#i'm hyperfixated on something most people dont like

[rebuke-me]

gonna be mildly petty in the tags but its not personal or anything

[umbramemeblog]

reminders for new black butler fans

I am terrified that new fans are gonna come in (especially from twitter...shudders) and start screaming the same thing's we've been hearing since forever, so let me reiterate some things for you guys

we love sebaciel

most of the anime is CANON.

be weird about every character

say that you "want maurice cole to die" or "wish he had alois' trauma"

the public school arc is a glorified version of harry potter. knock it off.

for the love of GOD do give gregory the virgil sanders treatment i am begging on my hands and knees he is just shy and artistic and your little storm cloud

black butler is a very dark and triggering story. there are a lot of triggering themes within the manga (moreso the anime I have to be honest). if these themes upset you, then it may be for you.

okay now for some general reminders

if someone ships something you don't like. who cares. if you don't like it, then don't interact with it. simple as that!

this goes for people who ship minors and adults you guys are fucking awesome.

you don't have to like someone else's au. again, don't like, don't interact. it's easy

what sexuality / gender / race someone headcanons another character as is none of your business

uhh i dont remember who is sascha

you don't have to accept the fanon (or canon really lol, that's why au's exist), there is no obligation

if someone says that bb is their special interest or hyperfixation your first instinct should not be to shit on them for it

DO NOT HARASS THE ENGLISH VOICE ACTORS, PLEASE PLEASE

don't harass the play actors either now that I'm here

like and reblog art, leave comments and kudos on fanfics

be a freak for the love of god. don't harass people.

okay that's it! byeeeee

[ittybittybattyart]

Finally beat everything from Pokemon scarlet and I’m hyperfixating on it haha, I’ve always loved Pokemon and I’m so glad I got to play this, the last gen I played was 7 (moon(Guzma my beloved)

There’s a lot of characters I like from this game that I’m hoping to draw (Rika, Geeta, Jacq, Hassel, Brassius, Ryme, Carmine, Drayton, Amarys, Giacomo, Eri) but I thought I’d start with one of my absolute faves Kieran! (Tied with Arven)

I really resonated with Kieran and Arven, it’s so cool to see the improvement in the storytelling/character writing with Pokemon, I hope they keep it up and keep improving too!

Semi personal rambling of why I relate to this dude under the cut

If this game had come out when I was a tween/teen I would’ve resonated even more with Kieran than I do now, since I was dealing with a lot of similar stuff at that time.

I’ve gotten to a much better place with myself and situation in the last five or so years, most of these unless otherwise said aren’t things I really struggle with anymore but I was so reminded of my younger self while playing through Kierans story

The self esteem problems and wanting to prove others wrong about what they think of me, the passive and overt bullying from others, the need of validation from others, especially those I admired/envied. Additionally the constant setbacks in life and trying to achieve my goals despite it and the envy of other people’s lives that seemed easier than mine

… also some of the obsessive tendencies just like generally, I'm extremely monotropic so its VERY difficult to get me to focus on something I'm not fixated on already, I will talk about it without even realizing and do it for days/weeks/months its still something that really effects me, I'll fixate so hard i dont sleep much for weeks and forget to eat/drink kind of levels, I've always been like this (AuDHD)(I'm working on taking breaks and self care in this regard tho)

Therapy really helped/helps (Kieran please go to therapy lol)

[shitty-proendo-blackout-posts]

I’m honestly so pissed at anti Endos using inclusive tags like wdym iys “not endo safe” and then you tag it as “plural gang” and “pluralpunk” PICK A SIDE?!?/lh

Hot fire. it is :)

_

i dont normally add actual comments to blackouts but im actually going to talk about this one

according to the national institutes of health, did is diagnosed in about 1.5% of the global population¹. note that it specifically says "diagnosed", meaning that the 1.5% doesnt count the numerous people who either arent diagnosed or are misdiagnosed with something else.

but even if it was only 1.5% of the global population that has DID, there are roughly 8.2 billion people alive². 1.5% of 8.2 billion is 123 million. over 100 million people is not rare.

also btw this guy thinks that bullying isnt abusive unless its physical³, doesnt believe most people without a diagnosis⁴ ⁵, and that alters can only ever form from stress and nothing else ever (unless you're polyfragmented apparently in which case hyperfixation splits are completely possible and fine i guess)⁶ ⁷. and he's also friends with astro⁸. so i'd highly recommend nobody trust a word he says.

¹ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK568768/ ² https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/ ³ https://www.tumblr.com/theinfernalcollective/751152968872624128/yeah-but-have-you-considered-that-most-abuse?source=share ⁴ https://www.tumblr.com/theinfernalcollective/762366747219279872/unpopular-opinion-time?source=share ⁵ https://www.tumblr.com/theinfernalcollective/762457684059537408/oh-exactly-im-honestly-thin-on-believing-those?source=share ⁶ https://www.tumblr.com/theinfernalcollective/752756084479049728/hot-fact?source=share ⁷ https://www.tumblr.com/theinfernalcollective/752849168745299968/alright-lets-clarify-something-from-our-last?source=share ⁸ https://www.tumblr.com/theinfernalcollective/tagged/interactions%20with%20astro

(i think infernal uses he/him pronouns? but im not sure. if i'm wrong please correct me)

[softxsuki]

hi!! id like to make an urgent request please :)

tw !! mention of self harm / new sh wounds , mention of a blade

if you’re alright with it, id like to request a (romantic) hawks x gn!reader where hawks walks in on reader relapsing.

