#i'm also gonna miss most of the playoffs this year as i'm going on a trip around continental europe for four weeks

[icedhockey]

just a quick rundown of who i'm gonna be rooting for in the first round in case anyone wants to blacklist:

DAL v. VGK WPG v. COL VAN v. NSH EDM v. LAK

FLA v. TBL BOS v. TOR NYR v. WSH CAR v. NYI

[alchemistc]

i wanna start out by saying ive been patiently waiting for a hockey AU on the bucktommy fandom and your Goon fic is everything i have ever wanted, im honestly obsessed with your characterization of tommy

i have never been that big on rpf in the hockey fandom, but i always love reading people write crosby in their hockey aus, also love how you include Hockey Lore TM in the story

so, i wanted your take on the insane 'tradition' (not really tradition, more of a common occurrence) of players playing through injuries specially in the playoffs (I remember that in the 2016 or 2017 cup run, there was more players currently injured on the penguins than not, pretty sure Letang or Daley had like, broken fingers for most of the last round) and how many times Buck had to run away from Hen so he could play, because if anyone is more likely to play through injuries, i'd say is Evan "i-had-another-surgery-instead-of-waiting-for-my-leg-crush-injury-to-heal-naturally" Buckley, or Evan "I-sued-my-job-because-they-wouldnt-let-me-do-said-job-after-said-leg-crush-injury-and-vomitting-blood" Buckley

Thank you thank you! Goon has been so much fun to craft, and I'm loving seeing the hockey fans and the 'what's a chiclet' 9-1-1 fans alike enjoy it!

Personally? I hate it. I think the whole idea of it is fucking insane and detrimental to not only their physical health but their mental health as well. (From the Avs fan perspective, regardless of what we actually know about the Nichushkin situation, the man broke his foot and played through it, likely got addicted to a painkiller in the recovery process, missed a playoff series because of [redacted], had a career fucking year and then sent himself to the Players Assistance Program, came back, had MORE career highlights, and then...failed a drug test in the run up to the playoffs and got himself suspended.

(Another reason players just play through injury and mental health crisis is the Players Assistance Program, which IS ANOTHER MAJOR FAILING OF HOCKEY CULTURE IN GENERAL)

Hell, Landy played through a not-healed-injury after he took Cale's skate to his knee and now he's had two surgeries and may never make another appearance in a game because of it.

(I can't think of the player at the moment, but I remember a cup run where a player was playing with fractured ribs and it was later revealed that if he'd taken a puck or a nasty hit or gone into the boards wrong there was a chance he'd have had a vital organ punctured and likely wouldn't have known the extent of the damage until he'd collapsed from internal bleeding. It didn't happen, but WHAT THE FUCK)

And fans have a tendency to glorify them as gods for 'fighting through the pain' in their quest for the Cup.

As far as Goon goes:

They're all gonna be playing through injury. SInce this is from Tommy's perspective, he's coming at it from two angles - he's the guy who's played through injury his whole career just to keep a spot in the lineup, he's toughed it out and dealt with the numbing agents and the wraps and the twinge that doesn't go away for weeks at a time (and the aforementioned pain killers that eventually prompted him to go to fucking therapy in the first place). He is also the guy who has spent four years unpacking why exactly he did that - how much of it is the culture, how much of it is his own shit and his dad telling him to rub some dirt in it and stop being a pussy, how much of it has just been to prove himself capable of being one of the guys in the room.

There's also Hen, who pushes harder than the other trainers, and calls out the bullshit when she sees it, so yeah, this team probably has a slightly better track record of keeping the guy out with upper body injury out of the lineup for longer than any other team would, but - Buck's not the only one who's learned how to lie about exactly how much pain he's in and how well his recovery is going. He'll strain shit and refuse to admit it, he'll push through on a 'minor' injury unless he thinks playing on it would threaten his career. (He absolutely has NO real concept of how bad an injury actually is, tbh, because like everyone else he's been lying about it for so long he doesn't have an accurate pain scale.)

The tldr of this is that I don't condone it, but the reality is it's so ingrained in kids coming up that it's a reality of the culture and I'm not necessarily gonna shy away from that. It's not a huge focus of the story, but there will be hints here and there.

[dleena2023]

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

beloved zofgk & ktr

today is the day of arafah! and alhamdulillah i'm fasting now 😃 it's my first time fasting on arafah because usually i'm unable to due to abc or i just... didn't care about it much. it's kinda suprirising to say this but this year is actually my first time reading that the first 10 days of zul hijjah are the best days of the year 🥲 either i really didn't know that or i have read but the info didn't process and harbour in my mind. but nevertheless alhamdulillah, i learnt something new today 🤍 and in sha Allah on this day of arafah, where if you fast, your sins from the previous year and next year will be forgiven. and your deeds will be multiplied by a loooot. in sha Allah. and tomororrow is adiladha already, and i tried to learn how to solat sunnat hari adilfitri haha and alhamdulillah it looked confusing at first but it's actually easy. 2 raka'at tambah some takbir hehe. may i have the rezeki to solat sunat adilifitri in the monring (for the first time jugak!) di masjid + volunteering along the way cos i signed up for it hehehe. a bit nervous because i'm going alone🥺but issokay, Allah is always there for me. so i have nothing yo worry about in sha Allah amin.

in about excatly 2 hours time (as i am typing this, the clock striked 2.30pm!) my bois, you will be playing against your longest nemesis & soulmate aka geng 😹 i know i know, it's gonna be really tough and it feels impossible just to beat them because we have never won over them for the past like 2 years? even in lck season too... and the idea of winning against them just seems.. unattainable. it's like we have a barrier against them or something. or like the universeis just against us and don't want us to win over them for some reason hmmm. and i know you bois will definitely feel frustrated, like whyyy?!?!??! we are almost close! we almost win against them! but in the end, it just didn't happen 😣 and to think about it... i guess good things take time, right? so even if we might not win against geng today, i just hope that each one of you know that it's another medium for us to constantly improve on ourselves and as a team, okay! let's draft and communicate megaaaaaaa well today! let's take today's match as an opportunity to adapt the current meta well, learn from our mistakes , be better and be more confident. also my dearest coaches, pls do give guma some good carry adc champs!! we miss him playing some carry champs!! no more senna duty pleasee let's us cook many dishes during this summer season!! manifesting for today and throughout the season!!💫 and for my beloved bois, let's play safe with no regrets and most importantly, to have fun and faith in yourselves and each other. although it's only the 1st week of summer but let's not be complacent and do our best to play well, okay fightingggg!!! let's qualify for playoffs and secure a spot in worlds! my prayers and do'a-do'as are for you as well so never lose hope!! nothing is impossible if you believe. and against geng? oh, we will win. WE WILL DEFINITELY WIN. in sha Allah. will be rooting for each one of you from the beginning till the end through thick and thin. no matter what :) take care loves and see you guys soon in an hour plus!!😘❤️‍🔥🤍🌹

doing well individually;

but even better as a team

rooting and believing in zofgk always

addie

here are some loves so support the boissss, take one each! :

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[marmolita]

another episode of "Lita listens to chiclets so you don't have to," notes from Jordan Martinook chiclets interview from April 5, 2022:

Rod treats all the guys equally and won't hesitate to chew out Aho or Svech if they're fucking up (he didn't say "fucking up," he said "going off the rails"), which is good for all the other guys because it shows them that everyone is held to the same standard

that said he doesn't call people out personally in front of other people, like he might pull up video and be like "this isn't how we do it" and if you're the guy in the video you're like 😓 but he doesn't name names

Jordan Staal is "a Clydesdale," goes out and works hard every night

if he gets mad and snaps then everybody listens, but mostly he leads by example

the Finns all have short fuses. KK slams the bench door really hard when he's mad and might have the shortest fuse but Aho and Teräväinen also get angry pretty easily. (This was in response to a question about who on the team is most likely to lose their temper.)

Marty started the pregame yelling in Svech's face because Svech was nervous his first few games and now he just does it more for himself than for Svech. Svech isn't superstitious but he hasn't told Marty to stop so he's gonna keep doing it

Svech and Aho both have ridiculous work ethics and are always working all the time. Svech stays at the rink working on his shot until he gets blisters on his hands. Marty compared him to Jagr.

they stopped doing the complex storm surges at least partly because it was exhausting trying to think of so many ideas for it and they were winning so many games it was kind of overwhelming

when asked what kind of things Aho does well that people might not notice, he said that Aho has really good puck pressure, always puts himself in the right place, is right on the defender's hip, etc

the thing that Rod gets mad about as far as when they're not playing well is if they try to get cute with fancy plays on the blue line, which lead to turnovers and goals against. Seems like he'd rather have them dump it in than try to take on a defender one on one or whatever.

