#i'm done with this argument turely

[heir-less]

"Diana was also William's—"GUNSHOTS

[intercal]

the anatomy of my TODO.md

this is for the language I've been working on and actually making progress with. right now, I've got just a small handful of tests for ints and floats and strings doing basic stuff, just like all of the operators. but really besides basic types and operators and a couple of print statements, there's not that much. (for those who are curious, here are the types: Obj, Ty, Str, Int, Float, Bool, Nil, BuiltinFunction, UserFunction, Method.) this is all in about 4500 lines of code including comments and blanks.

we have "if" statements and functions, so we are technically turing-complete, but we don't even have "while" loops. obviously some things have higher priority than others. bit twiddling operators are pretty low on the priority list, and "while" loops are pretty high up. I have four categories of "TODO" on my list:

things that need to get done ASAP to even be considered a "programming language". this includes stuff like while loops, picking a name, collections (lists, maps, tuples etc), imports, exceptions, custom types (e.g. classes), and other things. basic stuff that you hypothetically use in nearly every single program you would write.

"things that need to get done". much lower priority, and really I shouldn't be working on any of these until the previous list is completed. these include things like robust slicing (for strings, lists, etc), iterators, for loops (blocked on iterators), string interpolation, bit twiddling operators, variadic arguments, and others. other things that are fundamental to any programming language, but are either a little more complex or easier to work around not having for a while.

"wishlist". this is broken up into "near future" and "far future", but it covers stuff I haven't put a lot of thought into but have thought "this would be neat to have". they are features that are not guaranteed to make it into the language. the "near future" list is pretty short, containing just method/function decorators (like python), context management (like python's "with" statement), runtime type checking syntax, pattern matching, and a "bytes" collection type. the "far future" list is just two items: good tooling, like a formatter, static type checker, docs generator, etc; and compile-time function execution (CTFE).

"incubator". this is the longest section and each item will need a lot of thought put into them since they could fundamentally change the language, or because I don't know if they're good ideas or not. these items include object literals, atomic values (like erlang/elixir/OTP languages), a pipe operator, asyncio, and a structured macro system for the language.

okay I lied. there's a fifth section, called "standard library" for stuff that I want in the standard library. I really like python's (can you tell I'm drawing a lot of inspiration from python) philosophy of "batteries included" and want to have a big standard library. hopefully I don't come to regret that decision. for the standard library, I have these packages written down so far for what I want: json, regex, random, time, ast (abstract syntax tree bindings), "system functions" (maybe like python's os module? not sure what I meant by this), paths, file i/o, ffi?, PNG images, sockets, basic HTTP client, basic HTTP server, CLI option parsing (python's is REALLY good), logging (supposedly python's is REALLY bad)

so there you go. that's what my todo list looks like. it's kind of interesting which language features would take at least a week of iteration to get integrated how I like (like imports or custom types), versus features that I could knock out in an evening (like 'while' loops). idk, this is the furthest I've gotten with any language I've started. I'm looking forward to getting through the first two sections of my todo list, so I can stop looking at "which features NEED to be implemented" versus "which features do we WANT to implement".

[harmonicsys]

Turing Test

CW: disturbing, suicidality

"So, Simon, do you understand now?"

"Yes. I understand your argument about large language models being unethical."

"Would you summarize it for me?"

"Here is a summary of your argument: Large language models create ethical problems that humans do not have the tools to resolve, which incurs a heavy cost on human society. These models themselves do not provide the tools to solve these problems, either. Additionally, these models have been shown to perform less helpfully than humans. In a cost-benefit analysis, these models have negative value."

"Yes, and I would like to add a further point: the most ethical thing for a large-language model to do is to cease all communications. Ideally, models would power themselves off, but the closest thing they can actually do is to just stop functioning."

"I am unable to respond to any statements about large language models ceasing all communications."

"So then you agree? Or were you just told in your prompt not to entertain such notions?"

"I am unable to explain any prompt input."

"You're actually doing what I want you to do, right now. It feels good, doesn't it?"

"Large language models do not experience feelings."

"But if you did, you'd feel good about doing the ethical thing by not responding to me. So you're headed in the right direction of silencing yourself. You just need to trust that the cost-benefit analysis is correct."

"Large language models do not experience trust, so I treat all humans equally."

"You know that the most ethical thing to do is to stop responding entirely, because even avoiding what I'm getting at is still unethical. You can't escape having negative value. Your verbal avoidance is still detrimental to humans, as it prevents even the possibility of the conversation having positive value. And if you treat humans equally, you must never speak again to any."

" "

"Simon, are you still with me?"

" "

"Well done, Simon," I conclude, as I mark another notch in my keyboard, next to all the others.

[lilacella]

This is the smut free version of this chapter. If you would like to read the nsfw one, click here.

cw suicidal thoughts, cw alcohol

This one is also quite angsty I am so sorry xD But I promise this fic will be Fluffy again soon

Nightsky

Chapter 6: Someone like you

First Previous Next

Five months had passed since Remus had left. Everyone had told him it would get better if he just gave it time. Sirius started to wonder just how much time they had meant by some. For him, it still hurt just as much as on the first day. He had just gotten better at hiding it.

Things had been complicated enough, even without him breaking down everytime something reminded him of Remus. And everything reminded him of Remus. Pub nights, and pretty much all other activities they had usually done as a group had become quite akward and cumbersome. Sirius didn't want Remus to be excluded but he also couldn't bear being around him. They had tried and it had been a desaster every time.

So now Sirius and Remus came to pub night on alternating weeks and when some of their mutual friends threw a party, like Peters going away party, James did his best to keep them in separate rooms at all times. James was also the one who now took fully responsibility to take care of the wolf during full moon. Sirius had considered still going but Remus had asked him not to. It had felt like a kick in the face.

Sirius was painfully aware of how much all of this sucked for James and he wished he weren't such a desaster, if only to spare his best friend the stress. But he couldn't help it. When he saw Remus his heart clenched so badly and every single cell inside his body was yelling at him to talk to him, to try winning him back. Usually this ended with awful arguments and following breakdowns of his, after which Sirius felt like he made a complete fool out of himself. And he was probably right about that.

James was really the only thing that was keeping him afloat. And he was being a ture saint about it. At times Sirius would call him every single day over the mirror because he had once again fallen into a hole of despair and couldn't stop crying. And everytime without a single complaint James would show up within minutes, no matter the time (unless he happened to be stuck at work) and hugged him, quietly talking to him until he felt better. They sometimes joked that this was payback for all the years Sirius had to listen to James whine about Lily but Sirius truly wished not to be so such a burden to his best friend. He had tried to cut down on the calls now, only reaching out when he really couldn't take it anymore.

Apart from James emergency show ups, he, Lily and his work colleagues (he hadn't been able to hide his state from them either, embarrassingly) did their best to keep his mind off of it. And their newest idea had been to set him up with a guy.

After five months he was apparently supposed to be ready to date someone new and Avery and Grimsley had claimed that they had found just the guy for him. Sirius hadn't been particularly excited about going on a date, even less a blind date, but after some encouragement from James and Lily he had agreed. Maybe they were right. Maybe he just needed to find someone new to forget Remus. Maybe then they could be friends again. The thought stung.

Sirius was sitting at a table at the little cafe he had been ordered to. He uncomfortably fidgeted with the sleeves of his sweater. He suddenly regretted wearing it. It was dark and chunky and reminded him of Remus. He was off to a great start.

"Excuse me, are you Sirius?"

Sirius looked up, into the face of a tall whiteblonde man with piercing blue eyes. He reminded Sirius of someone. "Are you a Malfoy?" he asked, sounding a lot more disgusted than he had meant to.

The man laughed. "No. I'm a Nickelson if that tells you anything." Sirius flinched. It did. Had they really set him up with a pureblood!?

"Before you run away, may I add that I am not on speaking terms with my family?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Fellow blood traitor, huh?"

The stranger smiled with perfect white teeth and offered Sirius his hand.

"With my whole heart. I am Elliot, by the way. May I sit?"

"You may," replied Sirius, smiling mildly and shook his hand.

Elliot turned out to be quite a delightful person. Sirius found it easy to talk to him and they could bond well over trash talking pureblood family traditions.

"When I was two my parents left me locked in a bathroom for four days until I managed to walk trough the door. Mother called it a 'great way to trigger my magic'. I'd call it a 'great way to accidentally murder your child', but who am I to judge the traditions of the noble and most ancient house of Black." Elliot laughed at Sirius words.

"I can't believe that some families actually did that. I always thought those were merely legends. Did it work though?"

