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muwapsturniolo · 4 months ago

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Nipple or Tip ( • )( • ) C. Sturniolo

"I also saw one of those weird makeup hacks-"

⟢ funny shit tbh. nipples and tips of dick are mentioned as well as balls. chris being unhinged in ulta, reader done with his bs but also down with his bs.

dividers by the one and only rose toy @bernardsbendystraws

You were a beauty lover, it was well known by everyone in your life. When you were a kid, you were constantly in your moms makeup bag, messing up her high-priced lipsticks and eyeshadows on a daily basis.

As you got older, that love for makeup stayed.

You had a whole beauty room in your two-bedroom apartment. You had the vanity, the box lights as well as ring lights, and drawers on top of drawers filled with makeup you may not even have a chance to touch.

Chris knew of your love for makeup, he has been in you're beauty room one too many times to think otherwise. He never saw it as too much because he knew it was your way of expressing yourself - he was never the one to hate on expression.

So here he was, driving you to the place he should just invest in at this point.

Ulta.

You spent so much time there, that the workers recognize you. You have the credit card, you've racked up points, and you memorized the aisles. This was basically your third home, the first being your own and the second being Chris's.

"Alright, what do you need today?"

You proceed to go through your list as you walk inside the bright store, the sound of Billie's "Birds of a Feather" playing over the speakers. The song distracts him for a moment, but he comes back to reality hearing you say foundation.

"Wait, didn't you just get a new foundation?"

"Well...Yes, but I need another one!" He gives you a look as the two of you walk over to Wyn Beauty. "Technically, you don't need another one. You have about forty of them, but who am I to complain considering you're paying?"

It's comical to him the way you stop in your tracks, your eyes widening in disbelief. "What do you mean I'm paying? It's your turn to pay!"

Chris chuckles to himself, fixing the beanie on his head. "I'm just pulling your clit."

"Chris please stop fuckin' talking to me. That's not even how the damn saying goes!"

He giggles like a schoolboy and kisses your shoulder, motioning to the bright green packaging in front of you. "Go ahead and pick out your millionth foundation."

And so you do, you pick out a new foundation...and concealer, primer, setting spray, bronzer, lip gloss, and lipstick.

"Ok, now a lip liner." Your words spark Chris's interest, his mind going back to a specific video he saw not too long ago. The two of you start walking over to NYX, and he decides to fill you in on the content he consumed.

"So like, I saw this makeup video on tik- Why are you getting makeup videos on TikTok? What girl are you sending them to?"

"I'm getting them because of you, dumbass. You're the only girl that actually puts up with me, why would I talk to another one?" You snicker to yourself knowing he's right.

He's too in love with you to go find someone else.

"Anyway, like I was saying. I saw this video on TikTok where this girl was trying out these makeup hacks or secrets, whatever it's called. So she said the best way to match your lip liner is to match it to your nipples! Crazy shit, but it has me thinking, what if you matched it to the tip of my dick?"

All you could do was stare at him in silence.

"You being deadass?"

He shrugs before answering you, a smirk that shows he's up to no good making its way onto his face. "I mean, I think it would look nice on you. A nice pinky red....It's up your alley anyway considering you have a blush named 'orgasm' and a mascara called 'better than sex' ."

"Didn't I tell you to stop talking to me?" He groans and pulls you closer, his hands settling right on top of your ass. "Come on it would be funny! I will literally give you my card and let you roam in TJ Maxx and I will take you to Chili's!''

"You had me at TJ Maxx."

You whip your phone out, thanking yourself for buying a privacy screen, and begin scrolling through your privet photo albums to find a picture of Chris's dick.

"Wait, you should match one to your nipples too. Then we can compare which one looks better."

He could be so childish at times, but you were the exact same.

The two of you stand in the aisle, holding up different shades of pink and brown to your phone. Eventually, you two settle on "Rose" and "Nutmeg", the two colors being the closest you could get.

Soon the two of you are back in the car and Chris is urging you to try on both lip liners, refusing to drive until he sees them on you. You first try on the brown shade, lining your lips with ease. It was a pretty color, simple and not unusual considering you always wore brown lipliner.

You turn to Chris, asking him what he thinks. "Sexy as usual. You know I like it when you do the brown ones." You smile at his flattering words, giving him a quick peck on the lips before wiping the lip liner off. You unravel the pink liner and swipe it on, rubbing your lips together so it blends out.

"So what do we think? Nipple or tip?"

You see the way his eyes dart across your face, analyzing everything about you.

"Both look good, you know you can make everything look good. It's what I love about you." You find your cheeks getting warm, never getting used to the way he makes you feel so good, even on days when you look like a bum.

"Come on, I promised to let you roam in TJ Maxx." He puts the car in reverse and begins driving towards the retail store. The drive is quiet for the most part, nothing but music and the occasional small talk. As soon as the two of you make it to TJ Maxx, Chris turns to you before getting out of the car.

"You know, I also saw one of those weird makeup hacks where this girl put her foundation on with her boyfriend's balls."

"This the last time imma tell you to shut up talkin' to me!"

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo au #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fluff #sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x you #chris girl #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo fluff

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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 month ago

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Apple faces criminal sanctions for defying App Store antitrust order

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me at NEW ZEALAND'S UNITY BOOKS in AUCKLAND TODAY (May 2), and in WELLINGTON TOMORROW (May 3). More tour dates (Pittsburgh, PDX, London, Manchester) here.

Epic, makers of the wildly popular Fortnite video-game, have waged a one-company war against the "app tax" – the 15-30% rake that the mobile duopoly of Apple/Google take out of every penny we spend inside of apps.

Epic's own digital practices are hardly spotless: just this year, the company was caught cheating players – many of them children – with deceptive practices and had to refund over $72m:

https://www.ftc.gov/enforcement/refunds/fortnite-refunds

But in this fight, Epic is on the side of the angels. The 30% that Apple/Google sucks out of the mobile economy is a brutal tax, and not just on app makers. Patreon performers recently raised a stink when the company announced that it would be clawing back 30% of the money pledged by their supporters – that 30% surcharge is passed straight through to Apple/Google:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/8/12/24218629/patreon-membership-ios-30-percent-apple-tax

From independent news outlets to crafters selling their work out of small storefronts, all the way up to massive entertainment services like Disney Plus and Fortnite, the mobile cartel takes 30% out of every dollar, a racket they maintain with onerous rules that ban apps from using their own payment processors, or even from encouraging users to click a link that brings them to a web-based payment screen.

30% is a gigantic markup on payment processing. It's ten times the going rate for payments in the USA, already one of the most expensive places in the world to transfer money from one party to another. In the EU, payment processing typically runs 1%…or less.

But crafters, Patreon podcasters and small-town newspapers are in no position to fight Google and Apple. Instead, we get Epic, a multi-billion-dollar company that's gone to the mattresses to fight these multi-trillion-dollar companies. Personally, I dote on billionaire-on-trillionaire violence.

Epic was wildly successful. It mopped up the floor with Google, securing an especially punitive award from a judge who was furious that Google had destroyed evidence:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/12/im-feeling-lucky/#hugger-mugger

Epic also won against Apple, though not as thoroughly as it had with Google, because Apple had the commonsense not to get up to the kind of shenanigans that make federal judges very, very mad. In the Google case, the court found that Google had acted as a monopolist and ordered it to open up the payment system in Google Play, a direct blow to the Android app tax.

In the Apple case, the judge did not find that Google had acted as a monopolist, but did rule that the App Store's payment processing racket violated the law, and ordered Apple to end its own app tax:

https://techcrunch.com/2025/04/30/epic-games-just-scored-a-major-win-against-apple/

That's where things get gnarly. Apple is addicted to corrupt sources of income – like the tens of billions it illegally receives every year in bribes from Google make it the default search:

https://apnews.com/article/google-antitrust-search-engine-verdict-apple-319a61f20fb11510097845a30abaefd8

And it really, really loves the app tax. When the EU ordered Apple to allow third-party app stores (as a way of killing the app tax), the company cooked up a malicious compliance plan that was comically corrupt:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/06/spoil-the-bunch/#dma

So, the mere fact that a federal judge had ordered Apple to open up its app store to competing payment processors was not going convince Apple to actually do it. Instead, Apple cooked up a set of rules for third-party payment processing that would make it more costly to use someone else's payments, piling up a mountain of junk fees and using scare screens and other deceptive warnings to discourage users from making payments through a rival system:

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/judge-rules-apple-executive-lied

That's the kind of thing that is apt to make a federal judge angry – and, as noted, angry federal judges can make life very hard for tech monopolists, a lesson Google learned when it destroyed key evidence in its Epic case. But Apple didn't just flout the court order – they lied about it to cover it up, and Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers is furious. She held that Alex Roman, Apple's Vice-President of Finance, "outright lied under oath," and she has raised the possibility of criminal contempt penalties for Apple:

https://regmedia.co.uk/2025/05/01/pacer_epic_vs_apple_injunction_judgement.pdf

The judge further wrote:

This is an injunction, not a negotiation. There are no do-overs once a party willfully disregards a court order. Time is of the essence. The Court will not tolerate further delays. As previously ordered, Apple will not impede competition. The Court enjoins Apple from implementing its new anticompetitive acts to avoid compliance with the Injunction. Effective immediately Apple will no longer impede developers’ ability to communicate with users nor will they levy or impose a new commission on off-app purchases

