#i'm going absolutely off the walls bonkers

[fool-for-luv]

oh my god it's about love. It's all about love and the infinite different forms that love takes. nona is asked do you love and she says yes-no-yes i don't know what it means, i say it and i don't know what it means, did i ever know what it means? but she loves so much and so hard, she falls in love with everyone she meets but she doesn't know what love means!!! gideon does not care if harrowhark is in hell but she needs to know, she needs to KNOW, she has died for her and she is willing to die again to save harrowhark's body (take it from anywhere, take it all). Camilla, we did it, didn't we? we have had something nearly perfect. the perfect friendship, the perfect love. Palamedes yes, my whole life, yes. yes, forever, yes. life is too short and love is too long!!!!!! we are the love that is perfected by death!!! pyrrha "i'll keep loving you, my problem is I don't know how to stop" dve!!!!

[diseaseriddencube]

Chapter 40 for everyone to enjoy 🥰 though buy it if you can, maybe if enough people buy the chapters they'll actually update it more often (?)

[le-velo-pour-dru]

Top 10 videos that are amazing outstanding incredible showstopping powerful breathtaking and freaking LIFE CHANGING-

[victorborkowski]

no offense but also full offense, despite me still very much enjoying myself story-wise, the level design for the maps in heavensward are absolutely fucking atrocious lmfao. like i Understand mmo maps in particular tend to be larger + a bit harder to navigate because they Want you to waste time either to sell you on mounts and/or take up even a fraction more of your lovely lovely subscription time. ive been playing mmos since i was a wee child. but. my god. this is just outright obnoxious in a way that not even a lot of f2p mmos are lol.

[keferon]

"Why do you even want to go back to earth in the first place?" Prowl asked, to distract himself from the uneasy tingle in his wires, the touch and sound of something inside him.

Something small, like a parasite. But this was no parasite and so Prowl had to bear the oddity of it all.

"I'm still technically workin' for somebody. Also, I need food." Replied the tiny organic inside his chest cavity.

"We gave you food."

"Alien food! It may be softer than metal but it ain't edible!" Jazz retorted, crawling through the opening Prowl's inside shell had transformed and made space for. It looked like the hatch he used to get inside his own mecha too.

"Woah!"

Jazz was taken aback by Prowl's interior. Sure, it mimicked his own mecha quite well but everything about it was still so...alien. Sharp angles and brighter colours made for an interesting space to pilot.

"Damn Prowl! If I'd known your cockpit would look better than my own, i'd've suggested this sooner!" Jazz hopped into the pilot seat, checking if he even recognized the controls. Luckily, those were quite similar.

"Jazz."

A voice sounded from the outside, vibrating the walls of the cockpit in a low hum. Prowl's tone seemingly a bit flustered.

"Right, lets get this over with!" Jazz grinned, flicking a couple switches and pressing a few buttons. Atleast that's what Prowl assumed he was doing based on the odd tingles he felt throughout his circuits.

"Er- I ain't actually ever controlled a living mech before, so I can't give ya much more advice than to...relax?"

Prowl felt an uncomfortable sting in his lower back plate. He almost reached out to it if he didn't know it was Jazz doing it.

"Jazz!" He vented, the whirring of his systems and his stress echoing in the cockpit.

"Sorry! Y'gotta relax! It's like tryna' drive in the ocean." Prowl heard back from his chest.

He vented again. "This is...difficult."

"Y'have to trust me, Prowler. Lean back, let me catch ya."

Prowl let his optics drift into an idle stare, trying to focus his mind on just letting go, resisting the urge to tense up. His processor screamed danger, every will and force told him to panic.

Jazz's voice echoed into his audials, telling Prowl how good of a job he was doing.

Prowl relaxed, watching as his own hand slowly (involuntarily) lifted off his lap and waved back at him.

- Going absolutely bonkers over this AU sorry for the long ask I had to type it out -

IM ON MY KNEES YES YES THIS OH M Y. G O D KFLGMGNGJKDNFBVNFKF,F NFMFMFMVNVNJG THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT . ANON LEMME KISS YOU

[saltpepperbeard]

OBLIGATORY COMPLETE OFMD SEASON 2 TEASER THOUGHTS AND SPECULATION POST™

Okay, to start off, I cannot BELIEVE we got this. I cannot BELIEVE we got a voiceover of Stede's note to Ed. We were all thinking it. We were all hoping for it. I CANNOT BELIEVE WE LEGITIMATELY GOT TO SEE AND HEAR HIS LOVE RIGHT OFF THE BAT. HE LOVES HIS ED SO SO MUCH.

Followed by this shot right as Stede is narrating. It's difficult to tell, but it seems like Ed??? The one-armed jacket and the fact that it's layered with Stede's narration makes me quite certain it's him. But ALONE??? AND COMING OUT OF THE SURF??? (There's a shot later that has me PARTICULARLY raising eyebrows at this moment. I'm thinking that he fell off the boat/was lost in that one storm shown later, and Stede of course is going to dive in after him or attempt to get to him in some sort of dramatic way. Which makes me think he and Stede are going to potentially talk feelings/reconcile on the beach)

And the fight choreography of this. Are you actually kidding me right now. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. GETTING TO SEE ED ABSOLUTELY KICKING ASS IN COMBAT??? NEVER IN A THOUSAND YEARS DID I EXPECT TO SEE A SHOT LIKE THIS BUT I'M HOLLERING SO HARD OVER IT (NOT TO MENTION, AGAIN, LOOKING AT THIS AND A LATER SHOT..........I'LL SCREAM ABOUT MY THOUGHTS WHEN SAID SHOT APPEARS HSKDLS)

Oh, they're PINING pining. They're YEARNING yearning. They're GAY gay.

They want to be back with each other so so so bad I'm losing my mind <3

"Fuck you, Stede Bonnet." The way he's JUST as dramatic as we were all thinking. The way he's hurting in a way WE ALL ANTICIPATED. LIKE, YOU HATE TO SEE IT, BUT MAN DSJKLDSSDKL. Also, the contrast of him saying that vs Stede's voice over is so so insane. The editors are INSANE FOR THAT ONE.

AGAIN, GOING BONKERS OVER ED'S CHARACTERIZATION BECAUSE HE SEEMS EXACTLY HOW I ANTICIPATED. Outwardly, angry, hardened, and cold. Inwardly, heartbroken, desperate, and wanting nothing more than to be back with Stede. Because hello, HELLO, HE'S NOTCHED WHAT I ASSUME TO BE HIS NUMBER OF DAYS WITHOUT STEDE IN THE WALL??????

HI OLU HELLO OLU MY DEAR DARLING OLU

but also screaming and crying and throwing up because this is ALSO what i was anticipating/hoping for. the crew being like "ummmmm lmao captain?? you really think you've got this under control???"

"You think Blackbeard's going to murder you?" I THINK NOT BECAUSE WHAT IS HE EVEN SHOOTING AT JSLDKS. OFF TO THE SIDE??? A WARNING SHOT????? Also the lighting of this and his look matches the ending shot so I'm very eyes emoji at this entire thing.

HOWEVER...

"MURDERER THRICE OVER?????????????"

Like sorry, that sign won't stop me because I can't read. Look at him. LOOK at him. You're telling me he stole the wedding cake toppers so he could PAINT HIMSELF ON THE BRIDE??? SO HE COULD MAKE HIMSELF INTO THE BEAUTIFUL BRIDE HE WANTS TO BE????? SO THAT HE COULD PLAY PRETEND MARRIAGE BETWEEN HIMSELF AND STEDE???????

INSANE!!!

INSANE FOR THIS!!!!!!

Again, bonkers editing. The split screen. The CONTRAST between Stede's hopefulness and Ed's depression. The WAY THEY LINED IT UP TO MAKE ED LOOK LIKE HE'S TAKING AIM AT STEDE. THE WAY THIS PROBABLY PERFECTLY ENCAPSULATES THEIR CHARACTERIZATION IN THE FIRST FEW EPISODES HSDJKLSDS LIKE BITING THE EDITORS BITING THEM BITING THEM

ALSO ED AND ALL OF HIS GUNS,,, NINE GUNS???????

It kills me because he's probably being exactly what he thinks people see him as. He's probably like "Oh, you want a monster? I'll give you a monster."

WHICH,,,, NO, HONEY. YOU'RE A SWEETHEART, SORRY ABOUT IT.

AND THEN LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT OUR DARLINGS!!! FANG'S FUCKING SPIKES ARE SO METAL. FRENCHIE'S WOLVERINE COSPLAY SHDJKLSHDLKS. JIM!!! JIM JIM MY BELOVED JIM, AND THEIR PAINTED BEARD. THEIR GENDER!!!!!!!

