#i'm happy one of us can keep up but we're gonna end up just. dead on the floor

[havent-thought-of-a-name-lmao]

i started hurting like in the middle of a call w my friends and i'm just like. why would you do that Right Then. why does my shoulder hurt. i've literally been sitting in one spot all fucking day doing nothing that would aggravate my pain. it's making me want to cry. like did i do something?? did something trigger it??? or did my body just go "fuck you" and start this shit?? ughhhh i wanna cry i hate this i hate this fog i wanna just disappear i'm so tired

[kingkat12]

fuck-me eyes and first times (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, piv sex, loss of virginity, inexperienced sex?, oral sex (female receiving), mutual masturbation, awkward real moments lol, dry-humping, use of contraceptives, drunk driving, Roman using his powers for good?, blood, FLUFF, a dash of angst

summary: you've been unlucky with your first times all your life-- but tonight, you're sleeping with the equivalent of your shooting star.

word count: 12,140 (i love you guys, do u see)

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11

a/n: FINALLY THEY’RE FUCKING ISTG?? tihiii this is a bit of a different chapter!! i'm dead tired of reading smut where everything goes perfectly the first time and they barely communicate, so hopefully this will be a bit more realistic (hopefully!!) sorry for the wait, and hope you enjoy!!!!!!;)

The first time I broke a bone, I kicked my foot into the wall in a fit of rage.

The first time I got an A on a test, I cheated by writing the answers under my skirt. 

And the first time I lost a friend? That was the story of how I got here in the first place.

To say my track record for first times was bad, was an understatement. I didn't see myself as an angel of the world. However, as I glanced to the side for a brief moment at an intersection, I looked directly at the man who'd often joke he was the devil. Roman had spread out in the passenger seat, still a little drunk as his long legs rested against the dashboard. It didn't matter how many times I told him to take them down, that if I were to crash his car he'd fold in two and die-- he didn't care. 

We were still a little intoxicated from the party, but I was in a better condition than him, which was why I was driving; something he'd never let me do if he wasn't in this state. Roman's head lolled back against his seat, his eyes closing as he hummed along to the music. Space Song by Beach House was always my favorite song to drive to at night, and I was glad he seemed to like it as well.

The first time I heard this song, I had been driving home after getting introduced to Letha at a party. I was over the moon, happy to have finally found a person in this wretched town that I could enjoy the company of. I had been so dreadfully bored of all the others. 

Letha was a good hugger. A good listener-- never scared to tell the truth, especially as we grew closer.

"Roman is my baby cousin, I love him to death, but damn he can be annoying," she had said, smiling at me as she leaned against the kitchen counter. "The amount of friends I have lost to him is just crazy. Every single one seems to fall over like dominoes whenever he's around, and honestly? I don't get it. Maybe it's because we're related and all, but there has to be a fucking limit to how many times something like this can happen? How many times can he sleep with my friends and get away with it? Him doing that is the same as me sleeping with Peter, it's just not okay! I would never fucking do that! This situation is becoming hysterical, to be honest."

I remember frowning-- "Hysterical?"

"Yeah... If I wasn't so pissed at him, I'd just laugh at the absurdity," Letha's green eyes remained kind despite the heaviness of the topic. "But at the end of the day, I'm glad I get to keep you to myself. My previous friends were nothing compared to you."

Letha's words were sweet, but something felt off. I smiled as I spoke, hoping to keep my query a light one; "What do you mean, keep me to yourself? Gonna chain me up, Letha?" I gave her shoulder a nudge as she laughed. 

"Not like that, you freak! I mean that Roman doesn't seem interested in you at all, so I feel safe that you'll stay. And if he were to be, you'd never do anything like that to me," She put away her empty can of beer, and something in her eyes shifted just a smidge-- I wouldn't have caught it if my senses hadn't been sharpened by the mention of his lack of interest in me. 

"... Right?" Letha asked, urging a response. It seemed to dawn on her that she sounded on the brink of bitterness, and she broke out into an even wider smile to compensate; "You don't seem like the type to sleep with my cousin, but maybe I'm wrong?"

"Never," was what I had answered that night.

Never... Gosh, I was delusional to think I could behave. 

Once again, I glanced at Roman at the next red light, watching the way one strand of hair strayed from his stylings and laid in a soft wave over his forehead. He opened his big, green eyes, smirking as he realized he was being watched-- "Eyes on the road,"

It was embarrassing how fast I blushed. I quickly nodded, gripping the steering wheel harder as I fixated on the red light above us. "Was it the next intersection I needed to get off on?" I asked, hoping not to linger on the subject of my peeking. "Could you maybe turn on the GPS on my phone just in case you fall asleep?"

"I'm not sleeping," Roman prompted, holding out his hand to take my phone.

As I reached for it in my back pocket, I felt it vibrate as the lights turned green. I gave Roman my phone, in a rush to not miss the light even though we were the only ones on the highway. "Who's calling?" 

Roman didn't answer me-- I pieced together who it was when he started greeting my mom.

Oh no. 

I freed one hand from the steering wheel, trying to get a hold of my phone as Roman quietly laughed at my attempt. I didn't succeed; "Yeah, she's here," he said, grinning as he motioned for me to keep driving. "I hoped to have her stay over at my place tonight, as my mother is desperate to meet your lovely daughter."

I rolled my eyes, mouthing a simple fuck you. Roman had to bite down on his lip to suppress a laugh-- we both knew his mom was out of town and that his intentions were far from anything as pure as to introduce me to her. 

My mom seemed flustered by his pleasantries on the other side of the phone, but I couldn't make out the specifics of what she was saying. It didn't sound like she was objecting, though. 

Roman nodded along as he turned down the music on the stereo and (finally) removed his legs off the dashboard. "No, of course, I wouldn't dream of giving your daughter any alcohol! Yes-- Yes, we were at a party just now, but we're both sober as rocks!" He glanced at me, mischief dancing in the green of his eyes.

The look on his face now was priceless. Although he was lying to my mom right up her face (her ear?), he still looked damn charming as always.

"Uh-huh..." Roman mumbled, now reciting his phone number at her request. "We'll probably be up having dinner, so you can call me anytime if you have any questions!-- Yes, I know it's late to have dinner, but my mother is European like that. Your daughter is in good hands, don't worry!"

I rolled my eyes once more, knowing how fond my mom was of him and how easily she'd eat all of this up. When Roman finally got off the call, he broke out into a string of laughter-- "Your mom is so damn sweet, but I can tell she's terrified we'll have sex. It seems you've taken after her,"

"I'm not terrified!" I whined, turning left to get off the highway.

He snorted; "I was two seconds away from telling her I have a stash of condoms, and that she shouldn't worry about having to take care of a mini-me when you leave for college,"

I did my best not to blush-- this conversation was getting more and more suggestive. "Shut up," I mumbled. "I'm not terrified."

Roman's eyes softened as he sat back in his seat and watched me drive his car. I knew I was giving away my true feelings regarding the matter with the way I was anxiously tapping my fingers against the steering wheel. I continued; "I just had you locked in a closet trying to convince you I'm not. It's not that big of a deal,"

"Relax, I'm just teasing you," Roman ran his fingers through his hair, gazing into the rearview mirror to check how messed up it had gotten. His red car had an open roof, after all. He sighed, trying to choose his next words wisely. "Not a big deal, you say?"

"Well..." I was unsure whether to be honest or not.

Roman nodded, looking out at all the trees passing us by. His silence was unnerving, and I turned up the music to tune it out. I couldn't stand this. Something in him switched; Maybe he was upset that I said it wasn't a big deal? Or maybe he was realizing it was a big deal to him? I needed to change the subject; "This is the right direction, no? I feel like I'm just driving deeper into the forest--"

"I've never told you this, but after the first time we kissed, I kept having the same dream where never left the seven minutes in heaven closet," Roman placed his head in the palm of his hand as he leaned his elbow against the car door, sighing. "Over and over, every night. Nearly drove me mad. And in the dream, there were no seven minutes, no time limit. So it was just you and I, and we were going at it like fucking crazy."

I held my breath, my eyes widening further with every sentence. What? Was he drunk-rambling or was this something else?

Roman sighed again, attempting to relax as he closed his eyes and stilled in his seat. Like this, I could nearly mistake him for being asleep. "It all started with me wanting to fuck you," he mumbled. "But every night, at the end of the dream, I got greedy... Because suddenly, I also wanted you to love me." 

Had I not been good at keeping calm, I would've probably crashed the car into the nearest tree. I didn't get much time to process, to feel the weight of his confession, until Roman snapped out of it like a character taken straight out of an animation, now sitting up; "Turn here,"

I drove up to a huge gate, stopping the car as I tried to steady my breathing. "Roman--"

"Two seconds," he said, getting out of the car to walk up to the intercom. He was as good as normal now.

I was left still gripping the steering wheel for dear life, my mouth opening and closing as I tried to find the right words. I watched as Roman typed in a code, and the massive gate slowly opened as he jumped back into the car. 

My breath was still held in my chest as I turned to him, eyes wider than plates of expensive china. 

Roman glanced back at me with an innocent smile; the mood had completely switched. "Breathe," he cooed, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "It's just a mansion." With a sharp intake of air, he glanced at the backseat and the crumbled-up hot pink crop top we had brought with us (stolen, actually) from the party-- "A mansion with a possibility to put that anomaly in the fucking laundry."

I turned towards it as well, returning to my mind at the sight of the obnoxious colour of the top-- Knowing I had made him cum into the fabric of it merely an hour ago still felt like a triumph.

... Was it maybe my turn, now?

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And he was right-- this was an absolute castle of a house. I had suppressed the truth about Roman's wealth for as long as I could, not wanting to think about it in case my mind went haywire about it, but now it was smacking me in the face.

Still, Roman's hand on the small of my back was a comfort as he led me through the mansion on the most impromptu show-around I've ever witnessed. "This is the room where I learned how to shoot darts," he mumbled, pointing at the small dents in the wall. "I didn't know the darts were actually stuck to the wall and not the printed dartboard I hung up..." He bent down, picking up the painting his mother had hung up to cover the indents.

I couldn't help but laugh, clinging to his arm as we moved from room to room. The mansion was gothic, vampy, but that might've just been my imagination playing with me. The tall ceilings were intimidating, yet beautiful-- judging by my surroundings, there was no denying that everything around me cost a fortune.

I was yanked out of my trail of thoughts when Roman led me behind a red curtain by one of the big windows in the next room, and I giggled as he wrapped it around us. My back was pressed against the wall, engulfed by both the curtain and Roman's embrace; "This is where I learned how to French," he whispered, smiling as he pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. "And it was horrible. She fucking bit me and I squealed like a girl."

If Roman was trying to distract me from what he had said in the car, he was certainly doing a good job. The mental image of his first French kiss kept me beyond entertained, and we both continued laughing as he got us out of the wrap of the curtain.

However, it was the walk up the circular stairs that truly made it dawn on me who I was dating-- Roman Godfrey, the future heir to a billion-dollar company. Fuck. I stared up at the painting above us, the one of him and his mother posing with a rather regal-looking background. He couldn't have been more than fourteen in that picture, and I could see his classic intimidating stare through the painting and the way he clutched the chair his mother was posed on. It was clear that the boy in the painting didn't want to be there at all.

Roman turned, realizing what I was looking at; "I fucking hate that one," he grumbled, giving my hand a squeeze. "I refused to smile at that age. I look like I'm on the brink of killing myself."

"Not true," I squeezed his hand back. "Give yourself some grace. How old were you?"

"Fourteen,"

There you go. "Judging by the painting, I think we could've been friends at fourteen,"

Roman stopped in the middle of the curved stairway, his brows drawing together. "How so?"

I shrugged, trying not to focus on how much taller he was than me. If I thought about it for too long, I'd jump him. "Because I wore all black for about a year. If you refused to smile, and I refused to show any joy, I think we would've been a killer duo,"

Roman blinked twice before cracking into a chuckle. "That's unexpected,"

"Bet,"

"You're all... cute and bubbly now,"

"You think?" I wasn't sure how much I agreed. "The girl that's fucking around with her ex-best friend's cousin?"

Roman had to bite down another laugh. "What do you mean, fucking around? I haven't as much as touched you compared to how I could've,"

Oh.

Oh God.

I held back a shiver, staring up at him as he resumed leading me up the stairs. "But... you have touched me,"

"Sure," Roman proceeded to get a proper look at me in the darkness of the night when we reached the second floor. The green around his widened pupils practically shone-- it was impressively cat-like. "Impossible not to, with those fuck-me eyes of yours."

"Hey!" I wasn't sure why I was protesting, but I knew his snicker egged me on. "I don't have... that!"

I could see that Roman was on the brink of cooing at me, and he sucked in a sharp breath as he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip. I hadn't seen him this amused in a while. "Right," he purred. "You don't. Not a trace at all." With a short kiss on my forehead, he moved away from me and started walking down the dark corridor. "Keep those fuck-me eyes in the hallway, and I might let you sleep tonight."

I sighed before gearing up into a walking sprint to catch up with his long strides-- If only he knew that sleep was the last thing on my mind. 

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When we finally reached Roman's bedroom, I couldn't believe the size of it. My room was nothing in comparison. I had certainly not expected the posters-- there were many rare classic horror films and some bands I was sure his mom probably loathed. However, I was surprised by the lack of half-naked models on his walls which I had always imagined; I let out a short, relieved breath. "Your room is nice,"

Roman hummed, throwing his jacket on a chair nearby. "Not too boyish for you?" 

"Nah," I mumbled, walking up to the posters on the opposite wall. There were a lot of movies I hadn't seen yet-- still, I couldn't help but laugh a little when I saw The Godfather. "It's very you."

"How great that you like me, then," 

"Lucky for you, yeah," There was something about this room that I couldn't help but love-- this was where Roman woke up and fell asleep. This was where he probably spent most of his time. I wondered whether the pillows smelled of his going-out cologne or the lighter one he usually wore to school. I wondered whether he'd been caught smoking in here, whether he'd done coke with Peter on his desk, and how many girls he'd had up here. By the likes of it, I somehow doubted anything like that ever happened at his place. If he had waited this long to have me over, I decided it was highly unlikely he'd invite someone he didn't know very well. 

I clasped my hands behind my back, taking long strides as I scanned the many posters on his walls.

Roman sat down on the chair by his desk, spreading out as he watched me with a smirk. "Not what you expected?"

I turned to him, my brows drawing together; "Why? Are you nervous or something?"

"I'm not nervous," Roman huffed, folding his arms over his chest. Now that I was looking straight at him, it was clear that he was. "I'm simply asking."

A knowing smile crept up my cheeks-- it felt like I had the upper hand, for once. "You're nervous,"

"Am not!"

"And now you're fidgeting,"

I was correct; Roman's right leg had given into a slight bounce. He rolled his eyes, muttering curse words under his breath. "It's not every day that I have girls up here, okay? I'm never here, stuff always happens at someone else's-- well, now your room. Because this is, like... my lair,"

I had to bite back an amused smirk; "Your evil lair?"

"Bingo. This is where I dissect people and stuff," He pointed to the table next to him. "So... yeah. Your opinion matters to me, I guess."

"Oh, does it now?"

"On some things, sure,"

I nodded, focusing on how the moonlight was dipping into the dark brown of Roman's hair. He didn't have to be so pretty all the time, did he? How rude. "Such as...?"

With a shrug, Roman now gazed at the tall ceiling. Like this, he almost looked bored. "Your opinion of me is the one that comes to mind, I guess,"

"My opinion of... you?" That was new. 

Roman met my eyes again, this time with a new emotion-- his head was slightly tilted to the side, and he was looking at me through his brows. I had a feeling he didn't intend the look to be as intimidating as it was. "It fluctuates,"

"My opinion?"

"Yep," he said. "Some days, you look at me like I'm everything. And then, the next day, I'm the biggest asshole in the world."

My lips drew together in a tight line-- this was unexpected. "And here I thought I was the only consistent thing in your life," I mumbled. "I don't know, Rome, every couple has its ups and downs, no? But I don't want them to make you doubt what I feel for you. Because... you know, right?" I started taking wary steps across the room. "You know I adore you, there is no way you've managed to miss that?"

With a sigh, Roman sat back in his chair with a smile. "Sure, I know that," he murmured, watching my every step with anticipation. "And I bet that tree you carved our initials into can attest."

Goddamn it. "You're never going to let go of that, are you?" 

As I finally approached him, Roman led me between his legs with a gentle hold around my waist. "Nope," He pressed his lips against my clothed chest, his fingers slowly digging into my top. My arms draped around his neck, and my next words were muffled against his hair; he reeked of his usual cinnamon-flavored cigarettes-- "But sure, if the tree ever starts talking, it will agree. You know I'm crazy about you,"

"Crazy is the keyword here,"

"Oh, shut up," I muttered, pulling away to get a proper look at him. Roman was so damn beautiful-- I had missed the sight of him in the past twenty-four hours I had been unsure of the state of our relationship. "I still can't believe you thought I was going to break up with you... Do you know how shitty you would have to be to drive me to that point?"

Roman pulled me back in again, enjoying the scent of my perfume with his next deep inhale; he pressed a short kiss to my neck. "Let me be paranoid," The next kiss lingered for longer, the warm exhale through his nose grazing my skin.

"But I don't want you to be," I tried. "I don't ever want you to doubt us like that. Never, ever again."

Roman stilled. With a sigh, he spoke; "Okay... but that's where you step into what people in my family call a deathtrap," He motioned for me to sit down in his lap, and with wary movements, I draped my arms around his neck and sat down, allowing him to place a sweet kiss to my cheek. "Deathtrap?" I echoed.

"Deathtrap," Roman shifted, placing one arm around my waist as his free hand traced small circles into my thighs. "Otherwise known as... hope." And just like that, it was as though his mind went elsewhere, as though something in his eyes shifted. 

However, I'd had enough of that-- I wasn't having any of it tonight. Knowing Roman saw hope as a deathtrap made my heart burn. Wary of not being too abrupt, I slowly placed a finger underneath his chin, catching his attention. "If you don't want to harbor any hope of your own, I'll lend you mine," I whispered, gently nudging his nose with mine. 

Roman's pupils dilated as his hot breath fanned against my upper lip. I could smell the beer on him, the cigarettes, yet the most prevalent was the anxiety-- it brushed upon my skin, and caressed my heart. "All of it, Roman," My hand went back into his hair, stroking through the softness of his locks. "All my hope, all my love... it's all yours to borrow. To keep, to mold, to steal, to hold, for as long as you like. It's not a trap of any kind. You're safe with me."

That was all it took, and so he gave in; with the smallest of sighs, Roman closed his eyes, relishing in the moment. "You make me feel... you make me feel," he echoed, almost in disbelief. "It's a painful thing, is it not?"

I dared to let my hand brush down the side of his face, my thumb gently ghosting over his closed lid to feel the softness of his lashes against the pad of my finger. "It doesn't have to be. It could feel really, really good,"

Roman let out a shaky breath against me; "I want that for you," he said, opening his eyes. The green in his eyes shone in the white shimmer of the moonlight, illuminating the intent in his words. "Want to make you feel good... in every way possible." 

Something about the drop in his voice nearly made me shiver-- I couldn't allow myself to, not in his lap. It took a few seconds for me to notice that I was holding my breath, staring back at him with a look on my face which I hoped didn't give away too much. Maybe I had misinterpreted his words? Maybe Roman meant that in a romantic way?

