#i'm genuinely not expecting anyone to read this

[lemotmo]

She's replying to a lot so you will probably get more but this one is 🥳🩶🤧

Q. The way the show set them up as endgame only to cave to Oliver and others is such a joke. I'm honestly so embarrassed for you all.

A. I'm not going to lie anon when I read this tonight my original reply was going to be far different in tone than the one I'm going to give. I want so badly to tell you all of the things that I have bitten my tongue on for the last several months but this has been an emotionally crippling week for me so I'm going to give you the grace you don't deserve simply because I don't ever want to be the reason someone is suffering. Make no mistake I have saved several asks specifically to come back to and address once the breakup happened so I will express those thoughts and feelings but you're going to get the benefit of kindness that you didn't bother to extend. I'm going to be kind but I'm also going to be truthful.

The show didn't set them up as anything other than what Tommy said at the end of the episode. The show has been very transparent with what Tommy's purpose was. He was never going to be anything more than Buck's introduction to his bisexuality. He was always going to be the first not the last. And the show could not have been more obvious about that. I actually genuinely enjoyed that break-up scene. And while I know that you and others will take that as me making a dig at Tommy, that's not what I'm doing. He did the right thing. He did the fair thing for Buck and himself. He's been where Buck is. He cared enough about Buck to stop him from making a mistake that would hurt them both. He did a good thing. He did the right thing. I understand that doesn't make you feel better because we have all been there. We have all fallen for a plot device at some point or the other. It sucks. And it hurts. And I'm sorry that you're hurting. Lots of you don't deserve that sympathy. But in this moment I'm going to give it to you. Because no matter how insignificant some people believe pain over a fictional television character is it is genuine pain for those of us who love that character, regardless if anyone else understands that or not. It fucking hurts. So you can hurt. And you can rage. But you don't get to rage at Oliver. None of this is Oliver's fault. He was the one being honest with you all. I begged you all to listen to him. I begged you all to follow his lead. Because those of us who have been here knew what he was doing. He was trying to protect you all from your expectations. We've been on the receiving end of that. We know what it looks like. And more than one person in your fandom was aware of what he was doing as well because they were Buddie shippers first. They just decided to pretend that it wasn't what they knew it was.

I don't know how to make this part sound kind because the truth of it is unkind but it is what happened. He grifted you all. He knew he was temporary. He can say whatever he wants in an interview but he knew because the show wasn't subtle about his plotline. He knew he was temporary but he was aware enough of you all that he saw an opportunity for self promotion and he took it. At the expense of you. He sold you a tissue of lies. And he always wrapped them up just generic enough to allow him plausible deniability for intentionally misleading you. But that's what he did. He willingly and intentionally lied to you and he charged you a fee to do so. And it was disgusting. He's who you should be mad at. I know you won't. You all decided a long time ago that whatever happened was going to be Oliver's fault and Buddie fans fault. But neither one of them lied to you. He lied. You should care about that. It should bother you. Because it's foul and obscene. He took a shot at trying to force the show/network into giving him more of a role and it was a wild miscalculation on his part. That's not how these things work. He should have known that. I don't feel sorry for him. He did this to himself. I am sorry that so many of you feel played, but Oliver and the show didn't play you. Lou did. You all have the right to tell him. And you should. You're allowed to feel your pain but make sure your anger is aimed in the right direction. Take care of yourself though, anon. You can mourn the character but the actor doesn't deserve your tears. 💗

Thank you for dropping this post and it's follow-up in my inbox Nonny! Much appreciated!

Yep! I agree with a lot of this.

The only thing I don't agree with is that I didn't like that break up scene all that much. I really needed Buck to be the one to break up with Tommy. I understand why it went the way it did and it makes narrative sense in some way, but I still don't like it.

The way some of these people are blaming Oliver for this, for leading them on? That's insane. Lou is the one running around, telling blatant lies for money. And the racism towards Ryan?

Man, I hope all of these people just leave forever and never show their ugly asses in our fandom again.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[salemrph]

"I won't admit it" Sylus x MC

Summary: Tera notices that you have change in the past time, and she needs to address this. Are you going to admit your feeling for him?

This take place after the match in Radiant Brilliance.

Character: MC x Sylus

Genre: Comfort + Fluff | Pet names : Kitten, Sweetie, Sweetheart

Warnings/Additional Tags: f!reader, date, humour, some intimacy

| Word count: 2676 | Reading Time: 18 min |

A/N: This is my first fanfic, and English isn't my first language. I hope you enjoy it! I've been reading a lot over the past few weeks, and I noticed that more fluffy and soft content is needed for Sylus and MC.

His arms tightened around you as his countdown reached one, and he placed a gentle kiss on your hair. Your phone clicked, capturing the moment. The picture of you two was saved instantly.

"Send it to me" he said fast. You're confused about what happened. "Now, there is new material to watch on the base " his voice soft and genuine. He lets out a soft chuckle, amused by your reaction.

The memory of that event crossed you mind while eating a few days later, in the cafeteria with Tera. She looks at you with a wide smile and says:

"And...? How long are you with him now?" You almost choked on your food hearing that question. "Hey, you okay there?" Tera asked, looking at you with concern as you attempted to clear your airway. "You're not dying on me, are you?"

After a few sips of water, you finally managed, "Yeah, I’m fine," you croaked, coughing once more. "Just… wasn’t expecting that question."

Tera’s grin widened, sensing she'd struck a nerve. "Oh, come on, spill the beans," she teased, clearly enjoying your reaction. "It’s obvious you’ve been seeing someone. You’re practically glowing lately. So, how long have you two been together?"