Honey hsdksjds the drama of it all. THE DRAMA. CRASHING WEDDINGS TO DISRUPT LOVE BECAUSE YOUR OWN WAS DISRUPTED??? SIIIIIIRRRR THE THEATRICS, THE SPICE OF IT ALL

excuse me ma'am that is a gay man shdkjshkls THAT IS A GAY MAN. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING,,,

kiss me instead like wtf

OKAY NOW THIS,,,

THIS.

PRESIDENTIAL ALERT: THE BABYGIRL IS FIGHHHTTTTIIIING

BUT IZZY WATCHING ON??? IZZY????????????

I have Genuine Thoughts™ about this. I have a feeling that the big arc/character development Con mentioned might pertain to him like, REALIZING what's important, and what Ed actually wants and needs. And a good chunk of that will be him realizing the consequences of his actions, and maybe potentially wanting to undo the damage. And also, in his Bitchy Izzy Ways™, he might also get very very tired of Ed's sulking/theatrics and want to rectify things for that reason too.

So I feel like he's going to sort of team up with Stede and show him the ropes for that reason?? So they ALL can work towards betterment???

WHICH IS NUTS LMAO. NEVER EVER EXPECTED THAT.

REGARDLESS, GO STEDE BABY GO!!!

HI REVENGE HELLO REVENGE PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING DRASTIC LIKE EXPLODE OR ANYTHING PLEASE BABYGIRL <3

yeah yeah the titties we've all seen them.

BUT AGAIN, AGAIN, STEDE OFF TO THE SIDE. STEDE WATCHING. STEDE LEARNING THE ROPES FROM THE MOST UNEXPECTED PERSON EVER SHDJKSDS LIKE WHAT!!!

AND HEEEEEEERE WE GO. HERE'S THE SHOT I WAS REFERRING TO EARLIER.

THE SAME BLACK SAND BEACH. FIGHTING THE BRITISH. ED AND STEDE. ED WITHOUT HIS MAKEUP ON. STEDE IN A DIFFERENT OUTFIT.

ARE THEY BOTH,,, FIGHTING TO GET TO EACH OTHER??? FIGHTING THROUGH CROWDS AND ENEMIES TO GET TO EACH OTHER'S SIDES???????

WHAT IF THEY FIGHT TO EACH OTHER AND THEN KISS HUH???

WHAT THEN.

HIIIIIIYYYAAAA JACKIE <33333

ALSO HELLO IS THAT THE SWEDE BEHIND HER???????

EXPLOSIONS FIRE EXPLOSIONS EXPLOSIONS FEELING VERY WEE JOHN CODED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

AND THIS IS YET ANOTHER SHOT I WAS REFERRING TO EARLIER,,,

LIKE UHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WITH ED ON THE BEACH, AND THIS SHOT OF SOMEONE FALLING INTO THE WATER,,,,,,

I HAVE A FEELING THAT ED IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING THAT ENDS WITH HIM FALLING OFF THE BOAT. MAYBE HE TRIES TO SAVE SOMEONE???

if he fights to save stede from going overboard or something equivalent i'm going to eat all the tiles off my floor <3

LIKE IT'S BAD BESTIES. IT'S BAD. IT'S DIRE. THE WATER IS SO FUCKING HIGH AND THEY'RE IN A STORM AND JIM IS SCREAMING AND I AM ALSO SCREAMING!!!

But then also, LOOK AT FUCKING WEE JOHN!!! IN DRAG!!! HE'S A FUCKING MERMAID!!! JIM ISN'T A MERMAID???? WELL, THAT'S FINE--WEE JOHN IS!!! LIVING HIS BEST FUCKING LIFE!!!!! AND WHAT IF HE MADE THAT COSTUME HIMSELF SJDKSDJLS <3

AND THE FINAL SHOT I'M CHOOSING, THE FINAL ONE OF THE SET,,, MATCHES UP WITH THAT LIGHTING EARLIER.

WHO ARE WE FIGHTING, ED BABE. WHAT'S THE TEA. WHO ARE YOU CLOBBERING.

IS IT US?

IT'S PROBABLY US.

BECAUSE THIS ENTIRE THING HAS ME SO SO SO DEAD Y'ALL

[lenaellsi]

it's honestly a bit odd to me that so many people have jumped on the 'aziraphale will be pulling all the strings and playing politics in heaven' train. like I think it's true that the metatron is underestimating aziraphale's intelligence and ability to disrupt the second coming even while separated from crowley, but I also think the idea that aziraphale is going up to heaven with a clear idea of how he's just been lied to, an understanding of how much danger he's in, and a plan to stop it is a huge reach.

frankly, aziraphale is very vulnerable to manipulation. I'm thinking now of neil’s post with the diary entry from before the edinburgh minisode where he was duped by two humans, the whole thing with the nazis in 1941, and his sponsorship of shadwell's various obviously fake agents (sergeant milkbottle, etc.). he's not nearly as savvy as fanon tends to portray him. he takes people at face value, especially people he thinks of as Good. (that's not a dunk, btw--I find these things endearing, and a sign of aziraphale's innate wish to see the best in people. I just think that sometimes the BAMF protective aziraphale of fanon overshadows the slightly more naive aziraphale of canon. and honestly, I also think TV aziraphale is just a bit softer than book aziraphale, though he is capable of stepping up when it counts.)

and he's a bad liar! I know it's a meme in the fandom that aziraphale lies all the time, but he doesn't like it, and he's bad at it. he gets nervous and comes up with terrible excuses and the only reason he ever gets away with it is because the people he's lying to are idiots (gabriel), have their own agendas (god, the other archangels), or trust him to be honest (crowley).

aziraphale's real strength is his ability to take sudden, completely unexpected action. that's one of the things that crowley admires most about him. "he's unpredictable," is what he says to nina, and it's true! aziraphale's greatest moments of rebellion have always come from spur of the moment decisions, not intricate plans. (if anything, crowley is the planner--the arrangement and the thwarting of the apocalypse, their two longest cons, were both his idea.)

aziraphale gives the sword away because when he is forced to make a decision under pressure, he tends to land on the side of rebellious kindness. shielding crowley from the rain in eden, lying to gabriel to protect job's family, defying the quartermaster and returning to earth via possession during the apocalypse, blowing up his halo--he does these things because he's following that same impulse. when aziraphale has time to over think, he frets and fusses and is paralyzed by indecision. (or worse, he falls back on what heaven has taught him.)

TL;DR: I don't think aziraphale has any sort of grand plan other than a generalized "make things better," and I certainly don't think he is planning to betray heaven. he might try to come up with a plan once he figures out how bad things are going to get, but my bet is that what will actually disrupt the second coming is an absolutely bonkers off the wall decision that no one, crowley included, could ever predict. and I think it’ll happen, as it usually does with aziraphale, just after he accepts a difficult truth that fundamentally shifts his worldview—in this case, his final rejection of the idea of “good” and “bad” people, and of the entire morality system of heaven and hell.

[nevertheless-moving]

binged dungeon meshi anime + manga after numerous tumblr posts and leg injury. thoughts based on fandom > manga> anime ride:

[SPOILERS FOR MANGA]

senshi pantyshot fanservice much appreciated but... should really be more lingering and inexplicably glistening if its gonna match up to fanservice in other animes

no yeah TOTALLY get why toshiro just said fuck it and went home after... all that. days of no food. blase dark magic/you were too late reveal. long repressed slapfight that he probably felt equally guilty and angry about. girl he loved appeared as GIANT MONSTER and BRUTALLY killed HIS FAMILY.

girl he loved STOPPED TO PULL HER TITS OUT midway through BRUTALLY KILLING HIS FAMILY.

i'd go home too

also , Maricelle, all the love in the world, but i get why everyone was mad about the dark magic. i mean it looked bad. WE know that thistle interfered but the situation looked BAD ngl maricelle i would not want you healing me either after falin appearance.

feel like changeling maricelle should have been half half-foot/half-dwarf or something like that. would have been fun half-elf reveal to party. actually bothers me that she wasn't? the more i think about it. i mean itzumi was still cat/kobold.

incredibly belated but looking back at changeling episode...is senshi shirtless the whole time???

okay nevermind did some extensive research and i'm fairly sure he wasn't

also thinking back about senshi — he absolutely knew what he was doing with setting off the traps and pissing chilchuck off...my man was living here for decades.

kabru/laois is both more and less textually present than i would have thought based on fandom.

