#i'm also open to alternatives!!
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I only know Mexican Spanish, so I can only speak for myself and those I grew up with but "mami" and "papi" are not the equivalent of mommy/daddy as used in sexual or intimate relations.
We use mami and papi with our kids. It's what our tíos and tías call us that affectionately. It's what the lady from the corner store calls us when she's sweet on us and can't quite remember our names. It's what our grandparents call us as they fix up a scraped knee. And they bring out papito/mamita when we're either in deep shit, or in need of comfort that can only come from someone with more knowledge, power, or experience than us. It's a diminutive term of endearment.
I'm not saying it's never used as mommy/daddy, but it's hardly ever a title. The context of it is so wildly different, because it's usually what we call someone we're responsible for.
"Mamas" tho? Mamas can fuck.
#xavi ramblings#it's a little jarring sometimes lmao#but i thought this might be important considering some of the characters i see written with these words are specifically mexican#i'm also open to alternatives!!#would fucking love to see the same dynamic used#it's just a matter of context#i haven't been able to think of a masculine equivalent yet#because it doesn't seem to exist in the language with the same sentiment#kiko brought up that it's because so many latine households are lead and ran by the women#which leads to most possible masculine terms of endearment being diminutive#it all makes sense too that's why i love when women are mean to me#culturally built-in feature
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My two cents on Aziraphale's "I forgive you" is that he was straightforwardly lashing out. He knows how little Crowley wants to be forgiven. He knows because Crowley just told him. Crowley rejects forgiveness so absolutely that he rejects Aziraphale right along with it. It's the whole fight in a microcosm: Aziraphale standing there offering forgiveness and Crowley saying, I don't want it.
So maybe the words are Aziraphale showing he finally understands Crowley. He knows now that "I forgive you" is the very worst thing he could say to Crowley. That's why he says it. That's how he means it.
#good omens#good omens meta#there might be different nuances to this if you assume there was something more going on in their fight#but i think this is the face value reading of the line#and any alternative explanations have to start here#look it's just if you watch his face he settles on ANGRY before he says it#he says i forgive you but he doesn't mean i forgive you#he means *fuck you*#i also think this ties in very well to his opening image of forgiving Maggie's rent#in an opening and closing image you want to show change you want to dramatically contrast where the character is at#we open with Aziraphale forgiving thousands of pounds without a thought#saying 'I'm very good at forgiveness'#and we close on him facing something he cannot forgive#(in that moment. obviously he and crowley will reconcile.)#fable talks good omens
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induced to me by my contemporary art exam AND a rewatch of rebels after years that. got me into sabezra unexpectedly AND i updated krita and there were many new brushes i wanted to try
refs (IF U CAN PLS HELP ME FIND THE ORIGINAL COSPLAYERS i can't find anything EDIT: found them!! they're starwars_irl on insta and @rebelartistwren / lionesscosplay on insta. thank you guys <3) and ✨colored version✨ under the cut
i can't find themmmmm I've been looking for 2 days but all i found were uncredited reposts
anyway they look amazing
i really wanted to try greyscaling but I'm not sure it looks good. idk. + while i was making it i was listening to i love you by fontaines d.c. (GREAT SONG FROM A GREAT UNDERRATED BAND) and. the grey fit into that mood much better
also two versions without the sketch lines. where ezra looks happier even if they're uglier
#i didn't expect to like them as a ship ngl. but there are some moments that recall kanera (AND I LOVE THEM) especially if you've read#a new dawn. and IDK COOL!! probably i didn't ship them from the start because. in s1-s2 they're just kids and everytime i reach s3 i keep#brainrotting on thrawn <3 and kallus <3 and zeb <3 idk i kinda forgot about them and all the scenes they were in LMAO#ALSO. i love you is truly a wonderful song wtf?? it's not something I'd associate to sabezra BUT probably after having listened to it for a#month. and having drawn this in the meantime. i found some connections. the fact that the songs alternated between that melodic part#that talks about love to the other verses about (very generally) society. just