#i'm gonna have to workshop it

[lunarfly-studios]

tfw you realize that your timeline would realistically take a very drastic shift from your initial plans

because there's just no reasonable way humans wouldn't have found out aliens existed in our solar system if they were completely inhabited by whole-ass civilizations

Especially if those civilizations most likely wouldn't make a concerted effort to hide themselves from humans (for their own various reasons)

So there's no reason to believe humans wouldn't have discovered alien civilizations in the 60's-80's under these conditions

so now you have to completely reconsider the current status quo

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[valhallavalgrace]

Leo, what has been your favorite “to-the-death” activity thus far? I feel there has to be a workshop-to-the-death somewhere in that hotel.

LEO: I think maybe Magnus was right about talking about the past… I’m not sure I’m ready to do that yet, but thinking about it and doing things that remind me of my old life, it feels like progress. prev ask (also about activities!)

[candyriku]

I unfortunately find myself unable to work on my current Soriku fic today due to my mental state, but I was able to make a bit of a teaser for the next big Soriku fanfiction that will be coming sometime after JTSYS is finished.

You can read it under the cut, but TW for blood, death, and uh, general misery. This has been cathartic for me to write but the whole idea of this fic is that things are impossibly doomed, so be warned - this is not the happy fun zone.

Blood. There was so much blood.

He had smelled it before even seeing it, the metallic scent thick in his nose before he had even rounded the corner. He had tried to convince himself that it was his own bleeding wound that he smelled, or maybe the blood of something else, someone else, but in his heart, he knew the truth. He picked up his pace, sprinting at top speed now, his sneakers splashing through shallow puddles on the wet pavement. 

When his eyes finally came to rest on the crumpled form at the end of the alley, the breath was knocked out of his chest as though someone had taken a baseball bat to his sternum. He knew, of course he knew, but he had hoped-

No. It didn’t matter what he hoped for. Hopes and wishes weren’t for people that walked his path. He had been denied the right to hope for anything ages ago. When he had signed that contract, signed away his soul, he forfeited all the cushy pleasures of a normal life. He had given up his chance of knowing peace.

But it had been worth it. If it was for Sora, anything was worth it.

Standing over Sora’s blood-soaked body, Riku tried to remind himself of that truth, the one thing that he had tethered his heart to all this time. It was worth it. Even if the chance of Sora making it out alive were next to none, there was still a chance. He could still fight.

One of these loops, Riku would get it right. He would figure out how to keep Sora safe, how to protect him from this accursed dimension where everything was designed to end his life. They would break out and live a normal life together, just the way they had always planned. 

There was a happy future waiting somewhere for the two of them. There had to be. Riku had gambled everything on it.

He crouched down, his shaking fingers gently brushing Sora’s tear-stained cheek. He could hardly stand to look at his face, but the sight of his broken, bleeding body was no better. The wounds were precise and lethal, and Riku was far too late.

No matter how many dozens of times he had watched Sora die, it never got easier. It never stopped feeling like his chest was a black hole caving in on itself, his heart squeezed until it was nothing more than dust. 

He couldn’t look. He couldn't look away.

Riku kneeled and placed both of Sora’s hands over his heart. He was about to speak and begin the incantation that would throw them both back to the starting point again, but Sora suddenly stirred, weakly reaching one hand up towards Riku’s face.

“Riku…” his voice was barely more than a whisper. 

“I’m here,” Riku said, the words catching in his throat. “Don’t speak. You can rest now. It’s okay.”

He hated to say it. He wanted to plead with Sora, wanted to beg him to stay. But if Riku had learned anything throughout the loops, it was that nothing came of begging. There was no one to answer his prayers; benevolent forces did not dwell here. At best, all it would accomplish would be making Sora sad in his final moments. At worst, future loops would be impacted by Riku’s words to Sora, twisting the knife further. He had seen it enough to know what to avoid now.

“I don’t want…” There was a weighted pause. “...Don’t want to leave you.” The pool of blood continued to grow. Riku knew - though he wished that he didn’t - that Sora wouldn’t be able to maintain consciousness for much longer at this rate. He could hardly believe Sora was awake even now. 

“We’ll meet again.” he assured Sora softly, trying to keep his voice steady. “Don’t worry. It'll be okay.” 

“You…” This pause was longer, much longer, and Riku was all but sure that Sora would not speak again. Finally, with a wet cough, Sora continued. “You promise?”

“I promise.” Riku lied. He leaned forward and kissed Sora’s forehead, his lips lingering there for several long moments as he took steadying breaths. 

“Mm… ‘kay.” Sora managed. “Love you… so much.” 

“I love you too.” Riku said, clenching his teeth so hard his jaw popped. He wanted to scream. After taking a moment to compose himself, he sat up and offered his best imitation of a smile to Sora. Better for him to see that than to see how broken Riku really was. 

The all-too-familiar faraway look settled on Sora’s face as the last of his breath left his body. Riku collapsed over him, the tears finally coming, the weight hitting him all at once with the force of a tidal wave. Even knowing that he would see Sora alive and well again in mere moments did nothing to comfort him. 

It didn't matter how many times Riku had seen it. It never got any easier to watch Sora die.

