#i'm going to be cackling all fucking day anon thank you

[bipherpol]

In regards to the Nico siblings AU, have you heard the theory that Robin's father is Monkey D. Dragon? I ask only because the mental image of Lucci slowly realizing that Luffy is their half-brother is hilarious.

Like, there's definitely joy because he's not the only younger sibling anymore, but also LUFFY is their younger brother. This is alarming and confusing and Jabra will laugh himself sick.

i had not heard that theory but that is hilarious. lucci would be absolutely horrified at finding out he's related to luffy. like, yay he's not the youngest, but... luffy. lucci strongly considers asking to be adopted by someone else rather than be related to luffy.

(and garp. imagine looking at garp and realizing he's your grandfather.)

[klintoris]

I've seen a few things recently...sooo brat taming schlatt. Thinking about how mad and cocky he was on the trivia episode, plus this one tiktok that I've seen. ...kinda need him to to be super annoying and look at his stupid eyes and smirk. Boom, I go ham. Go crazy

Thank you for listening

heloooo anon!!! sorry for the really late reply LOLOLOL, I'm not sure which episode you mean but I did some homework so I hope this is what you wanted.

schlatt brat taming, hints of dacryphilia, edging, inflicting pain, idk I think that's it. oh and mommy kink if you squint (use of ma)

NOT PROOF READ LOL

Schlatt and I are both hard workers when it comes to our jobs. although he has an editor, I do not, so I need all the focus I can get to finish my videos. 

I was editing a longer video, around 3 hours of footage, so the likelihood of me finishing within a day is doubtful. Usually, when I am editing, I block everyone out and lock in. 

It's around 4 am and I'm still going at the video, fully engulfed in the task at hand. 

I zone back out when I hear long-stridden footsteps coming towards my office, almost in a hurried motion. The door swings open and I see a large figure in the reflection of my screen. 

“What's up,” I say still turned around, “Ma can you please come to bed” schlatt says needily. “Sorry baby I’m working righ’now”, he groans at my response. I hear the weight on the floor shift as I look in the reflection I vaguely see schlatt doing something with his pants. 

For the first time in hours, I take my eyes off the screen and look at what he's toying with, as I turn my chair I see him rubbing himself through his sweats, breathing heavily.

“Baby, you know I don't like it when you touch yourself,” I tilt my head in disapproval. He huffs as he stares into my eyes, still touching himself with a smirk. 

I roll my eyes and turn myself back around, receiving a groan from the large man. 

I try to get back to editing but all I can hear is the stupidly pathetic moans of the man behind me, “if you keep doing that-”, “Or what?” he retorts. I swing back around staring at him as his eyes challenge me, “What toots’? What y’gonna do? I ain't scared of you”. “Excuse me”, “y’fucking heard me”, I bolt out of my seat, striding over and grabbing his dick, yanking him into our shared bedroom, he protests with a ton of ows and fucks. 

Practically throwing him onto the bed and straddling him, immediately slapping his face, “You think you can just talk to me like that? Huh? Think you can talk down to me? I own you” I stare down at him, all he's doing is just laying there with a huge grin on his face. “Hit me again ma” he beams up at me trying to put his hands on my hips. I slap his hands away, “I'm not gonna give you that I don't think you even deserve to be fucking touched”, he frowns at that, leaving the smile behind. “Fuck please m sorry ma, just let me fuck that pretty pussy of yours” he pouts, his once cocky stare is now just a stupid pleading look. “You don't even deserve my pussy right now with the way you are acting”, I get off him and grab the handcuffs and vibrator. “No not the fucking vibrator please fuck”, “You think you're above me but look at the way you are right now, so dumb” schlatt whimpers as I get back on the bed.

“Give me your hands or are you gonna fight with me again?” he slowly brings his hands up to me, i place the handcuff on his one hand and fish the other cuff through one of the bed posts and then cuff it to his other hand.

 “Don't do this toots I’ll be a good boy I swear” he plead watching me yank down his sweats, “no undies huh? What a slut” I chuckle. 

I lean back just staring at him, his shirt ridden up and his face red. 

“Fuckin’ jus touch me, princess, please”, “oh playing nice now? You know that won't save you now.”. 

He whimpers and yanks at the cuffs, I reach over and grab the vibrator off the bedside table, and as I do he starts yanking faster. 

“Fuck baby almost makes me feel bad for you” I cackle almost.

I turn the vibrator on the lowest setting, straddling his legs so he can't move, slowly inching it towards his cock. 

I stare up at him through my lashes watching him squirm as I place the low humming object near the base of his cock. 

Gently running it up and down, only to take it off again.

“Fuck’m ma please” schlatt begs

“Please what honey? Use your words” 

“Please let me f-fuck you”

“Awh no baby you lost that privilege today” 

He whines as I turn the speed up on the vibrator, throwing his head back on the pillow once I bring it back down to the tip.

His angry tip pulsing against the vibrator, brushing the vibrator up and down his length.

Again pulling away once I feel his hips attempt to buck up against the vibrator, he whimpers in frustration.

“God you fucking bitch-” he huffs without thinking, I grab his face and make him look at me. “Do you want me to keep going?”, “please-” “then shut the fuck up,” I say as I push his face back. 

He grins stupidly, almost happily as if he is overjoyed by my treatment of him, I shake my head and turn the vibrator to the max. 

Bringing it down on his length again, faster and more determined now, “Don't cum until I say so” he whines at my words. Going up and down, focusing on the tip more, I start to fondle his balls. 

Schlatt moans out and starts to buck his hips up against my hand, along with the toy. His cock angry and red, wanting to cum so badly. 

“Please- toots cant please can I cum? Fuck-”, I smirk and pull the toy away. 

I see a tear shed from his eyes from frustration, “Are you gonna be a good boy?”, “please yes yes” his once cocky demeanour from early is completely gone. 

“Good,” I say before putting the loud vibrator back onto his cock, bucking his hips up again I can tell he's close. I scratch my nails into his thigh, making his cock twitch harshly, “please ma? Can I cum-” “Yes baby let it out for me”. 

Before I can even finish my sentence he's shooting ropes onto his sweatshirt, panting and whimpering as he finishes. 

We sit there for a second after I turn the vibrator off, he starts to pull at the handcuffs, looking at me.

“Ok ok ok” I unlock them and let his hands fall, finding leverage in my ass. He sighs, “what” I stare at him with a weird look.

“I don't know I don't think I've learned my lesson” he laughs.

[sgiandubh]

Hi, I don't know if you understand me or go through this, I would like to know your feeling about it.

After all this circus (which I can't take anymore and after a few years in the fandom) I can't stand Caitríona anymore. I swear I try, I swear I try to get excited about her projects. I swear I try to understand her reasons, her anger, her antipathy towards us all these years. For a long time I managed to suppress this sad feeling I feel for her, but now it screams. I can not anymore.

On the other hand, I still support Sam, even more than I should, because he, along with her, plays the main role in the narrative and is not a saint. I think these feelings would be the signal to leave the ship. I no longer admire her, I no longer miss her, at least on social media, I no longer even want to see her face.

I feel bad for feeling this way, I don't know what to do. Have you ever felt like that? And before you start offending me, I'll tell you: I'm not anti, only or whatever. I am someone who paid a lot of attention to this narrative and ended up hurt, very hurt by them, by her specially…

Dear Feel Bad Anon,

I was just about to go to bed after a very, very long and dense day, but your question stopped me in my tracks. Story of my life, really: that banging on the dorm's door at midnight ('it's vile X, we just broke up, help') - ah, the memories. So, I will not let you down.

