR, BABY!

Oh, you thought he was gone!? NO! During the mini-arc where the Digidestined are battling Puppetmon, it is revealed that within the afterlife, Etemon has been putting himself back together molecule by molecule. Etemon is so willful, and so confidant, that he reversed his own death.

Etemon fuses with his Dark Network fully, becoming MetalEtemon, a being capable of rivaling Puppetmon in power. MetalEtemon doesn't stay alive for too long, but in his short few episodes, he kills SaberLeomon with relative ease and sends Ogremon into his entire character arc. Etemon decided that dying twice still wasn't good enough, and he cheated death for the sole petty purpose of traumatizing his enemies more.

But now, let's get to the final boss...

This is Apocalymon. Apocalymon is the anit-thesis to EVERYTHING the digidestined are. While the heroes represent Courage, Friendship, Love, Knowledge, Reliability, Sincerity, Light and Hope; Apocalymon is Fear, Paranoia, Hate, Misinformation, Betrayal, Lies, Darkness and Apathy incarnate. He is made of the souls of every Digimon who died in the process of Digivolution, which means he is made of everything that the Digidestined relied upon to win.

Apocalymon created the big bads of every single arc on his own. Devimon, Etemon, Myotismon, the Dark Masters, they are all his creations. He is the ultimate darkness, so hateful and full of so much pure misery that he can do nothing except wish for the end of all life.

And he wins. Not in the Piedmon way where he beats almost everyone, no. Apocalymon KILLS every one of the digidestined and their digimon. He rends them apart, splits their molecules and data into nothing.

The only reason he didn't win right then and there is because of MetalEtemon. MetalEtemon's creation was foreshadowing, a sign that with enough willpower, you can cheat death. And that's just what the Digidestined do. With the power of friendship, they put themselves back together and reform their bodies, starting the fight against Apocalymon anew.

But they still don't beat him.

They can only fight Apocalymon to a draw, and he will not let that stand. Apocalymon unleashes his true ultimate ability: his self destruct sequence. Apocalymon possesses enough power that when he self destructs, the explosion will destroy TWO DIMENSIONS in the process, both Earth and the Digital World. If not for the Digivices containing the explosion, he would have gotten the last laugh.

Digimon Adventure is unique in that, out of every Digimon in the series, the VILLAIN is the strongest. Even MagnaAngemon in second place is nowhere even close to Apocalymon's level.

Apocalymon is the death of hope, the end of light, he is everything that has suffered brought to life, and he could only be defeated when he allowed himself to die.

Every villain represented something. Ogremon was the first showing of a threat that cannot be reasoned with. Devimon is the first brush with the harsh reality of the real world. Etemon shows that overconfidence will kill you. DemiDevimon shows that even people who seem like no threat can still sew the seeds of your downfall. Myotismon is the all too real chance that no matter what you do, some people will always seem to be stronger. The Dark Masters are a corruption of what can be achieved by working together. And Apocalymon? Apocalymon is the END. No matter how strong you are or how hard you work, there are foes who you cannot beat, and that you can only hope to cause their downfall. Apocalymon is the hopelessness that has condemed billions of souls, the misery and rage that will kill billions more. Apocalymon is nothing but the embodiement of everything that has ever caused sorrow... And that is something that cannot be beaten.

[king-candy-lovemail]

stone face (ace ventura x reader oneshot)

requested: yep!! heres to you, YourMomIsBlowingMe (i will never get over that username LMFAO) on wattpad

a piece of my heart will always belong to ace, the hyperfixation on both movies (and the cartoon) got me thru some tough times 😭

kinda unhappy with how this turned out but at the same time kinda proud... ironic i suppose! :P

You hated people. Always selfish, and always out to get you.

All your life, you'd worked dead-end jobs. Retail, customer service, fast food, hell, even a pyramid scheme. You did what you could to scrape by.

And then, you finally thought you'd made it big.

There were a few openings at the local sheriff's office- entry-level positions with little to no required previous experience. Nothing life-threatening or hands-on, though. More like taking phone calls and sorting papers.

Of course, you'd brushed off the offerings when you'd first seen them posted. Yeah, sure, wouldn't that be great. 

And then you saw the starting wage.

Now, here you were, filing 'important papers' for your local police station. You didn't really care about the contents of the files. You always just had headphones in, listening to Satie, or perhaps Chopin.

Most days were the same. Life was fairly bland, and the one joy of life was dancing around the filing room as you listened to classical music.

Coworkers came and went, and no one dared to bother you while you were on your break. Even your current supervisor (a temporary one at that- a few months before you began working there, a whole lot of corruption and conspiracy had went down, causing the previous supervisor to be jailed) barely spoke to you. You got your work done swiftly and efficiently, and didn't care much for socialization.

All had been relatively normal until he showed up.

You relished the peaceful days at the station. Little to no reports, barely any paperwork to file, and a quiet afternoon in the break room. But it seemed that 'peaceful' day would head in a much different direction.

When a brightly dressed, energetic individual entered the station, you were already thrown off. Boisterous people weren't your kind of crowd.

However, this man was more than just boisterous.

He had announced his arrival quite loudly, to your annoyance. He threw his business cards up in the air, letting the cheap cardstock flutter down to the floor. You couldn't help but wonder if he held a grudge against the janitorial staff.

