#i'm constantly broke nowadays

[joostsblog]

im sending this ask to myself as a reminder for this fic idea i just had: joost friends to lovers trope inspired by fallingforyou by the 1975!!! "I read between the lines and touched your leg again" "I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck" aaaaaaaahhhh!!!

hello joostsblog you read my mind you know me so well its scary

fallingforyou ~ joost klein one shot

My masterlist here ✨💌

Pairing: Joost Klein x female!reader

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: You know im a sucker for friends to lovers 👀

Warnings: not proofread

There were times when you were uncertain of Joost's feelings for you and there were times you were very certain.

Like when he would gently tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear while you were talking. The touch would feel so intimate yet mundane. After all the strand dangling in front of your eye had been bothering you.

Or when he would lift you up so you could catch a look at the artist on stage when you were doomed to standing at the very back of the pit. Or when he would get you a drink after you finished rambling about your shit day at your job. In those moments you wondered whether you were the only one that secretly wished that touches lingered longer and lips would inch closer.

Then there were the times when his hugs definitely felt distanced in the way a platonic hug should be. Or when he would tell you how fit he thought that brunette across the bar was and you would tell him about your latest failed tinder date. In those moments you were certain you were just a friend to him.

You had known each other since you were 19 and you'd grown together. You had just started uni in Amsterdam and Joost's music career was slowly taking off. He'd call you in between lectures to convince you to come out to one of his gigs in the evening even though you needed to study. In the end, you would almost always show up. Even if it meant biking half an hour to get there with your uni bag still slung across your body.

When you were 23 and just finished your bachelor's degree, Joost was able to move into a bigger apartment. You vividly remember the day you turned in your final assignment and went to Jumbo to buy some supermarket flowers and a bottle of wine. You biked to Joost's new apartment where he greeted you with your favourite chocolate and a banner hung across his living room congratulating you on graduating uni.

Nowadays Joost constantly nags you and says he misses those days when you were still unemployed, when you didn't spend 5 days of your week at work. "I don't miss it," you would laugh and remember those uncertain times when you didn't know how to make rent and whether you would ever get a job. Joost would always help you out, buy you food or even cover rent, no matter how sternly you protested.

Your friends would tell you to get together already. That you were made for each other. But every few years you watched the other person get into a relationship while the other one was just healing from a tough break-up. Fate never really seemed to align with the two of you. So after a few years you didn't even think of the possibility of the two of you getting with each other realistically. That didn't mean you stopped wishing for it. Joost was your everything, you loved him - more than as just a friend.

The days had gotten shorter, the weather rainier and even you had admitted that sweaters were more appropriate to wear than

t-shirts. It was Friday evening and you tried to break the news to Joost that you would be going home already.

"No, (Y/N), please stay," Joost whined and you laughed.

"I'm sorry, I can't," you said. "I'm so tired." You had come to your favourite bar straight after work to meet Joost and some of your other friends. "I need to just lay on my couch and do nothing until I fall asleep now," you insisted.

Joost pouted. "I miss you," he said and your heart broke at the sight of his sad face. "I miss hanging out with you constantly," Joost lightly touched your elbow. Uncertain.

"I know," you said empathetically. "Me too," you put your hand ontop of Joost's to comfort him. "Do you wanna come with me? We can lay on the couch together until I fall asleep," you suggested before you could even think about it too much. His eyes lit up.

"Of course."

You unlocked your apartment door before you both stepped in.

"I haven't been here in forever," Joost remarked and you agreed as you took off your coat.

"Oh," you said as your coat button got caught up in Joost's belt which forced you two to step closer to each other. You laughed and felt your heart suddenly beat faster. Joost took advantage of the moment and wrapped his arms around you to engulf you in a comforting hug. Uncertain.

You laughed on the couch as you tried to pick a shitty reality tv show on Netflix to watch while you knew that you would end up talking over it the whole way through anyways. You watched Joost's face as he told you about his most recent song he finished and all you could think to yourself was, how you wanted nothing more right now than to lean over to him and kiss his neck as if it was the most natural thing in the world. As if you had done it a thousand times already. But what if you did? Would that be so bad? What was the worst thing that could happen?

After all, there were those moments when you were uncertain. Those moments that could mean that Joost wanted the same thing from you. The meanings between the lines which you could interpret correctly.

So the nonchalant touch to his knee maybe wasn't so daring after all. The touch that made Joost stop in his words just for a millisecond before he continued with his story with just a hint of a shy smile on his face.

The touch that lingered on his leg even after you removed your hand again. The touch that made him move closer to you when Joost wondered whether he understood your gesture correctly.

You lifted up the blanket so Joost could cuddle up beside you. Both of your words only whispers now that you were so close. Joost's bare arm was touching against the wool of your jumper and you wished the fabric wasn't a barrier between you in this moment.

"How is it that we never were single at the same time until now?" Joost asked and you laughed.

"I know right," you agreed. "And now I work a full-time job and we can't even enjoy being single together," you joked.

"Well, what if I don't want to be single?" Joost asked.

"Are you on dating apps again?" you asked earnestly.

"No."

"Well, you're not really trying then," you stated.

"I am," Joost said and looked at you with an unreadable expression.

"What's that supposed to mean?" you asked nervously.

"I don't know," Joost said before looking away.

"I don't wanna be single too," you sighed. "I miss the romance."

"Yeah?" Joost asked.

"Yes, like having someone cook your favourite meal for you with roses on the diner table and a massage while watching my favourite movie or something," you said.

"I can do those things," Joost said.

"Well, of course you can," you laughed. "But you'd be missing the romance element," you reminded him.

"Ouch," Joost said. "If you think you could never fall in love with me you could tell me in a nicer way, you know."

"That's not what I meant," you said and dreaded saying what you were about to say. "I mean the other way around. You wouldn't be romantically interested in me."

Joost paused.

"How would you know that?" he asked.

You paused.

Were you reading between the lines? Was there something there in his words? An unspoken implication he expected you to take up on?

"I don't know," you said quietly. It was the truth. You didn't know. You didn't know you were just a friend to Joost or whether there was something more.

"Well, you would know if I leaned in to kiss you," Joost whispered, his voice almost cracking. "And I would know if you leaned in to kiss me," he continued and your heart started beating faster than it already did.

Certain.

You leaned in to close the small distance left between you and Joost. His hand reached up to cup your cheek before your lips eventually met in a passionate kiss. His lips tasted so sweet against yours, like they were made to be pressed against yours. His fingertips felt so tender against your cheek. The frame of his dorky glasses ever so slightly bumped against your nose as you both deepened the kiss, desperate to feel each other after years of longing for a moment like this. After you pulled back you saw a happy grin on Joost's face mirroring yours.

"I've been falling for you for such a long time."

[kai-anderson-whore]

Why’d you only call me when you’re high? (Warren lipka x fem reader)

Summary: after warren broke up with you, he couldn’t stand being away from you leaving him to drown his sorrows by getting drunk and high and by your doorstep.

Warnings: breakup, drugs, alcohol, calling and texting an ex, crying, mentioning of vomit but not being sick, humiliating, turning up at ex’s house late at night

Word count: 2,3k

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•.

It all started around three months ago, you laid in your boyfriends bed watching movies with your boyfriend of a little over a year. It felt nice to relax in each other's presence instead of biting each other's heads off, constantly arguing about the smallest of things.

You laid on warrens chest feeling his chest raise and fall. Warrens mind was elsewhere probably high he felt tense underneath your frame. Puzzled you looked up at him through your lashes offering a smile. "You okay babe?". Warren snapped out his trance looking at you his eyes held all sorts of emotions doubt, uncertainty, regret, heartache. "Yeah I'm fine" he tried to shrug you off.

"Come on warren something is bothering you, talk to me" your voice was reassuring that he can talk to you about anything. Warren pondered in his thoughts he knew what he was going to say would destroy you.

"I'm just thinking about us" he sighed your smile dropped hearing the tone in his voice. "What about us?" You asked feeling anxiety creeping into you. "I don't think it's working anymore we argue all the time" warren stated. The tears rimmed your eyes threatening to spill.

"Yeah but couples have arguments we manage to get through them warren" you pleaded as the salty tears cascaded down your cheeks. "Come on y/n we try to get through them in fact we don't we sweep them under the rug I think it's best if you just go" he sighed.

You felt your break more with each second that passed. You got out of the bed your eyes puffy and red from the crying. "So that it we're over then" you scoffed. "You always bitch at me for getting high and going out with my friends" warren argued.

"That's because when your out getting high you get yourself into deep shit warren, what sort of girlfriend would I be if I didn't care" you pointed out before leaving the house making sure to slam the door behind you.

....

Warren sat in his car a spliff dangling between his fingers, his mind raced thinking of you like it always did nowadays. He looked at himself in the rear view mirror, he looked exhausted, bags under his eyes like he hadn't slept in days. But he didn't care he just wanted to see you.

Before warren knew it he had his phone in his hand, his thumb hovering over your number. Giving in he clicked call placing his phone to his ear waiting on your answer.