You hesitated. On one hand, you knew Tera wouldn't rest until she had all the details about whatever she thought was happening. But on the other, you were reluctant to share details about your relationship with Sylus.

"I... I'm not seeing anyone, Tera." You tried to play it cool, but recalling that soft kiss from him made you feel your cheeks warm up.

"You´re blushing! I knew it! "Tera stood up for her chair and bend over the table. "I'm your best friend, come on! Who is he? Oh my god! It's Zayne?! Or maybe... Xavier?!

"What? No! And keep your voice down…" you muttered, feeling a surge of embarrassment. You looked around, worried about others overhearing. “Again, I’m not with Sy… anyone.” Your lips hesitated, betraying you. Fuck.

Tera’s gaze was intense, searching your face as if she was reading your mind. She seemed to sense something you hadn’t yet admitted to yourself. Every what happened between Sylus and you has been like a roller coaster ride. Form being his "personal armoury" as he call you one time, to take tare of his wounds and going on getaways with him. It was all jumbled inside of you, unspoken and unprocessed.

You sigh, knowing there's no way to get out of this. Tera smiled.

"Alright, alright" you concede, a small smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. Thinking that maybe Tera could hear you out a bit. "It's complicated, okay? Can we talked in other moment, and I don't want anyone overhearing."

"Fine," she grumbles, although her curiosity is still evident in her eyes. "But the minute we're off the clock, I'm dragging every single detail out of you.

You chuckle at her tenacity, secretly relieved that you managed to dodge her questions for now. "Deal," you agree, a wry smile on your face. "The minute we're off the clock, it's Question Time."

Tera grins victoriously, clearly looking forward to her interrogation. "You'd better believe it," she replies, taking another bite of her food. "And don't try to pull a fast one on me either. I can smell lies from a mile away."

Despite your best efforts to put off the interrogation for as long as possible, taking more workload, you find yourself dragged out of the office by Tera, her grip on your arm firm and unyielding.

"We're going out for drinks," she declares, her voice brooking no arguments. "And we're not stopping until you've spilled every single detail about your mystery man."

You try to protest, to suggest a different time or place, but Tera is having none of it. She's determined to get the answers she wants, and she doesn't seem inclined to wait.

So you find yourself being herded into a nearby bar, pushed onto a stool next to her at the counter. Tera orders a round of drinks, sliding one towards you.

"All right," she says, fixing you with a determined look. "I've waited long enough. Time to spill the beans. Who's this guy, and how long have you been seeing him?"

“A couple of months…” you muttered, but Tera rolled her eyes. Clearly dissatisfied with your vague answer.

"A couple of months, eh? That's all you're giving me?" She takes a sip of her drink, scrutinizing you closely. "Come on, you can do better than that. What's his name? Oh, oh, oh! How about this guy of the other day? Mister Sky, right?

You feel a pang in your heart. You take a hefty gulp of your own drink. You know Tera won't let up until she has every single bit of information she wants, and you're resigned to the fact that you're going to have to give her something. Sorry Sylus... You´re apologised in your mind.

"I'm... not with him, alright" Tera let out a cry of excitement. "Come down, we are... just friends, okay?" you stammered. You´re not even sure if you can address that whatever you have with Sylus is like a friendship, but... is the easier way.

"As if!" Tera snorted. "What else?" She takes another sip of her drink, her gaze still fixed on you.

You sighed. You don´t want to answer all her questions.

"We... have spent a lot of time lately. That's it"

"That's it?" Tera crossed her arm. "Liar. You know what kind of look you had today at lunch?” She paused for a moment. "You’ve got a crush on him!"

"Huh?!" You felt your cheeks burn.

"You don't?" Tera sighed and gave you a knowing look. “Well, then why are you always around him?”

You think about the deal you made with Sylus before the auction. All the events you have been trough with him. Somewhere along the way, your heart had started caring for him. You hesitated, not wanting to admit it even to yourself.

“I’m not sure. It’s just fun being around him,” you admitted.

“So, Mister Sky is ‘fun,’ huh? From what I saw when he went with us to karaoke, his eyes were all on you. If you’re not crushing on him, I’d bet he has a crush on you.”

"Impossible," you murmured, looking down at your drink. Sylus wouldn’t… would he? You're Hunter, you have a deal, that's it.

A flicker of the memory hit you, of him brushing his lips against your hair. The thought made you nervous, and you downed your drink in one gulp, ordering another. Maybe a bit more alcohol would clear your mind.

“Look, Sy… Sky, he’s just… flirty. That doesn’t mean he has a crush on me,” you said, trying to convince yourself as much as Tera.

"Y/N, then let's do a crush test" You look up. Confused about the statement. Tera pull out his phone and tipped a few time on it. "Okay, just answer this questions for me" I nod.

"Does he call you often?" You nod, thinking about the late-night talks you share.

I'm used to hearing your voice before I got to bed. So... I wasn´t able to fall asleep without it today...

"Does he clear his schedule for you?" Your mind flashes back to the time he rushed through a meeting to bring you back in his jet to Lincoln City. "Does he give you gifts?" You remember the set of aromatic candles he sent when you were stressed out over a presentation.

Tera continues through her list, and you keep nodding to every question. After at least 20, she finally puts down her phone.

"He doesn’t have crush. He fucking in love with you!" Your body tenses up at Tera's words. That's not possible. "I actually feel bad for him now. How can you be so blind?"

"Tera, stop. He isn’t…" You pause for a moment, your mind piecing everything together. Suddenly, all the sweet things he’s said to you over the past few months replay in your head. It’s as if he’s right beside you, leaning in, whispering in your ear.

I need to show them that I have already a lover.

You should know very well that I adore you.

It's not as cute as you.

You're look beautiful.

Are you satisfied with it, my beloved?