In other words, any junk fees, any impediments to opening up third party payments, will be switfly and harshly dealt with. As of right now developers can start to build third-party payments into their apps and Apple cannot block them. It's the end of the app tax, a source of about $100b/year for Apple:

https://www.theregister.com/2025/05/01/apple_epic_lies_possible_crime/

The world is on fire and everything is terrible, but we are also living through the most consequential season in the history of the war on corporate tech power. Google has been convicted three times of being a monopolist and is almost certainly going to have to sell off Chrome, most of its ad-tech stack, and possibly Android. Meta just put up a pathetic showing in an equally serious antitrust case that could see it forced to sell off Instagram and Whatsapp:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/04/11/it-is-better-to-buy/#than-to-compete

Countries around the world have passed big, sweeping, muscular antitrust laws specifically aimed at smashing corporate tech power, like the EU's Digital Markets Act and Digital Services Act:

https://www.eff.org/pages/adoption-dsadma-notre-analyse

Most importantly, all of this is happening from the bottom up. There is no dark money campaign to fuck up the tech companies. The politicians and enforcers who are taking on Big Tech are being shoved from behind by billions of everyday people who are furious and refuse to take it any longer:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/04/10/solidarity-forever-2/#oligarchism

I am deeply grateful for the public servants who have championed this cause, but I also know that these people are the effect of our movement, not the cause. When Kier Starmer fires Britain's brilliant and effective top competition enforcer and replaces him with the former head of Amazon UK, that does nothing to tamp down the political outrage that Britons feel towards America's tech giants:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/22/autocrats-of-trade/#dingo-babysitter

All over the world, countries that passed IP laws to protect US tech interests in exchange for tariff-free access to US markets are grappling with the end of free trade with America. This represents a generational opportunity to pass laws that enable local technologists to jailbreak US tech exports and liberate their people from the extractive practices of Big Tech forever:

https://archive.is/CiBIz

There is nothing harder to stop than an idea whose time has come to pass.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/05/01/its-not-the-crime/#its-the-coverup

Image: Alex Popovkin, Bahia, Brazil from Brazil (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Annelid_worm,_Atlantic_forest,_northern_littoral_of_Bahia,_Brazil_%2816107326533%29.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Hubertl (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2015-03-04_Elstar_%28apple%29_starting_putrefying_IMG_9761_bis_9772.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

#pluralistic #apple #antitrust #monopolism #app stores #app tax #iphone #ios #perjury #junk fees #epic #fortnite #big tech #petard #patreon

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tthoroughfare · 5 months ago

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garden daisy (part 2) // ellie williams

*･゜ﾟ･* summary: ellie makes a new friend, and you feel all weird about it.

*･゜ﾟ･* pairing: modern!ellie x reader

*･゜ﾟ･* content: sfw

*･゜ﾟ･* length: 1.6k

this is part two of this series! find part one here

okay so i feel like the way i've organized this series is kind of confusing as it started as a random blurb... technically part one is this blurb however the real story starts in the xmas fic! the blurb just kind of exists floating around somewhere before the events of that and sets up the dynamic. call it part 0.5 i guess. also i'm so sorry if ur name is haley it was genuinely the first name i thought of hahaha

after christmas, once you’re all settled back into life at college, ellie gets a new job. it’s just a few shifts a week at a music store, but she seems to be enjoying it. you’re happy for her; it’s nice to see her getting out of the apartment more, doing something that allows her to be in her element.

but then she starts mentioning a girl she works with. like, a lot.

“dude, look at what haley sent me today, i was dying.”

“haley had, like, the coolest shirt on at work.”

“oh my god, so i found out haley likes comics, too.”

at first, it doesn’t really bother you. then, it’s a case of you trying not to let it bother you. why even should it? she’s allowed to make new friends; her life doesn’t revolve around you.

still, you don’t like the way your chest starts to twist every time she gets mentioned, every time you see ellie smiling at her phone. you can hear them on facetime frequently through the thin walls of your apartment, and you more often than not end up shoving your headphones in to drown it out.

they start spending time together outside of work, too. she mentions that they’re going to see an exhibit together on a shared day off, and it takes everything for you to look up from your laptop, give her a tight smile and utter, “cool.”

you can tell she’s a bit dispirited by your reaction, like she’s debating saying something. she leaves it, though, just nodding once and pursing her lips before walking away. you kick yourself for it immediately — wishing you’d tried harder to appear enthusiastic for her. you’re worried it could be the seed of a wedge being driven.

it’s not like she’s completely neglected your friendship. you live together. you see her every day. she still gently knocks at your ajar door, poking her head around and asking if you want to watch a movie with her. you make dinner together on friday nights, something you’d done since you moved out of the dorms and got a semi-decent place.

you’re just so used to it being the two of you. sure, you both have other friends, but you’re best friends. you can’t help but feel a little uneasy all of a sudden someone new is making their way up the ladder, ellie not having quite as much time for you anymore.

at least, that’s what you tell yourself the reason is. you know the real one.

you eventually meet the esteemed haley when she comes over to hang out, and to your petty dismay she well and truly lives up to the boasting. you’ve seen pictures of her (as in, you found her on instagram and stalked her at two in the morning), but she’s even prettier in person. she’s sweet, too, giving you a hug and saying how great it is to finally meet you. ellie talks about you all the time, apparently.

the evening’s spent with the tv on, a few drinks sipped. you’re on one side of the couch, ellie on the other, new friend in the middle. you hate how genuinely likeable she is; she goes out of her way to speak to you, asking you questions about yourself and chatting jovially when you find common ground. she’s cool, smart, witty — it’s impossible not to compare yourself, and feel subpar. like old news.

and you wish you weren’t, but you’re reading into every little thing. the way the two of them easily bounce off of each other’s jokes, the way you can see even where you’re from how ellie’s eyes light up when she looks at her. deciding three’s a crowd and you’re just hurting your own feelings, you call it pretty early.

when you stand after finishing your drink and announce that you’re going to bed, you note the way that ellie’s face drops. “oh… really?”

you scrunch your nose, trying to sound untroubled. “yeah, i’m kinda tired, so…”

“m’kay,” she replies, chewing slightly at the inside of her cheek. she knows you better than that. since you first met, you’ve never been ‘kinda tired’ by nine.

after a pause and a quick look back and forth between the two of you, haley gives you a smile, reiterating her earlier statement. “well, it was so nice to meet you, anyway.”

you return it, nodding. your eyes flit to ellie for a split-second. “yeah, you too. see you both later.”

with that, you place your glass in the sink across the room and head off down the hall.

you change and get ready for bed, although the plan was never to sleep. you’re nestled under a blanket, lights dim and a candle burning as you keep your eyes trained on the bullshit stream of youtube videos you’d put on. you’re not really paying attention, mind well and truly elsewhere; simultaneously feeling sorry for yourself, and like the most petty, mean person in the world.

you feel pathetic for wishing ellie’s new friend wasn’t so easy to get along with. she came off as a nice person, and not in a sickly, fabricated way. you could understand how she’d easily tugged ellie out of her shell. a part of yourself had been secretly hoping she was irritating, or bitchy, or weird towards you — you just wanted something to latch onto, something to validate all the uncomfortable emotions that had been swirling ever since she became prominent.

but there was nothing. now all you’re left with is a weird bitterness towards a perfectly normal, sweet girl, her only crime being fetching up a childish possessiveness within you.

you don’t even understand why you’re like this over her in particular; ellie was always an introvert, but it wasn’t like she was a complete recluse. she’d had a serious girlfriend in high school, seen a couple of girls your first year of college, and you don’t remember feeling anywhere near how you are right now. you just guessed you didn’t have as much understanding of how you looked at her back then, combined with the domesticity of now having your own real place luring you into a warped way of thinking.

you hear haley leave around an hour and a half after you’d taken yourself to bed, followed by ellie shuffling around the kitchen space. the tap runs and there are a few clinks as she washes then places the three glasses to dry, hitting the lights off. her room’s further down the hall from yours, and she hesitates as she’s making her way there.

a few light taps sound from the other side of the door. “you asleep?”

“… no,” you call out softly, watching as it cracks open and ellie picks her way in. wordlessly, she plops herself onto the bed next to you, arm behind her head. you shift away a little, offering her more room.

“what’re you watching?”

“uh…” grabbing the remote, you pause the video for a beat so the title shows. you’re not even sure; you’d just selected the first you saw, then let the rest autoplay. “… ‘six most disturbing forest encounters caught on camera’.”

she chuckles. “spooky.”

“eh… they’re all fake.” you look up at her, smiling a little.

“could’ve fooled me.”

“i’m sure,” you laugh lightly, feeling the need to turn away when she goes to meet your eyes.

it’s quiet for a while, but you can sense she wants to say something. it’s not like one of the times she waltzes into your room simply to hang out, sit at the side of one another peacefully.

“you okay?” she eventually asks gently, turning her head to regard you. you don’t meet it.

“yeah, i’m fine.”

“you sure? ‘cause… i don’t know. you seem a little…”

“i’m all good.” glancing up, you offer an unconvincing, flickery smile. “don’t worry.”