...

You laid in bed tossing and turning trying to get to sleep but it was no use. You had been like this for days, weeks even ever since warren broke up with you. You missed him but all he did was call you when he was drunk or high which you didn't have the time for.

Your phone sang it's ringtone, you knew what this meant you looked at your phone seeing it was 1:30AM, letting out a sigh warren's number showing on the screen swiping your thumb to decline the call.

You contemplated on switching your phone off but you needed the alarm on so you could get up in a few hours. You turned back around trying to get back to sleep but your phone kept getting notifications after notifications all from your ex boyfriend.

Warren:

' hey are you awake?'

'Why no answer?'

'Come on y/n answer'

'Please babe'

You let out a frustrated groan all you wanted to do was sleep but as per usual you couldn't. You started to text on your phone, you had enough of warren texting and calling you late it night like you broke it off with him. You just wanted to move on from him.

You:

'Warren I'm trying to sleep what do you want?'

Warren:

'I need to see you please y/n'

You:

'No warren, I've got be up in the morning I'm trying to have an early night'

Warren:

'Boring come on y/n'

You:

'Why do you only call me when your high?'

'I'm fed up with it now leave me alone'

You then switched your phone off not caring about the fact you needed an alarm to get up for work. You just needed some sleep. Soon enough you were asleep not thinking about warren anymore.

....

Warren knew he should have left you alone end of the day he broke up with you. He regretted it but he was too stubborn to admit to it that's why he drowned his sorrows with weed and alcohol trying to forget you but it only made him want you more.

Days went by since he called you warren now found himself in a bar incredibly drunk. The bartender refused to serve him anymore, warren turned to leave but he could have sworn he saw you leaving the bar holding on to your heels. Warren scrunched his eyes but you were gone.

Maybe he was dreaming that he saw you, deciding to call it a night warren left the bar. He staggered among the crowd of bodies finding the exit of the bar. The fresh air hit him like a truck his drunken state worsted. His sight blurred as he pulled out his cellphone trying to find your number.

Warren:

'R u up?''

Warren walked down the street waiting on your reply, but it never came. Warren instead called you repeatedly.

Warren:

'Come on y/n answer'

'Y/n please answer me I'm sorry'

He kept texting you repeatedly not even realising that he was bumping into people in the street. "Watch it" a buff man snarled, warren shrugged him off all his attention on his phone ringing you once again.

He turned his head, seeing you in a random shop with another man. Warren stood there rubbing his eyes but you were gone. 'What the fuck?' Warren thought deciding that he should go see you stumbling around the pavement.

...

You laid in bed trying to get back to sleep once again warren kept blowing your phone up, hundreds of missed calls and unread texts. You had enough of him you knew he would only call you drunk or high cause he didn't want to spend the night alone, well he should have thought about that before he broke it off with you.

You switched your cellphone off knowing of warren tried to call you it would go straight to voicemail. Once again drifting off into sleep.

You had just drifted into slumber only to be woken by your front door knocking. Confused and concerned you shrugged into your nightgown away to see who was there.

You hoped and prayed that it wasn't who you thought it was. "Y/n open up" a slurred voice called out through the letterbox. You groaned contemplating if you should just leave him there and don't answer, but you knew warren wouldn't move from your door plus you would be worried if he would be safe.

With a frustrated sigh you opened your front door revealing a rather intoxicated warren lipka, he could barely stand straight his eyes droopy with the alcohol. "What do you want warren" you snapped your eyes barely even open too tired to deal with his nonsense.

"I came to see you" warren slurred leaning against the wall that surrounded your front door. "I gathered that but what for?" You questioned further, your arms folded across your chest. "I- I missed you so much why haven't you answered my calls?" He asked his eyes threatening to spill tears.

"Warren I'm not doing this who are you with?, where's Spencer?" You sighed looking around to see if Spencer was lurking around somewhere but no one was there. "It's just me please y/n I need you".

You sighed again for the hundredth time tonight deciding it was best to take him in till he's sobered up. "Come in" you said helping your ex into your home. His legs could barely carry him along as you assisted him to your living room.

Warren slumped down on the couch, you went to get a glass of water and a bucket to sober him up. "Where you in the bar tonight?" Warren spoke up, his eyes still threatened to let his tears fall. "No warren I've been here all day" you answered rubbing your temple. "Just go to sleep, there's a bucket there incase your sick I'm going back to bed" you stated. Warrens eyes shot open not wanting to escape your presence.

"What please don't go y/n" he pleads, "warren it's late I want to sleep" you slightly snapped. That was it for warren the tears finally fell down his cheeks. You felt bad that he was crying, something he rarely did in all the time you had known him. "What's wrong?" You asked in a more softer tone.

"You hate me don't you" your heart breaks hearing warren say such a thing. "Of course i don't hate you warren look we'll talk in the morning but for now just sleep sober up" you pleaded. Warren nodded his head letting you go to bed.

...

The next day you were exhausted, you could barely get to sleep once you left warren. Worried incase something happened to him. You sluggishly made your way downstairs your eyes barely even open. Warren was still asleep on your couch as you made your way over to the kitchen to make some coffee.

Grabbing a mug from the cupboard, you made a fresh pot of coffee not bothering with milk or sugar, hoping it would do the trick to wake you up. You sat on the stool by the kitchen island waiting on your coffee to cool down a little before taking a sip.

You heard tired footsteps entering your kitchen to reveal a very hungover warren. He looked dreadful his face pale, bags underneath his eyes like he hadn't slept in weeks. "Morning" he mumbles embarrassed to see you with a disappointed look on your face. "Morning" you mumbled back.

The silence that then filled the room making you both feel awkward. You hadn't seen each other since he broke it off with you. "Look y/n I'm sorry for coming over that late and in that state I really am you didn't need to deal with that" warren broke the silence, scratching the back of his neck.

"Look I am pissed you turned up in that state and the constant calls and text when your high, but it's in the past now just please don't go wandering off when your in that state warren" you sighed.

Warren felt his heart flutter at the fact you still cared about his wellbeing even though he was an asshole. "I promise, I didn't do anything embarrassing or wrong did I when I came in?" He then asked already knowing what the answer would be only thing was that he couldn't remember what happened.

"You didn't do anything wrong, you said you wanted to see me and thought I was at the bar last night, you started crying thinking I hated you" you explained seeing warren flinch remembering what happened. "Again I'm so sorry" he said.

"Can I ask something?" Warren nodded his head at you question. You pondered if asking would be ideal in this moment but you genuinely wanted to know why. "Why do you only call me when your high?" You asked fiddling with the rim of your coffee cup. "Well to be completely honest with you- I just miss you and I regret breaking it off with you I'm too stubborn to admit it sober so I drowned myself with booze and weed I kick myself in the morning knowing I keep on texting and calling you"

You didn't say anything just nodding your head taking in his answer. "I do miss you a lot and I do want you back it was stupid of me to break it off with you, I just hope one day we can mend what I broke" warren added. You missed him terribly sure you both had your flaws and argue a lot but you managed to get through it together in the past.

"I miss you too, it killed me when we broke up took me ages to even try to get over it then the calls and text started sent me right back to square one" you stated folding your arms across your chest. "It was really stupid of me" warren hung his head in shame you just hummed in agreement.

"We weren't perfect, god knows I wasn't but I'm willing to give you another chance but it will take a bit of time warren maybe we just rushed into everything too fast" you spoke up. Warren now making eye contact with you, a glimmer of hope seeping through his brown eyes.

"Really you would give me another chance? After what I did" disbelief and a hint of joy lingered in his voice. You nodded your head biting your lip. "I love you warren even after causing me sleepless nights, breaking my heart that day after all that I still love you" you whispered wiping away your stray tears.

Warren gave you a sympathetic smile walking over to you, wrapping his arms around you as you cried into his chest. You took in the familiar scent of him weed mixed with his cologne something you missed all those months. "I love you too I wished I wasn't such an asshole but I promise this time I'll make it right I'll be better" he whispered placing a kiss on the top of your head.

"I promise to be better too" you sighed pulling away from him, wiping the last of your tears away.

[inkly-heart]

So...,

inkly, I just found out something bizarre and it became an accidental sleuthin' on my part. Because of that, I have, A LOT of questions playing in my mind more than ever. I still haven't gone through all of the content but this is what I got so far

P.S (I'm sorry if I ask too much, please do not be intimidated by the number of questions I'm gonna send soon, you can ignore them or take your time to answer them. I'm doing this in case I forgot, so please tell me to stop if you are overwhelmed. I'll be out of your hair after I asked all of them if you let me.)

Now,

Since I found you around the year of 2022, I'm pretty sure you have oodles of OC content before 2022 (veteran 2020/2021 followers can vouch me for that) that has been lost in time.

BUT

I accidentally found some and here is my first finding :

Damon and Venni are housemates/roommates

Damon has a crush on/likes Venni.

Venni likes/loves Angel

Venni has experience dating with Angel once

Venni and Angel broke up because Angel doesn't like to be in a relationship.

