#i'm glad the site is back online anyway

[rachlactoseart]

Hello Welcome Home fandom!

Came here to offer humble art to all of my favorite characters.

It's the first fanart I've done in my entire life for some game/ARG/movie fandom and anything else. I'm very happy that I made something that I liked and I hope that you like it too. Enjoy :)

@clownsuu

A small fanart for one of the artists that motivated me to make these drawings. Your art is amazing, and I love your AU, I hope you like it.

[etz-ashashiyot]

You know, during the 6-8 weeks that I fully stepped away from tumblr, it was in large part made possible by the fact that my personal life has been an on fire dumpster wafting down a stream of sewage (no I will not be elaborating publicly) to the point where I have been utterly incapable of engaging with anything else.

But one very pale upside to this is that, for those 6 - 8 weeks, I was so caught up in my own personal bullshit that I lived in a world where violent antisemitism on the left, violent transphobia on the right, horrific war updates, and the upcoming terrors of the US election and its potential societal fallout didn't exist to me.

And in particular, I was blissfully unaware of any unhinged things the tumblr red-brown alliance goon squad were saying about Jews.

On the one hand, I'm glad my real life has stabilized (a bit. for now.)

On the other hand, coming back to this site for even just a couple days has felt like

So anyway uhh. Hmu on discord if you want to reliably reach me lol. Also don't argue with idiots online... you're never ever ever going to convince them not to be a cesspool, but if you build community offline you're more likely to make a real difference (something most of these idiots cannot even conceptualize let alone do) or at least have IRL friends to weather the storm with.

[lizzieislife94x]

Dating Site (w.m)

Requested <3

 WandaG!PxFem Reader

sorry i haven't posted in a few days guys family came up from England and I've had a full house hahaha anyway i will be posting an AN in a few hours or tomorrow so please check it out when posted love yall thank you for reading as always i hope yall enjoy!

Y/ns POV:

I bite my nails feeling a little nervous as my mind runs wild I have a date tonight well in the next few hours and the thing that's making me nervous is I met her online on a dating site we've spoke on the phone but tonight is our first date her voice is heavenly I could listen to her talk all day and night "y/n coffees getting cold" my roommate yells snapping me out of my thoughts I quickly get up and walk into the livingroom "dude what if tonight goes wrong what if she doesn't like me or something" I sigh taking a sip of my coffee "y/n I see the way you smile at your phone when she texts or calls think positively what if she does like you what if she's the one worst case scenario you get railed by a sexy chick and never speak again" she says with a wink as she gently pushes my shoulder making me laugh "you know what youre right thanks jill" I finish my coffee before heading back to my room to shower and get ready. 

4 hours later:

Me:Hey I just arrived see you soon x 

I set my phone down as I sit at the table waiting for my date just a causal coffee shop date but its a cute little coffee shop my leg starts to bounce as my nervous build up "y/n..." I look up to see the most stunning girl I've ever laid my eyes I feel like all the oxygen has left my body "hey wanda right?" I say with a smile as I stand up to hug her which she returns I quickly pull her chair out for her as she sits "I'm glad you came" I say nervously we fall into a comfortable conversation It feels so natural we spend 3 hours talking getting to know eachother

"I can't believe it's 9pm already can I walk you home" she says with a smile I nod as we walk to my house continuing our conversation "well this is me" I say as we stop infront of my apartment she pulls me into a hug making me smile as I pull away she kisses my cheek "I'd love to go out on another date with you if you'd allow me to take you out" she says looking into my eyes I feel my cheeks flush and nod "yes of course" I say before we bid our goodbyes.

3 weeks later:

"You've been smiling at your phone for 19 minutes " Jill says making me look up "shut up tonight's my 4th date with wanda she's just text details I was thinking of asking her to come up tonight so do you mind if I have the place to myself " I say biting my lip me and wanda have been flirting alot making out and we always stop before it gets heated but tonight I wanna invite her up "oh la la la I can't believe youre on your 4th date and you haven't fucked yet" she says making me blush "dude shut up"

 Wands: See you tonight beautiful *1 imagine attached* 

I spit out my water looking at my phone as I open the picture an image of wanda wrapped in a short towel appearing on my screen oh fuck I can't breathe "what was that for!!" I look over to Jill covered in my water "you got sent a nude Holy shit!" I shake my head "no no I didn't I gotta go get ready bye and sorry" I quickly run to my room closing the door I lean my body against it as I bite my lip I strip to my matching bra and panties as I take a picture in the full length mirror

Me:I spit water all over my roommate thank you very much *1 image attached* 

I put my phone down and remove my bra and panties as I get in the shower I quickly get washed and wash my hair it takes roughly 20 minutes before I climb out and wrap myself in a towel I bite my lip as I walk in excited to check my phone I pick it up and screw my face up as there's no reply I start to type a message

Me: the picturewasn't that bad was it I thought my ass looker rather good in those panties..

I towel dry my hair as my phone dings

Wands: Baby baby baby I'm so sorry I was to busy trying to remember how to breathe then I couldn't take my eyes off the photo and youre right.. fuck your ass looked AMAZING in those panties holy shit

Me: Thank god I thought it was to much and you didn't wanna speak I got scared, I can't wait to see you soon baby and I have the place to myself tonight so I was thinking we could come back here afterwards?..

Wands:I have an idea why don't we just have the date at your apartment we can watch movies make out have a glass of wine or 2 make out talk and make out oh and did I say make out? 😉 

Me: That sounds like a plan I'll see you soon and i uh i dunno maybe we should uh make out?😏 

I put my phone down and I run out in my towel "Jill wandas just coming here for our date if you don't mind heading out please and thank you" I head back into my room and start getting ready since we're staying here I decided to go for short shorts and a tight vest top that shows my cleavage perfectly I throw my hair up in a messy bun as I sit on my bed deciding to watch an episode of friends to kill time 

2 hours later

"OK im off y/n byeee" my roommate yells "ok bye see you tomorrow" I yell back 10 minutes later my phone dings