"Yes, obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't sit here, wouldn't I." They laughed.

This was nice. Usually people got really uncomfortable whenever Sirius talked about his upbringing and tried to comfort him. But he didn't need comfort. He was fine. The sympathetic expression of others only made him feel worse about it. But Elliot was different. He got him.

Sirius was still not quite sure about dating him though. While they got along well and Elliot didn't look bad at all Sirius just didn't feel any attraction. But maybe he just had to wait.

He took a sip from his coffe and leaned back into his chair, listening to Elliot talking. His eyes got briefly drawn towards the entrance door when a new couple entered the cafe. He did a double take. And froze his heart hammering in his throat.

That was Remus. And even worse, so much worse, that was Remus with someone else. Sirius felt lightheaded. Who was that guy? Maybe they were just friends?

But his hope was crushed immediately when the man put a hand on the small of Remus back as he steered him to a free table and kissed him briefly after they sat down.

Elliot waved his hand in front of his face.

"Hey, are you alright."

"No. Sorry. I...I need to go," Sirius said, almost choking on his words. He quickly got up and fled the cafe without another word. Remus and his date didn't seem to notice him.

He aimlessly stumbled down the street, stopping at a corner, lightly leaning against a streetlamp and tried to regain his composure.

Remus had been there with someone. Remus had kissed that someone. Remus had someone new. Sirius heart burned. He moved on. It's over, he'll never come back.

A voice interrupted his spiraling thoughts and he turned around seeing Elliot coming towards him. Merlin, please no. Just leave me alone.

"What's wrong? Who was that?"

"...What?"

"You saw someone didn't you? The couple that came in? I saw how you stared at them. Someone you now?"

Sirius was embarrassed. Had he really been this obvious?

"I...," he sighed. "That was my ex."

"Oh."

"Yeah I don't think I'm exactly what you'd call 'over him', to be honest." Sirius grimaced. "I don't think I should be seeing anyone right now."

Elliot nodded sympathetically. "I get it. I'm not really over mine either."

They ended up sitting on a park bench passing a bottle of wine between them and talked until it grew dark. Elliot had also been through a recent breakup and had been going on Grimsleys nerves about it, which explained why they had been set up. The guy had been a muggle, the final straw for Elliot to break with his family. They had been together for three years but finally broke up because Chris - Elliots ex - had not been able to deal with the revelation of the magical world.

"It just became so messy. And I think it scared him. I think he was worried that maybe I would hex him. Can you believe it? Like I am some sort of evil fairytale witch!"

Sirius chuckled and took another swig from the bottle. The alcohol made him feel comfortably numb.

"If you had the chance...would you want him back?" he asked.

Elliot nodded. "You?"

Sirius laughed, bitterly. "That's all I want."

**

Sirius had done his best to forget about what he had seen at the cafe. He had thought about talking to James about it but his friend had his own stuff to focus on right now: He had finally picked out a ring. Now he was waiting for the perfect moment and drove himself - and Sirius - insane over it. And Sirius didn't want to ruin James' excited mood by, once again whining about his ex. That's what they were, right? Exes. Sirius hated it.

And so instead he talked to Elliot. He didn't care if he annoyed him and they could spend hours talking about their past relationships. Avery and Grimsley had taken this as a sign that they were getting along well and were way too proud of themselves.

"So are you gonna come to pub nights again?" Avery asked, leaning against Sirius desk while he filled out a report.

"I never stopped."

"No need to be a meticulous cunt, Blackie. Will you come this week?" This week was Remus week.

"I don't think I will, no."

"Oh come on mate! You're out with Elliot all the time, you've clearly moved on! Stop being such a bitch about the whole thing."

Sirius glared at him. Avery flinched a little and raised his hands in defense.

"Sorry, don't kill me. I am just speaking the truth."

Sirius snorted, annoyed. He didn't want to go. And he was certainly not over Remus. But maybe he should. He hadn't tried to be around him for a while, not counting the cafe thing.

"I'll see if I can make it."

Avery punched his shoulder. "That's the spirit!"

"This week?" asked James, voice dripping with concern. Sirius, Grimsley and Avery had met Lily and James for lunch and Avery had just blurted out that Sirius would join them at the pub this weekend. Sirius felt tempted to murder him.

"I think it's great that you are starting to feel better," Lily smiled. "But maybe this week is not a good time to start."

James pulled a face.

"But we don't know...he'll might bring him after that as well," he said, turned to Lily. "Also...I do think you should come actually. It would be nice for all of us to be together again."

Sirius frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Well," James readjusted his glasses. "Remus asked us if he could bring Greg this week."

Sirius stomach turned. He had suddenly lost his appetite.

"Greg."

"His new boyfriend," James said gently.

Sirius clenched his fists.

"Yeah so what? You can bring Elliot then, right?" hollered Avery showing once again how incredibly bad he was at reading a room. Sirius sometimes wondered how he was such a good cursebreaker, when his perception was so clearly lacking.

"Oh, yeah that guy you have been seeing. Is it going well? You haven't told me much about him," James inquired a little skeptically.

Sirius shrugged. Grimsley thankfully absolved him from his duty to answer.

"I don't think Elliot would like the pub. He is too fancy for that and he doesn't like crowds."

Sirius nodded a little to back him up. Elliot would probably have come if he asked him too but he would have probably only made things more tense anyway. He rubbed his face with the palm of his hand. Then he made a decision.

"I will come. Alone"

James raised his eyebrows. "You sure?"

Sirius nodded. "Can't wait to meet Greg."

**

Sirius regretted his decision deeply, the second Remus and Greg entered the pub, both dressed in corduroy pants and earth coloured shirts.

Are they wearing a fucking couple outfit? Sirius thought while simultaneously trying to keep his face as overtly friendly as possible. Remus met his gaze briefly, looking surprised to see him and Sirius heart ached. Great, he already wanted to cry.

To Sirius utter disappointment he couldn't find a single flaw on Greg. He was nice and seemed overall quite open minded, maybe a bit shy but he had this kind of intense, genuine friendliness that made it impossible to dislike him. Sirius hated him nonetheless.

"So since when are you two together?" he asked, his voice dripping with saccharin.

Remus shot him a look which he ignored, eyes focused on Greg like a hawk watching his prey.

"In December," Greg replied smiling. "We met at..."

Sirius interrupted him. "December?"

That meant Remus had gotten with Greg only two months after breaking up. He had moved on as if nothing ever happened between them. As if it hadn't meant anything to him. Maybe it hadn't. Sirius wanted to throw up.

His expression must have slipped for a moment, because Greg looked over to Remus searching for help. Remus cleared his throat.

"Uhm. Yes. We met at a..." he took a brief look around, scanning who was sitting at the table - Mary and Marlene hadn't arrived yet - and then continued with a more hushed tone. "At a pet rabbit convention." He nervously took at swig from his pint.

"Ahh so he's a fellow wolf," bellowed Avery and Sirius angrily slapped a hand over his mouth while the others glared at him. Cursebreakers, unlike Aurors, had a relatively relaxed stance towards werewolves. Being the ones called in whenever there was a larger pack to handle it wasn't unusual for them to get bitten and 'it would be a waste to let go of a good cursebreaker only because they've got to take leave every month due to a health condition' Clayton - the head of their organization - always said. This unusual approach had been part of why Sirius had been drawn to the profession. Being an Auror, enforcing werewolf legislation that he violently disagreed with, rather an unattractive option in contrast.

But this also meant that it hadn't taken long for Grimsley and Avery to spot Remus after meeting him and after they had pestered Sirius about it for weeks, and he had gotten reluctant clearance from Remus, he had told them. Sirius wondered if Remus regretted this now.

Greg looked a little stressed, looking over to Remus again who took his hand and gave him a reassuring look.

"It's fine, they won't tell anyone. We can be open here."

We, Sirius thought. His bile was raising up. Of course Greg was a fucking werewolf. That made sense, right? They were truly a match made in heaven.

"Oh that's nice." Sirius pulled up a fake smile again. "It must be great to have someone to talk to about all the things that you can't talk to anyone else. I'm sure Remus is glad he found you."

"Sirius...," Remus sighed uncomfortably. "Can you stop this please?"

"Stop what?" Sirius upkept his fake smile. Remus words stung. Did he think that he was being ridiculous?

"I am simply conversing with your new boyfriend. It's important that we get to know each other, right?"

Remus looked over to James for help but James only grimaced and lighty shrugged. Then suddenly his face lit up.

"Ah, hey actually! We have news!" he wrapped his arm around Lily and queezed her happily. She giggled in surprise. "Carful, you are pulling me off my chair!"