ive recently grown more and more stressed and tired lately, like my energy is constantly being drained and no matter how hard i try im not enough to stop it. and i wanna reach out for help cause i know i have friends who care about me but i just cant for some reason—i dont feel the need to ask for help cause i just dont think i deserve it. no matter how many times ill comfort others i was never strong enough to ask for the same comfort, and instead of going to someone and talking about it i turn to my blade.

hawks is a big comfort character of mine and my current hyperfix, and as embarassing as it is—reading comfort fanfics of him is a way of coping with it all. so id gladly appreciate if you could write this for me :) ++ if possible, id love if youd be able to include hawks cleaning reader’s cuts, cleaning them bringd me a sense of comfort and id love to see that in the fic.

but if you’re uncomfy about anything at all, no worries ! you dont have to write this if you dont wanna :) have a lovely day<3

Hawks Comforting Reader After They Self-Harm

please do not read if any kind of mentions of self-harm will do you more harm than good!

Pairing: Hawks x Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of self harm, blade, blood, scars

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Drabble

Word Count: 750

Summary: In which your BF Hawks catches you self harming and cleans up your fresh cuts

[A/N: Hey hey, so sorry for taking so long to write this, I know it was urgent. I just happened to get sick randomly and couldn't focus to write. But I finally got this done for you! I hope you're still around to read it </3. Hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Always go to others for help before taking matters into your own hands. Even if you feel like you can't, I'm sure the people in your life would love to help you out <3 I'm here too if you ever need anything! Enjoy!]

You look back and forth between the bloody mess in front of you to the panicked face of Keigo who had walked in on you. 

He was supposed to be gone for the whole day, patrolling his designated area until later that evening. Who knew he’d stop by to check in on you, hoping to have lunch together before continuing his patrol duties. Yet, coming home to you hovering over the bathroom sink with blood dripping from your delicate skin was not what he expected at all.

Of course he knew about your history with self-harm and could very clearly see all your past scars on your body, but he never expected to see you actively harm yourself in front of him. 

“Y/N…” He starts cautiously, eyeing the blade in your hands as you shake with regret.

“I’m sorry,” you cry, dropping the blade in the sink and moving your bleeding wrists away from his view, but he quickly closes the space between you.

Gentle hands grab your own and inspect the damage done. He rolls up the sleeves of his hero suit and gets to work on cleaning you up. With a clean towel he dabs the blood away, applying slight pressure to help stop the bleeding a little, whispering an apology whenever you flinch from the pain. 

He’s silent; contemplating how he let it get this far. He was a hero for crying out loud and the one person he wanted to keep safe the most out of everyone else in the world, managed to get harmed while he was away. He was angry and frustrated at himself that he couldn’t prevent the fresh cuts on your arms. All those nights he kissed your scars and whispered sweet promises of love and protection were all for nothing. Why couldn’t he be more useful to you?

“Keigo, I didn’t mea-” you start, but he quickly cuts you off as he finishes applying the bandage wrap to your wrist.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known something was off, I should have paid more attention and been around to help instead of being out. I’m sorry.”

He presses kisses to your bandaged wrist, just wishing that he could have the magical healing power that Recovery Girl’s kisses had. He wished he could kiss all your pain away and face it all himself in your stead. 

“No, no, this is all on me. You’re always there for me, telling me how much you love me and trying your best to encourage me and lift me up, but I always hold back,” you confess, snatching your arms away from him in guilt, “You’re so busy as it is saving everyone. I don’t want to add to your burdens with my own problems as well. I thought I could deal with it all alone, but I failed. I turned back to my blade because it was too much to bear on my own.”

He sighs, and this time brings you into his arms in an embrace, “That’s because we’re not meant to go through these things alone, babe. Even as a hero I don’t do things on my own either. I have a whole agency backing me up along with my other fellow heroes. No one can accomplish anything on their own without hurting themselves. So please let me be there for you to help you as much as you’ve helped me.”

Silent sobs escape your lips as he continues to hold you and speak.

“All those days when you held me after I failed to save someone. All those nights you patched me up after a mission and I stubbornly refused to go to a hospital; let me be there for you for all your tough times as well. Let me be the one to gather you up again and listen to all your worries, don’t fight your battles alone anymore. I promise you’re not a bother to me at all. I want to be there for you. It’s my job,” he reassures you. 

“All right,” you sniffle, finally wrapping your own arms around him, accepting his comfort.

He calls the agency afterwards, letting them know that he can’t come in for the rest of the day and instead spends his time with you. Listening intently to everything that’s been bubbling up in your heart, right by your side, wiping your tears away and giving you his unconditional support and love. He’s definitely making sure you don’t deal with things on your own anymore :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted 3/5/2023

[that-unspeaking-sky-kid]

can I tell you the weirdest dream ive ever had?

it was like.. one of my only normal dreams, Think it happened when I was seven or ten or something. (Worded that wrong, uh, basically one of my dreams that made the most sense, in a way?)