Wands: I'm here baby 

I quickly run out to let her in as she wraps her arms around me holding me tight "I see you went for the casual look, I love it" she whispers in my ear making me smile as I step back "you look beautiful" i say truthfully as I pull her into the apartment we ordered some pizza as I spent the full time admiring her, her laugh her smile everything "that was some great pizza" she says leaning back as I agree we spend the next 3 hours cuddling watching a friends I feel the urge to kiss her so I sit up and straddle her waist as I sit "mh hey" she whispers as her hands settle on my thighs I quickly press my lips against hers as I start to make out with her the kiss quickly heats up a moan leaving my lips as I feel something hard pushing against my core I look at her a little shocked as she looks down avoiding my gaze I hold her chin gently making her look up at me "hey don't ever be ashamed I'm still here I don't care that you have a dick I find it hot" before I know it her lips smash against mine as we make our way to my bedroom the feeling of her hard member pressed against me only turning me on more "I can't wait to feel you" I pant out against her lips as we fall onto the bed our clothes being thrown everywhere until we're both naked I bite my lip at the sight of her as she does the same "fuck y/n"

she looks at me lust in her eyes as she stops and sits on the bed "I have something I need to say" she says looking nervous I sit up and rub her back "hey you can tell me anything its ok" she turns to look at me taking my hands "I have a BDSM kink" she says low as a giggle leaves my lips "me too I love being tied up" she looks at me shocked as the lust takes over her eyes once again "do you wanna do it" she says turning to me I quickly lean over into my drawer and pull out ropes making her smirk "oh you kinky little slut" her words turn me on more as I lay with my legs and arms spread "tie me up daddy" as soon as I speak the words she flicks her wrists and my arms and legs are tied to the bed I look at her shocked "that's a story for another time babygirl for now just relax if you want me to stop at anytime say Red ok?" I moan and nod as eyes explore my naked exposed body "ok daddy" I whimper as her hands slide up my thighs to my core her fingers spreading my pussy lips as a moan leaves both our mouths "look how wet you are for me princess such a naughty girl" she says as her slender fingers slide into my tight cunt causing me to arch my back and moan "mmmh fuck wands right there feels so good" I moan as she kisses up my body thrusting her fingers perfectly hitting all the right spots her lips latch around my right nipple as she sucks taking no mercy I can't help but scream her name as she curls her fingers hitting my gspot with each thrust "I'm gonna..oh god I'm gonna..cum" I pant as I cum all over her talented fingers my breathing rapid as she slips her fingers out "such a good girl did that feel good baby" I nod as I try to control my breathing "are you ready to take my dick babygirl" she says as she positions herself between my spread legs the sight enough to make me cum again I let out a whimper as she runs her head through my cum soaked cunt "please daddy please" I beg still breathing rapidly I feel her line herself up to my entrance as her hand grabs my tit I feel her slam deep inside me "uh fuck y/n shit your so fucking tight" she moans into my eyes as she starts thrusting "so big so big" I pant desperately needing to touch her to pull her tighter into me "fa..faster daddy" I moan as she starts pounding my cunt faster and harder I've never been this turned on I've never been this wet but fuck me does she do something to me and I love it "yes yes yes!!! Don't stop please oh my fucking god yessssss" I scream as she slams her length into me at a bruising pace her moans in my ear making it harder not to cum "let go princess cum all over my dick" as soon as she whispers into my ear it's game over I cum all over her dick as she continues to pound me faster "fuck wanda cum inside me" she groans and I feel her thrusts become sloppy letting me know she's close "I need to feel you filling me baby p..please" I pant as another orgasm crashes over me after a few more thrusts I feel her deeper than before as she slams inside me shooting her load into my cunt her body collapses onto mine as we both pant trying toget our breaths back "I have never..felt that amazing" I whisper into herear as she sits up and slides out me moaning at the sight "me either baby" she says as she unties me before heading to the bathroom to clean herself and returning with a damp cloth to clean me "now time for lots of cuddles and kisses because you deserve it baby" I smile as she climbs into bed I instantly wrap my arms and legs around her "can we watch more friends please baby" I say with puppy eyes as she giggles "of course we can baby as long as I get to hold you" I smile as i put the TV on and load friends we spent the rest of the night in eachothers arms this is what I want forever with her.

AN: I hope this is ok I always feel these are crap when I write them haha but as long as you sexy people enjoy them that's the important thing requests as always are open babes word count , stay hydrated babes 2.1k

[secondbeatsongs]

Please elaborate on the Judy Blume fact

from the mid-00s to the early '10s, Random House had a website called "Random Buzzers", a place for kids and teens to talk about books

they had fun activities (short story contests, writing prompts, quizzes, etc), and for some of the activities, you got rewarded points, which you could then use to buy books in their online store.

it was a fun time! I really liked writing short stories and poems and stuff for the contests, and this wasn't like (afaik)...predatory? it wasn't something where the site was going to take these stories and use them later, it was just...for fun.

unfortunately, the site is down now, and with it all of the cool stories/art/poems/etc that people made. :/ but thankfully, I have most of my stuff backed up.

anyway! this site also had events where an author would join their discussion forum for a few days to answer a bunch of questions and talk with people. and one time they had Judy Blume join, and I got to chat with her a bit!

I talked about the books of hers I'd read, and showed a picture of my copy of Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, and she told me that she was impressed I had a copy that was so old, and also that she'd always been annoyed with the cover art for that edition, because the cut of Margaret's dress made her look pregnant. xD

I also talked about how because I was homeschooled, I liked reading books about kids going to public school, because I would never know what that was like - and she said that made her wish she had written her books more descriptively, which I thought was sweet.

anyway, we had a nice talk, and she left the forum a couple days later, and that was that.

then, some time later, Judy Blume was at the national book festival, so I went, hoping that she would sign my book. and when I got up to the front of the autograph line, I said, "hi, I don't know if you remember me, but I talked with you once on random buzzers"

and...she did remember me! she knew my username, and that I was homeschooled, and she was excited that I had come to see her, and that she got to sign my book (even if it was a cover design she didn't like xD)

she just seemed really nice, and I'm glad to have had that experience.

[marshallpupfan]

Seeing just how much Marshall merch you got, I've been meaning to ask this for quite a while now but I'm too shy and didn't want to get hopes up (neither mine nor yours)... Anyway I just summoned up courage so let's go for it before I back down again:

Have you, by any chance, ever seen some kind of licensed "self-insert" book?