First of all, thank you for this ask. It is a genuine one, I know it. It takes a lot of honesty to write it down without cackle, hysteria and the everlasting 'they owe me' refrain (no, they don't owe anybody anything, because, Anon, do you owe anybody anything when you are that much in love? I am sure you don't give a hoot about Aunt Y and Neighbor Z, Anon, and fuck them and their curiosity, eh?). And, my goodness, you really do sound exhausted, here.

Take a good look at this pic I took in Mandalay (see post below) of a Yama Zatdaw (Ramayana) puppet show:

All these public ten years are summed up in here: the puppeteers (TPTB), the puppets (S&C) and the convenient prop ( T) in the middle.

Where are the private ten years? I could think of this Amarapura pic, taken the day after the puppet show:

And that is ok, Anon. It's them. Their lives. Their love. We are just peepers through a keyhole, in here: let's try and do it gracefully.

You don't like C anymore? S couldn't give a damn about how you feel, Anon, and forgive me if I sound brutal. He loves her and he already did the unthinkable for her. C does give a damn about you, however. Not because she cares about you, but because she probably thinks your intelligence and your questioning endanger her narrative and put at risk all the negotiated perks. This is why she thought intelligent to bark at you and publicly insult you: by a simple zealot reflex, her part of the bargain. It has nothing to do with her private truth. You are disappointed by a puppet, not the real C. Or, using this time Plato's Allegory of the Cave, you are mad at the silhouettes reflected on the walls of that cave, not at the people whose reflections you see - those people are outside the cave.

Get out of that mental cave, Anon. Stop racking your brains off trying to give definitive answers that cannot be honestly given with the amount of information we have. Stop obsessing about a visibly curated social media presence, online times and all this shit - they mean very little, especially at this point in time. Trust your heart and your intuition. Trust your life experience. Trust yourself, not me. All this side of the fandom can offer you is based on our own life paths and street smarts. Do I think it's legit? Of course, otherwise I'd not be here or I'd be a pervert. Do I think that together we'd be a step closer to what really is? Oh, by all means. But you are the only sovereign master of the course, here. You are the only one able to choose between believing or rejecting, staying on deck or jumping ship.

I chose to be interested in the puppeteers, Anon. The paper trail. The minute intricacies. The boring details Mordor does not want to see or doesn't know how to translate in simple English. That is really what keeps me going and that is something I will never publicly trade. The more I look into it, the clearer the picture is. Oh, for sure, I take great pleasure in seeing and discussing the script inconsistencies - don't we all? But to me and as I see it, this is the tip of the iceberg. The bar I set myself for public happenings, statements and all the shit show is very low. It avoids undue disappointment and even allows me to be relaxed about it. Not always. Not a perfect strategy. But it is my way of managing it and so far, it works.

Take at least a day off Tumblr. Think of it as detox. I can guarantee you will see it way clearer. I wish you well, Anon. And I really hope my long, long answer helped at least a little bit.

[infinite-orangepeel]

So consider this… It’s two weeks after the end of S4, Poor Steve is trying to unwind at home as best he can so he’s taken to jerking off regularly and letting himself be as loud as he wants ‘cause who the fuck still lives in Hawkins these days? And then the lights start flickering, the camera does a full 360 sideways and there is a very much alive very red-faced Eddie Munson in the upside-down version of Steve’s house, rapidly flickering the lights and shouting “I CAN HEAR YOU HARRINGTON, GODDAMN IT!”

ANON ! i'm in love with you and kissing you on the forehead for this one. 1) because it made me cackle out loud and i was in need of a good laugh, so thank you my angel 😇 and 2) because i'm now convinced that this has to be a scene in s5 or i'll simply pass away ! too good !!

!! PLEASE READ BELOW BEFORE CLICKING THE READ MORE !!

before we continue and get onto the prompt, this post is very much scandalous/nsft (minors close your eyes and scroll away).

ficlet contains: monsterfucking, breeding, masturbation, accidental voyeurism, kas!eddie/steve harrington, and general filth. if that’s not your thing, no problem, i’d just suggest skipping this one :)

now, i'm imagining eddie's in kind of a clusterfuck, here. he's trapped in the UD. and he's scared out of his mind, hungry, exhausted, drained of all hope, losing it, etc. steve's UD house was the closest place he could find to take shelter after waking up from the whole demobat attack (and let's face it, subconsciously or not, eddie takes comfort in the fact that the house obviously reminds him of steve).

and the first few times he hears steve jerking off, eddie thinks he's genuinely imaging it. because, like, there's just no way steve 'the hair' harrington--former king steve of hawkins high--is making noises that breathy, sinful, and sweet. there's just no way ! what with the high pitched whines, bratty little moans, and out of character babbling about wanting his pussy fucked hard--there's just NO FUCKING WAY.

however, it does do something to eddie's dick (which has grown considerably, btw, since he started transforming into...well...he's not entirely sure what he is anymore, but he's definitely something other than human...he knows that).

his cock aches and throbs obscenely as he tries to drown out steve's cries of pleasure from above.

but he can't help it. eddie really, really can't. he's got it bad. he feels absolutely sick with want. and he's simply overtaken by the glorious sounds of this beautiful boy. newly sensitive ears burning from listening to steve's wet, sloppy, cock fucking into his veiny hand or against the sheets (which eddie can tell he's doing because he can smell the waft of linen and hear the painful drag of skin on fabric).

and the thing is, the more it happens, the more possessive eddie's hind brain gets about steve harrington.

the more he finds himself taking out his own enormous, barbed dick and milking himself over steve's UD bed. closing his eyes as he does so, he imagines mounting the boy, shoving his face into the pillows, taking him from behind and stuffing him full with load after load of cum.

eddie wants steve to carry his babies--even though it's not technically biologically possible (to his knowledge, shhh). he wants to watch his belly bulge and stretch; on the verge of bursting from how huge eddie's cock is inside him. he wants to use steve as his own personal cock warmer, employ the barbs, and lock himself into place. he wants to brush up against steve's untouched prostate relentlessly, draw moan after moan out of him, make steve scream out those sweet sounds just for him. draining ever last ounce of his cum into this perfect boy as he makes him writhe and undulate from the magnitude of his pleasure. pleasure only eddie munson--this new version of himself, enhanced and engorged with desire--can give him.

then the day comes where eddie's convinced he's going to bite his own arm off if he doesn't get his hands on steve soon. steve, who, can't seem to stop jacking off. constantly moaning and whining and crying out eddie's name as he cums so sweetly. never brining another human into the room. always by himself, always touching his cock so carefully. treating it like something delicate, teasing himself, and taking his time.

and eddie's hind brain is growing irritable. he's frigid, desperate, and heart-broken over the fact that he can't protect and serve his human directly. that he can't be the one to give steve comfort. he's constantly growling, rutting against anything that smells even faintly of steve in the UD version of his house, and builds a proper nest for him (despite knowing they're in two separate worlds, he can dream. just in case).

as eddie puts the finishing touches on the nest and groans in satisfaction, he hears steve performing his daily ritual up above. and as usual, he sounds heavenly. eddie can smell the boy's precum, can practically taste his skin, pictures the angelic slide of his measly human hand on that pretty pink cock (it's what he imagines, he's never seen it). he's certain this will finally send his monster over the edge, make him spontaneously combust if he has to hear steve sucking on his own fingers and crying about eddie one more time; so without thinking his hind brain starts flickering all of the lights in steve's house and he shouts:

"“I CAN HEAR YOU HARRINGTON, GODDAMN IT! YOU'RE GOING TO DRIVE ME INSANE! JESUS CHRIST! YOU HAVE TO STOP!"

steve pauses. there are tears in his eyes, a huge smile on his face, and he’s laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world. and god, that's a beautiful sound, too. the sound of his happy chirping human.

"munson? munson, is that really you? oh my god, oh my god! you're alive?" he smells of salty cheeks and lavender; soft and pleasant.