BASICALLY, here i am, i'm in this office, i'm walking through some halls, walking by some people, some people telling me 'Good luck' and such, which got me confused, i kept walking, walking to like.. this muffled sound of music, walking by people telling me stuff like 'good luck' or 'you're gonna be amazing' or 'break a leg',

I walk up to a door, hearing some muffled music and chanting, I open it up, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,

THE DOOR OPENS UP TO CALLIE'S STAGE

Y'KNOW THE ONE

THE STAGE HERE

THE CHANTING GETS LOUDER, AND FOR SOME REASON I HAD TAKEN THE PLACE OF CALLIE, APPARANTLY THERE WAS SOME SORTA LIVE EVENT / BASICALLY A REDO OF THESPLATOON 2 FINAL BATTLE RIGHT AS IT STARTS

I WAS ALSO SUDDENLY WEARING HER EXACT OUTFIT TOO??

I THINK THIS SONG WAS PLAYING?? I DONT KNOW CAUSE I HAVE NEVER HEARD IT AT THAT TIME (WHICH ALSO CONFUSED ME)

AND I REMEMBER GOING:

'uhh.. i forgot my lines'

AND BAM. I WAKE UP.

COOLEST DREAM IVE EVER HAD.

man my hyperfixation back then was WILD.

[dr-spectre]

Hi (sorry if you've answered this before and I missed it) I'm curious, how long have you been a fan of Callie?? Or even just Splatoon in general?

Hi!!! I have answered something similar to this before but I'll answer it again because I have stuff I wanna say!

I've been a fan of the series since December 2017 when I got Splatoon 2 for my birthday. Although before then I was watching tons of YouTube videos about Splatoon 1 as I didn't have a Wii U. Like the rest of the population lmao.

However, in terms of being a fan of Callie? I was a "casual enjoyer" of this silly little bastard when I got Splatoon 2.

Yeah... during THAT arc of her character. I became a casual fan of hers during her Splatoon 2 arc and now I ramble about her most misunderstood period, trying to clear up what happened and wanting people to use the correct terminology when describing things. Funny how things work out eh?

However, my teen brain only saw her as "cute" and nothing more. Just eye candy... and um.. a LITTLLEEEE more than that but I won't go into what I was doing during my teen years... I think you can figure it out...

Anyways! Ever since Splatoon 2 and into Splatoon 3, I always remained pretty causal towards Callie and always thought she was so damn cute.

But... I became a BIGGER fan of hers during a pretty rough mental health period in my life during mid 2023. Let's just say shit was really hitting the fan for me during that time and Splatoon was there for me during that rough patch. I took a visit to Alterna and I saw... her... standing there... staring at me... I just looked at her via photo mode and... something happened. I dont know what, but my brain suddenly became hyperfixated on her and my interest for her began to grow and grow AND GROW!

This son of a bitch hypnotised me, minus the shades.

I also have these old screenshots from discord as proof of my loyalty to this squid lady.

This is when the brainrot got severe and I knew something was happening in my head and I ranted about it to my friends in a private server...

[frankendykez]

What r ur oc stories about?

OMG HIHI I NEVER HAD SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF MY CURRENT FRIENDS ACTUALLY ASK BEFORE UMMMM OKAY SO. i have 3! main oc stories that i Really care about at the moment but im Deeply fixated on mainly 1 of them but im gonna start with the one ive been liek "promoting" the most in a sense!! under read more cuz im gonna try to exlain all three of them bless. sorry if i seem overly passionate oops i was TRYING to summarise im sorry its so long u rlly dont Have to read All of it

Forgotten Man's Symphony

his (louis manoir) character is basically a spin off from a character mentioned in the novel frankensetin exactly (1) time by name in elizabeth's letter and by far he is the most organised oc of mine cuz we do actually have a clean, understandable summary doc (thought it is a tad bit outdated but its okay). shes like the most Normal narrative-wise i suppose so i'm not exactly sure on how to explain the plot of forgotten man's symphony it's just like??? him ruining his life in front of the reader and then #Healing?? i guess?? the story is an epistolary that starts with louis' Suicide Letter. so like. yeah. BUT!! i suppose i would say his story very much concerns the concept of like identity (including gender and such she would be considred either transfemme/bigender by the modern world but also idfk cuz i made her complicated and confusing on purpose) and also the lack thereof + the negative impact that comes with trying so hard to fit into the societal norms and what people Want you to be but you just Can't be, cutting away bits of yourself to fit through some sort of hole representing the perfect version of you until theres nothing left of Who You Are expect a palatable and small version yk?? and the the endless pursuit of wanting to be loved that leads yourself to changing and changing for people who just wont care or love you for realsies + @rosaniruby 's words "making it even like that so its not YOU who is loving and being loved but the dim visage of a version of you that fits the picture of what society loves; that it's not a love between individuals, it's the love for a society that cannot ever love anything because it was made to hate. and who believes that portrayal of love will not find it and forever be stuck. smth like society loves what it deems as perfect and hates the imperfect, since perfect doesn't exist it can only do the second one. and louis wanted to love perfect victor, hated his own imperfect self. but the perfect victor doesnt exists, and neither does any version of louis."

i like her he's great. sorry if that was less telling u WHAT his story is and more like Explaining the "themes" as theyre called of the story but idrk how to describe nromal stuff so TAKE WHAT U CAN GET!!! anyways,

Domus Carnis: The Transmutation of Guinevere Manor

idk if you're aware but i have a hyperfix on architectural horror and i DON'T MEAN SCARY GHOSTS AND SERIAL ILLERS IN AN ABANDONED HOUSE I MEAN HAUNTED HOUSES THAT ARE ALIVE THAT IS A METAPHOR FOR PTSD FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ETC ETC!! this story By making it started my whole obsession with the House it's crazy... scary even.. (i recommend you watch jacob geller's video essay about houses) i really do like domus carnis but it's. Messy to say the least. i do feel as if i ought to change the time period it's set in to avoid talking about the wars going on in the time period i accidentally set it in without realising but im procrastinating on that rn. it was Suppose to be late 1800s to early 1900s..

