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ohmykiyo · 1 year ago

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🪦 title ; when they ask for a kiss genre ; fluff & romance warnings ; cute bf alert, lowercase intended characters ; sakusa, suna, atsumu, bokuto, oikawa, semi, ushijima 🗝️ jeilly's notes ; idk tbh thinking about sakusa being clingy makes me blush fr and i'm so proud, i finished this in 2 hours LOL, reqs r open!

SAKUSA shifts around uncomfortably as you keep your nose stuck in a book. you flip one page after another and he continues to watch you intently. he frowns and pouts but you don't notice.

"baby can you look at me?" he pouts. you turn to him, finally acknowleding him.

"what is it, love?" you sigh, flipping another page. he frowns at your clear dismissal.

"could you- i mean uhm- can i-" he stumbles over his words, frustration taking over. he's never been one to ask for things, but he can't help it when it's you.

you place your book down, not before bookmarking where you left off. you shift your body to face him completely, and he seems to stutter even more.

you smile, "what is it, baby?"

he doesn't know how to ask, he panics internally before fiddling with his hands. you sense his shyness, and put your hand over his to calm him down.

as if he's under some spell, he calms down almost instantly.

finding some bit of courage in your touch, he lifts his index finger and points at his lips.

you stare for a moment.

then you burst into uncontrollable giggles.

sakusa only watches as he deflates, turning away from you in a fit of irritation. "okay, be like that then, i don't care." he huffs.

you place your hands over his face, forcing him to face you.

you flash him the smile he adores so much, before giving him a kiss.

it was light. feathery, even. and it left sakusa craving for more.

he huffs before a shade of red tinted his ears, then he pulls you in for a few more.

SUNA sits beside you as you study in the school library for an important test coming up. he lays with his head down, facing you, eye boring into the side of your face.

you roll your eyes, "rin, stop staring, i can't focus."

he snickers before pulling out his hand to catch yours. "you're so pretty, how can i not?"

you cheeks flush with red as he finishes his sentence. you snatch your hand away to cover your face in embarrassment.

"you piss me off, hope you know that." you groan. he only chuckles at your remark, returning to his old position.

you then go back to studying. scribbling notes in your neat handwriting every few minutes.

you don't realize it, but your lips jut out in a small, unnoticeable pout.

it sends suna off the edge, wanting to lay his lips on yours.

he watches and watches, but you don't notice the stare he's giving you.

he grows impatient. the fact you clearly don't seem to glance at him makes him rolls his eyes and huff. you hear the little grunts of irritation and turn to face him.

"i can feel your bad energy radiating right now," you deadpan, "what's up your ass now?"

suna shoots you a glare, side-eyeing you in the process.

"what's up my ass is the fact you keep pouting your lips," you look at him in confusion, "you're practically begging for a kiss so c'mere."

you dodge his lips, and he sits there dumbfounded. you break into a series of giggles as he pouts and mutters a little "damn brat" under his breath.

"fine, come here baby." you say, before tugging him lightly. his lips landing right on yours.

he savors the taste of your lips, keeping you there a lot longer than intended.

once you pull away, you're out of breath, and suna's only smirking at your appearance.

you turn away with all shades of pink tinting your cheeks.

and suna knows he'll have your lips on his once again.

ATSUMU whines every five god damn minutes, hoping that it'll catch your attention. the attention which is on your phone, and you're scrolling carelessly on tiktok.

atsumu grunts once again before speaking, "can ya give me like two minutes of your attention, am dyin' over here and ya don' giva shit!"

you roll your eyes playfully, finally turning to your man-baby of a boyfriend. "okay 'tsum, you got two minutes."

"babe!" he yelps, basically sobbing dramatically at this point.

"what?" you say defensively, with a smirk plastered across your face. "you said two minutes, so i'm givin' you two minutes."

he frowns, showing you his infamous puppy eyes. you stare.. and stare.

but you don't budge at all.