However, with the following upward curve of the corners of his mouth, so small I could barely notice it, I knew my intuition had been right. Roman definitely meant that in a different way. 

... I needed to listen to my intuition more, didn't I?

Roman's hand on my thigh lifted, now removing the vial of blood around my neck to place it on the table nearby; he proceeded to put his palm against my cheek with the gentlest touch, softly caressing my skin with his thumb. This was when it dawned on me that we were alone. Completely alone. Possibly for the first time ever. No interruptions, with no one to hear anything. Had this been a month ago, that fact alone would've been enough to make me jump off his lap, and I would've probably paced up and down along his room with nervous steps to soothe my anxiety. Being alone with him meant that I wouldn't be able to contain my need for him, I was sure of it.

But now? I believed Roman could do that for me. Soothe me. He could calm me down like no other. Now, I knew he wouldn't run off after getting what he wanted-- because now, I knew that what he truly wanted was me. 

"Could you let me do that?" Roman breathed, the green of his eyes finding my lips. I was confused as to how I hadn't melted into his lap already. "Make you feel good?" He leaned forward, just a few inches, now brushing the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip, transfixed. "Or... are you sure you want to do this? Have your first time with someone like me?"

There was something about the fact that he was even asking-- the old Roman would never. "Who else would I have my first time with? It's always been you," My lips parted in a soundless intake of breath, my gaze darting to his plush, pink lips. Like this, I could almost feel them against me; we had kissed so many times that my body remembered the sweet push of his lips simply by gazing at them. Still, I was afraid it would never be enough, and every kiss was as thrilling as the first one. "Just being with you like this feels good already."

Roman hummed, absentminded. "Not what I'm getting at,"

"I know," I breathed. "But I can't help but worry that--" I had to clear my throat, swallowing. Why was I getting so damn nervous? It was getting harder to breathe, and I was sure my cheeks were flushing. "Well... That I won't know what to do."

With a sigh, Roman bit down on his lip to hold back a laugh. "It's your first time, you won't have to do much," Despite his lids hanging heavy over his darkening eyes, I could see the want building in him. "I'll take the lead, okay? You just relax." He steadied me with his palm over my cheek before leaning forward-- my body hitched with caution as he brushed his lips across mine, slanted, until I allowed myself to give in. 

The soft pillow of Roman's lips was the sweetest pressure I had ever known. I could feel my blood heat with the intent of the kiss, and I suddenly got the urge to cross my legs to calm myself down-- I knew I couldn't. Roman's breath fell softly against my cheek as my hands went up into his hair, tugging gently at the tips of his dark locks as I kissed him back with my lips slightly parted, moving against his as though he was whispering me a question.

Maybe I didn't hear it-- maybe it was a warning? Had he actually whispered something, or was I imagining things? Because with the next second, Roman hooked his arm under my knees, lifting me off the chair as I yelped into the kiss. It didn't take long before I eased, telling myself he had lifted me many times before, and that he would never drop me. Never, ever. Roman smiled against my lips, humming just slightly as he carried me bridal-style across the room. It felt silly, cliché, until it dawned on me-- was he playing the cliché out for me? Was this what he perhaps imagined I wanted, something pure, something classically virginal?

In the few seconds our kiss was broken, Roman placed me down on the bed and watched as I giggled; it was impossible not to laugh as the recoil of the springs threatened to bounce me up in the air again. He tsked, now grinning as he made space between my legs, drawing me closer before he kissed me once more. It was bolder this time, pressing the soft fullness of his mouth against mine-- there was nowhere else for me to go but to him. 

My hands wove into Roman's hair again, pulling him closer as my heart thumped hard in my chest. Was this really happening? Or was this maybe something I was imagining, maybe the alcohol hadn't left my system yet? "Rome--"

Before I could continue, his lips were on mine again like a magnet, drawing us together, unable to separate the magnetic forces long enough to let me speak. It was confirmed; he was definitely here. This was real. There was an urgency to Roman's stubborn kisses-- you're mine, just accept it. Being kissed into submission was something I had never imagined was possible, yet here I was, my lips parting with a soft whimper, feeling his tongue against mine; it filled me with a complete and utter satisfaction, a final statement. 

I wanted him to devour me. As I coiled my fingers around Roman's dark hair, tugging him closer, I so desperately wanted only that. To melt into him, to become one-- was that maybe the core concept of sex which I had misunderstood all up until this exact moment? Just the thought of being connected with Roman like that, knowing he could possibly be inside me-- that thought had never evoked the physical reaction in me before as it did now. 

Well, fuck. I realized I was screwed before it had even happened.

Sucking in a sharp breath, the silk of Roman's expensive duvets kept me grounded as he softly groaned into my mouth. His tongue circled mine before gently sucking the tip of it into his mouth, and he listened to my whimpers as he withdrew shortly after, a lone string of saliva still linking us. I was unsure why I was left so speechless, why every little thing he did made me feel like my body was on fire, but I knew there was no rationality in need. The innate need ravaging through your veins. There was no way to make sense of it, and I was certain Roman was aware of that too. Yet suddenly, he was near-motionless, blinking twice as if he was a little lost on what to do, which I immediately thought was odd--

Oh. There it was. I was wondering when that would happen. 

So... Roman wasn't lost. Far from it. Flustered might be a better word-- I felt his erection poke into my stomach, and it made me realize how big his pupils had gotten. That was quick. "Uh... Surprise?" He awkwardly cleared his throat as his green eyes nearly devoured me whole. "Fuck it, there's one thing I want to do before we go on. It'll take a second."

I held my breath-- with Roman, that could mean anything. "... Okay?"

"Don't look so scared," he teased, getting off the bed and walking to his nightstand. In my head, I wondered whether he was grabbing condoms, or whether he was about to impose something kinky on me. I was ready to start my rehearsed lecture on going slow with me, that it was my first time and everything, until my mind blanked at the sight of a... candle?

Roman got a lighter nearby, looking back at me with a trying smile. "You once said that me and sweet don't go together," he explained, lighting the candle. "On our first date, I believe, if we can call it that. The blackmail part of it was probably not ideal, but it counts in my head. Anyway, I thought you might be right about the sweet part... but it doesn't mean I shouldn't try to be."

I was afraid I'd melt much, much faster than that candle. "Don't tell me you went out and bought that candle just for this?"

Roman shrugged, hoping to brush it off. "Well... I was determined to prove you wrong. And I had a candle for my first time, and I guess it eased me a little. But, uh... I think this is actually a funeral candle," 

"I see," I had to contain a laugh. Sitting up, I reached for his fingers as I longed to touch him again; "Well, no one's dead yet, but the night is still young."

Unable to hold it, Roman snorted, placing the lighter back on the nightstand before he interlocked our fingers. "I'm never doing anything like this again, so I suggest you cherish it,"

"What? But now I'm growing fond of the funeral candle, you're breaking my heart!"

Roman rolled his eyes, sinking down on the bed again, and he brought our intertwined fingers above my head. "If that's what I need to do to get you in my bed, I'll buy the whole fucking candle company," 

There was something exciting about the fact that Roman genuinely could. It wasn't just an empty threat. If he got high enough one night, I was sure he'd know who to call. I was surprised to feel he was still hard now that his erection was pressed up against me once more, but I didn't get much time to think about it-- Roman freed one of his hands, and he managed to make his way under my top as he kissed me once more.

My breath hitched against the soft push of his lips as it hit me that I might have to get fully naked for this. Fuck. Okay. Yet my anxiety eased at the thought of him being fully naked too-- I found my hips keening up against him, my need for friction growing with my arousal. 

Roman smiled into the kiss; it was a ravenous feeling. "Impatient?" he asked, barely leaving my lips.

"Yeah," It was merely a breath-- I felt his hand ghost over my bra, slowly tracing the hem. I could barely think, too excited to function anymore.

"No need," Roman pulled away, letting go of the remaining hand above my head as his fingers now toyed with the edge of my top. "We have all the time in the world."

His tone was enough to bring scarlet to my cheeks, but I nodded, swallowing when he bunched the fabric up in his hands and lifted it up and off of me. I raised my arms, pouting just slightly at the loss of contact-- who would've thought I'd get more drunk from kissing Roman than the beer Peter gave me earlier? 

With a sigh, Roman's eyes consumed me; the smirk with which he looked down at me only made me more flustered. "Rome," I whined, reaching my hands out for him. "Stop that, get back here. This isn't anything new." That was true-- me in my bra wasn't a sight he hadn't seen before. 

Roman tsked, sending me a stern look. "You're disturbing my thought process,"

"Your thought process?--"

"Yep," he said, shrugging. "I'm just thinking about how I want to cum right..." Roman trailed a line across my lower abdomen with his finger, using a touch so light it immediately made me squirm. "... here."

The squirming quickly turned into a small shiver, and my hands went straight to my face as my blush deepened. 

There was a change in Roman which was noticeable by the way he lost his smile, lost in whatever images he had in his head as he now leaned back down, pressing eager kisses to the apex of my collarbones. His lips trailed down my body, his fingers digging into the sides of my waist-- his mind was gone. I tugged at his hair as he inched further away, and I whimpered at the sensation of his tongue tracing a circle around my belly button. I never expected myself to like anything like that, but damn-- heaven. This was heaven. 

I was reminded of how much bigger Roman was than me when I was suddenly yanked to the edge of the bed, and I could only yelp as I did nothing to fight it. His hands trailed down the sides of my hips, now hooking his fingers around my panties, not yet taking them off-- instead, he was kissing me through my soaked underwear, humming. 

Christ, this was something I could get used to. I managed to register the fact that he wasn't on the bed anymore, and I propped myself up on my elbows with the last remaining power I had to confirm my suspicions. Roman stopped for a moment, pulling away to glance right back at me; "What?"

"You're... kneeling,"

"... Yeah?"

It didn't register in my head. "You don't kneel for anyone," The Roman Godfrey didn't get on his knees for anyone in the world. In my mind, he thought the world should be kneeling to him, and that he would never stoop so low.

However, the look he gave me in return told me everything I needed to know. Come on, now. Roman pulled my underwear off as he spoke, peeling it down my thighs; "I kneel for you," To him, that was as simple as a fact. The most logical thing in the history of the universe. He didn't even seem to deem the subject worthy of a further conversation, now grabbing my hips to bring me even closer to the edge of the bed as I let out a small squeak. Roman led my legs to hang over his broad shoulders as he leaned forward, rings of desire around his eyes as he licked a broad, flat stripe up my sex.

Fuck-- I did my best not to mewl as my fingers reached for his hair once more, twirling into the soft curls of his hair. "Rome--"

At this point, I was sure he wouldn't hear me no matter how loudly I spoke. Roman sensed I was about to start keening against him, and he pulled my legs back and held my thighs in place as he slicked his tongue in between my slit, mouth moving as though he was pressing deep, heavy kisses against me. I whimpered, my grip on his hair loosening as I felt my conscience slip into its usual drugged-on-Roman state. A very, very dangerous state of mind, if you ask me.

Giving me some time to breathe, Roman moved to leave soft kisses up along the crease of my thighs. "Keep your legs like this, okay?" he said, slowly trailing one hand up my thigh. Roman's finger teasingly tapped my clit, and he turned to watch the thin line of slick connecting the pad of his finger to me. It was hard not to squirm, and I brought one hand up to my mouth to hopefully suppress any noise. "Rome, what are you?--"

Oh. My breath hitched as he eased his slicked middle finger into me, careful to go in with slow strokes. I whined against my hand when Roman's mouth returned to me, sealing his perfect lips around my swollen nub, adding pressure. It was almost too much-- I felt myself clench around his finger when he curled it upwards, just as his lips covered my mound, sucking me in. 

"Christ," I breathed, reaching down to grab a hold of Roman's hair, the slick sounds of his mouth making goosebumps appear along my skin as I contained a shiver. "Shit, Rome, it feels-- so, so good--"

My mindless ramble came to an end with the next hitch of my breath; Roman added another finger, humming against me as an answer. With how nervous I was, it was a tight fit, and the sting that followed made me instinctively tighten my fist in his hair, my skin straining over my knuckles. It was hard to keep still, a string of whimpers escaping my lips. 

My hands shook as Roman continued slowly stroking his fingers into me. I wondered whether he could feel my anxiety seeping into my lust-- it was becoming so real. Roman's green eyes darted up at me, stilling his fingers, giving me time to adjust. He pulled away from me, leaving his digits in me as he spoke; "I'm not gonna last long if you tighten up like that later," 

His words conjured a deep blush to my cheeks, and I brought my hands up to my face to hide. "Sorry," I breathed. "I don't-- don't know what's happening."

Roman shrugged, placing a wet, gentle kiss against the inside of my thigh. "You're nervous. It's normal," His hot breath ghosted over my soaked sex as he moved to the other thigh-- "I think it'll help if I make you cum like this. You'll relax more. And I'll keep my fingers in, get you used to the feeling... Unless you want them out?"

For a man who said he didn't deal with virgins, he certainly knew how to talk one down from the cliff. I let out a shaky breath, peeking down at him past my fingers; "N-No, it's okay,"

Roman seemed to be holding back a laugh; "You look a little spooked,"

"I... do?" Knowing my boyfriend, I knew he probably found that incredibly hot.

"A bit. Wanna stop?--"

"No!" That was a little too quick. Fuck. 

Roman chuckled as he proceeded to bite down on the inside of my thigh with a teasing smirk-- I squeaked, clenching around his fingers. "Good," he purred, leaning forward to press a short kiss to my clit, drawing out another squeak from me. Something told me he liked the sound of my pleasured panic. "It's been some time since the last time you let me do this. I've missed the taste of you."

"... It's been, like, four days,"

Roman let out a groan, and I could see in his eyes that it was building in him-- the innate lust. "A fucking eternity," he breathed, a new rasp appearing in his voice. With that, Roman didn't lose a single second leaning back down, slicking his tongue between my folds, returning to suck down on my clit with a moan. 

Oh, well-- I knew I was done for. Still, knowing his goal was to make me cum, knowing I didn't have to hold back, I let my hands wander back into his hair with a whimper of pleasure. It didn't take long before I clenched around his fingers again, the burn of the stretch subsiding with every flick of Roman's tongue. 

"Fuck," I breathed. "Fuck, fuck--"

Any attempt to speak dissolved into incoherent cries, teetering on the edge while pleasure surged through me like a relentless wave. Still, it didn't take more than two more sucks to ease me over, and I felt my climax drawing out long and slow against Roman's mouth, tightening around his fingers with a whimper. 

My head lolled along the duvets as I tried to catch my breath. With every time Roman did this, it only got better-- it was hard to believe that was even possible. I came to my senses when I felt his fingers slide out of me, the twinge of pain having long passed. 

"Fuck," Roman said, a laugh to his voice as he pressed kisses up along my stomach, getting up from the ground. "Best fucking pussy in the world."

God-- I hid my face again, my blush deepening. That dirty mouth of his. "That was so good," I purred, reaching out for him; "Come here, Rome. I miss you up here."

Chuckling, Roman shook his head, motioning for me to scoot further up the bed. "Just a sec," he said, walking back over to his nightstand, opening his drawer again and shuffling around. I did as told, watching him with a sigh; he was right, that orgasm had relaxed me. However, my zen didn't last long-- I suddenly felt all my muscles tightening when I watched Roman bring the fingers he just had in me to his lips, absentmindedly sucking on them as he now held up a silver wrapper with his free hand as though that was the most normal thing in the world. I also spotted a clear bottle which I could only assume was lube. 

What the fuck? The sight of him doing that made me want to disappear into the bed-- why was the sight so... thrilling? It must've been the look of enjoyment on his face. "Oh, that's hot," I mumbled, my eyes immediately widening with the realization of what I had just blurted out.

Roman cocked a brow as he unclasped the vial of my blood around his neck, placing it next to the candle before he got back on the bed, now trailing the residue of spit and slick on his fingers across my thighs. "Well, you taste nice,"

"Not that nice?"

A hum; "Wanna try some, make up your mind?" he asked, a teasing smirk spreading across his plush lips as he brought his hand up to his mouth, wiping off the remnants of my slick to coat his fingers. 

I shivered, grimacing— "No, thanks," Hoping to distract Roman from trying to convince me, I sat up, reaching for the buttons of his shirt. Frankly, I had enough of being the only one that was undressed.

Roman hummed, following my hands with his eyes, grinning from ear to ear as he threw down the condom and the lube somewhere on the bed. "More for me, then," he mumbled, licking my slick off his fingers as he kept his gaze on me-- it didn't take long before he pushed me back down on the bed, unbuttoning the last of his buttons with ease I could never match. 

My heart had probably never worked this hard before in my life. "Rome," I tried, watching him discard his shirt. Fuck-- he was gorgeous. I could feel myself blushing in an instant, shamelessly looking him up and down; I knew he didn't mind. Why was I reacting like this? Roman being breathtakingly handsome wasn't news? "I think... I think--"

"You're still thinking?" Roman's hands gripped my waist as he leaned down, kissing up my torso as I whimpered beneath him, reaching for his hair again. "Stop thinking. No thinking."

"No thinking?" I echoed, giggling as his eager kisses reached my neck, getting ticklish. "You're asking for too much." Now that he was finally close again, I draped my arms around him, trailing my fingers across his broad shoulders with a sigh. Being skin-to-skin like this was my favorite thing in the world-- being connected.

Roman hummed, his erection once again pressing into my lower abdomen. "Either you stop thinking of your own volition..." he said, pulling my chest up against his. "... Or I'll have to fuck your brains out. Your choice."

I shivered, feeling my mind start buzzing. That was a damn easy choice. "That sounds rough," I mumbled, my breath hitching as Roman pressed a kiss to my ear. "You said you'd be gentle..." To be completely honest, this was the part I was nervous about-- would he maybe not be able to be? I was a little scared he'd be like one of those horror-story guys Letha had told me she'd been with, one of those guys that just slap you all of a sudden or start choking you cause they've seen it in porn and think that's normal behavior. 

Roman pulled away, hovering barely an inch above my lips; his breath grazed my cheek, and the green of his eyes were glazed over with a look of confusion. "Am I not being just that?" he asked, nodding to the candle.

Oh-- I turned to the supposed funeral candle. 

It allowed a sweet kiss to my cheek, the tip of his upturned nose pressing into my cheekbone; "Trust me. I wouldn't want to hurt you, you know me,"

He was right-- from the very first moment we got together, he had told me just that.

Still, it was only when I felt Roman's lips against mine with the softest of pressures, that I pushed my concerns away. It was the sort of kiss that made my heart burn, the sort of kiss that made my hands trail up into his hair to keen him closer. I pushed all my thoughts of horror into a heap, churned it in my mental grinder, processed it, and allowed the product of it to slip past my lips; "I want you," I breathed, feeling myself grow needy against him.

Roman hummed, a small roll of his hips onto mine following-- I didn't expect it to make my breath catch in my chest. "I want you too," 

Something in me ignited; I wanted him to do that again. Disoriented, I reached down for the zipper of his jeans, moaning into the kiss that followed. "Want you more," 

Roman smiled; "Not possible," 

At this moment, I was thankful to be made up of solid matter-- if not, I was sure I'd have melted straight into the bed, a puddle of pure horny. I wasn't sure when Roman lost his pants, too consumed in the kiss to function. My state of arousal only heightened when my hips bucked up, feeling the hard outline of his cock between my legs; I was suddenly reminded of the time we did something similar in an alleyway on our first day. But this was different-- this was a direct contact of his clothed length brushing up against my clit with repeating strokes, a motion which had my breath hitching as my nails dug into his shoulders.