As you pressed your headphones closer to your ears, hoping to drown out this man's incessant noisemaking, you felt your self-proclaimed safety blanket be snatched away.

"Well, well, what are we listening to?" The man's voice came out in a drawl, surprisingly smooth. You snapped your head up, and the bright figure wore a shit-eating grin as he spun the headphones in his hand before slapping them over his own ears.

"Ah! Variation 5 from Paquita, correct?" he chatted idly, spewing some nonsense fact about the ballet. You glared up at him, grabbing your headphones back quickly as he was distracted by the sound of his own voice.

He shrieked dramatically, placing his hands on his head. "Hey, hey! Watch the 'do, woulda?!" His cries fell upon deaf ears as you adjusted your headphones.

"Don't make a fool of yourself, Ventura! That there's Y/N, they've been here for a few months and don't take shit from nobody!" One of your middle-aged female coworkers cackled at her own description of you, slapping you on the back much harder than you're sure she meant to.

You stumbled forward as a result of her force, your headphones being knocked out of your hands. You cursed under your breath, glaring back up at this 'Ventura' man as you picked your saving grace back up off of the floor.

'Ventura' stuck his hand out, imploring you to shake it. You did so, albeit extremely reluctantly. As his warm hand encased yours, you glowered.

"The name's Ace, Ace Ventura. I'm a... heh, pet detective. And ya see, I'm here to celebrate my three month anniversary of SHOWING UP THIS WHOLE STATION! OH YEAH!" He pulled his hand away to, well, pelvic thrust victoriously. You stifled a laugh at his antics, and your coworker made a strangled noise of shock.

"Well look at that, Ventura! You nearly cracked the stone face!" she joked. Ace tilted his head, staring at you.

"Stone face? What are you talking about, Montoya?" he inquired. You clenched your jaw, attempting to walk off. However, Montoya held you in a vice grip.

"Well, Y/N here hasn't cracked even a smile since they first started working here. Matter of fact, me and the guys were startin' to think it was impossible for them to show an emotion other than apathy!" she hollered, her dry fits of laughter becoming slightly grating to your ears.

Montoya was one of the few coworkers you could tolerate. She was motherly, but in a rough way. She gave off a tough-love vibe, the kind of woman to noogie you and smack you if she caught you underage drinking. Sometimes, though, she still got on your nerves.

Ace smirked slightly, and you grew even more irritated. "That so?" he teased. "Well, I bet I can get 'em to laugh by the end of the year, Montoya!" She stuck out her hand, and as they shook, they announced in unison, 'deal!'.

You threw your arms up in defeat, groaning. "Maybe your deal should be to see who can stop talking about me as if I'm not even here by the end of the week!" you cried. Slipping your headphones back on, you walked back to your filing room.

Finally, peace and quiet.

You hated Ace Ventura most of all. Out of every person you'd ever met, you were sure you despised him the most.

Your once-quiet and enjoyable breaks were now interrupted by your headphones being taken suddenly and a familiar voice sounding out from behind you, an irritating 'guess who?' leaving his lips.

You would immediately stumble to get your music back desperately, and each time he would name exactly the song you were listening to.

At this point, you were honestly surprised. Who knew such a foolish, idiotic man had such knowledge on works featured mainly in ballets?

And then, one day, he had caught you dancing along as you did your work.

You had never prided yourself in your dancing, but you had endlessly studied certain ballets for years on end. Call it a hobby or an obsession- either way, it was what got you by.

You were shocked when a pair of arms wrapped around you, lifting you up at the exact moment you had planned to check if the door was still closed.

"Guess who, sugarplum?" he sang cheekily, spinning you around slightly. You screamed, unable to control your sudden outburst of giggles. 

"Hey, please, put me down!" you shrieked, still laughing as he held you close. You tried to ignore the way your body temperature rose at his proximity to you, and the way his arms were wrapped around you...

His voice was unnaturally low now as he muttered, "Told ya I could make you laugh." You furrowed your brow, annoyed once again.

"Go back to whatever it was you were doing, Ace! Tell Montoya about your little bet, and that you won, alright? But leave me out of this shit," you sneered. As you continued your work, you could tell Ace hadn't moved from where he stood. He stood there, still watching you, unmoving.

"What? Go on, you won your deal! Now go."

"That was the first time you said my name," Ace cooed, a stupid smile making its way onto his face. You rolled your eyes, turning away again.

"I like it when you say it. It's a lot better than the other names you call me," he joked. You cracked a smirk at his words.

"What? You mean shithead, bitchboy, and bastard aren't endearing enough for you?" you teased, and Ace let out a laugh.

You sighed once again, trying to push down the feelings that arose over his laugh. "Just... go now, please."

You would never admit that you had wished he would've stayed.

The station's New Year's party wasn't an event you had been chomping at the bit to attend. However, with incessant urging from Montoya and Ace, you resigned yourself to a night of observing drunken buffoons.

The partying never seemed to take a break. Montoya was already shitfaced by the time you got there, while you couldn't seem to find Ace anywhere.

"H-hey, Y/N!" Montoya stuttered out, her words slurring together. She leaned on you for support, despite your body nearly being crushed by the woman's much more muscular frame.

You coughed- her breath reeked of alcohol. "Jesus, how much did you have to drink?" The woman simply cackled at your words, grabbing a random solo cup from a nearby table.