[stanfordsweater]

— yves olade, slaughterhouse

[skrunksthatwunk]

why the fuck did i write about birds this fucking sucks. i just found out birds only sleep for a few minutes at a time, hundreds of times a day. do you know what this is going to do to my structure? the logistics of their road trip? this is already like three days late and i've been fighting for my life to get A Plot Like Any Plot That Makes Sense out and now the birds fucking sleep for 5 minutes at a time.

[l0stw00d]

*thru gritted teeth* be Gentle, be Patient, be Kind, u cannot hate yourself into being a less disabled version of yourself no matter how frustrating or scary or upsetting this gets

[frereamour]

speaking of doctors, the best doctor in the world is my neurologist who i would trust with my life. because when i woke up from a seizure in the hospital hers was the first face i saw, she clutched my hand and said 'you're alright and are going to keep being alright'. and she wasn't lying. she asked me what kind of side-effects i wanted to avoid when prescribing my epilepsy medication, told me that if for some reason i forgot to travel with it i could email her at any time and she'd mail me a prescription on the spot (it has happened and she followed through as promised). on our first consultation after all my exams she gave me a run through of which hard street drugs would react badly to my medication and told me to call her if i wanted to do any drugs but wasn't sure if they would react and we'd figure it out together. i see her once a year for a check up and she always asks me if i mind if she smokes in the office, asks me how my wife has been and if i'm still at my fuckass job. i have a huge crush on her.

the thing about having a good doctor is that it raises your standards and you start demanding the same respect from all others.

[milfbro]

11pm back to work cause there were people over in my house so we literally just left asdfghjkl we just left

[cheekblush]

yesterday was such a lovely day 🩷 i went on a hike with alpacas, took a hot relaxing bath, did my skincare, had spicy ramen with dumplings for dinner and then fell asleep all snuggly, toasty and warm in my bed 🥰

[vulpinesaint]

did the outline for it and this unit assessment is going to be fine actually. i know i always hate the very thought of an assignment until i spend five minutes on an outline but in my defense i have been uncharacteristically fucked up and unwell all week and this has been severely distressing 😭

[magentagalaxies]

ok so i just had another zoom with paul bellini and he asked about how things are going with aubrey (the sketch character i've been working on) and first off even the fact that he specifically asked about aubrey and i didn't even have to bring zir up is awesome. but anyway i told him about performing the new monologue in class and all the feedback i got and how the main response was just so many people letting me know this character has potential!! like even if there are still things i need to work at people want to know this character and zir world.

and then paul bellini just went "you've found your own version of buddy cole!"

like not in a pandering/patronizing way bc yeah that's kind of what i was going for, but in a way that was like. the essence of what this character is for you is the same as how buddy cole works for scott, and as someone who was around for almost every buddy cole work and co-wrote several of the most iconic ones, i know it when i see it.

and i haven't been able to stop smiling since. he was so proud of me.

[enniewritesathing]

collared

[catgirlhell]

update stuff

because friday is my art posting day i've literally been in a conundrum about stuff... like not every commission that comes my way is some big bitch!!! and i kinda built a brand for awhile on posting my big beautiful catgirl on fridays. im slowly working through like. doing this stuff As A Job™ (which is insanely difficult believe me) while still being aware that im on a time limit because i'll be back at school in the fall...

but im almost through my queue! i'll be starting my last wips tomorrow and then probably reopening slots early on in the week! once im through this current queue honestly i'm probably gonna. not do stuff for a week or so as i take care of other stuff (i have a completely different job in ttrpg work, believe it or not).

the next batch of commission slots will be a bit pricier than the last and there'll be fewer, but its moreso because at my current rate its just not tenable! after i open slots again towards the end of this month, i'll probably open them one last time towards the latter half of august and that'll be it for the summer. i might take one or two here and there throughout the proceeding school year, but in all actuality im probably staring down the barrel of the most stressful one i've ever had.

ty to everyone who likes to come and look at my silly little drawings!!! getting to a stage in my life where it actually seems possible to subsist off of my commissions is really heartening, and i owe it to people who reblog and retweet and buy my services ;w;

happy fat girl friday night gay people!!!! im gonna keep drawing big bitches!!!!!!!!

[bumpscosity]

i just remembered i can do whatever i want forever so now one of my ocs ive had for years is a transgirl

[talentforlying]

clocking in at midnight to say, do y'all ever think about how......there is some dark star at the heart of constantine that really, truly enjoys taking a fucking piece out of someone that wrongs him. that genuinely craves having power over people who are used to having that power themselves.

like, there's a reason that his principal driving forces are empathy and guilt: he cares a lot about people being wronged, and he gets absolutely fucking furious at the people who wrong them. what's more, he's clever enough to lash out in ways that ensure maximum damage without necessarily involving him directly. (instructing chas to pay people to break the legs of a guy that hurt one of his exes, involving ellie in a scheme to drop the archangel gabriel from grace) now, he always feels awful afterwards about taking such drastic steps, and the people he goes after are genuinely reprehensible fucks who deserved far worse, but the shit that he sets people up for in a fit of anger gets intense, man.

tbh i think he attributes that part of himself to his father. and it's part of why he struggles to look at himself in mirrors some days. i don't think he'll ever feel like he's left his father behind him, or broken the cycle, or outgrown the nasty bits of himself that made mistakes like newcastle, because he's never fully learned how to get that rage to go away before acting on it impulsively.