#i'm comfort character-ing i guess !!

[madefate]

hi welcome to me thinking too hard about a fictional character, blitz & ozzie's well, apparently all of season one now edition

i've been doing a pretty deliberate rewatch because it's really easy for me to jump the gun on things timeline wise & conflate where a character winds up, growth wise, with where they are at any given point in the timeline. & i want to do my characterization of blitz justice, of course, but i'm also just fascinated by why he acts the way he does, and boy oh boy is his character arc in season one almost entirely about loneliness.

( also, keep in mind that despite this taking place in hell, no characters actually act with malicious intent, & blitz is an unreliable narrator w/ communication issues ! no character bashing here, just examination. )

o1. murder family

we're introduced to the infamous deal ! which we know, we know, but some things to note that really inform blitz's mindset, and also just some interesting details:

stolas presents this transactionally. generously, sure, but transactionally, & blitz agrees to it transactionally. i will never call this coercion - it's just a deal with actually very clear terms.

the connotation of the whole arrangement, though, is a little condescending. that's kind of the nature of their relationship - blitz bitches at stolas, stolas patronizes blitz, and this feels like a familiar status quo. ( yes, personally i believe this is literally where the miscommunication starts, especially with the context of season two ! it feels obvious to me that this is stolas taking a page out of a romance novel & treating it like foreplay - it's just that blitz doesn't know that! )

the context of blitz talking over this deal while he's in mortal peril and doesn't know where his employees are, or if they're still alive, i think provides some reinforcement for his own feeling that he, himself, doesn't matter. it's easier to call this a business deal than actually communicate that the bad time is, like, imminent death of the people he's in charge of.

this episode establishes the entire season one pattern of stolas continuously referring to blitz as an imp, impish, a thing that's owned, or a thing in general - which does come up & isn't played entirely for laughs.

i think the dirty talking, though, is meant to be played for laughs, so we'll leave that as a joke.

the other major theme of this episode is moxxie's crisis about this being the murder of a mom and the destruction of a family - which is vitally important to BOTH his & blitz's characterizations and backgrounds.

& oh no, the boy is on fire. again. at least this time it doesn't hurt!

a very small moment that does grow: moxxie & millie have each other! they have someone who prioritizes them - which is played a little for laughs here, but we know that it canonically does bother blitz.

o2. loo loo land

DOES ANYONE LOVE YOU, BLITZO ??

hi there, first of two episodes in a row that are literally just bad memory after bad memory !

blitz makes it clear from the get go that he does not do bodyguard work. but, of course, he needs the money & wants the money and so, here he is! making bad choices for himself yet again. obviously, the bitching at / condescending to nature of his & stolas' relationship continues, & we get a few key nuggets of characterization:

blitz takes ❛ first shift ❜ watching stolas - and never actually tags M&M in at all. they only take over when the fire starts & blitz is having his trauma war with a fucking fizz bot, but otherwise he, importantly, tells them to have fun, and is actually seen taking his job super seriously - this comes up again in his flashback with fizz & his guarding of fizz during the mammon special ! so it's pretty clear that guarding someone is something he takes a lot more seriously than killing humans, which makes sense given everything he's been through.

i don't need to elaborate - facing a fizzbot is one of the worst things that could happen to him, ever. it's eclipsed only by seeing barbie, fizz himself, or confronting anything about his mother.

the question of does anyone love you ? and the eventual flip of it, do you love anyone ? is going to continue through the rest of the season

o3. spring broken

personally, i think verosika & blitz had the most toxic fucking relationship, and i don't think it was one sided. i wouldn't be surprised if there was more miscommunication here - i do believe that verosika had real feelings for blitz, that he did too, and that he self destructed the relationship when he realized that. but i also believe that verosika's apparent defense mechanism of being extremely flippant and dismissive hit blitz's buttons exactly.

his biggest fear, we see, is being rejected, and i think it was this unfortunate clash of neither of them letting their real feelings show, blitz feeling blown off, and then destroying the whole relationship when he was desperate for it to be over and the bridge to burn.

so, yeah, this fucking blows. this is contemptuous, and it's fairly obvious that verosika is taking the chance to rub salt in the wound with taking over his space - and he's throwing it right back by challenging her. which would probably be easier to deal with if he hasn't spent weeks basically having his negative self image reinforced at every turn.

which is why he latches so hard onto loona. it's very clear that loona is still working through her own abandonment trauma, and that blitz is usually fairly good about being affectionate and supportive while letting her lashing out roll off his back because FUCK does he understand that.

but he goes in way too hard with the protective thing - he's terrified of what could happen to her in the human world, and he doesn't have the greatest impression of romantic interests in general so he projects hard when he sees her start to fall for tex (something that he doesn't seem to worry about in later episodes, which makes this seem like an anomaly). but she's ALREADY dealing with the normal insecurity of having a crush and her own social anxiety.

so, of course, she blows up.

one of the MOST TELLING LINES in the entire series is "because i adopted you! that should mean something!" this, to me, is the thesis of how blitz interacts with the world: you're either a stranger or you're a family and there's no in between. that's the boundary crossing that happens with M&M all the time - that desperate need to be a family with them. that's what he has with loona: he clings to being her father, because it's, in his mind, the best thing he's done with his life. and of course he goes overboard, and of course loona lashes out, and of course so does he -

and it just, kind of never gets resolved.

but, he'll get over it. he always does.

o5. the harvest moon festival

that's STRIKER, sir!

i think this is, by far, the most interesting breakdown between stolas & blitz and it's so subtle. as a standalone, it really does seem like blitz is simply incredibly grumpy whenever stolas talks to him in wrath, but it's not that simple. looloo land may have been a public outing, but blitz was clearly and absolutely working. the harvest moon festival was posed as a social outing, and he's not on the job at all.

so when he reacts to the nickname blitzy, he's irritated at being condescended to in public when he's not being paid for it. to him, it feels more mocking and purposeful than it ever had, and it's clear that the only times the attention bothers him is when it's - to him - patronizing (even if it's just meant to be teasing!)

then, there's striker (sir). to my knowledge, striker is the first person who pays blitz any semblance of actual respect / admiration in the series, which is something that lights him up immediately. he may feel worthless most of the time, but he's proud of the business he built, and to be working with M&M - employing only imps and a hellhound, likely one of the few, if any, businesses in hell that actually does so - according to striker. what he did was rare and flies in the face of hell's socioeconomic hierarchy, and his mood is noticeably lifted the entire day.

he gets to do things he loves! he gets to play in the pain games, he has a good bonding moment with loona, he got to meet millie's family - fuck, he thought he was making, if not a friend, a work acquaintance - which is a big deal when we know he conflates work with family.

so when the betrayal hits? it hits HARD on EVERY LEVEL. blitz opened up to someone new for the first time ever on screen that we've seen - and striker attacked his employees and tried to kill his business partner. and thought that blitz would want to join him - so what does that say about blitz ? is he like that - he's certainly bitter, he's certainly been kicked around by society, he was charmed by a snake in the grass.

and striker's words don't go away, because, until this point in the series, he's not fucking wrong. the one who treats you like a plaything - is stolas genuinely just fucking around with him? is this all a game - he's so fucking flippant, so is their back and forth of bitching and patronizing not just ... their thing? is he being used ?