"yeah, it's me," eddie fights to sound normal--doesn't want to accidentally growl and scare him away, "and i've been listening to your 24-hour cum fest for the past three weeks straight. you got something to say for yourself, pretty boy? or just 'oh eddie, oh eddie, right there! feels so good'?" he mimics in a nasaly interpretation of steve’s voice.

steve's laughter rings out through the darkness of the upside down, blows back the tattered curtains on the warped bedroom window, and travels back to eddie's perked ears in a gorgeous tune. sonorous hymn written just for his bleak, forlorn heart. giving it every reason to keep beating.

"okay, okay. quit it. give a guy a damn break," he says, "grief looks different for everyone and mine just happens to look particularly horny when it comes to you."

eddie feels more human than he has in a long time. despite the changes to his body, despite his uncontrollable urges, despite the fucking breeding nest sitting in the corner--steve makes him whole, steve makes him alive, steve makes him feel safe and that's all that matters.

"so you gonna come pick me up from the upside down or what, big boy?" he gazes up at the roof, as if he can actually meet eyes with steve, because maybe--just maybe--some day soon he will, again.

thanks for reading and supporting ! lmk what you think of this one in the comments and feel free to send in a scandalous steddie thought/prompt for me to respond to, of your own.

my inbox is always open and anon asks are more than welcome if that's more comfortable for you :) xoxo !!

oh and if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist at any time for any reason, i'm happy to do so ! just send me a dm or toss it in the comments <3

taglist: @estrellami-1, @disastardly, @ilovecupcakesandtea, @the-redthread, @asbealthgn, @bestofbucky, @vampireinthesun, @carlyv, @shrimply-a-menace, @lordrrascal, @jjoesjonas, @malachitedevil, @anxiouseds

[kairiscorner]

hi hii lovie!! would u mind doing a short blurb of miguel being with a harleyquinnfem!reader? i just rewatched suicide squad and birds of prey and i just think margot’s harley quinn and miguel would be such an iconic pairing given those two have complete different personalities lol, thank you!! hope u hv a good day!

HELLOOOOO !! OMG, ok i just wanna preface this, i am not exactly very well-versed in a lot of DC characters so i'm really sorry if i end up not doing requests for those characters or if the execution is really shitty, BUT THIS ONE IS SOMETHING I'M A LITTLE MORE FAMILIAR WITH AND ONE I WANNA SEE :'DD again, REALLY SORRY IF I DO IT HORRIBLY 😭😭😭but here ya go, i hope you like it anon <:))

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

miguel o'hara x harley quinn!fem!reader

summary: you two agreed not to kill each other, which is easier said than done; but someday, eventually... you'll come to realize that he sees you as more than an extra hand in fighting off tricky villains, that he cares about you more than you'll ever know. word count: 853

right as miguel thought that this would be the end of the line for him as the villain kept him pinned against the ground–about to dissect his innards and skin him like a spider to be taxidermied–he soon heard cackling from far away. he rolled his eyes further into the back of his head in an attempt to roll them weakly out of exhaustion as he groaned in utter defeat.

'great, that pain in the ass knew i was here.' he thought to himself as you came with a bang–quite literally as you blew up a street on your way here and caused 12 cars to crash into each other. "hey you ugly, bowl cut bitch!" she called out to the villain miguel was being pinned down by. you giggled as you jumped up in the air and swung your gigantic mallet at the cybernetic villain and bashed her head in. you licked your lips at the destruction, and the villain–despite looking banged up and having a few sparks flying out of the right side of her head, smirked at you. "that all you got, ya little harlot?" she asked as her grip on miguel's neck tightened, eliciting groans and grunts from her sheer strength.

you giggled as you swung your mallet for show. "now, now, if anyone's gonna choke little miggy 'till he's blue in the face and sobbing and begging for forgiveness, it's gonna be me." you declared as you jumped up again and brought your mallet down to squash her–but the villain aimed at you with their finger guns and shot lasers at you as you were in mid-air. you grinned wider as you contorted yourself in the air to dodge the lasers; you were very flexible and super fast, and miguel knew that very well. the villain didn't give up, however, as she shot at your blind spot, getting you by your feet and causing you to lose balance as you got shot in the knee.

you grunted in pain as you fell down, with the villain laughing as she turned to miguel. you got up and watched as the villain leaned over to kiss miguel, "fucking gross." you muttered as you tried getting up to your feet, when you heard the villain yelp a little as she froze up and loosened her grip around miguel. you giggled as you watched miguel get up and look at you from the corner of his eye. "all yours." he muttered as he helped you up.

"wait," he said as he webbed up the gaping wound in your knee from the shot. "can you walk?" he asked you with a tone of concern in his voice. you didn't answer him as you climbed onto him and whispered in his ear, "toss me." miguel was used to this showy scene, though he hated doing it–out of fear he'd throw you too far. he followed through however and tossed you at the villain, who was recuperating from the paralysis miguel's venom gave her. taking out this villain was like a walk in the park for you as you brought your mallet up and whispered a little, "bye-bye!" as you brought down your vengeance–or just utter desire to hit something right now–upon her with a loud smash!

you skipped over to miguel with a bright smile on your face. "job's done!" you said with a perky voice as miguel rolled his eyes as he looked over at the damage you caused on your way here. "this is, what, four million dollars in property damage?" he asked you sarcastically, to which you giggled and counted on your fingers. "correction, fourteen million dollars!" you said with a giggle as miguel opened a portal and gently took your wrist in his hand as he dragged you along. "hey now! you promised me that next time, we'd go sight-seeing in the universes we're in! how dare you break your promise, miggy?!" you whined as miguel placed his hand under your chin and gave you a stern look.

"when you'd behave." he said as he leaned down a little towards you. "it'll happen if you prove to behave yourself, and this little stunt you pulled off, it calls for a good talking to with you. you'll get what you want from me if you behave, do i make myself clear?" he asked you as you nodded slowly and smiled up at him. "gotcha, miggy." you said in a chipper voice as you walked through the portal, then running back out, but with miguel grabbing you by the collar and dragging you back in. "the things i do for you..." he muttered as he rubbed his eyes. though, weirdly enough... he finds your chaotic way of saving him a little endearing. either you've pissed him off so much that he misses feeling responsible for your mess, or it's that you've had his heart ever since you tried to kill him the first time you two met. ah, well, it doesn't matter now; as long as you're safe, and will get that wound fixed up, he wouldn't have you any other way.

a/n: i love this dynamic WAIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAA also thanks ate @binibinileonara for risque's nickname :> also SHET PARE, i fr was so desperate to see miggy's eyes roll to the back of his skull when the vulture was choking him, like- please.

tags !! @binibinileonara @miguelswifey04 @luvstarrstruck @fiannee @yuridopted0

[lees-chaotic-brain]

It's 🌗 Anon again! I just have a crack (neon) version for Yuji (pink) with #4! (After specific age, you feel a tug to your soulmate.)

Yuji lives in Sendai & Reader lives in Tokyo, so pull is soft.

But after Yuji moves to Tokyo (after eating a finger), the pull is harder. And annoying.

Sometimes when they're far+ but close-, they trip to their direction.

Other times, when they're relatively far- & close+, they either fall on the floor thanks to the force, or accidentally jump two steps forward thanks to the force.

One day, after tripping and nearly falling on their face, they go to the park to relax. But when locked eyes, they're literally thrown at each other and roll down the small hill. (Reader on top and Yuji at bottom after landing.)

P.s. Reader's a jujutsu manager in training, so they meet a lot now.

-🌗 Anon

oh i can already feel my brain running off the rails with this one. i changed the scenario in the ask a little bit, sorry. anyways, i'm literally cackling at my own writing rn. hope you find the half as amusing as i did.

