#i'm glad i discovered how much i like it after years of avoiding it

[miodiodavinci]

everyone say thank you to pineapple

[capuccinodoll]

Honey love, dark eyes

♡ Chapter two ♡

Summary: You see Joel for the first time after the night of his birthday, and things couldn't be more different from how you thought they were. Word count: 6.8k A/N: Thank you so much for all your beautiful comments!!! I'm so glad you liked the first chapter. I honestly can't wait to keep discovering the path of this story together with you <3 thank you thank you thank youuu. FIRST CHAPTER: ♡ here ♡

Saturday. You woke up with an ache stretching through your chest, as if all the warmth you’d fallen asleep in had cooled to an empty space beside you. Joel was gone. The clock flashed 9:00 a.m., and you imagined him awake hours earlier, deciding he needed to leave. You wondered what might’ve filled his head as he slipped out—regret, embarrassment, maybe something close to the uncomfortable doubt now tightening in your stomach.

It was painful, how your mind filled in the blanks: if he’d stayed, if he’d wrapped his arms around you before you woke up, maybe it would mean something. Some quiet acknowledgment of what had happened, that you were now something different, and that it could be okay. But he’d left, and his absence felt like an answer. His own kind of message. You didn’t know exactly how to feel, only that your heart was broken, frayed by thoughts that raced faster than you could catch.

After lying there, staring blankly at the wall for what might’ve been hours, you managed to sit up, body aching and sore from each place his hands had traveled. You stepped into the shower, closing your eyes as the hot water hit your shoulders, the places where his fingertips had traced your skin. You felt sadder than you wanted to admit as the water washed away his touch, erased his kisses—but somehow, you also needed this; needed to cleanse away the confusion he’d left behind. The way your heart twisted told you everything: that after years of loving him quietly, of wondering if you were foolish for feeling this way, you’d finally seen it in his eyes. It was undeniable, the way he looked at you. Dark, intent, and carrying something that had always been just out of reach. But there was something else there, something heavy that you still didn’t understand, as if he were as conflicted as you.

For the rest of the day, you collapsed onto the couch, letting the TV drone on without paying attention to any of it. You didn’t see Joel or Sarah, didn’t even think about glancing out the window, afraid he might be there.

*

Sunday. You woke up early and walked the neighborhood, hoping you wouldn’t cross paths with him. You had no idea what to say, and you weren’t ready to hear anything he might want to say to you. Joel wasn’t sentimental, and you knew this situation would be far from easy for him, as well. When you returned, you rounded the block and entered through the back door to avoid even the sight of his house. You spent the rest of the day tearing through closets, dusting shelves, filling bags with clothes and objects to donate. Anything to keep busy, to drown out the echo of his absence. When you reached the hall, you noticed a picture hanging askew—a memory of your best friend pushing you playfully against the wall. You straightened it, feeling the weight of that simpler time.

*

Monday. Work, mercifully, absorbed you the whole morning. Manuscripts stacked on your desk piled up, five drafts to review before the week’s end. At lunch, you let yourself get caught up in the interns’ gossip, grateful for the distraction of someone else’s drama: an assistant had apparently thrown a scene in the kitchen. For those few minutes, you were somewhere else entirely.

When you got home, exhaustion caught up to you in a wave, and you napped for hours, hoping to sleep off the ache. You buried yourself in work for the rest of the evening until finally crawling into bed. Even though the hours of sleep should’ve soothed you, the headache stayed, an insistent reminder that you couldn’t keep avoiding the thoughts that waited just beneath the surface.

*

Tuesday. Work was just a blur of the usual. A steady hum, a low buzz of screens and staplers and muffled voices. Then your boss leaned out of her office door, gave you a quick look, and said you could take off two hours early if you wanted. No explanation. You gave her a polite nod of thanks and were out of there before she could change her mind.

When you got home, you stood in the shower for an eternity, letting the water pour over you, but your mind kept circling back to Joel. The ache of it pressed on you, and you felt almost embarrassed by how deeply it stung. Why did it always come back to this?

Out of the shower, you wrapped your hair in a towel, looked up at your own face in the mirror. The eyes staring back seemed hollow, that same expression you’d worn on Saturday—worn thin and tired, as if all the energy you’d stored up was suddenly gone.

You knew you had to do something. Sitting around was unbearable. A surge of restlessness spurred you forward. You changed into workout clothes, slid your headphones on, set a playlist going. The music buzzed in your ears as you left, footsteps echoing on the stairs, mind already reaching for the rush that would come when you pushed yourself hard, sprinting until everything in you felt like liquid fire.

You’d barely opened the front door when you stopped short. Sarah was there, one hand raised to knock, her backpack slung over her shoulder, her hair falling in loose, carefree waves. She looked up, surprised, but her face split into a grin, and at the sight of her, something warm unfurled in your chest.

“Can I stay for a while? Dad’s working late again,” she said, and you felt the familiar twinge at the mention of him— Dad.

“Of course.” You stepped back, pulling the door open wide, stretching your arms out for a hug, which she slipped into immediately, her hands resting lightly on your back.

“Were you going somewhere?” she asked, tossing her backpack to the floor and heading straight for the couch. She plopped down, her hair bouncing as she did, and looked at you with that expectant smile, as if she’d just brought a bit of sunlight into the room with her.

“Just a run.” You wave it off, but there’s something in your voice—she tilts her head, gives you a curious look. “I was bored, that’s all,” you add, softer.

"Ah,” Sarah murmured, letting the sound stretch and float between you. "It’s a nice day, a perfect day for a run.”

“It is," you agreed, the words soft, casual, "but it’s even nicer now that you’re here.” You couldn’t help smiling as you lowered yourself onto the couch beside her, picking up the remote and flipping on the TV. You laughed under your breath when My Best Friend’s Wedding appeared on the screen, as if fate itself were nudging you, teasing you with its sense of irony.

Sarah didn’t miss a beat, slipping her arms around your waist and nestling her head against your right arm, curling into you in the way she always did. The warmth of her comfort settled over you.

“What happened between you and Dad?” Her voice was quiet, the kind of softness that demands honesty. You looked down, meeting her open gaze, and your heart clenched—how could you explain something you hadn’t yet pieced together yourself?

“Nothing,” you murmured, trying to keep your tone light. “Why do you ask?”

She shrugged but kept her head resting on you, her voice low, musing. “I don’t know… I haven’t seen you since his birthday.” She toyed with the hem of her sleeve, eyes downcast, like she was searching her memory. “And last night, when we ordered pizza, I told him I wanted to see you. He said no, that you were probably tired, but I told him you always come, even when you’re tired.” She glanced up at you, lips curling with a faint, sad smile. “Then he just told me to drop it, and I could tell he was in one of his moods. You know him.”

Each word pierced you, gentle pinpricks you could feel sinking in. Joel was shutting you out too, it seemed, yet you were beginning to accept that as inevitable.

“I really was tired,” you lied, hating the sound of it even as it left your lips. “Yesterday was long. You know how much I read every day?” She nodded, that same wide-eyed curiosity looking up at you. “Well, yesterday was one of those days I could hardly see straight. When I got home, all I wanted to do was sleep.”

“Oh, right,” she replied, and you felt her cheeks lift against your arm, her smile warm and trusting. “Well, I was just gonna ask you to help with my homework. Have you ever read Poe?”

A chuckle escaped, breaking the tension. “Yes, I’ve read Poe.”

She pulled back a little, her eyes gleaming. “Are you tired now?”

“No.” You shifted up straighter, meeting her gaze with a small nod. “Come on, let’s get comfortable at the table.”

Soon, you were placing a steaming cup of cocoa and a plate of cookies in front of her, the familiar ritual setting in, grounding you both. You sat beside her, ready to dive into the morbid worlds of *The Black Cat* and *The Tell-Tale Heart,* classic Poe to whet a young mind. She didn’t need your help—you knew that. Sarah was bright, quick; it was more the routine of sitting together in the kitchen, tracing the dark, winding paths of literature, that you both cherished. Sometimes she’d even ask for math help, which was the last thing you were qualified for. Literary theory? Of course; Atiyah's geometry? Forget it. 

At seven, the kitchen was dim, the soft click of the clock marking the evening. There was still no sign of Joel. You watched from the living room window, your breath creating small fogged circles on the cold glass. Sarah had drifted to sleep, limbs splayed out on the couch, her bare feet poking over the edge. After homework, she’d switched to a documentary about whales and somewhere along the way, gentle little snores had taken over. You, meanwhile, were skimming through an article on your phone about a woman from Nigeria with the world’s largest wig, lost in a rabbit hole of Guinness World Records—another one of your distractions to keep from thinking about the ache lodged firmly where thoughts of Joel tended to linger.

Then, you heard it: the low rumble of Joel’s truck. You didn’t need to see him to know. You could recognize it anywhere, the steady approach, the engine growling over the pavement. For a moment, you stayed frozen, staring blankly at the phone in your hands, the words blurring together. You were just waiting—knowing that any moment, he’d come knocking at your door. Because that’s exactly what he would do.

Joel would enter his house with that familiar, end-of-the-day exhaustion weighing down his steps. His shoulders would drop, his gaze fixed on the floor. “Sarah!” he would call out, but the house would echo back only silence. A quiet that felt too deep, too empty. He’d stand in the middle of the hallway, pausing, absorbing the emptiness for a beat, then walk to her room and crack open the door just enough to check her bed. The unmade sheets and abandoned books would confirm what he already suspected: she was at your place, just as she always was when he was running late.

With a soft sigh, he would turn and head downstairs, the familiar creaks of the house echoing around him. And as he moves toward your door, he’d feel the tension in his back, muscles tight and weary from the day. He’d roll his head in a way that sent a dull ring through his neck, feeling the tendons pull, listening to the slight pop of his vertebrae—an old habit that usually helped him settle. But tonight, it did little to ease the tension running through him. Then, as he gets closer, he- 

Knock, knock—two sharp sounds that broke through the quiet of the evening. You looked up from your phone, startled from your reverie, the light of the screen dimming in your periphery. Sarah was curled up beside you, blissfully unaware, her breathing steady and peaceful.

“Sarah,” you whispered, reaching out gently, fingers brushing her shoulder. You called her name softly a couple of times, but she merely rolled over, a sleepy mumble escaping her lips—a mix of protest and the remnants of dreams still clinging to her.

Knock, knock. Again, insistent, echoing through the room.

This time, you stood up, feeling an unsteady flutter in your stomach as you made your way to the door. You inhaled sharply, letting a sigh escape, your body tensing involuntarily with each step. There it was again—that heaviness, low and unsettling, growing with every inch you closed toward him.

As your hand wrapped around the cool metal of the doorknob, you found yourself hesitating, fingers pressed into it but unmoving, as if the door itself had grown an invisible weight.

Be. Fucking. Strong. You took a slow breath, steadied your grip, a final reminder for yourself. Maybe, just maybe, Joel was feeling the same tightness, the same knot of uncertainty in his chest. You let yourself imagine that possibility, just long enough to give you the courage to turn the knob and let him in.

In one swift, impulsive movement, you flung the door open, and there he was. Joel. Standing there as if time itself had stilled, his gaze locked onto yours. It was the first time you'd seen him since that night. Your heart lurched at the sight of him, the familiar lines of his face, the small furrow between his brows, and maybe—just maybe—a slight tremor at one eyebrow as if he was bracing himself, too.

“Sarah’s here,” you said, quickly, your voice sharper than you’d intended, as though saying it fast enough might keep him from asking first. 

“I assumed so,” he replied, glancing briefly into your house, his tone measured, careful. “Is she asleep?”

You nodded, stepping back just enough to signal he could come in. He hesitated for a beat, then crossed the threshold. As he passed, his arm brushed yours, a fleeting contact that sent a surge through you—a reminder of all the words you hadn’t said, couldn’t say. It made your heart race, each beat loud in your ears as he moved further into the room.

You watched him approach Sarah, his frame bending down as he placed a hand on her shoulder, voice a low murmur. “Sarah, baby, let’s go home,” he whispered, as if his quiet words might coax her awake. But she only turned her shoulder, a soft groan escaping her, and nestled back into sleep. 

He sighed, a sound that spoke of familiarity and resignation. It was a scene he had lived through a hundred times before. Knowing it was useless to waste words trying to wake her, he slipped his arms beneath her and lifted her in one smooth motion. She stirred only slightly as he held her, and you saw the small grimace on his face as he straightened up, her weight adding to his already tired frame. 

You stayed in the doorway of the living room, arms crossed, a faint shield against whatever unspoken things might spill out of him. The sight of him in your space stirred a confusion of emotions—anger, frustration, an ache edged with sadness. Joel had been pulling away, barely looking you in the eye; Joel was acting as if you were strangers or as if nothing had ever happened between you. Joel was a—

“Thanks for watching her,” he said, his voice low as he walked past you, his eyes averted, as though speaking to the floor. He held Sarah protectively, her feet swinging softly past you, careful not to let her brush against you.

Something about his words made your stomach twist. He was speaking to you like you’d done something extraordinary, some rare act of kindness, as if this wasn’t something you did all the time. It was ridiculous. Sarah spent half her days here, half her nights, and he was thanking you now, like you were a kind neighbor who’d offered to babysit for the first time or some shit like that.

You didn’t respond, feeling the words trapped in your throat, unwilling to form. Instead, you walked him to the door, waiting as he stepped over the threshold. Your hand found the doorknob, ready to close it as soon as he left.

But he stopped. He turned back, and for a moment, his eyes met yours with a rare intensity. His expression shifted—there was something else there, something that looked like it was on the verge of spilling over. You waited, holding his gaze, a silent impatience building in you, daring him to say whatever was lodged inside him.

“Good night,” he said at last, flat and simple, letting the words fall like stones between you.

Before he could wait for a response, you slammed the door shut, perhaps with a bit too much force. But you didn’t care. You didn’t care at all. He could stand there in the hallway, speechless, for all you cared. The way he had looked at you, his voice so flat and distant—like you were nothing more than neighbors exchanging small talk—made your chest feel hollow. As if you hadn't spent the last four years glued to each other, inseparable, as if he hadn’t been completely entangled with you, entirely and recently. Joel could go fuck himself.

With your heart still aching, you walked to your bedroom and changed into pajamas, too upset to think about eating. You crawled under the covers, letting the silence settle around you, picking up the remote and flicking through channels until you found a rerun of one of those bizarre home and health shows. On the screen, a woman was recounting a story that seemed almost surreal: she had given birth to a baby alone in her bathroom after a shower, completely unaware she’d been pregnant. No anesthesia, no doctor, just a child falling into her hands, catching her by surprise.

