#i'm happy to play (and chat!) if you don't mind me dragging you down to bronze level hell and thirsting over fictional ladies

[wosowffc]

NEW GUNNER

Part 1

Today is the freindly against England on home solid in Australia so at least I don't have to a lot of travel. I've been playing with the Matilda's for about 3 or 4 years moving up from the u21s, I keep to myself and get on with each day here just waiting for it to be over, I'm grateful don't get me wrong but I'm not a people person.

I wake up early as per usual blinding myself with another gorgeous aus sunrise, throw on clothes and head down to go a walk , I do this every day getting up 2 hours before everyone while at camp so I don't have to do anything with them like sit in the canteen, not that they mind they would rather put a fork in my eye that sit and chat with me.

As soon as I came into my first camp 2 girls tried to talk to me but were quick to be pulled away by people who have played me or played with me at club and told them what I was like but I don't care I'm better off alone. I'm sat on the beach with a take away morning oats from a local shop watching the waves crash against the rock and the crabs rush along to get on with their days. Soon enough the 3 hours which felt like 20 mins had passed and it was time to go back to get on the bus to the stadium.

They game was perfect we had england right where we wanted them and they were struggling to keep on us. Throughout I got my usual dose of hard aimed tackles and fouls to which I kept my calm, we'll, that was the case until bastard Beth mead drags me to the floor off ball and then when gets up fake falls over me kicking my in the side. Is she for real. I'm about to blow and I know it so I pull her back by her shirt when we both stand cause int her to fall and to end it I step on her arm.

She screamed at the action but I don't care it's just rage inside me took over I try to not let it happen really I do but , she got me booked when I didn't do anything, I'm definitely off now.

A red card is shown and I'm booed off which is fair ofc the fans won't be happy with the action. I take myself to my cubby grabbing some clothes and getting a shower and ordering your self a texi to the hotel, there's still a 20 mins and acutivity after before the bus goes and you don't want to deal with the girls not so early after.

You make your way to you room Back at the hotel putting on a tee and shorts. You share the room with the only person who had been nice to you, Katrina gorry, she was you mentor type person when you came in to the squad at 16. You lay on your bed looking at a dark, dark purple bruise forming on your side wincing slightly as you lay a hand in it. A while later the door opens you see the light glow on the wall your facing, a tear dripping down you cheek not wanting anyone to see.

"You alright" is all you hear felling her sit and the bottom of your bed. "Look at me" she says trying to get you to turn away from the wall which u do wiping ur cheeks.

"I didn't mean to boil over, I'm trying" you quietly let out. To which she gives a sympathetic look

"Her arm was broke , listen I know your trying but let others see that, get some sleep you've got a lot of travel tomorrow" she says giving ur arm a rub and getting into her own bed.

You don't want to look weak, your not weak. You have felt with everyone hating you for years already so who cares, not you. You hate national time, fans don't like you, teammates don't like you it's just all shit you love representing your country but who are you to represent anything your a worthless piece of crap. Tomorrow night you go back to your club, Chelsea, nobody likes you their either not since the moment you arived.

[austerulous]

Actual footage of @erobret and I playing Overwatch last night.

[oizysian]

Don’t Fight With The Birthday Girl

Summary: It’s Lizzie’s birthday and you have a special surprise for her

Word count: 2k

AN: I wrote this a few years back for Lizzie’s birthday but never posted it here, so here it is! Happy birthday to the loml, Lizard ❤️

•

"Elizabeth, your girlfriend's here!" Ashley called out into the crowd of people.

I smirked at the birthday girl's reaction; a blush and a huff as she approached us and pushed her sister - only half jokingly.

"In case you forgot, Ash, I'm married."

Ashley turned to me and rolled her eyes before walking off, presumably to find Mary-Kate and mingle a bit. I looked at the retreating back of her older sister before returning my attention to the woman of the hour.

"You look beautiful, Lizzie." I smiled brightly, taking in her appearance.

She was wearing a black knee length dress with short sleeves, her hair was up in a cute little ponytail and she wore very minimal makeup. She looked ethereal.

"Thanks, Y/N." She smiled, her eyes shining brightly with happiness.

"Did you open your presents yet?" I asked, knowing that I did arrive a little on the late side.

She shook her head and gestured to the table along the back wall lined with gifts. My eyebrows raised in surprise, impressed by the amount of gifts she'd received.

"Wanna open mine first?"

"Should I?" She bit her lip and smiled, looking down at her hands for a second before returning her gaze to my own. "I don't wanna play favorites."

I took a step closer to her, barely brushing my lips against her ear.

"You know I'm your favorite."

I pulled away, watching as she shuddered ever so slightly at the feel of my hot breath on her. With a wink, I walked past her, intending on getting myself a drink and having a good time.

At the drinks table, I met up with the twins who animatedly told me all about their new Spring collection that was coming up. They seemed excited so I couldn't help but be excited for them too. They were both a little tipsy, and handsy - not that I minded because we were all very close. Mary-Kate gave me a nudge and gestured with her head towards someone behind me.

"Looks like someone's a little grumpy."

I looked over my shoulder, spotting the birthday girl with her husband, chatting with some people I didn't know. But Lizzie wasn't paying attention to the conversation - she was staring daggers at us.

I shrugged and returned my attention to the twins, taking a big gulp of my drink.

"I offered to give her her present early." I smirked to myself. "She didn't wanna show favoritism by opening mine and not anyone else's."

"Oh, so that's why she looks like that." Ashley laughed, giving Mary-Kate a knowing look. "She's got a lot of ... built up tension."

I snorted at her words. Elizabeth had tried being so careful to hide her affair from everyone, but the two people she could never lie to were her older sisters. They probably knew about it before she did.

"She missed her chance." I turned back towards her again and gave her a small shrug and only a slight look of pity.

She chose to parade around as the perfect wife instead of getting her gift early.

"You're with us now," Ashley said with a smirk, sliding up to my side. "She'll have to get in line."

I wrapped my arms around both of their shoulders, pulling them close.

"I've never been with twins before." I laughed, and they joined in, all of us enjoying our time together.

I would never hurt Lizzie by sleeping with her sisters. It was all just jokes and I was sure she knew that. A tap on my shoulder got my attention and I released the twins to come face to face with a very unhappy Lizzie.

"Hello there, birthday girl." I smiled at her, finishing off my drink quickly.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" She shot a glare at both her sisters before returning her attention to me again. "Alone."

I nodded at her and she grabbed me by the arm, dragging me away. I could hear the snickers from her sisters as we left and I realized they purposely got me in trouble for fun. Oh boy.

I followed behind her as she led me to an upstairs guest room. I was really in for an earful now.

"Elizabeth ..." I started, attempting to explain what she had seen.

She closed and locked the door behind us, stomping over to me angrily.

"What the hell was all that?"

"All what?"

"That!" She spat. "With my sisters!"

"We were just hanging out." I replied simply, shrugging as I sat on the bed. "Plus, you were mingling with Robbie. What did you want me to do with myself?"

"I certainly didn't want you to flirt with my sisters!"

"Elizabeth," I started softly, placing my hands on my knees and leaning towards her slightly. "I'm not fucking your sisters."

She crossed her arms over her chest and I held my hand out to her, which she chose to ignore.

"I'm fucking you."

"And is that all it is to you?"

My hand dropped at her words, confused as to where this was coming from.

"I should be asking you that."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're the married one, Elizabeth!" I shouted, standing from the bed. "I've been faithful to you this whole time! I haven't even looked at another woman."

Her eyes softened at my confession. She took a step towards me and took my hands which were clenched at my sides.

"I'm sorry," I whispered softly. "I don't want to fight with you on your birthday. I'll just go."

I pulled my hands away from her, swallowing roughly at the hurt expression on her face. Before I could make a move towards the door, she was in front of me, her hands cupping my cheeks.

"Don't." She whispered, her lips pressing against mine in a fevered kiss.

I kissed her back, knowing all this tension and frustration stemmed from the double life she chose to live. I was just as guilty as she was and respected her desire to keep me a secret, but it didn't mean I was always happy about it.

I pressed her up against the door, my hands slipping up her dress as she kissed me sloppily, hungrily, as if she had never tasted my lips before.

"Do you want your present now?" I whispered softly.

She nodded and I hooked my fingers in the waistband of her panties, tugging them down around her knees. My hand slipped between her parted legs, two fingers ghosting against her slit teasingly.

She wriggled the rest of the way out of her underwear, kicking them away once she got them down to her ankles so I could access her wetness without struggling.

"So, that's why you're so grumpy." I breathed against her lips, my fingers just barely caressing her clit. "You're so wet."

"I've been wet since you teased me earlier." She squirmed underneath my weight, trying to get my fingers to move. "I hate when you do that."

"That's why I do it." I dipped my fingers into her heat, gathering her wetness on my fingers before pulling away from her.

"What -" She gasped breathlessly as I used my free hand to undo my pants.

She got the hint and helped me free her birthday gift from the confines of my dress pants. My thick, purple cock sprung out at her and she gasped, running her fingers along its length.

"Is this new?"

I nodded, sticking my wet fingers in my mouth and grabbing her hand, guiding her as she stroked it carefully, as if it would break.

"Happy birthday." I removed my fingers and smiled.

"It's too big." She whispered, almost in awe at the size of it.

"You can take it." I let her guide it between her legs, rubbing the tip against her throbbing clit.

She gasped softly, her hands reaching to grab my shoulders, letting me take control of her.

"You're gonna look so pretty with me inside you."

She let out a breathy moan that I swore I could get drunk on, and I gripped at her thighs, trying to pull her up my body. She jumped and wrapped her legs around me, the cock fully pressing into her heat as I grind my hips against hers, drawing loud, needy moans out of her.

"Be quiet, sweetheart," I whispered into her ear as I adjusted the cock between her thighs. "We wouldn't want anyone to hear you."

I slipped inside her easily and she threw her head back against the door, crying out at the intrusion. Realizing she was a little too vocal, she took a fistful of my shirt into her mouth, biting down as I slowly inched the rest of the cock into her.

"That's right, baby," I cooed, my hips jerking slightly with the urge to just fuck her like an animal. "Take all of my cock. You're such a good girl."

I heard her let out a pathetic whimper as I began to thrust up into her, the sound of our bodies crashing together deliciously loud in the quiet room.

"H-harder, Y/N." She whined, her teeth still buried in my shirt. For once, I was thankful that she wasn't biting me.

I knew that if I slammed her up against the door someone would hear, so I turned us around and clumsily walked us over to the bed, dropping us down as gently as I possibly could.

She released my shirt and took my hand, placing it over her mouth so I could silence her as I fucked her into oblivion. I pressed her down into the bed and slammed my hips into hers, the sounds of her moans driving me absolutely mad.