felt like how their relationship would go. rapidly switching#between the fast paced fights for the rebellion to the calm of the preparation they require that can allow them for some tenderness. ALSO#ezra is so much “if there was sunshine it was never on me / so close the rain; so pronounced is the pain”#and sabine is pretty much “you only open the window; never open up the door” sometimes. especially before her darksaber arc#btw i know this song is about ireland and their relationship with theid country BUT it just prompted me to their grey figures#and colorful background. also. there's something about klimt making some of the most tender representations of love ever imo BUT keep#choosing to represent rather dark iconographies whenever he's asked to do something (I'm thinking about the medicine panels for the uni)#like. there is a similar contrast in there as well. also i like that. ursa had a portrait of herself in her home that referenced klimt#like. it's ursa in her prime; in a literal golden age. i can imagine sabine associating a good moment - one of her bests - to such an#expressive decoration. and maybe stripping colors away when that moment is gone and all that remains is the memory and feeling#OKAY WHY DID I TALK SO MUCH i must've put more thought on this that i previously thought. crazy#it started as a fun experiment to try krita's oil brushes. *in david byrne's voice* how did i get here?#star wars#sw#star wars rebels#star wars fanart#star wars rebels fanart#ezra bridger#sabine wren#ezrabine#sabezra#sabine wren fanart#ezra bridger fanart#sw fanart#g posting
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Let me explain what happened. I'm going to work through events one by one, ending with the state you see in the screenshot.
I am playing Ironman (basically no saving or loading except as needed to restore the game state after program shutdown).
I am playing on Genius difficulty (4/5, I didn't want to get my ass turned inside out by Superhuman difficulty)
I am besieging the enemy UFO.
I am 90% convinced the map is empty of aliens, save for the UFO.
I carelessly explore the map with the XCOM soldier seen at the bottom.
At 1 TU left, the XCOM soldier makes Line of Sight with an alien.
My reaction: Oh shit, oh fuck, uhhh.
1 TU is not enough for the XCOM soldier to scratch their fucking ass, let alone retreat or fire.
On the next turn that alien is going to turn around and without fail obliterate my soldier.
Nobody else has LOS on the alien and nobody, even if they spent their entire turn's worth of TUs could not possibly move into a position that can allow them to shoot the alien.
I select the XCOM that you see still selected in the screenshot -- Jungo Chiba.
I contort all of my brain muscles to try to find a way to save my beloved anti-xeno legionnaire.
Jungo Chiba has exactly enough moves to face up against the wall on a trajectory towards the alien.
I use ctrl+click to force Jungo to shoot in the direction of the wall in 3x Auto mode.
The first shot destroys a section of yellow-brownish brick wall.
The second shot destroys a section of wooden wall.
The third shot destroys a wooden door and the same shot hits the alien in the side, obliterating them immediately.
I pog so ungraciously and take this ugly ass screenshot.
(I move him one tile away from the hole he just shot for no reason.)
What a fucking legend.
Thank you for your service, Jungo Chiba.
#anramble#vidya#xcom#my backup plan was to try to chuck a grenade#but i think it would have been really difficult given the angle#i love xcom#also this is oxce#i like the alternate moving rules#they let you expend extra energy to move at lower TU cost#that's one way you can make oxce differ from vanilla#it makes the game a little easier#but also i'm playing ironman so give me a break here#oxce is “open xcom extended” btw
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LHFW 2024 graphics: Austrian Grand Prix
#f1#f1edit#f1 edit#formula 1#formula one#kill bill#lewis hamilton#lewishamiltonedit#lhfw 2024#roscoehamiltons.jpg#i have to confess i have never actually seen kill bill but the aesthetic of the movie poster is so iconic and matches the outfit perfectly#also random insight into my creative process: got this set up and scheduled to post with only one graphic in it (the first one) and went to#bed. then inspiration struck me at midnight to make the third graphic and after some deliberation i got out of bed and opened photoshop..#fiddled around and then went 🤔 maybe i should make an alternate version of the first graphic while i'm here#and that's how this post ended up with three graphics in it instead of only one 👍
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"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.
Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.
Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...
And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.
Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.
#Murderbot#murderbot diaries#tmbd#system collapse#Herr's personal tag#Also like. System collapse dives deep into MB's feelings about its life as secunit prior to the events of all systems red#I find this conversation from when they were discussing what would happen if the BE folks got to the colonists first /very/ telling#MB going on about how life as a corporate slave is absolute fucking hell#ART drone saying that they can't just kill people because the alternative is worse than death#ART: would it have been kinder to kill you before you'd disabled your governor module?#MB with zero fucking hesitation: /yes/#(followed by my favourite ART line ever. “You know I am not kind.”)#Like. MB would not have always admitted that it had hated its life as a secunit this openly#Saying it was shit is one thing saying I would rather be dead than think of me or anyone else going through this again is a very different#And here it has zero issues stating that. At least when talking to ART#And then later on it goes on to offer its actual memories for a publicly screened documentary#Because it knows it's the only way to make people see. The only way to save then from the same (ish) fate#And it's willing to do whatever it takes to save these people it's never even met before from what it views as fate worse than death#Including opening up and acknowledging its past experiences and past/current feelings#And I'm just like. Man I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried.#You go MB. Holy fuck I wish I could do what you've done. You might just be the person to defeat this evil capitalism my dude
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A tangent from the tags of my previous Pharma post (and I just thought about this so bear w/ me if it's hastily reasoned) is that the Autobots being generally sanctimonious is actually sort of a reason why I find a lot of IDW Optimus interpretations to miss the mark, specifically the accusations of calling him stuff like self-righteous, caring more about principles than people, etc. And I know that sounds really ironic, but out of every Autobot (and almost every character period), Optimus is one of the few people who has a very forgiving/humanistic perspective on life or at least has a political approach of "if we don't stop fucking fighting we're going to be at war forever and eventually just kill ourselves."
He very explicitly wanted a diplomatic end to the war and not a military victory/conquest. He extended multiple offers to Megatron personally to work together and end the war (Autocracy trilogy, which was pre/early war, and Chaos Theory, which was late/end war, so from this we can assume Optimus' stance was consistent the whole time). When ppl hated him so bad they rioted he removed himself from the planet rather than argue or fight to justify why his actions were the best he could do. Sandstorm starts murdering Decepticons and Optimus solves the murders and then throws Sandstorm in prison bc sparing one of his Autobots the consequences of his actions is less important to Optimus than keeping the peace and making sure anyone who threatens to ignite wartime hostilities is punished for it. There are multiple characters throughout the series that other people give up on as too far gone or too cowardly/evil/damaged to be worth helping where Optimus alone is the person who says "I think they can get better/they did bad things but they're still people" such as the Dynobots, Blurr, Prowl (despite how OP's patience with him hung by a thread by the end of it), Shockwave, and, yknow, fucking Megatron of all people.
And on top of that Optimus' internal thoughts most of the time revolve around feelings of guilt, responsibility, anger, hopelessness/barely hanging on to his ideals, and so on. Bro regularly has thoughts about how the entire Autobot-Decepticon war was his fault and is depressed to the point the thought of dying/martyring himself makes him feel relieved. So like. Idk guys I don't think those are the personality traits/actions of a self-righteous person who thinks he's correct about everything and everyone who opposes him or fails his moral standards is just evil or whatever.