I know of an online Brazilian book seller who gets licenses to make these kinds of stories. The person goes over to the website, creates their character (like one of those dress up dolls, sort of, picking gender, name, skin color, height, hair, some small variety of clothes and accessories, etc) - they're like "create the child's character" because, well, the stories are aimed for children XD - and then this template-created character is automatically inserted in the chosen book from their gallery. Then, after confirming purchase and payment, the custom book is printed (hardcover, pretty big in size with around 30 pages, the one I checked had 32) and shipped. From what I've seen it's very good quality and the stories are simple but entertaining, inserting the kid into the adventure and having them help save the day in some big way.

They had 4 different Paw Patrol books for that, AND ONE OF THEM WAS A READY RACE RESCUE STORY, which is one of my favorite Marshall adventures (I grew up watching races with my dad) and I've seen somewhere you like this special too - But they're not in their website anymore. I swear it was there barely two months ago! I have some screenshots I took when I did a "let's see how it would look like if I'd buy it".

I could send an e-mail asking what happened and if there's any chance the books will be back available for purchase again. The thing about "not getting hopes up" is just because I'm too poor to buy one of those (it's not even expensive, I'm just actually poor) but I guess I could "bridge" one for you - if they show up again, I mean XD Granted the stories are in Brazilian Portuguese, but I could send along a complete translation too.

Anyway yeah, I just wanted to know if it would be something you'd like to have and if it's a thing somewhere else too or just here??? I've never seen anything like this anywhere else before.

I meant to send all this in the DMs so it would stay between the two of us, but yours are closed (I get it, you got that annoying copycat dude onto you, I saw the post) so I hope you don't mind me sending this as an ask anyway. You can answer me through another ask if you'd like instead of publishing this, no need to follow any of my blogs just to message if you're not comfortable! Hope you're having a good day and enjoying your new merch, those are so awesome!!!

I'm not 100% sure, but I think I've seen something like this sold over here in the United States before. However, I could swear ours did things differently, in that instead of a custom-made character, it used an actual photograph of the child so their likeness would be on the cover and on the pages, itself. At least, I could swear that's what they did, but it's been years since I last seen one, so I could be mistaken.

That's pretty cool to see they used Ready Race Rescue for one of these! I'm always glad to see that mini-movie get more attention. As for why it disappeared from the site, I suspect it's because this sort of thing is a lot more difficult to publish than your typical mass-printed book. Most pages will use that custom-made character, so editing, printing, and shipping it out might take all the longer. Perhaps they just got so many orders and had to remove it for a while to catch up? I'm not sure, but hopefully it returns someday.

In any case, I'm not sure if I'd be interested in something like this for myself, since I'm typically not one to insert my likeness into something or create an original character of sorts that represents me, but I certainly appreciate the offer! I do hope that, someday, you're able to get one for yourself!

[mirakurutaimu]

I know it's a little silly but you having merch makes me real giddy. Like damn I remember the early day streams and look at this imp now!! She got merch! Imp become big!! It's super fun to see. I hope the Mimi plushies come back in the future, bank account was too desolate to snag one now.

hell yeah homie 💜 thanks for all the support over the years!!!

actually, my third anniversary of streaming was THIS WEEK!!! i just forgot about it lmao!!!

some brief thoughts and words on that below the cut

(and maybe someday i'll be able to release a plushie again... maybe cooler stuff... we'll see!!!)

damn remember read mores? i can't believe this site is still around

anyways.

this week marks my third anniversary as a full-time streamer! well, I say "full-time streamer" but honestly I'm not very consistent (or good) at it lmao. don't get me wrong, I love streaming, love hanging out with the chatroom stoners and shooting the shit while playing games or whatever and I'm eternally thankful that I get to pay my bills thanks to the generosity of kindly stoners online. you guys are the best!!! (for the record, none of this is intended to come across as self-deprecating or baiting engagement or anything, I am simply speaking objectively and truthfully)

I feel like my lifestyle (and combination of rotating hyperfixations + debilitating attention problems lmfao) doesn't conduct itself well to being a ""Good"" streamer y'know? can't rightly schedule streams because I never know what kinda vibe a future day is going to have, can never decide what I'd even stream ahead of time, can't stream at a consistent time of day due to tumultuous changes in sleep schedule, can't plan or organize Big Fancy Event streams due to attention problems (tabletop stream coming Soon™️™️™️™️™️), all I ever stream is Defense of the Ancients 2 (I'm sorry my brainworms from my teenage years came back I prommy I'll stream something else. at some point. eventually. maybe. probably. definitely)

despite all that dumb shit, you guys have stuck with me! you're the best!

over the years, my community has helped me pay my bills, helped me move across the planet, helped me better come to terms with long-ruminated thoughts on my gender identity, helped me with hella inspiring art and fan works, inspired me to focus on and improve my own creative endeavors, etc. etc. etc. etc. I truly can't thank you guys enough for the joy you all bring to my life every day!!!!!!

my job title is "Streamer" but in truth, the most important part of this job to me has always been building and maintaining a stable, comfortable community where folks of marginalized identities and the like can come together in a judgement-free chill zone to hang out and inspire each other in. my Discord server is my pride and joy! I love hosting random, unannounced watch parties of the same 5 cartoons at 4:20 AM with you guys, I love hanging out and working on art with you guys, love seeing your art of your characters, etc. etc. it makes me happy that I've been able to provide a cool lil corner of the internet for folks to have a good time in.

so uhhh anyways rambling aside. you folks rule and I'm glad I get to maintain such a cool spot online. dunno where I was going with this other than that. here's to many more years of hanging out and ripping the bong my dudes 🤘👽⚗️

to quote my man chipp zanuff's theme,

BE FREE 'TIL YOU DIE

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

It's true what they say about writing what you want, no matter what people say.

There was this book. Skellig, in english, in the original. I first read it when I was nine, maybe, and our school temporarily had some books we could loan.That was the first book I ever read where I wasn't sure whether I liked it or not, but it made me think and feel and I was glad to have read it. I gave it to my dad, too. We both weren't sure whether we liked it as such. But it was a good book.

Now, what feels like ages later, I randomly remembered its existence. It's been years and this book stuck with me all this time. While searching for it online (it doesn't exist as new edition anymore, and nobody had the one I read back then, which is kinda a shame because that cover was also amazing), I found a site with reviews. And there were a couple of good reviews, but there were just as many if not slightly more bad ones. It made me kinda sad, because I hardly remembered anything of it but I've come t the conclusion that I probably like it, if it's stuck with me for that long, and that the storyline was just....