like on one hand they barely interact. on the other hand they barely interact and Kabru is VERY much obsessed . they have ONE (1) conversation. much hilarity has been observed about that dialogue so i digress

and there is ZERO new information between that interaction and kabru planning on putting the man on a THRONE. at some unclear point his career goal becomes having his lips at this man's ear and a dagger at his neck ???

i cannot stress this enough: he invests SO EARLY in king Laios. willing to sacrifice his life for this to be realized. goal oriented. unhinged. good for him.

you could say it's just him being practical and choosing the best option based on available information but incredibly relevant new information becomes available and Kabru is STILL locked in

i'm crying over kabru 'compressing' mithran's backstory. sure as a meta framing device fine. but in universe? BONKERS. narrative critiquing clinically depressed man's tragic backstory. Super normal move.

so much nuance and different perspectives on fantasy interracial marriages and adoptions and its SO SO GOOD.

gnawing on the walls kinda worldbuilding seriously

so thistle was a teenager when this all started. that's what i'm getting. that's... man there's a lot of layers of tragedy.

wait so if elves and half-foots look ambiguously young do tallmen look ambiguously old?? wrinkly gangly old old wrinkly fuckers??? or burning the candle at both ends terrible looking tall child???

hey i'm starting to think that the monster who controls all monsters... might not be a good guy

'Delgal' holding thistle at the end ... i'm not crying. you're crying.

impossible to say if laois won the final battle on purpose or not

genuinely no idea

11/10 no notes about that fact

[brotherwtf]

heyyy hope you’re having an amazing day!! what are some things that they do that makes the other person’s brain like short circuit or just have them going ‘oh’ and completely mesmerised?

awww thanks anon! I hope you're having a great day also!

hehehe I am already giggling and kicking my feet just thinking about this. they're both just so obsessed with each other that I feel like everything the other does is just like "oh ok so this is the person I'm spending my life with, cool"

For Bucky, I think he goes bonkers whenever he sees Gale sleeping, bro is just so cute that Bucky literally almost punched a wall to stop from grabbing Gale's face and kissing him all over. With his arms tucked under his chin John just goes (ahisskks) whenever he sees Gale has fallen asleep.

I think bcs Austin is a chronic crop top wearer, maybe Gale starts to wear some too? He'll lift his arms to reach for smth and his waist will just be there and John has to sit on his hands not to grab. Literally frothing at the mouth seeing Gale's tiny waist. John's just obsessed with Gales waist in general lol

John is obsessed with Gales obsession with animals. It makes John's heart literally melt when he sees Gale petting a dog (John coded) or cuddling a cat, or just losing his mind over some livestock he had stumbled across. It brings out Gale's soft side and John absolutely loves it.

For Gale, I think he's absolutely bonkers for John's thighs. He'll wear basketball shorts sometimes and Gale practically drools at John's thick and beautiful thighs just there out in the open. He'll wear the shorts when he's working in the yard or smth and Gale will watch like every mom in a romcom, lemonade in hand and eyes peeking over his sunglasses. Occasionally, he'll wolf whistle to get John's attention.

He also loves John's mustache. He had threatened to shave it off at one point and Gale literally threw all of the razors away to stop him from doing it. He likes how it feels when he's kissing him, the slight roughness of the hair on his lips makes Gale lose his mind.

Gale LOVES Johns hair, will run his hands through it at all times when they're lounging. Even when they're sleeping, Gale will stroke his hands through John's hair to help HIM fall asleep, if John also falls asleep that's just a decent side effect.

They absolutely can't work out together because they can't keep their hands off of each other. Gale's juicy ass and John's thick thighs are nothing but Gale and John magnets. They have to do it at separate times of the day or they'll get nothing done.

When they get dressed up for events or smth, maybe in canon when they're in their dress uniforms or a modern au where they go to a formal, they can't keep their hands off of each other. Very first look in a movie, John would but a hand over his heart when he sees Gale and Gale would automatically link their arms together.

this one was very cute to write about! lmk y'all's hcs for this!

[natalie668]

Chapter 2 - Lost Girl

Warnings: will contain smut in future chapters, MFM, FM, sometimes more than 3 people lol. Violence (hello they’re vampires), mentions of drugs. (Paul smoking weed)

This story is going to be at least 30+ chapters. It’s still in its planning stages for the future but I love Lost boys (have since I was little) i need to let you all know that I’m a mother to 2 autistic children and a lot of my time is spent looking after them, but I will try and post at least weekly. Hope that’s ok with you all ❤️❤️ please feel free to post comments I’ll reply to every single one 🖤🖤

As we make our way through the crowds lingering across the boardwalk i can't help but to follow like a lost sheep. I have no clue where we're going but, but surely my soulmate can't be leading me to danger? That's why my legs willingly follow him as he makes his way towards a motorbike.

He gets on, and holds his hand out to me to take hold of, "come on, jump on." He says his eyes baring into my own.

I take a deep breath and pulling my pencil skirt upwards feeling rather self conscious, I get my leg over and secure my arms around his waist. This is my first time on a motorbike and my heart is in my throat. We begin to take off, he goes at a careful speed, we'd been driving for around 15 minutes before we came to a wooden looking house. We pull up the dirt path leading to the front of the home.

He kicks out the stand and slides off, his arms help me get off the bike, a smile now taking over his beautiful features. "This is my home, come on," he says as he leads me through the front door. "My mum should be home soon."

We make our way into what looks like a living room, there's a teenage boy sat on the sofa reading a Batman comic. I can't help but smile seeing a youngster reading.

He looks up from his comic, a frown marring his features, "why have you bought a girl home Mikey, moms not going to be happy." He practically finishes in sing song with a grin on his face.

He pushes his little brother by the shoulder, "Mom will be happy for me. Sammy; meet my soulmate - y/n."

Who i now know as Sam, his mouth opens wide like a gawping fish. He stutters, "Oh my god! Mikeys found his soulmate!?" He says practically vibrating on the spot with excitement. I can't help but to grin and smile at the kid. He seems so happy bless him.

I lean forward extending my hand, "it's nice to meet you Sammy,". We shake hands both of us grinning.

Michael wraps an arm around my shoulders, "well, I'm going to go get to know y/n some more, shout us when mums home." He says as we make our way up the stairs to what I can only assume is his bedroom.

We step into his bedroom and I take in the posters around jotted around on the walls. A single bed is the only thing to sit on in there. He sits himself down making himself comfy, I make my way over slipping my shoes off before climbing onto the bed.

We look at each other taking one another in, “So, what were you doing at the Board walk, you looked a bit lost. And I know I’ve never seen you there.” He says to me as I press my fingers to my lips, I can’t get over how good looking my soulmate is, he’s so handsome.

I look down at my hands, trying to think of what to say, whether to risk telling the truth and scaring my soulmate away or risking him getting me sent to a nut house. Oh sod it, what’s the worst that can happen.

“You’re going to think I’m crazy,” i say as i look up to him, “This morning I was in the year 2024, and I was on my way home from work, and I got hit by lightning and woke up on the sand in 1987.”

I peer up at, him waiting to see his reaction, peering up at him he seems shocked, obviously what else would you expect. “I promise I’m telling the truth, I know it sounds absolutely bonkers but it’s true.” I say as I look into his eyes, they seem to be taking in what I just said.

He leans forward, his fingers pressing to my cheek, he leans in and kisses my forehead, pulling me towards him. "I believe you, why would you lie about something like that." his chin is resting on the top of my head.

I lean in taking in his scent, I can't help but to feel safe in his embrace, snuggling against his chest. He smells me, I can hear his intake of breath breathing me in.

"You'll be ok love, I promise I'll take care of you forever." he says to me, nuzzling his face against me.

"Forever is a long time Michael, are you sure you can promise forever." i say to him grinning against his chest. I feel his chest vibrate with laughter.

"You'll find, we'll all be able to promise you forever, sweetheart." his fingers caress my hair, his fingers running through it.

I pull away from him, confused. "What do you mean we?," i say to him, does he know my other soulmates?

Michael is just about to speak when theres a knock against his bedroom door, "Come in," he says to the person at the door.

A beautiful blonde lady walks in, you hazard a guess that this woman is his mother. "Hi sweetie, it's lovely to finally meet my Michaels soulmate." she says as she rushes over and pulls me into a loving embrace. her warmness and nurturing nature reminds you of your own mother, a mother who would be in her 20s like yourself in 1987, the thought makes your head spin.

I lean into her hug, "Its lovely to meet you too," i say as she pulls back a huge loving smile on her face.

chapter 3

[tmntheadcanons]

tmnt 2003 headcanons: sleeping

Leo:

The room needs to be pitch black, dead silent and ice cold for him to fall asleep.

And he is a very light sleeper. I feel like he was always a bit like this but also trained himself to wake up quickly and easily when he hears something.

