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storiesbyjes2g · 4 months ago

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3.141 Gold nuggets

I called Dad as soon as I got up, hoping to catch him before eating breakfast to invite him to eat with me. He sounded surprised at the early invitation but accepted, naturally. We went to the steakhouse in Oasis Springs because they had a killer brunch menu. Once seated, Dad asked about Sophia, and I told him she was back at full capacity, which was why I was comfortable leaving her for a few hours. That wasn't what he meant, though. He said I needed to keep an eye on her because many women fell into a depression after giving birth. No one really knew why it happened, but apparently it was very common. He thought Sophia seemed withdrawn at my birthday party and didn't interact with the baby much. Though I knew he only expressed concern out of his love for her, I felt my defenses and anger rising because it felt like he accused me of not taking care of my wife when that was all I had done since she was pregnant. I told him I took it upon myself to care for Desiree while Sophia recovered, and that's why she didn't have the baby much. And as far as being withdrawn, she was just very introverted and often preferred to observe. He understood, being an introvert himself, but just wanted to bring it up so I was aware, especially because she's really good at hiding what's going on inside.

I refused to believe the possibility of her being depressed. I knew all her facial expressions, body language, and tones of voice. We were always honest with each other, especially about big stuff like that. She'd tell me if she felt off. Even though I knew in my gut she was fine, just the possibility of him being right made me feel sick, and I didn't want to talk about it anymore and switched gears to raving about Less and the babies. I told him about how good she was with them, and how she did actual chores now. That part shocked him, and he halfway believed me.

"In all seriousness, though," he began, "I knew she had it in her."

"Me too, but how did you know?"

"She might be spoiled, but she's not a princess."

I snorted.

"She's not," he continued. "She behaves the way she does because we all allowed it. But what did she do when she went to Mt. Komorebi? She found a place to live when she got tired of living with that family and got a job. She did what she needed to do to make things happen."

"Yeah...I guess you're right."

"I know why you invited me here," he said.

I'm sure my eyes were as large as saucers because that caught me ALL the way off guard. What kind of segue was that?

"I just wanted to spend time with you, Dad."

"You're gonna be okay, you know. You're a good man, and you have a good woman by your side. As long as you keep communicating like you do, everything will be just fine. You'll miss us, but you don't need us."

"That's not true. I'll always need you. I want all that parenting advice you promised me."

I sounded like a whiny little kid. Obviously, I knew my parents wouldn't be around forever, but it's one thing to know it and another to actually experience it. I wished I could go back to the time when I teased them for trying to hide their age.

"Parenting is a journey, son. It never ends. Every time you think you have it figured out, your oldest goes through something new and you're back to square one again. Don't complicate things by trying to be the best parent in the world. Be the best parent for your children. Get to know them and treat them as individuals because if you treat them all the same, someone's going to feel misunderstood. Just be the parent you would have wanted. We weren't perfect. Be better than us. You already got a head-start by being with the right person for the right reasons."

All of that was gold, and I appreciated it, but that last bit stirred up all those questions I wanted to ask Mama. Although they weren't meant for him, I still wanted to know something.

"Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"Do you still think Mama was the right sim for you?"

He sighed and stared at the table for a while.

"I do."

"Seriously?"

"You don't?"

"No, it's not that. I just thought that maybe after all this time... I don't know. Maybe you had some new revelation or something."

He was so insightful, and I wanted to know everything that went on in his head. I wanted to listen to him talk until my brain could hold no more words.

"You're right. I have had a long time to consider this, and that's how I know it's true. She was the right woman for me, but we didn't get married for the right reasons."

"Both of you?"

"I told you, I'm not perfect. Your mom told you why she wanted to get married?"

"Yeah. She wanted to have children."

"Right. I got married to appease her."

"Wait...what?"

If he was about to tell me one more bad thing about them, I swear... Good thing I got over all that insecurity because it never ended with these two.

"That night, I was telling her about an article I read about conservation, and she came from left field, suggesting we go to Sulani and elope the next day. It was so random, and I thought she had lost her mind. I knew she was my soulmate, but I wasn't thinking about getting married yet."

"Seriously, I mean, who would?"

He chuckled.

"Your mother, that's who. I tried to talk some sense into her, but you know her. She has an answer for everything. But there came a moment when she realized how crazy this plan sounded and she backtracked. She took it all back, and she was so embarrassed. She started crying and beating herself up, and I hated seeing her like that. I had to do it."

"Wow. You married her to make her feel better."

"Basically. Remember what I said about women using their emotions to get what they want?"

"You think she played you?"

"No. I don't. She was really bothered and very serious about waiting. Your mother... I would have done anything for her. Yeah, she was a spoiled brat, but she was so sweet and had a way of making you want to give her the world. I didn't have much, but I could give her what she wanted. I spent the rest of the night trying to make her believe I wanted to do it and that she wasn't crazy."

"But you loved her, right?"

"Yeah, I did... I do. She wasn't trying to dupe me, but sometimes I couldn't help but think, if only I could have been stronger that night, maybe we'd still be married. But the fact is, we still could have divorced. Maybe over the same thing, maybe something else. Or maybe we wouldn't have gotten married at all. I spent a long time thinking it was my fault when the fact is no one knows what's going to happen in the future. Happily ever after isn't a guarantee, so don't get comfortable, Luca. Marriage is hard work."

He said so many things. The little boy inside me was satisfied just being in his company, but the man I aspired to be wished I had taken notes or something. How could I remember all those gold nuggets? Amid everything he said, one thing stood out. It fascinated me to hear that even though Mama was wrong for what she did, he recognized the mistakes made on both sides. It got me thinking. Could we ever truly cast 100% of the blame on one sim? I had been thinking about Jace and Alessia a lot lately. I was still angry with him, but I didn't want to be, really. He did my sister dirty, and I would probably never forgive him. But if I ever got to a point where I could pause my anger and put away my bias, maybe I could see the mistakes Less made. After all, I only knew what she told me. But that was an assignment for another day. Heh, maybe even another year. Probably a decade.

To be continued...

#ISBI challenge #sims 4 story #sims 4 gameplay #adolting #adolting gen 3 #luca winston murillo #ali murillo

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mchiti · 2 years ago

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I just want to ramble a little to anyone who wants to listen/read... I didn't realize how desperate I was to positive Muslim/arab/north African representation until I watched the world cup and saw the Moroccan nt and how people all across MENA were connected and supportive and loving especially how the players treated their mothers and wives it felt like a safe space looking at our men being successful and happy in the western world was such a positive thing yet....when this happened....it brought me back to reality and how our men treat women and unfortunately I know the western media are gonna use this against us as usual be xenophobic,islamaphobic, racist and give off the stereotype that our men are violent and can't be trusted.

Also I've seen a lot of people say "he can't do that he's Muslim" or "he would never do such a thing" and even which god I wish it was true... But bad people exist in every religion and every community just bc he's Muslim doesn't mean he won't commit haram if that was true we would be live our best lives. And also "the french are trying to sabotage the Arabs and north Africans especially after what happened to Saad Al mejard" which I need people to shut up about this bc Saad was proven to actually r*** these girls and it's soooo hard to prove it and convict criminals so can you imagine how bad it is that he got convicted?

It just makes me mad af I rather support a potential liar rather than a potential r**** I feel frustrated, as a girl I always believe the victim even if victim girls come out and say they were lying I think how much they were payed to say that? Bc after all this is a nobody who's standing against a millionaire man who can get away with anything .

Looking at the world I realized people espresso men are always afraid of being falsely accused of SA and I just want to say .. I never saw a famous man who's an abuser or who committed assault career gets ruined at all , they disappear for a year or two and come back like nothing happened.

I just wish the girl is safe , his mom"oh ya Allah I can't imagine how she feels " and kids safe away from the media

It's just frustrating..... I hope all the girls safety and to never get close to encounter such a horrific experience.

I'm sorry I talked so much I don't have anyone to talk with about this..

tw rape/SA

hayati, anon, hi. I have to be honest it took me a while to manage to get through this bc I have such low energy but I also would never ignore you or not answer you because I hear you, it's so upsetting and I'm very sorry you feel like you have no one to talk to, I don't want this for anyone. I'll just put everything under the cut, I try to be as respectful as I can to other people who don't want to go through this stuff rn

darling I genuinely feel every single word. My thoughts and duas are with the victim first and foremost. If it's true, she deserves justice, but right now she deserves support nonetheless because you're right, at the end of the day if this turns out to be false you've just given support to someone who lied, but if this is true and you stand by him, you're supporting a potential r*pist, so. I hope she's safe, I'm keeping her in my duas, I'm very sad for her.

Secondly I also feel sorry for people in our community who looked up to him. When you are part of a minority and a diaspora kid, or even if you grow up in the country but it's a country that faces strong economic issues and had such a difficult history, you tend to find yourself within your people. I'm talking about Moroccans but also about Africans, Arabs, Muslims, diaspora kids anywhere who looked up to him. We're desperate for representation within our own kind and I feel very much for everyone - me included because I'm genuinely am struggling a lot today, and you anon - who are left down. I was very attached to him bc of everything he had to overcome and what he represented for me and for us so yeah, this is very, very disappointing beyond level. I know many people say "why are you surprised, they are rich men" sure, but we're still here aren't we. And I still can wish that someone I adored wouldn't have done such a terrible thing.

The Islamophobia is real right now, the amount of ridiculous stuff I'm reading. I'm trying to stay in a safe space today, but I'm just sad this kind of gets to me too you know? Like I feel weird about posting about morocco nt now because I don't want to upset people, but I also feel like I'm internalising certain agendas because people are still posting about other psg players, so. You know? I lost two mutuals too and I haven't even posted anything.

But also I'm so disappointed and heartbroken at some of the Muslim community right now. A lot of Moroccans (and not just them) complaining about how France is putting up a propaganda against Maghrebis, it's just unreal really. It's frustrating because it's going to invalidate our struggles and our battles against actual racism too you know. The fact that they are still defending Saad Lamjarred is beyond me with such the history he has and it took years for a bit of justice.

Anon, I also want to wish you to take care of yourself and be in a safe space and I send you an hug extra tight today.

#tw rape #tw sa

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dollfaceksj · 1 year ago

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okay back! Next, “You notice a clench in Jungkook's jaw but he doesn't say anything else, just letting Taehyung vent and be mad because he has the right to.” What was that clench about? Was he angry because he was going in on oc or something else?🤨🤨 Now this is wtf I’ve really been itching to talk about. Mia. Wdym oc looks EXACTLY like Mia !!??!? This for sure is enough to cause a major rift in the relationship. I personally would’ve felt so betrayed. Was this “pull” you felt towards me because I looked like your ex? Do you fuck me and then think in your head your actually still with your ex? Do you use me to fantasize about your ex? Was this what you meant when you said you were in love with me? Are you really just still in love with your ex? Has all this been a lie ? Ik you said they are end game but I honestly dk how they’ll bounce back from this because this i would just feel so insecure throughout the relationship because I’ll always have a “what if” stuck in the back of my head. I feel like between both secrets that were let out, oc’s was more personal but Jk’s was more detrimental to the relationship. Oc didn’t have any intention to trap jk or anything. But did jk have the intention of being with oc solely because she looked like his “first & only love”? Jk’s guilty face didn’t help either. When oc asked who’s Mia, he just looked guilty asf. I don’t see this going good :( “Why does it feel like your necklace is tightening around the perimeter of your neck?” My poor oc :(((( “"I'm not in love with Mia. Stop bringing her up." Jungkook is seemingly losing his patience, evident in the way his voice doesn't sound calm and collected anymore.” UMMM SIRRR why is Mia such a trigger for you?? Why do you get so riled up when Tae brings her up or accuses you of still being in love. It feels like you’re trying to prove it more to yourself than you are to anyone else. Sus. That’s all ima say on that. Because I don’t wanna go off for another 3 paragraphs. “Medication. Your favorite drink. Your favorite food. And your favorite tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.” Poor tae :((. He really had good intentions & ending up hurt asf. He’s so sweet ! He came in the pouring rain all for his bestfriend :( ahhh this chapter was something else. If I’m being honest I did not see the whole oc looking like Jk’s ex thing at all. That was a total plot twist/curve ball! However I kinda saw the whole pregnancy thing just a bit because Tae sorta mentioned it during one of the previous chapters so I was like foreshadowing???👀👀 but yk how I overthink .. I thought that’s all it was. Just me. Overthinking. Guess not 💀. They all care for each other (especially Tae & oc) I really hope Tae & oc can fix their relationship! As well as Tae & jk! As far as oc & jk?? I honestly dk how that’s gonna work out or what you have planned because my inner turmoil would tell me to run for the hills, he thinks I’m his ex! I’m so excited to see what’s next .. I genuinely think you’re my fave author clovey :( <333 sorry for this long ass review/analysis you said you loved it before & I sorta ran with that lol

4. yes so jungkook's clench was mainly because taehyung kept going. implying jk would fuck her over, airing out her business, but he had to bite his tongue and hold off on saying anything to taehyung because taehyung would only get angrier and if jungkook had reciprocated the energy, there would 100% have been a fight. if you weren't right there with them in the kitchen, the fight would have happened. kinda inevitable unfortunately

5. yes the mia thing. everyone's panties are in a twist over this (my goal ofcourse) everyone kept theorizing about how his ex would come back into the picture and jk would fuck up again and i was like thats just too easy, too predictable, too boring. i had to come with something a lot more fucked and harder to bounce back from because the past few fights have just been silly imo (except for jk leaving her n disappearing for two months) so that's how i came up w that plotline. though, the reason why jungkook was losing his patience is because taehyung often brings mia up when they're alone and jungkook has often stated that he doesn't feel for her anymore (to taehyung). taehyung just doesn't believe it but that doesn't mean what taehyung said about him still being in love with her is true

6. and yes. taehyungs big heart. ran to get her all these things just to stumble into a scene he feared. yes he shouldn't have aired their business out like that, yes he had no right to but taehyung genuinely couldn't believe what he was seeing. he had no suspicions of this happening at all, especially because he'd asked y/n about it before (whether she was seeing anyone besides yoongi and she lied to his face) taehyung has never had reason to believe you were lying to him. like he said with the scares, he was the first you told, you told him right away, he supported you, he helped you, he protected you, he kept you sane. so to him, you've been honest about your worst secrets to him, he's never had to doubt your intentions before because he trusts you. this just blew up in his face and he didn't know how to handle it any better. everyone's like "go easy on oc shes young!" but forget that taehyung is the same age as her and he's carrying around all this stress. it's not easy for him either

again, thank you for this amazing analysis, i genuinely enjoyed reading it! can't wait to see your reaction to what else i have in store for you guys <333

#toapp | jjk: discuss

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la0hu · 1 year ago

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ohhhhh my god now i'm angry. they don't even have the grace to confront me about how they want to throw this friendship away? they wanna just run away from the situation and pat themselves on the back for it? that's how little they care? because if they actually gave a shit, i really believe they would fucking call me up pissed, or leave me a wall of text of accusations, or confront me in person. they didn't care enough to fucking engage? to attempt any communication before washing their hands of me?

and now i'm gonna be a bitch because who fucking cares: this is why they don't have friends! ALRIGHT

because they hate meeting strangers, and more often than not they were always so incredibly judgmental of strangers or my friends/housemates if they weren't the stock semi-nerdy twenty-something straight girl who probably went to Harvard and did premed, and they're so passive aggressive when they actually do have a problem with you, i always felt like i had to second guess whether something i just said or did bothered them for whatever reason. and they were so cliquey, and so bad at including new people into the conversation. they honestly didn't have casual friends, and if they did, they talked mad shit behind their back. i honestly felt like they talked about me behind my back all the time, and sometimes to my face too. emma is pretentious, emma is flaky, emma acts like she's too cool for us, emma has a drinking problem (literally THEY were the ones who blacked out and would day drink while i would have three drinks max every time we hung out).

and they always wanted to hang out at least every other weekend, usually every weekend, sometimes multiple times in one weekend. and if i ever felt exhausted by this, it was because i'm the flaky, uncommitted friend, not because i actually have other shit going on in my life, other friends to hang out with, not because i'm fucking bored of going to each other's places only to drink soju and watch kpop music videos again, all while they make fun of what i want to watch.

and i tried to reshape my expectations around this, i told myself they're just shy, they don't like meeting new people, they don't like parties. all the talking about me behind my back and to my face is just them being honest, and not meant maliciously, and i would protest sometimes (and they would always shut me down as if i were insane to believe otherwise). and maybe i should've told them sooner that our weekly schedule was too much, but also, i DID pull back when i needed to, and i told them ahead of time when i wouldn't be able to make dinner, and this past few months i told them what happened and how i've been feeling terrible and how i probably wouldn't text in the groupchat as much.

i fucking tried because i had fun with them. i thought we could keep going and adjust the friendship as we went, and fix the parts that weren't working.

maybe my actual problem is not being a terrible friend or whatever. my actual problem is i never am the one to abandon a friendship first, even if it's quite toxic and fucked up and dysfunctional. i don't want to be the one to end things, because i always feel like it's my fault things aren't working. i should stay and fix what i ruined; i don't have the right to walk away.

but reading back over this, i can't help but feel like these friendships are over. they've been over. and it's probably better for me if they are.