Venni is heartbroken.

Venni knows that Damon likes him but he 'rejected' Damon.

Hence, why DG dislike Venni.

Then Venni is introduced to Catherine (somehow)

Angel (doesn't like?) Catherine.

My first question is :

If your answer is yes, then I proceed to my next question :

Since all of these characters belonged to Br<3ken Colors, does all of this information takes place in the game as well?

If yes,

How does it play and when did it happened in the timeline of the Br<3ken Colors game? Does it happened a few months before the game takes place? Or maybe a year before the MC is introduced in the picture?

My third (or maybe fourth) question is :

Does Damon still like Venni during the time in Br<3ken Colors game? Does he still like Venni after he met and fell in love with MC?

My fourth (or fifth) question is :

Does Damon still lives with Venni in the game? If so, why did he stayed? Does he resent Venni in some way?

My last question is :

How come DG doesn't kill Venni? Or if he did, how many times did he attempt to kill Venni?

If your answer to the first question is NO, please ignore all the other questions.

Thank you.

Yours truly,

Sleuthin' Red Blob

The things what happened between these guys I have decided to change it because I didn't like the "story" anymore between them long time now.

To keep the answer more simple and focus more on the new story I won't explain their old past since it's erased.🤔

Their new past-

-Angel and Venni became friends when they were still at school but one day Angel's parent's decided that Angel will be home schooled so they got separated and since her parents are very strict she couldn't really keep contact with Venni. Angel's parents are very picky who they talk with (if you're not rich/popular you're not worth it) so they wanted to make sure she won't hang out or talk with other Hueväri who they don't like.

But when Angel moved away and got more "control" of her own life she bumped into Venni one day where they then started to hang out again. (Angel's parents are still keeping contact to her, still causing her stress. They don't know all the things what she does nowadays)

-On Damon's part. He had crush on Angel but since she is very popular he never really got a chance to get close to her and tell her about his feelings so when the times passed he slowly began to lose the hope that he could ever be her boyfriend what eventually end up to giving up and moving on with his life. It was tough for him but it hurt even more not being able to reach to her. (not to mention he doesn't like being constantly jealous. Which happens a lot when he had to watch others fawning over Angel.)

(This also happened before Angel met Venni again so Damon didn't know about him. So DG doesn't have negative feelings towards Venni anymore either.)

[just-antithings]

CW mention of statutory rape.

Speaking from just personal experience about YA books giving teenage girls toxic views on romance/relationships (b/cuz yeah I haven't seen any studies either, though I haven't looked). I'm someone that read almost exclusively YA paranormal romance for maybe 4-5 years, back in my teens. And back then, a rumor broke out that one of the teachers had sex with a 10th grader. It was confirmed true a year later, when the teacher was investigated and fired. At the time? 15-year-old me (and many of my classmates) didn't see it a big deal. It wasn't until looking back years later I saw how fucked up that situation was.

However, I'm very sure my view at the time had nothing to do with the books I was reading. I'm very sure that instead, the view of teenage-me had been shaped by growing up hearing "Girls mature faster than boys" over and over. I remember constantly hearing from peers that myth that "the brain doesn't stop maturing until 25", except back then, I'm not sure from where, but it had gotten warped into the statement, "Girls' brains usually finish maturing at 18-20, but boys' brains can take almost 10 years longer to finish maturing," and this statement would get passed around my school as fact, and I guess just none of us thought to crosscheck it??

So I was constantly hearing from people I trusted the opinions of, "Since girls mature faster than boys, it only makes sense that they prefer to date older guys."

I'm pretty sure being told that from IRL people for most of my childhood/adolescence affected how I saw relationships a lot more than Pretty Little Liars or Twilight.

Like, I'm glad that there are more teens nowadays that realize that a teacher wanting to be with a student is inappropriate and harmful, but way too many of those same teens are blaming the wrong thing.

.

[humanmorph]

some more piecemeal pal48 posting. eclectic round 😁

To get it out of the way: terrible. horrible. horrid rolls. I was laughing AND went noooo!!!! out loud when Keith was like "Sorry, uhm, Eclectic dies here." as a reaction likeeee. BOTH times. the SAME dice? god.

I honestly didn't have many thoughts on the Delegate process before the reveal (only questions) (edit: some of which I do still have, like: how were dvines chosen to make elegates out of? Did fidelity choose? Was is a punishment of sorts or pure practicality about who would make the best delegates, whatever that means? I bet this would've been an audio log.) but it extremely tracks it's another Divine. I thought about the Pleroma Hypothesis (I am kind of constantly thinking about it when I think about Palisade. it's there in the back of my head) & how the reaction we got from Divines back in the fleet was mostly to die off to escape that fate. And I was gonna say, what do you do when even that stops being an option (Gumption : ( )? Make others into tools instead of become one yourself (except she also is in that easy a tool of empire). But I'll be real I am SO iffy on Divine Cycle timeline generally and then Palisade specifically to remember if that lines up. Fucked though! It's good! And. You know... I haven't really been too much like "Oh I wish they would've kept going" except I guess broadly I would just have listened to more Palisade. Because it's good. But now, specifically? I am mourning the Resident Evil sortie to the Garden of Fidelity we could've possibly gotten SO much. There could've been audio logs!!!! Thisbe could've been there with Integrity. Partial Palisade could've been there for real. Austin would've described the environment really beautifully. There would've surely been a plant monster to fight. And given it would've been Armour Astir... Could've Eclectic even swung as big as freeing all of the divines? Could there have been a horrible choice to make. ooooohhhh. ooohhhhhh (thinking about it) (sighing)

I also did like Keith being asked what Opposition looks like & he's like well I passed over it twice but fine & goes here's what it does when you look at it and it's an effect that's visually strange and hard to portay. Aphantasia king... (I do really love it btw I am kind of workshopping a drawing in my head, like I wonder if I /could/ portray that effectively? I'd like to try... but it's also getting stuck at the bit where I would have to draw/design the Divine. I didn't even imagine it as person-shaped at all but since Austin asked & Keith went yeah sure I'll go with it... But that's a shape not. Anything else T_T)

I have to say I was kind of crossing my fingers hoping for Eclectic to kill Fidelity somehow. Not that Divines are truly killable nowadays. I don't know. I couldn't tell you why I want this I think it's just because Future is out of reach. If I GET that golden ball

As for outcome I do kind of like the freed Divines just wrecking shit & it's interesting that they're in a way so similar to the Afflictions (don't care who/what they target, so deeply altered from who they were as Divines that they may not care?) but at the same time it is somewhat disappointing because what if they did. Something different. I don't even have a concrete idea because what happens does make sense to me!, it's just a vague feeling I have atm. Since they're on the map & an issue now though, I imagine there'll be more detail on that though. This is part of writing reactions as I'm listening along... this could come up 5 minutes after the point I stopped at... Alas. Similarly: what about Opposition specifically. It reached back when Eclectic was reaching out? If we both pull we can bring this thing down. & a window broke. I'm kind of gnashing my teeth about it like I truly wish So Bad this could've been explored in depth... Like even if it comes up again in the finale, it's just not an arc. And ik we already had an evil lab arc in Palisade (Delegate related, even. Well. That is what they went there for at least) but I just enjoy them. The PZN one is so good too truly horrible moment there when it's laid out what's going on! Haunting!!!! Honestly still gets me when I think about it, it's so good! Anyways. What about Divines who can't move on their own e.g. Righteousness? Did they just carry that briefcase out & take it with them? Because that could be actually very interesting re: August lol. I have to imagine this comes up again later because with the Divines wrecking shit August (left out of the mission on purpose) would've learned about what Eclectic did & probably have opinions about it. I also think this opens up some possibilities for Thisbe aswell, because Janine did say that the Delegates / their Divines were part of her goal ("mend the scattered shards of divinity").

done for now because i need to sleep but btw we still haven't gotten to the bit I accidentally skipped to and got extremely excited at hearing just a snippet of a sentence but the fact that it's probably in Clem's section is kind of worrying me. a lot actually. ooohh she's going to Win her scene I just know it... I am actually looking forward to it though. I mentioned before ever since the Tower game I've just been kind of along for the ride re: Clem and liking it sometimes more sometimes less but rn well. I am intrigued & I hope Art has a good time

[sector-i-closed]

Never Tell Me You Love Me

Merman!Yeosang x Reader ft, wizard Jongho

Warning: Angsty, cursing a few times

You returned yet again to the rendezvous point where you and the handsome merman that you had became acquainted with weeks earlier would meet up at.

The scene before you was picturesque and looked to be straight out of a travel brochure as a vacation hotspot.

Tropical fruit was fragrant in the air and partly was the result of the suntan lotion that you used to protect your skin from the sun's burning rays even as it began to sink towards the rippling ocean.

The salty air wafting from the ocean kept your head clear and reminded you that Yeosang was very much real even though you questioned it constantly.

Your hands lazily sifted through the grains of sand on the beach as the waves gently lapped at your feet. Recollections filtered through your mind of the first time that you met Yeosang.