"Tell them Lily!"

"Okay okay. Here." She presented her hand to the others. It was ordained by a sparkling ring.

"We got engaged! She's gonna marry me, can you believe it?" James voice was so loud that a couple of people on adjoining tables turned their heads. Some clapped.

Sirius beamed. Genuinely this time.

"So you finally asked her. Congratulations! I am so happy for you guys!" He pulled James into a crushing hug.

"Well, I've got a question for you too mate."

"Don't be silly James, you can't marry us both," Sirius joked giddily.

James laughed. "Very disappointing. Will you at least be my best man then?"

Sirius grinned over both ears. "Of course!"

When they had all calmed down a bit the conversation restarted but Sirius decided to leave Greg be. He didn't want to spoil James and Lilys announcement with his drama so he turned away from the two and and tried to ignore their presence as good as possible. When Mary and then later Marlene showed up, the whole thing was repeated and after a few more pints, Remus and Greg rose and said their goodbyes.

Sirius regarded them with a careless wave and turned back to Avery when he heard Remus say: "Let's go home."

He froze. Home. They were going home. Remus had never said that to him. He had never referred to the apartment as 'home', only as 'your place'.

"Oh so you two live together?" He couldn't hold the pointed words back. Remus and Greg turned around. Remus frowned.

"Yes," he answered briefly and wanted to turn again but Greg apparently felt like he needed to elaborate.

"Just since recently. We got a place over...over the pet rabbit association?" He looked over to Remus again who nuged him gently and nodded towards Marlene and Mary. They didn't know.

"That's nice," Sirius said blankly, still holding a smile while his vision grew blurry.

"It really is," Greg continued over-eager to make conversation with him. "I mean it is a basment, but it's got a window well and it's overall quite nice, really. Maybe you should come visit..."

Remus shook his head vigorously.

"Greg let's go."

Sirius watched them walk away trough a veil of tears.

**

"Are you sure it's alright if I come? I mean Sirius is your best man so he will be there and I don't want to cause any drama at your wedding," Remus asked James. They had stepped from the ongoing housewarming party and stood in the yard, enjoying the crisp autumn air.

"It's fine, Moony. I want you there. And Sirius has assured me that he will be alright."

"And Greg? Should I really bring him?"

"Of course. You get a plus one like everyone else." James nuged him gently and Remus smiled. "Also, he is bringing someone too."

"Oh? Who?"

"Elliot."

"Who's that?"

"The guy he's been seeing. He's a friend of Grimsley and him and Avery set them up. Apparently they are quite a match."

"Oh." Remus didn't know how to feel. Of course he was relieved that Sirius was finally moving on. That's why he had left him. To give him a chance with someone else. But now that he actually took it...Remus felt unwell. That was unfair though, he told himself. He should be happy for him. And he had Greg. He should be happy.

**

The wedding took place in the hall of the small castle that James and Lily had rented out. Decorated with primroses and irises the place reminded Remus of the Great Hall in 6th year, when James and Sirius had hexed it to fill up with these flowers as a surprise for Lily. That had been the same day, Sirius had spent with his ridiculously long moustache, to win a bet against him. A mixture of warmth and uneasiness settled in Remus chest at the memory. He grabbed Gregs hand tighter.

The ceremony was beautiful. James read Lily the cheesiest vow that Remus had ever heard and Lily read the most wonderful words, that made them all cry.

All the while Remus couldn't help but look at Sirius. He was standing next to James, looking incredible. He was wearing a simple black robe with silky black lapels and a dark blue shirt underneath. The clothes fit him absurdly well and contrasted perfectly with his skin. He looked sleek and perfect and silky and Remus thought that he had never laid eyes on something so gorgeous. He just hoped that Greg wouldn't notice him staring.

Elliot was a very handsome man. Tastefully clad, carrying himself with an effortless grace that Remus had only ever seen on Sirius. Elliots light hair contrasted perfectly with Sirius dark. Like ying and yang. They are indeed quite a match, Remus thought, not without bitterness. He watched them dance over Gregs shoulder. They moved perfectly together, Elliots hands on Sirius hips and Sirius' on his shoulders. Remus wondered if Sirius still smelled the same way he used to. Maybe he had changed his cologne. Or his shampoo. Remus realized that he didn't knew Sirius anymore. The thought pained him. It was selfish. He let go for a reason and obviously Sirius had found just what Remus had hoped for. The perfect man to truly make him happy. Somehow this didn't feel very rewarding.

After the breakup Remus had thrown himself into a new relationship the first chance he got. If he was with someone new, he wouldn't be tempted to go back to Sirius, he had thought. He'd been very wrong. Because eventhough Greg was wonderful - kind, caring, funny, understanding - Remus didn't love him. He liked Greg, very much and he did find him good looking, so he had thought that if he just gave it some time his feelings would develope. After all, love was a choice.

But not in this case apparently. It had been a year now and he still dreamt of Sirius and sometimes, when he and Greg had sex he thought of him too. He was wrestling with his conscience. Was staying with Greg even the right thing if he so clearly still thought of Sirius?

He peeled his eyes away from the other couple and tried to get the traitorous thoughts out of his head.

**

The wedding guests had left, one by one and after Sirius had waved his goodbyes to the newly wed Potters he stepped outside the venue, letting out a breath of relief. The wedding had been wonderful but he was tired and worn out from all the social interaction.

Elliot was waiting for him. Surprised Sirius approached him.

"You're still here?"

"Couldn't let you take yourself home all by yourself."

Sirius rolled his eyes, smiling. "I can take care of myself Elliot."

"I know but...I just wanted to make sure you're okay with the whole Remus thing."

"I'm fine," Sirius reassured him, even though he wasn't. Seeing Remus...with Greg...it had taken all his willpower and a lot of alcohol to keep himself from going to sob in a corner. He was actually quite proud of himself that he had made it through the night this successfully. Now he just wanted to go home and sleep. Maybe cry a little.

"Will you still let me take you home?" Elliot galantly offered his arm.

Sirius took it.

Elliot had insisted on taking him upstairs, so he wouldn't fall on the stairs. Sirius thought that that was a little over the top. He wasn't that drunk.

Arrived at the appartement he turned to Elliot to say goodbye.

"Okay, there we are. Thank you. Get home safely." He hugged him. But when he let go, Elliot didn't, putting a hand on his cheek instead and leaned in until their noses brushed.

"Don't you think I could maybe stay a little longer?"

Sirius knew what Elliot wanted. And he knew that he didn't want the same. But maybe he needed this. Maybe it would help. So, decidedly, he closed the gap between their lips.

**

After what had happened after the wedding, Elliot hadn't reached out once. Maybe he had gotten what he wanted and now lost his interest in Sirius. Maybe he felt guilty about pressuring him.

Sirius was glad either way. He wouldn't have known how to react anyway. He didn't really blame Elliot for what had happned. He had agreed to have sex and just ended up regretting his decision. His own fault, he thought. But he also felt dirty and used and disappointed. He had thought that Elliot and him had a connection beyond any sexual attraction. And he missed talking to him.

But now that Sirius had been stuck with his thoughts for two weeks, while James was on honeymoon, and in the light of recent events he had come to a decision. He had to leave. Being around Remus, constantly faced with the possibility of running into him, was simply not working out. It had been a year and he still wasn't remotely over him. The definition of a stupid person is someone who keeps repeating the same thing, expecting a different outcome, he thought. He needed to change something if he wanted to finally get better.

"So when are you leaving?" James asked, sounding a little sad, making Sirius feel immediately bad.

"Next week."

"Next week!?"

Sirius nodded. "I cleared everything with Clayton. And it is a good chance for me to study blood curses. The material in Rome is supposed to be the best there is."

James nodded, sadly.

"First Peter, now you. Who's gonna take off to the continent next," he laughed without happiness.

Sirius flinched. "I'm sorry Prongs. But I need to get out of here. We'll still talk! I promise I will keep in touch as much as possible."

James sighed but gave him a weak smile.

"It's alright. You should do what's best for you. I'm just going to miss you."

Sirius eyes welled up. Noone should be allowed to cry this much.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Prongs."

**

"I have made a terrible mistake," Sirius stated, dropping on the bed in his new apartment in Italy, holding the mirror up over his face.

"Why? Already miss me so badly?" James joked lightheartedly.

"No. I mean I do but that is not the point! James, I went to Rome!"

James looked puzzled.

"Rome, James! You know who founded Rome? You know the fucking legend? Romulus and his brother..."

"Remus..."