"Oh, please Y/N! My fun has just begun!" She downed yet another swig of beer- or was it whiskey? You weren't sure what this party had to offer- before growing closer to you once again. "I'm surprised, Ventura said he couldn't get you to crack even the slightest smile. And now, here we are, end of the year. I guess he'll be losing!" 

Your breath stopped momentarily, the shock seeping in. "A-Ace said that?" 

He didn't tell her that he won their stupid little game? I guess he's... a little more mature than I gave him credit for?

Your train of thought was disrupted by Montoya's drunken squealing.

"I did it! Ha! You cracked a smile, I WIN! I'm gonna go tell that cocky Ventura right now! He's going to piss himself, hell yeah!" 

You watched as Montoya slugged away, a small smile still on your face. You covered your mouth quickly, not wanting to draw anymore attention to yourself.

"How's it goin', sugarplum?" Ace purred, sliding into the space beside you. You turned away from him, desperate to hide your grin and the heat rushing to your face.

"A-Ace, I haven't, um... I didn't, oh, um..." Your words caught in your throat, and you had to stop yourself from burying your face in his chest that instant. He slowly moved your hand away, letting out a dramatic gasp as he witnessed your smile.

"Y/N L/N, smiling?! This isn't normal, you need to see a doctor this instant!" he shouted. Luckily, with the rest of the party noise, his showing off was drowned out. He pressed a hand to your face, pretending to be feeling for your temperature.

"Oh, my!" he exclaimed, a girl-ish Southern drawl being added into his eccentric speech as he continued, "Looks like you've caught yourself a fever right there!"

You ducked away, trying not to laugh. "Ace, enough! Now, being serious. You didn't tell Montoya about how you won your stupid deal?" you inquired. Ace sucked in a breath through his teeth, placing his hands on his hips.

"Well darlin', what can I say? My reward was just getting to see you happy," he teased, cupping your face gently. You felt like your eyes were going to bulge out of your skull as he leaned in.

Your moment, however, was interrupted by a victorious Montoya.

"Guess what, Ventura! I did it! I cracked that stone face like an egg, I'll tell ya! So you lost, and I won! Suck on that, pet boy!" she screamed, throwing her arms up (and subsequently sloshing the mysterious alcoholic beverage in her cup around haphazardly).

Ace chuckled, bringing you in closer to his side with an arm wrapped around your waist. "What can I say, Montoya. You won! But as you'll soon come to find, I've won a bigger prize," he said smoothly, fingergunning at the woman. In her buzzed stupor, she just shrugged and walked away.

You turned to face him, an unimpressed look on your face.

"Really? Now that was cheesy. What's next, you're gonna kiss me as the new year rings in?" you teased, pursing your lips.

Ace let out a fake laugh, pulling you in flush to his body. You looked away instinctively as he leaned in close, whispering to you as he had the day he won that foolish game.

"On the contrary, my dear, I've never been a man who likes to wait."

[kyanitedragon]

I wanna talk about how "fast" and yet well-done the Clankie slow burn is

When we first heard that the show was going to feature Frankie x Cleo, I was really unsure about it

When it was first confirmed the show would have a queer relationship, I had figured that the queer rep of the show would instead be:

Clawdeen and Cleo, who hit it off immediately in the first couple episodes

Draculaura and Lagoona, because Draculaura is a closeted witch that feels very queer-coded, Lagoona's line of "a romance between a monster and a witch", and soon after that they became fast and very endearing friends

Frankie and Deuce, because they hit it off as friends from the start and are very goofy and upbeat and would make an interesting couple dynamic

Compared to all that, I honestly couldn't see how Clankie could be an option, nevermind canon.

We were several episodes in when the Clankie leaks came out, and at the time, Frankie and Cleo didn't have any interaction.

I couldn't picture how their interactions would be, because they hadn't interacted yet. Even their gen 1 counterparts didn't have too much one-on-one interaction. My mind was just entirely blanking on any possible Frankie / Cleo dynamic. I couldn't imagine what it would look like.

But then Pyramid Scheme happened. And we got to see Frankie's crush confirmed. It was shown so perfectly. It was subtle and not forced, yet very clear to the audience that it was in fact a crush.

Then Crushed happened, and we got to see not only what Frankie and Cleo's dynamic was - which I had thought was long overdue yet amazingly it was shown so naturally. And with a great moral lesson, too! - But also, we basically got to see what Cleo means to Frankie and what exactly they see in her.

And now, Horrorscare, which not only shows Frankie both falling deeper in love and trying to further bond with Cleo. But also showing Cleo's side - what Frankie means to her and what Cleo sees in them. And, by the end, it seems that Cleo's gained a crush and is just starting to realize it.

People have talked a lot about how great it is that we're getting Clankie content so early. A lot of canon queer relationships only ever become canon by the end of the series. You get to celebrate them becoming canon and getting together and maybe kissing once or twice, and then that's it, show's over, that's all the romantic content you get.

And I agree, it's great! We're in 11/26 episodes right now, and both sides have crushes! And we know from the leaks that the finale will feature Frankie asking out Cleo. Which, now knowing how Cleo feels, I'm sure she'll accept Frankie's proposal. And we have a season 2 confirmed, so maybe we'll see them as an established couple from the get-go!