Attractive (Yuji x Reader)

CW: crack fic like idk what i'm on, swearing, reader is a little unhinged like me, characters ages don't make sense just go with it

Event Masterlist | Event Guide | JJK Masterlist | Blog Navigation

When you discovered that you had a soulmate on your sixteenth birthday, you were thrilled. So thrilled in fact, that you didn't stop to think about the repercussions of your soulmate trait being fucking magnetism.

At first, it was fine. A gentle tugging sensation once or twice a day was hardly bothersome. If anything it was comforting.

But a couple weeks after your birthday your soulmate must have moved closer or something, because the once gentle tugs were now a violent force that sent you careening into everything and anything at random moments throughout the day.

After four months of that, it would be an understatement to say that you were sick of randomly being yanked into walls, shoved onto your face, or suddenly stumbling back.

Your friends all did their best to help you to find your soulmate, but seeing as they were jujutsu managers in training and isolated on a small separate part of Tokyo Jujutsu Tech campus, there wasn't much they could do.

You decided to let it be, trusting fate to eventually unite you with your soulmate.

At least that's what you told yourself.

And it would be a lot easier to be content with that if your soulmate wasn't a fucking lunatic.

For reasons unknown to you, your soulmate was constantly changing speeds and directions at a whirlwind pace.

If there was a decent amount of distance between you two, the force wasn't too strong so while you staggered around in different directions for a few minutes during his sporadic bouts of insanity.

But when he was close to you it was a whole different story.

His hyperactive monkey routine would toss you around like a rag doll, sending you careening into walls, ceilings, and any of your good-intending friends trying to catch you or slow you down.

After the twenty third time it happened in one week (yes you counted), you decided enough was enough. You were going to get back at him.

Informing your friends about your revenge plot, you grinned maniacally.

Finally. You were going to give him a taste of his own medicine.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Yuji Itadori had no idea what was going on. Ever since he moved to Tokyo, he had been feeling the tug of his soulmate trait, but it had never been this strong.

Even at it's worst, the force had never been enough to make him more than stumble a little in one direction or another.

SO WHY THE FUCK WAS HE ZIPPING DOWN THE HALLWAY HEADFIRST AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING?!

Screeching like a banshee, he flailed, searching for anything to grab onto.

Woken by the noise, a half-asleep Fushiguro poked his head out into the hallway to see what was happening.

"FUSHIGUROOOOO!"

Yuji shrieked flying towards him.

"HELP MEEEEE."

Blinking, the sleepy raven haired boy rubbed his eyes again.

"It's too early for this."

He mumbled, retreating into his dorm again and closing the door behind him.

"YOU TRAI-"

THUNK.

The loud sound informed the said traitor that the wall at the end of the hallway had successfully stopped Yuji's crazed flight.

Hopefully he didn't break the wall.

Fushiguro thought to himself as he climbed back into bed and closed his eyes.

That would be really annoying.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

A couple more months had passed since your impromptu revenge flight courtesy of your friends cursed technique, and it was time for you class to go meet up with the first year jujutsu students so you could be paired up.

You were so excited to meet the person you were going to be paired up with for the remainder of you high school career, that you didn't notice your soulmate bond going crazy, making you trip even more than usual as you walked to where the two classes had decided to meet.

No, you didn't notice it until you arrived and made eye contact with a certain pink haired boy.

Then the two of you were flying at each other like super-charged magnets, the force of your collision knocking the two of you to the side and down a little nearby hill.

Tumbling down the hill, the two of you screeched and yelped as you bounced over little dips, sharp stones, and each other.

When the two of you finally rolled to a stop, your soulmate lay sprawled on his back with you draped haphazardly over him.

After taking a couple of seconds to catch your breath, you realized the position you were in and rolled off, a slight blush tinting your cheeks.

Groaning, the pink-haired boy sat up next to you rubbing his neck.

You made eye contact and he beamed.

"Hi there soulmate! I'm Itadori Yuji! What's your name?"

You told him, still in a state of semi-shock.

"That's a pretty name!"

He said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Say, I never imagined that my soulmate would be this attractive."

And that ladies and gentlemen, is how you met your soulmate and boyfriend.

All it took was months of comedically timed yanking from your bond, and one god-awful pun.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

i'm so sorry for how unhinged this got. if you made it this far, thank you for reading the ridiculous crack fic.

<3 Lee

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Happy weekend! Today I’m replying to things that you wrote regarding this post <3

characharing asked:

you can desensitize Idia of being called by other name by cheering for premo while fucking him. after being called by the name of all the singers, what's being called jamil or riddle as well

True true, but then you would face another possible risk: Idia would think “damn I want to listen to them rn” and just ditch his partner to rewatch his favourite concert of theirs. Sex is great, but Premo is otherworldly. Idia has his priorities.

Anonymous asked:

Ooohh, the boys are seething and heart-broken, there's no better sound than the shattering of fragile young egos! I'm glad that the question was a fun one, these headcanons are all perfect. Cruelty aside, it's really interesting to see how unique their relationhsips are with one another. I was thinking about this ask the other day and I started joking that the reaction for all of them would end up being like "Oh it's ok, one time I called prof. Trein mom, now that's really embarassing!". Also, is Sebek discovering a new kink? Between the "father" thing and his enthusiasm at the idea of breeding Malleus, I'm keeping an eye on him...

Thank you, Anon! I am very happy you liked the headcanons, it was very interesting to think about this one. Yeah, the shattering of fragile young egos and the bitter sweetness of young hearts’ tears… such beauty <3

But imagine calling Trein mom…!! I remember a comic one artist drew about Deuce calling Trey mom, but with prof. Trein it’s even better lol I wouldn’t be surprised if all of them did that at some point.

I feel like Sebek is constantly on the verge of discovering all kinds of kinks lol And the fact that he is very opposed to all of them make him react even stronger: his body would react before his brain even realises what he’s just heard. Not sure if this is going to end up becoming a kink, but he definitely would feel interesting sensations…

eh-nonnie-mouse asked:

Your hc's (the calling lover by diff names specifically) are all so on point. But the ones that had me giggling are freaking Sebek and Malleus. There is just something so shouty about Sebek that makes me wanna put him in a jar and shake him (like Idia but less loving).

Silver calling out for Lilia with Sebek, does the boy even get a chance? Sure if he's with Malleus, that's one thing. But Idia too?! Every man he sticks his dick into has a certain someone else on the brain. It must mess with his ego a little to be compared to someone else he clearly looks up to. (But also what if Lilia was the one who taught him how to top, hm? So his movements just feel too familiar. 😔)

And Malleus, that whole snip of interaction really shouldn't be as funny as I read it to be but I was cackling. You know that boy is calling down thunder and lightning *in the bedroom*. Not even hellfire can save you now. He would get that cold angry look, you know where it's just face calm but internally raging. I feel a little bad for doing this to them but....Sebek calling for Silver. Seven help them all, the betrayal of love (in like a 'I love you enough to assign you as my personal guard and switch in lover' if that makes sense) that Malleus has. Sure, Malleus is only playing with Sebek so if he (Mal) calls for someone else that's not as big as deal. But as a Prince and to be King? Naughty boy, Sebek shouldnt have let his thoughts stray.

Thank you so much for enjoying the post! I think you should put both Sebek and Idia in a jar and shake them together, it would be a joy.

Also you are so right, Sebek really is being haunted by Lilia’s presence no matter who he sleeps with! And Lilia doesn’t even sleep around all that much these days, I guess this is just Sebek’s poor luck…  But I really like the thought of Sebek just moving in a similar manner because of Lilia’s teachings because it really wouldn’t surprise me if Lilia was there for Sebek and Silver’s first time. Or even Sebek and Malleus’ first time, who knows, all those are possible scenarios lol

Oh but Malleus being called Silver… this is very dangerous!