Roman let out a soft groan, nipping at my neck as he ground down against me. "This," he breathed. "This is what you do to me. I wanna be in you so fucking bad."

With the next roll of his hips, I whimpered; the buzzing of my mind refused to still. "Have me, then," was all I managed to say, tugging at Roman's hair as the tips of my fingers burned.

What followed happened so fast, I barely registered it. I heard the ripping of the silver wrapping in the midst of our heated kiss, adrenaline and dopamine coursing through my veins as every little sweet word rolling off Roman's tongue filled me with that familiar warm feeling I always got around him.

For this, it was all worth it. All the drama with Letha, all the tears, all the pain-- it was all worth it. 

"You're everything," Roman whispered, rubbing the head of his cock along my soaked sex as my hands skimmed the muscular range of his back. "You're my everything, do you know that?"

God, how I wanted to be one with him. Wanted him in my head, wanted him in me, wanted to melt into him and become one single entity, never to part. From the first moment I met him, from the first moment I laid eyes on him in class, from the first moment he smiled at me, I knew it was Roman. It would always be Roman, it would always, always be Roman for me, and knowing he thought the same of me as well, that I was his everything-- all my longing, everything, had been worth it. Because I was his everything too, finally, just like he had always been mine. 

However, as Roman angled his cock and gently pushed the head in, kissing my cheek with the sweetest touch, I didn't expect the painful, sharp sting-- I wasn't sure how loudly I gasped, how far my nails dug into his back, but I was really damn certain that this hurt. 

Roman was out of me within the blink of a second; "Shit," he breathed, a panicked look in his eyes. "Should've-- Should've warned you."

The sting remained as I did my best to breathe through it. "That's a stretch," was all I managed to say, stroking over where I had scraped his back. 

"I'll take that as a compliment," Roman mumbled, scanning me. He didn't seem bothered by the crescent moons my nails were leaving behind. "You okay?"

"Yeah..."

He cursed under his breath, leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead. "I forgot about this part... My brain doesn't work when you're naked," Roman sighed, reaching for one of the hands I had on his back. "If you want to go on, I might know a way to make it a little easier."

I met his eyes as he brought the back of my hand to his lips; "I guess it's supposed to hurt a little, Roman, just... just do what you usually do, I trust you," Maybe I needed to push through it? I could take a little pain, couldn't I? That was until I remembered the pain again-- it made me clench. Ouch.

With a certain look I knew too well, he shook his head as he now wrapped his fingers around my wrist. "No. It's not supposed to hurt," he said. "And I said I wouldn't hurt you, so..." Roman trailed my hand down along my body, watching as my eyes widened. "In my experience, it helps if you... help."

"Help?"

"Help yourself, so to speak," Roman purred, his signature cocky smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Cause I doubt this will be your first time doing this."

"Doing what?-- Oh," As he placed my hand over my sex, he slid two fingers above mine, guiding me to rub my clit. Roman was right; it wasn't my first time doing that to myself. Still, this was a different feeling-- My hips immediately bucked up into our hands, and when Roman leaned down to kiss me, I knew I was done for. 

Everything felt warm, everything felt right. "Just keep doing that," he whispered, sinking his teeth into my lower lip. "Wanna?-- Again?"

Roman didn't need to use more words than that; I knew what he meant. I nodded, feeling my cheeks redden at the fact that I was touching myself in front of him like this-- however, I didn't have time to think much about it.

Soon, I wasn't the only one touching myself, anyway.

"Should've used this from the start," Roman mumbled, cursing under his breath as he poured a dash of lube on his cock from the clear bottle nearby. "Got too excited... fuck." With a lazy grip, he wrapped his hand around his length, spreading the lube with slow strokes. 

My mind was buzzing. I watched as Roman's lips parted, a shaky breath escaping him. "It's okay," I tried, rubbing mindless circles around my clit. "It's just me."

"Yeah, and I care about you," Roman's eyes were halfway closed as they met mine, darkened with growing lust. "Ready?"

I nodded-- yeah.

This time, when Roman's cock pushed into me again with the slowest of strokes, the pleasure from my clit dulled the sting. The only thing left to adjust to was the stretch; my breath hitched as my free hand went back up into his hair, wincing against his lips as his thick length stroked me open. 

Roman cursed as his parted lips hovered above mine. He held me tightly against his body, watching out for any signs of discomfort before he spoke; "Shit... This feels better than I--thought," 

My head rolled back against the duvet, breathing against Roman with small heaves. "Rome," I whimpered. "Fuck, this is--" I didn't expect the feeling, didn't expect the tips of my fingers to burn more as I grasped at his hair, didn't expect the way my whole body reacted-- it was different from anything else I had ever felt or thought I could feel. Being filled up by Roman was...

It was everything.

Everything I had ever dreamed of. 

It felt good, it felt right-- I moaned, clenching at the feeling of his cock slowly sinking into me at a steady pace, my body aching with love. This was as gentle as I bet anything like this could possibly be, and I squirmed a bit beneath him, adjusting to the feeling of having his cock inside of me. 

Roman let out a shaky breath, containing the urge to pound into my warmth like I supposed he usually would. "Hurts?"

"No, no-- Ah," 

With his next thrust, Roman kissed up my jaw, keeping every stroke careful. "Want me to put it in all the way?"

"The-- There is more?"

"Baby..." he breathed, containing a choked laugh. "I'm only halfway in."

I was sure I was about to faint. How the fuck?-- No, I couldn't think clearly in this state. No more thinking. I decided to trust him; I knew Roman would pull back if it hurt, anyway. "Okay... Let's try,"

As Roman pushed in more of his length, the quiet moan escaping him blended in with my string of panicked whimpers. I didn't even know I had space inside me for more-- my eyes sprung open, my legs giving into a tremble. "Rome, I-- a-ah, this is--"

"Shh, look at me, breathe," Roman brought his hand to my face, guiding me to look into his eyes. His voice was soft, caring; "You okay? Is this too much?"

The shock was the thing that had gotten to me, I was sure of it. Because after a few more deep strokes, a few tighter circles around my clit, my fear eased as I realized this was a sensation I would be chasing for the rest of my life.

"Feels good?" Roman asked, his voice nearly breaking-- I imagined it was hard to not give in to the pleasure of the tight embrace around his cock.

Still, I could only nod, twisting my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him towards me to smother him with a heated rush of my lips against his, moaning into the kiss as I pulled my hand from between my legs-- it was starting to brink the line of overstimulation. 

"Good," Roman muttered against my mouth. 

The kiss didn't last too long; my shock was still coming and going in waves. "I'm-- we're having sex," I blurted out, my cheeks flaring red. The truth was hitting me like a blow to the head. The thing I had dreamed about since the first day I laid eyes on him was actually happening.

Roman contained a laugh, looking rather endeared by my realization; "Yeah, you're doing it, you're having sex... I'd give you a high five, but-- hah, that wouldn't work,"

Why were we laughing? Why was this... fun?

Caught between the fire in my chest, the twinge of humor, and the ache pulsing low between my legs, I whimpered as I realized I wanted-- no, needed more. Still, a small, meek call of his name was all I managed to stutter out.

Roman shifted, pushing my body so that my knees were bent at his sides; "Speak your mind," 

How was I supposed to conjure a cohesive sentence in this state? "I want-- you, more--"

"We're going-- hah, back to that?" 

"Not that! More, Rome-- just, more, I need--"

He let out a breathy moan, smiling back down at me; he knew exactly what I meant. "Thank God," Roman's cock filled me over and over, his thrusts growing harder, faster as he found a steady pace to rock into me. "You're taking me so good, aren't you?"

My head felt like it was spinning. This couldn't be real. I couldn't possibly be as lucky as to finally sleep with Roman Godfrey. 

His voice brought me back; "You're doing so well," he murmured, burying his face into the crook of my neck, muffling a quiet moan against my skin. It was the most magical of sounds-- my heart was threatening to beat out of my chest, and I was sure the warmth of skin against mine probably helped with the overheating of my brain. "Doing so, so well for me... I've wanted you like this for so long."

"Me too," I breathed, my hips keening to take his thrusts. "Wanted you-- since forever."

My words only seemed to reel him on; Roman hips snapped harder into me as I whimpered. "Forever?" 

"Forever-- a-ah,"

Something in Roman's breathing changed. It was almost as though I could read his thoughts, feel his new reality form. Was it maybe the last push he needed to believe I was his till death? That there was a person out there walking this earth, breathing the same air, that could possibly want to be with him for an eternity? "Forever," he breathed, latching onto my neck with repeated needy kisses in an attempt to drown out the noises threatening to spill past his lips. "You and-- and I, forever."

As Roman's cock repeatedly pushed into me, I could only whimper; the stretch was still something to get used to, and my nails bit into his back as I tried to steady myself. "Forever," I managed to breathe out, hearing him moan into my neck at the sharpness of my nails against his back-- I knew he'd like that. I knew Roman too damn well. 

"Forever," he echoed, breath washing warm against my ear as he raised himself, his cheek nuzzling mine in an intimate embrace. 

I clenched around the girth of his cock, shivering. This was so unbelievably sweet, nothing I had ever expected from him. Roman was so much taller, and his broad build served as a comforting weight through the wave of new pleasure my body tried to comprehend. With the next surge of love washing over my chest, the next pump of Roman's cock, I felt my chin give in to an involuntary quiver as I gripped him tighter. 

It was at this moment that it truly dawned on me;

I loved him. 

I loved Roman Godfrey.

Tears swarmed my eyes as one of my hands went up into his soft hair, hoping he'd take it as an urging for him to kiss me again. I didn't want to have a chance to talk, to blurt it out and scare him away-- which is why, when Roman shifted and crashed his lips against mine, I only felt relief. 

I was safe. I was cared for. And damn, I felt good. 

However, what I hadn't expected, was for the shift of angle to brush past a spot inside of me I had only ever felt when Roman's fingers curled into me. But this was far greater, far more stimulating-- I let out a choked moan against Roman's lips, my eyes springing open as my head tilted back into the duvet, heaving for air as my legs gave in to a tremble. 

I didn't have to look up at him to know the exact look on his face, yet I dared to take a peek; he was too hot to resist. And there it was, those parted, perfect lips paired with that dark look in his green eyes of victory. This is exactly what he had wanted to reduce me to all along, wasn't it? Roman's hair had never been this messed up (courtesy of my hands), and the sheer look of it nearly made my heart swell. "Good tears?" he asked with a whisper, scanning the look in my eyes.

Fuck, yeah. I could only nod. 

Knowing Roman, I was wondering when he'd-- oh, hello, you. I was waiting for the eventual switch. A man like Roman Godfrey couldn't stay sweet forever. 

At the sight of my tears, I knew something new in him ignited. He placed a hand over my mouth, placing more of his weight on me as his other hand pulled me tighter against him, the wet snaps of his cock pushing into me growing louder as I moaned out against his palm. "Listen to this," he purred, a sinister smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he made me listen to the sound of our union. "This is sex, you're damn right. This is what you'll be craving from me." 

God-- I squeezed my eyes shut, the continuous push of the tip of Roman's cock against my sweet spot inside sending my brain into a frenzy. 

"I get why you've been reserved... You'll never be who you were before this again," With a grunt, the next snap of his hips only grew harder, knowing I could take it and adjust. It certainly didn't help the tremble of my body. "Gonna get you fucking addicted to this feeling. To me. Cause you've given yourself to me now, do you-- do you realize that?"

My wet lashes fluttered as I slowly dared to open my eyes, my heart thumping harder than ever before. If only he knew how addicted I already was. 

"This is it," Roman breathed, the green hues of his gaze engulfing me; "This is us. This is you. This is who you are from now on. My girl... Only mine. Forever. Gonna help you cum on this cock, okay? Gonna give you the first time you deserve, h-hah--"

Something about the look in his eyes unnerved me, despite the hot nature of his words-- What? There were many ways for him to make me cum, surely, but the second my fingers started numbing up, my mind started flaring red with a passage from my most hated book;

The upir's ability to mesmerize is an ancient and powerful form of psychic influence, capable of bending a victim's will. This control often manifests subtly, with suggestions that feel like one's own thoughts. If one is being mesmerized by a upir, it is often accompanied by a stilling of one's inner monologue, or a numbing sensation. Prolonged exposure can lead to disorientation, memory lapses, and a gradual erosion of autonomy. The key to resisting lies in anchoring oneself to reality—through pain, strong emotions, or focusing on a meaningful object. Beware: once under an upir's thrall, distinguishing truth from illusion becomes a perilous challenge.

Beware. 

Beware.

The last time my fingers had numbed up like this, was the time Roman forced me to tell him what had happened between Jasmine and I. It felt like the autonomy of my thoughts evaporated, seeped out of my ears, and disappeared into Roman's grasp. 

However, at this moment right now, this moment of blinding pleasure and complete rapture of my soul and love, I wanted nothing more but this. I knew I wasn't being mesmerized of course, because upirs weren't real-- but as Roman kept my face still and my eyes on him, it felt like it. It was almost like I heard him telling me to cum. A few more thrusts were all it took, the complete transfixion of Roman's unnaturally dilated pupils swallowing me as I only saw green, green, green-- his hand quickly left my mouth to hear me cry out, a choked moan escaping me as the fear toppled me. This was an orgasm unlike anything else I had experienced, and I felt myself pulse around Roman's length, practically milking his cock as I struggled to grapple with the most intense climax of my life. "Fuck-- Fuck!" I whimpered, my nails digging further into his back as tears welled in my eyes. 

The mere sight of it was enough for Roman to nearly buckle over, and I was ripped out of the trance, heaving for air as he spilled into the condom, teeth grazing my shoulder as he tried to bite back his moans of pleasure, hips keening into my tight warmth. 

I slowly slid my hands off Roman's broad back, realizing we had both dripped sweat onto each other's skin as I hoped my breath would soon go back to normal. My body ached in a way it had never ached before, and I winced as Roman eventually pulled out of me with a sigh. 

There was a long moment after he rolled off of me where we simply gazed at each other. I watched the heave of his chest, the way his brown hair laid over his dangerous green eyes, and wondered how on earth I had been so lucky as to have him fall for me too.

However, suddenly, amid my awe, a small droplet of blood gathered at Roman's nose. To my surprise, he was completely unbothered. The look in his eyes told me he had an inkling this would happen, and it further confused me.

I leaned forward to wipe away the blood pooling at his upper lip with my thumb. "You're bleeding," I echoed, aware that I was stating the obvious.

Roman's eyes softened; "Are you, though?"

"... What do you mean?"

Shifting, he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer as his other hand slid between my legs, sliding a finger against the wetness of my sex as I squirmed, a short giggle escaping me as I nuzzled up against him. Roman then scanned his finger as I continued to wipe away the stream of blood coming from his nose, watching as it smeared against his cheek. He hummed; "You didn't bleed. At least that's good?"

"I guess?"

Roman kissed my bloodied thumb, a shaky breath escaping him at the taste of the iron; "How was that for you? You okay?"

If only he knew. "You were great," I purred, nipping at his jaw. "It was lovely, Rome."

He let out a breath; "Thank fuck," Roman murmured, visibly relieved. "And you were really damn sweet. I knew those fuck-me eyes would be the death of me... Sorry if it got a little intense at the end, there."

"No, no, that was-- fuck, that was so hot,"

Roman smiled. My sweet boy. Another kiss; "But now, there's one thing I wanted to do." He propped himself up on his elbow, and I closed my eyes as he made sure I laid with my back against the bed-- I was too tired to focus. The ache between my legs refused to subside, making me worried about the state of my thighs tomorrow. They better not fucking cramp up with every step, similar to the day after a hard session at the gym.

And just as I was about to ask him to return to me, to stop doing whatever the fuck he was doing, I suddenly felt a warm, slick substance drip onto my lower abdomen. With a gasp, I snapped out of my drowsiness, only to be met with the sight of Roman holding the condom above my stomach with a devilish grin, letting the content pour down on me.

He chuckled at the sight of my widened eyes, my speechless state-- "Didn't manage to cum here, as I said... so this will do,"

"Roman, for fuck's sake!" 

"What? You look good with my cum all over!--"

"Roman!"

"Fine!" he huffed. "Gonna go grab some wipes, I'll be right back. Anything else you need? Water?"

I wondered whether Roman realized how sweet he was being-- I glanced over at the candle flickering in the moonlight, the vial of my blood lying neatly next to it. The sight made my heart swell; God, how I loved him. It killed me that he couldn't know. I knew he'd run in the other direction if he did. "Water would be nice," I breathed, watching as Roman got dressed again. 

It all hit me like a wave, now;

The first time I got my heart broken, I had been at fault. 

The first time I got a black eye, I had swung the first punch.

But the first time I had sex? It had thankfully been with the man I loved. Still, I was sure the cosmic imbalance would catch up to me again and drag me back down into the dirt soon enough. 

But not right now.

Not right now.

Here, I was safe with Roman. The universe couldn't get me now, no-- not with the equivalent of the moon lying next to me. He had returned to me in no time, holding me close in his nearly immediate slumber after having lent me a shirt of his to sleep in. The cosmos wouldn't dare to touch me now. 

I adjusted the cover on top of us, kissing Roman's forehead; "Are you sleeping?" I whispered, poking his cheek with the gentlest of touches. 

No response. Phew. 

And just as I started to fade into sleep as well, I ran my thumb across the softness of his cheek. I connected our foreheads with a content sigh before I pressed my lips against his in a loving kiss. Roman looked so peaceful-- the universe wouldn't dare to take me now, wouldn't dare to wake him up. 

"I love you," I whispered like I would be put to death if I awoke him. With one last glance at the candle, my heavy lids fluttered as my heart cried;

"I love you,"

(a/n: thank you SO MUCH for reading this monster of a chapter!!<33 if you've made it all the way down here, here are all the other chapters if you're interested!!<33 MWAH)

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11

tagging those that seemed interested!!<333

@mentallyscreamingsincebirth @putherup @corawithfanfiction @vladsgirlxx

@iamaslytherin0 @sexualparkour @the-universe-is-complicated @heavenly-bratt

@lafemme-nk @namiusedbubble @useyourwandbro @strmborns @literally-lani

@virgosapphire79 @star-girl-04 @veyzus @ddipotassium @pecxiebu

@mil88691 @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @katifefe @sn0wybowie-blog

@lilithskywalker @likecherriesinthespring @sadheartjellyfish @vadersangel

@shehangsbrightly @burningmiraclekingdom @dollforaswan @austinswhitewolf

@nico-velvet @shiiiii-okayyyy

[cherryswisherz]

wilshire

paige x azzi

warnings: kissing, cheating, heartbreak, cursing, semi happy ending, most of this is written as a flashback, long as shit for no reasonnnn

it's the 2024 wnba draft. azzi's my plus one. nika and aaliyah are getting drafted tonight and i'm trying to keep my cool. because tonight is about them, not about me, not about azzi, not about our summer of utter fucking confusion.

lights from cameras flash. i smile, i mog, i pose. reporters are shoving mics in my face asking stupid questions as i guide azzi off the red carpet with my hand in a respectful position on her back. we have to find the girls before the draft starts. azzi wants to meet them before so it's not awkward at the after party. i'm trying to tune everything out but 6 words take me back to june and i freeze in my tracks.

