#i'm back to working on blog things.....
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"
OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.
"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"
OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it
"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"
OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.
"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"
I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.
I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.
Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.
So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.
#out of queue#ani rambles#punks and posers#i cant even call this a 4am hot take because its 7pm but like#idk i keep seeing posts about like 'how DARE people think I bought my punk clothes how DARE they not know the how-tos and DIYs'#or 'ugh people only care about the ~aesthetics~ of my movement if you don't know shit get out of here' and like#maybe I'm just a shy ass introverted nerd whos scared of social rejection! but I avoid that shit like the plague#so if someone were to reject me based on not knowing about something I'd never even heard about? something i was JUST getting into?#there's a high chance I'd just scram and never look back. i don't wanna be the one who causes that emotion in someone else#granted this is coming from someone who STILL doesn't know how to make her own patches or worked up the courage to do direct action praxis#outside of offering neighbors to my tomatoes and trying to talk to people about what I'm passionate about#but still imo unless someone's a malicious intentional bad actor i dont see the point in scaring newbies off#thats how movements die imo#i know this is my solarpunk blog but its not a solarpunk specific thing#i think the main post that inspired this was about store-bought versus self-made spiked leather jackets#which honestly just feels petty to me but who knows.#might delete later
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hello, my fellow karamatsu comrades.
⛔ BLMATSU / PROSHIPPERS DNI!! ⛔
#i was trying to figure out a happy medium between my style of ososan's style for casual doodling on here... i'm still working w/ it#the other sketches are older and in my regular style tho#i haven't drawn these guys in years so i'm trying to get back into the swing of things#for any ososan girlies if you have seen someone w/ the user wildflowercryptid in your notifications dats me hi 👋#i've mostly been lurking but i wanna try making more ososan stuff bc the blogs i follow really inspire me...#i also have an oc i've been working on so i'll post about them soon :)#osomatsu san#karamatsu matsuno#karamatsu#todomatsu matsuno#todomatsu#mj draws#osmt
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quick traditional piece for fun ^^
#I dont work traditionally very often because it hurts my hands quite a bit#if it's something that only takes me an hour or so then I can do it#but if we're getting into 2-3+ hour territory...#can't do it :(#theoretically I could pause and come back but when you're mixing colors and stuff that ends up being pretty dang rough#buuuut I'm trying to do more non-computer stuff lately...#so I'll probably do some little things here or there#been sooo tired lately lol sorry#I've been working and dont have much to share unfortunately!#I cant really share MOST of the panels I've been doing#the nature of what I'm writing like... 90% of what I'm drawing right now is legitimately spoilers...#so I can't even share wips!!!#I do have something I'm hoping to get posted soon but I've gotta wait on some other people for it...#anyways#we were legion#zagan#traditional art#art#my art#my ocs#demon#underwater#man why do I tag that other stuff I doubt anyone is going to my blog an searching that
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get Apollo'd idiot @sheerunfilteredhubris
#[.art]#^ if the didascalia is unclear this is meant to be a portrait of sorts. Of my friend. Technically of the greek god too but same thing#Juno#<- goes in my tags soley in this way I don't have a clue of what else to put on here#with added closeups! This took me one afternoon and some. I think about four hours in total if I add up all the last-minute editing#it was going to have a more complex background but it ruined the constrast and the shapes got lost in it so I had to scrap that#alas I don't think this will work as a way to achieve endless youth but we can't /all/ turn art into devil deals#no I'm not going to stop making that joke. I think it's hilarious.#also my soundtrack for this was the Hozier youtube automated playlist. we are not escaping with our lives I fear /j#is it neoclassical or more baroque? The main inspiration was the first but the harsher contrast reminds me of the second#ah well. You can tell me that. I can't analyse my own art#my art#greek mythology#classical mythology#painting#apollo#<- i'm putting these tags back here so it doesn't show up in the search it's just for my blog organisation
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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Today, May 23rd, is Robin's birthday!
Happy birthday, Robin!