"You like when I fuck you like this?" I bent down and whispered in her ear, the disgusting sounds of passion and desire she was making fueling my inner fire.

She squeezed her eyes tight and came, her pathetic, needy moans stifled by my hand as her body tightened and jerked beneath me. I waited until she quieted down to release her, her mouth agape, panting heavily as she tried to catch her breath.

"My beautiful girl." I whispered softly, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. "You look so pretty when you cum hard for me."

"Please," she whimpered, her eyes fluttering shut at my gentle touch. "More."

"More?" I questioned, pressing a kiss to her lips. "Can you handle more?"

"Mmm, yes." She smiled up at me, rolling her hips into my own.

She bit down on her lip, keeping up the rhythm and I decided it was time for her to take control.

I flipped us over, her small squeal of surprise drawing a small chuckle out of me. She got comfortable on top of me, pressing her hands onto my breasts and lifting her hips to slam down into mine. I groaned at the power behind her thrust, grabbing onto her hips as she fucked herself on me.

"Oh, oh fuck." She moaned, her brow furrowing as her second orgasm built up inside her.

She threw her head back, a silent scream slipping past her lips as she came again, her wetness soaking me and the bed. Oh fuck.

As she came down from her high, she sighed contently, sliding herself off the cock she feared she would be unable to take. Boy, was she wrong. She laid down next to me, her legs dangling off the bed, and I got up, getting down on the ground in front of her and tugging her towards the edge of the bed. I wasn't done with her yet.

"Y/N, I don't know if I can ..."

"Shh," I hushed her softly, my tongue darting out to clean the cum off of her inner thighs. "I need to clean you up."

I heard her slap her hands against her mouth once again as my tongue swirled along her clit, dipping between her folds teasingly as her hips thrust up into my face. I gripped her thighs tightly as I explored her delicious wetness, her legs twitching around my head. I made sure to absolutely devour every inch of her, feasting on her as if she was my last meal, as if I'd never have this chance again.

I heard her squeal from above me and I knew she was close. I slowly inserted two fingers into her, her pussy tightening around me as I fucked her until her body gave in, sending her into her third climax of the night.

As her slick gushed out of her, I eagerly licked it up, doing as I promised and cleaning her up. She writhed on the bed and I placed a kiss on her mound before rising back up and kissing her fully on the lips. She was dazed, her eyes heavy as I let her taste herself on my tongue.

"Happy birthday, my love."

[tabbycatto]

Hello! I'm so happy that there are people who write for Tanner from Scrutinized!

Can I request imagine with Tanner, if so there is a summary:

Tanner as always sneaks into female reader's home, while she is gone. But then she suddenly come back with her friends, so Tanner hides in her closet. And they have fun and decide to play 7 minutes in heaven.

Don't worry about mistakes at least in this work because I'm not a native speaker too.

7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN - ONE SHOT

warnings: Tanner being a fucking creep, description of death, stalking, noncon touching, shit writing, not proofread!

no use of Y/N

words: 727 (somehow)

(sorry it took 2 fucking years to reply omg)

stalker! Tanner x fem! reader

It’s been two months old routine for Tanner now. Watching, lurking, waiting. He learned the entirety of your schedule, when you go to work, when you sleep, when you wake up. When you’re not in the house, he just loves to go trough your things, today was no different. You went out with your friends on this warm summer evening for drinks. Tanner knew this, he also knew that you are usually gone for at least one hour, which was enough for him to shamelessly go trough your dirty laundry, occasionally shoving a piece of pretty panties in his pocket to smell later. He was proud of his little collection of your things especially your undies. It always left you wondering, searching the whole house for a clean pair, oblivious to this madman’s relentless digits stealing them.

He was in his element, when his ears perked up on the noise and laughter from the main door. He sneaked to take a look at the commotion and there were you with your friend group having the time of your lifes. You all stumbled into your home laughing and chatting with no worry in the world. Tanner had no time to run out of the house and he could not risk being seen. He creeped back into your bedroom and slipped into your spaceful closet. Anticipation gnawing at his ribs.

Some time passed by, there was still loud chitchat, but the bedroom door creaked open. Tanner looked trough the little cranny from the closet. This loverboy almost drooled at the sight of you, he was like a dog in heat. His fingers twitching in desperate need to touch you, caress you, take you, anything. You walked in with a few of your friends, talking. „Come on, guys! We’re not in school anymore! Who even plays 7 minutes in heaven.“ You were protesting. „Yeah, but this will be fun!“ One friend countered, wiggling her brows at you and pushing you further into the room along with your another guy friend, who kept furiously blushing. Tanner’s jaw went tight, his throat bubbling with jealousy, fingers now shaking with rage. „Okay, fine! Just let me go take a piss.“ You pushed trough them into the bathroom. Your friends left the room with laughter, leaving the guy friend alone in the bedroom, waiting for your return. He was nervously pacing around.

Tanner went red with anger. „SHE’S MINE!“ His mind is screaming. He reaches into his pocket, taking out a syringe with lethal poison. He’s slowly stepping out of the closet, inching closer and closer towards that friend of yours. The guy turned around just in time for Tanner to roughly stick the needle into his neck, sending the poison down his jugular. Your friend didn’t even have the time to yell out as he crumbled to the floor in convulsions. Tanner dragged him by his armpits into the closet. After that he dusted off his white coat, adjusting his red tie and hid behind the door waiting for you.

You sigh as you place your hand over the door handle and after a short while you open them. You look around, brows furrowed in confusion, when you can’t see your friend anywhere. You walk into the room, calling his name. The door behind you closes with a loud thud, which startles you. You swiftly turn around and are met with a huge grin of a strange man with an even stranger attire. Before you have a time to scream for help, he’s already clasping a hand over your mouth, his face uncomfortably close to yours. „Shh shh, little one, we don’t want company, now do we?“ He says in a sing song voice, guiding you to your bed, his other hand is on your lower back. You start to struggle in his grip, but he’s too strong. You desperately claw at his chest, kick his shins, bite at his palm, but nothing seems to work. He keeps the sinister smirk on his face. „Now now, sweetheart, stop this struggle before I’ll have to use force.“ His smile never fades, quite the opposite, it widens. You stare at him with fear, your eyes watering. „There, sweetheart...“ he caresses the side of your face, his other hand squeezing at your breast. „i think it’s my turn to play 7 minutes in heaven with you.“

[pollymorgan]

Ex-husband Negan Part 12

As soon as Negan sat down, his hand landed on my naked thigh.

"May I introduce Jacob? This is Negan... my ex-husband," I said, knowing that it would incredibly provoke Negan to be referred to in that way, even though it was the truth. I could tell by his expression that I was absolutely right. Negan stared at me continuously, his eyes noticeably darkening. He did not even acknowledge Jacob. His grip tightened, his long, strong fingers digging slightly into my skin.

"Have I told you how stunning you look today, darling? I feel like you just keep getting more beautiful... Isn't she incredible, Jacob?" Negan asked in an artificially calm tone, closely observing every little reaction on my face.

I laughed loudly and replied sarcastically, "That's probably due to the Botox in my forehead, where I had the deep worry lines you caused me injected away..."

"Oh, I'm sure that's not the reason..."

Slowly, he leaned in towards me and whispered, his sensual lips lightly brushing against my ear and his trimmed beard scratching the heated skin of my cheek. "...more likely due to last night. How many times did you come, my sweet, hm? I must admit, I counted... Three times..."

With his words, my heart began to beat wildly as his hand freely moved a few inches up my thigh.

"I... I should probably go now... Have a pleasant evening..." Jacob's voice interrupted my thoughts, which Negan's words had immediately triggered within me. Images in my mind that were much more explicit than the photo on my phone.

"Oh no, Jacob... why don't you stay a little longer, it would really make me happy, we were just having such a nice chat..." I knew I was only saying this to provoke Negan, as there was definitely no chance of a pleasant conversation between the three of us. I did feel sorry for using the poor guy for this little power play between my ex-husband and me, but it was just too much fun to stop now.

Although Jacob sat back down in his chair, it was clear that he felt quite uncomfortable in his own skin.

I reached for my cocktail on the table and took the last sip. Then I held the glass under Negan's nose.

"Would you be a dear? Jacob enjoys Martinis, and you know pretty well what I like..." I winked at him.

To my surprise, the big man actually stood up and grabbed my empty drink. With his other hand, he suddenly cupped my chin, causing me to audibly gasp in shock as he tilted my head back to give me a firm kiss on the lips. It happened so quickly that I couldn't even think in that moment.

"Leave it, I can get my own drink..." the stranger at the table stuttered, but Negan was already on his way to the bar.

During the time when we were alone at the table, an uncomfortable silence loomed. What had I dragged Jacob into?

I was about to suggest to him that I was very sorry and maybe it would be a good idea for him to leave, but before I could find the right words, Negan placed a full Martini glass in front of him.

He handed me a reddish-yellow cocktail directly into my hand, "Sex on the Beach," he commented briefly, and the grin he wore was all too familiar.

[intoanotherworld23]

Stairway To Heaven

Pairing: Female reader x Javier Pena

Warnings: NSFW 18+ ONLY DNI, yeah this whole thing is smut and sex, sex on top of stairs, jealous Javier, jealous reader, p in v, unprotected sex, swear words

Summary: There’s a reason stairs are better for you, and Javier proves exactly why

Hey y’all I really hope you guys are enjoying my work, and feel free to comment even if it’s just an emoji or writing tip/advice! I welcome all kinds of kind words you have to say! Also, reblogging does make a huge difference and let’s writers work expand even further across more viewers! If you wish to be added to my Pedro tag list don’t hesitate to ask and I’ll be more than happy to add you! Thanks everyone again so much you guys are the best! HEARTS, REBLOGS and COMMENTS are highly encouraged and all are appreciated! XOXO

Check out my other works on my Hall Of Hunks

"You just don't know when to stop do you?" Javier grumbled as you laid across the stairs knees bent with your legs spread enticing him even more.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Acting completely innocent in this current situation.

“It’s all games with you cariño.”

“Only if I win.” Cocking your head to the side mockingly.

"Oh sweetheart you never learn do you?" Watching as Javier crawled up the stairs until he was hovering above you lips pressed against yours. "Teasing me like that at the party."

“You we’re asking for it.” Raising your eyebrows at him as you leaned your head back.

He was chatting up one of the newer women at this office party leaving you by yourself. You already didn’t want to go, and then he has the audacity to flirt with someone else. Feeling your deadly glare from across the room, but he still didn’t come to you.

That’s when you found Steve standing awkwardly in the corner. Laughing at every stupid thing he said, and making sure to touch his arm or chest. Immediately catching Javier’s attention squinting his eyes at you in disapproval.