#p #it hurts still. it hurts when i think about how liz was telling me that she had scrolled back to the beginning of our chat history #and was rereading it out of curiosity and sending me the best bits. you don't do that to ppl you don't care about.#but that doesn't demonstrate anything really. not compared to what she and zhiye did in cutting me off.

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ilovehimsosomuchjk · 2 years ago

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I hate them. I hate all my friends. They make me sick and I feel tried if I try to talk to them. I start pretending to be happy even when I'm not. I try being fun when I'm not. I become what I don't want to be. I hate them all. I love them just as much. I regret everything just as much. Im such an asshole, first, I ask them to be away, and when they do I say I regret it. Isn't this what I wanted tho? I can't even remember why I thought they were toxic anymore. I can only remember our sweet memories. How i ruined something so good. How I went watered my own tears. I dug my own grave too. What shame do I have to cry for myself? Isn't being this unknown person who i wanted to be?then why does it hurt when i have no one. Why can't I just be happy with it. I've always thought I never deserved it. Not your kindness, not your honesty, not your trust, not your faith, not you love. Never your love. So why, now when i push everyone away, I feel myself withering. When i just hate everyone so much why do I find myself crying for something gone?

I wonder why i became someone I never wanted to. I didn't want to be rude. I didn't want to be 2 faced. I didn't want to lie. I didn't want to cheat. I didn't want to change. So why did i? Why am I like this? Is this who I'm gonna be forever? I don't want to be me. Each day, i watch myself be more ridiculous than yesterday. I watch myself become someone i was scared to be. What would the 12 me be thinking? Look, it's 15 me. Look at her. She's the girl i hate. This is what I'm becoming so why should I grow up? I don't wanna be her. She's disgusting.

Can I live like this? Away from everyone?

Now, i see it. Just how worthless I am. Just how much I want everyone and how no one wants me. Is this what everyone else feels too? Im lonely. How could I even when i pushed them away?

But,

happy.

Being away from you.

I don't think of you everyday. I don't fret about what I said wrong. I don't overthinking all mine and your mistakes. I am okay. I feel hurt not feeling sad you're not here rn. I don't think of you everyday. And it's eating me alive everytime I come across these shorts and songs that make me believe it's my fault. All my fault. And I'm falling in there again. Once again. I'm done being down there. I'm not going down so easy now. I can't do this to me anymore. Even if it means I'm a mess. Even if it means I'm wrongly accusing someone, no matter how guilty i am, i can't go down there again. I'm terrified. I'm terrified of me. Of who I'm becoming. I can't say this to anyone only because everyone already thinks something of me. Someone thinks I'm honest, some think I'm a liar. Someone believes me, someone degrades me. They hate me, they love me. They respect me and some would just dump me. I don't understand this.

I hate everyone. Not because I'm confused but because they can't be what I be for them.

When I'm with n_____ I feel like I'm a two faced bitch. When I'm with t______ i hate her sometimes, like her sometimes. When I'm with k___, she makes me feel special but lately I think she doesn't wanna be friends either. So many let's not. When I'm with y___ it's just me listening to her, never her listening to me. She says she does but I don't see it. When I'm with p_______... I feel weird. She's someone who I love endlessly, but also the one who hurts me the most. At the end of the day, i would still run to her.

I'm 15. For how long? Today is 19th Jan. 10 Feb is not far. 16? I'm.. supposed to be 16, like this? Like being such a big asshole?

How am I supposed to become older when I'm becoming some i hate? How am I supposed to love myself older when I don't even love me?

Why do I pretend? And when I don't why do I hate me? why can't I just not be disgusting and be okay for once. Truly okay for once. Truly study for once. Truly be nice for once. Why does everything needs to be so hard. Why does everything needs to hurt. Why do I have to constantly think I'm the worst and not deserve anything? Till when?

Till when am I gonna do this?

#19.01.2023

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allegra-writes · 4 years ago

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“Heartfelt”

Bar musician! Harry styles x Bartender!Reader

General audiences

Warnings: None

Just some Valentine's day fluff with our favorite green eyed boy. Dedicated to @gaycinnamonrollgirl for giving me the idea, and @tomsrebeleyebrow for patiently listening to me endlessly gush about Harry Styles and still being my friend. Happy belated Valentine's day 💖

"You don't have to say you love me

I just wanna tell you somethin'

Lately you've been on my mind..."

Adore you - Harry Styles

...Oh, she looks so good, oh, she looks so fine

And I got this crazy feeling that I'm gonna ah-ah…

"Bartender, my good friend! I'll have my usual and a plate of your finest chips, if you would be so kind"

It was closing time when Harry, the local musician, sat in front of you, elbows on the bar you were wiping down while humming to Patti Smith's "Gloria".

You raised an eyebrow at him, but the willowy man could see the slight tremble at the corner of your lips, a tell that you were suppressing a smile.

"I'm afraid the kitchen is closed, mister Styles. Sam left an hour ago."

"Yes yes, but I have it from a very good source he left you a big pile of leftover chips before he did," He accused, "you know, as he does every night..."

You frowned in confusion,

"I thought you hated cold fries. That you found them to be, and I quote, soggy and disgusting"

"I guess you can say I acquired a taste for them" He shrugged, mischievous green eyes sparkling, "Just like you did for this lowlife songwriter in front of you and the heartfelt conversations you share with him"

"Did you now?" There was an edge of scepticism in your voice, but you were already disappearing inside the kitchen.

Harry's heart did a little jump as you didn't immediately deny liking him.

"Hey, Joe" he called out, "why don't you go home? I'll help Y/N close when we're done…"

There was a deaf noise as a young waiter, the only person left in the bar beside the two of you, set the last chair on top of a table.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I got this" he reassured him, "did it dozens of times. Go home to your girl"

"Thanks, mate!" The second brit practically skipped on his way to the backroom, but turned around just before reaching the door. "Listen, you know I like you, but if you hurt y/n in any way…"

Harry smiled, genuinely. He could never get mad at anyone that protective of you.

"You know where I live. Pick my sister on the way, though. I think she would like to join you."

Joe rolled his baby blues,

"I know you're not a creep. I meant her heart"

"Yeah, me too…"

Whatever your friend saw inside Harry's eyes was enough to convince him. He nodded and left, as the musician got up to lock the front door and turn the "open" sign off.

If you noticed Joe's absence at your return, you didn't comment on it, simply setting the giant pile of chips and two cans of cherry cola you were carrying, down in front of Harry, who had returned to his seat.

"Ah, you always have the good stuff!" the sigh that left his lips as he took the first sip of the soda was not unlike the one any of your regulars made after the first taste of something strong after a hard day.

"Rough night?"

"Kind of. Good show though, so at least I have that going on for me…"

"It really was, I'm actually impressed" You had to confess, "And surprised too, it was a bold choice going acoustic on a night like this, with such a big audience," So many people had gathered to see the show that the bouncer had to start rejecting people so you wouldn't have trouble with the fire department "but it definitely worked"

There was a slight blush on the singer's cheeks when he replied, far more humble than you were used to,

"Well, you know, Valentine's day and all that. The band, all have boyfriends and girls they wanted to spend the evening with…"

You tilted your head,

"And you didn't?" It was hard to believe, when almost every night he played there you would see him leave with a different, always sculptural, painfully perfect girl. Or man.

Harry didn't reply, choosing instead to stuff his face with stale fries.

"Alright then" You raised your shoulder in surrender, "keep your secrets…"

He squinted in disbelief,

"Did you just quoted The Lord of the Rings at me?"

"Did you just recognize my Lord of the rings quote?" You countered.

"You are such a nerd!"

"Look who's talking, chicken little!" You gestured at his powder blue sweater with a yellow baby chick at the front and herringbone pants.

"Oi!" His manchester accent popped out, like it always did whenever he lost his cool "I'll have you know, this is Gucci"

You scoffed,

"That doesn't make it any better, it just means that you spent a shit load of money to look like my third grade teacher, mister Harrington!"

"Ok, first of all," he countered, "your teacher sounds awesome and second-"

An inelegant snort escaped your mouth. Harry's emerald eyes pinned you down.

"Second of all, you're no one to talk either, kitten hoodie"

You could feel the heat creeping up your cheeks. Praying he couldn't see your blush in the dim light, you took a mouthful of soda to cool you down.

For a moment, none of you said anything, the sweet notes of Fleetwood Mac's "Dreams" the only thing filling the silence.

… Players only love you when they're playing

Women, they will come and they will go...

"Listen, y/n-"

"If I'm being honest-"

He chuckled,

"I'm sorry, ladies first"

"Now I'm not sure if I wanna tell you…"

"Come on" A grown ass man pouting should not be that cute, "I want to know"

You feigned a long suffering sigh,

"Fine, if you must know- If you must know, I actually like your new style. It's way better than that... rock and roll cliche... thing you had going on when we first met" You gestured vaguely in the direction of his body, "You know, the long hair, black clothes, doc boots…"

He flinched,

"Ugh, Don't remind me. I was trying too hard back then. And not only with my clothes, with my music too"

"Oh, yeah, I remember. All you used to sing about was" You chose your words carefully, "frisky girls and being horny…"

"Well, to be fair, I still sing about being horny"

"Yeah, but now you're…"

You trailed off, unsure of how you could explain the difference, the change in your feelings towards his music, without explaining the change in your feelings towards the man that made it.

However, Harry would not let it go that easy. He was used to you being sharp, opinionated, guarded. Now there was a crack on that armour, and he wanted to see what was underneath it.

You hadn't even realized how close you had leaned into each other until his hot breath fanned over your face.

"Now I'm what, y/n?"

More real. More mature. More emotional, as if he had finally found the link, made the connection between sex and love.

"More open"

Harry smiled,

"Open. Yeah, I like that…"

So close. He was so close now, his malaquite eyes were out of focus. So close you could feel his magnetic field, the gravity of his atoms pulling in yours.

"Harry…"

Never in his twenty seven years of life and over ten as a musician, had he heard a more beautiful sound than his name, breathlessly falling from your lips.

"Yes?" He murmured, lips ghosting over your soft, perfect ones.

"No"

"No?"

"No" You repeated, more firmly, taking a step back, putting as much space between the two of you as possible, "I know what this is"

"And what is this, y/n" To your surprise, he didn't sound mad, or demanding. He sounded confused and sad. Dissapointed but unsurprised, as if he had expected it to go south or… never had dared expect it would actually happen at all.

"A bad idea" You explained, "with guys like you, is always the same: You have beautiful women throwing themselves at you every night. And you take them home with you cause why wouldn't you? You are young, and free and hot. There is nothing wrong with taking what's being offered"

"Y/n-"

"I'm not saying it's your fault" You went on, ignoring him, "And I'm not saying you don't fall in love, sometimes. But that's the exception, not the rule, and I… I'm the kind of girl that's the rule. Not the exception"

Harry had always thought the worst that could happen to him was losing your friendship. Finally making a move, a real move, and getting rejected by you. He thought that was the definitive pain, the one that would obliterate him, if things were not to work out. And he was almost certain they would not work out.

But sitting there, in front of you, separated by a wooden bar that might as well have been the great wall of china as you stood there, arms around yourself, small and defenseless as you explained to him all the reasons why you wouldn't allow yourself to love him… that was way worse.

"What if you already were my exception?" He blurted out, before he could stop himself, "What if I was in love with you?"

You laughed, bitterly.

"Harry, I'm not even your type. I've seen you leave night after night with models and socialites and actors, each one more surreally stunning than the last one…" You didn't have a bad self esteem, you didn't. You considered yourself attractive, but the people Harry usually went for were on a whole different level.

"Yes, but that's only because the most absolutely perfect woman in the world for me, keeps me at arm's length!" He rubbed his face in frustration, "And it's so maddening, so fucked up, the way I can't even get away from her long enough to get over her, because even the pain of seeing her every night knowing I can't touch what I see, that I will never have her, is better than the pain of being away from her.

So I keep on taking home the hottest people I can find hoping they will keep me distracted long enough to fill the hours until I can see her again… until I can-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Never, in all the time you had known each other, had Harry given you a single signal indicating he had any kind of feelings for you. Your relationship had always consisted of friendly banter and quip battles. Sure, you could get flirty sometimes, but you were a bartender, flirting was pretty much your customer service voice, and he was a musician, he would flirt with his own shadow if he could.

Harry opened his mouth to explain, but a familiar melody started coming from the still working speakers.

Walk in your rainbow paradise

Strawberry lipstick state of mind…

"Hey, this is my song!" You didn't quite understand why he seemed so marveled, "You never added any of my songs to your playlist before!"

Oh. Oh.

"Yeah, well" Harry could now clearly see your darkened cheeks as you stumbled over your words, "I guessed I never liked one of your songs so much before"

This time, he was the one blushing and avoiding your eyes.

"What would you say if I told you-... If I told you I wrote this one for you?"

"I'd say you're full of shit" You scoffed, "Didn't you tell me you only ever wrote about girls you had dated?"

"No," he corrected, "I said I only ever wrote about women that had broken my heart…"

"How did I break your heart?"