Yeah. Anyways, I got a second hand copy of the book. I just read it. It's not long. And it still makes me think and feel and there's so much I forgot but the vibe is still exactly the same and I know that I love it.

It's an amazig book. I know some random person complained that the characters weren't relatable; personally, I'm in love with them.That's just what it feels like to be a kid who thinks too much. I don't know.

Anyways, it's a good book. I don't know why I even red those reviews They didn't even bother to to think about it at all; declared subjective reasons and then said the book was objectively bad. But like. Those people exist. I don't care. Those people don't matter.

Skellig is a wonderful story. I loved it as a kid, and now, as a teen, and it's a story that may or may not have influenced the way I think, a lot. I know it will influence my stories now. It makes me think.

There's bad faith readers. But they don't matter. I think it might be one of my favourite books, if I had to choose any.

[not-poignant]

Ooh, cool! Thank you so much for the long reply! A lot of this was genuinely completely new to me -- I'd never known there were ongoing discussions that early, but of course it makes complete sense there were, both on LJ and predating it. I think it also goes to show how well we could self-segregate on LJ, I think moreso than we can now.

I think, in retrospect, that a lot of my experiences with 2000s fandom can be summed up with, 'I was a teenager' and thus wanted to be 'cool'. There was a lot of 'not like other girls'-ism going on in those sporking and Mary Sue comms, and I always just assumed we were all teenagers -- it certainly felt that way. The few people I've kept in touch with from those days have largely grown out of it, though it doesn't surprise to hear there were (and probably still are) grown adults who shit on others' fanfics.

(As an addendum, I could add that slashfic and that sort of 'canon non-compliance' was completely okay in the fandom spaces I ran in back then, but people would get very upset about extremely arbitrary things-- 'transfer students' in HP, changing characters' ages, making up a minor oc side character for plot purposes because all ocs were apparently bad (and especially if female), etc. It was strange which hairs people decided to split.)

Anyway! Thank you VERY much for such a long and in-depth reply! It's cool to see how these things have changed and developed, and I'm glad to see my experience wasn't emblematic of fandom as a whole.

Thanks for such a thought-provoking question! It really got me thinking about how Livejournal was really excellent at creating different sort of pockets of experiences, and in a while is really reflective as proto-social media of like, the big echo chambers we have happening now all across social media! That's really interesting to think about.

For me, it's funny, most of the fandom folks I knew were all older than me, many were in their 40s and 50s while I was in my 20s. Very few teens comparatively were attracted to certain fandoms like The X-Files and NCIS some of the other spaces I was in, so while there were definitely teens, it was like... a different feeling. Like, even these days I find it fascinating how there are 'younger' fandoms (in terms of how many younger folk are in it) and 'older' fandoms.

And yeah you're so right about people getting upset about arbitrary things! And also that um, 'not like other girls' which now itself is kind of mocked by fandom, so things really did come full circle on that front where now it's not cool to be one of the people who says that x.x

Honestly it's hard to be a teenager on the internet! All the things that play out like... all the dynamics, a lot just play out online instead, and they still exist. A person still wants to be cool and accepted and liked (and that's not age specific, like, most of us want a degree of at least some of these lol), and cliques can form very quickly. I remember how bad it felt back then even in my 20s when I got unfriended by a mutual who I thought was a really good friend, that stuff was devastating!

"making up a minor oc side character for plot purposes because all ocs were apparently bad"

Ahaha this is one of the reasons I still sometimes have like apologetic tones in some of my comments about the amount of OCs I add, because yeah that was really disapproved of! I remember that and I still have like... shades of that at times. I'm mostly over it now, but oof I remember the first time I did it and I was like 'is this okay *chews on fingernails* I bet people will hate this because of it.' (And then that turned into Fae Tales so).

The Mary Sue stuff was really aggressively unpacked, like in very popular kind of fandom-friendly journalism spaces at the time, I mean that's how we ended up with the journalism site 'The Mary Sue' in the first place. People really took a stand on that one. In a way, we were all kind of looking at our own attitudes, like, *why* is it bad to do this, or *what* does it mean that a girl feels like they can't be like other girls - is that internalised misogyny (and sometimes it was), and I miss that kind of meta discussion because I do feel it happens a little less now.

There was a time when I didn't like Mary Sues, no one did, though I think that was before I found my first meta community where it was like 'oh people are talking about EVERYTHING I thought was like universally accepted in fandom.' Though we never got that far on how racist fandom could be, which is still an issue, but one that does get talked about (it would just be nice if AO3 talked about it too).

I sadly think a lot of people in their 40s and 50s can act a lot like teenagers in fandom spaces sometimes, some of the antis in like teenage spaces today are like 40s kind of 'guiding them along' this path of moral puritanical righteousness and almost role-modelling how to bully others. And some of the folks running public Sporking blogs were like... older folks who fostered connections to younger folk.

LJ was wild tbh :D

Anyway, it's so interesting to think of all the different pockets we ended up in. I'm sure there's like countless more that we both have no experience of, where someone else would be like 'oh I was in LJ fandom what's a Mary Sue?' and that would be entirely legitimate too. Sometimes it's easy (I fall into this trap) to think of historical fandom as being one thing instead of like a thousand things. So yeah, this was cool! Thank you :D

[macfrog]

hi. hello. you are amazing.

cowboy like me? yeah. had me biting my pillow squealing like a teenager. i had to get up multiple times to listen to music and day dream just to try and push some of the emotion that it made me feel out into the universe.

easily my favorite fan fic i have ever read.

you and a few other accounts on here got me back into fan fic writing after a very long dry spell. we’re talking like, 3 or 4 year dry spell. college is taking up all my time, life gets crazy, the whole shebang, and reading your fics (and a few other peoples as well) really made me realize that writing fan fics was one of the greatest forms of self care for myself that i had been missing out on for quite some time.

your writing was one of the ones i read (is that proper grammar? LMAO) that inspired me to get back at it, and i’ve already published 2 fics in the past 24 hours because of the influx of creativity and the spark i’ve felt from being back on this site. like it’s crazy what immersing yourself in such vibrant, beautiful, gripping fics can do for creative blocks!

i really also just love how you seem and the energy you exude, and you seem so sweet and approachable and i would love to be friends or mutuals or people who only talk occasionally but always keep the same energy sooooo !!!! aghhh. sorry if this comes across as awkward. i have been pretty introverted these past few years as far as the online scene goes bUT ANYWAYS!!! i just wanted to let you know that cowboy like me inspired me and lit this fire in me and holy fucking hell do i love joel miller.