& then blitz lets him get away - fails to do his job when he has a weapon that can kill demon royalty in his possession, and blitz - failed.

o6. truth seekers

are you afraid to love people, blitzy ?

there's literally so much here in this episode that i'm speeding through a greatest hits, because we KNOW that we have canon confirmation that blitz pushes people and pushes them away until they prove him right and leave, thanks moxx:

even if blitz WASN'T coming off his failure with striker, he'd be just as protective of moxxie throughout this entire episode. he consistently shields moxxie, makes loona close the portal on them, and watches moxxie the entire time he's still knocked out. family is serious business.

uh oh ! the humans got them ! failed again - that twice in a row now, bud?

this is where those easter eggs of blitz third wheeling M&M comes in - that little truth gas outburst is such a major clue for just how lonely he is. he knows, logically, that he's taking it too far with them - that he's bitter and jealous, but he has no idea what to do with that because the only solution is, uh, letting someone in?? are you NUTS ??

his gas induced fight with moxxie DID hurt them both! both what he'd heard and what he'd revealed - blitz spends so much energy locking away his true feelings that it's like being raked over the coals to have them forcibly dredged up, against either of their wills.

okay, alright, the dream. i'm not even going to dissect it - i just think it's Neat™ that the ghosts that haunt him are his major failures: striker, the most recent; fizz, the oldest; verosika, freshly on his mind and direct contrast to stolas.

(a fun small thing that drives the knife in is blitz's aggravation with moxxie's intellectualism, rubbing the old wound of being seen as stupid or uneducated himself.)

i don't know! eventually everyone goes ! / 'cause you're thoughtless and cruel and you'll end up alone !

you're gonna die alone, blitzo !

you TRIED the solo act - it didn't work out so well / but you don't WANT to do things alone, blitzo

we see it spelled out: blitz is constantly fighting against that instinct to push everyone away, while always craving that closeness - love, someone to spend the rest of his life with. a family that stays. the fear that he will absolutely destroy them so better to fuck it up NOW and send them packing before he can really do some damage.

right now, the closest thing he has to consistent intimacy is stolas. it's stolas he runs to in order to escape the ghosts of his past - but when he realizes that, he needs a fucking leash to let himself crawl the rest of the way. he needs the illusion of no choice - fuck, even the illusion of someone wanting him badly enough to pull on the other end.

are you afraid to love people, blitzy?

absolutely yes. he's his own worst enemy - the only actual constant companion he has, and boy is he sick of himself.

blitz's brain: a currently on fire dumpster

we learn that blitz is capable of being more than physically available - he's been emotionally available for moxxie in the past, and he's emotionally available here, too. all it took was weeks of failure, hours of interrogation, and a REALLY bad trip.

honestly, by the time the girls show up, both of the dumbass twins are ready to just FUCK THESE HUMANS UP. it's been a long day, a long week, a long life, and why not just fall back into their core competencies.

you know my name. use it. thanks blitz. names are so, so humanizing. he just wants to know that his friend - his best friend, let's be real - is okay.

so ... the impish little plaything, huh. honestly, it wouldn't sit as badly if blitz hadn't just had the emotional whiplash of being captured by HUMANS of all stupid things, but then a moment of true competency with his team - and then back into the dread of failure, this time with millie and his daughter at risk, too.

breaking into the facility and getting them home seemed like child's play for stolas. in fact, he's a real demon, apparently. so, what does that make blitz?

exhausted. honestly, after they fuck that night, blitz passes the fuck out.

fuck, he hates needing help.

i also have a fun pet theory that One and Two have a recording of either the wonder twins' hallucinations, or them babbling about said hallucinations.

o7. ozzie's

ah yes, the culmination. he gave it all for a thrust, didn't he.

the sheer desperation of fucking following M&M on their goddamn anniversary. he's not even TRYING to self destruct that relationship - he's just endangering it out of abject loneliness and bitterness.

he's completely unreceptive to stolas' changed behavior - his seeming genuine interest in him, his dropping of all the patronizing and teasing, his actual happiness at being out together. that wall he's placed himself behind is practically impenetrable at this point - there's just been too much shit and they haven't talked enough at all, so there is no part of him that assumes that stolas' affection is in any way sincere.

so, he almost expects the rejection. isn't that exactly what moxxie said? you push people away until they leave - and it takes two to tango, here, of course, but that is the mindset he's in in the aftermath of ozzie's. even if it's unfair, or even if it's just confused or naive or hopeful, blitz thought - maybe, just maybe, he might have at least an ally in stolas.

instead, he got a menu. and blitz bitterly proved himself right.

so he can't see stolas' genuine attempts to reach out in the aftermath for what they are. he's not going to until he starts actually trying to take those walls down - opening himself up to the possibility of trusting someone else. fuck, trying to trust himself. right now, all he can do is look this kindness in the eye, call its bluff (the one he imagines exists), and drive away.

because, fuck, he's going to die alone, isn't he. and that's on him.

[yellowocaballero]

Omg hi Ms. Yellow Caballero big fan of your work <3 For real though, I'm really excited that your sharing the Weekenders, it was a joy to read and I'm bongocat-ing now that others also get the privilege to read it as well.

Referencing your tags, would you please elaborate of ableism in fandom and, like you said, how fandom treats characters with unpalatable disabilities?

Hi Ms. Bud Lite I'm a big fan of you <3

TL;DR A fear of writing characters of highly marginalized identities shields you from criticism and discomfort, but it's actively stigmatizing to people of these identities and as a writer you really need to get over yourself and write The Icky People.