Jarvy is great and seems beyond his years in maturity (unclear if he meant on-ice only or both on and off ice). He wasn't as nervous as Svech was when he started which is why Marty didn't start screaming in his face too

Jarvy didn't try to get cute or fancy when he came into training camp, just bought in and worked in the system from day one, and they were all impressed by that

Jarvy talks like a surfer and they joke that he was a hippie or surfer or something in a past life

Marty said he thinks Pesce and Skjei are one of the best D pairs in the league, and their whole D corps is very solid

y'all may not want to hear this part but I'll put it in because he did talk about it, pls remember I'm just summarizing what Marty said and don't come at me or whatever: he said that at first when they brought in DeAngelo he wasn't sure how it would go because the two of them had kind of gotten into it in the playoffs in the past but they agreed to put it behind themselves at the start of the season and everything has been great. Marty said he couldn't say enough good things about him, he's a funny guy in the room, didn't miss a beat joining the team, etc.

He said a lot of good things about Trochek, and how he does everything for them, powerplay, PK, etc. He said he hopes they resign him for next season.

the golfing with Harry Styles thing came up. It seems there's some exclusive golf club some of the guys are members of and Harry Styles wanted to play there and somehow Justin Williams was involved in setting it up.

Marty has a cute dog named Gus

random observation but every time Marty was talking about Aho he started to say "Fishy" and had to correct himself, like "Fi-- Aho"

[thehallstara]

20 for the ask thing :3c

Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?) okay bare with me i'm about to get so incredibly self indulgent this is all about the twine hence the spoilers wahoo lets go

OKAY so the biggest and probably most obvious one is the colours!! by which i mean: the dark backgrounds are things that didn't happen while the light ones were memories!! so much of this fic was me colour coding shit and hoping it made sense lol also on the colour thing i only used red text for like. big moments

uhhhhh what else. pretty much everyone mentioned during the interlude sequences for the vault are either ffs shadows players or ffs npcs (carlos and mrs weatherspoon are two of my favourite grand siesta npcs we made and zion is zion punchface, ty is tyler leatherman who are both og shadows, and tucker is tucker thane who was our s17 playoff birth)

um the purple brackets in the desert are mx chicago fun fact little fact just for me :)

“Yeah? Well, when do I get to see that 7 foot vertical leap then?” “They got that wrong, you know.” “Oh?” “It's 8 feet.”

is a reference to edric's wiki page that i think about far too much. also the spirit of violence stuff is like og s3 wiki lore where we said (with agreement with the tigers) that edric, paula, and josh recieved part of landry when they got hit with performance enhancing demons and i think about it so much especially bc we subsequently lost all of them

for the aus i really tried to still stick to the actual dates of those seasons and stuff so like for the hall rivers really did pitch both the game that josh died and the one kirby came back in and it kills me so much. oh, and the figure who materializes next to edric at the end of the hall sequence is cedric gonzales :)

oooo okay here's another one: the first bit of the edric drowning bit is an expanded scene that was mentioned in light that shines! and the edric and atlas scene in the middle of the horizon section was actually taken from a prequel to that fic that i was working on all the way back in feb, just rewritten a little!!

i knew the whole fic was leading to edric missing the funeral; to me, it was always gonna be the pivotal moment. that's why you see so many little references to it scattered through, but the part where we revisit his dad's funeral is probably my favourite callback in the whole thing– it's just these two moments juxtaposed 60 years apart and i'm very proud of it.

i love using actual game text in my stuff and there's a couple examples of that here: loot quotes for the opening and end mainly! also this is one fun thing for me but all the bon ever quotes are from songs i was listening to a lot while writing those sections (i listened to a lot of bon ever writing this thing oops)

god this is so long sorry i think that's it thank you lol

[noelacciari]

alright this is kinda bad but I'm gonna ask anyway. so I'm a new/casual hockey fan and this girl I'm friends w is super into hockey and I'm kinda having to bluff my way through convos rn so could you give me a basic summary of the roster and stuff pls :)))

okay babe, so this is how we’re gonna set this up for you… personality quiz style. (also wait I’m assuming you mean Bruins so. im very sorry if this was about another team lol)

Step 1: pick your star

- Do you strive for perfection? Do you look for stability in a relationship? Can you appreciate a good beard? Do you need a perfect man to project all your feelings regarding men onto and then you never have to even look at another man in real life? Then Patrice Bergeron is the guy for you. He’s perfect. Like legit. Has been nominated for the Selke Award (best defensive forward) approximately a gazillion times, eventually they’re going to change it to The Bergy. Gorgeous play maker, dominate on the face-off circle. Quiet leader in the room. A pillar of the Boston community. The only person who can tame Marchand (we’ll get to him later). Every person in New England is AT LEAST 30% in love with him, regardless of sexual orientation. (I’m not even kidding). Future Hall of Famer. Without a doubt. (Forward (Center), #37, first line)

- Do you enjoy carbs? How about charming smiles? Do you enjoy men who toe the lines of fashion? Do you like a show, flashy lights and stunning tricks? Do you like people who make you smile, no matter how bad your day is? Then David Pastrnak is your man. Better know as Pasta (said with a deep Boston accent), he’s been tearing up the ice from the moment he arrived in TD Garden. A member of the Best Top Line in the League (alongside Bergeron - and that other guy who we will get to later). His goals are always absolutely nasty, just. Sexy, sexy hockey. Off the ice he’s sunshine personified, known for his chipped tooth smile, wearing checked suits and floral shirt, and just being generally the best. (Forward (winger), #88, first line)

- Are human sized chipmunks something you think would be pretty cool? How do you feel about Long Island? Would you think it’s funny if a guy who was a star player on a Boston team dated the daughter of a Pittsburgh coach? Do you think it’s even funnier if a guy who tweeted “I hate the Bruins” then proceeds to get drafted by them? Then Charlie McAvoy is your star d-man. At the ripe old age of 21, Long Island native Charlie McAvoy already carries a huge chunk of responsibility on the Bruins defense core. A future leader for the team (captain. imo), Charlie puts up incredible minutes, and is the perfect complement to his d-partner Zdeno Chara (we’ll get to him too). Also known as Cheeks (on tumblr) or Mac (by his teammates), Charlie isn’t afraid to throw his weight around on the ice, and he looks good doing it. Dude is a Bonafide Stallion. (Defense, #73, 1st Pair)

Step 2: Pick your Dad

- Are you vegetarian? How do you feel about EXTREMELY tall men wearing easter bunny onesies? Do you prefer to bike to work instead of taking the train? what about pigeons? If you consider pigeons friends, then Zdeno Chara is your new dad! (Boogie Woogie Woogie). You know how Bruins fans like to say - Don’t Poke The Bear? Well Big Zee is that hypothetical bear. Our beloved captain and father earned himself quite the reputation on the ice, known for his hard AF slap shots and even harder punches. Clocking in at 6′9″ and 250lbs, Zad is still a beast at 42 years old - and he apparently has no plans to retire. While his age doesn’t appear to be slowing him down on the ice, Zee has shown his softer side off the ice with his inspirational and extremely cute Instagram. He came into Boston in 2006 and was named Captain upon signing, and has forever changed the culture of the Boston Bruins. Chara facilitates an inclusive but hard working locker room, and his legacy will live on in Boston long after his retirement. (Defense, #33, first pair)

- Are you a dog person? Also are you American? Those are really the only 2 qualifications you need to chose David Backes as your dad. Although some of us older folks like me (at the stunningly old, reaching retirement age of 26) might consider Backes to be more of a daddy, the majority of Bruins tumblr view him as their Dad. Common nicknames include Dadkes and Papa, and his effect on the team after being brought back into the line-up during the playoffs has endeared him to fans. While his deal is… not great (he’s expensive!!) and he hasn’t performed up to how much money he’s paid, it’s clear that he’s a leader on the team. The young guys look up to him, and the older guys respect him, and that’s what we’s appreciates ‘bout him. Also. He LOVES animals. Backes and his wife Kelly (who have known each other since kindergarten how cute is that shit) have their own charity that helps animals!! (Forward (Winger/Center), #42, currently 2nd line)

- Were you really into magic as a kid (or currently)? Have you always gravitated to your one friend’s dad who was super quiet but super smart and taught you how to play chess at that cookout one time? Then your new dad is David Krejci! Sometimes called The Wizard, Krejci is known to make magic happen on the ice. Between no-look passes and somehow being able to know exactly where his wingers are going to be before they even know, tbh. Krej is probably the MOST underrated player on the Bruins, but he’s always dependable, and always seems to be there when you need him.  (Forward (Center), #46, 2nd Line)

Step 3: pick your weirdo

- Have you never eaten a vegetable willingly in your life? Do you consider yourself a chef - specifically for children? Do you think getting your teeth knocked out is fun and exciting? Then Jake “JD” DeBrusk is the dude for you! Goofy AF off the ice and a sniper on it, Jake is extremely worthy of being your chosen weirdo. He has a lucky winter hat named “tuukka” that he’s been wearing all playoffs, and he might only have one brain cell but we love him for it. At one point called a draft bust, Jake has been proving himself to be an elite player, and has been a steady winger for Krejci all season. Plus. He’s cute af. (Forward (winger), #74, 2nd Line)