#UTDR#UTY#Kindness Soul#UTDR OC#Robin#Doodles#Temporary break in my hiatus to post this because??#Before 'events' that led to my need of a long term break this was planned ages ago#Robin's birthday is the 23rd of May!#I didn't want my current episode to ruin this special thing I had planned bc quite frankly I love this character#I made her with a lot of love and care and I wanted to make something fun for the birthday I planned out for her#However I am a little bummed that I don't have the time energy or mental state to make something bigger#This day unfortunately snuck up on me pretty quickly#There was meant to be an event of sorts on the Guns and Aprons blog for this day but as you can see?? There's no time#I plan to have one anyway in the future when I'm well enough and have the time to work on it#In the meantime I hope you enjoy this art I managed to complete!#Alright. There will be no more breaks in my hiatus. I'll be back when I can stomach being back.#Ciao 💕
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TO be honest. I don’t understand what it means when people say Merlin was Arthur’s bane. Mayhaps I misunderstand but. Arthur was a bit of an assassination magnet (not to mention all those magical creatures and bandits... so many bandits), and Merlin actively prevented Arthur's death for years, which would have occured without him anway in the very first episode. I can see why one might argue that Merlin was just delaying the inevitable, or that he didn't succeed in keeping Arthur safe until Arthur could enact the golden age, but certainly I don’t see how he could have been Arthur’s bane.
Also, it’s implied in the last episode that the golden age does occur, but under Guinevere. Which makes sense as she knew Merlin was the sorcerer and that she was pleased about it (and I recall it was confirmed in interviews), so I also don’t follow the twin train of thought that Merlin was his own bane or even Camelot’s. Camelot was already bane-d(?) under Uther. But partly because of Merlin's steady friendship, Arthur matured into a king who was kinder than his father. He also actively sought magic's aid on multiple occasions, so he knew magic had potential for good (like healing his queen) without Merlin needing to tell him about his magic.
I don't think it's fair to say Camelot's laws on magic remaining relatively static was because no one close to Arthur came out as having magic. There was still much risk in that, and for Merlin a lot at stake, not just his life. A law change was still possible (and almost seemed to be set up that way) without Arthur needing someone he was personally close to having to do the work to humanize it for him (in the sense that the episodes with the druids, the druid boy with Elyan, and the dolma seemed like they were pointing to a law change because Arthur sees the diversity of magic and those who have it).
At worst Merlin’s efforts didn’t change the status quo, but we do have things indicating that they did. And Merlin was not single-mindedly serving Arthur at the expense of everyone else. He saved Camelot as a whole multiple times. He was also very willing to stick out his neck for many others even during the height of his anxiety and agitation in season 5. (Also only being slightly silly when I say this, but he was also THE wingman for Arthur when he was getting with Gwen, so in a way Merlin’s help led to their courting being a success and thus contributed to her being in a great position to change the laws. so personally I give points to Merlin for that). Most of the decisions centering Arthur's safety seemed to stem from the fear that Albion would crumble before it began if Arthur were to die, so he tried his best to prevent that from happening in any way he knew. (Like, when Arthur is dying, Merlin asks "So I failed?" regarding the whole golden age thing, which I think is telling that the prophesy and his role in it was still VERY much at the forefront of Merlin's mind).
And this is a digression but I know people think Merlin should have done more for Camelot, or for folks with magic (like, as a revolutionary or something akin), which I understand but no one reached out to network with him really? It'd require resources, people (always confused why there weren't a whole bunch more folks offering Merlin material/intellectual/emotional support if they thought he should be the one to bring about the golden age. all he was told was that the forseen way it actually happens succesfully is through Arthur), time (I doubt it’d have been much of a ‘quicker’ way necessarily), and incredible planning + foresight if it's meant to be something that works out effectively + long-term. Okay I think I've digressed enough now. This is a whole seperate thought that I don't think I'm gonna do any justice here lol, and I'm already rambling, so I'll stop now :,)
But anyway, in terms of being his own or Arthur’s bane, we know Arthur will return, and we don’t know how Merlin spent his years. His magic can play with time and maybe he learns how to control that, or he could have entered a stasis like in various legends, etc etc etc. And I mean it is tragic on many levels, and it’s sad we didn’t see Arthur’s arc completed, and that Merlin sacrificed so much for a goal that didn't get much acknowledgment by the show at the end, but still. I don’t think Merlin was Arthur’s bane, or Camelot’s, or his own.