She studies your face closely, knowing she’s flipped a switch inside you. She waits for you to come to your conclusion. Tera seems to have a good idea that you’re leaving out some important details, but for now, she enjoys watching you consider the possibility of a romance.

Tera leans back in her chair, taking a long sip of her drink. "Y/N, you're a smart, strong, and beautiful person. Why wouldn’t he be absolutely smitten with you?" She pauses for a moment. "Look, if you aren’t sure about your own feelings, think about whether you’d be okay with him having a crush on someone else."

Tera pats your back and, for your mental sake, changes the subject. She begins talking about other gossip she’s heard and complains about her own love life.

***

As you walk home, the cool night air caressing your face, you can't help but think back to your conversation with Tera. You can still hear her words echoing in your head. With every step you take, the worry seems to grow a little bit stronger. You can't shake the feeling that you're walking into a trap, that you're setting yourself up for disappointment and heartbreak. What if you have crush on him? You can’t deny that he’s absolutely handsome and attractive, that he cares about you.

There’s a small flicker of hope deep within you—maybe, just maybe, the way he looks at you, the way he touches you, is real and genuine.

It’s late when you finally get home. You toss your shoes in a corner and throw your coat over the sofa. As you sink into the comfort of your bed, you hold the small crow-shaped stuffed animal close to your chest. The soft fabric beneath your fingers feels like a warm reassurance, reminding you of the good times you shared with Sylus at the arcade.

You check your phone before closing your eyes, just in case you missed one of his late calls. But there’s no notification. You turn over and close your eyes, a small smile spreading across your face at the memory of that date. You allow yourself to bask in its warmth for a few moments longer before slowly drifting off to sleep.

In that dreamlike state, you find yourself back at the arcade, laughing and playing with Sylus once again.

The sights and sounds of the arcade surround you—a kaleidoscope of bright colors and cheerful noises. You can hear the playful pings and dings of the various game cabinets, the clatter of tokens across the counter, and the laughter of children enjoying the games.

Sylus is there too, his tall and imposing figure standing next to you. He glances at you, a warm smile on his lips as he teases you about how badly you're losing at the racing game.

"Come on, you can do better than that," he teases, his voice laced with amusement. "You're supposed to be the gaming expert around here, remember? Don't tell me this simple little race is too much for you to handle!"

You playfully stick your tongue out at him in response, feigning indignity at his light teasing. "Oh, shut up! I'm just warming up, that's all! I'll beat you soon enough, just you wait!"

Sylus laughs at your response, clearly enjoying your playful banter. "Yeah, right," he teases. "You've been saying that for the past ten minutes. I'm starting to think you're all talk and no skill!"

He steps closer, a mischievous smile on his lips. "Or maybe you’re just so distracted by my charming personality that your game skills are suffering."

You try to ignore the way his voice makes your heart flutter, fixing him with a withering glare. "Oh, please," you say, rolling your eyes. "You’re so full of yourself, you know that?"

Sylus chuckles, clearly entertained by your defiance. "Hey, I’m just being honest. I know I’m a catch," he says, puffing out his chest dramatically. "I mean, look at me. I’m rich, successful, and devastatingly handsome. Who wouldn’t want to be with me?"

You shake your head at his arrogance, though you feel your cheeks flush slightly at his confident words. “You’re absolutely insufferable, you know that?” you mutter, crossing your arms over your chest.

Sylus grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Insufferable, maybe. But you love it,” he says, taking another step closer. “Admit it—you can’t resist my charm, sweetie"

You try to keep your composure, but it’s getting harder. Your heart is racing, and your breaths come in shallow gasps. He’s so close now, his body almost brushing against yours, and you can feel the warmth radiating from him.

He reaches out, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering on your cheek. “Come on, don’t look at me like that,” he murmurs, his voice soft, almost gentle.

He leans in close, whispering in your ear, “But… I kind of like it when you get all flustered in public. It’s cute.” Your heart skips a beat at his words, and you feel your cheeks grow even warmer.

Suddenly, he glances over your shoulder, then takes your hand, leading you into the photo booth. With a gentle push, he nudges you inside and steps in, pulling the curtain closed behind him, sealing you both in the cozy, private space.

“What are you doing?”

“We’re taking pictures, kitten,” he grins. “Isn’t that part of the arcade experience? Now, show me how this works.”

You sigh in relief, somehow expecting something more dramatic. You select some options on the panel, ready to get it over with.

“Choose some props if you want,” you hear the machine prompt. You gesture toward the small basket filled with cat ears, hats, and other playful accessories. Sylus picks up a pair of silly glasses, and you burst into laughter.

He crosses his arms, waiting for you to calm down.

“Do I look like a clown to you?” he asks, his tone amused but slightly smug.

“No, no, no, take those off!” you laugh harder, wiping a tear away. “We’re not doing this. Let’s just take normal pictures.”

You set the timer for the four pictures, and you both start posing. Sticking out your tongue, flashing peace signs, and goofing off. By the time the last picture comes, the countdown begins again.

3...

A strange feeling twists in your stomach. You can’t bring yourself to look at him.

2...

Your thoughts flicker back to the boxing match. You keep your eyes fixed on the screen, trying to steady yourself.

1...

And just as the camera flashes, Sylus grabs your chin and pulls you in for a quick, possessive kiss, capturing the moment with the photo.

The photo ejects from the machine, and Sylus grabs it, his smirk widening as he looks down at the printed image. “Perfect,” he says, holding it up for a brief moment before slipping it into his pocket.

“That’s another one for the collection,” he adds, his voice laced with lingering desire as he gazes down at you. “And I’m sure we’ll be making plenty more memories together, sweetheart.”