"what's going on between you two?"

-

met you on a saturday knew it was somethin' soon as you spoke it eye fucking across the table, don't think anybody noticed you asked me if I was coming to the city you from maybe we should kick it, i was interested that would be dumb, if i denied

"paige..." that was the only thing she'd said directly to me all night. the rest of the time she'd spoke to everyone, answering their questions about how she met ethan, what her major was, etc. 

i'd been staring at her as she did this. studying the way she spoke with her hands, the flutter of her lashes, the bounce of her curls. her voice was so sweet and she always smiled when she wasn't talking so i could see her perfect fucking teeth. 

"where you from?" someone, i couldn't remember who, asked and she threw a glance my way, looking me dead in my eyes for a split second. 

i knew where she was from. we played against each other every year in high school. i was a year ahead of her. we never really paid attention to each other off the court, but i knew she was a killer player and an acl injury during her junior year took her out of the game for good

"uh- i'm from virginia. arlington county." she smiled as she cut her chicken. "me and paige played each other before i had to quit." she looked at me again, longer this time, and i damn near melted into the chair before she put her attention back on the conversation. 

"yeah she gave me a run for my money." i laughed, and that made her look at me again. she seemed confused, probably because i hadn't spoken this entire time. 

"my schools giving you a run for your money." she giggled and it was the most perfect sound i'd ever heard. "they say you're gonna be back when you guys play us next month. any truth to that?"

the competitive side of me took over when i answered her. "yeah i'll be back to tap dance on yalls ass in your own arena." 

"i guess we're in trouble then, huh?" she asked, her big brown eyes boring into mine.

you and i make sense, you stayed back at my telly we was chattin' 'til morning, vibration was heavy i wasn't drowning or yawning that's when i told you my feelings you told me you felt the same but you got homie you dealin' with damn, i didn't know, that's a bit unexpected but i get it, it's whatever, least i can do is respect it

after that dinner, azzi and i hadn't stopped texting and facetiming. it felt wrong because she was my friends girl, but i couldn't leave her alone. i wanted to be near her even if i couldn't see her in person until my team played hers. 

as predicted, we beat their ass and i made sure to remind azzi of that the whole ride back to her apartment. and when we got there, i took off my hoodie and plopped onto the couch. 

"so what we doing tonight? you wanna go out or stay in?" i asked her, praying she said stay in because i was dead tired. 

"definitely stay in." she said, sitting beside me on the couch. "lets put on a movie or something." 

and we did. we put a movie on. now did we watch the movie? no. 

we started talking, just yapping about any and everything. i was totally wrapped up in what she had to say, whether it was about school, or music, or anything really. i wasn't even tired anymore, she had my full attention. 

but then the conversation shifted to basketball and azzi's mood shifted with it. 

"sometimes i try and run 1v1 with ethan and for a second, i forget that my leg is fucked. for those 45 minutes i feel like everything is how i planned it to be." she looks at her knee poking out of her ripped jeans, then she rubs her scar. "and then i stand on it the wrong way and i remember that i'm not a player anymore. just a fan." the crack her voice forces me to grab her and pull her into me, letting her sob into my chest.

"az, you'll always be a baller. that shit's in your spirit ma." i almost wanna cry with her. "and even though you can't play anymore, you're one of the most beautiful people on the planet. and you're smart and you could do anything you wanted to do, basketball be damned."

a few minutes passed and she sniffled, looking up at me, and i got lost her red eyes and wet lashes. our faces were so close together, i could feel her breath on my nose. 

"i really like you azzi." 

fuck.  i shouldn't have said that.  she has a boyfriend.  her boyfriend is my fucking friend she's probably stra-

"i really like you too p." 

oh?

"but i'm with ethan. and he's good for me."

oh.

anyway, convince him to bring you to me so we can kick it right in front of his lenses, since nothing here is malicious you sat by me in that movie we went outside for them doobies we walkin' off when we talk man, that nigga not fucking stupid

"you should bring azzi to storrs with you." i suggested to ethan. "does she like horror movies?"

"uhhh yeah i think so..." he trailed off then scard the hsit out of m. "AZ! YOU WANNA COME WATCH A MOVIE WITH US?" i guess she asked who all was coming. "JUST ME AND PAIGE!" and then i guess she said yes. "okay paige, we'll be there in like 30." 

at the movies, in the five minutes i was waiting for them, i checked my hair 4 times, rearranged my jewelry twice and made sure my breath didn't smell like lunch. and when they got there i choked on my spit because azzi was wearing a sundress that hugged her in every right way. 

i honestly dont think there could be a wrong way. 

when she hugged me she whispered "i missed you." in my ear and dropped a light kiss on my neck that left me flushed. 

in the theater, i sat between her and ethan but we didn't really pay him any attention

"you look really good paige." azzi whispered to me. 

i looked down at my basic ass outfit (wifebeater and sweats), that i spiced up with jewelry and some fire shoes. "girl, this is lightweight." i whispered back.

"yeah well you look good in anything." 

"you look good too az," 

"you think so?" she's fishing.

"if your boyfriend wasn't next to me we wouldn't just be talking right now." i laughed, taking her bait. 

i got a laugh out of her and then she moved to hit me on the leg, but i caught her hand and tangled out fingers together, looking forward at the screen. she didn't move her hand. just set both of ours in my lap. and we stayed that way for like 15 minutes until she leaned into me and whispered again. 

"i hate horror movies, and he's snoring." she laughed pointing over me at her boyfriend who was knocked the fuck out. "can we leave?"

"yeah i got you." i thumped ethan on the head, causing him to jerk out of his sleep.  "yo. wake up, you're loud as hell. ya'll go home."

when we left the theater we walked out in silence but when we stared to say goodbye, azzi cleared her throat.

"actually, i wanna get something to eat really quick so, e, you can go home." she placed her hand on my shoulder, squeezing a little. "paige can you take me home after?"

my heart sped a little at the thought of being alone with her but i kept it P because her literal boyfriend was right next to me. 

"uh yeah if that cool with you?" i asked, not because i needed his permission, but because he's my friend and i wanted it. 

"yeah of course." he nodded then dapped me up "goodnight p."

"night." as soon as he was gone, i rubbed my hands together and looked down at azzi, catching those brown eyes in a way that made me think i never wanted to lose them. "so... where we boutta eat because im hungry as hell." 

"im not actually hungry, i just wanted to spend time with you." she said, putting her hands behind her back. "but you live here, so you pick."

"oh word?" i raised my eyebrows and put an arm around her shoulder, turning so we were side by side as we started walking towards my car. "imma take you to my spot."

"take me anywhere you like." she said, opening the passenger door, leaving me looking over the roof of my car, trying to keep it together until i got in the driver seat and began to queue a few songs. 

then i got a text. 

ethan: tell az to bring me a to-go plate

ethan. FUCK.

said you can't fully be into me 'cause you with him then why the fuck when we link it's like he doesn't exist? they all know that we're friends but we both aware that it's more everything i got, if you say the word, then it's yours

the party was loud as shit. i was drunk as shit. azzi was drunk as shit. ethan was nowhere to be found. 

"paige i have to peeeee." azzi whined into my ear. 

"okay come on." i shouted, guiding her to the bathroom, which was empty. 

while she was in the stall, i drank some water from the faucet, because i was so fucked up and i think that's why i haven't been able to stop thinking about her.

about how fucking hot she looked in her outfit. about how long her natural lashes were. about how soft her lips looked. about the heat radiating from her body as she danced with me. 

shes so fucking pretty.

"oh my god i feel so much better!" she shouted into the universe as she came out of the stall and started washing her hands. 

i think i just wanted to be close to her again because i moved behind her and hugged her from behind. with my head in her neck, i kissed her softly moaning quietly, "you smell so good, az." 

she turned around in my arms, facing me and i kept kissing her neck, moving to her collarbones, then i pulled away and we just stared at each other for a second. 

it was like a silent conversation, asking each other "are we really gonna do this?"

and i guess the answer was yes, because azzi leaned in and place a single peck on my lips, then pulled away with the speed of light. 

but one wasn't enough. so i leaned back in and enveloped her lips with mine. our mouths moved in perfect harmony, giving me everything i'd wanted since that dinner so long ago. she moaned into my mouth, and i picked her up, placing her on the sink behind her. 

we just kept kissing, caressing each others tongues, rolling our bodies into each others, both of us enjoying the way the other person felt. 

....until she pulled away, pushing me back when i chased her lips. 

"paige we can't." she said, trying to catch her breath. 

"azzi..."

"i have a boyfriend, paige." she sounded kind of sad as she said it. 

"i know az." i said, walking back up to her. "but tell me there's nothing here." i grabbed her hands. "tell me, that these past 3 months, you haven't felt what i feel."

"you know i do paige. i wouldn't have kissed you if i didn't." she looked at me with tears in her eyes. 

you told me when you're with me it's like heroin told me that your confidence went up since we befriended

"when im with you, i feel like i'm floating. like it's just us and that's all i'll ever need. you're-" she sniffled. "you're the only person who gets how much not being able to play fucking sucks. and you made me feel better about it. you make me feel like so much more than a fan, or just a person in the stands. and no one's ever made me feel that way."

and told me that you didn't wanna hurt him

"but ethan, p. ethan is my boyfriend. hes your friend. and he's so good to me. he loves me. and i can't do that to him."

why we doing this?

"so why kiss me then azzi?" i asked. "why the fuck would you let me touch you, or say the things we say, or let me buy you shit? why did you fucking kiss me?!" 

it was harsh, i know but she fucking played me and i was pissed. 

told me this a awkward situation and you just wanna be through with it

"i don't know paige. and i'm sorry." she kept crying. i assume she felt guilty, and i couldn't give less of a fuck. "this isn't easy for either of us. but i think we should just be friends. i don't wanna lose ethan, but i don't wanna lose you as a friend either. 

i snatched my hands out of hers and back away from her so fast, you would have though she had the plague. 

"friend? azzi. you were never 'a friend' to me. i liked you as soon as i saw you in that fucking restaurant. and i tried to be respectful. i tried to respect your relationship but you were the one who made me think you wanted me. you were the one lying to your fucking boyfriend to spend time with me. sneaking into the bathroom to facetime me at 11 at night. you were the one who kissed me. you. it was all fucking you. and now... now youre asking me to be friends? fuck outta here bro." i said, then walked out of the stall and out of the bar.

i know you could be it and everyone around me that care about me can see it i could fuck a trillion bitches every country i done been in men or women, it don't matter if i seen 'em, then i had 'em but with you, it's a feeling

i was still plastered, so i had nothing but time to think about the situation. 

i knew azzi and i could be great, if she just gave it- gave us- a chance. i knew she wanted to. i knew she felt what i was feeling. i'd have known even if she didn't say it. i also knew she didn't feel for ethan, what she felt for me. but she felt an obligation to him. why? i have no idea. but i just wish she would have made up her fucking mind before sticking her tongue down my throat. 

and i know what you're thinking. 

she just wanted to smash.

and that's not true. me and azzi aren't a quick fuck. 

i mean i'm not opposed to a quick fuck. it wasn't a secret that i was bit of a slut. i mean can you blame me? 

d1 athlete, making bank off NIL money. and every girl in every city i went to, wanted a piece of me. who was i to deny them? 

so yeah i guess you can say i got around, but none of that mattered when it came to azzi. she wasn't just a groupie looking for a quick fuck, or to be a basketball wife. she was a baller. if anything she wanted to live vicariously through me and compete again. and i was willing to let her do just that. 

azzi was the object of my affection for three fucking months. i knew everything about her. i fucking craved her. i knew it was wrong. i knew she was my friends girlfriend. but i couldn't quit her. 

my teammates could tell that i had feelings for her too. anytime i was on the phone for more than 10 minutes, they knew it was hr. they picked on my for it, calling me a simp. kk nicknamed me 'sidepiece' which was a nice change from 'community strap' but it stung worse. 

whatever. 

fuck her. 

you said you told him the truth and you never lied now he lookin' at you with them eyes we never crossed the line but he got every right to be a little pissed off he you picked up, y'all got in argument he got his shit off

two weeks after the bar incident, i'd somewhat gotten myself together. figured out how to sleep without her goodnight text. found new favorite spot to eat. slept with someone without seeing azzis face. i'd found a new routine. 

and then it all went to shit. 

"azzi? its 9:30 at night, why are you calling me?" she answered my question with a sob. "azzi baby what's wrong?

"paige... he- he knows.." she cried into the phone. 

"who knows what, az?"

"ethan!" more crying. "he-he-he asked me out no where if you and i had something going on."

"shit." 

"and i couldn't lie to him paige. i told him we never had sex, but-but i told him how i felt about you, and that i kissed you and he just went off." she was crying so hard, i could narely understand her. "he said he should have known not to trust me around you when i told him i was bi, and that you couldn't let him have one thing, and that he couldn't look at me and- and- and-" she started hyperventilating. 

"azzi baby i need you to calm down for me. breathe babe." i mimicked the way she should breathe and got her to calm down enough to listen to me. "azzi. i'm gonna come get you. send me your location and just stay there and stay calm."

"okay..."

i never drove so fast in my fucking life.

i picked you up, your energy off your lips really dry, something is off you asked if i gotta, i asked if you gotta we tripping on our words nobody is lying, hakuna matata we sat in the car and cried for an hour

as soon as i got to the starbucks azzi was at, i looked at her through the window and my heart broke for her. she was in pajamas and a bonnet. those beautiful brown eyes i'd grown so fond d were red and swollen, lashes wet with tears. her soft lips weren't soft anymore. they looked dehydrated, that's how much she'd cried. 

when she got in the car, she didn't say anything. just played with the sleeves of ethans hoodie. 

"do you-" "i'm so-"

we spoke at the same time, then waited for the other to say what they were gonna say. 

"i'm really sorry paige." she whimpered. "i never meant for any of this to happen. i never meant to hurt you or him. and i shouldn't have called you after what happened." she broke down again. "god i'm so fucking sorry." she cried with her head in her hands. 

"hey..." i rubbed her shoulder, "it's fine. you made a mistake and it's okay. "

"i'm so sorry." she just kept sobbing. she was too upset to hear anything i was saying. "i love you too much to have done that to you paige. im so sorry."

and time stopped. 

she WHAT?!

she said she loved me. she said-  no. she's hysterical right now she doesn't realize what she's saying.

ignoring the pit in my chest, i bring her closer to me, making us both lean over the center console. her head fell perfectly into my chest and she let everything she had out. 

as i held her, and felt her whole body shake as she cried, my heart shattered with hers and shed a few tears with her.

on god, i love that girl i'm a sh-, i'm a bad person like, i'm in the wrong, i'm a bad person i had no ill intentions, though shit, everybody got hurt i got hurt

i never meant for any of this to happen. i pride myself on being a good friend, and being loyal to those who are loyal to me. 

and the one time it really mattered, i had to fall for my friends girlfriend. and he really like her too. i think if i hadn't fucked it up, they could have been great. but i did. and it's ruined. 

and all this for what?

for ethan to be hurt? for me to lose a friend? for azzi to feel like shit? for me to have to act like i'm not hopelessly in love with azzi?

and i'm mad private with this side of my life cause people are weirdos, and i just try to keep anyone i care about in the shadows safe from the commentary and spotlight and thoughts cause it's just a story for the people outside of it but i guess you're just another chapter in a book

and here we are, at the 2024 wnba draft in support of my teammates. 3 days ago, i would have been here alone. 

but azzi needed a pick me up and i would rather her be her friend than nothing at all. 

so instead of breaking down about what could have been on a red carpet, i smile, lean into th mic and say, 

"azzi is one of my closes friends. she was supposed to be one of the greats and if she hadn't gotten hurt, she would have been drafted next year. so i just wanted her to see it in real life because she's so much more than a fan. she deserves to be here with us."

i looked at her and smiled, pulling her to the back rooms of the building where nika and aaliyah were getting ready. 

but between the two of us....

i would shoot someone in the face if it meant azzi would light up like that again.

niyah speaks: here we areeeeee s/o my tyler fans CHROMOKOPIA 10-28 !!!! i'm finna do yall requests over the weekend because i have nothing else to do so... be prepared!

taglist: @patscorner @riyahtheballer @mattslolita @thaatdigitaldiary @1onescu

@mrsengstler @kmoneymartini @sageworld @darkskinchristiandiorpostergirl @justliketoreadsowhat @authentic-girl03

[dramadramallama]

not really analyzing much, just making a few notes of the things that stood out to me in the first 4 eps of light shop. i haven't read the webtoon so it's more like i'm blindly pointing at things like a child hahaha

NAMES

All (?) the names called out when the teacher does attendance in the first episode have a (direct) translation (to something positive.) I noticed because 1. some of them are really unusual, and 2. they ALL are words, like no one's just named Ji-soo or something in this class lol:

Ip-sae (입새) - entrance/beginning

Nu-ri (누리) - (old fashioned) world/universe

Ha-neul (하늘) - sky/heaven

Gi-ppeum (기쁨) - joy

Eu-tteum (으뜸) - fundamental/basic (possibly: "the first")

Ga-eul (가을) - fall/autumn

Chuk-bok (축복) - wishing happiness/blessed

Bo-bae (보배) - treasure/priceless

Mi-rae (미래) - future

Do-dam (도담) - (possibly from 도담하다) be bold/stand out/accomplished (?)

Haet-sal (햇살) - sunlight

Now you're gonna say, well Hyun-ju (who keeps going to the light shop as an errand for her mom) is also in that class! She's seemingly the only one with a "normal" sounding name. Out of curiosity I did search hers, and interestingly, I found a few meanings too: 1. address of residence, 2. water used in ancestral rites (!) 3. stay in the present, live life (!!)

Side note: Haet-sal is also the name of the Detective's (unborn?) child. He chooses the name himself out of the ones his wife wrote down. It could be a coincidence, except most of the first names she pre-selected are the exact names of the students in that class.

I can't read all of them, but there are a few I recognize: Gi-ppeum, Ha-neul, Chuk-bok, Eu-tteum, Bo-bae... (there's also Sa-rang "love", or Haeng-bok "happiness" in the list)

HYUN-JU AND HER MOM

We're not shown Hyun-ju unconscious in the hospital, like all the other main players who are trying/failing to find a way out (the will to live/the will to move on)... But she clearly also is at the threshold between life and death. Maybe she is living, but able to unknowingly go between worlds?

The light shop seems to be the doorway to "home" or maybe "heaven" (as evidenced by Mr Twisty Legs, who keeps trying to "reach" the shop, and when he does get there, he doesn't cross the threshold and loops back to his solitary karaoke session in the dark rainy alleyway.

Dead or alive, Hyun-ju is basically invisible. She hangs out with her friends but she is not interacted with. It's really fun, if you go back and watch the scenes, no one directly talks to her, looks at her, or touches her. When she speaks, she's not acknowledged by the three friends. It's really clever: something's off, but it can be attributed to the girls being chaotic, not purposefully ignoring her. Eu-tteum is the only one who, barely awake, at the frontier between dream and reality, finally "sees" her. It's directly after that event that she sees the other ghost/spirit, whose body is missing (and whom the Detective is still looking for)

Hyun-ju's mom is revealed to be the body being embalmed. Her spirit (soul?) has a conversation with the Funeral Director and when she asks, "am I alone?" she surprisingly sounds relieved when he replies that she is. Is she relieved her daughter is not with her (meaning not dead yet?) She also cries and is worried about being left in the dark, which parallels painfully with the fact that she keeps seeking light, apparently asking her daughter to get her light bulbs over and over. The Funeral Director reassures her that she'll go to a place where it's very bright (=the Light Shop being very allegorical here)

Hyun-ju and her mom also live on the 8th floor of that apartment building, while the Intensive Care Unit is also on the 8th floor at the hospital. Bus Stop Guy also lives on the 8th floor of Hyun-ju's apartment building.