It happened to be that you were scuba diving one day and was quite taken aback to find a partial humanoid figure tangled in a fisherman's net. He was the most beautiful being that you had ever seen even if it was dark beneath the abandoned boat.

You were in denial the entire time that you worked with the roughly wound ropes to free him, the creature having given up until he saw you and had frantically lashed his tail out at you out of instinct of self preservation.

Still you didn't let it deter you when you finally found the nails along the boat that prevented the net from freeing the handsome merman. He immediately swam out of the net, his tail undulating gracefully as he swam and further amazed you.

You swam after him curiously, though instantly taken aback when he turned and faced you. His hair flowed around his head in a hypnotizing manner that was no less than ethereal.

Suddenly it came to you that your tank would be running out of air soon, so you had to swim back to the surface and leave the merman behind who looked on after you with haunting dark eyes.

You were still lost in thought about how you met with him again and how over time he warmed up to you and was a true sunshine to be with, how he was named Yeosang, how he was so handsome and unrealistically muscular, his soft deep voice-

Your thoughts were chased away like a school of fleeing fish when Yeosang's head broke the surface of the water.

He was so godlike that it took your breath away, like a greek sculpture was staring directly at you in real life.

"Hi Sangie..." You breathe while playing with the wet sand beneath you.

"Hello flower~ I'm surprised that you still are interested in coming to see me~ A light day with scuba clients again~?" Yeosang smiled pleasantly as he stayed afloat, the gentle waves lapping at his defined torso and would have mesmerized you had you allowed yourself to stare as freely as you would have liked.

"Yeah, it's after the holiday season so work is kind of light. Scuba instructors aren't in high demand nowadays but it'll pick back up soon!" You smiled at the merman softly and lit up his eyes pleasantly.

"I can be your client!" Yeosang chuckled softly and you giggle at his response.

"You already know how to swim!" You point out.

Yeosang huffed quietly and continued to stay afloat.

A long moment of silence passed as he watched you while your eyes were focused on the sunset. A pang of longing struck his heart as he watched you.

He couldn't sit beside you nor could he go with you wherever he went and it saddened him deeply.His heart became heavy as he watched you, wishing that he didn't have to return to the lonely depths of the ocean again.

'If only I had legs' Yeosang sighed in despair.

"Are you okay, Sangie? You look worried..." You trail off with a concerned tone that made him blush. You somehow knew when he was feeling down.

"Oh it's nothing. Just a lovely day with you~" Yeosang replied with a shy smile that caused butterflies to well up in your chest.

Suddenly a thought startled him and his entire face lit up.

"What are you thinking about, Sangie?" You were ever so intrigued by the wide array of moods that were displayed by the beauty before you.

"Oh it's just something that I need to do as quickly as possible! I'll see you soon Y/N!" Yeosang submerged himself in the water with a splash and swam away quickly.

You looked on from where you were on the shoreline in befuddlement. It hurt a little that he had to go, and you wondered if Yeosang had a date with another mer person.

Yeosang swam on through the deepest and darkest part of the ocean, angler fish occasionally lighting the way ahead of him and leading a trail to the dark wizard of the ocean.

Yeosang had in passing heard about the mysterious wizard that was referred to as Jongho. Having remembered that he could grant wishes that came with a price.

The merman was sure that he could find the currency to pay the wizard somehow. Yeosang gasped in terror when something many times his size rushed at him, soulless black eyes that belonged to the dreaded squid had him hyperventilating as he swam on frantically.

Something entangled him as he attempted to escape and he screamed out in pain as sea anemones stung at his skin.

"Who dares to interfere with my flowers, get out, get out!" A long figure swam up to Yeosang, taking a look at the crying merman and prying him loose from his sea anemones.

Yeosang looked through tears at the strong featured male, the black robe flowing down his form made him come to the conclusion that this must be the dark wizard.

"Are you... Jongho?" Yeosang asked hoarsely as the other figures carried him into an impossibly darker cave. It felt as if his skin was on fire still from the stings of the sea anemone.

"I am." Jongho replied shortly, his voice softer than it was earlier.

"Where are you taking me?" Yeosang asked as fear jolted his heart fast forward.

"I'm taking you to get healed. Stop flailing." Jongho commanded and Yeosang briefly succumbed, but his mind still raced.

Yeosang didn't feel afraid once he filled his gills and inhaled deeply, scarcely aware of when the wizard laid him down on a flat rock. He looked about his surroundings and noted the cave walls were like black marble.

Angler fish eeriely illuminating the interior dimly and the merman could barely make out Jongho rummaging about in a chest and bringing out some potions for Yeosang.

He groaned lowly at the bitter taste of the elixir that slid down his throat while Jongho cradled his head in his lap. Nearly unwittingly spitting it into the dark wizards face.

"You should be more careful." Jongho clicked his tongue and Yeosang glared at him.

"You should try having something you didn't ask for squeezed down your throat." Yeosang huffed and shuffled away from the wizard.

"I'm not the one who got hurt." Jongho retorted pointedly."Still, the point stands..." Yeosang trailed off and sat with his back to the wizard.

Sulking because of the circumstances that embarrassed him when he initially came to ask to be able to walk on land.

"Why are you here, princess?" Jongho smirks at Yeosang's back, swimming up alongside the nervous male.

"I came... to ask for something..." Yeosang starts hesitantly and turns to look at Jongho with dark, earnest.

"Oh? What might that be? I can't possibly imagine what such a beautiful specimen as you could possibly want~" Jongho sang out as he swam in front of Yeosang and appraised him, making him shiver anxiously.

"I- I- well... I want to have legs like those creatures called humans have... I want to be with Y/N as much as I can..." Yeosang blushed at his own confession and Jongho only chuckled.

"So it's the usual case of a fairy tale dream~ I can make your dream happen, but there will be a price to pay..." The wizard rested his chin in the palm of his hand, a scheming look in his eyes that unnerved Yeosang but he held to his resolve.

"What's the price...?" He dared asked with a weak voice. Knowing already that there would be a price to pay but it still frightened him.

"Hmm in this case you can have your legs, but there will be a clause attached..." Jongho swam to a cabinet with shell drawers, pulling out a reed scroll and returning to Yeosang's side. He opened it and Yeosang shielded his eyes from the luminous light.

"I can't see that damned thing!" The merman huffed.

"Its not to be seen, it is a record of the clause. The clause here states that you may have your legs under the condition that your love interest does not fall in love with you. Should you fail to meet this condition hereby you will return to the ocean and so will your love, fulfilling servitude for the remainder of your days." Jongho rattles off while Yeosang continues to shield his eyes from the brightness. Struggling to keep up with the wizard's terminology.

"Do I have your voice signature to seal this deal?" Jongho asked softly as Yeosang looked on in befuddlement.

"That defeats the whole purpose of why I want to be with Y/N..." Yeosang snapped, shrinking back when Jongho's darkening face draws near his own.

"Is it yes or no, princess? I don't have all day." Jongho began to roll the magical scroll up.

"Ah- yes yes I mean- yes I want to be with them..." Yeosang blurted out hastily.

"Good answer. I'd be hating for you to have to look back at this day wondering what would it have been like if you had said yes." Jongho gleefully rolled up the scroll and tossed it back in his drawer.

Yeosang woefully held his head in his hands, wondering just what had he done as the wizard began to swim circles around him.

"What are you doing?" He asked softly and Jongho chuckled in response, his hands making a rolling action and forming a large purple ball sparking and crackling with energy between his hands.

"I'm about to give you your legs, princess~" He laughed in a tone that bordered maniacal, raising Yeosang's hackles immediately and furthermore causing him to question his decision.

Without warning Jongho threw the ball at Yeosang, knocking him out cold.

~~~~~

Yeosang awoke with a start, finding himself lying on a bed. He saw sunlight filtering through a window and the sounds of birds singing soothed his pounding head.

"You're awake." Your voice startled him and he felt the sudden urge to look down at the foot of the bed. He gasped to see that instead of his tail he had two feet and two legs.

By now you had came over to his side of the bed, your expression unreadable."How did I get here?" Yeosang asked in a low voice that was filled with worry.

"I found you washed up on the beach this morning... I don't know what happened or what to believe but I'm glad you're alright. I brought you to my place for now since I don't know where you'll be staying." You brush the hair away from his face and gazed down at him, finding the way he fit into your pjs adorable.

He looked up at you with worry, and you furrowed your brows at him in concern.

"You're looking at me as if I'm about to die... What's wrong Sangie?" You coo softly and bring anger surging within him. The anger not being directed at you but anger at this curse that he now was under.

"N-nothing, I just need to adjust." Yeosang stammered out softly.

"Ah yes, my bad." You smile at him and further increased his anger. He loved you so much, but you shouldn't reciprocate it. You stood up and stumbled, alarming Yeosang and he jumped out of bed to assist you.

"I'm okay, geesh I must be clumsy..."

You sigh softly and sit on the edge of the bed. You weren't sure why it felt as if there was now a wall between you and Yeosang now. And it pained your entire body in an unusual way.

"I should go and try to find a job... I can't explain what happened... I just need to stay away for awhile..." He stood up in a determined, wobbly whirlwind and left you alone with questions. Why was it always like this?

You asked yourself that question a lot. Feeling the instinct to go out for a swim calling to you as your skin seemed to crawl and prickle.

A soft exhale escaped you as you dressed for going to the beach, looking at your front door and wishing that Yeosang would come back. Instead you would find a safe haven in the ocean.

