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heartforbangtan · 2 months ago

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The only exception | 1

Series Summary: What are the consequences of having your first kiss with your best friend?

Pairing: Park Jimin X Female Reader

Genre: Dancer AU, Friends with Benefits, Angst, Smut, Fluff, Romance, Mutual Pining

Chapter Count: 1 /? (ongoing)

Word count: 4k+

Content Warnings: anxiety attacks

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You got me sippin' on something I can't compare to nothing I've ever known, I'm hoping That after this fever I'll survive The Heart Wants What It Wants - Selena Gomez

Current days

Seoul, South Korea

“Park, you'll be up in 10 minutes”

Jimin hears from his dance instructor as he sits in his dressing room, waiting to perform. He looks in the mirror – his face looks tired, but he needs to give it his all up there on stage, no matter how tired he is.

Agreeing with the instructor, Jimin checks to see if everything is okay with his clothes. The instructor is still at the dressing room door.

“This is your last performance of this season, please do your best.” Jimin hears the man speaking, but tries not to absorb the meaning of the words.

It was always like this. Constantly being held accountable for perfection, as if he didn't already deliver something good enough every time he performed. Deep down, Jimin knew he had gotten himself into this. It wasn't the instructor's fault or the audience's fault for demanding too much. It was only his fault, for having set his standards so high and for having suffered so much to maintain something that is practically impossible to maintain. He’s tired, but he can't stand the idea of failing at something, of not always giving his best.

Jimin sits in front of a mirror in the dressing room while the man stares at him in the mirror, waiting for confirmation from him after his speech. Jimin nods again, silently, praying that he will leave him alone in these last few minutes before the performance. The instructor pats the boy on the shoulder and gives a small smile before walking out the door.

Jimin takes a deep breath and relaxes his shoulders. He needs to concentrate and not focus on what he just heard, so he can do his work without his thoughts getting in the way.

He twists his neck from side to side to crack it. The pain in his neck and shoulder still bothers him, despite the medicine and compresses.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror's reflection. And his face doesn't look pleasant looking at him from the front like that.

Jimin is lost.

When did things become like this?

When he goes up on stage in his all-black outfit, Jimin forgets about all the problems that exist and everything that is bothering him. He hears the voices calling his name in unison and his skin crawls. A feeling that he can't compare to anything else. The only time he is truly happy is here.

He just focuses on the sound of the piano that starts playing, alerting him to start dancing.

And that's how he's been trying not to think about how he no longer sees meaning and purpose in his life. Trying to fool himself with each passing day, with each pain he feels and with each request for more and more perfection.

You sigh heavily and lean back in your chair, stretching. It's almost lunchtime and you're starving.

Before you could get up from your chair to go to lunch early, your boss hurriedly arrived at your desk. You know the way she's acting, and it only means one thing: a new advertising contract for the company.

You take a deep breath and think that at least there will be a distraction to take you out of this endless wave of regrets.

You’re already smiling when she pulls up a chair and sits closer to your desk. Even though she’s your boss, she’s also become a friend, sharing lunches and friday nights after work. So when she comes in excited about a new project, you can’t help but be excited too.

“This well-known agency hired us to advertise one of their dancers.” your boss says with a smile and continues. “And I think you're perfect for what they're asking for, so I've already given them your contact details. This week they're going to schedule a meeting so we can sort everything out.”

You listen carefully and are happy to know that she trusts your work so much that she assigned you directly, without even talking to you first.

“What is the name of the agency?”

“Hybe! Can you believe it?“ Minah continues talking about how happy she was that the company had been recognized by Hybe, which is such a big agency, but you can no longer hear what she was saying.

Your head spins slightly and you feel like you're losing your balance, even though you're sitting in your chair. You try with all your might to focus your eyes on Minah's as she pours all her happiness into you. And you pray that she doesn't notice how disoriented you are by this information.

It was obvious that Hybe had a lot of dancers and just because you could have been assigned to work with any of them didn't mean it had to be him.

“Here, I'll show you a video of their dancer. He's amazing, you have no idea!” Minah was really excited.

She played around on her phone for a few seconds and then pressed play on a video to show you. And the confirmation you needed came like a bucket of cold water. On the screen was a video of Jimin performing on stage. He looked incredible, as always. You had no doubt about that. The black outfit, his hair that was now blond, his dance moves, everything was in perfect harmony. Jimin looked like an angel dancing.

“His name is Jimin. I'm already in love!”

Hearing his name like that was like a knife had been stabbed through your chest.

Your paths went in different directions. You graduated in advertising and continued working in that field, while Jimin decided to study dance at a college far from where you lived. A lot of things happened between you two…

And now you live in Seoul. The same capital that is home to his company.

You hadn't officially cut ties, but a lot had happened between the two of you. It made you sad, sadder than you'd like to admit. Plus, it hurt more and more to see pictures of him with new friends. To know that he was meeting new people and that maybe you weren't missed as much anymore. And you knew that maybe it wasn't healthy to think that way, but you couldn't stop thinking about it.

You know. Deep down you know. Even though you try not to think about it so much and always change the subject when it comes up.

You know that between the two of you it was never just friendship. You also know that maybe it all started on that damn day you decided to kiss. And you also know that the two of you avoid this subject.

Unfortunately, you're too much of a coward to face it and question it. You never had the courage to ask Jimin if he really liked you, or if he wanted something more. To this day you don't know what all that meant to Jimin.

You give Minah your best fake smile and she seems to buy it, still excited about all the news.

“When will be the meeting with them?”

Minah finally comes out of her cell phone trance to look at you.

“Tomorrow!”

You would have less time than you expected to prepare for your meeting again.

It had been a few months since you had stopped following Jimin's performances and news about his life. It was better this way. If you wanted to finally move on, you couldn't stay stuck in this, following his every step every day.

It was a hellish day at work.

When you woke up in the morning you were absolutely certain that it was all just a nightmare and that you wouldn't have to work with Jimin, of all the people in the world.

But your happiness was short-lived when you saw the message on your cell phone, sent a few hours ago.

Best chef 10:44 PM: Hey, I gave your contact to Jimin, okay?? Try to make friends with him, xoxo 😉.

You tried to keep calm by looking at the other unread message you had on your phone.

Unknown Number 03:11AM: We need to talk.

You didn't even need to open the message to know who that number was from that wasn't saved in your contact list. Your eyes closed tightly and you fell back onto the bed with your face buried in the pillow.

You weren't ready to deal with this now. And maybe you never would be ready. Jimin was a sensitive subject in your life. Never in your entire adolescence did you imagine that there would come a day when you would be separated and avoiding each other. Much less did you imagine that you wouldn't even have his contact saved in your list anymore.

By the time the water from the shower hit your body, you had already accepted the reality that you would have to talk to Jimin. If you were going to have to work together, you might as well start interacting. You didn't want this to ruin all your years of hard work. You valued this job and all the opportunities Minah had given you.

As soon as you entered the office, your eyes were drawn straight to the glass-walled meeting room. There he was. Even from the back and with his different hair, you could recognize him. You felt your legs lose their strength and all the courage and determination you had gathered during the morning were gone in the blink of an eye.

Before anyone could see you and say good morning, you ran to the nearest bathroom and locked yourself in. Your heart was pounding in your chest and your breath was getting short. You couldn't afford to have a panic attack in the middle of your shift. You couldn't.

However, as with any other panic attack, the more you think about it, the more you get into it.

You looked at yourself in the mirror as you gripped the edge of the sink to keep yourself upright. Your face was red and tears were already filling your eyes, threatening to fall. You thought you had already gotten over that phase of shaking every time Jimin was possibly near or in the same room as you. Apparently the wound was much deeper than you imagined.

The minutes passed by quickly while you were still frozen in the same position, with cold tears streaming down your face. You saw them running down and falling into the sink, not having the courage to look at your own state in the mirror again. You couldn't recognize yourself in those moments.

Outside the bathroom, you could already hear the office getting busier with the arrival of all the employees. You thanked God for having arrived early today, still having a few extra minutes to compose yourself without being late for work.

You took one last deep breath and searched with trembling hands for the bag that you had just thrown on the toilet when you entered the bathroom. You saw on your cell phone that it had already been 15 minutes since the time you arrived.

After taking a few breaths and wiping away your tears, you left the bathroom still a little shaky. You tried to walk silently to your desk, but your coworker could see the expression on your face.

“Good morni-Jesus! It looks like you saw a ghost.” Hana said laughing through her nose and you forced a giggle. This was not a time for jokes.

“Good morning. I think breakfast didn't suit me well’ You lied, sitting at your desk, dropping your bag and turning on your computer.

You didn't have the audacity to look into the meeting room to see if Jimin was still there. But the way you were feeling, you could almost certainly tell that he was still there. Either way, the meeting wouldn't have ended so quickly for him to have already left.

As soon as the computer turned on, you relaxed a little because you had something to distract yourself with, other than thinking about his imminent presence in the same room as you. However, your peace lasted only a few minutes, because soon Hana was already bringing up the subject you most wanted to avoid in your entire existence.

“Have you seen our new client?” She tilted her head to the side.

“Hm, not yet.“ You tried not to give it much importance, but she continued.

“I only saw him from afar, but wow” she made a dramatic pause and you were forced to look at her face. If the situation wasn't like that you would probably laugh at her expression.”He's gorgeous! And he has a beautiful ass!” Hana said more quietly and laughed, putting her hand over her mouth.

You almost choked on what she said. Your eyes widened for a few seconds. You quickly turned your face to the computer screen and pretended to open some tabs to work. No, seriously, this is not the time to think about that.

“I really didn't see it.”Again you tried to show that you weren't paying much attention to the situation.

“As soon as he leaves that room you have to take a look.” She said and you agreed silently, finally putting an end to this conversation that despite being short, was torturous.

She couldn't even imagine how much you didn't want to have to "take a look" at him, but you will certainly be forced to do so. For work reasons!

It was obvious that everyone already knew he was here. What they didn't know was that you were already assigned to work with him. And even worse, that you had known him for years…

Jimin was an unresolved part of your life that you didn't go around telling everyone as soon as you met them. The person closest to you in that office was your boss, Minah. But even she didn't know about your history with him. After all, what good would it do you to tell her about it? You don't even talk about it with your best friends, only with your psychologist.

Focusing on the tasks that were to be done, you tried to forget the tremor that still roamed your body, making your fingers sweat and your feet get cold from time to time.

You don't know how much time has passed since you sat down to work and entered your own world, but apparently it was enough time for the meeting to get going. You were forced to look in the direction of the meeting room when you heard movement coming from there. From the door of the room you see Minah with half of her body outside calling you. Your whole body freezes. You didn't want to participate in that meeting, but it was inevitable.

A few more colleagues head into the room to participate in this part of the meeting. And you thank God that you don't have to go into that room alone and be the center of everyone's attention.

As soon as you took a step towards the room, your feet felt like they were walking on clouds, and not in a good way. It was like you were going to lose your balance and fall at any moment, the environment getting further away from you with each passing second. You knew you were about to have another panic attack, but you really couldn't afford that to happen now.

When you entered the room, everyone was chatting casually, in what seemed like a short break. Minah was sitting down and directing the chair you should sit next to her at the table.

“Y/n! I just found out that you two already knew each other before. That's amazing. Why didn't you tell me before? “ Minah says in a cheerful tone and it almost makes you want to run away.

He told her about you.

Your stomach churns and the room seems to get smaller around you.

You smile at Minah and greet everyone in the room as you sit down at the circle of tables.

“Yes, we were... friends back in school” you feel the word “friends” weigh heavy on your tongue and hope no one noticed that.

Your eyes lift to look directly at Jimin, who was already analyzing you from across the table. His face shows nothing when he sees you. For a moment, you feel angry and want to yell at him, tell him to react in some way when he sees you, any way. So that it doesn't seem like you're the only one affected by his presence, as if you're the only one who has experienced all these feelings all these years. But you know that you can't demand that of him. If you haven't moved on in all these years, the responsibility is completely yours.

‘That's great. We don't need to start with the formalities then, let's get straight to the point.”

Minah opens a PowerPoint projected on the wall and begins to explain what the company offers and how things work. She also explains how you will fit into it and asks you to give a brief introduction of what your job entails.

You know Jimin isn't looking at you any differently than the others in the room, but you still feel uncomfortable, as if he can see through your skin and into your mind. Despite your nervousness, you manage to maintain your composure and present your work satisfactorily.

The meeting finally ends after a few more minutes of conversation and you couldn't be more relieved. The only thing you wanted at that moment was to escape his presence and gaze.

“I think we'll make a great team.” the agency manager says happily at the end of the meeting.

“I agree.” Minah and the manager shake hands, which are then passed to you.

Somehow, you managed to avoid shaking hands with Jimin in the middle of all the people in the room. You excused yourself and said you had to go to the bathroom and took the opportunity to leave. Everyone still stayed inside the room, chatting casually, without rushing. As soon as you stepped out of the room, your body shivered.

You only managed to take a breath outside the room before someone caught up with you. Your thoughts were so disorganized that you didn't even notice the person following you out of the room.

But there would be no way you wouldn't recognize his presence, even if a thousand years had passed.

“I need to talk to you.” Jimin holds your wrist for a brief moment, lightly, and then lets go. Your face turns to him with a frightened expression.

“Not now, please.“ your expression is of pain. And you are feeling pain. In your chest.

You were alone in the hallway that led to the meeting room. The last thing you wanted was for your coworkers to see you whispering in a hallway. You made to leave, but Jimin continued.

“Why didn't you answer my message?” Jimin asks, getting straight to the point.

You were forced to look at him. You hadn't realized that you hadn't replied to his message. The wave of panic was so big that you didn't even open the message, you just looked at it in the notification bar. Your mind worked quickly to come up with a plausible response.

“ I didn't see.” You say quickly, looking away from him and ready to return to your table once more.

“Wait!“ once again that hand on your wrist, just rubbing the fingers gently, like a touch of silk.

This time your body reacts quickly and you pull your hand away from his touch. You didn't want him to touch you, that was for people who were more intimate. And you weren't close anymore. You could even risk saying that you didn't know each other anymore…

Your reaction didn't go unnoticed by his gaze, breaking it a little more without you knowing.

“ What?” you look at his face, hoping Jimin will quickly say what he needs so you can get back to work.

The silence and tension between you is palpable. If you weren't in the workplace, you would probably explode at this moment.

You can't stand being around him like this.

“Please, give me a chance to talk to you“ Jimin speaks softly, pleadingly.

You're surprised by what he says. You expected him to brush it off again, say it was nothing, and pretend everything was fine.

It seems that some things change with time.

You still analyze him for a few seconds, looking for any form of joke behind his words.

You need to answer it soon because people are starting to leave the room.

“Okay, I will” you agree, but in reality you want to run away from him.

Or beat him up until he understands that you haven't been truly happy for years, and it's all his fault. But that's for another time.

Jimin nods and finally lets you go, watching your back as you walk around the office.

You return silently to your desk. Everyone is busy with their tasks, as if nothing had happened. And indeed, nothing had happened. Only to you.

You were the only one who was shaken by this situation. The only one who seemed to be hiding in a dark shadow, without the strength to get up.

The rest of the day passes slowly. You don't see Jimin anymore that day and you don't know whether to be grateful or not.

However, you weren't able to get Jimin out of your head even if you wanted to. He was the topic of every conversation with your colleagues, and even with your boss, who wanted to go over some information with you.

When you got home at night, it felt like all your energy had been drained from your body. And your work hadn't even been that tiring. It was all emotional exhaustion.

You feel embarrassed and wonder how you're going to tell your psychologist that no, you're not over him yet. And that maybe you haven't made any progress, even with all the conversations you've had about it.

Practice is very different from theory.

Sitting at the kitchen table with wet hair while eating pre-made pasta made in the microwave, you open Jimin's message.

He hasn't sent anything since. You need to take a sip from the generous glass of wine you poured yourself before you write anything to him.

You 08:35PM: Yes. Let's talk Does Friday at 7pm work for you?

Another sip and a bite of pasta. Jimin sees it and your heart races. How fast!

Another sip of wine. To swallow the pasta.

Jimin 08:36PM: Sure. Where do you want to meet?

Shit. You hadn't thought of that.

It takes you a few seconds to think of somewhere that is close enough that you can escape quickly if something happens.

You 08:38PM: Maybe at the coffee shop down the street from the office? Jimin 08:39PM: Sounds good to me

Something about this phone conversation didn't feel right. Maybe it was the formal tone you were using, or maybe it was the way you no longer knew how to talk to each other.

You replied with another message confirming and left your phone out of sight on the table so you could finish eating your meal.

The food was starting to go down your throat with some difficulty after that conversation. You were already starting to think about all the possibilities of this meeting, how it would go, what exactly you would talk about. This wasn't doing your mind any good.

Maybe you wouldn't sleep tonight.

You twirl the pen between your fingers as you look at the notebook in front of you, searching for the right words to write down what you just heard.

Minah leads the meeting with the marketing team, including you. The discussions involve what each person's role will be now with this new contract with Hybe.

“Y/n, I need you to work directly with Jimin” Minah directs to you.

Your gaze is neutral and not surprised. Somehow you have already accepted this reality and no longer try to fight it. Maybe you were dead inside.

You nod and Minah continues.

“You will do everything according to his preferences. I need you to work together on this.” she emphasizes and you agree.

Internally you are screaming. You know that working with any other client would be like this too, but something about her words and about Jimin makes you angry.

You didn't want to have to take orders from him, or have to work alongside him.

You wonder what kind of sick joke the universe wanted to play on you.

The week goes by faster than you would like. All you wanted was the weekend to rest, but that would also mean getting through the day you and Jimin were going to meet. And you didn't want to meet him.

A/N: aaaa finally the first chapter of The Only Exception. I hope you like it as much as I like this story. My idea is to follow the line of: one chapter in the present, another chapter in the past, to explain how everything happened between them. Did that get confusing? I hope not lmao

#jimin fanfic #bts x reader #jimin x reader #jimin x you #bts fanfic #bts au #bts imagines #bts x you #bts jimin #jimin x y/n #park jimin #jimin smut #bts smut

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chimcess · 6 months ago

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Waterlog || pjm (4)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 11.8k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: ANGST, crying, mental health issues, talking about mental health, I'm so soft for them it's actually wild, best boyfriend Jimin, did I say angst????, past drug use, past alcohol addiction, past trauma talk, crying, anxiety, hand holding, touching as a love language, Jimin can't keep his hands to himself, he does try his best though, pining, sexual tension, banter, I love these two A/N: I know we're a couple of weeks late updating, but I've been very busy with moving so I haven't had the energy to write. I did a very quick edit, so this might not be perfect. I'm planning on coming back once I'm in my new place to do a full proofread. Hope you like the update!

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Hand clutching my phone, I sighed. All around me the airport buzzed with life. I had almost forgotten how hectic the Denver Airport was. A few feet away I saw a mother struggling to keep her children together while her husband scrolled on his phone. I must have made some sort of noise, subconsciously voicing my annoyance, because Jimin laughed.

“What’s going on, gran?” He teased, voice light. “See a couple of youngins on your lawn?”

I scoffed, tearing my eyes away from the family. “Just a shitty husband ignoring his children.”

He hissed, sucking in air through his teeth, “The worst kind of dude. Are you alright?”

Softening, I finally spotted my luggage on the conveyor belt. Twisting my torso, I did a light stretch and then quickly snatched the heavy bag up. “Not too anxious, right?”

He had been very worried about letting me come home for a visit. When I had originally brought it up he offered himself up for the job, but I was not a fan of that idea. My friends would definitely bring up our date and I did not want to deal with the awkwardness that would cause. Especially since we had yet to go on it. That would not matter to Hoseok, however, and the teasing would have been endless. Better to spare Jimin from their wrath for just a little while longer.

“I’m cool,” I replied, softening. “Just got my stuff from baggage claim. I’m going to let you go so I can call Andy.”