Harry sighed. Your walls were back up, higher than ever, and he didn't know how to break through them. It wasn't your fault -and had it been your fault, truth was he could never blame you either, there was something about you that made it physically impossible for him to get mad at you- you spoke from experience, he didn't need to unlock the secrets of your past, didn't need the details. It was obvious you had been burned before, and though he hated it, hated them for whatever they had done to you, he couldn't fault you for trying to protect yourself.

Not when he wanted to protect you too.

"You didn't like me, back when we first met"

"Harry-"

"No, it's ok. You didn't like me, and you were right not to like me. I know you probably didn't realize it but, that first time you rejected me, when I flirted with you that very first night and you rolled your eyes at me… you changed my life"

"What? How??"

"You weren't wrong, I was a cliche. And I was trying way too hard, to be cool, act like a rockstar… but you took a look at that guy, at that though, playboy, sex, drugs and rock 'n roll guy… and you hated him" Harry snickered. You didn't understand what about all that was so funny, "I had created that guy so that everyone would like him, and you hated him. And the funny thing is-" He finally met your eye. No, he caught your eye and imprisoned them, "The funny thing is, you hating me for what I wasn't, somehow allowed me to start being myself a little bit more, because if you already disliked me… then I had nothing to lose"

You didn't quite know what to say to that.

His bright green eyes were unable to face yours, choosing instead to focus on the palms he was picking at,

"Is that why you… uhm…" You pointed at his sweater.

"Yup" He admitted, "I showed up here one day, on laundry day, in one of my old nerdy sweater vests and you smiled, when you saw it"

"I remember that!" You chuckled, "It was the brown striped one, it almost looked like a crop top, cause it obviously didn't fit anymore"

Harry nodded,

"I may have had a couple grow spurts since I got that in high school"

"Ok, but, you made it work somehow…"

"Thank you. The point is…" he turned serious again, his deep, rich voice even more hypnotic than usual. Or maybe it was just you, for the first time allowing yourself to enjoy it without reservations. "The point is, you didn't like cool Harry, but you liked the real me. Even if just a little bit, and that meant the world to me. I… I adored you because of it. So I wrote a song for you, cause even if I couldn't say it to your face, I had to get it out. Just like I had to get this out tonight"

He opened his arms wide, in his typical ta-da gesture, sad, resigned smile on his face, before getting up from his stool, grabbing his jacket and guitar case.

"You don't have to say anything, I don't expect you to love me back" He declared, "I just- I thought I'd let you know. Valentine's day and all that."

He turned to leave, his own voice still signing in the background,

I'd walk through fire for you, just let me adore you

Oh, honey…

"Harry, wait!" You almost fell on your face, trying to jump over the bar, but managing to stop him right before he reached the door. His poorly concealed smirk told you he might have seen your little show, but you didn't care.

"Did you mean it? That you'd do anything for me?"

"I did" He confirmed, earnestly, "I still do. Anything you want, just say the word"

"Well then," you took a step towards him, that he mirrored without even noticing, "what about a date? A daytime date. At a public place." You clarified. Harry did smirk at that.

"What's the matter, afraid you won't be able to keep your hands off me?" He teased, leaning closer.

"Don't ruin this, Styles" You warned, raising to your tiptoes to meet him eye to eye.

His smile faltered, replaced by the most sincere intensity you had ever seen on his handsome face,

"Wouldn't dream of it, bartender" He whispered, before capturing your lips with his.

#harry styles #adore you #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #valentines day special

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valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn · 3 years ago

Note

That whole elevator scene in Ragnarok. Honestly I think Loki would have stayed by Thor if he just asked. I think the the "I'm me, your you" line just pushed Loki to be like Well, fine then I will backstab you.

Mind you, both of them are so out of character in this movie that it's hard to read them but the way I see it Loki was trying to keep Thor on Sakaar because he wanted to save his life, he didn't betray him.

This isn't canon and it's only a headcanon, you say? It's quite likely, I'm not denying it. But this is my reading on a scene prior to the one you mention and then the elevator one. The script for Ragnarok is here. This got super long so more after the cut:

When Loki goes to the dungeon he tries to talk to Thor:

Loki: "It hurts, doesn't it? Being lied to. Being told you're one thing and then learning it's all a fiction" (He's trying to sympathize)

Loki: "Does this mean you don't want my help? Look, I couldn't jeopardize my position with Grandmaster, it took me time to win his trust. He's a lunatic, but he can be amenable. What I'm telling you is, you could join me at the Grandmaster's side. Perhaps, in time, an accident befalls the Grandmaster, and then... Loki gestures: "we take over." (He's talking about a future where both of them are ruling together, but staying on Sakaar since he's given up on Asgard already)

Loki: "You're not seriously thinking of going back, are you? Our sister destroyed your hammer like a piece of glass. She's stronger than both of us. She's stronger than you. You don't stand a chance. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?" (He's being honest about it, he fears for Thor's life, he says 'our sister' in hopes that it will get to Thor, but he's not being listened to)

Loki: "Fine. I guess I'll just have to go it alone. Like I've always done" (Since Thor isn't listening to him he tries a different tactic, victimism, a mention of past troubles, anything to get a reaction out of Thor)

Loki: "Would you say something? Say something!"

Thor: "What would you like me to say? You faked your own death, you stole the throne, stripped Odin of his power, stranded him on Earth to die, releasing the Goddess of Death. Have I said enough, or do you do you want me to go further back than the past two days?" (Bit of an asshole reply there. Thor is entitled to be angry for Svartalfheim [although I mean, was he really surprised? he told him after defeating the elves he was going back to the prison cell] but Loki didn't leave Odin on Earth to die and it's not his fault Hela was unleashed. Also it's more of the same, no acknowledgement of all the shit Loki has been put through by his family, Thor included)

Loki: "You know, I haven't seen this Beloved Champion he talks of, but I've heard he's astonishingly savage. I've placed a large wager against you tomorrow. Don't let me down. (From his perspective, he's gone down to the dungeons to talk to his brother, share his plan with him and sympathize with him and yet what he received was a direct attack, an accusation and no support whatsoever, so Loki hurts him back).

After this scene the only thing clear to Loki is that his brother has no interest in listening to him, not even when he's being completely honest about his intentions ("Open communication was never our family's forte"). So he tries something different because he's still determined to keep him on Sakaar convinced as he is that if Thor returns to Asgard Hela will kill him.

On to the elevator scene (I've added a few script notes):

Loki: "Here's the thing. I'm probably better off staying here on Sakaar" (I still think he's trying to convince Thor to stay)

Thor: "That's exactly what I was thinking"

Loki: "Did you just agree with me?"

Thor: "This place is perfect for you. It's savage, chaotic, lawless. Brother, you're going to do GREAT here"

Loki: "Do you truly think so little of me?" (Oh so he cares what he thinks)

Thor: "Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever. But, at the end of the day, you're you, I'm me... I don't know, maybe there's still good in you, but let's be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago" (Very manipulative, a little too victim blamey, not a good look)

This is from the script: [Loki is wounded by Thor's willingness to discard him. Masks his feelings with:] Loki: "It's probably for the best that we never see one another again"

Script: [Thor pats Loki affectionately on the shoulder. Hold on Loki. Did Thor just get through to him?] Thor: "That's what you always wanted"

Thor: "Hey, let's do 'Get Help'" (Immediately after he sees Loki has been affected emotionally by what he said, Thor brings up something they used to do in their childhood, probably in an attempt to make Loki reminisce about a time when they were young, to make him think of their brotherhood)

Loki: "I know I've betrayed you many times before, but this time it's truly nothing personal. The reward for your capture will set me up nicely" (I think this is bullshit, he wasn't betraying him, he was using a last resort to keep him on Sakaar. Better imprisoned than dead)

Thor: "Never one for sentiment, were you?" (I'm really not a fan of making it seem Loki doesn't feel at all. His problem always was that he feels too much)

Loki: "Easier to let it burn" (Liar liar, pants on fire)

Thor: "I agree"

This is from the script: [BZZZT! Thor ZAPS Loki and HOLDS DOWN the button. Loki HITS the ground, WRITHING in pain. Thor approaches]:

Thor: "Oh brother, you're becoming predictable. I trust you, you betray me. Round and round in circles we go" (He didn't betray him all that much, what is he talking about there? Who knows, but the audience buys it so... And it's always useful to keep the focus on Loki so no one asks about his family's actions)

Script: [Thor continues to "think about it" for a beat while Loki convulses in agony on the floor. Finally, Thor kneels down]:

Thor: "See, Loki, life is about, it's about growth. It's about change. But you seem to just wanna stay the same. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you'll always be the God of Mischief, but you could be more. I'll just put this over here for you. (So he's basically confirming Loki has to change to be accepted? Not a good look either)

Script: [Thor places the fob on top of the security panel, so close but so far from Loki's paralyzed reach] Thor: "Anyway, I got places to be so good luck."

This last part is so damn bad, so out of character for Thor, that I have no idea who wrote it but I'm going to assume they were drunk as they typed it out. Thor would NEVER stand there and watch as Loki is writhing in pain or convulsing in agony on the floor. Not even in a moment when they were trying to beat each other psychologically and emotionally, not even when Loki is acting like he's betraying him, it's not in Thor's nature to act this way at all. And what's worse they played it all for laughs.

Reading the script I think they were trying for a scene where both Thor and Loki manage to get through to each other and it is shown that in the end they love each other but this is assuming their position is the same in all this when it's not. Loki is coming from a place of being mistreated, disregarded and discriminated against and the only way you can fix their relationship is if all this is acknowledged and Thor realizes he had a part in it, if that acknowledgement is said out loud and an apology is given to Loki. But we didn't get any of that! The outcome was Thor telling him there might be some "good" in him and that he needs to change. That's the exact opposite of what Loki needed and deserved.

So yeah, nice try but terrible execution.

#Loki #Thor #Ragnarok #fuck that got long #this is my headcanon and the way I read the scenes #in no way I'm saying this is the only acceptable way to read them

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aot-snk-4238 · 3 years ago

Text

My thoughts on AOT No Requiem (Fanmade Ending) Part 1:

With another chapter of this story coming out soon, I thought now would be a good time to share my thoughts on the first part. Before I do that, though, I have a few things that I would like to get off my chest.

A part of me hates that this project exists. Not because I find it disrespectful, but because it serves as a bitter reminder of what a complete mess this ending caused among many fans. I'm still in disbelief how things got so bad so quickly. First, you've got the people who hated it. People began turning on Isayama and calling him a terrible or incompetent writer, regretting ever getting into the series, insisting that it was worse than Game of Thrones, the list goes on and on. People who liked the ending are now endlessly referred to as "ending defenders" or more crude names like "Isayama cockriders," as though they're a bunch of incompetent fools who don't know the first thing about reading comprehension all because they just happened to like it. And then of course you've got the other extreme end of the spectrum where the ones who were disappointed are accused of not understanding the story or they're only upset because their favorite ship or fan theory didn't become canon. This, too, is very demeaning and invalidating for those who grew up with this series that they gave their heart to and cherished for so long, only to have it do what they felt was a complete 180 at the very last second that undid every part of the story they thought was special and unique. It's one of the hardest slaps to the face you can get as a reader and long-time fan, and while I can't fully relate to everyone's feelings, I can at least understand and acknowledge that it's there and it shouldn't be laughed at. Now with all of that out of the way, here are my thoughts and analysis of this fanmade ending and how it differs from Isayama's.

To start things off, I found that part 1 started off similar to how 137 did in the canon manga, with Armin and Zeke conversing in PATHS. The biggest difference would be kid Eren being transported there and seeing his older self. To be fair though, this chapter was only about half the length of what we're used to reading, so I'm sure we'll get a lot more in part 2 onwards.

While Zeke is enlightening Armin on the history of the earth and how the life form that attached itself to Ymir sought to avoid death forever, young Eren is in PATHS too with his older self, witnessing the moment Ymir found the tree and fell in it to become the first titan. At first, there is no dialogue exchanged between them. They just hold hands and watch. Meanwhile, Zeke is still talking to Armin about Ymir and how she continued to serve her oppressive master despite acquiring godlike powers that would allow her to obliterate him whenever she pleased. This is where the team working on this project attempt to provide their own alternate possibilities as to why this happened in a way that would make more sense than what we were given in the canon story in which she simply had a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome and couldn't let him go no matter how much he made her suffer.

So what are these new possibilities? They come in the form of a question, so their validity is not made absolutely certain, but they're presented as the most likely candidates nonetheless.

According to Zeke, she was unable to separate her own desires from King Fritz and was a lost girl who sought meaning. A place to belong. Tragically, King Fritz was the only connection she had in her life, so she clung to it with everything she had despite it being toxic and abusive. I could argue that these are the very reasons why she supposedly loved the king in the official manga, as explained by Eren in 139, but they weren't explained or touched on as plainly as they were here. I feel like they could have been if Isayama had just been given more time, but sadly the whole thing was rushed and underdeveloped.

Moving on, Zeke states that despite his efforts in trying to understand Ymir and her feelings, it was Eren who ultimately was able to get to her and offer her the choice of freedom. The next page transitions to young Eren standing in the clouds with his arms spread out and a smile on his face just like in the official 137, only this time 19yo Eren is next to him. Now I'm going to be honest here, this is where things started to get a little corny for me. Yeah. I know a lot of people hate that argument, but that's just how it felt to me. And before I say anything else, I want everybody to know that I am in no way about to mock anyone's fondness of this Eren over the one we saw in 139, even if it was a little over-the-top. It's perfectly fine to prefer one over the other, I'm just going to try to explain myself the best I can without coming across as harsh or unprofessional.

Eren is drawn in these panels to be a stone-faced, determined and unstoppable force who will "keep moving forward until his enemies are destroyed." This is the Eren that many people grew most familiar with throughout the series, despite his occasional breakdowns, but something about the way it was executed just felt a little too overdramatic and exaggerated. For me, the contrast between this Eren and the Eren we were presented with in 139 is too jarring. It came across to me as the fandom's idealized version of Eren, the "chad" Eren if you will, rather than Isayama's portrayal of Eren who is cold and determined, but has also been experiencing stunted mental growth ever since the day he saw his mother get eaten; side note: I know that Eren himself was responsible for his mother's death, but that's a discussion for a later time. Not only that, but the "keep moving forward" line starts to get overused at this point. We already heard Eren say this a number of times before 137 where this first fanmade chapter takes place, so I didn't find it necessary to include that at the end, but it seemed to be the writers' way of trying to reinforce Eren's ultimate goal.

Regarding the rest of the chapter, young Eren asks older Eren what Ymir is still waiting for after he showed her that she's not alone. 19yo Eren proceeds to explain that while he was able to make her feel something again, she still needs somebody to free her. He shows his younger self all of the visions from PATHS that he's seen so far, ranging from past events to alternate realities to things that couldn't be changed no matter what. Now there is only one path left that he strives toward. The one that he believes will grant him and his people freedom. This next line is the one that stood out to me the most throughout this fanmade chapter. Still talking to kid Eren, adult Eren says, "When you wake up, you will forget what you learned, but not what you felt here. This will all feel just like a long dream." Only when he kisses Historia's hand will it all come back to him. This line more clearly explains why Eren woke up crying in chapter 1, but couldn't remember why. Then he circles back to how he intends to carry out his own plan to end the cycle of hatred once and for all. Despite his efforts along the way, he couldn't change the flow of PATHS and save the friends he lost or prevent certain events from happening altogether, so he had to accept that sacrifices had to be made. In this case, he will have to literally sacrifice the world, much to Armin's horror.