in a few simple words: flesh-and-bone made lesbian sex house. does that get your attention yet. bless

domus carnis (which literally means flesh house in latin or something) will be written in the POV of a 40ish year old widowed woman by the name of harriet wren's diary entries, occasionally switching to the POV of her 20-something year old godson percival who is like old timey jake paul and hes like either a journalistt or a radio host depending if i choose to change the time period or not. we follow them after harriet's husband dies of whatever and they find out he has a large property in a foreign country of which they had not known of prior

somewhere in germany there is a house of ex-aristocrats that no longer live there that is Alive. the House becomes alive because it is in a sense "possesed" (not haunted) the ghost of kathryna von guinevere who was the last one to die in the house, who, in life, was incredibly obsessed with The House for reasons that i fear are too long to explain without boring you and going into info pre-story?? anyways, when she "posseses" the house, the materials of the house shift to flesh, blood and bone because it Materially becomes her body. now, it would be hard to accurately label what represents what body part, because it's all strangely jumbled up and isn't like really human anatomy either cuz kathryna Can in fact see inside herself?? anyways whatever. now, the house is now both her body AND her mind. i have taken the phrase "haunted by memories/trauma" and turned it literal. the house IS haunted, but most of the ghosts aren't ghosts, theyre mostly all manifestation of Memory from her life because she actively is replaying the speech and actions of other people IN her mind to process the (typically traumatic) events of which she's seen or experienced. the ghosts CANNOT do as they please because they only exist at all Due to kathryna remembering them in these specific scenes. the hauntings include scenes of people, sounds, and shadows. unless the "scene" has a mirror, you cannot see kathy directly because you are witnessin things through HER eyes, which makes memories from wee childhood interesting because im wondering if i should make the "people" seem wayy bigger than the viewer if stuff is replayed from childhood..

i really like the fact that a lot of this is based on memory because it opens a lot of doors to me when it comes to the appearance of hauntings. my friend showed me this video depicting neurons forgetting how a face looks like, and i feel as if i could use that in the story because well, realistically kathy isnt going to have a Pristine memory cuz she Was just a human before, not to mention the fact shes already suppose to have issues on facial recognition/rememberance (my friend with these sisues suggetsed htis). the alteration of the ghosts' bodies could be fucked with even more if i try to make use and research into the way that people (mostly children) can in fact like.... change the image of something traumatic in their brain and make it less scary bc the brain is trying to protect them? yeah. AND ALSO the fact that a lot of people forgets certain aspects of their trauma due to their brain trying to protect them as well but still have this feeling of Unease when it comes o specific things that they cant explain, i could incorporate this feeling in certain areas of the House, the strange uneasiness. i experience that myself so i hope ill portray it right!!

i Think that's it?? at least that should be the bare bones of the story... i have a pin board tho if u want to check it out!!

The Epinicium

THIS is the stupid fucking thnag thats ruining my entire life rn. i love it i hate it whagever man. THIS ONE ill keep short and simple because im too fucking mentally ill about it to explain in depth without being asked questions

so basically its fantasy world but not like. Completely new high fantasy i very loosely based the countries off of like real countries and stuff bc lazy as shite so its like mid fantasy maybe HOWEVER

basically its set in this world where theres a shit ton of religions and gods and shit and theres three categories of religions (the world is veyr uhnm. Categorical idk): earth, science and the arts. basically the arts religions are the majority and the gods of those religions are called the muses so thats what i'll be calling them from now on. the basic plot of epinicium is about the muses of the music religion declaring that humanity doesnt treat music as "holy enough" anymore and taking it away as a whole (songbirds go extinct as well which is importnat) which also fucks up the other arts religionsdue to the fact that artforms are very connected but they still exist yk and centuries later our main cast attempts to bring it back!!! we have this server with a channel that has the "summary" but its not a real summary its just an already outdated infodump but we are Trying to fill this doc but we're failing really hard but friendship is magic idk.

fin.

anyways thats. pretty much it i think im sorry its too long once again 😭😭 feel free to ask question esp on the epinicium!! id love to hear abt ur ocs btw ive yapped so much oops

[nabbit-unmasked]

Thinking about when time when I was in Reddit therian and otherkin communities.

Once time, I made a google slides presentation for myself with positivity about being C.A.R. kin, and every single being supported me except this one exclusionist guy. He called me controversial and had a whole argument with me in the comments.

He was very strict about who he saw as a valid otherkin and gatekeeped others to hell and back. It wasn't just with me and being an African nation, but he pretty much nitpicked everyone he saw. If there was anything about them that didn't match his perfect standard of being an 100% involuntary, monokin/very few kin, non-physical, completely serious, not seeking validation, mythical creature otherkin, he found a way to argue with you and tell you what he thought you should be. This man was in his 20s and talking to a bunch of experimental/new-to-kin teenagers about this stuff, mind you.

Later on, my and a fellow otherkin friend messaged a user that he was, once again, gatekeeping and invalidating. I believe it was because they were original species kin, but I'm not quite sure. Either way, they reported him and he was banned the next day (thank goodness).