I guess I'll come out swinging on this one and say that fandom doesn't like severe mental illness. (As a note, when I say severe mental illness (SMI) I mean illnesses such as psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, personality disorders, etc)

Obviously, nobody likes people w/SMI. It's just insanely egregious in fandom to me, since fanfic writers absolutely love writing characters or HC characters with depression, anxiety, or a specific variety of PTSD That Isn't Scary. People actively reject any character HCs for a SMI. When people write a character with SMI, they nicely downplay it, ignore it, substitute it for a disorder they like better, or rewrite it. It's completely untolerated, in both headcanons and in fanfiction, and every time I bring it up I always get the most interesting reasons why somebody couldn't possibly acknowledge a character's SMI in their writing. I've heard all of these:

"I don't know enough about the disorder to write it accurately." Do research.

"I'm not X, so I can't really depict it." You probably aren't a cis white man, but you depict those guys just fine.

"It feels insulting to the character." There is no shame in having a SMI.

"I can't understand what it's like, so it's better to be cautious and avoid giving characters stigmatized identities." There are LOTS of experiences that you'll never understand because you've never had them - you just don't want to write anything you're uncomfortable with. People with SMI make you uncomfortable, and you don't want to write anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or think of a comfort character in an uncomfortable way. SMIs are marginalized differently than solely depression/anxiety/The Nice PTSD, and by refusing to write them you're actively contributing to the stigma.

I think (?) I've spoken in the past about how I believe that the rigorous external and internal policing of writing people of marginalized identities is actively harmful towards efforts to increase diversity of experience and background in fiction. A lot of fanfiction writers are just terrified to write people who they can't directly relate with, because they're worried 'they'll get it wrong' and be Big Cancelled. I think this is negative enough when it prevents people from going outside of their comfort zone, but on a macro level I think this results in people refusing to write characters of marginalized identities as all. It's an insidious thought process, and it's reflected in people's unwillingness to diversity their writing or acknowledge canon diversity.

'Well, I don't understand what it's like to be Black, so I don't want to write Black people'. 'I want to project on this character, so I only want to write them with mental illnesses and identities I have'. 'If I write a marginalized character incorrectly people will yell at me, so I won't write a marginalized character who's marginalized differently than me at all'. Can you imagine writing a lesbian character with a boyfriend because 'you feel uncomfortable writing lesbian experiences'? It's blatantly homophobic. But people do that with disability and race/ethnicity ALL THE TIME.

People with SMI notice that you feel uncomfortable with them. It's obvious. They notice when a character has a SMI + anxiety, and you only write their anxiety. They notice when a character displays symptoms of a SMI in canon, but you write it out. And POC notice when the characters of color are written out. I know we all like to project on the blorbos and relate to them, and in the joys of your own head do whatever, but as a writer if you only stick to identities you're comfortable with you are actively being a worse writer. Which to me is the REAL sin lmfao.

[faejilly]

I have decided to be a gremlin again and cheat by using multiple emojis, so🍓🍄🌸

💜

You're not a gremlin IF I ASKED, silly (and even if you were, I like gremlins) 🥰

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

Dragon Age & Mass Effect

Slightly more specifically, I was on the old BioWare Message Boards 15 or so years ago, and ended up beta-ing for some Mass Effect people, and then also got into a Homebrew TTRPG set in Thedas before Dragon Age: Origins came out (well before there was an actual ruleset out there) in which I wrote backstory for my character

and then I just kept going?

Mostly to prompts and on the kinkmeme tbh

I am sad that kinkmemes are no longer an active part of fandom architecture. A lot of fic on there wasn't actually explicit or kink related, but it was anonymous and to someone else's prompt which made a lot of people comfortable with posting in a way I think they wouldn't have been with their own stuff in their own name. There was also enough bonkers kink and dark and crack fic prompts that it helped slow down the purity wank, because it was abundantly clear that moralizing anywhere near the kinkmeme was Bad Form and would only get you less fic and less fandom and some serious side-eye from the other users. I'll admit I got very tired of evil!Sebastian Vael prompts when da2 was active, but! I just didn't read those! Amazing how well that worked.

anyway! more questions

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

ohnojustone?!? uh. since it's you I should probably do Malec? I have so many headcanons, what haven't I talked about, hmmmmmm

Alec is a perfectly serviceable dancer. He doesn't dance with flair because that's not very him, but he can hold his own in a formal/ballroom equivalent (at Clave Parties Mostly) and he quite likes turning off his brain and falling into the beat at a club, though in that case he's usually very anti-social about it, mostly ignoring the crowd

dancing with Magnus specifically in any style is probably always foreplay and always will be, so that's always a little different

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

I HAVE FIVE let's see how many pics I can find without thinking about it too hard because I'm lazy

here are Tilly and Dizzy ensuring I didn't make the bed

and then Gizmo and Jade the other day, determined to make extra sure I didn't get up

which I guess means Tom is the only one who gets a good picture because he's the only one left and I had to go hunting for one rather than just grabbing the first thing I saw

[zstarzzz]

I just want to write a post compiling my thoughts and such about the shipping community. Feel free to and please do answer or correct me. So I feel like the definition of Poppytwt /💐twt /blr has become very scattered that I don't know what it actually means. The only people to ever give me a definition were the people who were anit-it. So of course they told me "it's some big bad horrible group of pedos." But of course the people of 💐disagree. So if you are part of 💐, can you tell me what your definition is? Same goes for Proship. Everyone hates proship, and tell me it means horrible things. So what do you think it means and stands for? More personal under the cut, sorry, it's long

I'm very conflicted because I have met people in these communities who are very different than me. These are small vague labels for large communities where people differ from one another. And because of that I've never felt like I belong.