- Is getting under other people’s skin one of your favorite activities? Do you like to piss people off by being better than them at everything? Does licking someone’s face in the middle of a hockey game seem like a Good Idea to you? Back in step number one did you chose Patrice Bergeron as your Lord and Savior? Then Boston’s favorite Pest - Brad Marchand - is the guy for you! Brad started off as an undersized fourth liner, and has worked his way up to one of the top scorers in the league. Outside of Boston he’s probably the most hated player in the NHL - earning himself a reputation for being a pest (at best), and sometimes being dirty (at worst). This year we are proud to announce that he did not get suspended once! Though he did come in just short of 100 Penalty Minutes. Marchy was our top scorer this year, and has become an integral part of this team. (Forward (winger), #63, 1st Line)

- Are you secretly an arsonist? Are frogs your favorite animal? Do you have a crush on that Pretty Jock that’s in all your classes and sometimes smiles at you in the lunch line? Then Danton Heinen is the weirdo for you. Danton has been a quietly steady performer for the Bruins this season, spending time on the top line with Bergeron and Marchand when Pasta was out. He’s growing into quite the play maker, and he’s known for making good decisions on the ice that lead to goals. Danton also happens to look like a frog, which is an important character trait imo. He’s a tumblr favorite, but he’s a good person to like even in real life, because he makes an impact on the ice. (Forward (winger), #43, 3rd Line)

Step 4: chose your conventionally attractive white boy

- OKay we’re not doing the questions thing because judging by your ask you may not even be interested in men so i’m just going to dive straight into the description. He’s tall with a strong jaw and perfect curls and pecs of a God. Charlie Coyle is a Weymouth, MA native who Boston brought back home at the trade deadline. He’s been a bit of a hero this playoff run, and he looks damn good doing it. The B’s have been searching for a good 3rd line center, and Charlie has filled the role perfectly. Personally, I am deeply in love with him, in case you could not tell. (Forward (center/winger), #13, 3rd Line)

- an integral member of the Bruin’s all important Line 1A (aka the 4th line), Sean Kuraly has got it all. Piercing blue eyes? Check. Perfectly highlighted hair? Check. Cute little chin? Double check. Though he’s been photographed wearing jorts and an open flannel shirt with nothing underneath it, Sean is still a certified Babe. He’s been Klutch in every playoff run he’s had with the B’s, and is the scoring force behind the 4th Line’s brawn. Not to mention, his signature celly is a leap from the ice! (Forward, (center/winger), #52, 4th Line)

- Brandon Carlo… how do I begin to explain Brandon Carlo? Brandon Carlo is flawless. He has two bible tattoos and a designer bulldog. I hear his hair is insured for $10,000. I hear he does Tri-City Americans commercials… in Washington. His favorite movie is Miracle. One time he met David Backes on a plane… and he told him he was pretty. One time he punched me in the face… it was awesome (’cause he missed). In all seriousness though, Monte is a hardworking, defensive defenseman, who has really shone this season. He doesn’t show up on the scoreboard often, but he makes it really hard for other teams to get goals. Even though he struggles to score empty netters... he’s still a babe. (Defense, #25, 2nd Pair)

Step 5: Chose your shorty

- If you’re thinking - wait, shouldn’t Marchand be in this category? Isn’t he the smallest guy in the World? Then Torey Krug is the Short King for you. An ELITE offensive defenseman, Torey is absolute dynamite on the ice. In game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals Torey made history by becoming the first Bruins player ever to record 4 points in a stanley cup finals game. Krug is quick on his feet and can snipe from the blue line, but isn’t afraid to lay down the law when he needs to. Notorious for loosing his helmet so he can show off that flow, Torey also has a bulldog named fenway and a BABY on the way. (Defense, #47, 2nd Pair).

- Is talk shit, get hit a favorite saying of yours? Can you appreciate biceps the size of your head? Then Noel Acciari is your man. He might be short but he’s built like a tank, and he uses that bod to plow through guys on the ice. Noeldozer is known for laying down the cleanest hits, and we love when he takes out the trash! The Rhode Island Native got married last summer, and has a golden retriever named Thor. His mouth is currently fucked right up but I promise he’s actually kinda pretty. (Forward (winger/center), #55, 4th Line)

- Are you one of the apparent hoards of people that think a Boston accent is sexy? Could you get into a guy who says the fuck word on live television? Are collarbone tattoos a thing you admire? Do you like sexy, tough little son’s of bitches? Great! Matt Grzelcyk is the little guy for you. A BU grad who’s become a cornerstone of the Bruins d-core, Grz is a tough little cutie who works hard and gets shit done. More of an offensive defenseman, Matty G has been there for the team even when all of our other defenseman were injured. His Dad has worked at the Gahden for like a million years, and playing for the B’s is a dream come true for Matt and his family. He got taken out in Game 2 of the Finals, and the Bruins are currently seeking revenge. Dude’s got a good beard going too. (Defense, #48, 3rd Pair)

Step 6: Pick your goalie

- As much as we love Jaro, there’s only one goalie you need to know about when you’re learning about the Bruins... 2 U’s 2 K’s 2 Points... Tuukka Rask! The clear MVP of the Playoffs this year, Tuukka has been a brick wall in the net for the B’s. He’s known for being quick tempered and a little... wild, at times, having been caught on camera beating the shit out of a bunch of milk crates and on time brandishing a skate blade at the refs like a knife. Though some fans seem to never forgive Tuukka for the B’s loosing the 2013 playoffs, around these parts we love and respect and rely on his prowess in the net. Off ice, he kinda looks like the grinch (and knows it), though apparently Bergy thinks he looks like Harry Styles (i wish i was kidding). He’s also got 2 adorable little girls! (GOALIE, starter)

So now you’ve got 6 guys that you know about, right? I would pick 1 or 2 of those to be the ones you pay attention to. Listen for headlines about their goals/play, if you’re watching games, look for their numbers on the ice. All you gotta do is be able to say “Wow did you see that Coyle goal on Saturday night?” and all of a sudden you sound like an expert! (This works even better of you choose a guy not from the first category). 

If you have more questions about specific players or lines, feel free to reach out! I know not a lot but I know many people who actually do know things lol

(Also to any of Bruins tumblr who made it this far, I KNOW i’m missing your faves okay. Wagner, Clifton, Nordy, MoJo, Moore, and half the providence roster deserve a spot on here. But I’ve already written too much)

(Also Also, special thanks to Lil for helping me with Monte’s description) 

[fakingitfanfiction]

Just For Me: Chapter 46

Previous Chapters

Seven years from now

What if?

Well, that’s just a loaded fucker of a question isn’t it? The kind most people know better than to ask, but knowing better and doing better… well… those are two very different things. Especially for Amy.

As we’ve established. More than once.

But that was all younger Amy and this is older Amy (though not that much older, and still looking good for her age, or any age, or so Reagan says), but, honestly, it’ll probably still take years or maybe decades for that particular lesson to really sink in and, clearly, it hasn’t just yet.

If it had… well…

Her sister would be speaking to her right now, now wouldn’t she?

There are more than a few things she’s done in her life that Amy’s second guessed. Or triple guessed (thruple guessed?) or quadruple or… ‘whatever the fuck five is’ guessed. It’s part of who she is, in her nature - right down to her DNA, and thank you very fucking much Jack and Farrah - and her nurture. Her mother (and Karma) and her disappearing father (and Karma) and, basically, the entirety of her high school existence (and Karma), at least the parts before Reagan, had her questioning everything, even her gayness and, even now, she still spends far too much time doubting her choices.

Not about her gayness, though. But, you know, about things like using (or even thinking) the word 'gayness’. And not about Reagan - who, sometimes (read: all the times) Amy’s so very exceptionally glad is fluent in speaking Amy - or her choice to forgive Jack or being OK with Karma and Lucy (or OK-ish, it’s a work in progress) or her choice to let Reagan name Katie cause, let’s face facts.

Katharine is a far better name than 'little ball of snot and poop that never lets me sleep’ even if that one might still be more accurate.

But, of all those things, this one, this very specific and very definitive and very 'how can you be so fucking stupid, don’t you remember what he did, and oh… I just called you 'stupid’ and that’s why you’re giving me that look right now, isn’t it, well… tough titty, cause I'm right’ one is so not among those things she’s second or third or fourth or infinity and fucking beyond guessed cause this one is her sister and this one is Theo and this one is so clear cut and so obvious that there’s no way even she can have gotten it wrong.

Except… you know… what if?

He cheated on her, she says. Except 'says’ was kinda only in her head and so… “He cheated on her,” she says, again and out loud this time and, apparently, much to the surprise of her wife and her brother-in-law who’s, now, her brother-in-law twice (bro in law squared?) and yeah, she knows that he knows that Theo cheated, maybe better than all of them, so “Why do you look so fucking surprised?”