Excusing himself very quickly then dragging you to the car, and basically driving like a maniac to get home. A rush of excitement coursing through your body was what he was going to do to you.

“I had a right mind to not bend you over one of those tables and fuck you in front of everyone there.”

“Maybe you should have.” His mouth ghosting over your collarbone lips refusing to press against your skin.

“Is that so?” Nodding your head in response as you bit your bottom lip at the thought. “Mmm it would have been really fucking hot.”

His hands were all over you as you wrapped yours around his neck. Gripping onto him when you felt him push his body tightly against you. Feeling how hard he was for you and wiggling your hips just to push him a little bit further.

Javier growling into your mouth as you grinned knowing you got him. Not wasting any time in lifting up the bottom of your dress revealing your laced panties that already had a wet spot forming. Helping Javier unbuckle his pants and push them down his legs to the edge of his ankles.

"This what you wanted?" Mumbling against your lips. "To be fucked like the good little whore that you are."

"Yes." Your panties being pulled to the side a cold breeze hitting your core a shiver running up your spine.

"Tell me how badly you need it Y/N?" He teased as he rubbed the tip of his cock up and down your now soaked folds. "I want to hear those pretty lips beg for me."

"Javi I need you so badly it hurts." Biting your bottom lip as he watched you with hungry eyes. "I want you inside me so badly."

"I don't know sweetheart I'm not believing you." Sighing loudly in frustration as he played his own game with you.

"God Javier please fuck me so hard on these stairs that I can't walk for a week." Pleading up at him as you tried moving your hips hoping you could slip him inside of you.

"That's my good girl."Leaning forward pressing his entire cock inside of you a gasp slipping past your lips. "Holy fuck you are so wet baby."

Lifting his hips back up only to slam down into you. Whimpers and grunts filling the air as he quickly picked up his pace and found a steady rhythm. His head remained pressed into your neck as he nibbled on your skin. His arms enclosed around your head to feel even more close to you.

Moaning loudly into his ear every time he sharply thrusted into your body. Your back pressing into the edge of the stairs, but you pushed through the discomfort, and focused on Javier. Moving your arms so they wrapped around his back. Putting some slight pressure on his lower back to feel more of his movements.

"That's it baby your doing so good for me." Words of praise echoed in your ear when you whined and whimpered for him. "Look at you stuffed full of my cock."

Javier leaned himself up only to watch as his cock would disappear inside of you. Drenched in your arousal making this squishing sound that had him really start to howl like some wild animal. He loved to watch as you would take him so deeply, and was always amazed you took him well every time.

"You want it harder baby?" He teased his thrusts becoming slow and sensual. "Does my girl want me to fuck her harder?"

Clearly catching onto your writhing body underneath him trying to feel more. Even though the stairs were pressing into your skin you wanted it rougher. Your body wanted it. Your body needed it.

"Please Javi fuck me harder." Gritting through your teeth the frustration you felt never receding.

Rocking himself into your whole body to the point you were afraid you two would break the stairs. Feeling as he unleashed all his energy and power into you both of you in a state of euphoria. Seems like you weren't the only one who needed this either.

"God you look so good getting fucked on the stairs like this." Your left hand gripping the railing of the stairs.

Cheeks felt like they were on fire like someone was sticking a hot poker in front of your face. A drop of sweat descending down Javier’s face and onto your chest. Rolling down your chest and in between your breasts. It felt cool for a brief second but then soon evaporated from the heat.

"Just like that." Crying out as your legs wrapped around him like a vine.

"This is all you needed didn't you baby?" His tone mocking as he looked at the pleasure on your face.

The new angle had your toes curling so hard you were afraid they would sprain. You were getting so close you could feel it in the pit of your stomach. Javier didn't once slow down as he pounding into you so deeply he could see a bulge in your stomach.

"That's my good girl so good for me." Pressing his forehead against yours feeling you squeeze around him.

"Oh god Javi I'm gonna cum." Your legs were starting to tremble as your release was vastly approaching.

Your whole body felt like it was sitting on a bed of fire. Your skin was tingling all the way to your toes. Feeling your head spinning around closing your eyes as you felt that familiar coil in the pit of your stomach.

"Cum hard for me sweetheart." That was the final click in your brain covering him in your arousal.

"Oh fuck baby I'm right there." Groaning with a strained voice as he panted heavily above you his cock twitching violently inside you pumping you full of his warm seed.

Leaning his head back down on your heaving chest as both of you tried to catch your breath. Your legs shaking from your intense orgasm as Javier laid slump on top of your body. Leaving tender kisses on your chest as he helped you come down from your high.

Unsure if you were going to be able to move from the stairs. Your arms and legs felt like noodles, and you were a little worried if you tried to stand you’d fall right back down.

"And that’s why taking the stairs is good for you." He joked making you both burst into a fit of laughter.

——————————————

Tag list for everything: @iam-laiya @rosie-posie08 @madzleigh01 @alwaysclassyeagle @mytbel0st @shanimallina87 @marvelstarker-mha98 @powellssugarbaby @lora21 @kmc1989 @sullyosully

Tag list for Pedro Pascal: @pedrohoe04 @k-k0129 @marchai @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @milly-louise @kittenlittle24

[oreharuuu]

éta ritual (6)

Summary: Your apartment's finally cleaned, thanks to Yunho and Mingi. But the stress of university, work, Jieun, and being away from your family took a bit of a toll on you.

Warnings: a lil bit of angst, description of being burnt out, woo and san being a perv, watching without consent

A/N: I lied :) I felt bad ignoring this series so i made a new chapter lol, it's more of a filler with fluff and angst. A lil bit of plot here and there. Anyways, happy reading! P.S. chat me if you'd like to be put in my PERMANENT tag list for every work I've done!

Taglist: @starillusion13

You sighed as you stepped out of the shower, drying your hair as you walked towards the fridge to grab one of the manh drinks Yunho decided to buy for you.

After cleaning everything up, you all decided to order in food since you're all tired. You're surprised when Yunho, who went to kitchen to grab water, stormed in with a clap before smiling. "Let's go grocery shopping!"

"Why, hyung?"

"She has nothing but bottled water, butter, and an opened can of cola inside her fridge," Yunho deadpanned, eyes moving to you as you looked away sheepishly.

"(Name)! How did you even survive?" Mingi asked astonished, which made you glare at him. "Hey! I'm a university student, does it ring a bell that I might have to not spend my money too much?"

Their gaze turned into pity, Mingi dragging you outside of your apartment as you squeaked in surprise. "Hey! What are you—"

"We're gonna buy you food, duh."

"What?! No way, I'm not letting you—"

"Hey," Yunho said as he closed the door, gently grabbing your shoulders. "Think of it as a treat, yeah? Me and Mingi also need a few stuff, maybe we'll buy food and eat."

You continued to glare at the tall man, swatting Mingi as he quietly chuckles at how you have to crane your head to meet his gaze.

"I just feel bad spending your money—"

"Don't worry," Mingi answered. "He's like, rich rich rich, old money basically. So it's not gonna put a dent in his wallet."

"It's about the morality—"

"Oh shush," Yunho cups his hand on your mouth. "Mingi's right. It's my treat, it's rude to decline a helpful offer, no?"

You pursed your lips, crossing your arms before nodding. "Fine, but! I usually have a budget for shopping, so it's still being used."

Yunho shrugged, "Fine by me."

In the end, you did go over budget, no thanks to Mingi and Yunho sneakily adding more items to your cart. Then while paying, Mingi discreetly asked you to help him pick out a new shirt that fits him, making Yunho paid for everything.

You sighed, popping open a new cola before turning on your laptop for background noise. You took a sip, laid down on your bed, and just stared blankly at the wall for you don't know how long.

Work was normal, Mark was also acting normal since you've last met him. University was still shit, Hyein was also busy but she's an angel of course; texting you every now and then with new gossip or just ranting about her project.

San, Mingi and Yunho were all great friends. Mingi and Yunho chatted you everyday to ask for updates or to talk about random things. San, although busy with work, still made time for you to eat dinner together or just binge watch shitty movies.

But with all of that...you still felt alone.

Maybe it's your mind playing tricks, but you felt only emptiness after Mingi and Yunho came by to help you. Going to university only filled the emptiness for a while, you realized that it's only because it took your mind away to actually think about assignments and group projects.

You sighed, glancing at your phone before grabbing it. Scrolling through contact numbers before stopping at one. You grabbed your blanket, quickly covering yourself from head to toe, the sounds from your laptop a bit muffled as you pressed call.

You bit your lips hard enough as the call ring, holding your breath as the person answers after a few seconds of silence.

"Hello? (Name)?"

"Hi, mom."

"Oh, my baby! How are you doing?" Your mom cooed happily at you, realizing that you called her whilst she's washing the dishes.

"It's...fine," You lied. "Just realized I haven't called you in a long time."

"Aww, well I know you're working very hard so I'm fine with you not calling if it means you can graduate with good scores."

You laugh, wiping away some of the tears building up in your eyes as you sighed. "How are you, mom? Anything new there?"

"Same old, same old," She answers. "Your dad met a new friend he could talk about golf, which is making me so happy because I don't understand any if it."

You hum, drawing invisible shapes on your sheets as you continued. "How's Taemin? And Jongin?"

Your mom groaned, making you giggle slightly. "Those boys will be the death of me. They've joined a new dance class since the last class they caused such a ruckus that they got kicked out."

Your eyes widen at the new information. "Wow, what did they do?"

"Let's just say they ruined a teacher's hair with dye because said teacher was being an asshole," Your mother hums.

"Sound about like them," You smiled.

You and your mom talked more, her updating you on the newest gossips around the neighborhood, making you miss your home more than ever. You sniffed a bit too loudly, making your mom pause.

"Honey? Are you crying?"

Seems like those words were your final straw before a loud sob came out of you. "Mom. I'm tired."

"Oh, (name)," Your mom sighed. "Is that why you called? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you. I just miss home and I feel burnt out."

"Because of everything?"

You hum, wiping away the tears on your sheets as you didn't notice the shadow looming over you.

"Aish, it happens to everyone. Why are you worried?"

"I don't know," You answered. "I feel tired. I feel empty and alone when I met some of the most wonderful people here. It's eating me up at how little I think about them, I feel bad because it sounds like I'm being selfish here."

Your mom hums, the sound of water stopping from her end. "You know, you're a bit like your dad."

"Ugh, mom. Don't say that," You groaned, making your mom giggle. She always say that you're like your dad, but there's nothing that made you feel like your dad. From looks, personality, or even attitude.

"I'm not lying. You both are such worry warts about a lot of things. And it's okay to feel like that, honey."

"What do you mean?"

"Gosh, he's gonna hate me for spilling this. But you need to know that your dad really is always worried about you being away from home. Sure, he may only send you stupid pictures of our cat—"

You can't help but snort at her words.