BUT... maybe Hyun-ju is the one keeping her mom from passing on, stubbornly buying her light bulbs that bring no light, and inevitably end up in the trash. Or is she helping...? Has she been dead ever since she was little (she still has that necklace she had as a kid, with her info on it in case she gets lost) and has been waiting for her mom all this time? The Shop Keeper even emphasizes that he sees her as a small child, unwrapping the candy for her.

When offered, Hyun-ju always picks the yellow (=light/sun) candies. The whole show feels like a giant allegory about Light and Dark, Life and Death.

SYMBOLISM/FOLKLORE

I don't know much, but I do remember that a common horror trope in Asian legends/stories is that ghosts can be recognized because they "clap with the back of their hands". I immediately thought of that when they show the Lady in White's weird hands (the inside of her hands is actually the back of it. The nails are all wrong, I FLINCHED) She's strangely interested in whether people are "alone" or "together", and who "knows" each other. She also needs to be invited inside explicitly to step into Bus Stop Guy's house, like creatures in a lot of folk tales.

The Shop Keeper never welcomes his customers inside... but greets them by asking a question: "how did you get there/what brings you here/how can I help?" The lights in his shop are not to be touched.

The Detective has a defective lamp on his desk, and cannot seem to light up his lighter anymore. He also sees people/things he shouldn't. The Nurse says "if you see people who are on the border of life and death, doesn't that mean you are too?" which obviously, he is now, since we see him in a hospital bed in the ICU. Maybe his wife and child are waiting for him to wake up...?

Lots of imagery with mirrors, which are common symbols for doorways, a limit between two worlds.

I know it's not, but New Tenant's outfit is also very reminiscent of a hospital gown (first image). When she settles in the new house, she puts away her shoes and does not seem to notice the bright red heels (the same ones the Very Tall Extremely Scary Woman wears, indicating she is inside the house with her).

The song my guy Mr Twisted Legs sings (badly) to give himself courage is the same one the Nurse makes her patients listen to (and the same one she was listening to when she was in a coma herself, "wandering aimlessly," "almost giving up" before she found her way back to the living). The characters on life support can all interact with each other in the alleyway, but are also completely isolated from each other: New Tenant does not hear Twisted Legs' cries over her own, and vice versa, even when they cry out for the same thing, "to get out of there."

They all share the same space in the ICU, but are locked in their own world. Do their collective consciousness populate that "other" world, mixing up elements of their life and memories?

Clearly, the theme of the deceased, unable pass on peacefully, who remain behind (due to something unresolved?) is prevalent. Does it create--not ghosts exactly--but an energy, an entity embodying the "regret," the "mourning [of] something they lost"?

Now, what I find interesting is: what does "I want to leave, I want to go home" mean for each of them? To peacefully pass on, accept death, move on, and forget? Or does it mean to fight, to find the will to live, thanks to those who wish us well? Is the Light (shop) the way back to life, or the way to the after-life? Or both?

[threepandas]

Bad End: Happy Hunting! (1)

I should have known better. They told us. TRAINED US. Over and over, drilled into our heads! Don't assume! Don't PROJECT Human body language onto alien species! Think that just because they look similar, are ACTING similar, their brains are in any way WORKING similar!

Not every species pack bonds! Some of them are PREDATORS. Be CAREFUL!

I was an idiot. A fucking IDIOT!

I gasped for air. Ran. Ran and ran and RAN. Desperately trying to put distance between me and the hunters behind me. I could hear screams. Crashing. The sound of weapon fire. The air here wasn't RIGHT. Too high in oxygen? Too low? Some other trace element, slowly poisoning my lungs?

I didn't know. Scared! Oh god, I'm so scared!

I thought he was my friend!

Thought THEY were my friends! Stupid. So God damned stupid! You really will pack bond with ANYTHING, won't you?! They bare their teeth and you fucking thought it was a SMILE! No wonder I barely graduated. They never should have-!

A root catches my foot.

Crashing to the mulch of the forest floor. Scramble to get up. My ankle on fire. Hurts. Oh god it hurts! Ignore it. Go! Keep going! Gotta get OUT! Find a ship. Any ship! Radio for help!

All the trees look the same. Am I even going in a straight line? Deeper or across? Away from civilization? I don't know how to survive here! Can I even drink the water? No. Run! Just RUN! Nothing else!

I can't hear them.

Him.

I thought he was my friend.

My grades were shit. Worst of the Best, but ultimately good enough. Got to see the stars. The galaxy. Meet real life aliens. Was a glorified gofer for the Earthling Diplomat's Entourage. Galactic Council offered staff. Wasn't really an offer. We took um. Some of them were the "better" guards then the super military badasses we had brought.

Military badasses were pretty offended.

But I was a gofer. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Just here for the aliens, right? Yay getting to meet some, right? I couldn't even PRONOUNCE their species name. I was mortified. Tried my damnedest. They thought it was hilarious. My pronunciation was god awful. Was calling them the cutesy babified version of "office chair".

Met Wolfe. He seemed FRIENDLY. Kind. Considerate. He told jokes. Asked about my day. I started sharing. Hobbies and interests. Stories about home. Explained weird human behaviors. We were close. I... I thought we were close! Was it a lie? Was everything A LIE!?

When my rotation in space was coming to an end, I was SAD! Fucking HEARTBROKEN! That I might never see my friends again. Since communication between our two planets wasn't even stabilized yet. Might never be. I wanted to savor our time together. Treasure it!

But then things started to go wrong.

Random malfunctions, that delayed and delayed us. Lost communications that nearly caused interplanetary incidents. Took days and weeks to fix at a time. People went MISSING. We looked. Every time we LOOKED!

They're dead, aren't they? Oh god. Dozens of crew members DEAD.

Then the engine "broke". Conveniently just close enough for us to make an emergency landing on this planet! And oh, would you look at THAT! A sacred cultural festival!? They won't help us unless we join in.

It's a MARRIAGE HUNT.

Heavy emphasis on the HUNT part!

They weren't surprised. Not a single one. Every last one just turned too different people and... and...! Wolfe planned this. THEY planned this! We're gonna die. I trusted him and now I'm gonna DIE! Can't breathe! Branches whipping at my arms and hair and face, as I RUN. Down slopes. Across shallow rivers. Even as my limbs BURN. I... I HAVE TOO-!

A powerful wall of muscle slams into me.

I scream. Thrash, even as I fall. My arms are easily tucked and pinned against my side, as the body covering mine rolls with me down a slight incline. The smell of wet plant matter and upturned soil thick in the strange air. Dizzy. I feel sick. Oh god please no!

Heat and pressure pin me down. Arms like thick steel bands. Still, I struggle, like a cornered animal. I have too. They always tell you to FIGHT. Only chance and survival. The deep rumble of crooned reassurances in an alien dialect fill my ear. I can feel how DEEPLY he breathes me in, before each sentence. Like hes been holding back and finally no longer has too, is giddy with it. How his hands already spread possessively, eager to explore.

And he's strong. Oh god, he's so strong! Please please please! Let go. LET GO!

"Shhhhhh shh shh, is 'okay' now. I have you. You ran so hard! Did so well! My precious little human~ so brave. So strong. You did it! Now, no one can EVER seperate us! You don't have to worry anymore. No more tears~" Hunter, Warrior, oh god it was never a GRIN-! His teeth are so sharp. Pressed so close to my skin!

"I'll take care of EVERYTHING~"

I'm scared.

[inkmemes]

never stop blowing up  (  2024-  )  e01 : be kind, rewind sentence  starters ↪  taken  from  dimension 20's 22nd season.  alter  as  you  see  fit  ♡

“oh wait, i have to come up with the name right now!”

“this was the thing i forgot to do!”

“oh shit! wait, actually, that's… wait, actually?”

“ooh, look at my lovely cardigan!”

“i did think you were going to say tits.”

“that actually does really help me remember.”

“it's for parties. it's for chill kickbacks.”

“i think that's incredible.”

“it's a giant wrench.”

“without siblings, we're nothing.”

“you're gonna get me in trouble with my boss again. you can't do donuts in the parking lot.”

“it scares away the customers.”

“you're not gonna stay for the whole shift, are you?”

“i don't know what you're gonna eat, but that's not gonna be good when it's cold.”

“hey, you better make a move fast, man.”

“things are scary down there.”

“you do what you want, but at the end of the day, you're wasting your time at a place like this.”

“this is a dead end.”

“you need to take your life seriously, man.”

“i watch anime.”

“webster's is trash.”

“these kids, sweeties, they're not going anywhere. they're not going anywhere, believe me.”

“sorry, i was going to invite you to go out for a drink.”

“what are you gonna do in the big world?”

“i take it back. i take it back.”

“you're gonna bury us all.”

“i'll get the information somehow. you can trust me!”

“do me a favor. step behind this door.”

“what's behind the door?”

“he got squished to death.”

“who are you calling?”

“that's okay, i'll just pick them up from here when i come.”

“that's nice. i do like that.”

“oh my god, i keep calling people about that phone. it doesn't work.”

“what if i have to call i have to scream for them or something. good thing i have life alerts everywhere.”

“say hi to everybody! everybody you see, say hi.”

“you're drawing a spreadsheet by hand?”

“you may not be able to push buttons on that keyboard, but you push my buttons every day.”

“[name], you're my rock, and i am counting on you.”

“what do you need? i'll be right there.”

“can you do me a favor, sweetheart?”

“that's incredible, man. i'm so happy for you.”

“i always wondered what we might have done together, but then again, as you always say, you work alone.”

“i think you'd only slow me down, [name].”

“do you need a ride, or are you just gonna get there yourself?”

“what've you got going on here?”

“i can't believe you guys are closing down. what the hell? that's crazy, i can't believe it. why are you guys shutting down?”

“i just love the vibe.”

“i don't think there's any long-term ramifications of having no sort of collective ownership of actual, real, concrete media.”

“sorry, i just popped a really big mint in.”

“thank god, man. thank god you're here.”

“he looks like anybody, and he looks like everybody.”

“i'll give you one second to change your mind and not embarrass yourself.”

“i'd hate to have lunch with you.”

“dude's kinda weird.”

“what's going on with you?”

“what've you been doing on facebook all day?”

“why don't you let go, [name]? i let go, and i'm feeling amazing, all right?”

“what'd you ask? you want to rip my carpet?”

“i can't believe what that fucker was saying.”

“i could pick them up tomorrow for you.”

“god, it's hot in here. do you want a fan or something?”

“i've never tried that.”

“what the hell? are you okay?”

“you callin' me a chicken, [name]? ’cause i'm actually the cock of the walk.”

“god, that's fucking cool.”

“i think you're technically right once again, there.”

“i'm good, i'm good. living my best life. living my hottest sexy single life.”

“oh, you wrote it down, like old-fashioned style.”

“i left this post-it note in your lunch cubby.”

“we could get cataract surgery together, if you wanted.”

“this is eye-opening for me.”

“you just keep doing it. you just go and you do it again, and then you do it again.”

“you already said your name.”

“we're gonna kind of have a party of sorts.”

“a bottle of wine, then, is called for.”

“i think you can probably hang up.”

“he kind of sounded like a wizard or something.”

“oh my god, the tv's broken. everything's breaking.”

“you know what? i'll come with you.”

“is everything okay at home?”

“it was an accident. she didn't mean to.”

“you spent $400 on pants?”

“i hope i have arrived in time to join the festivities.”

“it was a joint effort.”

“did you eat those seeds yourself?”

“i never grow tired of it. i watch it again and again and again.”

“how do you know my name?”

“sorry, what was your question?”

“little bit of snow for your ski trip.”

“oh my god, i'm hideous!”

[diy-fire-water-pups]

(( End of the "Troll Gift" story, in which a follower of this blog gifted Marshall a small stone statue, but Marshall didn't know it was a magical Troll item which would become a large destructive Golem. For those unfamiliar with this item, it's from the "Tales Of Arcadia" series. ))

Marshall had no time to waste- kind of literally.

What used to be a small stone statue of sorts, now had grown to be a giant made of mud, some grass and small stones, all from the Lookout yard. It took a couple steps ahead and looked around, like an angry grizzly bear which had just been woken up from hibernation before due time.

Marshall gulped as he began stepping back as quietly as possible, but just as he was succeeding in getting far from the monster, he stepped on a squeaky toy, forgotten on the grass after being played with.

The Golem turned to look. Spotting the startled pup, it advanced towards him, lifting its arms. With a scream, the Dalmatian pup took off running away.

For a moment he was relieved to notice the monster wasn't really fast, but he was heavy and definitely wasn't happy. When he ran past the Lookout's playground, he heard Zuma calling and got pulled by his collar into one of the structures.

“Marshall, what the hell is that thing?” Zuma questioned in a hushed tone, hoping they wouldn't be heard.

“I don't know what happened!” The spotted pup panicked. “One minute it was a small stone statue, the next it was just growing out of control. I don't know why or how–!”

“Ssshh!”

The Lab placed a paw over Marshall’s mouth as the Golem stomped by and went ahead, looking for them.

“Last thing I saw before running was that we need to hit it dead center and destroy the stone statue inside.” Marshall whispered as soon as Zuma released his mouth. “I don't have anything to hit with, though!”

“It's made of dirt, do you think we can wash it away with your fire truck hose?”

“I'm not sure, it looks too solid– Oh no.”

“Oh no…? What are you seein- Oh no.”

Zuma followed Marshall's glance and saw that the Golem, seemingly annoyed for not finding the pups, was now heading towards Chase’s Pup-House, which was the closest.

“Dude he's gonna wreck Chase's house! We gotta find a way to get it away from here before he starts destroying everything!”

“He's looking for me, right?”

Not waiting for an answer, Marshall ran out of their hiding place and barked as loud as he could to call the monster's attention.

It worked.

Maybe a little too much.

Not even five full seconds later, Marshall was now running for dear life down the road to the woods with the Golem hot on his tail.

“Zuma, get the crystals! I'll keep it distracted but I don't know how long!”

**********//////////**********

Rocky was on his way back home from his Garage, just about to finish crossing the bridge towards the Lookout and he did NOT like what he saw. For a moment, that large creature glared at him as he slammed on the brakes and skidded his truck to a stop, but it lasted just a moment. The monster seemed to lose interest quickly and resumed its pursuit after the Dalmatian.

Just a few moments after, Zuma piloted his hovercraft down the ramp going after them.

“Hey Rocky! No time to explain, follow me!”

Revving the engine, the mixed breed pup accelerated until he caught up with Zuma.

“Where did that thing come from?”

“Marshall's stone statue! We gotta destroy the statue inside it, the problem is how to reach in there and that's where you can help!”

Before Rocky could question, Zuma threw a meteor crystal for him, which he barely caught and it immediately magnetized to his Pup-Tag.

“I don't know if you're aware, Zuma, but we're in the woods! There's nothing here I can use to hit–”

“Really? Don't tell me your truck's empty! It's NEVER EMPTY!”

Of course. Rocky would've facepalmed if he wouldn't have his paws busy steering his truck on the dirt road. Marshall and the mud monster were just ahead now, the Dalmatian didn't go far and was now dodging the Golem's attempts to smash him.

“I'll try to slow it down for you!” Stopping his hovercraft, Zuma sat on the front hood and sprayed water from his paws, creating large mud puddles on the ground around the giant. The Golem slipped and lost balance, falling down.

“It's working!” Marshall celebrated, taking the chance to run over to their side, climbing onto the recycle truck. “Now we just need to…”

He fell silent as the three pups witnessed the Golem getting back up and assimilating more mud onto his already massive body. Rocky and Marshall both turned to look at Zuma, who shrunk in place with an awkward panicked smile.

“Oops. I think I only got him angrier.”

“Angrier? You gave him MORE MUD!” Rocky nearly screamed but held it back.

“There’s gotta be a way to–!! WOAH!!”

Again Marshall was interrupted, this time as Rocky floored it and drifted an U-turn to run away from the Golem, which was now targeting his truck - probably because Marshall was there now. The Dalmatian held onto the cargo's top to not fall off and crawled over next to the front where Rocky was driving as fast as he could on the bumpy road.

Zuma came right after them. “We gotta find a way to restrain it somehow!”

“You called?”

A loud engine roar could be heard just before a coral-pink colored motorcycle with turquoise blue and white highlights arrived from across the woods, quickly aligning to drive beside Rocky's truck.

“Liberty???” All three pups were surprised.

“What are you doing here?” Zuma asked from behind.

“I got a message saying you guys needed urgent help! Let me guess, that statue over there got tired of standing still?”

“You could say that!” Marshall chuckled awkwardly. “It's all my fault…”

“No, it's not!” Rocky was quick to cut him off, as they reached the paved road once more. “You had no idea!”

“Well, I do have one idea, but you won't like it!” Liberty looked back at the Golem before turning to the pups. “I can hold it for a moment, so Marshall can melt the pavement to get it stuck and Zuma can blast water to wash off as much mud as he can…”

“... And then I can hit it with something until we break the stone statue!” Rocky completed with a grin. “Why wouldn't we like this idea?”

“Guess who's probably getting wet, fixing the road and cleaning all the leftover mess later?”

“... Oh.”

**********//////////**********

Liberty went ahead to put her motorcycle aside and prepared to do her part as soon as Rocky and Zuma would drive by her.

This first part of the plan worked well, as she managed to wrap herself around the Golem, but it only slowed him down from somewhat running to walking. With its short legs still free, she couldn't make it stop entirely.

“Marshall!!!” She called, grabbing onto a tree to try and hold the monster back, with little success. “Little help here???”

The Dalmatian gulped and leaped from the truck, rushing back with his crystal already magnetized to his Pup-Tag.

“Here goes nothing…!” He stopped at a short distance from the Golem and pressed his front paws to the pavement, overheating it as fast as he could. It acted as a very thick and stinky quicksand, as the Golem sank half to his short legs into the newly melted tar pit, unable to pull himself out from that hot black goo.

Liberty had to let go of the giant, as it was getting now too hot for her to stand being there just above melted tar. As soon as she shrunk back to her normal size, the Dachshund rushed to hide behind Zuma, who jumped off from his hovercraft and focused on blasting the strongest stream of water he could manage.

With such strength, the water blast was able to slowly wash a lot of mud away from the Golem, weakening him as he had less and less mud armor around its core - the stone statue - to protect it. The water spraying on the melted tar immediately steamed with a loud hiss and refreshed it, making it harden again, which caused the Golem to get even more stuck, completely unable to escape.

Furious, it started flailing around, flinging whatever mud balls and stones were still a part of its body at the pups. They all retreated, sheltering themselves behind the vehicles.

“Ow, I just buffed my truck yesterday!” Rocky protested as some stones hit his vehicle, leaving some scratches on it. He groaned while digging through the pile of random stuff inside until he found a thin metal pipe. That should do it! But the Golem kept shoving rocks at his truck, so he also picked up a broken chair to use as a shield.

Fully equipped, the gray pup ran away from his hiding spot, with his improvised shield protecting himself from whatever the Golem threw at him. Startled, Rocky noticed the ground was also cracking… The Golem was about to set himself free again! He had to be fast!