🌸💞💗🐥,

- bell

hi hello bell you are amazing!!!!! wtf this is all so unbelievably kind. thank you so much 🥺 i'm so thrilled that it sits with you in this way. means the absolute world to me

i'm so happy to hear you kicked your writer's block! welcome back !! i and i know plenty other writers can relate so strongly to life getting crazy and time for writing just slipping like sand through our fingers. it is far too easy to forgo self care, but i'm so glad you've rediscovered your passion!

please please always feel free to stop by and talk whenever you feel like! we're allllll pals here. and i will absolutely be adding your fics to my tbr to check them out asap, thank u for letting me know !!! very exciting stuff.

swing by anytime! xx

[paramorearchived]

June 23, 2013

Transcript:

what's cooler than being cool?

..... being yourself. That's what.

I was just thinking the other day... Looking at random blogs, fashion sites, online zines... and I got sad. Mostly because I feel like a lot of the different subcultures that exist today, exist because at some point there was someone who felt like they didn't fit in. (Stay with me.)They had a movement of their own to live for. So they did and maybe at some later point, it caught on or somebody else felt like they could fight for those same things. Maybe it wasn't even a "fight", maybe it was just a way of living. Marching to the beat of their own drum. My Granny always told my sisters and I from a very young age... "You girls just march to a different beat". I didn't really get it back then and honestly, I'm glad I didn't because when I was that young I didn't see the point in pointing out people's differences. It was just a way of living. Still is, I suppose. Or at least, I hope.

I do get it though and I see it in other people now... mostly young people. My sisters, for sure. But in a lot of our fans, as well. Again, mostly in the younger ones. Cause when we're just young enough, we're not yet jaded or bothered by what's "cool". We're not quite as worried about fitting into some of society's little cliques or sub-genres of human beings. So, we just do whatever comes naturally to us. Funny how there's an entire part of our culture completely obsessed with youth and beauty - yet we forget the most essential ingredient to youthfulness is that clean slate, non-judgemental, wide-eyed curiosity. You can't be sold any of that.

Anyway, I got sad because within these subcultures and an entirely new breed of "too-cool kids"... there are likely some people who, at some point, didn't fit in, weren't "normal", and probably needed somewhere to go to feel like they could fully express themselves. I see it everywhere. These are the nerds from junior high that got bullied everyday but then ended up in a band and now they've turned their old loser status into a trophy of pretentiousness to beat everyone over the head with. The guys and girls who wouldn't be caught dead in a regular old mall where they once probably got made fun of for what they were wearing... but are now wearing unique and fun brands like UNIF or Lazy Oaf (which, to be extra clear, I love) and calling everyone else "basic". I'm just saying, why doesn't the cycle end with the people who should've learned their lesson? Why aren't the once regarded weirdos and freaks raising up a new generation of people who are more self-assured in their individuality? Why does it seem like some of the strange ones found their bit of success and now look down on anyone else who doesn't look, think, or have the way they do? It's like seniors who constantly give sophomores a hard time as if they weren't just sophomores themselves like 3 years ago. I was not the most popular person in school. And even when I did have friends I still felt a bit like a weirdo. I'm not threatened by that... It's something that I hope to encourage other people with. That's a huge part of the message behind Paramore. To lift up the people who feel ashamed that they're different. To tell them that that's probably the coolest part about them.

At this very moment, at 24 years old, sitting here in sweats and looking/feeling utterly disastrous (hey, i got my rights)... I have to say, I'm really proud that as a kid I never felt like I fit in with the popular crowd. And as an adult, I don't feel like I fit in with the self-righteously uncool crowd either. Honestly, it's nice to be on a real quest to just be me everyday. No matter what. It doesn't matter if I'm in Silverlake, CA - land of the upturned noses - or back home in Nashville. Doesn't matter if we're on a red carpet. I guess I just couldn't care less. I'm not saying it's always easy but it's always worth it to stay true to you.

If anything, this could be a Back To The Future type of warning, to anybody who cares enough about this post, that high school ends but it never actually ends. There will still be people around who try to point at you and laugh. Who think you're not on some tip like they are. Who feel like their job, their shoes, their money, their boyfriend or girlfriend, their lifestyle ... is on some level that you haven't even ever heard of. The truth is that no one else could live your life. Nobody else - man or woman - could wake up and put on your shoes in the morning. Nobody else could pull it off. So own that. Cool is a lie. Cool doesn't matter and it never did. Merely perception.

In conclusion, you are your own torch carrier. Don't let anybody steal your light. Wear what you want. Think how you want. Challenge normal. And yes, even challenge what's "cool".

In total conclusion... We're really excited to be posting the video for "Anklebiters" in a couple of days. This is not an official single release, this is just a video we wanted to have done because of what the song has come to mean for our band. Thanks to all the people who came up on stage with us over the last tour and a half and sang it with us. This song is our way of contributing to the art of self-love and self-acceptance, no matter the odds.

We love you guys and we love you most when you're being yourself.

xxxxx h

[madhatterplushies]

Disregard my previous ask, I saw a post of yours saying your shop will be re-opening in 2024

Figure I'll post an answer for folks generally anyways since I'm terrible at posting these things regularly xD

For anyone else confused by the current shop landing, it is currently password locked temporarily! This is because I'm working on re-doing a lot of the website and shop and might even move platforms??

A lot of my listing photos are really old and many items either need new photos due to updated designs/materials or they don't have polished photos to start with lol

I recently updated the look of my main site and dropped a little blog post there (which Im guessing is what you found and if so I'm glad its helped someone at least xD) but there's definitely some more changes to come and fingers crossed it will be a back-end change too that lets me keep everyone updated much more easily 💦

I've been focused a lot on patreon, conventions and my own health for the last couple years which did leave the shop kind on a back burner. Health stuff is starting to settle down and I'm getting much better at con prep 🎉 There's some catching up and some changes I'm planning for patreon but I very much want to shift the online shop back into the mix properly starting next year!

At this point my plan is to do regular themed restocks during convention breaks (themes like halloween, studio ghibli, new design drops, etc). November - March are months that should see regular restocks in the future based on my usual convention schedule but things are always subject to change of course xD

If folks have questions Im always happy to answer asks! :D

[theradicalscrivener]

Good gnus bad gnus time.