“Okay bug. See you in a few days.”

Harper had recently started calling me that, forgetting my real name and not caring enough to ask for it. Eloise had tried to scold her for it, but I told her I did not mind it. It caught on with Cameron not too long after that, and soon the entire Park family had started using the little nickname. Jimin thought it was adorable from the beginning but had only started using it after our talk the other night.

I laughed, “I’m going to call you tonight.”

“Aw,” I knew he had that stupid smile on his face. “Miss me that much?”

“Someone needs to make sure you’re staying out of trouble,” I replied, a confident pep in my step I had not had in years. “But yes, I do miss you.”

There was a pregnant pause.

“I miss you too.”

I could feel my heart melting. I was still getting used to our new dynamic. On most days we were strictly business, and were able to set aside the very large, very apparent elephant in the room. It was not until we had finished with work that those roles dropped, and we were able to just be us.

Ever since my confession in the car Jimin spoke a hell of a lot more. Apparently, he had a hard time keeping his feelings to himself and chose to talk a little less in order to avoid a slip up. He wanted to give us both a little bit of time to get to know one another before springing his crush on me.

“Going soft, kid?” Playing things off with humor was Jimin’s thing, but it had slowly started to rub off on me. “It’s only two days.”

“I know,” He pouted. “Call your friend. It’s cold and you’ll get sick.”

“Hey,” I cut the teasing tone I had, “You’re not upset I came here by myself, right?”

“No,” He chuckled with an unmistakable fondness. “I’m just messin’ with you. I’m not ready to meet your friends and you need some alone time. We’re good, I promise.”

I sighed in relief, “Okay. Good. I’m going to go now. Talk to you later?”

“Call me when you can,” He replied, voice light.

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye, bug.”

I was disappointed to hear the line go dead but knew I could aimlessly walk around this airport all day if given the chance, so long as he was there with me. Trying to get my thoughts back on track, I sent a text to Andy asking if she was here yet. If not, I was already making plans to call Jimin back.

Andy: I’m parked in 5 near C Gates

Andy: Be careful

Andy: Saw a lady almost get hit by a car just now

Me: See you in a sec

Me: Should I be worried?

I knew she was trying to make a joke, but car accident punchlines never went over all that well with me. Even if I knew the chances of that happening to me were almost zero, I really did not want to have a panic attack in the airport parking lot.

Andy: Not at all. I’m so sorry for even saying anything. I can come meet you at the doors if you want.

Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Sigh of relief. I was fine.

Me: I appreciate you

Me: Is babygirl here?

Dani would help the spike of anxiety dissipate. The girl was fearless and was sure to be distracting enough to keep me from paying attention to the oncoming traffic. I suddenly wished that Jimin was here. He always knew what to do.

Andy: Jin and I are weak

Andy: We let her play hooky

Bobbing and weaving through bodies, I tossed my phone into my purse and made my way out of the airport. The arrivals station was packed, and I would need to take the automated train to where Andrea was parked. It was my least favorite part about this airport, but it beat Dallas-Fort Worth by a landslide. I had gotten lost in that airport more times than I could count.

Three minutes later I was getting out of the train and stepping into C Gates. I could smell Auntie Anne’s and felt my mouth begin to water. Checking my clock, I decided it would not hurt to make a quick spot for lunch. Andy would appreciate it and I knew Dani loved their pretzel dog.

There was a little less traffic in C Gates. More of the expensive airlines let out here, and all you could see were business professionals pacing back and forth. A family on vacation bumped into me while I was waiting in line, and I almost gave up my spot when their toddler started screaming.

“No, no,” His mother insisted, her hair a mess on the top of her head. “Between the girls and my mom, we’ll be here all day. Go ahead, sweetie.”

Two little girls danced around me as we waited, the line moving at a snail's pace due to the airport being understaffed. They asked me questions incessantly, and while their mother had tried her best to keep them in line, I told her I was fine with the extra attention. I loved kids and the girls were harmless. The boy in her arms kept repeating “pizza” and soon an elderly woman joined them.

If the girls talked a lot, they had nothing on grandma. Not only did she never shut her mouth, she was loud and obnoxiously laughing every few seconds. The boy was quick to beg to be in her arms and mom got a break. She was back to attempting to corral the girls, but again they did not really listen.

“They’re only like this when my mom’s around,” She sighed, frustrated and tired. “We’re meeting up with their father and they’re all a little restless.”

“It’s no bother,” I lied. The girls really were not that bad. Just a couple of four-year-olds having fun. The only person who was really getting on my nerves was her mother, but I was not about to say that. “Better to get it out now than in the car, right?”

She cracked a tired smile, “Right.”

Finally, it was my turn to order. The young girl behind the counter gave me an award-winning smile while another young blonde was in the back getting all of the orders out.

“Hi, welcome to Auntie Anne’s. How can I help you today?”

“Can I get one original pretzel, one cinnamon sugar pretzel, and a pretzel dog combo with a lemonade and cheese,” Glancing behind me, I sighed. “Throw in a pizza pretzel, two orders of pretzel nuggets, and whatever else the family behind me wants.”

She smiled, blue eyes twinkling prettily in the bright lights. Turning around I waved the mother over and told her to get something for her and her mother. She put up a small fight, but eventually gave in when she realized I had already put our orders together.

“Thank you so much,” I thought she might burst into tears when my card was approved. “You really didn’t need to do that.”

I shrugged, “It was nothing. Have a nice vacation.”

Walking to the pickup area, my order was already waiting for me. With nothing more than a simple wave, I left the dysfunctional family behind. The grandmother’s loud thank you seemed to echo off of the airport walls, but it was a little less grating now that I knew I would never hear it again.

Andy threw herself at me when I finally made it outside, little Dani wrapping her arms around my legs with squeals of delight louder than her mother’s. Taking her pretzel, Andy gave me a fat, wet kiss on the cheek and told Dani she could eat in the car.

“How’s gymnastics, girlie?” I asked the little girl once we were in the car. “Still kicking ass?”

“No,” She laughed. “I quit, like, forever ago. Appa put me in ballet classes.”

I gave Andy a look. The red head rolled her eyes, fixing me with a knowing look. I had been telling Jin to put her in dance for years.

“It’s been two weeks and she’s already trying to talk him into figure skating.”

“You’re a little hustler, huh?” I reached into the back, squeezing her knee. Dani giggled, angling her body away from mine. She was very ticklish. “Keep at it. You know your dad’s a sucker.”

Dani laughed, “My vovó says the same thing.”

We listened to Olivia Rodrigo on our way to the Kim house. Hoseok and Matilda had planned a huge coming back party for me, and from what it sounded like, I was going to meet Tilly’s new boyfriend.

“Anything I need to know about Max?” I asked.

Andy was almost as in the dark about the guy as I was but was able to tell me he was a tattoo artist from California. The two of them met at Frank’s bookstore and by the end of their conversation Max had managed to get her out to dinner and in his bed. It was a whirlwind romance, one that made me feel uneasy about its foundation, but I was still obligated to be happy for my friend. They could be soulmates for all I knew, and I was not about to judge anybody else for their version of a first date.

“I don’t want to talk about tattoo guy anymore,” Andy whined playfully, turning up the radio when “Good 4 U” came on. “I need to know more about your little boyfriend.”

I groaned, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

This was why I was so adamant Jimin stayed away. We had yet to have a real talk about what we were, choosing to wait for our first date to iron out those details, but no one in my circle seemed to understand. All they heard was the word date and suddenly wedding bells started going off.

“Stop deflecting. We both know he’s your boyfriend, official or not,” She laughed, stealing looks at her daughter in the rearview. “What’s he like?”

It was a hard question to answer. On the one hand, I felt like I knew him better than anybody else, but I was self aware enough to know I didn’t. His body language, the way he looked when he beat his best time, and all of his preferred gear were seared into my mind. The movies he liked, his favorite albums, and all of the best tv shows ever made. He went to college. He was the sweetest, kindest, most understanding person I had ever met, and yet… he still felt far away. The shadows that oftentimes clouded his vision were still a mystery to me, and when he came into practice with a lost look on his face, I felt helpless. I knew him and yet I didn’t.

“He’s quiet,” I finally landed on. “Very nice. Always willing to help other people out if he can. You’d like him.”

Andrea scoffed, “That’s it? The first guy you’ve dated in years and all you can tell me is I’d like him?”

“We’re still getting to know each other,” I sighed. “What do you want to know?”

We spent the rest of the car ride going over the last two months' worth of pining. I told her about Fiona, Jimin’s family, and all of my new friends. She almost pissed herself laughing when I told her about the night he asked me out, making so many Hoseok and Tilly jokes I had a difficult time focusing on the story. Andrea seemed to be finished with her interrogation when we pulled up at her house.

Dani ran to the front door, her excitement about the party making any discomfort I had disappear. It was hard to feel uncomfortable with her around. Taking my hand in hers, the little girl shifted her weight from foot to foot, shouting at her mom to hurry up, and opening the front door anyway. Andy told her to calm down, and I just chuckled and went along with it.

The living room was filled with all of my favorite people, a large ‘welcome home’ sign hanging on the large, backwall. Underneath it was a huge table covered in food, a cake in the middle of it, and I had a feeling Sarah made it. Both her and Frank were the first people to notice me, their faces lighting up, and I let go of Dani’s hand in favor of embracing the elderly couple. The rest of the party comers erupted their voices loud and filled with love as they took turns passing me around.

“Missed you, Otter,” Hoseok murmured in the crook of my neck, hands secured around my waist.

“Missed you more,” I replied, releasing him and catching Tilly. “Jeez, girl. Trying to kill me?”

“Come meet Max,” She replied, dragging me away from Hoseok.

Max was a tall, lanky guy with black hair that fell down his back. His clothes were on the baggier side, all black, and I recognized the band on his t-shirt from the shit Matilda liked to listen to in the car. He smiled at me, and I was surprised to see him rocking adult braces. He introduced himself, his voice deep and warm, and shook my hand. They were baby soft and covered in tattoos.

“It’s great to see you,” I replied, genuinely meaning it. If I had to picture a guy more perfect for Tilly, I would come up empty handed. “Thanks for coming.”

He flushed, impossibly pale skin turning a bright shade of red reminding me of Jimin.

“Anything for Mattie,” He replied.

Huh, he had his own nickname for her and everything. I would need to hang out with Max more before I could say if I liked him or not, but so far, I had a good feeling. Andrea’s worries seemed a bit silly now. They really liked each other, and Tilly’s heartbreaking, dimpled smile made me feel more confident in her partner. They would be just fine.

The party was fun, and I ate more spinach and artichoke dip than was healthy. Hoseok and I talked about my afterschool visit tomorrow. The boys had a swim meet Saturday and the two of us were hoping we could tag team in order to iron out any issues they had been having. I was being placed in charge of the freshmen while Hoseok made sure the other kids were feeling confident and ready for the meet.

"Let's party!" Frank boomed, lifting a beer into the air.

I laughed, "Be careful, old timer. Don't want you to hurt yourself."

I thought of Jimin again. That sounded like something he would say. Surrounded by the people I loved, I laughed hard and partied harder. The plates of food came one right after the other, and I was happy that I still had a place here. Falling back into my step, I fit seamlessly back into the fold.

"Dance with me," Hoseok demanded, tipsy and red-faced.

"It's your toes," I replied, taking his head and letting him take the lead.

The other couples were already dancing and hooped and hollered as I awkwardly followed the steps. I was not always a bad dancer but lost some of my rhythm in the accident. Hoseok never minded and let me step on his feet without a single complaint.

"You look happy," He commented, spinning me around.

I smiled, "I am."

He smiled back, wincing when I stomped down on his toes again. I apologized, but he just held my hand a little tighter and kept moving. I hummed along to the song, filled with joy. He spun me again, and finally let me go when I slammed into Jin.

"Go get some cake or something," He laughed. "You're too dangerous to be out here."

I rolled my eyes, "I tried to tell you. It's your fault you don't listen."

"Don't need you anyway. I have enough swag for the both of us."

I watched, thoroughly amused from the sidelines, as he moon-walked around the living room.

I left just before midnight after staying behind to help Andy and Jin clean up. The others left a few hours before to get back to Denver at a decent time. My house looked the same as always, dark and empty, but I could tell the landscapers had been around. The grass was recently cut and edged.

The silence inside was deafening. I had always known my place was too big for one person, but after spending so much time in my little she-shed at the Andersons’ house, everything here just felt excessive. Tossing my keys in the bowl beside the door, I wiped my eyes and decided to just head to bed. I would only be here for three days. I would be back in Saline before I knew it.

Dragging my body upstairs, this sudden depression-filled fatigue made my shoulders feel ten times heavier. A chilling, almost insidious, hollowness began to spread across my body. I knew this feeling all too well and it made me feel pathetic. Could I not be on my own anymore? Had I really grown that attached to my life in Michigan? Finally getting into my bedroom, I realized that I had.

Saline was perfect. Living in Colorado Springs has always bothered me. The people here held more traditional values and making friends was difficult. I had Andy and Jin, but they were both very busy people. Andrea was a full-time nurse, Jin’s schedule was somehow even more erratic than his wife’s, and when they were off, they wanted to spend time with Dani. I was lucky if I saw them once every two weeks.

Hoseok, Tilly, and Minho all lived in Denver, and while I saw them more often due to the meetings with Frank and Sarah dragging me into the city, it was not like we hung out every time I was out there. Days would go by with me speaking at all, and most of my weekends were spent in bed sleeping. Working at the school helped, but I would never claim anyone from the swim team to be a friend. I was not in the habit of befriending children.

Living in Saline was different. Jimin was always there to make me laugh, and when he wasn’t, I had people like Taehyung and Sam to keep me company. Giselle was young, but we got along so well I often forgot about the difference in age between the two of us. Megan and Yoongi were Michigan’s own version of Andy and Jin, and I could see myself becoming good friends with them given enough time. No one had kids, no one was too busy trying to keep up with crazy expenses, and I could find a little house away from the rest of the world to spend my life in.

I thought of the Parks, a family who I had come to love more than I thought was possible, and the Andersons who took me in and always tried to make me feel comfortable. Eloise and her kindness. Luna and Cameron. All of them. I loved and adored every single one of them, and it was then that I finally let myself really think about what I wanted.

Did I want to come back here after I was finished with the season? Did I really want this massive house if it meant I had no one to share it with? No, I decided. Stripping out of my clothes, the numbness was being replaced with a different strange feeling. It felt suspiciously like hope. Excitement came to me so rarely it was foreign and odd, but nice all the same. Jittery, I took my phone out of my pants pocket.

“Hello?” Jimin’s voice was scratchy when he finally picked up.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “Did I wake you up?”

“Yes, but it’s okay,” I could hear him shuffling around in his bed. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, climbing into bed. Then, without thinking, I blurted, “I think I want to move to Michigan.”

I held my breath as I waited for his response. There was no telling how this conversation would go, but I was hopeful. Even if this whole date thing did not go very well, I was positive that we would be able to move past it with a little bit of time. We worked well together and if he was comfortable with it then we could continue working together. Regardless, there was always coaching at a school.

“Like, permanently?”

I nodded but after a moment of silence remembered he could not see me.

“Yeah.”

My stomach started to churn. As the silence on the other end began to stretch, the excitement I felt before faded. Even if I said Jimin and I could get past a potentially awkward break up of sorts, I would not pretend that the thought did not make me physically ill. We would never be the same if that happened. It would be something to think about if it came to pass before the Olympics was over.

“Did something happen?” He finally asked, and I could hear the genuine worry in his tone. “Are you okay?”

The fear shifted to hurt, irritation, and anger, making my eyebrows knit together.

“I’m fine,” I could not keep the bite from my voice. It was petty and wrong of me, but his insinuation that I was not in my right mind was insulting. It made me feel like a child. “Just- forget I said anything. I don’t know what I’m even talking about.”

“Don’t do that,” His steady calmness made me even angrier. “I’m only asking you because it came out of the blue, not because I’m not happy with the idea.”

Now I just felt silly. Here I was making these small revelations, waking him up from his sleep, and then getting snippy because he did not respond the way I had wanted him to. Ugh, I wasn’t even his girlfriend yet and I’m acting like Darcy. A shiver went down my spine. That was an insult above all others.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, the attitude from a few seconds before gone as quickly as it came. “I got defensive for no reason. Sorry.”

He chuckled, the sound barely audible over the phone.

“I forgive you. Now, why do you want to pack your life up for good?”

That made me laugh. It was a sad, pitiful sound. One that did not hold my usual spunk. One I don’t think Jimin had ever heard before. It was impossible to feel sad when he was around.

“I forgot how quiet my house is,” I admitted softly. “I love my friends, but I think coming back just reminded me of how easily I was able to fall back into the routine of it all. Jin and Andy are parents, Tilly has a new boyfriend, and Hoseok and Minho are always so busy with their own lives that I don’t see any of them as often as I would like to.”

Turning on my side, I blinked back a few tears.

“It might sound stupid, but I really do love Saline. I like how busy I am and all of my friends. I bought this place with the hopes of kids and a dog one day, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen, and now it’s just rooms collecting dust. I just-” I let a tear fall, my emotions starting to bubble over. “I don’t like how lonely it feels out here.”

“Doesn’t sound like you like it there. Have you always felt like this?” He asked.

I shook my head, the tears free falling in between sniffles and shaky breaths.

“Not always. Ever since Namjoon died things have been weird. There was a point when I felt suffocated because no one would leave me alone, and then one day everything resumed, and I just got left behind. It was like I woke up and two years just passed me by.”

Jimin comforted me while I cried, telling me how much he hated to hear me so upset, while I worked on calming down. There had been a time in my life when I was not so emotional, but therapy had opened up a whole new side of myself I didn't know existed. Rubbing my face, I sniffled and sank deeper into my mattress. For now, the waterworks had stopped.

“You were recovering,” He soothed. “Your body needed time to heal, and you were traumatized. I don’t think anyone can blame you for zoning out for a bit.”

I hummed, “I know. Doesn’t make it easier to swallow.”

“I know how you feel. When I pulled out of the Olympics last time there was a part of me that felt like a huge failure, but my dad was there to help get my head back on straight. He doesn’t seem like it, but he’s a really great shoulder to cry on.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” My voice was like sandpaper. “James is the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”

I felt heavy. Worn. Used. My eyes begged for me to shut them, but we were just getting back into safer waters, and I didn’t want to burst the bubble. I yawned, covering my mouth and hoping Jimin could not hear the sound. He had gone quiet.

“Can I ask you something?” Jimin’s voice broke through the comfortable silence that had formed around us. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Shoot,” I forced myself to smile.

“What happened to Namjoon?”

I closed my eyes. This was something I knew would come up sooner or later. My lip wobbled uncontrollably as the second wave of tears crashed over me. I hated talking about this, but I knew it was going to come up sooner or later. Jimin deserved the truth, and honestly, I wanted to tell him. Being vulnerable with someone felt good. Being vulnerable with Jimin was divine. He was always so ready and willing to go along with things, listening and watching my every move, and trying his best to understand me. It was refreshing. It was nice. It was familiar.

“Was he in the accident with you?” He asked and his voice was so, so gentle.

“Yeah,” I croaked, finally finding my voice. “I went out with some of my friends and got pretty drunk. I was tired and ready to go home, but my ride didn’t want to go home yet. So, I called Joon.”

I sucked in a deep, loud breath. Jimin told me I could stop, that I didn’t owe him anything, but I ignored him. This wasn’t about owing him. This was about letting the guy I liked get to know me. This story was a part of who I was, as fucked up as that may sound, and I wanted him to get to know this facet of my life as deeply as he knew the present day one.

“Anyway,” I continued. “He offered to come and pick me up. Twenty minutes later I’m getting into his car and we’re on our way home. We’d just gotten engaged and bought our first house together- things were perfect. I had never been happier.