Unbelievable, you thought, entranced, the human body is astounding. 

By the time the second episode started, your mind had drifted away from Joel, and all you could feel was hunger, sharp and insistent. The grumble in your stomach left you with no choice but to get out of bed. You tossed back the sheets and slipped your feet into the pom-pom slippers Joel had given you last Christmas. Fucking Joel, you thought, but they were soft, comfortable, and warm, and they carried you to the kitchen with a small feeling of comfort despite everything.

You made yourself a ham and cheese sandwich, humming a song you’d been listening to earlier that evening, right before Sarah knocked on your door. You poured yourself a glass of water, sat in the gentle glow of the under-cabinet lights, and took a bite. As you ate, your thoughts drifted back to the woman giving birth alone, imagining her shock and fear. If something like that ever happened to you, you thought, you’d probably be completely terrified, unprepared.

Then again, maybe you’d surprise yourself, discovering strength you didn’t know you had.

You shook your head slightly, reassuring yourself that it could never happen. You were meticulous with birth control; it was nearly impossible. After all, it had been a lonely year, with plenty of solitude and very little excitement. Not that you lacked options, but you’d grown comfortable in your independence.

Oh. Joel. You had slept with Joel, hadn’t you? And you hadn’t used a condom, a fact you had almost managed to ignore, until now. The thought gnawed at you.

As you finished your sandwich, you reminded yourself to check that your alarm was set for noon tomorrow—right when you took your birth control every day.

What would it be like, really, to have a baby? You’d never held one close or even spent much time with one, always keeping them at arm’s length, like something fragile you didn’t understand. Growing up an only child, you’d had no younger siblings to fuss over, no little cousins to chase around. None of your friends had children, either—not ones young enough for you to witness the first days, the delicate first few years. Sarah was already eight when you met her, and while you’d watched her grow up since, it wasn’t the same as seeing a baby. A newborn. Someone who came into the world with no words, just endless, vulnerable need.

Knock, knock. The sound jarred you, your heart jumping as you nearly choked on your last bite of sandwich. You looked up, squinting at the clock on the wall. Eleven p.m. 

Who could it be at this hour? His name appeared on your mind.

You reached for a paper napkin and wiped your mouth, slowly pushing back from the kitchen counter, your feet moving reluctantly toward the door. Your pulse quickened with each step, and a voice inside you whispered to run upstairs, to pretend you hadn’t heard. But the lights were on. He’d know you were awake; surely, he would.

Peering through the peephole, you felt that sudden jolt all over again. Joel was there. Standing in the yellowish glow of the hallway lights, looking down at the floor with one hand absently scratching his chin. For a moment, you watched him like that, as if observing from far away, taking in the unguarded heaviness of his expression. It softened something in you, even as your mind told you to hold your ground. 

Finally, you turned the lock and opened the door, just a sliver at first, easing it open slowly until you were half visible. His gaze lifted the moment he saw you, his body straightening, hands falling to his sides. There was something unmistakably nervous in his stance, a sense that he’d already doubted coming here but had decided it was too late to turn back.

He said your name in a whisper, as if startled to see you standing right there in your own doorway, his voice almost swallowed by the silence around you both. Then he took a step forward, his hand lifting slightly as if he’d reach out. 

You stayed frozen in place, your heart loud in your ears.

“Were you in bed?” he asked, almost sheepishly, the corners of his mouth pulling up slightly as if he wasn’t sure he should be there.

“No, I…” You hesitated, glancing briefly over his shoulder like you were expecting someone to jump out and catch you doing something wrong. “I was just eating something.”

Joel nodded, his eyes darting over your shoulder, taking in the familiar space inside your home, then flicking back to you, then to the doorway again. You could tell he wanted to come in, but he looked uncertain, almost nervous.

“Did something happen?” you asked, your voice coming out a little louder than intended.

“No, no,” he replied quickly. “Sarah just… she forgot her backpack, that’s all.” That’s all. The words sounded small.

You nodded, feeling a slight warmth creep into your cheeks, a forced smile stretching across your lips.

“I’ll grab it for you,” you said, hoping you sounded polite and unaffected. You closed the door nearly all the way, leaving only a thin sliver between you and the hallway, and hurried to where Sarah’s backpack and shoes sat beside the couch.

You grabbed her things hastily, inhaling sharply as you bent down, determined to hand them over and end this interaction on a courteous note, the way he’d left things with you earlier that evening.

“Jesus, Joel,” you muttered as you stood back up, a hand pressed to your chest. He’d somehow slipped inside and was standing right in front of you, eyes steady but unreadable, mouth set in a straight line. “You scared me to death.”

He glanced around your living room, slowly, buying time. He looked back at you, but this time his eyes were softer, a hint of something deeper lingering there.

“Can we talk?” he asked, and your heart leapt, relief breaking through your careful composure. 

You placed Sarah’s things back on the floor, feeling the weight of this moment settle over you, and then sank onto the couch. You didn’t say anything, but you glanced toward the seat beside you, silently inviting him to join you. Joel sat heavily, elbows on his knees, staring down as though the floor itself held the answers to questions he couldn’t voice. His silence felt endless, stretching out between you until you finally broke it.

“What do you want to talk about?” you asked, your voice almost too casual, as if you weren’t bracing yourself for the answer.

What was there even to talk about? The weather?

He exhaled, his voice almost too low to hear.

“About what happened. I… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” He straightened his back but still didn’t meet your eyes. 

“Sorry about what?” you asked, your own voice coming out softer than you’d intended, colored by a hurt you couldn’t hide. “For sleeping with me, or for disappearing in the morning?”

The flash of hurt in your tone seemed to hit him hard, his head dropping even lower. He turned toward you, his gaze sweeping across your face, as though trying to memorize the hurt he’d caused.

“Everything,” he said at last, voice thick with regret. “For messing it all up, for not coming to talk to you sooner.” He looked away again, his hand resting on the back of his neck, and his eyes drifting down, unable to hold yours. 

Your body felt tight with nerves, and you nodded, though it was barely a nod at all.

“Why did you leave?” you asked, almost a whisper.

He looked like he was searching for the right words, for something that would undo the damage, something that wouldn’t hurt you more.

“I panicked. I woke up and saw you next to me, and it all rushed back—everything. I couldn’t handle it, and Sarah was going to wake up soon, and I just… I just left.” 

“You could have at least told me,” you murmured, your voice strained. “Do you have any idea how that felt?”

He turned fully to face you, his eyes dark and full of something you loved, but now it looked almost foreign.

“I know. I hate myself for making you feel that way. I can’t forgive myself for that.” He shook his head slowly, as though to emphasize the depth of his regret. “I messed up. I messed everything up.”

“Then be clearer, Joel.” Your voice cracked on his name, and you hated how fragile it sounded. 

He ran a hand over his chin, staring at you with an expression that was unreadable but intense, his fingers pressing into the stubble on his jaw. He exhaled, licking his lips, and it was as if the words were something he’d been rehearsing, something he’d said to himself over and over but couldn’t say until now.

“I lied to you. And then I acted like an asshole when you found out,” he said, the words halting and heavy. “I’m sorry. I felt cornered when you found out about Sienna, and i reacted defensively.” The name slipped out reluctantly, and you felt a sharp pang at the sound of it. “I felt weird, and I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I know this is my fault—all of it is. If I’d just left when you asked me to... God, you asked me so many times. If I had left, none of this would have happened.” He shook his head, almost in disbelief at himself. “But I didn’t. And I ruined it.”

Sienna. The name hung in the air, thickening the silence between you. It sat heavy in your chest, like a stone. You tried to picture her, tried to put a face to the name, but the image wouldn’t come; your mind was racing too fast.

A warmth crept down your spine as Joel’s words landed, heavy, final. You sat with the silence for a moment, like you were stealing a few extra seconds from time to filter through what he’d just said, to let the meaning sift in slowly. He regretted it—this, everything. That was why he’d left in the morning, why he’d ignored you for days, why he couldn’t hold your gaze now. His eyes stayed down, fixed on the floor, while yours were betraying you, welling up without permission.

“You ruined it,” you whispered, echoing his words more to yourself than to him, taking them in and feeling their weight. But Joel must’ve thought you meant it, that you agreed with his confession. He winced slightly, like he’d been stung. “You regret it. Now what?”

He swallowed, his eyes still cast down.

“Now, now I don’t know,” he muttered. It sounded like a confession, like the last thing he wanted to admit. “But we have to fix it somehow.”

Fix it. Joel had always fixed things; it was almost second nature to him. Floors, windows, cabinets, the bench in your backyard that he’d broken one night when he stood on it, laughing, doing something you couldn’t even remember now. Joel fixed anything broken or cracked or worn down, anything that wasn’t how it should be. And now, that’s what he thought you were—something to be mended.

Your throat tightened, and you felt your eyes sting as a tear escaped, soft and warm on your cheek.

“Do you want us to pretend nothing happened?” you asked, your voice low but clear, cutting through the heaviness in the air.

“No,” he said, looking up quickly, like he was startled by the idea. When he saw your face, his brow twitched in concern. “No. But we can work it out; I know we can. We have to.”

You laughed, short and sharp, a hollow sound that escaped before you could think. You shook your head, as the irony hit you—how he thought he could repair something like this, as if he could slot you both back together seamlessly, like nothing was shattered, like no pieces were missing.

“How, Joel?” you asked, your voice tinged with exasperation, though your lips held a half-smile—an odd defense that barely softened the ache. “How am I supposed to act as if this never happened?”

He clasped his hands, his fingers moving restlessly against each other as he took in your words, his face an irritating calm that made you feel exposed, like you were some unpredictable force he needed to steady. When he finally spoke, his voice softened, though there was a tiny thread of frustration just barely visible.

“I’m not asking you to pretend or act, not at all,” he said, and the slight waver in his voice hinted at some urgency he was struggling to mask. “I just… we’re adults, you know? And sometimes things get messy. It doesn’t make it… doesn’t mean it was meant to be. It was just a mistake. That’s not who we are, you and I.”

“A mistake?” you echoed, his words heavy on your tongue, repeating them to see if they would settle into meaning. But they felt as alien as they sounded, and Joel could see it. He shook his head gently, almost admonishing, catching the resistance etched across your face.

“Yes, a mistake,” he replied, almost chiding, and then he sank forward, his head resting in his hands. His eyes closed, and you couldn't tell , but he was replaying some private memory; you didn’t know how often he’d been revisiting it in his mind—how his thoughts had kept catching on the feel of your skin, the taste of you, the soft pull of your fingers in his hair, the unmistakable sense of being surrounded by you: tight, warm, everywhere. Too much. It was a memory he couldn’t shake, and one that, in his mind, he had to. It was a torture that needed to stop.

He drew in a deep breath and looked up. “We can’t go there, not you and me. That’s not us.”

You leaned forward, heart pounding, voice edged with something sharper than before.

“A mistake?” you repeated, but this time louder, any hint of softness dissolving as it turned to raw anger. “What the hell, Joel?”

“That’s exactly what it was,” he started, his voice tentative, as if he were trying to convince you of something you didn’t want to believe. “We were arguing, a little drunk, and in the heat of the moment, things just… got out of hand—”

“Stop it.” Your interruption came out firm, a sharp edge cutting through the air between you. Joel froze, his gaze locking onto yours, as if you had just thrown a switch. “You know perfectly well that’s not what happened. If I remember correctly, we barely finished a bottle of wine, and you need a lot more than that to get drunk, don’t you?”

“I was mad,” he insisted, his voice rising slightly, a mix of defensiveness and frustration swirling in his tone. “I was angry, and you were teasing me with all those—”

“Bullshit.” The word slipped out with a fierceness that surprised even you. You shifted closer, locking your gaze onto his, making it impossible for him to look away. “We both know what happened wasn’t just a result of some drunken argument. You were angry, yes, and so was I, but it was still you and me.”

Joel shook his head slowly, exasperation spilling from him like a tide. He scrubbed his face with both hands, a gesture of weariness that spoke volumes about the struggle playing out in his mind.

“So what do you want me to tell you then?” he blurted, his frustration breaking through the surface, his voice loud enough to echo in your ears. “That I got carried away? That I completely screwed up and regret everything?”

At that, you felt a jolt of emotion surge through you. You sprang up from the couch, taking several steps back as if creating distance could shield you from the reality of what he was saying. You turned away, unable to hide the tears that had begun their silent descent down your cheeks. The worst suspicions you had harbored were confirmed; he was sorry, miserable at the thought of having touched you, and that thought cut deeper than you expected.

“Fuck you, Joel,” you spat, the words sharp and raw as you wiped your face with the sleeve of your pajamas. It was a pitiful gesture, but it felt like the only way to wipe away the emotional mess he had stirred up inside you. “Fuck off and leave me alone.”

“No,” he blurted out, the word escaping him almost like a plea. He sprang from his seat, crossing the space between you in just a few strides, desperation etched into the lines of his face. “Please, sunshine, please, we can fix this. We just need to talk it out and give it a little time—”

“Don’t ever call me that again.” The demand tumbled from your lips, cutting through the air with an urgency that surprised even you. You saw the flicker of hurt in his eyes, how your words landed like stones against his heart. “Don’t ever call me that again, Joel. I don’t want to listen to you. I can’t pretend this has a solution because, honestly, I don’t feel like there is one. You don't realize what's going on, do you? Or you're just too stubborn to do it, as usual, Joel, you're always so fucking stubborn about everything.”

“What do you want me to do?” His voice strained, as if he were grasping at straws, desperate for a lifeline.

“Nothing!” The word burst from you, frustration boiling over until it turned into a sob you wished you could swallow back. The tears threatened to overflow, blurring your vision and your resolve.

“Tell me what I can do, and I’ll do it. I—”

“Stop it, Joel.”

He reached out, his hand hovering in the air between you like a promise hanging unfulfilled. But you took a quick step back, your back hitting the wall with a thud that echoed in the silence, an absurd reminder of how trapped you felt in this moment.

What did you want him to do? To turn back time; not to leave your bed, to reciprocate for at least a few minutes more, to pretend it was okay, to lie to you at least. But that wasn't possible, and suddenly, the quiet sturdy house you had lived in all these years, hiding your feelings for your own good, had now collapsed.