#squiggposting#idw op love#it's one of those things where i'm very nitpicky about idw optimus characterizations yknow#bc there are many times where like there are seeds of valid criticisms or interesting ideas in fanon#but they fall short of being insightful or interesting to me bc they fundamentally don't understand idw op#be it out of ignorance of canon or like tweaking his characterization to fit whatever story they want to tell personally#which like that's how fanon works it's not like i'm railing against alternate character interpretations#it's just that that's AN INTERPRETATION of idw op but it isn't actually idw op to me#in order to criticize something you have to understand it and ime most people don't understand idw op#or at the very least if you characterize idw op as self righteous he's self righteous in a very specific way that isn't like. overtly evil#i think the problem is a lot of ppl write idw op as selfrighteous either out of ignorance or out of some sort of moral grandstanding#neither of which are correct bc OP is very aware of his fallibility + judges ppl but is also incredibly forgiving/open to redemption#i'd need to review canon but like. idw op is self righteous in that he decides what the best thing to do is and then does it#whether other ppl like it or not. so it's more about his relationship w authority and power than it is 'oh he's judgemental and ignorant'
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I've been thinking again about Minkowski and Hera during the time when Eiffel was stranded on Lovelace's shuttle - about how Hera had gotten so used to monitoring Eiffel's wellbeing, and how Minkowski felt responsible for his safety, and how neither of them cope well with not knowing things they feel they ought to.
Perhaps one day Hera notices Minkowski reading the nutrition information on the back of the ration packs (the same kind as the ones that were on that shuttle). And Hera knows what Minkowski's doing, because she's been running the same calculations herself. Calories in one ration pack multiplied by number of ration packs on the shuttle, divide that by minimum calories required per day, add something on for the number of days survivable with no food at all...
Hera's got access to plenty of information about what the human body can survive, but there's too many variables here. How damaged is the shuttle? What's the temperature like? What's Eiffel's body weight? And there's too many horrible questions that Hera and Minkowski don't want to think about, and are unable to stop thinking about. How much will to live does Eiffel have? How long can a person hold onto hope in a situation like that?
Perhaps they each separately decide on an answer to their calculations, if only so they can pretend they know that he's currently still alive. But their mental countdowns tick down. And so maybe there comes a day when Hera glitches much more than usual. And maybe not long afterwards there comes a day when Minkowski can't seem to focus on anything at all. And maybe they talk about it, or maybe they don't. But either way, they both know that the other is thinking over the same question. And they are both hoping - more than anything - that the answer they've arrived at is incorrect. They are both hoping for an answer that seems impossible.
#Wolf 359#w359#I thought about writing this as an actual fic#but I know in my heart I'm not going to#so here's just a random sad post#Apologies#I go back and forth on how much I think Minkowski and Hera talked to each other about Eiffel during this time period#Like sometimes I believe they must have talked to each other a lot about how they felt about losing him#and about the memories they shared of him#because the alternative feels too bleak#But other times I acknowledge that neither of them are really winning any prizes for opening up about their feelings#Either way I think Minkowski and Hera did provide really important support to each other in this time#even if it was more unspoken#I think the way they had to rely on each other in this time really strengthened their bond#Also I couldn't be bothered to figure out actual numbers for how long it might have taken him to starve to death#Lazy research provides too broad a range of answers about that#and I know this doesn't acknowledge the cryo pod#but Minkowski and Hera might not even have had evidence that it was functioning#and they certainly didn't know whether he'd use it#Wolf 359 spoilers#w359 spoilers#the empty man posteth#Hera & Minkowski#Eiffel & Minkowski#Eiffel & Hera#tw starvation
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character designs for podcast musical (musical podcast?) @perfecttimeseleven // notes on the designs below the cut
hello there! usually i put commentary in the tags but i had too much to write this time.. thank you for clicking. have this uncoloured version as tribute. for ease of presentation i have once again made pptx slides :)
links for context: hcs and edits by CC @litanyofthemartyrs // scheherazade, [cc's px11 fic, incredible] // visual research sheets (under the cut) by me // the official art by @elliotly, which you can probably find on his tumblr(but is in too many posts for me to bother linking). enjoy!