"babe, am beggin' ya." he huffs, arms crossing defensively over his chest.

you couldn't believe that this six-foot blonde was pouting like an absolute child.

"fine, what is it, you big baby." you say, placing your hand on his thigh.

this only fires him up even more, craving the touch he hasn't received.

"kiss?" he pleads.

you decide to tease him a little. just a little.

"hmm? sorry, i didn't hear a please." he gets even more impatient as you test him further.

"please, ma angel, i wanna kiss ya." he frowns again, but you finally decide you comply with his wishes.

pushing his hair back and caressing his face, you pull him in for a kiss. it's a little peck, but he only wants more.

so..

he does.

pushing your head down lightly, but just enough to deepen the kiss further.

you push him away lightly.

"there, you got your kiss baby." you giggle.

he craves more, but chooses to wait a bit. leaving his hand on your plush thigh, he stares at you lovingly.

BOKUTO deflates as he witnesses you being quite busy chatting up your best friend.

he was hoping that you'd spend the dinner with him.

he knows it was a team dinner, but he didn't expect your best friend to be at the same restaurant.

he felt ignored, and a little neglected. but, he genuinely wanted to be with you at that moment.

it took a bit, but you finally slide into the booth your boyfriend was in. it didn't take long for you to notice the gloomy mood bokuto was in.

"somethin' wrong, honey?" you coo. bokuto swears he melted at the sound of your voice.

he scoots closer to you, nudging his head into the crook of your neck.

you allow him to, your hand moving up to play with the soft locks on his head.

"missed you." he whispered, scattering light kisses around your collarbone.

you smile, looking down at his cute face.

knowing him all too well, you whisper, "you craving something from me, baby?"

he sits up instantly, staring at you with neediness.

"mhm!" he perks. he waits patiently.

"tell me what you want, honey, i'm listening"

he takes your hand and allows your finger to brush lightly over his pretty lips.

"want a kiss," he says, "please."

you hum in satisfaction, guiding his face unto yours where his lips find yours.

his mouth molds against yours, almost as if he was entirely made for your existence.

he craves you more and more, hands sliding up and down your waist.

you pull away, pecking his forehead after.

bokuto sighs with content as he cuddles up impossibly closer to you.

OIKAWA lingers around in your bedroom, waiting for you to acknowledge his presence.

you're too busy scribbling things he doesn't bother to care about in your notebook.

he waits..

and waits.

and waits...

but doesn't get a hint of your attention.

he was growing agitated at the lack of attention. he could even go as far as saying that you were neglecting him.

he finally gives in, choosing to tap you lightly on the shoulder.

it was only then when you realized he was home.

"oh! tooru, hi babe!" you chirp. you don't even seem to notice the slight furrow of his eyebrows and the pout on his lips.

"i've been here for an hour, y/n." he states. your face contorts into disbelief.

exhaling, you spoke, "i didn't realize.. did you need something?"

yes, he needed something.

he wouldn't say it though. opting to wait until you're needy for him.

he's greeted with disappointment when you don't give him what he wants, turning away from him.

"okay cutie, i'm quite literally going to die here." he exclaims.

you turn to face the little drama queen behind you.

groaning playfully, you ask him, "okay, what is it my love."

"kiss me," he demands, "i haven't received a single one since my arrival."

you roll your eyes, standing up and dragging your feet towards his tall figure.

tip-toeing to reach his lips, you tug his shirt to pull him down.

finally, your lips rests on his, giving his the satisfaction he craved.

SEMI strums his guitar again and again, hoping it would catch your attention.

you don't look at him, because youre busy playing with the cute puppy named bear on his bed.

you baby-talk the sweet creature, scratching behind its ears.

"y/n can you put bear down, i'm literally right here." eita sighs.

you giggle at his remark, looking back at him for a split moment.