“… okay.”

you can tell it offers no comfort, but she doesn’t push it. just settles further into the bed, scratching at her chin.

her eyes dart from the tv screen to the wall, then back to you. “haley’s cool, right? guessed you guys would get along.”

“yeah, she seems nice.”

she’s really not being subtle; but then again, neither are you. you’d been perfectly friendly while you were all together, but the way you’d disappeared coupled with your increasingly half-hearted responses whenever she was brought up pointed elsewhere.

“seriously, what’s up?” she turns onto her side to face you, resting her head on her arm. “i don’t like this.”

you roll your eyes, sighing as you turn, mirroring her. “it’s stupid.”

“what’s stupid?”

your mind flashes with a million ways you can get an overview of your feelings out, without having to tell her the root cause. “i don’t know, i’m just… like, used to it being… y’know, me and you.”

she pulls a face, letting out a fond scoff and furrowing her brow. “what do you mean?”

a tiny groan sounds from your throat, fingertips rubbing at your eye. “i’m just being stupid. fuckin’ embarrassing.”

laughing quietly again, she narrows her eyes a little. “what, are you, like… jealous?”

“no, i just… i don’t know. ignore me.” you’re trying to ignore the way you can feel your cheeks heat up when she says that word. you’d known all along that’s what you were, but being confronted with it is a whole other sensation entirely.

she doesn’t say anything for a moment, just keeps a small smirk on her face and looks down. “that is stupid.”

“right. thanks.”

“no, like…” subconsciously shuffling closer, her leg brushes yours. she quickly moves it. “dude, i can have other friends, but no-one’s gonna be you.”

you blink, thrown by her sincerity. you’d half-expected her to poke a little fun, call you a dumbass. she continues, your eyes meeting hers as she settles her head into the palm of her hand. “you’re always gonna be my best friend.”

yeah, i know, you think. that’s the problem.

#me at the wlw trope of laying in bed facing each other store #tlou #tlou2 #ellie williams #ellie williams fluff #ellie x reader #ellie x you #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams tlou2 #wlw fic #lesbian fic #ellie #modern!ellie williams #modern!ellie #my writing #abbysleftbicepp #kaykeryyy

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whenlilyfallsinlove · 11 months ago

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i know you

eli moskowitz x reader... (y/n) is basically jess in gilmore girls.. ive been obsessed with cobra kai lately

"what the fuck are you doing?"

"excuse me?"

you don't think you have ever felt as angry as you have done today. finding out that one of your best friends, that you just so happened to be in love with, had changed completely as a person was one thing. finding out he tried to beat up the third member of your little trio was another.

so you did what you had to, you always felt the need to go out the way to protect eli and demetri. you didn't think it would end up being from each other.

approximately half an hour earlier:

"(y/n)." demetri's face flooded your screen, as you were sprawled across your bed. calls were usually a common thing between the two of you now eli was distant.

"demetri.. hey! you okay?" you respond, taking note of his face.

"no." he says, in a deadpan tone.

"umm why? what happened?"

"eli happened."

of course. ever since your best friend since age 6 joined cobra kai, he had felt like a whole new person. he even gave himself a new name for goodness sake! you and demetri both knew it wasn't the real him. you'd known him for too long. that being said - this new persona didn't stop him avoiding you both.

"what did.. what did he do?" you look into your phone camera, worry evident on your face.

"he tried to beat me up! i was at the mall with sam and robby.. and i went to the comic book store.. and he was there. wasn't happy with my yelp review and tried to fight me."

"what the hell." your eyes widen slightly. rage soaring through your veins. what was he playing at? putting on a front to show off to his friends. why didn't he remember who his real friends were?

"i know.. i just can't believe he would do it. we were friends with him!"

"i know.. are you sure you're okay?" you ask, concerned.

"i'm fine.. robby and sam helped fight them off it just.. caught me by surprise."

"i bet it did.. look i'll ring you later, okay? i just need to take care of something."

demetri knew you all too well.

"don't do something you'll regret." he says.

"i won't."

now here you were, shouting at someone that was supposed to be your best friend. the boy you have had a crush on for so many years.

"don't 'excuse me'. you know what you did." you scoff, walking closer to him. you had decided to wait until he had finished karate to talk, it seemed appropriate.

"oh yeah? and what's that?" eli looked at you, his tone cocky.

"you tried to beat up demetri! what are you doing?" you question, looking at him in disgust.

"he shouldn't have put up that yelp review." he scowls.

"oh who cares about a stupid review! he's supposed to be one of your best friends." you say, angrily.

"not anymore. i'm not friends with pussies."

"what the hell is your problem? what.. you gonna ditch us just because we don't want to beat people up like you do?" your voice raises slightly, causing eli's scowl to falter.

"I told you, i'm not friends with weak people." he says.

"are you kidding? seriously! who was the one that used to fight your bullies in elementary? me! who was your first friend? demetri!"

"we're not kids anymore. people change. friendships change. it's not my fault you guys aren't strong enough for this." eli says, looking away from you, his demeanour crumbling.

"you're not like that either. you're putting on an act!" you exclaim.

"an act? the fuck? this is me now, accept it." he shouts.

"what's going on with you?!"

"nothing.. im fine." he says, his eyes searching your face.

"i know you. i know you better than anyone! this isn't you."

"what do you mean?"

"you know what i mean! starting fights with demetri.. ditching us for those idiots.. being so violent. why are you being so violent?" you ask, looking him in the eye.

the pleading in your voice makes his face soften slightly. you always had a way of getting to him. i mean, of course you did, he'd always had a massive crush on you.

"just tell me what's up with you! i care about you. why are you being like this?" you beg.

eli struggles to get his words out. he wanted to reach out, he wanted to hug you. he wanted to go back to yours and watch doctor who with you and demetri. but he coudln't.

"you don't.. you don't know me anymore." he forces out.

your face falls and eli swears he could feel his heart break.

"fine. don't expect me to wait for you anymore." and with that you turn and walk away, a small part of you hoping he stops you.

he doesn't.

he wants to, he really does. but that's not him anymore.

he watches you walking off with a pained expression, knowing hes fucked up. he just can't bring himself to stop you.

#x reader #fanfic #angst #cobra kai #cobra kai x reader #cobra kai x you #cobra kai x y/n #eli moskowitz #eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz x you #eli moskowitz x y/n #hawk #hawk x reader

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saiilorstars · 23 days ago

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Speak up now...or Else...

Bucky Barnes x gf!reader

Story Summary: Bucky breaks his girlfriend's coffee maker and decides to make it everyone else's problem.

Taglist: @arrthurpendragon @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @gloryekaterina @lenonizi @averyhotchner @foxesandmagic @kmc1989 @caplanbuckybarnes

i'm keeping the usual taglist but since this is y/n/reader work, please let me know if you'd like to be removed from this specific taglist!!

It was a nice morning, one like usual. You woke up thanks to Bucky so subtly moving around the room getting ready for the day.

"I don't understand how you were ever the winter soldier when you move like that," you muttered grumpily. In your opinion, he was so loud.

Bucky chuckled and called you out on your grumpiness. "Can I make it up with some coffee?"

"You thought you weren't?" you retorted, tossing the covers to the side and getting out of bed. "Oh, no, no, James. This is going to cost you. Coffee — now."

Bucky gave you a mock salute and left the room to get started on his apology. Like it was his fault that you were the world's lightest sleeper.

A fly could wake you up.

~0~

You emerged from the bedroom about 5 minutes later and headed straight to the kitchen. You were already envisioning your sweet morning coffee, so when you smelled burning coffee, you knew something else was going to happen.

You entered the kitchen to see your favorite coffee maker steaming and with a wide hole on the side…like someone had punched through it.

And there was one guilty Bucky Barnes standing on the other side of the isle.

"…you broke my coffee maker?"

"Well, 'broke' is a…strong word…" Bucky cleared his throat awkwardly.

Your eyes narrowed on your boyfriend. "You broke my coffee maker."

"I did not 'break it', I…gently tapped it…"

"You gently tapped a hole into it?"

"Maybe not so gently," Bucky mumbled.

"JAMES—"

Bucky sprang into action and dashed around the isle. "Okay, okay, okay!" He took you away from the messy sight. "Why don't we go out and buy a new one, hm? Any one you want, I swear."

"That was my favorite…" you pouted.

"I know, I know," he nodded, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Do you want to go to the store right now? We can make a day out of it, I'll make this morning up to you, I swear."

"Yeah, alright," you shrugged. At this point, nothing else could go wrong.

Bucky sent you back to the room to get changed so you could leave. He promised you that by the time you returned, the mess would be gone. You warned him that it better be.

There is literally nothing else that could go wrong now, Barnes, he thought to himself. He seemed to be screwing things up spectacularly today and it wasn't even 10am yet.

He started hearing the chattering of the others as they neared the kitchen. He groaned internally. He was not ready to deal with the cavalry yet. If they found out he managed to break your coffee maker, they would never let him live it down.

No way I'm adding that to my day, he thought.

Walker was the first one in and stopped in his tracks at the sight of the coffee maker. "Woah, what the hell happened?"

Yelena came in next and said the same thing. "Somebody's in trouble…" she smirked, already assuming it was Bucky.

Ava, Alexei and Bob trailed in behind and each one made comical 'yikes' expressions. Everyone knew that you without coffee was already bad, but a you without a coffee maker might as well be an Avengers-level threat.