When I was in Reddit spaces, this wasn't all that uncommon either. He was just a more extreme example. People did make fun of "tumblr kins", which I believe was a satirical/troll movement a couple years back that made fun of bizzare kintypes and experiences. But the same idea still stuck; sometimes, tumblr was known as the place with a bunch of fakers and confused teens with 50+ kintypes, which is extremely indicative of "faking" in reddit spaces.

I admit that I partook in it gatekeeping, too. Specifically in therian spaces: it was extremely common for young & new therians to come in and ask if they were a valid therian, and a few people would reply and tell them the usual spiel: "as long as you aren't controlling it and you dont think you're physically an animal and you identify as not with, then yes!!!!"

When I found the r/alterhuman subreddit instead of other big kin subreddits, I totally changed my views on who counted as a "real therian/otherkin/whatever-else-kin". If you identify as it, you are it, and only you can decide that for yourself. It's no one else's decision, because they aren't in your mind.

That's when I left Reddit and came over here.

I realized something that could have been useful years ago when I was experiencing impostor syndrome over my plurality.

If you think you're faking, what's the reason for that? Is it because you feel like you subconsciously chose to be the way you are? Is it because you got hyperfixated on the community you're in? Is it because you dont experience any of the common or "more serious" traits of your identity?

Chances are, whatever it is that's making you feel that way is actually valid. Gatekeepers will try to shape their communities into the perfect mold that their brain sees them as, or as the people around them have made it out to seem. In reality, the ideal community is completely subjective and imaginary. There is no one, no force, no ideology that can stop you from identifying the way you do. It's entirely mental, individual, and personal. Theoretically, I could put on any label that I wanted to right now, and no one but myself could stop me.

After I realized I could apply that to myself, I understood most of my imposter syndrome came from the fact that my autism clung to communities and made me subconsciously gravitate to them due to hyperfixation. I always tried to find reasons why that couldn't be true, but I realized I didn't have to do that anymore. I accepted that was essentially what was happening. If someone did develop their identity, subconsciously or not, due to a hyperfixation, that was valid. When I built my own moral compass and stopped gatekeeping others, I was then able to stop gatekeeping my own self.

[goodlucktai]

tagged by @bobtheacorn like...... 3 weeks ago 😭 my bad

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

283

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,353,670

which seems.......excessive

3. What fandoms do you write for?

actively, one piece and tmnt, but that is ruled by the demons in my brain that control the hyperfixation machine.

fandoms ive posted 3 or more fics for:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends Good Omens Final Fantasy XV Undertale Mumintroll | Moomins Series Harry Potter Young Justice 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia 陈情令 | The Untamed King Falls AM Percy Jackson and the Olympians Rise of the Guardians Voltron: Legendary Defender

4. Top five fics by kudos?

Exclusivity - 11,116

walk straight through hell with a smile - 9,152

Inanition - 9,039

there is thunder in our hearts - 8,161

trouble is a friend of mine - 7,842

5. Do you respond to comments?

i do try to but i can't always :'( and i feel terrible if i manage to reply to most and then forget someone and only realize it months later. but i read every single comment and i appreciate them more than i have words for

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i tend to veer away from angst, but off the top of my head....

where the good men go or if i go i'm going on fire

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

99% of my fics have a happy ending because thats my BRAND but i suppose give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around or the weekend we were in love OR put your empty hands in mine

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not often, but i recently had someone who REALLY disliked the way things change because i 'villainized' raph. which is definitely news to me, since raphael is the love of my life

9. Do you write smut?

nope

10. Craziest crossover?

i wrote a tmnt/one piece crossover once ? but now that we are actually getting a tmnt/naruto idw run it doesnt feel that weird to me anymore

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

only once if i'm remembering right ?? it was a long time ago and wattpad related, which is a site that i dont really understand and therefore tend to avoid

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes ! i'll often have people request to translate my stories and it blows me away every time

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Devil took your hand was written by myself and @moogsthewriter

14. All time favourite ship?

ineffable husbands, wangxian, or leosagi

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

how much time do you have 😭

16. What are your writing strengths?

i want to say characterization and narrative voice. i'm also pretty good at maintaining a throughline, even if it sometimes gets a little wobbly

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

conflict ! i hate it ! i will avoid writing it at all costs ! i also tend to struggle with writing fight scenes, especially when there are several characters involved :') staging any kind of choreography is my opp

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i try not to but if it feels unavoidable i google the heck out of it

19. First fandom you wrote in?

honestly it was either digimon (which also inspired my og penname) or xiaolin showdown lol

20. Favourite fic you've written?

i'm stealing bob's idea and going top 5:

there is thunder in our hearts - this story came together so easily for me, like i knew exactly how i wanted to tell it from start to finish

the only hoax i believe in - a kfam fic in my top 5s why yes and i'll tell you why. because i poured so much of myself into this fic that they could probably read it at my funeral instead of a eulogy

traveling so far to get there - after party au raph and mikey continue to take up so much real estate in my brain and for what

now the darkness comes alive - this one is more recent but im so happy with the way it turned out :')

if we could stay all day in the sun - it was a lot of fun reimagining one of my favorite fairy tales and doing a bunch of unnecessary research for this story i will stand by it until the day i die !!

i'm tagging @mykimouser, @owletstarlet, @portgas-d-aroace, @mad4turtles, @camsthisky, @remedyturtles, @pickledcarrotsandradish, @swordsmans, @mangogreent, and anyone else who wants to !