“We ended up taking the long way home because of an accident on the interstate. It was my idea, and Namjoon had a knack for going along with whatever I wanted. We were only two minutes away from the house when we got hit.”

I took a few deep breaths and wiped my face. Jimin was quiet on the other end. After a minute or two, I jumped back into the story.

“There was a four-way intersection around the corner from our place. Our light was green when we drove up. I don't think he thought to check if there was another car coming. He never even saw the truck. He, uh, died on impact.”

“Jesus,” Jimin breathed.

“The other guy was drunk as hell behind the wheel. Not paying attention. Funny thing is, he was the only person who didn’t get critically injured. Just a broken arm and a concussion. He wrapped our car around a light pole. My leg was pinned between the car and the light, and the airbag is what caused the brain injury.”

Jimin cursed under his breath, “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry that happened to you.”

“Yeah,” I gritted out. “Me too.”

He let me cry for a little while, saying over and over again how sorry he was and how he wished he was in Colorado with me. I did not have anything to say to him. It felt like my chest had been ripped open and my heart was on full display.

I never questioned how quickly we went from barely talking, to joking around, to sitting up late at night on the phone talking about life. It just happened. Clutching my phone in my hand, I let out a deep breath and held back any more tears from falling. I never said it, but I wished he was here, too.

“Hey,” His voice was gentle when he spoke, so fragile and sweet, that I had to force down the sobs threatening to come out. “I just want to say I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier. You wanting to move here is probably the best thing I’ve heard all fucking year, but I just didn’t want to sway your decision.”

Sniffling, I tried to tell him I wasn’t upset, but he shut me down almost immediately.

“Let me finish,” His voice did not leave room for argument. “I know I don’t act like I’m insecure, but I am. I can be selfish and self-centered, and I’ve always had to really work on those parts of myself.”

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything,” I mumbled, curling into a ball beneath my blankets.

“Like I said, I can be a very selfish person,” He sighed. “There was this part of my brain just wanting to hear you say you were coming here and staying with me for forever. I didn’t want that to take over the narrative. And- no offense, but if you did move all the way out here just to date me, I think I’d be a little creeped out honestly.”

I snorted. Hearing that he felt the need to explain any of that to me felt like a small win, even if it did make an alarm go off in my head. It took courage to be that open and honest with another person, especially someone who just cried their eyes out. His compassion and understanding never failed to amaze me, and I was grateful he trusted me enough to let me into his mind for once. Still, it did not make the creep comment any less funny.

“Don’t laugh,” He whined, unable to stop himself from chuckling. “I’m being serious.”

“So do you want me to be a creepy stalker or not?” I joked, hoping to lighten up the mood. “Make up your mind, kid.”

“I think I just want you to be yourself,” I melted. “That’s been working out just fine so far. I mean, if you are a creepy stalker, you managed to get me to like you.”

“Mission accomplished,” I breathed, still reeling from his sweet words. “You better watch out, 007. There’s a new spy in town.”

“So, I’m Bond and you’re Joe Goldburg?”

“Exactly,” My cheeks hurt from how much I was smiling. “Penn Badgley would be a decent James Bond. He was really great in Margin Call.”

I bit my lip, trying to suppress my smile.

“Holy shit, you actually watched it?”

Margin Call was one of Jimin's favorite movies from 2011. He kept a very large notebook filled with all of the movies he’s ever seen, along with ratings, and if he should ever watch them again. He went through it one day and came across the action film, rewatched it, and then spent most of the day talking my ear off about how great it is.

“Someone I know was very passionate about it, and it managed to pique my curiosity.”

Jimin sighed, but I could not tell what emotion was behind it. Definitely was not anger or frustration. Not sadness either.

“What time are you getting back on Sunday?” He asked, and I could definitely hear the affectionate tone his voice had taken on.

“Um,” I thought about it for a moment. “Six, I think.”

“PM?”

“Yeah,” I curled up under my blankets. It was beginning to get really cold inside, but I did not want to get up to turn the heat on. “I have to double check my flight times, but I know it’s somewhere around there. Why? What’s up?”

“I know we already made plans for next week, but I was thinking I could pick you up from the airport and we could go out.”

My face grew hot, “I don’t think I’ll be dressed for a date.”

“You always look great,” He assured me.

I laughed, nervous and embarrassed, “Thanks.”

We had originally planned our first date to be the weekend after I got back. Jimin was adamant about giving me an experience, and I had been more than happy to indulge him a little. He was just so cute when he got excited. We were running on a limited timeline right now, though, since he had an upcoming swimming fundraiser with Swim Across America in Allendale. The team was raising money for cancer research, and I was very excited to be there to show my support.

Moving the date up meant we would have less to do next weekend, unless Jimin still wanted to keep our plans in place, but it meant we could focus on the fundraiser instead of trying to juggle a date at the same time.

“I hate to go, but I’m really tired,” Jimin yawned. Pulling my phone away from my ear I was startled by how late it was. “I’ll text you in the morning, okay?”

I apologized for keeping him up so late. “Promise I won’t do it again.”

He hummed, already beginning to fall asleep, “Don’t mind. You’re always welcome to bother me in the middle of the night.”

“Night Jimin,” I whispered, blood pumping.

“Night bug.”

There was one thing I missed about Colorado- how quickly the snow melted. Michigan was seeing more snow as each day went by, but here in the mountains they would not start seeing the worst of it until the spring. For the first time in a month, I was able to forgo my large, puffy jacket in favor of a long sleeve and jeans. Jimin found my excitement over this endearing, sending a slew of heart-eye emojis in response to the mirror photo I sent him.

It was almost the end of the day when I pulled into the high school parking lot. The entire front office erupted in excitement when I walked through the front doors, hugs and well wishes overwhelming me. Sandra, the receptionist, could have talked all day if I let her, and after signing in, I politely told them all I needed to meet up with Coach Jung. I lied about stopping by on my way out and only felt a little bad about it. They were way too much for me.

“They’re going to be so excited to see you,” Hoseok mumbled, a smile stretching across his face as loud teenage boys got closer and closer to the pool house.

“I’m happy to see them, too,” I replied. “Should we wait until they change to make the grand reveal?”

He shook his head. “Would you rather hug now or when they’re in speedos.”

I shivered, disgusted by the mental image.

“Thanks for putting that in my head, you sick fuck.”

Choking on his spit, Hoseok bent over, laughing so hard he started to screech. His laughter reminded me of a ghost's wail and was contagious. We were both so wrapped up in our little bubble we did not notice the doors opening.

“Coach?”

Wiping my cheeks, I caught my breath and made eye contact with Jordan. Baby blue eyes widened while a large, dimple smile overtook his face. Behind him, Gabriel announced that I was here, and the room was filled with excitement. I was not much of a hugger, but I was happy to greet each boy with one. Gabriel hadn’t stopped speaking since catching sight of me and had a few accidental slip ups about how much he disliked Coach Jung.

Hoseok had alluded to that being their main issue right now. The boys were having a hard time adjusting to a new face and missed me dearly. To his credit, Hoseok admitted that he was still getting used to the coaching thing and made a couple mistakes his first few days here. He had made it a point to apologize to them for being a dick, but the teens hadn’t forgotten or forgiven him for his snappy attitude. Especially the two oldest.

“When are you coming back?” Marcus asked.

I smiled sadly, “I’ll be out for the rest of the year.” The tall boy deflated, sending a nasty look Hoseok’s way. “But,” I was quick to fix my mistake, “I’m planning on making trips to assist Coach Jung throughout the year. I wanted to be here for your last meet, but something came up.”

That something had been Jimin’s birthday, and I was not going to risk missing his party.

Regardless, Marcus and the team were very happy to hear they would be seeing me.

“I promise I’ll be here for graduation, too,” I added.

Gabriel offered to give me one of his tickets and I gratefully accepted the extended offer. We stood there and talked for at least fifteen minutes before I finally told them to get changed and into the water. Without protest, all twelve of them went to the locker room.

“You know,” Hoseok chuckled. “You're going to have to teach me how you manage to do that.”

“Cinnamon buns from Mountain Shadows,” I put on my whistle and grabbed my clipboard from my duffel bag. “They’ll be eating out of your hand in no time.”

The team was glowing. Jordan stood in the middle of the boys, a large smile on his face, as he praised them for giving the meet their best effort. Having another win under their belt, all of them were buzzing with excitement at a chance at nationals. They only needed to win three more competitions to qualify.

For the first time since I arrived, the icy contempt they held for Hoseok seemed to thaw. It brought a smile to my face. If I did not come back next year, I had a feeling the boys would be getting along much better.

“What’s for dinner?” Marcus asked, looking at me for an answer.

“Coach said something about burgers,” I replied, gesturing towards Hoseok. “You should ask him though. I could be wrong.”

Gabriel chimed in, “Yeah, we’re going to Bingo.”

My mouth watered. Bingo Burger was one of the best spots in town. Their fries were hot and crispy, and I loved their shakes. Mulling over my options for dinner, I always found myself stuck between the Gone Shroomin’ Burger and the Happy Hippie. For a vegan burger, that thing was really fucking good. Then again, a thick, juicy beef patty smothered in bacon, cheese, and mushrooms would hit the spot. Indecisive and bored, I fiddled around with my phone and somehow ended up texting Jimin.

Me: Gone Shroomin’ or Happy Hippie?

The noise on the bus was just in the background now and easy to tune out. Hoseok was laughing loudly with the freshmen while the two seniors were in a quiet conversation in the seat in front of me. Marcus and his girlfriend broke up recently. I stopped paying attention once my phone vibrated.

Jimin: No idea what that means

Jimin: Gone Shroomin I guess

I bit my lip, suppressing a smile.

Me: We’re going for celebration burgers

Me: The boys won and Hobi is treating them since we’re out in Pueblo and not getting back to the Springs until after dinner.

Jimin: Speaking of food… I was thinking we could get some BBQ on Sunday

“Y/N!” Hoseok called, making me look up from my phone. “Tell your boyfriend you’ll call him later.”

“We need you to be the tiebreaker,” Twig chirped.

“What for?” I sighed, glancing down at my screen.

Jimin: Have you been to Union Rec yet? It’s BBQ and a taqueria

Me: No but I’m always down for a burrito

“Do mermaids have gills?” Twig asked.

Fully pulled out of my phone, I flipped it around and gave the boys my undivided attention.

“Of course not. They’re mammals, so it would be a blowhole.”

Hoseok clapped his hands, “Thank you! That’s exactly what I said.”

Sliding further down in the booth, I closed my eyes and drowned them out again. Colorado’s air was so dry and crisp I was having to get used to the altitude change. I missed how wet and cold Michigan was. Smiling to myself, I remembered how much I hated it when I first landed. So much has changed…

Shuffling, I made myself more comfortable. We were only thirty minutes out from the Springs now, and we would be at Bingos right on time for Hoseok’s reservations. Feeling myself growing tired, I sunk even further into the booth. Eyes heavy, I let them slip closed, and slept for the rest of the bus ride.

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, I smoothed down my skirt for the millionth time. The gray sweater I had thrown on seemed too casual now that I was looking at myself, but I did not know what else to do. It was a laundry day, but when I went to put my clothes in the dryer it refused to turn on. Violet said they needed a new one anyway, but that did little to improve my mood. The pretty red dress I wanted to wear was soaking wet and hanging from the shower rod to dry. I played with the skin on my lip, willing the black and gray outfit to somehow look nicer. On the other side of the phone, Andy sighed.

“You look fine,” She insisted, running her hand through her auburn hair. “Do a cute hairstyle and put on a nice pair of earrings, and you’ll be golden.”

“You don’t think it’s too plain?” I had asked her this five times now, and each time I got that same reply. “I mean, do I look like I’m going to a funeral?”

“The guy has seen you in sweats and no makeup and still wanted to take you out. Do you honestly think he cares about the color of your outfit?”

She had a point. Finally deciding to cave in and give up on my obsession, I took her advice to do something with my hair. A few of the strands were beginning to look silver, and my sideburns were looking paler every day, but after Hoseok told me he was starting to see a few grays, I decided to leave them be. If we were both going to be silver foxes, I liked the idea of doing it together.

“Are you wearing heels?”

“No,” I shook my head. I picked my phone up and went to my bedroom to find a pair of earrings. “It’s too icy. Silver or gold?”

She thought about it for a second, her face scrunched up cutely.

“Silver.”

I landed on some thick, gun-metal hoops. They matched the color of the sweater perfectly and did not take away from my face too much. I had spent too much time on looking this nice to have an accessory dominate. Andy was happy with my choice.

I had gotten back a little earlier than I originally thought I would, and asked Jimin if it was okay that I meant him at the restaurant out here instead of making him drive all the way to Detroit to pick me up. He had put up a bit of a fight about it but relented when I said I was hoping we could hang out at his house after dinner. I said I wanted to get myself home, but I was really trying to see how bad the drive was from his place to mine. The thought of spending more time in his space made me feel like a teenage girl.

“How’s ballet going?” I slipped on a pair of black tights. It was freezing outside, and I wanted to have as many layers on as possible. “Has Dani made any progress in getting her figure skating career started?”

Andrea laughed but said that her daughter was getting closer to her goal every day. Jin was weak and did anything the little girl wanted if he could. This was the only issue they were both bull-headed about. Jin wanted to teach her to be responsible and follow through on things, and Dani was tired of preparing for figure skating. She wanted to be on the ice and her dad was afraid of pushing her too far too young. I was most definitely a team Dani instigator, and it was a point of contention between Seokjin and I.

“What did you think of Max?”

I smiled. That boy was definitely a character. The gang and I had a nice dinner before I left Colorado, and Tilly brought along Mr. Tattoo guy. He was quiet and when he did talk, he always had something completely random and out of the blue to say. He fascinated me and when everyone started huddling in their own groups to chat, I turned most of my attention to the new guy.

He was a sweetheart, and it was a nice change of pace getting to know him. He hated being called Peter (his first name), went to college for nuclear engineering, and became a tattoo artist on a whim. A buddy of his wanted a new piece, paid Max to draw it, and trusted the guy with a tattoo gun. He was an apprentice in San Francisco for three years before moving to Denver to open up his own shop. For all of his eccentricity, he was very successful and down to Earth.

“He’s good for her,” I finally replied, zipping up my Doc Martens, I checked the time. I would have to leave soon. “I’m just happy there’s no drama between her and Hobi.”

It had been a year since they officially broke up, but I knew they fell into bed with one another a handful of times since then. Hoseok and I had talked about their weird relationship on one too many drunken nights, the swimmer the only person able I liked enough to force a glass of whiskey down. Tilly knew that I knew and would vent to me sometimes. They loved each other, knew one another better than anybody else, and it was easy to fall back into each other since we were in the same circle.

I doubted Andy knew anything about that, we tried our best to keep her out of the loop, but she always said that they still had lingering feelings. I hoped Hoseok was handling this news well. He seemed fine, happy even, so I just rolled with it. If he had a problem, I was sure I would have heard about it by now.

“Speaking of Hoseok,” The humorous tone in Andy’s voice caught my full attention. “Apparently, Jin saw him at The Rabbit Hole with some blonde girl before you got into town. He just remembered to tell me last night.”

This was news to me. Wracking my brain, I tried to figure out if he had brought up a date, or even a person he might be interested in, but nothing came up. Shrugging, I let it go. It was probably just some girl he picked up at the bar. Still, that would be an expensive date.

“He hasn’t told me anything about that,” I murmured.

“Might be why he’s not bothered by new boyfriend.”

I laughed, “Or it could be that they’ve moved on.”

“Oh, please,” She pulled a face, eyes rolling to the back of her head. “We all know that’s not true. At least, not until recently.”

“Regardless,” I sighed, grabbing my purse and walking out of the front door. “It’s none of our business. If they’re happy that’s all that matters.”

Andy raspberried, “Boo. I hate it when you’re all mature and adult-like.”

“And right,” I joked. “Don’t forget about that part.”

Locking up my little house, I made my way through the Anderson’s. Violet was watching the Golden Girls on the couch while Calvin was reading a book beside her. It was a sweet scene that made me smile. I wanted what they had.

I gave them a smile and wave as I passed by. Violet returned it in full, her eyes kind and gentle, before going back to her show. Calvin put his book down and asked what time I was planning on coming back. He wanted to keep an eye out for my car.

“Around midnight,” I replied, moving my phone away from my mouth. Andrea was rambling about the new doctor on staff. I trusted her disdain enough to know he was a huge dick. “See you two tomorrow.”

“Be safe out there,” He replied, going back to his copy of The Catcher and the Rye.

Andy and I were on the phone for the entire car ride into Ann Arbor. I enjoyed hearing her voice, the small distraction welcome when I felt my anxiety spike. Thankfully it was a Sunday night, and the streets were somewhat empty.

Once I got into the downtown area, I drowned out her voice completely. Andrea never minded. She just kept talking like I hadn’t stepped out of whatever conversation we were just having. Never got mad when I kept asking her to repeat herself either. She was a wonderful friend to me, and I was grateful to have her in my life. If I moved to Saline, she would be the person I missed the most.

I still hadn’t talked to anyone else about the possibility of moving. I was not sure how they would react, and I needed to have my mind made up before giving any of them the news. While I knew Andy and Jin would be supportive, and Tilly and Minho wouldn’t really care all that much (it just gave them an excuse to vacation in Michigan), it was Hoseok I was most on the fence about.

With him it could go either way. He would either be really happy and supportive or call me crazy. It came from a place of love, and I respected his opinion more than any of the others, so I had to be completely sure of myself before getting into something like that with him. If he thought for a second I was rushing into things he would go into overprotective, big brother mode and kill all of my excitement. He might even be able to change my mind if he fought hard enough.

Pulling up to the restaurant, I was impressed by the sheer size of it. One half looked like an old warehouse while the other half was a small, white bricked building. A red neon sign glowed in the night and a large party was hanging out outside of the building. I could see Jimin in their little group and smiled. He was a very popular man in this area and was able to make new friends wherever he went. If I had to guess, he knew someone and is now best friends with all of them.

“Hey, I just got to the restaurant. I’m going to let you go.”

“Okay, baby,” Andy replied. “Have fun. Talk to you later.”

“Text you when I get home,” I replied.

Andy was as hypervigilant about getting texts as I was. She was on staff at the hospital when Namjoon and I first arrived. I can’t remember anything from that night after getting in Joon’s car, but when Jin and I spoke about it he said Andy was one of the nurses having to help triage me. She had to be physically pulled away from my body once the doctors found out about our connection, but the image of my body that night is burned into her mind. She was the person who took care of me the most upon release and quit her job at the hospital for a little while in order to make sure I was well taken care of. Calls and texts were just our thing now and I always felt horrible for being part of such a traumatic event for her.

“Love you,” She said.

“Love you too,” I replied, hanging up.

Getting out of my car, I locked the doors and made my way over to Jimin. He caught sight of me before I reached the small group and broke out into a huge, heart stopping smile. Unable to stop myself, I smiled back and waved awkwardly. He said something to the group before meeting me halfway.

“Hey, you,” He said, wrapping his arms around me. “You look really pretty.”

I laughed nervously, squeezing his waist. “Thanks. I tried my best.”

Pulling away, I was able to admire him a bit better. He was wearing light jeans tonight, a rarity as he preferred sweatpants and slacks, and a black t-shirt. A leather jacket was a staple in his wardrobe, and he always said they kept him warm enough. I never believed him. As always, everything was a tight fit and showed off his body perfectly.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” I said once my appraisal was finished. “Nice boots. Where’d you get them?”

He looked down at the black, Chelsea boots and shrugged, “Nordstrom, I think. Taehyung got them for me a few Christmases ago.”

Of course he did.

“Let’s go inside. I’m cold.”

Jimin laughed, “My apologies, ma’am.”