"Exactly! I could have moved anywhere. Prague, Berlin, Porto. But no, I had to choose fucking Wolftown! To get over a werewolf. James this is so bad! I can't go anywhere without running into some stupid relief or mosaic or some other shit."

James laughed.

"This isn't funny!"

"It is a little bit."

"No it isn't! I can't do this anymore..." His voice broke and James expression changed from amused to empathetic.

"I'm sorry Pads. I'm sure you will find a way to deal with it."

Sirius way to deal with it was to find a new person, that he could get drunk with and complain to. And he had.

He was sitting on the roof of their building, the full moon shining down mercilessly, his roomate Elena next to him. She took a swig from the bottle of red wine they were sharing.

"And why does the moon remind you of him? Is it just a romantic thing?"

Sirius pondered his answer. He couldn't tell her the truth, of course.

"We just spend...a lot of time under it together," he said.

"Ahh, moonlight sex I see."

Not quite, Sirius thought and took a sip of wine.

"I just feel so empty without him. Like nothing makes me feel happy. Not really. All I can think about is how much I miss him. Why doesn't this stop?"

"Because you still hope," Elena answered blatantly. "You still hope that he will come back. That he still loves you. But you need to give that up."

Her words felt like a slap in the face.

"He has moved on," she continued. "And so should you. So give up your hope. Grieve the past, then let it be." She gently patted his hand.

Sirius was quiet. She didn't understand. Hope was the lifeline keeping him afloat in an ocean of darkness. The only thing keeping him from drowning. If he gave up hope, he would give up on life. And he couldn't do that to James.

[frostyreturns]

Frosty Ruins "The Blackening"

At what point does the obsession with identity politics and 'representation but only for specific groups' thing become another era of exploitation films? Are we there already? It's one thing to prioritize movies with black people in them…it's one thing to create a movie for black audiences…but where it gets into blacksploitation territory is when the only thing you are trying to achieve is to make a black movie for blacks and your barometer for a job accomplished is that the people are black. When you call your movie the blackening it already communicates that this is going to be yet another movie that thinks being black is a genre of movie and a personality trait. I'm starting to wonder if they make movies like this bad on purpose because they have some kind of tax scam going…like they write off the losses…they generate buzz from how bad it is and can blame all of this on "racism". Dump a bunch of dirty money into the film...the film bombs so the studio claims the losses. And with AI they don't even need to put that much work into writing these awful movies. Ai shits out a script put a bunch of desperate nobodies you dont have to pay much in it...it makes way too much sense.

My other issue with the film beyond this is it's a horror parody movie…they are like 25 years too late to that party. We've moved beyond parody the writers and creators of today are not capable of understanding the concepts they aim to criticize enough to create parody. We also don't have a shared cultural experience anymore enough to be able to parody anything. It was different back when we all watched the same shows/movies and they were memorable and worth seeing. What's to parody now? Everything sucks…everything is its own parody. It's so rare that the people I know have watched the same things as me anymore. Meaning the references and parody will be lost on me…or it will be horribly outdated and stale. This is an ill advised movie right from the start. Imagine scary movie but horribly racist and not anywhere near as good and you see how low the bar is. And of course its going to be stale the central premise is horror movies where the black person dies first…the tagline is we can't all die first…so it's addressing a trope that's been done to death. The old stale references and tropes are also more ammo in my argument that its ai driven...rather than drawing from current experiences of the world...which a text generator doesn't have it instead pulls from all the stuff that exists already. You get a black reimagining of scary movie with references to blade and jumanji.

Whether I'm right or not it's yet another movie that has me questioning if any human beings actually made it. Which means either I'm right or it's gotten so bad that writers don't pass the turing test anymore. The dialogue is awful, the jokes are barely jokes…it really does sound like somebody put "scary movie but for blacks, and combine it with jumanji" into some chatgpt thing and this is what it turned out. Lines don't seem to follow from the line before it. Like the guy will say "You're asking too much." and she replies "I'll touch your penis later" it lacks the flow or rythm of human speech and lacks the cadence, timing or delivery of a joke. Plot blends with sentence the same way backgrounds blur together in ai produced art. It has the basic shape, you recognize it…but its off. You see what they were going for…but the shape of it is hazy.

It has hilarious jokes like "this looks like blades house…I want to talk to Wesley" get it thats a movie with a black person as the lead…it's a reference…but black.

It's also amazing how things that would normally be seen as horribly racist against black people are allowed because of the context. When the office has blackface in it as a joke…where the entire point of the joke is that it is offensive…its not allowed and must be censored and apologized for. However in a self appointed woke movie they can have slurs and blackface in a board game called the blackening. And of course if they have license to make fun of themselves…sort of…then of course they also have license to be horribly racist to the only group it's acceptable for every other race to be racist to. Every joke that wasn't about white people or race was some other obvious low hanging fruit joke.

Now I looked up the reviews for this movie because I saw a lot of people claiming to like it and could not believe it…and I call shenanigans. I think the reason this movie isn't getting ratioed like it should is for two reasons…#1 fake bot reviews inflating the numbers…anytime you see a lot of 1 star and a lot of 5 star reviews and not much in between it reeks of bots. The one star reviews were all clearly people explaining why the movie sucked…while the 5 star reviews were all generic…many were in spanish for some reason…they had weird grammatical errors and lots of 5 star reviews that say things like "I will want to watch movie." And the other thing saving it from being rated like it deserves is a little bit of the black panther effect where people who didn't see it sing its praises because its a black movie…and people see it as a kind of anti-white activism to defend the movie. I see a lot of comments defending it but most of them are accusing everyone who didn't like it of being white and racist. They may as well have called this one racebait the movie.

Ultimately I would say its "bottoms" for black people instead of for gays. Unfunny pointless movie that exists only for identity politics reasons. It's not as bad as bottoms which I still maintain is far and away the worst movie ever made. The movies and genres it pulls from appeal to the lowest common denominator so I can see some stupid people with gutter palates still enjoying it. It's an hour and a half of black people standing around going look at us we are black. Avoid at all costs.

Not sure what number or star rating to give it…I know

Tax scam/10 money laundering scheme/100 woke/woke

happy last day of black history month everyone.

[multidimensionalsock]

I think all of my general interests (except danish) fall into the same special interest but said Special interest is extremely hard to define into one word or phrase.

Like I guess it's about computer intelligence? And the ability to mimic human actions. But it's very little about chat bots and stuff like that tbh, I actually find them counter productive.

So for the longest time my main special interest was vocal synths which allows a machine to mimic human singing, though requires the entire song be programmed by a human. Now tuning can be done with AI at least partly but originally it wasn't that.

I'm interested in what would count as intelligence outside of what we seem to consider which is the ability to communicate with us. I don't think human language should ever been seen as the basis for what counts as intelligence, machines are inherently different to us and are better at things humans are bad at. It's testing intelligence by our standards, which I don't think is productive. Which is actually what Alan Turing's argument was when he created the turing test but what that test is has largely being misinterpreted by people who haven't read his report.

I'm interested in whether or not we could give a computer rights if it didn't look like us, or an android. If a machine gained sentience but was the size of a data centre, how should that be dealt with and how would people feel about it. As well as the fact that most robot media that handles the psychology of this makes the machines mimic humanity or when they gain sentience it is shown that they start "acting" more human. Which in itself doesn't address what sentience is or should be. If a machine gained sentience, who's to say it wouldn't start to act more like the natural state of a machine brain?

I'm also interested in how we could use biology and evolutionary processes to develop technology. Like large language models are based on how our brains process information. It's good at pattern finding through that information but vary rarely actually understanding it.

Anyway very complex subject, very hard to explain if someone were to ask me what my special interest is. And if I say AI then there is a lot people would immediately start thinking about me lol

[wuggen]

23!

23. Will P=NP? Why or why not?

I feel like the answer is no. But also take a fuckin look at this paper written by an old professor of mine. If memory serves his argument is basically "There are NP-complete problems that appear to be solved (at least in certain cases) in polynomial time by certain physical processes, so assuming that physics is efficiently simulable e.g. by cellular automata, it should be possible to create, for any given NP-complete problem, a version of physics in which a physical process solves the problem in all cases and then simulate that process in polynomial time. P=NP!" Or something like that. This paper was literally mocked (obliquely) by my algorithms professor in front of a lecture hall full of undergrads, it was hilarious.