You lie alone in your bed, still tangled in the mixed-up memories of that moment with Sylus in the photo booth. You can still feel the heat of his body, the touch of his lips, the warmth of his fingers as they brushed against your skin.

As you replay the dream over and over, a sharp pang of pain strikes your chest, the weight of realization hitting you like a wave. Before you can fully process it, your phone lights up.

“Do you want to go to the arcade tomorrow?”

[zettaireido-emotion]

Camus character analysis: games VS anime

If you finished the Uta no Prince-sama anime and your opinion of this man is "wow, he's kinda terrible," I don't blame you. in fact I've seen a lot of people say this

In this post, I want to talk about his characterization in the games and give my two cents on what the anime was trying to do with him, especially in his single focus episode Saintly Territory (S3E6).

Disclaimer: I wrote this on a whim because I'm sick and stuck at home so if anyone reads this, sorry I might go all over the place

Spoilers for all of the games!

The "be my slave" thing

Starting with Anime Camus's most egregious crime: treating Haruka like a servant/slave (however you want to translate it)

Basically in his focus episode, Haruka is tasked with writing a song for Camus. She wants to learn more about him in order to write it, but Camus will only let her follow him if she acts as his servant. She accepts without complaining, Cecil is rightfully angry, Haruka continues anyway and the song gets completed.

Now, am I about to say that Game Camus would never do this? No because he literally does lmao.

The anime doesn't pull this "servant" plotline out of nowhere, here's the context in his route:

Haruka accidentally overhears Camus talking about a plot to assassinate Saotome on the phone. When he notices that she heard everything, he basically tells her that he has to kill her now. But if she served him, he'd be able to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't leak anything, so she could escape death.

Okay uh "work under me or DIE" isn't exactly better, nor is it a good start to a love story, but I'm not finished!!

(A side note: I have to add that the anime made him look like an even bigger asshole and borderline dumb when it came to the things he made her do. Like he expected her to know that snapping your fingers means you want coffee without prior explanation. bro

^This might have been for comedic effect but I promise he can be actually funny and endearing.)

What the anime couldn't cover

The Camus episode wraps up with Haruka pulling through and writing a song that makes Camus "sincere," he says it's cool at the very end and that's the episode. I think the problem is that we technically didn't see him being sincere or what that even means to him, besides when he was singing (banger song btw)

It's a shame because in a 20-minute episode you really can't show the game experience of slowly piecing together what this man's problem is.

First of all, in Debut and AS you'll be quick to notice that he always has homeland and duty on the mind, constantly reminding himself that he's in Shining Agency/Japan for a reason, and it's NOT to have fun or make friends

The truth is, he slowly starts to appreciate the banter with his colleagues, music, and working there in general.

But because of his initial mindset, he has to rationalize & justify every connection he forms, like "it's just for work" or worse: "actually it was ALL A LIE and I NEVER ENJOYED A SECOND OF THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER, I'm such a great actor haha"

He uses that to fool himself and to push the other person away so it doesn't happen again. This scene is probably the best example:

(I'll be using google lens because it's faster but I checked that the tls were okay)

He also does this in the Non-Fiction drama, which may or may not have actually happened, but I think it's still a pretty good reflection of what could happen in reality because he tells Ranmaru their bond was a lie, then mopes around in his guilt thinking about the good times and wondering why he's sad, and THEN later doubles down on the "it was a lie, I don't care about you" because he just can't let himself get attached to anything.

Basically, he's terrified at the thought of forming actual bonds because he genuinely thinks he's nothing if he stops being a cold weapon:

At one point he does admit he sucks (as a love interest)-

-which is pretty huge by utapri standards. I love these games, but the amount of times where a male lead does something icky, and everyone, including Haruka, acts like it's normal or like it's Haruka's fault is ehhh but I digress

Upbringing

Of course he's very proud of his homeland and status, but sometimes it's to the point of thinking he can't be anything other than his title. So why is he like this?

We got to hear about his childhood from Camus himself a few times, and it often ended with Haruka thinking "wait? that's kinda messed up?" and Camus insisting it's nothing/it's normal so yeah that's something...

His parents were in an unhappy arranged marriage, and his mother was forced to birth an heir which traumatized her so much that she can't see Camus without falling ill. Overall it's a pretty tragic situation since what happened to her was horrible, though not Camus's fault either. Even now she refuses to see him, and I wouldn't say that makes him sad because he never really met her, but simply knowing of her sacrifice probably adds a lot of pressure. As in, he only exists for this one purpose (inheriting his father's title and serving the country), so if he doesn't play his part correctly, it would have all been for nothing.

He was raised by his father not as a child or son but as the heir, always treated and judged as an adult (even during physical training apparently, make of that what you will)

When Haruka asks about childhood memories he has a very hard time finding something that doesn't have to do with his duties or the nation. And then admits he didn't truly have a "childhood" since he was never treated like a child

As for the queen, I think his love for her is sincere: she taught him a lot of things growing up, and according to him, she's also a victim trapped by her duties so he wants to ease the burden.

So hypothetically, if he found things or people that made him happy in Japan, he would feel obligated to lock them away because that happiness is incompatible with his life: he'll have to leave when his mission ends, he shouldn't be spending time on things that aren't "useful" as he doesn't have the free will to pursue them

In his mind he's completely tied down by the fact that he was born and raised for a single reason, and the fact that he does want to serve the queen.

(This is Saotome describing him btw)

Also it might sound ridiculous to bring his self-worth into question because of how pretentious he is, but I've counted a few situations where he seemed to have complete disregard for his own life, only worrying about Haruka and Cecil's safety in scenes when they were present. And he thinks wanting to be loved unconditionally is a childish thought he shouldn't have.