To wrap this up, I'm going to finish comparing this to the canon 137, but since the first part of this project only covers the PATHS portion of it, that's where I'll stop as well. To save a little but of time, I'm just gonna be lazy and copy the first part of a quick overview of the chapter I found as part of the wiki:

So clearly, canon 137 starts off focusing a lot more on Armin and Zeke's differing philosophies and does not provide any further insight into Eren's ultimate motives like this one does, at least not yet. Armin and Eren are bound to face off soon in this fanmade version, but it looks to me like this time the writers are planning on flipping the outcome and having Eren come out victorious instead, especially when I remember the name of this project and what it's based on. I guess that means that in a way, I already know what's ultimately going to happen throughout the rest of this project. Whether it's going to be considered superior to the actual ending is going to depend on if its executed properly. I could very well be wrong about some of this, though. I want to give it a fair shot since these people have clearly put a lot of hard work and passion into this, so I will refrain from further judgement until we get the full picture. On a side note, I just want to say that the artwork is beautiful so far and I commend every artist responsible for their efforts. I also liked the song choice at the beginning and thought it set the mood pretty well.

Thank you to everyone who read the whole thing. This took me far longer to write than it should have because I'm not always good at expressing myself in a way that does not come across as confusing or contradictory. I will continue to share my thoughts as more content is released, which by the looks of it could be any day now.

#snk #aot no requiem #snk fanfiction #snk manga #snk 137 #armin arlert #zeke jaeger #eren jaeger #ymir fritz

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bumbershots · 4 years ago

Text

LOVEFOOL

Author’s note: HELLO! This is my part for the Valentine’s Day challenge that @1dffchallenges put together. Make sure to keep an eye out for any other pieces published by other authors. Enjoy! And happy Valentine’s weekend! (:

Summary: Harry agrees to go on a blind date set up by his friends in hopes that it will help him move on from an unrequited love.

Word count: 3K

Challenge prompt and dialogue: blind date set up by friends. “I don��t want this to end...”

There’s a first for everything. Harry’s had his fair share of them at the age of twenty-seven. First time on an aeroplane at the tender age of six for a family holiday in Rome. First kiss on his home town’s park with someone he deeply cared about. First time in a recording studio. First time going on tour. The first night spent alone in his new and barely furnished home. The first morning he laid eyes on the girl next door. The ugly heartbreak after she got married, certainly felt worse than his first one.

Life is full of firsts, Harry knows that, and he wishes to have been the first to sneak his way into Jane’s heart, all those years ago.

"You love her" it almost sounds like an accusation coming from Jeff, though the last thing he wants is to make Harry feel guilty. The musician doesn't reply, he shrugs, eyes never leaving her no matter how deep into the ocean she seems to be. "Does she know?" Harry shakes his head in denial. "Did you bring her along just so you could tell her?"

"I enjoy writing music with her, that's why she's here," his tone leaves no room for more questions, the manager knows and sighs defeated. Harry stands from his spot on the beach and heads back inside the house, alone.

Is he being that obvious?

He reviews the past few days and wonders where he slipped, nothing rings any bell. Harry completely and conveniently forgets how he doesn't nag her for having a smoke after dinner, instead he just opens the window and stands close to it, or how he's been making her a cuppa everyday at noon. But it was the time when Jane asked him to help her French plait her hair when something clicked in Jeff's brain, the way Harry beamed at such a simple request left no room for questioning. Yet he asked him, because there was that tiny chance of it all being part of the manager's imagination, but when he looked back on it, the little things now made more sense to him and in a way he always knew.

They've been in Port Antonio for two weeks now and everything was going just dandy, Harry was writing more than ever, the first week he had a new song every day, he even polished the old ones and had a tune for his favourites, thanks to Mitch's help. When Jeff Azoff got there earlier this week, he spent a good two hours talking to Jeff Bhasker about how much of a good idea the trip was.

"Harry is on a writing spree." He complimented Azoff's client, it was nothing but the truth. However the reason for it all, was now heading back to the house to join the others after a good surfing session.

Jane went straight to take a shower, ready to rinse all the ocean's saltiness from her body, thinking how wonderful it would've been if her own worries could be washed away with her tangerine shampoo. In contrast to Harry's good spirits and excellent mood, her own cloud of trouble seemed to follow her all the way from London. She still hadn't heard from her husband, so it is safe to say he was still upset about her going away to work in Harry's album. It was impossible for her to forget the argument they had, at first thinking it was a joke on his side, insinuating that they were ‘shagging behind his back’.

After her shower, wearing comfortable clothes, Jane joins the others for supper but keeps to herself, still with the dichotomy about calling Alex or letting him be. He will eventually come to his senses and apologise.

What if he doesn't?

The thought alone of her clothes being packed in boxes by the time she gets back home almost makes her cry, perhaps she can call or text him just to test the waters. It is ridiculous how she seems to be more mature about this than him.

"Penny for them?" Harry's voice brings her back to the now empty dining room, the voices from the rest of their party can be heard from the living room.

"God I'm sorry H, lost myself out there for a moment," she is embarrassed, with him, the others and herself for letting this situation get under her skin. And she's also avoiding talking about it, with Harry or anyone. "I was just thinking about the tempo for Sweet Creature."

"Liar," he hates to be shut down by her more than anything. "Is it because I didn't let you eat the last peanut drop the other day?" It would've been easier for her to say it was, than to address the actual reason. But Harry hasn't lied to her, ever.

"No love, although I was a bit hurt because of that, it's actually this thing with Alex we are, I don't know, he was upset with me and said some things," Jane couldn't finish, her speech was cut short by a quiet sob and Harry was quick to pull her from the chair onto his lap and hold her tight. His own heart speeding at the sight of her distressed.

"When was the last time you spoke to him?"

"Two weeks ago." Her voice barely whispers on his chest, "he's being a wanker to be honest, just because he's not going on tour with any of his bands I'm supposed to be a stay at home wife!"

"Why don't you explain this to me, from the beginning, please?" He asks rubbing her back soothingly, and she spills it all, the having kids now or never argument, to her wanting to have a proper wedding party and finally the latest fight where Alex suggested an affair going on between her and Harry, the latter had to do his best not to put the option on the table, since her husband so kindly suggested it. Might as well, he thought. "It all sounds like a big misunderstanding, I know you're a great communicator sunshine, so it baffles me that you've let this go on for so long." He's got a point.

"You're right, but I feel like it's his turn, you know?" Jane's done weeping, but remained on her friend's lap and arms, head resting on his shoulder. "He's always forward, mature, a proper thirty year old except when it comes to arguments where we ought to reach an agreement," she plays a bit with the cross hanging from his neck, a scowl on her pretty face. "Like with the children thing, we only stopped arguing when I said that maybe in two more years we could have one instead of, you know, my early thirties." It's good that she can't see how upset Harry is.

"You gave into that one, he should do the same but it's his choice," Harry sighs and can't believe what he's about to say. "Take the day off tomorrow, call him or FaceTime, Skype whatever you choose, but have a proper conversation with him." She wants to argue and say it's not necessary to be absent the whole day, she can spare a few hours. But she will need time to think about what to say, make her point clear so they are on good terms until she goes back to London.

"Fine, but if he is still acting like a dickhead afterwards, I'm not going to let it into my head anymore, we will continue to bask in this great work environment going on here." Jane states, pulling away from his embrace just enough to give him that stern look she uses when trying to make a point, and Harry nods with a warm smile, the one she never gets tired of seeing. "I'll call it a night now, gonna be asleep in seconds now that I've got that out of my chest." She stands from his lap, missing his warmth instantly. "Thanks for that."

"Anytime honey pie." Harry says before leaving a kiss on her left hand that burns her skin from then till morning.

Jeff joins the musician in the dining room right after the girl walks away to her room, he takes a seat across from him and scrutinises the look of adoration his friend still sports once she is out of the room.

"She'll never know, if you never tell her." Jeff is right, but the thought alone of going through that again scares him to death. Or so he says, because there's a part of him that is fond of the thrill it makes him feel.

"It's not like I haven't tried, just last year I told her," Harry remembers that night vividly, how pretty she looked even with her makeup all smudged under her eyes. "I'm not sure if she heard, it was too loud like where we were at the time." He was also pissed out of his mind.

"H, there's nothing wrong with being in love."

"I'm not saying it is, but even if she did love me I– I would find a way to hurt her. Anyway. she's happily married now, it's too late." Saying it out loud doesn't hurt him any less like he thought it would. Harry sighs in defeat before rising from the chair, "she's everything to me, I wouldn't mess with her head by confessing my feelings, deep down I always knew she deserved better and now she has it and that's good enough for me." The musician disappears through the corridor where his everlasting love did just a few minutes ago, he paused for a moment outside her room, pondering whether to barge in and just follow his instincts, kiss her like he should've done after winning that award back in 2014.

Harry shakes his head and goes straight to his room, he reminds himself that it was time to let her go. It's for the best. He is not good enough for her, he can't even write a song for her, about her. He mustn't love her that much then.

What Harry doesn't know is that he can't write a song about her because he loves her too much, the poor lad can't even figure out where to start. But he's about to get rid of that curse in a day or two, he just needs to be patient.

The reward for it came, all of a sudden Harry wrote too many songs about her until she inevitably became aware of the situation they were in. Harry vowed to stay away from Jane’s life after recording the album. He dated people that didn’t remind him of her, and even moved temporarily to Japan. But despite all his efforts, four years later Harry still finds himself thinking about her, everything seems to be tainted by her. The music he adores, the new dinner recipes he cooks, the books he chooses to read.

Completely out of options he agreed to this blind date his friends set up for him.

He arrives at the modest restaurant they so kindly chose for the occasion. “All you have to do is wear something nice and show up.” Alexa reminded him over the phone last week.

This is a new first for him, it is also exciting, to take a seat at a table for two conveniently placed at the back, pretend to pay attention to the menu but let his green eyes avert to whoever approaches. Harry is having a great time, he knows that soon his date will arrive. He wonders what they’ll be like.

According to Alexa and Pixie, the person arriving is the perfect match for their young friend. Harry can only hope they like Vietnamese cuisine because that’s apparently this place’s special offer this week. If he’s lucky enough the date will agree to share a starter and perhaps two main courses, that way he doesn’t have to choose between one or the other.

“Here’s your table.” Harry hears the waiter speak and his gaze meets a very familiar figure standing beside him. It can’t be.

“Excuse me, there must be a mistake, I’m waiting for someone else.” Harry protests.

The waiter shakes his head and shows him the notepad with some specifications written down. “Nothing wrong, got specific instructions from Miss Chung, a lady will come in to say is here for Geldolf’s blind date, you are sitting at the table they reserved. I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your order.” He is quick to explain and disappear.

Jane sits because there is no way she can stand any longer, her legs are about to give out from the commotion. This was not the blind date she was expecting either. It’s been at least four years since she last saw Harry. The night after he finally admitted being in love with her, waiting for a reaction, anything from her, after what seemed like hours but was only ten minutes later, he walked out of her house and entire life, leaving her confused and upset.

“How’ve you been?” she asked after confirming that Harry wasn’t going to up and leave.

“Pretty fantastic, until you arrived.” He’s never spoken to her like that before, with so much affliction in his tone. “What are you doing here?”

“I was set up on a blind date by Pixie—

He interrupts her. “That’s fucking convenient, did you all went to this much trouble, just to mock me? I thought they were my friends, you know, that even after everything, they cared about me.” Harry stops, his voice breaks, he’s so angry, hurt and confused by the situation. “Did your husband come along, to witness my humiliation too?” He looks around, trying to find the man of Jane’s dreams.

“I wouldn’t know if he’s here, haven’t seen him since we got divorced three years ago.” She snaps before hiding behind the menu from a gobsmacked Harry.

The words he’d been waiting to hear were finally out of her mouth. Unlike the million times he dreamt about this happening, Harry is not sweeping her off her feet and running away into the sunset holding her hand. Instead he reaches out to touch her arm, testing the waters. He waits for her to lower the menu and surprisingly there are no tears in her eyes. Perhaps only a bit of sorrow that is quickly replaced with confusion, at how fast her heart raced after Harry’s touch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice is back to oozing the tenderness he reserves just for her. Jane nods.

“But can we share a rice bowl and Pho noodle soup?”

“Yes, and dessert too!” Even after four years Harry’s sweet tooth hasn’t changed, Jane sighs before the waiter is back to take their order.

Keeping a conversation between the two of them is not hard at all, even if it is an awkward topic —her not so recent divorce. “We didn’t have anything in common anymore, there were so many fights every single day. When I finally suggested the separation, he seemed relieved and I felt like a complete fool.” Jane remembers the sigh of comfort that came out of the man she once loved with all her heart before that rainy afternoon, when she finally decided that she’d had enough. “He left that night, hadn’t seen him since, his lawyer took care of everything,” a sour laugh escapes her lips, Harry’s eyes are full of sympathy for her. “I’m sorry for ruining your blind date, I know you’ve never been to one before.” Of course she did, she knows him better than anyone.

“This has to be the greatest date I’ve ever been to.” He speaks without a second thought.

All those years Harry spent away from Jane were not going to be in vain. He was not going to neglect the feelings he still had for her. That affection he felt for her, only her. Harry shifts in his seat, this is not at all how he planned it, in a restaurant full of people on fucking Valentine’s day. It almost seemed like a tacky move.

But after all this time of pining for her, hating her and himself at times. Harry was brave enough, it was now or never, he didn’t want to wait any longer, not after his friends schemed and executed this soppy plan to bring the two soulmates together. Before she could take the final bite of dessert that Harry kindly left for her. The world stopped.

“I don’t want this to end...” Harry says with a dimpled smile she can’t look away from. “I’d like to take you out on a second date, a third, fourth, fifth. Believe me when I tell you, I have planned up to a thousand of them.” He takes her hand in his and can feel her pulse race along his own. The smile splits his face again, because he knows, he feels, he sees it in her beautiful eyes. “Janey, you’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to hold on to. I know there is a name for this emotion, I’ve written songs about it, but now I don’t think it’s a word big enough for us.”

She squeezes his hand and breaths out a laugh, tears of joy brimming out of her eyes. “Let’s call it love, until we come up with a better name for it.” Harry agrees and just then, Jane brings up his hand to her lips.

His skin tingles where she kisses him for the first time and he beams at her.

There’s a first for everything, and although it feels like it for Jane and Harry, this isn’t by any means the first time they confess their love for each other. It was always there, in every laugh they shared, every song they wrote together, every touch. It was on Harry’s unwavering devotion, on his impatience and selfless actions throughout the years.

They were bound to be together, their story didn’t begin on that initial blind date, it did years ago after he caught a glimpse of her shiny black hair on the morning she moved into the house across the street.

Harry drives her back to her new flat on the other side of the city, enjoying every minute of the long ride, happy to hear her ramble about her newest obsession with romantic novels and burst out laughing after Jane confesses that sometimes she doesn’t finish reading books she likes, just to pretend the story keeps going. With a quick kiss to the back of her hand he completely agrees.