“Alright, you wanna play baseball? Catch these!!”

Rocky approached the monster, hitting the stones and flinging them back with his metal pipe, moving it with ease by using his magnetic powers. Once he was close enough, he swatted the pipe at the Golem.

Even weakened, the mud around it was still strong and sticky, Rocky couldn't get through it like that... Not to mention every time he beat mud away, it would crawl back to regenerate the damaged parts of the monster! So, Rocky changed tactics and focused all his might to move the pipe away and then bring it back full force, stabbing across the Golem just below the chest area.

The stone statue was successfully pushed out of the Golem, falling to the ground a few yards away, such was the force of the impact. Without it, the Golem collapsed and broke down, defeated. Not satisfied yet, Rocky rushed to the place where the smaller statue fell and hit it several times with the pipe until it was broken beyond recognition.

“Woah, chill it, Rocky!” Zuma chuckled as he came closer, still slightly wary. “I'm pretty sure it won't get back up anymore.”

“Well, not after that, for sure.” Liberty came right after the Labrador, eyeing the remains of the statue.

Marshall walked up to them as well, slower and making himself as small as possible, ears and tail down, with a sad expression as he glanced over at the damage caused on Rocky's truck. “I'm sorry for all this…”

“No, you can stop right there.” Rocky cut him off again and let go of the pipe, placing it on the ground as his front paws ceased glowing. He turned to Marshall with a serious look on his face. “It's not your fault. None of this was your fault.”

“Yeah, you literally had no idea. None of us knew about it!” Zuma stood beside Rocky, agreeing with him. “It could have happened to any of us.”

“But… Someone tried to warn me and I didn't understand it.” The Dalmatian tried to insist, sitting and looking down while circling the ground with his paw. “I should be more careful. We got so many gifts lately, I was just… I don't know.”

“We should be more careful when accepting gifts from strangers, sure.” Rocky sat down as well. “But even then, you couldn't have possibly guessed this statue was gonna grow and attack you.”

“It was really a gift from someone?” Liberty glanced at the broken pieces again, raising an eyebrow. “Looks more like someone tried to take advantage and attack you guys!”

“One way or another, if there's someone who should be sorry, it's the dude who gave you this thing.” Zuma glared at the pieces too. “He should know it's dangerous!”

“That's assuming it wasn't his intention from the start.” Rocky growled. He hated to think someone really did that and his protective instincts were rising up, he could feel it.

“Deliberate attack?” Zuma frowned, as Marshall looked away.

“We may never know.” The gray pup sighed. “But one thing for sure, I don't trust him anymore.”

“I don't even know who it was, but I'm with you.” Liberty agreed. “This… Statue thing was very strong, I could barely hold his arms to slow it down. Who would give anyone a statue that attacks you? It's crazy!”

“Okay, guys, I think that's enough.” Zuma called their attention, motioning his head towards Marshall, who had gotten up and was walking away, towards the Lookout down the road. “He's not okay and I bet he's gonna keep blaming himself for this mess, you know how he is.”

“That's what makes me even angrier.” Rocky growled again. “Why him? He was just finally back to being himself after that whole deafness issue. This is gonna take ages for him to recover and stop blaming himself and it wasn't even his fault!”

“Deafness issue?” Liberty questioned. That was new for her.

“Long story.” Rocky sighed. “Turns out Marshall might become deaf when he grows up due to some bad genetics stuff. We've been over this by now, but it took him some time to stop brooding all over the Lookout yard.”

“Anyway, yeah, I'm angry now too...” Zuma sighed, looking at the Dalmatian go. “But now Marshall needs our support. We won't do any good if we just get mad. He probably thinks it's his fault for just accepting all gifts without suspecting from anything or anyone.”

“As if we weren't all doing the same thing.” Rocky rolled his eyes.

“Should we go after him?” The Dachshund questioned. “I can stay here for a while if you need me. I'd like to help him.”

“What about the city's HQ?” Zuma asked her.

“Carmen and Tony can keep an eye on things and the tots will be around with them too.” Liberty smiled proudly. “Those furballs are doing really well with their few duties and training. They can handle themselves for a day or two!”

“If you say so…” The Labrador shrugged. “Come on. I'll give Marshall a lift back home, we can worry about fixing this road later.”

**********//////////**********

It had been a few hours after they went back to the Lookout. Rocky, Zuma and Liberty reported everything that happened to Ryder and the other pups, while Marshall locked himself in his Pup-House and hadn't left ever since. Not even Chase managed to convince him to open the door, so Ryder told them to leave him be. He would come out when he would feel like it, they just needed to give him some time.

In the meantime, the other pups went out to the location where the fight happened, to clean off the debris and fix the damaged road. Only Zuma and Liberty stayed behind, chilling together in the front yard, from where they could see Marshall's Pup-House. Ryder insisted Rocky should stay back and rest as well, but the gray pup was adamant on helping fixing the damage, feeling responsible for part of it.

When the sun was going down and the sky was just turning several shades of red, orange and pink for the sunset to come, the two pups heard a sound and looked up. Marshall had just come out from his house and was now drinking water from his bowl.

His body language made it clear he was still very upset, so both pups approached slowly and kept a respectful distance.

“Hey, buddy.” Liberty offered a sympathetic smile, when he looked up from his bowl to her. “How are you feeling?”

“Still frustrated, I think.” The Dalmatian shrugged.

“Sad and mad...?” Zuma in turn had a small grin, which Marshall didn't miss and it made him roll his eyes.

“Please, don't.”

“Smad, perhaps...?” The Labrador dared, getting a small chuckle from the Dalmatian in response.

“I hate it when you do that.”

“I know, and I love you too.”

“Well, no wonder you feel like that.” Liberty chuckled too at their friendly banter, while Zuma nodded in agreement. “This whole thing was a total mess.”

“Before you go about that again…” Marshall sat down, now looking at his own wavy reflection on the water in the bowl. “I'm not blaming myself anymore. But I just can't stop wondering… Why?” He looked up to the two pups, who now stepped closer and sat down as well. “Why did he do that? Why make something so dangerous? And then give it away like that? If it were anyone else instead of us, people could've gotten hurt or even worse!”

“Yeah, that's really messed up.” Zuma agreed again. “Things like that shouldn't even exist. But I don't think we'll get an answer about it, and even if we do, we probably won't like it anyway.”

“I wouldn't trust any excuse this guy would give about it.” Liberty shivered. “Who would know if he would be lying anyway?”

“I remember he said he was forgetting about something, but if he couldn't remember what it was, then it shouldn't be important.”

“You really believe that?” The Chocolate Lab raised an eyebrow. “How can someone carve a stone statue which can come to life, grow giant and mad, and just forget it happens, then make more statues?”

“Yeah, that's not something one can just forget about.” It was Liberty's turn to nod in agreement.

They fell silent for a moment, until Marshall looked up again. “Thanks for helping, by the way. You too, Liberty. I don't know who alerted you, but I'm glad they did. If you wouldn't be there to hold the giant back, I wouldn't be able to stand close enough to melt the road and get it stuck in place.”

“Not to mention the plan to defeat that thing was yours!” Zuma bumped her shoulder with his paw, grinning. “That was some serious fast and great thinking!”

“I only came up with the idea, you guys did most of the work and you should thank Rocky for doing the worst part.” She giggled back.

“It was good teamwork.” Zuma smiled, to which both Marshall and Liberty smiled back. “So, we good?”

“We good.” Marshall snorted. “Won't you go back home, Liberty? It's getting late and you live far…”

“Nah, I'll stay over for the night.” She waved a paw, dismissively. “I talked to Ryder about it already. We should take the chance and catch up on the news before sleep!”

“Sounds good to me!” Zuma wagged his tail. “Wanna check our toys room? We had to get a room for them because we got too many plushies and Marshall received a ton of gifts on his birthday.”

“Wow, really?” She looked over to Marshall, who smiled sheepishly.

“Yeah, some plushies are kinda… Huge too.”

“I got a stingray that's so big I can use it as a blanket!” Zuma beamed, now standing up and trotting over to the front door of the Lookout. “Come on, we'll show you!”

Marshall and Liberty chuckled and got up, following the young Labrador inside.

**********///// THE END /////**********

(( THANKS FOR READING!!!

Just a few things now.

First, thanks to @stretch-n-fetch for letting me "use" her muse in this. I figured it was fair, given the fact Liberty posted that she was on her way to help them before I started writing this story. And I know she uses the pink text for Skye but I also figured it could be used in this story, as Skye wouldn't show up in this anyway.

Second, I'd also like to thank @cottoncandyswirl828 for helping me out with a few bits in this story. English isn't my first language so there are things I'm still learning.

And last, please enjoy this because I don't intend to do anything like this again for a LONG TIME... XD It's "just writing" but it took me two days and two nights, and I literally had to stop blogging to not have more asks incoming and possibly changing what I had written already so far. For example, whoever called Liberty to help them, also called other blogs while I was already writing. If my pups inbox would be open, they would probably have sent asks offering to help and it would have me rewriting everything again and again as more characters would join the story. Just... Nope. Have mercy.

Also on a last note, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT'S GOOD IN THE WORLD, ASK ME BEFORE SENDING CROSSOVER ASKS and giving a continuity to the replies. Again, you were lucky I've watched Tales Of Arcadia and decided it was worth going with it. If you guys try to send anything from another fandom that I don't know about, there's nothing I can do at all!

That's it, hope you guys enjoy this short story, I died to type it all on my phone, now I need a break, bye 💀 ))

[prismatica-the-strange]

I'll Follow Your Voice | Younger Now Than We Were Before

With the end of everything just on the horizon, not everyone takes it well. (I know the song is technically romantic but I imagined this as a montage of the Umbrellas and what's left of the Sparrows spending their last hours before and after the Kugelblitz destroys everything)

Reblogs always appreciated!

Don't Let Me Go by The Fray | Dividers by @saradika-graphics

That's it. They aren't doing anything and the universe will come to a shuddering and unremarkable end.

Five makes his way back to the kitchen to get another big bowl of cereal and wander around until he figures out what the hell he saw last night.

He's about three spoonfuls in when he feels his chest get tight and his lungs burn. He's been around long enough to know the pain isn't his and he starts to worry.

He blinks to the next floor up, pretty sure that that's where his twin went after their vote.

It doesn't take long until he stumbles across her on the floor, her knees pulled to her chest.

"Margalo?" He sets his bowl on the floor and kneels next to her, "Are you okay? What happened?"

"I-I ran out of yarn!" She sobs.

His face contorts in confusion, glancing over at the, now, extremely long, multicolored scarf she'd worked on continuously since they'd arrived in this timeline next to her.

"I think it's big enough now. don't you?" He tries to joke, but it doesn't help, and he sighs, "What's really going on?"

"I... I-I don't-"

"Don't what?"

Her chest heaves as she shakes her head and grabs his arms, " I can't-"

"Can't?"

"C-can't breathe."

"This is a panic attack?" He asks, holding her wrists tighter, "Okay... You're gonna be okay. Just take a breath."

"I-I-I can't!"

"Yes, you can," He insists, "Hey, just look at me, focus on me, okay?"

She nods and he leads her in a few deep breaths until she's calmed down enough to talk.

"That's it, now what's going on?" He asks.

"I... " She chews her bottom lip as tears well up in her eyes again, "I don't wanna die."

"Oh."

That's all he can think to say, oh.

He knows no one is truly happy with what's happening or their plan to deal with it, but seeing her like this is different.

"I don't wanna die, and I ran out of yarn, so now I don't have anything to keep my mind off it and I just-," She buries her face in her hands as she sobs, "Five, I'm scared."

"Hey," He sits next to her and wraps his arm round her shoulders, pulling her into half hug, "I can't promise you it's gonna be okay, but I can promise that whatever happens we'll face it together, as a family."

She turns to cry against his shoulder, and he hugs her properly.

Then he says something he'd never admit to anyone else, not even their other siblings.

"I'm scared too."

With Luther dead, all signs pointing to the guardian, and the kugelblitz right on their asses, what's left of the the Umbrella and Sparrow academies quickly file into the reflective hallway behind the plinko machine.

Margalo is frozen in the shock of it all, but Five doesn't let her fall behind.

"Come on," He grabs her arm and part of the scarf she's wrapped around her neck more than a few times, dragging her with him.

They're only about ten feet in when she looks back and sees Reginald blocking their brother's way.

"Klaus!" She calls and Five tugs harder when she tries to go back.

"We have to keep moving!"

"But Klaus-"

"He's right behind us- Margalo wait!" He shouts when she pulls away and starts back.

Blue energy flickers around her and he reaches out to grab her again, fingers catching in the end of the scarf just as she blinks out of sight.

She's suddenly back in the suite, the walls being torn apart as Klaus gives up on the door.

She doesn't hesitate to grab him, stomach sinking when she can't blink them back.

"What did you do?" Klaus asks, grabbing her shoulders, "W-why would you come back for me?"

"I wasn't going to let you die!"

"So now we're both gonna die? Margs, this isn't the brightest plan!"

"I panicked!"

They stare at each other for half a second before breaking into tearful laughs. She cups his cheek with a scared smile, "Like I'd ever let you die alone."

A pained gasp is ripped from her lungs as the universe tears her apart.

Five watches in horror as the scarf falls into his hands.

"Margalo?" He looks up to the door, Reginald trying to push him further down the passage, but he fights him, screaming out his sister's name and reaching for the closed door, "Margalo!"

A few feet more and his body goes limp as he feels a sudden pain and then... then nothing. Their connection is gone and the emptiness he felt all those years in the apocalypse washes over him.

Everyone is confused when Klaus and Margalo don't come through the other side.

"Five?" He barely feels Victor's hand on his shoulder.

"She was right behind me," He squeezes the scarf and glares up at Reginald, and growls through clenched teeth, "What did you do?"

"Nothing! Your brother didn't make it through the door and it seems your sister went back to get him," The old man says, "I'm sorry, it seems they're gone."

As the rest of them explore the lobby of Hotel Oblivion, Five steps away.

Not again. This can't be happening again, not after everything he's done to save them.

Most of his family is there, still within reach, but he feels so alone.

He grips the scarf harder, breath shuddering and tears pricking his eyes.

His back slides down the wall, similarly to how he found her during her panic attack, he hides his face in his twins handiwork, all he has left of her, and he cries.

He cries like he hasn't in years.

He finally made it back to his family, and within a month he's lost them again.

His breathing goes ragged when he thinks back to the feeling of her slipping away and his chest tightens.

"It's not fair," He sniffles. His tear have already soaked a patch of orange and green yarn, "I just wanted my family back! I didn't want to be alone anymore!"

He doesn't feel like he'd been put through a freeze dryer anymore as he and the others step out of the elevator.

He turns around when someone gasps and he sees Luther, a normal looking Luther, step out followed closely by-

"Margalo," He breathes, and before he can stop himself, he's blinked in front of her, and thrown his arms around her in a tight hug. A hug she returns, just as tight and just as reluctant to let go.

It's not long until the others wrap themselves around them, Sloan and Ben included, all of the just glad to be alive

To still have each other, even after the end of everything

[bazzybelle]

Sandman Speculation Thoughts

Ok...

So, a bunch of us have been going back and forth on the Sadman Discord Server, trying to figure out if Season 2 will be the end of The Sandman.

With the confirmation that the character of Kris will appear in episode 6 (please check out THIS POST by @writing-for-life for more detail and info. They go into deeper depth on this and have some pretty good speculative posts as well), it looks as though the story will end with season 2.

I... have some complicated thoughts on all of this, and fuck it, it's tumblr so I'm gonna just share them.

With the corporate streaming culture of canceling a show after 2 seasons (or even LESS) because of capitalism, a lot of us saw this coming.

And yeah, ok, the show runners, writers, and cast and crew are doing everything to make sure the rest of the story is completed in that time. And this post isn't to jump on them. They are all in an impossible situation, doing the best they can considering EVERYTHING.

However, FOUR major storylines (one of them being The Kindly Ones - a DOUBLE length story) are being shoved into ONE 12-episode season.

That means we are getting 3 episodes each MAXIMUM for Season of Mists, Brief Lives, The Kindly Ones, and The Wake. In fact, it may even be less in some cases because we've also got Midsummer's Night, A Song of Orpheus, parts of A Game Of You AND possibly even Thermidor confirmed.

Oh, and from what we've see, we also have Death: The High Cost of Living.

Again, I am happy that we're actually getting the rest of the story on screen. But also, it looks like it's going to be SO RUSHED. There are so many stories being added into a short 12-episode season, I'm so worried about what the cost of that will be.

We're already missing out (as far as we know) on SO MANY rich stories from Fables and Reflections and World's End. What else has been cut?

(Not gonna lie... a part of me is terrified that Sunday Mourning ---my favourite story--- is one story we'll lose out on because of all this rushing).

I don't know. I might be overreacting. But I've also just come from The Umbrella Academy Season 4 (another AMAZING story ruined for the sake of The Suits demanding that it wrap up quickly).

I'm just... I'm so fucking tired of good stories being built up and canceled in favour of soulless, bland, background movies/shows. This isn't to shame if you like that kind of show. To each their own. But those of us who love stories like Dead Boy Detectives, Shadow and Bone, Kaos, and even Lockwood & Co. should be allowed to get the 4-5 seasons that shows like Emily in Paris gets.

Yeah, I know, I have to just wait for the season to premier and reserve my thoughts until then. But past experiences with Netflix's bullshit have made me more than a little wary.

Thanks if you've took the time to read my rant. I'm just exhausted, and I don't see myself keeping Netflix once The Sandman Season 2 is finished. Enough is enough.

[ummmlife]

mareridt ;

Warnings!; angst (but with a happy ending) , shibuya nanami

It was clear in your mind, words like those couldn't be forgotten easily and, most likely never be forgotten.

“Nanami Kento is dead”.

What a shame, isn't it? Your fiance, your soulmate was taken away from you in a matter of a second. How unfair.

Maybe he could stay as a salaryman, miserable but alive, exhausted but alive. But nothing matters now, he's dead and, by what you could understand of that call, it was a grotesque death.

True horror for a frightening night like this, October 31st.

The jujutsu sorcerers are talking about remains of a body, not a complete body worthy of burial. The universe is vile when it wants to, doesn't it?

Words weren't even a way to explain all what you were feeling. Grief? Sure, sadness? Also, but mostly despair. Your heart wasn't even beating anymore and your lungs felt like heavy sandbags ready to be thrown into the sea and sink to the depths, goddamn, you couldn't even stand up from the floor of your home.

A now broken home.

How could you even try to keep going with your life like this? How could you possibly try to lift your head against and face the world? Kento used to say that running away was always an option, one that you could regret in the future, sure, but still an option. But how could you run away from a cruel world that didn't even care about the massacre that was happening outside there in Shibuya?

The regretful thoughts didn't take too much to start appearing. It was your fault, it surely was.

You could have begged Kento harder not to respond to that emergency call and stop him from leaving. You could have locked the door and hid the key. You could start a temper tantrum just to make him stay with you. You could have done so many things but you did nothing.

Kento was dead because of you… right?

With the last strength you had left in your body, you crawled to the bed you both shared. A bed witness of moments of love and hate, a bed that was a safe space for both of you. His scent is still on the pillow and in the room in general.

It hurts horribly.