"Double Face" was a lie. There's like at least 10 layers

On the surface he does have two personas, his perfect polite butler act for the media, and his cold bitchy attitude off camera. But honestly, even when he's not acting as a butler, he's often putting up a front to hide any form of vulnerability (from himself as well)

His main struggle is finding who he is outside of what he's being told to do. Before, he never actually stopped to think about what he WANTS because it just never occurs to him, or if it does he ignores it.

That's why realizing that he has his own desires is essential to his character development, and him staying with Quartet Night (and Haruka in his routes) is so important. It's why Reiji feels the need to reach out and when he does, Camus either freezes up or tears up;

This all makes him the opposite of Ranmaru (being true to yourself and sincere), and similar to Ai (gradually learning to view the world in a less cold and logical way), but I kind of want to save that for another post lmao

He is especially hard on Cecil because Cecil says & does whatever he wants, and everything still works out for him, which is a way of life that Camus can't imagine for himself at all (despite maybe wanting it?)

That he can realize this and eventually admit out loud, despite all his pride, is also one of my favorite things about him

Season 2 does hint at something, so that's pretty cool!

Side note, I really love that his theme in the new Oracle series is "Change," the melting of ice.

So what was the anime supposed to do??

Of course there's no way to show all this in a single episode or even during the runtime of the anime, and I never expected them to because the story is very surface-level (that goes for all characters).

It's just unfortunate since the anime is the most accessible and well-known utapri media in the western fandom, and the character's main episode is bound to leave the biggest impression.

I understand the choice of being laser-focused on the servant plotline, it's supposed to be funny (?) and waters him down to a trope that's easy to understand at first glance (the step-on-me guy I guess)

Still, I can't help but compare it to Ranmaru's episode, who was also hard to work with in the games but was chill in S3E7 and got to pet cats. Anime onlys will never know how much Camus loves to dote on his dog smh.....

[jabbage]

A fun fact about Kickstarter is that if you go four weeks without posting an update, people can press a button to tell Kickstarter a creator isn't updating enough and they get a scary red email. I have done five personal kickstarter campaigns and been involved in a handful more, and I don't believe anyone has ever pressed that button on me because I keep people informed. Even if I go over a month without updating, I try to be really clear about timescales and what I'm working on.

For Beekeeper's Picnic, there's someone who presses that button every single time I let things go more than four weeks. Even if I've specified the date the next update will be, even if I've explained not to expect updates for a certain period of time, even if I'm visibly posting bits and bobs on social media.

There was even one time I'd just posted an update and had to get it taken down by Kickstarter due to an actor leaving the project, which made the KS system think I hadn't updated in five weeks. They even pressed it then. Even though they must have just had an email from me.

At this point, it feels like they don't even read the updates?

The first time it happened I was really upset and worried about it, like I genuinely lost sleep over it and had to take time out of making the game to rush through an update. At this point I've realised it doesn't make the Kickstarter Police come and kick your door in, and I don't want to reinforce the behaviour that reporting me to KS makes me suddenly abandon my planned timescales, so I'm trying to be chill about it.

I know as well as anyone who has contributed to a crowdfunding campaign that it's worrying when they go quiet, but I wish this person would cut me a little slack. I think it's so obvious that I'm putting a lot of energy into keeping people informed.

[nickeverdeen]

Hiii, I have a request for Caitlyn from Arcane x fem!reader whose struggling a lot socially headcannon / imagine (I still don't really understand the difference so feel free to decide).

Also since this isn't the first request I'm making, (I was the third Caitlyn matchup you did if I'm not wrong) do you take emoji anons? If so can I be 💐 anon?

Anyways enjoy your break

Hi, cariño! So basically imagine is something like a story and headcannon are points. For example I chose headcannons for this. And you can totally be my 💐 anon!

——————————

Caitlyn x socially struggling fem!reader hcs

Caitlyn is a wonderful listener, letting you express your social anxieties without ever judging or interrupting

Whenever she senses you’re nervous in public, she’ll give your hand a gentle squeeze, grounding you instantly

Caitlyn never pushes you into situations you’re uncomfortable with, always letting you take things at your own speed

She’s very intuitive, and if anyone makes you uncomfortable, she’ll politely steer the conversation or whisk you away so she can deal with them

Caitlyn’s perceptive and realizes that social settings can be overwhelming, so she never expects you to be someone you’re not

At gatherings, she’ll find quieter spots with you so you both can enjoy the evening without the crowd

If you’re unsure about social cues, she’ll gently guide you, helping you understand people’s reactions without making you feel self-conscious

When you’re together, she has a way of making you feel like it’s just the two of you, no matter where you are

She understands that social anxiety takes time to overcome and will never rush you or make you feel like a burden

A hand on your back, an arm around your shoulder—she’ll always be there with these small touches to keep you at ease

Every step you take socially, no matter how small, is a reason for her to celebrate and show how proud she is of you

Caitlyn will introduce you to new experiences but always checks if you’re comfortable first

She’s perceptive enough to know when you’re struggling and will step in to gracefully steer conversations or provide an easy exit

She’s always checking in with you, making sure you feel safe and respected, especially in social settings

If the environment becomes too much, she’ll find a way to bring you somewhere quiet, no questions asked

Caitlyn is quick to shut down any hurtful comments or disrespectful behavior toward you

In private, she’ll gently ask about your thoughts and opinions, helping you build confidence in expressing yourself

Caitlyn will subtly offer tips on social situations, knowing you might need guidance without making it obvious

She’s tactful about keeping you involved in conversation without putting the spotlight on you

Caitlyn genuinely admires your resilience and bravery, even if it’s just showing up to a social event