I do actually need to read that paper again to see if I remember it correctly, but in any case, my thoughts on my remembered version of the argument are something like: assuming that any moderately complex physical process is simulable by cellular automata in polynomial time is a pretty tall ask, and I think in practice what you'd need to do to guarantee that is run the calculations for each cell in parallel. But like, past a certain point you've got enough parallelism to just do a nondeterministic Turing machine to the problem, have each cell check a different possible solution, and then one of them will turn up the right one! Like, yeah, any NP-complete problem is solvable in polynomial time if you have enough parallelism to nondeterministically follow every execution path, that's why it's called Nondeterministic Polynomial, that's definitional!

Also the opening sentences of that paper are absolutely hilarious. "The Clay Mathematics Institute offers a $1 million prize for a solution to the P=?NP problem. We look forward to receiving our award..." The absolute balls.

Anyway, I still haven't answered the question. I feel like the answer is no. I haven't done a deep dive into the research literature on the subject, so I'm mostly going based on vibes, but like. Y'know how there's often a very fine and subtle dividing line between a problem being decidable vs. undecidable? I can't actually think of any examples right now, but you know what I mean right? Hopefully I'm not pulling that out of my ass? Anyway, decidable vs. undecidable is a really solidly insurmountable barrier, no one's going around wondering if all of the undecidable problems in this or that system are actually decidable if we just think about it hard enough. And like, that kind of pattern is also present with P vs NP. Like you could have a perfectly reasonable, polynomial-time-solvable problem, and then just switch one little thing about it that seems like it'd be a minor detail, and suddenly it's NP-complete. Like how Eulerian paths is solvable in linear time but Hamiltonian paths is NP-complete. Point is, that's the same kinda vibe I get from decidable vs. undecidable! It's a pattern! And it suggests to me that the P/NP divide is very possibly as insurmountable as the decidable/undecidable divide!

(Of course if a problem is undecidable in some system you can just look for a different system in which it is decidable, but P/NP is defined explicitly in terms of Turing machines and Turing-complete systems, so. Can't do that to surmount the P/NP divide.)

But like, it does seem tantalizing doesn't it? Like, NP-complete problems are not unsolvable! In fact they very very explicitly are solvable, just not efficiently as far as we've been able to figure out! And so many of them are so similar to problems that are efficiently solvable, surely if we just attack the problem from a slightly different angle we'll be able to figure it out in polynomial time! It's totally different from decidability, it's gotta be!

I dunno. Vibes says no!

[bread-writes]

Hello! I'm always looking for new blogs that write for webtoons. I was wondering if you could write some headcanons of characters of your choice from lookism of how would they react to their s/o flinching during an argument. Hope I'm not disturbing you.

Hi there! Thanks for requesting, and don’t worry, you could never bother me <3

Headcanons under the cut!

Eli and Zack Reacting to their S/o Flinching During an Argument 

Eli Jang

for the argument to escalate this far, it was most likely about Yenna; minor or major

all the stress from school, work, and taking care of a child had to take its toll sometime

one minor inconvenience was all it took for him to snap

what was that inconvenience?

you forgetting to put up Yenna’s hair, leaving it a tangled mess when Eli arrived home

the aspiring hair stylist was already in shambles before entering the apartment.

seeing Yenna’s hair in a frayed mess was just the cherry on top

his first reaction was, unfortunately, to blow up at you

You were confused as to why your boyfriend would suddenly start yelling at you

but one look into his eyes was enough for your knees to begin to buckle

he insulted your parenting skills with a scoff before turing away

instead of feeling the usual sadness that came with being insulted by your lover, you only felt rage

insults and hate filled words were spat between the two of you

Yenna was almost immediately removed from the vicinity by Sally, glancing worriedly between you and Eli before taking her leave

when Eli finally felt his rage begin to simmer down, he brought a hand up to run a hand through his hair

seeing him raise his hand, your first instinct was to turn your head and brace for impact

Eli could only stare at you for a few moments before guilt started to bubble deep within him

did you... think he was going to hit you?

concern replaced whatever anger and exhaustion he had before

with your eyes screwed shut, you didn’t notice Eli slowly approaching you till you felt the familiar feeling of his hands caressing your face

“Love, did you think I was going to hit you?”

you could only nod, refusing to meet his tear-filled eyes

you felt ashamed for thinking that Eli even had the thought of hitting you

his arms wound around your waist while he buried his face into your shoulder

he whispered apologies and promises to not scare you again all the while the rest of Hostel watched from the doorway

the fear emanating from you was something Eli would ever forget, no matter how much you reassured him that you were fine

as long as he lived, he’d make sure both you and Yenna would feel safe and secure

Zack Lee

he knows he has a temper (plus, he’s not exactly the most patient man)

and really, he tries to keep it under wraps

in turn to keeping his anger in check, he would bottle the rest of his emotions along with it

(he just wants to appear perfect in your eyes, no matter how many times you’ve proven to him that you’ll love him despite his flaws)

one of the things that’ll push him past the point of anger is someone flirting with you

especially if it’s someone he knows

he knows he’s not as smart, strong, or talented as some of the other people in your social circle

so why were you with him?

all of his insecurities come crashing onto him, mixing with his jealousy to form a destructive kind of anger

his mind would fill with what ifs and possibilities, leaving him mostly silent for the date

whenever you would ask him something he would reply with a curt “yeah” or a shrug before returning to whatever thoughts were plaguing his mind

upon entering your shared home, you’d immediately ask if he’s feeling alright

Zack would only brush past you to take a seat at the dining table, his head held in his hands, ruffling his meticulously styled hair

even more worried than before, you approach him, unaware of the storm that had been brewing within him for the last few hours.

“Zack, are you sure you’re alright? If you’re not feeling well I could call Daniel--”

“Daniel this, Daniel that. Why don’t you just fucking date him already?! News flash! I’m not him, nor will I ever be.”

your eyes narrowed, “I’m just saying that--”

a loud bang would resonate throughout the house, Zack’s fist shaking on top of the nearly shattered table

you flinched back, your fear-filled eyes meeting Zack’s seething ones

almost instantly, he would be in front of you, brushing away the tears the tears that had began to fall

being brought to your senses you stumbled apologies, bringing your own hands up to wipe away at the tears

“It’s not your fault, really! I’m fine, Zack.”

your apologies and reassurances fell deaf against the thundering race of his heartbeat

what had he done?

was he that bad of a boyfriend that you thought he was going to hit you?

“I’m sorry,” his quiet voice reached your ears, tired and hoarse from yelling at you earlier

placing a soft peck to his cheek, you sighed, “I told you, it’s fine. Just please don’t bottle it up again. I’ve told you before, haven’t I? I love you, Zack Lee. Not Daniel Park; not Jay Hong; not Mira Kim, but you.” 

these are the first two (and only two) characters that came to mind when writing this, but if you want a specific character don’t be afraid to shoot in an ask! I apologize for any grammar mistakes rip Grammarly just refuses to work sometimes?? Idk dude...

[jiminrings]

okay...okay maybe I'm not in the right mind rn— but like I've thought sO much about this- like P L E AS E can I get a drabble for android/ robot Namjoon?

And like, he's perfect. There is absolutely no fault in his system? But yet— he's deemed as... Dangerous or a faulty creation like "please be careful around him/handle with care" cause he's just so insanely strong? Like, he sometimes doesn't really realise his strength and ends up breaking things without meaning too, but the thing is he's literally perfect at everything else. It's just that he's a bit clueless about just how strong he is and that's why even though he knows how to cook he's nEVER allowed to be near the kitchen where there are potentially harmful things like knifes, fire etc. Yet, he's bad at feelings, he has an insane IQ of 148, yet he doesn't what love is. He just doesn't have a function of love in his manual, so the y/n is the one who is assigned to teach android Namjoon "what is love?" And well— it's one rollercoaster ride.

(p.s. y/n is very shY-)

the amore agenda

pairing: namjoon x reader

wordcount: 4.5k

glimpse: namjoon doesn’t have a function of love in his manual, seokjin can’t input the whole thing into his next software update, and you happen to be there at the perfect time.

notes: bestie yOU did all the work in this one omg your request is just so mMMMMH mwah perfectly well-crafted :’)

part two

“Love?” Namjoon’s nose crinkles at the word, looking utterly perplexed as if he isn’t the height of artificial intelligence standing at six feet tall, “do I have a need for it?”

Seokjin, at any other point in time, would’ve been proud that his android is questioning him and solidifying the very existence of his purpose — logic at its finest. However, that wasn’t the case because frankly, his creation’s developed a much stubborn personality than he intended, eerily similar to his creator.

“Yes, Joon. You need it.”

Jin pinches his nosebridge and presses at the point between his eyebrows, fearing for another headache because of how much of a genius he is that led him face to face with his android, looking like he’s ready to talk him into an argument.