Ironically though? With Malleus, Sebek has this weird immunity that could work in some situations. I think it’s not impossible for Malleus to be so shocked that Sebek of all people called him by some other name, that it would actually be amusing/funny in a weird way, but ONLY in specific situations and ONLY because this is Sebek of all people. And of course, it’s only possible if these two aren’t together-together but are just having sex.

I guess Sebek does have some luck after all..

[ivillpunchyouinthethroat]

Hey your abo fic was awesome to read! I loved how they actually sat down and talked about the consequences of their actions not a lot of fics do that so it was a pleasant surprise. It makes me wonder about everyone’s reactions though Gaz and Price would be happy for them I’d bet but would other members be concerned or try to pull shit with Soap after seeing the neck bite? Please tell me Soap makes it very clear he is not to be messed with?

Have a great day

Hi anon! I'm glad you liked the fic :D

You are very right in that Price and Gaz would be happy for ghoap and in my head Price specifically doesn't give a shit for two reasons. One, he of all ppl knows how fucking deranged ghoap are and that they are basically a perfect match when it comes to their respective levels of unhinged and he's genuinely happy for them. And two, I'm totally a pricegaz shipper, so I like to imagine that in this au pricegaz are also getting preeeetty close >> so Price is also lowkey doing his own fraternizing.

And you know I hadn't thought all that much about other ppl's reaction outside of them but HMMMM now you got me thinking! I bet some other well meaning military omega would look at Soap's neck bite, see Ghost hovering over him no feet apart exercising his scary dog aura, put two and two together and be like OMG SOAP WAS OBVS COERCED BY A SUPERIOR OFFICER. I feel like they'd try to pull Soap to the side and be like ARE YOU OKAY? I CAN HELP YOU and I feel like Soap would be so confused at first but then once he realized what they were talking about he'd just cackle and be like, "thanks for the concern mate, but do you really think anybody could bite me against my will and still be alive?"

However I could definitely see some asshole alpha (hell it could be the guy Soap beat the shit out on the mats) throwing it in Soap's face and trying to humiliate him over it, saying something like "see? you're just an omega after all, of course you'd bend over for an alpha" and Ghost, who is once again hovering no feet apart, is absolutely ready to tear the idiot into pieces but Soap is just like, nah lemme handle this. He kubrick stares the idiot down , beats the shit out of him again, and is like, "go ahead and tell me about how I'm 'just an omega', if this omega can beat the shit out of you, what does that say about you as an alpha?"

Ghost is hovering a few feet apart with a raging hard on, only this time he can actually do something about it :)

[alpydk]

Mermaid, Elf, Goblin?

Hi anon <3 Thank you!

Mermaid- What are you looking forward to? 

Comic con - Stuttgart! - Meeting Tim Downie! I'm not just looking forward to, I am so fucking excited. Going to be around 8 hours of travel to get there across two flights and I fucking hate travelling but I'm going to do it. Got my cool cosplay jacket thing and my wig is on the way too because why the fuck not? You only live once and this will be first time since around 2008 that I've done something for me.

The last thing was dressing up for an industrial festival with my ex, drinking jager, and watching VNV Nation live. I feel like I've not expressed myself like this is years and I am hyped.

Elf- What are you proud of?

Right now, in this very minute, because it might change in an hour, but my writing. I've had so many lovely comments from people about my various fics and all of them have just meant so much. I've been working through printing them out and sticking them in a book for me to flick through and it just brightens my day up.

The Gale-ish notepad in question. (I'm not even a cat person but couldn't resist)

Goblin- What makes you happy? 

I've answered this before somewhere but my kid. This morning she was making some wailing, groaning noise that she does. Think a zombie cow type noise and my partner told her to stop. Everything goes quiet and from behind the door we just hear this very short MAAAH... I cackled.

Other things from her include saying "like my dick" to anything mildly suggestive (Thanks VLDL) and randomly doing duck faces and saying "Hello, darling" whenever Astarion is on my screen.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Okay I’m just… confused… and hurting…

Spoilers alert below.

Is he gone? Like really gone? 🥺 is there still fucking hope?? I don’t mean to sound dramatic, and I know that as an author Gege doesn’t have any responsibility to care about what’s going on in our individual lives.

But bro,

I’m watching a family member suffer with stage 4 cancer rn and Gege pulls this shit and I just want Gojo back man, he’s my comfort character. And the universe gonna make me watch a family member and my comfort character suffer like that??? what the fuck 😭

Thank you for your incredible writing it’s kinda the only thing getting me by atm. Loving Physical Paradox, it’s got me giggling like an idiot and hoping I have some run in with a cute physics dude 🤣

I am so sorry to hear about your family member. Cancer fucking sucks. And I'm so sorry you're having to go through this with them. ❤️ My grandmother died of cancer. And the fifteenth anniversary of her death was the day 236 leaks came out, so it was a rough day for me, as well. I really feel for you, and I hope that you're doing as okay as you can be.

As for if he's gone? I honestly can't tell anymore. They really didn't give any time for us to get through that shit. But I guess they didn't for any of the others, either. Akutami is just sitting there cackling that he's been able to pull so many twists and upset so many people. So fuck him, amirite?

I think that Gojo is a lot of people's comfort character and it feels personal because Akutami fucking knows that. He does. He knows that his fanbase loves Gojo. But he just doesn't care.

Physical Paradox is so fun!! I'm so excited to be writing it, and I'm really enjoying it so far! So I hope you guys are enjoying reading it 😊 I will try to keep it as fluffy as possible to help us all through these trying times 🥹

I hope that things can start to look brighter for you, sweet Anon. Please stay strong 💕

[racfoam]

Omg wjsjeosjekkd, I just read that scene with Harry dreaming about being killed and how she called Voldemort in chapter 37, and I loved everything about it! The descriptions, the dialogue, you have a way with words and is so amazing. Im truly mesmerized by your writing!

Also are you on your one piece era? Who's your favorite, besides Doffy? :3

Anon, that makes me so happy to hear! 🥹

The scene in Ch 37 was one I had sitting for a long time and was really excited to share and it makes me so happy to know you liked it. I'm so proud of it. Thank you for the kind words! ❤️

I am indeed in my One Piece era!

Funny thing is, I started watching One Piece after watching the Live Action like a day after, so it was like 1st September I started my journey. And throughout it, I didn't like get the like hyperfixation.

Until Doflamingo showed up at Punk Hazard and I was like 😳. And then Dressrosa came and I fell in love with this pink feather coat wearing man. I love men who dress flamboyantly and who have self-confidence to do so. Makes them so incredibly charming to me. Also, Doflamingo's funny as hell. I cackled for 5 minutes straight to his reaction to Usopp. Are his laughs eerie? Yes. Are his smiles and laughs also cute as fuck? Yes. Yes, they are.

Anon, I didn't just watch Dressrosa. No, no, no no. I lived and BREATHED Dressrosa. I watched 57 episodes within 8 days. That was in February. I finished the arc within 2 weeks because I couldn't stop watching. Funny thing, I watched the entrance into Dressrosa on Valentine's Day. Entering the country of love and passion on Valentine's Day? Coincidence? I think not. It would be hilarious if the day actually was in universe Valentine's Day. Imagine getting your ass beat by a flip flop-wearing feral 19-year-old midget who calls you Mingo (that nickname is so fckn cute) who is fighting you because a girl bought him lunch... all on Valentine's Day. I'd never go out in public again. I felt bad for Doffy a bit. Ten years of work, destroyed in one single day because a stupid girl bought this rubber moron food. Anyway, I love Doffy so much, he's my husband 🩷😊 DRESSROSA FOREVAH!

I have now watched Ep 999 and have stopped watching cus I'm waiting for my Discord friends to catch up, so I'm taking a big break now.