"i know, honey, but a few minutes without my attention shouldn't kill you." you deadpan.

he only shoots you a disappointed look that you obviously didn't see.

after a few minutes, you finally get up and sit beside your grumpy boyfriend.

your entire body faces him, "babe, i want a kiss."

he side-eyes you, "okay, go kiss bear then."

furrowing your eyebrows, you just shrug before getting up once again.

you're immediately stopped by semi grabbing your wrists lightly.

"jesus woman, you were supposed to stay here and beg." he rolls his eyes.

"too bad, bear likes me more than you since you didn't wanna give me a kiss."

he blinks, clearly dumbfounded. "i've been sitting here for 30 minutes waiting for a kiss myself."

you shrug again, trying to release yourself from his hold.

"whatever, eita." you pout.

he only tugs your arm gently before you're landing flat on his chest.

he lets out a hearty laugh before lifting your chin up with his thumb and index finger.

staring into each others eyes for a few moments, he finally places his lips on yours.

you deepen the kiss, hands moving up to caress the nape of his neck.

then you push him away.

with a pout, he stares at you. "not in front of bear, honey."

you snicker as he only huffs and looks away. his hand unconsciously coming up to caress your thigh.

you both, in fact, still madeout in front of poor bear.

USHIJIMA wasn't one to ask you for affection.

moreover, it was definitely you who asked him.

but for some reason, the way you were busy chatting up his close friend, tendou, sent him over the edge.

he craved your touch more, and it's almost like he needs it to survive.

he comes up beside you, while you don't even notice his presence. thanks to tendou greeting him, you probably would've taken awhile to even acknowledge him at all.

"heyyy wakatoshi!" tendou exclaims.

your head snaps up at the mention of your boyfriend's name.

you smile warmly, "hi, love."

that was all you said before you become completely immersed in your conversation with tendou. tendou being equally immersed as you were.

ushijima hated to admit it, but he actually felt neglected.. maybe even ignored.

he doesn't know how to steal your attention, and seeing his best friend have what he wants makes him antsy. he feels nervous, fiddling around with the hem of his shirt.

he holds back the urge to wrap his arm around your waist, pull you closer to him, and just kiss you in front of everyone in the room.

he itches to have his lips on yours, but he just doesn't know how to ask.

he taps his fingers impatiently on his side, hoping that you'd turn to face him at some point.

yet, as if luck was on his side, tendou excused himself for a moment, leaving you entirely alone.

and boy did he take that chance.

he stood beside you, snaking his arms around your waist. you look up at him, being quite familiar with his touch, you leaned into him.

he leans down to whisper in your ear, "chatting up my best friend instead of being with me kind of stung, my love."

his deep husky voice had your legs feeling like jello. you motion for him to lean low enough for him to hear you whisper back.

"jealous, honey?" you smirk.

he clenches his jaw before he feels your soft lips kiss it.

he softens at the contact, melting from your touch.

he quickly maneuvers your chin to connect your lips with his.

god, he never knew how addicted he was to you. youre the only thing he'll never get enough of.

you pull away, leaving one last peck on his jaw before leading him back to his teammates.

safe to say ushijima will definitely start asking for more of your kisses.

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santurn · 3 months ago

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i have sore throat, I'm dyin n watchin stuff about ace attorney h e l p

darn I love apollo, smart shorty

translating inscription: "connecting to space"

so um, here's the backstory

3 days ago i showed a pic of apollo to my friendo and she said "LOL IS HE CONNECTING TO SPACE??" and this urged me to draw this shit

#phoenix wright #ace attorney #apollo justice #ace attorney art #ace attorney apollo justice #ace attorney phoenix wright

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nevernonline · 1 year ago

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✧.* svt as songs from 1989 (taylors vrs)

happy 1989 day to all my bbs celebrating!! xoxo. idk whose but one of these will prob end up being a full fic vv soon give me a suggestion lol im indecisive 🩵😌

seungcheol: i wish you would.

"2 AM, here we are see your face, hear my voice in the dark. we're a crooked love in a straight line down. makes you wanna run and hide but it made us turn right back around. i wish you would come back, wish i never hung up the phone like i did, i wish you knew that I'd never forget you as long as i live and i wish you were right here, right now, it's all good i wish you would."

jeonghan: is it over now?