Joel stared at you for a few seconds, his silence stretching between you like a taut wire ready to snap. You could see the shift in his expression, the way it softened and crumbled, no longer the confident facade he usually wore. Instead, he looked downcast, a man weighed down by burdens that felt alien to you, yet you could sense the depth of his struggle. Or so you thought.

Then, your name slipped from his lips like a broken prayer, fragile and desperate.

“I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you,” he implored, his voice wavering with an urgency that made your heart twist. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. Please listen to me, just for one more moment.”

In that instant, his words pierced through your defenses, sinking deep into your chest and igniting a flicker of hope. For a heartbeat, you were on the verge of rushing to him, promising that everything would be okay, that you could forget the hurt and revert to the easy laughter and shared secrets of before. You could stash away all your feelings, pack them neatly into boxes, and hide them away forever just to keep him close. But reality loomed over you like a storm cloud, and you knew that was no longer an option; everything had irrevocably shifted. You couldn't bear to look at him without feeling the sharp sting of heartbreak.

Swallowing hard, you tasted the salt of your tears, and it burned your throat like an unwelcome reminder of the turmoil within.

“I’m not sure I can be your friend anymore, Joel,” you confessed, your voice shaking with the weight of your admission.

He shook his head, disbelief flashing across his features as a weak smile broke through the hurt. It was as if he couldn’t quite fathom the words that had just escaped you.

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do,” you asserted, each syllable a battle against the rawness in your chest.

“No, you don’t,” he countered, stepping back just inches, his tone laced with incredulity. The mocking sneer that crept onto his face felt more like a mask than a reflection of his true feelings, and yet, the moisture pooling in his eyes betrayed the battle raging within him.

You regarded him in silence, the atmosphere thickening with unspoken words as you watched his smile fade into something that was almost painful. It twisted his features, morphing into a look of discomfort that hung between you like an unsaid apology. He remained still, his gaze locked onto yours, waiting for you to break the tension with a word or a gesture. The sight of him like that burned inside you, igniting a longing to rewind time, to swallow your questions, to let him live his life free from the weight of your curiosity and the tangled feelings that had blossomed between you. But that wasn’t an option; the reality of your situation loomed large and unavoidable. You had to confront the truth: he didn’t feel the same way about you, and for him, sleeping with you felt like a transgression, a sin, a burden he couldn’t carry.

“Joel, please,” you began, your voice cracking under the pressure of your emotions. A tear slipped down your cheek, salty and bitter, tasting of the anguish that your words carried. “I can’t be your friend anymore. I can’t do this. I’m sorry, I really am, but you’re breaking my—” You hesitated, swallowing hard against the swell of grief that threatened to overwhelm you. “I think this is over.”

His eyes darted between yours, searching for the meaning behind your confession, as if trying to decode the gravity of your words. A flicker of something—perhaps understanding or denial—crossed his face before a semblance of a smile returned, albeit a strained one. He nodded gently, his gaze dropping to the floor, avoiding your eyes as if he were trying to hide from the truth that hung in the air between you.

In that moment, an overwhelming impulse surged within you—a fierce desire to bridge the chasm that had opened between you, to run to him, to tangle your fingers in his hair, to pull him close and make everything right again. You wanted to erase the pain, to heal the wounds that you both had inflicted.

But you didn't. You held back in silence waiting for him to move first. And when he looked up and fixed his eyes for the last time on you, you knew you were right: nothing would ever be the same, ever again, for when he turned on his heel and finally left without another word, your whole world fell at your feet.  It was over. 

-

@yesjazzywazzylove-blog @cosmic006533-blog @doblasftcisco @maiyart @concrete-jungleeee @playboygirlsnextdoor00 @maryfanson @rosebuds-and-moonlight @the-universe-is-complicated @formulafun @chewie-bars @glizzymcguirex @pedroswife69 @ivoryandflame @dixonswingz @sarahhxx03 @mellymbee @dailyobsession @msmorningstaarr @mystickittytaco @xxreginaxx @marellabyr @spacegirl-3 @alrihhty @heheheilovepedro @svrgs-blog @94namkooksworld @puddles221b

[glassartpeasants]

How to Love

Eustass Kid/Trafalgar Law x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, semi-slow burn?, beginnings to chapters are hard </3

A/N: yeah here we are. just wanted to set a light on what the base plan is. Also, this takes place RIGHT after the prologue ends. hopefully, it's good for a first chapter.

music playlist

~~~

Your heart beats harshly against your ribs as the events of only moments ago replay in your mind like a broken record. The images of the two most significant people in your world, your boyfriend and your best friend, betraying you, makes your head spin. It almost feels unreal, like a nightmare instead of reality.

But it wasn’t a dream. It was a harsh reality, a stark contrast to the life you thought you were living.

Instead of waking up next to your boyfriend, you find yourself in a disorienting place: your ex-best friend's ex-boyfriend's car. Random items you managed to grab scattered across the passenger side and on your lap. The smell of Eustass’s cologne, a scent that used to bring comfort, now only added to your heartbreak, still plaguing your nose.

“Thank you, Law. You really didn’t have to.” Despite being almost inaudible, Law still heard you like you were screaming. The tremble in your voice notifies him of his own inability to speak without breaking down.

“It’s fine. Thank you for telling me about (.....)-ya’s infidelity.” The fact you even told him in the first place shocked him. You had known (.....) for years, and she was your best friend, while you only had a class project with him. Given that it was a whole semester-long, you were willing to throw away a friendship just like that. 

“You're a good guy, Law. You don’t deserve to be cheated on. Whether we’re friends or strangers. I would have told you regardless. No one deserves such heartbreak.” Law can see tears slipping down your cheeks out of the corner of his eyes. The fact that you're trying to stay strong after being the one to discover the affair is admirable in a sense. It could also be that you didn’t want him to see you cry. The latter sounds more plausible.

“I'm glad I didn’t delete your number. It would have been awkward if I had tried to catch you at work.” A small, sad chuckle left your lips. The tension in the car was too much, and you needed something to keep your mind distracted so you didn’t start wailing in front of Law.

“That would have been a scene I’m grateful we avoided. I like to keep my private life and work life separate.” 

“I’m the same in a sense. I don’t tell my co-workers much except to recommend shows or movies. I know you're more of a book guy, but have you seen any shows or movies recently?”

“(.....)-ya made me watch a movie the other day. It was a horror movie.”

“Oh. Was it good?”

“No, it was terrible.” You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at Law's cold tone.

“Bad effects, or was it a storyline issue?”

“I could’ve made a better movie with a budget of two dollars.” Even though tears still fall from your eyes against your wishes, Law manages to make you laugh to ease the pain.

“Well, have you read any good books recently?”

“Haven’t had the time.” Law’s admission made your eyes furrow together. You know the medical field could be rough, but there wasn't enough time for him to read?

"The bookworm hasn't read recently? Are you sure you're the real Law?" A small smile tugs at the corner of Law’s lips as he listens to you talk, but even he can only hide the effects of heartbreak for so long.

Whether Law knew it or not, you could see tiny droplets of water gather in his eyes. Seeing him trying to hold it together made it just a bit harder to prevent yourself from breaking down. You grip the seat of his car and try to regulate your breathing. Clenching your teeth together,  you lay your head on the window and look outside. The sudden tap of water hitting the glass makes you jump. You look around and watch as more water droplets start hitting the car. 

“It’s raining. I thought it was supposed to be sunny all day?”

“I thought so, too.” The thick, tense silence rose once again, making it hard to breathe. If there had been enough room, you would have curled yourself up in a ball and cried. But you could do that when you get to...

“Where are we going?”

“My apartment. Just for now.”

“Ah, okay. Do you have any alcohol at your place?”

“Maybe some (.....)-ya left. Why?”

“So we can drink away our sadness.”

“I’m not much of a drinker.” A second silence covers the car.

“So I can drink away our sadness.”

“We’ll see when we get there.”

~~~

Your feet feel heavy as you walk into Law’s apartment. It’s been a while since you’ve been inside it. After the project was finished, you stopped coming over. Law’s busy schedule and your own just didn’t mix. Sometimes, you’d text him to check up on him and ask him how he was doing. He’d take hours or a day to respond, but you never held it against him. He always answered before it had been 48 hours, so it was okay with you.

Looking around his apartment, you see things that hadn’t been there before: some plants, many pictures on the wall, a TV, and some knickknacks you recognize that belong to (.....). The atmosphere was more welcoming than when you first visited Law’s apartment. If an apartment could feel like a hospital waiting room, then that’d be Law’s place before (.....) put her touch on it.

Placing your things near the couch, you take a deep breath as you rub your sternum to try and soothe the pain in your chest. All the pictures of Law and (.....) smiling happily nailed to the walls made your throat go dry. The images of your own apartment clouded your vision as you remembered your own photos with Eustass. Pictures of times when you did matching Halloween costumes, went to concerts together, relaxed at a beach together, or the two of you would just stay home. Every picture held a memory. 

A once cherished memory is now tainted by the image of betrayal. No amount of effort can make that image disappear. Even your happiest memories become blurry when you hear (.....) calling out Eustass's name. It ignites a fiery rage inside you, and seeing (.....)'s face everywhere makes you clench your teeth. You feel like tearing apart every picture of Law and (.....) just to remove her face from your sight. Every bone in your body screams at you to lose control. To destroy everything that reminds you of Eustass and (.....) until it is nothing but microscopic pieces.

But you weren’t home. The home you once had was now lost to time. For now, your ‘home’ depends on whether Law will allow you to stay the night for tonight.

“You can stay the night on the couch for tonight if you want. I have blankets in the closet over there.” You let out an internal breath of relief from Law, answering your question without being asked.

“Thank you, Law. Can I make you dinner or something? Just so I can repay your kindness?” You watch Law lean against the kitchen counter before crossing his arms. His eyes staring out into space.

“I haven’t gone shopping yet this week, so I don’t have much.”

“I’m sure I can craft up something.”

“If you want, then go ahead.” The sound of a ringtone brings a silence to the both of you. You check your phone and see the screen’s black.

“I think it’s yours.” Pulling out his phone from his pocket, you watch Law look at the screen. A frown crosses his face immediately, letting you know the caller. Letting out a heavy sigh, you watch him answer the phone.

“What do you want (.....)-ya?” While you couldn’t understand what she was saying, the tone of her voice was frantic. You could hear sobs coming from the other line. Hearing them pissed you off to hell and back. Didn’t (.....) have a shred of decency? How dare she plead and beg after she committed such an act?

You had to sit on the couch to calm yourself down just so you wouldn’t start screaming at (.....) through the phone. As soon as your body relaxed on the couch, a wave of soreness came over you. It feels as if you’ve been working out for hours on end and only now stopped. Even your eyelids felt heavy as you feel tears starting to form and blur your vision. Trying to breathe normally falls short as you begin to hyperventilate. Your lungs burn as you can feel your throat constricting. It feels like you're swallowing your heart just to keep yourself quiet.

“I meant what I said (.....)-ya. I’m breaking up with you, and that’s final. You can come get your things tomorrow afternoon.” Hearing Law’s voice helped soothe a part of your aching soul. Hearing something other than your own ragged breathing helped calm down the streams of tears that were flowing down your face.

“I’m done talking with you (.....)-ya. Goodbye.” The sound of Law’s calls ending made you rub your face, trying to hide the tears that plagued you seconds ago.

“Your more civil than I would have been. I probably wouldn’t have even picked up her call.” Your voice cracked as you tried to let out a small laugh.

“She was asking me for a ride. Apparently, her and Eustass got in a fight, and he threw her out in the rain.” Scoffing in disbelief, you turn your head to look at Law, hoping he wouldn’t notice your puffy eyes.

“She asked you for a ride after cheating on you? Serves her right, getting thrown in the rain. Hope she gets a cold.” You can see Law’s body tremble and how he bites his lip. His eyes get glassy as he looks at the ceiling.

“Fucking a man.” Even from across the room, you can hear Law whispering to himself. You hated seeing him like this. Watching someone you care about hurt only adds to the pain you feel.

“Hey…do you wanna watch something to get our minds off them?”

“I should go back to work. They probably need me.” You let out a hum, hearing his words. A slight feeling of rejection crosses your mind, but you're quick to shake it off. The last thing you wanted was to make him uncomfortable. And if he was the type to work away his feelings, who were you to stop him?

“Well, drive safe. It sounds like the rain is hitting harder.” The sound of rain beating against the windows of Law’s apartment was finally acknowledged. Its beat almost matched Law’s own heartbeat as he thought about the phone call only minutes ago.

Hearing (.....)’s voice felt like nails on a chalkboard as she tried to explain what happened. The voice that once calmed his aching heart was now the reason it hurt. It was astonishing how fast his whole world flipped upside down. Earlier today, he couldn’t wait to come home and see (.....) and have her talk to him about her day. But now, instead of (.....) smiling at him, you were sitting on his couch with puffy eyes.

The way he could hear the tremble in your voice and how the light shined against the path of tears left on your face made his own wave of emotions try to surface. Even if he could tell you were trying hard to hold them back, he could see tears collect against your eyelashes. The sight had tears accumulating in his own eyes, making him look up at the ceiling to try and stop them. He didn’t need to show how bad (.....)’s betrayal has affected him. At least not in front of you.

Sure, you guys were going through the same thing together, but it wouldn’t help him or you if he let his own emotions out. It’d just be easier to shove them down, ignore them, and work until the pain left. He’s done it before, so he can do it again. 

“Um, Law?” Looking back down, he sees you standing in front of him. You refuse to meet his eyes as you fiddle with the bottom of your shirt.

“Yeah?”

“Can I hug you?” Law felt his heart skip a beat hearing your request. A part of him told himself no that he’d break down the moment you wrapped your arms around him. Yet, the voice of someone he used to know told him something different.

“Okay.” As soon as the words left his lips, he felt your body smushed up against his. Your arms held him in a tight embrace as the sound of your hushed sniffles made Law finally cave. Wrapping his own arms around you, a sense of comfort filled him. The feeling of being cared for once again was nice yet terrifying. As soon as the feeling would come, it’d leave just as fast.