Oh, fav chars! Man, there's so many. If I had to like pick besides Doffy, it'd be Luffy. He's so loveable, so funny, so cute, and I love that his design is very ordinary, with black hair and eyes, unlike the other protags who all have crazy colour schemes like purple hair or purple eyes or other vibrant colours. Luffy was genuinely a breath of fresh air to me. He... especially his sad moments/low points really hit hard with me, mostly because I've never seen emotions and the psychological toll and how they feel portrayed so well in fiction. Not only with Luffy, but especially with adult characters, too.

Luffy is my baby boy, he must be protected.

Other fav chars are: Sanji, Chopper, Jimbei, Law (he must be protected too, I was a sobbing mess after his backstory. I relate to Adult Law regarding personality, haha), my fire boy Ace 🔥, Robin, Shanks, Mihawk, Katakuri my donut boy 🍩, and Rosinante 💙.

For the Donquixote Pirates members I really liked Gladius. He was so cute as a spiky blowfish. Reminded me of a hedgehog, too.

Also, Fujitora! He and Coby are the only Marines I like and respect.

I feel flattered this is now called my One Piece Era. Makes it sound epic. Heck yeah, I'm in my One Piece Era! Yeaaaah!

[lestappenforever]

Oooh, what a glorious way to reward myself after a long day!

Even though it‘s half past one at night where I live I just had to stay up a little longer to read your newest masterpiece after finishing up research for today. And holy, it was so worth it, I was alternating between smiling, giggling, aww-ing and laughing out loud the entire time - if anyone heard me they‘d probably assume I‘d fully lost my mind, oops.

But once again, kudos to you and your writing. I love the way you write Lestappen together and I adore how you approach the other drivers too, especially Lando (though I‘ll admit, I have a huge soft spot for that papaya boy). Also - and I don‘t know if you did it on purpose - I loved the part where you implied Austrian to be its own language, that made my Austrian heart quite happy (we‘re not know-off Germans, thank you very much)

I‘d been looking forward to reading your fic all day, you‘re getting me through my nightmare uni project, so thank you! Maybe I‘ll keep up this method and only allow myself to read one work of yours every day if I‘ve been productive, I reckon that could make me finish the essay in record time. Don‘t be surprised if I pop up in your asks more often in the next few days then!

All the love and talk again soon, M 🧡

P.S.: If you have a specific one of your fics you want to recommend to me as motivation for tomorrow, I’d love to hear it!

M anon, you have no idea how happy it made me to see this ask. 🧡

I'm so happy you weren't disappointed by the fic, and @f1writingbyme and I are so honored we could trigger those reactions in you with our words. That's exactly what we were hoping for when we were writing it.

Writing the other drivers is so much fun, and I personally love seeing the way Ilse portrays the drivers she writes. Every time she told me she had written a part for someone, I got so excited, and her parts had me cackling like a maniac so many times. And Austrian is its own language, and therefore it definitely should be implied.

The fact that you want to use my fics as a reward when you've been productive warms my heart so much. 🥹 And I'd be happy to recommend some for you, but I would need to know what kind of vibe you're going for first. Angsty? Fluffy? Silly as fuck?

I hope you're having a wonderful day, M anon. 💕

[ratcatcher0325]

Alexander I think if ACTUALLY WATCH THE FUCKING MUSICAL H A M I L T O N you out of ALL people would appreciate it.

The main character remindS me A LOT OF YOU. LIKE A CARBON COPY BUT IN HUMAN PROPORTIONS IN TERMS OF HEIGHT.

Just after reading the ask , ask Natalie if you could watch it with her on disney plus and tell me what you think.

Sincerely

ANON

To the mini laywer who will someday change the world...

My god, Anon! It would seem there are incredibly strong feelings surrounding this musical.

That nasally man with the absurdly small ponytail reminds you of me? We look nothing alike! I'm not sure yet wether to be insulted or flattered. I'd like to hope the quality of my singing doesn't sound quite so much like my nose is pinched. But I suppose it's unfair of me to develop judgments without watching it, hm?

You're really going to insist that I suffer through three hours of Natalie scream-singing along to some absurd musical performance about historical figures from two hundred-odd years ago? You realize I have a finite life span and that those three hours could be spent doing something I actually like? Oh... Oh no. Look what you've done Anon...

Natalie, stop it! Stop grinning at me like that. (She's discovered your ask, you see). You've planted the seed. There's no going back now. I'm going to end up watching this thing aren't I? Dear god, what have I ever done to be tested in this way??? Oh, she's reaching for me to pluck me off the desk.... I'm doomed, Anon doomed!

[Three Hours Later...]

Hello again... I... I have now watched Hamilton. I suppose... it was a passable piece of entertainment. I admit to seeing some parallels between we two Alexanders. The music wasn't all bad. Not a total waste of time, at least...

Oh my god! Nope, I'm taking this over. Sorry, little man! Come here, into the shirt pocket you go. Oh, he's so pissed off at me right now... Hey, stop kicking and screaming, you're okay. If you're not gonna tell them the truth, I will. Anon, he's not being honest with you at all. He LOVED IT. He absolutely LOVED IT. You should have seen the little grin on his face after the first five minutes. He sat in my lap, clutching my fingers and taking in every second, his little blue eyes as wide as could be. He bounced to the rhythms, he cackled at the jokes... Anon, he wept like a little baby. He cried during Satisfied, he cried during History Has its Eyes on You, he cried during Hurricane, he cried during Burn, he cried at the end. Anon, I'm telling you, this was the best thing you could have ever suggested. He's head over heels. I can't believe I never thought to show it to him, before, but you're right, it's like the perfect story for him to appreciate. I have this feeling someone is going to be listening to the cast recording on repeat in the coming days. Thank you for pushing him out of his comfort zone!

I... I've been put back down before the phone again and... I will not waste my time confirming nor denying these accusations. Such self-preservation tactics are beneath me. Excuse me while I hunt about Natalie's cluttered desk for one of her bluetooth headphones for a completely unrelated to this conversation reason.

Your Obedient Servant....

Er, wait, no.

Yours Truly,

Alexander

[plothooksinc]

for the writing ask meme, have you answered either of these?

🎬 If a movie or show were based on your fic, which fic would you choose and who would you fancast?

Do you outline your fic or plan as you go?

Hello anon! I'm sorry for the long delay-- I got into a protracted fight with insomnia (I stayed awake for 24 hours, managed to sleep for one and staggered around shrieking muuurderrrr??? for a while) so now that I am mostly well rested I have come to answer your ask \o/

🎬 If a movie or show were based on your fic, which fic would you choose and who would you fancast?

...I can really answer only the first part of this, because I'm elitist scum who will turn my nose up at the idea of live action anything for my animated fandoms, lmao. Particularly with TMNT, who are 99% not human anyway in terms of cast. So I'd be like "get me their original VAs pls and thank" and leave it at that.

But! For a movie or show, I'm going to deviate from my norm of late and say The Zaibatsu Project. Much as my love my teetles, NRFTW takes place over six days and is paced in such a way it probably wouldn't work well in film (a few days of quiet followed by multiple chapters of everyone screaming and on fire, uhhh) and Underdark definitely works much better in print, given that most of it takes place in complete darkness. Legacy would work if I ever finished it, as would the teasers, but let's not use fics in potentia, haaaa.