But I also want to talk about the slow burn. Because it's slow burn, but its a fast slow burn! We went from friend to crush in the same episode, and then confirmed reciprocated crushes in the next episode. In 15-minute episodes, no less! Where there's also B-plots happening!

It's fast, and yet it doesn't seem too fast, y'know? The way the writing is, it feels natural and well-written. I'm really impressed with the writers.

I can't wait to see how their relationship further develops. And I especially can't wait to see what happens in the finale!

(Also I wanna shout out to all of you Clankie truthers that have been shipping and blogging since the beginning! Congrats on calling it so early, and congrats on the canon ship!)

[deep-space-lines]

Rating Mass Effect 1 Planets (A Tourist's Guide)

Are they boring? Yeah, kind of. Did I get tired of them really fast during my first playthrough? Yeah, kind of. After 860 hours in the game, am I now spending hours just driving around the boring planets in the Mako, absorbing the vibes, exploring the desolate wasteland, and taking nice screenshots? Perhaps.

Allow me to take you on an autism-fueled guided tour of the galaxy and recommend some wonderful travel destinations for the next time you want to take a relaxing vacation in the mountains. (Because it's always fucking mountains.)

___________

Tuntua: 10/10

I genuinely love Tuntua. This is the planet that I just drove around on for fun during my first playthrough. There's just something about driving over the salt flats and seeing the landscape around you sparkle that fills me with joy. I love the weird inexplicable pyramids. I love how snowy it looks, even if it isn't actually cold. I appreciate a good human-friendly temperature, as I'm sure most tourists will, but I kind of wish it was colder because I want to go ice skating here so, so bad. I can skate pretty fast but I am not good at turning or stopping, which is just what this landscape was made for, baby! I am going to set a new land speed record on these sparkly salt flats in this stupid wonderful brick of a tank.

___________

Asteroid X57: 8/10

I'm kind of torn on this one because I'm not a huge fan of how grey most of the place is, but on the other hand, yeah, that's a solid asteroid. You get what you pay for. Something about the atmosphere (or rather lack of), the looming planet in the background, the multitude of structures in relatively close proximity, make it feel more claustrophobic yet exposed than the other locations you can visit. The northernmost part of the map offers a truly breathtaking view of Terra Nova. Vacation-wise, I think you have two main options. You can lie in the dust and stare up at the sky and ponder your mortality and how small you are in the grand scheme of the universe for as long as your oxygen supply will allow, or you can explore a variety of abandoned structures if that's more your cup of tea. Why are they abandoned? Not relevant to your vacation! It's not trespassing if the owners are dead! ...I think.

___________

Rayingri: 7.5/10

While it seems pretty boring upon first inspection, I think it deserves a pretty high score anyway.

Some of the points are for fascinating rock formations. You've got these extremely steep, strangely pillar-like mountains, plateaus, and cliffs; the terrain is a lot more interesting than most other planets. Maybe not everyone's cup of tea for relaxation, especially considering the earthquakes and all, but I'd love to visit Rayingri with a geologist and just hear them talk about it. How old are these mountains? I wonder if they're really young and their formation was spurred by the tectonic disturbances caused by the looming planetoid that's about to crash into it? Look I dunno how this works, my degree is in astrophysics not geology.

But on the topic of the planetoid... The real draw here, I think, is impermanence. This planet will be obliterated by another planet within a few hundred years. A blink of an eye, on a galactic scale. You might not have the most fun here, but it's a cool place to visit just to say you have- especially if you're a krogan or asari and will live long enough to see it destroyed. There's something profound about that, I think, even if the planet itself is rather boring. Rayingri: experience impending doom today!

Also, my sister wants me to add that orange is a good color. So, bonus half point for good color.

___________

Antibaar: 10/10

I'm gonna be upfront: this place is snowy and cold as balls. If you don't like your vacation spot snowy and cold as balls, you should probably vacation elsewhere. However, I'm a huge fan of snowy wastelands (doing research in Antarctica is at the top of my bucket list), so if you are like me and have a rapturous enjoyment of snow and winter sports, you'll be pleased to learn that Antibaar is just warm enough to enjoy the great outdoors. Bring your sleds, your skis, your skates, we are HAVING A SNOWBALL FIGHT UNDER THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SKY IN THE GAME. Don't let the haters' talk of "low temperatures, high speed surface winds, and low visibility" stop you from having a jolly good time. High speed winds just means your sled will go faster.

___________

Casban: 3/10

I'm going to be real with you: unless your vacation goal is to isolate yourself like a monk and wreak havoc upon future generations of algae, any experience you can have on Casban, you can experience better on Earth, with the added bonus of vacationing on Earth not being illegal. Don't get me wrong, it's a stunning planet- it's just that I don't particularly enjoy sitting in the lush grass, watching a beautiful sunset, and thinking about how nice it would be if the air was breathable and I could have a picnic here. Not that I've ever done that, of course. That would be illegal.

However, if you're a rogue ecologist with no moral qualms about disturbing a delicate ecosystem, this would probably be a really cool place to hang out and do some illegal rogue ecologist research. I won't stop you, I'm not a cop.