And he sleeps straight on his back like he is in a coffin.

And he sleeps with one pillow and it's the same, flat pillow he has been using for the last 10 years.

He won't go to sleep unless he knows everyone is home.

I think the difference between him and Donnie would be that Donnie doesn't let himself sleep but Leo actually can't sleep. I feel like he's naturally a bit of an insomniac but when he tries to sleep he kinda spirals in his own thoughts and stresses himself out.

But it's not always stress that keeps him up it'll be like the song Mikey was singing the same four lines of all day is now violently stuck in his head keeping him awake and he's thinking about how he is going to murder his brother in the morning.

Mikey:

Sleeps with a minimum of 5 pillows. One for spooning, two for his head, one for his feet and one to violently throw off the bed while half asleep at 3 am.

He can really sleep anywhere though. (And he will)

He talks in his sleep. He'll mutter a lot of non-sensical stuff and also he'll sometimes just straight up laugh in his sleep. And he rolls around a lot during the night.

I think Mikey has the wackiest dreams. His dreams are very vivid and if someone shows up in his dream he will go out of his way to tell them about their guest star appearance in his absolutely off the wall bonkers dream.

Also he is the one who has the most nightmares

He likes to sleep with a little bit of noise. He likes the tv playing or music playing while he's falling asleep and if it's dead silent he'll find it a little unsettling.

Same with lights, he likes to have a lava lamp or some sort of soft light on in the room.

I think he would go absolutely feral for one of those galaxy project lights.

Also he's totally a blanket hog.

Raph:

The second his head hits the pillow he is out.

He could be mid conversation and just pass out. But it's only ever when he knows he can. He's good at staying awake if he needs to keep watch but if he's relaxed he can fall asleep in like 30 seconds.

And he sprawls out when he sleeps. He will starfish.

Or be half hanging off the bed.

And he violently snores.

And talks a little bit in his sleep too but not as much as Mikey, just every once in a while.

His dreams are super mundane. He'll come back from an absolutely wild experience, fall asleep and then dream about like doing the dishes.

But every once in a while he'll get a bad stress dream. I could see it being something social related like humans finding out about them and freaking out, or his whole family being upset with him because of something he did.

I feel like Raph would like a bit of white noise when he sleeps, like a fan or something. He doesn't need it to fall asleep, but he likes it.

Like Leo, he is also a bit of a light sleeper, but he falls asleep again pretty quickly after he wakes up.

Donnie:

He's good at staying awake for long periods of time but once he's out, he's OUT.

Must be physically shaken to wake him up.

He is frequently sleep deprived so every once in a while he will crash and sleep for like 14 hours. Most nights he goes to bed way too late especially when he's working on something but usually when he's finished he'll have a recovery day.

Like I said with Leo, his issue is that he doesn't let himself sleep. He won't actually go to bed he will just suck back coffee and keep doing what he's doing. However, I could see him having similar issues as Leo after Good Genes or SAINW, where he overworks himself at night to avoid spiraling thoughts while he's trying to fall asleep.

I feel like he's bad for being like "Okay I'm going to stop working and actually go to bed" and then instead of sleeping he sits in the dark on his computer on the internet until 4 in the morning.

He curls up when he sleeps he never sleeps just flat on his back.

But he'll always wakes up in a weird position he'll be like upside town on his bed in what looks like a yoga position and be like "How did I get here?"

[animebw]

Seasonal Reflection: Summer 2024 Anime

In my experience, summer tends to be the weakest season for anime basically every year. Not entirely sure why: maybe everyone saves the biggest shows for spring and fall, so the space between gets stuck with the also-rans? Whatever the case, as long as I've been covering anime, summer has reliably been the season with the most disappointments and the least true gems. Except for this year. My god, except for this year. In defiance of the trend, summer 2024 has been absolutely stuffed with exciting anime, so many shows that delighted me in unexpected ways. I'm truly stunned by how many shows I watched that felt like nothing else I've seen before. Anime isn't just coasting through this summer on good enough; it's experimenting, pushing the boundaries, evolving the capabilities of visual storytelling in this medium. Maybe it's not an all-timer season, but it feels fresh in a way I haven't felt in quite some time. And even though the two best shows haven't quite finished yet (Monogatari Off/Monster and the back half of My Hero Academia's seventh season), there's more than enough for me to recommend you a full course of worthwhile anime. So let's buckle down and sort through the shows I watched this season to figure out which ones are worth your time and which ones should be discarded without a second thought.

(And if you see one show conspicuously missing from this list, don't worry- it's just around the corner...)

My Deer Friend Nokotan: Dropped at 7 Episodes

Normally I save discussion of the shows I dropped for brief snippets at the end of my seasonal wrap-ups. But this time, I got far enough into a couple shows before realizing they sucked that I figured I should let you know upfront so you don't get suckered into wasting your time like I did. Because I care about you. So if you were as excited by the batshit crazy meme marketing surrounding My Deer Friend Nokotan as I was, then you should know the actual show completely fails to live up to that bonkers energy. Oh, it certainly tries, but in execution, all the "lol so random" comedy and forced fourth-wall breaks makes it come off like a tryhard reddit troll so irony-poisoned they've forgotten what makes actual people laugh. And that's before it drops a godawful siscon imouto in the second episode, and all the jokes centered around humiliating the protagonist for being a virgin... god, I stuck with this piece of crap way longer than it deserved. If you want an actual hilarious slapstick comedy with batshit off-the-walls energy, just go track down Nichijou and experience the single funniest television show this side of Gintama. You'll have a much better time.

Sengoku Youko: Thousandfold Chaos Arc: Dropped at 7 Episodes

Man, Satoshi Mizukami is turning out to be the most overrated cult artist out there, huh? Sure, I liked Planet With a lot, but between this and the faults in Biscuit Hammer that you couldn't blame on the shitty production, all the beloved works his fans rave about like they're Shakespeare-level literature have completely dropped the ball. And I was excited for Sengoku Youko! The first season was pretty good! And the second season has a really interesting timeskip that reorients the story around a new protagonist and shakes up the kinds of ideas it can play with! But all that's let down thanks to one of the worst written female co-protagonists I've seen in a long time. God, Tsukiko is the worst. She's introduced as the strongest swordsman in her village, but all she does on screen is lose, get captured, act subservient to all the men around her, get captured again, and fall instantly in love with the guy who bisects her father in half. But don't worry, just wait until she's all grown up! Then we can add in gross sexual assault comedy complete with boob jiggles! Wow, what a mature and life-changing treatise on the human condition! Yeah, eat me. This is sexist garbage plain and simple, and there's too much good anime to waste time on the ones that can't clear the astronomically low bar of not being degrading to women.

ATRI: My Dear Moments: 3.5/10

There is so much I wish I could like about Atri. Its vision of a post-climate disaster world rebuilding from rising sea levels feels like the Studio Key/Ghibli crossover I've been dreaming of for ages. And it pulls at so many interesting threads; the meaning of community, the purpose of progress, disability, transhumanism, all wrapped up in a suitably sappy emotional package. And none of that matters. Because it's all secondary to the true purpose of this anime: justifying a romance between a near-adult and a robot girl who doesn't read any older than ten, complete with writing than infantilizes and sexualizes her at the same time. Because god forbid any of this high-concept melodrama be allowed to stand without making you feel like you should be put on a watchlist for engaging with it. Luckily, most of those worldbuilding philosophical ideas also pretty much fall apart by the end, so at least you don't have to feel conflicted about skipping this one wholesale. Christ, I miss Jun Maeda more every day.

Suicide Squad Isekai: 4/10

So this feels like it should've ended up either way better or way worse than it did. I mean, an unholy amalgamation of anime's absolute worst subgenre with the laughingstock of mainstream Western comics, written by the author of Re:Zero of all people? This should've either been a trainwreck of apocalyptic proportions or somehow wrapped back around to being an genuine lightning-in-a-bottle masterpiece. Or both! But instead, it's just sort of... there. It exists. It's DC supervillains transported to an isekai world to fight other DC supervillains and fuck around with fantasy nonsense, and I can barely think of anything else to talk about. I guess the isekai world itself is a lot more creative than the usual Dragon Quest knockoff? Character banter's alright? But it feels like all the effort here went into a very select assortment of things that the creators actually cared about- Harley's character design, a handful of genuinely awesome fight scenes- and everything else was just left flailing by the wayside with the laziest and least interesting execution, on a story and production level alike. You're better off just looking up clips of the best fight scenes on Youtube or wherever and giving the rest a pass.