I pulled an all nighter earlier this week and knocked out the finale for CDE. All totalled it's like 13 or 14 chapters plus an epilogue. It was def a labor of love and I'm glad to be done with it. Now I can go back to writing other topics that people enjoy.

Life update: everything's fucked.

The parentals have been dragging me out of bed early all week with random demands. Drive my mom to the doctor. Deal with a repair guy they hired but weren't able to be there for the visit. Sometimes they just call me at ass early o clock to tell me to wake up because no one should sleep so late even tho I sleep so late because nighttime is the only time I feel safe to be active. It's when I do all my writing and gaming because a) work actually leaves me alone and b) I don't (normally) have family barging into my room without knocking at 3 am.

I'm currently kinda stressed about funds ATM. I blew all my savings and my last months paycheck repairing my car. Over the past few months I've been sinking more and more money into it to get it running. What started as a small warning light Digivolves into needing massive electrical work.as well as getting the entire ABS system replaced. All totaled I spent over 10k on it. I did some shopping for a new(?) Car but with interests rates as they are most dealers were offering 15% apr which is insane. So I decided to get my car running and see if I can keep it alive long enough for the market to turn around.

The good gnus is that I got it running and it seems to be working fine. Just in time for me to have to go on a road trip for work which will require me having to pay for mileage and room and board out of pocket with the hopes of maybe getting refunded some of it.

On top of that I've been paying for more and more stuff for work out of pocket with the promise that I will be reimbursed, but there's no telling when or if that will happen. So there's a few k there. Also my work hasn't paid me for May yet because the big boss is upset about the way the sites are being run and has not approved payroll until he finishes his inspection which will take a few weeks.

On top of this, I had a $3k tax bill due which I paid back in April. In may the gummint sent me almost all of it back as a tax refund. I used this money to pay for the aforementioned car. Earlier this month they sent me a notice saying that the refund was an error and now I owe all the money they refunded plus late fees and interest for not paying my taxes on time.

This is all on the tail end of surviving the semester from hell. I can't remember if I mentioned this here but I was in a class that the one entire course was structured around "group work". Well I got stuck with a group that didn't do anything and so I had to do it all by myself. I did the work of five people while holding down a full time job+.

Anyways on the writing front. I have a few chapters of CDE to post and a new Lumen chapter. But I realize those stories arent the kinda thing my core audience cares about. I've been struggling to find the time and energy to actually post anything because even after I finish writing and edits it's still at least an hour of work to format stuff for html and then share them online.

[xrdxbmx]

Need to get something off my mind.

*enters Wendy's*

I've recently been struck with a bit of nostalgia for Steven Universe, which led me to a bit of online diving into posts and blogs from the heyday of the show. Oh boy.

Back during 2014-2016, before I even had any interest in shipping, when I was busy drawing my Gemsona and playing the ''Steven Universe RP ''Roblox game, the community was busy indulging itself in unprecedented levels of toxicity. This was during a time when artists would be bullied and sent death threats for drawing a character wrong (we all know what I'm talking about) and a time when cross-site wars were happening (4chan-Tumblr wars). Bullying, trolling, drama, you name it, it all used to be so much worse.

And don't even get me started on the shipping community at that time. Which what this post will focus on;

Long ago in a distant time, before dinosaurs roamed the Earth, before the continents resembled what they are today and before opposable thumbs, there existed a ship called ''Pewey.''

Pewey was one of the earliest controversial and likely the most undeservingly hated ship in the show's history. People are allowed to hate ships, any ships, for any reason. That does not make it okay to stigmatize the very real people who like and post those ships. I'm appalled by the treatment people who shipped Pewey received and I'm glad that sort of behavior died down as the show matured.

This got me thinking about the simple yet genius approach the Crewniverse have towards shipping. As everyone knows, shipping is an integral part of any fandom and people put ungodly amounts of effort into producing material relating to their favorite fictional couples, canon or not. Due to this, the creators and creative teams of fictional media have a huge burden to carry. You do not wanna piss off and cause division within your own fanbase. The way the Crewniverse approach this is that they have a policy of ''ship everything and ship as much as possible!''

Some of you may know exactly what I'm talking about but I'll go further into it anyway because I'm in the mood to write today for some reason;

The scene above is the Crewniverse's animated response to shipping. It's the in-universe equivalent to what Rebecca Sugar and Ian JQ have been saying for years.

The best way to achieve peace and prevent shipping wars, is to give every ship fuel and regard every ship (except p3d0 ones of course) as valid and a net-positive for the community and its creative output.

Look deeper at the dialogue and the relationships between characters and you will notice how vague and complicated pretty much every relationship in the show is. This is by design. Every relationship is purposely suspended in this ''purgatory'' between friendship, platonicity and romantic potential. Barring couple dynamics necessary for the plot like Garnet, Connverse, Rose and Greg, Rose and Pearl etc, every relationship between characters that could be considered potentially ''shippable'' is just vague enough that it neither canonizes nor outright rejects shipping validity.

A recent example of this is in Bismuth Casual. Bismuth is shown having a crush on Pearl, much like Dewey did back in the day. Yet Bismuth herself states that, because Pearl is happy with whatever she has going on now, and because Bismuth wants Pearl to be happy, she won't (yet) approach Pearl with any romantic intent. This gives the ship between them (Bispearl) enough fuel to satisfy shippers, give a character (Bismuth) some sort of closure as a sendoff yet does not establish them as a canon couple, leaving other Pearl shippers satisfied and not feel left in the dust. Due to this, people can put their own spins on what happens next, if anything.

I really hope, that if by some miracle, or when the planets align and Steven Universe as an animated IP makes a comeback, in whatever capacity or form, that the Crewniverse continue on with this philosophy towards shipping. At least for the sake of our collective sanity.

If you've reached the end, thank you for reading through this and please, leave comments and opinions. We all miss this show so the least we can do is have discussions like these to keep the fans inside of us satisfied.

''Sir, this is a Wendy's.''