I was writing fics about two 17yr-olds kissing, nothing nsfw, and people told me I was p0ppy. and at the time I was terrified of being p0ppy because I was told they were this bigbad (and at the time I was a minor and felt uncomfy with nsfw) Then I got older and I felt more comfortable with these nsfw stories, but I still felt I was different from other people. My stance and views on how I ship are, it's all fictional, so it's ok. No one in real life is getting hurt, so I should feel fine exploring and writing what I want. It is fictional. Even if I'm writing about real people (CC!S) I don't actually know them, so to me it's like I'm writing another character. I feel ok doing age difference and non-con, because it's fictional. And because I make sure people know in and with my story, that it is bad. These things are not ok in the real world, and with writing you as an author need to make sure people know it. Make sure it's clear that age-differences and non-con are awful things. And some differences I see between me and other people are, when I'm writing about the cc! I imagine them as art and characters. I don't imagine the CC! faces or bodies most times. I'm writing about the characters that I have gotten to know through reading and watching, not a real person. I don't truth that T0mmy and W1lbvr are actually dating. I don't look at images of them and sexualize them (I also just don't like nsfw images in general). I think another thing that sets me aside from other authors and readers, is that I put and picture myself in the victims shoes/place. I don't write something and be like "Oh I want to write about SA-ing a minor" or "oh I'm (charcater) who is sa-ing a minor" I am more "what if I was a minor and was getting SA-ed? How would I react? How would I cope and survive this horrible deed?" I don't know how to put it. I don't write pnsfw because it's fun, I write it to feel something, to explore feelings. And I don't actually ship minor x adult. I'm not like "Look at this baby and his father! we should ship that!" I'm like "what if there was a world where this father was so awful and groomed his child. that would be sad and awful." when I write shipping, pnsfw or not, I'm always "lets explore a dynamic." "what if in x world y happened." And with some of the stuff I write that's not nsfw, it's just like. Two teenagers. what if they kissed and had a crush. nothing wrong with that. But no, to the world, just because these characters are based on real people, it's problematic to ship them, I get grouped with p0ppy. People were afraid to ship c!beeduo even when the cc! where acting like they did in story. And now romantic c!beeduo is pretty much considered ok and such by most people. So what's wrong with my sfw origins!AlliumDuo ship fics? huh? I was never in these community spaces when the cc! were minors, I do think looking at a real person who is a minor, and sexualizing them when you are an adult, is weird. sexualize c!Tommy a character, but not a real person. But guess what, they aren't minors anymore, so what's wrong with writing stories about them? And again, I consider both c! and CC! to basically be characters. I don't sexualize cc!Tommy, I play with the idea of him, his persona. So yeah I don't know why other authors write what they write, how they view writing, but that's mine. And I feel pretty alone because I haven't found another person like me. I don't know if I'm p0ppy, or proship, maybe those terms have been overused, I just consider myself a problematic writer (and the only reason I say 'problematic' is because that's how society views it.) I'll also add lastly that I am on the aro/ace spectrum, so I feel weird when people are overly sexual. When someone is like "I wish I could fuck T0mm7" or even "I wish W1lbvr would fuck me!" I'm kinda just standing there like "what......?" I write to explore feelings, emotions, scenarios, and tragedy.

And I don't push my stuff on other people. I'm sorry if you don't like these communities. You are valid to dislike what you dislike. Especially if it hurt/triggered you or reminds you of hurt you've experienced. . But also, if it's not hurting people, then please don't tell them they are awful people. Don't send them death threats. Just ignore. I don't like DNI, but we all have them. and that's fair.

[delulu-with-wandanat]

Stupid question but how do you see Natasha? In the wandanat fandom, I think she's too much butchified, in her other saphhic ships like blackhill & peggynat, she's too femmefied. Personally, I see her as something else, more masc for sure. This forced dichotomy ultimatum really messes up fans characterisation of her, it isn't about what stereotypes they rely on or what vibes they get from her, they really mess up her personality traits, her psyche. In a lot of instances, they make her ooc,especially the ones that femmefy her, they princessify and babygirlify her too much, it really infuriates me, I also want to throw hands at those Blackhill & peggynat shippers especially the later ones bc I feel like their whole ship is based on this dynamic: femmefied Nat, the funny thing is the f/m version of this ship: romangers don't even femmefy this much. That woman is the love of my life, I want people to pay her due respect.

I actually really respect your immense love for her ngl. And to answer your question, I see Nat as... Idk how to describe it. But she's basically comfortable in anything really.

Lot more dominant, that's for sure. But in a case of fem or masc, I feel like she just neutral? I'm not sure how to describe it.

I never read any Peggynat or Blackhill so I wouldn't know abt her femmfy-ing thing XD

I guess that's the fun part abt fanfics, people have their own headcannon of how they perceive their fav characters. They could stay true to the characters nature, or completely turn them 180 degree change. However, that being said I think it's completely fine that you dislike it when she's femmefied too much. To each of their own right?

Me personally don't care too much? Cus if I read a fic and the character feels off, I just scroll away XD

[the-force-awakens]

Hey, Nym, are you okay? I'm so sorry someone was ableist with one of your (amazing) hcs 🥺 I'm here if you wanna talk about what happened. But no pressure ♡

I debated answering this one publicly. Debated answering this one at all. Because sure, for all my playful kvetching, my passionate rants about why the things I like are cool and people shouldn't be dicks about it, and my occasional relatable depression text post reblog, I don't get negative on here. It's kind of my thing, or at least I like to think it is. I love to think my brand on here is that weird, positive autistic girl who is completely obsessed with Poe Dameron, and I also like to think it's a well earned brand. You don't stay on this bullshit for three years if you're normal.

So yeah, debated answering it because I didn't want to post the honest answer, but honestly this is a shitty situation, and it's important, so I am: I'm not okay.

I won't go into details, because contrary to what some clowns may believe I don't vague post (oh, oops, guess I just did a little), or at least if I kind of do, it's usually vaguing behaviors I see spread across multiple parts of a fandom, but I will talk about what it's like to be disabled and in fandom. What it is like to be autistic and in fandom.

I'm on Tumblr because it's a space where I can have a little dragon hoard of my special interest. It's where I can infodump about it. It's a space where I don't have to mask (much). In 2020, I jumped feet first into a certain special interest because life was shit and it made me happy. For every shitty take, every negative opinion I was hit with, I threw out more positive creations. I wrote. I giffed. I meta-ed to my heart's content and I was so fucking happy.

Then it....became a thing. I don't mind, as previously mentioned, my brand being that girl weirdly obsessed with a fictional pilot who isn't that popular outside of his fanon ships from a trilogy that this website loathes with as many burning suns as I hate - I don't even know something I hate that much. Anyway, I didn't mind that. But suddenly I became a wikipedia search bar. And....for the first little while, I didn't mind. Because I got to infodump about him, and I don't get to infodump irl, and my friends had heard plenty. And besides, I liked helping people! I like pointing people in the right direction of things.

But like I said. It became a thing. People were comfortable dm-ing me questions, getting mad about the answers I had, and sending back their own headcanons to contradict them. I got praised a lot for....having a special interest and being passionate about that subject. It started to feel a little bit...weird. But then I started realizing that people mostly only talked to me when they needed information from me, and that felt. Awful. It made me feel used just a little bit, and I took a step back from fandom because of it and some other mental health issues I was having.

(apparently if you're autistic this means you're 'distant')

But I wanted to keep creating, because making stuff makes me happy, and I'm autistic and I want a space to be autistic, and don't always want to (I know it does not bother you, but still) bother my friends with it, because there's loads of other conversations to have.

Fandom is more isolated now, but I feel that more keenly as someone who is disabled and audhd. Characters I relate to are seen as villains and monsters in the fandom, or manipulators that pressure people into doing what they want, or arrogant assholes who really just need to be put in their place. I try my best to ignore it.