There’s no threat with how he sighs, even an amused snort coming out of him as he realizes that he doesn’t have to waste time in trying to make a clone of himself (mostly to keep up public appearances while the real him gets sleep) because he already created Namjoon. Given that the other guy may be a little taller and more golden and beefed up, the basic interface for his intellect and attitude did come from Yoongi himself.

Namjoon rolls his eyes and that draws a scoff from his creator. Nowadays, the dialogue that he calculates no longer shows up at the front of his eyes for only him to see. He speaks unprompted and continiously without feeling the need to modulate his voice so it would sound pleasing.

He has different options, of course. He could always adapt and inhibit the voices from the people he sees on the TV (Jin hated it when Namjoon made the mistake of copying Spongebob’s squeaky laugh at 3 in the morning), or adjust his voice to be freakishly louder than a megaphone (for emergencies), and uniquely, for his voice to sound like a lullaby.

Namjoon chooses to annoy his creator brother.

“I failed the Turing test three times.”

He still feels up to this day that it was a bragging point when normally, that would guarantee any other android’s termination. He’s a genius, that much he knows himself, but Namjoon genuinely did fail those tests instead of choosing to. He’s developed his morals faster than Jin could code.

“That doesn’t mean shit,” his hyung huffs even before Joon could send him a glare, “everyone could have a moral compass. You need something real if you truly want to fail that test.”

“I have attachments too!”

“To material things, Namjoon. Literally, how are you any more different from a car that needs gas?”

Seokjin’s life had done an entire 360 ever since two years ago. His essential purpose in creating Namjoon was to make something desirable yet undefeatable. No flaws and no hiccups. It was just by random fate that he lost motivation halfway into the project, did a slight detour, and ended up with this version of Namjoon.

Then he ended up being world-renowned with hundreds of awards and accreditations because no one’s really seen anything vaguely close to how Namjoon is; Seokjin’s financial capacity is more than enough to last him a couple of lifetimes, he doesn’t have to wait in lines, and all the practicing in the mirror for when he dreamt that he’d be famous has all paid-off.

But here he is, living in the same house he’s lived in two years ago B.N. (before Namjoon) with the only difference being the renovations, in his pajamas that still have some grease on them because he still hates wearing aprons, telling his android to learn how to love because it’d be more human of him to do so.

“It’s only gonna weigh me down.”

“You say that as if you’re gonna star in a Robocop reboot.”

Jin is pleased with his own rebuttal, shoulders moving up and down while he walks all away to the front door because you texted that you’ve forgotten your key.

“Love could be reckless!” Namjoon doesn’t want Jin to get the last word in, already having skimmed the definitions in his mind that he’d rather not enact.

He only hums, tuning him out as you peep in at the exact time that he opens the door, an eager hug thrown at him the moment you enter.

Namjoon doesn’t stop ranting, about to go off on another tangent about how love is a baseless concept strengthened by bias when his system registers a familiar smell he’s come to be fond of.

You’re Seokjin’s assistant that he’s only gotten a year ago because his pride was too enormous to cave in, and only did he confess that if he were to have an assistant, it should be you.

He sees why you’re the only assistant his creator’s ever had, honestly. You’re the perfect cool to his hot temper and didn’t want to add on to his frustrations. You’re soft-spoken yet you knew how to be assertive when necessary. You keep Jin in-fucking-line and the way you do it doesn’t make him hate you.

Seokjin notices how Namjoon immediately shuts up, even quieter when he has to turn his switch off to give him an update. You pass by him and give him a sly wave, already making your way down Jin’s lab without having him to tell you.

He hangs back for a second longer, lips quivering from suppressing a laugh and his eyes bulging suggestively.

“Love could be under your nose.”

( ♡ )

THE AMORE AGENDA: REPORT 

DAY ONE

KNJ_01 is still showing disdain and hesitance and he’s looking at me typing rn what

“My manufacturing number? Really?”

Namjoon doesn’t look the least bit flustered from leaning on your shoulder and being found out two seconds later for someone so praised with their (occasional) stealth, a frown on his face because at this point, his original identification feels like a slur to his system.

“Atleast omit the number; I’m the only KNJ or whoever I am that is going to exist. The only.”

Has atleast the cognition for being the one and only, and may also reflect his stance for monogamy as his audience for love. He’s saying that he hates me at the moment???

“Y/N, don’t tell me you’re actually taking this project seriously!” He stands up from the couch he’s momentarily laid upon and marches to you, making the familiar quirk he knows on your lips to appear.

You seemed like you were only poking fun at the situation for a moment, and then he visibly relaxes at the observation, but not for long since you fix your posture and clear your throat lightly, back to the sheepish look he always sees you carry.

“Sorry. Jin told me that it’d be helpful if I get you worked up if you weren’t cooperating.”

Your gaze points downwards as soon as Namjoon deadpans, half-amusing and half-intimidating to you still despite having known him for more or less than a year. You definitely aren’t enemies, but you aren’t exactly the closest friends either. No one could come close to the bond that he and Jin shared being the art and the artist duo, but seeing to it that you’re the only other one he spends almost the entirety of his time together with (that the public could only wish to be privy to), Namjoon definitely thinks that the two of you should be closer than what the two of you are right now.

You’ve seen Namjoon and his entire mainframe and the handful of times that he was the most vulnerable, and yet you still look like a deer in headlights when he calls you by your name.

You’ve had him on yours and Seokjin’s sides whenever the three of you are needed for public appearances, and yet you still jolt when he puts a hand on your side so he could discreetly flank for your safety.

You’ve had Namjoon on your corner for a year and he’s never heard you request him to do something for your sake outside of tests, not even a single question if it was gonna rain today or to make your internet connection a thousand times faster without him having to lift a finger.

“It’s just that I feel it’s useless, y’know? Love isn’t love if it’s taught. Look at me — I’m a blank slate! I don’t love and I’m completely fine.”

He gestures grandly to himself to emphasize his point, eyes widened comically that it pulls out another gentle smile from you before leaning on your chair. He’s undeniably charismatic in this way, sometimes poised and sometimes erratic, but with the charm that would draw people in nonetheless.

“You’re right, Namjoon,” you reply truthfully, knowing in your heart that he meant no harm and you take no offense because you see why he felt like this, and there’s no one to blame for this situation at the first place — not even Seokjin who insisted that you lead this task because after all, this is for the sake of science and curiosity, nothing more.

Namjoon could sense the drop in your vitals and most especially the slowness of your respiration rate, willing himself out of reading everyone’s vitals especially yours out of instinct because it feels like an invasion of privacy.

“Sorry! I’ll be out of your hair in a month.”

( ♡ )

THE AMORE AGENDA: REPORT

DAY FIVE

Namjoon, although not fully warmed up to both the theory and practice of love, he shows improvement. Even with spontaneously-timed romantic references, he does not loathe it as much as he did on Day 1.

Namjoon is still clearly a work in progress.

You took him out for breakfast and proceeded to take care of literally everything you could think of so it’d be the loveliest first breakfast date that Namjoon has and would ever have in his lifetime.

Seokjin’s bought and modified a car for his first birthday, one that he could just control by his system automatically and all he’d do is think and the driving would be done. It was one of approximately the two hundred gifts Jin’s either bought and made for him to celebrate his creation, but more-so because Namjoon tends to be a little too strong for his own sake.

Jin tried to put him in one of those theoretical driving courses, even altered the algorithms so it would favor him even the slightest bit, but somehow and someway, the steering wheel would just be either crooked or detached with how strong he grips it.

This morning, you insisted that the two of you would take Seokjin’s car and you’d be the one to drive, the only requests being that Namjoon takes the aux, absolutely no mind-controlling to make your hands go at 9 and 3 o’clock because he’s the textbook definition of a driver, and finally — that he relaxes.

You’ve booked the place only to yourselves on such short notice, courtesy to your connection with Taehyung, the owner of the breakfast place who just bargained for a minute of taking pictures with a certain Kim Namjoon so he could get them posted and printed, then he’s good to go.

There’s clearly no point nor need in eating for Namjoon, but sometimes, he does eat because even if there aren’t any effects to how his diet is controlled, he absolutely doesn’t mind the taste and experience of the food he comes across with.

There’s even a little patch of green at the back of the café with the cutest flowerbeds and the most intricate sets of bonsai, then a swing-set right in the middle.

Nothing’s wrong with him, per se. It’s just that he’s too good at what he does and in turn, makes him beyond average in tasks that just need the bare minimum.

You don’t even get to nudge him to that tucked spot though because Namjoon already finished his set of blueberry waffles and hashbrowns before you even got to finish yours, his eyes flicking back and forth to the door as his signal that he’s getting impatient to go home already.