"—but he's alway telling me about how worried he is for your wellbeing. I thought my ears are about to be blown away at how much he talks about you. But he realize that you're a strong girl. His strong daughter."

"Mom!" You wailed loudly. "You're making me cry more!"

"Well, you need to hear this, young lady. It will pass," Your mother chided you. "I know how you're always working so hard for your future, but it's not wrong to put yourself first in certain situations. In this one, maybe you need to spare some time to have some alone time. Or maybe with your friends."

"Don't worry about the problems going on right now, you have loads of time to do that. Right now, you need to calm down, take some time off, and do whatever you want. The feelings you have right now will be gone when you have the right people besides you. Or maybe you like to be alone, just like back then in high school when—"

"Mom!" You whined. "Don't remind me of the dark days."

You can't stand your high school days, although it's not necessarily bad, there's a few things you could list from the top of your head on why senior year of high school was chaotic.

"Well, I can't help it," She laughs. "You were such an emotional human for how—"

"Mom!"

"Alright, alright. Please take care of yourself, honey?"

"I will."

"Are you? Because you usually—"

"Mom, I will do it."

She sighs loudly, a whine in her tone as she teases you. "Look at what you've done to me! Now I'm the worry wart worrying about you, that's supposed to be your dad's job."

"Sure, mom," You rolled your eyes with a smile. "I don't know when I can visit you guys, but I'll tell you when I have time."

"Oh, please come home when you can. Being the only girl here is turning my hair faster to white then before."

You laugh, coughing when feel your throat a bit dry from crying. "I will, I will."

"Say hello to Hyein and Jieun for me, will you?"

You tensed up, hearing something shift inside your room but hummed in acknowledgment and ignored the sound. "Yeah, sure. They're...a bit busy though."

"Sounds like them," Your mom commented. "Anyway, I need to pick up the boys from dance class. They'll be all pouty if I'm late for more than two minutes."

"Okay. Have a safe trip, mom."

"Bye, love you."

"Love you too, mom," You whispered, ending the call with a big sigh as you closed your eyes. The weight inside your heart was lifted, feeling like you could breath fully now after talking with your mom. She's always have been able to do that, while your dad tried a lot of times but it never fully worked. You still appreciated his efforts though.

Sitting up with the blanket still covering you, you blindly grabbed at the tissue box on your table, grabbing it before moving the blanket away when you felt something warm.

"Holy fu—"

"Hi, babe," The demon who licked you smirked, standing besides your bed as you groaned, flopping back to the bed as you looked away from him.

"Go away, I don't need you to lick me again."

"Aww, where's the fun in that?" He whined before spooning you from behind, his nose touching the back of your neck. You felt annoyed when his touch was easily welcomed by you, his presence actually soothes you as you realized how tired you are.

"I never formally introduced myself," The demon smiled against your neck, which made you huff in amusement. "Yeah, no thanks. Don't need to know that information."

"Rude. But if you must know, my name is Wooyoung. You can call me anything you want though."

"Bitch? Loser? Piece of shit?"

"I was hoping for something romantic," He huffs, sitting up as he flicked your forehead, yelping in pain as you pushed him out of your bed.

"No way! I'd rather eat with Jieun than call you pet names," You outright shivered, noting how Wooyoung's eyes seemed to darken at the mere mention of Jieun.

"Speaking of Jieun...were you crying because of her?"

"Huh?"

"Your eyes are swollen and red. Were you crying because of her?"

You rolled your eyes, checking in the mirror to see your eyes swollen, making you huff at how messy you looked. "Yeah, sure. You could say that."

"Don't worry, (name), I'm sure karma will get her back."

"Ugh, I don't even want to know how you know my name," You glared at him, making Wooyoung giggle lightly.

"Let's just say I've been told many things about you through an informant."

"Informant my ass," You mumbled, grabbing through tissues before blowing your nose away, looking away from Wooyoung to save yourself from the embarrassment. He huffs loudly, whining as he slumps to your back as you protest and trying to move away from him. "Yah! What are you doing?"

"You weren't paying attention to me," He pouted, nuzzling his face to your neck making you yell loudly. In a matter of seconds, numerous banging sounds could be heard from your front door.

"(Name)?! Hey, what's wrong?"

"Oh, for fuck sake. Can't this day get any worse," You whine, balling up the tissue before throwing it away, groaning when it missed the trash can.

"Party pooper," Wooyoung grumbles, before pecking your cheek as he moved to stand. "Well, I guess that's it for today! See you later, (name). Oh! And don't forget—"

You hold your breath as Wooyoung leaned closer to you, eyes shutting in reflex as he chuckles lowly. "—We're always with you. We're not gonna let anyone hurt our dearest."

"What do you even mean—"

"Shush!" He playfully covers your mouth, proceeding to kiss his hand like he's kissing you. You slapped the back of his head, making him wince and whine loudly. "Meanie!"

"Go away!"

"Later, babe," He smirks before disappearing instantly, making you breath a sigh of relief.

"Hey! I heard someone inside! You better open the door or so help me I'll—"

"San! Shut up!" You yelled, making your way to the front door before opening it, San already rushing in to check every corner of the apartment. "What is going on with you?"

"I heard you yell, I got worried," He frowns before his eyes widen and quickly dashing to your bedroom, you following silently as he looks around the room with annoyance. He looks like a rabid dog just by looking everywhere around the room, nostrils flaring as he growls under his breath.

"It smells like him."

"Huh? What did you say?"

"I said it—" He paused, eyes squinting at your direction before slowly walking towards you, cornering you against the door.

"What? Is something wrong?"

You screech in surprise when San sniffs your neck like a rabid dog, pinching his ear hard enough to make him yell in pain. "What the fuck, San! Why are you sniffing me?"

"You smell like—Wait, why is your eyes red? It looks swollen! Have you been crying?!" He growls, cupping your face between his hands as you gently brushed his fingers against your eyes.

"It's fine, I just called my mom and my emotions just came out," You whined.

San looks at you with disbelief before he nods, glancing to his left before bringing you into a hug as he basically smothers you with his face like a cat. "I told you if you're having problems, you should come to me!"

"Sannie, I thought you were working. What am I supposed to do?"

He seemingly froze, moving his head as he hugs you tighter. "What did you call me?"

You blushed when you realized the nickname you just gave him, shaking your head rapidly. "Wait! Sorry, I didn't realize—"

"Call me that every time, please?"

"Huh?"

He purrs and moved his head back to your neck, before slowly walking backwards to your bed, lying down with him on top of you. Your jaw dropped drastically when you realize the position was far from friendly, stuttering away as you tried to comprehend what's happening right now.

"Woah, woah! What are you doing?"

"Cuddling," San smiles against your skin, humming happily to himself as you slowly relaxed, albeit your hands are stiff when you placed them against his back. "Uh huh, and why are we cuddling?"

"Because I felt like it."

You rolled your eyes, shifting slightly to a more comfortable position before settling. From the corner of your eyes you saw his eyes open slightly, a blank gaze in his eyes before he sighs loudly. "(Name), you know I care for you, right?"

"Of course, you're always helping me."

"Not just me, Yunho and Mingi are also worried for you."

You frown, subconsciously playing with San's hair as you gaze at the blank white wall of the apartment, not realizing how San seemingly tensed before relaxing with a happy sigh, slowly hugging you tighter. "What do you mean?"

"Is there something you're not telling us about Jieun?"

You stopped breathing for a moment, biting your lips as you tried to think about what to say. You haven't told him the reason for Jieun's bizarre behavior. And when you went to file a police report, you declined San's offer on accompanying you, not wanting to tell him the reason why.

"I don't want to seem pushy or anything," He starts. "I just want to help you, that's all."

"I know, Sannie," You whispered. "I'm sorry for not telling you anything. I just—the reason for all of this happening is so weird and unbelievable that I thought you might think of me as crazy."

"I'll never do that to you," San looks up, a crease forming between his eyebrows, making you smooth them with your fingers. He then proceeds to grab your hand, holding it tightly before kissing it, making you involuntarily gasp. "Please, tell me. I want to help you. I don't want you to deal with your problems alone anymore."

You laugh slightly, nodding as you agreed. After the call with your mom, you felt a little better asking someone for help. Maybe it was a bad idea to hide it and try to solve it yourself.

"Alright, I guess I'll tell you everything from the start." And you told San everything without missing any details, letting him comment here and there when he needed too.

"I saw Jieun here and there in university, but she never really stayed long enough for me to confront her. Maybe it's for the best," You tried to shrug, seeing as San made himself comfortable in your neck. "I don't really feel like acknowledging her presence after what she did.

"True," San sniffs. "But...thank you for telling me all of this."

"I needed a little push from you but I actually feel a lot better."

San smiles up to you, hugging you tighter. "Really?"

"Yeah, thanks a lot, Sannie."

San hums happily, nodding his head before sighing. "Your welcome."

A comfortable silence wrapped you and San, your eyes blinking slowly, trying to stay awake before gasping loudly. "Shit!"

"What? What?!"

"I forgot today's garbage day!" You hissed, standing up before running to the kitchen to grab your trash bag before slipping on some slippers. "Sorry, San! I'm going to be back in a minute!"

"You scared me," San whined loud enough for you to hear, but you only giggle at him before slipping outside, not noticing a figure exiting San's apartment, following you with slow steps before observing you from a distance.

San's smile turned from soft to an annoyed one as he threw a pillow to one of the corner in the rooms, making a yelp rang out throughout the room. "You're such a perv for watching, Woo."

"At least I didn't growl when I smelt someone else's scent in here," Wooyoung grumbled as he shows himself, walking to your closet as he hums to himself.

"And what are you doing?"

"Getting a small gift for myself," He replied. "I missed her so much, you know? Can't believe Jjong and Hwa made me go away and flirt with Jieun," Wooyoung shivered as he huffs in disgust.

"That's what you get for breaking our agreement," San smirks as he teased him. Wooyoung only rolled his eyes. "Like you all weren't foaming at the mouth to meet her alone."

He makes a triumphant sound, holding a pair of white silk panties before clutching them close. "Well, hello there."

"Don't get that one, she likes to wear them," San reminded him as he makes himself comfortable on your bed, rubbing his face and groaning at your smell.

"And you call me a perv," Wooyoung teased back before throwing the panties back, searching again before holding up a black lace panties. "How about this one?"

"It's new. I heard her calling her friend saying how uncomfortable it was after wearing it two times, so take it."

"Hmm, I'll tell Jjong about it. Maybe he'll buy new ones for her."

"Buy a cute pair of lingerie for her too," San added. "I don't think she has one. She'll look really good in any color."

"I'll tell Ssangie," Wooyoung hums happily as he stuffs them into his pockets. "Him and Jongho are annoyed that they couldn't participate as much as we can."