Glenn shrugs and Amy steams cause that’s his default answer to everything. You want another beer? Shrug. You think the Stars will make the playoffs this year? Shrug. Is Lauren 100% the best thing to ever happen to you? Shrug.

He slept on the couch for a week after that one and, if baby Martin hadn’t developed a wicked case of 'oh, if I can’t sleep, then no one can colic’, Amy suspects - quite rightly - that Glenn’s banishment might have been longer.

Like, you know, until forever.

But, really, a shrug? For this?

“She’s going to invite him,” Amy says - and she makes sure to say it out loud the first time, this time - and then she corrects herself. “She’s going to invite them.”

Reagan eyes her across the counter, pausing in mid-sip of her way too fucking hot coffee (Amy doesn’t know how to make it any other way and her wife wishes, like with all her heart, that that might be one of those things she’d second guess), one brow lifting off just slightly at the way she said 'them’, hushed, in a whisper, like it’s a state secret she’s gotta hide away or some tiny bit of profanity she doesn’t want the baby to hear, or as if, by saying out loud, she might just magically conjure 'them’ up and make 'them’ appear.

No matter what she says or does, Reagan can never quite convince Amy that Harry Potter isn’t secretly real. It’s like a fucking religion with her, which she supposes - all religions considered - could be worse.

“Them,” Amy says, again, a bit louder this time as Glenn, apparently, didn’t reply fast enough and, Reagan knows, in the language of 'Amy’, speed often equals volume, which is annoying in conversation, but can be kinda… fun… in certain other ways. But this is not one of those ways and when Glenn shrugs - again - Amy wishes (almost out loud) that she could put him on the fucking couch.

(Not the fucking couch, as in the place of the fucking, but the other kind of fucking couch and no, she doesn’t really know how to explain the difference but see, this is what happens when that damn man gets her all worked up like this.)

(And not worked up like that and oh, that all sounded less dirty before she said it so, fortunately, she only said it to herself.)

(This time.)

What kind of couch doesn’t matter (much) cause what does matter is that “She’s going to invite her ex-husband and his wife and their kid to your son’s baptism.” Amy’s damn near yelling now and Reagan hopes Lolo stays upstairs with the baby cause, really, the silent fucking War of the Roses thing she and Amy have going on now is bad enough without Amy finding a way to make it worse.

You know, like Amy does.

“He’s her son, too, you know,” Glenn says, without so much as even a hint of a shrug and Amy immediately misses it, though she doesn’t miss the smirk on her wife’s face - Reagan loves the way her brother can get under her wife’s skin - and oh, someone’s definitely gonna be couching it tonight. “And,” Glenn adds, much to Amy’s even further annoyance, “she can invite whoever she’d like. What do you want me to do? Forbid her?” He shakes his head. “I’m not Lauren’s boss, Amy.”

That, it should be noted, was in their wedding vows.

I, Glenn Ramon Solis, promise to love, honor, and cherish you, Lauren Elizabeth Cooper, and to always remember that I am your partner and that you are not the boss of me, usually, just as I am not the boss of you.

Ever.

Amy remembers the words (almost as clearly as she remembers trying not to snort out loud at the ceremony) and she knows Glenn takes his vows seriously, like they were, you know, vows and that that isn't just because he’s (rightfully) terrified of his wife.

It’s also (read: mostly) (read: like sickeningly, worshipfully, damn near painfully) cause he loves his wife, in a way Amy didn’t know anyone could love anyone else - at least anyone that wasn’t her and Reagan - and in a way that makes her almost grateful Theo was (is) such a dirty, rotten cheating fuckwit.

If she could have chosen a man for her sister, Amy knows that man would have been a lot like Glenn.

Just, you know, a little less shrug-y and a lot more listening to her-y.

Amy hangs her head - sensing defeat, already - and curses under her breath, dropping a nearly inaudible 'mierda’ (with an almost passable accent), and Reagan smiles at the way her wife’s still stuck in the habit of swearing in Spanish, the little trick they picked up when Katie was still a tiny tiny and they were trying not to expose her to 'all the Goddamned profanity you two use’, as Farrah put it (without a single drop of irony.) Spanish - and a bit of French and a couple of really useful all purpose Portuguese cusses Karma taught them - was their compromise when going cold turkey just didn’t work.

After all, asking them to cut the four letter words out of their vocabulary was like asking Amy to cut bacon out of her diet or asking Karma to cut plans out of her… plans… or asking Lauren to stop hating Theo and… oh…

Yeah. Maybe, apparently, not the best example.

Amy knows she’s not going to convince Glenn to put his foot down and knows even better that it would only result in a foot up his ass if he did, so she tries another angle. “So, you’re telling me that you're OK with this?” she asks and Glenn doesn’t shrug (so Amy doesn't punch) but he also doesn’t say 'yes’ or 'no’ or 'not exactly’ or, even, 'Lauren’s OK with it and since I’d like to sleep in my bed sometime before my son gets to high school, yes, I’m just fucking fine with it and thank you for asking’ so, clearly, he’s somewhat less than OK and while that probably doesn’t matter, it’s still something.

Something, Reagan knows, Amy’s going to seize on and not let go and while there are certain times (read: in bed) (read: or the shower or the beach or that one time in the Planter’s parking lot) when she’s so very grateful for her wife's… determination… this doesn’t strike her as one of those times. “Shrimps, baby, maybe this is something you should leave for Lolo and -”

Remember that question? What if?

What if, in that moment, Amy doesn’t hold up a hand to shush her wife? Or, what if, she doesn’t shush her and walk right past her - like she’s not even there - crossing the kitchen to stand just a bit closer to Glenn? Or, what if, she doesn't ignore Reagan’s warning and doesn't keep right on pushing the issue and doesn’t, as only Amy can, make it even worse by not noticing Lauren standing in the kitchen door?

Well, if Amy hadn’t done any of that, then maybe she wouldn’t have had to spend an hour that night trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in on the recliner in her office cause she sure as fuck wasn’t sleeping in the bed and oh, funny thing, Reagan just happened to… suggest to Katie (the kid) and Lucky (the lab) and Ruby (the beagle) that they have a 'camping out night’ on the couch.

And oh, if only that had been her only problem. But it wasn’t - it so wasn’t - cause, see, as little as Amy’s learned about not second guessing herself, she’s learned even less about recognizing signs, like when someone knows something but, really, that something is none of your business or when, maybe, there’s a secret that someone - or a couple someones, or maybe a thruple of someones - is keeping and you ought to just fucking trust them that keeping it from you is for your own good.

Or, you know, theirs.

“He fucking cheated on her, Glenn,” Amy says, still ignoring Reagan’s frantic and almost pained and pleading 'Shrimps’. “Theo cheated on her in her bed and he broke her heart and he ruined her damn life.”

The words leave her mouth and she hears them but she doesn’t quite believe them or, at least, believe that they came from her - or that the gasp she hears behind her comes from her wife or that the 'what the fuck, Amy’ from the door comes from her sister - and Amy wants to say she’s sorry, she wants to say she didn’t mean it (she didn’t, at least not like that) and she wants Glenn to shrug, to just blow it all of cause, you know, that’s what he does, except that he doesn’t.

He doesn’t even look at her and if there was a couch nearby right then and there, Amy would exile herself to it immediately but then Glenn does look up - at his wife - and she nods, slowly and he turns back to Amy and, funnily enough, we’re back to where we started.

Back to that question.

“But what if,” Glenn says. “What if he didn’t?”

Five Years Ago

The knock comes a few days after Theo expected it would and the face on the other side of the door… well… it’s not the one (or the pair) he planned on, but he knows that he shouldn’t be at all surprised.

But he is.

(Also: he’s grateful, for more than one reason, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.)

“I thought for sure she’d send Tyson and Holyfield,” he says, stepping to one side so Glenn can come in. In truth, he’s a more than a little bit relieved Lauren didn’t send her sister and her best friend. That might have gotten ugly and painful.

For, you know, him. And, you know, more ugly and painful than this already is cause it’s plenty ugly - getting caught with your pants down is usually like that - and it's more than plenty painful cause, you know, getting caught with your pants down by your wife with someone who is so not your wife gives said wife one hell of an easy target for her very very so fucking very pointy toed shoes.

Theo walked with a limp for a week and even he knows that was the least of what he deserved.

Glenn steps into the house and it feels fucking weird, kinda like he hasn’t done it a million times before, but, of course, back then it was Theo and Lauren’s and now… it's not. Maybe it’s still the same house, with all the same rooms and all the same furniture and the same everything, but it’s not the same, not at all, and he can’t help wondering if Theo feels it too. “You do still remember I was a soldier, right?”