But for now, he’ll indulge in your hold.

~~~

The blanket that wrapped around you did little to replicate Law’s hug. Sure, you were warm, but it wasn’t the same. It reminded you of how alone you were. You had no family in this city, and your only friends were (.....) and Law, but you wouldn’t count him as an option due to the current predicament. It felt like you were running in circles with every idea that popped into your head. Always leading to a dead end and making you start all over again.

You couldn’t go back home. It’d take you around three to four hours to drive there! Plus, you didn’t leave on a good note with your parents when you left for college. And if their last words to you were anything to go by, they didn’t want you back. You shake your head at the thought of your parents.

“No. No need to drag myself down even more thinking about them.” Slithering your hand out of your blanket cocoon, you grab your phone that was on your right. The black screen stared at you as it showed your reflection. Eyes red from tears earlier and a cut lip from biting on it so hard earlier.

A ding echoes across the empty apartment as the phone's black screen soon turns on. The quick flash makes your eyes burn before squinting to try and get used to the brightness. Once adjusted, you see a message from Law hiding in your notification bar.

-“I need a favor from you.”

-“Sure, what ya need?”

-“(.....)-ya is supposed to be getting her things this morning. I want you to make sure she takes everything and leaves her key in the dish by the door.”

A frown skims across your face as the thought of seeing (.....)’s face makes your stomach churn. It’s only been a day, and you're already forced to see her face? At the same time, Law did allow you to stay the night last night. So, despite your distaste for seeing (.....), you agreed.

-“Will do. Can count on me :)”

-“Thanks.”

-“How’s working going so far?”

-“Fine.”

-“That's good”

The urge to ask him what his plans were with you after you did him this favor ate at your conscience as soon as you sent that last text. Law was really the only one whose place you felt safe enough to sleep at. And he’s the only person you have in the entire city. You didn’t have a license since a lot of things were always within walking distance, so you never had a reason to. 

But now, you were on the complete other side of the city. What used to be a five-minute walk to your job now would take at least thirty minutes. You had no idea where anything was on this side of the city. Sure, you and Law would go grab an energy drink from the gas station when the two of you worked the night away on that old project, but that was two years ago. Who knows? Maybe that gas station doesn’t even exist anymore!

“Do you go here a lot?”

“To buy an energy drink and coffee every now and then.” The sound of small pebbles crunching under your and Law’s shoes goes unnoticed as you walk next to him.

“Okay, so every day then?” A laugh escapes your lips as Law rolls his eyes, yet a small smile plays against his lips.

“This gas station is the only place that sells my favorite one.”

“Which is?”

“Can’t tell you. What if you take it?” A smirk appears on his lips as he puts his hands in his pockets. Scoffing, you place your hand on your chest in fake offense.

“I can’t believe you’d think so lowly of me. Stealing your beloved drink? Only a monster could be so heartless!” Hearing Law let out a chuckle from your words made a heavy feeling of confidence run through your veins. He was always relatively quiet when in class, so it was nice to see him show emotion other than ‘bored.’

“How much farther? I’m dying to know the favorite drink of the future best doctor in the world.” A faint pink tints Law’s skin as he tries to look away from you, hoping you don’t see what your comment did to him.

“You really think so?” Despite trying to copy your playful tone, you can hear his self-doubt and hopefulness that your words were true.

“I know so! No one works harder than you! If anyone says otherwise, tell me and I’ll kick their ass.” Law could feel his palms grow sweaty, and his heart beat a little faster. 

Sure, he’s gotten praise from his teacher, but hearing it come from someone he had just met and barely knew felt a little more sincere? Why, he didn’t know, but he won’t complain.

“Will do.”

KNOCK KNOCK

The sound of light knowing pulls you from your memories. Looking up at the clock, you see it’s nearly three pm. You sigh as you shed the multiple layers of blankets you were snuggled in. The rage and anger from yesterday are still strong in your system, making you clench your fists. You walk towards the door when you hear your fingers popping from the sheer force. Unlocking it, you take a deep breath before fully opening it.

In front of you stood a very unkempt (.....). Her hair was in a messy ponytail, accompanied by red eyes and a red face. Makeup from the night before was still applied to her skin as mascara streaked down her face. Your eyes even caught the barely covered hickeys and bite marks that shined through her concealer.

“(Y-Y/N)?...Why are you…Where’s Law?” Her pitiful voice made you squeeze the doorknob tighter to try and calm yourself.

“He’s at work. Not that it’s any of your business, but he was kind enough to let me spend the night.” Your eyes narrowed at her as you couldn’t help but glare daggers at the marks on her neck. Noticing your stare, (.....) moved her shoulder to cover her neck.

“I see…” You move to let her in and shut the door behind her. She lets out a shaky breath before beginning to take down the multiple pictures hanging along the wall. The sound of sniffles hits your ears as you watch her grab the frames with shaky hands. Listening to her hold back tears made you struggle to hold your own.

How could she have done this? Years of friendship only to throw it away for some dick? Did you mean so little to her? You’ve been with her for everything! Breakups, grandparents passing, getting in trouble together, anything and everything you’ve done for her! If she needed a kidney transplant, you would’ve volunteered right away!

Now, seeing how a friendship can easily be thrown away like trash after years made bitterness fill your heart. If your best friend and boyfriend could betray you without so much of a second thought, what does that say about the strangers all around you?

What does that say about you? Did you do something to deserve this? Was (.....) mad at you and thought fucking your lover would get back at you? There had to be a reason. To be an explanation for the horror you saw yesterday. Maybe after a drink or two after (.....) leaves will calm you down.

~~~

“You got everything?”

“Yeah.” Just as she was about to walk out the door, you remembered that she still hadn't given you the key.

“I need the apartment key.” Putting your hand out, you move your eyes to your hand and back at her.

“I-I don’t have it.” Furrowing your brows, you sigh.

“Don’t bullshit me. I’ve known you for years, and I know when you lie. Now give me the goddamn keys (.....).” You watch (.....) bite her lip before digging into her jacket pocket. The light shined off the key as she gently put it in your hands.

“Can you say goodbye to Bepo for me?” Confusion hit you like a train at her request.

“What the hell are-you know what? Fine. I’ll say bye.”

“Thanks.” Closing the door, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. After locking the door behind her, you placed her old key in the dish Law has near the door for his keys. (.....) request puzzled you as you tried to think of what she was talking about.

“What the hell is a Bepo?”

Just then, a light pitter-patter echos in the apartment. Your heart stops as the sound gets closer. There shouldn’t be anyone else in the apartment but you. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you try to move quietly towards the kitchen to grab something to defend yourself.

“Meow!” You stop in your tracks upon hearing that noise. Embarrassment floods your body as you move even closer to the noise. Upon turning the corner, you see a white cat walking in your direction. A big white cat.

“Can’t believe I got spooked by a damn cat. Didn’t even know Law had a cat…a fatass one nonetheless.” Bending down, you move your hand to let the cat smell you. A smile appears on your face when it rubs against you.

“Hmm? What’s this?” Moving the fluff from his neck, you see a collar with a tag. Squinting your eyes, you finally see the name engraved on the tag.

“Ohhh…your Bepo! Well, aren’t you a cutie-pie?” With (.....) 's request finally making sense, you fight to actually fulfill it. With a sigh, you pick up Bepo and hold him gently. 

“Let’s send your dad a selfie. I think he’ll appreciate it.” You go to the couch, pick up your phone, and find the right angle for the picture. When you find the right spot, you smile as Bepo rubs his head against your face.

“Say cheese!”

~~~

It’d been a long day at the hospital. It felt like nothing went right. Sure, he put in his all, but he had to tell people how they were diagnosed with a terminal illness or dealing with dumb co-workers. The only good thing today did for him was keep (.....) out of his head. But now that work was over, the nagging thoughts could finally bother him once more.

Sighing as he unlocked his apartment door, he was immediately hit with the smell of something cooking. Whatever it was, it smelled good, and he was happy that he didn’t have to make anything tonight. When he went to put his keys in the dish designated for them, he saw (.....)’s key lying in the middle. A wave of relief washed over him as he finished taking off his shoes and coat.

“Oh, Law, are you home?” Your voice rings in his ears as he walks further into his apartment. He spots you setting up the table while humming to yourself.

“Yeah, I’m back. Did you make something?”

“Well, you’ve been at work for sixteen hours, so obviously, you should be hungry! Not to mention that you deserved a home-cooked meal after working so hard.” Moving closer to the dinner table, he sees a plate of grilled fish along with a can of what looks to be sparkling water. The smell of his favorite food drew him closer, and he felt a sense of calm filled him. It’d be the second night in a row you made him dinner.

“Where did you get the fish? I don’t remember having any?”

“Oh, after (.....) took her stuff and left, I used GPS to find a store nearby, and there was an organic type of food store only two blocks away! So I went shopping and got things! Except for beverages, so I stopped by the gas station we used to go to and got sparkling water 'cause you don’t drink and no way you’d drink an energy boost at eight pm.” You continued talking, but it was lost on Law’s ears as he stared at the set-up table. The fact you put yourself to go grocery shopping and making him dinner made his sour mood from only moments ago lighten.

“Thank you.” As he moves to wash his hands in the sink, he sees his beloved cat following you and purring.

“I see you’ve met Bepo.” Upon speaking, the cat changed his attention to Law. Bepo begins to meow as he prances towards Law’s feet before rubbing against them. Leaning down, Law gives him a few pets before washing his hands.

“I didn’t even know you had a cat. Did you just get him?”

“No. I’ve had him for almost a year and a half. Why?” He watches you lift your eyebrows and look at Bepo before looking back at Law.

“What?”

“Law. Do you see how big that cat is?” Despite just washing his hands, Law picks up Bepo and holds him in his arms.

“What about it? He’s growing.”

“That cat is obese. He needs a diet.”

“Bepo is perfect the way he is.” You couldn’t help but giggle as you watched him hold Bepo protectively and away from you.

“You can be delusional all you want, but come eat before the food gets cold.” Turning your back, you begin to dish up after washing your hands. You can hear Law rewashing his own before sitting on the opposite side of the table.

As awkward as it may be, the presence of one another brings a slight calm to your new chaotic world.

~~~

TAGLIST: @yuki190 @stachelrose @loraleiii @axcel-lucci @st4rfevrr @rexspersonalhell @nanapurinpurin @elen-alambil @starlightkitten19 @bby-deerling @queenofthekill @chaes-tea @emmaiscool22 @shuujin @augustanna @likeliterallywtf @iraaiitz @cherrybomb5000 @lavenderkaye106 @jabean @wrennyx @jamaicaa-blakee @ashortdork @kat2tired @nerdgeekandeverysweet-blog @getsue @kaptain-rebekah @reigenmagnet @rebeccawinters @keenzinemugstudent @mydearlybeloathed @firefistussy @throne-inmyside @littleleelee @thepurpleempath @yuji4lierrr @whodissbitj @slut-for-buck i hope i got everyone and if i didn't im sorry. I tried writing everyone's names

[cyborg-franky]

Hi! I recently discovered this and i took me a while read everything but i just couldn't stop it, I love it! Can you someday write something about F reader and Ace like childhood friends to lovers?

Aaaah I am glad you like! And I hope you like this, I don't do gendered readers I'm afaird <3 I hope thats okay.

Ace x GN Reader SFW WC: 889

You’d known Ace since you were both kids, when he wasn’t roughhousing and causing trouble with his brothers he was with you. You’d lay on the grass together and stare at the sky, watching the clouds. You could tell he enjoyed these moments as much as you, tired from a day of rolling around and screaming at Sabo and Luffy he just took the time to breathe in your company. 

“That cloud looks like a goat,” You pointed and Ace followed your finger, narrowing his eyes at the white fluffy shape before scoffing. “More like a sabertooth tiger,” He replied as if that was a simple fact and you were wrong. You huffed back at him. “But the horns look!” You nudged him with your elbow and waved your finger, trying desperately to paint the picture for him.

“You're blind!” He nudged back. “What?” You sat up and frowned at him, he sat up with you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him as he nodded to the shape. “No, no, look at it this way!” You rolled your eyes knowing you were right.

Despite the occasional disagreement, he was your best friend, and every moment you spent with him you were at your happiest.

-

“What?” You asked, loudly as you almost dropped your drink and stared at him. “Yeah! I got a boat and a crew, I’m finally ready to set sail as a pirate!” you shook your head, thinking about the long months he’d vanished, you’d been worried sick about him and now he came back with all these wild promises of adventure and claims he was ready to set sail and make something of himself.

Sure, he’d grown up, filled out, and come back with a devil fruit power, he still hadn’t gone into the details about that, but still. Ace was happier, confident and you were happy for him but the way he was coming back into your life just to leave again? 

You were both teenagers and despite the time and space that was ever between you over the years you remained best friends. You felt your heart ache as he carried on talking about how he was going to leave today, how the world was waiting for him. You’d always known he was desperate to be heard, to be seen, to pave his own way, and to avoid the looming shadow of his father's legacy, you’d just always hoped you could be at his side for it. To see him shine like the star he was.

“So,” You started and he watched you “You came back after all this time just to leave again?” to leave ME again.

“I- what? No!” He slammed his hands on the table, making the cups wobble and spill. “I was coming to ask you to join me! I don’t think I could do this without you.” He said with determination to get you on his side again before he reached over the table to grab your hands. “Come on, like we always talked about!”

–

Despite your better judgment you joined his crew, and became a Spade pirate. You hadn’t been serious when you were kids, how you’d both talk about the possible future but you couldn’t be without him again and you had a feeling he wouldn’t have taken no for an answer. Ace was as stubborn as he was cute.

You even stayed by his side when the Whitebeard Pirates had assimilated you all to their ranks, you’d cleaned Ace’s cuts, bandaged his wounds, and tried to talk him out of killing Whitebeard, though you knew that was never going to happen. 

It had been years now, the way you carried on growing up side by side. You’d held his hand when he’d taken the leap and gotten the huge tattoo on his back, you had a matching one, just much smaller than the one that marked his pride in his new life and role as the second division commander.

You’d gotten closer and spent all your free time with him. He was lying on your bed as you finished washing up for the night, ready for bed, and watching as Ace was dozing off on the bed. This was how it always happened, he had his own room but more times than not he would fall asleep on your bed and you’d wake up bing spooned by him. His strong arms around your waist and his lips against your neck as he snored.

“Marco asked how long we’d been dating today,” you started and he snapped awake, looking at you from under his hat. “And what did you tell him?” you laughed at his reaction, he must have been asked the same question by other whitebeards. “I said since we were young.”

You got into bed next to him, taking his hat and setting it on the nightstand, gently brushing back his hair and seeing his brows furrow as he wrinkled his nose. “Are we dating?”  you shrugged and got comfy, feeling him latch onto you almost instantly, 

“I think we crossed the line of what is acceptable for friends a while ago.” You said, closing your eyes as you felt the breath from his chuckle tickle your neck from how close he was nuzzling you.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

[alwayscorvus]

Till we fall apart

Till we fall apart

malereader x Calcharo, slight angst to fluff; shortest short of my life; like not really a post just a thing to think about; imagine;

-I can't believe you finally visited me! I started to think that those promises you made in your letters were just an attempt to pull the wool over my eyes

Your red-haired friend couldn't hide her excitement. It has been... how long? Since your first and last meeting? Three years? Your bond has grown significantly over that time but it didn't change the fact that seeing each other in person brought you both great joy.