~~~~~

"Fuck you Jongho!" Yeosang hissed at the vast ocean before him. Two months had passed and life among humans wasn't something that he felt that he could adjust to. Without you everything was meaningless and he felt like he was without air and water both.

He blamed himself for wanting more. When he felt that he should have been happy with just meeting you at the beach.

He trudged along the shoreline with his head down. His footprints in the wet sand reminding him of the times spent with you. Only for the impressions to be washed away in time.

"Sangie?" A familiar voice called out to him and he froze in his tracks when he saw you out in the water, swimming towards him. Instinctively he turned to flee but you called out to him again.

"Please don't go... I only want to talk with you..." You plead softly and hold out your hands to him.

He nods hesitantly, though unsure as to what he's agreeing to as he approaches you and walks into the water.

"I need to tell you something, Y/N..." He starts out and pauses when he sees your tired eyes light up.

"I need to tell you something also, its been on my mind a lot since I last saw you and I need to get it off my chest." You fidget with your hands as Yeosang draws closer.

"What is it?" He asks curiously, his head tilted reminding you of a puppy."It's that I l-" You gasp when Yeosang clasped his hand over your mouth.

"Never say that you love me. I don't want to hear those words." He spat out even as his heart broke to say it. Being all that he had ever wanted to hear you say but he couldn't afford for your life to be altered in a way beyond your control.

Your eyes grew wide as tears stung. You couldn't deny that you loved him even if he didn't want to hear it.