#I am always writing things out when I'm SLEEPY so my bad if this doesn't make sense or is redundant. it's def all over the place 😭#being sleepy makes me so sympathetic to merlin like..... he must have been sleepy too#also. sorry this is yet another post not gushing about Merlin on my side blog made just to gush about Merlin#this will probably happen again BUT#you must understand there’s always an undercurrent of gushing in all my posts#bc I love Merlin and enjoyed the show even though it does make me. feel things. that I wish it didn’t#BUT ALSO will make a tag for this for easy blocking in case anyone wants to block these rambles!#uhhhh the tag will be… this one:#🌹#I hope blocking emoji tags works... willing to hear suggestions on this LOL#(maybe I'll clean this up later but I just wanted to get some thoughts down!)#okay I'm done now back to imagining Merlin in starry court sorcerer robes while doing magical shenanigans :D#merlin#bbc merlin
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🤍 the cure to all my ailments 🤍
#jinki art is BACK on this blog (back back back)#my drawing tablet was happy to come out of its drawer for a change#should I tag this as *not an edit*?#I've been toning down on the hyper-realism lately but I never know if it will confuse folks lol#anyway#I'm overwhelmed with excitement#he looks so goooooood#lee jinki#ThatGoodOldArtTag#onew#shinee#(I wish I'd had time to glaze and nightshade this but it was taking foreveeeer to download the resources and unzip and setup the#whole thing and I really need to go to bed cause these days I'm working like crazy and it's been stressful#so perhaps the next time I'll have more time to setup these softwares and make them work) *sigh*#shinee shenanigans
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I just need to be told "You Can Do It" right now.
#I've gotten about 3 hours of sleep within the last 48 hours and I'm still behind in my classes#I don't know how I'm supposed to keep up at this point#Just grinding constantly for hours every waking moment of my life#I'm stuck wondering the same things#'When will it slow down?'... 'Will it actually ever slow down?'#If it doesn't i don't think i can keep up#Full time in college and full time in work#However#every time i try to speak my troubles or stress to someone they just chuckle#and ignore me saying ''well college is like that. welcome to the adult world''#Why does college have to be like this? why is everyone so fine with this?#I'm very unmotivated right now#My grades are all low despite the numerous 100%s I've been getting#And they're not going back up no matter how many A+ s I get on assignments#I don't like talking to people - it scares me terribly#So i don't like it when I'm constantly forced to talk to over 10 people every time i go to school (talk to your professor they say#I like to think of my job at my second home#at least that's not too hard and i love the people#But I just need things to get less intense school-wise#Just for me to get a decent amount of sleep please#Just a little bit#Please#i don't know#I'm not going on hiatus no worries#I love my blog dearly and cannot abandon it for my mental health#I just need encouragement#Because I'm so tired#Sorry for the rant I hate to vent#I'll delete this later if i remember#💬
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#fishman island#ch644#i'm actually reading these chapters right now bc i know that fishman island is like.#a metaphor for racism and to some extent isolationism of communities#and how that allows for hatred to grow unchecked and hate is a very unproductive emotion#i dont think the hatred/dislike towards humans is entirely unprompted#i mean obviously we see how fishmen are treated above ground thats what sabaody is about#priming us for fishman island and the conflict here#since hody jones. you can see where his mindset comes from#and why he thinks that way. but at the end of the day he just wants mindless violence against the oppressive class#and that's just going to be unproductive and make things WORSE for EVERYONE#inb4 anyone says anything i am native american and have kinda sat with these feelings a lot#not about to go into my whole complicated feelings abt my own heritage here#that's what random posts on my main blog are for#but i also dont think otohime's idea of trying for peace without any violence was going to work either. not in the climate they were in#like its a very noble idea but at the end of the day... there does need to be some pushback but you have to target it in the right areas#like i think fisher tiger targeting the slave auctions is more of the direct action called for#and obviously people get caught in the crossfire on both sides.#but that is directed violence vs directionless violence ie what hody jones wants#its a bastardization of the cause to create more bloodshed than necessary. you know.#idk where i'm going with this anymore okay i'm gonna go back to queuing more sanjis
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my goofy ass brain really waited 5 years to give me a death note phase i'm floored