He doesn’t even look at Theo - he’s not entirely sure he’s going to be able to, not without getting a bit… upset or, truthfully, more upset - but he does hold up one hand, wiggling his pinky finger in the other man’s direction and he feels it, the shift in the air, as Theo leans up against the door, fidgeting just slightly further away, out of 'I can kill you with a finger’ (and would) (he absolutely fucking would, if Lauren would just let him) range and yeah…

Message received.

Reagan and Amy might have punched him (not might) and it might have hurt (oh, it so fucking would), but Theo knows he would’ve gotten back up from that - Liam and Jack did and, face it, he’s bigger and stronger than either of them though, apparently he’s also more of a fucking shit, which no one would have thought possible - but if Glenn decided to get physical?

All he’d need was someone to tell him where to hide the body. And Theo's got a pretty good inkling that Lauren would have all kinds of good ideas about that.

“Everything you’re here for is over there,” Theo says with a nod, careful to keep himself just out of reach - like that would really help - indicating the three stacks, a trio of cardboard mountains, box upon box, packing tape begetting packing tape and even though all the stacks are so very clearly - like in big bold permanent black marker letters clearly - marked 'Lauren’, Glenn can’t resist playing the asshole, just a little.

“Which ones?” he asks with a smirk that shifts to a grin - and not the 'yo, man, s'up?�� grin the two men usually shared - as he hears Theo sigh behind him. It’s settling in, Glenn knows, the slow realization that nope, he’s not going to make this any easier - though a bit potentially less physically painful - than his sister and her wife would have.

Theo points, risking his putting his arm in striking distance. “To the left,” he says.

He shouldn’t. Glenn knows he shouldn’t. He knows there’s nothing funny about this - and if he thought there ever was, the memory of Lauren sobbing herself to sleep on his couch every night for the last three weeks has easily disabused him of that - and he knows all too very fucking well that this Theo is not the same Theo he shared beers with and watched basketball with and hung out with while they both did everything they could (which wasn’t always enough or even close to it) to ignore that they were both in love with the same woman.

This, he knows, is no time for jokes. But, come on. 'To the left?’

It comes out without warning and - he’ll claim till the day he dies - without him even choosing to say it. It’s a blurt, an impulse that skips the brain and goes straight to the tongue and, before he can stop himself, Glenn’s singing (or what passes for singing with him.) “To the left, to the left,” he croons. “Everything you own in a box to the left…”

Theo snorts behind him and, for just a second, they're… them… again and, for just that same second, they both forget that they’re never going to be 'them’ again. They’ve always made an odd pair, shoved together by being the only 'boys’ in their little family and no, Liam didn’t count cause he was always on the outside looking in and Lauren may have forgiven but Theo never ever did, or would and Shane was a guy, but… well…

Shane’s a guy and a good one at that and they both love him but he's Shane.

They were brothers, of a sort, not like legally or anything - the brother in law of a sister in law doesn’t have an exact term, like an in law twice removed or some such shit - but, if you asked anyone, they’d be hard pressed to think of a Raudenfeld or Solis family gathering that hadn’t seen Theo and Glenn holed up somewhere, usually with Bruce, talking basketball and football and whatever other balls came up.

And ignoring the fuck out of the tiny blonde elephant in the room.

Theo hums a few bars and then he catches himself, realizing a few notes too late that he’s not meant to be enjoying this moment, like not at all. It feels, to him, kinda like he’s cheating all over again.

Sort of.

(Getting ahead again. Just wait.)

“Didn’t know you knew Beyonce,” he says which is, clearly, among the most ridiculous things he’s ever said cause who doesn’t know Bey?

Glenn shrugs. “Not like I’m a card carrying Beyhive member,” he says, eyeing the stacks of boxes. “But she was clearly the best of Destiny’s children, you know?”

He glances back at Theo and, not for the first time, there’s a rush of anger, of crippling sadness, of blood burning anger that comes over him and he has to look away, lest he find himself doing something about it. He wonders if Theo really gets what he’s done, if he understands just how far and how wide and how deep the damage he’s done reaches. The Theo he knew would’ve, he’d have totally gotten it.

But then, Glenn figures, the Theo he knew wouldn’t have done it in the first place. That Theo never would have brought home some skanky little… skank and he sure as hell wouldn’t have touched her or kissed her or…

Glenn focuses on the boxes, on the neatly stacked,secured, and packed away remnants of Lauren’s former life - and it is her life, that Glenn’s thinking about (mostly) - and tries not to wonder how he could have ever misjudged someone so badly.

And ignore that nagging little tug at the back of his head that just says no fucking way cause, obviously, fucking way. Lauren saw.

She saw.

Theo speaks up and brings Glenn back to reality. “I’m…” He shakes his head at the crack, the tiniest little hiccup of a thing, in his voice and God, how he’s wishing it really had been Amy and Reagan on the other side of the door cause at least maybe he’d be unconscious for this. “I’m, um, gonna grab a beer and hang out on the porch,” he says. “Better to be out of the way like that.”

Glenn nods like it’s the most logical thing he’s ever heard - and it does make sense - and keeps right on staring at those boxes as Theo slips past him and on down the hall and then, and only then, does he steal a glance at the stairs, a move he immediately (is there something sooner?) regrets..

Lauren, maybe you should wait…

What if, he wonders - for about the one zillionth time - she’d listened to him. What if she hadn’t charged up those stairs and down the short hall and through her bedroom door (for what would be the last time) and found… well…

The end. That’s what she found. The fucking end. Kinda literally.

Glenn’s tried so very hard to not blame himself, mostly cause he knows that’s just stupid - he wasn’t the one who hadn’t managed to keep it in his pants, after all - but it’s hard (absolutely

no pun intended) not to feel at least a little responsible. He’d seen the car in the drive, the car that wasn’t Theo’s, same as Lauren had. He’d heard the noises, the laughter and the moans and the voices that weren’t supposed to be there, same as Lauren had. He’d felt that sinking feeling in his gut, that sudden drop, like the world stopped turning and the gravity just fucking quit and he was left adrift, nothing to anchor him, all those things that had moored his life to normal just ripped away, even before he’d seen a thing.

Same as Lauren.

Or, you know, maybe not exactly the same, but close enough, it had all been close enough, they’d been two peas in a pod (they were 'twinning’, as his niece might say) right until that moment, right up until they weren’t. When he froze.

And Lauren didn’t.

Glenn’s tortured himself about it ever since. He’s laid awake so many nights, asking himself that same fucking question.

No. Not 'what if’.

Oh, he’s asked that too. What if he hadn’t froze, what if he’d done something - anything - other than calling out to her, so weakly, so meekly, so… so like he didn’t mean it, like he didn’t really want her to stop. And there it is, there’s the question Glenn’s been beating himself to a mental and emotional pulp with.

Why?

Why didn’t he stop her? Why didn’t he try harder? Why didn’t he do something to try and, at least, shield her from some of it? He loves her, or so he claims (in his head, only to himself, never once out loud except that one time to Katie, but who is she gonna tell?) and yet…

And yet he let her charge up those stairs - alone - and walk in on her husband with his pants gone and his mistress very much not gone and his hands on her hips and his lips on hers and

Glenn heard the muffled moan of a kiss interrupted by a scream (he’s never known if it was her or Lauren and he thinks, maybe, that’s better) and then…

It’s Lauren. You can imagine the 'and then’. Though, maybe, you might not want to.

He could have stopped her. OK… he could have tried and then, maybe, his conscience would be a bit clearer, maybe there’d be a bit less guilt and a bit less doubt and a lot more room in his head and heart for doing what he’s supposed to be doing, which is being Lauren’s friend, being supportive, and being the one (or, really, one of the ones) hating the fuck out of Theo for hurting her.

Except…

Except instead of doing what he’s supposed to be doing - literally, in this case, since he’s not walking those boxes out to his sister’s truck in the driveway - Glenn’s doing the exact opposite, instead of leaving, like he knows he should, he’s turning and walking into the house, through the kitchen, down the four stairs to the back, and out onto the porch and if Theo’s at all surprised to see him there, he doesn’t show it.

He probably expected it. A Solis staying when they should be going?

Must be in the DNA.

Glenn settles in the chair closest to the door, the one he always sits in, the only one that doesn’t have it’s back to the door and no, nobody ever asks why or what happened… over there… that left him with the unshakable need to limit the exposure cause, well, nobody ever asks anything about over there and he never talks about it.

Except to Katie on those nights when she was a tiny tiny and he babysat to give his sister and Amy a little break and he said a whole bunch of things he never should have said but, again, who is she going to tell?

(Besides, you know, her shrink when she’s older.)

“It doesn’t make sense,” he says and Theo doesn’t look at him or ask what 'it is’, though there’s a list of possible 'it’s’ a mile long. “I’ve gone over it and over it,” Glenn says, trying not to get a bit… bothered when Theo still just slowly sips his beer. “And all I ever come up with is that either you’re the stupidest fuck alive or…”

He trails off (yeah, cause the trail off ever ends well) and lets it dangle there, hanging between them, and if he’s waiting for a reaction?