No tale is more compelling than one that never ends.

#1dffvalentine #harry styles

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jessmalia · 3 years ago

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yea people don’t like jenny/nate coz she got him drunk so that’s she could take advantage of him while he couldn’t consent to make it seem like he cheated on serena. there’s a reason next to no one them like their hate is very much deserved

oh boy... there's a lot to unpack here and this answer is gonna be really long, so just, stay with me okay?

Obviously, that's not good, I never said that and I never will. But if you follow me you probably know that I tend to ignore canon when it's badly written, and the whole Jenny/Jenate thing was very badly handled. I like Jenny and Nate because they have ✨potential✨ if you get what I'm saying. I thought they were extremely cute in season 2 and I really wish they would've been explored more in depth and like actually be given a chance to have an actual relationship.

I like Jenny and Nate because in her entire life Nate is the only one who's been there for her without judgement. She has always been my favourite GG character so I guess I like to see her with Nate cause he's literally the only one who consistently treats her with respect. I'm also a big sucker for the "my brother's best friend" trope so there's that lol.

Now... onto the whole “Jenny trying to steal Nate from Serena” thing, cause the whole situation is really way more complicated then you make it seem. I think the fandom’s issue with this really comes from this certain Surface Level Activism that’s very common on tumblr.

Like, people here are so quick to condemn anything they see as bad™ without thinking about it with any sort of depth and nuance, which ultimately doesn’t do anything good.

Now, user @rainathorpe (who doesn’t even ship jenny and nate but actually sees jenny as a lesbian which is totally valid) has already made a post about this and probably phrased it way better than I ever will but I’ll do my best while simultaneously linking their posts lol or at least a couple of them there was one in particular I couldn’t find but oh well I guess I’ll have to do without it.

I haven’t actually watched the show in a while, but I have seen it like 7 times over, so I’d like to believe I remember it pretty well, and I have no idea what you mean with “she got him drunk so that’s she could take advantage of him while he couldn’t consent” like, that never happened???? What I remember was that she slept over at his/Chuck’s place a couple of times where she and Nate literally just played Wii. And that she slept in Nate’s shirt that she stole and put in her bag so Serena would see it and think he was cheating. Then on his birthday she distracted him even tho she knew Serena was planning a surprise and later kissed him during the game. Don’t get me wrong, that is all BAD, but you make it sound like she got him drunk and r*ped him, which, no???? Like maybe they got drunk together one time (I remember there being a party) but the only time she did anything like that was when she kissed him, and that situation, while still BAD, is no where near the level you’re accusing her of.

And also, does no one remember that breaking Nate and Serena up was Chuck’s idea, not Jenny’s? (post about that HERE) Like, I’m not trying to completely absolve Jenny of responsebilitby for her actions, but doesn’t the fact that she’s being manipulated into doing this by an older man, who has way more power and money than her and who also tried to rape her once, tipp you off that she’s also partly a victim in this situation?

I also implore you to think WHY Jenny’s doing all this. it goes back to what I said earlier about Nate being the only one there for her, or to quote @rainathorpe directly “nate’s the only person who’s seen her at her most fucked up state and still retained respect for her”. Jenny’s in such a bad place in season 3 (and onward too, let’s be honest, post HERE) and like, no one helps her!!! Rufus is just a horrible dad (post HERE), the writers pretty much forgot that she and Dan are siblings, and Eric isn’t friends with her anymore. The only one she has is Nate. After all, this happens after Nate saves her after Agnes drugs her and basically leaves her to get assaulted which also makes it really weird that you think she would get Nate drunk and assault him after that like she would NOT it would be incredibly ooc. So I think it’s natural that this 16 year old (let’s not forget that she’s also a child) latches onto the one thing she has when her whole life is falling apart. Even if she does it in a very bad way, and yes, that should be acknowledged and criticized.

I think that overall the way the fandom views Jenny is just so fucked up and no the hate she gets is not deserved. Like, of all the bad things Jenny has done that I just wrote about, how many just as bad or worse things have the other characters, namely Blair, done? People literally hate Jenny for the same reasons they love Blair, and like, just say you’re classist and move on? The show completely falls into that trap too as they start villainizing the poorer characters (Jenny, Vanessa, Ivy, Juliet) while the rich mains gets everything they ever wanted without consequences. Before you attack me, I’m not saying that Ivy and Juliet were “good actually”, but there is still a pattern of making the villains mid or lower class and it’s disgusting.

I don’t even know how to conclude this really but just approach situations with more nuance in the future will you?

#btw this is the closest i've ever gotten to anon hate are you guys proud of me?#tw rape mention #anon hate #gossip girl #meta #jenny humphrey #jenny humphrey defence squad #nate archibald #jenate #otp: nothing is wrong with you #anti chuck bass #mal answers

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eleanorbloom · 4 years ago

Text

Skeptical (w/ Tobias Carrick)

Book: OH: TY. Characters: Eleanor Bloom (MC), Tobias Carrick, Aurora Emery, and Bryce Lahela (briefly). Summary: Eleanor confronts Tobias about Aurora. Rewrite of Book 3, Ch. 9.

Word Count: 2.1k Rate/Warnings: Teen, few curse words.

A/N: Hello! I'm bringing something different than usual. PB has been doing like Tobias never used Aurora, like he never hurt my friend (and LI too) and personally, I can't stand it. So here's my take about it. I wrote it with Eleanor instead of Rosalía because in Rosalía's universe Aurora never tranfers to Mass Kenmore.

Hope you like it!

Taglist: @romereadingshop @starrystarrytrouble @penda-bear @queenelianar @julia-highstorms @mercury84choices @openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations I'm using my Aurora x Rosalía taglist because I thought you might be interested in reading this. Feel free to ignore it if only want to read romance lol

_________

Eleanor furrowed her lips as she was listening to Tobias telling his side of the story with Ethan.

When Tobias joined the Diagnostic Team, she was very dubious about everything that involved him. She didn't know him enough but the few things she knew about weren't good.

His blatant competitive attitude, the feud with Ethan, the fact that he was hired by Leland without consulting Ethan. All those signs telling her she shouldn’t trust Tobias.

But once she got to know him better, her image of him started to change. He wasn't the insufferable he was the first day, he was actually charismatic and rather funny. Easy going once she knew him past his competitive attitude, and she had learned a lot with him even if Tobias wasn't the type of Doctor she would normally admire. His values were totally opposed to hers, as she learned with Francis' case.

But still, something was stopping her from actually trusting him.

She did believe he was sorry for the stupid, childish attitude he had with Ethan, and seemed to be acting according to that, trying to make up for his mistakes.

He deserved a second chance.

But her skepticism had nothing to do with the Diagnostics Team or Ethan.

It was about Aurora.

“What is it? You don't believe me?” Tobias asked when Eleanor hadn't said a word since he finished his story. Trying to hide his concern, he gave her a mischievous smirk.

Eleanor didn’t know what to say.

It was hard to believe he wasn’t the same person who sabotaged his own friend when last year he used a person to get what he wanted. He hired Aurora to entice Harper to work in Mass Kenmore.

He hurt her friend, even unknowingly. And Eleanor couldn’t forget that or just get past that.

“Why do you say that?” Eleanor asked, trying to conceal her skepticism, but there was no use. She had always been too transparent with her emotions, and this time wouldn't be the exception.

“Well, you don’t look too convinced with what I told you.”

He was right. She wasn’t.

Eleanor sighed. Should she tell him? It wasn't her problem to tell, it was Aurora's, and knowing her, she would never confront Tobias about it. She barely had confronted her Aunt because they were family, but in no way she would face the umpteenth person that used her to get to Harper Emery.

“Come on, we're among friends here. I confided in you really top secret stuff, Elle.”

Eleanor grimaced at the sound of that name on his lips.

"I prefer Ellie if you don't mind. The only person that calls me Elle is my partner."

Tobias' hazel eyes widened in surprise for a brief second, “Sure, sure, my bad. Ellie it is.”

Eleanor nodded.

“So? Come on, be honest. I won’t get mad at you because you can’t believe I wanna mend up things with Ethan.”

“It’s not that. This is not about Ethan.”

“Then what is this about?”

Eleanor pondered her words. What was the best way to approach this?

“I believe you regret what you did to Ethan, but it's hard to tell you have changed since that.”

His brows knitted in curiosity, but for a brief second, embarrassment flashed features, “Okay, that's fair. Can I ask what makes you believe that?”

Eleanor wasn't particularly a confrontational person. Only when a person pressed her buttons she would actually confront that said person. And Tobias hadn't pressed any buttons, but the chance that they would have this kind of conversation in the future was extremely low. And she really needed to tell him that, in order to have a more amicable relationship with him.

“The fact that you used a person to get what you want.”

Tobias frowned, “Eleanor, what are you talking about?”

He was incredulous. And oblivious. Apparently, he had no idea where she was going with that accusation.

“You used Aurora to get Harper to work in Mass Kenmore,” Eleanor said, and Tobias' face disfigured instantly, “You didn't hire Aurora because she was a good doctor, but because she was Harper Emery's niece.”

“How did you know?”

“When you went to pick up some stuff after the Solomon Kenmore partnership, Aurora and I heard the discussion you had with Harper.”

Tobias winced in earnest regret.

"You seem like a decent person now that I know you, but even if your mistake with Ethan was years ago, what you did with Aurora is as much condemnable as what you did to him, and this happened just last year."

As Tobias remained silent, she continued.

“That's why I can't believe you. I just… can't stand people who use other people. And it's worse if you used my friend.”

“You're right,” it was the only thing he could say.

“Do you have any idea what is like living under the shadow of Harper Emery?” Now that she had opened her mouth, she couldn't stop. “Aurora has struggled her whole life with that, and transfer to Mass Kenmore was the opportunity to escape that. She deserves the spotlight, that people value her for her work, for her brilliance, and not for her family name. But it turned out, it wasn't because you believed she was good. You actually didn't give a fuck about her as long as you get what you wanted.”

Tobias gave her a pained look, “Aurora is a brilliant doctor, an outstanding resident. It didn't take her long to become the best resident in Mass Ken, and I know she'll achieve great things after finishing her residency.”

“But you found out that after. You only saw her as your mean to get Harper. And that's wrong. I'm sorry, but I can't act like this never happened. You used my friend, you made her doubt about her worth. I can't forget that.”

“You're right, Eleanor. But she should've never found out...”

“That's not the point! Or it is, actually. You did it knowing it was wrong. It doesn't matter if she finds out or not. You used a person and that was wrong. And if you're really trying to grow up from that 'blatant competitive' attitude, the first thing you should stop doing is using people.”

Tobias averted her eyes for a few moments, processing her words, concealing the shame.

He never thought their conversation would turn out like this.

“Well, what can I say? You're right in feeling that way about me, Eleanor, so I won't try to change your mind when it's clear that the wrong is on me. ”

“I've been very tempted to like you, but I can't like the person who hurt my friend. Hypocrisy doesn't work for me.”

Tobias shook his head, amazed, “You're something else, Eleanor. I wish I was lucky enough to have a friend like you, firm in your values and loyal.”

"You were lucky enough to have it, Tobias, but you betrayed him. Ethan is a loyal friend, and true to his values to a fault. And probably you know that better than me."

Tobias gave her a sad smile. Eleanor could swear there was melancholy in his eyes.

“Thank you for your honesty, Eleanor. I really appreciate that. I'm gonna learn a lot with you.”

Eleanor blushed, incredulous. He was being sincere or he was just schmoozing?

Only time would tell.

The cafeteria was quiet at that time of the night. Perfect place to study. Bryce had been interrogating Eleanor for the past thirty minutes in his interest to help her study for the boards, making knowledge questions as well as practical cases he had found on the web.

"Okay, we have this 2-year-old boy, his mother found him unconscious…" He started reading on Eleanor's tablet, but suddenly stopped as he saw Aurora approaching their table, "Hey Aurora! Coming to join the midnight study session?"

“No, thanks, Bryce,” Aurora replied, giving him a tiny smile, “Would you mind…? I need to speak to Eleanor. ”

Bryce looked from Eleanor to Aurora for a second and then nodded, “Oh, sure! She's all yours. Well, to speak to her she's all yours, we all know she's mine.”

“Oh my god, Goldie, just go!” Eleanor giggled, tilting her head as Bryce was leaning to kiss her.

“Text me if you need anything, okay?”

“I will, thank you, love.”

Once Bryce was out of sight, Eleanor turned to face Aurora, who was sitting across her with a serious expression on her face, “You wanted to talk?”

“Yes.”

Aurora sighed, and after several seconds of silence, she finally spoke, “Tobias talked to me yesterday.”

Oh fuck.

Eleanor never thought Tobias would speak to Aurora about what happened in Grace's apartment, several days ago now.

“Okay…”

“He apologized for what happened with Aunt Harper. For hiring me knowing I was her niece. He was also sorry I had found out.”

Eleanor nodded, feeling a pang of fear inside her.

“At first, I was so mad at you, Eleanor. So mad. Because you had no right to tell Tobias how I felt. That I knew the truth. It was something deeply personal.”

“I know, I know, and I'm… ”

“Let me finish, Eleanor.”

Eleanor, completely pale, shut her mouth and made a gesture with her hand as if she was fastening her mouth like a zipper.

“I was mad because I would never recognize in front of him how bad it hurt me his… scheme. That's why I never confronted in the first place.”

Aurora looked down at her hands, as if she was focusing on reliving those feelings.

Eleanor was rigid and terrified. She had betrayed her trust and who knew how much time it would take her to be forgiven for that, considering the story they had.

"But after a while I realized … I never knew how much I needed an apology until it happened."

Eleanor looked at Aurora, agape.

"Tobias told me he would've never realized how wrong was that if you hadn't told him. And when he thought about the pain he might have caused, he regretted doing it. He was sorry he made me believe I was just Harper Emery's niece when I'm much more than that."

Eleanor shook her head, regret washing over her features.

“Aurora I'm truly sorry for what I did. I knew at that moment it wasn't my business to tell him what had happened, but I couldn't act like everything was fine with him. He needed to face what was wrong, but it wasn't my call, it was yours.”

“Yeah, but I would've never taken it, and you knew it. I would've never done it because I thought the only thing I needed was to get over it, and forgive myself for stupidly falling for his lie.”

Aurora bit her lip before giving Eleanor a humorless smile, “But it turns out I shouldn't be blaming myself for something I didn't do. He was the one who used me, it was his fault, not mine. So when he apologized, I realized that. And that would've happened if you hadn't intervened.”

“Aurora…”

“I've spent my whole life blaming myself for trusting people who used me, but I've never been the problem. They are. People have never cared. Never cared to sincerely befriend me and never cared to apologize when they used me. So when Tobias apologized… it felt so good, because it let me stop blaming myself for that. It's not my fault.”

“Of course not, Aurora. It's their fault. It's their fault not being able to see the amazing person you are, the brilliant doctor you are, and all the incredible things you can do and give. So fuck them. ”

Aurora chuckled, "Fuck them. Except for Tobias. He looked really sorry for what he did so maybe there's a chance for him in the end."