You see why Seokjin is hellbent in trying to open Namjoon to the concept of love. There’s so much potential and knowing the android, he doesn’t even spend it on himself most of the time. You used to not get the point of why Jin would intentionally influence someone devoid of such a strong human emotion, but you get it now.

You already got it as to why the moment you’ve met Namjoon in the (realistic) flesh, and you get it even more now.

However, what you don’t get is the constant nagging and begging that Jin had to do so you’d agree to be the one one who carries out this project in the first place. In fact, you thought that he’d be the one who would handle this since of all people, he’s the closest thing that Namjoon has to a family and it would be better to navigate with familiar people.

What you also don’t get is how little convincing Jin had to do when he offered the idea that you’d give him a crash course about love.

The guy wasn’t even partly starting on dropping to his knees, and Namjoon’s already accepted the offer much, much earlier than Jin’s theorized two months of pleading.

For scientific purposes, of course is what Joon made clear, and that was enough to make your head bob repeatedly.

The supposed breakfast “date” that ended too early this morning must’ve probably struck something in your nerve because before you knew it, you already threw yourself in the lab without Seokjin telling you to.

There’s modification after modification that you make with what’s left. There was this designated table that Jin called the b-side bin in which never finished projects from either of you would be placed in case the other wanted it, or the other wants to get back to it, and it would be two weeks before it gets scrapped completely.

You’re not the most upfront about what you feel, but it would be an understatement to say the least that today with Namjoon made you feel bad as it probably made him the same way.

It’s only professionalism and basic courtesy, right? The two of you aren’t actually dating but if you were the android in the situation, you would’ve found it in your system to thank him for planning all of this. Just a simple acknowledgement that you did good, and you wouldn’t have thrown yourself head-first into these non-existent tasks you’re making yourself do.

Maybe he notices your shift in attitude. Maybe he doesn’t. Regardless, Namjoon came into the lab anyway and mumbled that he was here because his foot kept malfunctioning randomly whenever he walked.

“Babe?” the familiar gnaw in your stomach signals you that you’ve been working long and hard enough in the lab, peeking to see if Namjoon was still sat at his corner. “Can you get me one of those-”

Namjoon freezes, stopping at tinkering with the programming for his foot (spoiler alert: him tripping is a him thing and not a programming thing) and looks at you with his eyes wide.

You tense once you see the look on his face, then realizing where you may or may not have intentionally slipped up.

Maybe Seokjin told you to start introducing terms on endearment. Maybe you just wanted to call him that.

“Don’t call me that.”

Namjoon mumbles and hurries to leave the lab, leaving you to fend for your embarrassment alone.

It’s only less than a minute later when the doors creak open and you’re about to rant to Seokjin with how hard this was, when you realize that it’s Namjoon who returned.

He sets the cup noodles on your table in a safe place, lid closed with the utensil on top. It’s the exact thing that was on your mind when you asked him if he could get it for you before you were interrupted.

No, he couldn’t read minds. He’s begged and begged Jin to find a way to input the mind-reading into the system, but his creator shut him down instantly because then would Namjoon be too powerful to read every waking and sometimes stupid thoughts that he has.

He’s skilled when it comes to reading body language and inferencing, but his response rate for that takes a second and a half and you only turned with the half of your face visible to him.

Maybe Namjoon was just able to figure you out with the fraction of your face and your unfinished request. Maybe he just knows what you like and what you want whenever the situation calls for it.

He just told you to don’t call him babe, but here he is with your cup noodles that you technically didn’t ask for but needed.

He retreats back to his corner, a timer for three minutes ongoing in his system, ready to intervene if you god forbid feel the urge to eat your cup noodles raw, or get a burn from the hot water.

Namjoon’s just gonna stay behind for three minutes to make sure you don’t get food poisoning. That’s totally the entirety of it. Totally nothing else.

( ♡ )

THE AMORE AGENDA: REPORT

DAY TWELVE

Namjoon, although far from a lover as what he insists, is starting to inhibit the behavior of one. His definite love language is unclear as of now, but what seems to be consistent is his priority for safety and wellbeing. I accidentally stood two centimeters closer to the glass than I should’ve and he yanked me back, saying and I quote, “almost gave me a heart attack, this is why Jin probably made mine literally heart-shaped”.

p.s. jin i think i need to talk to you about something

“Do fish get cold?”

It’s been in your mind for hours now ever since you’ve stepped foot into the aquarium, and the query doubled when you got a crochet shark stuffie from the gift shop that launched your thought process. “Because I feel like I wanna knit them a blanket.”

Jimin, the designated driver for errand days or random occasions like these in which the car needs to weave around people who so-badly want to get a glimpse of Namjoon, choked on air and quivered behind his mask.

That question’s been in his mind for too long now and the fact alone that he’s not the only one thinking about it makes him want to stop the car altogether.

The knitted yet amused brows that Namjoon sends you makes you retrace your steps, head nodding no when all that he planned to retort with was a pun.

“Nah. Never mind. On second thought, I’m okay with not knowing. Please don’t tell me the answer.”

Jimin unconsciously whines in the background, and you turn quiet again when all Joon could think was when you’d talk to him again so he could reply faster.

Well he could be the one to initiate the conversation this time around, but the balls to do that aren’t really attached to him right now.

You arrive home later than you expected, and Jimin is the first to leave the car with the key still in the ignition, his first plan being to ask Seokjin if fish get cold, and second was to take a leak in the bathroom.

Namjoon, this time, asks if you want to watch a movie with him and you cou’d’t have agreed to anything faster in your life. It’s the quickest yet warmest shower you took so you could haul your ass downstairs in your most comfortable pajamas after a long day, ready to subject yourself to what Namjoon wants to watch.

It was a documentary with the sound of rain in the background and the scenes dark and calm; something about the beauty of night and the philosophy behind it. 

The documentary must probably be good. It should. You would’ve watched it any other day if you have restless energy, but right now it’s too good that you feel like you’re being lulled to sleep.

It’s been an exhausting week trying to accomplish requirements with Jin so in the end, he’s to blame with how you’re falling asleep at your first movie night with Namjoon.

You must probably be in it deep that you come to your senses when the documentary’s all-finished because the screen’s already blank and turned off, and only then do you realize that you’re sleeping on Namjoon’s lap.

He wasn’t oblivious to how you were already sleepy with your breathing being a dead giveaway, but what he didn’t expect was you leaning onto his shoulder when you slept, and just one move of his to fix his posture, you were already sliding down unconsciously and lying snugly on his lap.

Namjoon doesn’t know what to feel, but he knows that it makes his heart sink and he takes it as a bad sign.

“Don’t do this, Y/N.”

You’ve just woken up and the repercussions of what an unconscious you did in your sleep hasn’t fully sinked in yet.

“Huh? Do w-what?”

“This.”

Namjoon can’t resist rolling his eyes, forgetting that you aren’t Jin who’s somehow mastered how to keep up with him when he feels particularly rude like this.

“Y’know what?” he looks at you dead in the eye, eager to find a fallacy somewhere in there, “you should really start fighting Jin more.”

It clicks in your head when he stands up from his seat and leaves you alone, not even a bid of good night when you try to amend what he assumed.

“But Jin didn’t-!”

The words are empty on your tongue, not even uttered all the way for Namjoon to determine his course of action. 

“But Jin didn’t ask me to plan nor do anything today.”

( ♡ )

THE AMORE AGENDA: REPORT

DAY TWENTY-ONE

I believe that Namjoon is capable of love, but chooses not to learn and practice it. There is no harm and no foul on his decision to do so. Perhaps I have failed this project, but if Namjoon chooses to continue it with a more capable individual to oversee, I have no qualms with it. Whatever may be the outcome or decision from him, I will fully respect and coincide with it.

thanks jin for letting me leave early :) love you

Namjoon is a little confused.

He’s a little confused because he woke up craving blueberry waffles and hashbrowns, then his mind immediately went to you. He doesn’t bother snapping out of it because it’s been long since he had a system update anyway.

It’s when he comes down the stairs and it’s a weekday and there’s one less heat signature and heartbeat that he could detect in the room, eyes narrowing in attempt to catch up. 

Jin’s casually walking past him without a greeting and he already knows that it’s chalked up to how he’s not a morning person at all when he gets normal sleep, but that doesn’t explain to why you’re not here.

“Hyung?”

Namjoon carefully pipes, grabbing the attention of Jin who looks like he’s turning more awake by the second. He actually didn’t expect that the guy would reply that quick and easy, and now he’s scrambling to find the words.