He’s gonna be there a while.

'You remember the day she caught you?“ Glenn asks and yes, it is mostly a rhetorical question cause, duh, Theo’s probably got a vague recollection. "You remember where she was?”

The words 'with you’ trip off Theo’s tongue with the kind of ease reserved for basic facts of the universe: water’s wet, the sky’s blue, Liam Booker was a manwhore of epic proportions, you know, the obvious stuff.

Glenn’s surprised - just a bit - by the way it stings, by the sudden sharp pang of guilt he feels in his gut, like he’s the one in the wrong here, like he did something bad. He didn’t, not really, but he remembers enough Sunday school to remember there’s some sort of rule about not coveting another man’s wife, but coveting ain't cheating.

And rules? Don’t get Glenn started on rules.

Rule #1: Do the right thing, always, and you don’t need any more fucking rules.

Though, technically, coveting is probably not the right thing, but he’s just going to ignore that, OK?

“We had that conference,” he says, ignoring the insinuation he isn’t totally sure Theo meant to make cause, well, it’s easier that way. “The one for the mayor, to kick start his campaign for governor,” he says. “And it was supposed to run all day, remember? Till like five or six, at least.”

Theo takes another sip of his beer. A bit slower this time.

“We weren't supposed to be back,” Glenn says. His fingers are digging into the armrest of the chair, his nails chipping the wood, not that he notices. “We were supposed to be gone all day and then go to dinner after and we weren't supposed to be here then.”

'But you were’. That’s what Theo’s supposed to say. If there was a script for this -like the whole thing was some crazy ass plot twist cooked up by some whackadoo writer typing away at a tiny little computer at a tiny little desk and oh, then it would make so much more sense - then Theo’s next line would be 'but you were’ and he’d say it all bitter and angry like, as if it was Glenn’s fault that he and Lauren showed up when they did, like he was blaming everyone but himself like all the cheating asshats, like him, do.

Theo says nothing. Not a thing. Not a single fucking word and so, no, he’s not following the script, like not at all.

“She’s always figured that was it,” Glenn says, like 'always’ is 'forever’ or 'for so very long’ and not just for three tear filled weeks. “That was what made you think you could get away with it, why you thought… why you dared to bring her here.”

A schedule. A plan. A Lauren Cooper devised and laid out event (that went off without a hitch, that went off perfectly) that had a set start and end time and Theo had to know, he had to be so sure off all the timing cause, come on, it was 'Campaign by Lauren’.

Who could blame him for thinking it was safe?

Glenn stands, tugging his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through his messages. It takes him a minute - his phone’s been bombarded by texts recently, the 'I’m crying and alone at two in the fucking morning’ kind in particular - but he finds the one he’s looking for and reads it and then he reads it again.

Just to be sure.

T-Money: How’s it going? Everything on track?

He tosses the phone down on the table in front of Theo, and he’s not surprised - much - when he doesn’t even look at it, doesn’t even check the reply.

Or, you know, the evidence.

“I texted you back,” Glenn says, settling back down into 'his’ chair, hands on his knees. “I told you it was all going great, so great, better than even Lauren could have planned and we both know that’s gotta be pretty fucking awesome.”

Theo sips his beer and stares straight ahead. He says nothing, still.

But yeah, he knows.

Glenn runs one hand through his hair, which is kinda pointless since he still keeps it buzzed to his damn scalp and there’s nothing to run through, but it’s a nervous habit, a tic, the sort of thing he did when he was younger and he was asking Amanda King to the prom. He’s worried… no, not worried.

He's scared.

He’s fucking terrified, worried that he’s right and maybe a little more worried that he's not and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with either, but he’s still gotta try, he’s gotta push on cause, you know, he froze.

He owes her this much.

“I told you,” Glenn says. “I told you things were going to finish up early and we were going to stop home before the dinner.” He watches Theo’s fingers close tighter around the beer. “I told you we’d be here. You knew. You knew and you brought… her… here anyway.”

'What can I say’ and 'thrill of danger, the risk of getting caught’ and 'she got off on it’ all come spilling out of Theo in a jumble, a mess of words that run together and if that didn’t make them sound rehearsed - like he’s been waiting for this - the fact that he can’t even look at Glenn, that he pushes the beer and the phone away and lets his head fall into his hands…

Yeah, Glenn can read that tell. Hell… Karma could.

“You wanted to get caught.” Glenn says - fuck 'says’, he snarls - his hands balling into fists in his lap. “You wanted Lauren to see you with her, you wanted to hurt her -”

“It was the lesser pain,” Theo blurts and then cusses himself under his breath. He didn’t mean to say it, he’d sworn to himself that he wouldn’t. “This is why,” he mutters, “this is why I wished she’d send them.”

Amy and Reagan wouldn’t have pushed because they wouldn’t have known and, more to the point, neither of them would have cared. They’d have punched first, not asked questions at all, loaded all the boxes second and, probably, punched again.

And he’d have deserved them. That would probably be the only thing Theo might think that they’d agree with.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Glenn snaps. He’s forcing himself to stay in the chair - not that he’d actually, you know, use his pinky (probably) - trying to give Theo a chance to explain, even if he can’t, for the fucking life of him, think of anything that could explain any of this. “You think finding you and her was somehow 'lesser’?” His fingers curl the air quotes around the word as it burns its way off his tongue.

“There’s degrees, Glenn,” Theo says. “Degrees of everything. Love and hate and… pain. And yeah, as much as it killed her, Lauren finding us that way was the lesser pain, like a thousand degree burn compared to falling into the sun. I know it sucks and it’s ripping her up, but she’ll get through it.”

He says it like there’s another option and not just some other, fucking mythical pain that Lauren couldn’t get through. There’s no such thing, no such pain or challenge or obstacle she just can’t overcome. Glenn knows that. He’s sure of very little in this world, but he's positive of that.

“She’ll get through it by hating you,” he says. “By despising you and cursing you and regretting the day she ever met you.” All of which, he doesn’t mention, Lauren’s already doing in fucking spades. “And that, all of that anger and hate, it will burn like the sun, but it’ll never last. It just can’t. Sooner or later, it’s going to burn itself out and then? Lauren will be empty. You’ll have your little whore, but she’ll be alone and that’s what’s going to fill in those hollow, empty, burned out places you left in her.”

Theo snorts - a bitter and angry grunt of a thing and, really, where the fuck does he get off with that - and shakes his head, ignoring the bits about the damage he did (he doesn’t need Glenn to remind him, the ring still on his finger does that just fine) and focusing, instead, on the one thing that he can even kinda get upset about.

“I think we both know the last thing Lauren’s going to be is alone.”

And there it is. The heart of the matter. The elephant in the room who isn’t even there but can’t be ignored any more.

“Fuck you,” Glenn says - and so much for 'brothers’ - pushing his way up and out of his chair and now he’s the one with the burning suns scorching just beneath his skin. “If you think I would ever use this to -”

“I don’t,” Theo says and the edge has slipped from his voice, the knife edged words sheathed again. He slumps back over the table and Glenn doesn’t know what to make of it, or how to process the way this guy he thought he knew so well is shifting gears right in front of him. “I’d never think that. Not of you and not of her.” He laughs again and this time it’s almost genuine and not at all bitter of angry. “Hell, if you even tried, I’m pretty sure your sister would fuck your shit up, family or not.”

He’s not wrong.

“But you’ll be there,” he says. “Like you’re always there. Like you’ve stayed all along, when you knew her heart was somewhere else and you didn’t care.” Theo looks at him, finally, and it’s all right there in his eyes. “You love her. You love her the way that I did… the way I do… and that means you’ll stay.” He looks away, biting at his lip, the pain keeping the tears at bay. “Always.”

There’s an obvious retort, a clear comeback just teed up for him and Glenn sees it, right there, just waiting. But that’s just it, isn’t it? It's obvious, it's clear, it's easy and all of this, from them walking in on Theo and her to Lauren having his shoulder to cry on to Theo not even fighting the divorce at all - he offered her the house, for fuck’s sake (she said no) (for, again, all the obvious reasons) has been like that.

Obvious. Easy. Clear.

He’s the bad guy, the cheating dick, the loser who threw away years - his entire life since high school - for a cheap side piece.

Yeah. Obvious. Easy.

And, suddenly, it’s all a lot more clear.

“What’s her name?” Glenn asks and Theo’s head snaps up. “Your mistress. What’s her name?”

“What?”

Glenn bites back the 'did I stutter?’, trying to keep his temper in check. “What’s her name?” he asks, again. “Where did you meet? How long was it going on? You gonna marry her, now? Is she even interested in that, or was this just about fucking a married man?” He takes a step to the table, leans over it, looming - as much as someone a good foot fucking shorter can - over Theo. “What’s. Her. Name?”

Theo scoots back, just a little. “What’s. Your. Point?”