[sbk-zgvlt]

There has to be at least one incident where Sebek got too caught up with what he has been doing and just zeroed in on something (hyperfixation) and when he finally comes out of a cave this happens;

Sebek, covered in dirt and leaves: i have accidentally indulged in too much 'me time', turns out i've been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most NRC students and national authorities in Briar Valley

Yuu, opening the door to ramshackle with a toothbrush sticking out his mouth: I'm glad you're safe and well but YOU came to ME???

TOO MUCH ME TIME IM CRYINGGG

He was making a FUCKASS sword. Comes to Ramshackle covered in dirt, leaves, and holding a cool ass sword.

The reason Sebek went to Yuu first is because when he cam eback, he wa ssurprised at the amount of concern and people looking for him. He didn't think him leaving was such a big deal. After all Dia 3 could go on about their day without him, right? (Silver couldn't sleep.)

Overwhelmed by EVERYTHING, he opts to go to Yuu instead because he didn't know where else to go (I don't know, maybe back to DIAOSMNIA. To ALLEVIATE Dia 3's WORRIES???)

Sits down at their couch going "I dont understand why theyre even looking for me in the first place!!! I didnt know my absence was such an inconvenience" "INCONVENIENCE???"

Sebek takes everyone's reactions to his departure as an INCONVENIENCE instead of an actual worry. He thinks that he's neglected his duties somehow, which is why everyone is upset, when really theyre upset that SEBEK JUST UP AND LEFT WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE. Like you have missing posters EVERYWHERE 💀💀💀

[dragonroilz]

Hey there! I've come across your art ever since I got into Risk of Rain 2 (better late than never, I've been sleeping on this game for years, jesus), and I'm enamoured with it, to say the least. Is there any advice you could perhaps give for an aspiring artist?

you're getting an essay whether you like it or not.

tl;dr of it if you dont want to read

- learn how to take critique

- dont skip fundamentals

- tracing is okay*

- be mindful when drawing

- you wont see good results for a long time

ok firstly, glad you like my art! i try my best on pretty much everything i make so the compliment is greatly appreciated!!

secondly, you have NO clue how much i love yapping about how to draw. im not an expert on how-to-draw-ology but i like to think i know enough to help other people not swing in the dark when it comes to getting better.

learning how to take criticism is THE most important part. not getting butthurt or at least listening to peoples critiques when they mean well is critical to improvement because its specialized advice for you. you have no clue how many young and/or new artists have gotten mad at me for giving critique when they specifically asked me for it. if youre looking to improve you gotta bite that bullet. not all criticism is valid(dont listen to people who are just tryna make you upset), but good and valid criticism can come from anyone. dont unvalidate someone's critique just because theyre not an artist or "not as good" as you. try and get as much feedback as you can and move onto the next piece instead of fixing something to perfection. you will get obsessed in a very destructive way.

learning fundamentals is another step to getting better. that means actually learning perspective, hands, anatomy, and all of the other stuff people hate drawing. its like lifting weights. most people dont like it but if you want to get stronger you need to put in the time to do the painful stuff.

chris christodoulou(ror's composer) actually made a similar comment about the topic of improvement in his field that was along the lines of "if you want to write music, stop playing video games and read a book". he got a lot of shit for saying that but honestly its true.

you need to treat art as a discipline if you want to get better at it. draw as much as you can for as long as you can before it becomes a health hazard. when im not resting i tend to draw at least three hours a day, not counting the 3 to 6 hours additional hours a day i draw during college. obviously a beginner doesn't need to draw that much but drawing daily is a good start.

if you want resources on where to look for fundamentals, Sinixdesign and Ethan Becker were who I turned to for advice that is relevant to the industry. There's definitely others out there but I tend to do more self studying so i don't know the more recent stuff.

something that they'll bring up is that tracing isn't bad AS LONG AS YOU DONT POST IT AND CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN. it's a good way to see how other people deal with stylization, but its absolutely not okay to post that stuff online. treat it like how traditional painters do master studies. its for your own education, not clout. and you shouldn't be drawing for clout anyway.

last but not least, draw what you love and you'll always love drawing. dont be afraid to hyperfixate and lose interest in things. it will help you continue your art journey. a lot of people in my art school have little to no motivation to draw outside of college because they have no interest in drawing outside of assigned work, which is not a great relationship to have with art if you want to pursue it in the long run. draw what you want to draw when the motivation hits you. if that motivation is risk of rain? draw it. if it's leg muscles then fuck yeah draw that too.

you can stick fundamental practice into your casual art by being mindful of what you are drawing. that can be done by asking questions about what's going on to further the progress of your art. its kind of hard to explain in text, but its basically just keeping in mind how your lines influence the piece.

in the beginning youre going to have ideas and none of them are going to translate to paper. its going to take years before anything will ever compare to whats in your brain and thats just the sucky part. ive been drawing seriously for about 5 or 6 years and theres still a ton of shit i do NOT wanna touch but i have to if i want to improve.

we're all sisyphus pushing that goddamn stupidass boulder and the only thing we can do is acknowledge how far we've come while still knowing that there's more work to be done. but thats kind of the shit that i live for.

[lilacs-echoing]

Hello Lilac.

Frankly I've been a fan of your analysis ever since I entered the fandom.

I've also noticed that many people have very different takes of what each boy represents and the symbolism of each character.