-Well… I have to admit that at the beginning it indeed was like that-

You got a solid slap on the head for your words and laughed at it sincerely.

-But I'm glad that fate finally brought us together -you sent a broad smile in her direction- Of course, it would have been better if I hadn't lost my job in the process... -you scratched the back of your neck rather ashamed- But if this is how it was supposed to go, there is nothing I can do.

-I still can't believe they fired you- You worked for them for so long! And it was your first job! -she bit her lips- You took plenty of extra hours… and helped them so much! And they? How could they?! -girl was frankly outraged and annoyed- But don't worry! This is a great opportunity. We will find something perfect for you here!

You looked at Chixia truly horrified. You didn't plan to stay here for long. You had spent your entire life in your hometown, always avoiding leaving its gates. And after this vacations you planned to continue doing so.

-Oh sorry-

-Sorry!

You both said almost at the same moment. You lifted your head up, examining closely at whom you bumped into.

When your heart stopped beating.

Your eyes came across those unforgettable silvery ones.

That distinct Tacet Mark adorning his forehead-… And long white hair flowing in all directions-…

His facial expression didn't say much but his eyes betrayed a sense of horror and unbelief. All in one.

Man passed you with a quick movement and disappeared into the crowd of pedestrians.

-[M/N]? Is everything okay?

Chixia's worried voice awoke you from your trance.

-Yeah, yeah -you quickly put a fake smile on your face- So are we going to get that food?

You've been in Huanglong for about five days now, and have slowly begun to get used it. At the beginning, you met with Chixia most of the time. Accompanied her not only in her free time but in reconnaissance as well. You also met her friends. At that time, you were never bored. Since the last two days, however, this has changed. Big "secret" mission sentenced you to being alone. But you tried not to complain and explore an interesting nooks and crannies of the city in peace. It was going brilliant. You tasted a lot of good food, heard more than one legend and saw breathtaking things.

Everything would have been great if not for one problem. Whatever you did, wherever you went you felt someone's stare on you. Although it didn't happen for a whole day, it was still extremely annoying and creepy.

You tried to discover the culprit many times. But whenever you turned around, you couldn't see anything except a few deserted buildings or ordinary natives.

However, everything was about to change this evening.

You leaned against the railing. Below you an endless sea spread out, illuminated by the glow of stars that adorned the dark, gloomy sky.

-I was waiting for you to finally show up.

You didn't turn around. You knew that your oppressor was standing just a few steps behind and that he had finally decided to reveal himself.

-You shouldn't be here.

That voice… A shiver went through you. Memories came flooding back like an avalanche.

-I'm glad to see you, too.

-You shouldn't be here.

-You repeat yourself.

-You shouldn't be here.

You growled flustered.

-Exactly like you!

You squeezed the railing tighter. Tears began to run down on your cheeks in streams.

-You knew I had no choice- he sighed.

Finally, he took off his mask.

-Yeah… At least that's what you told me ten years ago. When you said goodbye to me. When we were still friends -you spat out sentences full of venom.

-I wasn't right for you. You would have been better without me.

-Pity that you didn't let me decide about it myself.

You began to tremble. You no longer knew whether it was due to emotions or evening cold.

Calcharo moved closer to you and, with a slow movement, snuggled into your back.

-You are not like me. You are someone better. Made for greater things -he spoke to you using the voice from your past- With me you wouldn't have a future.

You snorted.

-You know I just lost my job? I am currently unemployed with no potential to find anything better. I spent my last savings to go here. When I return, I won't even have enough money for rent. And you? How are you doing?

Calcharo furrowed his eyebrows, squeezed you tighter and snuggled his head into the crook of your neck. His hair tickled your bare skin nicely.

-At least you're not doing anything bad.

You ignored this and continued.

-And do you know why I can't find anything else? Because after you left me, I quit school. All I know now is to how forge weapons.

-Many people need that.

-Do you need that? Do you need me?

You subconsciously tried to seize every opportunity.

-[M/N]… You know we shouldn't-…. - his voice was almost pleading.

Calcharo was always cold and hid his emotions well. What you loved about him, however, was that deep down he cared about those closest to him. Mostly he did it in secret, but your parting seems to have knocked down barriers in him.

-If that's so, there's nothing here for me.

You announced in a firm voice. And pushed away from a railing, trying to slip out of his embrace. Calcharo, however, refused to let you leave.

Frustrated, you let out an excess of air.

-Will you find a place for me in your life?

He didn't answer so you laughed bitterly.

-Since you don't want me, there is no point of me being here now. I'm going back.

Despite your words, you made no move. You were waiting in anticipation.

-Stay with me one night.

Your laughter was endless.

-My one night equals a lifetime.

You finally turned toward him as he slightly loosened his grip. Calcharo took a few steps back.

He looked at you clearly beating with his thoughts.

He had to come with a solution fast. He knew that you were stubborn in your decisions. That's why he abandoned you back then without listening to your arguments.

Yet, minutes passed and your anxiety grew.

-Alright -he stretched his hand towards you.

And you? You reciprocated the gesture.

In the end it wasn't so hard to convince him. He probably missed you, too. He probably couldn't find his place on earth without you either…

I'm not really proud of it but I just heard "People you know" from Selena and had to write it.

[tokoyamisstuff]

What would happen if every Iscariot's vampire hunter had to lose their virginity before joining the service, to avoid becoming a vampire? Anderson would have to do it too. However, he was unlucky enough to have a child from a single sex encounter. And he discovered this fact only years later.

Anderson, who has been losing his humanity for years, is once again faced with his ordinariness – despite being a priest, a hunter, and a devout Christian.

I love your works. Thank you for being there. I have never read such works before, but your work has inspired me to start reading more, and I doubt I'll ever stop. I love it. Thank you. Really.

Oh gosh I love love LOVE that idea! Deserves multiple chapters honestly but I know myself, I'd abandon it...

Anyways thank you so much for the feedback, it really made my day! I'm incredibly glad you enjoy yourself! 💌

Anemoia

[n.] nostalgia for a time or a place one has never known

2,5k. words | f! Reader | no warnings | pre-canon | not proofread

They were told not to return until the deed was committed.

Most of his fellow Iscariot members made quick work of the task, visiting a brothel to just get it over with. The thought alone sickened Anderson to the core, but it was not his place to intervene.

Others never returned after getting a taste of the forbidden fruit, may it be the glimpse of a fulfilling life ahead or simply the affectionate embrace of a lover that made them cast aside their loyalty.

Whatever it was doesn't matter in the end. They were a disgrace, weakminded fools that exchanged the honor of serving a greater purpose for some feeble satisfaction.

Anderson used to judge them heavily, loathe them even, to the point that he swore his blade would not remain unused shall he ever run into one of those traitors...

...that was until he almost became one of them.

How could he ever forget?

The Paladin remembers your first encounter as if it was yesterday. Back then he was still a naive young acolyte, not less zealous in his faith as he is today but certainly a better man than what he had turned into.

Purging the world from sin beyond human comprehension inevitably corrupts even the purest of souls.

Such was his duty, his calling, all he ever knew and wanted to do.

Not once before had he struggled with temptation, if anything he was the most strict when it came to obeyeing the rules of the book.

So obviously indulging in carnal pleasure was something he just couldn't bring himself to do, no matter how he tried to rationalize the necessity of it. To him it was a mental block keeping him from going against his teachings, feeling like it would erase a central part of himself if he did.

But then he found you.

There was an old, barely visited library at the border of a small town Anderson had made his personal sanctuary until he found a solution to his predicament. He visited daily, spending hours escaping reality through busying himself in written words but that particular day his usual spot was taken.

A stunningly beautiful woman was sitting at the huge windowsill, buried in one of his favourite books as the raindrops drumming against the glass were scattering the faint daylight across her skin.

You noticed that he was staring way before he did so himself, a gentle smile spreading across your face as you scooted over and pat the free spot next to you. He reluctantly obeyed as you waved for him to come, slightly taken aback by the random act of kindness towards a rather intimidating stranger like him.

No words were spoken the whole afternoon as you read besides each other, exchanging subtle glances and occasional timid smiles. Your interest in him was obvious, as was his, yet internally he was spending this whole time fighting against an odd warmth that was spreading through chest, seeping into his guts and wrapping his brain in cotton.

This must be a sign from god. Yes, surely you were sent here to resolve this conflict keeping him from returning to fight alongsides his brethren.

If it needs to be done either way, then so be it.

He'd be damned to take advantage of a lady like you were one, though. You deserved to be courted properly first.

And so he began playing this dangerous game, kept ignoring his conscience and doubts and instead telling himself that this was the best way to operate.

The Alexander you got to know was a true cavalier, and besides many attributes his gentle soul you admired the most. You'd spend countless dates together, sharing enriching conversations and heartfelt experiences.

Each time he told himself the next time you'd meet he'd get it over with, but deep down he never wanted this to end.

At some point though you grew weary of his endearing hesitation, deciding to make the first move and oh the mind is willing but the flesh is weak.

Only when he found himself lying in the aftermath, your body enveloped with his and feeling as content and at peace as never before, he finally snapped out of this pleasant daydream.

At that point he knew he had to stop this at once, or he'd completely lose himself and drag you down with him.

Anderson couldn't allow himself to be this happy. It was wrong in the eyes of the Lord, and especially towards you it wasn't fair. You did not know what kind of beast you truly had invited to bed - no, love you.

This was not the kind of life he could ever imagine himself taking part in. Truth be told, he never knew he wanted to be until now that it was so enticingly in reach.

Ah, that's what this is: You were his final test before he'd ascend this pathetic humanity and become one of god's chosen holy warriors.

Ultimatively, just like this, he disappeared from your life as sudden as he had become part of it, scattering your heart in the process.

That was ten years ago.

Even now not a day goes by that Anderson isn't haunted by the memory of your smile in his dreams, the ghost of your touch under his palms and your balmy lips mending him to the core.

He never regretted his decision, certain you had long since forgotten about the bastard that deceived you and led the happy life you deserved.

To him however you'd always have a special place in his heart, the last remnant of humanity, grounding him during moments he felt more akin to the monsters he fought than the people he swore to protect.

What a coincidence that he has a mission so close to the town you had met in the past...god sure works in mysterious ways.

Finding himself reminiscing as he strolls across a cobbled path of the public garden he can't help the enamored smile playing on his lips, wondering what you've been up to these days. He's been praying for your well-being every single day, being the first thought after waking up and the last before closing his eyes to sleep.

You on the other hand almost spit out your drink as you saw him just casually appearing here again, eyes raking up and down his tall form several times until you're sure you aren't hallucinating or confusing him with someone.

Time sure had taken a toll on him, but that doesn't make him any less attractive. In the past you had only ever seen him with civilian clothes, but the distinct golden cross he refused to take off even in the shower you'd recognize anywhere. Your gaze gets stuck on the clerical collar adorning his neck, and together with his priestly attire realization eventually dawns on you.

All accusations die on your tongue when his eyes lock with yours, the whole situation so bizarre that the flood of conflicting emotions overwhelmed you.

One could think ten years are more than enough time to forgive, but forgetting is a completely different story.

Anderson freezes in his tracks upon seeing you, his mind instantly turned into a caleidoscope of shock and shame. For a moment he considered to just keep walking, fleeing rather, aware that there's nothing he could do or say to make up for what he's done.

Yet his heart betrayed his reason, giving in to this pull he felt towards you even after all this time. His feet moved as if they had their own will, hastily approaching you out of fear you might leave.

Your bottom lip quivered as you tried to keep your composure, looking up to the man that awkwardly towered in front of you. "Alexander" you scoffed, glaring daggers at him. "Or should I call you 'Father Anderson' now?"

"N-No, the first name is just fine, I mean...I..." he ran a hand through his hair, puffing out a strained breath as his words began to fail him. "I'm glad to see you're well."

"Are you really, though?" You cross your arms in front of your chest, the little crack in your voice sending a pang of guilt straight to his chest. "Didn't seem like you cared this past decade."

Despite your hostile demeanour Anderson hesistantly sat down next to you on the bench, groaning in frustration with himself. "That's- that's not true...it's hard to explain.."

"Spare me the excuses, it's far too late for that." You sigh as you glanced over to the man besides you again, wanting to scream and slap and shake him but you couldn't bring yourself to do so. He was a perfect image of misery, drowning in self-loathing as he should. Seeing him at least genuinely feeling bad for his actions appeased you in some way, so at least for now you refrained from reproaching him any further.

There was a strained silence that encoated both of you, and yet you couldn't deny the familiarity of each other's closeness.

In a way, it felt like no time had passed at all.

"So...have you always been a priest, or was I really so terrible that I drove you into celibacy?" you joked, making him chuckle a bit ashamed.

"Of course not. Neither of it. I was destined for this position long before I met you, but then..." he trails off, but you understood what he was implying.

Anderson folds his hands in his lap, tearing his eyes away from the ground to look at you. He was undeniably tormented by remorse, but there was a hint of something else in his features.

"I was fond of you, I really was." He still is. "You are an amazing woman, really. But it's more complicated than you think. This life...just wasn't for me."

Your expression softens significantly at his confession, but that didn't make up for even a fraction of what you've been through because of him.

All those years you had tried desperately to find him, but he was lost without a trace. You always wondered if he left because of you, or if he had really deceived you all this time. At least finally understanding the reason made you find some sort of peace with what happened.

"You're an asshole" you say anyways, and he nods in aggreement. "That was just cruel. You could've just talked to me or at least left a note. Anything but this!"

"I know, I know...but I was scared that I'd forget about my vows as soon as I look into your eyes again, like so many times before. I'm so incredibly sorry, you have no idea..."

Before either of you could continue the conversation, you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn around, dreading what you know comes next.

"Mooom, can you give me some money for the icecream truck?" The boy pleads with you when suddenly his attention falls on the man sitting awfully close to you. "Who's that?"

Anderson's face becomes chalk-white at the sight of the young boy wrapping his arms around you from behind, pecking a small kiss on your cheek that makes you snicker. He's got your facial structure that's for sure - but those wild ash-blond spikes and defiant emerald eyes hit him like a train.