It's harder to ignore when a not-super popular headcanon you made out of comfort after dissing your abled a bit more and living through a fairly traumatic job experience (and ergo losing out on a job because no one believed you were disabled), gets taken and written in an explicitly ableist way that mimicks precisely the trauma you were seeking comfort from.

I don't know who fandom is for anymore, but it's certainly not for me.

[whoslaurapalmer]

lemony 🍋📝 for 4, 6, 21, & 24 !!

4) If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

hmmmm!!!! i'm not sure. oh wait okay okay so. so it's not that i want like, say, the series redone with muppets but lemony's like michael caine-ing his way through it as one of the only humans. it's that i want lemony in a muppet property. i want lemony with the muppets. i want lemony telling babybea stories but it gets acted out in a fantasy sequence with the muppets. i want the muppets meeting lemony. lemony and gonzo meet in the hardware store, or something. babybea meets the muppets and they help her find lemony

6) What’s something you have in common with this character?

APPARENTLY THE SIMILARITIES ARE ENDLESS we have a great appreciation for the written word and good food. i, too, would like to abscond into the woods. i have dramatic deadpanned my way through a conversation.

21) If you’re a fic writer and have written for this character, what’s your favorite thing to do when you’re writing for this character? What’s something you don’t like?

i really love writing his narration, it's just a lot of fun to get into!! like with bertrand, i don't think there's anything in lemony i dislike writing. he and bertrand BOTH come very easily, but lemony especially bc i've done a lot from his pov and spent many a long year rolling him around in my head, from childhood. it always feels weird to say this about someone else's character but lemony really is someone i feel incredibly comfortable and confident doing the character for, like i do know him and his motives and his wants inside and out, and his actions and narration never really cause me that many problems. HOWEVER sometimes writing him from someone else's pov can make him.........come out a little off, or something. if i'm not in his head it can be hard to get his dialogue to sound completely right to me.

24) What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

it's always coop!!!!! distinct way of speaking and looking at the world, doing their best and wow does it go super wrong. but i'm also gonna say this time that i really do see similarities to the doctor, too. which i also see for coop. i think the three of them have, at times, shades of jean renault saying to cooper, 'maybe you brought the nightmare with you' because they all arrive somewhere and something horrible happens and they're a part of it. i think lemony and the doctor especially can share some, grey morality, some sense of..........lemony acts outside of vfd's fragmentary plots bc he knows that isn't the way to take down hangfire. like i've said before he's a root of the problem person, but he still winds up orchestrating his own fragmentary plots to do it, and i think, the doctor can act, similarly. they can both be........narrators with very long personal histories other people get swept up in, and, well i guess "missing love interest who had desperately great personal meaning" is the broadest way i can get away with that similarity to the doctor...........

[tache-noire]

20 Questions for Writers

tagged by: @dilf-in-peril HI THANK YOU

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

43!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

84,772

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Pro wrestling, right now. AEW and probably ROH and WWE in the future.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I'm going from #2 onwards because #1 is a collection of stories that i have since re-uploaded separately, and the original collection is now hidden and inaccessible.

Ass-Kisser (Max Caster/MJF sloppy rimming+fucking in a hallway)

A Day In The Life Of A Dog (Play-by-play of House Of Black's activities on a show day, centered around Brody)

Welcome To The Business (Christian Cage+Luchasaurus/Nick Wayne noncon)

Daddy's Boys (The Acclaimed celebrate a win by DP-ing Billy Gunn)

Give Me Your Violence (Eddie Kingston/Jon Moxley rough sex)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to reply to every one, even if it's just "thank you!" or "I'm glad you liked it!"

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

How It Begins. I wasn't PLANNING on exploring Luchasaurus' psyche, but it happened anyway.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A Future With You is the sappiest thing i've ever written, by far. alpha4alpha husbands.....

8. Do you get hate on fics?

A looooooong time ago on a Dio Brando/Giorno Giovanna fic. I deleted it though.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

It's almost all i write. I tried to write actual plot once, but then i lost steam.

EDIT: I JUST REALIZED I SKIPPED PART 2 OF THE QUESTION

as for what kind i write, it's pure depraved kink, usually :) I have very few limits and they are eroding every day.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've never actually written one, but I have some ideas rattling around in my head about a Hannibal/Crimes Of The Future crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple, yes. I don't remember which ones, though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I really don't know. I love any combination of Samoa Joe, CM Punk, and MJF, and any combination of Christian Cage, Nick Wayne, and Luchasaurus. And I like Eddie Kingston/Jon Moxley.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'd really like to finish Tokeback Mountain someday, but for now it's labeled as discontinued. Evil Uno is surprisingly hard to write, and I'm eternally torn between including his shoot insecurities about his body and some mushy "noooo youre so sexy" shit, or keeping to kayfabe and having him be comfortable.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've gotten a couple comments mentioning characterization, so I guess I'm good at that. I think I write dialogue fairly well, too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Anything other than pure smut, i think. I have trouble putting breathing room between actions/scenes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Ehhhh. If it's gonna be entire sentences, I just don't do it. A couple words, maybe, but if a character's entire dialogue would have to be translated, I just keep it in english, italicize it, and leave a note that explains it. Like if I'm gonna write a fic about the Lucha Brothers and it's just them talking to each other, i'm going to write it in English, even though it should be assumed that they're speaking Spanish.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Silent Hill 2. You can still find my first fic on fanfiction.net if you really dig for it and somehow know it when you read it. My writing style changed drastically over the last 2 years though!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I'm torn between a couple. Right at this moment I'm gonna say Reversal, because it was a weird sort of breakthrough where I didn't just write a kink I've never written before and was even a little uncomfortable with, but I took it almost as far as I possibly could, and I ended up loving it.

tagging: TAGGING MAKES ME NERVOUS BECAUSE I AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME I'M ANNOYING. IF YOU WRITE AND YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT YOUR WRITING, PLEEEAAAAAASE DO

[panlight]

My question is a little fresh I guess but what do you think Carlisle and Esme's sex life is like? I sort of wonder if they get a bit kinky or keep it mostly sweet and vanilla.

They've been married a long, long, long time so I'm sure there has been plenty of experimenting along the way. I could even see like maybe there were phases like, oh remember when we were really into XYZ for 10 years? or whatever. Vampire love is permanent so the attraction and desire never fade, but I imagine the particular activities involved could get stale after awhile.