#art for the art blog. for an incredibly small fandom... tbh this is 50% brainrot and 50% just a gift for litanyofthemartyrs#thank you for our friendship + the hype as i sent you wips to disturb your revision + hope u like this 😭😭😭#now i'm done i can rest in peace (do math without stopping to draw. brainrot is powerful i did this entire thing in less than 48h)#alternatively what i have also been doing is opening up the image of them all in a row and looking at the character talking#while the podcast plays in the background. since this is essentially the visual version of the voices for me it's immensely satisfying#for the rest of you all who followed me for <insert fandom>? disclaimer that while i enjoyed px11 immensely it hiatused in 2021#but the script for the whole thing is up online if you wanna check it out; the podcast is unfinished#also for the adamandi folks. i guess this also counts as a very niche corner of the melliotverse <shrugs> mkay! bye!#the remy renaissance#<- stealing that as the px11 tag for this blog
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It is the year 2031. The second season finale of the Bells Hells animated series, episode title, "Red Moon Rising," has just been released. I open a new project in Premiere Pro. I title the project "LudinusDaleth_AMV". I drag "WageWarsGetRichDieHandsome_TheMountainGoats.mp4" into the timeline,
#i know I've made jokes of this ilk before and I'll DO IT AGAIN#critical role#ludinus da'leth#yes i hate him. also this is the funniest possible fanvid of all time.#listen that song IS the Ludinus Da'leth song#ludinus playlist that's just 12 'Wage Wars Get Rich Die Handsome' with one 'Bad Moon Rising' thrown in#alternatively if you wanna hold onto the spirit of that joke make it another tmg song#I'm open to suggestions but no children is a classic. also both make you suffer and mark on you would work.#honestly a LOT of bleed out is good for Ludinus.#HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT HOSTAGES THAT'S ACTUALLY THE BEST ONE TO THROW IN#for context I'm currently listening to bleed out.
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i hope every person who makes fun of food allergies has a warm pillow on both sides and has wet socks forever and ever. I hope they have a paper cut and then get lemon juice on it.
#“peanut allergies aren't real lmfaoooo” I'm going to shoot you with a bean bag gun#I see a lot of fucking jokes about people with peanut allergies and it just pisses me the hell off#like hi I'm the person with the peanut allergy here#did you know that i have done 8 years worth of desensitization#and taken medication daily then weekly for the same amount of time#just so I could live my life being able to eat more foods#and not be scared of death#and that I still have more common food allergies that can also kill me#and wherever I go I have to hope that there's something safe to eat and that the kitchen staff won't cross contaminate things#or when I can't eat food at school sometimes bc the only meal they have has shellfish and the alternative has been contaminated within#five minutes of the lunch line being open#and I have to skip lunch#this is such a random rant out of nowhere but I just saw a post about#people ignoring food restrictions/allergies/etc and it just reminded me of my own issues#thank god I haven't had problems since I was a toddler bc of how vigilant my family and I have been#I used to tell people on Halloween when I was little I had nut allergies#instead of saying trick or treat#yeah#sharkz rambles in the tags#lots of tags to read rip#I could a made this a separate post but whatevs#food allergies#rant
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reminders of the passage of time moodeboard
#my blog is in his last year of middle school. he'll be off to high school next year (at least I think so..? 13 yrs old is usually 8th grade#at least from my experience. 9th graders are usually 14. 10th are 15. etc. etc. and then you're in 12th grade#and graduate high school usually 17yrs old.) ANYWAY.. wow he is so ancient..#maybe he's still in a preteeny early teen emo phase or something.. I hope he gets some black and white striped armwarmers and black eyeline#r for his birthday. Maybe an MP3 player of course. Though because I don't really like most alternative music and he is my son he's actually#not allowed to listen to metal or pop punk or emo rock whatever stuff. I open the mp3 player and pre-stock it with only#disco and funk and classical music. he can have a little chiptune or techno stuff as a treat (sometimes emo adjacent maybe more#scene. I think a lot of scene kids were into that more.. emo's weird eccentric brother))#Also he starts taking iron pills his 13th birthday because he's probably incredibly anemic just like me#so on and so forth and et