“Yeah. He's not that bad. But I couldn't let myself like him when he had been an ass with you. ”

“Thank you for calling him out, and for defending me. Though I beg you to please don't this again. At least talk to me before going in the whole protective mode, okay?”

Eleanor took Aurora's hands in hers, and gave her the first genuine smile of the night, bright and wide, “I promise.”

“Good, now let's call Bryce to resume your study session with a little friendly competition.”

“Oh? Competing against Aurora Emery again? You're on!”

_____

Thank you so much for reading!!!

#playchoices #aurora emery #tobias carrick #open heart #open heart choices #oph3 #oph fic #oph fanfic #open heart fanfic #open heart fic

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orange-waterfalls · 5 years ago

Text

Then Leave

Yancy x gender neutral!reader

@spycii ty for the prompt!

A/N: holy shit this took so long lol. I suck at writing angst unless it's with my own characters,,, this is so very bad I'm sorry,,, also Yancy has anger issues apparently. Rated T for some cursing. Angst(?) w/fluff at the end. I'm sorry I can't write straight angst it's too much for me.

Word Count: 2k

---

Yancy was elated when you decided to stay with him. He'd been pretty interested in you since you showed up, and didn't want you going and breaking out. When you told him you were staying, he was happier than he had any right to be. Yes! He got to spend more time with yous! That's amazing!

The first few weeks were great. You two loved talking and hanging out. Yancy could sense the others were a bit jealous of you, but he really didn't care much. You were all he really needed. After about two months, he noticed you distancing yourself. You were keeping a space between you and him when you hung out, and not talking as much. Half a year had passed and you just stopped. You stopped talking, stopped actively hanging out with him, stopped acknowledging him. He was disappointed, to say the least. The other inmates started to be around him more, but he didn't pay any attention to them. He thought of different ways to get you back. He convinced one of the cooks to bake you a cake for your birthday. You seemed to appreciate the effort and started talking to him again. You talked to him about how you missed your family, and Yancy tried to convince you to not care about it.

"C'mon, yous has a new family! We're your family!" He consoled. "Yous needs to leave the past in the past." You smiled at him appreciatively. He loved it when you smiled. So when you stopped smiling altogether, he got worried. He told you about his worries, and you told him you were fine. He didn't believe you. To sell the fact that you were fine, you forced yourself to smile more often. He'd tell you a joke to make you feel better, and you'd smile at him. But he could tell it wasn't a real smile. It was a smile to make him feel better.

It didn't, really.

But he pretended like it did so you didn't have to worry.

You two would always meet out in the yard at the same time every day, but one day, you hadn't shown up. Yancy waited in you guys' spot for half an hour before thinking to look somewhere else. He started to go back inside when Bambam stopped him.

"Hi, Yancy!" He greeted happily. "How've you been?" Yancy smiled at him, slightly aggravated, not wanting to show it.

"Hey, Bambam. I've been alright," he answered. Bambam looked around.

"So, where's the new family member?" he asked. The fact that Bambam was stopping him from finding exactly who he was talking about angered Yancy. He knew you wouldn't want him to snap at his family, so he kept it to himself.

"That's what I was hoping to find out. They's been… upset lately…" he explained. Bambam frowned.

"Oh. What do you think the problem is?" He asked worried.

"I'm not sure…" Yancy sighed, "they's… talked about missing their family…" Bambam scratched his neck.

"You know, Yancy, they seemed pretty attached to their family… maybe it'd be better for them if they left…" he suggested. Yancy clenched his fists.

"No, it wouldn't. They like it here. They don't want to leave," he growled. Bambam stepped back at his violent tone, and Yancy walked past him and into the prison.

He wandered the halls, looking for you. You weren't in any of the places you two hung out. Finally, he checked your cell, where you've said you don't like going. You were there on the bed, curled up on your side in a fetal position. He sighed in relief and opened the door. You flinched as you heard the door creak. He walks into the cell quietly.

"There yous is! I was starting to get worried you'd taken parole." He joked. You didn't respond or even acknowledge he'd walked in. He stood there for a minute, not knowing what to do. Eventually he sighed.

"Ok, can yous just… tell me what's wrong? I've been worried about yous and… I'm not sure what to do about it… tell me?" You don't respond. "Please?" You sighed.

"I miss Mark." You said bluntly. Yancy stood there, not really knowing how to respond.

"Mark? Didn't he… you know… die? Or did he just… take parole? There's really nothing I can-"

"I miss Mark, I miss my friends, I miss my family…" you said, voice wavering. Yancy knits his eyebrows, not understanding what you want.

"So? I don't know what you want to-"

"I want to leave, Yancy." You finally turned to look at him and he saw your red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He frowned at you.

"Leave? But… you decided to stay!" He started to get angry. "Why would you want to leave?!" You stood up.

"Because I miss the people in my life Yancy!" You raised your voice at him.

"Then why did you stay?! Why haven't you broken out or taken parole or… or…" he was cut off by you.

"Because I'm in love with you, you fucking moron!" You yelled. He steps back at your accusing tone. In love… with him? That made him happy, but the tears flowing from your eyes destroyed that feeling and replaced it with guilt. "You love it here. You love your family. And I love you and I want you to be happy. So I stayed." You explain. "I had a family! I had people who loved me and now they don't even visit me! I am not happy! I haven't been happy in awhile! I want to leave!" Yancy stopped thinking clearly and blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"Then leave! Just fucking go, then!" He said, his voice venomous. You stare at him and compose yourself.

"Maybe I will."

And you did.

You broke out of the prison after two days. All the inmates were happy that you'd be with your people again, but they saw something was different with Yancy. He was more distant. More angry. He snapped at them a lot and made rude comments. Tiny decided that she was going to confront him about it. He had no right to do this to them. She was gonna march into his cell and give him a piece of her mind. That's what she'd do.

She walked into his cell and…

He was there. On his bed. Sobbing into his hands. She could see the tears seeping through his fingers.

And all her plans were flung out the window.

She tiptoed over and gently sat next to him. He flinched before turning away, wiping his face.

"What do you want?" He asked, attempting to sound tough. He just sounded sad. Tiny put a hand on his shoulder. He turned to her, looking at her hand weirdly. She sighed.

"What's the problem, Yancy?" She asked gently. He tried to glare at her, but his lip started quivering and he let out a sob, burying his face into his hands again. Tiny patted his back in an attempt to make him feel better.

"I miss them… I miss them so much…" he cried. Tiny frowned and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Yancy..." She began. She was going to try to convince him to get over you. But before she could, he just went on rambling on and on about everything he loved and missed about you. Your skin, your eyes, your smile…

She could tell this wasn't going away anytime soon.

"Yancy…" She sighed. "You need to make parole." Yancy looked up at her.

"W-What?"

"You need to be good. You need to not be seen as a threat anymore. You need to leave."

"But-"

"You love them. There's nothing you can do about that, except be with them."

"Tiny… I've done-"

"Yeah, yeah, bad things. You killed people. Yancy, I'll be honest, none of us really care about that. You're the only one. We think you deserve to be happy, and if being with them is how that's gonna happen, then so be it," She explained. Yancy was about to argue, but he thought about your face when he told you to leave, and he closed his mouth.

"Ok…"

He turned into the perfect prisoner. He did everything he was told, he didn't speak out of line, he worked as a cook in the cafeteria, he got rid of his shank. He eventually made parole. That was great, but he wasn't exactly sure where to go from there. How was he supposed to find you? He was on his way out when he saw the guy you came in with. What was his name… Mark? You had mentioned that you were roommates, so he figured this was his best chance. Yancy walked up to him and tapped his shoulder. He turned towards him, startled.

"Uh… hi? Can I help you?" He asked.

"Where do you live?"

"Pardon?"

"Sorry… I'm Yancy. I want to find your friend and… I figure… you would know where they live… since you live together…" he explained awkwardly. Mark stared at him for a moment.

"Why do you want to find them?" He asked, suspicious. Yancy blushed a bit and scratched his neck. Mark rolled his eyes before taking a piece of paper and writing an address on it. He handed Yancy the piece of paper.

"Knock when you get there." He explained. "You don't look like a serial killer… this may be a bad idea but… I suppose I can trust Y/N to take care of themselves. Besides, this year's already been weird as hell... I'm sure it'll be fine." Yancy nodded and thanked him. He asked his parole officer to take him to the address. On the ride there, he bounced his leg, anxious for what you'd say. Would you forgive him? Would you still be mad? Would you hate him? He'd deserve it…

"Here." The officer said as they parked near a house. Yancy nodded and got out of the car, approaching the house. He stopped at the door and raised his fist to knock. He stopped, suddenly realizing that he'd rather not have you tell him he wasn't worth a visit every three weeks. He slowly lowered his arm to his side and sighed. He turned back towards the cop car and-

click

"Yancy?"

creak

Yancy spun back around to look at the door, where you were standing. You looked… better than in the prison. Less tired. Less sad.

"Hey! How's it going?" He asked nervously. You weren't smiling, you weren't asking a bunch of questions about him, you didn't seem very interested in him or what he was doing there. That made him nervous. He shifted in his spot. You both were silent for a moment. You crossed your arms and took a breath.

"I thought… I thought you liked prison, Yance." He smiled at the nickname.

"Oh, uh… I…" he swallowed, his throat dry. "I-I like yous a little more than I do prison…" you stared at him. He shuffled his feet. You sighed.

"Yancy…"

"Ok, look. I know I messed up. I know. But I want to make it right, and I want to be with yous." You raised an eyebrow.

"Be with me… as in…?"

"Dating. Yes." He said quickly. You tap your arm.

"Yancy… I don't…" you start. He can feel his heart shattering already. "You're the one who told me to leave the past in the past… that's what I was doing with the prison." You explained.

"Well… maybe… since I'm in yous' present… I can be part of your future!"

"What?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Yancy…" you started. He looked at you hopefully. You sighed. "I'll… think about it."

"Oh… right, sure…"

"You have a place to stay, right?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm good."

"Ok, good."

"Yeah… well…bye" he turned back towards the police car and started walking. You stood at the doorway, watching him. You bit your lip before taking a breath.

"Yancy!" You called. He spun back towards you. You grin slightly. "Let's get coffee sometime." His eyes widened.

"O-Okay! Sure!" He agreed. You closed your door. He got back into the police car, smiling widely.

"So…" the officer started. Yancy turned to him.

"Hm?"

"That was the most Hallmark thing I've ever seen…"

"Shut up…"

"Seriously! That looked so cliche!"

"SHUT. UP."

"I thought I was about to hear some romantic violin,"

"Please just drive…"

GOD this SUCKS I'm so sorry

#ahwm #ahwm yancy #a heist with markiplier #a heist with markiplier yancy #yancy #yancy iplier #yancy the prisoner #yancy x reader #yancy x male!reader #yancy x female!reader #yancy x gender neutral!reader #yancy x y/n #male reader #female reader #gender neutral reader

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returnn-of-the-mac · 5 years ago

Note

Thank you so much for the CFS reaction! I got one last ask before I quit bugging you (I'm greedy, I know). How bout companions in an Art vs Art situation, but it's synth, and human Sol? How would they identify the real Sole, and what do thet do with the synth? Thanks for all this, it means a lot to me! xx

You’re not bugging me in the slightest; I love writing reactions! I always get excited when i get a new request—the more, the merrier! Please enjoy!😊

oh yeah side note: i usually like to make “silent soles” so you can lut yourself in their shoes, but i kinda had to give Sole dialogue in this one.

FO4 Companions React: Real Sole vs Synth Sole

Sole and their companion were leaving Walden Pond when they noticed a person nearby. A person who looked identical to Sole. The pair approached the individual, and the two Soles began bickering about who the “real [name]” was:

Hancock

“I’m too sober to deal with this right now,” Hancock stated, “I’m just gonna hit some Daddy-O real quick

“Take your time,” Sole 1 stated.

“Don’t you dare, Hancock,” Sole 2 warned, “You know how you get with that Daddy-O shit.”

Hancock immediately took out his knife and stabbed Sole 1. He approached Sole 2, the real Sole.

“Can’t have two of you running around. I can barely manage one,” Hancock teased. “Imagine all the trouble two of you would cause…I’m glad you don’t have a twin!”

Piper:

“Oh jeez. Why do these kinda things always have to happen to us?” Piper complained. She thought for a moment and then had an idea. “Hey! The real [name] would know the special nickname I gave them. What is it?”

Sole 1 blinked. “Uh…buddy?”

Sole 2 smirked, “Blue. Because I lived in Vault 111.”

Piper beamed. “Ding ding! We have winner,” she exclaimed. She looked at synth Sole.

“So you’re the synth, huh? You got nowhere to go?” Piper thought for a moment. “I would let you crash at my place in Diamond City, but if word gets out that you’re a synth…I don’t even want to think about it.”

Sole 1 frowned.

“How about you come with us for now, okay? We’ll get you situated.” Piper promised.

Gage:

“Oh damn. Oh shit. I‘m no good at these find the difference games,” Gage panicked. He then had an idea. He quickly adjusted his fingers and threw his hands in the air.

“What’s going on?” Sole 1 asked.

Sole 2 did another hand motion and Gage smiled. He looked at the fake Sole.

“Gang signs, ya poser.” Gage explained just before gunning down Sole 1.

Gage then shifted his attention to Sole 2, “And ya said these signs were stupid. I sure showed ya, didn’t I?

Danse:

Danse looked back and forth between the two Soles. “I’ll return momentarily,” the Paladin began, “I’m going to find Cutler

and get his opinion. He has a good eye for these kinds of situations.”

“Should I wait here, or do you want me to come with you?” Sole 1 inquired.

“Isn’t Cutler…” Sole 2 hesitated, mindful of their companion’s PTSD, “…not…not alive right now?”

Danse whipped out his laser rifle and vaporized Sole 1. The real Sole smiled and approached the Paladin.

“I knew you would catch on, soldier.” Danse commented, “You’re much sharper than that synthetic vermin.”

Preston:

“This is tough…you both look the same,” Preston hesitated, “But I need to pick the right one. Marshal, can you help me out?”

“No problem Preston,” Sole 1 began, “I have been there for you and the Minutemen through thick and thin. Always fighting for the people. It would be a shame if you lost all of that by shooting me instead of that imposter over there.”

“Marshal?” Sole 2 asked, “Did I get a promotion?”

Preston immediately stared at Sole 1. “You’re the imposter,” Preston said, “Now what?”

He thought for a moment and then nodded. “Would you like to join the Minutemen?” He asked the synth. Sole 1 nodded. “Excellent. You can follow us back to Sanctuary Hills and we’ll get you acquainted with everyone over there.”

Nick:

“Alright, synth. Let’s see how sly you really are,” Nick challenged, “Give this old detective a run for his money.”

Nick approached the two Soles and scanned them. After about two minutes of careful examination, the detective walked up to the synth Sole.

“You’re the synth,” He stated plainly, “You have one of two options: live an honest life and don’t cause trouble for the sake of my friend here, or die right here, right now.”

Sole 1 shuttered, “The first option. I won’t cause any problems—I promise!”

Nick solemnly nodded, “Then you’re free to go.”

The panicked synth swiftly ran off into the distance.

Sole stared at Nick in disbelief and the detective chuckled.

