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#i'm going to keep trying to get back in the saddle
5sospenguinqueen · 5 months
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Post Space Tension | Charles Leclerc x McLaren! Reader
Summary: Struggling with the new frame of her relationship, Y/N decides a visit to her sister is in order. Charles realises that not having you close is even worse than you beating him.
Warnings: Swearing. Female reader. Verstappen! Reader.
I know you guys wanted angst but the doe eyes got to me.
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 4
Main Masterlist
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and others
YourUserName a lovely visit with my favourite sibling @ victoriaverstappen, and an even lovelier surprise (p.s. Max already knew so no, I'm not spoiling it for him)
5,657 comments
User 1 charles in the likes but not in the comments
maxverstappen1 stop trying to get our nephews to like you more than me
→ YourUserName they already do (even the unborn one)
maxverstappen1 also, how am i not the favourite sibling. i listen to all your boy troubles
→ User 2 boy troubles!!!
→ User 3 all??? how many boys are there 😒
landonorris can't believe you had lunch without me
→ georgerussell63 really don't help yourself, mate
lance_stroll not the burger a week before a race
→ YourUserName don't tell my trainer
→ lance_stroll too late
mclaren future papaya racer
→ maxverstappen1 no.
User 4 so, are you and charles still together? the world is dying to know if he was caught cheating or not
→ User 5 apparently they're still together but taking time apart
→ User 6 source: trust me bro
victoriaverstappen we loved seeing you but he keeps asking for uncy sha so maybe bring a visitor next time?? 🤍
liked by charles_leclerc
→ YourUserName can't believe i'm not enough :( but at least i'm introducing him to disappointment early on
→ User 7 not her sister spilling the tea
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User 8 so, does this mean LeStappen are back in the same country?
User 9 how's he going to keep his distance when they're on the same track
User 10 i feel tension brewing
User 11 anyone see arthur's latest tweet?
→ User 9 no why?
→ User 11 he posted that pic of charles and that woman but from another angle. arthur was with them that day and it looks like arthur's holding the woman's hand?
→ User 8 so charles wasn't on a date with that woman?!?! chay/n shippers rise!
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by lilymhe, alex_albon and others
YourUserName 'cause i'm back in the saddle again tagged: landonorris, danielricciardo
6,456 comments
danielricciardo alternate caption was 'me and pookies' but lando and i talked her down from that
→ landonorris you're just jealous that i'm pookie #1
landonorris 🔥🔥
redbullracing we still think you'd look better in navy
→ mclaren back, back, i say 🤺
→ scuderiaferrari please, we all know red is her colour
liked by charles_leclerc
→ User 12 we see you charles
landonorris @ redbullracing stop trying to steal my teammate
→ arthur_leclerc stop trying to steal my brother's girlfriend
(comment deleted)
→ User 13 we saw that, arthur
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skysportsf1 just posted
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liked by YourUserName, maxverstappen1 and others
skysportsf1 read the latest interview from the Verstappen twins, and how racing helped strengthen their bond
tagged: YourUserName, maxverstappen1
7,905 comments
f1 our favourite twins
YourUserName wow, we look good. thanks for having us, it was so nice to be able to hype each other up and get paid for it
maxverstappen1 can't believe they left out the part where i said i only like you because i beat you
→ YourUserName because you told them not to? stop trying to make out like you hate me so people think you're tough. everyone saw you cry when i won
danielricciardo alternate caption was 'join us as we chat with racer, y/n verstappen and her lesser-known brother, max'
→ YourUserName he threatened to sue if they used that title
→ maxverstappen1 i hate you both
lance_stroll only read for y/n
alex_albon love how they tried to make max sound good at padel
georgerussell63 does anyone know who either of these people are? it's amazing who they class as celebrities these days
User 13 living for the grid picking on them (max)
mclaren going to need these pics blown up and hung in my living room
→ charles_leclerc agreed
→ redbullracing charles is all of us
User 14 not charles trying to hide in the comments
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Part 4 will be the final part. Thank you for coming on the journey of self-indulgent fics x
Tag list: @mehrmonga @luvsforme @lemon-lav @missenclod @halleest @formula1mount @k4marina @evie-119 @letmeseeyougotowork @sleepybrokenmelle @eiaaasamantha @tinyhrry @janeholt3 @allywthsr @callsignwidow @raizelchrysanderoctavius @prudyhoo @valentinanappipage @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @delululeclerc @e-nonsense @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir @thecubanator2 @butterfliesflyaroundmymind @kqliie @sweate-r-weathe-r @lifeless-firefly @woozarts @silverxxs-world @personwhoisther @eugene-emt-roe @anthonykatebridgerton @entr4p3 @carpediem241108 @forevercaffeinated-lee @youre-on-your-ownkid @xyzstar
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simpforrooster · 1 year
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nothing but a gentleman.
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Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x F!Reader
summary: jake is obsessed with you. you eat it up. you’re obsessed with his obsession. but also with him.
t/w: soft!jake, some cursing
"Get out of here, Bagman. You're giving me a headache."
The blonde aviator grabs at his chest. "God, I love it when you're mean to me." Those green eyes sparkle with mischief under the lights of the Hard Deck.
Jake 'Hangman' Seresin has been pining after you for months.
& you have been loving every second of it. Miramar's resident playboy has only had eyes for you. You haven't seen him spare a glance at any of the other ladies in the bar.
Believe me, they've been looking at him.
"Y/n, how long are you going to keep my boy at arm's length?" Coyote asks from the other side of the pool table. Jake saddles up next to him and feeds you the saddest pout he can muster.
"Yeah, y/n, how long?" Jake asks.
Your intention wasn't to drag this hard-to-get play out for so long. Truthfully, it's becoming hard not to give in to those strong arms. To not lean in when he invades your personal space, feeding you a smart ass comment.
Your shoulder comes up to your ear and falls back down. "Hard to say, Bagman."
"Let's play for it," he tells you. Jake saunters over to you, and leans against the pool table. Crossing his arms over his fit chest, he situates his mouth just outside your ear. "If I win, you've gotta give me a kiss, darlin'."
The way his hot breath falls across your ear causes goosebumps to appear down your arms. Jake notices, and a blonde brow raises.
"What are you? Twelve?" you antagonize.
"Oh, honey. I'm willing to try anything at this point."
"Rack 'em. Honey." You lightly shove him back, your hands reacting to the small second they were on his chest.
"If I win, you give it up," you send the man a sad look.
"Give what up?" he asks.
"All this pining'." Your hand gestures wildly around in the air.
For a moment, despair crosses over that handsome face. He recovers quickly. "Oh, I'm not worried."
Jake lets you break. Two stripes fall into the pocket. Jake comes up behind you before your next shot. His hand slides across your waist and he pulls you into his side.
Right as you pull back, Jake leans down. "Don't scratch."
The cueball follows your striped ball into the pocket.
"Damn," he murmurs. It takes a full 45 seconds to get your heart rate under control.
The jig is up once Jake get in control of the pool table. Not only is he the dagger squad's best dart player, he's got the best pool table on lock, too. There is no way he's going to take it easy on you.
Naturally, he doesn't.
"One more and Hangman gets a kiss," he smirks. He doesn't take his eyes off your as he pulls back and send the cue ball sailing.
The eight ball falls into it's intended pocket effortlessly. Followed right by the cue ball.
Shock falls across all your faces. Jake has never lost a game of pool. Ever.
Jake sets the cue stick down, and rounds the table. Standing toe-to-toe with you, he feeds you a delicious smirk.
"Darlin', I ain't gonna make you kiss me if you don't want to. Furthermore, I only want your kiss if its of your own volition." He tucks a strand of stray hair behind your ear.
Your eyes lock with his and the world stops. What a fucking gentleman.
Fisting the front of his shirt, you yank him down to your mouth. Jake relaxes into the kiss immediately and allows his hands to slide around your waist.
Jake takes control, changing the direction and deepening the kiss. Your hands move from his shirt to the nap of his neck, fingers knotting in his hair. His hair that’s gotten just a bit long.
Jake pulls back just a hair, his lips a breath away from yours. “Damn,” he mumbles, again.
“My own volition, huh?”
“I’m nothing if not a gentleman,” he winks. “A gentleman who is dying to kiss you again.”
You guide his lips back to yours.
“Kiss me, Hangman.”
master list.
a/n: been a little while since i wrote for ole jakey. i hope y'all like it!
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mrtheinsatiable · 2 years
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You ever see a post that's exactly what you needed to see exactly when you needed to see it?
#just that one post that's like a connecting piece in a jigsaw puzzle of ideas that lets you fill out a corner all of a sudden#all these little nebulous things that feel like they fit in the same place but you can't see how yet#and then you get that last piece that pulls them together#i really let myself go since I've been out of work#and it's kind of just been feeling like nothing really matters#not necessarily in a bad way#like in a neutral way#I've been having fun just kind of not existing in the world for a while#but it feels like it's time to pull myself back together#and start taking care of myself#instead of running away from myself#because honestly sometimes when i really look at myself it feels like I'm looking at some hopeless mess#i keep thinking 'how did i end up with a self like this? why is this the person I've been saddled to live as?'#but I've noticed recently that all of my favorite characters are the same way#people who are a mess and hate themselves and do stupid ass self destructive things#when at the heart of it they just feel lonely and unworthy#but they don't know where to direct that feeling or even what that feeling is#every time i see a character like that i just want to sit with them and hold their hand and tell them it'll be okay#and it's like#hey man maybe you should try doing that for yourself#like maybe i should just love and care for myself directly#instead of loving myself by proxy through the lens of a fictional character#idk i think I'm gonna clean my kitchen today
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a-hazbin-reader · 7 months
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Heave you done hcs with Wifey scratching/touching Alastor’s ears/tail?
I HAVE NOW??
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: Suggestive
Description: ☝️⬆️
Alastor only trusts his wife to mess with his ears and tail, everyone else would lose a hand if they tried, some people actually have
But with you, it's different, he's comfortable with you and doesn't mind letting you see all his different reactions
Will actually seek you out on certain days, laying himself in your lap and hoping you'll get the hint
You know exactly what he wants but it's more fun if you pretend you don't, patting his head before going back to your book
"Long day, my dear~?"
He let's out a small bleat, his ears twitching upwards in an effort to draw your attention to them
"Better now that I'm with you..."
You don't even glance at his ears, nor do you look at his tail when he suddenly stretches out like a cat and wiggles it
Don't make him say it, it's embarrassing
Alastor let's out another bleat and stares at you pitifully, making you hum and hover your hand over his head
He happily meets it and rubs his head against your hand, letting out a happy sigh as your fingers graze along his ears
You can't help but laugh at him a little, rolling your eyes as you rub and scratch behind his fuzzy ears
"You could've just asked me~"
He's gone lax on top of you, his tail swaying as the rest of him lays in a daze
"Hn... too embarrassing..."
His eyes are closed, head tilting to get you to scratch at a different angle as he practically drools in your lap
Once he's asleep, you lean down to kiss his ears and watch them twitch from the soft touch
He's such a cute man
His tail is a slightly different story, he covers it for a reason and finds the area to be very sensitive
His tail is far more expressive than his ears, and you use it against him whenever you can
So usually, when you're touching it, it's to rile him up or let him know just what he's in for later
He's taken off his jacket and is distracted by whatever he's working on? His tail slowly swaying as he hums to himself with his back turned to you?
How are you not supposed to mess with his tail when he leaves it out like that???
You saddle up next to him, kissing his cheek and neck affectionately as your hand creeps it's way down his back
"Darling, just what has gotten into you~?"
His tone is playful, tilting his head to give you more access as he wraps one arm around you to keep you from pulling away
Your other hand plays with one of his ears, leaning up to kiss the tip of it before whispering in his ear
"Nothing yet~"
Your words paired with the fact that you're twirling his tail in your fingers makes his entire body go hot
His ears stick up straight, and he drops what he's holding, giving you a wobbly smile as he tries to compose himself
"You are an insatiable woman!"
You just smile at him sweetly and keep rubbing his tail, the traitorous thing wagging from the attention as a pleased shudder runs through the rest of his body
It's all he can do to suppress a groan, giving you a dangerous look but not trying to stop you
"Upstairs. Our bedroom. Give me two minutes."
You can't help but laugh and give him one last kiss before sauntering out of the room, eager to do as Alastor says
You stop at the doorway, looking back to give him a look that would scare most people but instead turns Alastor on
"Don't keep my waiting, Alastor~ Or I'll come back and bite those cute ears of yours~"
His ears and tail both stick up straight, frantically putting away his little project and scrambling after you
Don't threaten him with a good time
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I'm a sucker for teasing this man 😭
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shotmrmiller · 10 months
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A/N: This was supposed to be a small thing cuz i inhale toxic ex's like air but here we are.
Thinking of a toxic ex!Simon that you broke up with almost a year ago. You wanted more than what he was willing to give you— unbelievable fuck aside— and you were just gonna get hurt in the long run. So you ended it.
What hurt the most was how he didn't even try to put up a fight. He just stood in front of you, as impassive as ever.
"If that's what you want." He shrugged.
And that was that. Ever since then, you've focused on yourself and your job. Meaning no dates, no get-togethers, nothing. Just work and lonely nights with a glass of wine. That he hadn't reached out once in all this time certainly rubbed salt on your wounds.
Now you're here. Out with a group of friends at a bar, after being borderline guilt-tripped into coming. A couple of mango martinis in and you're approached by a handsome fellow. Curly, brown locks and sun-kissed skin.
"Can I buy you another one, lass?"
"Sure. I'll never turn down a free drink."
He chuckles and his smooth laughter sends a shiver up your spine. As he turns away to get the bartender, you flick your eyes at your friends. They're giving you cheeky smiles and thumbs up.
Rolling your eyes with a smile, Mr. Handsome comes back with your drink before saddling up next to you on a bar stool.
"So what's a beautiful bird such as yourself doing all alone here?"
"I've been locked up for too long. Needed a change of scenery. And I gotta say, the view's quite nice."
He grabbed the back of your stool and dragged you a little closer to him, before tilting his head to the side— emerald green eyes half lidded and slightly covered by his curly hair.
"Is that right? I gotta say I also like what I'm seeing." Moving his hand from the padding of your stool to hook onto your hip, he says, "How about we move to a more private setting? Do you live nearby?"
He'd be the first guy since Simon that you've shown any interest in. You weren't ready for a relationship yet, but a distraction wouldn't hurt. And his staggering good looks certainly helped his case.
Nodding, you take out your phone from your purse to text your friends that have somehow disappeared when it vibrates, so you unlock your screen.
Take him home and I'm slitting his throat.
You flinch and look around wildly in a panic. Where is he?
"Hey, are you alright?"
Your phone vibrates again and you swallow hard before opening the text.
If his hand doesn't remove itself from your body, it'll be coming off of his.
You squeak before aggressively removing yourself from the stool, tripping over your heels. You weren't as sober as you'd like to be. The guy tries to stabilize you by grabbing your wrist but you jerk yourself away from his grip.
"I uh, I have somewhere to be." You toss on your jacket over your shoulders before running towards the front door and into the cool, rainy night.
Bzzt. Another text.
Good choice. I'd have hated ruining your nice purple comforter. It's one of my favorites.
You turn your body, doing a 360, eyes aimlessly looking for the ghost of your past life, when your phone rings. You frantically press the answer button.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!?"
You hear him tsk. "I'd lower that tone of yours, love. I don't appreciate being spoken to like that," he says condescendingly.
Sighing, "I'm allowing you to continue this delusional 'break' of yours, but my patience runs thin. No one is allowed to touch you but me."
Your heart beats viciously at his audacity and tears start running down your cheeks. In fear, in relief or in anger, you don't know.