The restaurant was packed, but Jimin had arrived thirty minutes early to get us on their waitlist, so I only had to wait five minutes for our table to be ready. Jimin brushed off the gesture as first date etiquette, but I knew better. The kid was late to everything and yet he got here early so I wouldn’t have to stand outside in the cold. It almost made me reach out and hold his hand, but my nerves got the best of me. We were at our table before I could gather up some courage, leaving a disappointed, bitter taste in my mouth.

“I’m feeling Disco Fries as an app. You?”

Searching the menu for them, I nodded. “That sounds really good.”

We were quiet for a few minutes as we decided on what we wanted. The menu here was rather large, filled with Mexican foods and copious BBQ items. Having never been here before I had no clue what was good and what hasn’t, but from how many people were here I had to assume nothing was bad.

“Know what you want?” Jimin asked, breaking the silence.

I shook my head, “No idea. What about you?”

“I get the same thing every time I come,” He laughed. “The Korean BBQ Burger is really fucking good. I also like the enchiladas.”

Finding both items, my mouth watered. Everything sounded amazing, but I wanted to get a little out of my comfort zone. I just had burgers yesterday, so I was not feeling that. Maybe BBQ? Looking at the options, I shook my head. I could not eat a half pound of anything. Biting the dry skin on my lips, my brain felt like it was working on overdrive. Too many options.

“Welcome to Union Rec,” I jumped a little, startled. “I’m Annie and I’ll be your server tonight.”

My eyes locked with a pair of baby blues, and I immediately recognized her. She was the brunette from the bar a couple of months ago. Eyes sliding from me, she landed on Jimin and the bored expression on her face morphed into one of pure bliss. I did not understand why she had given me that nasty look back then, but it was much clearer to me now. She had a thing for Jimin. Remembering she had a boyfriend, one she screamed at over the phone, it made me feel nauseous. Poor Tom.

“Oh my gosh, Christian. What are you doing here?” She asked, sneaking a look at me.

“Got a hot date,” He replied cheekily, gesturing his hand my way. “You remember Y/N, right?”

She gave me one of those tight-lipped, fake smiles. I returned the favor. I was not really jealous per say, Jimin’s declaration making any possibility of that disappear, but I did not appreciate anyone trying to make me feel small. I was a gold medalist. I was a fucking Olympian. Whoever the hell this chick thought she was, I would make sure she never thought for a second she got under my skin.

“Yeah, we met at Brecon’s,” Annie replied, completely ignoring me. “Thought she was your coach.”

Jimin either did not catch the insult or he was choosing to ignore it. His smile was still just as pleasant as it was when we first sat down. I envied his ability to keep his emotions so controlled. I knew I must have been glaring at the poor girl.

“She is,” He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean she’s not my girlfriend. Are you taking our order or…?”

Annie spluttered for a second before regaining her composure. All affection in her eyes was gone and replaced by irritation. It was definitely directed at me, but Jimin’s dismissal must have stung. I was happy to be rid of her. Putting in our order for Disco fries, Jimin got a Sprite and Annie left before I could ask for a drink. Sipping on my complimentary water, I forced myself to breathe in and out. She was just a petty, annoyed girl with a crush. That was all. So, what if she was being rude? I was fine. Everything was fine. After the fifth sip, I actually believed it.

Trying to keep my tongue in check, I went back to looking through the menu. Finally able to make a choice, I decided on the birria beef ramen and closed the menu. Hopefully little miss Annie wouldn’t spit in it. Hot again, I took another long sip of water.

“Excuse me.”

Jimin flagged down another waiter, a pleasant smile on his face. Confused, I put down the glass and raised an eyebrow. He winked at me before laying the charm on thick.

“Hey Marty. Would you mind if we got a different server?”

The young girl nodded frantically, “Of course. Is everything okay?”

Jimin smiled, eyes like crescents. “Everything is fine. Just Annie on her bullshit. Don’t want to get her fired by talking to your dad.”

Marty rolled her eyes, “Figures. I’ll tell her I’m taking care of you guys. Just don’t expect me to be running around for you, man. I have an entire section by myself.”

“I want privacy anyway,” Jimin replied, smirking at me. “Thanks. I’ll tip you well.”

She laughed, “Just make sure you put it in my hand. That bitch has been stealing tips. Cosette is trying to convince pops to fire her, but you know how he is about the girl.”

Jimin shook his head, “I already know. Can you get my girl a drink? Annie ran off without taking her order.”

Marty looked at me, her deadpan stare making me burst into laughter. Apparently, it wasn’t just me. That helped.

“Sorry about her. She’s a massive bitch. What can I get you?”

I smiled, my mood a million times better, “Iced tea, please.”

“You got it, babe. You ready to order?”

Marty took our orders and promised to be back with my drink soon.

“How do you two know each other?” I asked Jimin, finishing off my water.

“We were in the same class back in high school. Her mom owns that flower shop on Michigan Avenue.”

That was surprising. I was positive the girl was no older than eighteen. She reminded me of a porcelain doll, her chubby cheek and big eyes adding something angelic to her overall look. Then again, Jimin did not look all that old either. It was easy to forget he just turned 24. The age gap was really messing with my brain.

Annie was back with Jimin’s drink a few minutes later. She said nothing when she practically slammed his cup on the table before stalking off. It was then that I knew who she reminded me of. Darcy. I wondered if they were friends. Definitely had the same attitude problem, that was for sure.

“Ignore her,” Jimin told me once she was out of earshot. “I’ve been doing it since middle school.”

The rest of our dinner went back without a hitch. With Annie out of the way, and Marty’s small and infrequent check-in’s, we were able to be in a bubble of sorts. He asked about my trip back home and filled me in on what happened over the weekend. He had finally told his parents about our date and said that his mom thought it was a great idea. James called me perfect a few times, too. I had a hard time believing it, but Jimin had never lied to me before. It was nice to know the people around him accepted me even if I was a few years older.

“My mom’s 9 years older than my dad,” He revealed in between bites of food.

Shocked, I stopped eating all together. I had no idea they were that different in age. Ne-Yeon looked so youthful and pretty it was hard to guess just how old she actually was. Even fighting cancer, that woman did not look a day over 40. James was also in great shape for his age. To hear they had their own age gap made me feel a little bit better.

“Wait,” Something else occurred to me. “Your mom was in her forties when she had you?”

Jimin nodded, “45. She had Haru at 48.”

It made sense to me now. To Jimin, our age gap was nothing special. It was smaller than his parents’, and having an older mother did not bother him at all. In his eyes, we had all of the time in the world for marriage and kids. A small weight came off of my shoulders. It really did not mean anything to him. He was not just saying that to make me feel better either.

“Do you want dessert?” He asked, his plate empty in front of him.

I was almost done with my bowl, “What do they have?”

He squinted his eyes, thinking.

“I know they have this horchata banana pudding. It’s literally the best dessert I’ve ever had in my life. There are a few other things, but I can’t remember what they are.”

I chuckled, “Then we’ll have the banana pudding.”

Jimin was not exaggerating either. The pudding was delicious. I almost wished we had each gotten our own serving, but after seeing the bill we were happy we hadn’t. Jimin paid this time. We had a back-and-forth deal when it came to meals. I got us breakfast last Wednesday, so he was picking up this bill. This was, unfortunately, much higher than Denny’s.

“I’ll put gas in your truck,” I offered on our way out. “To make up for the difference from Denny’s.”

He scoffed, “Don’t worry about it.”

“But-”

“We’re together now,” He interrupted me. “If I want to pay for a meal, then I will. You don’t have to pay me back.”

“We’ve always done that,” I argued.

“That was before,” He countered, walking me to my car door and opening it. “This is now. And right now, I’m trying to take a pretty girl, in a pretty dress, on a nice date. That includes paying for her meal.”

Getting into my seat, I pointed out that I let him do the gentleman thing all of the time. Opening my door for me, pulling chairs out at restaurants, and even walking on the curbside when we were out together. The list was endless. The least I could do was pay for half of a meal.

“I don’t do those things to get on your good side,” Jimin replied. “I do them because I want to. This isn’t transactional. So, stop worrying about being a burden. I enjoy taking care of you. You deserve to be taken care of.”

I could not think of a good enough comeback, so I just decided to drop it. If he wanted to pay for me then he could. It was his money to spend.

“Send me your address.”

“You still want to come over?” He seemed surprised.

“Yeah,” I nodded, already pulling up the GPS. “What is it?”

He sounded like Charlie when he won the golden ticket as he gave me his address.

“Don’t get too excited now,” I joked. “Just because I’m coming over doesn’t mean anything.”

Jimin laughed, “I pretend I don’t even know what sex is until after date three, so don’t worry about it.”

That made me laugh, “Get in your truck. I’ll meet you there.”

Looking back at him, I felt giddy. His eyes were so alight, his joy written so clearly across his face it took my breath away. A happy Jimin was the only kind I wanted to see. Blowing caution to the wind, I finally reached out. Touching his stomach, I felt the muscles clench beneath my fingers.

“Thank you,” I said earnestly.

“What for?” He rasped, placing one hand over mine, pressing my hand further into his skin.

“For-” I broke off, taking my hand away. The feeling of him underneath me was too much. “For being so accommodating. I really appreciate it.”

He laughed, the sound strained and airy. I was too embarrassed by my actions to look at his face, but I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my eyes. Unlike me, Jimin was always brave. Hopefully some of that confidence would rub off on me. Maybe then I could reach out and hold him whenever I wanted to.

“You’re welcome,” He replied, and my thighs clenched together at how rough he sounded. Did touching him do that? Or was it the praise? It could be both. “Drive safe, okay? You can follow me if that helps.”

I nodded, swallowing. The icy air outside did nothing to put out the blistering heat coursing between us right now. It was overwhelming how hot it was. Turning up my A/C, I pointed the vent directly at my face.

“See you in a few minutes,” I breathed, still unable to look at him.

Jimin closed my door, and I leaned back in my seat breathing heavily. I watched him as he rounded the front of my car, those pants sticking to his legs like a second skin and groaned. I had never felt this level of desire for anyone before.

He reminded me so much of Namjoon. His beautiful brain and love for music and poetry so reminiscent it managed to bring me back to happier times. In the beginning I was afraid my attraction to him stemmed from that link. Because he reminded me of something I had loved so dearly that meant what I was beginning to feel was just a projection.

I was wrong. So unbelievably wrong. Jimin had a passion that Joon could never replicate. If Joon was a warm blanket, then Jimin was like the tide in the sea. On the surface it was calm, steady, and beautiful. Underneath that was life like nothing I had ever seen before. He was refreshing and filled with this fire for life that reminded me of my own from years ago.

Namjoon was perfect, a boy-next-door, and soft spoken. Back then I had enough of that passion for the both of us. Now I saw more and more parallels between us than ever before. I was uncertain, waiting for someone else to bring excitement back into my life, too afraid to reach out and take what I wanted anymore.

And then Jimin was there with that big smile willing to take me on whatever adventure I desired. All I had to do was ask. It was exhilarating, fun, and I was happy to be a part of the ride. His softness, his kindness, his understanding- all of it wrapped up in a pretty red bow. A gift that kept on giving.

I did not love Jimin, but I knew then that I could. With his sharp tongue and charisma, it was impossible not to. Everyone else did. Who was I to think I could be any different? I was a slave to his happiness. It was in that moment, sitting in my car, that I finally understood what was happening.

I was falling in love and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio @tae-with-some-suga @sumzysworld @chimmisbae

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personasintro · 1 year ago

Text

Mutual Help | #32

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.4k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢

The first message full of shock comes from Jimin, sometime in the middle of the week after you've had the time to look at your phone. Clicking on the message he sent you, your brows furrow in a slight confusion as a picture comes into view. You quickly realize it's a screenshot, not just an ordinary screenshot though. It's from Jungkook's Instagram.

Jiminie: wtf are you guys back together???

There's no doubt that you're not the one in the picture holding hands with Jungkook. You would know if you were the one in it, but you know very well who it is. The picture itself is simple but soft at the same time, them holding hands as a sunset shines in the background making it more artistic and beautiful. He captioned it with a simple heart emoji, not tagging her or anything that could reveal the true identity of a person he's holding hands with.

"no, it's not me" you reply back, nibbling on your bottom lip wondering if it's your place to reveal Jungkook's mysterious 'new girlfriend'. Surely, Jimin is going to be curious who it is when it's not you and your assumption proves to be right when a new message comes up on your screen.

Jiminie: he's got a new girlfriend already??? who is it?

Deciding that Jungkook wouldn't post that picture in the first place if he didn't want anyone to know yet, your thumbs hover over the screen for a few seconds before you think 'fuck it' and type your answer.

"it's Kiko"

The three dots appear instantly and then they're gone, obviously describing Jimin's shock before your phone is flooded with a set of new messages.

Jiminie: kiko???

Jiminie: you can't be serious

Jiminie: please tell me this is a joke

Jiminie: wtf

Jiminie: this has to be a joke right??!!

Jiminie: are you okay?

Right, he thinks you and Jungkook were dating forreal, he doesn't know about the deal and that you're not heartbroken like you probably should be. That's if you were his real girlfriend in the first place.

And you do feel bad about not telling him the truth, but you and Jungkook had a deal where you both agreed not to tell anyone. Plus, a message is not a place to reveal such a thing. You know you can trust Jimin, he wouldn't tell anyone if you told him what it was really about but you're not in the mood to make any fuss about it.

"I am, don't worry about me :) I'm really fine" you assure him, knowing he probably doesn't believe you until he talks to you about it in person but fortunately, he lets it go and sends you a thumbs up.

You tuck your phone back into your jeans before your name resounds in the room, Junho calling for you with his usual frown.

"Y/N? Can you please help us?"

You nod, ignoring the way he's glaring at you for using your phone when it's not your break yet. Coming into the room full of people and a few models, you notice Yoongi standing beside Junho with his impressed look and you just know he's mentally sending curses at Junho for bossing around everyone, barking orders.

The chattering of people fills the room, along with clicking sounds and occasional phone beeping that makes you sight at the distracting sounds. The pencil in your hands clicks against your wooden desk, staring at the blank paper in front of you. Your body craves for some more caffeine, in desperate need to wake you up from your slumber and lack of inspirational state. You're supposed to come with new location ideas for the next photoshoot in less than a week, the deadline slowly making you lose your cool. The cold weather narrowed a lot of options for you. You've barely managed to come up with two ideas, the very ones that are sitting at the bottom of your desk in hope you'll come up with something better.

Looking at the time on your phone, you sigh when you still got twenty minutes into a break. Someone would surely notice if you'd just stand up and make your way to the cafeteria area.

Your boss wouldn't surely appreciate seeing you there before your actual break time. Just as thoughts whether you should risk it or not, Junho walks on your floor with a man beside him. Your brows furrowing in confusion, trying to identify him from a distance, the realization makes you confused even more.

Jungkook walks beside your boss, a camera securely held in his hands before he takes it with one hand, shaking your boss' with the other one. With a sweet smile, which is hard to see from him, he waves at him before he disappears behind the corner, probably going back to his office.

He stands there, looking around with slightly scrunched eyes and soon enough, his eyes find yours before a wide grin spreads on his lips. He's walking towards you, catching some of your co-workers' eyes at the new face but he ignores them, grinning at you.

"Hey, slacker." he greets you, setting his camera onto your desk. Slacker. Has he met Yoongi?

"What are you doing here?" you ask him confusingly, not believing that Jungkook is in the same building as you. You've never seen him here before and it's quite a surprise.

"The company asked me if I could shoot models," he answers with a shrug, looking around since this is the first time he's here. "I was so surprised when they called me. I was thinking about telling you when we were on the phone the other day, but I thought surprising you would be better." he grins, obviously pleased with his plan when he sees your confused frown and open mouth.

It's no lie Jungkook has many experiences taking photos of models. In addition to weddings and other celebration events, he used to take photos of his pretty classmates back in college while he added those pictures to his portfolio. Those girls looked like models for sure, posed like they've been doing it for years or maybe it was just Jungkook's great skills of photographing and editing. You vividly remember him shooting a few models when he worked for some modeling company for over a year. He used to add those pictures on his Instagram, earning him exposure and a couple of hundred new followers.

"How did I not know about this?" you ask, the question more aimed at Junho and the rest of the team since you usually would know if there were any changes with the photographer.

Jungkook shrugs, "They told me the previous photographer got sick or something. I don't really care though, this company pays so well." he beams, visibly enthusiastic about the pay but can you blame him?

Snorting, you shake your head at him. "Are you scheduled for the photoshoot that's in twenty minutes?" you ask him curiously.

"Yeah, your boss just went over some of his ideas, mainly informing me about the theme and things like that. Is he the one you complained about?" he asks, making sure none of your co-workers could hear him, even though they would most likely agree with you.

Junho can be a real asshole, especially when he's stressed and thinks everyone is his servant. "Yeah."

"He wasn't that bad." Jungkook shrugs and you recall him smiling at your best friend, a very rare sight if someone asks you.

"Trust me, he's usually a dick. It must be because you're either a stranger or because he's in a good mood." you point out.

"It's my charm," he grins, sitting at the edge of your desk as you take his appearance into account.

For today, he swapped his usual cargo pants and oversized hoodie (among other pieces of clothes that he seems to love) with black jeans and denim jacket with a white shirt tucked underneath. Still, you notice his favorite black boots that he seems to wear all the time and it makes the corner of your lips tug upwards.

"People love me." he adds, causing you to snort.

"Oh, get over yourself," you roll your eyes at his confidence as he's joking of course, scrunching his nose a bit at that while he laughs. "Jimin texted me the other day," you start once the two of you calm down, Jungkook's eyes looking at you with interest. "He saw the picture of you and Kiko."

"Yeah," he chuckles lightly, looking down at his lap for a moment. "He spammed me with messages asking if it's really her."

"Sorry, I was the one who told him it's her. He texted me and I didn't know what to say, I didn't really wanna lie to him." you confess, seeing him giving you a wave and tells you not to worry about it.

"I'd told him, it's not like it's a secret or something. Don't worry about it." He gives you a smile.

"So, how are you guys?" you ask, trying to give him a smile back but you rather focus your eyes on your desk as you let go of the pen and lean yourself against the chair.

Over the week, you barely had spoken together, mainly over a text or you sending to each other meme pictures. Thus, you never had a chance to really ask how their relationship is going so far. The last time you talked about it was at the bar and then none of you brought it. There never was a reason to bring it up to be honest, it doesn't seem like a topic to go through a text. Or maybe Jungkook purposely doesn't bring her up knowing you're not very fond of her and it's still new.

"Good, I took her on a date yesterday," he answers sheepishly (or maybe cautiously) but then when he sees you nod, he continues. "Like I said, we're taking it slow. She's supposed to come over tonight for the first time since, you know... we broke up."

Come over, huh? Well, it's not like she hasn't been there before. She used to practically live there and she would, if Jungkook had the chance to ask her to move in. It's just a matter of time before Jungkook will think about asking her again, that's if their relationship will be good like he's hoping it'd be.

"Are you nervous?" you ask curiously, noticing how the amusement that was there just a few minutes ago is gone.

"No," he quickly disagrees, "I just wonder how it'll go, I guess. I mean... the dates have been amazing but I'm more cautious now. Does that make sense?" he lets out a chuckle, but it comes out nervous and maybe even embarrassed.

It makes your features soften as you give him a gentle smile. "Of course, it does. It's only fair for you to be cautious." you assure him.

However, if he's going to feel cautious for the rest of their relationship, you don't see how that'll do any good. On the other hand, you see that he's trying and he definitely doesn't need your honest opinion about it, or more likely hear it since he probably knows it by now. All he needs is support and maybe someone that won't judge him for his decision.

"But I'm excited too, don't get me wrong. But it feels so weird at the same time. Anyway, it's going to be a chill evening, maybe we'll watch a few movies or something." he shrugs, a little pout on his lips as he seems unsure about tonight's plans.

You nod along his words, trying not to let them affect you so much. You wonder if he's going to call you to watch a movie sometime like he used to. There are still some doubts you have, wondering if he's not going to neglect you like the first time.