Neither of you were prepared for the purple light that enveloped the both of you. Knocking you and Yeosang unconscious.

~~~~

Your surroundings were unfamiliar when you came to. Lying at the bottom of the ocean and wondering why you hadn't drowned, until you looked down at where your lower limbs were supposed to be. Only to find a shimmery tail in the place of your legs.

This was really strange to say the least and you were pretty certain that you were dreaming at this rate. Yards away you saw Yeosang sitting with his back to you and sobbing bitterly.

Instinctively you swam up to him and put your arms around him.

"I don't know if this is a dream but it's going to be okay..." You were beyond confused but you were focused more on your worry for Yeosang.

"I tried to protect you, because I love you too..." He allows you to pull him close to comfort him.

"Shh... It's okay..." You rock him slowly in an effort to comfort him.

"How can it be okay when now you're bound to the ocean?! I caused this because I asked the dark wizard for legs and now look at you... I have caused you to be here without you having a say because of my curse." Yeosang recoiled but you continued to try to comfort him.

"My life has revolved around the ocean for the majority of my existence, this will be perfect..." You reassure him. Knowing that this came as something unexpected but you would get acclimated to it. You were sure of it.

Yeosang looked at you with doubt in his eyes, so you impulsively leaned in and kissed deeply. Your hands roaming across Yeosang's chest and shoulders softly and releasing the tension in his shoulders.

You broke away from him and he relaxed in your arms, his hair an angelic halo floating around his head that accentuated his naturally ethereal look.

"Let's see if my home is still down here, I don't think Jongho can find us there." He takes your hand and starts to swim away with you.

Thankfulness filled you as you thought about being able to finally be with Yeosang from here on out. Even if you weren't expecting the dark and mysterious figure looming before you and Yeosang.

"I'm here to collect what's mine."

[chxna-cheeseycake]

MCD Post-apocalyptic AU Idea

Hi I'm actually posting on here lol but anyways I'm bored rn and feel like ranting about an MCD AU idea I have cuz I don't have anybody to talk about MCD stuff with 💔 Be prepared for this post to be a bit lengthy as when I have an idea I wanna talk about, I'll just keep going on and on and nothing will stop me! So feel free to skip this if you don't like reading long stuff lol. Anywho, you can read my silly little thoughts about my silly little AU under the cut!

Anyways, my AU idea I had basically takes place in a modern day MCD (no not like Mystreet just strictly having the MCD characters in a modern day era). And this world is normal at first but one day an apocalypse pretty much happened as somehow several different types of portals opened, releasing all sorts of deadly creatures that reeked havoc on the population. This apocalypse was also pretty much started by both Shad and Irene but that can be a separate post for later as I put far too much detail into that lmao. However, Irene and Shad lie to their respective followers/supporters that they had nothing to do with this tragedy and put the blame on the other for it happening.

I chose Dante to be the main character of this AU because goddammit my boy deserves more love and if no one else will do it then I sure will. Anyways, Dante was 2 years old when the apocalypse happened so the poor kid just grew up in such a harsh environment. He never knew what it was like to not have to hide from vicious creatures and constantly scavenge for food. He also never knew his dad as his father, Donny (not canon name btw just something I personally use) died early on in the apocalypse in an attempt to save his family. Meaning that Maria was left to take care of 14 year old Gene and 2 year old Dante by herself during a disastrous apocalypse. But luckily... there was someone out there that was willing to take the poor woman in and help her out.

And this where I'll get into Shad and Irene's whole deal because I mean they're pretty important here. The Divine Warriors still exist in this world and are also still kind of treated like religious figures. However, I should make it clear that all of them are actually immortal gods instead of just technically being humans that hold a relic or whatever canon stated cuz I lowkey kinda forget some of the details of that. I should also make it clear that Irene and Aphmau are NOT the same person here. I decided to make Aphmau the demigod daughter of Irene cuz I thought that would work better with the AU. Aaron is also the demigod son of Shad because of their familial relationship in canon MCD. The Ro'Meaves are still descendants of Esmund but just like in canon their familial relation is more distant compared to Aaron and Aphmau's. And as for Travis and Enki... well they're related too but I can get more into that later.

Regardless, Shad and Irene seem to be the only Divine Warriors that are still around as the others have miraculously vanished for some reason. So most people nowadays only really acknowledge and worship Shad and Irene. Because of that when the apocalypse broke out, Shad and Irene formed their own respective factions that were compromised of their devoted followers. But these two would also go out of their way to save people that hadn't joined either faction and basically encourage said people to join them. The people would do this too as they felt as though they should be grateful that one of the Divine Warriors saved their life. Shad had pretty much done this with Maria so her and her boys became part of his faction and also started to worship him.

So Dante grew up in an environment where he was taught that Shad was a great man and would be the one to save everyone from this apocalypse. He was also taught that Irene and her faction were the enemy, that Irene was the sole cause of their world being destroyed. And Dante also viewed Shad as a father figure due to the fact that his bio dad died when he was too young to even remember him. Shad even comforted Dante after Maria unfortunately died when Dante was 9. Dante had always admired Shad and that admiration only grew after Shad made Gene his right hand man and one of the generals of Shad's army. Dante truly looked up to both his big brother and his father figure. He wanted to be just as great as them.

But then the main story begins and Dante's life does a complete turnaround. In the main story, Dante is now 12 while Gene is 24 and their life is just how it was before. Nothing strange. Nothing unusual. Gene would go about his duties as general, you know like go over battle strategies with the other generals such as Aaron. And when he had the time, he would check up on his little bro who was hanging out with the other child faction members. Dante would just stay in the designated area for the children until Gene was off duty and then the two brothers would eat dinner together, possibly do something fun too before they had to go to bed. This was their normal life.

However, Shad's lair gets attacked suddenly by Irene's army and everything starts going to shit. The civilians of the faction are panicking and screaming as they thoroughly believe that Irene has come to kill them all (she isn't but they don't know that due to Shad's influence). Gene goes into a panic too as he worries about Dante's safety. So he goes to find his little brother, completely ignoring Aaron's calls for him to come back. Gene makes it to the child area and thankfully finds Dante safe and sound. He then takes Dante and tries to rush and find a way out of the lair. For awhile they aren't seen by any of Irene's soldiers but it doesn't stay that way forever. As they round a corner, they hear the voices of two unknown men which definitely puts them on edge.

Gene tells Dante to stay where he is while Gene goes to investigate what's up ahead. Dante listens to his big bro, albeit hesitantly and watches as Gene slowly makes his way toward the voices. The voices belong to none other than Garroth and Laurance who quickly notice Gene's presence. The three get into a shouting match until weapons are pulled out and a scuffle occurs. This goes on for a bit until Laurance ends up landing a lethal attack on Gene, getting him right in the heart. Gene falls to the ground and Dante, who was watching the entire time, rushes to his brother's side not even caring that he would be caught by Irene's men. Garroth and Laurance are in shock as they weren't expecting this to happen.

With tears pouring down his face, Dante tries to save his big bro by pressing down on Gene's wound. He's desperate to do anything, something as he can't lose Gene too. Gene is the only family he has left after all. But Gene knows there's nothing to be done, he knows he's going to die soon. So with shaking hands, Gene takes off the skull necklace he always wore and hands it to Dante, telling his little bro that he loves him and to be strong for him. Gene takes his last breath, Dante sobs and Laurance feels nausea because he just killed a young boy's older brother right in front of him. Unsure of what to do next, Garroth and Laurance follow Irene's orders of taking any civilians with them so they could be "much safer" at Irene's lair. So they grab Dante who kicks and screams as he doesn't want to be separated from his brother. He especially doesn't want to go with the men that killed his brother.

But being only 12 years old, Dante couldn't really fight back against Garroth and Laurance so he was ultimately taken back to Irene's lair. At the lair, Dante was incredibly stubborn and refused to talk to anyone, didn't want to eat any food that was given to him, didn't want anything to do with the people that he was taught were the enemy. Aphmau would try to get through to him but Dante just ended up yelling at Aphmau that she and her people were monsters that took everything from him. Aphmau silently walks away with Dante's words echoing in her mind. Dante didn't want to be there anymore, he just wanted to be with his brother again. He wanted his old life back. So one day he does something no one expects, he runs away from Irene's lair. The kid has no idea where he's supposed to go now but he just keeps running until he knows that he's far away from Irene's domain.

He's in an alleyway when he hears a strange noise. He turns around and sees some type of creature. A deadly one with a raging hunger in its eyes, eyes that are looking right at Dante. The boy tries slowly walking backwards but ends up tripping and falling on the ground. The creature takes this as its opportunity to strike or it would have but its head gets instantly chopped off in what feels like a split second. Once the adrenaline wore off, Dante realized that there was a man that stood in front of him, holding a large ax and breathing heavily. The man turns around, looking at Dante before walking closer to the boy and outstretching a hand for him to take. Dante did so a little hesitantly, thanked the man and asked him who he was.

The man introduces himself as Zane and begins to scold/ask Dante why the hell he was out there by himself without any sort of adult by his side. Dante hesitates for a second, tears up a little and explains that his older brother had just been killed so he was now left without any family and had no idea where to go or what to do now. Zane softens a little after hearing that and proceeds to offer Dante to come with him to his hideout with his other friends so he can at least have a proper bed to sleep on for the night. Dante at first questions if he's part of Shad or Irene's faction but Zane scoffs at that and says that he and his group aren't part of either faction. They are their own group that gets referred to as The Outcasts by Shad and Irene. Dante finds it odd as he's never heard of The Outcasts before but ultimately decides to go with Zane as he does have no idea where to go now.

When Dante gets to the hideout of The Outcasts, he meets these other friends that Zane was talking about. These people being Janus, Ivy, Lillian, Michi, Travis and Vylad. Dante isn't sure what to think of them at first, he kind of finds some of them to be scary. But soon enough, Dante would learn through them that you can't always judge someone's personality by how they look. He also learns that what he was taught may not be as true as he originally thought. Because then he finally learns how exactly the world became what it is and has to accept the fact that he was possibly lied to his entire life.

Anyways, I think I will end it there for now because I have so much I could keep going on and on about but I don't want to make this too long, you know? But because I care this AU very much I'll most definitely talk about this in the future.

[almost-born-in-1893]

So... Have you heard about this hottie?

This is Lady Caroline lamb, who is best known for making this goofball

sound actually attractive and not just like a dumb frat bro when she described him as "mad, bad and dangerous to know".

Oh, this is Lord Byron btw. An idiot playboy who was constantly broke because of his excessive lifestyle as a gambling, drinking and home-wrecking whore. Of course nowadays he's just known as a "poet", because God forbid aristocratic white men ever face any degradation in their status for their own actions.

Anyway, "Caro" as Byron called her, was also his mistress while being married herself and did some crazy shit to get his attention after he moved on to his next conquest, like sending him some of her pubes, threatening to kill herself with a broken whine glass at a party and also breaking into his home and writing "remember me" in one of his books.

To which he responded with a poem of course (why be an adult about it if you can do angsty shit like make rhymes).