"So…who broke it?" Bucky's words stopped everyone's murmurs and earned him identical stunned faces.

"What?" Yelena said, losing her confidence in the moment. "It wasn't…it wasn't you?"

"Do I look dumb enough to break my girlfriend's coffee maker?" Bucky retorted, flat-faced.

It made Yelena second-guess herself, and the others as well.

"So, who the hell broke it?"

There was a heavy tension in the air, no one daring to admit to the fault.

"I did," said Bob suddenly, "I broke—"

"No, no you didn't," Bucky cut him off. He was holding himself so straight that nobody could even think he was playing them all. "Walker?"

"What?" frowned the man. "Don't look at me. Look at Yelena."

"What?" Yelena said in return. "I didn't break it!"

"Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?"

Yelena blinked incredulously at Walker. "Uuh, because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Suspicious!"

"If it matters - probably not - but Ava was the last one to use it," Alexei mumbled to Bucky not so much in a 'mumble'.

Ava reacted fast at the accusation. "Liar! I don't even drink that crap!"

"Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee maker earlier?"

"Ok, ok! Let's not fight!" Bob tried speaking over everyone's shouts. "I broke it, let me pay for it, Bucky!"

"No, Bob, we can't do that," Bucky said, half smiling. It was getting harder not to start laughing. "So who broke it? Y/N's going to be here any minute now and she's going to want some answers."

"Bucky, Ava's been awfully quiet…" Alexei said yet again and made Ava snap.

"Oh, really!?" She turned and started to argue with him, which then prompted the rest to start bickering with each other.

And that's how you found them when you walked into the kitchen. Bucky was watching the chaos with a massive smirk on his face, clearly very proud of himself.

"Woah, woah, woah, what the hell is going on!?" you shouted over all of them.

"We're trying to figure out who the hell broke your damn coffee maker," Walker said, then immediately reiterated his innocence in the matter.

"Who broke my coffee maker?" you said, confused, then glanced at Bucky. "We don't know who broke it?"

"Nope," he replied, then looked away to cover up his laugh.

I'm gonna kill this guy, you thought and swallowed your own laughter.

"I said it was me," Bob cut in unknowingly, "I broke it, so just let me try and get a new one. There's no need to fight."

"No, Bob, it wasn't you," you said softly, "But maybe you and I can go shopping for another one. You're the only with sensible taste in this whole building."

And suddenly Bucky was done having his own fun. "What?" he looked at you. "I thought you and I—"

"We can train later, sweetheart," you said, like that had been their whole plan for the day. "Bob and I have some shopping to do. I'll see you later, okay? Bob?"

Bob looked around the group and their annoyed faces. Shopping was definitely the easier way to go. "Yup!" He dashed after you since you had already taken the lead out.

"And clean that mess up!" you shouted at the rest.

Unbelievable, Bucky shook his head.

He looked at the remaining members after a moment. "You heard her. Clean this mess up." He then too left the kitchen, ignoring the bickering that continued without him.

~0~

It was later at night when Bucky saw you again and it was only because neither you nor Bob could figure out how to set up the new coffee maker. It was like watching children playing with tools.

"You found a new one," he mused at the larger coffee maker now taking space up on the counter.

"Well I had to considering somebody broke my last one," you remarked.

"I still say it's me," Bob said, very much sounding honest.

"No, Bob, it wasn't you," you said, crossing your arms. "It was my dumbass boyfriend."

"What?" Bob's eyes widened and immediately flickered to Bucky. "You broke it?"

A smirk spread across Bucky's face. "You gonna tell, Bob?"

"Uh, no," Bob shook his head instantly. "N-no, I would — I would never! But then…why did you make it seem like someone else did it? Ava almost beat up Alexei."

"I was bored," answered Bucky, "and annoyed."

"Evil," you rolled your eyes playfully. "We could have had a dead team on our hands all because you wanted to have some fun."

"And I had a lot of fun," Bucky was happy to report. "Bob, why don't you head out and I'll take over here?"

Bob agreed only because he didn't want to get blamed for something too. When he was gone, you took the opportunity to 'reprimand' Bucky for being so childish.

"You gotta admit it was funny, though," Bucky said after the whole lecture. And as much as you wanted to remain serious, the image of the whole team arguing with each other was too funny to pass on.

"You can't do that again…" you warned him through giggles.

"Not with the coffee maker, of course," Bucky said, "It's brand new now." You whacked his arm. "We could do it with something else! It's funny!"

You leaned up and pressed a kiss on his cheek. "You're supposed to be mature here. You are the oldest."

"And therefore with the authority to continue," Bucky shrugged.

"Get to work, Bucky!" You tossed him the coffee maker's manual. "I want coffee tomorrow morning!"

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bludragongal · 24 days ago

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Hi, quick question - I discovered you due to an ADHD comic you made that spoke to me.

I absolutely loved your style on first sight, and I'd love to see more of your work.

Do you happen to sell a book compiling these kind of comics? I know you're moving stores currently (I was halfway through getting a copy of "Daughter Of The Lillies" when I noticed), but I didn't see anything like that in what I can still find online.

You know, the thought never occurred to me to do so?

Let me see just how much material I have today, to figure out how feasible that is. I'm not sure if I have enough content to put a pdf together, but I'm going to find out. Hopefully there might be something you can grab in a week or so.

(Please be advised that I haven't made that many autobio comics about ADHD, but I'm sure if you stick around you'll see more.)

Thank you so much! Folks like you are really keeping me going right now. <3

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skyguytoast · 1 month ago

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BOYFRIEND!HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN 🎀 NON-SEXUAL INTIMATE HEADCANONS

WARNINGS: none, just cuteness! WORDS: +800 A/N: hello dear people, my tiktok is full of Hayden, literally one video after another, not that i'm complaining, quite the opposite, the more the better 🎀 so, i decided to let my imagination run wild with some really cozy and cute headcanons of Hayden being a boyfriend. i hope you like it, comments, likes and reblogs make my day 💕💕My inbox is always open for requests and ideas 💌🧸 DIVIDERS BY @cafekitsune

Boyfriend! Hayden always holds your hand. It's never a question. Whether you’re weaving through a grocery store, walking the dog, or arriving at a premiere, he instinctively reaches for you. His larger hand envelopes yours, thumb gently tracing along your knuckles. To him, it’s more than just affection—it’s a quiet way of saying “you’re with me.” Boyfriend! Hayden makes a point of not smoking near you because he knows it bothers you. If he does step out for one, he walks comically far away—like across the yard or half a block down. You roll your eyes, tug him back by the sleeve. “I’m not made of glass,” you say. He grins, still positioning himself downwind, always putting you first without needing to be asked. Boyfriend! Hayden gets up earlier just to make you coffee—real, fresh, hot coffee. If it’s a stressful day ahead, he swaps it for tea, gently setting it on your nightstand with a quiet, “Try this today. It’s better for your nerves.” You grumble, half-awake, but sip it anyway. He’s already back in the kitchen, packing you a snack, pretending he’s not quietly fussing over you. Boyfriend! Hayden who always buys drinks you like, because he knows you’ll take his anyway. “I got us orange juice,” he says with a subtle smirk, holding out a glass as you eye his like a thief caught red-handed. He always anticipates you—and he kind of loves that you steal from him. Boyfriend! Hayden gives the kind of hugs that reset your nervous system. Full-body, grounding hugs—arms around your waist, chin on your shoulder, slow breath syncing with yours. Whether you’re anxious, excited, or tired, his hugs say “I’ve got you.” Sometimes he kneels beside your chair just to wrap you up, like nothing else matters more. Boyfriend! Hayden lives for quiet days in bed. Blankets, takeout, a half-watched documentary humming in the background. You’ll lie tangled up for hours, limbs draped over each other, swapping theories about the universe one minute, then debating what kind of pasta to make the next. There’s no pressure to be “on.” Just the warmth of being together. Boyfriend! Hayden loves when you link arms with him during walks—especially at the farmers market. His hand rests lightly on yours, fingers curling in as you browse produce, plan lunch, or just stroll aimlessly. In crowded places, it keeps you both grounded—like a quiet anchor in the noise. Boyfriend! Hayden melts when you rest your head on his shoulder, burying your nose into his neck. His instinct is to lean into you, even if his neck ends up sore from the angle. “Worth it,” he mutters with a little smile, every time. Because nothing feels safer than your weight pressed gently into him.