I think it started pretty soft and vanilla given Esme's history with her first husband; very deliberate, gentle, with Esme in the lead with what she was comfortable with. And honestly? I think Esme is still in the lead in terms of what flavor of activities they get up to; I've always lowkey headcanoned Carlisle as somewhere on the ace spectrum with those hundreds of years with (apparently) no romantic or sexual partners (obviously people have headcanons about other relationships he may have had! I'm going with a strictly literal interpretation of author intention here). He even said all he wanted was a friend, a companion, someone who understood him. He didn't say he wanted a lover or spouse or anything of the like. But I don't think he's sex-averse or sex-repulsed at all, it just wasn't something really important to him, not a priority, until his relationship with Esme, probably something like gray-ace or demi-ace. Esme's GIFT is love/passion, so I think she's the one who usually comes up with new things to try. He's 1000% enjoys it and is happy to go along with it, but she's the more likely of the two to come up with new things. Although Esme is always excited when he suggests something himself.

What exactly she comes up with is going to be based entirely on everyone's individual headcanon since Esme is so thinly-sketched as a character so I guess I have to leave it at that. Not a very, uh, satisfying answer, but.

I also think they generally try to be considerate of the other people in the house who look at them as parental figures. I don't think they're Emmett-and-Rosalie-ing all over the place. They probably save the adventurous or kinky stuff for when they are on vacation alone or the 'kids' are all out of the house.

[justagalwhowrites]

Kit how do you stand making your babies go THROUGH IT?????

My fic is supposed to be a long, slow, sad burn and I keep having to rewrite because I'm giving in and making them happy too soon?????

Like I need to get this story out the way it's supposed to be but it's KILLING ME making them so sad!

You are the queen of angst and pining, pls help a bitch out

Love you!!!!

HI BESTIE!!

Girl, I don't know lmfao I just love angst. I love the build up and the anticipation and the hurt/comfort and just ugh. I think I live for that more than I do the smut. Give me the vulnerability and longing and obsession, it's just so raw and revealing of who a character is at their core and oddly intimate and just ughhhh yup. I lean into that stuff because it's the driver for character growth more than the good times are, I think. If it's angst for the sake of angst I'm not as into it but plot/character driven angst is my JAM.

What's worse is, you think THIS is bad? You should see what I do to my OC novel characters 🫠 I have a friend who's read both and at one point in one of the novels he had to put it down just to text me "Jesus fucking Christ you're cruel to these people" and I'm like "yeah, I know, I'm sorry!!!"

But I guess if I had to give a tip I'd say try to build out some major plot points to shake things up a bit and draw that out if that's what you're looking to do? Because even in well established relationships, throw in a wrench like job loss or a traumatic event and you're going to have some problems. And those things happen in real life!

Good luck on angst-ing up your story!! I know it's going to be great regardless!

Love you!

[tathrin]

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

and

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

<3

From this ask meme.

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Uhhh...yes and no? I tend to do little to no research in advance, but if something comes up that requires detail or knowledge or clarification or what-have-you that I don't already have ready at hand off the top of my head, then yeah I'm off to the books/internet in a hurry. (Still wish I could remember what I did with my hardcopy elvish dictionary from years back...that would be very convenient to have now that I'm writing LotR again!) The hardest part is definitely trying to balance "I need to know this thing so that I can write the next part" with "I need to not let myself get distracted by looking up stuff so that I can write the next part" lol. Eternal writer's curse!

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

Neutral? Romance isn't generally a big driver of my interests (which isn't to say that I can't swoon over certain couples) so for me whether or not there's a kiss involved is very much secondary to the emotional weight and process of the story overall. So I guess it also depends on the couple, actually, as I think about it more. For instance: Rachel and Tobias, a first kiss fic? I'm sure it's very cute, but it doesn't really matter. It would be a nice gap-filler, because it's something that we know must have happened off-screen at some point because the first time we see them kiss in the books it doesn't come across (to me anyway) as the first time they've kissed. Furthermore, their relationship has never really focused on "will they/won't they," or anything like that; we know they like each other, they know they like each other, every other Animorph on the team knows they like each other, every Hork-bajir in the valley knows they like each other, by the end of the war every Yeerk on the Blade Ship knows they like each other... Their smooches are a foregone conclusion, so a First Kiss Fic carries very little weight for them a far as character development goes. Probably very nice fluff, quite possibly some heartbreaking angst too, and certainly a fic that can be worth writing for many reasons; but as a concept, it's one that has very little character weight in that particular respect for the two of them. Whereas a Legolas and Gimli first kiss fic generally has more, because a lot of their relationship in canon is centered on them building a relationship — and we don't get to see most of the process, either. But they start out as allies of necessity with very little interest in or respect for one another's people, speedrun a super-tight friendship during the break in Lothlórien, and then the next thing we know they're all "you comfort me"-ing each other and promising "where you go, I will go" and preparing to start a fight to the death with 105 Rohirrim warriors over a rude threat and deciding to break into Elf Heaven together to live happily-ever-forever-after. So there is weight to it when they kiss first. We don't know when it is! We don't know what precipitates it! We don't even know if they do kiss, in fact: we know that they love each other intensely, so much so that a Dwarf is willing to leave Middle-earth for that love and the Lords of the West are willing to permit it! Whether or not there was kissing—or anything else—involved is equal parts unknown and, frankly, irrelevant; whether they do or don't has no bearing on the enormity of their love for one another. (That's one of the best parts of their relationship tbh, in my opinion anyway. How much it doesn't matter, because their love being unprecedented in its enormity and significance is canon regardless of whether they ever lock lips over it or not.) So for them, there's both A: more of a question in a first kiss fic (will they! won't they!) and B: more of a journey, too — because we know they do love each other, more than anything else in Middle-earth (and beyond it, too). But we don't know the details of how that love is expressed...and neither do they. Their whole relationship is a journey, and this is part of it! Maybe a significant part...or then again, maybe not. Maybe the kissing is hardly relevant to them, too. Maybe it's just one small sliver of how their hearts beat and their souls entwine. We don't know, and neither do they, and it's so much fun to find it out! So, to summarize (because it's clearly too late to be succinct) I'll say that my feelings for those fics are entirely situationally dependent. How's that for a long-winded non-answer!

Okay that was a LOT of fun to actually think about and articulate, thank you for asking! I was very "shrug emoji" when I saw that one in my inbox, but the more I got into it the more I got into it. Thanks!