___________

Maji: 4/10

Maji is, I think, mostly just a place to stop for a cool selfie. The sky is beautiful, but I mean, there's really only so long you can stare into the suns before you either get bored or sustain eye damage- and if you do want to look at the binary, you'll probably get a better view from space anyway. Given all this, I'd rate the planet a 3/10; however, I'm tacking on an extra point for excitement. Terminus pirates sometimes dump people here and make them fight to the death to be rescued, so if you enjoy blood sports, this may just be the perfect vacation spot for you.

___________

Solcrum: 10/10

If you want to feel like you're back in the early days of human space travel, when everything was new and alien and deadly, when we thought we were alone in the galaxy, when other planets were dreary and uninhabitable yet fascinating wastelands- Solcrum might be just the place for you. The roiling behemoth of a star looming over the horizon like some kind of eye and casting eerie blue light over a fragmented barren landscape... Solcrum is another good place to feel small. With the mass relays making travel across the galaxy near-instantaneous, it can be easy to forget that most of the Milk Way is vast, unexplored, empty, and impersonally hostile to life. Solcrum is a humbling reminder of that reality. You're going to want to bring your SPF 3000 sunscreen and a lot of cold water, because this moon sits at a balmy 351 °C. It isn't an easy vacation spot- but then, you're not vacationing to Solcrum because it's easy.

___________

Agebinium: 9/10

This was actually the last planet I visited, but it felt right to place it here, as the renegade to Solcrum's paragon. Blue giant, red giant. I love a planet with some mood lighting, and the mood here is a little bit evil in a sexy way. I'm into it. I'm putting it a point below Solcrum because Solcrum just has this memorable eerie dark vibe that Agebinium doesn't quite replicate, but in terms of atmosphere, it's up there. It's a bit colder, a bit flatter and easier to drive around, and kind of reminds me of a forlorn desert. An evil desert. In a good way. It's not really a place you go to do things as much as a place you go to be there, you know? Like the woods or something. I don't really go into the woods to do things, I go into the woods to be in the woods. Look, something about the vibe here just makes me want to be evil and sexy while doing it. I don't need to explain myself to you.

___________

Edolus: 1/10

Honestly, there's just not enough on Edolus to justify the risk of visiting. As you can see above, meteor impacts are disturbingly frequent, and I don't know if just another windy desert is worth the risk of being instantly snuffed from existence by a loose boulder. On the bright side, they might name the crater after you.

___________

Sharjila: 4/10

To start with the positives: Sharjila is one of a handful of explorable worlds with higher animal life, and the only visitable world we know of that supports silicon-based life! Sick! And I can guess what you're thinking; wow, silicon-based life sounds cool! Would love to see some someday! Unfortunately, the silicon animals are elusive, and I've never been able to glimpse them for myself. Even if you did come across wildlife, you probably won't be able to leave your vehicle for a closer look, as the high atmospheric pressure is deadly to everyone who isn't a volus.

The main drawback to this world, however: it's full of ammonia and sulfur. Assuming you can get your hands on the equipment necessary for a visit, your stuff is going to smell like total ass for weeks.

___________

Eletania: 9/10

Animal life, lush meadows, beautiful landscapes, a delicate ring system AND a moon, stunning skies- Eletania has it all. Which is unfortunate, because it wants to kill you so bad. It would be an easy 10/10 if the local microscopic critters would just chill the fuck out, but NO, I have to sit in my tank and gaze wistfully at the beautiful scenery and think about how much I want to frolic out there.

Look at that view. Don't you want to take a hike here? Don't you want to climb to the top of one of those mountains and have a romantic starlit picnic under the rings? Don't you want to just roll around in the grass for a bit? Imagine playing fetch with your dog here. It would be nice, right? Well you CAN'T, at least not for very long, because then you and your dog would both be DEAD. You gotta stay in your car and play safari while you watch the pyjaks roam around aimlessly in your place. Undignified. Why do THEY get to be free and I, the clearly superior ape, have to sit in the Mako like I'm in time-out?!-- Anyway, it's a nice planet.

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Mavigon: 7/10

"Let me guess, you like the-" YEAH I LIKE THE FROZEN WASTELAND PLANET!!! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT MAKE YOUR OWN POST!

Some points taken off for having less general whimsy than Tuntua and Antibaar, and for the fact that the great outdoors cannot be enjoyed by virtue of the planet being negative 8 billion degrees. But like. I wanna look outside the window and see that howling storm while I sit nice and cozy by a fireplace, bundled up in a sweater and a blanket, drinking hot chamomile tea. Either that, or I want to sit in my tank and watch the snow and listen to melancholy music. NOT sad music by the way. It NEEDS to be melancholy. This is a planet that will give you seasonal depression.

My favorite part is just at the edge of the map though (see above screenshot), where the mountains disappear completely and give way to a flat plain that stretches out as far as the eye can see. Makes me wonder if the whole area is covered by an ice sheet and the mountains we see are just the very tips of a massive mountain range buried beneath kilometers of ammonia ice. Cool and spooky. I think if I had to pick a planet to die on, this one would be up there. Very atmospheric.

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Trebin: 0/10

I wish I had something nice to say about Trebin. I really don't. I don't have anything all that terrible to say about it either- which is kind of worse. This is a planet defined by what it lacks. Water. Life. Redeeming qualities. There are more dangerous places you can visit, but at least danger is its own kind of excitement. Trebin is just... eh.