Boyfriend! Hayden has a habit of falling asleep on your chest like it’s his personal pillow. The rhythm of your heartbeat lulls him down like a lullaby. Sometimes his arm drapes over your waist, his breath warm against your collarbone. You stroke his hair, feeling him completely let go in your presence. Boyfriend! Hayden has a habit of playing with your fingers absentmindedly. During car rides, movie nights, even in silence, you’ll feel his thumb brushing along your knuckles or tracing shapes against your palm. It’s subtle, grounding, a gentle little way of staying connected. Boyfriend! Hayden always warms your side of the bed if you’re late getting in. He slides over to your half, pulls the blanket up high, and makes sure it's toasty when you finally crawl in. “Perfect timing,” he’ll say, shuffling back to his side. “It’s preheated.” Boyfriend! Hayden hums while cooking. Not full-on singing, just soft little hums under his breath as he stirs something on the stove. When you walk into the kitchen and wrap your arms around his back, he leans into you without missing a beat, still humming. Boyfriend! Hayden always notices when you’re overstimulated in public. Whether it’s flashing lights, loud noise, or too many people, he’ll gently squeeze your hand and guide you somewhere quieter without making a big deal out of it. His presence is like a calm barrier between you and the chaos. Boyfriend! Hayden keeps one of your hair ties on his wrist. You didn’t ask him to, but he always seems to have it when you need it—whether you're cooking, cleaning, or caught in the wind. “Here,” he says, holding it out like a secret weapon. “Told you I’d remember.” Boyfriend! Hayden always leaves his sweatshirts where you can find them—draped over the couch, folded at the foot of the bed, or tossed casually in your chair. He knows you love stealing them. He wants you to. Seeing you wrapped in his oversized hoodie, sleeves dangling past your hands, makes something soft flicker in his chest. It’s not just about the comfort—it’s the quiet thrill of knowing his scent is clinging to your skin, that you chose his clothes like a second hug. Boyfriend! Hayden kisses your forehead like it’s second nature. Not just when you’re tired or sad—but in the kitchen while you’re cooking, in line at the store, or when you’re laughing so hard you can’t breathe. His lips linger a little longer than necessary, like he’s silently saying, you’re my favorite person. Boyfriend! Hayden writes little notes when he knows you’re having a hard week. Slipped into your bag, stuck on the mirror, tucked into your notebook. Simple things like “You’ve got this,” or “Proud of you.” Once, you found a doodle of small lightsabers crossed and hearts above them. You kept that one in your wallet. Boyfriend! Hayden slow dances with you in the living room at night, even if there’s no music. You’ll be cleaning up dinner or getting ready for bed when he suddenly pulls you close, one hand on your waist, the other lacing through your fingers. “Just for a minute,” he says with a soft smile. You end up swaying for five. Boyfriend! Hayden kisses your hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world. When you’re talking, when you’re reading, even when you’re arguing—he’ll lift your hand and brush his lips against it. It’s old-fashioned, yes, but it melts you every time. It’s the way he does it—gentle, grounding, like he��s reminding himself you’re real. Boyfriend! Hayden calls you “my lovely girl” in that quiet, low voice that always makes your heart skip. He doesn’t overuse it—just drops it in when he’s introducing you, or when he’s looking at you across the room like he still can’t believe you’re his. And the way he says it? Like he means it. Like there’s no one else it could ever be.

TAGLIST: @ihearthayden @anakinstwinklebunny @sometimescharlolette @awhhayden @dessxoxsworld @throughparisallthroughrome

#hayden christensen #hayden christensen x reader #hayden christensen x you #hayden christensen x female reader #hayden christensen headcanons #hayden christensen headcanon #hayden christensen fanfiction #hayden christensen fluff

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teddypines · 7 months ago

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Drop off's and pick up's

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Summary: A week of drop off's and pick up's for the younger's Wayne.

Y/N is around 5-6 years old.

Note: This wrote itself when i was supposed to work on a different story. Small disclaimer, i have no idea how the American school system works or the one in the DC comic's, so it's all based on the school system i know. And yes i did use a picture of a 1967 Chevy Impala, because there were no fun ones of the batmobile.

Art/picture is from Pinterest, credits go to whoever made it.

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Drop off and pick up were never the same in the Wayne household. Sometimes Bruce would do it, other times Alfred did it, or Dick and Jason picked the others up. Even Cas or Barbara did it every once in a while. They tried putting routine into it to help Y/N, but that didn’t really work with all the mixed scedules and unexpected events. The older ones made sure they got to school by themselves, but Y/N was still a bit too young for that. So the Drop off and pick up struggle continued,

Monday

Y/N waited by the door with her bag, Alfred packed her lunch and a snack, and Fleepy. Her brothers, besides Damian, had already left for school but she was still waiting on Bruce. “Daddy!! Hurry!!” She yelled as Bruce stumbled through the hallway. “Yes, I'm coming, pumpkin, just give daddy a minute.” Bruce answered as he struggled to put on his shoes. He looked at the waiting Y/N and Damian, sighing he quickly takes out the car keys from his pocket. “Here, go and wait in the car, I won't be long.” He instructed them.

Y/N listened and grabbed her jacket before going to the car outside. She unlocked the car and quickly got in. Damian following closely behind her. Putting their seatbelts on when Bruce got there. “Let’s get you two to school.” Bruce smiled at Y/N.

“You'll pick me up too?” Y/N asked, wanting to make sure who to expect at pick up. “Yes, I'll pick you up today.” Bruce answered with a nod. “Yeeey!! Daddy pick up!” Damian just rolled his eyes, but understood Y/N liked to know things before hand, he liked it too.

Tuesday

“It was the heat of the moment. Telling me what my heart meant! The heat of the moment showed in your eyes!” Both Y/N and Jason sang. Jason picked her up from school today, which meant bonding time after. Since Y/N was still a bit too young for Jason’s bike he ‘borrowed’ one of Dick’s cars. Damian went home with a friend from school, so Alfred would pick him up later.

The two of them were just singing as Jason drove them to the best burger place in Gotham. “And now you find yourself in '83. The disco hot spots hold no charm for me. You can concern yourself with bigger things. You catch a pearl and ride the dragon's wings.” Jason sang, looking at Y/N as they stopped in front of a traffic light.

“ 'Cause it's the heat of the moment. The heat of the moment. The heat of the moment showed in your eyes!” Y/N sang back with a big smile on her face. The two of them having so much fun that even Cas and Steph would be jealous of the fun they had.

After burgers the two of them went to the record store and Y/N got to pick out a cd for her collection. She chose ABBA, a bit to Jason’s dislike. He didn't get her love for the Swedish band, wanting her to try and listen to one of his personal favorites, but okay. When they left the record store on their way to the bookstore for some comic's,- Bruce called and ruined their fun a bit, wanting Y/N home in the next 30 minutes. So Jason had no choice and had to take Y/N home, but she didn’t mind, she had fun with her brother and that’s what mattered more to her.

Wednesday

Pick up was a big mess on wednesday. Drop went okay, Bruce brought her and Damian to school with the promise that he would pick her up too, or Dick would be there instead. Damian had to stay longer because he was a grade or two higher then her and he would go home with Tim.

But now here Y/N sat, next to her teacher, at 4 p.m. Her teacher tried to reach someone, but no one answered. Tim and Damian had suddenly disappeared from class too, so that was suspisious. This of course made Y/N upset but it wasn’t like this didn’t happen before. She opened her backpack and pulled out the emergency number and handed it to her teacher. “My uncle Clark, for emergencier.” She explained and went silent again.

Clark was there in no time, but normal human time as to not be suspicious. The teacher didn't need to be more worried then she already was. Clark was a bit worried about Y/N too, so instead of taking her back to Wayne manor he just said ‘Fuck it, sleep over in Kansas.’ And with that Y/N spent the night in Kansas with the Kent’s.

Thursday

Since Y/N spent the night in Kansas with the Kent's, Clark dropped her off at school, making sure to be at the school on time and to not be noticed while flying back and forth. Lois made Y/N lunch for the day, not wanting her to be depended on the teachers or the crappy school lunches. Giving both Y/N and Jon something extra in their lunches to make the little emergency feel more like a special short sleep over.

At pickup Alfred showed up, when Y/N asked what happened he didn’t have a clear answer. Trying to talk around the questions Y/N had and doing his best to distract her for the time being. Just saying everything will be explained at home. Nothing was explained when they got home.

Friday

Shit hit the fan Thursday afternoon so instead of going to school Y/N spent the day in the hospital. Sitting by Bruce’s side as Dick and Alfred tried to take care of everything else. Turned out that Bruce, as Batman, got into a bigger mess than he could handle alone, even with the help of his Robin's. He has two broken ribs, a concussion and a broken arm. All some villain of the week’s fault, they were stronger then expected so everything went tits up. Of course they told the doctors that Bruce had a work related accident. Something about falling down the stairs, because the elevator not working at Wayne Enterprise.

Going home that night was hard since both Damian, Y/N and Tim , not wanting to leave Bruce’s side. Jason and Dick finally got the three home once they fell asleep on Bruce’s hospital bed. It was a tight fit on that hospital bed, bur Bruce would be in discomfort if it ment for his kids to be comfortable and safe. Bruce gave his eldest boy’s a tired smile as they went home, making them promise to at least get Y/N to school on time next week with him not being able to drive. He didn’t want to deal with the angry teachers if Y/N didn’t go again because of him.

<----------------------------------------------------->

That weekend the whole family made sure to go to Bruce and visit him a lot. Sometimes not even leaving or only leaving when one of the nurses told them it was really time to leave their father alone to sleep. They made sure the press didn't know a lot about the accident and that Dick knew what to do for Wayne Enterprise until Bruce got better. The older siblings had a lot on their shoulders, but with the help of Alfred and the Kent family everything went as good as it could get.

Y/N made a promise on sunday to be on her best behavior the next few weeks for drop off and pick up. As long as it was Alfred or Barbara who picked her up at the right time and the right place. So there wouldn’t be any confusion, emergencies or waiting. Making sure to at least visit Bruce 3 times a week in the hospital until he got better.