"Don't cry, doll. You should've known you'd always be mine. Now go home. I'll keep you safe."
Hanging up, you do as he says, wondering how long he's been keeping tabs on you— haunting you. You make a note to yourself to check your flat for cameras.
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woso-dreamzzz · 3 months
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Charity
Hardersson x Daughter!Reader
Natalia Guijarro (OC) x Hardersson!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: You and Talia discuss your teams
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You had always been smart.
You don't think either of your mothers had predicted just how smart you would become but it was a welcome surprise for all three of you.
You knew more languages than some people could dream off. You thrived at school. You had a degree from Cambridge. You'd just completed your coaching license.
Which is how you ended up in this situation.
You flick your pencil over at Talia. "Fuck you!" You laugh," I wanted her!"
You had no idea who had cooked up such a strange idea but they did.
A charity match.
Two teams of twenty-two players.
Eleven active players.
Eleven retired players.
With the list of people signed up in your hands, you don't know why you and Talia were chosen as the coaches but you were, so the two of you were trying to decide which players you wanted and which players you didn't.
Talia sticks her tongue out at you. "Isabella would prefer to be on my team."
"Fine," You declare, eyes skimming down your list of current players. If Talia could choose her national teammate then you would too. "I want Marika."
Talia's face goes cloudy and you know you've just pinched a player that she wanted.
"We could swap," You tease and she rolls her eyes, throwing back your pencil.
"No chance!"
It's easy enough to secure your eleven active players. Most of them you know personally, some national teammates, some club teammates and a few of the girls you used to play with on the Denmark youth team.
You're happy with your choices. You can make it work.
The harder part was choosing your eleven retired players.
One name sticks out to you.
"You can have her," You say, reaching onto the table to grab a strawberry lace from the pile.
You're both on opposite ends of the sofa, legs stretched out as you go through the lists.
Talia knows exactly who you're talking about.
"No," She says with a sweet smile that's incredibly fake," You can have her, really."
You click your tongue. "No, I insist. It's a bonding opportunity. Take her."
"No, really. I can't take this opportunity away from you. I-"
"It's fine. I'm taking Momma."
"We didn't discuss that!"
"I get Momma. You get Morsa. There. Discussion done."
Maybe it's a little bit of sabotage on your part, saddling Morsa and Talia on the same team but you never said you would go easy on her.
"She was a world class centreback," You tease and Talia sighs.
"You're right," She says," I'm sure she'll have no problems keeping Pernille quiet." Her finger goes down the list. "I want Aitana."
You grin. "You just don't want Alexia. What? Think you can't boss her around like she does you?"
"That woman is scary," Talia says," I can admit that. I don't need her judging my tactics."
You shiver a little. You hadn't thought of that.
"Do you want Zećira?"
You freeze. You hadn't realised Zećira was on the list until you'd gotten to the very bottom.
Zećira had been your idol for years. You'd just adored her. She was the reason you were a keeper in the first place.
When you were younger, all you wanted to do was grow up quick enough so you could play with her.
"No," You say," You can have her."
Talia frowns. "Are you sure?"
You nod. "Yes. You can have her."
Zećira is your idol and always will be.
When you were younger, you wanted to be just like her. Now, you want to be better than her.
You'll never play against Zećira yourself but this is the closest you'll ever get to going against her.
"Thanks," Talia says," You can have Patri, if you want."
"I'll take her."
The keys jingle as they're pressed into your front door and Prins comes barrelling in, leaping up onto the sofa to give you kisses.
Pernille and Magda slip in after him.
"Everything sorted out?" Pernille asks as she takes in the papers scattered around.
"Done," Talia confirms," Squads are announced in a few days and then a one week training camp before the match."
Pernille smiles. "I look forward to seeing who's coaching me."
"Us," Magda cuts in," Coaching us."
You and Talia exchange looks.
"You separated us?"
You shrug. "It's football, Morsa," You tease," I'm sure you understand."
Magda's mouth hangs open for a moment and Kung gets annoyed when he notices she's stopped stroking his ears.
He thumps his foot angrily on the floor, the only noise over Magda's obvious shock.
Her eyes dart between you and Talia.
"No," She says as you both laugh," You're kidding."
"It's a good bonding opportunity." You blow her a kiss. "Didn't you tell me you wanted to see what Talia's like as a coach?"
"I...She...You..."
"Close your mouth, Magda," Pernille laughs," You'll catch flies."
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rcmclachlan · 3 months
Text
Relative Value (buck/tommy)
"And I feel for her, you know? I really do. The dissolution of a relationship, especially a marriage, feels like you're drowning in hot tar, and you spend every waking moment kicking your way to the surface to try and breathe. But if she brings up her divorce again while I'm in the middle of peeing? I'm going to divorce her head from her body."
Buck makes a face at the thought of Maddie's decapitated coworker. "Please don't send the 118 to that scene. I'm not so great with entrails these days. Send the 147—they deserve it after they botched that extrication on Monday." 
Maddie laughs, the sound tinny but comfortingly familiar coming through his phone's speakers. She'd propped her phone on Jee-Yun's dresser halfway through the call so she could put away laundry while she talked, and for the last five minutes he's been watching her fold Jee's clothes like she's being judged at the Olympics. 
It's nice to see that hasn't changed. Maddie should've been in jail years ago for the way she loads a dishwasher, but when it comes to laundry she's a goddamn wizard. When he was younger, his parents saddled him with taking out the trash and doing the dishes, but putting away the laundry was always Maddie's chore. She actually enjoyed it, the weirdo. She used to tell him the first whiff of warm Snuggle right out of the dryer was a cure-all. Also, she can fold a fitted sheet in under ten seconds. He'd timed her once.
Maddie takes an eye-wateringly orange shirt out of the laundry basket and with three decisive motions turns it into a perfect rectangle. If Jee ever decides she wants to go deer hunting, she'll be all set. "Since when are you not good with entrails?" 
"Since that guy was ripped in half last week."
It'd easily been the grizzliest car crash he'd ever been called to. It made the 405 pileup a few years back look like Disney on Ice. About halfway through tagging and bagging almost a dozen casualties strewn all over the westbound lanes of the Pomona Freeway, the guy responsible for the crash snapped awake while Hen and Chimney were setting up and drove off in a panic. The top-half of the motorist stuck under his car was dragged maybe sixty feet, and Buck had a front row seat to the sight of the poor guy's nerves and vasculature trailing behind him like squid tentacles before the driver came to a stop by hitting yet another car. 
"I'm also not eating spaghetti for the foreseeable future, FYI," he adds.
Maddie wrinkles her nose. "Okay, changing the subject: when do you leave again?"
It wouldn't be an overstatement to say the smile that question invokes explodes over his face. He feels it happen; the spark eats the fuse so quickly there's barely any lead-up and his cheeks burn from the sheer magnitude of the blast. 
"You look deranged," Maddie says, laughing.
"I feel deranged." He's been like this all week and it's starting to scare everyone. Chimney keeps leaving pamphlets for Clozaril in his locker. "Tomorrow morning. We're picking up the bird right after we do a coffee run."
"I wish my boyfriend was whisking me away to the mountains for a romantic getaway." Maddie heaves a theatrical sigh. "My husband says the best he can do is Shake Shack."
The whole thing is absolutely bonkers. He'd been minding his own business, half-watching a documentary about volcanoes with his feet in Tommy's lap, when they showed some insanely beautiful footage of Mount Rainier. And although his mind was focused on completing level 29 of Euclidea, his mouth was busy saying, "I've always wanted to go there." 
Thumb digging into Buck's instep, Tommy had made a thoughtful sound and said, "I'd tapped a buddy of mine to get us into Griffith Observatory after hours, but I like your idea way better. Let's do it."
If someone had told Buck 1.0 that someday a beast of a man would be flying him by helicopter to the Cascades for their two-year anniversary, he would've laughed his way into a pneumothorax. And then he would've tried to fuck his nurse. 
He looks across the living room to where their bags have been sitting, fully packed, since last night, and grins. "Tell Chim he needs to step up his game. You're worth Zankou, at least."
Maddie snorts. "Gee, thanks."
Behind her, there's unexpected movement, and every muscle in his body locks up as his heart stops in a moment of brief, blinding terror. 
It's stupid to feel this way after seven years, but a little part of him is still waiting for Doug to crawl out of the shadows like a wraith to finish what he tried to do. He's spent many a sleepless night spiraling to the soundtrack of Chimney's desperate, Do you know he's dead for sure? Did you see a body?
Buck did see his body, but a little voice sometimes whispers to him from some deep, dark place at two in the morning: it was freezing that day. It could've slowed the bleeding, could've kept him alive long enough to go to a hospital. You don't know what happened after the ambulance left with him. What if he survived? What if he's out there right now, just biding his time?
Which are bad and ridiculous thoughts to have because he knows that monster is dead, and frankly he's got better things to think about than Doug, who's absolutely having his skin torn off in hell right now—especially since his adorable, perfect niece is the one who came into the room. 
"Say hi to your uncle, Jee," Maddie says, smiling. In her hands, a pair of polka dot leggings becomes a polka dot brick with hospital corners. 
Jee-Yun jumps a little like she can't quite see him, and Maddie goes over to the dresser to obligingly tilt the camera down. 
"Hi, Uncle Buck." Jee-Yun waves, then rises an inch or two higher in the frame, and he realizes she's standing on her tiptoes. She cranes her head, moving it a bit from side to side like she's looking for something. After a few seconds, she drops back down, grimacing in disappointment.
He looks over his shoulder, but no one's there. "Sorry, kiddo, it's just me."
"Just you is fine, always," Maddie immediately pipes up, and he ducks his head with a smile. It's always nice to hear her say that. "It's just that… well, she had a question and we weren't sure if you were the one we should be asking."
Buck grins. "Lay it on me, Jee."
It's always a little hilarious to watch how Jee reacts when the spotlight's on her. She bounces and twirls a little, and her whale-spout pigtails move with her. For someone getting ready to enter kindergarten, she's got the stage presence of a Broadway star. "Uncle Buck, how do airplanes fly when they're so big and heavy?"
He opens his mouth to answer her, but there's nothing there, just an empty pocket of air that tastes vaguely like the ham sandwich he had for lunch. He closes his mouth with a click, stymied. He could've sworn he knew this one. Something about lift and drag?
"Jee, I-I'm sorry. I don't know off the top of my head. I could look it up for you?"
A little groan escapes her, but it turns into a shriek when a tie-dyed sweatshirt comes winging from off-camera and lands on her head. Jee wrestles the shirt away, static making her hair cling to her face, which she swipes with a whine. 
"That's why I wanted to ask Uncle Tommy!"
Buck has forgotten a lot about the tsunami. Time has softened the memory of how warm the water was, how it shoved its way into his mouth and nostrils like it was trying to find a way inside his veins, and that it was filled with so much debris it scored the insides of his cheeks bloody. But the one thing he never lost was how his feet went out from under him when that first wave hit like a freight train. He hasn't been able to ride a roller coaster since: he doesn't see the need to pay to experience the feeling of free fall again. He remembers every second of it like it just happened. 
He may be sitting on the couch with his feet firmly on the floor, but his stomach is thrilling at the familiar sensation of being completely unmoored. Only instead of being dragged into the dark, he's being pulled up into endless blue. 
Breathless with stratospheric joy, he digs his trembling fingers into his knees like it's going to do anything to keep him grounded, and chokes out, "Who, Jee?"
The look Jee turns on the camera is so confused that Buck isn't sure he was even using real words just then. It could've been a jumble of sounds falling from his mouth like aquarium gravel. 
"Uncle Tommy," Jee says, with the patient air of someone who forgot they were talking to an idiot. "It's okay if you don't know about airplanes, Uncle Buck. You drive fire trucks."
He's pretty sure he was just insulted. Behind Jee, Maddie's wide-eyed and mouthing an ecstatic oh my god! 
"Tell you what. When—" he swallows thickly, overcome "—Uncle Tommy wakes up from his nap, I'll have him call you and he can tell you all about how planes stay up in the air."
She mulls it over, and he can see the outline of her tongue poking the inside of her cheek like she's swishing the offer around in her mouth. Finally, she gives him two decisive nods of her head that has her pigtails bouncing. "Okay. When's that?"
"I-I don't know. Soon." If the lightning had struck a few feet away from him instead of dead-on, he thinks it would've felt like this. Any second now he's going to vibrate out of his skin and scar Jee for life. "Maybe I should go check on him." 
"I think that's a good idea," Maddie says cheerfully, coming into the foreground. Her eyes are glossy and red, and even with two screens and several miles between them it feels like she's about to wrap him up in the warmest hug. "Why don't we let you go for now? Uncle Tommy can give us a buzz later."
"Yeah, t-that sounds like a plan." He knows he's rocking the deranged look again, except it's somehow so much worse. He doesn't care. He hopes his face gets stuck like this. When he rolls into the station two weeks from tomorrow, he's going to take every pamphlet Chimney shoves at him and eat them.
Maddie's grin is threatening to split her face in half. "Give Uncle Tommy a big kiss from us."
He's going to do way more than that. "You bet. Bye, Mads. Bye, Jee!"
The very second the call ends, he's on his feet and practically running down the hall. Tommy had been coming off a rough 24 earlier when he'd sloppily kissed Buck and then staggered into the bedroom. It's been almost three hours and Buck hasn't heard a peep since. 
Buck makes sure to lift the bedroom door when he opens it so the hinges don't creak, and when he sees Tommy—sprawled diagonally across the mattress with his jeans still on and enough drool soaked into the pillowcase to fill a bathtub—his knees decide it's the perfect time to stop working. He clutches the door frame so he doesn't crumble to the floor under the weight of all this euphoria.
Jee thinks of Tommy as family. It's not hard to figure out the logic she must be using to get there: she has an Uncle Buck, who has had a Tommy for as long as she's been making real memories, and therefore… 
He can't help but wonder who else in the world is operating on that same intel. Jee has no doubt told the teachers at her kindergarten about her mom and dad and her amazingly cool Uncle Buck, but maybe she's also told them about her other uncle, who always lets her ride on his shoulders when they go to the park and who talks to her like she's a forty-seven-year old at brunch. Maybe she's told kids at the playground about the uncle who knows why planes stay in the air and who folded himself into a pretzel because she wanted him to sit next to her at the kids' table last Friendsgiving. Maybe she's drawn shitty pictures in crayon of two stick figures holding hands under a smiling sun, and when her classmates ask who they're supposed to be, she tells them, "That's my Uncle Buck and my Uncle Tommy." 
Inhaling shakily, he makes himself move from the doorway to the bed, crawling in as gingerly as he can. It's all for nothing, though, because Tommy cracks an eye open and fixes it on him. Buck scrunches his face up in apology, but Tommy just smiles a little and tugs Buck down, pressing his face into the space between Buck's neck and shoulder and settling with a hum.
Buck slides a hand into his hair and holds him close, breathing in old sweat and a hint of his own shampoo. "I love you, Uncle Tommy."
"If this is a new kink, I'm going to need at least another two hours of sleep before I'm prepared to tackle it," Tommy mumbles. 
Choking on laughter, Buck presses a kiss to the side of his head and wonders if it's possible to die of happiness. "Not quite. Your niece has a question about airplanes and wants you to call her when you wake up."
When there's no immediate answer, Buck is sure Tommy's fallen back to sleep, but then Tommy shifts a little in his arms, presses a kiss to his shoulder, and murmurs warmly, "Will do."