Sakuna of Rice and Ruin: 4.5/10

This is one of those frustrating shows that doesn't really do anything wrong, but never manages to amount to more than that. It's a solid little tale about an immature young harvest goddess banished to an island somewhere in Heaven to learn maturity by growing rice, coming to terms with her grief for her lost parents and coming to respect the mortals who worship her along the way. And every stop of that character journey makes sense, with the progression from brash, arrogant hothead to mature, kind protector never feeling rushed or shortchanged. But ultimately, I think Sakuna just skews to young to be of interest. It's too basic in its moralizing and messages, as well-handled as they are, always taking the simplest and most obvious story route to get where it's going as if it assumes this is your first time watching anime and it doesn't have to try to be more complex than that. Well, there's that one weird episode where aliens randomly show up for a minute and are never addressed again, but that's not the good kind of complexity. I guess if you've got young kids, this is a perfectly fine show to put on for them; they might even get a lot out of it! But if you're over the age of, like, seven, you can get everything it offers better elsewhere.

Bye Bye Earth: 5/10

I've been staring at the screen for minutes trying to figure out how to properly describe Bye Bye Earth. But no matter what, nothing I come up with feels adequate to capture just how much of an incomprehensible fever dream this show is. The best way I can think to describe it is "Show Don't Tell" taken to its absolute extreme, a fantasy world where almost nothing is explained in clear terms and none of your preconceptions can be taken for granted. Swords that grow from roots, a city split into good and evil, battles that play out like giant orchestral processions, gender-shifting mermaids, elder gods that forbid travel between countries, girls hatching from eggs, an army of spiritual emptiness, plants that are more like animals than vegetation, so many insane and unique concepts that are treated as if they're commonplace facts any layperson would know. It feels like a show beamed in from an alternate dimension where the world's basic logic just does not function in the same way ours does, as if all these wild worldbuilding ideas are as familiar and universal as the sun in the sky and the moon at night. Does that make it a good show? A bad show? I honestly don't think it matters. All I know is that as utterly inscrutable as Bye Bye Earth is, I was glued to the screen every week wondering what demented sights it would show me next. At least until the penultimate episode had an astonishingly horrible rape scene that ended the whole affair with a black, bitter taste in my mouth.

Spice and Wolf (2nd Cours): 5/10

Good news, everyone: new Spice and Wolf is finally out of the material already covered by the first show and onto the new stuff! It only took nineteen goddamn episodes, but there's finally a reason for this new adaptation to exist beyond poorly regurgitating the timeless stories already covered back in 2008! Was it worth it? Honestly, jury's still out. The one new arc we get at the end of this season is a solid Spice and Wolf entry with all the slow-simmering romantic tension and well-realized economic conflict that makes this story so enduring. But considering how much time we wasted getting here, I still can't shake the feeling that this whole endeavor has been the most pointless remake in the history of anime. It would've been a much better idea to pick up were the original show left off and jump right into the new material rather than waste a whole season repeating what's already been done. So who knows, maybe I'll feel different once season 2 rolls around and we actually get all that new, previously unadapted story this remake supposedly exists to cover. I hope it's good! But I'll probably still recommend skipping all but the last six episodes of this season, cause even at its best, it just doesn't hold a candle to the original's sense of lived-in atmosphere and subtle majesty. Just go watch the original, it's still a classic and deserves to be celebrated on its own terms.

Dead Dead Demons Dededededestruction: 6/10

Okay, look: is this a good show? Absolutely. Should you watch it? No, you should not. Why? Because after the penultimate episode, I cracked and read the manga, and it's just better in every conceivable way. Better artwork, better pacing, more detail that provides critical thematic and emotional context for most of the big political machinations, and a sheer mastery of the form that this mostly straightforward adaptation just can't measure up to. Whatever criticisms I have of Inio Asano as a writer, there's just no one else who can use the medium of manga in such heartbreaking, evocative ways. Even the moments I liked most from this show become so much more spectacular under his guiding pen. But most importantly? For some unfathomable reason, this adaptation takes one of the manga's penultimate arcs- a huge, paradigm-shifting flashback that completely recontextualizes the entire story in explosive and jaw-dropping ways- and shoves it close to the very beginning. It's one of the single most baffling choices I've ever seen in adaptation, completely robbing the arc of its context and ruining the impact it was originally intended to have. For that reason alone, I can't possibly recommend watching Dededede over reading the manga. And at least that way, you can totally skip the disappointing final volume that feels like a half-baked sequel pitch cut short halfway through development!

Mayonaka Punch: 6.5/10

Do you guys remember Ya Boi Kongming? That show from a few years back that somehow took the premise of "3rd century Chinese war strategist becomes a modern pop idol's manager" and turned it into a genuinely wonderful time? Well, the same writer and director have reunited for the first original work- and it's about cringefail lesbian vampire Youtubers. If I have not already sold you on Mayonaka Punch from that description alone, I'm afraid you're a lost cause. This is the most delightfully chaotic show of the season, buoyed by an endlessly dynamic cast of losers, misfits and morons who put the "suck" in "bloodsucker" in all the best ways. But even moreso than the constantly creative ways it finds to mash vampires and Youtube together, what's most impressive about Mayonaka Punch is how damn well it understands the influencer age. More than any other anime I've watched, it really gets the intricacies of the content grind, parasocial relationships, toxic comments, cancel mobs, and the thousands of contradictions that underline the simple desire to create something awesome and share it with millions worldwide. Because this team is simply that damn good at exploring the full, genuine ramifications of even the most insane premise imaginable. Sadly, its emotional moments aren't nearly as strong as Kongming's (save for one truly tearjerking episode in the first half), and the ending feels like a half-conclusion trying to keep things open for a sequel. So here's hoping we get a season 2 at some point that tightens up the screenwriting and lets this show blossom into its full potential.

Twilight Out of Focus: 6.5/10

There are two things anime desperately needs more of: good BL romance, and couples that actually explore sex in their relationships. Luckily, Twilight Out of Focus is here to give us both at the same time, three times over. This is a sweet, sensual anthology series about three gay couples that develop in the same high school film club over the course of a couple years, each one refreshingly different in personality and what aspects of film-making the story explores with them. I do wish it dived a little deeper into the more technical aspects of the craft at times, but that's not really where its focus lies (heh). It's more about how the various characters interact with film-making than the art itself, and what those interactions say about them as people and parts of a couple. And with evocative direction, charming voice acting, and a clever script that packs a lot of development into twelve episodes without feeling overstuffed, it's more than effective in its goals. Just be aware the first arc tackles some heavy topics like abuse and pedophilia, so watch tactically if those are sensitive or triggering subjects for you. They're handled well, to be clear, but just be prepared.

Days With My Stepsister: 6.5/10

I'm of the firm opinion that you can make a good story out of anything. Doesn't matter how tawdry, trashy, lowbrow, juvenile, or inherently distasteful the subject matter; with the right execution, any starting point can be shaped into something wonderful. Or maybe that's just what I'm telling myself to justify how the show about step-siblings falling in love ended up one of the most captivating anime I watched all season. But can you blame me? I don't know what kind of wizardry first-time director Souta Ueno pulled, but it's clear he understood exactly what can make a story like this so compelling, and he delivered that vision with some of the most immersive, mesmerising, and downright poetic cinematic storytelling in TV anime. Cinematography that sinks you into the characters' feelings like a stone plunging into an abyssal pool, symbolism that makes even the most basic lines of dialogue bleed with unspoken nuance, fuck, even the sound mixing feels like it's communicating hidden depths beyond the simple words on the page or development of the plot. It's a tour-de-force powerhouse of directoral talent that left me in awe every week, even as the side characters fall victim to much tropier writing and the inevitability of the oncoming incest romance makes the back half buckle with discomfort. I'd be hard-pressed to call Days With My Stepsister a masterpiece, but it is absolutely an achievement worth celebrating, and I look forward to seeing where Ueno takes his talents next.

Too Many Losing Heroines: 7/10

You know that feeling when you watch a show and it makes you mad not because it's bad, but because it doesn't seen to trust how good it is? That's the feeling I got over and over again watching Too Many Losing Heroines. It's bogged down by the kind of tasteless, degrading fanservice you usually see in bottom-tier light novels, written by authors who know they're crap and try to paper over their mistakes with accidental pervert scenes. It's the kind of desperation that screams of a show shooting for the lowest common denominator because it knows it has nothing of actual substance to offer. Except Too Many Losing Heroines is actually really fucking good and doesn't need these scenes at all? It's blisteringly funny, outrageously silly, often tasteless in actual fun ways, and a genuinely sincere exploration of the many forms romantic rejection can take and how people process it. I'm not kidding, this show almost made me cry at multiple points with how it embraces the power of friendship in the face of adolescent angst. So why do we still have these stupid fucking boob jiggles and accidental gropings that contribute nothing except making it infinitely harder for me to recommend this to normal people? Why does so much anime just not trust itself on its own merits when it has something truly worthwhile to offer?