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euphoria-looney · 5 months ago

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This au makes my eyes watery, good job with the fic author🤩, this I can't help but be unsatisfied with the batfam, like imagine an au where (name) died brutally, like it was their birthday too. Ughhhhh pls author can you make this a fic???

👾🍑Anon

"When our hands grew cold, we just froze up~... I'm closing my eyes right now, I'm rewinding you again." Rewind by Wonder Girls.

(sorry the title is so long. I'm in love with the song.)

So Much More.

Special

Divider creds: @dollywons and @aquazero

“You made it just in time [name]” the salesgirl, Sherry, also business owner of the bakery cheered.

“Sorry, I know you have a date. I'll make this quick.”

The bakery was [name] 's favorite place since they had learned how to drive and even now when they have become famous, they make sure to drop by at least once a month making sure to give lots of cash into this place.

It held significance to them. Their comfort place.

Here they could do any assignments in peace, once when they were so nervous to play a piece at their concert Sherry had allowed them to practice at the cafe, it brought in a bunch of customers, and it gave them an ego boost certainly.

The glass cover that displayed all the sweets, Sherry, who would take in a personal request for cakes, whether that be a marriage cake, a gender reveal cake, or a birthday cake, she would do it.

Today would be a birthday cake.

The birthday person is getting it for themselves.

“Don’t fret that sugarplum. I wanted to stay just to give it to yah’ alrighty, here you go!”

Handing over the cake that was in its plastic-designed box, it would be a surprise what the cake would look like and the flavor would be (f/f) Sherry knew them too well to make any other flavor.

“You didn’t bring anyone with you to keep you safe?”

I shook my head

“I wanted to celebrate it alone, not force my staff to celebrate it with me.” Sherry sighed, shaking her head.

“Well, I stayed behind to give you this cake and also say, happy birthday [name]” Sherry held her warm hands over their cold ones before letting them go.

“Thank you, Sherry.”

“Stay safe, [name]”

“You as well.”

Going on their phone they realized they had to run to the convenience store to grab some milk as they had run out of it the other day, and cake doesn’t taste as good without some milk, what they also didn’t expect was an armed robbery taking place at said grocery store.

It also didn’t help that Joker decided to attack not too far away.

Tonight would be a shit show.

They didn’t know what happened. One second they held their cake with one hand moving it so they could arrange where their grocery would go and the next thing they knew bullets lodged into them.

The cake splattered on the ground, comically, the top was intact with the words.

“Happy Birthday, My Angel!” The top part is designed with frosted flowers. Then at the bottom part another message “The Spectacular [name]’s 23rd Birthday!!!”

‘Damn, Sherry did a good job with this one… it’s so pretty.’ [name] could only think in their head.

“Holy shit, you got them! Hurry, make sure they’re dead, and take the car, it's worth a good couple of bucks, no?” One of the robbers giggled and seemed feminine.

[name] could only stay on the ground feeling a leg kick their body flipping it over.

“Umm, just to be cautious, put a couple more in them.”

Three teens, two boys and one girl no older than 17(?) did said action.

Too bad they didn’t hit any major organs so [name] was left to bleed out, moderately fast, but still conscious.

They at least planned a will, it wasn’t something they imagined would happen.

Profits are split equally among their staff and handing over their business to Astro and Penny to cooperate. And they’re 100% sure nobody would want their dead body. And a bunch of donations to the Bakery, orphanages, shelters, and a personal share to Sherry.

“Hey, what’s with this car, fingerprint to start?!”

“Damn it, come on! Nightwing and Robin are coming over here!”

“I thought the Joker was distracting them!”

"We took too long, idiot! Crap the cops in front of us!”

“Put your hands in the air!”

“Search the area,” Nightwing told Robin.

“I was already doing that.” Robin sassed back.

“Holy shit! [name]?!” Nightwing spotted their body lying there.

“Hey! Hey! Stay with me!” He gently shook them.

“Stop that… you’ll make it worse.” They weakly shoved him, rasping out their words.

“What happened?!” Nightwing was afraid, afraid for his sibling, the one that had left the house 5 years ago, the sibling he’d never hang out with.

“You got to press on the wound to stop the bleeding…” They choked up before spitting out blood. It stuck on their chin, eyes slowly blinking.

They wanted to laugh. Maybe this is what frogs feel like blinking.

“I know that! Stop talking!” He squeezed them tighter, hoping to stop the blood by a bit. The sound and the pain made [name] wince though.

“Shit, I’m sorry, big brother is so sorry for yelling at you, I’m so sorry for everything, just hold on, please just hold on”

[name] was going into a hysterical state at this moment. What are you sorry for? As a vigilante not being able to save a civilian? Or is it the years of neglect?

“Did you find something?” Robin came over, only to be shocked himself.

“[name]-!”

“Don’t just stand there! Call for backup! Someone! Anyone!” Nightwing yelled.

“Don’t worry, I’m right here… I’ve got you.” Nightwing kept muttering to them, holding them close but… god, it wouldn’t stop flowing out.

The blood.

“Hey, Dick?” That caught Nightwing- otherwise your big brother Dick off guard, you knew his identity?

“How-“

“I don’t wanna die…”

He froze suddenly feeling their body shake as their hot tear slipped out of their eye and onto his shoulder.

“Don’t say that, you won’t, I wouldn’t allow that…”

Their sniffles were never-ending as they used whatever strength they had to grip his back.

“I want my mama…” they cried rubbing their head on his shoulder.

Dick could also feel tears well up in his eyes.

This isn’t how he thought he’d meet you again, but did he ever think he was going to meet you again?

He promised after this he’d never leave you alone.

All those years you’d chased after him why didn’t he try to also put in effort?

“… could you do me a favor?” They suddenly asked.

“Anything.” He answered immediately.

“Could you sing me happy birthday’?” They started taking short, shallow breaths.

Dick trembled before looking over to see the nicely decorated cake.

“Happy birthday to you~” he starts

“Happy birth-“ their hands start to drop.

“[name]!-“

“Keep going… keep going even when my hands drop, until you finish.” They clutch onto him, lower now, but they still gave him comfort even at this moment.

"Alright, alright." He nodded. "Don't think of anything, don't say anything, not even a word. Just give me a smile, " he asked in return.

They complied. Even in this abnormal situation they still wanted to celebrate their stupid birthday.

“Happy birthday, dear [name]~” he could hear himself hiccuping from crying.

“Happy birthday to you…”

“Again.” They demanded, little tears still coming out.

And like they commanded he obeyed, he kept singing to them even when their hand finally fell and their breathing stopped.

Even when they felt cold as a corpse.

He kept singing.

Hugging them tightly, no matter how limp they seem to be.

"Hey Dick, anything important tomorrow?" A small [name] appeared tugged on his shirt.

"Yeah sorry [name], Damian asked me to do something with him before you did, you understand right? You're older and Damian- he's been through a lot, hm?" Dick ruffled their hair.

"But it's-"

"Sorry, I have to leave now!" News broke out that another villain caused a ruckus in this city.

[name] could only rub their arm with their other arms, tears streaming down their face, as they could only sniffle.

"But... it's my Birthday..." They whispered to themselves seeing the retreating figure of Dick fade away.

—

It wasn’t even an argument that losing one of his children once was painful, so when Jason returned from the dead it only solidified his promise to himself that he’d never let another one of his kids perish.

It seemed he wasn’t the only one notified of what was occurring by Damian but everyone was.

When they showed up at the scene with medical equipment, it was too late.

Instead, stumbling into a Nightwing holding onto [name] 's corpse singing Happy Birthday to them.

—

At least they had a body to hold a funeral for this time around.

They ordered a glass coffin to preserve their body in.

Of course, out of common courtesy, they invited the people close to them.

The door to the reception slammed open.

(Why am I imagining the scenes in Miraculous with Adrien’s dead mom, ykw? Imagine [name]’s funeral exactly like that, the batfam are rich for a reason.)

“How dare you think you guys have any right near their body!?” In storms Penelope, and Astro also came in.

Penelope, a doctor at the highest medical institute known worldwide, approached the mourning family.

Astro had a cold look following behind.

Penelope took Bruce’s collar gripping onto him with pure rage.

“You guys want to play the part of the loving family now?! How about when they needed it?! Huh?!”

Astro placed a bouquet below [name]’s coffin giving a prayer before putting a hand on Penelope's shoulder.

“That’s enough, pray respect to [name], there’s no point arguing with them. You should know but now with what [name] tells us, they’ve never cared.”

She scoffed before shoving Bruce away and patting herself off.

“That’s a lie! We did care for them.” [M/D] called after them right when they were walking out.

“Says the woman who kept pushing her delusional self onto [name], what? Were you trying to replace their real mother? Look at all that jewelry and that veil. Please, what is this fashion show for you?” Penny had to get held back by Astro.

“Show some respect! Be lucky we even invited you!” Damian retorted.

“Enough! This is a funeral, not your drama show.” Duke butted in, distressed by the situation, he didn’t know [name] too well but it’s not his fault… he didn’t even know you existed.

With that the silence ensued and everyone stayed to respect [name].

Here lies, [name], they did more than expected of anyone. From donating to building connections, there was so much more they could’ve done in their life. Wasted at the mere age of barely 23 years old.