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shanastoryteller · 18 days
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i'm going to move on from supernatural posting, i swear to god, but first i'm going to talk about ep 9x07 bad boys
the episode itself is fine and good (i mean it's another example of dean having a support network while sam can't have anyone and dean keeping secrets while when sam does it it's the worst betrayal ever but that's not what this is about and sometimes i think about what this show did two earnest, loving traumatized characters by turning them into the most tragic versions of themselves and - ok, this really isn't what this post is about)
but fandom interpretation of this episode actually drives me up a wall because it does a disservice to literally every character
one, john did not leave them without enough money for food. dean gambled it and lost it. there's nothing in canon to say that john was taking longer than expected, that they were running out of money, none of that. dean gambled food money and lost it and then tried to steal to make up for it. he was 16 when this happened and it was a bad decision but i don't think he should be at all vilified for this. he made a dumb mistake and then tried to fix it with another dumb mistake. john was right to be mad and sam was also right to tell him that he shouldn't beat himself up about it. just like with shtriga - yeah, dean was climbing the walls stuck in that hotel room. but you know who else was stuck in that hotel room? sam. and he didn't get a break to go play at the arcade. again, i'm not blaming dean here, he shouldn't have been stuck taking care of his brother that young and he was a kid and john leaving his his children behind while hunting a child eater, whether he was using them for bait or not, is crazy. but dean stealing food wasn't about john's neglect and all the sacrifices dean had to make for sam. it was about him trying to fix his fuck up
two, and this is the one that really gets me, dean didn't go back with john because he had to take care of sam
listen. listen to me. i am speaking from experience when i say this
parentified siblings are still, first and foremost, siblings. especially with only 4 years between them. the show shameless i think did an absolutely excellent job with this and is why i love the first few seasons of it so much. fiona is without a doubt parentified, she is raising those kids, but she's also clearly their sister not their mother
i know later seasons dean and fandom like to make it seem like dean literally raised sam and john was just a background figure but like. that's not realistic, and frankly doesn't even make sense
the reason dean leaves sonny and goes with john isn't because he feels like he has to keep him sam safe. it's isn't because he feels like he has to raise him. it's because he loves him
you are reducing dean to the most pathetic woe is me archetype with this interpretation and ridding him of all his rich loyalty and care and love to saddle him instead with comparatively flat duty. dean is more than sam's caretaker. he's his brother
there's also no reason for dean to feel this way. he just massively fucked up in taking care of sam - that's why he's with sonny in the first place. john has alternate people to take care of sam when he can't do it himself, as he has just proven, and while i don't think we should turn a couple teenage mistakes into making dean incapable, dean absolutely would - and did! he carries every fuck up regarding sam with him! so right now he's really, really low when it comes to his own estimation to take care of sam and leaving sonny because of that doesn't make any sense
but he looks at his brother and is reminded how much he missed him and loves him and realizes staying means he loses his brother. the good and the bad. so he goes, because he loves sam more than anything else
this is also why sam leaving for stanford cuts him so deep. that's why this moment is a parallel to that rather than being unrelated. stanford isn't about sam leaving dean even though he has a duty to care of him, because he doesn't. dean's 22 and at this point is always hunting with their father so there's no reason for sam to believe his presence is necessary for either john or dean's safety
no, dean's mad because he chose his love for his brother over a normal life and sam didn't
(sam didn't want to choose at all but this isn't about him)
anyway. dean fucks up sometimes and john sucks but not quite in the ways fandom thinks and dean loves his brother past reason or sense
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thetriumphantpanda · 6 months
Text
Baby Love | Joel Miller
A Trial & Error One Shot
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Summary | It's coming to the end of lambing season, but there's one sheep left to give birth. Noticing she's struggling, you spend the night trying to soothe her, reflecting on your own experiences in her position.
Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader
Word Count | 2.7k
Warnings | Joel & Pretty Girl are still as horny as ever for each other so this is explicit. Mentions of ranching, sheep and animals giving birth. Mentions of human childbirth and pregnancy (I have never had my own children so please go easy on me), also mentions of how dirty it is when a sheep gives birth (blood/guts ect). Explicit smut including oral sex (f receiving), unprotected PiV smut IN THE BARN, creampie, Joel being a menace, PRETTY GIRL ALSO BEING A MENACE. No use of Y/N, no-outbreak AU.
Authors Note | It has been such a joy to write Pretty Girl again, I've missed her something terrible, and I'm so happy that the dynamic between her and Joel is still going strong, even if I have abandoned them for a while. I really hope you enjoy this as much as I have enjoyed writing it, and if there are any aspects of this families lives that you'd like to see, feel free to request it in my ask box!
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi
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Lambing season is coming to an end - something you’re eternally grateful for. It’s been a busy few weeks - early mornings and late nights for both Joel and Tommy, leaving you with the twins, Joshua and Ellie to keep entertained. Not that you���d have it any other way - your dysfunctional little family makes you happy every day.
With Joshua at school and the twins with Joel as he took Ellie into town for an appointment, you’re out in the fields with Tommy, making sure the remaining sheep yet to give birth are doing alright. You don’t profess to being an expert, but you’d like to think that your motherly instincts can go beyond humans, knowing when certain sheep are due and when some of them are starting to struggle.
It’s been an easy lambing season this year - most of the girls are seasoned professionals by now, needing only a light touch and a refill of their water more than anything, but there’s one sheep you are worried about. She was from lambing season a few years ago and this will be her first time. When you head into the barn, she’s stood in the corner of one of the pens, moving very little but bleating every once in a while. You know it’ll happen soon, but you’re worried about her.
“Don’t worry your head, sugar,” Tommy soothes, running a hand down the back of your head when it’s time to leave, “It’s nature, she’ll know what to do.”
But, led in bed that night, there’s something that you can’t push from the back of your mind. This worry that takes over you. She’ll be on her own in there, being one of the very last to give birth, and what if she’s scared? What if something goes wrong? You remember how scared you’d been when it came to having Joshua.
So you sigh, push back the sheets, and get dressed. You leave Tommy a note in case he wakes in the night and worries about where you are. You can’t say the horses in the small stable next to the house are enthused about having a torched shined at them in the middle of the night, but thankfully yours doesn’t put up much fuss when you saddle it and make the journey through the dark fields to the barn.
Flicking on the lights, you’re immediately glad you came. The sheep in question is led on her side, breathing laboured and fast. As you walk towards her, she kicks her legs a little and lets out a pained bleat.
“I know baby,” You coo, making sure the gate is shut behind you, “Hurts, doesn’t it?”
You fall to your knees in the soft hay a little way from her, hoping not to spook her, but she doesn’t seem all that bothered by your presence. She’s led down near the wall, so you crawl over a little and lean your back against it, stretching your legs out, just to be near her if she needs you.
The sheep lets out another pained bleat but she moves a little, up from her side and onto her feet. She walks closer to you, leaning down to prod your hand with her nose. You let out a little chuckle, letting your hand run down her head. The ranch dog likes when you scratch behind his ears, so you do the same here, which has her settling back down onto her side with her head on your thigh.
“It’s one of the most wonderful things,” You speak to her softly, continuing to pet at her head, “Having babies, but they always forget to mention how much it fucking hurts.”
She lets out another soft bleat, moving her body a little to get comfortable, or as comfortable as is possible when you’re in labour.
Watching her, you can’t help but let your mind wander back to your experience in her position. The first twinges of pain, low in your back that turned into pain everywhere. There wasn't a single position that was comfortable, no way to sit or lie or stand that could take the pain away. Then there was the exhaustion - after hours of waiting and more time pushing and pushing, there were moments when you didn’t think you could do it anymore, that you’d just close your eyes, drift off and wake up with a lovely, healthy baby perched in your arms.
But then, there’s that moment of relief, when the midwife had told you it’s okay honey, one more push and it’ll be done and it was and you could hear him crying and then he was on your chest and you were crying and so was Tommy. No-one ever mentions that bit either - how within seconds you could look down at a baby, your baby, and be completely and utterly in love with him. That’s what made it all worth it. That’s what made you want to do it again. It’s what makes you think you’d do it for the rest of your life if you could, just to have that one moment where that baby is in your arms for the first time.
“It’s worth it though,” You speak down to the sheep, “All this pain will be worth it in the end when we’ve got your beautiful little lamb with us.”
And it is. It’s all a bit dramatic in the end. The lamb gets stuck and you need to offer a helping hand to get it out, but almost immediately the mother sheep is doing exactly what she should, cleaning it off as you do the thing you’ve seen Joel do to help clear it’s airways, sticking a little bit of hay up one of it’s nostrils.
“Look mama,” You coo at the older sheep, a hand on her head as she works to get her little lamb clean, “Look what you did, you clever girl.”
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Joel doesn’t know what he was expecting when he walked into the barn that morning, but it certainly wasn’t to see you on your knees in the hay, rubbing a newborn lamb with straw. He can see from this angle that your clothes are filthy, covered in blood and God knows what else. Did you…? Have you….?
“Pretty girl,” He speaks softly, not sure you know he’s there, “What are you doing?”
You turn to him and it’s clear to see you’ve done exactly what he thinks you have and helped this sheep give birth, the gunk all over your clothes is also wiped across your cheek and forehead.
“She-” You trail off, “The sheep, she was struggling and I didn’t want her to be on her own.”
He opens the gate to the pen, walking in to fall beside you on his knees, “Have you been here all night?” He asks, letting his hands give the small lamb the once over.
“Pretty much,” You nod, “We had a lovely talk, didn’t we?” You ask to the mother sheep who is standing a few steps away, carefully observing Joel as he looks at her lamb.
“Did she do okay?”
“I had to get in there at the end,” You explain to him, “I think it was stuck, so I just gave her a little helping hand.”
Once he’s satisfied that the lamb is okay he shuffles back a little, watching as you do the same, letting the mother sheep have some time with her baby, “You did a good job,” He praises, letting his hand run down the back of you head, “Proud of you, pretty girl.”
He helps you to you feet, bends a little to brush as much stray hay from your jeans as he can before he steps back and really takes you in. It’s unconventional, but there’s something about the fact that you’ve got your hands dirty, spent your night here on your own to help one of his sheep, and the fact that you’re covered in dirt and hay, something about it all makes his jeans go a little tighter, something that he’s not quick enough to hide.
“Are you hard, cowboy?” He hears you tease before you’re stepping forward, “Does the sight of me covered in blood and guts turn you on?”
He rolls his eyes and turns his back on you, leaving the pen now he’s satisfied the sheep will be okay, but he can hear your feet following him and then your hand on his arm to get him to stop.
“You’ve not gone all shy on me, have you?” You speak softly, gently moving him so he turns a little.
“Have I ever been shy, pretty girl?”
“Then tell me,” You shrug, smirk plastered across your face, “Does this,” He watches as you drag a hand over the mess that is your clothes, “Turn you on?”
“You wanna know the truth?” He asks, voice low, “I wanna bend you over and get you to shut the hell up.”
Joel can’t help but let his own smirk show when your eyebrows raise, but it’s a fleeting later in your guise, because you’re turning around, showing him your back as you walk towards the stacked bales of hay in the corner. He can hear the clinking of your belt buckle and the telltale sound of you unzipping your jeans.
He’s stuck to the ground as he watches you pull down your jeans and your underwear, baring your backside to him. You pull them all the way down, letting them pool at your ankles as you spread your legs a little wider, bending yourself over the hay in the exact position he had in his head.
“Come on then cowboy,” You say, head turned over your shoulder to speak to him, “Come and shut me the hell up.”
It’s been an automatic response of his for years now, that when you present yourself to him, in any way, he falls to his knees like someone praying to an altar, and today is no different. He’s on his knees behind you, at just the right height to grip his palms to your ass, spread you open wide for him.
He wastes no time, he rarely does anymore, letting his mouth close over the hole of your pussy, somehow already weeping for him. He lets his tongue dip inside, lapping at your slick. It’s been years and he still doesn’t think he’ll get over how good you taste, how it lingers on his tongue for hours whilst he goes about his day.
Whilst he’s lapping up your slick, he lets one of his hands reach around, thumb searching out your clit, little circles rubbed across the little bud. He listens, feeling his cock throb in his jeans when you let out a gasp and a little moan.
“Not so talkative now, are we, pretty girl?” He mumbles, barely pulling off your pussy to speak, before he’s switching his hand and his mouth, leaning just enough so his tongue can flick against your clit, one of his fingers slipping inside you easily.
He chuckles against you when you moan at the curling of his fingers inside you - he loves when he can reduce you to a whimpering mess in seconds. It doesn’t take him long to feel the telltale signs that he’s going to make you come either. He can feel you start to fluttering around the two fingers he now has buried inside you, can feel the way you try and tighten your thighs around his face, so he carries on exactly how he is - suckling at your clit and moving his fingers in and out of your cunt until you’re coming for him, a high-pitched moan of his name from your mouth.
Joel doesn’t wait, he can’t wait. He stands, making quick work of pushing his own jeans and underwear from his body, finally freeing his aching cock from the tight confines of his trousers. He spits obscenely into his palm, running a tight fist up and down his length a few times before he’s dipping his knees, rubbing the head of his cock against the slick hole of your cunt, listening as he pushes himself inside you, giving you every inch of him as slowly as he possibly can, until he’s sheathed inside your tight heat.
He leans forward, covering your body with his own, his forehead pressed against your shoulder as he gets used to the feeling of you clenching and fluttering around him. He can feel you wiggling a little under him, trying to get him to move, so he brings one of his hands to the nape of your neck, squeezing a little, stopping your movements altogether.
“Keep still,” He warns, “You need to keep still a minute, baby.”
There’s never going to be a time where he doesn’t need to do this. The soft, wet heat of your cunt and those first movements inside you that make him feel like he’s eighteen again, ready to come with a few thrusts.
He gives himself another minute before he starts pulling his cock out of you, slowly dragging through your slick until just the tip is left inside you, then he’s slamming himself back into you, setting a bruising pace.
The sound is obscene - there’s the wet squelch he can hear whenever he pushes his cock back into you, the slapping of his skin against yours and the way you both sound when you’re moaning each others names. He’s not going to last long, he knows it. All of this combined with the fact that anyone could wander in and see you has a thrill settling across his spine.
Joel leans forward again, letting his teeth bite down gently on the skin of your neck. He can feel the way your cunt is clenching, if he can just hold on, just a little longer, he can get another one from you, he knows it.
“Tell me,” He chokes out into your ear, “Tell me how to get you there.”
You let out a loud moan, turning your face to his, kissing him, all teeth and tongue and clumsy, “Bite me again.”
So he does, he lets his teeth sink into the delicate skin of your neck, sucking gently, sure to leave a mark, his hand slinking underneath your belly and down to your pussy, soaked bud of nerves exposed just right for him to use his fingers to swirl across it a few times.
“Oh my God-” He can hear you moaning, “Joel, fuck, please, don’t stop, just like that.”
Within seconds, he can feel you coming on his cock - cunt pulled tight, sucking him in. He feels the gush of slick from your pussy too, cock angled just right to have you squirting for him, something he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of. It’s the tightening of your walls around him that sets his own orgasm off - that flush of pleasure across his body that blooms even more as he empties himself inside you. He can feel everything, the way your pussy clenches every time he gives you more, sucking his spend in as deep as possible.
He pushes himself up off you a little, hands on your hips, frantically sucking in air. He groans a little as he pulls himself from your cunt, standing back to admire how his cum drips from you. He doesn’t linger long, bending down to pull your clothes back up, gentle kiss pressed to the swell of your bottom as he does. He lets you zip yourself up whilst he puts himself right.
“Well, that was a great start to the morning.” You muse, pressing up on your tiptoes, gripping at his flannel shirt.
He’s about to speak when there’s a bleating from the sheep in the pen behind you, you both laugh, “Someone else agrees.”
He dips down, kisses your mouth slowly, gently, “Go and get clean,” He speaks against your lips, turning you around and giving you a tap on your ass as he does, “You’re filthy.”
“Still turns you on though.”
“Go on, get outta here.”