You may be wondering why it is that I praise some planets for being empty and desolate, while condemning others. This is based purely off the vibes that I can objectively sense with my giant brain. I hope this answers your questions.

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Klensal: 8/10

I was going to give this one a 7/10 like Mavigon until I realized the entire map seems to be covered distinctly with glaciers, rather than snow. There's ripples where you can see the ice has been flowing, and valley glaciers flowing between the mountain peaks. I helped out with a little bit of glaciology research in undergrad and this tiny aspect of a planet sparked joy for me ok? The way the ice flows just feels so natural! Maybe it's on Antibaar too and I was too distracted by the beautiful sky to notice? But the other ice worlds I've seen so far are kinda just. White and snowy. But on Klensal the surface is tinted blue and looks almost iridescent. The whole landscape is awash with pastel blues and purples and greens as you drive, it looks more like blue glacial ice rather than a thin layer of snow over rocks. There's just a bunch of teeny tiny details that come together to make a subtly awesome planet.

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Presop: 1/10

So y'know how I mentioned Solcrum feeling like the early days of space travel? This is like that but without the glamor. The fact that you can actually see the stars and that it reminds me of Luna gives it a marginal point over Trebin, but there's just no tourist attractions here. If you're stopping at Presop, it's gonna be less for tourism and more like stopping at a gas station to use the bathroom on a long road trip.

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Amaranthine: 1/10

So... Amaranthine is not a particularly fun place to visit. However, my main gripe with this "tourist destination" is that it is advertised as purple. "Under the dim light of the red dwarf Fortuna, the surface of this world is lit in rich twilight blues and purples even at midday"- is what the brochure said. It was named after this supposed purple-ness. Amaranthine is supposed to be a purplish-red color, right?

Now look at my photo. I know that lighting can sometimes look different in photos vs real life, and you may be tricked into thinking the same thing I did, that surely it must look better in person. It does not. Allow me to personally assure you that this thing is blue and gray. Blue and gray are fine colors, but the important point here is that they are not reddish-purple. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed when I landed down here. Surely we could've saved a pretty name like that for a purpler planet? I'm actually trying to get in contact with the International Astronomical Union, see if I can propose a name change to something more appropriate. Cobalt? Indigo? Sapphire? Iris?

However, I'm going to give it a single point for a rather befuddling atmosphere. For some reason it reminds me of how alien planets in Star Trek TOS just looked like a bunch of fake rocks with an unnaturally colored sky in the background? Good planet to dissociate on.

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Xawin: 3/10

I feel like I'm betraying some personal principle by saying this, but... I'm getting a little tired of snowy wastelands. I forgot how many there are. How many planets. I have 10 more to go. I should've counted them before I started tbh. I'm running out of unique ways to get excited about the cold.

Xawin. It's cold and snowy. Not in an unrestrained winter fun way, but in a way that kills you. You want an average surface temperature of 140 Kelvin? We got it. You want ice storms? We got it. And that's about it. This world just makes me think about how Antarctic researchers supposedly get so bored that they just fuck all the time. If I were a mercenary hanging out on this rock, I'd probably do the same, and I'm asexual.

+10 points for snowiness. -7 points for being boring.

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Ontarom: 10/10

FINALLY A FUCKING PLANET I CAN HAVE A PICNIC ON!!!! We got everything we need. Breathable atmosphere. Livable temperature. Soft grass-equivalent. Docile space cows that you can pet, or that can provide a nice cow steak if you forgot to bring picnic food. Space beetles big enough to ride on, not that I condone or recommend it.

It's not all sunshine and rainbows- in fact it is very stormy almost all the time- but joke's on you, I'm a slut for a good thunderstorm. The terrain is shit. Getting up to the plateaus is quite a hike. It's hot as balls. But I can have a picnic. I wanna take my girlfriend on a date here so bad.

My only concern is that I seem to have lost all my credits?

___________

Chasca: 8/10

Chasca is basically Ontarom minus the beetles. 30C is a bit hot for my taste, but compared to the other planets we've seen so far, it's extremely comfortable for humans. There's some really cool pyramids for any archaeology enthusiasts!

The terrain is a bit rougher than Ontarom, perhaps a better hiking destination than a picnic one, which is great because I LOVE a good hike. There's these valleys that are basically just perfect paths through the landscape, and if you're lucky you might run into some space cows here. I wonder how aliens feel about the human habit of naming everything 'Space _'? I mean, space cows, space beetles, space hamsters... come on guys, we're better than this...

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Nodacrux: 4/10

This is just Chasca but it kills you. Chasca is right there. It's right next door. Just go to Chasca.

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Altahe: 8/10

YEAAAAA!! Look at this place. It feels like an evil wizard should live here. Or a dragon. Or a space vampire. This feels like the setting of a sci-fi horror movie. Every aspect of this planet LOOMS. Like what ARE those mountains? They look more like hydrothermal vents than mountains.

The fact that it's a double planet is incredibly cool. I did a bit of lazy digging (which is frustrating when most of the 'literature' on the subject seems to be one admittedly cool-sounding sci-fi book from 1982 (Rocheworld by Robert Forward) and a few reddit posts), and it seems like a system of two planets orbiting so close that they share an atmosphere without breaking apart falls under the umbrella of 'sort of kind of barely physically possible maybe?' Like theoretically it checks out, it sounds possible for there to be a window where the tidal forces are enough to rip the atmospheres away before the actual rocky parts fall apart, but how narrow is that window? Sadly I don't know, and I'm not quiiiite confident enough in my physics knowledge to do that kind of math, and it's going to bother me for the next 2 weeks to 12 years of my life.