Isn’t funny they died on the one day they were always alone on their birthday? Now everyone was there. Not to celebrate though.

May they rest in peace,

[name] [last name].

Penelope is 067 in my crossover fic and y'all know Astro and Sherry are the shopkeepers as well so yeah they exist in this au.

Halfway through I realized that I hadn't introduced Penelope in the other fic so... oops.

Also if the ending seems rushed or ass, don't mind it. ❤

Anyway hopefully the person who wrote this request sees this and everyone else too but just in case here is the taglist and anon 👾🍑, I hope you see this!

@cozmie @nxdxsworld @overcaffeinatedfreak @strwberryglass @leiiasurez @randomlyappearingartist @sirenetheblogger @a-lurking-fae @darktrashpoetry @frankie-moon3 @mynameisnotlaura @blackcat2270

#platonic batfam #platonic yandere batfam #yandere batfamily #yandere batfam x reader #yandere batfamily x reader #batfam x neglected reader #yandere batfam

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milksuu · 2 years ago

Text

Sorry, Mom. I'm The New Cleaning Lady For Heartsteel

Pairings: various!Heartsteel x f!reader

Status: on-going (Cross posted on AO3)

Content/Warnings: 18+ content, explicit themes, suggestive language

Summary: Identity theft was a crime—that was obvious. But when it meant paying off the bills for basically existing and your mother’s hospital expenses, committing a felony didn’t seem like a bad thing. It was like that one quote, from that one band, with that one hit song: “Two sides to a story but they never tell me side.”

Or…something like that. Wait, what was their name again? Heartsteel? Sounds like a dating sim game.

[Reader takes the identity of her mother, who had been hired to be the new cleaning lady for an up and coming boy band named ‘Heartsteel’. Obviously, there’s no way they would ever find out. But that was a joke. Because they’re definitely finding out: one by one.]

“You…brought your own cleaning supplies?”

“You always need to be prepared, young man,” you replied, adjusting your duck-yellow cleaning gloves. They squeeked and flopped comically around your hand and fingers.

“Ma’am, you do understand today is solely the house tour.” The man folded his arms neatly against his chest, white brow raised. “In order to rely on you fully, you’ll need to be familiar with the estate first. I thought we discussed this beforehand. That and…we have cleaning supplies to provide you with here.”

You paused at the grand modern entrance. You lifted your bucket full of sponges, brushes, and cleaning spray from the dollar store. 'Buy-one-get-one' on all cleaning supplies was the grand deal of the day. How could you pass a penny-pinching bargain? Swallowing your shame, you settled the cheap items on the pristine granite floors.

“Oh, is that so? Must’ve slipped my mind. Age will do that to you.” You forced a chuckle, adjusting your sterile mask across your youthful face. “That and, I have such a passion for cleaning. I can't help myself. I see the inside of a house, and I just have to clean it. I’m sure you could understand that.”

“I don’t believe I could,” your employer said dryly. “Anyway, if you will, follow me.”

You nodded and shuffled along accordingly. As you stared into the back of his immaculately pressed business attire, a new-found horror struck through you: you had no clue what your employer’s name was. Frantically, you scavenged your pockets. From it, you pulled out a business card, holding it so close to your face you smelled the tinge of clean cologne.

YONE

RIOT RECORDS

DJ / PRODUCER

EMAIL: [email protected]

TELEPHONE: XXX-XXX-XXXX

“The bottom floor consists of all of the amenities; gym, entertainment area, recording studio and so on.” Yone stated as he stepped into the open-kitchen plan. When he regarded you again, you awkwardly plunged the card back into your pants pocket. “The boys have their own scheduled chores every week. They’re expected to do it without you having to help them. I’m trying to keep them humble, but easier said than done. Refer to the chore calendar on the fridge. And try not to interfere with it too much.”

“Okay—who switched my protein powder with flour?” Behind an opened cabinet, a heavy-muscled stacked man growled. “Guys. Seriously. This stuff’s expensive. Where’d it go?” When he poured the contents out into the trash can, he plucked out a note from the bottom of the canister. The small print read:

‘Protein powder tastes like dog food.’’

The weight of realization punched him square between the eyes. He threw open the pantry, where dog kibble was stored in a tub at the bottom marked ‘Ernest’. Sett pulled open the container, and sure enough, found his protein powder and scooper. There was no mistaking his favorite smell of cinnamon crunch isolate, now mixed with the scent of dry-bacon kibble. Another note pasted the inside lid:

‘Woof–Woof ฅ՞•ﻌ•՞ฅ’

“A–phe–li–os,” the name gritted between his canines. His ears flattened against his untamed hair, and crumpled the note to dust in his palm. “Oh–Ho. Mess with me all you want; but never mess with my gains. I’m gonna’ prank him back so hard tonight, he’s gonna’ be begging me to stop.”

“Sett,” Yone coughed, grabbing the Vistayan's attention. “We have a guest today. Our new cleaning lady.”

“Oh, sorry about that.” Sett wiped his powdered hand against his sleeveless shirt. He reached and took your rubber glove with a squelch. “Hey, how’s it goin’, Ma’am. The name’s Sett.”

You swallowed hard, hoping your glove would remain securely covering your hand. You feared if he pulled back, he would reveal a hand that wasn't so wrinkled for someone supposedly in their late-fifties. And that was according to your mother’s age printed on her driver’s license. Thankfully, you could tell he restrained himself to a delicate shake.

“Would talk more but gotta hit the gym. Nice meetin’ yah though,'' Sett started away, and called back over his shoulder. “Mom, can you take care of Phel for me? I dunno' where he hid the dog food for Ernest.”

Yone exhaled a silent sigh, and part of you felt pity for your employer. He seemed like a parent with a tag-team of overbearing children running around the house. Being a single parent was difficult; you knew this first hand from your own up-bringing. It made you grateful for your mother’s patience and attention. It was the reason you were here in the first place.

“Let’s continue with the tour upstairs,” Yone said, motioning you to a loft-style staircase. “The second floor consists of all the bedrooms and laundry room. At the end of the hall is my room. As it stands, it’s completely off limits to everyone, including yourself.” He turned a sharp chin in your direction, “Am I understood?”

You gulped and pressed your shoulders straight. “Of course.”

“Mommy, help me!” A bed of green hair bounced to Yone’s side, tugging at his tailored suit. “Kayn’s bullying me again. But I didn’t do anything wrong, I swear.”

“You’re such a crappy liar.” The presumed assailant, Kayn, stomped out of the hallway bathroom. Magenta hair stuck to his furrowing brows. With just a towel wrapped around his steaming waist, his abdominal muscles tensed, pointing aggressively at his target. “I was trying to shower in peace, until bubblegum pop princess over here came barging in trying to take selfies of himself. Did you know people usually shower naked? I’d like my junk not to be posted on social media, unless I’m the one doing it. For cash.”

“It’s not my fault you’re always going over your shower limit. News flash: we each only get fifteen-minutes. But you’re always breaking the rules! You know I take my selfies at the same time, at the same place, every single day. So how about you do us all a favor, and get some better time management?”

Kayn raised a vein popping fist into the air. “How about I get you a better face instead?"

Ezreal cried fake sparkling tears, cowering further behind their producer.

“Enough. The both of you,” Yone tightened around his words like a leash, restraining the quarreling pair. “For once, I’d like for you two to at least pretend you get along in front of others.”

The two whined and grumbled under their breaths till they fell to a silent agreement. But the peace treaty wasn’t upheld for long. You saw a zap of yellow from the corner of your eye. The image was so fast, you thought you must’ve imagined it—Nope. You definitely saw something. Kayn’s towel knot popped loose. And it wasn’t caused by an event of divine intervention.

The towel billowed towards the ground. And the world felt as if it was turning in slow motion, like one of those car chase movies with excessive explosions. Except, the only explosion here would be your very own heart.

Sure, you took an anatomy class here and there. In high school, you remembered the penis joke’s and games, and they never flustered you. Heck, not even when your friends set your desktop screen to a .gif of dicks spinning in circles—you found that hilarious. And when anatomy classes began in college, they were all very clinical, rudimentary, and otherwise a snooze fest.

But seeing one in real life when you’ve never had a boyfriend or a one night stand, was truly groundbreaking. Earth shattering, even.

Penis (en)counter: 1

While you were stuck in your prison of naïve embarrassment, Ezreal laughed and pulled out his cell phone, camera light shuttering a mile a minute.

“You little shi—!” Time sped forward again. With fast reflexes of his own, Kayn whipped the towel and knot back in place. “That’s it. You’re dead.”

“Uh–Oh. Time to run again,” Ezreal quipped, zooming off down the stairs.

With all bark and full bite, Kayn vanished like a cloud of smoke in pursuit. You coughed against the smog, while Yone merely swatted his hand back and forth, dissipating the gray wisps.

“You’ll have to excuse them,” he commented. “They share the same room, but have vastly different personalities. I arranged most of them together, thinking it’d help them understand each other on a deeper level. And ultimately, help them perform better together in the studio and on stage. My efforts are…yet to be determined.”

“That’s alright. Can’t be easy for young men their age to share anything. Especially with them being full of energy, testosterone, and other things. O-Oh, to be young once more…ah-ha…” you laughed nervously. Oh, God. What the heck were you saying? Honestly, you had to give pardon to yourself. You were still trying to recover from seeing your first penis up close and personal.