cetera (I'm just being silly.. I am not pro-controlling your children down to whatmusic they#listen to or etc.etc. lol)#THOUGH I love that it's in january... january is one of my favorite months if not my favorite. yeeaaay#just such a nice cool month. I like that it's the start of the year mostly and that it's sometimes snowy here. Like where I live nov - dec#isnt really actually snowy?? You always associate those winter Months with snow but I think snow happens later on this coast#so it's more like Jan - March or even april sometimes. Though that may just be climate change lol.. But it's cool that Jan is winter AND#ACTUALLY snowy. plus the Beginning Of Year vibes and energy.. hrm... nice nice.. ANYWAY#AND this is not even my first tumblr blog. I had a different one before it I think..#evviilll to be on one website for so long lol.. Very thankful that most websites I used to use as a 10 year old or whatever#are now defunct. There's something weird about how humans are just creating endless streams of words and pictures and all of this stuff#and it just goes out into the void and stays there long after the person themselves has forgotten it. not even like 'oh no what if i said#something bad!!' but more just the general sense of.. people create so much more ideas than they can actually hold in their heads. nobody#remembers exactly word for word every post they've ever made or etc. It's like parts of yourself that you've externalized and then fade awa#from you but they're still you but they're not so you just have little snapshots of yourself in time floating around entirely unbenknownst#to you. like making clones of yourself and then forgetting you did so but every once in a while going 'shit... there's clones out there..#of me and I don't even have track or awareness of them anymore.. what an odd concept..' etc. not EXACTLY like that ghbj..you know what I me#n.. or maybe you dont.. hrmm... ANYWAY#I am just now slightly recovering from my most recent mysterious illness spell and etc. so I would like to post more again and mAYBE even#do a costume if I'm being ambitious.. but after so many times of being randomly stricken by problems I'm now fearful of ever being too#hopeful lol.. always like 'I would like to go to the grocery store tomorrow! .... MAYBE.. if i CAN.. possibly... NOT getting my hopes up'.#etc. etc. etc. every statement has a caveat and a backup plan and so on and so forth and such is life.. anyway. happy birthday evil tumblr
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also i've been working on my pmd2 exclusive item name project as i've been watching these episodes. just finished writing down the official names for gens 1-4 so now i have to come up with my own name ideas for items for newer pokemon
#bwark#and also alternative names for older pokemon with boring items names. for fun#if anybody wants to suggest any item names for a specific pokemon then i'm open to ideas ^_^
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I watched the BC movie with friends and I have a lot of thoughts about it. I loved the animations, the voice actors, the fights, the teamworks. It’s a must watch movie for every Black Clover fan.
However the movie also reminded me why I think Clover Kingdom is a shitty hellhole of a place with no hope for changing and that Julius is an incomptent Wizard King and the Black Bulls should’ve been vigilantes or anti-heroes or their own self-proclaimed squad untied to the system that is built to discriminate them.
I like this series but it’s full of hypocrisy and pro-authority agenda that were only ever truly highlighted by Zora before he also ended up indirectly serving it.
(TW: rant in tags).
#not a quote#black clover#black clover movie#sword of the wizard king#black clover critical#reminder that we could've been given a full outlaw!bbs arc if and only if julius minded his fkn business and let damnatio strip their titles#someone already rebel against this system and overthrow the royality for lumiere's sake#it's 'losing my respect on julius' hours right here#first zara then jien now conrad?!?!?#just how many friends of yours should fall in despair and suffer because of the royals you're serving until you open your eyes?!#genuinly surprised he didn't give william the cold shoulder- THEN AGAIN william is also a pro-authority follower so it makes sense#yami's life supposedly turned for the better after meeting julius but I'm starting to think it wasn't as positive as it sounds#'cause the alternative would be The Black Bulls. The Outlaws. The Self-Proclaimed Squad we deserve but never get#anyways we don't support clover kingdom in this blog#black clover rant
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Introducing Spinster Pepper!! 💕
I got a few pictures of him eating as well, under the cut if you’d rather not see!