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javier-pena · 9 months
Text
embers
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Pairing: Arthur Morgan x f!reader
Word Count: 9.5k
Rating: Explicit
Summary: You're engaged to be married to a man you've never met. Arthur Morgan is supposed to escort you across the country to meet him. You should keep your distance, but the dangers of the road bring you closer and closer together with each passing mile.
Warnings: smoking | drinking | canon-typical violence | allusions to rape | reader is a virgin | loss of virginity | descriptions of injury and medical procedures (Arthur gets stitches) | reader has hair that can be pulled | hand job | oral (m receiving) | masturbation (f and m) | mutual masturbation | dirty talk | voyeurism | exhibitionism | praise kink | fingering | (unprotected) p in v sex
Notes: So there's this post ... and It has been on my mind for months so I had to write this exact scenario with Arthur, naturally. Again, this is way longer than it was supposed to be, but working on this fic allowed me to daydream a lot, so I can't complain. As always, I wouldn't have been able to do it without Dani @alexturner, who pushed me in the right direction and came up with the ending (because I'm not good at writing those)!!
***
You’re not pretty. At least that’s what everyone told you from the moment you could understand those words. Your mother, the maid she hired to look after you, the boys working for your father, the marm, the people in town. Since you were little, you’ve been hearing it over and over again. “It’s such a shame she ain’t pretty, what’s she gonna do with brains?”
The thing is, you also don’t feel very smart. If you were, you’d have found a way to leave your godforsaken town for one of the big cities in the east as soon as you could read the timetable down by the train station. You would’ve found a way to get out of this marriage your father arranged for you. Ambrose Longabaugh was his name. Ambrose Longabaugh. From what you have heard, he shares your lot: anything but handsome, but at least he has money.
No one was sad to see you go, save for your little brother, who held you tight and made you promise to come back if you didn’t like your betrothed. You had promised, knowing you were lying. It didn’t matter if you liked him or not, he was the man you were going to marry. You weren’t getting out of this. Your father had made sure of that.
Mr. Morgan is riding ahead of you, sitting in the saddle with his shoulders slumped, a cigarette dangling between his lips. You can smell the smoke on the crisp fall air, even though you’re trying to keep your distance. It’s not that he scares you – not as much as other men do, not as much as your future husband does – but you don’t like him very much. Your father is paying him to take you out west where Ambrose Longabaugh will one day take over his father’s cattle business. And Mr. Morgan is doing it without complaint, hardly acknowledging your presence. He talks more to his horse than he talks to you.
You let your eyes wander across the mountains around you and sigh. The first time you had seen them, your mouth had hung open in awe. Now you feel trapped by them. You can’t go back, and there’s only one way forward. You sigh again. No, you’re neither pretty nor smart.
“Break?” Mr. Morgan asks from up front. It’s only the fifth word he has said to you today; the others were good morning and let’s go.
“Yes,” you agree, not because you need it but because it gives you something else to do.
You stop near a small river with a shallow bank where Mr. Morgan can refill your waterskins. While he’s busy, you stretch your legs and pick up a few rocks from the riverbed to toss them into the water. The rushing of the water fills your ears, drowning out both thoughts and sounds. You take a deep, calming breath and close your eyes.
When you open them again, Mr. Morgan has taken off his lambskin coat and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. He’s washing his face and neck in the cold water of the river, a wet stain forming on his collar, drops running down his lean, muscular forearms that are still tan from working outdoors all summer. Your face heats up with an emotion you don’t quite understand, and you turn away from him, pretending to be interested in some moss-covered rocks. You’re not supposed to look.
He startles you when he touches your arm lightly, making you turn around. You hadn’t heard him coming over the sounds of the river. His coat is back on, but you can see his neck glistening in a few places still.
“You shouldn’t wander, ma’am,” he says. That’s four more words for today.
You look around. “Indians, right?” you ask with a small laugh.
His face remains serious. “No. White men. Gangs. They like to hide out here.”
You watch his Adam’s apple move as he swallows and your throat immediately mimics his. “Then why are we taking this road if it’s so dangerous?”
He shrugs. You realize he hasn’t let go of your arm yet. “It’s fast.”
“My father –”
“Your father planned this route.”
You swallow again. “I’ll be careful, sir. Thank you.” He lets go of your arm then, and you walk back to your horse, your face now heating up with an emotion you definitely recognize: embarrassment.
You make camp later that day where the trees are standing close together. While he builds a fire, you pick at a pine cone you found on the ground. Somewhere in the distance you hear a howl, but you’ve learned that if it’s not loud enough to make Mr. Morgan look up from his task, then it’s nothing to be worried about. And he stokes the fire, eyes fixed to the flames.
After dinner, he hands you a small bottle and when the sharp taste of whiskey makes you cough, he smirks. So you take another sip, holding his gaze. He looks away first, pulls a torn-up pack of cigarettes from his coat, and offers you one. You accept, surprised.
“Don’t let my father find out you’re corrupting me,” you tease.
He only makes, “Hm,” in response.
The smoke from the cigarette burns your throat, just like the whiskey, but this time you manage to suppress the cough. “Do you have family, Mr. Morgan?” you ask, watching how he uses a branch to stoke the fire.
“No,” is his simple reply.
Now it’s your turn to make, “Hm,” before you add, “No one you’re sweet on?”
You don’t really care about the answer, why would you? But when he gives you another, “No,” a careful one, it makes your heart pound faster. Until he turns the tables.
“What about you?”
“Oh,” you say, “I don’t know, I haven’t met my fiancé yet.” And you don’t want to be thinking about him right now.
Mr. Morgan looks at you, his head cocked to one side. “Come now,” he pushes, as if you’re being evasive on purpose. “That ain’t what I’m askin’.”
You sigh. “It’s not? I’m spoken for. I have no business thinking about other men.” You don’t mean to be so frank, but the words are out of your mouth before you can stop them. And you can tell from the look on Mr. Morgan’s face that he still thinks you’re not honest with him.
“Hm,” he makes, and you dread what might be coming next.
“I’m going to bed,” you tell him, putting an end to your conversation. He opens his mouth to add something, but you don’t give him a change. You lie down and pull your thin blanket over your body, face hot with embarrassment. The last thing you see before falling asleep is Mr. Morgan staring at the flames, a quiet smile on his lips.
Later that night, you wake up to shouts. What pulls you from your sleep entirely is a gunshot that reverberates through the forest. “Mr. Morgan?” you shout, because he isn’t sitting next to the fire anymore and you can’t see him anywhere. Then you hear a sound that makes your blood run cold, a snarl, a growl, but animalistic, wild, unlike anything you’ve ever heard. You jump up from your bedroll, ready to run, but then you remember Mr. Morgan’s warning. It’s better to stay here, in the light of the dwindling fire, than to take your chances out there. “Mr. Morgan?” you try again, this time a hiss, as you frantically search the darkness beyond your camp. It gets so dark out here at night.
A shout is your answer, a deep, “Hey!” Short and fast. The horses whinny, and you’re only now realizing they’re stomping the ground, tearing up the soil with their hooves, the whites in their eyes visible, ears pressed tightly back. You try to swallow your panic, but it gets harder with every passing second.
Then something moves between the trees and Mr. Morgan stumbles back into the camp, a gun in one hand, a torch in the other. He has a wild look in his eyes too, just like the horses, but when they land on you, he relaxes, his face assuming its usual, stoic mask. “Mountain lion,” he says. “It’s gone.”
“What does that mean?” you ask, your voice trembling.
“Chased it off,” he explains. “It ain’t coming back here.”
“The horses …,” you start.
But he walks toward the fire, toward you. “You did good,” he says, dropping to his knees next to you, so close, too close. You can smell the gunpower on him, and the sweat; you’ve never been so close to a man before, not even your own father. “Here.” He hands you the whiskey again. “It’s gone, I promise.”
You wish your hands wouldn’t shake so much. He grabs yours with one to steady, his warm skin like fire against yours, unscrews the stopper with the other, not with impatience but oh so gently. You manage to take a sip on your own, but he watches you intently for any signs of distress.
“You’ll have to get used to it,” he says, stowing away the bottle. “This land out here … it’s wild.”
You nod. Now that the initial burst of panic is dulled, you feel tears sting your eyes.
“But you’ll manage.” His voice is so calming. “You’re a brave girl.”
*******
The hooves of your horse pound out a slow, steady beat against the hard ground. You’re tired, every muscle in your body is sore, but you push on without complaint, following Mr. Morgan up a winding mountain and back down on the other side. The days are so similar they’re bleeding into one – the mountain lion … did it attack three nights ago? Five? You don’t remember. All you know is that your heart picks up speed when he looks at you, that every evening your conversation around the fire becomes a little bit longer, that you wish you could go on like this forever, never to arrive at your destination.
Sometimes at night, when you can’t sleep but you pretend to, you can hear him sing, sometimes to himself, sometimes to the horses. Your heart almost flies out of your chest when he does it. He hasn’t touched you anymore since the night of the mountain lion attack, but you wish he would. Even though everything else about him confuses you, you wish you could feel his skin against yours again; such longing, it almost consumes you.
Is this what it’s supposed to feel like? Did your cousin feel like this when she ran off with that cowboy? Did your mother and father feel like this; is that why they got married? Are you supposed to feel like this when you meet your fiancé? Or is this something else entirely? Is there something wrong with you?
“Break?” he asks once the ground is beginning to even out.
“You know, you keep asking for breaks so much I’m starting to think you don’t want us to reach our destination,” you tease.
He just shrugs and stops his horse. You halt too and climb off, your legs steady when they hit the ground. It wasn’t like that in the beginning; the first few days he had to help you off your horse and you could barely stand. It’s astonishing what a difference a few weeks can make.
You stretch, then begin to walk up and down the path. It’s cold, sitting so still up on that horse, and you flex your fingers, trying to get some feeling back into them. Mr. Morgan, meanwhile, sits down on a tree stump to write in a leather-bound notebook. You’ve seen him use it before but you don’t quite know what it’s for. He’s probably tracking your progress or taking notes on the weather.
Careful to keep him in sight, you veer off into the underbrush, looking at the trees and the different kinds of plants growing on the ground. You pretend you can read the language of the forest, looking for tracks of animals or some mushrooms you might be able to eat. Just like you’ve seen Mr. Morgan do countless of times. When you do find something, you’re not sure what to make of it.
“Mr. Morgan?” Your voice is raised as you try to keep it steady.
You hear his footsteps immediately but you don’t dare to turn around, your eyes fixed on the sight before you. He stops next to you, and you can hear his steady breathing. The knot in your chest immediately dissolves.
“Hm,” he makes.
“What happened here?” you ask. Now the tremor in your voice is all too audible.
He hesitates just for a second, weighing his options, but then he says, “Some people were camping here, a family by the looks of it.”
“Where are they?” you ask, finally turning toward him. The cold, calculating look on his face sends a shiver down your spine.
“Ma’am …,” he says slowly.
“You can tell me. I can handle the truth.”
You look back at the burned-out wagon, the torn clothes hanging from tree branches, all that blood on a log next to a cold fire pit. You don’t need him to tell you. You just want him not to confirm your suspicions.
“They’re dead,” he answers. “Killed. For money.”
“All of them?” you ask.
He winces. “If there were women …”
“Can’t we help them?” You know you can’t, but you wish there was something you could do.
“Stay on the path next time,” he growls. “No more wanderin’ ‘round … ma’am.”
“Mr. Morgan …,” you try, but he’s already trudging back toward the horses.
You spend the rest of the day in silence, riding next to each other but avoiding each other’s gazes. You shouldn’t have called out to him; it was obvious what had happened in that camp. They were a group, and you’re just two people … your father couldn’t have known about the dangers of this journey, or he wouldn’t have made you go. He would’ve found another way. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself. Because you don’t want to even consider the other option and what it would mean. When the sun slowly disappears behind the mountains around you, dread settles onto your heart, the heavy kind you haven’t felt since you were a little girl, afraid of the dark.
Finally, Mr. Morgan stops his horse. “We camp here tonight. No fire.”
“It’s so dark,” you whisper.
“The darkness ain’t what’ll kill you,” he growls.
You can’t sleep; of course not. So you watch him all night, sitting up straight next to you, not so close that you could touch him, but close enough so you’ll always see he’s there. He doesn’t sleep either but he sits very still, keeping his eyes on the path, making sure nothing evil comes out of the dark. And you wish all you had to worry about were mountain lions.
*******
Two days later, Mr. Morgan’s face is pale and you’re frozen through. You haven’t had a warm meal since you found that destroyed camp, and Mr. Morgan has barely slept. You haven’t talked at all, apart from the necessities. And still you haven’t left those mountains and woods behind you. At least the daylight makes you feel less afraid.
“Is it far still?” you ask when the silence becomes unbearable.
“A week,” he answers, looking up at the sky, “if it doesn’t snow.”
The weather is the least of your worries. “And how long before we’re past the mountains?” You hate them now as much as they awed you at first.
“Three days maybe.”
Three more days without warm food. You straighten your back. “Have you come this way before?”
“Yes.”
“Has anything ever happened to you?” You don’t know if you’d prefer confirmation or denial.
“You’re safe with me, so don’t you worry about that.” There’s something in the way he says it that makes your grip tighten on the reins.
“I’m not worried,” you lie. “Just curious.”
“Hm,” he makes before going back to observing the surroundings with caution. “Bad people are everywhere. Not just here.”
“That’s a grim way to look at the world.” You try for a teasing tone, but it sounds like you’re reprimanding him instead.
“You ain’t seen much of it then,” he replies.
“More than you know.”
He looks at you curiously, just for a moment. “You –” he starts, but a shout ahead on the path interrupts him.
“Hey!”
You almost jump out of your skin and stop your horse reflexively. That’s your first mistake. The second one is to shout, “Arthur!” Because it costs him valuable seconds, that distraction. He turns around to look at you, and then suddenly two men are on him, pulling him out of the saddle. Two more appear next to you, a young, handsome one with a dark mustache and darker eyes, and a man your father’s age, but scrawny, with a mouth full of yellow teeth that he exposes to you in an ugly grin. You pull on the reins and your horse dances nervously, ears pressed tightly against its head. And then you hear a shot.
A fifth man stands in the middle of the path, a smoking gun held high over his head. His thick, gray beard quivers as he shouts, “Everybody stay calm and no one is gonna get hurt!”
You look at Mr. Morgan for guidance and see him struggle against the two men who are restraining him by holding his arms tightly pressed against his back. His pants are dirty from where he hit the ground when they pulled him off his horse.
“Get her down from there,” the man with the gray beard barks, and before you can do anything, thin but strong fingers have closed around your arm and you tumble out of the saddle with a shout.
The man who is holding you stinks of rotting things and nicotine. He twists one of your arms until it is pressed flush against your back and uses his other hand to hold your chin, so you’re forced to look straight ahead at the man with the mustache.
“Pretty little thing, ain’t she?” he snarls, and the other man licks his lips.
“We just want your valuables,” Graybeard says to Mr. Morgan.
“We ain’t got any,” he growls.
“I’m sure you don’t,” is the calm answer as Graybeard starts going through the saddlebags of Mr. Morgan’s horse.
You roll your shoulders but the man with the rotting teeth only tightens his hold on you. His companion takes a few careful steps toward you. A lump is forming in your throat as you begin to realize just how dangerous this situation is. You try to kick back, like a horse, but you miss your captor. It only earns you a cruel laugh and a pinch to your cheek.
Somewhere to your right, you hear a dull thud and a pained groan coming from Mr. Morgan. You try to look at him, but you can’t move, not because you’re being restrained but because fear has taken over your body and you can’t do anything but relinquish control.
“Check her horse,” Graybeard orders, but the man with the mustache doesn’t move. He’s only a few steps away from you now, his eyes hungrily roaming over your body. “Now!” Graybeard barks.