The Zaibatsu Project isn't finished either, but there's a lot more meat to it than my other unfinisheds and stands a better chance of being finished first, and it's... honestly the fic I've spent time considering whether I should rip it down, file the serial numbers off, and write it as original fic because the story works so well regardless. I decided against it in the end (largely because I knew I'd never finish it) but it's a Rurouni Kenshin AU in which all the 19th century characters are all in fact in 2029 cyberpunk!Japan, which was all very futuristic when I started writing it (and I sweat more and more as we approach this date), in which Battousai is in fact a Black ICE program and separate from Kenshin (his programmer, deeply ashamed of this fact and in semi-retirement), and him being called back to duty by the Zaibatsu he's contracted to in order to both update his programming and chase down the only survivor of the Battousai program, who just happens to be one unconventional hacker (Kaoru) desperately trying to find her missing brother (Yahiko) who unwittingly signed his life away to the Zaibatsu in question, whoops. Cue a lot of cat and mouse-ing, car chases, riots, street fights, politicking, underhanded dealing, corporate warfare, and currently Kaoru running for her life from Kenshin who really would like her to stop running so he can protect her already gdit get back here-- It's fun :D And it would make for a great movie/show, so that's my pick. In lieu of fancasting, I would ask instead for it to be animated by Studio Trigger to keep with the theme of things.

Do you outline your fic or plan as you go?

I have answered this one before, but just briefly again: sometimes! I don't bother with short fics or fics that are meant to be short and suddenly turn into super long ones. A lot of the time if I outline, it's more a guidepost and me sitting down to go "okay, here is a scene I want to write, can I actually come up with a plot to get to that point?" - if i can dotpoint my way to the end, that's often the last time I look at the outline and off I go and will... probably mostly stick to the outline but do casually change things as ideas occur (or my beta enables me with horrendous cackling, not looking at you @shadowbends). (NRFTW, for example, has held reasonably well to the outline, but Donnie said "fuck you I do what I want" and went off script some time ago and honestly, good for him, you go you ex-spaghetti monster, see where that gets you! Like all writers, clearly I have no control over the characters. None. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Thank you for the ask! And again, sorry for the delay ♥

[enchantechante]

Hey Tae and hey last anon! This gonna be long :

Anon...THOSE ARE NOT YOUR PEOPLE!!!PERIODT!!!

Sis,when I was reading your message,I saw soooo much of my OLD self in it(years 2012-2021 to be exact).I WAS that woman who was ALWAYS there for EVERYONE no matter how I was treated in return.I would ALWAYS come up with excuses when it came to the treatment of being treated as if I WASN'T important in other people's lives. I would be like...oh,well MAYBE they are busy and have a lot going on? Because that's life and all of us go through shit even if it's not mentioned. But man,listen! I was really playing BOO BOO THE FOOL! Two of my EX bestfriends got away with soooo much because I knew they really were going through so I let things slide then they started skating on a bih! Lol. I heard the same excuses... I got a lot going on,I forgot to call you back man you know my memory bad,I thought you probably didn't want to talk,I know you hate talking on the phone,I was depressed,you could've called me,I lost your number etc.

Like,say what? I was there for both of them when I barely had and was struggling to get on my feet!Even when one of them was locked up(he was the most ungrateful and in the end thought he was better than me, picture that,lol) and the others mom passed/he was jobless and without a home,I WAS THERE TEN TOES DOWN because that's what real friends do!

I provided money,years worth of time, support and inspiring them daily to not lose their shit!I tried to get my guys to eat better etc.

While I was working two sometimes three jobs six days a week,mom battling cancer,uncle ill, catching cabs to and from because my car broke down, depressed for real, struggling with being bipolar,hair coming out ,skin breaking out etc.

Meanwhile,they would NEVER text or call me to check and see how I was,my mom,NOT NOTHING!

I felt worthless and was considering suicide!I had no one to turn to other than talking to God and my sweet mama.

I woke up one morning and said fuck it!Fuck my so called friends and fuck my mindset!I told myself it was time to make a change in EVERY part of my life and I did!

I deleted their numbers and blocked them on social media including a couple others.I focused on myself for seven months.I lost weight(85 lbs),got my money up, credit right,fell in love with ME and met amazing people.I even got started with real estate.When I think about that I laugh.WHY?Because one of my EX friends is the one who made it seem like I wouldn't make it in real estate because he knew more than me and at the time,had more connections than I did.GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE I'M JUST GETTING STARTED AND ABOUT TO PURCHASE LAND! 😩🤭😂

It's crazy how life will turn around in a positive way once you release what's not meant for you and also FOCUS ON YOU!

What's also even more crazy is more than likely you will cross paths with those SAME people who treated you like shit and took you for granted once you really get your life together!

And when that happens,still SAY FUCK EM!Ain't no spinning the block on a REAL good person who IS genuine and did EVERYTHING out of love and NEVER counted them favors!You'll see what I mean baby girl!Release everyone who makes it seem as if you're too hard to love or show up for!Nothing is wrong with you!I wish you the best with EVERYTHING!and once again,FUCK ANYBODY WHO DON'T POUR INTO YOU LIKE YOU DO THEM. Leave them where they had you fucked up at boo! PERIDOT!!! 😉

me, cackling through the mssg 😂:

yall are hilarious!

And thank you for this thoughtful response.

Youve caught on to something really empowering & often hard to see at times like this.

Our love and care are powerful.

Pouring out for ppl who only take (regardless of the reason) will drain you. Not just during those interactions, but draining you of energy that could make a real difference in your own life.

Creating boundaries w ppl, like blocking them on social media, closes that drain.

We decide how long we suffer w bad friends. We need our own friendship deeply, before anyone else.

i love yall sm

[rivangel]

Hi, I'm the anon that asked anlian-aishang about headcanons for asexual Levi with an asexual male s/o and they said you'd be happy to take the ask if I were okay with it. I absolutely am! Please take the idea and run to your heart's content about it. Thank you!

hi!! yes!!! i’m asexual and a male reader advocate trans-masc, so i was frothing at the mouth to take ur ask.

since these seem jus like general hcs?? and asexuality is on a spectrum, i’m gonna run with it! This turned out to be 99% levi’s pov though😅 sorry

okay. no matter how it happens that you find out both you and Levi are asexual, it’s the sweetest shit ever.

//internalized acephobia, fear&insecurity, internal pressure to have sex

wc: ~2.1k

To say Levi was kind of hesitant to even consider the thought of a relationship would be an understatement. He rationalized it to himself a lot since he met you.

Growing up Underground in his teen years, sex sold there - it was a commodity, a market. plenty of people spoke of it, plenty of people had it, but personally he didn’t see the appeal at all. At the sound of any discussion he usually shut the guilty party up.

It all sounded like two animals flopping around, naked, in their own fluids until they didn’t feel any need to anymore. He understood the pleasure, and the potential importance for those who were into that kind of thing, but it wasn’t for him.

And Levi didn’t beat himself up about it or anything. He knew the way he was raised was abnormal, along with his skillset and his morals, so what was one more thing?

He didn’t know anything about sexuality, or preferences, and he didn’t really care to before it became really fucking important to - because of his feelings for you.

In the first place… what did he know about attraction? Survival was all he knew; he lived it, breathed it, and killed for it as well. That mattered a helluva lot more in his mind than the way his palms broke into a sweat when he was pulled into a conversation with you, how he felt his chest utterly cramp with butterflies, and how—even more than normal—he had no fucking clue how to talk to you. Like a tough stain, thoughts of you clung to his mind, and refused to let go.

Thoughts of another man, nonetheless. That wasn’t the option many other men went with, he knew that, but the thing was, he had known many more men than women in his life (that being the state of things in his past life he had led back Underground). He’d never had the privilege to just… be around someone who wasn’t like him, someone who wasn’t hardened by violence, or killed everything he touched, or had any ulterior motives but to fight for freedom with the Scouts. You had a good heart. And you were so handsome.

Anyway, Levi took a liking to you. Before he could come to terms with that in of itself, he had to, in the end, begrudgingly, torturously, ask Hange what the fuck was wrong with himself.

After laughing at him for a good five minutes straight, so hard they ended up rolling around on the floor, Levi gave them a good kick in the side and only then did they actually give him a real answer.