You can see just how tiny he is here lol - he’s in his food enclosure, aka a salt/pepper shaker hehe ♥
I don’t know why he pulled the mealworm up the wall with him, he caught it on the floor of the shaker lol
Probably the best shot I have of his abdomen - look at those beautiful markings! 💖
World’s most wonderful little hunter <3
#Spider#Phidippus#I haven't been able to ID him yet but he seems like a Phidippus of some variety - not an Audax and not a Regius but I don't know which one!#If I had to guess based on his markings he seems like either a Princeps or Johnsoni#Both very beautiful spiders :)#And both easy to tell male or female once they're fully matured!#I call him ''he'' but that's just a guess based on the size of his abdomen - he's much plumper now that he's eaten haha#But that's my guess! I'll find out as he grows more - as you can see he's still quite tiny so his pedipalps aren't a clue yet#He is - So cute <3 <3#So Smol has been accompanying me on my spider hunts recently - we found a few juveniles at our local library which were very cute!#Too small to bring home just yet but very pretty :D Black and white but not zebras - if I get the chance I'll try to ID them next time#But this little one was a surprise#We ended up in a thread-spinning shop and smol noticed him first - she also was a smart lad and brought the catch cup with <3#It didn't even occur to me to do so but I'm so glad she did - although he's so small that he was able to slip out through the air slats!#He was hanging out on the ceiling of the shop and we got permission to bring him with from the spinner and she was so cute about it haha#Told some spider stories of the other resident spiders that she'd noticed over the years ah <3 Really lovely!#And I got to talk a little about jumping spiders and their intelligence and how they move and observe and just <3 <3#So since the catch cup couldn't contain him we had to think up an alternate solution - and luckily one of the other shops had some ♪#Specifically a matching glass salt and pepper shaker which he - adorably ;; - tried to escape by sticking his little legs out the holes#I was most concerned of getting him to eat! Since some spiders don't take well to captivity so I was willing to release him if need-be#But I was so set on calling him Spinster Pepper from how we found him and transported him home hehe <3#As you can see he took to eating no problem! Which is good because he was quite thin when we brought him home#And it took me a little bit to remember how to get Jumpers to eat lol he couldn't find the mealworm(s) in the big enclosure#I actually got to watch him hunt - watch as the mealworm wiggled and back off and come around the side and strike! Ah <3#He's also So silly lol - the enclosure I bought has a soft open-sided pre-built nest that I pushed up into the corner for him#He's successfully gotten on top of it! Very clever! But - lol - he doesn't seem to realize that it's open and that he can go inside#So this silly little spider has opted to make his little pocket-hammock /on top/ of the pre-built nest. He is So Silly <3#I also swear he was watching me as I watched him a few nights ago :) So curious! Obviously recognizes a big shadow but what is that?? Hehe#He runs laps around the top of the enclosure and I'm pretty sure I can see the streaks from where his belly and legs rub against the inside#He's too adorable I'm love this spider so bad already ♥
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had another dream about you guys
#it was an alternative universe like heavily influenced by cyberpunk but a very early version where things were just rolling out#and the net didn't collapse just yet#I was still me no surprise and I still ran writing blogs same old same old#it was a relatively normal dream except for the fact it was me from the current universe and awareness peering into it#I was looking at posts on my blog I never remember making#Followers who I don't ever recall seeing. Stories I never wrote of games I never heard about bu clearly in my writing style all the same#There were videos and pictures on me phone of myself that i never took#I didn't realise it's a dream but I did get confused at the new reality i was thrown in#It was literally me i woke up in the body of. Same age. Same family#Different house tho... and the sky outside was really different#I didn't have any cyberware tho#There were posts on my blog of me discussing getting one and you guys encouraged me. One of you was even a ripperdoc who sent me recs#but also that “ripperdoc” was on anon so#it was mostly boring and uneventful. Just a window into another universe#equally as dystopian as ours but hey i still held my love for writing in that one and had readers!#But judging from the other me's posts... they were still depressed and suicidal. Alarmingly so and so open about it online#While I recovered from these things gradually through the years and help of therapy & family support#but they also talked... weirdly in past text conversations i scrolled through?#By weirdly i mean normally they talked very normally and typically of an average person my age#while i talk like a weirdo (affectionately) virtue of nd and other things. like this isn't a bit I really talk how I write sometimes#either way wow those alternative universe readers sucked#so glad I'm in this one instead#i need to play less cyberpunk...#☆other#☆dreams
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