"was it over when she laid down on your couch? was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse? "come here," i whispered in your ear in your dream as you passed out, baby. was it over then? and is it over now?"

joshua: new romantics.

" 'Cause baby, I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me. and every day is like a battle but every night with us is like a dream. baby, we're the new romantics, come along with me. heartbreak is the national anthem, we sing it proudly. we are too busy dancin' to get knocked off our feet. baby, we're the new romantics the best people in life are free"

junhui: wonderland.

"flashin' lights and we took a wrong turn and we fell down a rabbit hole. you held on tight to me ’cause nothing's as it seems and spinning out of control. didn't they tell us, "don’t rush into things"? didn't you flash your green eyes at me? haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? oh, didn't it all seem new and exciting? i felt your arms twisting around me, i should have slept with one eye open at night. we found wonderland, you and i got lost in it"

soonyoung: how you get the girl.

"stand there like a ghost, shakin' from the rain. she'll open up the door and say, "are you insane?"say, "it's been a long six months" and you were too afraid to tell her what you want. and that's how it works that's how you get the girl and then, you say i want you for worse or for better i would wait forever and ever. broke your heart, i'll put it back together, i would wait forever and ever and that's how it works. that's how you get the girl."

wonwoo: blank space.

"nice to meet you, where you been? i could show you incredible things. magic, madness, heaven, sin saw you there and I thought "oh, my god, look at that face. you look like my next mistake love's a game, wanna play?" new money, suit and tie i can read you like a magazine. ain't it funny? rumors fly and i know you heard about me. so, hey, let's be friends i'm dyin' to see how this one ends, grab your passport and my hand i can make the bad guys good for a weekend."

jihoon: you are in love.

"morning, his place burnt toast, sunday, you keep his shirt, he keeps his word and for once, you let go of your fears and your ghosts. one step, not much, but it said enough. you kiss on sidewalks, you fight and you talk one night, he wakes strange look on his face pauses, then says "you're my best friend" and you knew what it was, he is in love."

dokyeom: suburban legends.

"i didn't come here to make friends we were born to be suburban legends. when you hold me, it holds me together and you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever. i know that you still remember we were born to be national treasures. when you told me we'd get back together and you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever."

mingyu: wildest dreams.

"he's so tall and handsome as hell, he's so bad, but he does it so well and when we've had our very last kiss, my last request it this. say you'll remember me standin' in a nice dress starin' at the sunset, babe. red lips and rosy cheeks say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams."

minghao: i know places.

"you stand with your hand on my waistline it's a scene and we're out here in plain sight, i can hear them whisper as we pass by. it's a bad sign, bad sign. somethin' happens when everybody finds out, see the vultures circlin', dark clouds. love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out. 'cause they got the cages, they got the boxes and guns. they are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run baby, i know places we won't be found and they'll be chasing their tails tryin' to track us down. 'cause i know places we can hide"

seungkwan: sweeter than fiction.

"seen you fall, seen you crawl on your knees, seen you lost in a crowd, seen your colors fade. wish i could make it better, someday you won't remember this pain you thought would last forever and ever there you'll stand, ten feet tall i will say, "i knew it all along" your eyes are wider than distance this life is sweeter than fiction"

vernon: now that we don't talk.

"you grew your hair long you got new icons and from the outside it looks like you're tryin' lives on i miss the old ways. you didn't have to change, but i guess i don't have a say now that we don't talk. i call my mom, she said that it was for the best remind myself the morе i gave, you'd want me less i cannot bе your friend, so i pay the price of what i lost and what it cost, now that we don't talk."

chan: slut!

"send the code, he's waitin' there the sticks and stones they throw froze mid-air. everyone wants him, that was my crime, the wrong place at the right time and i break down, then he's pullin' me in. in a world of boys, he's a gentleman."

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dontforgetoctober3rd · 7 months ago

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Whats a fun personal fact about you as a Fallout fan?