#death note#light yagami#misa amane#l lawliet#dn#lawlight#my art#decided to binge the anime as background noise while i worked just so i could cross it off my list (read the manga years ago)#little did i know that was the equivalent of shooting myself in the foot#hell these doodles were just meant to serve as a short break from said thing i'm working on. it's been 2 hours.#holds head in my hands this wasn't supposed to happen this was Not the plan#also heyyy hiiiii first actual art post on this blog in like a million years#does this mean regular posting is back?lol. lmao n#anyways light is a silly bitch i will sock him in the face#me and my gifted kid red head fictional characters with poor morals and the gayest rivalries known to man </3#what am i even doing with my life honestly
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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Henford Hall -December, 18:39PM
#sims 4#ts4#ts4 build#so im kinda back again#this year has been crazy#i move to Paris in september 2022 to study there two semesters#then i came back to spain and move to a new city#well is not really new since its my hometown but i hadn't live there since 2015 and I missed it so much#and between work uni and RL things I didn't have much time to play sims#so here I am again but you know how inconsisten is this blog so dosen't expect regular posts lol#probably i will not have time to play in the future but who cares#now about sims#i've been trying to make some trees DR with new meshes but they refuse to show the correct textures in autumn winter and spring#I suspect it has to be something related to vertex paint or any information attached to the leaves mesh that i'm not getting in s4s#i'll be posting that later to see if someone can give some advice#also had a problem with a building deco for Hendford wich I converted from Cities Skylines#i'm really frustrated with s4s and me lately#well i think its enough for today#come back for more ted talks
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what is it about lesbian media that fills me with the heaviest & most profound sadness in the pit of my stomach, in my throat, under my heart.
#keeping it fun and funky fresh#personal#matty watches#i am not even talking about things like carol (which absolutely did leave me with an indescribable aching sensation for days)#or bloom into you which i am watching now (i can't get the opening song out of my head and it feels like it's stealing my breath)#i'm talking about fucking Enchanting Grom Fright from the owl house! which made me so so so sad when i watched it back in aug 2020#and WHY. and for WHAT.#god.#it's like. it's some Gender Feelings for sure. plus ya know. my overall shall we say delicate mental state (:#but for god's sake i can't even watch some yuri without wanting to curl up and weep and subsume into the mossy forest floor#gender blogging#matty's mental health#i watched carol when it came out in 2015 while having the worst time of my life working on ssv oliver hazard perry#and like i said. already was having a horrible horrible time. and left the theatre absolutely emotionally devastated#feeling like i'd been shattered & the pieces just leaned back against each other#and not... really knowing why it was hitting me so hard or why i was feeling so fucking fragile about it#and that. was definitely an Egg Moment. i'd started id'ing as nonbinary like 6 months earlier.#idk. this got away from me#what i'm trying to say is. i'm watching bloom into you and i'm feeling incredibly fragile about it.#but also Why do i feel so incredibly fragile about every single fucking piece of lesbian media i've ever seen#ALSO INB4: I AM ALREADY A GIRL BY NOW AND AM A LESBIAN SO IF ANYONE IS GONNA MAKE AN ~I SUGGEST FORCEFEM~ JOKE PLS DON'T
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Happy New Year, @spear-gsun , I was your @touhousecretsanta for this year- I have one fresh miss Mizuchi for you!
Apologies for how late it is! (Thank you for waiting warmly ^^;) I hope the new year treats you well!
#FIRST THINGS FIRST I'm very sorry for the long long warm wait ;;#there's actually a second side to this with reimu → (cool epic showdown style) but it has been a LONG time since I've drawn anything#i way underestimated how slow i work AND i sort of had to re-learn my own art style which was awkward ://#BUT I'd like to come back to this possibly maybe#(which is also why I'm posting it on this blog instead dbvdgssg)#i had a hard time thinking about HOW to draw her (newhu peoblems) but i think in the end i went for Pretty Similar to Reimu-#but with some added whispiness to her hair (kind of like how Harukawa drew Shion) bc .. spirit i guess XD#ANYWAY for now I wish you a happy and healthy new year!#to the mods and everyone who participated thank you for this year as always!#touhou#Miyadeguchi Mizuchi#uhh this is the first time I've ever posted an image from mobile so if it ends up severely broken I'm sorry LMAO
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