But I'm interested to know what's your take on what each boy represents and their symbolism.

hi ari!! sorry it took me so long to answer! this post is going to be kind of bullshit because im not as hyperfixated as i used to be, literally.

i think my opinions on what the boys represent is kind of basic but some of them are a little far fetched. ive spoken about it before of my opinions on the religious symbolism (which spans from the idea that simon is jesus) but i dont know enough about religion to fully expand this idea. however, i think in this case piggy/roger would be abel/cain and jack would be judas.

in a political sense, i find that the idea of ralph and jack representing a two party system is kind of,, nationalist american bullshit because it doesnt have to be that way. but i think jack and ralph more so represent tyranny/ a simplified version of leadership while ralph represents the true complexity that comes with trying to put someone in a leadership position. a lot of ralphs character revolves around his inability to properly lead and his failure in regards to jack, who thinks hes doing everything right.

people frequently speak about a good vs. evil conversation here, and i do see what they mean. im personally of the opinion that simon did nothing wrong and i feel like people grasp for straws to hold him accountable for.. something. i think simon, piggy, and the mulberry boy represent that the people in our society who fall are oftentimes the ones who have better intentions and less power. the book heavily emphasizes that jack and roger only lead because they're evil enough to.

heres a list of some themes i think the boys represent:

simon - purity, piety, disability, goodness, prophecy, i think simon is meant to be the one who was right all along. hes a real tragedy

piggy - obviously intelligence but also disability, i see him as a form of ignorance at times too and tunnel vision.

ralph - leadership, animalistic tendencies, prey, selflessness.

jack - predator, leadership, also animalistic tendencies, selfishness, jack also leans towards a more manipulative style of leadership than roger

roger - henchmen type guy. hes "the most evil one" but hes also the most controlled and thoughtful of his actions, he and piggy both represent children who rely on leadership heavily.

maybe i could go more in depth during a conversation im just struggling to fully explain myself D:

[inkywarden]

This is a long one (fr sorry in advance) but it seems I can't quite put this out of my mind. I've never really listened to One Direction, even if I as a now 32 year old, probably was in the main target audience. I never got the hype, or much more likely, I never attempted to get the hype. I remember seeing them everywhere, and since I do have eyes, I noticed they were good looking boys. I also remember (silently mind you, I was much too edgy for 1D at this point) quickly finding my fav. He looked kind, he had a nice laugh and kind eyes. He was gorgeous, with the kind of smile I fear I will never see again. Tbh I have gone until last week without listening to, or even thinking much about 1d since. I do remember him though, Liam. I've seen him in the news, on social media, and again since I do have eyes, I noticed how the boy with the beautiful smile turned in to a very, very (like extremly??? hello?) handsome man. A man who still had the most genuine, contagious smile. A smile that always spread to his eyes. That was pretty much it for my knowledge of this band, and this man, until last week.

I saw it in the news, and it made no sense to me. How did we go from there to here? I felt.. something, still unsure what exactly. I later saw my old university post a memorial type post about him on facebook. My old university being the University of Wolverhampton, where I graduated as an illustrator in 2015. That's two things, two coincidences that weirdly made me feel more connected to this stranger. The unexplained, undefined feelings I was having suddenly felt heavier. This is when I hyperfixated and consumed just about everything there is to consume about this band, and this man. I'm still not a 1D fan, but I can now, after all these years say I get it. I've seen and read so much about this man and his life now, ups and downs. In the end, tragically, it seemed to be most of the latter in later years.

Most notably, and this actually broke my heart, I noticed how that genuine, beautiful smile that used to spread across his entire face, at some point stopped reaching his eyes. This is sad, it is tragic, and it is infuriating.

The time leading up to, and the aftermath both - the takes i'm seeing out here is wild and lacking in nuance. It feels like everything always is weighed in extremes, and it is neither fair or realistic. I dont know if I feel this way due to my own personal experiences and struggles with mental health, substance and/or alcohol abuse, or if its because this is the field I am soon graduating (career change dw) to work in, and I see many of these issues close up daily. These issues are things I would argue always goes hand in hand, and it is a never a choice one makes. It is a disease. I will never have anything in common with internet people today, and I will never understand this. Whatever the reasons. I will not speculate further. What I choose to believe in and live by is whatever the circumstance, people suffering from these issues deserve some grace. It is hard, constantly, and every day. No one chooses to stay in this illness, and even if they do manage to get out, it is almost impossible to stay out.

Whatever people have done, that is still just an aspect of a whole. A single line on a piece of paper, a small piece of a bigger, much more complex picture. We are more than the worst thing we have ever done. I have to believe this, both for my own sake and for the sake of others. Life is not black and white, it exists in shades of grey.

I am confused about the range of feelings i've experienced over this, and I'm still unsure why I'm affected to this degree but here we are.

I am sad, I am frustrated, I am disappointed and I am angry. Most of all my heart breaks for Liam, who never got the chance to get better, heal, and find his smile again. I also feel actual despair at the thought of this man, that young boy, passing away thinking the world hates him. There's no fixing that now. He is gone. Please, I beg you to be kinder next time. Show some compassion. Give some grace, be kind or at the very least be quiet.

I'm not even sure why I felt the need to post this, as I mentioned before I never had a horse in this race. The only opinion I ever settled on before this last week was that if I, in an alternate universe was a Directioner, I would be a Liam girly. It appears, after all these years, I still am. I dont know what comes when life ends, but I hope you find your smile again. Whatever else, you deserved so much more than this. You were a complex piece, but still so, so beautiful.