Mine's that Fallout 4 came out literally a week after my grandma died so I was able to take a few days off to just play the game lol

#fallout #fallout 4 #if I'm lyin i'm dyin #personal #grandma wouldn't have given a shit lol

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washy0uaway · 1 year ago

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Kiss City Pt. 3

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!Reader Word Count: 1.6k Chapter Summary: Sweet baby fluffy Frankie watches over you as you get to know each other. Series Summary: The thing you expected least on what you swore was a day set out to be cursed by the universe, was Frankie. A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long for me to get another part up, and didn't really intend for this to be such a slow burn lol. Life has been, well.. life. Absolutely slammed at work and fighting some dumb health stuff, but I plan to carve more time out for these two more regularly. Cathartic for me tbh <3 Also a bonus that people have been enjoying this - thank you so much for sharing/liking/following! Series Masterlist | Part 2

*I'M ALSO STARTING A TAG LIST!* I haven't kept track of anyone that's already asked, but will going forward! Respond to a post or shoot me a message if you'd like to be added :) xx

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After a short walk back to Frankie's truck (where he somehow managed to hold every door open for you without dropping your hand), you've agreed on tacos for dinner. Finding yourself in his passenger seat again, you glance at the clock to notice it's not even 1pm - hours until a suitable dinner time you think to yourself.

After he closes the drivers side door and starts the truck, he once again hands you his phone for you to enter your home address this time and you're off (Fleetwood Mac now playing over the stereo).

You fall into a comfortable silence the first few minutes, and Frankie thinks he's subtle as he steals glances at you each time he looks to take a turn or check his mirror. Not subtle at all, but cute nonetheless.

"Can I ask you a question?" he finally breaks the silence first. "Of course" you offer. "How did you know I'm not a creep? Back in the lobby, I said I'm not a creep and you said, 'I know,'"

Your laugh is the hardest he's heard yet, and though he's smiling next to you, he asks again.

"I'm serious!" he half jokingly exclaims. "I'm sorry, that's just not the question I was expecting. I don't know, you..." your voice trails off as you've looked up at him and your gazes lock again, now stopped at a red light. A soft sigh escapes your lips and you offer him a sweet, slight smile.

"You just seem like a good person," you continue and he almost scoffs. "Now I'M serious!" you insist, "I have to admit I was pretty pissed before I met you earlier, but you've gone out of your way to make up for it and make sure I'm okay - you've taken care of me."

He shrugs and turns back to focus on the road as the light turns green and tries to play it off. "Can't have you dyin' on me is all, wouldn't look good on my record you know?"

"Of course," you agree. "Can't have me dyin' on you."

The remainder of the drive is pretty quiet, and when you pull into your driveway and unbuckle your seat belt, Frankie is somehow already out of the truck and rushing to open your door for you. You try to protest and insist that you're not entirely useless, and he tells you the same thing he told you as he carried you inside your office building.

"Maybe I want to."

You can't argue with that, so instead take his hand as he helps you out of the truck. You only let go to dig in your cluttered tote bag for your keys. After unlocking the door and letting him follow behind you, you drop your bag and keys to immediately take your shoes off and let out a long sigh.

"How ya doing over there, champ?" Frankie asks as he closes your front door behind him.

"Honestly, exhausted. I don't really know what the plan for the afternoon is but I could use some serious couch time. We could put on a movie?"

"That sounds great, and probably exactly what you need right now."

You point him in the direction of your living room and explain you're going to throw on some sweats and grab you both something to drink, telling him to "Make yourself comfortable."

... which he definitely hasn't done when you walk into your living room, setting two glasses of water on the coffee table. His back is to you as he studies your walls intently. Photos of you as a kid (with people he imagines would be sisters or cousins), posters from concerts, bizarre art prints, all adorn your walls. But your bookcase is what he zeroes in on, as he's completely oblivious to the fact that you're making yourself comfortable on your couch behind him.