Well… fuck. Just… total and absolute fuck. Like all the fucks all in one place and that place?

Right smack between Glenn and Lauren. Because now, he knows. Maybe not all of it, maybe not exactly why - but just wait, he’ll get there - but he knows enough.

“You threw it away on purpose,” he says and Theo doesn’t argue the point so, yeah, fuck. “You made sure you did the one thing she’d never forgive and no, that’s not the cheating. It’s being made to look a fool. And you made sure… with my help… that she caught you.”

Glenn staggers back and falls down into his chair. His brain… it doesn’t work this way, it doesn’t think like his sister’s or Amy’s or even Karma’s (especially not Karma’s.) He sees everything in all it’s simplest of terms, in kill or be killed, be happy or not, love or don’t. The messes Reagan told him about from back when she and Amy first got together? They’re as foreign and as weird to Glenn as carrying an M-16 through a fucking desert would be to his sister or to her wife or to Karma (yes, especially Karma, again.)

So, this?

Yeah… this is some Star Wars live long and prosper world of wizarding he who shall not be named shit.

(And yes, he knows those are all different. He’s spent far too fucking long around Amy not to.)

“You had it all,” Glenn says and he’s incredibly proud that he keeps the judgement out of his voice. “Everything. You’ve been in love with her since high school, you survived four years apart in college, you had the most sickeningly fairy tale wedding that I’ve ever seen, and you threw it all away, on purpose, when you had everything you ever wanted.”

“I know,” Theo says so simply, so obviously. “But that’s just it. What if… it wasn't everything?”

[adamlarssin]

hey sorry to bother you, but would you mind explaining why what the seems like everyone thinks nuge is getting traded soon? i've seen it around quite a bit but i'm sorta new to hockey/the oilers so i don't quite understand it lol thank you!

No you’re not bothering me! Idk if I’m the best person to answer this seeing as I have only been into hockey and Oilers for about a year but I will try my best! Honestly idk where to start but here we go:

First off, I’d say the biggest cause for trade rumors is his drop in points per game. As a rookie he averaged 0.84 points per game in 2011-12 (62 games played). In the following years he put up averages of 0.60 (40 gp), 0.70 (80 gp), 0.74 (76 gp), and 0.62 (55 gp) points per game. And his average this year? Just 0.48 points per game, which leaves much to be desired. Also when compared to Landeskog (2nd overall in the 2011 draft class) who has 113 g and 159 a in his career, Nuge only has 90 career goals and 164 assists. Or compared to Taylor Hall who was drafted first overall the previous year who has 146 career goals and 223 assists. (I know its not the greatest judge of a player’s ability when comparing them to others, but I’m trying to keep this black and white?) So I’m gonna go out on a limb and say Nuge was a tad hyped up in his draft year and was expected to do more than he was capable of. (edit: Keep in mind only 1 of his 5 seasons played, not including this one, reached 80 games. This was due to a shoulder injury his rookie year, the lockout in his second season and he missed 24 games last year after breaking his hand.)

Now on to what management expects from him. Recently Nuge has been encouraged into a “defensive” or “checking” center position and that hasn’t worked out well for him. Based on stats, Nuge has made 0.70 mistakes on grade A even strength scoring chances, which is the same rate as last year. Where as both McDavid and Letestu have decreased, 0.75 to 0.43 and 0.73 to 0.43 respectively. He also isn’t the greatest in faceoffs, holding a career average of 43.2% and 44.07% average this year. This is part of the reason Desharnais was acquired yesterday seeing as he has a 50.4% career average and 47.8% this season. 

So now that we’ve covered stats I’ll get into my personal opinion! Nugget has gone into a slump these past two years and I believe some change of scenery would be good for him, as much as it pains me to say. The team no longer belongs to him, or any member of the once ‘Kid Line” (they already traded Hallsy, whats another member? 😩). This is Connor and Leon’s team now and Ryan has struggled to keep up (ebs too for that matter). I just think it’s time for Nuge to go to team that really needs him and somewhere he can help to rebuild, even though I desperately want him to make a deep playoff run. I would probably say now that he wasn’t traded at the deadline, we will likely see him go this summer. To where? I have no idea, hopefully to a team that will love and support him (and one i actually like).

And now I digress. If anyone sees this and wants to add and/or correct me, please do! Like I said, I have only been with the Oilers for a year and I am not terribly versed on stats or what makes a team trade a certain player. If you want to read more, I got most of the stats from this article and the nhl site.  

I really hope this helps??

[kopicetic]

Hi. As a fellow kings fan I'm kinda concerned. You shouldn't care about old news like the hawks. Will they even make the playoffs? Who the fuck knows. Anyways, I focus my hatred towards actual threats within our division. Didn't we just slip down to 4th today? Holy shit dude. Like fuck the ducks and the flames. And we seem to be ignoring the knights, a team which we haven't beaten since preseason who's probably gonna knock us out the first round. Actively seeking hostile fans is not recommended

First off, I'm not trying to come off like a hostile fan when responding to this, Anon, so I'm sorry if I do. There is actually only one team I actively hate, and my hatred of them doesn't even have anything to do with the Kings or the Wings, lmao. If you're a Bruins fan, you probably can guess.I like reading opposing team blogs after they lose to one of my teams. It's entertaining to me. So of course after the Wings shutout the Hawks in Chicago, that was something I was dying to read and it did not disappoint. Hawks and Wings is one of those rivalries you never hear about, which is weird because in my biased opinion, it's the one I grew up with and therefore is the best and most exciting to me. Tampa Bay always owns the Wings; a lot of Wings fans disagree, but to me that is not a rivalry. That is just TBL owning the fuck out of us. It's not fun to watch because you just get the feeling that it's in their heads. And if you believe NBC, Toronto and Detroit are big rivals. Or if you believe Wednesday Night Rivalry, it's Detroit and the Sabres lmao. (Whereas my born and raised in Detroit parents who snuck into games at Olympia and both reminisce about the "good old days" when only the Original Six existed, Toronto was never a rivalry, they hated the Hawks and they hated the Habs.)As far as being concerned about the Kings, yeah, I'm always concerned about their standings also but having dealt many years with another team that had a similar mindset of "you only have to make the playoffs, it doesn't matter how" I've accepted that the Kings don't necessarily seem to care about winning the League or their division, they just want to win enough to make the playoffs and THEN it's game on. Frustrating as a fan, yeah, it sure af is. I don't want to always assume that they're going to lose divisional games like against ANA and SJS and VGK but they never really worry so I'm not particularly worried either. Annoyed, yeah, lmao, I hate seeing them lose to the other Cali teams. But even when they reverse swept SJS they were #NotBothered, in all of their interviews and pressers they were pretty much just like "We just have to win one game and go from there," the only glory they really care about is Lord Stanley. That same year was when Kopi was nominated for the Selke and he was just like "Yeah that's cool I guess BUT we gotta win a playoff game. I mean thanks for noticing I'm a 200ft player but it's a team game." (Thank fuck for Williams pointing out Kopi was ALREADY a great player before Gabby because he was going to give an actual answer lbr.)I'm never worried about the will and the drive, if I worry about the Kings, it's in the sense of "Okay so they're missing a piece, they have the core but now they need a *blank*" (whether that's a puck carrying experienced dman or another scorer, that is up for you to decide, LA Kings Insider folks are all divided up on that issue) and that's something management has to deal with.Basically, it actually takes ten seconds of my life to hate on random teams. That's why all of my posts were tagged with "this post will self destruct" because I'm going to go through and delete them all after this response because I'm over it now lmao. I'm not spending massive amounts of energy focused on the Hawks and ignoring everything else, I promise. The 2013 playoffs were devastating as a Wings fan okay. The season, beating the Fucks when no one thought they would, being 3-1 against the Hawks, that horrible penalty shot that deflated them, yeah, honestly the worst hockey feeling I've had since they lost in the Finals to Pittsburgh. The post game interviews where Kronner was basically crying about the deflection goal was gut wrenching. So when Hawks fans bring that shit up, it stings. A lot. And then I get hella feely. Especially since we obviously disagree a lot on the various shenanigans.Yes. The Kings have dropped to fourth in the division and to the second wild card. Hypothetically, we should actually be more worried about Minnesota knocking them out of that second wild card spot, except Minny doesn't play any time soonish. That being said, Calgary will most likely not sustain. ANA has 2 less points but has also played two more games. I'm more curious to see how they come out, after dropping two important divisional match ups, against the Pens on the second half of a back-to-back. If they come out lacklustre then yeah, I'll join you in the worry club. That being said I feel like they always go through this weird slump where no one can score and no games are won, they did this last Winter Olympics too, and guess what they won THAT season. Pretty sure they're just in their yearly January weirdness lmao. The bye week also seemed to throw off a lot of teams.Anyway, this has turned into an actual fucking novel and I'm done trying to defend the fact that I can care about more than one thing at a time so I'm peacing out now. Again, I'm not trying to be a dbag here, hopefully I don't come off too much like one.