All the things he's seen and done but this is what pushes him towards his breaking point.

"Oh, him?" Your eyes nervously dart between Alexander and your son, stuttering "Umm...that's Father Alexander Anderson, an old friend of mine."

"A friend?" His brows furrow in confusion as he had never seen him before. "You're friends with priests?"

You huff out a gentle laughter, ruffling the boy's hair much to his protest. "There's a lot you don't know about your mother. Now be polite and say hello!"

"Hello, sir." You watch proudly as the boy stretches out his hand for your aquaintace to shake. "I'm Nathaniel."

Nathaniel. Means 'gift from god'. Oh you.

Anderson's hand shake violently as he takes your son's way smaller one, eyes glossy with blinked back tears. "How-" he gulps harshly, giving his very best to appear calm despite his raging panic attack. "How old are ye, lad?"

"Almost 10!" he practically beams at the priest, blissfully unaware of this meaningful encounter. "Well...next year."

"He's very tall for his age" you remark, smirking almost a bit gleeful. "Got his father's genes."

"...I see..." Alexander squeezes the boy's hand ever so slightly before letting go, his index finger tugging on his collar that began to feel awfully suffocating. "Nice to meet you, boy. You're not causing your mother any trouble, aren't ye?"

"Of course not!" His offended reaction lured a timid chuckle to escape Anderson's throat, which you joined in as well. "Well then I guess someone's earned his icecream, am I right?"

One hand disappeared under his coat, and from the corner of your eye you could've sworn to see threatening steel beneath it. He pulled out his wallet, handing the boy a generous amount of pocket money.

"Thank you, mister!" the boy cheers, happily running off as he chirps something about how you should invite him more often. Watching your son safely arriving at the playground in the midst of the park you lean onto the backrest of the bench, cracking a placable smile. "You're surprisingly good with children."

"I-I...actually, I run an orphanage back at the Vatican." Voicing it made the absurdity of the situation crush him like a ton of bricks. All those years he lovingly raised so many children while his own alledged flesh and blood - and the love of his life - were struggling to get by. And yet while the thought of having a biological child may be terrifying considering his circumstances, having it with you of all people feels like a blessing nonetheless. "Is-is he really-"

"Don't you dare asking that question." You clutch the fabric of your shirt into a tight fist and your hurt expression makes his stomach churn. "Just look at him! He's your carbon copy."

"Yes, yes...he's perfect. Sorry...it's just..." he buries his face in his hands, unable to look at you any longer. "God, I ruined your life..."

"No you didn't" you spoke, voice firm and sincere. "It was my own choice, and Nathaniel is the best thing that could ever happen to me."

You put a reassuring hand on Anderson's shoulder, and he stared at you unbelieving yet in sheer reverence of your virtue. Suddenly he pulls you into a bear hug, letting out a shuddered breath into the crook of your neck. "Thank you for taking care of my wee boy..."

"He's a good kid" you whisper, hands finding rest on his back. "Well of course he is, no wonder with a mother like you. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Anderson slowly composes himself again, but his hands remain possessively on your shoulders. "I-I know I have no right to ask, but...could I visit him- the two of you?"

"That was my wish to begin with. No matter what happened between us, you're his father. You have every right to be a part of his life if you want to take responsibility."

"You have no idea how much that means to me..." Anderson clasps your hand with his gloved ones, his eyes intense yet loving as he solemny swears "We'll figure it out. I might not be able to make up for the lost time, but from now on, no matter what, I'll be there for you both!"

[dragonmasterhiccup]

A flicker of a smile peeked through her lips when he mentioned himself knowing her, the warmth coming even when he seemingly only used his words. "I'm glad you do, Hiccup."

Being a little comforted by the fact Ruffnut did back off after, Freya hadn't fully registered what he said about Arvid until he completely finished, blinking at her boyfriend in a bewildered expression. "Wait…you're telling me that guy wanted to dance with me..?" She scoffed, waving one of her hands in the air as if shooing something away, "Maybe him and Ruffnut should've tried dancing together instead..!"

She dramatically gasped when he gave a subtle 'threat' concerning the other viking, although the amused smirk she had on went against her 'protest'. "Hiccup! You wouldn't dare..!" Resisting the urge to quickly peck his cheek, she felt pleased that the future Chief showed he had the same inclinations towards the whole situation, even if she assumed he wouldn't actually hurt Arvid. Probably.

Acknowledging that he mentioned next year, another smile made itself visible on her lips, snorting quietly to herself before answering: "I think Gobber will outshine both of us..!"

Her eyes landed on the flowers he laid out on the table, lightly touching the intertwined black tresses to discover that he hadn't even messed up her braid either. "Yeah…I usually don't like keeping my entire hair in a braid anyways…but, thank you for helping, again."

Chuckling alongside him, Freya shook her head while poking his shoulder. "Hey, you still got it!" Her hand reached for his, gaze enveloped in affection. "Also, off topic, but I really enjoy hearing you laugh. You should do it more often." She added the last part in a playful manner, although she meant it.

"Nope…maybe we should pick a day where I finally count them all." She jested, simultaneously attempting to finish marking the rest of his freckles as he looked away.

It felt..nice talking everything out, despite Freya not used to always voicing her concerns about..mostly anything. Normally, she'd keep it to herself and wait until it didn't bother her as much, but this was different. And she was grateful for that. "I appreciate you, you know."

Melting into his touch, her eyes calmly shut as he kissed her, yet another smile forming at his response. "Thank you…I was just..nervous, I guess, to speak on things like that.."

She tried to contain her excitement once the winning question came, scooting closer almost immediately as she inspected his braid. "Yup, sounds good. Sure." Thankfully, Ayla's tie still remained strong enough to reuse, much to her relief.

Freya carefully held the small plait in one hand, her other one gently untying the lace from the auburn strands before undoing the braid. Not realizing how enthusiastic she appeared by the simple action, her voice was quiet as she spoke. "Thank you for letting me do this.. I've probably said that a hundred times already but I don't know what else to say.."

Brushing through the piece of hair with her finger, she made sure it wasn't tangled or ruffled in any way before attentively interweaving it. "Even though I don't like waking up very early… I'll see if I can at least get out of here more..promptly tomorrow." It was her favorite holiday after all, so she strived not to sleep in.

Sparing a short glance at the future Chief, she felt content, even if the braid was already close to being finished. "I'm happy I get to spend this Snoggletog with you, Hiccup. It's way easier to do that than trying to avoid you all day.." She chuckled, wrapping the tie around the intertwined locks as she shifted back to examine her completed work.

"There. Done!" Freya proudly lifted her chin, placing her hands on her hips. "Pretty good, if I do say so myself.." Remembering what happened a while ago with them both, she suddenly ruffled the top of his hair. "I hadn't said this yet, but your hair is very soft."

Realizing they still had the face paint on, she stood while stretching her arms. "Well… If I wanna get up on time tomorrow, I should probably..get to bed now… Clean this paint off.." She was a bit reluctant to be the one who brought the reminder that they eventually had to leave each other's company, but it had to be done.

Nodding to confirm, he replied, "If I hadn't gotten to you when I did, he was going to move in." At her comment, he couldn't help but laugh. "Ruffnut and Arvid? I think she'd sooner punch him than dance with him! Then Tuffnut would punch him too, just to not feel left out..." The mental image of it made him laugh a little more, shaking his head at the thought.

Grinning, his voice made him sound more serious than he actually was. "I would! Can't have him thinking he could just, move in on you like that now, can I? No, I think that Toothless and I should pay him a little visit, give him a little taste of just who he's dealing with..." Attempting to suppress a smirk, he arched a brow, nodding with as much seriousness as he could muster.

Laughing, he dropped the facade, running a hand through his hair. "No, no, I--I probably wouldn't, unless he continues the way he was going tonight." The way Arvid glared at Hiccup didn't get past the future chief, and that anger could someday rear its ugly head...with himself or Freya as the target.

Finding her snorting to be kind of cute, he smiled warmly at her and answered, "Gobber outshines all of us, every year!" Laughing lightly, he added, "If I'm dancing with you, I may not even notice Gobber's moves next year..."

Giving a small nod, he said, "Anytime. I'm here for you, no matter what you need." Cheesy? Probably. But, she did say he was the only one who could get away with it...

Turning to face her, he was still laughing, "Got what? Limbs?" Holding up his arms and sticking out his right leg, he jokingly said, "Ah, yes! Three out of four! Not too bad, hey?" Still smiling, he tilted his head. "Yeah? Thanks, I uh, I like yours, too!"

Playing along, he nodded. "Sure! But," he held up a finger, "but, I wouldn't know what to do with you staring at me like that. I'm afraid the only option is for you to count them while I sleep," he spoke casually, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips, "otherwise, you might not get me to sit still long enough!"

The laughter having died down, he laced his fingers between hers, sitting closer. "I know. And...you oughta know that I appreciate you too. More than I can ever say."

Shaking his head, he gently brushed a stray hair out of her face. "Don't be. If we want this to work, you need to know that if anything is bothering you, I want you to tell me, and I'll do the same with you."

He couldn't help it, he chuckled lightly at her restrained excitement when she heard his request. It made him suspect that she was hoping he'd say that all along.

Tilting his head to give her better access to the braid, he was still smiling as she removed the tie. "Yeah, of course. It's not exactly easy for me to fix it myself, given the length and angle."

Keeping his head still, his eyes darted over to her. He too was glad she was no longer avoiding him. Now that they were so close, he couldn't imagine what things would be like if she distanced herself again, or they never got trapped in that cave. "Me too. You know, I was thinking..." He paused before continuing, "I was wondering, do you think we could meet in the cove for a bit tomorrow? Just the two of us? A-and our dragons, of course..."

He squeezed his eyes shut, suppressing a grin when she ruffled his hair. Once she finished, he reached up to smooth his unruly locks, "I guess it is kinda soft. Not sure what I did to get it that way, but I'm glad you enjoy it, all the same!"

His expression fell a bit, realizing they'd have to say goodbye soon, even if it was only for the night. Reaching up to touch the paint on his cheek, he said, "Right, I uh, I forgot about that..." Standing up as well, he pushed his chair back in.

"Why don't we help each other get the paint off, before I head home?"

[rocknvaughn]

Hello, I have recently discovered the bbc show Merlin, and subsequently the actor Colin Morgan. Your blog has so much valuable material that I still keep discovering (I'm new to tumblr and don't really know how to navigate etc.)

You seem to be an expert on Colin Morgan questions. So I would like to ask how would one search for his future stage performances? I would love to see him perform on stage, which wouldn't be easy for me of course - I am U.S. based. So far I wasn't able to find anything scheduled for him to perform on stage.

It seems that his past play recordings aren't readily available to watch online either, or maybe they don't exist. This would be my second question - are there any recordings of the plays he was in, and where to find them?

Thank you so much for your time and expertise!

Hi!

I'm not sure how old this message is as I am not on Tumblr that much these days. So if it's been awhile, I'm sorry! I'm glad you've found my account a useful source of Colin info! 😊

Searching for Colin information in general has always been an uphill battle. Colin has no interest in promoting himself, so nearly always does news come from different sources: co-stars who post about a project, or a news article about a project and his name is attached. Sometimes we only find out about work he's done after it's released! (I'm also US-based, which certainly makes searching more difficult!)

Admittedly, I am not following his career moves as closely as I once did, but he's not done a play since 2020. For a while, he was doing a play about once a year, but then COVID happened and he's not done one since. He's always said that he loves the theatre, but he also loathes the stage door and avoids it like the plague (this second part isn't something he's said, but it's very clear based on his behaviour). It makes me wonder whether that avoidance has gotten to the point where the bad outweighs the good for him (though I hope that's not the case because he's a phenomenal stage actor!).

All I used to do was follow sites that would post about upcoming London stage news and sign up to be on the mailing lists of the larger theatres (and Google search a couple of times a week lol).

As for plays he did that have recordings:

The Tempest (2013) - Can be found at Shakespeare's Globe On Screen, Drama Online, or you can purchase the DVD.

Translations (2018) - Can be found on Drama Online, or if you ever get to London, you can visit the National Theatre Archive and watch it there.

All My Sons (2019) - Can be found on National Theatre at Home.

Hope this helps! ❤️

[lestappenforever]

I've been contemplating whether to reach out to you about this because I've been a frightened, anxious mess for the past few months, but I finally decided to go for it because I think it’s important that you know: I've been avoiding going for a pap smear for YEARS because I am terrified of doctors and haven’t had any symptoms that anything might be wrong. After reading about your experiences, I decided to suck it up and face my fears and booked an appointment.

Long story short: they discovered cancerous cells on my cervix.

I had the conization surgery two weeks ago and I'm healing well and feeling good. I'm hoping they will be able to tell me they managed to remove all the cancerous cells so this will be the end of it, but if not, I will deal with it.

I just wanted you to know that you sharing your experiences with this whole process has had a huge impact on me because had it not been for that, I'm not sure I would have made it to the doctor in time for a conization surgery to potentially be enough.

So if you ever feel like you're screaming into the void on this site (that's how I feel sometimes at least), please know that you are not. You have made an impact on my life, and I don't think I can ever properly thank you for that.

Thank you.

Anon, I honestly don't know how to properly respond to this, so please forgive me if my answer to your ask is not perfect.

First of all: I am so, so sorry to hear about the cancerous cells, that must be absolutely terrifying. Hell, I remember how terrified I felt just waiting for my own results to come back after my biopsy, and mine did not come back with any cancerous cells discovered. So I can only imagine how awful that must have been for you, and I truly cannot even begin to properly express my sympathy that you had to go through that.

That being said, I am endlessly happy to hear that you decided to schedule your Pap smear, no matter how frightening that must have been for you. I'm so proud of you for doing it despite your fear of doctors — that's a serious sign of strength. Not to mention how important it was to get it done when you did, given your results. And I'm so very glad to hear that you're healing well after your surgery! I really hope you've had little to no complications, and that you continue to take it easy and look after yourself as your body continues to heal.

I'm crossing everything I have that your results from the surgery will come back clear, and that they'll tell you they managed to remove everything the first time around. If you feel comfortable to do so, please let me know when you do get those results? I'd very much like to know the outcome and how you're doing moving forward.

I don't think you realize how much your ask means to me. Sharing stuff about my health struggles these past few months hasn’t exactly been easy, but knowing that doing so could have an impact of this magnitude on your life assures me that I made the right choice. So if anything, I should be thanking you for sending me this ask, and confirming that sometimes, being vulnerable on the internet can make a positive difference for someone reading what you're sharing.