“There isn’t -,” you start, but the man who is restraining you clamps a hand over your mouth. You could vomit when you taste his skin.
“There’s this,” the man with the mustache says, holding up a cheap necklace your mother gave you as a parting gift.
“Take it,” Graybeard orders.
“What about her?” the rotting man asks and shakes you.
“Her too,” Graybeard answers with a nod. “Shoot the man.”
“No!” you shout, even though it makes the disgusting man get more of his fingers in between your lips.
The man with the mustache stuffs your mother’s necklace into the pocket of his jacket, then walks over to you. You can hear the blood rushing in your ears as he grips your skirt and begins to pull it upward so your boots and then your drawers are slowly exposed. A hot tear rolls down your cheek but it only makes him smile.
“I bet you’re lovely.” His voice is deep, almost as deep as Mr. Morgan’s, but hearing him speak only fills you with revulsion. “I bet you’re all tight …” He lightly strokes your cheek, then uses his free hand to unbutton his trousers.
“No!” you shout again, but it’s muffled, and your feeble attempts to free yourself are met with an evil snicker.
Then you hear a shot and all the life goes out of your body. It’s done. You’re alone now. And if you’re lucky, you’ll soon be dead too. Two more shots ring through the forest, each one as painful as if you’ve been hit by the bullets yourself. The man with the mustache doesn’t even flinch. His trousers hang open now, and you can see dark hairs peek out from between the fabric, before he cups one of your breasts hard and licks a broad stripe up your neck.
The other man moans, low, wetly, and it’s the most disgusting sound you’ve ever heard. He lets go of you, but it’s too late; you can’t run anymore. A wet, dull sound is followed by another moan, and you know exactly what he’s doing. You’ve heard people talk about it, even though you don’t quite know what it means when a man touches himself. All you know is that you feel bile rise at the thought of it.
The man with the mustache freezes and looks behind you, his eyes wide with shock. Maybe they have a different bargain, maybe he wants to keep you for himself and feels threatened. But then, so fast he’s only a blur, Mr. Morgan rushes past you, grabs the man by his collar, and pulls him off you, landing a punch against his jaw. You blink a few times as both men go down, not sure if what you’re seeing is real or if it’s a vision your panicked brain conjured up to calm you. The man with the mustache lands a kick between Mr. Morgan’s legs, gaining the upper hand. He pulls a knife from his boot while he straddles your companion to pin him down, but Mr. Morgan doesn’t hesitate. He grabs the man’s arm and bites down until he lets go of the knife. You catch a glimpse of Mr. Morgan’s eyes and where you expected him to be all feral rage, he’s cold and calculating. It sends a shiver down your spine and you stumble back a few paces until you step into something soft that squelches on impact. You don’t have to look down to know what it is.
Despite the loss of his knife, the man with the mustache is putting up a good fight. He lands a blow in Mr. Morgan’s face, then scrambles off him, grabs the knife, and pushes himself upward. Mr. Morgan moves faster than you’ve ever seen him move, jumping up while dodging the glinting blade of the knife.
“Stay down, big boy,” the man sneers.
Mr. Morgan shoves into him with such force the knife ends up in the dirt again, right next to the two men. But this time, Mr. Morgan has the upper hand, landing blow after blow in the face of the other, grunting with grim satisfaction when he draws blood, continuing even when the man retches up blood and spits it in Mr. Morgan’s face. He doesn’t stop until the man doesn’t move anymore and his face is nothing more than a bloody pulp, entirely unrecognizable. Only then does he grunt in pain and rolls off his opponent, lying on the forest floor, breathing labored and hard.
*******
You make camp that night as far away from that spot as you could travel before the light faded. Mr. Morgan gets a fire going while you sit on a log, trying to hide your trembling hands in your lap. You haven’t cried yet but you know it’s coming. He hasn’t said anything yet, and you’re not sure he will.
In the flickering light of the fire, you can see the cuts and bruises in his face, the sleeve of his shirt drenched in blood. And when you close your eyes, you can see the five dead men, their broken bodies left in the dirt for scavengers to feed on. He did that, all on his own.
You force yourself to stand up and walk over to him. He’s not the man who calmed you down after a mountain lion attack anymore; you’ve seen him beat a man to death today with his bare hands. No, he’s someone new now, someone you have to get to know first. And when you crouch down next to him, he looks at you with dark eyes like he’s never looked at you before and you feel all the air being pressed out of you.
“Let me take a look at your arm,” you say, pulling it toward you by his hand. The dried blood on his knuckles is rough against your skin.
He doesn’t protest, just watches as you carefully roll up his sleeve to expose a deep cut, undoubtedly left by the knife. It must have happened so fast you missed it. Even though it’s not bleeding as much as it used to, each pump of Mr. Morgan’ heart pushes some more blood out through the cut.
“You need stitches,” you tell him.
Before you can second-guess what you’re doing or change your mind, you’re next to your saddlebag, looking for the sewing kit your bother gave you. Only you’ve never used it for something like this before. You don’t even know if it’ll work, only ever having read about it in books, but it’s better than doing nothing. You also grab the bottle of whiskey from Mr. Morgan’s bag.
“Drink this,” you order, handing it to him once you’re next to him again.
He takes one big swallow, then another one, his throat working to get the liquid down. You pretend not to notice. Then he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand while you stare at the cut with much more focus than necessary. Taking back the bottle, you pour some of its content on the cut, drawing a low groan from Mr. Morgan that heats up your cheeks.
Your hands are shaking as you try to thread the needle. “Have you ever done this before?” Mr. Morgan asks, his face stoic as if he’s ready to accept his fate no matter the answer you give him.
“Technically, no,” you answer, finally pushing the thread through the eye.
“Huh,” he grunts.
“But I’m very good at mending stockings.” You offer him a feeble smile and he nods. “This might hurt a little bit,” you warn before pushing the needle through his skin. Holding his arm in place with your other hand, you can feel his muscles flex at the intrusion, and a short burst of breath tickles the top of your head. He doesn’t complain.
“Have you ever been stitched up before?” you ask him to distract him.
“No,” he replies through gritted teeth.
“Oh, good. Then you have to believe me when I tell you I’m doing a very good job.” What’s wrong with you?
He grunts again, but maybe, possibly that sound could be hiding a laugh.
“Still, when we arrive at our destination, you should have a doctor look at this,” you instruct.
“Eager to hear from a professional how good of a job you did?”
Your cheeks ignite and you drop the needle. “Shit.” He is laughing now, a low chuckle, as you try to locate a glint in the flickering light from the campfire. Luckily, you don’t have to look far – the needle fell straight down and is lying between Mr. Morgan’s boots. You wipe strands of hair from your face, then wipe the needle clean on your dress before getting back to work.
“No,” you answer his question, forcing your voice to sound steady. “Because I have no idea how to prevent an infection. Or if I’m even doing this correctly.”
Mr. Morgan leans down, his big hand closing around the bottle you discarded earlier, and he unscrews the cap with his thumb and forefinger. “Looks to me like you’re doin’ fine.” A big swig, then another one.
You glance up at him just to see his face looking unusually pale. “Does it hurt a lot?” you ask carefully.
“I’ve had worse,” he answers, but flinches when one of your stitches comes too close to the wound.
You blink fast a couple of times, trying to shake the image of him on top of that man, punching and punching until no trace of life was left. The memory of the sheer brutality makes your hands feel clammy. No, this wasn’t his first time getting hurt, just like it wasn’t his first time killing someone. And now the same hands rest peacefully in his lap, cut and bruised, yes, but a far cry from the deadly weapons you saw today.
“Thank you for what you did today,” finishing up with two final stitches, then quickly add, “There,” and pet his arm before he can acknowledge your words of gratitude.
He lifts his hand from his leg and flexes his fingers. “Thanks for this,” he replies, examining the stitches.
Your gaze lands on his knuckles that are covered in blood, his own and that of the men he killed. “Do you want me to take a look at your hands?” you ask, your throat tight all of a sudden.
“I’m used to that.” He stretches out one of his legs so it rests next to you, close enough that you feel the ghost of a presence next to your hip.
“I’ve never met a man who was used to so much violence.” Your eyes are still on his hands, bruised darkly.
“It was either them or us.” He shrugs.
Us. “I was sure they had killed you when I heard that first gunshot,” you tell him, lowering your gaze to your own hands that have some dirt on them, some streaks of Mr. Morgan’s blood, but that look so clean compared to his.
“And break the contract with your father?”
You laugh. “A father who selected this route knowing full well about the dangers we would face?” The silence that follows your question is filled only by the crackle of the campfire and by the sounds of creatures moving through the woods. “I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you,” you finally say.
“This ain’t the first time I had to save someone,” he says with a dismissive wave of his hand.
“And how did those other people repay you?” you ask, eager for his answer. Being indebted to him puts you on edge.
“Money,” is his short reply.
“I don’t have any,” you say, feeling a tug at your heartstrings. But maybe that doesn’t matter; maybe when you arrive, you could talk to your fiancé. He’ll want to reward the man who defended your honor and saved you from a horrible fate. Still, you wish there was something you could be doing for him right now. “There’s also other ways,” you say, very slowly.
“Hm,” he makes, a sound that has started to fill you with a certain warmth for reasons you can’t quite explain. Then he shifts, moves his legs a little further apart. And you’re there right between them, looking up into his face that betrays nothing except for the smallest glint in his eyes.
You’ve never even kissed a man, but you’re not stupid. You know what certain gestures and movements mean. You’ve watched your father’s hands when a woman walked past them, you’ve attended dances where everyone around you was getting drunk … growing up on a farm, you’ve seen things. But you also know that those things are wrong and they should only be happening between husband and wife behind closed doors, no matter what everyone else is doing.
It's getting harder to breathe, and you feel a tug low in your stomach, almost like an ache. You’ve never felt anything like this before and you can’t quite place it, but the way he looks at you, mouth slightly opened, his eyes deep and dark, only fuels that sensation. And when you think back to this afternoon, it becomes so strong it makes you shift on your knees.
“You’re a pretty little thing.”
It’s the second time today someone has said that about you. Whereas the first time made your skin crawl, the second time makes your cheeks heat up and your breath get stuck in your throat. You notice that Mr. Morgan unbuckles his belt, eyes locked to yours, and you make sure your gaze stays on his face. It’s only when he groans and his eyelids flutter shut that you look down and see he has his hand wrapped around himself, moving it up and down his length with sure strokes. Something in you is released at that sight.
“Here, let me,” you offer, shuffling closer on your knees until you’re trapped between his legs.
Before you can think better of it, you wrap your fingers around the base of his cock. It’s warmer than you expected, feels heavier than you thought when you move your hand up in the same move you saw him use. He groans again, louder this time, and removes his hand, resting it on your arm. You tremble.
Back home, you were taught that what a wife does in the bedroom is fulfilling the duty to her husband. It sounded neither pleasant nor enjoyable, and so far, you’ve managed to push the thoughts of what is awaiting you at your destination from your mind. But your mother couldn’t have meant this, because this doesn’t feel like duty at all. You stroke the tip of his cock with your thumb, he tightens the grip on your arm in return, and you feel a surge of pride well up. No, your mother couldn’t have been talking about this.
Eager to try more, you twist your wrist on the downstroke, then lower your head and kiss the tip of his cock. He growls this time, and his hand lands on the back of your head, pushing you down. You have no choice but to open your mouth further and take him in. The weight of him presses down against your tongue, the tip of him brushing the back of your throat makes you gag as tears shoot to your eyes. He grips your hair, pulls you off, then pushes you back down again, and you got it. It’s not so different from the hand.
Steadying him at the base with a tight grip, you pull off him again, but let your tongue run along the underside, the sharp taste of him filling every corner of your mouth. It will take some getting used to, but you’re determined to get this right, and from the way his hand trembles at the back of your head, you have a feeling you might be.
You close your eyes, focusing on taking him as deeply inside as possible because he seems to enjoy that. Sometimes, when you think there isn’t any room left, he pushes you onto his cock that little bit further and then groans contently, a sound that tightens parts of your body you didn’t know could tighten. You run your tongue over the tip of him, hum around him when your mouth is full of him, just to find out what kind of sounds you can draw from him. If this is what it’s like, you can’t imagine why anyone would call this a duty.
Mr. Morgan stiffens and pushes his hips upward so you take even more of him into your mouth. This time you can’t help the gagging sound pushing past him. But instead of forcing you to take more, he grips a handful of your hair and pulls you off. Your mouth feels strangely empty for a moment, even though his taste lingers, and you blink in confusion. Was that it?
You lick your lips and look up at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something. But he’s quiet, only placing his forefinger under your chin to tilt your head back a little more. For some reason, that gesture leaves you breathless. And you know why a second later when his lips lock onto yours and your breaths mingle, and you suddenly understand why people would kill for this. Why he killed for you.
You can’t help the moan that comes out of your mouth, don’t even realize at first that the sound is coming from you. His hand glides to the back of your head to grip you and hold you in place, and you push yourself toward him, one hand on his arm, the other on his thigh. He licks into your mouth and you try to mirror him, feeling a strange sense of pride when he opens up for you.
He pulls away, holding you in place by the hair at the nape of your neck. “Did you like havin’ me in your mouth?” he asks and his voice is so low you barely recognize it.
“Yes, Mr. Morgan,” you answer, and you also almost don’t recognize your own.
“Oh, you’re somethin’,” he says with a wicked smile, then stands and pulls you with him.
Your legs are trembling and your knees threaten to give way when he kisses you again, pressing his entire body to yours. Just when you think you could spend eternity like this, he closes his arms around your backside and lifts you up, so you don’t have any chance but to sling your legs around his middle. You squeal against his lips, but he just carries you past the campfire toward your bedroll. Beneath your palms, you can feel the muscles in his shoulders and arms flex and tighten with each step. Something in your stomach flutters as you remember he's strong enough to beat a man to death.
Before you know what you’re doing, you’re kissing his jaw and neck, biting down on a tendon that’s jutting out with the effort of keeping you in his arms. When he rumbles deep in his chest, you flick out your tongue to lick across the spot in apology, but he drops you to your feet. You both stand there for a second, looking at each other with heaving chests. His hands come up to grip the neckline of your dress, and he pulls, a tearing sound echoing through the trees. Your torn dress crumbles to the ground around you, exposing your undergarments, and even though your first instinct is to cover up you don’t because he pulls his shirt over his head to expose his naked chest beneath, and that sight is enough to distract you from any embarrassment you might be feeling.
His pants are next, and then he stands before you stark naked. You try to touch his stomach with a trembling hand, but he grabs your wrist and pushes you down to the ground. With precise movements, he pulls off your drawers, taking your shoes with them, then tears open your corset to expose your breasts. Your breath hitches when he cups one in his calloused hand and squeezes, making pleasure spike through your body.
You kiss him again, lean into his touch, and then you discover you can make him tighten his hold on you by licking over his bottom lip. You can make him press his hard length against you by moaning in pleasure. It feels so, so good to have this effect on him, to be able to do that to him without words. Never, in a million years, would you have expected that giving yourself to a man would feel like this, would make heat blossom at the base of your spine, would make you ache between your legs. You shove your fingers into his hair, deepening the kiss, and he sighs against your lips, a sound that makes your knees weak. How can all of this make you feel so good yet fill you with a hunger you don’t know how to satiate?
You run your nails over his scalp, testing to see what other sounds you can elicit from him, when he suddenly shifts both your bodies, pushing you to the ground while caging you in with his body. Your heart hammers in your chest so hard it’s almost painful, but even when your back is uncomfortably pressed against your thin bedroll, you still crane your neck to keep kissing him. God, why can’t you get enough of him?