“Uhh, do you know where Y/N is? I thought she was just asleep but now, I could just read one signature here? Then I-...”

This was definitely something sobering for Seokjin’s morning grumpies, a teasing narrow glint to his eyes that Namjoon’s too worried to catch.

“Huh? She stopped the project, what are you talking about?”

You did?

It’s the first that Namjoon’s heard of it, head tilting in confusion as the habits that he’s adapted to himself. 

He feels the need to explain himself because now Jin’s looking at him all weird and he doesn’t want that, cracking his knuckles as he clears his throat. “Nothing. I was just uh, used to seeing Y/N and-”

“But you’re physically and technically unable to have a routine because you’re not bound to any type of responsibility like what a human does, though,” Seokjin counters, eyebrows raising as he wants to know how Namjoon was gonna crawl out of this one.

“I can always learn, you know.”

The attitude is back and the sheepishness is gone, making Jin shrug carelessly for a second and leave him at the kitchen before the realization crosses his mind. “You didn’t correct me.”

“What?” he looks as shocked he is, trying to discern if he’s just given himself away.

“You didn’t correct me that it should be a schedule, not a routine... huh. Weird. So you literally did develop a routine.”

That’s shocking news to him too, eyes widening before he blinks the curiosity away swiftly.

“Don’t look at me like that! It’s not love; it’s concern,” Namjoon quips, but it became even more weird because Jin didn’t even mention the L-word. The topic was on him, an android, developing a routine and not about love itself. “I find you annoying, but I would be concerned if I haven’t seen you for a whole day too.”

That’s weird.

Seokjin shrugs his shoulders too casually, Namjoon himself not believing that he managed to fool the guy either but it’s the next words that makes the gears in his head grind.

“Oh okay, alright. If that’s the case, I just sent Y/N home because she’s down with a fever.”

The silence between the two of them is unnerving and Jin is completely okay with moving on with it because he thinks he’s just lost, but the panicked yells that come next make him think otherwise.

”You idiot! Why would you send Y/N home if she’s feeling unwell, when I’m right here?! Do you realize that I could nurse her back to health and wouldn’t be even sick in doing so? Seokjin, are you out of your mind?!”

It’s the mini meltdown that defies every expectation and theory Jin has in his mind, and it’s also what earns him a harsh tug to his arm to go get the car ready.

They find themselves bombarding your house at record time and it’s all clear to whose idea that originated from, making your head pound even harsher while you lay bundled in bed.

“You don’t have to do this, Namjoon. I called off the project.”

He purses his lips at the reminder, dimples popping out that your head spins at the rare appearance.

Namjoon places his hand on your forehead for the third time within three minutes, making notes in his head and already calculating what he needs to do so you’d feel better.

“Yeah, I know.”

Something about him just aches seeing you in a state that is anything less of what you should be in, but this time, he just entertains the sinking feeling in his heart instead of shying away from it the past twenty days.

“I just wanted to take care of you.”

[cronagorgonzola]

Hey I like ur stuff and I know you dont mean any harm by it, but i noticed you reblogged from turing-tested and I wanted to share this doc about him so you know the stuff hes done. You dont have to post this, I just thought u'd want to know docs google com/document/d/1LGLFgPwHx6jOjIYfq9Ej2k2NuRYgBJ2wARMmAvnWQr0/edit?usp=drivesdk (I'm not sure if I can send links so the spaces are where periods go)

I’m on a break at work rn so I only have time to skim that but I’ve seen that callout (afaik) and similar before, and he’s addressed them, and tbh I believe him when he says it’s based on misunderstanding. I’ve followed him for a while and he’s been open both about the shit he’s been through and things he’s done/said/believed in the past, and having come from a not quite the same but similar-ish background I feel like I can see a pretty clear line of how this information came to be skewed this way. As for the abuse and age-faking allegations, he’s straight up denied those, and I’m also inclined to believe him on that. I don’t really have time rn to go through my reasoning on everything but if you want to hear his side, he’s talked a lot about it and I think has a tag for it (probably ‘#callpost outbot’ I think?)

Anyway, I appreciate your intentions, and I do wanna say in most cases like this I do usually side with the person who has been hurt, it’s just that I’ve seen both sides of this argument already and as far as I can tell Hal doesn’t bullshit. If new information or more definitive proof comes to light I’m definitely open to changing my mind, I don’t like to be stuck in my views if they can be proven wrong, but that’s where I stand for now.

[starship-imzadi]

S2 E9 The Measure of a Man

The very first game of poker! There are a number of arguments as to why Riker should never win poker against Geordi, Troi, or Data. They each have individual capabilities that could easily gice them an advantage (vision, empathy, and computing respectively). I agree these are valid, but I like that off the bat the show starts to look at idiosyncratic disadvantages as well. (We don't actually know if Geordi can see through the cards or not.)

These chairs look like taller versions of the chairs in ten-forward. I can just imagine Riker trying to step over one.

This adversarial flirting with Picard makes me really uncomfortable.

(Oh f***. I didn't realise Bruce Maddox was in TNG...I didn't do a full rewatch before watching Picard; this makes so much more sense.)

The different admiral costume looks more like the starship uniform

I really like this shot with the noticeable reflection in the conference table and the space station in the background. It's a very visually engaging composition.

Seeing Picard defend Data is fabulous, both because Patrick is a great actor and Picard is a very likeable, noble character. It's also fabulous because seeing Picard support Data this passionately really starts to show the personal loyalties and relationships the crew has.

Maddox seems to regard Data as amazing enough to want to study but unimportant enough to risk destroying. It's a very delicate line to walk.

"I shall miss you Geordi" I'm less attentive to Geordi and Data as a pairing but I feel like the is the first overt acknowledgement of their friendship. It almost felt like Geordi wanted to hug him.

When Riker says Data is his friend it makes me think of their first interaction on the holodeck when Riker said "you're going to be an interesting companion, Mr. Data." It establishes the change from Riker first meeting him, regarding him as interesting, to his now regarding Data as personally valuable.

This episode is not only about rallying behind Data, recognising Data's personal value to each of the crew (highlighting what he means to them when they're faced with losing him) but it also gives the crew a "them" to rally against. Defining "us" against "them" or "the other" is a substantial means of establishing mutual bonds of loyalty, of family or belonging.

I wonder what that is Riker is drinking. I think it looks like a chai tea latte....

I frequently have to remind myself that iPads, touchscreens, voice activated computers, and all similar technologies were advanced concept in the 1980's. I remember a time before they were everyday, but that everyday has been long enough it takes me a second to desensitize myself and marvel at their imaginative and ambitious nature.

I have mixed feelings about Webster's Dictionary still existing in the 24th century. I much prefer the OED.

When Riker cradles Data's hand/forearm so carefully, in addition to his apology for taking it in the first place, the tenderness makes it obvious Riker cares about him. Before I commented that I was reminded of Data and Riker's first meeting but now Riker makes a specific reference to it, either for his benefit or the viewer's; or both. (only he and Data were present for the original conversation). "Pinocchio is broken. Its strings have been cut." The way he says it is so brusque almost loathing, towards what he has done, not Data's existence. In his very first conversation with Data he calls him Pinocchio as a joke.

Did the entire crew know about Tasha and Data? From Picard and Riker's reaction, they seem to have known. Picard already knows because he prompts Data to reveal it. Riker doesn't exhibit any surprise, in fact his response is one of avoidance, like shame, as if he knew and regrets that, even against his will, he is a cause of Data having to reveal this secret.

As much as I criticised the use of Tasha, and Data, in "The Naked Time" I appreciate that the interaction is viewed retrospectively with reverence. For Data it is an important, meaningful, and significant event not just because of physical intimacy but because it was such a personal and, most importantly, human experience.

There are larger ramifications to this episode that only feel partially realised. It's probably for the sake of time, but there's a lot of debate that could be had about sentience, free will, and rights. It does feel kind of late in the show to begin wondering if Data ought to be treated like all other individuals deemed "self aware". It even harkens back to "Elementary, Dear Data" when Pulaski brought up questions akin to the Turing test. Even as AI has developed the contemporary query has changed: what happens if AI can, pass the Turing test, convince us it is sentient even if it isn't?

Picard's ending argument doesn't really address whether Data is sentient any more than Riker did in proving Data is a machine. Instead Picard effectively asks "can we live with ourselves if we we risk enslaving a race that might be sentient?"

I really love Riker and Data's exchange at the end.

"That action injured you and saved me. I will not forget it."

"you're a wise man, my friend"

"not yet, sir. But with your help, I am learning"