From the bottom of my heart: Thank you, anon. You're amazing and so strong, and I am so proud of you. I'm wishing you all the best, and I would genuinely be so happy if you wanted to keep me updated on how it goes moving forward. If you want, please feel free to send me a DM. I love you. ❤️

[knight-intraining]

So I'd recently come out to my extended family (Dad's side) which was a big deal. I'd been putting it off for a long time, I chickened out when I got the chance 2 years ago.

And they're all conservative Christians (like the Fox news redpilled about 30 degrees from being far right kind).

Recently my aunt (Mom's side) came to visit for my birthday and she hid a very hurtful "gift" with the other gifts that of course I didn't discover until after she left (as she meant for it to happen).

So I was worried. Because this aunt is less extreme than my dad's side, or so I thought.

But! It went really well!! And I just felt SO secure in myself. I can not put into words how good it felt to finally be my authentic self with them.

It was weird to realize how far I've come in my self confidence and self-assuredness that like this is who I am and you're not changing it and if you don't like it - fuck you.

I didn't realize how much I'd grown in terms of independence and feeling secure. That I could have told off anyone who said something nasty, that I could have stood up for myself or others in the face of mistreatment. That I'm no longer living my life just to avoid being yelled at (!!!!!!)

Like, just a couple of years ago I felt myself shrinking around them, folding in on myself, didn't feel like I could stand toe to toe with them. And I've never been able to voice my own opinion about their nonsense.

But it was different! I was able to stand tall and go toe to toe and voice my opinion! I didn't feel the pressure to stay silent and in fact felt pressure to say something!

I felt like my own person, not just my dad's daughter.

I'm just really happy, it went really well and I'm really glad I went

[kureis-writing-hell]

YOU AND HIM - Pre-Canon Chisaki Kai x Masc!Reader

I did not think I will finish this today. I need to go to work. H.

Rating: M, Minors DNI. Nothing explixit happens but it got a sexual undertone. The reader is a hero, masc but GN. You're thinking about how you met Kai and what your relationship with him looks like.

It's my first work of this kind and tbh I'm gonna do more!

You're Kai's personal annoyance for years now. How? Why? You ask this yourself every day.

Nah, that's a joke. You're just this good in bed!

There are two ways to put Chisaki Kai in the mood and you have mastered both of them.

Honestly, it wasn't easy. You had to get close to Chisaki first, which was basically impossible. He always had that guard dog Kurono around himself back then. But you're stubborn, especially when you want something. Or someone. And if said someone had a pretty face, fluffy hair, long lashes and golden eyes you would do anything to get them for yourself.

You guess Chisaki saw a good business in you when you finally managed to corner him. He's a good head shorter than you but you can clearly remember how calm he looked back then. He was perfectly sure that you couldn't even touch him, and you knew why. You did your homework. You knew to avoid those deadly palms.

He thought he was getting an errand boy back then. A street rat who could do some dirty job for him, while he stayed behind, clean and pristine. It was a few years ago after all, Chisaki was still trying to find his place in Shie Hassaikai. He thought he's the most intelligent guy in the world too. Oh how good he looked when he found out that the truth was quite the opposite!

You played his game for a little bit. You knew you had to, otherwise you wouldn't be able to learn more about him. You discovered how much he hated quirks. You tried to figure out how far you could push him too. Despite him thinking that you worked for him, he allowed a lot, as if nothing ever could get to him. But oh, you could be annoying, back then and nowadays. It's an art you mastered perfectly.

Today you think that Chisaki underestimated you since the first day you two met. The overconfident prick disregarded you, your quirk and anything tied to you, that's why he didn't run a simple background check. It was a basic mistake, Chisaki was still learning, still couldn't figure people out that well and he was too sure everyone would follow him to be cautious. You're very glad you were the person who taught him that lesson. It's something you would never admit out loud but you wouldn't want him to get betrayed by someone worse than you.

Which you did, you guess, back then. You had your fun with Chisaki for two months then, you got under his skin constantly but slowly learned your ways around his mysophobia and aversion to quirks and other people. It was going well. You could see that Chisaki was starting to trust you. And then that annoying guard dog Kurono made his own move.

He found out, and told Chisaki, that you're a hero.

A big no no for Chisaki and you knew that. You two even fought. It was something you'd rather avoid because you knew how good Chisaki was and how temperamental he was (is) and you'd rather avoid dying. He still had a lot to learn and you were good too though. You pinned him on the ground, hands above his head and managed to hold his glare. He couldn't even hide the betrayal back then and you guess that's what pulls you towards him. For someone who wants to make yakuza great again he's certainly too naive.

You left back then, to give him a bit of space. You focused on your hero work. Except for a few petty crimes and some fights Chisaki didn't do any real harm to people, he didn't even like to use his quirk when it wasn't necessary, so you saw no point in reporting him. You still wouldn't, but for fairly different reasons.

First time you two kissed was when you met the next time. It was an unexpected meeting. You were running around on your daily patrol when you saw Chisaki, together with Kurono and some blonde new guy with glasses walk out of a shop. You stopped and glared, wondering about the new guy, and you're still pretty touchy about Shin. Chisaki saw you, at first disregarded you as some annoying hero and then obviously caught up on who's standing there.

Kurono started barking around, wanting to protect his boss like a good guard dog, but Chisaki sent him and Shin away. You were surprised that he wanted to talk. He was obviously angry when he was leading you into a more secluded alley. He kept ranting about honestly everything, keeping you confused until he focused on you again.

You're still not sure what pushed you to kiss him. Maybe you were aware that nothing could make this situation worse, so you tried to take all you could. Maybe you saw something in his cold eyes. Who knows. But you still grabbed him when he paused his rant and pressed your lips to his.

One thing you forgot at the time was his mask. You ended up kissing him through the cloth. And at the moment you thought you really will die.

Chisaki made the most adorable, surprised sound, then seemed to relax just for a few seconds before pushing you away. He immediately threw his mask off, gagged, then looked at you incredulously. What an amazing reaction to being kissed, huh?

"At least it's out of the way now," you half joked then. Then, before his dumbstruck brain could catch up you proposed a date. And then, not waiting for him to reject you, you tossed him time and place and left the alley.

He showed up - or rather waited for you to show up. It was a disaster. And your last official date.

It was also just the start of your mutual story. Chisaki still refuses to ‘date’ you, but he’s happy to moan under you every time you come around. He won’t go to a restaurant with you anymore, but, sometimes, will eat take out with you and watch a bad movie on your TV and then cuddle with you while asleep even though he refuses to admit it in the morning.

Which takes you to the substance. Putting Chisaki Kai in the mood.

Back on that date you discovered he loves to be pampered. Nothing makes him melt into your arms as well as a scalp massage, or soft praises or kisses on his neck. Neck and ear especially. He will blush like a tomato, huff at any remark about it and then lean just slightly against you, so you could continue. And he’s very… sincere in those moments. You love it. He could be a scary street thug daily, with his gang and impossible quirk, but in your hands he’s just another young adult, chasing pleasure. And he is still getting better and better for you. Bareilly a few months ago, when you were especially mushy and sweet with him, he rewarded you with riding your dick for a good portion of the night.

And oh, how beautiful he was. Muscles moving, body shaking, the little jolts and moans he made. You still can’t think about it in public.

Now, the other way to get him to spread his legs for you is a bit tricky.

Chisaki is proud. Always was. He’s often stressed and his untreated mysophobia doesn’t help. And you got a very bad, even rotten tongue. And you’re a hero! The list of your crimes against Chisaki goes on and on and so it’s very easy for you to piss him off.

It’s not that you do that intentionally too. You just tease, and you do that naturally. Then he gets mad. And then you have to act fast if you don’t want to end the night alone with a box of tissues.

You found out that side of Chisaki when you two had one of your fights. He was angry already when you showed up, in one of your secret meeting love hotels - his least favorite one. His mysophobia was acting up but he refused to tell you what happened. He was being difficult, you got annoyed, you two started arguing. It quickly shifted to some sparring and you already knew this night he will leave you alone. Then, you pinned him to the carpeted floor, right by the bed, face to the floor. You started saying some angry blabber but then noticed he wasn’t listening to you. Stopped fighting even. His eyes were focused on something under the bed, his face was pale, and you quickly checked what it was.

An used condom.

Assuming Chisaki would start puking in a second - you considered it yourself - you let him go and lifted him from the floor. The frustration was gone, you started worrying now, until you saw the tent in his pants.

How? You still wonder oh so often. Chisaki that you knew would throw a tantrum and burn the place to the ground, but it didn’t happen. Chisaki kept refusing to address the topic. You were curious but fine with it. After all, it opened a new door for you.

He loves filthy sex. There's not always a time and place for it, but when he's difficult, or when you say two words too much, you can always easily turn it sexual. You still keep testing the boundaries. For example spitting in his mouth while he fights against it makes his dick twitch and ooze precum. But talking about piss turns him off. This side of his sexuality makes him so perfectly ashamed too. He always complains about it, always refuses and fights but always lets you do your thing. And he never overhauled you before, either. Not when you made him lick your shoes, not when you pushed your cum-covered fingers into his mouth.

There’s no safe words between you two, after all. Only the risk of dying every time you push his boundaries and god, does it rile you up!

When you first saw Chisaki Kai you thought that he’s going to be a fun, little side toy. Inexperienced and vanilla. He was barely twenty then, after all. Now? Now you’re invested and excited and protective over him even.

And you fear that if he knew that, he would really overhaul you for good.

[ramonag-if]

I loved chapter 6 😍. Dear author the emotional trauma was chef’s kiss 😚👌

My opinion on Salyra has not changed but worsted lmao 🤣 . That being said I don’t doubt Salyra loves the MC in her own complicated way, but the path to hell is paved with good intentions 👀, and there is so much that a person can endure and forgive… You have build a really interesting character and the fact that there’re so different responses to Salyra speak well of your writing.

I was expecting the reveal about Erlan and the probable role Salyra had in it, but the implication on why she had the MC hit in the feels. Poor MC when they will discover the secret Salyra is trying to keep. I love how Salyra only followed them to avoid her old friend to spill the beans 😂.

On the other hand i can forgive Ahlf’s role in chapter 5 angst, he was only trying to protect the MC, and my MC would have reacted the same way (like father like daughter much to Salyra’s chagrin 🤣). Maybe it is because i read Ahlf’s side story? Or maybe because his secrecy seems to be propelled by a wish to protect, while Salyra seems to act in fear of the MC’s reaction? 🤔

Now I have a doubt: was Salyra truly the fugitive she believed to be? We already know that Erlan wasn’t a threat to the MC or the vinian family, so it is not hard to believe that he wasn’t so obsessed in finding her outside of Ishari. I mean I don’t doubt Erlan would have danced on her grave if in the war effort she ended up dead, but going to the lengths of finding her for years outside of Ishari… 👀

I'm so glad you enjoyed Chapter 6! 😊💖 I tried my best to make things about the MC and dealing with the aftermath of Chapter 5's events so I'm happy the emotional trauma hit the mark 😅

Salyra is a complicated character and I never wanted her to be this perfect mother who swoops in to save the day, after the MC had to live with Ahlf for so long 😅

Erlan's death is going to come up in Part 3, because I wanted to focus on the main plot points for this chapter and to foreshadow the MC's reason for being born 👀 Salyra did not follow the gang to meet Sangasu - she had already been planning to head there but didn't think the MC would have gone too 😂

Ahlf did try his best to protect the MC and by part 3, you will get to learn more about his role in the whole Salyra/MC relationship 👀 the side story does explain a little about how it started, but there is a lot more that still has to be explained.

She was for a long time on the run, but with age, Erlan grew more reluctantly to continue fighting a battle he seemed unable to win so he lost interest after some time. Whether or not Salyra was really being sought by Erlan is a matter of perspective 😅😬

Thanks for playing and for your support! 💖

[floof-ghostie]

Gimme the rundown on your trisona!!

I'm glad you asked! Solaris has a lot of lore to them, which includes their backstory, what they do for a living, and meeting Vash!

Okay so:

Solaris Peverett grew up in a town that was very very closed off and not exactly a welcoming place for those who are "different". They weren't treated well at home, didn't have any friends, AND they realised they were agender in a town that was very conservative (highly unusual, as most of Gunsmoke is pretty accepting of that sort of thing). This all culminates in them running away at the age of 13, which in hindsight was a very stupid idea, as the town was a good week's walk away from the nearest Plant, and Solaris packed like. three days' worth of provisions. Plus, they had no plans on what to do when actually getting to the Plant. To top it all off, they lost all of their food on the second day after nearly getting attacked by a sandworm.

A group of bandits ended up finding them on the fourth day, and after much deliberation on what to do about them (options ranged from killing, to robbing then killing, to holding them for ransom), and after Sola begged them to not take them back to their town, their leader (a very old lady, and mother to 5 of them) opted to just take Solaris in, and treat them like a member of the family to avoid trouble. So for 6 years, Sola travelled with the family, and learned from Granny to crochet and knit. They discovered many old crashed ships, and abandoned towns and villages. They also ended up making a name for themself, and earned a lot of respect from other scavengers and bandits for their skills (slipping into small spaces, being patient enough to cut big pieces free from fallen ships).

When they were 18, Solaris ended up returning to their hometown with the group, only to find the place deserted. Upon further investigation, they found out that the plant was long gone, and that there were several old corpses lying around. While they didn't really care about what happened to the townspeople, Sola was still surprised and uneasy. Swallowing their shock, they assisted in pillaging the town, and they never went back. They couldn't sleep that night.

At 19, Solaris decided that they wanted to settle down and have a more stable living situation, so they found a small house, complete with a small ranch on the outskirts of a small town called Midmay. They arrange frequent trips to scavenging locations, and generally keep to themself, and don't talk much. The villagers don't like or trust Solaris; they don't like newcomers, as most of the people living there have been there for generations (with some families being directly descended from the crew from Project SEEDS), whereas Sola has only just moved in. Sola is often referred to by the townspeople as "Sola the Bandit".

When Sola is not scavenging, or doing chores around the house, they can be found knitting or crocheting out on their front porch. They have an entire savings for yarn and other crafting supplies.

How they met Vash under the cut:

The story of how Vash and Sola met is a really funny one. At 22, Sola was examining the wreckage of a ship one day, when they heard a loud commotion on the other side. They walked in on a group of bandits and bounty hunters that they knew, tying Vash up, and bragging that they were going to be rich (Vash's bounty is 60 billion double dollars, so it's not like they were lying). Vash wasn't doing much to fight back, and was failing miserably in defusing the situation.