With a sharp slap against your knee that sends another spike of pleasure through your body, he pushes your legs apart, then draws back to look at you. His lips are red and swollen, and both shadow and light are dancing across his face in quick succession. You reach up to touch his cheek, but he catches your wrist and pins it down next to your head with so much strength it steals the breath from your lungs.
“You’re the prettiest little lady I’ve ever seen,” he mumbles.
You feel your face heat up, but he doesn’t notice how flustered you are. With his free hand, he grabs himself, then lines himself up between your legs. You watch, eyes wide, breathing so fast your head is starting to swim. What comes next is a pressure that is not painful but not quite pleasurable either. And the more it pushes, the more it hurts.
“Stop,” you say, your voice not more than a whisper.
Either he doesn’t hear you or he’s ignoring you, but he continues to push up into you, and now it’s so painful you’ve lost all sense of pleasure entirely.
“Stop,” you try again, bracing your hands against his shoulders, trying to push him off you. He’s too strong for you. “Arthur, stop!” you bellow.
And he hears you. He immediately withdraws, and you scramble to sit up, pulling away from him as best as possible on the small bedroll.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks, and the concern in his voice makes you look at him.
“Yes,” you answer, hugging your knees to your chest. You wish you weren’t so naked.
“Have you ever …?” He doesn’t need to finish the question for you to know what he means.
You shake your head.
A deep, red flush creeps up his chest and neck. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “I didn’t know. I wouldn’t –”
“It’s alright,” you interrupt him, his apology embarrassing rather than harming you. “You didn’t know.”
“The way you were kissin’ me …” He trails off again.
Your ears prick up at the compliment. “It all felt … good,” you stutter. “More than good. It’s just …”
“I can … we can slow down,” he offers. “If you still want …”
You look at him, kneeling before you, his skin glowing orange in the light from the fire. His dick is slowly softening between his legs, goosebumps are covering his arms, but he is showing you all of himself without shame. That bold display of his body makes your blood heat up again, but you hesitate. Touching his naked skin is one thing, giving yourself to him entirely is something you’ve been warned of your entire life. And yet … now that you’ve pushed through the initial shock, you slowly realize your body is demanding to feel him again.
You nod. “Yes. I still … I want you.”
Your cheeks are fever-hot, but the way his eyes light up is worth the embarrassment you feel. Arthur moves toward you, loosening the hold you have on yourself, and you relax, dropping your knees, letting him come even closer. He smirks, his eyes darting to your lips and then back up again before he leans in for a searing kiss, and it feels like the last few minutes didn’t happen at all. Without breaking the kiss, he reaches for your wrist, then slowly guides your hand between your own legs, while you tremble in anticipation. He doesn’t touch you, but when he presses your own fingers against all that heat and wetness, you moan deeply.
Arthur breaks the kiss first. “I want you to play with yourself,” he whispers, his breath hot against your ear.
“I don’t …,” you start, suddenly unsure.
“Yeah, I know.” He kisses your neck. “You’re gonna figure it out though.”
You take a deep breath and nod, and when he captures your lips for another kiss, you move your fingers over yourself in a motion that makes pleasure shoot through your entire body. A shaky pant escapes you and lands on his mouth, turning his lips into a smirk even while he’s kissing you.
“There you go,” he whispers.
You find a rhythm and pace that makes you feel like you’re about to explode but that doesn’t light the final fuse, and he continues to kiss you for a while before drawing back to watch the hand between your thighs. Any shame you could have felt is replaced by pure lust when you see the arousal in his eyes; you shift to open your legs further, and he raises his eyes in surprise. You shift under his searing gaze and moan when you notice his hand closing around the base of his cock.
You’ve never felt like you’re feeling right now, completely in control but also like you’re surrendering yourself to him. It’s so addictive it makes you wonder how people don’t want to feel like this all the time. “It feels so good,” you groan, struggling to get the words out because your teeth are clenched.
“You’re so pretty,” is Arthur’s answer as he moves his hand up and down his length.
You can’t help but believe him. “I love you strong you are,” you return the compliment, and before you can think better of it, you raise your free hand and cup your breast, squeezing your nipple.
His eyes lock onto your chest. “Fuck.” Pleasure shoots through you from the tip of your toes to the top of your head. “You’re such a good girl,” he adds, and it makes your heart flutter so painfully you feel like it’s about to fly out of your chest.
“Say that again,” you demand, not recognizing yourself at all.
Arthur shifts closer until he’s right between your legs, fisting himself eagerly. You can smell the sweat and arousal on him, a scent so overpowering you wish you could bury your nose in his skin and inhale it forever. “My pretty, brave girl,” he says, and when you lower your gaze, too overwhelmed by what his words make you feel, he grips your chin and lifts your head. “Oh no, you’re gonna look at me.” You blink once but don’t lower your head again. “Yeah, that’s it.” He smirks. “Look at you … so eager to please me. You should see yourself right now … goddamn prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.”
You do lower your gaze then because it feels like too much. Your eyes land on his cock, on the tip that’s glistening wetly, and you lick your lips, remembering the feeling of him in your mouth.
“You want me inside of you, don’t you?” Arthur asks, and you nod. His rough, calloused hand closes around your throat and you can’t help it – you move your own hand faster, a crescendo building in the pit of your stomach. “Use your words, pretty girl. I know you can.”
You swallow hard, knowing he can feel your throat move against his grip. “Yes, I want you inside of me.” Your face doesn’t heat up this time as you realize you’re not only saying that to please him. It’s exactly what you want.
He rewards you with a deep kiss, then mumbles against your lips. “Are you ready?”
You hesitate. “I’m not …”
But Arthur doesn’t let you finish. “Let’s find out together.” He leans back. “Finger yourself.” The way his eyes darken when he says it isn’t lost on you.
You shift and move your hand lower, his eyes fixed to your movements. He has stopped moving, his hand grabbing his cock, holding it between his legs. You feel yourself flutter against your fingers in anticipation at the same time as he licks his lips. And then you push the tip of your finger inside of you, past the initial resistance, deeper and deeper until you can’t go any further.
“Breathe,” he instructs and you exhale sharply. “Did that hurt?”
You shake your head before remembering he likes to hear your voice. “No.”
“How does it feel?” he wants to know.
Carefully, you pull your finger out until only the tip remains inside of you, then you push it back in. “Good,” you manage. “Really good.”
“You’re sweet when you can barely talk,” he says with a smirk and the muscles inside you clamp down on your finger. You moan and close your eyes, unable to keep them open. “You like that, don’t you?” You hear him shift closer. “You like hearing my voice. Bet you’d like me to talk you through it, too.”
Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you feel something building inside you. It’s like a wave that will drown everything out. You lean back further and further until your back connects to the ground, until you can raise your hips to meet your finger, trying to get it as deep inside you as possible.
Then his hand is covering yours and he pushes you to the ground, stilling you. When you open your eyes, you’re met with his, dark with lust, and you’re rewarded with the sight of his chest, flushed so deeply red it looks almost purple. His cock is leaking onto his fingers. “Not yet, sweet girl,” he says in a voice that sounds familiar to the one he uses to calm down his horse. “You’re doing so well, but wait until …”
Arthur removes his hand from yours, but then you feel the tip of his finger right where yours is disappearing inside yourself. You steel yourself for the pain you’re about to feel, but when his finger joins yours, stretching you open, all you feel is pleasure so intense it makes it hard for you to stay conscious.
“Fuck,” you groan, a short outburst, almost like a bark.
“You can say that again.” Arthur’s voice is so husky it’s almost impossible to understand. He cups your hand with his, and then moves the both of you in tandem, pulling back out and pushing back in. You tentatively meet his thrusts by rolling your hips and he growls. “Look at you, spread open just for me.”
You don’t know why his words make you feel like they do, but the muscles between your legs are working hard to keep both your fingers buried as deeply as possible. That earns you a smirk from him and you smile back in return.
“I think you’re ready.” He grips your hand tightly and pulls the both of you out, making you sob. To calm you, he cups your cheek and presses a soft kiss to your lips. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna fill you right back up again.” All you can do is nod.
He positions himself above you, stroking himself a few times, then lining himself up. It’s easier for you to relax this time because you know what to expect, but when he breaches that resisting wall of muscles, you still feel a burn and hiss.
“Shhhh,” he makes and kisses your forehead. “You’re doing so good.”
And then he’s inside of you, stretching you open as much as you can take. His eyes flutter shut and he groans, shifting to adjust himself. “You feel perfect.”
“You’re … you’re big,” you manage, drawing a chuckle from him.
He shifts again, then pulls back out before slamming back into you, making you see stars. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he apologizes immediately.
“No,” you press out through gritted teeth. “Do that again.”
He does, and you grip his arm, burying your nails in his muscle, slinging your other arm around his back. There’s a strange taste in your mouth and you only slowly realize it’s blood from biting down on your bottom lip. He kisses you, licks over the wound, pulls a sharp moan from you. And then he slams into you so hard you scream, clawing at his skin, leaving bloody streaks down his arm and back. The pain only seems to spur him on and when you pant, “Harder,” he doesn’t hesitate.
You clench around his cock in return and he whispers, “I like you like this.” You feel yourself clench again and he groans. “You’re perfect,” he repeats. You kiss his neck, then bite it, until he pushes you back down. “I bet you’ve never had an orgasm before, have you?” You shake your head and he mimics that motion, tapping your bottom lip with his thumb. “Use your words, sweetheart.”
“No,” you manage to say, your voice hoarse.
He rocks into you, not as hard and fast as before, but it makes you pant helplessly nonetheless. “Yeah, I thought so,” he mumbles more to himself than to you.
“Please,” you whisper.
He smirks down at you, then shifts his knees ever so slightly to change the angle. Suddenly, he’s brushing against something deep inside of you that makes a sob erupt from deep in your chest.
“Do you even know what you’re asking for?” he teases, but there is a strain in his voice now, as if he’s struggling to hold onto something.
“Please,” you repeat louder, unable to fully grasp the meaning of his question.
Arthur’s thumb is back on your lip and then he pushes it inside your mouth. You swirl your tongue around the tip eagerly, then suck on it, grazing your teeth over his skin. His breathing turns ragged, and the warmth of pride erupts in your chest. With a wet sound, he pulls his thumb out from between your lips and pushes his hand between your bodies until it comes to rest on that small spot you were toying with earlier. You howl and twitch and your whole body erupts. You spill over, you lose sense of where and who you are, you’re shaken by forces beyond your control. All the while, Arthur pounds into you, strokes you inside and out, and you think you hear him say, “That’s it, just let go. You’re so fucking beautiful – just let go.”
As soon as you feel like you can breathe again, he pulls out of you, leaving you aching and empty and cold. Through hooded eyes, you watch as he moves his hand up and down his cock fast until he spills all over his hand and the edge of your bedroll, gaze not directed downwards, but staring at you with insatiable hunger in his eyes. And you return that gaze just as hungrily, wondering what it would feel like to taste his release on your tongue.
Arthur stands unsteadily and retrieves his coat from the other side of the campfire. You feel the cold of the night now and hug your knees to your chest, still trying to make sense of the world. “Now, no more of that,” he says when he gets back, draping his coat over you, the weight of it making your limbs grow soft. He lies down next to you, pressing his front to your back, one arm possessively slung over your chest, the other shoved under your head for you to use as a pillow.
*******
The morning sun is warm on your face as you ride through a slowly thinning forest. The plains and your destination cannot be far from here. Your thoughts are though; they’re still somewhere behind you, stuck at a campfire, busy chasing the feeling of the man next to you between your legs.
When you reach a fork in the path, you stop your horse and look off to your right, back into the forest and the mountains. “What’s back there?” you ask.
Arthur stops his horse next to yours and looks down the path. “Never been over that way,” he answers.
“Do you want to find out?” Your voice is firm, but you don’t look at Arthur.
He’s quiet at first. “Your father –”
“– already paid you,” you finish the sentence.
Arthur nods. “Alright,” he says, then looks back at the path you just put behind you, then off to your right again. “Let’s find out what’s over there.”
***
arthur morgan taglist: @cjillian97 | @hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmsstuff | @imaginativefanatic | @joelmillers-whore | @misspearly1 | @spacecowboyhotch | @tortor-mcgee | @wickedscribbles
perma taglist: @alexturner | @amneris21 | @din-jarhead | @harriedandharassed | @martellthemandalor | @nyfeeer | @nobodys-baby-now | @od-ends | @pedrorascal | @radiowallet-writes
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ruthlessrps · 2 months
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𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐍𝐄𝐘'𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 (𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟕) 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒. - feel free to make any adjustments as necessary!
"what is the measure of a true hero?"
"will you listen to him?"
"lighten up, dude."
"i'll take it from here, darling."
"it was a nasty place."
"behave yourself."
"look how cute he is."
"he's strong. like his dad."
"keep those away from the baby."
"let the kid have a little fun."
"is this an audience or a mosaic?"
"there's the little sunspot."
"i regrettably have a full time gig."
"you'll work yourself to death."
"i know you know."
"did you cut your hair or something? you look fabulous."
"my fate is in your lovely hands."
"okay, fine, fine. i'm cool, i'm fine."
"how do you kill a god?"
"perhaps they've answered our prayers."
"that boy is a menace."
"he's too dangerous to be around normal people."
"he didn't mean any harm. he's just a kid."
"i'm warning you. keep that freak away from here."
"you shouldn't let those things they said back there get to you."
"i try to fit in, i just can't."
"i feel like i really don't belong here."
"i have often dreamed of a far-off place."
"this is where i'm meant to be."
"i know every mile will be worth my while."
"i would go almost anywhere to feel like i belong."
"it's the symbol of the gods."
"you're old enough now to know the truth."
"how do you become a true hero?"
"i will please the gods."
"you sure this is the right place?"
"haven't you ever had a dream?"
"come inside. i want to show you something."
"every single one of those bums let me down."
"dreams are for rookies."
"i'm different from those other guys."
"i'm too old to get mixed up in this stuff again."
"i'm down to one last hope."
"you're not exactly a dream come true."
"you'll have to do."
"now that's more like it!"
"you want a road test? saddle up, kid."
"not so fast, sweetheart."
"i'm a damsel, i'm in distress, i can handle this."
"what are you doing? get your sword."
"a hero's only as good as his weapon."
"is wonderboy here for real?"
"at least i beat him, didn't i?"
"did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorals?"
"are you always this articulate?"
"who are you calling a rodent?"
"he comes on with his innocent farm boy routine, but i can see through that in a new york minute."
"people here are nuts because they live in a city of turmoil."
"it seems to me that what you folks need is a hero."
"i have this terrible fear of heights."
"try to be a little bit more careful next time."
"i don't think we covered this one in basic training."
"you gotta admit - that was pretty heroic."
"he was so hot steam looked cool."
"everybody's got a weakness."
"there is nothing you can't do."
"it's great to see you. i missed you."
"you sound like you could use a break."
"i didn't know playing hooky could be so much fun."
"wonderboy, you are perfect."
"when i was a kid i would've given anything to be exactly like everybody else."
"you're the most amazing person i've ever met."
"when i'm with you i don't feel so alone."
"i would never ever hurt you."
"let's both do ourselves a favour and stop this."
"that's it. next time, i drive."
"no man is worth the aggravation."
"get yourself another girl. i'm through."
"i can't believe you're getting so worked up about some guy."
"people are gonna get hurt, aren't they?"
"now you know how it feels to be just like everyone else."
"i know what i did was wrong, but this isn't about me."
"if you don't help him now, he'll die."
"people always do crazy things when they're in love."
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6emo6zombie6 · 10 months
Text
RDR2 relationship/sexual headcanons -- F!reader
(Arthur, John, Dutch)
I've been seeing these a lot, and it would be fun to share my own. So, here you go! Warning for NSFW stuff though ;) I might make more of these in the future but I'm out of ideas for other characters at the moment.