“The Institute sure is good at making carbon copies of people‘s physical appearance. Fortunately, they haven’t quite nailed replicating idiosyncrasies yet,” Nick smirked, “I know you never take that wedding ring off. Your clone over there didn’t get the memo, apparently.”

Cait:

“God dammit, these synths are sneaky little rats, aren’t they?” Cait studied the two Soles and scratched her head, “I can’t deal with this shite right now. I’m goin to take a hit of psycho.”

“Wait, Cait! Hold on,” Sole 1 pleaded. “This doesn’t have to be hard. I swear, I’m the real [name]!”

“Why?” Sole cried in frustration, “We just busted our asses getting you cleaned up in Vault 95 and you’re just going to throw it all away?”

Cait took put her shot gun and shot Sole 2. She approached the real Sole, who now looked distraught. She looked at them sympathetically.

“I would never, darlin. It was just a test. And you passed,” she reassured, “I’m sorry for hurtin ye like that.”

MacCready

“Two [names], huh? This is gonna be fun,” MacCready smirked and held out his hand, “My most prized possession. Give it to me.”

Sole 1 scratched their head as Sole 2 promptly placed a toy soldier in MacCready’s hand.

“Thank you, friend,” MacCready beamed, looking at Sole 2. He then whipped out his gun, “And goodnight imposter,” he stated, sniping Sole 1 in the forehead.

He walked over to the real Sole and smiled, “I hope you didn’t think I wouldn’t be able to tell the two of you apart. I could’ve figured it out even without the soldier.”

X6-88:

X6 looked at Sole 1, then at Sole 2.

“Alpha-9-3-Beta.”

Sole 1 immediately collapsed, and Sole whipped their head to look at their companion.

X6 approached them. “I’m a professional Courser, [sir/ma’am]. You don’t have to worry about rouge synths fooling me.”

Deacon:

“Two’s a crowd!” Deacon exclaimed, “Guess it’s time for comedy hour!” He dramatically cleared his throat: “Two Brotherhood of Steel soldiers are sitting in a tank,” he began.

Sole 1 looked interested in the joke, while Sole 2 rolled their eyes.

“One soldier tells the other: BLUB BLUB GLUB BLUB GLUB. The other soldier drowns.”

Sole 1 immediately started laughing while Sole 2 shots daggers at Deacon.

Deacon knew instantly who was whom. He pulled out his gun and aimed at Sole 1, “Sayonara!” He shouted.

Sole 1 braced for impact, but nothing happened. They looked at Deacon.

“I’m just messin with ya,” he began, “As long as you promise not to go screwing up my pal’s reputation, I don’t have any reason to kill you. In fact, you could probably be a valuable member of the Railroad if you wanted to join our cause.”

Sole 1 nodded and Deacon grinned.

“Great! Why don’t you start heading down to the Old North Church then. There should be a secret door and the password is Railroad. Let them know Deacon sent ya.”

As soon as Sole 1 left, Deacon looked at the real Sole with a goofy smiled plastered across his face. “Now back to what we were talkin about before…I know you’re a huge fan of my jokes. Wanna hear another one?”

Strong:

“Why two human?” Strong asked, scratching his head. “Was only one this morning.”

“That’s because they're a faker.” Sole 1 said, pointing an accusing finger at Sole 2.

“Shut up. No you’re not. I am!” Sole 1 retorted.

“Human fight with clone. Yes. Interesting.” Strong commented, “But Strong want to smash clone.”

The Sole’s were silent for a moment before Strong spoke again.

“Human know this. Who Strong’s favorite au-thor?”

“You don’t read…do you?” Sole 1 asked.

“William Shakespeare.” Sole 2 answered confidently.

“That real human,” Strong said, pointing at Sole 2. “Goodnight, clone,” Strong stated as he bashed the synth with his super sledge.

Curie:

“Oh my…” Curie mused, looking back and forth between the two Soles, “I…I don’t know who’s who!”

“I’m the real [name]!” Sole 1 pressed, “How can you not tell the two of us apart? We’re best friends”

“[He/She]’s lying!” Sole 2 swore, “I’m the real one!”

Curie frantically looked back and forth between the two Soles when she suddenly had an idea.

“Both of you turn around and lift up your shirt.”

The two Sole’s obeyed and Curie examined their backs. Sole 1’s back was smooth, but covered with a few cuts and bruises. Sole 2’s back was also slightly bruised and cut, but unlike Sole 1, they had a large, stitched up laceration that ran from one rib to the other. It was an injury they had received upon fighting a Mirelurk King with Curie.

She approached Sole 2. “You, you’re the real [name]! I’m so glad I was able to tell.” She then looked at Sole 1. “It must be fun looking like one of the most fascinating people in the Commonwealth.” Curie remarked. “But we can’t have you running around and pretending to be [name]. I’m so sorry…”

“Wait,” Sole 1 pled, “I won’t cause any problems. You have my word.”

Curie smiled. “Well, I’m glad! If you promise you won’t do evil, you are free to go!”

Sole 1 thanked Curie and Sole for sparing them as they rushed away.

Longfellow:

“I am one confused sea cucumber right now,” Longfellow stated, scratching his head, “I’m too old for this shit. Dammit, [name], why would you do this to a senile old man?”

The two Sole’s stared at Longfellow.

“Only one way to find out who the real deal is,” Longfellow pulled a fiddle out from seemingly nowhere and began to sing:

“Oooooh-! What you’re gonna do with a drunken sailor?

What you’re gonna do with a drunken sailor?

What you’re gonna do with a drunken sailor…?”

Sole one raised an eyebrow while Sole 2 beamed.

“Early in the morning!” The latter finished.

Longfellow smiled and shot the synth Sole to the ground. He then approached his real companion.

“I know that’s your favorite sea shanty, [lad/lassy]!” He exclaimed, “My pleasure to have rid the world of your evil clone.”

Ada:

“The two of you look identical. It’s going to be hard to tell who the imposter is, but I have an idea.” Ada declared. She suddenly lit up and projected an image onto the ground. It appeared to be an empty checkbox with the words I am not a robot written next to it.

“This high-tech projection is touch-sensitive,” Ada explained, “So who is going to try to check the box first?”

Sole 1 stepped forward. They tapped the box with their foot and nothing happened. They then tried again with their hand. They then stomped on it, and jumped on it. The box would not check.

“This stupid thing isn’t a touch screen!” Sole 1 complained, “Don’t lie!”

Just then Sole 2 stepped up. They lightly tapped the box and a check appeared.

“That answers our question, then.” Ada declared. “It looks like she is the real human being. I am sorry.”

Sole 1 slumped a bit, “Now what?”

Ada thought for a moment. “Well, I think I know someone who could use some company. Her name is Isabel Cruz. She should be located at the Robotics Technology Facility in East Boston.”

“Thank you,” Sole 1 stated, as they turned and ran away.

Codsworth

“Oh bother…” Codsworth mumbled, looking back and forth between the two Soles, “you both look completely identical.”

“It’s me, I’m the real [name]!” Sole 1 shouted.

“No, I am!” Sole 2 hollered back.

The two continued to bicker until Codsworth spoke again, “Only the real [name] would know the answer to this question!”

The two Soles perked up.

“What name did the [hubby/wife] insist on giving me before you settled on Codsworth?”

Sole 2 immediately answered, rolling her eyes at the memory “Mr. BB-8 But Floating and British.”

“Correct!” Codsworth cheered. He then turned to Sole 1. “I’m not going to harm you, [sir/ma’am] so long as you do not cause any trouble in [name]’s body.

The synth hastily nodded and ran away.

Codsworth then floated over to the real Sole. “You know, I never really did have the chance to properly thank you for changing my…unique name,” he stayed, shuttering, “So thank you. I am very grateful.”

#fallout 4 #fallout #fo4 #danse #paladin danse #deacon #hancock #maccready #piper #curie #ada #strong #codsworth #longfellow #gage #porter gage #nick valentine #x6 #x6 88 #synth #react

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smileyoongle · 5 years ago

Text

Tsundere BTS! IDFC: In love with the best friend (Song Edition)

Alright so I discussed the need for BTS as tsunderes with someone and I suddenly got an idea. Please please please forgive me if any of it isn't accurate cause this was my first attempt so.... LET'S GET IT?!

Also this Imagine is based on the song IDFC by Blackbear. If you haven't heard it then please do cause it's so good.

Kim Seokjin:

Tell me pretty lies, look me in the face. Tell me that you love me, even if it's fake. Cause I don't fucking care...at all.

Jin cursed under his breath when you wrapped your hands around his arm and leaned your head on his shoulder. It would have been normal if you were his girlfriend. But you weren't. You were his best friend who had a boyfriend. And he was tired of it.

Tired of not being your boyfriend. Tired of hearing you cry only to end up going back to that bastard who just didn't know how to treat you right. Tired of pretending that he didn't have feelings for you. He wasn't good at showing his emotions anyway but he probably would have made an effort if he had a chance with you. But he didn't.

At this point, he just wanted you to tell him that you loved him. Even if it was a lie.

At this point, he just wanted you to look at him the way he looked at you. Even if you were imagining someone else at that moment.

He just didn't care, desperation had become his best friend lately.

"He took me for a long drive but it ended shortly. He got a call from Lila and she sounded hurt so he had to go look aft-" he scoffed at your words, earning a frown from you. He knew Lila very well, the campus it-girl who loved waking up in everyone else's bed but hers. She had tried seducing Jin too but it definitely didn't work on him. The cold wind made you shiver as you stopped walking beside Jin and crossed your arms, glaring at him. He rolled his eyes and turned to you. "Why did you react like that?" You asked, tilting your head to the side. With a sigh, Jin took off his coat and proceeded to place it on your shoulder. "Can't have you falling sick when your boyfriend clearly needs you, right?" He mocked, looking at you with the same cold eyes that you saw every day. You shook your head in confusion, frowning even more if that was even possible.

"And to answer your question, how else do you want me to react, Y/N? Honestly, I'm out of things to say when you keep talking about him whenever we meet. He doesn't fucking care about you. Lila is not a damsel in distress and you know that. If you don't then you're even more naïve than I thought." He stated, immediately regretting his words when he saw the tears building up in your eyes. You glanced down at your shoes and bit your lip before wiping away a tear that escaped your eye. "You talk as if you're so much better. Every time that I try to talk to you, all I get are vague replies. You don't care either, Jin! I really thought I could put up with your distant and cold self but it's hard an-" you explained, your voice cracking in the middle but Jin cut you off.

"Then leave."

As soon as you heard those words, your mind went blank. "What?" You whispered, looking at him with wide eyes. Jin's heart was tearing apart at how upset you seemed. But he couldn't do it any more. He wanted you more than just a best friend. 5 years of hidden feelings had too many consequences. But he knew it had to be done. "I don't want your friendship, Y/N. Don't mean to sound like a selfish ass but I want what he has. And he has you. And since you're very much happy with him fucking around then I can't stand by the sidelines and watch you get played. So do us both a favour and leave." Jin said, his voice sounding more and more distant as you watched him walk away. You pulled his coat tightly around you, telling yourself that everything was gonna be okay.

But were you gonna be okay?

____________________________________________

Kim Namjoon:

You're slurring all your words, not making any sense. But I don't fucking care...at all.

Your hands were lightly wrapped around Namjoon's as he rested his head on the palm of his other hand. Faint snores rang through the room as the sun began to rise, reminding him that he needed to get some shut-eye.

He couldn't believe that he had pulled an all-nighter just to take care of a drunk you.

The you, that had unwantedly confessed to him that you were, indeed, in love with him. Right after the words left your mouth, his mind went blank and his heart kept pounding. He tried so hard to keep himself calm while putting you to bed, trying to pry yourself off of him while you pouted and accused him of not loving you back.

Little did you know....

It had been too long. Namjoon didn't even remember when he first started having feelings for you. But it had definitely been too long. He wasn't the best at this. People avoided him because he looked rude. But to you, he was your best friend that you adored beyond description.

Namjoon tried to sleep but that seemed like an impossible task. He just wanted to sit and admire you while telling himself that you were drunk and you didn't know what you were saying. But his conscience was screaming at him. Because drunk words are sober thoughts.

Namjoon let his fingers rest on your cheek, smiling when you leaned into them unconsciously. But that smile disappeared just as it came when you opened your eyes, instantly wincing due to the terrible headache you had. With panic rising in his chest, Namjoon flicked at your cheek making you yelp. You glared at him while rubbing your forehead and your cheek simultaneously. "What the hell, Joon?!" You exclaimed, whimpering after. Namjoon returned your glare and grabbed the pills he had placed on the nightstand along with a glass of water. Handing them to you, he stood up and started to leave the room, stopping on hearing your voice.

"Okay, am I dreaming? Because by now I would have thrown myself out the window after hearing your lecture about 'Bad decisions and their consequences'." You stated, making quotation marks in the air. Namjoon frowned and turned around, glancing at the empty glass by your side.

"I don't feel the need to lecture you. You're a grown woman who can make her own decisions." He replied, making you frown in confusion. This was not how Namjoon reacted. He always told you how childish you were and only a miracle could change that thought of his. But the truth was, Namjoon couldn't say anything to you after your confession. Mostly because he didn't regret anything and also you weren't aware of what you had said.

"Did I...say something last night?" You asked, hoping to find out why Namjoon was acting this way. His eyes widened momentarily but you didn't notice.

It was really simple, actually. Or at least that's what Namjoon thought. There was no way that he could hold your words against you when they were said in the wrong situation. He cared about you but he was also afraid that you would laugh it off. That would probably hurt the most. He was willing to wait until you said it as if you meant it but if that never happened, he was also willing to forget his feelings, if that was possible.

"No. Now get ready. It's your turn to make breakfast today." And so he left, leaving your heart in pieces. But you didn't blame him.

You didn't blame him for not knowing that you were sober and it was an act. You didn't blame him for not knowing that your words were honest and sincere. You didn't blame him for not wanting you back.

You just didn't blame him.

____________________________________________

Min Yoongi:

Cause I have hella feelings for you. I act like I don't fucking care, like they ain't even there.

Damp hair and damp clothes. Smeared mascara and tear stained cheeks. A wreck is what you were. And the sobs leaving your mouth only added to your misery.

It was raining heavily and you were positive that you would have fallen sick by now if it weren't for Yoongi, who was holding an umbrella over your crying figure while standing in the rain himself. But you didn't notice because you were too busy loathing over being stood up on a date that you had with a guy who had flirted with you for over a month. It was definitely heartbreaking for you, but it was even more heartbreaking for Yoongi, because he had to watch his best friend cry over an asshole when he could've done something about it But this wasn't about him. This was about you.

So he let you cry your heart out as you sat on the concrete with your knees pulled up to your chest, shivering occasionally.

Yoongi had to watch you smile at your phone for a month. He had to listen to your late night conversations on the phone through the thin walls of your shared house. He had to help you dress up for a guy who didn't deserve you. A guy that wasn't him. And there was nothing more painful than that.

"Wh-why me?" You stammered, hiccups making their way through your lips. You had been crying for too long. You didn't even remember when you called Yoongi to pick you up, only to end up breaking down in the middle of the footpath. You didn't even remember when he got there or when the rain stopped hitting you because he placed his only umbrella above you.