Solaris took pity on Vash (and would later say that he looked so pathetic, that they had to step in), and lied to the bandits, saying that they had made a mistake, and that the man that they captured was not actually Vash the Stampede.

Solaris: I can tell you right now that that's not Vash the Stampede

Bandit #1: What do you mean "That's not Vash", he's got the red coat and everything!

Solaris: That's exactly the problem *points at Vash* That coat is mauve, not red.

The Bandits:

Surprisingly it works, and the bandits end up leaving.

Anyways, after that, Sola invites Vash to stay at their house for a while, and warns him that the people living in Midmay aren't very welcoming to strangers. The inn is very overpriced, and Sola is willing to let Vash room with them for free until he gets back on his feet.

They also end up saving the town later on from some bandits, but that's a story for another day.

Hope you enjoyed!!

[rjalker]

I started highlighting and then I just had to keep highlighting.

There is so much going on here but first of all I hope this weyrwoman dies for abusing children.

But Tana neatly demolished his disbelief when she pinpointed yet another festering puncture wound in the arm of a weyrchild who kept complaining that his arm hurt. The headwoman had been sure it was an attempt to avoid his chores. Tana not only was correct about the infection but she touched her nose on exactly the point which the skeptical Persellan was to poultice.

The next morning the infection had come to a head and in it could clearly be seen the needle fine thorn which caused the problem.

Thorns from a variety of vegetation on the Southern continent were a constant problem to the healers. Most people wore little in the hot summers so there was more bare flesh which could be invaded by a casual brush against leaves and plants. Even tough dragon hide was not impervious to the problem though the protective layer just under the skin was rarely penetrated.

More often it was the rider, scrubbing his dragon, who found a thorn imbedding itself in a water-soaked hand.

Uh the rest is under a read more with a trigger warning for what I assume is...uterine cancer? Or something???

I'm glad they at least have AIVAS to ask about the proper procedure to perform because it is not fair to ask a dolphin to know how to perform a surgery from 2,500+ years ago. And like, she literally should not have this information at all but Anne McCaffrey is terrible at writing so whatever.

Not by any means thoroughly convinced of this method of ascertaining pregnancy, Persellan did bring women in various stages of a known pregnancy to test Tana and other members of her pod who seemed eager to prove their abilities. It was, however, a broken bone that persuaded Persellan. A broken bone, moreover, that had healed badly just below the elbow, inhibiting the free use of her right arm. The woman had come to discover if she was pregnant again, a condition she didn’t wish to continue since she considered that three children were more than enough to saddle the Weyr with.

“Bone broke. Healed wrong,” Tana told Persellan. “Here.”

“What about a baby, fish?” the woman demanded even as Persellan seized her arm, his trained hands finding the thickened joint. “I’ve had no bleeding in two months.”

“How long ago did that happen?” Durras jerked her arm out of his grip, scowling at the Healer.

“I didn’t come about the arm. I was a child when it broke. Fish, what about the baby?”

“No babbee, but full womb. Not good. Needs cleaning out.”

“WHAT?” The woman backed out of the water and ran up the sands and away from the diagnostician.

“What do you mean? Full womb? Needs cleaning out?” Persellan asked. He had been startled by Durras’ reaction but, in his long apprenticeship, there had been not infrequent occasions of interrupted flows where the patient had later had severe and constant abdominal pains and several instances where the woman had died: where only heavy doses of numbweed had eased the resultant pain.

“Growwwwsse,” Tana said, trying to enunciate a difficult word. “Bad things.”

“Growths?” Persellan asked. Intrusive surgeries were not a facet of healing, though he now knew that specially trained healers were actually cutting into a human body to relieve some conditions. Aivas had had much to tell the Healer Hall but very few had actually undertaken operations. He’d heard that the Hall had authorized after-death examinations. Even thinking about such intrusions made him shudder but valuable information had resulted. “Did the Ancients cut into a body to remove growths?”

“No need. Opening is there. Clean out. Then have babbee.”

“How? What opening?”

“Main one down below. Way babbee comes.”

Persellan shuddered again. The very idea of entering by that passage was repugnant. Still, a healer was often required to perform measures unpleasant, and even hurtful to the patient, to restore health.

[kudosmyhero]

Spider-Man: The Final Adventure #1: Destiny's Web

Read Date: September 26, 2023 Cover Date: December 1995 ● Writer: Fabian Nicieza ● Penciler: Darick Robertson ● Inker: Jeff Albrecht ● Colorist: Gregory Wright ● Letterer: Bill Oakley ● Editor: Tom Brevoort ◦ Glenn Greenberg ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers (👏=didn't like it, 👏👏=it was ok, 👏👏👏=I liked it, 👏👏👏👏=I really liked it!, 👏👏👏👏👏=I loved it!)

Reactions As I Read: ● the "final" adventure. is this gonna be a sad story? this is gonna be sad, isn't it

● Dr. Staphos. is she gonna be a sort of flesh-eater because her name is like "staph infection," and Peter was talking about bacteria just a couple panels ago? stickin' a pin in that one. ● I'm glad Pete takes his glasses off at home. when he wears his glasses at work (and why does he? they didn't look like safety glasses), he looks like a creeper I know… ● Ben Urich <3 I love Ben in the Netflix Daredevil series. Vondie Curtis-Hall played him so wonderfully! he'll always be my fave Ben Urich ● jaysus, this issue is 32 pages long?? ● MJ's pissed… ● 👏👏👏👏

Synopsis: Working away in a lab, Peter Parker does not miss being Spider-Man now that he is finally pursuing his true career passion, science. It has been three weeks since he took up his job for GARID Labs in Portland. He fought hard for this job for a few reasons, the first to get himself as far away from New York City as possible. The other is the fact that Giard was the company responsible for the experiment that accidentally irradiated the spider that gave him his spider-powers.[Continuity 1] He hopes to use this opportunity to examine his radioactive blood to learn all he can about it. As he is looking through the various projects that the lab has been working on. One that has caught his eye is a synthetic skin development. He is interested in its application for necrotizing fasciitis and wonders what they are expecting to accomplish. That's when Peter's spider-sense begins going off, he wonders why it is going off. That's when he sees Doctor Monica Staphos asking Eric Schwinner to change his decision to pull treatment on block six. However, Schwinner tells her that he doesn't have much choice in the matter. He refuses to budge on this because her project, dubbed SSD, is not ready for usage and she is trying to ram it through the system, and the other being that she is arguing about it out in the open in front of the other employees. Frustrated, Monica storms off.

Eric apologizes to Peter for the display, but Peter is used to dealing with louder people when he was in the newspaper industry. He tells Schwinner that working for Giard is a dream come true. Eric notes that it is ironic that Peter was once at one of their public displays when he was a teenager and now he is working for the very same company. On his way home from work, Peter thinks about the fateful experiment that gave him the powers of Spider-Man, and how the murder of Uncle Ben led him to using his powers to fight crime. However, Peter reminds himself that that wasn't his experiences, but shared memories he has with Ben Reilly. He recounts how he recently discovered that he is nothing more than a clone of the real Peter Parker.[Continuity 2] Although he spent the last number of years, he decided to retire after learning that his wife Mary Jane was pregnant.[Continuity 3] As he drives home, Peter realizes how much he and Mary Jane have grown up.[Continuity 4]

When Peter gets home, he discovers that Mary Jane has burned dinner. She is upset because she wonders how she is going to be able to raise a child when she can't take care of them. She wonders if they are ready for parenthood, but Peter assures her that they will be fine, even though Mary Jane worries that they are too young to be parents.[Continuity 5] After ordering dinner, Peter and Mary Jane go to sleep for the night. However, Peter can't fall asleep and goes digging around in their unpacked boxes to find his Spider-Man costume. Peter wonders why Mary Jane insisted on him keeping the costume since he wouldn't be able to resist putting it on.

Back in New York City, Ken Ellis asks Ben Urich if he can go over his notes about the trial of Peter Parker so he can try and determine the connection between the Scarlet Spider and the original Spider-Man.[Continuity 6] Overhearing this, Joe Robertson tells Ken that there is a no story and he should leave Peter Parker alone. However, Ken insists on poking into it. Ben Urich hands Ken his notes and tells him that he can get Parker's new number from Betty Brant.

The next day in Portland, Monica Staphos is not willing to abandon her synthetic skin project just because Schwinner is concerned about the well being of their test subject, a convict named River Verys who is suffering from a terminal case of flesh-eating disease. That's when she is contacted by Calvin Falconer, the head of security. He tells her that Verys is causing problems, and she goes down to see what the situation is, knowing that Eric will be upset if River dies while in their care. She goes down to check on him and discovers that he has been on adrenal overdrive since being exposed to her SSD project. Although this is troubling, she tells Calvin to contact her if River is still in this state two hours from now. Going back upstairs she ignores Peter Parker when he tries to say hello to her. Once again, Peter's spider-sense begins buzzing once more and he wonders why she is setting it off. Deciding to look into her current work, he discovers that the files have restricted access. He then looks at her past experiments, learning that they all have to do with necrotizing fasciitis. In one test the patient died, and in the other, the patient was released when they couldn't be cured. Deciding to look into this further, Peter prints off the reports. Having found lab results on her current patient the day before, Peter prints them off and compares them to the tests carried out on himself and Ben Reilly by Seward Trainer, because something about it looked familiar. Sure enough, a karyotype in the patient's cell structure matches that of Peter Parker, leading Peter to determine that the patient has undergone some kind of radiation therapy. Figuring that this could gave him insight into his own genetic structure, Peter decides to locate this patient.

Peter goes down to block six and begins making small talk with the guard to learn more about this wing of the facility. Just as he learns that this is where they experiment on volunteers from the penal system, their conversation is interrupted when Bill Galannan -- Eric Schinner's business partner -- walks past with Calvin Falconer. Falconer has told Galannan about the situation with River Verys. Galannan is upset about the damage the death of River could cause to his company. Although Galannan claims that this is out of concern for the ethics of his family company, Calvin knows that Bill is more concerned about their corporate image. Furious, Bill goes looking for his partner in order to figure out what to do next. Hearing all of this, Peter convinces the guard that he was asked by Monica Staphos to check on the patient. This allows him to get a sample of Verys' tissue. Confirming that he is suffering from flesh-eating disease, he discovers that Monica's synthetic skin derivative is intended to create a self-replicating artificial replacement for the tissue lost by the disease. Taking a closer look, he also learns that the structure of this synthetic skin has been irradiated at the same wavelength as the spider that gave him his powers. He decides to add some of his own blood to the formula, and it jump starts the derivative with the power it needs to multiply faster than the virus. Although it appears that this is a potential cure for River Verys, Peter believes in patience and decides to leave his experiment overnight to see what happens.

As Peter leaves for the night, Monica is getting berated by Eric and Bill, who warn her that if she continues to operate unethically they will fire her. After they leave, she expresses her upset at Calvin for not warning her that Bill was coming to lay down the hammer on her. He admits he didn't do so because he was upset with her, but also he figured Parker would have told her since he was there. This revelation comes at great interest to her and she decides to look into Peter's interest in her project more closely. Meanwhile, Peter is at a Lamaze class with Mary Jane. While practicing their breathing exercises, the Parkers can't help but laugh at this situation. However, Mary Jane notices that Peter looks tired, which her husband brushes off as nothing, reminding her of what little sleep he got during his career as Spider-Man. After class, Peter tells her what's going on at work, and assures her that this will have nothing to do with Spider-Man, saying that this may help them understand what to expect from their unborn child. Meanwhile, Monic goes over Peter's files and finds his tests on her synthetic skin formula. Seeing that he has appeared to perfect the cure, she runs the untested formula down to block six and pressures River to accept this next treatment.

The injection causes River Verys to transform into a spider-like creature. With his newfound strength and webbing abilities, he kills the guards and breaks free from his cell. Monic flees the scene and gets to a phone where she puts in a panicked call to Peter Parker. Peter is woken up by the call and hears just enough about what happened before Verys kills Monica. As he rushes for the box containing his Spider-Man costume, Peter wakes up his wife who asks what happened. When Mary Jane hears about the situation, she tells Peter to call the police, but he refuses to do so. He tells her that it is his responsibility because it was his blood sample that caused the transformation. He then tries to use their unborn child as another motivator for stopping this creature, saying that they can understand more about the child's physiology with this. Mary Jane is very angry at Peter for lying to her and tells him not to use their baby as an excuse to go back on his promise. He apologizes to Mary Jane and after putting on his Spider-Man mask, he leaps out the window telling Mary Jane that he has no choice.

(https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Spider-Man:_The_Final_Adventure_Vol_1_1)

Fan Art: Spider-Man and Process Vid by medders

Accompanying Podcast: ● Untold Talks of Spider-Man - episode 11

[2o3dinge]

I know same! Like wtf I was just as stunned to hear him mention Colin in 2018!!! Like full name and everything, my favourite part is how he responds to that question " well that's an easy one..." 😂 why is it so easy, because you know him better than you know anyone....😏 I'm sorry how can you just suddenly out the blue acknowledge the existence of someone you actively have ignored for years and share so many awkward and obvious moments with (golden globes moment was insane!) and then the day after his concert in Dublin he was just wandering around Cols place of birth on his birthday! Who are they even kidding at this point, there's way too much weirdness and significance, and thanks so much I'd never heard this interview with J, never thought I'd hear him mention Colin let alone Alexander🤣🤣 so this was like three years later and he's back to forgetting Colins name, so obviously so as well, just avoiding him at every turn and tet referencing him "not my hair, Alexander's hair" I mean that's just not his name J and you know it!! 😂 it's giving 'never not die inside when I hear your name' or say it vibes 😂, aww I'm so glad us farrelleto truthers are still discovering new artifacts after all this time, I bet there's so much more out there too, it really is the greatest story never told 😭

"That's an easy one"

Hahaha... no. There have never been two guys less at ease in public. This 2010 charity Telethon comes to mind, the Golden Globes thing 2014 and, especially absurd, at Cinemacon 2016.

aww I'm so glad us farrelleto truthers are still discovering new artifacts after all this time, I bet there's so much more out there too, it really is the greatest story never told 😭

During the pandemic, those two pictures emerged of them hugging each other. That was the last big reveal. So it's about time... but we always say that. There has got to be so much more out there! Greatest story never told. It surely is.