"Patience is key. We'll soon move to our next step of the plan anyways," San smirks as he grabbed one of your hair clips from the night stand. "How's it going with that Mark guy?"

"Not a threat so far from what Hwa said," Wooyoung replied. "Just a bit of a pussy to actually tell her how he feels. So he's not really a priority to us."

"He looks weak anyway," San chuckles at the thought of Mark protecting you from any of them, one snap of a finger from them he's dead in a second anyways.

At the sound of the front door opening, Wooyoung playfully salutes him before disappearing, San not feeling his presence in the room so he must be back to the temporary house they call home.

"Hey," You smile brightly at San, making his heart squeeze at hoe beautiful and radiant you looked. "What did I miss?"

"Oh, nothing that you need to know," He smiles innocently.

[6okuto]

Hiii! I hope it's not too suggestive since I saw your blog is mainly sfw OWBOANALA but I wanted to hear your headcanons about the main cast of Touchstarved, just in general tho, like who's a bottom, who's a top and who's a switch (I personally think everyone there is a switch bc y'know... whatever makes mc happy they're down for it)

If it's too suggestive or explicit for your blog lemme know and we can ramble about it together in chat if you're down for it! (In that case I'll send you my @)!

!!!! I AGREE!! AND DEFINITELY DID MORE THAN U ASKED! My Bad guys. indulged myself a little w one (1) nsft post. a gift 🫶 & OFC i'll also talk more in chat w u / anyone who wants to!!! i always want 2 hear everyone else's thoughts 👩🏻‍💻

leander

switch...sub leaning.? they did Not have to tell me for a leader he sure likes it when others take control. that vere wouldn't spit on him if he were a fire, "oh no, he'd enjoy that far too much." leander saying he doesn't mind vere around since he's fun and "got a real...presence." when he said "anything you want." I Know What You Are.

smth smth addressed by a title, sensation play, degradation said in a praising way, body worship, size kink, overstim, smth smth. i trust vere. spit on him. leader who relishes in giving up control and being taken care of yeah yeah yeah

enjoying being a sub aside he can easily be a service dom

mfw leander gets on his knees and says he'll do anything to please you just say the word. when he touches you somewhere and asks here? is this good? oh the intimacy of interlacing your fingers and bringing your hands to touch him anywhere, everywhere, just as a reminder that you Can

ais

switch - "gives it almost as well as he takes it, even if he's awfully greedy." thanks vere my buddy my pal

i know this little shit (said lovingly) is a tease like dragging his fingers slowly telling you to say please kind of way

figures out what pet names you like and has the most annoying smirk on his face. "oh? did you like that?"

edging. Needing you to tell him what he wants or he won't do anything.

idk i think this guy likes it when you take control though! like get on top and he'll have a stupid cocky grin before he eventually unravels and is moaning whimpering swearing 🤨

i don't have to say anything about the tentacles. moving on

i have a vision where if you let out a noise he looks at you with a raised brow before smirking and then whispering "cute." in your ear before trailing kisses along your jaw But That's Just Me Projecting I Think

vere

switch in a bratty prove you can dom him way. "looks good in blood and better in tears." LETS BE SERIOUS AIS 😂😂 you don't have to tell me twice if bro likes rough sex or is into bondage or edging or overstim or marking or

smth abt predator/prey... i'm not even really into that but i can see it

same thing w u taking control and him saying a stupid joke then being caught off guard,, at least the first time. i know this guy would do shit to tease and rile you up in public just so you'd do something later

he made that biting comment and i believe him. nips at you. seems like he'd leave hickies in places people could see and if you did the same to him Well why would he hide them. also pull his hair

something about fingers in your mouth or vice versa. smth smth making u taste urself Sorry Woah this was bc he was licking champagne foam from his fingers. i had a vision

kuras

switch in an easily doms + teases you, may surprise you with a few kinks, takes a bit to be sub but ends up liking it kind of way. reminds me of om! barbatos + tot vyn. I know what you are. (brat tamer)

the sub thing. like the first time u ask he's Very curious about what you'd do. amused even. the joy of telling him not to touch and teasing him then stopping right before he finishes. and then telling him to be nice and ask for what he wants,, if u go long enough he'll finally groan w a little "please," where his voice cracks WHO GETS ME!

giving me blindfold + temperature play vibes. don't know why.

anyways. can also be soft i'm sure. like a traditionally romantic sort of sense. i don't know how to explain it.

btw "you know, on account of his massive...heart." thank you vere for being the realest person around

mhin

switch vry sub leaning for me but that's bc i like teasing them. and so does everyone else.... oh mhin...

but if u were a soft dom they could use that i think. like Let yourself be close and taken care of mhin. please. OHH praising them to tease them instead of being mean catches them a little off guard. they get flustered and look away again Yeah

i don't see them as particularly talkative during sex,, tbh i think they'd get embarrassed and try to stop themself from making Any noise until you tell them you like hearing their voice...

drags myself through the mud... breathing heavily... leave hickies on their chest... mhin leaving hickies on you... i have no grounds to explain this btw. i just get sensitive chest/collarbone area vibes

still figuring out dom!mhin in my head. charas who are easily teased can often switch it around on u if u say the right thing so. though i don't really see them as being very degrading during sex

misc / multichara thoughts i didn't form properly bc i have to go back to essay writing in a bit.

vere and ais would have the biggest impact on me w the first vulnerable soft sex scene. they deserve it

someone's into the sex after an argument thing. something about jealousy. marking you etc etc

leander telling you you can use him. leander shower sex. leander using magic. leander. help me

has leander just fucked everybody. can he stop blushing when talking about other people + the others' opinions what r u guys implying YOU ARE GOING TO DRIVE ME OVER THE EDGE /J /NM

i don't see kuras / mhin being very into quickies but well. the other 3.

something abt the bad ending w vere tells me he really enjoys when you're vulnerable and exposed to him. trust or whatever

scenario where you tell kuras u think something's wrong and u need a Check Up w the Doctor :( and he gives u a little look before reminding you if you want attention you could just ask then kissing you. Who gets me

mhin smirking . that's all. my legs wobble

[lupaeusarc]

𝘑𝘜𝘚𝘛 𝘍𝘌𝘌𝘓𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘗𝘖𝘚𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘝𝘐𝘛𝘠 𝘝𝘐𝘉𝘌𝘚 𝘐𝘋𝘒

i saw some people doing these end of year posts and i'm in a sappy mood so happy holidays and here's some people i adore !!

@stanfordprepped JARED my bestie my love the light of my life you're genuinely one of my best friends and an absolute day one ride or die i can't even describe how much samemma and cassdell mean to me and our other ships are top tier as well i'm so glad i met you and i'll get to updating cassie's aesthetic and bringing some cassdell to the dash right after this 🤍

@carp3diems ceejay . bestie . partner in crime . sounding board for every chaotic thought that goes through my mind . i adore you and our plots and threads and the way i can just hop into your dms like " hey can i traumatize our muses rq " and you're always down lmao you're so talented and i'm just very thankful for you and for colbemma and for all of our chaos

@multi-royalty maddieeeeeee i love you so much my big little sissy 🥹 the only person i'll write em in the tvdu for and the reason i'm still writing at all i owe so much to you and i appreciate that even if we don't talk constantly you know i think you're the bees knees and you make the rpc a better place you absolute ball of sunshine

@stilesstylelinski trick you fuckin goblin i don't know what i would do without our bullshit or your unconditional emotional support you and i have both had a pretty shit year and i'm just really glad we could lift each other up even a little bit throughout all of it . stemma owns my soul and i'm still just in awe of your portrayal okay you basically pull the boy off the screen

@boundforhale MOM mom i love you mom i'm so grateful for you and for the gremlin chat and for all the support and love you give . you're so talented and kind and you need to be NICER to yourself for taking your time with replies i would be happy with a reply a year okay plus derek is a stubborn asshole it wouldn't make sense if he woke up all the time lol when he does he comes out swinging though you knock it out of the park every time

@ruinedmyself twin 🤍 i think you're so neat okay the way your brain works is so fascinating and the love you put into your muses is like palpable you're so cool and so talented and brooklyn and sam are so fucking funny i can't watch the basement yard anymore without thinking of them . i'll make more edits of them soon the accuracy is just so unreal lol

@inkedmuses VVVVVV listen i have such brainrot for john b and emma right now they make me so happy all of our ships are so cute and interesting and i love them so much you have some of the coolest plot ideas ever it's so chaotic and so fun to just yell ideas at each other and bring them to life

@guiltye LILLY i mean i just could yell forever and i will i WILL yell forever i can't even believe how intricate and deep and unique all of our plots are i'm constantly in awe of your mind every time i get a meme or reply from you i'm starstruck i love you and i love yelling about noah with you and i just think you're so fucking cool and so creative and talented and interesting and strong as all hell and you just never fail to make me smile *mandolin playing* you got all my love 🤍

@n0prom1ses lumiiii listen i love these idiot sisters so much already and i think all of our ships and dynamics are so neat 🥹 i'm sad we lost so much time especially knowing why but i'm so glad nature is healing and that sonny is once again dragging asher by the balls bc frankly it's what he goddamn deserves

i could literally go on for hours but i do want to get some things done lmao so here's some more people that my note to is this : i adore y'all and i hope you have the best holidays / new year and that 2024 brings you everything you hope for 🤍

@svnflowehrs , @escapedfromthevoiid , @hellgiven , @qapsiel , @westwingsolo , @r4chelamber , @ofcrxwns , @ofblackskies , @neverrcry , @gunchamber , @controlledvolatility , @sarcasticsnackpack , @localsalt , @fuckmeupindie , @hstoryhuh , @mecwmellc , @surgcns , @unitcd , @unbearablyindifferent

[sorceresssundries]

I just want to say how much I've been enjoying your poetry!!! It's beautiful.

I've always wanted to try poetry but it doesn't seem to come easily. Do you have any advice?

Well, this is exceptionally kind!

I'll try my best to help, but please bear in mind I'm not an expert or a professional and there is an endless amount of beautiful poetry out there to explore, written by people with more talent than I can even dream of.

I'll offer what I can, but I think creativity is pretty unique to everyone.

I'll put it under a 'Read More', so that people can just skip by if they want.

Here are some tips I can think of:

Read poetry that makes you feel something, even if you're not really sure what the feeling is. Like with all art, doesn't matter how applauded or celebrated it is, if it doesn't move you that doesn't mean you won't be moved. Just means you need to be moved in a different way. Some poets I love to read are: Pablo Neruda, Mary Oliver, Anne Sexton, Emily Dickinson - but like I said, find what moves you and settle into it. I cried at Dr.Seuss last week.