__________________________________________________________
Arthur:
Absolute sweetheart, will do anything for you.
Can’t stand to see you crying. Usually, he’s reserved, but around you, he’ll coo softly and hold you in his arms.
“Shh… hey, I’m here. You’re safe.”
Always shares his food when he’s around you. And if there is no food, he’ll share his cigarettes.
He won’t admit it but loves it when you pick flowers for him. Usually, he keeps them in an empty whiskey bottle beside his bed.
Will ask you to help him pomade his hair, though you both know it’s because he likes getting scalp massages.
He’ll somehow always find a way to escort you.
“I’ll walk with you to your horse” “Need me to come with you?” “You sure you’re okay goin’ on your own?”
Not a fan of holding hands, though he’ll have his arm over your shoulders or around your waist most of the time.
Looooovessss hugging you from the back.  
Not opposed to you grabbing his ass once in a while.
Loves forehead kisses, whether it is receiving or giving them.
~~~~~
Not rough in bed—rather thorough. He won’t break the bed or have it slamming against the wall, but he spends a while preparing you. Foreplay lasts an hour minimum until he decides you can take every inch of him.
Will overstimulate himself if it means you’ll cum.
Not loud, but he takes pride in hearing you moan his name.
If he doesn’t have the energy to have full-blown sex, he’ll sit you on his lap and finger you until you’re trembling.
Not the biggest fan of receiving head, since it makes talking practically impossible for you, and he hates silent sex.
Enjoys handjobs while making out, though usually he’ll only accept one if he’s drunk.
Constant compliments.
Lap sex??? To Arthur, there is nothing better than holding you close while you bounce on his cock.
John:
Not all too touchy, but he’ll stare at you like you’re an angel 24/7.
Likes it when you hug his side, especially if you're shorter than him so he can tuck you under his arm.
Will randomly polish your shoes or your saddle.
Never forgets to give you a kiss when he leaves camp.
Usually confused when you’re upset or angry, but he’ll try his best to talk you through it.
Very protective of you, especially around other men. He's constantly worried that you might get hurt.
Stubborn as a bull, though he means well. The two of you always seem to be making up for arguments.
Always the big spoon.
Never skips out on a night of drinking with you.
Lets you sit on his lap, though usually only when he’s tipsy.
~~~~~~
Obsessed with hearing you plead. He’ll make you beg for absolutely anything.
If you’ve misbehaved in any way, he’ll punish you with abstinence.
On the other hand, he praises you for everything you do right.
“Yeah, that’s it, good girl.” “atta girl…” “You’re doing so well.”
Always on top. Probably because his ego is a little fragile.
Likes to switch between quick sex and passionate sex every once in a while. One day he’ll be ramming into you for twenty minutes, while the other he’ll spend the same time just getting you undressed.
Dacryphiliac—he loves watching you cry for all the right reasons.
“You look so pretty like that, sweetheart.” “Look at you, such a mess for me.”
Only loud when you are.
Very courageous in bed, but he gets shy the next morning when the majority of the gang starts teasing him for the marks on his neck or the foul noises they heard coming from his tent.
Dutch:
(This one is for the girls with daddy issues, bear with me.)
Almost exclusively calls you pet names, never your actual name.
Stuff like “Sweetheart”, “sugar”, “My girl”,,, etc.
He’ll make sure everyone knows you’re his, usually introducing you as his girlfriend right away.
Likes picking out your clothes for you.
Tells you about the books he reads whenever he can.
The absolute master at calming you down. Whenever he sees that you’re upset, he’ll take you to his tent and sit you on his lap, then he’ll calmly talk things over with you until you’re calm again.
Yeah, loves having you on his lap.
Enjoys braiding your hair or pinning it into a bun.
Loves hugging you from behind when you’re doing your chores or talking with other gang members.
Will bathe you whenever he gets the chance.
~~~~~~
Rarely ever takes his clothes off, but forces you to be completely naked all the time. It adds an extra layer to the power dynamic that the two of you have In bed.
Bends you over his lap and spanks you whenever he feels you pay too little attention to him.
Also loves fingering you on his lap, though it’s more to tease than to make you cum.
Will go absolutely crazy if you sit on his lap and grin your ass into his bulge. It doesn’t even matter if anyone’s around because he’ll just excuse himself and drag you into his tent.
He wants everyone to know how good he makes you feel. If you’re not moaning his name or whining under his touch for everyone to hear, he’s not interested.
He expects you to follow every order that he gives you. You’re not getting his touch if you disobey.
You calling him “sir” makes him instantly grow hard.
Always leaving scratches and hickeys on you for other people to notice.
Enjoys lightly choking you when making out, just to show what could happen if you were to misbehave.
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theveryworstthing · 8 months
Text
I'm Alive
I posted this on patreon so I might as well post it again here. Hopefully current and past patrons see this as well as people who have just been generally curious about where I've been.
I'm very sorry for not being around and I'm very grateful to those who stuck around. To those who didn't, I get it and I truly appreciate you passing through. 
Last year and the beginning of this year have been pretty bad. Some of you might have heard about my grandma's death and sadly, she was just the first of the family losses in the time I've been gone. There was also a friend's death discovery, my parents' health tanking, my friends Going Through It, and my own physical/mental problems. I didn't want to talk to the internet about these things because they were/are very overwhelming and private and tbh I used all my energy to help with the household and make sure work got turned in on time. When I had spare time after dealing with the near constant disasters, I didn't really feel like interacting with the internet at all beyond using it as a way to talk to far away friends (mostly to give them the thumbs up that i was alive) or watch/read things when my brain was less scrambled. Social media was an absolute no go and I didn't have any non-work art to post so I just kind of mentally crawled under the porch to die lol. 
I only drew work related things for months due to extreme burnout and it took me almost a month off after my last job to remember how to create again. I couldn't draw or write, it was kinda like art block except it was more like nothing was there at all? It's hard to explain. 
Things are still happening but I need to get back in the saddle eventually so here I am. 
I'm going to post the little art I did in June and all the sketches I did in January when I re-learned how to draw for myself. Again, I'm so sorry for being away without saying anything and I'm grateful to whoever threw me a buck, or even just casually enjoyed my art. Leaving like I did was really irresponsible and there's no excuse for not at least making a post about all of this sooner.  Every month I got a patreon payment was another wave of guilt because I literally couldn't give y'all anything but at the same time that money was letting me book flights to funerals and keeping my mom comfortable while she recovered from surgery right after I spent a lot of my savings in 2022 trying to fight my late cat's cancer. And then not posting about what was going on made me more anxious as time went on because there was more guilt every month so I felt like I needed to come back with a bunch of art and energy and good reasons and it was just. A Mess. 
But anyway.
I'm alive, I'm back. The Horrors persist, but so do I.
Thank you for your patience.
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the-froschamethyst4 · 29 days
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Saddle Up and Shut Up
𖤐Pairing: Cowboy! Soap x Cowgirl! Reader
𖤐Pronouns: she/her
𖤐Warnings: Smut, fluff, language, married couple, P in V, pussy slapping, fingering, some dirty talk, kissing/making out, eating out, groping, nipple play, pinching,
𖤐Summary: Soap is obsessed with his wife, his wife is just as such a good cowgirl and helps him on the farm.
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After leaving the Military John Soap MacTavish had bought farmland in Yorkshire, England. He built a farmhouse and bought farm animals such as goats, sheep, cows, horses, pigs and chickens.
Soap then got married to his wife Y/n. Y/n was as good as him at being a cowgirl. She liked to go do farm chores with Soap like getting the eggs from the chickens, milking the goats and cows, shaving the sheep, and feeding the pigs and horses.
Y/n and Soap were in the field on the back of their horses, they were gonna wrangle up some calves and tag them. Soap sits walks over to her and stood next to her and saw the cows start running towards them, they got their lassos ready.
Y/n through her rope and got one of the calves and took it down, she tied it's legs and tagged the baby, she let's the calf go and got another along with Soap.
They've tagged around 10 calves.
"All done," Y/n says.
"Yep," Soap says popping the p.
Soap watches as sweat rolls down her neck. She looked so sexy right now. In Soap's eyes she looked so sexy.
"John."
"Huh?" He says, looking at her.
"Are you hungry?"
"Oh yeah, I am," he says with a smirk.
Soap and Y/n headed back to the farmhouse, they got off their horses and let them eat the grass in the front yard. She kicked her boots off at the door and Soap does too.
Soap watched her make some ham sandwiches and Soap picked which chips he wanted for his sandwich. Soap placed the chips next to the plate, Soap then placed his hand into Y/n's back pocket pulling her close to him.
"John."
"What? I'm not doing anything," he says, kissing her temple.
"Well...are you hungry?"
"I'm hungry for something else," he finally says.
He picks her up and places her on the island in the middle of the kitchen, he stood between her legs, he kisses her lips, hands cupping her cheeks and they started to have a heavy make out session.
Soap's hands going under her small white tank top, groping her breasts, they fit perfectly in his hands as she let's out a soft moan. Her fingers combing through his hair.
"S-Soap," she moans.
Soap then pins Y/n on her back, her arms going over her head as his lips were hot and wet. His tongue drags down her neck, she moans again and her finger clench in his hair slightly tugging at the strains.
"Fuck," he moans.
He sits up, he starts unbuckling his belt and removing his nasty gray shirt. He fishes his dick out of his boxers and gives himself a few pumps before, removing Y/n's belt and pulling her jeans off, her cute panties on full display for him. He smirks kissing her inner thighs, and sucking just above her panties.
He starts pulling them down and tossed them on the floor. He licks his lips before taking his hand and gently slapping it against her sloppy wet pussy.
She moans grabbing his wrist and trying to make him stop but she also didn't want him to stop. He slaps it again, she moans and squeezed her thighs around his hand.
"God, you look so cute like this, Bonnie." he says.
"K-Keep going," Y/n moans. He smirks and one the last slap he shoves two fingers inside of her. She moans, she squeezes around his fingers.
"God, you're so fucking tight baby," he says.
"Ah!" She moans indicating that he should go faster and he did. He pushes his fingers in and out of her lower half. His fingers were thick and calloused, she moans and held his wrist.
She could feel herself close to coming. She looks at him and he smirks pulling his fingers out, she whines and then he pumps himself a few more times again, before pushing himself inside of her.
She put her head back hitting the wooden counter top. She moans from the pain but ignored it because she was feeling so good. Soap smirks when seeing her face become red and tears wanting to fall from her eyes and roll down her cheeks. He puts his finger under her eyes and wiped them away from her eyes.
He leans down kissing the salty tears away from her face. He smiles down at her, her arms wrapping around his neck and her legs wrap around his waist.
"God, you're so fucking hot," he smirks, kissing her neck and sucking on her neck leaving small purple bruises. His thrusts were becoming sloppy. He starts groaning as his tip hits against her spot. Y/n moans tossing her head back.
Soap sat down holding Y/n against his chest, he starts moving his hands from her back down to her hips, helping her bounce up and down, his tip hitting her spot, over and over.
Her head then went to his shoulder muffling her moans and biting his shoulder, he groans and taps her ass a few times earning light moans from her.
"Fuck, fuck," Y/n curses and felt herself squeeze around him. He groans and gives one more sloppy thrust and felt himself coming. Y/n let's out one more moan before coming as well.
Y/n was panting as Soap pulls out, feeling his tip and feeling his sticky cum. He moves Y/n on her back, he goes down and sees cum leaking from her. He smirks and licks his lips and licks the mixed cum.
Y/n moans her thighs wanting to squeeze around his head but they were being forced open by Soap. He looks up at her, her right arm over her eyes, her mouth slightly opened with moans coming from her lips. Her left hand squeezing the the edge of the counter top.
Her nipples were hard due to the cold counter on her back when her tank top raised up. His hand goes up Y/n's tank top squeezing her breasts and pinching at her hard nipples.
She moans her small hands holding his hand through her tank top.
"S-Soap, I'm-I'm gonna cum again," she moans.
"Do it, bonnie," he groans as he kept licking her and sucking on her clit.
She moans fighting against his hand holding her open, she finally squeezed his head as he moving his tongue faster and the wet sounds filled the kitchen.
"Ah!" She moans before finally coming again.
Soap sits up looking down at Y/n, she was sweaty and her hair sticking to her forehead along with Soap's hair sticky to his own forehead.
"Fucking hell," he cusses.
Soap pulls Y/n off the counter top and takes her to their shared bathroom. He placed her on the sinks counter taking off her tank top and turning on the shower. He watches as she gets off the counter and gets into the shower.
Soap strips from his clothes and hops in the shower with Y/n. He starts cleaning her up before himself. He pours shampoo in his hands rubbing it in and massaging it into her hair. Rinsing it out of her hair and then using her conditioner.
He grabs her loofa and puts her body wash on it and rubs it gently into her skin, she smelled like strawberries and vanilla.
"You smell so good," he says, kissing her neck and her shoulder.
"I better, you're cleaning me," she says.
---------
Y/n laid on the couch in one of Soap's shirts, he comes out of the shower in sweatpants and no shirt like usual. He sits next to her moving her feet to his lap.
"You tired?" He asks.
"A bit," she moves to cuddle up to his side now.
"I can tell, don't worry, bonnie," he kisses the top of her head, her eyes started to close, and light snores came from her. Soap smiles down at her kissing the top of her head and rubbed her side.
"You're such a sexy cowgirl," he mumbles, he taps her hips and gave her hip a gentle squeeze. "Sleep tight, bonnie," he says.
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a-hazbin-reader · 7 months
Note
Just had a fun idea but like, what about hcs on how the others would react upon realizing s/o has feelings for Alastor? Like out of everyone they could've fallen for of it HAD to be him kjbgbkjs
Thanks for the consideration and take care of yourself op! Drink water, eat food, and know ur favs adore you!
Everyone finding out that wifey is married to Alastor??? 👀 That's what I heard-
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: A little suggestive in the middle bit? Angel helps wifey buy lingerie
Description: ☝️⬆️
You meet everyone at the hotel separately from your husband, so they never make the connection until they actually see you two together
Except Niffty, Alastor just had her trailing behind him one day
"Niffty! This is my darling wife! She is the lady of the house!"
"Neat! I'm gonna go find some bugs!"
"...she's cute, Alastor."
"She's a menace in disguise, my dear~"
When you first met Husker, you were playing cards when he suddenly saddled himself next to you with the kind of confidence that only an overlord has
Luckily, the game was only for fun, the two of you competing against each other in friendly competition
It's a good time between the two of you, you're charming and witty, Husk just eats it up and keeps asking you to play another game
"You're pretty good at this aren't you, beautiful? Do you gamble often?"
You simply hum and politely sip your drink, carefully thinking about how you're going to turn down the overlord
"I don't tend to frequent these sorts of places but my darling husband and I are celebrating so it's a special occasion~"
"Husband?"
"Oh, he's harmless! A real romantic...~"
He deflates a little at the mention of your husband but moves on like nothing happened and that's the last you see of him for a couple of months
That is until Alastor comes home one day looking exceptionally pleased with himself as he sweeps you up into an impromptu dance
"Alastor~! What's gotten into you~?"
"Another victory under my belt, my dear~! You know how you've been saying you always wanted a cat?"
"No?"
"Well, I went out and got you one!"
You barely have time to ask him what he means when suddenly Husk is standing in front of you, looking shocked
"Oh Alastor...tell me you didn't go after him just because he flirted with me a little.."
"Of course not, darling~! I did it beca-he did what now?"
Husk looks around in bewilderment before his eyes land on you wrapped in your husband's arms, pointing at you accusingly
"HE'S YOUR HUSBAND!? You need to look up the definition of HARMLESS cause he ain't harmless!"