[cherryblossomshadow]

#Seriously let the authors write their characters in whatever way they need or they want #Sometimes they're just a reflection of their own healing process #And you'd be surprised to know how many people do come to the bed negotiating contracts in BDSM while having some form of #healthy communication kink #And/or how many adults wind up naturally expressing themselves like therapists wanting to heal themselves and the world #Whenever they are dealing with conflicts #The only people that will try to make you feel abnormal for using words like “I hear what you are saying and your emotions are valid…” #In everyday speech are those that are threatened by the idea of non-violent and empathetic communication becoming “mainstream” #That human beings might be able to truly listen and emotionally connect rather than fight for dominance and trying to constantly #win a freaking point and prove they are right! #Seriously you can write characters with different levels of communication skills even some with very dysfunctional ones that are #nevertheless amazing people with good intents #Characters that might need some guidance and support from those skilled at healthier and non-violent communication #It's a huge spectrum of human communication styles and abilities in the world! #Just because “you don't personally communicate a certain way IRL” doesn't mean that's not the usual IRL communication style #of another person. #“Pfft! No one really talks like that!” #Most of the times when I hear that I immediately go “Yes they do. Do you even notice how other people interact and talk or just because #YOU wouldn't feel comfortable or natural talking like that you assume no one else does? “ #Food for thought (tags courtesy of @thelostgirl21)

.

Friendly reminder that if you're not being paid to write content a certain way then you can write what you want to write, the way you want it written, forever. Writing is an art form and everyone can be ordinary at it without guilt. If you want your characters to talk about feelings with enthusiasm and skill, then do that. It is free and no one is grading you or docking your pay. It costs everyone zero dollars to leave writers alone. We have enough stress and guilt as it is, thanks. (comment courtesy of @beautifulterriblequeen)

.

This is definitely true! It is frustrating! I guess one thing I've been thinking about a lot though is that for a couple of shows I've seen, I've actually been like yknow what I'll let this slide because… actually it's modelling how to have healthy conflict/talk about your emotions… and of course it's not the job of any piece of media to model healthy behaviour… but I'm hopeful that there are people who will see these shows and benefit from it in how they interact in the rest of their life… so yeah it totally does feel clunky sometimes and there's no need for everyone to be "therapy speak"ing all the time… but I can see one potential benefit to it too 😊 (comment courtesy of @yaay-feelings-fuck-feelings)

.

Alternately, sometimes write a character who is entirely in tune with their emotions and can use therapy speak - and is still lying through their teeth about what they're feeling because it's really fucking entertaining. Bonus points if they deliberately use therapy speak to be misunderstood and make communication HARDER or to communicate a different problem than the one they are having ON PURPOSE. (this is really fun for manipulative villains, especially in stories that take place in the modern age) You can also do this with an extremely "intelligent" character who thinks they are in tune with their emotions but is not - who uses therapy speak to describe the wrong thing. Who thinks they are being honest but are wrong about it because they are on like 16 levels of repression because there's different types of intelligence and so many intellectual people think they can intellectual-brute-force their way to emotional intelligence. (comment courtesy of @baelpenrose)

.

Sorry my rambles didnt fit in the tags!

"people just do not and often Can not tell the absolute truth about themselves all the time even during heated and climactic moments"

I love this dynamic. I also feel like I don't rly understand myself completely, so when I get to know/figure out something about the character that the character doesn't, yet i completely get why they can't understand themselves ... idk I just have a rly good time 🤷‍♀️

characters who "think they are being honest but are wrong about it,"

esp if its bc repression, are so special to me. Again, I just rly love that dynamic

Many intellectual people think they can intellectual-brute-force their way to emotional intelligence

This is A+ character work to me

"Oh! I had a terrible night because you accused me of this, and it's all your fault for having thrown these accusations without having understood my good intentions!"

Oh wow. Damn. Complaining about how my behavior affected his day is actually something dad used to do all the time. Like if we were out together as a family, whenever I would get mouthy or something at the end of the day (looking back, we were probably all tired!!!), he would sigh dramatically and complain, "And we were having such a nice day. Don't ruin it." And, tbf he's still doing it now. *chipper voice* But it's got a new and upgraded flavor to it!

.

Unrelated but I've been researching emotional regulation strategies to try to help someone else, but I'm seeing all these strategies that I've just been unknowingly using, like Opposite Action Skill. When someone pisses me off, I (sometimes) get nicer. (Yes i get pissed off often enough that the "sometimes" is statistically significant). But yeah, until I read the DBT book I got from the library, I had no idea that was a Thing™

That post that's like "stop writing characters who talk like they're trying to get a good grade in therapy" really blew the door wide open for me about how common it's become for a character's emotional intelligence to not be taken into consideration when writing conflict. I remember the first time I went to therapy I had such a hard time even identifying what I was feeling, let alone had the language to explain it to someone else. Of course there are plenty of people who've never been to therapy a day in their life who are in tune to their emotions. But even they would have some trouble expressing themselves sometimes. You have to take into account there are plenty of people who are uncomfortable expressing themselves and people who think they're not allowed to feel certain ways. It also makes for more interesting conflict to have characters with different levels of understanding.

[helmetkeeper]

Heya, dunno if you're chill with doing Metal Family related stuff,

if you are could I request a Heavy Shvagenbagen themed moodboard with parkour (but not like parkour??? uhh the thing people do where they just have fun balancing on things like fences and those divider things in parking lots? I'm so sorry, I don't know the words for this–), maybe metalhead fashion (like... baggy band shirts, ripped jeans maybe comboot boots or converse? not all is necessary if it's too much), and just overall messy but hyper kind of energy (I don't know how to define this, it's just sort of Heavy's thing. ball of energy that is chaos but fun and nice to be around) please?

(Also, if it's not too much if you could put a picture of him in there, I'd really appreciate that!)

Thank you, even if it's just something you consider while reading it.

(Un)Surprisingly, it's me again I guess

– 🎸🎭

(I love making Tags back when I only knew of one kintype and now I'm just sitting here like: "Welp-" Heavy isn't a kin, he's a really, REALLY important comfort character to me right now for some reason. :'D )

Hope you're well, Soldier, as always I absolutely adore your work and I hope this isn't inconvenient!

hello again!! took me a minute to get it together, but i love it and hopefully you'll like it as well :]. the pictures were not picture-ing for a hot minute💀.

but anyways, i do like metal family, not super invested but it's a cool/cute show and the characters are really awesome! so metal family requests are 101% fine ^_^.

as for myself, i'm alright lol. and you're not inconvenient at all! i get to choose when i do this stuff so it's impossible to catch me at a bad time, honestly.

your request should have just posted!!