So if either spooky landscapes or witnessing the laws of physics doing something really weird sounds like your kind of thing, this planet might be up your alley.

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Nepmos: 6/10

Is it safe? No. Is it beautiful? For the most part, not really. If you've ever looked at an active volcano and thought, 'wow, I wish I was there!', Nepmos might be the place for you. (The fact that I have thought that is why it scores as high as it does.)

The sky is absolutely stunning. Cool volcanic rock, you can see the flow of lava and some places where you can see the rock is only a thin layer with magma flowing just beneath the surface. Explore at your own risk; assuming you don't lose a limb to stepping in some rock soup, your friends will think you're either an idiot or a total badass.

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Binthu: 0/10

I'll just save myself the trouble and quote the travel brochure here: "Data about the world is surprisingly brief and generic, painting a picture of an unpleasant and uninteresting place." Sadly for this vomit-colored world, we are after pleasant and/or interesting.

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Nepheron: 9/10

I forgot this one existed, probably because I usually only come across it relatively late into a playthrough, which is a damn shame because it's really cool. The mountains sparkle. Bitch the mountains sparkle! And there's salt flats! It's like Tuntua but with cooler mountains and a complimentary color scheme, which I'm a big fan of. The only thing separating Nepheron and Tuntua by a point is personal preference, honestly- I like the brighter atmosphere of Tuntua- and the fact that it's a bit difficult to drive around, with much less opportunity to enjoy setting land speed records on salt flats. The travel brochures weren't kidding about geological beauty though. If I had a geologist with me to talk about the cool mountain ranges (and they are quite cool- most planets seem to have hills or disconnected mountains, but the landscape here is very much mountain ranges) I would probably have a really fun time here.

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Aaaand that's it ladies and gentlemen. This took me like? 4 days? Ish? I had to do Noveria, Feros, and some of the Cerberus side quests in order to unlock all the planets (except Chohe or Nonuel, the ones you get once you get a certain paragon/renegade score, I'm just too lazy), and speedrunning the main missions to get to the boring side quest planets was certainly a unique experience. Not one I'd recommend. I DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO GARRUS. It was weird. But fun! The apocalypse can wait. We were busy sightseeing, bitch!

[animation-is-my-jam]

Favorite villain from wordgirl and why is it tobey? Jk jk EXCLUDING tobey who is ur favorite villain?

Aksjsksjsj, OKAY, FIRST OF ALL--despite what it seems, Tobey isn't my number one favorite villain. There is no need to choose someone who isn't him since he wasn't a contender in the first place/lhlh

SO. Who is my favorite villain? ....Hmm, I think I remember choosing my top 6 or 10. But I haven't exactly said who is my favorite.

I guess for me to pick one, I'll just list out my favs first.

(The original Five all go here, aka:)

- Butcher

-Chuck

-Granny May

-Two-Brains

-Tobey

(The other ladies)

-Lady Redundant Woman

-Miss Question

-Maria (Electricity Monster)

(Miscellaneous)

-Amazing Rope Guy

- Nocan

- The Learnerer

...Okay, know I'm actually stuck in choosing a favorite one. Because out of all that I listed, there isn't one where I prefer a character over the other, or if I catch an episode, and there isn't the one villain I get more excited for. I suppose that's maybe bc I'm not super villain focused when it comes to Wordgirl content, but I still love their characters and do more with them outside of the context of the show, so...hmm...

The original Five. That's a done deal because c'mon, they're the more nostalgic and more episode gifted compared to the others. I love Butcher. Chuck is a mood even if he gets on my nerves some episodes, but on others, he's cute. Tobey...is Tobey. I'm a granny May defender, so of course. And despite how much I have Two-brains fatigue, he's so interesting, and I like him still today.

The ladies...NO NEED TO SAY. I LOVE MY SCHEMING GIRLS. THEY ARE THE MOMENT THEY ARE EVERYTHING. They deserve everything

wtf ARE THEY NOT!! MORE HIGHER!! THAN BUTCHER AND CHUCK IN THAT STUPID GAY PYRAMID--(*feed gets cut*)

Woah, heh...uh yeah....um...I love them. (If you're wondering where Eileen or Victoria are....Well, Elieen is not exactly a favorite, let's say that, and I thought about it. I don't think Victoria counts a villain. She's an antagonist, but I'm talking supervillains here.)

As for miscellaneous, they're my silly guys. I love them and write about their characters when they're old guys. Blhg and Invisibill unfortunately couldn't make it. 😔

OKAY OKAY so who is my favorite?.....

....EEGHHHHHHHH UMMMM....LETS JUST MAKE IT A TIE WITH ALL OF THEM.. EXCEPT TOBEY LMAO.

(Okay, for real, I guess the real answer is like a tie between Butcher, Two-brains, Lady Redundant Woman, Miss Question, Granny May, Maria, and Chuck)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! (　＾∀＾)

[ratstuckinamarble]

All right, lets talk about Pyramid Scheme! Because why not.