There's a range from classics like Dracula or Pride & Prejudice, to biographies of people he's never even heard of, then histories of music genres, and more - all sorted alphabetically in an almost overflowing book shelf.

A meow breaks his focus and he turns to see you sitting cross legged on your couch in lounge shorts and a comfy crop top as your cat, Beans, hops up to join you.

"Having fun?" you ask, after introducing your pet. "Yeah, sorry, you .. you uh, can tell a lot about a person by their books, is all." "Yeah?" you prod, "what did you learn about me?"

You'd propped an elbow on your bare knee, resting your chin on your fist looking up at him, wide eyed and almost sultry. This time, its your gaze that almost melts him, and he has to force his jaw shut before continuing the conversation.

"Well, you obviously read a lot," in a few steps he's sitting down next to you, Beans on your opposite side.

"Which I like in a person," he continues. "But most of your books are about things I know nothing about. I mean, an auto biography of J.M. Barrie? Who the fuck is J.M. Barrie?"

Your laugh startles Beans, who hops off the couch and saunters off in search of his food dish. Frankie makes a mental note that he wants to do that more often - make you laugh.

"He wrote Peter Pan, Frankie! You've never heard of him?" "Okay, don't hate me, I fully would have guessed that Walt Disney wrote Peter Pan."

You tsk and playfully shake your head, "Maybe you need to borrow the book then," giving him a side eye that nearly knocks him out.

"Gladly," he agrees, and you reach for the remote to put on a movie.

"What are you in the mood for?" you ask as you mindlessly start scrolling through streaming apps.

"Whatever you want, I'm just here to keep you company. What's your go-to comfort movie?" he suggests, and a near devious grin spreads across your face.

Knowing already exactly which app to find it on, you pull up the first, original Nightmare on Elm Street.

"THIS is your comfort movie?" He shifts his legs and body toward you in disbelief, pointing at the screen.

"Yup." you smack your lips as you say it, smiling up at him with pride. "Fall asleep to it most nights."

"You fall asleep to Nightmare on Elm Street?"

"Sure do! Hey, you're the one that told me to put it on."

A chuckle escapes him as he settles into the couch, draping his arm to rest loosely on the top of the couch behind you.

"I'm not complaining, you're just full of surprises, hermosa." You blush at the term, pressing play on the movie. "I like it though," he admits, now focusing on the TV in front of him.

"Yeah, yeah, just watch the movie, Morales." You kid, as you drape the blanket that had followed you to the couch over both of your legs.

Frankie decides a few minutes in, he'd rather watch you watch the movie. You're animated, talking along with the lines as characters say them, having clearly seen it countless times.

Stealing gazes at you periodically, he brings his arm resting on the couch down into his lap. He doesn't trust himself to not fully wrap his arm around you, and though he doesn't think he's misreading you, doesn't want to make you uncomfortable.

After letting out a long yawn though, you sleepily lean over and rest your head on his shoulder, eyes heavy.

He doesn't turn his head to look down, but you feel his eyes on your sleepy face.

"Is this okay?" you ask, lazily turning your head and looking up at him from beneath your lashes.

"Of course," he promises, face now only inches from yours.

You might have been nervous if you weren't so exhausted, but you quickly drift to sleep.

If you knew he was sitting next to trying not to freak out, biting his knuckles, you definitely would have been nervous. You began leaning more of your weight onto him as you fell into a deeper sleep and before he knew it, you were curled up at his side with your head in his lap and his arm draped over your waist.

Time passed quickly and it was safe to say, Frankie was focusing on anything but the movie. The credits began to roll and he hadn't even noticed until you started to slowly blink your eyes open.

"Is it over already?" your sleep stained voice asked, shifting on the couch to look up, your head still in his lap.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Frankie reached down to brush a stray hair out of your face and the look in his eyes made your heart jump.

He'd softened quite a bit over the short time you'd known him, but this look was different. Endearing, like he was in awe of you.

