#i'm hoping season 4 will remedy this situation?

[rageprufrock]

hello, I hope you're doing well. I was wondering if you could answer a career-related question of mine. I'm a young woman (21) in an extremely male-dominated field. I want to go into project management, but I am not prepared to deal with the insane male egos/fragile masculinity I had to experience during my internships. it doesn't help that I've been a passive person my whole life. how do I overcome my passiveness? how do I even begin to learn leadership and project/people management? 1/

I'm going to be honest, you're catching me at a disadvantage because I'm allergic to project management. Like if I'm sharing an area code with that shit I'm itchy. I'm joking, a little, sort of, because the unfortunate truth is about 50% of my job on any given day at this point is project managements but I still hate it. The point is, I'm not your best point of contact for it, because while I can do it for my specific area of expertise, the practice by itself is not my ministry, if you get my drift. Project managers are lunatics who you will find snorting crushed up Excel spreadsheets in truck stop bathrooms, and for that I fear and respect them.

For the passivity, maybe have some thoughts that might be helpful.

So like, you're probably not going to like hearing this: but oh my God, you're--so young. Like I refer to someone on my team who is 30 this year as the resident fetus. You have nine years before you hit fetus status. So much of you're feeling is only going to be remedied with time and experience, and your fearfulness of speaking or standing out right now in a professional environment isn't a mark of failure in yourself, it's a natural part of your growth and progression.

It is absolutely normal and completely fine that when you were in an intern (or honestly, even early career!) situation, presumably surrounded by people who were more experienced than you and have significant seniority to you, you felt were feeling at sea with the egos and politics.

Here's a dirty little secret, especially re: internships:

Many interns get brought in on projects that are far, far, far beyond their actual scope of capability.

That is because we have no actual expectation that you will deliver any work or usable outputs on it, but we want interns to get excited about what we do, to feel like their work could be important, for them to get a taste of the what it will be like when you actually get your feet wet and have more professional seasoning.

For example, people who summer at law firms get a red carpet experience rolled out to them, and they get to sit in on really exciting high profile client meetings! These are not things that will happen for them again for a long, long, long fucking time once they become associates! Once they've got you in their claws, they no longer care about giving you enjoyable stimulus, now you gotta start billing.

In organizations I've worked at in the past, I was fully happy to welcome interns with like 4 minutes of "experience" into very sensitive high level meetings--with the understanding that (a) everybody there knew they were the intern (b) the objective was to show them what the work could be like and (c) that nobody would actually ask them to throw themselves into the demented fray of the actual work.

The goal isn't to scare you off. We know that the stuff you're seeing a lot of times as an intern is really terrifying, for a lot of reasons. If you're in a room of people with 10 or 20 years of experience on you, then...yeah, it's going to feel awkward. You're not even a full time employee! Of course it's going to be weird and nervewracking! If you didn't feel weird and nervewracked about it, I would ask you to bottle whatever it is you're taking and sell it to become a billionaire.

Beyond that, the rest of it will come with time--truly.

When I think back to the person I was at 21, at 22, I feel such a strange tenderness toward her. I feel so protective. She had no idea what she was doing, and she was doing her best to do her best every day. She failed a lot. She was a mess. The people around her knew it. She knew it. She wasn't the greatest at what she did, or a very good friend, but she was trying so desperately to keep her head above water and only sometimes succeeding.

So much of the vulnerability you're feeling will be remedied in tiny, unnoticed ways. With every day and week and hour, you'll gain some new insight or capability, and some afternoon or month far from today--but closer than you think--you're going to look back and realize you've built yourself an entire suit of professional armor, and have no idea where it came from. You feel passive and ill equipped right now--but that's only because you are ill equipped right now, you just tumbled out onto this strange new world.

It's going to take a while to get your sea legs--just try to be kind to yourself as you do it.

You're going to crush it. I just know it.

[aquagirl1978]

💋 Reigning Passions kisses 💋