"Mr. Jeon, are you ready?" Junho calls, visibly trying to mask the surprise of you knowing Jungkook and how close you seem to be, considering he's sitting on the edge of your desk while you're slouched on the chair, a complete opposite of your usual ladylike appearance.

You cough, straightening yourself while Jungkook snickers underneath his breath at you.

"Yeah, sure." he calls out to Junho, turning to him briefly before he grins at you.

"Go on, Mr. Jeon before he'll bite off your head for making him wait." you joke underneath your breath, Jungkook giving you a playful roll of your eyes.

"See ya." he waves at you and you do the same thing, not really sure if his words are just an empty promise. It's in the stars when you'll see him again.

As you're chilling on your couch later that evening, too caught up with watching a new movie while stuffing yourself with ramen, surrounded by no one's presence but your own, your phone that's been sitting on the coffee table for quite some time vibrates with a new message. You're halfway with getting noodles into your mouth as you glance at your phone, Jungkook's name flashing on your screen.

Maybe the universe listened to your silenced thoughts that you've never spoken loudly, because they're exactly that. Silenced thought. Perhaps, it's Jungkook's way of telling you that time things could be different. Or maybe that you underestimated him too soon.

Kook: karaoke night on friday? jimin and tae could tag along too

Putting down the chopsticks, you pick up the phone and unlock it before staring at the message for a moment when the screen illuminates your face. You don't realize that you stare at the message, the movie long forgotten and is just a blunt noise in the background. It's understatement you're quite surprised by his message, considering you thought he'd be spending his Friday night with his girlfriend.

Your thoughts are interrupted with Jungkook's name flashing on your screen, this time in a form of incoming call which you take with a grin spreading on your most likely stained lips from ramen. Before you can say something, Jungkook is already one step ahead of you.

"You know I can see you read my text?" he asks amusingly and you can picture his own grin perfectly, hearing it clearly in his voice.

Snorting, you reach for the controller and pause the movie. "Too scared I would left you on read?" you joke, hearing him feign an offended and dramatic gasp.

"You wouldn't!" he continues, causing you to laugh at him before his own laugh boosts through the speaker. "Well, I'm deeply disappointed. I was looking forward to singing our hearts out on Friday night."

Your shoulders shake at the chuckle you let out, amused with your best friend. "I was about to reply to you," you inform him, smiling as you say it which he can certainly hear. "Guess I had to process your text, you surprised me." you joke, with no intention to let out a bitter remark.

Frankly, it's not a bitter remark and it surely hasn't sounded like one, the light and amused tone is just enough evidence that you meant no harm. And Jungkook knows that, yet he catches onto the double meaning of your words and hears the unsure and nervous chuckle you give him, once you realize how it sounded.

"Y/N," he calls out softly, making you feel like an idiot for even saying such a thing.

You nibble on your bottom lip, not sure what to say.

"I told you, I'm not neglecting you again,"

It's weird. Jungkook is probably the only person who can read you so accurately, almost as if he knows what's going through your head.

And you smile, letting out a puff of breath that you've been holding since he called out your name. He tells you he's not taking a no for an answer, causing you to giggle while a clear happiness erupts in your chest.

Perhaps, this time will be different after all.

"I had fun tonight, thank you." Kiko's soft voice reaches Jungkook's ears as soon as he turns off the engine, turning his head to look at her with a gentle smile.

"I had fun too," It had been a casual evening spent watching a movie, talking and joking around, maybe a few innocent kisses here and there. He even hesitated when he gathered his car keys to take her home, thinking about asking her to stay over but then he had to remind himself he wants to take it slow. Of course, it doesn't mean her sleeping over has to end with them sleeping together. He's not quite sure he's ready for that, even though he prayed he wouldn't sport a boner whenever they kissed.

He still has a lot of things to figure out, first he had to make sure he actually doesn't feel repulsed kissing her. He doesn't. He had found kissing her easy and natural, no thought of someone else crossed his mind while their lips were moving together. That's a good thing.

Jungkook is the one who asked to take things slow, Kiko is just respecting it and doesn't want to cross any boundaries, realizing how lucky she is right now. She even thinks to ask him to come up for a moment but she refuses it, Jungkook's request repeating in her mind.

They stare at each other, Jungkook's eyes dropping down at her lips before he leans towards her. She meets him halfway, letting their lips meet for the last time tonight. It's slow and tender, full of emotions as Jungkook cups her face while unbuckling his seatbelt to get closer to her.

As much as tonight has been nice, nicer and more comfortable than Jungkook thought, he still spent some time wondering how he feels about certain things. Of course, he wanted her and he is happy. For the first time, he doesn't feel heartbroken when he stares into her brown eyes. Forgiven but not forgotten, just like he said to her when they met up for dinner. Therefore, he's had enough time to think about how he wants this to work.

He's aware of Kiko patiently waiting on any more requests coming from him. She's determined to listen to him and do everything in her power to save their relationship.

"I don't want to know," he whispers when he slightly pulls away from her lips, their foreheads pressed together while he inhales her sweet perfume. She smells like roses.

He recognizes confusion in her eyes, causing him to clear his throat before he lets out a light sigh. "I don't want to know who it was. I don't want to know anything about it. The less I know is better. Then I won't be thinking about it that much."

She pulls away with a pained expression, nodding along his words to let him know she understands and will fully respect that. She doesn't want to bring it up either, she's ashamed and perhaps she'd want to clear some things out after all, but like Jungkook said... the less he knows is better.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, leaning back in the seat as she stares out of the window at the apartment building she lives at. "I'm so sorry."

There's nothing for Jungkook to say. He doesn't want to say 'it's okay' because it's not. Maybe someone would call him stupid for getting back to her, but he's not that stupid to persuade her that what she has done is okay. She hurt him and she's able to see that whenever she looks into his deep eyes. Still, the young couple believes their love is stronger than this. They're surely not the first couple to get back together under such circumstances. Only a few people would truly understand their – Jungkook's decision.

"What's done is done," he says, briefly looking in front of him before he looks back at her. "I want this to work."

She nods, agreeing with him. "Of course, I want that too."

"Just... don't break my heart again." he mumbles softly, looking down at his lap.

Someone would say Jungkook is a tough man, especially when seeing his build figure and tattoos covering his skin. But he's got more layers than that, he's not a tough man at all actually. However, only a few people know that Jungkook is quite sensitive.

"I won't," she says determined but still softly, "I'd never do such a thing."

"But you did." Jungkook says, his brows frowning. He doesn't mean to sound like he's blaming her again, all he wants is to not think about it that much and maybe learn how to live with it. But it'll take time.

"I'd never do such a thing again," she corrects herself, taking his hands in hers. The size of their hands is almost funny but Jungkook stares at them with soft eyes. "I'll do whatever you want me to, Kookie. Just say the word. I love you so much, I'm sorry I hurt you."

She told him that a couple of times, she's just making sure he knows that.

He nods, wishing he could trust her just like that but she'll have to earn it. Words are not enough, it's the actions. So, for the last time tonight they kiss and it's full of pain, but of love as well. Giving him that tiny assurement that things are able to get better. Maybe it'll hunt him for quite some time but if he wants her, he'll have to learn how to accept it and live with it.

And maybe it'll destroy him or just prove him that he's not stupid for making that decision, but strong instead. And full of love too.

"Come on, Y/N! One song!"

You roll your eyes for the hundredth time at your best friend, sinking in your seat beside Jimin and Taehyung in hope their bodies could swallow you whole and your best friend would not be able to see you.

"I'm not drunk enough for this!" you reason, hearing Taehyung and Jimin laugh.

What, they know it's true. Jungkook knows that too. You've to at least have some alcohol inside you to be able to sing aloud in front of them, especially when Jungkook sings freaking good. You'd sound like a broken siren beside Jungkook, you're not ready for that embarrassment while being sober.

Jungkook cackles, putting down the mic. "Coming right up." he sings, opening the mini fridge in the small karaoke room that you rented for today's evening.

He pulls out a beer and hands it to you, in hope you'll sing your heart out with him soon. As much as he's enjoying singing with Taehyung and Jimin, the two of you are crazy whenever it's karaoke night.

"Okay, let's sing... Candy Shop!" Jimin yells excitedly, already turning on the song as he grabs one of the mics. "You, get drunk!" he points at you, raising a brow as you chuckle and open the beer for yourself, taking a gulp. "Let's go boys!"

You watch the three of them rapping, Jimin imitating the woman's voice while you record them, cackling on the small black leather sofa. He starts wiggling his ass, Jungkook not being able to sing how much he's laughing while Taehyung tries his best, singing and laughing at the same time. Their faces are red, their laughs filling up the room with your own as Jimin turns to you, wiggling his brows.

"Oh no!" you yell, already putting your legs up but Jimin slaps your legs back down, his ass right in front of you as he's giving you a lap dance while trying to rap the song.

You laugh, your stomach hurting while you flick off Taehyung when you notice him recording it. Knowing him, he's already posting it on his Instagram stories. Jungkook throws his head back, laughing as he claps excitedly, finding your red cheeks more than amusing.

Idiots. But they're your idiots.

One hour later and your third can of beer, things progressed a lot. You're no longer sitting and laughing at your friends, saving your own embarrassment for later.

"Are they... fucking serious?" Jimin mumbles with bewilderment on his face, watching you and Jungkook jumping while singing one of Rihanna's songs.

"We found love in a hopeless place, We found love in a hopeless place!" you both sing, gripping your mics tightly while you're too close to each other, noses almost touching.

You can feel Jungkook's breath on your face, his cologne hitting your nose while you both act dramatically just for the song. Completely clueless to your two other friends in the room that stare at you totally dumbfounded.

"Didn't they... break up?" Taehyung asks, leaning towards Jimin while he shares the same look of confusion, sitting on the couch beside his friend.

"They did," Jimin answers, seeing the two of you jumping as the chorus starts to play. "It's better than some tension or hatred feelings between them, right?" he asks unsurely, still finding it weird the two of you are completely fine when you were dating only recently.

"It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny, but I've gotta let it go!" Your voice boosts through speakers, your hand dramatically touching Jungkook's side of face while he plays along, leaning to your touch.

It's crazy that you keep going, even after singing top hits for the last half an hour. You're both breathless, your hair disheveled as if you've ran a marathon but all you've done so far is jump around and dance.

Jungkook looks somehow similar to you, his hair put in a bun to keep it from his face. His cheeks flushed, both from the alcohol and from the constant singing and dancing.

God, you just hope you won't get kicked out of this place. You're sure the two of you can be heard from the outside, but you can't bring yourself to care. One, you're already drunk and two, you're having fun. The song ends sooner than you wanted it to and you quickly pick another one, seeing Jungkook grinning from the corner of your eyes as he starts to stretch, preparing for another round of wild singing and dancing.

Jimin and Taehyung are watching you, but the two of you are too busy to notice that look on their faces.

"'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need, chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why," you and Jungkook sing together, already somewhere around the tenth song by now. "If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"

"They're so fucking weird." Taehyung comments, staring with his big eyes at the two of you.

Jungkook grabs the back of your head, bringing you closer to him while you giggle while singing, your fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt.

"It's them," Jimin shrugs, taking a gulp from his own beer. "They have always been different than most best friends."

"Yeah, they're exes now too." Taehyung deadpans while Jimin rolls his eyes, but silently agrees with his younger friend.

After the song ends, Jungkook proudly declares he's going to "take a piss" (his words) causing Taehyung to tell him he's going too, leaving you and Jimin alone. You plop next to Jimin, pouting when he hands you an orange juice instead of a beer can. You've had enough, you can feel it that you're getting sleepy as soon as you allow your body to relax. However, with alcohol in your system you wouldn't be too opposed to drinking some more.

Unfortunately for a drunk you, Jimin already knows you by now and even offers you some crackers which you decline, sipping on orange juice.

"Are you and Jungkook really fine?" He takes the privacy of the room to address his confusion and worry, seeing you lean against the sofa before you glance at him with a slight frown.

"Yeah," you nod, "I already told you." You did, through text. He wants to see and hear you saying it.

"But he's back with Kiko." he points out as if you didn't know, causing you to chuckle as you shake your head.

"No, shit, Sherlock. I know." you laugh, met with Jimin's frown as he seems completely dumbfounded all over again.

"And you're not a little bit hurt by that? I'm sorry, I just find it hard to believe that you don't care and are completely fine with it."

"I'm not," you shrug, sweeping a few hair strands off your face that manage to fall out of your messy bun. "But just because she cheated. He doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve him." you slur out honestly, shrugging as Jimin nods agreeing.

"Yeah, but that's it? That's the only reason you don't like them together?"

Perhaps you're drunk, but you're not stupid and recognize the hidden meaning behind Jimin's interrogation. "What are you on about, Jimin? Spill it out." you raise your brow at him, seeing him give you a little distressed look.

"Isn't it because... I don't know, you love him, maybe?"

You almost choke on your spit, Jimin patting your back once you almost shoot from your seat, staring at you with wide and worried eyes. "You good?"

Ignoring his question, you glare at Jimin. "I don't love Jungkook." you inform him, causing his mouth to open.

"You don't?"

"No," you shrug, "I mean... I don't love him like that."

"And how do you love him then?" he asks confusingly.

"Like a best friend." you answer casually, deciding to taste the bacon flavored crackers after all.

You stuff your mouth, ignoring Jimin's eyes on you. "But you were dating." he points out.

It makes you snort but you don't comment any further. "Yeah, and we're not anymore. We're best friends."

"But didn't you guys love each other when you were dating?"

You turn to him, glaring at him as he quickly jumps to explain himself. "Sorry, I just thought you wouldn't be dating if you guys didn't love each other or had any deeper feelings for each other. You wouldn't risk your friendship like that."

You pause, stopping your chewing before you swallow it slowly. But Jimin sees the way you froze for a second and that's all he needs to confirm his suspicion. "You're not telling me something." It's not a question, it's a realization.

"Jimin," you sigh, mentally cursing yourself for not controlling your reactions better. But it's not fair of him to interrogate you while you're drunk.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me," he tells you softly, "But no matter what it is, you can tell me when you feel like it."

"I know," you tell him softly, giving him a faint smile. "Thank you, but I'm fine really." you assure him, earning a nod from him.

Wiping your sweaty hands against your jeans, you straighten yourself as Jungkook and Taehyung come back, grinning and laughing about something.

"You guys ready to go?" Taehyung asks, the only person completely sober since he's the driver for tonight.

You're sure you won't have any voice tomorrow morning, but surely will have a hangover from the alcohol you've drank tonight. Jimin helps you to get you to stand up, eyeing you worriedly when he sees you stumble but you laugh it off, leaning against Jungkook once everyone gets out of the room.

"I'm drunk," you comment while you wait for Taehyung and Jimin to pay for tonight, each of you splitting the bill beforehand.

Jungkook chuckles, holding you tighter when he feels you sliding down a bit.

"Today was fine. I mean fun." you blubber, causing Jungkook to hum while he stares at Taehyung and Jimin before glancing back at you.

Your eyes are already fluttering shut while a lazy smile makes its way on your lips.

"It was," he agrees grinning, "Let's get you home."

With Taehyung and Jimin approaching the two of you, you all are ready to go back home. They make sure you get into your apartment safely, bidding their goodbyes while you do the same thing, ready to take a shower and go straight to your soft bed.

You go to bed with a smile on your face, memories of tonight replaying in your head having no idea what the universe has prepared for the both of you.

#networkbangtan #ksmutclub #ficswithluv #btswritingcafe #bts smut #jungkook x reader #bts angst #bts fluff #bts au #jungkook fic #personasintro

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simp-ly-writes · 29 days ago

Text

The Comment Section (pt.6)

─────── · · A Social Media AU Fic

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you. Or when (yourshipname) gets messy after a drunken blur at the Oscars and a hate train...

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, hurt/comfort, angst, social media au, angst, twitter hate, suggestive themes, alcohol consumption, slowburn, light swearing, kissing, fluff, mutual pinning, friends that act like lovers, friends/lovers.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | PART 4.5 | PART FIVE | PART SEVEN

─ · · A/N: don't hate me after this one please! it gets better I swear!

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🔔 (name)s_username just posted for the first time in awhile.

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Liked by co_mill, spennser, sydney_sweeney, and others

(name)s_username we win these!! (your official best supporting actress of 2025- take that haters 😘).

View all 7,342 comments

spennser so fucking proud of you, couldn't think of anymore more deserving than you 🫶

↳ (name)s_username thank you- gosh you have my cryin' again 🫶 ↳ spennser need another hug? ↳ (name)s_username yes, please. ↳ spennser running over now. 🫶

co_mill you are THEE most outstanding person I know 🥹❤️

username44 HOLY SHIT!!!

username90 I screamed at my television when i heard that you won, i love you so much (name)!!

sydney_sweeney can't believe i had the honour to work with you and i am so happy so many others got to realize the pure talent you exude. first film and first oscar of many to come, im sure of it ❤️

↳ (name)s_username sydneyyy! you can't say these things to me- i'm already a mess. the real honour was getting to know, work, and learn with you! couldn't think of anyone else i would want to work with first other than you 🥰 ↳ sydney_sweeney i need another box of tissues, i'm a mess too 😂

username01 (name)!!! OMG I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.

shayne_topp do you think i could borrow that award for a smosh bit??

↳ (name)s_username ummm, sure?? should i be worried? ↳ shayne_topp 🤷 ↳ (name)s_username oh no...

anthonypadilla WTF??- nobody texted me about this earlier, holy fuck congratulations!!! 🎉

glen_powell you looked incredible while accepting that award, you are an inspiration. can't wait to see your next work and happy to know i was part of your journey ❤️

↳ (name)s_username i can't believe its over, thank you so much glenn, for everything. there's no greater first fictional "ex-husband" than you ❤️ XD

angelagiovanagiarratana theres no freaking way my best friend just did that. someone pinch me i am about to go insane /positive

─────── · ·

🔔 (name)s_username just posted!

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Liked by spennser, username01, shayne_topp and others

(name)s_username drunk in love... wait? or maybe just drunk...

View all 10,123 comments

co_mill teehee!! u are so cute.

sydney_sweeney me too babes, me too.

username70 wonder how long it'll be till (name) inevitably takes this post down like all the others...

username01 i have learned from my mistakes and have screenshotted every picture as photo evidence.

username66 kinda getting concerned of all the partying (name) and spencer have gotten into recently. but then again they have never experienced something like this before (on multiple levels 😉).

username30 what is even going on anymore??

username43 okay should I call 999, 911, or somethin'?

username00 never commented on anything but now. just hope you find what you need (name)...

spennser i am drunk.

↳ (name)s_username hahahhahahah! 😊 ↳ spennser 🫶 ↳ (name)s_username 🫶

username54 you both are so calling in sick tomorrow, and maybe the following few days after that.

filmingamanda text me or call me when you get back home please!

(name)s_username okay, okay, okay. ❤️❤️❤️

username90 kinda sad how they can only talk to one another when drunk, or well, you get what i mean...

↳ username23 yeah. ↳ username61 i know that feeling all too well. too scary to loose such a longterm friendship if things didn't work out. ↳ username00 but then you'll always stay dreaming, stay wondering what if it did? ↳ username61 this got deeper than I was expecting. have a lot to think about now...

username10 so... is everyone on smosh wasted?? or just these two??

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🔔 HollywoodNow just posted! check it out?

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Liked by username01, RomComInterviews, and others

HollywoodNow Hollywoods newest and hottest heartthrob (first/name) (last/name) was found walking around downtown L.A. with any unknown man. Spectators say they looked very "cosy" while attending a local art crawl, others account a kiss while getting coffee later in the afternoon. To get more on this story, give us a follow and read the full article on our website- linked in bio!

View all 1,991 comments

username01 i will die on this hill believing the man to be spencer. (i don't think my heart could handle it being anyone else 😭).

username88 please be spencer. please be spencer. please be spencer. PLEASEEEE 🙏😫

username94 i hate paparazzi- like leave by boy/girl (name) alone please!