You had leaned your head into his hand as he brushed the hair out of your face and made eye contact with him.

The look you shared was telling - like you had an entire conversation in a glance. Both of you had agreed with this look, "you fascinate me, I can't believe I met you today," and "there's no where else I'd rather be than on this couch with you, and it scares me shitless how attracted I am to you already." All unspoken, but mutually understood, somehow.

You laid for a moment, head in his lap, cradled by his hand, not breaking eye contact.

"You wanna watch the second one?" you ask, gaze and tone still serious.

He really laughs this time, and you're grinning when he looks back down.

"Sure I do, sweetheart." Knowing goddamn well he'll still be watching you instead, he grabs the remote.

#frankie morales #triple frontier #frankie morales x reader #pedro pascal x reader #francisco morales #frankie catfish morales #pedro pascal #fanfic #triple frontier fanfic #francisco catfish morales

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skaruresonic · 5 months ago

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Honestly, as fun as it was to go "Jesse what the fuck are you talking about" at the absurdity of fandom tourists who refused to engage with canon in good faith, it still felt like people explaining the nitty-gritty of how and why Freemance "didn't count" as pedophilia were giving the antis too much ground. Like they were implying there was a point that any given HL ship could be considered too problematic to defend.

As someone who ships Valhoun, which could arguably be considered more problematic than Freemance in this system of moral checks and balances by mere virtue of Barney actually being in his forties or so (although even that is debatable tbh), as opposed to Gordon's Schroedinger's Creepy Old Man Status, needless to say, I found the whole thing ridiculous.

To me it doesn't really matter even if Gordon was 47, because Half-Life exists in a context where real-life social mores don't apply as stringently. Humanity is on its last legs and Eli wants grandkids, yo. I have argued in the past that age gap squicks would likely lessen out of necessity following the Combine's breeding suppression. People need to procreate in order to repopulate the species, after all, and beggars can't be choosers. Kleiner said "get busy fuckin' or get busy dyin'" for a reason.

However, I'm not terribly keen on Freemance because Gordon's blank-slate status means I'd have to make up his characterization in my head, and it just doesn't seem worth the effort. I always feel like I'm shipping a dozen different versions of Gordon rather than Gordon himself. He also... just doesn't react to Alyx, making their chemistry incredibly lopsided. At least Barney goes "Eugh" when Alyx teases him about "not being an animal person"; Gordon just presumably stands there like :I when she cracks her Zombine joke.

Despite lifting somewhat in recent years, fandom has an ironclad "Barney is Alyx's uncle/big bro" fanon, which is just as annoying as "Shadria is incest" because it basically sprang out of nowhere. Canon seems to imply that Barney and Alyx are acquaintances at best, not terribly familiar with each other outside of their faintly overlapping social circles. Kleiner is honestly their only link. Barney, in fact, has less reason than most other older male characters to be considered one of Alyx's honorary uncles. At the very least Alyx suggests the possibility Gordon may have seen her once as a child; no such equivalent exists for Barney. The idea he babysat her is also hilarious considering he never even directly addresses Eli in HL2. On top of that, there's the issue of infantilizing Alyx, which I could rant about for hours. Yes, Valhoun may be just as "fanon" as Uncle Barney headcanons, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking in terms of the series' overarching context. I view Valhoun as a sort of push-pull dynamic between Barney and Alyx, duty stifling love and placed inside a pressure-cooker of sexual repression. Hot. Plus, there's that forbidden fruit aspect of rebel/Metrocop lol. And while I would in a perfect world like to see the two be together, given HL's bleak world, realistically, I don't see it working out. Not even in an "Alyx dumps his ass for Gordon" kind of way, necessarily, but in a "they break up out of fear for each other's safety but there are still lingering feelings if they gaze in the other's wake for too long" kind of way. I have also argued that all three major HL ships bear imbalances. Valhoun does not suffer the experience gap that Freemance and Freehoun would; Barney and Alyx would have shared roughly the same life experiences under Combine rule that Gordon lacks.

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