Yoongi's heart broke even more on hearing your voice. It held so much pain, he wished he could take it away. "Get up." He ordered, his voice wavering a little. You looked up at him, frowning and sniffling at his sudden coldness. But you were used to it. Because you knew Min Yoongi like no one else. So you obliged, holding onto his arm as you almost fell down due to how exhausted you felt. You gasped lightly on seeing your best friend's drenched state. His lips were almost pale, making you feel guilty about being such a crybaby. "Tomorrow morning, the first thing you are doing is coming with me to that bastard's dorm. And when we reach there, you better slap him with all you've got, do you understand?" He asked, anger evident in his tone. You smiled slightly after hearing his words. And there was no need for you to ask him why. The answer was already before you, so you nodded.

"Good. Now let's go home and get you out of these ridiculous clothes. You look better in hoodies anyway." He stated, grabbing your hand and pulling you behind him. The warmth that ran through Yoongi when he held your hand was unfathomable. It just felt too comforting. He wished to hold your hand forever but that seemed impossible at the moment. He thought he was just your best friend and you'd never take it further than that.

Which is why he did it. Probably his most stupid decision but he did it anyway. He set up a date for himself with your friend, the one who clearly liked him. Not like you would be bothered anyway, right?

"Will you spend the entire day with me? Tomorrow?" He broke out of his thoughts on hearing your voice. He was buckling your seatbelt for you already. Your eyes skimmed over his lost expression. Something was on his mind.

"I can't. I have a date tomorrow. But we could do something after I get back." He replied, turning the engine on and pulling onto the road. You couldn't tell why but your heart felt like it was being ripped out of your chest. Obviously, he had his own life. He couldn't just be there for you whenever you wanted. Strangely, it hurt more than being stood up. Blinking rapidly, you tried to get rid of the tears filling your eyes again. Your eyes closed as you wondered if you had lost your only chance at happiness.

Wondering if you'd lost the only person who thought you were enough.

_____________________________________________

Jung Hoseok:

Cause I have hella feelings for you. I act like I don't fucking care, cause I'm so fucking scared.

You know, the nervous and anxious feeling that you get when you do something you've never done before, that makes you wanna run away? That's exactly how Hoseok felt, dry throat and clammy hands. It was as if he was gonna pass out but he couldn't afford to do that. Dance lessons for the day had just ended.

Which meant, time to talk to you.

Grabbing his water bottle, he watched as all the students left the room, leaving him alone with you. You, the best friend of the absolutely talented but misunderstood Jung Hoseok. He had first met you in this very room, when you had decided to join dance lessons to take your mind off of things. And now here you were, three years and an amazing friendship. A friendship that Hoseok was sure he was gonna ruin.

Taking in a deep breath, he walked towards where you were sprawled out on the floor, lying down in the same position beside you.

It had been precisely two years and 4 months since Hoseok had realised his feelings for you. No matter what he did, you were the only thing on his mind and he just couldn't imagine his life without you. Too much pain.

"I have to tell you something." He stated, staring at the white ceiling. He could feel your eyes on him but he couldn't bring himself to look into them, afraid he'd mess up his speech. "Me too." You replied, smiling at him even though he couldn't see it. You were beyond excited to see his reaction on hearing what you have to say. With a frown, Hoseok turned his head towards you, wondering if you had to say something more important. "You first." He urged, making you nod. You sat up straight and tucked your feet beneath your butt, biting your lower lip harshly.

"I like someone."

The words made Hoseok wanna throw up. His heart was beating faster and his breathing was becoming heavier. Side effects of a broken heart. He immediately sat up and turned away from you, not wanting you to see the distress on his face.

He couldn't even remember how many times this had happened to him before. Being rejected for someone else. It made him feel suffocated. He wasn't expecting you to do the same. After 2 years of preparing himself, this was definitely not what he wanted. He was scared of being in love but you made it seem like it was beautiful. How stupid of him to have let his guard down.

"Hobi, are you okay?" Your soft voice brought him out of his agony. His head was starting to hurt and he hadn't even noticed the tear that had fallen down his cheek. Quickly wiping it away, he stood up and rushed to grab his bag. "Fine." He mumbled, not wanting to talk to you anymore. It was a mistake and he had to fix it. He was better off without you anyway.

Seeing him walking out the door, you couldn't help but feel like things were going wrong when they weren't supposed to. It was supposed to be a simple beginning to a simple love story. You were going to confess to Hoseok and he was gonna say he felt the same. But for some reason, the words were stuck inside your throat.

"You had to say something too." You said, sighing in relief as he stopped in his tracks. After a minute of silence, he finally spoke. "I won't be coming here anymore. Don't waste your time trying to keep in touch with me. I really don't care."

You fell on your knees just as he left, your vision becoming blurry as painful tears filled your eyes. You clutched at your chest with a gasp because it hurt. It hurt too much to fix it. Everything went so wrong so fast. And you didn't even know what to do. Yes, he was cold at times but he did care. Or at least that's what you thought. You lay on the wooden floor, sobbing and complaining about how unfair this was.

About how love broke you.

___________________________________________

Park Jimin:

I'm only a fool for you. And maybe you're too good for me.

Hiding behind his stack of books, Jimin tilted his head to take a look at the entrance of the library. The doors were still closed, indicating that no one had come through yet. But Jimin knew it was only minutes until you barge in through those doors in search of him to help you with your upcoming test.

Jimin hated that you only needed him for studies or when you had to cry your eyes out over some boy who broke your heart. That's all he was. A second choice. And for some twisted reasons, he had ended up falling in love with you. His heart kept screaming at him that it was wrong. Because you were the popular girl and he was just the campus nerd. There was no way there could be something between you two.

Just like he'd predicted, the doors to the library opened and you walked in, glancing at the huge room to look for your best friend. Jimin sighed as he watched you disappear between a couple shelves, only to scare him by suddenly jumping at him from behind. "And what's my cute bean busy with?" You chirped, taking a seat beside him and chuckling on hearing his groan.

"I'm not cute." He stated, rolling his eyes and closing the book that was in front of him. You couldn't tell but Jimin's heart was pounding just because you were sitting too close to him. "Whatever you say, hotstuff!" You shrugged and placed your cheek on the palm of your hand, resting your elbow on the table. With another shake of his head, he shoved all his books in his bag and zipped it shut. Pushing his chair behind him, Jimin stood up and walked towards the exit as you followed him while holding his arm with both of your hands.

"Jiminie, I need your help." You said, pouting at him and batting your lashes. A frown etched itself on your face when Jimin raised his eyebrows and turned to you.

"Tell me something I don't know."

Your jaw dropped in surprise as you stopped in your track, looking at Jimin in disbelief as he continued to walk out of the campus.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" You yelled, chasing after him as he laughed softly at how offended you were. Just as you caught up to him, he pursed his lips, hiding all traces of the laughter he had just emitted. "Just tell me what you need, Y/N." He urged, squinting when the bright sunlight hit his face on stepping out of the campus. He heard you huffed beside him, growing a little concerned for you. Maybe you were really in trouble th-

"I need you to come on a date with me..."

He choked on his own saliva and turned to you with wide eyes. Did he really just hear you say that?

"... actually a double date."

Jimin shut his eyes and took in a deep breath before chuckling bitterly to himself. Of course, it was a double date. How could he even think otherwise? The thought of you going on a date with someone made his heart ache. This wasn't the first time but he still wasn't used to it. He could never get used to seeing you go out with someone who wasn't him. "No." He mumbled, quickening his pace towards where his car was parked. You whined and ran behind him, confused as to why he just rejected you. You had never heard Jimin say no to you for anything before. "Oh come on, it will be fun. My friend is bringing her boyf-" you started to convince him, only to be cut off when he let out a loud groan.

You knew this was a bad idea. Jimin would never actually agree to go on a date with you. You were only his best friend who he tolerated to no extent. Yes, sometimes you used him for different purposes but that was only because you wanted a reason to be by his side all the time.

"I said no, Y/N. Don't make me say something you don't wanna hear because you know I can. So please go and find someone else to play with. I'm done being your pet."

Ouch.

Jimin was so consumed by his thoughts that he didn't even listen to what you were trying to say. He just knew that he couldn't be in a one sided love story anymore. So he made it clear to you, not even sparing you a glance as he drove off. He didn't know what he had done. Because love is blind.

And so is pain.

____________________________________________

Kim Taehyung:

I'm only a fool for you. But I don't fucking care...at all.

The party had ended after the fight between your boyfriend and Taehyung. They both had mercilessly kicked and punched each other as if their lives depended on it. Taehyung couldn't explain the anger that he felt after hearing your boyfriend's disgusting comments about you. This wasn't the kind of disrespect that you deserved and he wanted you to know that. For years, he had tried to keep you away from boys who only wanted you for sex. In his eyes, no one could love you like he did. But this time, he had failed.

You pulled your hair in frustration and walked towards the front door. Everyone had left, including your boyfriend. You were mad and confused because of how the night turned out. The fight took you by surprise because you didn't think there was any bad blood between Taehyung and your boyfriend. Actually, no, you didn't think anyone could have any problems with Taehyung. Firstly, because he didn't really talk to many people and came off as an introvert. And secondly, he was the most loving person in this entire world. But then again, no one knew him as you did. Even though he never told you, you knew just how much he cared about you.

That wasn't the only thing though. Before leaving, your boyfriend had told you to stay away from your best friend. Why? Because he had feelings for you. And for some reason, your heart fluttered. You sighed on seeing Taehyung sitting on the front porch of your house and approached him.

Taehyung noticed you sitting beside him. He was currently debating with himself whether he should let you in on his feelings or not. Because there was definitely a possibility that you would change your mind about your boyfriend.

Maybe you'd leave him to be with Taehyung.

The thought made him giddy but anxious. "Tae, what was that back there?" You asked softly. The light from inside the house illuminated his face a little, making him look even more ethereal than before. "He talked shit about you," Taehyung replied, clenching his jaw on remembering the exact words. You couldn't bring yourself to defend your boyfriend. You believed your best friend. It warmed your heart to think that he protected you, like always.

"If you think I did this for you then stop assuming. I...I.... nevermind I did it for you." Taehyung slumped in defeat. He didn't want you to think he was weak for you but he didn't know what to say without making you upset either. You chuckled and leaned your head on his shoulder as he smiled softly. The cool air made you feel cold and you pouted while rubbing your arms to keep them warm, failing eventually. You grabbed taehyung's arm and placed it around your shoulder. His breath hitched and a blush crept up his cheek. "Tae, I have a ques-" before you could ask him, he answered.

"I like you, Y/N."

You lifted your head from his shoulder and looked at him. His face was so close to yours, you could kiss him. You could kiss him and forget all about your current relationship. You could be happy with someone you've known all your life. You could-

"I have a boyfriend, Tae."

The words were out before you could stop them. You wanted to jump off a cliff on seeing the hurt expression on taehyung's face. You had just broken your best friend's heart. The best friend that you probably liked. Taehyung immediately stood up and started walking towards his car. He couldn't see your face anymore. All this time he was thinking that maybe you'd realize that your boyfriend was a heartless bastard. Maybe you'd realize that someone could love you more. But no, you were still reminding him of why you couldn't be with him. He was a fool to think that you would give him a chance. Your voice called out to him but he didn't turn.

He didn't wanna stand by you anymore.

____________________________________________

Jeon Jungkook:

You've been out all night, I don't know where you've been.

Jungkook threw the phone across the room in anger, wincing internally on thinking about the damage that could have happened. He had tried calling you about 30 times but you hadn't picked up. It worried him a lot since he had absolutely no idea where you had gone even though you did tell him it was a girls' night out. You had never stayed out until 3 before so Jungkook thought there must have been something wrong.

You and Jungkook were housemates, mostly because you both were best friends but also to help with the expenses. College had treated you both well so far. Jungkook was the golden boy while you were just another average girl living her best life. You had to admit that a part of you actually really liked Jungkook but you figured it was wrong so you buried those feelings away. And Jungkook? He had realised the extent of his feelings only after he had seen another notoriously popular playboy hitting on you. It made Jungkook so pissed that he ended up punching Trevor while threatening him to stay away from you.

Because you were the most innocent and beautiful girl he had ever met. Your eyes, the curve of your nose, your plump lips, your soft skin and your long hair. Every single thing about you became a reason for Jungkook to fall harder. The distant but popular hottie of the college was hopelessly in love with his best friend. And she didn't know.

Loud music and cheers of people grabbed jungkook's attention as he rushed to the window in the living room, only to see you walking beside the very playboy who Jungkook had punched, Trevor Marshall. You smiled at him as his friends cheered at him from his car, oblivious to the person waiting for you inside your humble abode.

You flinched as soon as you opened the door to the house. Jungkook stood in front of you with his arms crossed, his eyes glaring at you with sheer intensity. You were about to greet him but then you remembered what Trevor had told you so you returned his glare and shut the door behind you.

"What was Trevor doing here?" Jungkook asked, making you shiver on hearing his voice. You gulped but composed yourself and dropped your coat on the floor after taking it off. Jungkook's eyes raked over your body. A skin tight dress hugged your body and showed off your curves in all the right places. How did he not notice what you wearing before you left the house? Oh right! The coat. "Dropping me off. What else? Oh and by the way, he told me something very interesting." You mocked, brushing past his shoulder and into the living room, not catching his eyes on your hips. Jungkook gritted his teeth and followed you. He was absolutely not worried about you knowing what he did to that stupid asshole. "What did he say?" Jungkook asked, watching as you stood in the middle of the room with your hands on your hips.

"You punched him and told him to stay away from me. What the hell, Jeon? You think you can do whatever you want with my life when you have girls throwing themselves at you?!" You bellowed, your chest rising and falling rapidly with how breathless you felt. At this point, Jungkook was equally mad at you. You were talking as if he wanted that life. "I'm protecting you, Y/N! I know that guy better than you and all he wants is to get in-" Jungkook hated being interrupted and that's exactly what you were doing. This was only riling him up more.

"All this time, I thought something was wrong with me but it was you. You kept everyone away from me. Why, Jungkook? Why?!"

"Because I'm falling for you harder and harder everyday!"

Your breath hitched and silence took over. Jungkook mentally cursed at himself for acting this way. He should've known better than to say this. Judging by your expression, it was clear that you definitely didn't think the same.

Misunderstandings.

These were the very words that you wanted to hear so badly. It made you feel all warm and fuzzy. But all of it went as soon as it came upon hearing your best friend's next words. "But don't worry, Y/N. I'll just take this burden off of you. Go and do whatever the fuck you want. I was stupid to think you'd appreciate this. But now I won't bother you. Don't come crying to me though. Because right from this moment, I don't fucking care what you do with your life." He spat and rushed to his room, slamming the door shut as tears filled in your eyes. Jungkook knew that he was too harsh. He always regretted the things he said when he was angry. How did things go from right to wrong so fast? How did you get confessed to and rejected at the same time? You sat on the couch and ended up crying yourself to sleep, your thoughts consuming you in an endless abyss.

How did love embrace you only to tear you apart?

Well, I kinda messed up some of the members but... can't blame me for trying, right? Anyway, I know my requests are closed but you can absolutely send in song requests too. Give me a song and I'll write what I interpret out of it's lyrics. Alright, goodbye!

-XX

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