RomComInterviews want to learn more about (name)? check out our interview with them on our youtube channel alongside sydney sweeney and glenn powell!

(name)s_username 😆 can't believe i have my first gossip article!

↳ spennser this is part of your peak accomplishments ❤️ ↳ (name)s_username for real- going to print this out now! ↳ smosh please stop using up the office printers ink! the art department needs it!! ↳ (name)s_username whaaattt? i'd never think of doing that... 😇 ↳ username41 umm guys? you do know this is not email or sms... right??

username20 so if (name) and spencer both commented on this post... this confirms it... right?

username49 it was going so slow and now (name) and spencer feel like they are moving through relationships at rocket speed. what. is. going. on???

username33 sometimes i wonder where my life went wrong, then i remember there are some people that have it worse out there than me, for example (name). could never imagine going out with people like they do. a real shame.

↳ username71 umm, to put it bluntly as possible, what the actual fuck?? get a life. you're just jealous that you can't pull or even be (name) or spencer. spot putting you, a disappointment, onto others in order to make yourself feel better, get help- you clearly need it. 😃

username25 i am new to this, what is a (yourshipname)? and where do you find one?

username66 please, please, please (name), star in another movie!! I am begging.

username10 does anyone know what product spencer uses for his hair? i'm looking for my boyfriend.

─────── · ·

🔔 (name)s_username just added to their story, check it out!

─────── · ·

🔔 These tweets are trending right now, retweet it to join the conversation!

─────── · ·

(first/name) (last/name) @ (name)s_username · 3 days ago I should have deleted my social media accounts earlier... 🙈😭 Comment | Retweet | Like | Bookmark

Hollywood Now @ hollywood_now · 1 day ago THIS JUST IN... (first/name) (last/name) has just been casted in a secret Netflix series coming soon. link in bio to find out more from us first! Comment | Retweet | Like | Bookmark

username24 @ username24 · 12 hours ago Since nobody else is willing to start saying it #imdonewith(name). They PROMISED they would be in more Smosh productions (especially with Spencer) yet it seems they keep getting pulled away by their "acting" stuff. Like WTF do you not care about your fans, the people that gave you a platform and this career??? #imdonewith(name). You would be nothing without us

username44 @ username44 · 12 hours ago #imdonewith(name) like congrats I guess but what about all of us?? I mean I cannot afford to watch movies in cinemas or another subscription 😡

username31 @ username31 · 12 hours ago Love that at the pinnacle of their career, they are also receiving the same amount of hate. #deserved #imdonewith(name)

username50 @ username50 · 12 hours ago Where is all this #imdonewith(name) coming from??? When #(yourshipname)forever should be trending???

username39 @ username39 · 12 hours ago (name) never deserved Spencer in the first place and now they are getting in a relationship when (name) is just going to leave AGAIN?! #imdonewith(name) shame, shame, double- no triple shame on you.

username11 @ username11 · 12 hours ago Hate how quiet @ spennser has been recently...

Spencer Agnew @ spennser · just now Missing what never was. this tweet has since been deleted by the user.

─────── · ·

🔔 SmoshGames just uploaded! Turn off notifications here.

─────── · ·

Werewolf but Twilight Edition 🐺🩸

Smosh Pit ✓ [Subscribed] 👍 4k | 👎 7.77M subscribers 90k views 10 hours ago we all are spindermonkeys click to read more

3,139 Comments

username01 I will never forgive both spencer or (name) if they both act super distant in another video EVER AGAIN (I know it was only half the video OKAY?? BUT STILLL). It is officially illegal for you both to not act as anything other than endlessly in love with one another.

↳ username69 PREACH!!! PERIOD!!!!!

username19 And now we all slowly watch as (yourshipname) like all other ships goes tits up in flames.

username00 I don't know whats up or down, left or right anyone after watching this...

username71 so... were they *just* Bella and Edward... or did anyone else see anything, (yourshipname) forever!!

username34 this was a bit... cringe but the vibes were there... as weird as they were...

username75 so... when you "apologizing" then doing what you said you wouldn't do again?

username23 11:24 Spencer: "take all the time you need, i'll always be here, Bella" Agnew and 14:32 (first/name): "i'm listening, i hear you, and i'm sorry, Edward" (last/name).

↳ username05 but how could you forget about their line a few minutes earlier!! 12:55 (first/name) "I will be here for as long as you want me to be, Edward/Spencer" (last/name). ↳ username09 okay sure you both, but 19:41 was peak: (first/name) "theres no place I rather be than with you" (last/name) to Spencers: "I only know want for you until I have you in my arms." I REFUSE to believe this was just them in character. ↳ username07 this whole episode felt like a fever dream, for real.

username99 Damien and Ian were so fucking funny in this one, constantly chocking on the cheap wigs was legendary 😂

username74 Spencer glaring at (name) but then softening seconds after has my heart doing somersaults 💗

↳ username69 they really cannot stay mad for long at one another, its pitiful. ↳ username74 IKR? Like they sat at different ends of the table but by the end I swore they were holding hands underneath the table.

username34 (name) apologizing for mistaking the rules so emotionally to Spencer seemed way more than surface level...

username90 And this friends is the last known video evidence of (name) being a Smosh cast member before they became too "cool" for everyone and went to the silver screen.

username88 I am going to miss (name) so much!!!! 😭 PLEASE DONT LEAVE USSSSS

↳ username24 #imdonewith(name) #imdonewith(name) #imdonewith(name) #imdonewith(name) ↳ username70 get lost and get a life hater. 😃

username13 everyone speaking with a lisp from the plastic teeth made this 10x funnier 😭😆

username22 true enemies to lovers type beat in this video. At the start, (name) and Spencer want nothing to do with one another, they refuse to even look at each other and then after one acted out upon scene they are giving "goo-goo, i'm so sorry" eyes at one another before outro-ing together. These two I swear- And don't even get me started on those whispered "i'm sorrys" throughout the video. WE HEARD THOSEEE editors!!!

username20 (name).

↳ username31 spencer.

username91 im bitter. like i know its not really confirmed by Netflix or (name) yet but... like you promised? i hate sounding like a sad child.

username03 this is all to messy for my liking...

username66 wait so... what did i miss???

↳ username44 "i guess i basically missed the late eighties..."

username51 So... are they together or not? I am so confused somehow help pls 😭

username62 praying that those pictures were real. i need this to be real like i need to breathe.

─────── · ·

🔔 (name)s_username just added to their story, check it out!

─────── · ·

🔔 spennser just added to their story for the first time in awhile.

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: whew! 😥 that was a long ass chapter. what did y'all think??

─ · · COMMENTS SECTION TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios @thejourneyneverendsx @sibsteria @lizzylynch1 @cryinghotmess @babble2

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jen-with-a-pen · 8 months ago

Text

A good example !

I wanted to take a second to highlight this user in the midst of the "discourse" in spam liking and not reblogging.

When I saw this in my notifs just now, I about cried.

THIS IS WHAT ITS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE.

BE THIS PERSON. THIS IS HOW YOU SHOULD BE DOING IT.

We are not fucking kidding when we say reblogging takes literally two seconds. This user is still liking and sharing!! You don't even have to add tags!! When you spam like we expect spam reblogging for our works!!

This is the bar. The bar is 6ft under yet lots of y'all are literally still going under it and it's fucking insane.

Anyways to you @sjsmith56 I pat you on the head and offer you a cookie. It's snickerdoodle. Hope that's okay.

If y'all don't mind, I'm tagging just a few mutuals in order to highlight this along with my other post.

@navybrat817 @targaryenvampireslayer @fushic0re @bucksangel @eulalielatibule @cocoamoonmalfoy

#A POSITIVE EXAMPLE #THANK YOU #and yes: user engagement via comments asks and submissions and tagging is a whole other part of the conversation but #BUT #but i wanted to highlight a positive and good example #especially for those who “use likes to bookmark”#like no lol if you spam like you can spam reblog the same shit #commentary #jen speaks

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punkshort · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter warnings: language, descriptions of violence, death, graphic description of dead bodies, angst, smut (m masturbation), sexual tension x a million

A/N: please tell me if I should use any additional tags/warnings on this story. Also this is the longest chapter yet, I knew when I wanted it to end but I kept adding more detail and more scenes as I wrote and it just got away from me oops

Chapter Eleven

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader, pre-outbreak and post outbreak

AU (the only thing I kept was the outbreak, Joel, and Tommy's characters. Joel's backstory is different, and the way he finds Jackson is different. I may include Ellie one day, I just haven't planned that far)

Fic Summary: You worked for Joel and Tommy a few months before the outbreak. The outbreak happens, and you and Joel get stuck traveling the country and keeping each other safe. Neither of you spoke about the feelings you had for one another pre-outbreak, and in a post-apocalyptic world, it seems like survival should be your only focus. But feelings can't be ignored forever.

Fic tags: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Smut, Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, Age Difference (Reader is 10 years younger than Joel), slow burn, mutual pining, angst, trauma, SA referencing later but I will put a big warning on those chapters

December 2003

Chicago, IL

The cold, bitter wind blew off the lake as you trudged through the snow. You had three layers underneath your thick jacket, but you were still freezing. You had forgotten just how cold it felt this close to the lake, but you kept eagerly pushing forward.

"I think I know where we are," you said excitedly to Joel, who had been unusually silent the past few miles. "There's this golf course a couple miles from my house, I think this is it."

"Can hardly see a thing out here," was all Joel said in response. You frowned, annoyed that he was bringing you down when you were finally starting to feel hopeful.

"What's wrong?" you asked, putting an arm out to stop him. He sighed and you watched as a puff of air leave his mouth then dance away on the wind before he turned to look at you.

"I'm just -" he stopped, rethinking his words. "I'm worried. If they ain't there, we need to go to the QZ, and I don't know if it'll be as easy to get out once we're in, like it was before." He paused before adding, "And I'm worried about you... if we don't find what you're expectin'."

"Don't be worried, I know it's a long shot. But I have to try. What else do I have?" You looked up at him through your eyelashes, dusted with snowflakes. You looked so beautiful that it took his breath away. He had to jam his fist into his pocket to keep himself from reaching out and cupping your face.

"You got me," he said, looking at you softly with his heart hammering in his chest. You inhaled sharply. He didn't mean it like it sounded. "We can go out west, see if we can find Tommy. It'll be warmer out there, too," he added nervously.

You could tell he was really trying, he looked anxious as he shifted his gaze to your surroundings, his hands fidgeting deeply in the pockets of his coat. You weren't even sure where you would even begin to look for Tommy, if that plan was even possible, but if he was willing to take you all this way to find your family, the least you could do is agree to try to find his.

"Yeah, okay," you said quietly. His fidgeting stopped, and he made eye contact with you again. "If I can't find my parents, that's a good plan. We can do that." You smiled reassuringly at him now, trying to ease his mind. He gave you a small smile in return and a quick nod, then looked back down at the snow, brushing his nose with the back of his gloved hand.

"Can we get moving, now? I'd like to get out of this cold soon," you said, stomping your feet lightly, trying to get more blood to circulate in your legs.

"Yeah, sure, let's get goin'," he said, and you headed across the golf course towards a wooded area in the distance. If this was the golf course you thought it was, then your neighborhood was just on the other side of those woods.

You made it to the outskirts of your neighborhood just before dusk. The familiar tree lined streets just a few blocks away from your house made your heart flutter in anticipation. You knew you shouldn’t get excited; you knew it was unlikely they would be there, or even leave any type of note telling you where they went, but you couldn’t help it. This was where you grew up, this was your home. Your memories were etched in these streets: learning how to ride a bike, falling out of the tree and breaking your arm in your best friend’s backyard, trolling the streets at night as teenagers thinking you were tough and cool. A part of you was excited to show your home to Joel, but you quickly stopped that line of thought. He was not your boyfriend you were bringing home to meet your parents. He was your boss who agreed to help keep each other safe these past few months.

You both approached your street as darkness wrapped around you. Joel insisted you survey the street for a while to see if there was any movement before giving away your position. You reluctantly agreed, ducking behind a house on the corner, until you saw light moving inside a house. Your house.

“Oh my god,” you said breathily, “that’s my house. Joel!” you latched onto his forearm, dragging his attention onto you, “My parents!” you gasped.

You lurched forward, but Joel’s hand yanked you back. You angrily spun around to face him.

“I know you’re excited,” he began, clenching both his hands on your shoulders, “but we don’t know if that’s them, it’s been a long time. I think we should wait- “

You cut him off, saying, “It’s got to be them, what are the chances? C’mon, Joel, please!” you begged, clutching his wrist. His gaze bore into yours as you held onto him, and again you whispered, “please,”.

He groaned, unable to deny you when you looked so sweet and adamant. “Alright, just give me a few minutes, let me think of a plan,” he replied, at which your face broke out in a huge smile, still grasping his hand in yours as you bounced on your heels.

“Sure, whatever, I just want to see them,” you replied, looking back at the lights moving around your living room. You couldn’t believe it; your parents were alive! Joel had tried to curb your expectations, but it wasn’t even necessary, they were there. They were right there!

You approached your house in the darkness, unable to keep the smile from your face as Joel led you quietly across the street. He rapped his knuckles three times on the door and pulled out his revolver as he stepped to the side, ready for hostility. When the door cracked open, it was not what either of you expected.

A man you didn't recognize peered out from around the corner. All you could see was his eye, but he looked terrified as he feverishly looked back and forth between you and Joel.

"Who are you?" he asked, the door still cracked.

"Who am I? Who are you?" you replied before thinking, "this is my house, what are you doing?"

The man faltered a moment and Joel stiffened on the other side of the door. "Are you armed?" the man asked nervously, unable to see Joel's revolver at his side.

"Goddamn right we are," Joel spoke up, his grip on the gun tightening, "you better start explain' yourself."

The man went to slam the door shut but Joel was anticipating it, shoving his boot in the doorway to stop him.

"Alright, alright, I don't mean any harm," the stranger said, opening the door up more and walking backwards with his hands in the air, "come in, I'm not armed, but please don't hurt us."

Us. You entered your living room. It looked the same, except some pieces of furniture were pushed closer together. You glanced up at the wall above the fireplace by habit, seeing your high school graduation photo still prominently displayed, then your eyes settled on a woman cowering in the corner of the room. She was taller than you and blonde, with wide blue eyes and bangs that brushed her eyebrows, and she was shaking with fear. You held your hand out to Joel and pushed his revolver gently towards the floor. He resisted until his gaze met the girl in the corner, and his arms went limp.

The man who answered the door stepped forward, and you noticed now he seemed much younger, maybe around you age. He kept his arms up in front of him as he stood in front of the woman, his eyes pleading.

"Please, we don't mean any harm, we are just looking for a safe place to stay." He repeated, his brown eyes anxiously shifting back and forth between you and Joel.

Joel met your eyeline, and you sighed. Obviously, your parents had moved on, which left you distraught, but these people were harmless.

"It's fine," Joel said, tucking the gun in the back of his jeans. "This is her house," he gestured towards you, "we're lookin' for her parents, you know anythin' about that?"

The man lowered his hands now that Joel put his gun away, and drifted backwards to stand next to the woman, who still looked shaken.

"No, I'm sorry, I don't know who used to live here. We just needed someplace safe to stay for the winter, and this neighborhood was abandoned. We just picked your house randomly, I'm so sorry." the man apologized again, truly looking upset he couldn't help you more. "I'm Tim, this is Lucy," Tim rubbed Lucy's back affectionately, trying to ease her nerves.

You both introduced yourselves and they relaxed a bit, sitting down on the sofa and chairs surrounding the crackling fireplace.

"You think havin' a fire is a good idea? What if someone sees the smoke?" Joel asked, rubbing his hands together.

"Hasn't been a problem yet," Tim replied, "until you two."

You shook your head. "We didn't notice the smoke, but we saw your flashlights."

Tim smacked his palm against his forehead. "The one day I forget to pull the curtains closed, dang it!"

Joel shook his head and learned toward to Tim, "You need to be more careful. You're lucky it was just us," he said, swinging his thumb between the two of you. "You need to be better prepared, you gotta protect her," now motioning towards the Lucy.

Tim's face paled and he gulped nervously, reaching out and clutching Lucy's hand. "Can you give us some pointers? We just left the QZ two weeks ago, we are doing our best out here but," Tim gave Lucy a tight smile, "we could use all the help we could get."

Joel's eyes shifted between Lucy and Tim, then back to you. He didn't want to waste his time helping some kids who clearly were in over their heads, but the look on your face when you turned to meet his gaze changed his mind. He was finding it impossible to say no to you.

"Yeah, alright. For starters, close the damn curtains and put out the fire," he told Tim gruffly.

"How will we stay warm?" Lucy spoke up for the first time, nervously casting her gaze between you and Joel.

"Blankets. Keep your bedroom door closed. Body heat. Set up tents to sleep in inside when the temperatures really drop," you replied curtly. "Only when absolutely necessary should you risk a fire. It's still November, there's a long winter ahead of you."

Joel smiled at you proudly as you spoke, Lucy catching his look. You had been picking up tidbits from him over the past few months, and he was happy to see you've been paying attention.

Tim got up to close the curtains as Joel began to put the fire out. Lucy turned to you, shooting you a nervous smile.

"Tim and I are already in the master bedroom, do you and your boyfriend mind taking the other one?"

"Oh, he's not my boyfriend," you replied quickly. Too quickly. Joel's shoulders tensed over the fireplace. "But no, that's fine, we're used to sharing a bed, and that's my old room anyway."

Lucy smiled at you politely before shifting her eyes between you and Joel curiously, her eyebrows scrunched together as if she was trying to figure something out, then relaxed her brow when Tim returned to her side.

"Alright then, we're going to get some sleep. Obviously, help yourselves to whatever's in the cupboards. It is your house, after all." Tim said, glancing at you with a quick smile.

You nodded and wished them good night as they headed towards your parents’ room. It was just as well: it would have been weird to sleep with Joel in their bed.

The door shut behind them and you got to work rummaging through the familiar cupboards, pulling out some canned food you could eat and without having to think, pulled open the drawer that housed the can opener, and then the silverware. Joel eyed you warily as he sat down at the kitchen table. He knew he wasn't your boyfriend, but the way you quickly corrected Lucy still bothered him.

You ate in silence, leaving one flashlight on between you. Joel looked around your kitchen, trying to imagine you growing up here. His eyes landed on the fridge that had some pictures stuck to it with magnets. Once you were finished eating, he picked up the flashlight and went to take a closer look.

"Oh, those were taken so long ago, I hardly even look the same," you said, noticing where his attention was drawn.

Joel tsk'ed, zeroing in on a picture of you when you were little and drawing with chalk on the sidewalk, then another where you were on a field trip with your 8th grade class, and a third picture where you were in a sparkly red dress for a homecoming dance with some boy's arm around your waist.

"As I said, those were taken a long time ago," you whispered, suddenly appearing beside him. He turned to look at you, really look at you: he could still see the similarities from the pictures in the way you smiled, the shape of your eyes, and the curve of your mouth.

You yawned and reached out to grab your backpack. "Follow me," you said quietly, not wanting to disturb Tim and Lucy.

You led Joel down the hall towards your bedroom and pushed the door open. You were pleasantly surprised that your parents left it exactly the same. You still had posters hung on your wall of the Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, and Destiny's Child. The pictures that decorated your dresser mirror were the same ones you shoved in the frame from high school: pictures of you and your friends at dances, at a restaurant, the mall, and a couple with the same boy who was on the fridge.

"Who's the guy?" Joel couldn't help but ask.

"Oh, that's Matt. He was my first boyfriend. We broke up right before college," you said coolly as you pulled out some more comfortable clothes from your backpack and left to go change in the bathroom down the hall.