So the episode starts with Cleo being as pompous as ever (don't get me wrong, I love that about her) while talking to her diary-eyeball thing about the school play. She wants to audition for the role of Cleopatra, and we get to see her practice in front of Clawdeen and Frankie. And can I just say, I love her personality this gen, because it even shows in how she's practicing her lines: "I have immortal longing! In meee. And then some- other words!"

It's great. Frankie looks so happy to be there, they even stood up while clapping for her. We all see you Frankie.

Clawdeen does not seem quite as impressed ("Wow Cleo! That was... Uhm. Anyway."). They're looking for the mummy talisman, and I'm exited to see that storyline continue. But Cleo has other priorities.

It isn't in her jewlery box, so she stopped looking. Yeah that seems about right for her.

She outright says that she was named after Cleopatra, which made me really exited on my first watch. Because we all knew that's why she was originally named that, but it's cool that it's canon.

Nefera was studying abroad in Scaris, and I really hope we one day get some kind of special or something where they all go there, cause that seems fun. Apparently, they both have an interest in acting, but their parents only ever supported Nefera in that regard, while Cleo got to be... The tree.

Ouch. No wonder she doesn't want to see her sister, if she can only associate her presence with getting sidelined.

Before she arrives, Cleo talks to her heart: "Cleo + Cleo's heart forever!" Which is stronger, Frankie's feelings for Cleo, or Cleo's love for herself? Does Frankie have a shot?

Jokes aside, I do think Cleo's behaviour is a symptom of her self doubt, and it'd be cool to see that explored some more. Definitely shows how parents not showing enough pride for one of their kids can effect them.

Frankie's manner of fact speaking once again shines through: "Do you have another sister? (...) Cause you said Nefera's in Scaris, but that girl behind you looks a lot like you. But even more royal." Damn.

Nefera makes her entrance, very exited to see her little sister. Cleo does not share the sentiment. She was invited to audition for Cleopatra as well, and Cloe is desperate to find a way to get the role.

Aside from that, we get to see her room for the first time! Neat.

"We all know what makes you royal! Jewles." I think you might have gotten the wrong message there.

She thinks she can get the role by dazzling everyone with Cleopatras necklace, which is why she wants to sneak into her families tomb. The passageway is a small pyramid, and once again, Frankie has the best comments: "Should we tell her that's a paperweight?"

Nefera barges in before they can leave, and asks if Cleo "...Join(ed) the track team, cause you ran out of there like you wanted to set a new record!" Girl, either you're oblivious, or in De Nile. Hah.

Cleo and Frankie rush off to the tomb, leaving Clawdeen to come up with an excuse: "Urgent snack break." Based.

Followed by Frankie's iconic line: "Anything for you Cleo." Right before dematerializing. Okay, so they just get sent back to Cleo's room, but it's still amusing. To give Cloe some credit, she does look concerned.

Cleo takes the necklace and it all goes wrong, because it has to be replaced by something of equal value, a.k.a. not the random rock she picked. The tomb starts falling apart, and Nefera, Clawdeen and Frankie go after her, because they know Cleo is putting herself in danger. But then Nefera is the one who falls down.

Something interesting, Cloe looks to her for what to do. I think she does look up to her, to an extend, and would like her a lot more if she didn't get so overshadowed by her.

Their conversation after that is interesting too. Cleo admits to taking Cleopatra's necklace, and Nefera asks: "Why do you have to do things like that? If you're just-" Things like what?

Cleo says she knows, she'll never reach her high bar, but she's trying. Seems like Nefera had some expectations of her she couldn't meet? I'd really like the context to that.

We find out that the necklace is the heart of Cleopatra, so if you want to replace it with something equal... It has to be a heart. Cleo is about to put it back, but doesn't. Because the mummy palisman is on it, and helping Clawdeen get her mom back is more important to her. She throws it to her, and Frankie does not know the right time to simp. "Impressive throw Cleo!" jhgfdkj

Cleo puts her own heart there to stop the tomb from falling apart on them all, effectively dooming herself to being emotionless and cold forever. Gotta show you her monologue: "Goodbye heart! It was super cool that you let me feel emotions all these years. I'll miss that! If missing is something I can do without you nearby."

The destruction stops and they all get Nefera out of the pit of doom. Cute little scene, she helps Cleo fix her bandages.

Of course, Frankie can't let Cleo go heartless, so they, uhm. Bite a rock into the shape of a heart.

Are their teeth made of steel or something? Gotta love what they say before that though: "Gonna try something. Sorry if it traps us all in here forever." They're so nonchalant about it. Still, it works and they announce it as their own heart. I don't know what kind of passion they put into making that thing for the tomb to recognise it as equal to an actual heart, but I'm sure the Francleo shippers have their theories (I say, as if I don't ship them too).

The talisman ends up showing that Cleo is the mummy representative, because her sacrificing her heart was so selfless. Which makes me think, it seems like the other amulets match with the main cast, right? So maybe they all find their respective amulets, and have to do something selfless so they can be the representatives when they all open the portal again. Just a thought, I haven't looked at the episode summaries, so I don't actually know.

Also; "No ones ever chosen me over you." That is so sad. Frankie you better pick her right now >:(

And try not to kill your friends.

So yeah, fun episode, I liked it a lot. Also big thanks to bluebelleisabelle for sharing all the episodes on her pinned post, we all really appreciate it.