Shoshimin: How to Become Ordinary: 7/10

Like many anime fans, I have struggled to accept the cruel reality that Hyouka is likely never getting another season. KyoAni almost never returns to a series after leaving it dormant for this long, and with the director's tragic death in the 2019 arson attack, I doubt the surviving staff who knew him would want to take on such a heavy burden (before you ask, Dragon Maid season 2 was already in production before Takemoto passed). So if you've been missing author Honebu Yonezawa's penchant for meta-commentary mysteries as much as I have, then good news, here's another one of his works adapted to animation! Just don't expect it to be as warm and comforting as Hyouko, because whereas that show was all about the joy of seeking the extraordinary within the ordinary, Shoshimin is equally obsessed with the consequences of it. It's the story of two viciously abnormal high school students who know the way they interact with the world is alienating them from it, but just can't stop themselves from enabling each other's thirst to puzzle and out-think and understand. It's like watching two serial killers struggling to assimilate into normal society, except their only weapons are their intellect and their biggest victims are their own ability to feel at home in the so-called "ordinary" world they constantly find excuses to shut the door on. This is, hands down, one of the most fascinating series of 2024, and while its unhurried pace might be a bore for some people, if you've got the patience to let the vibes sink into you, I can't recommend it enough.

The Elusive Samurai: 7/10

There are moments watching The Elusive Samurai when you will swear it's the most beautiful work of animation every produced. Stunning moving backgrounds, jaw-dropping stylistic flourishes that bend the rules of reality, so much fluid detail and shifting perspectives, insane and mind-twisting editing choices... I can't count how many times this show left me staring dumstruck for minutes on end as it piled on moment after moment of the most striking visual artistry I've seen all year. It doesn't manage that level of consistency throughout its run, sadly; there are definitely moments where you feel the shortcuts taken, especially whenever the garish CGI horses are on screen. But there's enough of that brilliance that even if the story was complete garbage, I would still recommend checking this show out for its animation alone. Luckily, the story's pretty good too! It's a bizarre genre-blending historical meta comedy epic that's sort of similar to Gintama in tone, except it's more shooting to sucker-punch you with the most extreme juxtaposition of stupid comedy and gruesome, horrific violence imaginable. It's a tonal whiplash that does not always work, but it manages to weave a shockingly lovable tale of a runaway heir to the throne seeking to rebuild his kingdom not through violence, but through well, elusiveness and choosing the pursuit of life over the glory of death. Add a cast of charming sidekicks and some of the most comically loathsome bad guys in recent memory and you've got a recipe for a very good time. Now please let the cute halberd girl do more stuff in season 2. It's what the people deserve.

Senpai is an Otokonoko: 7.5/10

Love triangles are a trope I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. Most times it pops up in a story, I feel my skin crawling back into my bones trying to escape the cringe. So how do you get a love triangle I don't just love, but actively root for all three possible outcomes? Well, placing it at the heart of a queer coming-of-age story with a trio of kids grappling with self-loathing and the desire for acceptance certainly helps. Doubly so when that story is executed with as much love, understanding, and joy as Senpai is an Otokonoko. What seems like a fraught premise at first- a girl confesses to her female classmate before finding out she's actually a cross-dressing boy- quickly evolves into a genuine exploration of Japan's queer identity, from the stigma of being seen as gay to the struggle to understand one's own gender identity, to even asexuality! And it's always handled with genuine affection for the people at hand, seeking to uplift queer experiences and prove that no one, no matter how "different," is deserving of a place to belong in this great big world. The production values may be modest and a little too reliant on chibi cut-in gags, but out of all summer's offerings, this is the show that spoke to me the most, and I can't wait for the recently announced movie finale to bring Aoi, Makoto and Ryuji's story to a close.

Dropped:

Tower of God Season 2- Dropped at 2 episodes for being a butt-ugly downgrade of the first season with all the same writing problems.

Narenare: Cheer For You- Dropped at 2 episodes for being utterly vapid.

The Magical Girl and Evil Lieutenant Used to be Arch-Enemies- Dropped at 2 episodes for having the dullest submissive doll of a protagonist.

[goosemixtapes]

max's top 10 books of 2024

past top tens in this tag! as always, these rankings are based on some unspecified combo of objective "goodness" and personal enjoyment. books beneath the cut :3

first off, as usual, our BOOKS I LOATHED category. shout-out to: i, claudius by robert graves (SHAME! SHAME! THE TV SHOW IS SO GOODBADCAMP!) and rhinoceros by eugene ionesco (very real argument about fascism; very fucking boring execution). shout-out also to king cheer and immortal longings, both of which were quite bad but which i wouldn't say i "loathed" so much as "they sent me into spirals of shakespearean madness."

my most anticipated 2025 release is the sea eternal by emery robin. also, alecto the ninth again

okay. the meat of the matter. i read SO many good books this year (and so much good short fiction), so lots of runners-up: brotherless night by v.v. ganeshanathan (absolutely gutting with some of the most gorgeous prose i've ever read), white pearl by anchuli felicia king (set in an asian beauty corporation rocked by scandal; filled the succession-shaped hole in my heart), fairview by jackie sibblies drury (this play is doing the coolest fucking things with fourth walls), luster by raven leilani (i adore the main character so much and she is NOT thriving), and the his dark materials series (i wish i had read these as kids, but i'm also glad i have miltonic context?). thank you to my professors for half of these

OKAY. THE LIST!

10. Dare Me by Megan Abbott

i expected a thriller about toxic friendships and evil cheerleaders; i was not expecting this to REWIRE ME. the DYNAMICS in this fucking book. the ugly violent homoerotics and the empty hunger of white suburbia. the tenderness of the grooming. the constant unspoken looming specter of lesbianism. the constant sense that the main characters are teetering on the edge of disaster. BETH CASSIDY YOU ARE ONE OF THE CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME YOU MAKE ME FEEL BONKERS BATSHIT CRAZY. i need to send everyone in this book the lesbian masterdoc goodbye

9. Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehesi Coates

okay i know everybody raves about ta-nehesi coates' writing so i wasn't exactly SURPRISED this was good. but i WAS still knocked off my feet by the beauty of this book. this is an extended letter to coates' son on the experience of being a black man in america, and every single page is glowing with heartbreak--for all the black people destroyed and endangered by white supremacist society--and love--for everyone who keeps living, for the world, and for coates' son. i wrote down sooooo many quotes that struck me in the chest

8. Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin

kind of no fucking idea what to say about this book because my sense memory of it is just a whirlwind of "ack augh ough." the way this book envelops you in the psychological and emotional tumult of fourteen-year-old john grimes is crazy and intense and then baldwin DOES IT AGAIN in a series of interludes from other characters. this is about one day in john's life and his experience in the church, but it's also about the exhilarating terror in/of religion and the pain of growing up and the agony of antiblackness and the quiet terror of realizing your parents are fallible and human. and also a little bit about being gay for your youth pastor. did people lose their fucking minds in 1953 when this book came out because i would've

7. Lost Places and Sooner or Later Everything Falls Into the Sea by Sarah Pinsker

favorite author i discovered this year is definitely sarah pinsker, whose short stories mostly have in common that they are strange and whimsical as hell and make me want to crawl into her brain. i can't decide between her two short story collections, so i'm putting them both on here because they were SO fucking fun to read. between the two, some of the short stories include: a horror story told through a folk music genius lyrics page! a robot arm that identified as a road! a kid yelling the lines in the 1920s movie theater! george gershwin! girl scouts! and my favorite, a batshit crazy agatha christie homage set at a convention of dozens of alternate-universe sarah pinsker selves! (which you can read online!)