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

Hey, I was that anon that asked about the Nick Apostolides and his wiki. I just wanted to clarify, I wasn’t asking that to like disprove him being into Aeon or anything. I was genuinely interested in knowing if he was into it (and pretty happy to see he cosplayed Leon too). I don’t know what happened to his Wikipedia article, but it’s gone now everytime I try to Google it. There was this section that talked about something something he Leon and Ada’s relationship something something unhealthy after learning more about them? I mean I’m sure he could’ve changed his mind by now, but I was a little sad when I first read it, but when I saw you talking about how he’s might like it I was hopeful. Obviously I don’t have the Wikipedia article anymore to actually point to it, but if it comes back up again I’d like to look for it again. I totally agree that anyone can edit Wikipedias, but in my defense, I had seen that there for a few weeks now.

I’m 99% sure I did not hallucinate that….like, I saw it twice when I was reading the Resident Evil wikis. I really wish Nick’s page was up, but it’s just straight up gone. I dunno?

Anyway, I hope I didn’t cause any confusion there. I’m glad you brought up his instances of showing that he liked the ship. I’m also glad you mentioned when he said the “tell me you love me,” thing because I saw something about him saying that too and wasn’t sure if it was true.

helloo

apologies in advance if i was overly aggressive, it's hard to tell with anons and especially through text. and tbh most of the times i get overly accusatory asks on anon (and most of the time when i'm responding to anons, it's moreso, me explaining and answering to followers, so it could be seen as rude i suppose if i overly explain something like how i'm going to do now lol)

nick apostolides has never had an official wikipedia page.

if you go onto the resident evil 2 remake wikipedia page, resident evil 4 remake wikipedia page, and the leon s kennedy wikipedia page, you will NOT be able to find a link to a page for him. either he has not tried to have one made or another reason has made it so he does not have a page.

either way, yes it is EXTREMELY easy to edit pages and i highly recommend that people that go online look for actual sources for things before spouting misinformation.

if you're referring to the actual leon s kennedy page, there was a section where they talked about leon and ada's relationship and how it was "manipulative"

however this is the only line in the page that alludes to this.

there is a " resident evil fan wiki", however this is fan run and can be edited by literally anyone and currently does not have any of his opinions listed. so i'm not sure what site you're looking at.

if you ever find it again, i'd be willing to look at it though.

and yes, there are several videos where he actually explains the acting process for drawing out emotion for the leon and ada bridge scene, and how he was asked by the director to say "tell me you love me," in between lines to draw out different emotions for the following line

but yes

to everyone please please please know where you're reading things from. fan wikis are extremely easy to edit and lots of people write bad and horrible characterizations of characters, and sometimes those are taken as facts as they're from "reputable" sources and therefore those incorrect takes are regurgitated into a horrible game of telephone.

just try to be aware of it is all THANKS

[bladespark]

Hi!

I have just found your blog, led here by the art you commissioned of Ares/Dite/Dio. I recognised your handle from AO3. Always glad to follow Hades writers - I find so few here, at least those who write Ares. (I’m my_haunted_heart over there.)

Anyway - I then saw your multiple posts voicing frustration with Tumblr and I just couldn’t not say anything - I hope I can help a little :)

I’ve found that the best way to meet people here is reblogging - we communicate mostly through the hashtags, at least over in my corner of this place, but you can @ people in the comments section too and have a conversation with them there. Liking and reblogging friends’ posts, adding your thoughts in the tags - that’s how it’s done.

It also seems to help if you share original work - whether that’s actually sharing work that’s hosted here, making a master post for your blog, or just doing little announcement posts when you post something new on AO3 - it all helps people to know a bit about you and what you make.

(I’m personally fine with people direct messaging me to talk, too, though understandable that that could be an uncomfortable first step.)

As for the bots and the antis - unfortunately there’s no other answer than block block block :)

Anyway - I really hope you’ll stick around - I enjoy your work and I’m very active here so if I can help at all, let me know! ☺️

I do appreciate the kindness of this message. However, telling me to do what I already do is immensely frustrating!

I reblog things. And these just...sit there, having been reblogged. I really don't know what that accomplishes, I haven't seen anybody respond, reply, comment, etc. Sometimes somebody else reblogs them from me? That's it. I post original work all the time, that's 90% of what I do here! Those also just sit there. One kind person gives every one a like. Occasionally somebody else does as well. I see no comments, replies, or interactions. I've put thoughts into tags. Nobody responds to those thoughts. I am about *conversation*. Shouting into the void with zero response because it...what, means I'm Doing It Right and someday somebody will talk back maybe? I'm not online to be famous and collect followers, I'm online to TALK to people.

This site just isn't for me. I've been using it for years and years, and I have gotten absolutely nowhere. I get more interaction on DREAMWIDTH for god's sake. Dreamwidth!

And I'm sorry, if there is "no answer" to antis than to try to block every last one of the THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of them... I mean okay, I guess I can block any that wander into my space to directly talk to me, but I have to see them and their horrific, toxic, depressing, nasty opinions just to LOOK at the comments on any other post. Just to *see* content I might interact with here, I need to drown in a sea of hate.

No. I honestly am done. I only even saw this comment because somebody else linked me to a post here and I noticed the message icon after I've read it.

This site does not work for me. I've been here well over a decade, I've gotten nowhere, and I can't deal with it anymore. I'll Postybirb content when I can, but that's really it.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary117

1/8-9/2024

monday - tuesday

i know why i was so tired yesterday, now.

i am sick once again, my whole body hurts and my nose is hard to breathe through and stuff, i feel like i'm always about to have a nosebleed, my throat hurts too. i love to live. i am so glad annoying cokeheads got me sick.

anyway today i was looking at old scans of fashion mags from south korea/china (probably hong kong i'd guess but no one specified) and japan (inescapable). i'll post some of my fav pics:

spur - japan - i like this last one because it gives me a fun idea for cover art, not the image itself, though it helps w/ pose ideas or whatever, but little watermark someone put up onto it. i think i need to do that w/ the photo i take of myself for the album art, have that there in pixelated text.

harper's bazaar - china

fhm - china - this one's super weird, the last image especially, hard to tell exactly what they were reaching for, the strangeness/relative uncanniness of these photos / defamiliarization of a magazine's approach to sex sells and whatever turning so genuinely weird and offputting feels artistically useful. it's so wholly gaudy and disorienting. weird stuff.

w - south korea

vogue girl - south korea - the scans of this mag are all super crazy, honestly, i didn't expect these all to be so interesting and good.

cosmopolitan - china - i can't tell if this one's text is part of the image or not but it's maybe my favorite part, how it's so ugly beside everything, the really strange gradient, too.