Music - listen to your favourite moody, angsty, uplifting, lyrically charged music. The rhythm of poetry is often as important as the words, and music will help find your rhythm. I have a playlist for when i'm writing, which I won't share because everyone's taste is different, but while writing yesterday's poem I listened to No Distance Left to Run by Blur and it wrecked me.

Speaking of rhythm - read your poetry out loud to yourself. Like plays are meant to be performed, poetry is meant to be spoken. This really helps me to know whether it sounds the way I want it to.

Structure - there aren't any rules! Don't get bogged down in rhyme schemes, iambic pentameters, or any of that nonsense. A lot of poets play around with punctuation, alignment, typeface because there aren't set rules. This is all yours, do what you want with it. Sometimes writing in a strict structure like a Haiku, or Sonnet, is good practice because it forces you to be clear and concise. I like to do this if I have something I want to say, but it gets away from me and I can't mould it's shape the way I would like to.

A poem can be a single line. Don't drag things out because you think it ought to be longer, this dilutes your message.

Decide what you want to say, and get that down first. Mess around with it after. I'm not sure how everyone does it, but poetry certainly doesn't just spill out of my head and onto the paper. It's crafted, not birthed. I get a basic idea down, and then develop a couple of lines I like, work around that, let it sit, go back to it, read it out loud, repeat, until i'm happy with it. That may not be how it works for you, but enjoy playing with it.

The beauty of poetry is that it's deeply personal, yet universal. Write what you want, however you want to and I guarantee it will touch someone, somewhere who has also felt that way.

Be brave! You've got this! You have a voice worth hearing! I felt like a completer wanker the first time I shared any poetry. Poetry is self-indulgent, but fucking indulge in it! Savour and share it!

If you want to chat privately then let's do that! I'm just an internet twat who writes poetry in the voice of a fictional wizard, but hey! If that's someone you want to chat with, then my tower is open to you.

I hope to hear your poetry soon, friend. <3

[m0use123]

It was ticking down to midnight on new years eve, and Asami Sato was deep in thought.

We never should have shared our first kiss.

Never should have started dating.

Never should have fallen in love.

Korra shouldn't have proposed.

None of this would have been possible without that heart transplant.

The wonderful stranger that gave Korra a new life.

Asami glanced over from her spot chatting amongst Opal and Bolin to look over at Korra.

Her amazing wife was cuddling up with Naga on the large sofa. Stroking her as she played Mario kart with Jinora, Ikki and meelo.

Asami suddenly started to well up with tears as she watched Korra loose on purpose to make Ikki feel better.

"Go be with her" Opal whispered into Asami's ear, reading her mind in the way that only a best friend can.

Asami sniffled as she nodded and padded over to Korra, sitting sideways on her wife's lap.

"Hey. Missed me already"?, Korra mumbled into her wife's hair.

The CEO nodded as she traced Korra's heart-shaped tattoo on the inside of her exposed forearm.

She glanced down and ghosted every mark of the tally under the small heart.

Eight.

Eight extra years we got together.

Eight years with my soul mate.

"Hey". Korra said softly, cottoning on to her wife's sense of melancholy. "I'm still here. I'm okay. The old girl's still ticking. Wanna listen"?

Asami giggled despite herself at Korra's nickname for her new heart. She nodded. "Sure. I'd love to listen to the old girl".

Korra smiled and unzipped her hoodie, revealing an angry scar that made a cross shape across her chest.

Asami smiled sadly up at her.

"It's okay Sami. It doesn't hurt anymore. I promise" Korra told her softly.

"But. The scar ......".

"Ruined my modelling career yes. But it's given me a new life. Listen. Being a professional model was amazing, I got to live my dream, I have no regrets. I don't feel self conscious about the scar anymore, it's apart of me now, it's helped me grow as a person".

This was true. Korra was now the face of the 'stitch a broken heart' campaign. Run by the four nations heart foundation. They've raised over ten million yuans since Korra joined the campaign, her revealing her heart condition went world wide in a matter of minutes thanks to her high ranking social media presence.

Asami took a shaky breath and ghosted the scar with trembling fingers. Glancing up for even the slightest glimpse of pain on her wife's placid face.

After seeing no change Asami tilted her head down and rested her ear on top of her wife's chest.

The strong, steady beat of Korra's heart instantly soothed her.

"I told you. There's still life in the old girl yet".

Asami rolled her eyes. Korra's heart was younger than the rest of her body by some years. The 'old girl' would out live her .... if that even makes sense.

"You guys. The count down has begun"! Bolin bellowed from the other side of the room.

One of Asami's many servants hurried around passing out drinks to all of the young billionaires guests.

Asami took a flute glass full of champagne. Whilst Korra (prohibited from drinking alcohol for the foreseeable by her doctor) took a sparkling orange juice.

"TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX, FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE ...... HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!".

"Happy new year Sami" Korra whispered to Asami, before kissing her lovingly on the lips and taking a sip of her orange juice.

"Happy new year baby. And here's to many more", Asami smiled lovingly at her, before bringing her wife into another kiss, which grew into a storm of feather light kisses all over the former models face, causing her to giggle.

"You know there are children present don't you"? Tenzin's voice floated over to them.

"Sorry Uncle T" Korra told her godfather.

The two broke apart and Asami dragged her disgruntled wife over to the make shift dance floor.

The couple happily slow dancing to the pop song playing in the background.

The two had always danced to their own beat, so why stop now.

~FIN~

[musette22]

Hellooo, it's me, I'm alive! Sorry for disappearing again this weekend, I hope everyone had a great one! 💛 Mine was really really wonderful, so, time to overshare because I'm feeling all mushy and tired but happy. These past few days made me realize once again how lucky I am to have so many incredible people in my life 💕 I love them SO much and I'm so grateful they love me too, which sounds cheesy but it's true 😅

I don't think anyone particularly needs these, but I still want to share some of the stuff my friends and family have said and done this weekend just because they're pretty amazing and I kind of wanted to write it down to remember it (I'll put most of it under the cut though, because it got longer than I anticipated. whoops, who's surprised, not me either)

So my friend's little boy, who is three, got a little confused about pronouns while he was chatting away, and accidentally called me a 'he'. His mom gently corrected him like, "No honey, auntie Minnie is a she." And when he asked why, she said "Because Minnie feels like a she. What do you feel like?" And he gave it some thought and said "I think I feel like a he", so she said, "Well, there you go, we'll call you a he then! But if you feel like a she later on, or auntie Minnie feels like a he, then that's also okay. Does that make sense?" And he looked thoughtful for a second, said "Yep", and carried on playing.

Later that day my other friend picked up her almost one year old, looked at his little face and said "I'm pretty sure he's either going to be a construction worker or a drag queen. Maybe both." And then kissed his nose and told him she'd love him regardless of what he'd become.

I was talking to the husband of one of my friends (who is my friend too, but I knew her first), and out of the blue he asked me, "What kind of music do you like to listen to? I know you like Arctic Monkeys, but what else do you like?" So I told him I listen to a lot of 40s and 50s music, among other things, and then the conversation carried on. And then later that night, Billie Holiday suddenly came on, followed by Chet Baker, and it turned out he'd actually made a whole playlist of 40s music because he realised he'd been playing a lot of recent popular music during the getaway so far, and he wanted me to hear something I liked too

At some point I was talking to the husband of my other friend, and when he asked me whether I'd been seeing anyone lately, I kind of shrugged and told him that it isn't really a priority for me right now, that I'm not excluding the possiblity of dating or starting a family, but I'm not actively looking for it either. He just clinked his beer bottle with mine and said, "Cool, that makes a lot of sense. We don't all have to follow the same path in life to be happy, right?" And I was already grateful that he got it, but then he was quiet for a minute and said, "Shit, I'm sorry, I bet you're fed up with people asking you about dating and kids. It's literally no one's business but yours and I'm sure that if you ever want to talk about it, you'll let us know. I won't ask again."

At some point, my friend suddenly dropped down onto the couch next to me, put her arm around me and said "My god, I feel like we've only talked about kids all weekend, sorry about that." So I assured her I didn't mind at all (I adore those kids, I really do), and she was like, "Still, tell me about what you're reading right now, and while you're at it, please show me the cutest picture of Chris you saw this week," and then she spent a while cooing over my boys with me in return.

I was sitting next to my other friends' three year old little girl in the car on put way back from visiting a nearby castle, and she was super impressed and a little overwhelmed in that way kids have sometimes. She kept wondering aloud whether 'the princess' had been at home, and whether, if she'd ever meet her, the princess would want to be her friend. So I told her that of course the princess would want to be her friend, probably even best friends, and then she laughed and said "No silly, you're my best friend" and hugged me, and I kind of melted into a puddle

During brunch today, I was telling a story about how when I was jogging recently, I thought I was being followed by a guy on a scooter, and that I'd stopped to send my mom my location because I was genuinely a little scared. As it turned out, the guy just wanted directions, so I laughed it off and told the story as a joke, but then my brother frowned and said, "No, but it's not okay that you can't even go on a run without feeling scared just because you're a woman", and then told me he read an article recently about the precautions many women necessarily have to take whenever they go out or go on a date, like location sharing, or faking phonecalls, or bringing pepper spray, because we often fear for our safety in a way that men rarely have to. And then he said he'd never realised that before, apologised to me, his girlfriend and my mom on behalf of men in general, and said he wished we'd never have to deal with any of that

I was talking to my mom while we were on a walk, and she told me about an old friend she'd run into recently. So I asked her how they knew each other, and she proceeded to tell me a story about how in the 80s, they used to do sit-ins together to demonstrate for immigrants' and unemployed people's rights. When I asked her if she'd never been worried about getting arrested or anything like that, she just shrugged and said "Not really, because I knew that we were doing it for the right reasons and that was what mattered most."

Anyway, I know they're all little things and they should all be normal things, but I'm aware that they aren't always, or everywhere, or for everyone. And they just made me stop and marvel at how wonderful these people all are, big and small, how comfortable and at ease I feel around all of them, and how amazing it is that they not only exist and work to make the world a better place, but they also care about me in return. Like, not to sound like a hippie, but whoa, I'm feeling a lot of love and gratitude right now ❤️

[nuoyipeach]

No Doctor Could Help When I'm Love-sick

Park Sooyoung X Nakamoto Yuta

warnings!: slight violence, mature scenes, mental health issues

tags: @yutahoes

"I'm off to work, don't do anything stupid." Sooyoung announced as she bent to put on her shoes. As she finished and stood straight, a pair of hands wrapped around her waist, a body suddenly clinging on to her making her sigh.

"Skip today."

"And who's gonna pay for the bills?" she answered sarcastically.

The man chuckled, and brought his lips closer to her ear. "If you'd let me go back to work, then maybe I could help out."