6. Paradise Lost by Erin Shields

look. there are aspects of this play--a modern reworking of milton's epic poem, featuring hot middle-aged woman satan--that are too on-the-nose. but holy fucking shit, the irreversible things milf satan has done to my brainstem. maybe i'm just a fucking ex-catholic but some of the speeches in this play made me feel like i was being tumbled in a heavy-duty washing machine. also, fascinating things going on with script format here. i wrote an insane transgender satan monologue for my paradise lost class because of this play. (also shout-out shields' king lear adaptation/prequel, left off my list for space but it's REALLY fucking fantastic)

5. In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

okay we all know in the dream house. but i'm here to sing its praises anyway, because reading it feels like walking into a woodchipper. this is a memoir about abuse and an experiment with form and a raw open organ placed directly in your hands. machado's prose is genuinely fucking crazy good; she has such a gift for scalpel-like precision in every sentence, and everything about this book is so carefully-crafted and feels like getting clocked in the teeth. there's a choose-your-own adventure section where the result is always the same. for personal reasons i read this at a weird time and it made me want to get on my knees on the carpet and hack like a sick cat

4. Nobody Knows My Name by James Baldwin

i read this essay collection two weeks into the year and i knew it was going to be one of the most stunning reading experiences of 2024. the first page knocked me flat on my ass and it never let up. he manages that thing so few authors can do, where his eloquent and precise prose is exactly as deft as his observations are perceptive and sharp. his work cuts straight to the truth of things. i finished this book grieving the fact that baldwin died before i was born--because he can't comment on current events? because i can't see him speak live? because i felt some kind of connection to him through the words despite knowing he was not writing for some random college kid in the backseat of a car? anyway i am a groupie now

3. Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

reading this and then in the dream house back to back was like self-trepanation. why did i do that. what in the name of god can i even say about this book. what IS there to say. all the best of fantasy and all the best of humanity are in here in under 300 pages and it made me cry and i have thought about it ceaselessly since and i can't say anything without spoiling the fun because you REALLY ought to go in blind. um. girls, do you like, um... the labyrinth?

2. Angels in America by Tony Kushner

ohhhhhhh my god. oh my fucking god. i mean it with my full chest when i say that this is thee defining dramatic work of modern america. play that is about jewishness and gayness and AIDS and love and sickness and the anxiety of modernity and getting boners and prophecies from reactionary angels. and roy cohn is there. this was written at the end of the 20th century and yet it still hits exactly as hard if not harder in 2024 ("in the twenty-first century we will all be insane" yeah for REAL). it's the play of all time. it's one of the most things ever written. i am going to think about it every day of my fucking life. truly impossible to overstate this one

1. The Stars Undying by Emery Robin

and yet AIA is still my #2, because my #1 is a book i think may have been written specifically for me. like, so much for me that i'm furious i didn't write it. that book being a space opera rendition of cleopatra's life story, featuring insane butch mark antony and bisexual love triangles and CICERO? CICERO IS THERE? this is a slowish character-driven story that wouldn't work if gracia's narration wasn't so stirring and self-aware, but it is, and she is, and she's fascinating and has everything wrong with her, and i am obsessed with the things this book is doing with history and legend and the reception of these figures and also ROMAN HISTORY JOKES IN SPACE!!! and i want anita decretan so bad it makes me look stupid. emery robin do you want my credit card information

if you've read this far, please pitch in with your own favorite reads of the year! what books are you excited for in 2025? :)

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Random Merlin Rewatch: Where a random number generator gives me a season and an episode from BBC Merlin; and then I comment on it as I go.

Today's episode: Season 2 Episode 11 - The Witch's Quickening

First off, before I start. It's got Mordred on the cover, so I'm assuming it's the episode where Merlin tries to kill little baby Mordred? And bby Mordred fucking shows off some of his magic in it as well. Don't remember much else but that, so.

LET'S FUCKING GO INTROOOOOOOOOOO

Oh, it's that ugly ass blonde guy that's gonna manipulate Morgana or whatever it is. Ugh. I don't like him. Glad to see him on the floor, but I know it's all a ruse.

Why is every Camelot knight fucking useless, y'all cannot be serious right now.

Was he. Fucking floating or something??? That looked goofy as shit, brother. Loser.

LET'S GO MUSICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

It is a testament that Camelot must have a lot of different knights and guards, 'cause they don't recognize the guy but that's alright. I'm assuming they're so used to seeing each other with the helmets that they just. Forget each other's faces?? I don't know, maybe it's me, but I can recognize a face.

Oop, not Merlin snooping in on some random telepathy convo.

Before that, I wanted to comment. Absolutely bonkers that they're carrying Mordred (? maybe) inside a barrel. At least I'm assuming that's what they're doing.

That must've been so goofy to film, thank god colin just puts his whole pussy into everything he does.

A rare occasion of some guards being useful. Too bad magic's a thing, huh.

Does the druid speak give Merlin headaches?? Poor boy looks like is getting one. Also he looks so comfy.

NOT MORDRED INSIDE THE BARREL, MY GOD. That cannot have been comfy. Also him just. getting out like that. So creepy, I respect it.

Oh the two people just lifting him up like that, he's so smol!!

Why does the blonde guy has such a slutty shirt, wtf.

Why is Morgana sleeping with a big ass bracelet on, girl, take that off!!! You don't need it babe.

Morgana smiling :((((( My love.

OOP ICONIC ARTHUR CHOKING MERLIN UP THE WALL SCENE, LET'S GO

Ohhh the way Arthur just get's so protective when Merlin tells him they're in Morgana's chambers. They love each other so much, I'm SICK.

Ugly ass man, no one asked for you to talk, BITCH. fucking Alvarr or whatever the fuck, he can suck my dick, his vibes are SO OFF.

Morgana is so empathetic, like, she GETS IT!!! Of course she has some degree of privilege by being Uther's ward, but she is so fucking afraid everyday of being found out!! I'm SICK.

NOT MERLIN GETTING ALL GIDDY BY A COMPLIMENT FROM ARTHUR, OUGHHHHH

Hate seeing Morgana get so manipulated, hate it hate it, I'm SICK OF IT, LET MY GIRL LIVE HER FUCKING LIFE

EWWWW GET AWAY FROM HER, EWWWW

AHHHHHHHH MORGANA'S ACTING IS SO GOOD, FUCK I LOVE THIS SCENE, SO GOOFY!!!

She's so gorgeous. But also I love Merlin's little head tilt at Morgana's excuse "Don't you think if there was someone in my room, I'd know about it?" because, frankly, no you wouldn't!! And merlin knows this, but she says it with so much confidence they just take it.

Damn, Arthur getting so sassy n aggressive 'cause he was so scared of finding a horrific scene in Morgana's chambers, and now he's got nothing but Merlin to let out steam to. Damn, damn, boys.

I don't Mordred understands that his role in this mission is nothing more than just ensuring they get the crystal via manipulating Morgana with his existence. Very sick game Alvarr is playing. But Mordred could also be in the know. Hmmm.... we'll see.

Merlin IS very smart, he understands people, but most of all he understands magic users and what they need to do to survive, even if it means sacrificing yourself for others to survive.

Ough, that braid and that green dress. Morgana is just stunning.

"I was looking for Arthur." immediately looks down, guilty as fuck. Morgana is a good liar, but that doesn't mean she likes it all the time. This is Merlin, someone she supposedly trusts. And she is committing a serious crime. Tense.

God, I do love the aesthetics of this show. Love it love it, the fire, the stone walls, everything. And they never played about the clothes.

Merlin can never sleep in peace, and Arthur can never eat in peace.

Well. I do have to say, I was wondering why Arthur's door wasn't locked if he's known to be away. Merlin babe that's kinda on you, you should've locked it :///

Love the difference between Merlin apologising to Arthur n him just walking away, and then Uther being very harsh to Arthur for the same reason. Something something if Arthur can, he'll bear the burden/blame of others since he already feels responsible for a whole kingdom even as a prince, so what's more of that weight on his shoulders right? Technically, the fault is Merlin's but if Arthur can help it, Uther will never know it. He cares so much for Merlin.

Arthur lying through his teeth for Merlin, ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

This damn fucking dragon, fuckkkkkkkkkk

"Because you don't have a choice." OOP MERLIN ATE WITH THAT ONE.

God, the way Kilgarrah talks abt Morgana, I hate it!! UGH

Hm. The fact that Mordred possibly can use the crystal but Morgana can't (KIlgarrah's words). Interesting. So, from least to most poweful: Morgana<Mordred<Merlin.

Gwen just trying to spend as much time with Morgana because I bet they normally chat and stuff.

Oof, the mix of anger/fear/apprehension on Gwen's face with "My Lady." i bet it doesn't happen often when Gwen is reminded that Morgana is a lady and has the power to fucking execute her at will, she's that powerful. It must be so scary when she gets reminded of that. Of course, she knows Morgana would never; but what if?

The difference between Morgana's pristine tall white horse and Merlin's smaller black horse. Love that. Loveeeee it.

Oof. The fact that Morgana balks at Alvarr and his strategy of just. Killing anyone at Uther's side, even innocents. Like, she just cannot understand that, but!! She's at her most vulnerable at this time. Right now, she's not sure what's right or wrong. She doesn't know if what she thinks it's the right thing to do anymore, if it's what's needed for magic to be free, for her to be free of this fear and be herself. Is cruelty the answer? Is she being too merciful? I wonder if these are thoughts that she's having, knowing that what feels right is that she doesn't want to kill civilians, just bring Uther down. But what if her approach is wrong, and they fail, and it makes it all worse? What is there cannot be any "half measures"?