[katzynia]

Thanks for the tag @bittercape <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

27 published, one of which is a WIP as of June 4th.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

203,862 words (by June 4th 2024)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Batman corner of DC, and mostly even further corner of Slade Wilson/Jason Todd, with only a few exceptions.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Let it fade, let it linger Sound of falling trees First and then Let it build, let it settle Every piece of you

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes. I adore comments, each and everyone really makes my day. I will reply, though it might take a little. Typically I let them accumulate for a couple days (or to the nearest weekend) after publishing before replying to a whole bunch (time spend basking in the warmth of people liking what I wrote :D)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

..I don't really do that angsty endings. I am a softie at heart, so I don't care for hurt/no comfort fics much. Good bittersweet is great thought! With that in mind, I guess my angstiests would be Sound of falling trees (bittersweet is a good word for this ending I think) Turn your dream to shame (my angstiest/darkest fic, ambigous ending)

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my endings are happy. Let it build, let it settle is maybe the sweetest thing in general... Though I do have very sweet oneshots.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, not really. I think Slade/Jay for which I mostly write is still so much in its own corner, not popular enough to attract hate. At least not where I would run into it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

Yes. ;) Pairingwise M/M so far. Kinkwise, many kinds and I'm open to many more :D There aren't many kinks I would absolutely not write. I've found it a lot of fun to try out different things and Jayde Agenda discord server's Kink tag challenge has been loads of fun. I think my kinkiest is probably Straddling the line (in discord and rhyme) as I wrote it with "yes and":ing a whole bunch of kinks, starting with the tag challenge of "Possessive sex". Also Call me maybe, with dirty talk being the whole point of writing it

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

I have not written any cross-overs. I might if something strikes my fancy.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I was asked once, but I said no. I don't like the idea of my work being translated so that I can't understand it. I'm writing in my second language anyway and I have thought a lot about how different I would say things if I was writing on my actual language. It's the connotations! Idk, I just felt... weird about it and didn't want to to happen.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Jayde is my current love and fave in DC, not surprisingly. I also like Jason/Roy Harper, and certain variations of Jason/Dick. In other fandoms, I used to read *a lot* of Steve/Bucky. Arthur/Eames is a lot of fun. I also had fairly intense phase of reading everything for Jyn/Cassian in Star Wars.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Well. I have kind written a Mummy AU for Jayde for about two years now... Hard to say if it ever sees the light of day, i periodically write some and then lose interest/get desperate that it's too complicated and write nothing. I honestly don't know if I get it finished or even if I'm wiling to put the work in.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at dropping information in interesting and not-exposition-y way, drip-drip-dripping it so that it's curiosity inducing. I am good at implying things. I also really like and think I'm good at playing with relative knowledge. I've been told I'm also pretty good at character voices. But honestly, it's hard for me to say what are the strengths, I'm too close to it. So I am in fact, open to feedback

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Grammar, stupid English. In all seriousness, I get pretentious. I usually catch most of it in editing, but I have a tendency to get too flowery and for example, say the same thing in too many ways in row which blunts the impact. As flipside of my information dropping skills, I sometimes get too stingy with information, so that I assume something is clear when it isn't. I'm not very good at narration further way from the POV character, I do very close POV and that doesn't always work for the story I'm trying to tell. Again, I am open to feedback. Could be interesting.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm on the fence about it. I do tend to get annoyed if there's no translation *very* easily available. I think it comes back to my preference for close narration, so if the character doesn't speak the language, I prefer sticking to "Somebody spoke in language he didn't recognize" or something like that. Singular words, especially for affectionate nicknames are cute though. I'm not a language person :D That said, I don't get annoyed in "nobody should ever do this" kind of way. I firmly believe that every writer can do what they want in their story. It's just a preference for me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Jayde. Surprise :D

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I am incredibly, excessively proud of Kindle and char, my pirate fic. I honestly think the concept is great and it turned out very close to what I wanted. It's the longest story I've written and I had so much fun doing it.

Tagging, very close pressure, but if you'd like to jump in @nonbinaryjaybird @notherdeadrobin

[rewoundreviews]

Rewound Review #434: Cutting Class

A discreet murderer picks off students & teachers alike.

Obviously when I laid eyes upon this tape I couldn't resist: that title! That cast! Surely it was destined to become a culty favorite of mine. Sadly, no such luck. I was confused by what it was trying to be - Slasher? Thriller? Comedy? It has elements of all but failed miserably at each. The characters were bizarre: Brad Pitt as a hot headed basketball player, Donovan Leitch as a not-so-subtle stalker, Roddy McDowall as a lecherous principal - none of them seemed comfortable in their roles. Martin Mull gave the best performance by far but he was the misplaced 'comic relief' & was barely in it. Jill Schoelen's line delivery was so dismal it was comic but not in a fun way. Honestly, the only enjoyable person to watch was the resentful janitor who was given such stellar lines as 'I'm the custodian of your f#$*ing destiny!'. I guess I should give this credit for some genuinely disturbing death scenes & the soundtrack has some real bangers but, in the future, I will only be watching this if the company I'm with has the misguided desire to do so.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all! I'm so grateful for all of you!

#vhs

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[awakening-girl]

Tagged by the lovely @marshmellowtea ! Thanks for the tag!

Last song: Euphoria by BTS. From my fluffy OTP imagines playlist. <3 Currently also listening to Stray Kids! (What's new?)

Favourite Colour: Turquoise! Cyan is a close 2nd.

Currently Watching: Too busy studying egyptology... På Spåret I guess? It's a Swedish quiz show, really fun!

Last movie: Red, White & Royal Blue! It was really good! Actually my mom watched it first, but she really liked it so we watched it together when I came down to visit. Which was... over a month ago, huh...

Currently Reading: My required reading for my egyptology course. It's egyptian myths rn, which is my main interest, so that helps!

Sweet, Spicy, or Savoury: 98% of the time sweet, 2% of the time savoury. Never ever spicy. My autistic taste buds can't even handle kimchi!

Current Obsession: I have no idea, getting into a depressive mood, so everything is feeling a little... muffled by water, if that makes sense? Also, I have so many obsessions going on at once. I guess the Fallen Hero series, Fire Emblem, Persona, Percy Jackson/Kane Chronicles, the DnD movie Honour Among Thieves, Baldur's Gate 3, and KinnPorsche? But they are all or are becoming mainstays in my head, so... Ancient Egypt doesn't count, I'm always obsessed with that!

Currently Working On: Do the scenarios that run around my brain 24/7 count? No? Then the KinnPorsche/Love in the Air crossover time-travel fix-it fic that's on the back burner, I guess. :/ I'm still not done with the character sheets, and I need to make a more detailed outline.

Tagging @fun-with-colors and @teatitty because you are the only ones I feel comfortable @ ing. Anyone who wants to can say they were tagged by me, though!