You roll over to grab his pillow and hug, pouring your love through your tears as the memories of Kento run free in your mind. Crying your heart out with sorrow by all the disgrace that life is giving to you.

Your stomach was churning while your head was spinning and it kept feeling like a nightmare. You were feeling like you were not connected to your body at all.

That's until you felt hands hugging you from behind and pulling your body.

— “Hey… You're having a nightmare again…”

That voice, that familiar voice.

— “Darling… Wake up.”

Just like magic you were brought back to reality by the raspy voice of Kento in your ear. He was holding you in his arms and planting kisses on your head as his hands caressed your arms in an attempt to calm you down.

— “You were having that nightmare again?”

It was an obvious question to ask, but yes. Once more, the same vivid nightmare plays in your dreams. It was a torture to this point.

— “I'm here, alright? I'm right here.”

Without hesitation, you hugged your boyfriend back, finding a comforting sense of protection in his arms. Kento is and has always been your safe place after all.

— “Don't worry, I promised you that I'm not leaving the house today. No matter what happens, we'll spend this Halloween all safe at home together.”

i DO NOT wanna see nanami dying. i swear i'm gonna throw up

anyway

i wanted to write this as a way to comfort my own self for what's about to come and, honestly? life in general has been feeling like a fever nightmare so...

i hope this can help you to cope the fact that this is the last time we're seeing nanami alive

[imaginespazzi]

Yeah no that definitely makes sense and agreed - I think at that stage in her life and career, she'd only have a child out of circumstance rather than on purpose.

P would be trying real hard not to let her favouritism show while she's coaching, but everyone knows anyway that she's extra soft for Stephie. Imagine a game where Stephie gets a little hurt and P's ready to fight another 6-yr old kid lmao.

I keep imagining how soft and cute P would be with a mini Azzi 🥹

Ooo yep, I definitely vibe with staying as close to irl UConn lore as possible, plus I'm never gonna say no to another cruise scene haha.

Oh imagine when P comes around to Storrs during Azzi's final year to visit the menaces or even just when she's facetiming any of them and that inevitable awkwardness of broaching the Azzi topic, or Azzi accidentally walking in while the others are on the phone with her.

I realise I've just kinda assumed that they break up after P's final year 😅 Would that mean that the public never knew about their relationship? At least, not officially?

If that's the case, do the media or public ever question their "friendship" and why they don't seem to be close anymore?? Like when P gets traded, and there's talk about the two "former best friends" being reunited?

Also, do they still kinda fall into each other at times after breaking up? Maybe especially that first year or so after the break up, like during Azzi's final college year and then slowly fade into no communication? Or do they immediately cut off all connection and only interact at public events and games? Or just barely interact at all?

Oh and I know I've been advocating for Tim to still always be checking in on P, even if it's just at games but I am super curious in general about the dynamics between Azzi and P's family and P and Azzi's family after they break up. Especially Azzi and Drew, cause you know I'm a sucker for a Drew cameo and Azzi + Drew interactions!

A Steph appearance! Just don't make Stephie into a Warriors fan 😫😂

Ooo a possible divorce situation with P??? Ugh I'm so curious about other relationships they had after breaking up! Although idk about P getting married to someone else (only cause I'm selfish and just can't see her marrying anyone other than Azzi lol) - what if she got engaged and came close but in the end, she just couldn't go through with it?? Or we can go with divorce, that's cool too, it has been 9 years after all haha.

I mean… I may or may not have a playlist where I drag songs into if they give me the exes to lovers fic vibe 😏. I need a title for it though!

Ngl, I actually was thinking "oh I wonder what Taylor song Nivi's gonna go with for this one?" 😆 Last Kiss seems like a pretty perfect choice. But now that just makes me think that we're about to go through even more pain than we did with the UCLA fic before we get a happy ending. We are gonna get a happy ending, right?

Speaking of Taylor songs - why do I feel like loml could potentially be one of the songs used for a chapter - "what we thought was for all time was momentary" or "you shit-talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles. I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all."

Oh btw Nivi, you totally don't have to address all or any of my questions!! I literally just chuck in whatever comes to mind but please feel free to tell me to just wait for the fic to find out the answers 😅

And pleaseee, your "NO NO NO NOPE NO" in response to that ask about you having kids had me dead 😭

ALSO, Tatum and Ella Mai expecting a baby?! Talk about private but not a secret, they did a fine ass job keeping the pregnancy quiet as long as they did though!

-🙋‍♀️

EVERYONE HAS ME SO CONFLICTED I have no idea what to do lmao maybe I'll just leave it open-ended and we don't have to go into how this child came to be lol

LMAO all the other parents whining about playing time and their child not getting a starting role meanwhile Azzi's out here giving Paige a talking to about how they're literally 5 year old's, this is not that serious and Stephie doesn't needa start every single game

I actually haven't decided the exact time for when they break up but it's definitely before Azzi gets to the W I think but I haven't really thought about the media reaction yet, other than that it's obviously a big deal when they end up on the same team again in the sense that it's a huge deal that two mvp's are teaming up

So....mayhaps a little spoiler but there might potentially be just a little bit of Drew and Azzi angst at some point because let's just remember she was in his life from very young and then she wasn't.

Well if I go with the Valkyries, it only make sense babes. Trust it's gonna be as hard to write for me as it is for you to read but Stephie is very likely gonna be a Warriors fans (that hurt to write oh lord)

LMAO give me a title?

Happy ending? Hmmmm what's that?

YES LOML WOULD HIT SO GOOD. Maybe I'll use that in chapter but I gotta add it to my playlist asap for sure.

I literally got that ask and was like, y'all I am literally in college, no I do not have a child thanks!

I SAW THAT. I'M SO EXICTED FOR THEM!! They really did such a good job and aww Deuce is gonna get a little sibling.

[pokidot]

MANDELA — twelve

wc: 1,473

“Get in. This is the last time I ever waste my time for some rando.”

Kuni was the first to exit the convenience store. He opened his vehicle door with a force strong enough that the rest of them were surprised it didn't fly off the handles.

You aided in his tyrant wake of destruction by pushing and nudging Hu Tao towards the door, leaving her to fervently panic. "Look, I can't say it out in public, alright?! This is a secret operation, and you're seriously going to blow my cover—”

"Cover? That's what you're worried about, a cover?" Kuni scoffed, "Your cover was to no avail once you got your tears and snot on my very expensive car."

"Did you have to add that it was very expensive?" You said, looking away with half-lidded eyes.

She strode mighty out of the convenience store, the welcoming beacon of neon lights clashing with the sunlight rising. "I can't believe you're the one triggered, I had to almost dig my eyes out with a spoon."

"Oh, we're complaining now? You can stay here, if you'd like. I'm sure you'll love scraping maggots off the floor in the back." But as the silence made emphasis, he grinned.

Hu Tao gasped, holding her manicured fingers towards her lips, her reddened eyes in slight fear. “Are you implying there’s dead bodies in there right now?”

“I’m implying that it’s an extremely unsanitary condition that only a rat would think to be around.” He replied. “Oh wait, I see some similarities now.”

"Okay, can we relax?"

Hu Tao gasped, backing up. "You used your hairspray-nuclear...practice missile thing on the wrong person, buddy. I feel like your dog is ten seconds away from turning me into a chew toy."

"You are really suspicious." You shrugged.

"I'm not!"

"Yeah, you are~ You little sussy-wussy, you." You said while poking at her cheek, swaying your shoulders humorously. “Just get in the car, he’s not gonna bite you. I am!”

You nudged the girl’s shoulder again, closer and closer towards the inside of the car, shutting the door behind her and looking towards Kuni again. Your eyebrows raised.

You knew he knew about suspicion, but in your eyes, suspicion was looking back at you too. “Stop scarin’ our livestock, Johnny. We ain’t gonna have none left.” You said to him in a country accent.

He shouldn't have been seething, but something about Hu Tao’s general disposition irked him. “She’s a creep. If you were alone I wouldn’t be surprised if she sold you to the Fatui.”

“I know, but we gotta lay low!” You threw your hands up. “We can’t just be outing our business to the entire wild west! You think word don’t spread around these parts?” You said while motioning towards the vast land of nothing besides the road and the tumbleweeds in the distance.

"Stop doing that voice. And don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.” Kuni’s eyes moved back towards the rest of the group. “We can’t afford to take chances when we have a pack of idiots with us.”

“Spoken as if I didn’t collaborate the pack of idiots.” You stuck your tongue out sarcastically. “If we’re really talking, I can’t afford anything.”

You drew closer to the rest of the group. “We’re going straight in. Ready?”

“You’re not listening to me.” Kuni’s voice drew out in a louder tone, his annoyance lingering on his tongue. "This is a really bad idea that will get worse, I'm warning you!"

“Damn, for some reason I hear a very annoying ringing! Hope it GETS BACK IN THE CAR SOON.” You responded, ending with a shout, that made Kuni's lip twitch in malcontent.

"...Wow." Kuni scoffed, ultimately listening and retreating back to the drivers seat.

Your head turned back to the group, grin slack on your face. “He’s so happy to be here.”

The group's faces held an air of expectation, but as they all exchanged glances, Heizou's gaze remained fixed. It was like a tapestry unraveled in his brain. "Question," He paused with uncertainty. "We're keeping a hostage with us because...?"

"Okay, chill out." You rolled your eyes. "She can't be a hostage if she attacked me first. Keep up."

"Keep up?!" Heizou's jaw fell slack. "Is your head on right? What if someone is looking for her? We led a paper trail to the rest of us. Then we have blood on our hands, we can't let anybody know we're going into Mori Grove!"

"It'll be fine! This is the best possible outcome." You grinned. "Plus, if I get what I want, we may have further investigation to look into."

"And you're happy?" Aether hesitated. "Like...with the risk?"

"Are you kidding? I'm so happy, I almost forgot I owe the government 500,000 mora." You chortled, the chuckle slowly fading as your face fell. "Almost."

"I thought you said that you weren't in debt?" Kazuha blinked.

There was a sudden tremor in your expression, begging Kazuha not to simmer the burn any further with your pleading eyes. The boy could only nod slowly. "Right...nevermind."

"Oh~ I love when cute people are financially vulnerable." Venti cooed.

"Oh my gosh, not here!" You dramatically replied, making a shooing motion with your hand.

"Well, this was a ridiculously unnecessary amount of time we wasted." Xiao's eyebrow cocked up in disdain. "You better have a good plan."

The car glided up the winding path heading to a cabin not too far from the village itself. It remained nestled in the ominous thicket of the forest, remaining eerie enough for the fog not to clear from the open acres of land. The road was beginning to close from the leeway, but thanks to Venti’s very convincing (and seductive) reasoning, the patrol let them through.

The headlights, like a piercing cat's eyes, provide fleeting glimpses of the ancient trees as it starts to stop along the pathway. There was something wrong with the atmosphere, and that itself was a reminder to Kuni that his stoic mood was necessary.

He turn the key out of the ignition, his eyes made a small glimpse at the sun that was no longer on the horizon before watching the second car with the others approach the other side of the pathway onto the grassy texture.

There was a noticeable sense of presence that was left, like an unseen spectator watching from the windows, their group unknowing that they were there. But before he was about to mention such, he was snapped out of his focus by Hu Tao's nervous chuckle.

There was an imminent silence amongst the three, before Hu Tao laughed nervously, eyes darting around the area. "Haha, well it's been a blast getting to know all of you within...two-ish? Hours, buuuuttt I really gottaaaa-"

"Shut up. You're not going anywhere." You cut her off, your hand reaching for the car door to open it and get out. "Kuni, watch her. I'll get the equipment."

Hearing a small sound of protest from the former, you grunted and shut the door, having felt your nerves on edge as soon as you got here. The home built out of wood stood tall, intimidating in its nature, being the lonesome home.

You wrapped the band of the camera around your neck, hooking on the gear and shoving the spare lens in your pocket, digging for spare handcuffs while the rest of the group approached you.

"Hold this. Can someone knock on the door? She said she would be here." You asked, putting a wad of paper towels and coins into Aether's hand.

"What are you- oh! okay!" Aether was met with anything he could have expected from you: a pair of handcuffs. "Where did you even get those?"

"Stole 'em."

Aether, looking extremely uncomfortable, gave a small cough. "Just a...heads up for next time would be good, okay?"

"Not kink stuff. This is for her." You motioned your head towards the girl who was coming out of the car, being stalked upon by Kuni, who didn't look too pleased either.

You quickly snapped the cuffs on each hand one at a time, to which Hu Tao's mouth dropped. "Handcuffs. Handcuffs? I think you're taking this way too far."

"Yeah? Should've thought about that when you lied to me."

"What, all because I can't tell you what I was doing?! I'm not trying to sabotage your investigation, I swear!" Hu Tao said in a slightly pleading tone.

"Pull your weight if you want out." You leaned closer to her with a hiss to your tone, causing her to draw back slowly. "You're going to wait until we're finished, and THEN I'll decide if I'm feeling generous enough to uncuff you."

You drew your finger back from her face, stepping back and heading towards the wooden door. Hu Tao was frozen in disbelief, along with Aether who slowly murmured towards her. "They didn't put me up to this, I swear."

Kuni, mildly proud of you as his eyebrows rose in delight, nudged Hu Tao and Aether towards the rest of the group. "Move it.”

prev | masterlist | next

NOTES || hey! if anybody saw the other one... no u didn't ! <3 PLEASE NO UYOU DIDN'T (but if you did then u know smth others dont oh well lol)

TAGLIST: @wisteriarain @akagism2 @murderisokayforme @aeongiies @d4y-dr3am3r @truck-kuns-gf @3lysiaa @ayoitsmarie33 @crucnhice @natsuscrustyscarf @dreamsofminnie @astreaa-express @goj0h @miraculin @xirthia @kylexzz @dollpoetwriting @dreamingkace @strawbxrrytiger @k1an4a @itzblazekun

[forgottenfinn]

hii so i’m crazy so here’s will wood songs as taz characters cause i have basically only listened to will wood for the past two months and i can make anything whatever i want forever

also. i am a taako guy at my core so i can relate anything to him so sorry it’s taako all the way down

its like. a lot of taako and lucretia.

ww is just so taako coded idk what you want

this is so nothing

________________

tomcat disposables:

the twins -

the whole food imagery and the hope for peace and stability

“One night one flung light through this place

So I run for cover, over, under, left the rind out on the plate

Little heart racing and praying, "Something, keep me safe"

I think it saw my face

Okay, one hungry day”

being about the light of creation / the hunger during the stolen century

“i’ll make it through again, i have before, come on now, what’s one more?”

which is lup dying and being used to it after so many years dying

“Just like I'd always imagined it

More than I could eat

My dreams were finally reality

My struggles had a happy ending

They must want to be friends

My stomach starts to turn

With thirst, why does it hurt?

My just dessert is served, dig in”

taako realizing that lucretia was behind it all, the place where he found a home was lying to him. also idk something glamour springs

also lup dying just as she was about to successfully secure her relic

“I held on so tight

For so long, it's just not right

Let a sigh out as I close my eyes

Was that all there was to this?

What's for the best?”

lup dying after they Finally got to stay in a world, also her skeleton being described as just resting against the wall like it was relaxed

________________

becoming the lastnames:

i can and will make becoming the last names about whoever the fuck i want, however,

taako (& kravitz) -

“I'm not sure yet myself, but I learned from a good father

Yeah, I mean, sure, they messed me up, but I think that's just the gig”

being about davenport

“And marriage always scared me, but I'd like to have a last love

And love can last a pretty good long while, yeah, I've seen it around”

duh, barry and lup OBVIOUSLY

something something taako seeing lup fall in love after everything they went through together and that’s great but him never seeing that for himself

“But what do I know 'bout forever when so far I've been so fleeting?”

everyone was just talking dust, etc etc

“Babe, my frontal lobe's done growing, this might just be how I'm wired

But now we're kissing before brushing, smile with our whole faces

If you want a hyphen last name, I guess I don't mind the cadence”

it’s just. hold my hand. trust.

“Cause I've made more mistakes than simple empty moments

Whoa-oh, each one as out of character as you know I tend to be”

you’re gonna look me in the eyes and say that is not a taako thing. come on.

“If we grow old together, will you talk to my headstone?

That is, assuming that I die first (which is fair) and assuming I don't leave”

kravitz already being dead and taako having a habit of running away

________________

cicada days:

taako and lucretia -

“She said, "It just feels inhumane to lose this much"

"'Cause when you leave you know you takе more than your love"

lucretia losing her family, also her making taako forget lup

“Let all my red flags fade to white, yeah, I give up

Don't let me leave, I'll only take more than I gave

Okay, I'll pack my stuff

Here at the end of days, my god, what have I done?

Christ, now it feels damn inhumane to get all I've dreamed of”

lucretia after the day of story and song, feeling like none of them care about her anymore because of what she did. but ultimately, the world was safe, her family was safe, even tho the way she wanted to go about it was wrong and would have killed them all, and her having to come to terms with what she did to everyone, taako and davenport especially

taako after glamour springs, seeing the people he thought he killed after achieving his dream of being famous. something something sazed letting taako believe it was his fault

________________

euthanasia:

lucretia -

i actually think about this a lot LMAO

“I was right there

While you fought tooth and nail

Gasping in the gas mask thrashing till you disappeared

Say you're not scared, that you know it's cause I cared and

Say you know I love you, and that hope was just not there”

magnus walking in while she’s feeding the story to the void fish, her saying she loves all of them, and she’s gonna fix everything

“Over the rainbow, can I stop by and say hello and

Sorry I would take it back if I could but I know

To love one from too far to call

Is not to love at all, to whom is it I talk?”

her visiting them in their respective areas, just to make sure they were okay

________________

that’s enough, let get you home:

barry bluejeans -

“Haunt my bedroom at night and say "Let's get you home"

liches <3

“They say "Grow up, be a man, 'cause until then

You're nothing but a short-haired girl"

sorry trans barry will always be real to me

“So come on, William, grow up, be a man

'Cause until then they're gonna treat you

Like you're just a little girl

But come and Braille-palm-read, hold my hands and you'll see that

It's me who cries mercy while your fingers curl

And, oh, are you at all like me?

Do you know what I mean?

Or am I too close to see?

Someone, anyone?”

DO YOU GET IT.

________________

um, it’s kind of a lot:

taako -

“But I never been afraid of no one breaking my heart

It's not like I'm 'bout to fall and cut my throat on the shards”

taako not really. seeing falling in love as an option for him

“Hold me like a tourniquet, and I'll you, like an iron maiden

I've grown used to fear

But no, not to you yet, my dear”

something about kravitz being so just. sweet and endearing and that just scaring the shit out of taako. kravitz will hold him gently and help him, he’ll hold kravtiz like he will leave him

taako is always very much the quote of, everything i let go of has claw marks on it

“Oh, I love you so much it scares me half to death

I'm not used to this

How did it happen, baby?”

my taakitz :(

“And I'm afraid you'll notice all my flaws

I'm afraid you already have, obviously

And I'm afraid I'll come on too strong

Hold you too tight and scare you too”

post wonderland.

“I'll twist my words: a clever turn of phrase

Sorry, darling, please excuse my

Constant need to self-aggrandize

Coddling my narcissism

M.A.D. come ride my A-bomb

While I beg you to say I'm okay

So here's one last lyric to sum up these

Thoughts I struggled to come up with

To make me sound deep and smart and

Then I promise I'll shut up

Wait, let me think

Hold on, I got this

Anything but "I'm in love with you"

ARE WE KIDDING.