DONT FUCKING TOUCH HER BITCH EW

"I dont want to be alone anymore." THIS!!!! This is what leads to Morgana becoming what she becomes in season 3. Ultimately, she feels so alone. What other friends she has besides Gwen? Arthur? And now those two are poisoned because of her secret. She doesn't know if she can trust them fully anymore. She was already bitter, and full of hatred for Uther, and she was already capable of being ruthless and brave. But this? Being alone? This is what sets her off at her path. Even if she has allies, in the end she will always feel isolated, separated, alone. Even with Morgause. The second she gets into the mindset of "I have nothing of value to lose." She goes down Uther's path. The second she convinces herself that everyone either wants her dead or gone or whatever, she's on Uther's path. And Morgause doesn't count; she helps with this actually. Because Morgause is also very isolated and alone, but still puts herself in a certain distance with Morgana. Yes, they're sisters, they're High Priestesses. But they know their roles are much grander than themselves. Morgause even makes Morgana sacrifice her for their shared goal. The connection she has with Morgause only intensifies this idea that Morgana does not need others, she has a purpose outside of herself, and nothing else matters. This is what leads her down Uther's path. And once you start self-destructing, you realize how easy it is; and how much harder it becomes to put yourself back together again.

EWWWW THEY ALMOST KISSED!!! Another proof that Morgana is just so desperate for connection. First sign she sees of pure acceptance without fear she wants to dive right into that "safety". Ugh. Hate Alvarr and his manipulation.

EWWWWWWWW FUCK I HATE THIS GUY BROOOO

Oop, cult leader esque vibes. Should've known.

Not Gaius straight up telling Merlin "Let's lie to the King." Bet Merlin teases him abt that.

Goddd, I love their sibling banter. Also love how Arthur just cannot seem to tell when someone's hiding something when they're someone he truly deeply loves n trusts. Hope that doesn't bite him in the ass or something.

DON'T FUCKING KISS HER EWWUHHHH

Not Arthur just bullying the fuck out of Merlin. Too bad he's too busy listening to a telepathic convo.

THIS IS SO FUNNY, MERLIN JUST BEING LIKE "There's a footprint!!! (Oh fuck it's not enough, um-) LOOK!! MORE!!!"

"Yes they are" says Merlin prophetically and then somebody get shot with an arrow. Seriously, how did nobody get that Merlin was a sorcerer?? Did they just think he was. very weird???? Actually, that's exactly it.

Not Merlin aiding in the death of a child.

And just like that, another part of the prophecy solidified. Welp!!

Not Merlin seeing what Kilgarrah will do if he releases him and then that's exactly what he does.

OUGH??? MORGANA SENDING AWAY THE GUARDS WITH JUST A FLICK OF HER HAND??? HOT?????

OOP??? I FORGOT HOW HARD SHE WENT IN THIS SCENE HOLY SHIT???? This was, lowkey, Morgana sealing her fate. She was just so done with being passive and just taking the luxury of being Uther's ward. She saw what Alvarr and the druids and anyone with magic has had to do to survive and to end this reign of terror and she got so sick of just being on the side-lines. No wonder it was so easy for her to just betray them past this point. To her, she was already alienated from Uther and Camelot and everything it stands for. Alvarr being sentenced to death, not even telling the whole truth of her aiding him, radicalized her here. The title of this episode makes so much sense, this is Morgana getting more and more cold and ruthless towards Camelot whether before she just hated it and suffered under it. Go off queen.

OUGHHHH NOW THAT BROKE UTHER'S HEART, DAMN!!! She fully just. resigned from this family (I don't think she's fully processed that this means resigning from Arthur as well, she's just so focused on Uther).

OUGH THAT LAST LINE. UTHER'S SHOOK BITCHHHHH

"The future is as yet unshaped." This is why I believe destiny is not set in stone, but!! Once you do a set of actions, one path of the future solidifies and it is basically impossible to erode yourself out of it. But not truly impossible.

Morgana lying to Gwen, separating herself more n more from those she loves but that could hinder her new path. Oof...

Not Morgana bribing the guards with alcohol, jesus they're so stupid.

Fucking HATE ALVARR UGHHHHH

Oh, the way that Uther knows, and Morgana knows he knows, but Uther just cannot bear the thought of the truth, cannot say it out loud. OOOOOHHHH DELICIOUSSSSSSSSS

Damn what a good ass episode bro. This is really where we see Morgana become herself, I guess; or the hateful, ruthless version of her. It is both sad but so freeing to see. But I do think she only really wanted Uther to be gone, her hatred for Arthur and Merlin came later, through Morgause and her manipulation, but also their own actions.

[leafdragon16]

CAME HERE FROM AO3 AND I JUST WANNA SAY

Horror Show has me going feral. Absolutely bonkers. Bouncing off the walls. I'm going to explode.

Can I draw fanart? 👀

THE AO3 GANG GAINS A NEW MEMBER

OBLIGATORY DOODLE

Thank you so much!! Y’all are so nice I’m gonna cry

YES YOU CAN. I WOULD EXPLODE ACTUALLY. I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

[penofpenguin]

Hi! I was wondering how you think Vil, Riddle and Lilia would react to a best friend that finally trusts them enough to show them the full extent of their emotions? Usually they'll bite their tongue so they come across as relatively calm and collected when something bad happens, but now they trust Vil, Riddle or Lilia enough to show them how they shake in anger or twitch in anxiety at something bad that happened, trying not to throw pillows at the wall as they try to deal with their h e a v y emotions

Aight aight anonn :DD

Content Warnings: Mentions of animal abuse on Lilia's part(not graphic)

Their best friend finally shows them their real emotions.

Riddle x GN!Reader, Vil x GN!Reader, Lilia x GN!Reader (PLATONIC)

He's used to seeing you very calm and he's always surprised how. He's the absolute opposite.

He actually wanted to get some tips from you on how to remain calm.

Let's say you're walking through a corridor to his room to have some tea and some guy steps on your foot. He doesn't say sorry but you nod at him with a wave.

Once you do get to his room, which he's been waiting for you in....you go mad.

"Ah, there you a-"

He notices your eye twitching and you saying curses under your breath. He's never...NEVER seen you this ticked off. So he thought it was something really serious.

You face him and you apologize with a laugh.

Once you let him know that you trust him enough with seeing you like this, he feels happy. He's someone you can rely on :)

But he also thinks it's kind of unhealthy to bottle your emotions and thinks you should try letting it out sometime.

He's half of what you are actually. He can be calm and cool when infront of a crowd...or he can go bonkers over Epel spilling milk.

But seeing you so calm and professional during anything bad happening made him very intrigued of you at first.

When you start trusting him, you can feel at ease with your emotions now :)

Say when Grim got into danger, you remained so collected when infront of everyone.

When Vil went into another room to get something, you followed him. You close the door behind you and just sigh very loudly.

"What?" He asks.

"I'm just so......scared. Is Grim....is he gonna be ok?" You start to shake and tears almost form at your eyes. You're banging the floor with your fist, trying not to throw something at the wall.

He's surprised, since he's never seen you this emotional about an issue like this. Once you get the news that Grim is safe though, you decide to tell Vil about how you trust him enough to show your true self.

Just like Riddle, he's glad that you told him and that he's someone you trust deeply.

He'll indirectly ask you some tips on how to stay calm though, since he doesn't want to lose his cool for the silliest reasons.

I doubt you'd be able to even hide your true emotions if this guy's your bestie.

Lilia's very wise and I'm sure he can tell if something's wrong.

He admires your ability to stay calm. He can do it too but he still finds it amazing that you, a human, can be unfazed. He believes that humans are very emotional creatures.

When you do let it out to him, you're mad that a random guy in the street was abusing an animal. He's walking with you when you witness this.

Before you can jump in, the guy runs away and so does the cat, in fear.

"I hate animal abusers. Would they have liked it if someone did that to them?? HE SHOULD BE BORN AS A FLY IN HIS NEXT LIFE!!!" You keep ranting.

Lilia, without batting an eye, listens to you and comforts you like he knows you're always like this.

"There there..."

That's when you tell him about how you are and that you trust him enough to let him see this side of you. This man just smiles and says:

"I know."

Overall, he's always there to lend a helping hand for you. He can even give you some life lessons to help you remain fully calm :D

Hope you enjoyed it!!

Vil is a bit ooc so I apologize. Also don't support animal abuse kids ☝️

Have a great day 💖

- Madeline 🐧