She lets you navigate social situations on your own but is close by if you need her

Caitlyn is perceptive and respects your social boundaries, helping you balance being present with avoiding overwhelm

In public, she’ll be discreet yet affectionate, making you feel loved without drawing attention

She’ll suggest quieter dates, like walks in the park or reading in a cozy café, where you can enjoy time together without social pressure

After you successfully handle a social event, she’s the first to congratulate you, making you feel seen and accomplished

She knows when you’re feeling drained and will offer to wrap things up early without you having to say a word

When making plans, Caitlyn always considers what will be most comfortable and enjoyable for you

Caitlyn’s affectionate but knows you feel most comfortable with private, intimate moments rather than public displays

After socializing, she’s there to talk it out, reassure you, and help you unwind from any lingering stress

Caitlyn helps you see the strengths in being a quiet, observant person, building your confidence in who you are

If others ever misinterpret your shyness as aloofness, she’ll step in to set the record straight

Caitlyn can sense when you’re on edge and will find a way to help you relax without drawing attention

She’s steadfast in her support, reminding you that you don’t need to change to be loved and appreciated

She’s always putting your comfort first, from choosing seating arrangements to suggesting quieter venues

Caitlyn encourages you to be proud of who you are, reminding you that your uniqueness is what makes you special in her eyes

[nocityfolk]

IT'S JESSE COLT ! | VERSES 001 - 007.

𓄀 VARIOUS VERSES, SUBJECT TO CHANGE: main (i), main (ii), horror/slasher (iii), teenage dirtbag (v), 50s (vi), 70s & 80s/stranger things (vii), western/outlaw/rdr2 (viii).

main (i) | country musician, new york, 26. [ trigger warnings: abuse, infidelity, alcoholism, suicide, loss of a sibling, loss of a parent ]

╰─▸ i. born jensen miller, jesse was raised in a small town in wyoming, and grew up on his family's ranch with his parents, little brother, and two younger sisters. at eight years old after the sudden death of his little brother, romy, the miller family dynamic changed. growing up in a typically distant and dysfunctional family under the rule of his father, jesse became the protector of his sister's and mother, and held a lot of responsibility on his young shoulders. his only solace was music, a passion his father often berated, though it was knox's old guitar jesse learnt to play on, and knox's old guitar that got jesse his first gig. a smart but challenged child, jesse's sole offer for his future was staying with his family in wyoming and working his hands to the bone for a father whose love he could never earn. lucky enough to be noticed at age nineteen and offered a record deal, jesse took it and never look back. jesse dated model gabrielle landry from 2020 to mid-2024, when the relationship came to a sudden head over the realisation that gabrielle and malcolm, jesse's childhood best friend, were together. struggling to cope with the sudden onslaught of popularity he received after the rather public split with his longterm girlfriend, jesse threw himself into his songwriting. his previous upcoming album was entirely rewritten, and jesse decided to visit his hometown for the first time in four years to visit his family, and became the sole witness to his father's suicide. in the wake of the collapse of his romantic relationship and the sudden loss of his father, jesse releases DOGGONE, his third album, as a homage to a past love, and to the complicated memory of his father.

main (ii) | farmhand/aspiring musician, wyoming, 26. [ trigger warnings: parental abuse ]

╰─▸ i. having never gotten discovered, jesse lives in wyoming with his childhood best friend, malcolm. having no options, he throws himself into helping his father around their family ranch, and repairing a relationship that will never truly be fixed. he still does music and sings in local areas, but isn't acquiring any considerable level of fame. with little choice, he moves back into his childhood home and falls back into old habits with his father. desperate to get out and never return, he does odd jobs for money, and works furiously on his music in his spare time.

horror/slasher/dbd (iii) | musician/ghostwriter, traveller, 21-26. [ trigger warnings: none ]

╰─▸ i. young and foolish, jensen travels with a suitcase and his guitar, staying temporarily in town after town. ╰─▸ ii. a ghostwriter for popular musicians, jensen enjoys the freedom he gets to have. he's never in one place for too long, but always seems to be in the wrong one.

teenage dirtbag (v) | rock musician, los angeles, 21-26. [ trigger warnings: infidelity, alcoholism ]

╰─▸ i. having chosen to go into rock music, following in the footsteps of his heroes tina turner, metallica, and pink floyd, rather than his childhood favourites dolly parton, elton john, and tracy chapman, jesse lives in los angeles. corrupted by alcohol and fame at a young age, having cut off his family, he's more equipped to dealing with others and has shed his wyoming skin. following a public split with model girlfriend gabrielle landry after her affair become public, jesse is hard to pin down, and much more open about his sexuality.

50s (vi) | music professor/writer, new york, 26. [ trigger warnings: none ]

╰─▸ i. having grown up with his mother's sister in new york, jensen miller is a relatively accomplished writer. a paragon in his line of work, he applies himself with haste and has enjoyed a career that has brought him acclaim.

70s & 80s/stranger things (vii) | record store owner, somewhere, 26. [ trigger warnings: parental death ]

╰─▸ i. following the death of his parents at a very young age, and a single child, jensen has fended for himself much of his life. cared for by his grandparents who have now passed, he is passionate about music and owns a record store, whilst pursing his main hobby of singing/songwriting in his own personal time.

western/outlaw/rdr2 (viii) | outlaw, nowhere, 26. [ trigger warnings: debauchery, thievery, gambling ]

╰─▸ i. chased out of wyoming by his father's debt collectors, jensen partakes in a quiet life of debauchery. he's grown a thick skin to survive and hidden much of his real personality in offence, becoming adept at thieving and robbing. a natural hand at poker, he spends much of his time gambling, and his spare time stealing out of motels.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

besties just out of curiosity, what's like... your favorite fic you've ever written? or favorite art you've ever created?