"Remember thee! Remember thee!; Till Lethe quench life's burning stream; Remorse and shame shall cling to thee, And haunt thee like a feverish dream! Remember thee! Ay, doubt it not. Thy husband too shall think of thee! By neither shalt thou be forgot, Thou false to him, thou fiend to me!"

Sure, dude, it's not like you knew she was married. As if you had a problem with that, but go off I guess...

So, what's the point of this story? I don't really have one. Both of them seem like dumb-asses, but we just love gawking at the affairs and scandals of rich, hot people, don't we, folks?

I'm just enamoured with the more human side of history and this certainly is some shit we'd see from celebs today. It brings earlier times a little closer and even though I don't really care for celebrity drama today for some reason I eat up stories like this when it's aristoracy in Regency England. Must be my Jane Austen mind virus.

[bellmo15-blog]

Normally I don't enjoy doing super serious vents on fictional characters because well, they are just that. Fictional. They don't exist in real life and I usually don't find it worth getting super upset over them, especially if they are characters like Micha from Red Dead Redemption 2 who are written to be hated anyway. But I'm sorry, I will never understand how anyone in there right minds can say that they genuinely like both Stella from Helluva Boss and Odellia from Owl House. They are abusive, manipulative and toxic parents that have little to no redeeming qualities to them at all and my reasons for hating them as much as I do hitting way to close to home for me.

On one hand you got Stella who is in an arranged marriage with a man she doesn't even like but still goes though with it anyway because "money", actively makes fun of Stolas to her friends sometimes in front of him, doesn't even seem to care about there daughter Octavia compared to Stolas who cares deeply about there daughter and is willing to put up with Stella's bullshit just so Octavia can have a chance at a happy life, act's very controlling over the two, has admitted to Stolas she's hired a hitman to try and kill him and has openly admitted the only reason she hangs around him is because she enjoys tormenting him.

And then you got Odellia who's just as controlling over her own daughter Amity, made her daughter break off her friendship with Willow despite the two being very close friends all just because they didn't approve, also didn't approve of her daughters relationship to Luz even going as far as to get her, Willow and Gus expelled from school, tried killing Luz at a public show case of her newest abominations and while I haven't seen the newest episode yet because I've been busy with a bunch of other stuff I wouldn't be surprised if she shows up in that and gives me another reason to want to punch something.

Look I'm sorry for getting really heated over this but I wasn't kidding when I said before that these two hit way to close to home for me because I've had to deal with TWO toxic members of my family in my life and still have to deal with even as a 26 year old. My farther who's an angry ape of a man who yells when things don't go his way, get's mad at me for standing up for myself despite also telling me to stand up for myself once, constantly lies about the reason why my mother divorced him, never beloved that I had autism despite getting a professional to confirm it for us, has in the past emotionally manipulated me to try to convince me to see him any time I didn't want to see him and when I once fell over and broke some of my bones as a child and was screaming in pain loud enough for him to hear me he instead called my mother to come and get me to take me to hospital instead of doing it himself because "he was busy."

Then my step mother who came into my life five years after that divorce, is massively controlling over me despite me not being her real son, judges everything I do and anything I like to the point where nowadays I don't even come out about any of the things I like anymore, blamed me for an accident that happened to my farther when it was something I had no control over nor was I anywhere near him when it happened, took my phone away and read my personal notes, constantly probes me for information about what I do when I'm not with them, has regularly called me gay just because I never had a girlfriend growing up, never had much interest in getting one and still don't, actively makes fun of me and when I confront either of them about my issues with them both they never bothered to improve or try and understand me instead opting to make me feel like I'M the one in the wrong meaning that any issues with my personality and social life can be traced back to them!

So seeing characters like these two in any media I watch and even one of these two being defended by the fandom despite being the one in the wrong pisses me of. I think you can guess who I had the displeasure of seeing this weekend two from me finally deciding to come out about all this. I'm sorry, I've just had this building up inside me for so long and wanted to vent about it.

[nukenai]

I'm in a bunch of mustang groups on fb and people are constantly rehoming which is fine. But it's like every single ad is like

Up for reassignment, need BLM approved application (which means they haven't had the horse for over a year to title them). Horse is green (2 rides under saddle) but is gentled. 2 years old. $4,000

Like. I can't. No horse for sale is over 5 and they're all barely trained and not titled and people want fuckin 4 grand for them it's insane 😂

Bananas what people charge for horses nowadays. Doesn't matter to be bc I surely don't need more horses, but I look at what I paid for my girls. Rogue was sold to me as halter broke and gentle but not broke to ride... and not for thousands of dollars. Almost like the price of a horse should sort of reflect the level of training they have and if they aren't trained to be ridden you shouldn't expect MULTIPLE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS for them especially if it's a mustang you've put less than a year of work into! Bc you haven't had them for a year bc they're not titled!!!

I mean rogue wasn't titled either but that was out of neglect and incompetence and also wasn't disclosed to me so. You know. We're a very special circumstance 😂

[milfantichrist]

you will never know just how much you hurt me.

i'm afraid of you. i don't trust you.

you sunk your teeth deep enough for me to cough out the nightmares that keep replaying in my head. you forced me to tell you things i never wanted anyone to know.

and then you used them as ammunition. you made me relive it all. while you were sitting there getting aroused. you're cruel.

i'm not in love with you anymore.

i love you, i always will. i will always want to see you succeed and be happy and healthy.

but i fell out of love with you the second you told me you enjoyed seeing me this hurt.

i was ready to give you the world and you broke me.

i feel like every word from you has been a lie. "i miss you", "i love you", "i'll marry you". it never meant anything to you, did it? or that song you kept sending me - "my beloved, my eyes search for you". just empty words strung up like christmas lights.

all of that sweet talking about our future together, it was all a ploy to get me to open up more so you could crush me. you said it yourself once: "i'm into something more fucked up, like breaking you".

and i had to apologize? i had to comfort you? i had to swallow it all and pretend everything was fine so you wouldn't feel bad?

you never asked me if i was okay, not then, not now. even after everything i've been going through these past months.

i'm constantly checking in, trying to see if you're okay, forcing myself to talk to you. just to get nothing back.

you don't give a single fuck about me, you don't care enough to even bring yourself to ask how i'm doing.

that's not the you i know.

i'm so scared to tell you anything nowadays because somehow you might weaponize my words against me.

i'm sick of bending over backwards to cater to you and i feel so disgusting. so vile and repulsive because that's what i've been doing for three months now. you made me do things i never EVER wanted to do, you lied to my face over and over again. and still, i forgave you for everything.

i wanted to move forward. even after i spent half a week showering 5 times every day and scrubbing every surface of the entire house because of how filthy you made me feel. i wanted to move forward. even after the countless sleepless nights while i was preparing for my exams, shaking and sobbing alone in my room. i wanted to move forward. even after skipping so many meals i started fainting again. i wanted to move forward.

and you know what the fucked up part is, i'm too kind of a person, i'm too sweet, i'm too understanding. and i want to help you get out of there, to help you start building a new life. even after everything.

in my goodbye letter i never said any of this and i should have. i was so sweet to you in it. omitting all the venom, all the disappointment, the hurt, the pain. just so /you/ could feel better.

it's crazy how i was willing to break myself for you.

it's crazy how i thought you were any different. you're not. you had to make it known that you're just a man. and that's just what you do.

i thought you loved me but if you had, you would have never caused me this much pain.

when all i wanted was to know you were alright, when all i wanted was to love you. when all i wanted was to understand you. i even bought a course so i could learn your native language. i carried your name next to the most special people in my life on the back of my phone case, so i could have you close everywhere i went.

i made sure i was always there for you, only a couple of minutes away, never ignoring you or leaving you on delivered, always picking up when you called even if i didn't want to talk. i was texting you minutes before i went into surgery and the second i was coherent enough to form sentences after i woke up from the anesthesia. and for what? for more lies.

you'll never read this. but i hope one day you change. for your own sake. all this hatred and cowardice will ruin you.

you wanted to know what i have been manifesting lately. well here it is:

for you to always be okay and to heal from everything that is making you this way. to have a wonderful life. and to never hurt anyone ever again. that includes yourself.

i hope one day you can break the cycle of your father. i hope one day you can take accountability for your actions and not hide behind your coward excuses.

goodbye.

[1358456]

Distractions

That Scarlet image from before is oddly entertaining, and gives me quite the distraction from what I'm doing recently.

... Which is getting all achievements in Yakuza 8. And that game is constantly throwing devastating emotional haymakers. "I was always the one who rushed in without a second thought, so I thought I would be the one to die first. And yet here I am now, tending to what little remains of them." In terms of emotional damage, it's like... haymaker after haymaker, then a quick comic relief, then another haymaker to the face. I run into a restaurant for a funny party banter, and I get an emotional stab in the back in that very restaurant, because surprise, pain is everywhere.

... Quite the accurate thumbnails. Kasuga meets his mother for the first time and hey, reunion! Meanwhile for Kiryu... "If I meet up with Haruka now, what then? I'll be gone from her life again soon. She'll have to watch me die a second time. Some good that'll do." ... Ow, my heart. Maybe this just hits me particularly hard because... bucket list.

So...

This is very appreciated. Especially Scarlet's face here. I don't know why I find her expression so amusing. But I love it. The look of "you are not worth talking to". How old are Scarlet and Violet here? They were in school uniform, weren't they? Hmm... I guess most everyone are 11 or 12 in the start of their arcs, so maybe that applies to Scarlet and Violet too.

I think I mentioned that I am in a Pokemon mood nowadays. Half of Yakuza 8 takes place on Hawaii so there are a ton of stuff there that reminds me of Sun/Moon in particular. Gee, I wonder why. And all the Sujimon stuff... no wonder I'm in a Pokemon mood. And I don't mind that at all, hence the Generation VIII and IX Pokemon nicknames, Crystal version run, new short, etc.

Maybe another short or short story is in order. Make a distraction myself. Maybe a sad one, if I keep getting emotionally punched in the face. Something that fits the two new song additions/replacements (77: Sub Sad 1, 78: Sub Sad 3), that have whopping 10 games' worth of feels crammed in them. Or maybe a fun and cute one. And maybe around tomorrow I'll take a look at the new regional form Pokemon that I never got to before.

... I'm kind of rambling because the game broke me again today. ... Why do I keep watching those cutscenes when I know they're going to make me cry...

[icharchivist]

tbh I'm also not big on getting hugely into a fandom, because some people have bad takes or focus on different things than the ones you like and that's fair but it's less fun. This is fun. It's a curated corner of us talking about aspects of the game that we like and I enjoy the vibe a lot more. That's why I keep coming back to bully you <3

yeaaaah definitely agreed on that.

Honestly for what it's worth i've been actually actively avoiding fandoms for years now. (which is... why my tagging system is Like That. Once upon a time Tumblr actually made it so that since it's not straight up tagged, say, "gbf", it wouldn't have ended up in the tags. But nowadays the system is fully replaced by the search system instead and i'm too lazy to rethink my system, so whoever finds me: i'm sorry, i was there before tumblr broke my measures to stay an hermit)