________________

half decade hangover:

taako and lucretia -

“Wonder how I didn't die

This is not my life. I'm no survivor, I only happened to survive”

taako post glamour springs after he got some reason didn’t test the food first

lucretia being alone after she erases their memories, technically alive but. why

“Cause I was drunk when I made my bed

Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it

What have I done? Don't know what I've said

It's a half-decade hangover, either this, in jail, or dead

It's a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ my aching head”

taako having to deal with the aftermath of glamour springs. specifically “either this (adventuring with thb), in jail (cause of glamour springs), or dead (yeah.)”

also him with angus after being a dick to him or any other person he lashed out at

lucretia having to deal with what she had done, watching her family be a shell of themselves and then once they’re back, dealing with the backlash from it

“Sober, but so much still hangs over

Please believe me when I say I poured my whole past down the drain

Say that a second chance is a chance I can take

But I can't make amends for things I don't remember

I can only say I'm sorry and occasionally pray

Guess you'll just have to take my word that I've changed

After one thousand eight hundred twenty five days”

then not being able to remember half of the shit that they did, lucretia not being able to ask for forgiveness till so so much later. also she can’t fix what she did

________________

vampire reference in a minor key:

kravitz -

i mean, duh. the whole vibe of the song is so kravitz

“If you need me, I'll be in my coffin

You could come knocking, and I'll raise hell for you”

this man arguing with his literal GODDESS cause the guy he likes has a fucking weird family

“Hold my hands, we'll dance the 12-step on my grave

I'd kill the man I am for one more chance to be yours, babe

No, I ain't begging, I'm just saying, it's an option

Don't let the latest be the last nail in my coffin”

TRUSTTTT

________________

the main character:

taako -

i mean. come on. you saw that coming

“So, God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being

I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene

I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy

Don't come at me

I'm the main character, and you have to like me”

i think justin listened to this song and went. yk what. i can work with that. (ik taz came out before incase i make it, hush)

“you’re about to kill americas favorite wizard.”

“I loot plot armor from NPCs

Well, they are to me

Trite, tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats, it's all XP”

taako stealing from Literally everyone all of the time

________________

against the kitchen floor:

taako -

it’s literally called against the Kitchen floor. what do you want from me.

“I don't owe you my heart

And I don't owe you my body

But you should know that I'm sorry

For being careless with you”

listen. me and mars love to play little barbie’s with these characters but like. do you understand. do you see the vision. taako being someone who has a lot of casual sex and is like no yeah i’m so cool and normal about this and he’s Not cause he’s a Liar but like.

the wanted to be wanted thing even if it’s not. good.

something soemthing sazed etc etc

“I swear, I'm really trying

Get it together, Will, know and do better

It just don't come natural to me to think that you'd want me for mе

I swear, I'm really trying

Oh, I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best

I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet”

him having to learn what a normal and healthy relationship looks like with kravitz and being kind of off put when kravitz actually likes him for real

“I've lived more lives than enough, I haven't died quite as much

But I'm not a real person, just the shit you can't make up, and”

stolen century, duh

“I swear, I'm really trying

I'm just as exposed if I take off my clothes

When we make the closest thing to love that I'm capable of

And I don't know why you would care

But I'm really trying”

something about his glamour thing after wonderland

“I'm catatonic in your arms

Crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"

I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor

Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

Don't say "I'm sorry, but this can't go on"

I know you've got scars of your own

But hide my knives before you go

I'll either live or die alone”

him with sazed after glamour springs

“ promise, I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible

I swear, I'm so fucking sorry

I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all

But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all”

“taakos not a hero.” yeah.

________________

sex, drugs, rock’n’roll:

taako -

“So this is what I choose to do

With my redeeming quality

That thing that came from the same place as my

Instability”

i know it means mental instability, and like yeah that too, but his home/money instability. learning how to be a wizard and how to cook so that he would have somewhere to stay

“It's not a gift if you pay for it

And I don't want no charity

I spent all my years to end up right here, and now

I really think I'd rather leave”

post glamour springs

“And I hate proving that

I'm still human after all”

“i’m a fully realized creation! fuck!” etc etc

________________

white noise:

lucretia -

“But If you listen closely I swear, to God I swear

You can hear the ocean if you hold it up to your ear, here:

White noise

If you listen close between the waves

White noise

You can hear the ocean through your wake

White noise

If you listen close between the waves

White noise

You can hear the ocean through your wake”

just this whole songs meaning is very lucretia to me. the quiet isn’t boring. there’s more to lucretia than even she sees if you care to notice

[agentravensong]

hello, fellow hatchetfield fans! here are my stray nerdy prudes must die thoughts, which i'm going to try to keep brief (she said, before spending an hour writing this)

the production level of the show as a whole really blew me away. the lighting; demon!max's costume and makeup; even the way it was shot and edited felt even more electric than past shows

this is the only one of the full-length hatchetfield musicals to have one consistent antagonist throughout (black friday has linda but half the leads don't know about her at all until the climax, plus there's wilbur and wiggly). and i gotta say, max's actor really killed it. hilarious, terrifying, and even with moments of nuance. he repeatedly stole the show.

some of the songs are already stuck in my head. off the top of my head i can't think of any that stood out in a bad/unmemorable way (though i could just be forgetting them, lol). ruth's song in particular i think is gonna really stick with me once i listen to it a few more times.

and i love the way the "i'm not a loser" motif gets used throughout the show. the closest any of the songs got me to having the visceral reaction i have to "did you know that i wanted to live with you" in "not your seed" and the bridge + ending of "let it out" ("i've never been happy...") was when richie sings that line right before... well.

speaking of richie: as a paul stan, what this show proved to me more than anything is that when jon matteson plays a sympathetic lead (or side character - hi daniel/stopwatch), he will always break my heart. he's just. really good.

thinking about how in the last of the originally planned 3 hatchetfield shows, initially conceptualized as the first, jon's character is the first one to sing, whereas in the first of those shows, conceptualized as the last, the whole crux of the musical is him refusing to sing, the audience essentially waiting for the moment he breaks and does it. thinking about how the opening of npmd tells us richie is going to die, already dying, already dead, while the opening number of tgwdlm tells us paul is the target, the Doomed Hero, the "star of the show" "destined to go viral" [read: get infected], whose story is going to be told, already written.

thinking about how singing dooms paul, and how richie singing "i'm not a loser", reigniting max's ire, is the final nail in his coffin.

...i'm normal.

there's a lot of meta jokes and nods of that sort throughout the show. maybe a few too many? like, at a certain point, as a fan, i do feel like i'm being pandered to a bit.

i liked the lords in black's scene, it was a lot of fun! it's always great to see jon get to let loose with crazy characters, and the others were great too. but i do wonder how it plays for people who haven't been following nightmare time stuff. like, i get that in one world this was our introduction to these characters, but even in that world, i wonder if including all five of them with their specific names and allusions to their individual deals is a bit too much for what the plot of this show needs. there's something to be said for not showing all your cards right away.

on the other hand, i feel like the paulkins coffee scene actually fully earned its inclusion: because when pete comes in asking for his hot chocolate, it reads differently when we're coming at it from having followed his perspective up to this point versus having been following paul in tgwdlm, in a way that strengthens both scenes. it's a nice reminder that emma and paul can be... rude, i guess. assholes, even (she really didn't need to spit in it). that idea of perspectives affecting how we categorize people arguably even plays into the themes of this show! how about that.

ah, yes, Themes. there are Themes to be drawn out of this show about the experience of high school, especially in an intertextual comparison to how tom and becky talk about their time in high school in black friday. something about how the two of them see it as this idealistic time they want to go back to, whereas the teens (the nerds/outcasts) in npmd sing that they'll "still despise it when [they're] gone". something about how in ruth's solo number, the fantasy future she imagines for herself (even in the context of it being a performance for an audience of no one) is of a standard, arguably dreary, middle-aged existence. there's definitely stuff there to be dissected.

and also there's arguably a theme of continuing cycles of cruelty, brought into focus by the ending, but also implied with the way the adults failed the kids (see max referencing his dad belittling him).

...but also, i feel like they could have done more with that.

that's my one big thing with this show, and it could very easily just be that the genre of this show isn't as much my jam, but i'll say it anyway: i wanted more from the characters, and more emotional weight in regards to certain things.

like, between this and tgwdlm, i think tgwdlm is still the better written show. there's just, a subtly to the characters there, a grounded human-ness, that i didn't quite get from all of the teens here.

as much as i clearly have a soft spot for richie, that's mostly on jon; as written, there really isn't much there, beyond "anime nerd" and "generally nice kid who wants to be liked". the scene right before he dies is comedic in how obvious it's setting things up, but its obvious-ness also makes it feel kind of cheap in terms of pulling on the heartstrings. similarly, ruth is initially just a gimmick (though hers at least ties into a deeper insecurity) and only gets her real moment of depth right before she dies. neither of them feel like they have much affect / haunting presence on the surviving teens once they're dead, past the initial shock of the reveals of their deaths.

and steph and pete are good, but... idk. i wanted a bit more from each of them. if they got to have a talk like paul and emma before "join us and die" - not even for the sake of the romance, but just for the sake of giving us more on each of them outside of their basic stereotypes and the romance - that would've helped, i think.

grace was great, though, no qualms. initially there was a part of me that was disappointed that the stereotype max was pushing on her about her being secretly repressed and horny was in fact true, but the way it gets used makes up for it, and in between max's death and when that specific thing comes up again in the climax, she gets to do a lot with the two conflicting sides of her personality, wanting to be good but having a capacity and arguable instinct for scheming and ruthlessness.

(also, as i mentioned earlier, max has a surprising amount going on, especially once you get into the Implications)

it could just be that i see those depths in the tgwdlm cast because i've had more time to chew on that cast, and that in time i'll see these teens in the same light. but i don't think it's just that.

i think part of it is how there are so many jokes about the teens being nerdy prudes (really, mostly just nerds). and like, that's part of the point, obviously, that they were being forced into those boxes and that they were still people with the potential to be more. but... i don't know if the show does enough to really make that point. again, richie doesn't really get to be more (and it's not for lack of time - there's a good amount of show before max comes back as the demon and kills for the first time).

in tgwdlm, the mains are all arguably based on stock characters, but they have more depth through their relationships. look at ted, the stock asshole sleazeball, who's shown to feel genuine remorse when he loses people he loves, in a way that contextualizes his bitterness. and there's a lot less highlighting of the stockness of them in their show than there is of the teens in npmd.

and the thing is, i think the cast of npmd at their foundations are more likable than the cast of tgwdlm (see the earlier point about emma and paul being assholes at times). they had a lot of potential. but i don't think enough of it is realized for the majority of them. the edges the tgwdlm cast has are part of what makes them compelling, and it's something the teens (minus grace) are largely missing.

the thing is, i know the fandom is going to see that potential and run with it. i know that they're gonna develop the teens' characterizations and relationships. i know they'll get into the trauma and the implications from everything that happened to them in the show. i know they'll get into... pete's survivor's guilt, and steph losing her dad(!!!), and what richie and ruth could have been, and all that. i know that they'll fill in the gaps. because that's what fans do. i guess i just wish there weren't so many gaps to fill. or, that the gaps wouldn't take so much effort from them to fill.

again, i acknowledge, maybe i'm expecting too much from the genre of show this is. it doesn't need to have A Point, i guess, it can just be fun, a comedic horror slasher in musical form. and it is fun, a lot of fun! ...but, tgwdlm was also a lot of fun. not as bombastic, for sure, but i'd say just as humorous. and it was also incredibly tightly written, and satisfying, with strong character arcs for multiple leads. it had commentary on musicals, on what makes a protagonist and what it means to be one, on conformity and institutions of authority, on romance even (you could do a very interesting aromantic reading of this show, trust me). and with a show that's titled nerdy prudes must die, that is About high school, there's, similarly, a lot you can do. and there's a fair amount of seeds planted there. but i don't think it all quite coheres. and it could've, if they really wanted it to.

...i did not keep that brief. ah well. i might disagree with half of this by the time i wake up tomorrow, i just needed to get it out of me. tl;dr, in my opinion, this show is stronger than black friday, but tgwdlm is still my favorite. all the cast and crew put a lot of love into this production and it really shows. i had a great time! :D but i'm always going to overanalyze things i care about as much as i care about the hatchetfield universe, and hence, here we are.

[tae-rambles]

OP ch 1124 SPOILERS

my reaction as i read:

first, disclaimer, i was spoiled that Kizaru cries this chapter and it's apparently very sad. honestly, unless it's revealed that Vegapunk told him he had a plan to die sometime during those two weeks before the incident, i don't think i'll feel much sympathy for Kizaru, but we'll see... i also wonder if that's what the title is referring to - the relationship between Kizaru and Vegapunk

the cover story is taking an interesting turn... will Yamato pursue the criminal? will he befriend the woman? maybe Yamato will gain a harem of female lovers like Oden? that would be fun

Morgans' reaction is v unsurprising; Vivi is a badass like always and the two sapphics in the background are still cute :D but sorry girls, Vivi's already taken (NamiVivi for life)

i mean... Wapol is kinda right but shut up

Vivi i love youuuu!!!!!! anyone who hates you is a red flag honestly

of course Morgans would pin it on Luffy - no surprises there

yay! Sentomaru got away! :D it seems like Kizaru let him? where will he go, i wonder... the closest safe place that we know of is Elbaf or one of the next islands the log pose points to? the net cover story will focus on him?

also impressive he didn't pass out from the haki blast! maybe it somehow knew Sentomaru was an ally? can a haki blast do that? i mean... it's a manifestation of it's user's will... but whose will? it was Joyboy's haki but Emet was the one to unleash it so which one of them decided whom to spare? however, Joyboy's dead so it must have been Emet who controlled it but is it possible to control another person's haki aka will? one can use observation haki to sense intent and emotion. could Joyboy implement that into the haki bomb to make sure it doesn't hurt friendly forces? i have so many thoughts...

hehe Akainu will not be happy

yep, the title refers to Kizaru and Vegapunk...

Vegapunk went straight to the point, huh? lol

wow, he shut Akainu up lol

but honestly, Kizaru did this to himself. he's strong enough to rebel but it's more comfortable to stay a cog in the machine... he chose comfort over his "best friend" - you can actually compare him to Vivi this chapter - it would be safer for her to stay silent yet she raises her voice against injustice while Kizaru is here crying and pitying himself while being physically completely safe. i understand it's hard for him and that if it wasn't Kizaru, it would be somebody else. but maybe if he had rebelled and used his strength to protect Vegapunk, there would be no "somebody else"... so what i'm saying is: he definitely did not "have to kill his best friend"

Luffy must be taking this hard... especially since he befriended Atlas... i feel so sad for him

Franky's right... but Zoro, c'mon... i know you're trying to play up the tough guy act to stay alert to keep everybody safe and expect the same from your captain but give him a breather

Lilith... :(

that's a good question, from whom did she hear about it? is maybe Edison still alive? maybe he just disconnected from the Punk Records to make it look like he's dead? i mean... i wouldn't be surprised, this is One Piece after all...

HUH??? ok, i have my theory about how the Vegapunks can still be technically alive - Punk Records is still functioning after all and the question of what it means for Vegapunk to die did come up a couple of times so it's not too out of left field but i'm gonna keep reading for now...

ah... so we're not getting the full explanation now... dammit

but now we can have the mandatory banquet at the end of the arc :D (i have a post that's a response to an ask in the works - that's already taking way too long sorry - that's gonna touch on this more so i'm not gonna dwell on it now)

and Robin's also feeling better :D

kampai! :D

"the fabled country of Elbaf" haha i see what you did there

and another mysterious silhouette to close the chapter...

it was a good chapter :D nothing groundbreaking but that's what's needed after all that craziness lol though i was hoping to see what's up w Stussy but oh well...

Egghead was the first arc a read weekly and it was a wonderful experience so i'm hyped to see what Elbaf will bring :D i already posted my thoughts and predictions here

[maddiesbookshelves]

📚🗓 Mid-Year Freakout Tag 2024 🗓📚

Thank you @cleopatras-library for the tag ☺️

How many books have you read so far?

10 novels, 2 graphic novels and uh, like 10 or more manga? I don't track all of them

What genres have you read?

Fantasy, historical, romance and mystery. Sometimes several of those in the same book

Best book you’ve read so far in 2024?

Probably The Briar Book Of The Dead, by A. G. Slatter if we're talking about novels only. But the graphic novel Rivages Lointains by Anaïs Flogny is just so good, I'm obsessed with it. If you can, please read it, it's French but it's been translated into English and Italian

Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2023?

The only ones I've read were either manga or the full Dr. Greta Helsing trilogy by Vivian Shaw, which I've read back to back. So either that (book 3, Grave Importance), or the manga Requiem Of The Rose King, by Aya Kanno, that I reread and finally finished after YEARS (yes the ending ended ME)

New release you haven’t read yet, but want to

There are way too many, and I keep seeing more at work, I'm gonna die of frustration. Evocation by S. T. Gibson is eyeing me very strongly because of the internet. As is The Spare Man by Mary Robinette Kowal, from where it's sitting on my coworker's display (it only came out in February in France)

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

I don't know honestly. The one book I was really waiting for this year was A Crane Among Wolves because I loved June Hur's previous books, and since I've read it now (it's very good btw), I'm not waiting for anything else

Update I learned something as I was writing this post: HEAVENLY TIRANT MIGHT STILL BE COMING OUT THIS YEAR???? DECEMBER 24????? MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO US???? HELLO?????? After Xiran told us the release date had been pushed back I thought for sure it would come out next year but apparently not so YEAH THAT'S MY MOST ANTICIPATED RELEASE OF THE YEAR, PERIOD

Biggest disappointment

It's a toss between How To Kill Your Family by Bella Mackie, and A Far Wilder Magic by Allison Saft, for reasons that are very different. If it wasn't for that ending, How To Kill Your Family wouldn't even be there but unfortunately. And A Far Wilder Magic just wasn't for me. I didn't expect it to be YA romantasy so I was sorely disappointed

Biggest surprise

Probably A Sign Of Affection by Suu Morishita? Don't get me wrong, I love shoujo (I know, I don't like romance novels but I love shoujo, it makes no sense, don't look at me) and I thought I would like it but I didn't expect to like it this much

Book that made you cry

I cry so often when I read/watch/listen to things that it all gets mixed up in my memories. I think I cried for Rivages Lointains, I definitely cried for Requiem Of The Rose King HAHA. I might have cried for Run Away With Me, Girl by Battan, I'm not sure. All of those are manga by the way, I don't remember if I cried reading a novel this year

Book that made you happy

The Bandit Queens made me happy because the ending was great (unlike How To Kill Your Family) which healed me a little

Most beautiful book cover of a book you’ve read so far this year

Aaaaaaa I don't know. The cover (and sprayed edges) for the French edition of A Far Wilder Magic are a big part of why I even bought it in the first place, but also A Crane Among Wolves...... And of course Aya Kanno's art is just so beautiful, all the covers for the Requiem Of The Rose King series are 👌

How are you doing with your year’s goal?

I had set a goal of 40 on goodreads/storygraph but I might have underestimated how work would impact my reading habits. But also, I'm not dead set on reaching that goal, I just want to read

What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

I'd love to read more of the books I already own because it's becoming a problem. Other than that, there's no urgent need

That was fun so if anyone wants to join in, please feel free!