[izzy-b-hands]

Didn't think the 1989 version of The Woman In Black would be scarier than the one with Dan Radcliffe in it

I was Wrong flkjdsafkldsja, but I'm delighted to have been wrong. I had missed getting scared with more practical effects/careful timing of things in the background of shots appearing and disappearing, and this one scratches that itch well.

[tarkenee]

ive been vague and i'll still try to be bc i don't wanna gossip abt my friend but like ive reached my limit idk what to do w this ive been trying to support my friend but FUCK

my friend recently left a long term relationship that was like very committed & serious to them like they already owned pets together n were talking abt starting an adoption process in the next few years etc after the break up we also learned a lot abt the relationship my friend hadn't told the rest of us before n it has been extremely toxic n bordeline abusive so my friend has obviously been going through a lot w different emotions of relief and grief n the aftermath has like actively been traumatizing her so i'm thankful she ended it ofc but. like a day after she broke up w her partner she started going to bars every night n hooked up w this guy she used to know in middle school bc 1 she's coping but 2 at this point she was practically homeless bc she did not feel safe staying at the apartment w her ex n her family was disapproving of the breakup n she was carrying a lot of shame abt it so she took the first semi familiar person n has been staying at his place ever since bc again. she doesn't have a roof above her head otherwise. so she's in this extremely vulnerable state being houseless having just ended a relationship she's had since she was a teen she has literally never been single in her adult life and like i said this break up was traumatic. she needed to have 1 single person to support her both emotionally n physically like this all affected her physical health as well she was Not okay. so like i genuinely belive this guy is the reason she's surviving this. and let it be fucking known that i do not give a fuck that she's immediately hooking up w someone else like for all i care she could've eloped w someone the same day she broke up w her ex n i would not find anything morally wrong w that lol the problem is that this particular guy is absolutely horrid. like not to her he's been taking care of her n been treating her well but he supports this right wing party w alt right members n he himself throws around slurs n shit. so like. at first this ofc made me extremely uncomfortable n i even got scared for her like she's literally living w this dude who she's known only for weeks n she finds out this stuff abt him. regardless she continued staying w him and while that made me uneasy i just don't know what i could've done or what she could've done instead like she was literally homeless, her ex was sending her hundreds of text per day all of which were verbally abusive biphobic degrading things her family wasn't currently on good terms w her she was literally physically too weak to walk bc of how this was affecting her so like i can see how she'd latch on to the first person who shows her decency and who offers her tangible help & a place to stay. ive just been in this uncomfortable head space trying to provide support for her but also just feeling so appalled that she's w this dude. last week she finally got an apartment n can move in it so i was like okay great it's over she's leaving the guy's place finally. come to know that he's fucking moving in w her. AGain i don't caaareeee that they've only known each other for a month if someone wants to move in together at that point i don't care idcidc but i am not okay w it being a person like that n i will never want to associate him n in normal circumstances i also would have already stopped associating w a person who spends time w someone like that. now i'm just so fucking lost n feel also rly betrayed by my best fucking friend bc she's someone ive always trusted n now fucking what. n this is where i just don't know what to do.

like we've been friends for like 14 years so just. dropping her would hurt so much but if she's okay w living w this guy i just cannot be around her like it makes me actually sick to my stomach. i don't want her in my life if she's like genuinely okay w this. but like is that selfish am i wrong to leave her like that considering everything she's going through. like it's about to be a whole month since the break up n she's spend one 1 single day alone in all that time. again i'm not the fucking relationship police i don't care that she's "jumped right into another relationship" i don't CARE but i just cannot imagine that she has in anyway processed & recovered from the trauma the breakup (& the previous relationship caused her) so if she's like. just escaping a codependent toxic relationship n getting trapped in a new one w an awful guy who she literally depended on for food and shelter. shouldn't it be my responsibility as her friend to like confront her n ask her if she understands the type of person he is and if she's really okay w that like what the fuck is her thought process here. but i feel in no way equipped to do that like what would i even say.

also like genuinely not trying to sound self conceited when i say this but she has literally lost everything her relationship her apartment her dog some friends who sided w her ex n even momentarily her family until they came around n she's repeatedly emphasized how grateful she is for our (me n the rest of the friend group) help and support n how we're the only stable thing in her life rn so i'm like sincerely concerned that she'd do smth to herself if i just walked out of her life. like i feel like in the grand scheme of things my reasoning to drop her feels so meaningless n selfish like i'm just choosing some silly values over a friend who's materially suffering rn but that's not true right. like it's not just abt principles right? do i sound superficial for this... i just do not want to associate w some right wing cunts NOR w ppl who choose to live w them.

[hypnowave]

making proportional, neatly lined, colored and shaded art pieces of my original characters is not enough i need to vomit brightly colored paint all over cheap art store canvasses & make 7 billion wonky clay pots that will explode in the kiln & weave ropes into intricate macrame textiles just to set them on fire & sew together unsightly clothing articles of clashing patterns and textures & make handmade recycled paper & build wooden plane miniatures while trying not to choke on wood chips

[anakinh]

random tlovm thoughts

my most controversial critical role opinion is that my least favourite members of vox machina are, at different points, vax and scanlan.