Like i got into one fandom that had like... constant flows of negativity, some that were interesting and important takes, some that were in bad faith, but constantly one or the other with never, ever, a single positive thought, that it made me feel incredibly nauseous and i started to genuinely shut down after that. (especially since the one media in question got me out of a really bad depressive slump, so this felt like Another Level Of Bad.) I've genuinely avoided going into tags of things i like on here, i rarely follow blogs of things i like anymore, i'm just... like, i'm just tired yaknow.

(i also did the mistake of like... i used to follow blogs for "underrated characters" mostly to keep them in my radar even if they weren't my fav, but the amount of "huh if you like x instead of underrated you're sOOO WRONG" and it's like. dude. please. i'm trying here.)

in the end it's just no longer fun if it just feels like homeworks.

and i say that as someone who adores analysis and, like, i have negative opinions about stuff too!!! but ultimately i just prefer to think about it with myself rather than airing it all yaknow.

I'm avoiding big fandoms like the plague at least. I've been more opened to discuss mobage on here because the community is much more niche, but good lord anything bigger than that are stuff i'm avoiding big time. Not letting yourself being drown in this echo and all.

Anyway it honestly makes me very happy that despite all of this, from how you might feel about fandoms or even me trying to keep a low profile, we still managed to build a little community on here that seems to be legit having fun? I do think we tend to mostly just enjoy things there, there's a couple of times we complained about some elements of the game but i think (?) we mostly kept it leveled in a way that didn't just remove the fun of it all.

tbh this is also why i'm *terrified* of Relink coming out. It feels so cozy now but i'm so scared lmao

but for what it's worth, i'm staying on my little corner here -- and all of you are more than welcome to join me in it. And i'm glad to see you guys are coming back this often <333 it's really sweet. thank u guys.

[koolkon08]

I am a "high functioning" autistic adult, although the level system was introduced after my dx, I am quite obviously considered level 1 after reviewing the basics.

And I agree with OP 100%

I struggle with a lot of things, from sensory issues to basic self care.

I hold a full-time job, but am constantly on the verge of being fired due to my emotional disregulation and need for clear instruction being mistaken for "Back Talk" its likely that I will need to find a new employer or try for disability to survive (which I likely will not receive as I'm "only" level one).

I have very few people I can call friends, and even fewer that I actually believe call me theirs. And all of them either live with me, or are part of a club/organization that forces us to see eachother.

And ohh boy do I have violent meltdowns! As a kid I broke someone's ear during one, and as a teenager I had to be pulled off my brother so I didn't break his leg (My 5 year younger "Baby" brother, who I practically raised and NEVER wish to harm!), nowadays its more self-destructive but I still have them even though I am almost 30!

As you can tell, my language skills are pretty dang good! Unless I'm overwhelmed. If I'm anxious or angry or in an intimate situation I become almost entirely non-verbal, and NOT by choice. When I'm excited I get loud and often make sounds instead of words. So even though speech is one of my "Good" stats I STILL have issues with it.

Everyone who is on the spectrum is on it for a REASON. If we didn't have our own struggles, it wouldn't be labeled a disability. We'd just be eccentric.

level 1 autism don’t mean no support need

don’t mean no struggle

don’t mean all can hold job can live independently (some level 1 can do that but not able do doesn’ automatically mean not level 1)

don’t mean have friend

don’t mean no violent meltdowns

don’t mean speech not hard

nothing wrong with be level 1.

(am not level 1. but yeah)

[serafiel-jacobs]

Dress For Success (Fanfic)

New chapter from my main series 🩷

When Pinocchio had come to her to ask for help looking for a dress, Antonia simply couldn't say no to him, she is an expert in such matters; when you are a woman of high class it's only natural to know how to wear for each occasion, her wardrobe is filled with a huge collection, from day to day, to formal events, semi-formal, casual hangouts, for each season of the year, and a different dress for each wedding she has ever attended, she specially treasures the one she wore to Geppetto's wedding, it was a beautiful lavender dress but not too beautiful, you can't outshine the bride at her wedding after all.

In the first shop they entered, Pinocchio wanted to try the first dress he found, however, there was a problem:

His legion arm.

The dress ripped away when Pinocchio tried to put it in his sleeve, her sweet boy was crying because he broke it and it was an expensive one, but she reassured him that there was no problem and paid for it, nothing her budget wouldn't be able to handle, and when her dresses get too old she likes to use them to make them into new ones, or use the fabric to make new clothes, so this dress wouldn't be a waste, she would see what she can do with it.

They wandered around looking at the other shops, they hadn't been walking for long but Pinocchio constantly asked her if she was okay, Antonia smiled, he is so kind and caring and she couldn't deny that she gets tired more easily nowadays, but she kept saying that she was fine, although it seemed like Pinocchio didn't believe her.

“You were sick before and you couldn't walk, I'm still worried that you feel sick” Pinocchio had managed to save his mother despite all odds, but he still remembered those times, and how her body would get weaker and weaker, the disease slowly affecting her body.

“My sweet boy don't worry, I'm completely fine” It was hard when she had to do physical therapy to be able to walk properly again, and for some time, walking was very painful but she is a strong woman, with her will she managed to overcome it, “Besides, I get more tired due to my age rather than because I feel ill, being an older lady is can be tough”

“I don't think being 64 makes you old,” Pinocchio said.

Antonia was stunned by the comment.

“Pinocchio my dear… how do you know I’m 64?” She had never said her age out loud to him, sure, maybe Pinocchio had a right to know but it was her choice to tell her age. Although as a woman the older you get, the harder it is to say your age out loud.

“My father told me,” Pinocchio said with a not-so-innocent smile on his face.

Oh, Giuseppe Geppetto I am going to kill you.

“My sweet boy, I know you meant well, but it’s not polite to say a lady’s age out loud”

“Sorry” Pinocchio still had that smile on his face and Gemini rolled his eyes, that brat.

“Well let’s keep going looking for a nice dress for you” It looks like the task was going to be slightly harder thanks to his legion arm.

A white dress simply wouldn’t do, with how hard they are to maintain, and considering how Pinocchio is, the dress would be ruined in a day.

That also means she needs to find him something with good fabric, with her dear boy it’s not a matter of if he would completely wet his clothes it’s a matter of when.

He already has that beautiful blue dress, so it’s better to grab another color, it also has to be something more easy to wear casually, although not too casually.

“What about that one?” Pinocchio said while pointing at a dress displayed in front of a store.

It was a pink bouffant dress, simple but beautiful, it also came with a lovely bow for the hair.

It was lovely and because of the lack of sleeves, it would be perfect for Pinocchio.

Pinocchio came out of the changing room and he looked so sweet, it was the perfect match, a few women in the store gave him looks but they could think whatever they wanted, what mattered was that he was happy.

“It looks great on you!” The shopkeeper said, it might have been her job to say that to all customers but Antonia could tell that she was being sincere this time. While paying, something caught Antonia's eyes, a red wrap dress, Antonia knew it would fit her perfectly without even having to try it, it's the years of experience that made her say that with confidence. Although wearing such dresses is considered scandalous, she is not planning to wear it in public, she wants to wear it in the privacy of her home.

She knows Polendina would love to see her wear it, even if her beloved would never say that out loud.

The shopkeeper caught her glazing at the dress, “Oh Lady Antonia I just know that it would look amazing on you, as everything you wear, planning something for a special somebody?” The woman had a smile on her face, Antonia liked her, she was quite charismatic, perhaps she should recommend this shop to others.

Others were looking at her again, but Antonia doesn't care what gossip might come out of this, some people have nothing better to do than to spread pointless rumors. So she buys the dress and has her mind set on promoting this small shop that this nice humble woman runs.

Pinocchio wanted to wear the dress right away, so he put his clothes in the shopping bag they gave him, they walked a little outside and decided to sit down for a little on a bench.

“You are so adorable” Antonia grabbed one of his cheeks and squeezed it, Pinocchio's face turned a slight shade of pink, he wasn't used to his mother being the one to embarrass him.

—

They return to Hotel Krat, Pinocchio waiting for his father to pick him up, he is looking at himself in a mirror, loving the way he looks.

“Son, did you have fun?” Geppetto had arrived and was glad to see that his son had a good time, but before he could say something else, Antonia spoke up.

“Geppetto, may I have a word with you?”

Geppetto was confused at her tone but he followed her to a separate room, Pinocchio now being left alone.

It was quiet for a few seconds until…

“WHY THE HELL DID YOU TELL HIM MY AGE?!”

Pinocchio had a grin on his face as he heard the conversation, his mother was mad, and his father kept apologizing to her.

“You are a huge brat you know that?” Gemini chirped, “This isn't good boy behavior”

“Shut up Gemini or I'll shake your cage” Pinocchio was having fun, he didn't want Gemini to ruin the mood.

“Antonia please calm down, Pinocchio was just trying to make you feel less old that's all”

“Less old?!”, That was the wrong thing to say because Antonia kept shouting at him and Geppetto was back to apologizing.

“I'm going to tell your father you planned this” Gemini was looking at Pinocchio with disappointment in his eyes.

“I have no idea what you are talking about” Pinocchio used his hands and made a heart with them, “I'm a good boy after all”

There was nothing Gemini could do, Pinocchio had played the innocent boy part too well, so the cricket resigned himself.

—--

Polendina was arranging the bed he and Antonia shared when he heard her footsteps he turned around to see her in the new dress she bought.

He was quiet, if he could blush, he would be blushing, Lady Antonia is beautiful as always and she does such things for him.

They sat down and started to chat, saying how their days had gone.

“I had to kick out a rude guest from the hotel lobby” Polendina had experience in such matters, it wasn't bothersome to him anymore but he found this situation amusing.

“Oh my, what happened?”

“There was no reservation in his name, they kept claiming that he knew you personally when I know he doesn't” Why do people constantly do that? No, you do not know the owner, Polendina knows every single acquaintance or friend that Lady Antonia is close with, “He was repeating do you know how I am over and over again, you should have seen his face when I told him that I did not know who he was”

Antonia let out a laugh, not her usual composed laugh, but a genuine laugh.

“What did he say?”

“He called me a stupid puppet and I had to call security when he started making threats” The scene attracted other guests by that point, and Lady Antonia has the best security for Hotel Krat, such behavior is not tolerated.

They kept talking, about their day and other things, Antonia felt so lucky to have Polendina by her side and Polendina felt lucky to have her by his side.

Polendina sometimes felt like it was all a dream, he couldn't believe that she had reciprocated his feelings, he felt like he wasn't good at this, about being in a relationship, he isn't one to express his emotions by talking, so he writes to her, he writes about how much he loves her, how the simplest of things reminds him of her.

It makes his day to see his beloved Lady Antonia read the things he writes her, the smile on her face.

A part of him had always felt insecure because he knows how he was made, he knows that sometime after Antonia's husband died she was looking for a puppet to help her with her house chores, as she had been too depressed to do them herself, she started to focus too much on her work, she lost her husband she was also mourning that she never got to have children with him since he died young; so she asked Geppetto for a favor, a custom puppet, one that had the Ergo of her husband.

But his beloved Antonia has always reassured him that she loves him for who he is, after learning of how her husband was, he agrees, that man was so outgoing, so full of spirit, too adventurous, she has told him how he would take her hiking just to enjoy nature. Polendina isn't like that, he is calm and reserved and he prefers to be indoors.

“Well my day was mostly fun” Antonia had a smile on her face.

“Mostly?”

Antonia takes a deep breath and explains but she quickly changes the subject after she is done she wants to talk about something else, about her day with Pinocchio and other things, they talk next to each other, both holding hands gently.

A moment when they can both say, how truly happy they are, the candle of their love too strong to dwindle.

---------------------

My art for this chapter 🩷

[the-eighth-story]

This is why everyone should indulge themselves with this owl! It’s little flappy wings wave by as you leave the theatre too #keepthesecrets