The image would be forever burned in your mind.

You were pulled from your self-conscious thoughts. Down the hall, a pair of shadowed eyes peeked through a sliver of door and frame. When your gaze locked together, the other pair of eyes shifted shyly from side to side. As if a poltergeist existed within the room, the visage faded back into the uncanny crack of darkness. The door creaked closed, with an audible click and lock.

Yone pursued straight to the door, and you stood a few paces back. If there was any chance that a ghost was inside living rent-free, you wouldn't be the first it possessed. You weren't a certified Ghostbuster.

But you also weren't a certified Dustbuster, either. No one will know, know one will know, you chanted the comforting hymn.

“Aphelios. Open the door. I know you’re in there. I can see the computer light flashing,” Yone stated, rattling the door knob. “Where’s the kibble for the dog? Sett told me you have it somewhere.”

There was a beat in the air. From behind the door, you heard feet pacing back and forth, and the sounds of finger taps against a phone screen. Yone’s phone pinged with an alert. He pulled it out, and opened his text messages.

‘I can’t open the door all the way. I set the bucket of dog food to fall on Sett’s head when he comes in. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ’

“For the love of…no more pranks today." Yone pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan. "But I doubt you could even manage that. Whatever trap you’ve ensembled, take it down—now. And put the dog’s food back in the pantry. Unless you want to donate a cut of your earnings every month to Ernest’s pet store bill.”

Another pause, followed by begrudging phone taps.

‘Fine, m O T h E r…(¬_¬")’

“That might take him a few. Depending how intricate the set up was. I would be surprised if the only thing involved in this scheme was just the dog food.” Yone motioned you back down the stairs. “Last thing to see is the outdoor space.”

Continuing with the tour, you passed through the lower floor, stepping down a hallway decorated with awards and magazine clippings. From commercial modeling gigs to sold out venues, your eyes glistened at the polished look the group was slowly cultivating. Which you had to admit, completely contradicted their personal lives.

When you reached a sliding glass door that stretched from floor to ceiling, you stepped out onto a landscaped deck. Lush modern garden trims, a shaded outdoor lounge, and smooth sandstone pavement decorated the space. At the backend, an infinity pool rested in pristine stillness.

At the head of the pool, a person of sculpted bronze physique posed in swimwear on a lounge chair. When you approached along with your chaperone, he picked up his tropical drink, and tilted it in a cheering gesture.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Mama gracing me with his presence. And look's like someone else is with him, too.” The man basking in the sun's rays and oil slicked, shucked his sunglasses onto his dread locks. “Let me guess. This must be the new cleaning lady you hired to pick up after our mess.”

“To a certain degree,” Yone replied. “But not all of the mess, K’Sante. Out of everyone, you should know better.”

“I only joke, Mama.” He grinned smoothly, taking a sip of his frozen alcoholic refresher. “Say, have you seen Sett? I told him to come join me for a tan by the pool. If he wants his muscles to truly pop, he needs to use some oil and not be allergic to the sun. The man is whiter than the sky is bright today.”

As he laughed to himself, Ernest left his chew toy at the far side of the pool, and came to sniff your shoes. With a smile, you slipped a very small piece of your long sleeve up, allowing him to sniff at your skin. The dog lapped his tongue around his slobbering chops, barking delightedly and pawing for you to pet him. You were more than happy to oblige.

These gloves came in handy after all, you thought pleasantly as globs of saliva fell in heaps over your fingers.

“What’s this? Ernest taking a liking to the cleaning lady already,” K’Sante mused at the sight. “Barely warmed up to us when we first met. We won’t mention the illegal trespassing but, call me impressed.”

With a wink, he flicked his sunglasses back down to the bridge of his nose. “That or he has a ‘ting for older women. Can’t say I blame ‘em. An experienced woman has a certain power that’ll make any grown man cry. And from my own experience, it is never for mercy.”

Oh, boy. You couldn’t imagine your mother being interested in the cougar life-style. Not that you would approve of it. And you were certain your father would descend from the heavens and deliver the backhand of God to any young man who dared otherwise.

Before Yone could address the unsavory statement, Ezreal burst through the backyard sliding doors. Still possessed with laughter, he hopped and skipped over pool chairs and tables. The merriment stopped short when Kayn caught up to the cheeky idol, snatching his wrist which held the phone. From the staggering halt, the phone slipped from Ezreal’s hold, somersaulting towards the pool.

“M-My phone!” Ezreal paled at the thought of losing thousands of stored photos of himself—Oh, and the blackmail photos he was going to use against Kayn, too.

Yanking his wrist free, Ezreal pursued the device. But Ernest’s rubber hotdog toy squealed beneath him, forcing him off balance. Kayn latched an arm around Ezreal's slim waist, and pressed him safely against his bare chest.

He huffed against Ezreal's ear. “You can’t swim, you idiot. Remember? Just let it go.”

Ernest barked at the surmounting commotion. Being the valiant guard dog with the perfect pedigree, he bounded on his thick paws to catch Kayn by the towel, with all the intent to keep them both from falling in. What a good boy! Unfortunately for Kayn, Ernest bit a bit more than he could chew.

Kayn’s voice bass boosted ten-octaves lower. “MY DAMN ASS!”

W-Whose voice was that? Was that even the same person? The thought rattled through you.

A chunk of Kayn's soft meat condensed in the jaws of a furry devil. A shock travelled up the nerves of his spine, into the the muscle fibers of his arm, shoving Ezreal forward. Ezreal flailed his hands in the air, desperate to find some semblance of balance—with no luck, at all. Fumbling on his tip-toes, Ezreal plummeted into the pool with a splash. Kayn stumbled from the after-shock of his spirit being bitten straight through his buttcheeks. His feet met the cursed rubber squeaker, sending him following suit into the pool. Except, the towel had its own plans. It decided to stay behind and not get involved.

Penis (en)counter: 2

“I heard some commotion, fellas. What’s goin’ on?” Sett stepped out from the sliding doors. He caught witness of Ezreal’s face treading water, gasping for bouts of air. Sett’s muscles popped at the sight, barreling towards the scene. “Don’t worry, Ez. I’m coming for yah, buddy!”

Sett launched himself into the air, preparing the most athletic Olympic dive ever conceived.

Kayn inhaled sharply as he broke through the water's surface tension. Recuperating his breaths, he slicked his wet hair back from his face. Looking down at the waters crystal reflection, an odd shadow grew in size around him. And according to the forecast earlier; there was no chance in Hell of clouds or rain. Lifting his nose to the darkening sky, he blanched in sheer horror. A body, massive enough to eclipse the sun, hurled down like a meteor descending to Earth.

What day was it today, Doomsday? He must've forgot; Kayn never bothered to look at calendar's, anyway.

Back to the painful mistress that was his life; a weak, painful moan escaped him. “You can’t be serious. This isn’t the cool death I deserve—”

Those were Kayn’s final words. A wave rivaling a tsunami consumed him, a random pizza chair float, and the immediate surrounding pool area. Standing in the designated splash zone, pool water soaked your soles, leached into your socks, and dampened your pants to the knees. From K’Sante’s spot, a shot of chlorine or two spiked his drink. He snatched his sunglasses off and shouted the words; “This was the last bit of banana daiquiri mix, you aboas! Now I have to go down to the liquor store and hope they sell it frozen already.”

Yone, with all the grace anyone could hope to be blessed with, merely side-stepped away. A single speck landed on his polished shoes. He narrowed his steely eyes, flicking away the insignificant drop.

You caught something flashing on the second floor of the estate. Looking up, you shielded your eyes from the glaring sun. From one of the windows, you spotted someone holding up a sign. You assumed it was Aphelios. The poster read:

‘4/10 Ezreal. 6/10 Kayn. 10/10 Sett.’

With a dramatic burst through the water, Sett hurled Ezreal over his massive shoulder, and walked out of the pool. Placing Ezreal onto his soaking back, he coughed and gagged against the awful taste of treated water.

He smiled at his new-found savior. “Thanks, Sett. I’m fine, but what about Kayn…”

The group shifted their attention over the silent, lapping water. After a bubble or two, the sight of Kayn’s bare bottom surfaced to the top. Floating like a wet and rounded land-mass, with the additional landmark of a pink dog-bite.

“Kayn! Hang in there, pal!” Sett launched himself once more into the water, creating another wave of soaking magnitude.

Although the drink had already been spoiled, K’Sante reflexively covered the top of his daiquiri glass. “For God’s sake, Sett. Take your time. It’s not like you’re saving the life of an innocent man.”

As chaos continued to ensue around the gang, Yone placed himself at your side. With a shake of his head, he crossed his arms, and sent a ghost of a smile your way.

“Welcome to Heartsteel,” he said. “Your first day starts tomorrow.”

Looks like your identity was safe…for now, at least.

an: thanks for reading! the rest of the this story will most likely just be on my AO3. You can find me @ milksuu. comments and suggestions always welcomed. <3

#heartsteel #league of legends #Heartsteel x reader #kayn x reader #ezreal x reader #aphelios x reader #Sett x reader #K'Sante x reader #Yone x reader #reader insert #league of legends fanfiction #cross posted on ao3 #divider by @benkeibear

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