Sooyoung moved out of his hold and grabbed his face, looking worriedly at him. "I'd rather work my butt off for you to stay at home than that." she scowled. "You promised me Yuta, you'll never think or speak of it..."

She knew Yuta since college, and they became close friends, and she fell in love. After graduation, he disappeared, but her feelings didn't, and during her internship at the hospital she found him again.

In the psych ward.

She found out from Johnny, a mutual friend, he started doing odd jobs around the town to earn extra at the beginning of his degree, but through one ended up doing some dirty work for a mafia. He left before they could drag him in anymore, but the deeds had been done, he had blood on his hands, and the trauma lead to several nights where he couldn't sleep, the image of his actions floating in his mind. And then he lost it, he played with knives, the weapon he used, almost hurting the people around him, and in the end his friends had him admitted into the hospital.

She asked permission to join in on his treatment, and it was through that process she found out he loved her too, evident of all the times he scratched her name into whatever he could find (including his arm).

Yuta was stubborn, he yelled at the doctors every day, always the same thing that he couldn't be cured. But one look at the woman he crushed on and he felt better. He wanted to get better for her, and his improvements convinced the doctors he was OK to be released.

Though his dangerous habits of playing with knives and anything sharp remained, Sooyoung lived with it, she trusted he wouldn't hurt anyone or anything, and also made it a rule to never speak of his past. And he lived by it. Every day she'd go to work, he'd stay home finishing the list of chores she'd leave him. She found that he would keep himself busy by trying to please her, and used it as an advantage to keep his mind off of anything dangerous he might think of.

Smiling back at her, he moved forward and kissed her, and Sooyoung wasn't one to reject his affection. They pulled away and she brushed his hair down with her fingers. "Get the list done, OK? I'll be back soon today." she pecked him once more before going to the door, turning back for a quick second. "I love you."

That made Yuta feel even happier than ever, hearing those words from her were the only thing better than being with her. "I love you too!" he cheered causing her to giggle before she finally left. He turned back to the apartment and sighed. "Alright. Let's get this list done, she'll be so happy."

>>>

Sooyoung froze on confusion hearing the person on her phone.

"I assume you're his emergency contact from the bracelet, he's currently admitted to the ----- Hospital psych ward."

Yuta was in the same hospital she worked at, as a psych patient, again. Instead of answering she simply ran off from chatting with her coworkers and headed towards where she knew patients were kept. She walked around, heart in her throat from fear and worry, trying to find any sign on him, until she heard some male voices yelling.

Following the voices she arrived at a padded room, where she saw 4 male staff trying their best holding Yuta from escaping, and one more trying to get the knife out of his grip. "Stop! You're hurting him! It only makes things worse!"

The doctor in charge turned, confused by Sooyoung's presence especially after noticing her tag saying gynaecology. "I'm his wife, and I've treated him before." Sooyoung explained. "Don't use force, tell them to leave the room and let me in, I know what to do."

The doctor looked sceptical, but nodded and called the men out from the room. The moment Yuta felt free he dropped to the ground, breathing heavily for a few second before looking towards the soft walls. "Yuta..." If it wasn't for the familiar voice, he would have started stabbing them immediately.

He slowly turned as the door shut, and saw the figure of his wife. She had taken off her white coat, a reminder to him that she was here as nothing but his wife, and walked closer to him. She sat on her knees in front of him and cupped his cheeks to make him face her, and saw his eyes soften once they made eye contact.

"Let me." she spoke softly, taking the knife from his hand and tossing it aside. His tears started, and like a child he moved into her embrace, crying into her chest. "It's OK, it's OK. Talk to me when you're ready. I won't leave you." She hugged him, kissing the top of his head every few seconds.

Sooyoung peeked and saw the doctor had switched off the tint from the window, his and the attendees faces in awe at how she managed it so well. It wasn't even in her department, yet she was quicker at the job than him.

Slowly Yuta moved out of her hold and looked at her. "I went out because we ran out of eggs... this man tried to harm a woman... I tried to stop him but then he tried to stab me... that knife is his... I grabbed it..." he showed his bandaged palms, tears forming in his eyes again.

Sooyoung held his hands and caressed the bandages, noticing him hiss softly at the pain. She held his face again and spoke softly. "I'll get your report, and we'll go home together. I'm not leaving until you're discharged." she kissed his cheek before getting up, pulling him to stand with her and sat him on the bed. "Be good, please." she pleaded, and he nodded.

As she left the room with the knife, the doctor stared at her still in shock, and before he could ask she was already answering. "I've known him many years, he's like this because of severe trauma. And yes, call me crazy, but I married him even after. I still love the man he was, and he still is that man, when he's not triggered." She put her coat back on before reaching for the report, filling in the contact section. "I'd like for him to get discharged soon. The longer he's kept here the worse his condition will get. I'll be waiting here until then. And if you'd like, I will consent to sending you updates on him for a certain period, but trust me as soon as he's home, give him two days and he'll be normal again."

That was a half lie. He'd be normal, but his normal wouldn't be considered so by the doctors considering he still plays with sharp objects. But Sooyoung knew he meant no danger to anyone, as long he wasn't triggered by anything.

In two days Yuta was home as promised, and the first thing the couple did was take a shower together. Yuta sat on the shower bench while Sooyoung washed his hair since his hands still had fresh wounds. He wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned his head against her tummy while she washed the suds off his hair, smiling at the way he moved into her touch when she combed through it.

"Alright mister, my turn." she pushed him out only to see him pout.

"Can I watch?"

Sooyoung scoffed and laughed at him, but nodded as she turned away to wash herself this time. And all Yuta did was really just sit and watch. Whenever Sooyoung would walk around partially or fully naked, he would simply stare and smile, as if eyeing the most beautiful artwork he had seen.

And she loved that about him, the way he would just stare at her as if its the first time seeing her like that, sometimes throwing in random compliments about any and every part of her.

Like he did now in the shower. "My wife has such a sexy back." he blurted, causing her to laugh as she turned back to him shaking her head. "I wish I could help you wash up today..." he said more softly, sounding dejected.

Sooyoung turned to him and smiled, cupping his cheeks in her hands. "The moment your hands heal and you can touch water and work with them, we'll take a shower again together before anything else, OK?". He pouted with a nod, and they soon finished their shower.

She helped him to bed, caressing her fingers through his hair as he laid his head on her chest while she watched the TV in their bedroom. Yuta was quick to fall asleep, snuggling into her which caused her to chuckle. She looked down at her husband's face, sleeping peacefully, the sweetest man she's known. There was nothing but innocence in this man (maybe except for when they're intimate) and it hurt her, a sudden wave of sadness crashing over her mind as she wondered how could someone like him get into a situation like that.

She turned off the TV and scooted down a bit, pulling him closer as he unconsciously followed, nuzzling into her chest. She played with his hair as memories of what everyone around her had said came back when she was marrying this man.

Her family. You're doing so well in life, why are you taking in this kind of a set back. He's psycho, he'll destroy you, why him?

Her friends. We know you love him, but do you really think he's worth it?

His family. Are you sure? We won't blame you if you want to leave him.

His friends. We haven't given up on him, but why are you trying to accept him the way he is? He should fix himself for you.

There's a reason she keeps limited contact with everyone. No one deserves to know what they're going through, whether good or bad.

Yuta knew she saw him the way no one else did, or ever would. What he did was just a facade, she knew inside he was a scared man. And the recent accident was proof of it. He didn't harm anyone, yet harmed himself, and resisted whoever approached him aggressively.

She noticed all this, and knew exactly how to love him. She knew him, inside and out. Even when his psych evaluator questioned her as a doctor, she'd say the same thing.

Love is love, it's the best medicine, yet an incurable disease.

Sooyoung kissed his hair before closing her eyes, hugging him tighter, and whispered as she drifted off to sleep. "I love you Yuta. No matter what you're going through, I'll always love you."

>>>

another rushed ending😓 haven't been able to fixate endings recently despite having all the plotlines figured out hhhhh

also I know lovesick means smthg different, but that's why I named it love-sick heh I just liked the title too much🙂

[inkoherentbabeler]

uhhggg... I want to post, be happy, talk with people, genuinely express myself and all the sorts... but fuck me, nobody I live with is even open to the idea of commmunicating openly.

(after the rant post) hehehoo, I am drained from letting my emotions run wild... I don't particularly care if anyone reads this, it's all deeply personal but I just needed to scream it all out into the void of the internet.

Rather disjointed thoughts strung together.

WARNING: TACTICAL RANT POST inbound...

My mom literally went out of her way to make our weekly grocery trip shorter because I expressed that I didn't enjoy her telling me off for assuming (a human function I was taught to do to seem normal) she would get premade pizza dough (like she has for my whole existence) when I wanted to make pizza instead of making my own dough (which I have done before after SAYING I wanted to). She admitted to ASSUMING I wanted to make my own dough because "you like to play around in the kitchen"

SO FUCKING CONDESCENDING!!!

THEN! THEN!!!!! my STEP FATHER decides to speak for me after I make perogies from SCRATCH (was walking around the kitchen for ~4 hours) and ended up with my brats being RAW in the middle. My grandfather (who I don't mind, but am awkward around because he blatantly supports people and things that don't like me very much) was commenting through the afternoon and evening on my cooking and politics. After my step father (who mind you has made no effort to bond with me in the 14 years he has been in my life until now when he complains to my mom that he doesn't feel like I like him very much and he wants to come to the bookstore with us... and when he did he didn't add anything, in fact he made it more stressful by dragging me into the spirit halloween) awkwardly kept commenting that "it's okay to mess up" and "you're still learning" and all that bull shit that he says to try to seem wiser, my grandfather walks through the kitchen and comments about how smokey it was (burnt the brats while cooking them) and this cunt has the audacity to speak for me and say "it's all a part of the learning curve pops" and i cannot help myself but hunch over the stove clenching my fists stopping myself from bursting out to avoid another situation because these people hate when I am calm and I tell them how I feel.

do they have no awareness? for the past 3 and a half years I have sung the praises of speaking with eachother and communicating feelings, my therapist a year ago fully agreed with me and told me to do what I had done in the past, calmly bring up the points of contention (and while me 5-6 ish years ago wasn't so elegant and kept the blame on specific people I haven't done that recently) but still, my family cannot stand being confronted with the fact that they are not perfect, even if they claim they aren't. I haven't even brought up the heavy hitting stuff that made me denounce them when they pinned me down and tore my only friends away from me (literally, had a group chat of friends on my phone and because my rp bio had "girlfriend: taken" in it I was pinned down on the ground and was searched for my phone... love knowing the fact my mom was almost an FBI agent until she got pregnant with me :) ).

i'm going to keep venting, i've been at the breaking point for a few days now and I need it.