“Oh my go-o-o-od!” they cackled. Their eyeglasses were cloudy from tears. “Oh, Levi. Levi, Levi, Levi…”

There might as well have been steam pouring out of his ears. “What? Out with it already.”

They grinned up at him, eyes glossy. “You like somebody! Damn, I never thought I’d see the day! …Question is if you’re nice enough that she likes you back.”

His eyes hardened. He wasn’t impressed.

Hange knowing was probably (certainly) the worst-case scenario. They took just about every chance they could to make fun of him just enough for no one to figure out what they actually meant—just that it made Captain Levi blush… before he made them shut up about it, obviously. Being ignorant to who it was exactly didn’t affect them in the least.

Seeing you, while Hange was within earshot?? Socializing at all was a lost-cause. He had to remove himself from the situation immediately, because no matter how you sliced it, he would make a fool of himself every time.

Because of this, you eventually got the idea in your mind that you had pissed Levi off in some way. You were very close longtime comrades (had to be for him to grow attached), but at an unknown point, he began to pull away, acting strangely around you. You never spent time together, just the two of you, anymore.

The truth came out eventually, like pulling teeth. Levi was the most awkward person imaginable about it. He just kept fucking stammering. It was impossible to so much as look at you in the eye.

But… he really did like you. He liked everything about you, actually. Being a stranger to so much as a nice, casual touch, he tensed the first time you laid your head on his shoulder. Affection seemed to burn him.

But he would gladly make you tea every day of the week, or adjust your belts, or buy you something you’d been eyeing for a while. His attention to detail was impeccable. He came to be willing to do damn near anything for you, but it took him some getting used to it to slide up next to you in private, and maybe even take your hand, if that was okay.

Levi actually came to really, really fucking love you. Every chance he got (without getting caught), his eyes were on you. He worried endlessly outside the Walls, especially since it was impossible to protect you all the time. The idea of loss, loss of something this special, scared him as much as it made him terrifyingly determined to fight within an inch of his life to protect you.

Showing even an inkling of just how deep Levi’s feelings ran in public, he didn’t like. He was thankful you understood—every dirty, horrible facet about him, you understood.

Your boundaries as well, he followed to a tee. You cared for him without any conditions, and he did too, even though it was like pulling teeth to show you how much.

Then, inevitably… it all circled back to sex again. Another reason Levi didn’t entertain the idea of a relationship was sex, a seemingly staple part of what a relationship even was. It didn’t exist without that.

By that time, Levi was fairly confident about what you two shared, and just how much it meant to you—but this was different. There wasn’t anything he genuinely faced up against and thought, I can’t handle this.

But he dreaded the idea of sex.

But he also had to admit to himself that he didn’t want his life without you beside him.

Mixing the two was like fire and water. It was a fact—even though most of what he heard had no strings attached—that it was bound to happen sooner or later. No denying it.

This wasn’t one of those things he could shove deep down inside as another stain on who he was, either; it was intricately woven with you.

However: it had strangely never been an issue before, not really. Sometimes you would stay over in his larger officers’ quarters, but laying cuddled up in bed together never led to anything. Awkwardness sat in the air sometimes, but only when it got more physical. Like that odd look on your face after exchanging more than a few kisses.

He enjoyed kissing you, how your lips felt softer than velvet moving against his, and that way—when dressed in his uniform leathers—you would make a grab for his waist belts to make the kiss last longer.

But he found himself uncomfortable by the idea of moving further than that. The signs suggested that you felt similarly, but if he was wrong, and you were waiting for him to make the next move—it wasn’t going to happen. Even if he desired it, he needed 100% guarantee before he made any drastic moves.

He was perfectly content the way things were, in fact he really didn’t want it any other way.

The pressure came to a boiling point though, as all things do.

Levi is by no means a pushover. He can’t be intimidated. However, it’s a different situation when he wants to make the most important man in his life happy. And stubbornly, he genuinely believes he can brave through anything without giving a second thought to the repercussions when it came to himself.

Evening, after supper, he had creeped up behind you in the dim sitting room, which was only illuminated by the fireplace. Because you were trying to act sneaky by taking a sip of his tea while he was out of the room, he wrapped his arms around your waist, and asked over your shoulder, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“Nothing at all,” you sing-songed, tucking the cup more protectively against your chest. He scoffed with a small kiss to your cheek, and it escalated from there.

It didn’t actually trouble him to go and make another cup, but then you were turning around in his arms and snaking your fingers through his undercut. Then, with the cup hastily, firmly put aside, you sighed just as heavily and took his lips again.

Your hands tripping around his waist, you seemed in a pretty big hurry to kiss him, so he grappled for your shoulders and tried to match your pace.

Even though it was a fucked up way to feel, Levi could admit in his own mind, to put himself through this kind of grief—as long as it meant your happiness he wouldn’t have thought twice.

He wasn’t unattracted to you, it was the act itself. It was the act that made dread fill his stomach, his heart twist, and instinctively inch away.

If this was what you wanted—

Eyes shining, he dodged your lips and started smacking warm kisses down your jaw, as tense as a wooden board. You clung to him. But, it appeared you noticed that at the same time he noticed that how heavily you were breathing wasn’t normal.

Of course he stopped—immediately, and did what he had been itching to do since you first licked into his mouth, which was pull away.

Face hot, he stared at that glass-like look on your face, and realized it matched his own. He didn’t know how to fix this.

Your hold on the fabric of his shirt slackened the slightest bit. “You don’t want to?” you whispered.

Even before the words were out he had looked away, lost. Part of him wanted to correct this right now in case it was nerves, or some confusion, it could always be that; the other part just wanted to go brew you a new cup of tea.

“Levi…?” you said, voice twinged by hope. “You don’t want this.”

His jaw tightened, gaze unmoving with the floor. “I’m supposed to.”

You sighed, like letting bad air out of a balloon. “I—I’m supposed to, too.”

Struck, he looked back at your wide eyes.

“Did you ever want to?” you asked.

He frowned, deeply. “Don’t tell me you slobbered all over me just now because you felt like doing me a favor.”

It was your turn to turn worried. “Don’t tell me you did the same thing.”

Finally, he took a more even step back. It was time to face the facts it seemed—that there was something deeply broken about him that let him feel the way he did for you, but without the rest of the requirements. Sexual desire.

So: forever thankful (though confused at first) was Levi that he read you right. You were relieved, and you were a lot smarter than him.

You felt the exact way he did—that sex was going to be inevitable at some point, how the anxiety and insecurity ate at you—which is why you started what you did.

You knew so much more than him :( The sharp pang of skepticism he felt was stubborn to leave as you explained how this wasn’t a bad way to feel. There was no mindbreaking trauma that completely erased the reason for his feelings from his mind.

It was normal. it wasn’t common, but he wasn’t broken. He was okay.

Missed feelings? Silent resentment? Some other alternative that would have been relationship-ending? No longer applied. No longer anything.

God. Just, the weight of the whole entire world slipped off his shoulders.

And you know what?—Nothing after that changed for anything but the better. Both of you had reached a new closeness in an invisible, underlying way that was clear to just the both of you.

Sleeping in the same bed together was actually made even better without any unspoken expectations. Sometimes, in the dark, when Levi couldn’t sleep and you were determined to stay up with him (much to his chagrin), whenever you blinked at each other, it felt like you spoke the perfect morse code than neither of you knew, but both of you understood.

Did Hange still make kissy noises when you and Levi did any conceivable thing together? Yes, obviously. And let them.

You didn’t need sex to share a healthy, thriving connection. And neither of you wanted it any other way.

| levi masterlist | main masterlist |

🏷️: @ackermandick | @midtwenties-angst | @sckerman | @halloweenmedic | @katty | @jayteacups | @notgoodforlife | @peace-for-levi | @chaotic-nick | @b-o-n-e-daddy | @levisbrat25 | @poisonpeche | + link to sign up