Well, I’m assuming that not all of it is the most controversial. Scanlan was a main reason why I couldn’t get into CR1 at first (there’s the reason why I started with 2 and it’s because the first thing you see in CR1 is Scanlan and Grog shouting about brothels and whores.) But Scanlan was supposed to be Like That(TM) and his character arc made him so tolerable that he became one of my favourites. TLOVM is currently doing a great job adapting said character arc and they managed to make him still gross and far too horny without all the other disgusting content, so A+. He was still my least favourite in S1 of TLOVM but that’s what I expected, and he moved up the ranks in S2 as his character arc boots up, which is also what I expected (the Kaylie scene was great). I personally thought that making him get the final blow on Umbrasyl a bit much - being a bard I thought he would, like, rally the troops or do a big heal or something, but I guess it’s understandable as they had to make him use Mythcarver (poor Scanlan, that sword hardly fits him.)

Vax was the other way around - as I grew to like Scanlan more, I grew to like him less. It’s not very personal, it’s just this man’s level of angst and melodrama grew beyond what I enjoyed. Same in TLOVM - he was great in S1, started getting more eye rolls in S2. Still much more tolerable than in the stream, mostly because I didn’t have to listen to his 20 minute monologues on how sad he is and his reckless charging off became more like encouraging speeches now that he’s born again??? That wasn’t in the stream, idk how I feel about that. It was in the last episode. I can’t really comment. Also he’s prettier which makes it easier for me to enjoy the dramatic wing scenes, making the eyerolls much more affectionate (although ofc in the stream said scenes were also less dramatic so they’re actually about even?).

Interestingly enough, my favourite VM member in stream was always Vex but in TLOVM S1 it was Keyleth. In S2 it went back to Vex, which I guess makes sense as she got a lot more screentime in 2.

[thedissociatives]

realised over the past few days that apparently it's not normal to give as little amount of fucks as i do

[neverendingford]

.

[lenteur]

random thoughts about castaway diva, episode two

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

i'm going to preface this by saying i'm contradicting myself a lot in what you're going to read next but that's because i'm writing my comments as i watch the episode. so, when the show explains something that seems nonsensical at first, i'm going back on my words ^^'

the title of this episode (coincidence v fate) is intriguing. I think ki ho is one of the two brothers. I don't know which one yet but I really hope it's not woo-hak because his actions are in contradiction to what he's done when a teenager.

He wants to be a reporter but he chooses to publish mok ha's story when his brother, bo geol, rightfully told him not to do so because it'll attract public attention and mok ha is trying to adjust to the world after being alone for 15 YEARS.

From what i've seen, bo geol is more probably ki ho because he's more considerate towards her and seems to respect boundaries. He's also more polite and kind.

I'm sorry but kang woo hak can not be ki ho. I don't think he'd have changed that much in 15 years. I think that, even though ki ho changed his identity and pretended to be someone else, he'd still have that gentleness and compassion in himself. Which is why i'm leaning more towards be geol being ki ho. It makes more sense to me.

Or maybe ki ho will appear further down the line? I don't know.

Yeah i'm sure ki ho is not woo hak. There can't be any explanation that would change my mind. If he does end up being ki ho, I will riot! That's for sure.

They're planting the seed that woo hak is ki ho by the recurring "and then?". It's a nice detail, but i'm still iffy about him being ki ho.

This episode has left me confused more than anything.

I hope we'll see more mok ha & bo geol interactions so there is more suspense.

Just thought about it but woo hak being very close with his father could be another indicator that he's ki ho. He's never had a bond with his biological father so he wants to do that with his "new father".

On the flip side, if bo geol is ki ho, it's understandable that he seems more distant with his father. He's never had a good relationship with his dad so he has a harder time sharing an emotional connection with him. Hence why he's on his mom's side a lot of the time.

But also, woo hak is someone who pinpoints the importance of planning ahead for the future, something teenage ki ho has done by saving money to escape from his father.

I don't like this show because I sense a headache coming...

"If you keep worrying, you'll just end up with as many regrets down the road" Mok ha is regretting she didn't agree to go meet ran joo in seoul sooner. If she had done so, she might not have ended up on that island. The dilemma was difficult though because her father's presence was a heavy burden on her shoulders. Just like i said in my post for episode one, he destroyed her life and dreams so it's understandable she refused to go to seoul. She was scared and thought that maybe if she stopped wanting to be a singer, her father would calm down. Unfortunately, alcoh*lism is something that has an impact on the person that drinks and the people around them.

Throughout this episode, it was easy to notice how mok ha's personality and mindset hasn't changed at all. I mean, she spent fifteen years alone on a deserted island with no one to talk to. She kept herself company and seeing as she hasn't been influenced by what happened in the world, it's natural for her to be the same as she was when she arrived on that island more than a decade ago.

On that note, I'd like to say park eun bin is doing a wonderful job at being out of place/a foreigner to the world around her.

I'm just happy that mok ha learned from her past mistakes and will do whatever she wants to do. She's growing in front of our eyes.

The whole dodeok performance moment gave me so many feelings. Seeing yoon ran joo fall in disgrace from the public eye, resulting in her drowning her sorrow in cig*r*ttes and alc*h*l. But, even then, there's still someone by her side: seo mok ha. She kept her enthusiasm. She's a yoon ran joo fangirl. She proved it by giving balloons to everyone and asking them to cheer the singer on. She's a devoted fan and she made the impossible possible: impressing everyone with her singing skills and making her favorite singer shine.

I sense a strong bond forming in the future between the two women. I see them helping each other in many ways. I just can't wait to see more of ran joo and mok ha together.

I don't know if this is park eun bin singing but wow she sure does have an amazing voice 😍 edit: i checked and it is her singing voice. What a nice surprise!

before i end up this post, i'd like to apologize because i've been going back and forth in the comments i made on who might be ki ho. It's just that woo hak being ki ho makes sense but at the same time it doesn't. I'm waiting for the next episodes to see what happens.

Once again a great episode, so i'll give it a 9.5/10

[gen-is-gone]

Idioteque is crawling up out of the floorboards at this point lol