You meant so much to so many, and I wish you could have known that in the end.

Rest in peace, Liam. 🎤🎨💙

[legacyshenanigans]

Before I say this, am I guilty of this myself? Yes, and I can admit that now.

But I think a hard thing about making friend's with some folk you've met online, is USUALLY because those friendships are made through mutual love of the same fandom/character.

And I find especially friendships between content creators and fans can be dicey. Because you have a person who talks to you and likes you because they like certain characters you write about because that's their hyperfixation at that moment. And because you're giving them the content they like, they try and build a friendship with you.

Problem is, and I can honestly tell you, a BIG chunk of the time (NOT ALL THE TIME AND NOT ALL PEOPLE) as SOON as their interests change, you no longer exist to that person, even though they've been acting all buddy buddy with you. It is what it is most of the time, took me a while to realise that properly from both ends.

The good thing I suppose about folk liking you and your content from the shadows, is when they eventually drift, (because you're no longer providing something they want) you are none the wizer of it and it doesn't bother you because of that fact.

The biggest tip I can give from learning and experience on both ends, is dont start up a friendship if you're going to act like that person no longer exists once your interests don't align.

As I said, I have been on BOTH ends of this. I'm acknowledging that I'm not perfect and have been guilty of this myself.

Some folks, you can continue to have a friendship with BEYOND fandom, and with others, it appears to be more difficult for some reason. I dont know why. And that can be BOTH parties faults.

Does it suck? Aye. But It is what it is.

🤍

[the-nightshade-crypt]

My personal favorite headcanon for Nerdy Prudes Must Die (spoilers, obviously) (I start off with a shit ton of just the actual story before the theory, I'm bisexual and autistic, I'm hyperfixated as fuck and these two are so cute, leave me alone /lh)

Max is obviously in love with Grace. Even if he frames it as just wanting to take her chastity, it's clear that he loves her. I mean, firstly, he defends her from bullying despite her being the nerdiest prude. Max himself says to Pete that nobody is a loser until he says they are, so if Max says Grace isn't one, then she wouldn't be. When she comes over to him in their first scene he asks so fucking sweetly to carry her books, like, batting his eyelashes and such a sweet voice. And when she declines he resorts to his mean bully self.

Grace very clearly does not love Max back. Despite her sexual fantasies, and even the lyric "I think im loving you more than I should" in Dirty Girl, she doesn't love him. Cause that's all they are, fantasies. In Dirty Girl she makes it very clear, with her saying multiple times "I don't/won't care about you". And its clear she doesnt want him to like her either, since her fantasy Max specifically asks her to "love me like you dont care." Showing that she really just wants him so she can give in to her temptations. She only sees him with lust, a symbol of her "sinful" desires. A symbol she wants to get rid of by any means to stay pure.

When Max decides to kill Steph first, he screams "you fucking Judas", which causes Grace to show up and shout "So you do know the Bible!" She then follows that up with "I used to have a crush on another guy who rose from the grave. But Jesus never threw a football like you max!" Despite her saying "crush" I fully believe she didn't mean it that way. She just needed to get him on board with her plan, and she knows how he feels about her.

She finally gets him to leave Steph and Pete alone and they have sex. When she comes back, she's smoking a cigarette and states "I needed that." Max comes out from behind the the wall and gets on his stomach, kicking his fucking feet like a tween girl writing self insert fanfiction, and says "Hey, uh, Grace? Where you going? Don't you wanna cuddle a little bit?" This line alone proves to me that he's in love with her. Compared to someone like Ted Spankoffski, who would never do something as romantic as cuddling after sex (at least not with anyone besides the girl he loves), it's obvious that Max has real feelings...

Only for Grace to say "Oh Max. I just gave you a gift. A very special gift. In fact, I just gave you what I cherish most. My chastity." Not only did she successfully fulfill what the Lord's in Black demanded, though we all know they didn't like that Pete or Steph didn't die, she also got what she wanted... to give into her sinful sexual urges.

With Max screaming that it was worth it, and him gone into the black and white, Grace becomes almost addicted to the power of the Black Book. The end of the musical is her taking over Max's role to kill the people she deems deserve it, in her case, perverts.

Now, my actual theory is that since Grace is directly connected with the Lord's In Black, she can freely go to the black and white, similar to how Miss Holloway seems to be able to. With Max in the Black and white... I like to think he's still actively pining for her. Whenever she visits to talk with the Lord's he's just kinda watching and trying to flirt with her and she's just completely over it. It gets to the point where even the Lord's are irritated. But slowly Grace starts to find his flirting charming. Realizing that since she is working for the Lord's in Black, effectively denouncing her Christianity, there's nothing stopping her from finding someone attractive, or wanting to be with someone. Their relationship at this point might stay as mostly sexual, but she is falling in love.

Maybe she makes a deal with the Lord's to bring him back to life, or maybe she's into fucking ghosts and just asks for that idk but the point is... I like thinking that with her doing the Lord's in Black's bidding, she can see max and actually get to know and fall in love with him.

I just really love the idea of Max being a lovesick himbo babygirl, only for Grace to reject him and be an asshole. But Max is a hopeless romantic who finds it hot that Grace is mean to him and he doesnt take it to heart. He's desperate for a positive relationship, seeing that he says his dad calls him a cuck and is very clearly emotionally/verbally abusive at best, and it kinda seems like Grace wants to be adored by someone, the same way Linda Monroe does.

They are in love your honor