fruits - japan - i didn't realize this one continued through to 2007, really crazy, you only ever see the y2k stuff get passed around really. these outfits are super cute but like that one spur scan w/ the user's watermark, the watermarks here of this website are really interesting to me, i think i also want to stick some weird watermark onto the picture i take, i don't know what i'll call the fake site or whatever but i kind of want it to maybe be something ridiculous/violent in another language. i'd also probably do it in like 128x128 and upscale the text, and instead of having it be something white w/ lowered opacity, i'd try to index it so it's dithered white pixels, instead of smeary transparent text, and then upscale that.

the watermarking stuff is interesting, it's interesting that these scans of magazines that people used to create a sense of self/consume/receive what they ought to be / do are then turned into a kind of capital, at least when it's a website, to get people to refer back to the site/increase traffic, likely get people to pay money to not have to see the watermarks. it's a fun thing to play at, to me, the accumulation of basically trash information, the trading of images and their valuation. scans of magazines online are kind of like trading cards, it seems like, there's stuff uploaded on archive.org but not as much as anyone would hope, at least with this niche stuff. and there too, the safeguarding of images from being stolen, is sometimes present. i know they keep vogue locked up on there, same with a lot of books, you can't rip books out easily, i mean sometimes people do, but i don't try to do that really.

so en magazine - japan - another example of the watermarks on 2 of the 3 pics, this is what i'm imagining i'll try to approximate the above methods and stuff. also i really love how so en seems to really go in on a kind of fucked up revival of the 60s, the above range from like 07 to 2013.

re: music today, i did 2 tracks, i wanted to do more but i was getting hit like a truck by illness in the middle of the day. i think they've both turned out pretty good, maybe both need a little help w/ getting the kicks louder, but idk, my ears are maybe a bit messed up when trying to do that kinda thing. but i have to proceed. tomorrow i think i'll have to take care of this really tiny thing w/ a song, to get it right, and then maybe 2 other tracks. i am eventually gonna have to get back to my big problem track (really there are 2) but maybe by then i'll have a way better idea what i'm doing.

i am so sick, there's more i wanted to say, though. i read this pretty, frustrating, i guess, comic, tonight. someone posted it saying something like "this says a lot about being trans in north america" or whatever, and it mostly doesn't but it's interesting i guess to read something like that and think about why/how i feel alienated from ever being able to say anything stable about my own identity/gender. the frustration mostly though comes from this sense that everything's too perfect, the relations between characters are too neat and the things they know are too easy, almost, at one point a character looks at kiwifarms, and it's like, is this kind of person, because the comic is kind of working in types, the sort to so easily know about that. like, i dunno, it feels too easy, it seems like something find out about, when they're in the middle of the kind of thing that character was in the midst of, which would have been more interesting. but overall idk, there's a certain way of interfacing w/ oneself/other present in the comic, the sort of types it runs through, and stuff, it creates distance, even though i can sit there and be like, oh i know this type of person, i've met someone like that, or even just, i've seen this kind of thing from a distance. it's valuable to reflect on, because i try writing in similar directions sometimes maybe, i don't want to rely on types totally, i get why a comic would, in prose fiction it's better to get away from that but there's just stuff like that. really what i'm reflecting on, in my inability to say anything stable about myself, like, i can't say: i'm a girl, i'm a boy, i'm a man (speaking honestly, man is what i never want to be, i don't think i ever say i am one), i'm a woman (i don't really know what being one means, maybe, i'd need someone to tell me (and this throws up the whole issue of why girl/boy, that feels weird to me, i'm 25, i'm something else (but what, and like, i dunno))), without ever having to contradict it right after, i just want to be what i am without what feels like interference, but 'cis' is an interference too, i'm not cis, i know that, there's nothing else to know i think. anyway, because of that, when i write characters, the ones i'm writing as/using my personal life for, i can't really gender them, they can't gender themselves, they just are, no matter what, people stick things to them and they all let it linger, or they're troubling themselves over if they pass or not but that's something internal and particular. anyway, i guess there's a thought, where by never really saying anything outright, is that a cowardice, where i let the idea of normalcy/being normal creep in, i don't think so, i don't think i'm normal, or i don't think ultimately i help things be normal with my presence. i dunno though. i kind of hate the "some men are just feminine and are actually super normal" thing, not because it's untrue, but to say there's no complication there, and also that this isn't just a cope or whatever, is frustrating. it's frustrating because people are at once alienated from being 'trans' (a broad thing that can mean all sorts of things really) and wanting to still be seen as cis so people don't think you're weird. it's not something i hate the people that feel that way for, i hate the world that makes that desirable.

anyway, i dunno. it's basically all complex and fucked up. sometimes i think of myself in percentages but putting it to text feels like a commitment, i don't ever want to be committed to performing some percentage of gender. i really just want gender to disappear as a thing, but i also, obviously, really want to look a certain way, be seen a certain way, because of stuff that happened to me as a kid and stuff i saw and whatever, it's like necessary, i have to. no one has a gun to my head except i feel like one shows up when i'm ugly. i'm on a tightrope, i was put there, it's not my fault, a lot of people are on it too, like everybody is, it's terrible.

i think if tiqqun were writing currently on the young girl, they might be compelled to speak on trans stuff, but i think all they might say ultimately is that basically every human on earth is on hrt. they would be right. although that makes it sound like i think hrt is bad or something. or maybe not. i think hrt is good and i think about trying it sometimes, or not trying, i'd have to commit, that seems less scary than the percentages though because i could still really be whatever/nothing/everything. everyone's on hrt but they receive it via socially enforced norms/reality stamping down on you, you will conform to standards and so on and whatever. sometimes i think gender euphoria is really a negative thing, in ways, if you think about cis men and their gender euphoria, where they might get it from, being hard laborers or beating women, basically suffering and then throwing it around, things become more frightening. i experience euphoria when people stare at my ass and i want to kill them but i also want people to stare. when my gf is transfixed by me, it's really nice, but it's also scary, why do i want to be totally inert and just looked at. it makes me wretch but i can't help it, really. i need attention all the time. i'm writing about how fucked up my insides are, i'm so histrionic.

that's one thing on my mind. the other really is how much i hate being sick and how i am like a sick and withering whateverrrr. my head hurts distantly, in a threeway sort of thing, different points of penetration along my brain and stuff.

so, i should like, sleep, probably.

so:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!