Joel took the opportunity to look casually through the items on your dresser, sniffing a few different half used perfume bottles and flipping through some CDs. It was strange to be here in your bedroom. He had never considered actually being here before, too focused on the journey and not really thinking about the destination. You returned to the bedroom with a couple of extra blankets in your arms.

"My parents kept these in the hall closet, I already made sure Tim and Lucy had enough," you explained, spreading the blankets over your twin bed. You swallowed nervously, realizing this bed was smaller than the beds you've previously shared. Joel excused himself to go clean up and change as you slid into the sheets, your eyes closing in relief at the familiarity of the room. You didn't realize you had nearly fallen asleep until the mattress shifted, and your eyes snapped open. Joel's leg and arm brushed up against yours as you tried to keep your body from going rigid at the contact. It was unavoidable, your bed was too small, so you forced your body to relax and tried not to overthink it.

"Tomorrow, I'll ask ‘em about the QZ. If they can share any details about the place, then I think we can go there lookin' for your folks," he whispered in the dark.

"Mhmm, sounds good," you whispered back, still struggling to control your reaction from being so close to him. Your whole body felt hot. You told yourself it was just the extra blankets, but you knew better. Whenever he had been this close before, it was in your sleep, your mind was unable to process his touch until he was already pulling away from you. You squirmed a little, trying to get more comfortable.

"You need more room?" he asked, about to move before you stopped him.

"No, I'm fine, thanks," you said quickly, and turned to your side, finally getting a few more inches between you.

Joel stared at your back longingly. It seemed like every day something reminded him of what he would never have. The way you shirked away from his touch and how you made it perfectly clear you were nothing more than companions to Lucy felt like a punch in the gut. It's been months, and he still couldn't get his mind off you. You were becoming a burning need and it was driving him crazy. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing sleep to come so he could find some peace.

You woke up the next morning feeling well rested and warm. Really warm. With your eyes still shut, you burrowed into your bedsheets deeper to enjoy the warmth a little longer before having to wake up and face the frigid Midwest. You nuzzled your face forward and froze when your nose and lips met skin instead of a blanket. You slowly opened your eyes and found yourself face to face with Joel’s chest. You must have shifted around and ended up facing him at some point overnight. You stared at the exposed skin of his neck, taking in the little details of his tanned and pebbled skin, examining every birthmark you could lay your eyes on, then leisurely allowed your gaze to travel upwards where his prickly beard scattered over his neck, jaw, and upper lip. You inspected the patchy spots in his beard, seeing a few grey hairs sprouting up on the corners of his jaw. You noticed one bald spot resembled a heart, making you ache with the desire to press your lips there. His lips looked soft and plush, and you remembered how good they felt pushed against your own as they maneuvered your mouth open. His nose was sharp and angular, your favorite feature after his eyes. You were caught up in examining the wrinkles developing around his face when he woke up suddenly and his gaze immediately fixated on you.

You now realized you had your arms tangled around each other. Even your leg was wedged in between his under the blankets. You both lay on your sides, faces inches away, as you continued to stare at one another silently. Joel's eyes flicked down your face, examining you the same way you had just done to him. You felt your cheeks flush under the scrutiny, and you parted your lips to take in more air as your heart thumped wildly in your chest. Joel noticed the movement, his gaze fixed on your lips before flicking back up to your eyes. He exhaled softly through his nose, the puff of air blowing gently over your face. The air around you was thick with tension, causing you to shiver involuntarily. Joel lifted his hand from your hip to cup your face, his thumb brushing against your lips. You sighed and your eyes fluttered shut, unable to resist leaning into his touch this time. He took a moment to appreciate the gentle features of your face while your eyes were closed. He ran his thumb over your lips again, marveling at how soft they were. He swallowed nervously, moving his thumb from your lips to rest on your cheek, then leaned forward, closing his eyes when his nose tenderly nudged your own.

A sharp knock on the door made you gasp and jump away. You sat up in bed, clutching the blanket to your chest and Joel laid back with a frustrated groan, roughly running his hands up and down his face.

"Yes!" you yelped; your voice high pitched. Lucy's quiet voice on the other side of the door answered.

"Just checking on you, we have breakfast and coffee whenever you're ready!"

"Be right out!" you replied, voice still too high, no doubt the result of your nerves short circuiting. You stared down at your hands, unsure what to say.

"Did you sleep alright?" you finally asked, a question he usually was asking you. You fidgeted with the edge of the blanket and turned to look at him, anxiously waiting for his answer. He dragged his hands down from his face and let them rest on his stomach, then shot you a grin.

"Slept fuckin' great," he said, grinning wider as he watched your face heat up from embarrassment, and you bit your lip to hold back a smile of your own. It took everything he had to not grab you and pull you back into his arms as you stood up and walked to the door.

"I'll see you in a minute," you said shyly, and closed the door behind you. You headed to the bathroom first, giving yourself a moment to catch your breath. You hovered over the sink and stared at your reflection in the mirror. Your hair was a mess, and your face was flushed. You looked completely wrecked. What were you thinking? The tension was beginning to be too much, and maybe if you just had sex and got it out of your system, just one time, it would help clear your head. It doesn't have to mean anything. If that was all he was willing to offer you, would that be so bad? You could separate the physical from the emotional, right? You sighed, raking your fingers through your hair to tame it, and went to meet Tim and Lucy in the kitchen.

"Fuck," Joel whispered out loud to himself after you left. He palmed his erection over his sweatpants, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. It had been so long since he last jerked off. It was risky, you could come back in here at any moment, but he was convinced he would be hard half the day if he didn't take care of himself.

He pushed his sweatpants down just enough to pull out his cock, squeezing his eyes shut as he gripped himself firmly, setting a fast pace right away, knowing it wouldn't take him long. He let out short, quick gasps as he replayed the events from that morning: the way he caught you looking at him when he woke up, the sound you made when you sighed into his hand, your soft lips. "Shit," he groaned through clenched teeth, his hips thrusting into his fist as he imagined those lips wrapped around his cock, looking up at him through your eyelashes, your face all flushed as you brought him into your mouth as far as you could before stifling a gag.

He frantically reached out to the bedside table where he saw a few scarves piled near the lamp, snatching one and catching his release just in time before he made a mess all over your bed. He laid there for a few minutes catching his breath and then tucked himself back into his pants, shoving the scarf deep under your bed. He reluctantly stood up to change his clothes and ran his fingers through his hair before heading towards the kitchen.

"Oh my goodness, that sounds awful!" Joel heard you saying as he walked into the room. The three of you sat around the table with mugs of coffee, some oatmeal and pop-tarts. He sat down in a chair next to you and poured himself coffee before digging into the food.

"It got really bad there, we just couldn't risk sticking around. From what others were saying, it was just as bad in any other city," Tim had finished saying. You turned to Joel, faltering for a split second when your eyes met, before explaining.

"They just told me the QZ is a shitshow. People are having their food rationed, they're doing grunt work for hardly anything in return, and some people are being attacked for their supplies and the soldiers don't do anything to stop it," you said, listing each item off on your fingers as you spoke.

"Well, it could have been worse. We heard stories about soldiers going to neighborhoods and filling up trucks with people, telling them they'll go to the QZ, but the trucks never arrived," said Lucy, eyes wide. "Rumor has it, there wasn't enough room, so the soldiers shot everyone and left them on the side of the road."

"Why would they do that?" you gasped, a hand over your mouth.

"Dead people can't turn into infected," said Tim sadly, "that's why we stuck it out in the QZ as long as we could."

"How long were you there for?" Joel asked, pausing to take a sip of the piping hot coffee. He looked around, frowning, wondering for the first time how they heated up food, and then he saw the fireplace roaring. His eyes flicked back to Tim angrily.

"I know, I know, we're gonna put it out, we just wanted to warm up a bit and make something to eat," he waved off Joel's glare with a chuckle, "besides, you couldn't even see the smoke last night."

"We were distracted, anyone else walkin' up this street will see it. I'm warnin' you right now," Joel scowled and pointed his finger menacingly at Tim, "if you get her hurt 'cause you ain't listenin' to me, I'm gonna make the QZ look like a fuckin' playground." The whole table was silent while Joel stared daggers into Tim's paling face. You were confused why Joel was so protective over Lucy, a stranger by all accounts, until the coffee kicked in and it clicked: Joel wasn't referring to Lucy. He was talking about you. You could feel the tips of your ears getting red.

You cleared your throat, trying to break the tension at the table. Then a thought occurred to you. You got up quickly and snatched a picture off the mantle over the fireplace, bringing it back to the table and slid it between Lucy and Tim.

"Did you ever see those two people in the QZ?" you asked desperately, your gaze bouncing between them as they examined the photo carefully. They frowned as they stared into the faces of your smiling parents, then slowly shook their heads.

"I'm sorry, I don't think so. But it was a big place," said Lucy, "it's possible they could be there, and we just never saw or noticed them!"

You sighed, thanking them anyway, and pulled the picture back towards you. Joel could see the disappointment in your eyes, and he wanted to take your mind off it. His gaze traveled to a corner of the kitchen where he saw a bow leaning up against the wall with a quiver of arrows. He nodded towards it.

"Where'd you get that?" he asked, standing up to inspect it. You looked up and gasped.

"That's mine! Oh my god, I had no idea my parents kept it."

"Yeah, we found it in the basement. We didn't have any weapons, so we figured it was better than nothing. I've never even used a bow before," Tim said. Joel picked it up and pulled on the strings a few times, then picked up a couple arrows and flicked the tips to test their sharpness.

"You mind if we borrow it? I wanna try to get us something substantial to eat. Looks like it's gonna be a nice day," Joel said, peeking out the window up at the sun, watching the icicles on the gutters drip.

Tim agreed, since it wasn't really his to begin with. You insisted on leaving your pistol on the counter with them, in case of an emergency. Lucy shuddered when she saw the gun, and Tim picked it up to put it in the cupboard next to the sink.

"She hates guns," he explained quietly to you as you and Joel got ready to head out to hunt. "After seeing so much brutality in the QZ, she can't stand them. I'm just trying to keep her calm and happy, so I do as she says." He smiled at you both as you walked through the front door. Before you walked away, Joel turned back to Tim and just simply said "Fire," in a forceful tone, to which Tim nodded and gave a thumbs up, closing the door behind you.

The two of you walked silently down the street back towards the woods you came from, your heads swiveling every so often to make sure no one else was around. The sun was bright, and it was bouncing off the white snow, making you wince. You could tell as you walked that the few inches of snow that was on the ground was breaking up under the warmth. It would probably mostly be gone by nighttime, leaving muddy and dead grass to admire.

Once you reached the woods, Joel did his best to track any animal prints that looked fresh. He wasn't exactly an expert, but he knew enough. You followed closely behind him and kept your eyes on the trees for any movement. You had been walking around the woods for almost an hour before you stopped to rest. You found a fallen tree trunk elevated a bit from the ground that you could both comfortably sit on. You took a sip from your canteen as you glanced around. The forest was so still and quiet, it felt peaceful. You closed your eyes for a moment to savor it, unaware Joel was watching you closely.

Neither of you had mentioned anything about this morning. Joel felt a glimmer of hope inside him that maybe not all was lost, that maybe you could feel the same way he did. He wanted to talk about it, but he didn't want to scare you off and ruin the progress he had made. He cleared his throat, the noise grabbing your attention and making you open your eyes to look at him.

"So," he began, fiddling with the bow in his hands, his eyes cast downward, "I guess when we get back, we oughta ask 'em how they escaped from the QZ, then we can make a plan, get in and see if we can find your folks."

"Mhm, that sounds good," you said, watching him pick at the bow. "Maybe we should stay one more night, then leave early tomorrow."

He looked up at you now, unable to hide the shock from his face. He expected you would want to leave right away, eager to find your family. He scanned your face, seeing a small, playful smile, and he swallowed roughly. You wanted to stay another night for a reason.

His breath caught in his throat, and he could feel the warmth spreading across his cheeks. He hoped you would think the cold air was to blame as he shifted his weight on the log, dragging his gaze from you and onto the trees.

"Yeah," he finally squeezed out, "that's fine, we can leave tomorrow."

You bit your lip and turned your head away from him so he wouldn't see the smile that threatened to spill across your face.

You heard a snap of a twig nearby, drawing both of your attention as you fixated on the location of the noise. You froze when you saw a fat rabbit about 10 yards away, happily munching on some grass that had been exposed by the sun. Joel slowly reached down for the bow, but without looking you reached your hand out to place on top of his, stopping him. You motioned with your fingers to hand over the bow. You were more familiar with it, but it had been a long time. It was like riding a bike, right?

You loaded an arrow slowly into the bow, and drew back the string silently, closing one eye and aiming straight ahead. You let out a slow breath, then held it for half a second before letting go of the string. You cried out in happiness when the arrow made contact, killing the rabbit instantly. Joel swiveled his head towards you with a huge grin plastered on his face, beaming with pride.

You held the rabbit by the feet as you made your way back to the house, explaining you used to shoot archery in middle school but lost interest. The adrenaline from the kill combined with the excitement of what lied ahead for you and Joel was making you dizzy with happiness. You should have known something was going to ruin it.

You were a few doors down from your house, still smiling and teasing Joel about how much of a better hunter you were when his eyes fell on the front door of your house, and he froze. You stopped automatically, following his gaze to the front door of the house that was wide open. You both stood there for a minute, waiting to see if Tim was going to appear walking back inside with a bucket of snow to melt, but he never did. You turned to Joel, your eyes filled with worry.

"Did he leave the door open?" you asked shakily, hoping there was a reasonable explanation. Joel slowly shook his head, eyes still trained on the house. You looked around you now, trying to make out any footprints in the snow that may have been foreign, and Joel looked around at the houses on the street for movement. When it appeared to be quiet and still, you both begrudgingly approached your home, afraid of what you would find.

Joel stepped through the door first, his face immediately contorting in a grimace. He held his arm out to keep you back, but you refused, dropping the rabbit and pushing past him, gasping at the sight before you. Tim and Lucy were slaughtered, laying lifeless on your living room floor. Blood seeped into the beige carpet, making it spongy and red. Their eyes were open and staring up at the ceiling, their mouths agape as blood slowly trickled from their multiple stab wounds.

You bit back a sob, turning away to focus on literally anything except them. Joel desperately wanted to comfort you, but he first needed to know the bandits were gone, so he advanced into the small house, clearing each room before returning to find you standing in the kitchen, tears streaming down your face.

He briefly noticed the cupboards were left wide open, all the food taken, as well as the pistol you left for Tim, before he reached out to envelop you in his arms. You sank into his embrace, sobbing quietly into his shoulder. His eyes flicked back to the scene in the living room.

“That fuckin’ fire, I told him to put it out,” he said, staring at the small flames still licking at the embers.

You tried to argue with Joel about burying them, but he didn’t want to risk it. He wanted to get back into the forest behind the shelter of the pine trees. You had packed up your things quickly while Joel draped a couple sheets over their bodies. He made sure to grab the rabbit you killed before hurrying you out the front door and back towards the forest, not stopping until you were miles away and you begged him to take a break. He relented only when he found a secluded spot where he felt safe making a small fire to cook the rabbit. As you ate, he examined his map, trying to figure out where you were in relation to the QZ. He was fairly certain you were heading in the right direction, his eyes lifting up towards the sun and then turned the map around in his hands.

“I think we’re here,” he told you, pointing to a green area on the map. “If we hook up with this road here,” he dragged his finger over to a thick line on the page, “then that will take us right into the city, and we can find the QZ.” You nodded, cleaning off your plates in what little snow remained on the ground. “You doin’ ok?” he asked you hesitantly. You stopped cleaning the plates to look up at him.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you assured him, “just… that could’ve been us. It scared me.” You held his gaze for a moment, trying to express how much he meant to you with a look. Joel shook his head and leaned forward to grip your hand.

“It ain’t gonna be us, we don’t make stupid mistakes like that, you understand me?” You nodded, your eyes raking over his face, wondering if your luck will eventually run out. He gave your hand one more squeeze before standing up, urging you to pack up so you could make it to the QZ before nightfall.

The road Joel had pointed out to you on the map was deserted, surrounded only by thick forests and a few abandoned cars as you made your way slowly towards the city. You kept your gaze on the ground in front of you, absentmindedly kicking a stone here or there as you walked beside Joel, who was on high alert for raiders and gripping his rifle tightly in his hands. The road curved and steered you towards an open field, where you could now see buildings not too far off in the distance. Suddenly, Joel stretched his arm out across your chest, stopping you both. You looked up at him, confused, then followed his gaze. Not far ahead, you could see a pile of bodies on the side of the road, just like Lucy had warned. You held your breath, unable to fathom how evil those soldiers must be to execute all those innocent people. He looked down at you, and you nodded to him, telling him you were ok, to keep walking.

You continued down the road, both of you unable to keep your eyes off the bodies as you got closer. You couldn’t tell how long they had been there, the harsh winter had likely preserved their bodies, but with the snow melting today, you could make out most of their exposed faces and clothes. Your eyes scanned over a few of the bodies on top and that’s when you saw them: their bodies twisted and lifeless, laid next to one another on the side of the pile.

You dropped to your knees in the middle of the street, not even registering the pain from the impact. Then your vision went blurry before blackness creeped along the edges. You forced out a choked cry, unable to control the volume of your voice as sobs shook your body. Joel’s arms were around you instantly, cutting off your view from your parents, and kneeled down in the street with you, holding you to his chest to muffle your screams, rocking you back and forth until your breathing slowed and you ran out of tears.

Chapter Twelve

Taglist: @chiogarza, sparklejumpropequeen-777

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #joel the last of us #tlou hbo #the last of us hbo #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller series #joel x reader #joel x reader smut #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us game #the way we were joel miller fic

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melverie · 7 months ago

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Aaahhh, thank you so much for the tag @king-a-queen!! 💚💚

15 Questions Tag Game

01 - Are you named after anyone?

First name: nope Second name: yep, after my grandma

02 - When was the last time you cried?

About a week ago bc I was laughing too hard Also techinically this morning. My eyes just started tearing up a bit while I was still in bed & staring against the wall. I guess that white wall was just tugging at my heartstrings

03 - Do you have kids?

The only children I have are my OCs <3 My current beloved OCs are Aym, Marchosias (💖💖💖💖💖), and Baal; all for Obey Me

04 - What sports do you play/have you played?

So as a kid, I took MSE (self-defense) classes, I did ballet for a short while, and I played badminton. But now I'm not really doing much sports anymore. I'm occasionally working out in a sad attempt to stay healthy but that's...not working out all that well because I keep forgetting about it lol. That being said, I walk anywhere as long as it's a walkable distance away (to me, that's around 90min max), idc it's the European mindset. Der Fußbus hält überall :)

05 - Do you use sarcasm?

As if I would ever smh what are these accusations

06 - What is the first thing you notice about people?

When I pass strangers on the street, I try to look for little moments that bring them joy. That being said, 90% of the time I'm just lost in my own thoughts & have completely tunnel vision, so imagine noticing anything 😭 When I first meet people tho, it's usually the way they look at you, which tbh is a little ironic because I sometimes just cannot look people in the eyes NFDHSKGJHKSDLGS

07 - What's your eye color?

They used to be blue, but now they're more of a greyish green with a few brown spots in them

08 - Scary movies or happy endings?

Okay endings, actually! Where characters don't get the happy ending they were hoping for, and some things are still a little messy, but all in all things are okay and they finally get to breath again. Though I guess that's kind of a happy ending? lol

09 - Any talents?