You meet Charlie because she quite literally runs into you, tears in her eyes and obviously upset
"I'm so so SO sorry! I-"
"Hey hey...what are you sorry for? Are you okay, my dear?"
You can't help but mother her, wiping away her tears as she tries to excuse her tears as nothing serious
"Would you like to talk about it? I can't just leave you crying out in the street like a lost baby, now can I?"
She sniffles pathetically and nods, letting you guide her somewhere more private
"Y-yes please..."
"Come now, we'll make some hot tea and you can tell me what's got you so worked up..."
You two grow attached to each other after that and make time to meet with each other at least a few times a month
She gets anxious when she hasn't heard from you in a while and calls you whenever she's upset about something, seeking your opinion
You listen to Charlie's problems and try to offer her advice or do what you can to help her feel better, sometimes she just needs a motherly hug
She tells you about her hotel and whether you believe in her dream or not, you support her because she obviously needs it
Other times, you two talk about your respective partners and gossip
"Your husband sounds so sweet! I've got to meet him one day! When he comes back, of course..."
You laugh at her enthusiasm, gently patting her hand to calm the excitable young woman down a little and trying to quell the sadness of his absence
"And this girlfriend of yours sounds like she really cares about you, I'd love to meet her."
You feel compelled to look after her, and Charlie sees you as a source of comfort if not a mother figure to her
So she eventually introduces Vaggie to you because you've been asking to meet her, Vaggie is just excited to meet the famous Y/N
She's heard so much about you from Charlie that she had to see if you were genuine, she had to make sure you weren't using her girlfriend
Only to be taken aback by just how much she ends up liking you, looking to you for advice just as Charlie does
She's geared up, ready to fight, when one day you two are suddenly cornered by thugs out on the street, only to be baffled when you take them out with ease
Just how powerful are you?
"Wait wait wait-how did you pull off that move? I've been trying to learn how to do that for months!"
You're casually fixing your clothes and rubbing your wrist, completely unfazed by the ambush
"It's just a little something I learned from my husband~ Would you like me to teach you?"
"Y-yes! Please!"
She readily accepts, and soon she's just as attached to you as Charlie is, looking forward to the times you agree to spar with her
Her and Charlie talk about how much they love you one night before they go to bed
"So....she's great right?"
"Charlie, I fucking love her."
"Right!?"
You meet Angel at a clothing store, the two of you shopping in the same section when you catch him staring hard at the gloves
"You should try this one, the color compliments you really well, and they're made from a good material."
He jumps in surprise, obviously startled by your sudden arrival, but does genuinely seem to look at the pair of gloves you're pointing out
Angel picks them up and tries them on, seemingly more than pleased with your picks, whatever thoughts that were weighing on his mind momentarily forgotten
"Thanks..! Uh, maybe I can help you pick something out?"
He gestures to the many different lingerie in your basket, you're obviously having a hard time deciding which one to get
You have the decency to at least look a little embarrassed, a soft blush taking over your features and making you look innocent
"Would you? My husband is back, and I just want to show him how much I've missed him..."
Angel guides you to the fitting rooms, obviously excited to be of help, he could be saving a marriage for all he knows!
"Sure thing, doll! You put on each one, and Angel Dust here will tell you which one will knock your man off his feet! If I know anything! It's how to turn a man on!"
Normally, you wouldn't even THINK about showing another man your body in lingerie, but hearing that and having an inkling of who Angel is, you trust him
And it's surprisingly fun! Angel helps you narrow it down to three favorites that are sexy and comfortable, it never once feels creepy or uncomfortable
"Now pose like this when he comes in! Yes! Just like that! Your hubby is gonna lose his mind when he sees you!"
You can't help but laugh, not at all feeling ridiculous but enjoying Angel's antics and enthusiasm
"Thank you, Angel. We should go clothes shopping together again sometime, I had a good time today."
He winks and holds out his phone to get your number before walking away, no longer seeming so...depressed
"And you'll have an even better time tonight! See you later, doll~!"
You two shop together on the regular after that, greeting each other with air kisses and judging people together
"Ugh, do you see the hair on that gal? What an absolute wreck!"
"That hairstyle wasn't even popular when my husband and I were alive...ugh..."
"When am I gonna meet this man of yours anyways?"
"When he stops going to a tailor and agrees to come shopping with me~"
You're laying in bed with Alastor one night, nuzzled under his chin and cuddling in his arms when he suddenly speaks
"You know that little...project I've been working on?"
You're nearly asleep, the feeling of his thumb rubbing your arm soothing you more than he realizes
"Mhm..."
"Well, I was thinking maybe I could take you with me tomorrow...everyone there has been dying to meet you."
You open your eyes to look at your husband, smiling at him as you lean up to kiss him softly
"More people who don't believe that you have a wife? I'll be happy to set the record straight~"
He chuckles and rolls you two over so that he's on top of you, kissing down your neck as his hands push up your nightgown
"I can't wait to show you off to everyone~"
The next day, Alastor takes your arm in his and leads you inside, you're more than a little surprised to see that his project is a hotel
You're a bit shocked to see so many familiar faces in front of you, Niffty running up to hug your leg and Husk giving you a lazy wave
Charlie, Vaggie and Angel are all staring you like you're a ghost, eyes slowly moving from Alastor to you over and over again
Charlie drops her tray of snacks in surprise, rushing up to give you a bone crushing hug while Vaggie stands in front of Alastor as if to protect you
"Y/N! What are you doing here!? Are you here to give redemption a try? Oh, I knew you would come around!!"
You laugh and hug her back while patting her head, gently prying her arms off of you so you can pet Niffty
"It's good to see you too, my dear princess, though I'm here with my husband."
Vaggie's jaw drops, and she whips around to look at you, jabbing a finger at Alastor as you see her trying to digest the truth in front of her
"You! A-and him!? The Radio Demon?!"
Alastor takes the opportunity to pull you back to his side, a loving arm around your waist as you happily lean on him, hand on his chest
"Everyone! This is Y/N, my lovely wife~! Y/N, please tell them all that you're here of your own volition and that you are happily married to the most wonderful demon in all of hell!"
You hear Angel trying to hold in his laughter, obviously flashing back to the many conversations he's had with you about your mysterious husband
"Yes yes, I'm happily married to him and I'm not under any mind control or deal or anything else like that~"
You can hear Vaggie's soul leave her body, Charlie's delighted squeal and Angel's uncontrollable laughter at the sight of you and Alastor rubbing noses in an obnoxiously cute manner
"This is the guy you've been buyin' all those sexy clothes for!? Oh my fuck!! This is too good!"
"I can't believe Alastor was your husband this whole time!! I knew he was secretly a big softie! Oh my gosh! You should hear how he talks about you it's so cute!!"
"...I don't get what you see in him..."
"I don't either, you know that when I first met her, she called him HARMLESS? She's delusional."
"He's a bad boy and she LIKES IT~!"
Your husband looks at you in confusion, gently stroking your cheek
"All this time I spent singing your praises to earn you a decent reputation around here was for nothing? I should've known you'd have stolen their hearts already~"
You smile and kiss Alastor's palm sweetly, earning a chorus of cooing and disgusted noises from your audience
"Actually, I've met everyone here before, darling... it seems we've been unintentionally been keeping our a marriage a secret from everyone!"
Charlie is just so enamored with the way you two interact as a couple, her eyes sparkling whenever she watches you two together
Vaggie is just disappointed in your taste in men and shakes her head whenever you two are affectionate, secretly she thinks it's cute
Angel gets a kick out bugging Alastor about the clothes he helped you pick out, always asking him if he liked the lingerie
Husk is just thankful for the distraction you prove to be for Alastor because then he has more time to himself, encourages you two to go on a lot of dates
Niffty is just crazy as always 😜 She likes you two together though and will stab anyone who tries to separate you two
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This one took so long!! I hope you like it!!
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writingoddess1125 · 11 months
Text
It seems like a great Morning for DEPRESSION!
You Pass Away Giving Birth
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Buggy, Mihawk, Crocodile
⚠️Warning:⚠️ Depression, Death, Light gore, Character Death, Overall Saddness
Was listening to sad music and wrote this.
Buggy
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There had been complications from the start- being pregnant with twins always had this.. and truthfully Buggy had wanted to curse himself when he learned that he had accidently done this to you. However you remained optimistic- even at the face of peril.
Buggy had hired so many doctors, wanting at least one of them to save you but it seemed that fate was too tightly wrapped around you.
"Y-You're going to be fine I promise (Y/N)-" Buggy said desperately as he sat next to you, watching you battle for the lives of the babies. Another sobbing scream leaving you as doctors rushed in and out with new tools, techniques and more to keep you Alive. However the growing pile of bloody towels and bowls was a clue it wasn't working.
Your mission wasn't to survive but to save the children. Giving Buggys hand a tight bone breaking squeeze you pushed with all your might- Buggy saying words of encouragement till two new lives were brought into this world and you slacked against the bed, pale as paper and your breathing getting shallow.
They rushed the babies to the side of the room as Buggy leaned over you in a panic. Rubbing the hair from your face as he spoke in a panic seeing you slipping away.
"You did it! N-Now Don't leave me please (Y/N)! I'm begging you p-please" He sobbed, but you looked up at him.. gave a gentle smile and worded 'love you' one final time before slipping away right under his fingers... He sobbed and continued his desperate plea for you as he pressed his face against your cold on.
A nurse pulling him back slightly as his world seemed to blur around him- realizing the panic noises of the staff was not for you but for the twins. He didn't even have to say anything as the staff grew quiet at the single newborn cry in the room, sorrowful looks in their eyes as they looked to Buggy. One child laying still on the cot while the other was brought to him.
"I-Im so sorry- Only one survived" The midwife said softly and placed the tiny bundle in his arms still not cleaned and just wrapped in a blanket. Buggy held the suiviving twin, his body feeling cold and chest hollow as he stared down at her beautiful face.. She was so small... so fragile.
He felt his body shake as broken sobs left him and all he could do was hold her close to him, sobbing at the same time the newborn wailed.
"I-Its okay Cry away" He managed to say as he sobbed, feeling it was better in this moment and only this moment to not cry alone. He rocked the both of them in a desperate need to feel comfort at losing the love of his life and one of his children in one night..
He only glanced up from sobbing when the doctor placed a fresh white sheet over you and the deceased child's body. Covering it from sight as the Captian grieved.
Buggy smoothed a shaky hand over the newborn as the Midwife stepped forward to clearn off the newborn and get her dressed. Buggy not even realizing or caring the baby was covered in blood and goo. The midwife was quick, dressing the little girl and handing Buggy a bottle.
The new father still in a whirlpool of sorrow starred to feed her, still crying as before but with a broken smile on his lips.
"I-Im sorry you got saddled with me little one.. It's just us now.. You and me against it all" He said softly trying to ease his crying as the newborn began to down the bottle.
"You look like your mother... I-Im so happy for that... we hadn't figured out names yet, S-So hopefully your mother won't curse me but What about Mei-Mei? Hm?..." He managed as he pulled the empty bottle from her, holding her to his chest and patting her back as he continued to sob.
"Y-Yeah..My little Mei Mei"
Mihawk
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It was his fault... he should have stopped you- It was ment as a journey to find a doctor to assist in your soon to be delivery- Mihawk wanting to keep you behind but you insisted on coming along, but due to the enemies of the past it turned into a battle. Mihawk had been sure he had secured you in a safe place, away from the carnage but who would have known a young man barely out of his teens had spotted him and walked into the safe house with his gun raised and shot you-
He heard it, rushing back to slaughter the boy as he saw you laying there holding the wound to your chest and gasping for air.
Mihawk pressing against the wound to stop the bleeding but it was so close to your heart he was sure you grazed it. Your eyes widened as you touched his arm desperately tears flooding your gaze.
"S-Save them" You managed, Mihawk still pressing all the bullet wound on your chest before feeling your body go limp and heart stop right under his palm.
"No..." He growled, anger flooding his system as he was ready to burn this island to the ground- That was till your words rang in his ears and he placed his bloody palm on your stomach, Feeling the fluttering movement of his still alive child just before the surface. He knew what he had to do... Save them- Pulling the cross from his neck he uncapped it and took a shaky sigh.
"I-Im so sorry"
Mihawk felt for the first time his hands tremble, warm tears flooding his yellow eyes as he took a breath... he didn't have much time... Lifting the blade from his cross he struck down, cutting into your flesh as the warmth of your blood flooded his hands. Something he had never wanted to feel-
With care he cut through the corpse of your abdomen and to the womb- With skinned hands he pulled up his child and held them with care. Panic filling his eyes as he didn't hear a cry or them even move- Tossing the cross to the side he began to do cpr on the little girl, carefully forcing air into her lungs and trying to start her breathing.
"Please..." He whispered as he used three fingers to press on the little girls chest to start her heart, Before she coughed and began to wail into the night air. Mihawk sighing in relief and cutting the cord with his teeth unfortunately due to tossing the blade as he held the baby to his chest- Staring down at the gory mess that was you and he had to closed his eyes..
"I'm sorry (Y/N)..." He whispered both at having to disrespect your body even at your request.. and for you not being able to meet your guys daughter.
"... You were right.. a girl" He whispered, looking down finally at his child who was still crying- Shivering a bit from the cold so he took off his coat and wrapped her tightly in it.
"We will name here Meira.. the light of you" He whispered softly. He knew he needed to get his daughter medical attention but wasn't going to leave you like thisveither. So he buried you and placed all the flowers he could ontop of your makeshift grave- Walking away with his daughter in his arms to the closest village.
Crocodile
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It had all been going to well- yet in a second it changed.. You had gone into labor just hours before and Crocodile knew what to expect some pain, screaming and other discomforts before you gave birth to a healthy baby. However this? The back to back complications that left you exhausted and You had started to bleed during it all and the nurses started to panic...
You were fighting so hard, Crocodile holding your hand as you struggled to bring his child into the world. While his face was stoic and solid you knew the panic behind his eyes.. his wife the only one he would allow close to his heart- and the doctors were scrambling around you to ease the birth.
However you knew... you left it.. and Crocodile did as well.
"C-Croc promise me... you will love them like you love me..I love you" You manage to whisper out, Crocodile nodding hesitantly in agreement to your shaky words whispered voice managing out a 'I love you too'.
A cry ripped through your throat as another wash of pain hit you. Doctors trying to slow down the bleeding- After a few more desperate moments the doctors pulled the screaming child from between your legs. However that wasn't even highlighted as they scrambled to keep you Alive-
Crocodile being pushed to the side as they started CPR but- he felt it... he saw that final breath leave you and thay light fade from your eyes...
His world felt like it crumbled then, a nurse escorting him out to the benches just outside the room. Truthfully he was too dazed to care- the image of you gone still burning in his eyes.
Crocodile sat there in what could only be a state of shock- His wife was gone... ripped away due to his blood. It didn't take long for a skittish nurse to step forward, holding a blue bundle in her arms.
"I-Im sorry sir... I know there is nothing I can say to-" He shot her glare. Forcing her to shut up as she nodded and instead stepped forward to show him the bundle. There laid a plump baby, Crocodile felt his heart clench- especially when he could see the perfect mix between you and him.. Slowly he reached an arm out and took the baby slowly.
He watched the newborn yawn and cuddled into his chest carefully for warmth, sucking hard on the blue pacifier in his mouth as he clearly dreamt of food.
"...You are fortunate.. I loved your mother more then I can dislike you for taking her away... and I promised her" He said calmly down to the baby, holding him close as he stared down at the boys features. His mind drifting to you laying in bed next to him rubbing oil on the stretch marks of your swollen belly talking about all the hope you had for your child and the future...
"Hope... hm.. In honor of your Mother- your name is Kibo.. her last shred of hope"
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