The fact that I am what stopped my mom from pursuing the life she wanted to live has done numbers for my self confidence. being told that "you look just like your father when you get mad" makes me ask why I wasn't fucking aborted or put up for adoption. That gets into the territory of darker thoughts that I don't want to go down.

Recently the thoughts that I should have killed myself are surfacing again because now I can't let myself do it, I recognize the value of my life and it makes me sick that I am such an ambitious person for wanting to save someone's life. That is my goal in life, even if it means just adopting a kid and giving them a good life. Hell I fucking was so delusional one day that I imagined a future like that and I had to slap myself upside the head because I have no right to fantasize like that.

I have also recently come to terms with my relationship with religion. I don't particularly have any faith in 1 god, or religion, but I know that I do not have any place in any sort of paradise. I am a betrayer, out of cowardice I ran away and after attempting to run back to the person I can confidently say I loved and still hold feelings for, I even messaged them multiple times without a response before running away the next day, being unable to bring myself to face absolution. The way I speak of them in my head is almost reminiscent of a knight would his charge, I am a deranged fool.

I have come to realize while writing all of this, I crave so much more while saying I don't deserve shit.

I haven't been able to joke around with friends for years, whenever a dirty joke pops into my head I can't just say it I have to trap myself in the corner of my room and giggle to myself as I develop unhealthy coping mechanisms like parasocial relationships. I haven't made a new friend since the beginning of highschool and I got my ged last year.

and of course when I had a group chat of people I actually conversed with during the summer, we all fell apart after 2 of us left the group chat. tldr we were all doing a group rp scenario (first one in years i was interested in and had the confidence to partake in while I was away from home at work).

I miss working... election season makes it so hard to get good work and the places I want to apply is hours away from home.

ANOTHER THING I REMEMBERED THAT MAKES ME MAD!!! My parents are all like "well we didn't get gifted a car for our birthdays when we were your age" but aren't your jobs as parents to make your children's lives better than yours? They've known I've wanted a motorcycle for YEARS and my grandfather has had an extra (not too heavy) motorcycle since before i was born. I now have the money saved up to potentially buy that motorcycle and make it my own, but the thought still counts.

I think I don't deserve the title of a "self made" man, (I don't even think of myself as exclusively a man) but I think I deserve the title of "Independent" because my parents have refused to play a positive part in my life.

In the tale of my life they are not going to be major roles for more than 3 chapters. Not that my life will be a tale of any renown, but the thought still counts...

I so strongly desire to love and be loved, so I hide this sentiment in the bowls of this post so that one day someone may know my desire.

tomorrow i vote for the first time in my life. i wish i was able to drive already so i can do this alone. it would provide me so much clear mindedness. i am going to dress up a bit so I can feel like me when i do it.

god, how i want to just let Koda know how much I still love them. I need to get out of this damnable house so I can cry to them asking for not forgiveness but a chance to get to know them again. I think it's been around 4 years since i ran away from them, and 6 since we met. I need to at least know that they are alive and well.

[nefkyo]

Trying my hand at this one cause 'tis the season (it's only Christmas morning and I'm already tired)

"Dad, dad look!" came a tug from below. Wilbur looked down at Fundy, then at what he was pointing at, jumping up and down.

Not too far ahead, there was a little fenced-in area with giant candy canes and wrapped, sparkling gifts all around. There was a pretty small line of parents with their children, who couldn't wait to get in. Sat on a red throne on a small raised platform was none other than the man himself, Santa.

"You wanna go say hi to Santa, bud?" Wilbur asked the clearly already on-board Fundy. "Yeah! Can I go?" he asked gingerly. "Alright, but I'll take you so I can buy our- ...groceries."

(Wilbur was finally getting the hang of not spoiling Fundy's innocence. Telling him where kids come from after he overheard a crude joke from the tv was an endeavor already.)

While they waited in line, his mind wandered. He actually never really liked mall Santas. What's the real purpose of places like this aside from the picture? To take surveys on the most popular toys? Or are they really just here to make the children happy? No, there's no way. Is it for publicity? Because parents will decide to go to the mall and take the kids because there's probably gonna be a mall Santa? Who the hell would--

In his thinking, he didn't realize he was taking Fundy inside too early. "Sir, I'm sorry but Santa can only talk to a child at a time!" said an elf gently, putting a hand in front of him. "O-oh, I'm so sorry." he replied, snapping out of his intricate thought patterns. "Why were we going in already?" asked Fundy. "Sorry champ, I just got distracted. I was thinking about the candy canes. You ever wonder how they make them?" "I dunno." said the little boy looking up at them. "How do you make the giant candy canes, Mr Elf?" he turned to the elf from before.

Wilbur prepared to meet with a drained mall worker who'll look down at his son and just say "I don't know." dryly. But that didn't happen. Instead, the elf in his red and green striped attire smiled genuinely at Fundy. What a pretty smile, too. "We make all of our candy in the kitchens back at the North Pole, and then Santa uses his magic so they become huge!" he answered gingerly. "Really?! Santa can do that??" "Sure he can!" half-whispered the elf to Fundy "I saw him do it!" "That is so cool! I should ask Santa if I can get his powers!" said the little one back to his dad, who was definitely not looking at Mr Elf like a tourist looks at a statue he'd only seen in books before. "Mh- oh, I don't think that'll work, champ. Santa needs that magic to deliver all the presents in time." he answered quickly, trying to break eye contact with Santa's helper. "Oh, look over there! It's your turn!" the man said pointing over at Santa. "There he is!" whispered Fundy while he basically dragged his father to meet the man of the hour.

While Fundy and Santa chatted away, him definitely asking for the keyboard Wilbur already knew he couldn't afford, the elf stood next to him. "He's adorable." said the helper, almost startling Wilbur again. "Yeah, got all that excitement from his mother." "He definitely has the eyes of his father, though. Can't take his eyes off every small detail for a minute."

Wilbur did feel himself flush with embarrassment. "I'm so so sorry, I--" "It's alright, people are surprised when we play along. Usually doesn't happen." shrugged lightly the helper while adjusting his striped hat. For an elf, he did have pretty long hair. They framed his face nicely. "Did you know they installed an indoor playground nearby? If he likes running as much as he likes talking, he might like it." "Oh yes, he is definitely a runner." he replied "Just this morning he refused to wear his jacket, said 'Jackets give me wind resistance, I'm so much faster without it!' and I'm like, 'Wind resistance? It's December, it's all wind!'"

They found themselves snorting and giggling quietly at Wilbur's stories of his son, while he was just sitting a few feet away. After the photo, in which Wilbur will find out later he is even taller than Santa, Fundy he climbed off his lap and went to hold his dad's hand. "I'm done!" he said assertively. "Yeah, did you tell him what you want for Christmas?" "I wanted to ask him if I could have his powers, but I guess you're right, maybe he needs them more than I do." "What kind of powers would you wanna have?" asked the elf while accompanying them out of the candy cane gates. "I want the power to stop time so I can defeat all the bad guys in one go!" "He saw X-Men the other day." Wilbur whispered, making the elf coo silently. "Hey Fundy, y'know what Mr Elf just told me there's a playground nearby. Do you wanna go?" "Really?! Thank you Mr Elf!" "You're welcome, bud! Merry Christmas!" answered him, not expecting the boy to come up to him and give him a quick hug and then running off. "Ah- Fundy, wait!" Wilbur managed to say before he turned the corned without him. "Listen, uhm..." spoke the elf, losing a bit of confidence and replacing it with a nervous laugh. "Y'know I'd really... Like to hear more stories of you and the little guy. So, y'know, if you ever think about it, uh..."

Am I being asked out by a Christmas elf?

"...Maybe, I dunno, we could get a coffee nearby?"

I'm being asked out by a Christmas elf.

"Oh, y-yeah, sure! Hold on, hold on, I can give you my number, let me just..." Wilbur said, silently panicking a little as he scrambled to get a blank page of the notepad in his pocket and scribbled down the digits. He handed it to the elf - who was definitely not expecting himself to get that far - and let him read it for a moment. "Wilbur & Fundy" read outloud the elf with a smile. "Yeah, yeah that's us...!" he answered while scratching the back of his head. He found the elf extended a hand to him casually. "I'm Alex. Friends call me Quackity."

Since we're a bit festive today fic idea where quackity is one of "Santa's elves" as in he works in a mall where he just stands by and help kids meet the mall Santa or wtv, one day Wilbur takes Fundy to the mall and Fundy asks to meet Santa, Wilbur agrees and so when it's fundys turn to take a picture Wilbur stands by the side and spots quackity!!! And shit goes down from here

[ddejavvu]

hi lovely! could i request fratboy!james who organizes a pool party and when you get there he's absolutely obsessed and in love (even more than before) and his friends keep teasing himmmm <3333

It's your first time seeing James shirtless. You've seen his stomach, once, when he'd wiped sweat from his brow with the hem of his shirt. But the swim trunks that hang low on his hips don't cover his chest, and you desperately try tearing your eyes away from his body to look into his eyes.

When you do, he's equally awestruck. You hope you're holding together a little better than he is, mouth slightly agape as he stares.

"James," You greet sweetly, drinks in hand as requested by his friends, "Thank you again for inviting me." You're no idiot, an invitation to hang out with James and his friends is a big step only three weeks into a relationship.

Remus greets you with a nod and a shy smile, snagging a beer from the cardboard carton hanging from your hands. He glances at James questioningly when the man doesn't reply, and finds his friend frozen.

He lets out a snicker, the first laugh you've heard of the quiet man, and knocks the cap of his beer into James's chin, nudging it shut.

"Way to play it cool, mate." He goads, striding back to his deck chair.

"You- you look stunning." James stammers, eyes shining, "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," You feel a weight lift off of your shoulders after James finally speaks, knowing he was silent in appreciation.

"Let's come over here," He points to where Remus retreated to, joined by, Gideon, Frank, and Alice, who'd told you she was tagging along too. You send her the same sweet smile you'd given Remus, happy to have a familiar face there.

James hooks an arm around your waist, keeping it respectfully high towards your back more than your ass. His feet are wet and leave footprints behind him, your flip-flops dry in contrast.

"Catch any flies?" Gideon smirks from over the can of soda he's drinking. James has half a mind to chuck one of the beers you'd brought at him, but he's certain that'll scare you away. Instead he brings you in for a firm kiss, blindly taking the beer from your hand and setting it on the table beside him as his eyes flutter shut.

He hears Gideon mumble something, 'message received,' and he holds it for a few seconds longer than he needs to, because he can't seem to break away. Your brain is foggy when you pull back, and your eyes shine as you stare at him.

"Come on, love," He grabs your hand tight in his own, gesturing to the pool where Sirius and Fabian are chatting, "Let's go grab Sirius's ankles and drag him down."