My newest talent is being able to imitate the cry of an owl. My sister explained it to me earlier & once I got it to work I've been doing it non-stop until I got lightheaded 😭 Worth it tho Other than that, being able to teach myself the basics of a lot of things within a day (one of the upsides of ADHD), as well as abandoning a lot of my projects after a while because I suddenly decided to start a completely different one (one of the downsides of ADHD) I also have a real talent for writing angst. Ask any of my closer mutuals, I keep terrorizing them with my ideas (love you guys 💖) And finally: telling myself that I'll go to sleep early & then it's 5am

10 - Where were you born?

in Germanyyy fun fact: I was born more or less close to a town that has a store called 'Mephisto' lol

11 - What are your hobbies?

being insane, obviously 💚 some of my mutuals can surely attest to that lol No, but in general I enjoy writing & drawing, as well as, uhm. Randomly deciding to take up multiple really time-consuming projects, such as the OM card rec thing I did that I still need to update ahhhh, my Obey Me OC & MC ask game that originally had 200+ questions before I cut it in half out of fear of it being too long, half of my side blogs, and SOOOO many other things. <- or in short, being insane 💚 I also really love cooking & baking! Side note, if anyone wants an easy chocolate lava cake recipe, you just need to ask... 👀 Also lately it's just been romancing Thanatos in Hades because I randomly remembered that I hadn't done that yet

12 - Do you have any pets?

I used to have clownfish and a starfish, but other than that I've never had any myself. I love the dogs I dogsit with all my heart tho, and there is this cat that I sometimes meet on my way to work. She always runs up to me when she sees me and won't stop meowing until I start petting her, and last time she climbed onto my lap (I sat down in the middle of the sidewalk, I did not care lmao), she's literally the sweetest 😭😭 I also ring the doorbell for her whenever it rains so she doesn't have to stay outside lol

13 - How tall are you?

1,68m or 5'6 if I got the conversion correct lol

14 - Favourite subject in school?

Heavily depended on the teacher, but generally art class because we usually got to work on whatever we wanted with and listen to music. Also English in 9th grade, math in 10th and German in 11th because the teachers were great

15 - Dream job?

I've been thinking of translations in general/software localizition for a while now. I just love dissecting all the small differences between languages (D.D.D.s being called 'D3' my beloved), + there are so many invisble choices made when translating. You'll always lose something because every language has its little quirks and a different mindset that can't be translated directly, but you'll also gain something that the original version didn't have. It's an art form in itself, and I really love that <3 The other job that keeps popping into my mind is event mangement. I already get to organize a ton of things for my uni since I'm part of the student council for one of my two majors. It's exhausting, but also really rewarding when you have people come up to you afterwards to tell you how much fun they had!

No pressure tags for a bunch of people, hehe >:) @alpine-forget-me-nots @healersadjust @misc-magic @sweetbrier2908 @reblogs-are-the-love @shootingstarrfish @mjoria @too-much-gacha @layphie @katboykirby @ghostlyyraccoon @lost-in-lamentation @bagofwetmice @glamphantasm @wizardthesai @mellonyheart @arlatthan as well as anyone else that wants to join!

#tag game #15 questions tag games #if anyone tagged would rather answer with a different blog of theirs then go ahead! i have main/side blogs figured out for most of you lol #also if some would rather not get tagged again in the future lmk!!

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to-thelakes · 9 months ago

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built to fall (5)

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

series summary; after having a rough month, the feelings that you had been harbouring for your co-worker finally come to the surface

series warnings; fluff, hurt/comfort, smut (later on), mutual pining, discussions of mental health, reader gets drunk, vomiting, suggestive themes, sexual tension, cases that the bau work are also mentioned so the usual warnings for the show apply

warnings for this part; MDNI (minors do not interact) sexual content, fluff, tired reader, tired team, jj being nosy (we love her), smut, fingering, squirting, praise kink, soft!dom luke, self-indulgent smut, needy reader

notes; okay, hello my lovelies, i'm literally just dropping this and then crawling back into my hole because i woke up feeling atrociously tired and worse than i have since i got the flu in december, i will save you from the grim details but safe to say, i'm exhausted, but i gave this a little edit this morning and it's literally just self-indulgent smut and like just a little hint of what is gonna come for these two, we get a very very small smidge of luke worshipping reader hehe. like this is written entirely to my taste so whoops but anyway, i hope you enjoy <3

tags; @smurfenijsje12 @xoxomoonlightbabe

ao3 / masterlist

previous chapter

You were the last one to arriveto the jet after you had to stop off at your apartment to get a to-go bag together. You had rushed around like a headless chicken, regretting not being more prepared for this but it served as a good distraction from the wetness between your legs.

By the time that you had clambered aboard the jet and dropped into the seat beside Emily, you had completely forgotten about the ache that Luke had left behind. Then when Emily began to talk you through the case, any arousal that still lingered was squashed. It was hard to think about how much you needed Luke when you were staring at pictures of mangled corpses. Really, your job was the biggest buzzkill.

Garcia popped up on the scene as the jet took off and the usual routine ensued. You discussed the case and came up with any preliminary theories before Emily told you where all of you needed to go when you landed. And you weren’t entirely sure if it was a curse or a blessing that she sent you and Luke to assess the latest crime scene.

Part of you was glad to spend the time with Luke but the other part of you didn’t want to have to try and keep your composure around him because you knew that would basically be impossible.

However, you kept your mouth shut and the team then split off to do their own private theorizing and reading of the case file or just take a short nap before you landed. That meant that everyone was sufficiently distracted enough for JJ to quiz you about your late appearance and what Garcia had told her about you being at Luke’s.

“You got something you wanna tell me?” JJ asked, cocking an eyebrow with a wry grin on her face. You looked up from the casefile, furrowing your eyebrows as you ran through every possible scenario that she could be talking about. At first you assumed it was something about the case but then you caught how her eyes drifted to the mark on your neck.

The mark that you had forgotten Luke had left on you.

“I stayed at his place,” You shrugged, looking back down at your casefile. You wanted to talk to JJ about it but also you didn’t want the entire team knowing your business. You and Luke had just spent the weekend together and you hadn’t even discussed what the two of you were. For now, it was simply the two of you enjoying each other’s company in a less than conventional way.

“You just stayed over?” She asked. You glanced around and noticed how Luke’s gaze had lifted. He had clearly caught on to you and JJ’s whispering and you sent him a smile but that just made him lift an eyebrow.

“Yeah, stayed over, met Roxy, we went on a few walks and he cooked for me,” You forced your gaze away from the man in question to look at the blonde in front of you, “His cooking isn’t as bad as you’d think.” You had to bite back the smile that spread across your face. JJ narrowed her eyes before she nodded her head, “And we obviously kissed,” You said, lowering your voice even more. JJ grinned.

“Just kissed?” She asked and you nodded your head.

“We got… interrupted,” You mumbled as you stared down at the case file. JJ couldn’t help the choked laugh that escaped her lips.

“What? By Garcia?” She asked, baffled. You nodded your head.

“Duty calls,” You mumbled. JJ bit her lip, hiding her amusement as she glanced over at Luke. He had returned back to his work, reading through the file and pretending like he wasn’t listening to the two of you gossip.

“No wonder he seems so frustrated,” JJ commented. Your head snapped up and you stared at her. She was quick to throw her hands up defensively, “I’m just saying what I see.” You scoffed and looked back down at your case file.

“He at least got a release,” You muttered under your breath but JJ caught it. Her gaze flicked to Luke and then back to you before she felt herself internally cringe at the image that popped into her head. But she didn’t bother to say anything else, it was a conversation for another time when the two of you were alone and not looking at mangled corpses.

To put it simply, this case was exhausting. The team had been up for most of the night, investigating and setting up with the local PD. You and Luke had checked out the scene and gathered everything you could about the sadistic killer. But then you had returned back to the station where you settled in for the next few hours. It was a long night and your investigation dragged out long past the rise of the sun.

By the time that night fell again, the team was exhausted and had hit a brick wall in the profile. It was clear that nobody was really feeling their best so Emily ordered everyone to head back to the hotel and get some rest so they could take another crack at the case the next day. You were glad of the break. The exhaustion had made you feel brain-dead and you needed to switch your brain off for a few hours.

You, JJ, Luke and Emily took one of the cars back to the hotel and when the two women had taken off to their rooms, Luke walked you to yours. It was the gentleman thing to do - he had said - which just made you laugh. Both of you were exhausted and you couldn’t help giggle at him. You also knew that he wasn’t just being a gentleman.

He had dropped his bag into your room earlier so you didn’t even bother discussing whether Luke would stay with you. He was going to and he let you tug him inside once you had slipped into the room.

“I feel like my brain is melting out of my skull,” You muttered as you closed the door behind the two of you. Luke walked over to his to-go bag, an amused chuckle escaping his lip at your comment. You watched him from the bedroom door, a smile spreading across your face. He looked so cute. He was clearly just as tired as you were but he was keeping a brave face. You assumed that he was probably used to not sleeping amazing.

But you wanted him to sleep well tonight. So you wandered over to him and leant up to press a kiss to his lips. He smiled down at you before he pecked your lips again. Then he told you to get ready for bed. So, the two of you switched into your pajamas and you curled up on the bed. Luke was still in the bathroom as you buried your face in the pillow.

Now that you were alone with Luke again, that familiar ache had reappeared between your legs. It was really not the time and you just wanted to sleep but seeing him shirtless and looking so domestic as you brushed your teeth together had you reminded of the weekend. The way he held you, kissed you and his moans and whines and the way that he had used you for his own release. It had all been so much in the best way and the memories were making you want him so bad but you were on a case, you couldn’t do it now. As much as you wanted to.

“Everything okay?” Luke’s voice brought you from your spiraling thoughts. You nodded, sending him a slightly fake smile before you shuffled to the side on the bed so that he could get in beside you. You hadn’t even realized that your thighs were squeezing together to get some sort of relief until you had to shuffle. The ache was worse now.

Once he was comfortably under the covers, you moved towards him, ignoring the wetness in your panties in favor of snuggling up to him. His arm wrapped around your back, tugging you closer and you settled down, letting your eyes fall closed.

“Luke,” You muttered after a moment. He tilted his head down as you looked up, meeting your gaze, “I didn’t cross a line when we got called in, did I?” You asked softly. You would have asked him earlier but between the case and the rush to get to the jet, you hadn’t really got a chance to check in with him.

“No.” He said firmly. You nodded and rested your forehead back against his chest, “Just wish I could have repaid the favour,” He mumbled. You shrugged,

“You’ll just have to make up for it when we’re home,” You retorted. He let out a ‘mhm’ of agreement but his mind seemed distracted. You glanced up at him, feeling a sudden change in how he was holding onto you, “What’s wrong?” You asked quickly. He looked down at you, a devious look in his eyes.

“I want to fuck you in my own bed but I can still repay the favour in a different way,” He said as he moved his hand to cup your jaw. Your eyes fell closed, the thought of him finally giving you the release that you desperately craved just making you wetter, “And it might help you sleep a little better. I can feel how tense you are, carina,” He whispered in your ear. You bit your lip before you forced your eyes back open, looking at him.

“Please,” You whispered softly. He grinned and then he moved to sit up, his back against the headboard. He tugged you between his legs, your back pressed against his front and your legs hooked over his, spread out for him. Your head moved to rest back but the tension in your shoulders was still present. He leant down and slowly began to kiss against your neck, hoping that the soft kisses would relax you a little.

“Where do you want me to touch you?” He asked, his voice low in your ear. His hands were resting against your thighs, open for you to take. You bit your lip before you shifted your hand to grab his, slipping it under your pajama shirt. His hand engulfed your tit and he gently squeezed it, “Just there?” He asked, teasing a little. You shook your head and took his other hand, slipping it under the waistband of your pajama pants and underwear. His finger nudged your clit as you guided him to your slit and you twitched against him, “Fuck,” He breathed out. Your hand slipped away from him as his fingers began to move of their own accord.

He ran his fingers through your wetness, collecting it between his fingers before he dragged the fingertips up to your clit. He circled the bud and you let out a breathy whine. Your head fell back against him, your shoulders relaxing.

“Good girl,” He whispered into your ear as he began to move his fingers into a steady circle over your clit. It was a little slower than what you usually did to get yourself off but the slow build up of pleasure was tantalizing. He then shifted his hand against your tit to gently pinch your nipple. You let out a shaky breath, eyes falling closed as he moved, “Tell me if it’s too much,” He said after a beat. You nodded your head vehemently.

“It’s good, it’s so good,” You whimpered as he continued his movements on your clit. His head moved down to press a kiss to your hair before he shifted. His hand that had been pinching and playing with your nipple, trailed across your stomach and down to the waistband of your pants.

“I wanna take these off,” He said as he fiddled with the waistband. His movements on your clit hadn’t let up and the build-up was making you squirm. Part of you wanted him to go faster though. You knew that if he just went a little faster, you’d get that release you’d been craving, “Carina,” He whispered against your ear and you groaned softly, tilting your head up. You forced your eyes back open but they were half-lidded as he looked at you.

“Go a little faster, please,” You begged. It quickly became clear to him that you hadn’t comprehended his request which only made him smirk.

“Okay, baby, I can do that.” He was quick to comply, moving his fingers a little faster. You bit your lip, throwing your head back against his chest. Your back arched against him and he grinned against your skin. He was going to have fun with this. You were breathing heavily as your hands fisted into the sheets.

The pleasure was building in your gut and you could feel that familiar pull of release but you didn’t want this to end. A low moan of his name fell from your lips when he suddenly began to flick across your clit rather than circling it. His free hand shifting from the waistband of your pants up to your neck.

“Is this okay?” He whispered as he gently squeezed on your neck. You were practically panting as you moved one hand from the sheets up into his hair. You did your best to nod your head, panting out ‘yes, yes, yes’. His lips were resting against the shell of your ear and you felt the breathy chuckle that escaped his lips at your whining and moaning.

“Oh God,” You whined as your back arched further, fingers tugging at the root of his hair. Your walls were contracting around nothing, clit throbbing with each flick of his fingertips.

“You’re being so good for me, baby. Cum for me, carina. Let me give you what you need,” He whispered against your ear as his fingers squeezed around your throat. You were panting, eyes falling closed and his mumbles of praise was the last straw.

Your thighs were shaking as you threw your head back, moaning his name as you came. The slick gushed out of you and his fingers were quick to dip down to catch it. He smirked against your ear, letting his hand slip from your neck to your stomach. You felt completely boneless and relaxed for the first time in months. It barely took anything for him to have you whining and keening for him and he couldn’t deny that he was high on the power.

As you came down, he pressed soft kisses to the skin of your neck and his hand that had been on your clit settled to rest in your underwear but away from your sensitive clit. You had sounded so pretty moaning his name and he wanted to hear it again. He wanted to truly repay you for what you’d done for him, “Do you want another one?” He asked softly. His lips brushing against the shell of your ear. You bit your lip, eyes still closed but you did. You really did.

“Please,” You whimpered. He chuckled and slipped his hands up to tug at the waist of your pants and underwear.

“Gotta take this off then,” He said. You nodded and lifted your hips up so that he could slip the fabric down your legs. He didn’t bother stripping them completely and instead let them settle just above your calves. It gave him enough room to work and he was quick to slip one hand to your cunt and the other to your clit.

When he pressed his fingers against it, you shivered. It was still sensitive from your first orgasm but the pleasure from the slow circles he ran around it made the overstimulation easy to ignore. His hand on your cunt ran two fingers through your slit. You were so wet for him and it made slipping a single finger into your weeping hole that much easier.

The feeling of his fingers inside you had you keening but you knew that you could take more than that. It seemed Luke quickly understood that too and slipped a second one inside. His thick fingers filled you up just right and he curled his fingers inside you. Your walls contracted around him and he smirked against your hair.

“Oh, carina, you're desperate for it, aren’t you?” He whispered. You nodded your head, biting your lip as you canted your hips forward slightly. His fingers buried deeper inside you and he smirked, “Want me to move my fingers?” He asked. You nodded, begging him with soft whimpers of ‘please’ and ‘yes’ and he slowly began to move them in and out. His other hand was still circling your clit and the combination of pleasure was making you melt into him. Whimpers and moans falling from your lips as one of your hands buried further into his hair. You were gripping at his curls, canting your hips in time with his thrusts.

“Do you need me to be faster, baby?” He asked. You nodded your head, letting out a needy whimper as you turned your head to look at him. His eyes were hooded, blown-wide with lust as he took in just how destroyed you look. Mussy hair, parted lips, half-lidded eyes and the squelching of his fingers as he shoved into you, you looked beautiful.

“I-” You tried to say something but then he changed pace on your clit again. He began to flick it, moving side-to-side and all that came from your lips was a moan of his name. Your head falling back against his shoulder, “I’ll- your fingers-” You wanted to tell him, you wanted to warn him but the quicker he moved, the harder it became to speak.

Your mind was becoming a hazy mush as he slipped a third finger into you. Your walls tightened around him, thighs shaking as you lifted up slightly. Body pressed against him, “You’re gonna- make me- fuck your fingers will make me squirt,” You finally managed to get out between breathy whines and moans. Luke smirked and it just seemed to make him move faster. His fingers slipped in and out of you quickly. Your walls were squeezing him, hips meeting his every movement as he flicked your clit quicker.

You felt it. The tendril of pleasure that was about to snap and then it did. It was like everything shunted forward and you squirted. His hands were soaked with it and it dripped down to your ass, soaking the bed beneath you as you panted, whined and moaned his name. He was pretty sure he’d never seen such a pretty sight.

“Fuck,” He groaned as he slowly pulled his fingers from you. They were shining with slick and he couldn’t help grinning. He hadn’t expected to make you cum like that but he couldn’t say it wasn’t a beautiful sight.

“Should have- should have warned you,” You mumbled as you fell back against him. Your head was lolling to the side, rested against him as you panted against the skin of his neck. He leant forward and pressed a kiss to his temple, shifting you forward so that you curled up against him.

Your legs were shaking still, your pussy throbbing as you turned to the side to rest your head against him. His hands were covered in your slick and he was mesmerized by it, “I’m sorry, it’s messy,” You muttered, clearly you were fucked out. Your eyes could barely stay open as you rested your cheek against his chest.

“Don’t apologize,” He suddenly said. His voice was low, stern and serious, “Nothing wrong with messy,” He mumbled before he leant down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. He wanted to hold your face and kiss you properly but he needed to clean up his hands first. You also needed to go to the bathroom.

“Thank you,” You muttered. He pressed another kiss to your forehead before he coaxed you out of your post-orgasm bliss. It wasn’t long before he had taken you into the bathroom and while he washed his hands of your slick, you sat on the toilet. You were so tired but you pissed, wiped yourself up and joined him at the sink. You washed and dried your hands before you trudged up to him. You wrapped your arms around his torso.

He wrapped his arms around you, tugging you against him before he connected your lips into a soft kiss. It was just a few pecks before you pulled back, eyes half-closed. The sleepiness was making its presence known and he knew that you both needed to get some sleep. Also, your post-orgasm bliss had only seemed to make you even sleepier. You seemed more relaxed than you had been all day. He felt bad for leaving you so worked up but it wasn’t going to do that again.

With a gentle tug, he took you back into the bedroom and he checked over the bed. There was only a small patch of wetness which he was quick to avoid as he tugged you under the covers. Part of him felt bad for making such a mess and not having the forethought to lay a couple of towels down before he fucked you with his fingers but he had seen you squirt tonight and so, he wasn’t really sorry at all.

When you both got back into the bed, Luke let you curl up on top of him. Your head rested against his peck, the soft thrum of his heart lulling you into serenity.

“Can’t wait to be back home. Wanna see what else you can do,” You mumbled softly against him. He chuckled, his chest vibrating with it as you smiled against his skin. He moved his hand to rest against your back, running patterns along your skin.

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” He responded. You hummed back before finally letting yourself succumb to sleep. Within seconds, you were conked out and he just watched you for a little bit. Your chest rose and fell steadily as you snuggled against him in your sleep. It was soothing to have someone after so long. He wanted you to fall asleep against his chest for the rest of his life and he loved you even if he wasn’t ready to tell you that yet.

next chapter

#luke alvez x reader #luke alvez x you #luke alvez #criminal minds #luke alvez fluff #luke alvez fic #luke alvez smut #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader #reader-insert #built to fall

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