[blaqpanther]

People are talking out of their asses when they say the Lakers will make the playoffs lmao. They have some good young players with a lot of potential. Keyword, potential, but there is a heck of a lot to learn first. If I have to hear these announcers dick suck lonzo for doing the most basic shit that is expected of any NBA player I'm going to turn the game off. Seriously, he simply dribbles over half and people go nuts. He's 1/6 from the field (16.7%) with some wide open shots and a missed layup

Lol… Lonzo does have a ton of potential. So does Randall, Clarkson, Kuzma. Lonzo is being incredibly tentative. I wonder why. He’s had open looks and hasn’t even glanced at the basket. He needs to be more assertive. I’m sure Luke will talk to him about that. Also he needs to push the ball a little more. There is a ton of external pressure but he seems unfazed by it so that’s good. But folks need to be real, they aren’t gonna be shit this year

[tortuga-aak]

NBA legend and broadcaster Chris Webber talks about who won the NBA's offseason, super-teams, and how to beat the Warriors

TNT

Chris Webber has evolved over the last decade in the broadcast booth to become one of the go-to voices for TNT's primetime NBA games.

With the season slated to begin next week, Webber will also be taking part in NBA TV's "Players Only" broadcasts, where only former NBA players comment on weekly slates of games.

Now in his ninth season with Turner since leaving the NBA in 2008, awaiting a Hall of Fame induction, Webber spoke to Business Insider about his growth as a broadcaster, the wild NBA offseason, and of course, if anyone can beat the Golden State Warriors this season.

This interview has been lightly edited for clarity and length.

Scott Davis: Is there anything you still feel like you're picking up as a broadcaster or still hoping to learn?

Chris Webber: "Well, I'm still learning every day, I'll tell you that. And the great thing about being at Turner for so long is I've been able to kind of work up, and learn about different levels and work my way up. I really learn from the talent and the producers and directors there. Yeah, I've got a lot to learn. I'm gonna continue learning hopefully, but I'm gonna continue to improve, but hopefully there’s been large improvements since I started."

Davis: Has anything changed about the job since you've been doing it? The involvement and evolution of advanced stats comes to mind.

Webber: "No, that hasn’t really changed much. I think the argument of the use of analytics vs. the eye test or how consistent can analytics be when it doesn't have a constant variable, so it doesn't take into [consideration] when you were playing on the road, if it was cold that night, if you were tired, if you were coming off of injury. Those are the types of things more so that's discussed. But no, stats and information that's always been the same, and the more the better."

Davis: Is there any team you're most interested in watching this year or calling games for?

Webber: "No, but I think there are a lot of cool stories, you know, besides the obvious ones of different guys going different places, from OKC, to Houston, to will Golden State repeat, to the big trade in the East with Boston and Kyrie [Irving] and Isaiah Thomas. I think some underlying stories are: John Wall was voted the best point guard in the East. He's been criticized before, and now we've all given him a lot of props with his maturity. Does he come back, and how good will they be this year? Or a lot of times you see the teams are one-hit wonders or they stop when they get to a certain level. How will that go?

"Also, I think just the young teams. When you look at Philadelphia, how will they improve? Lakers, it's gonna be fun watching them develop. So along with the wonderful storylines, I just think there's some great underlying storylines that will be fun to watch this year as well."

Ezra Shaw/Getty ImagesDavis: Is there any team that you would declare the winner of the offseason?

Webber: "Whoa. I'd say Golden State’s the winner of the offseason because they got Kevin Durant a few years ago, so that helped them win every offseason they have him.

"But I would just say Cleveland looks like one of the deepest teams in the league right now. They look good. And then you look at Boston, any time you get a Gordon Hayward. It's really hard to say. You can't really quantify guys' motivation. When you look at [Carmelo Anthony] out there playing with Paul George [on the Thunder]. Those guys have a lot of motivation. So, it's gonna be fun. Chris Paul. I can't say that one team won. That question is only gonna be answered at the end of the season."

Davis: You touched on some of the super-teams. You obviously played on some deep and talented teams from college to the NBA — how does a team adjust to having multiple superstars and learning to play with one another? What happens behind the scenes to make it happen?

Webber: "Well if a lot of that is going on behind the scenes to make it happen and not everybody together making it happen, then it's not gonna work. That's what I mean not being able to quantify motivations. It's not gonna be hard. Usually the hardest problem you have in playing with new superstars is deferring. And then you guys have a talk about, 'Listen we both can't defer. Let's both play our games and figure out how to find each other within it.' And that comes. Deferring is almost like a sign of respect. I had that when I played with Allen Iverson and vice versa. I've seen other players do it. I've been told by the players they've done it ... So it's not any behind the back jostling or negotiating for time or shots or anything like that. Usually guys work that out on the floor. And if you’re a great player, you find your way to get in there to fit in."

Davis: How quickly do you think that'll take for some teams? Like Houston, for example — how long will it take for Chris Paul and James Harden to fit into a system and learn how to play together and off one another?

Webber: "Well, when LeBron went to Miami, I thought it would take two years, and I was right. Well, when Durant went to Golden State, I thought it might take another year. I was wrong [laughs].

"I don't think it will take that long. I think that the one thing that intrigues me about Chris Paul and Harden together is that those two, I believe, were one and two in ball-handling last season in minutes or possessions handling the ball. That, to me, is just really tough when they play the same position. In order for Harden to play in MVP-type caliber ball, he has to have the ball in his hands a lot. And I'm sure in the 4th quarter, they'll work a way out. [Rockets coach Mike] D'Antoni, to me, is one of the best offensive coaches in the game. So, I think he'll answer that question, but that's the one thing they're gonna have to overcome."

Davis: You mentioned the Warriors winning the offseason. Is there any team right now that you think can beat them and how do you think is the best way to beat them?

Webber: "I still think you have to look at Cleveland. Cleveland now is deep. They also have a number of guys that can play the four position, that can go up against a Draymond Green or might be able to maybe get in the way of Durant just a little bit. They seem like they're deep on offense. And then they have a guy who led the league in fourth-quarter scoring last year in Isaiah Thomas, who you can't underestimate his heart. And now you're gonna have to play defense on both ends. So, I would say it [will be] Part 4 of the championship drama."

Davis: There’s some debate about how best to play the Warriors, whether it's slow it down and play them physically or try to match their scoring? What do you think works?

Webber: "Well, I think in a seven-game series you're not gonna do one and beat them four times … I think that's why Cleveland may still have an advantage in the East. They have multiple guys that can stretch the floor, shoot three-pointers, but they also have guys that can get to the hole and finish. Kevin Love still can space the floor and post up. So now you have guys that can play defense. So I really think you have to balance it out. I don’t think it’s one way. You’re not gonna outscore them in a seven-game series. But you can outscore them for two games, slow it down one, and wish for the best in a fourth. So I don’t think there's one way to beat them."

Davis: Is there a way for the NBA to fix conference imbalance? The West looks like it'll have about 12 playoff-worthy teams and the East looks weak, comparatively.

Webber: "I don't think so. I think it's all cyclical. I think if in five years when it changes to the East, I don't wanna go back and just change it back. In some conferences it's gonna be tough. I mean, you look at the West this year, wow, there's some really good teams that are going to miss the playoffs.

"But that's why you play every game and it makes every game matter. We complain about every game [not] mattering and every game [not] having an impact on the season, well, on the west coast, every single game will determine if a team makes it to the playoffs, or more importantly, home court advantage in the playoffs. I like that."

Danny Moloshok/AP

Davis: Do you think the current small-ball, spread-out era will ever evolve back into a low-post game? It seems like young players today don’t learn about playing in the post as much.

Webber: "I think what it's gonna turn to is you should be skilled in all areas. Just because you're the tallest guy on the floor, doesn't mean you should go with the big fellas on the inside and shoot post-up shots. You should shoot post-up shots then shoot free throws and three-pointers. And the same for the smallest kid on the floor. Go post up. We've seen guys like Mark Jackson do it, and other guards that can change the game. You should be prepared for all positions on the floor. More so than the traditional seven-footer posting up, I do see where you’ll have guys ... post up, draw a double team, kick it out to a shooter. That is definitely a skill set that is needed in today’s game no matter what size you are."

Davis: I'm curious what you thought about the NBA saying it expects players to stand for the national anthem this year.

Webber: "Well, I think the NBA's already spoken. I think that when you've seen players in the NBA wear "I can’t breathe" shirts or openly talk about police brutality against unarmed black men, we've been supported and the players have been supported by Adam Silver, been supported by their teams and coaches. So, I don't think the gesture of kneeling was ever really thought of by most players because they've been able to demonstrate in many other ways. So, giving your opinion is never something that I think has been a problem for players in the NBA. We have the support of our league to speak out on social matters, so I think that's important."

Davis: Do you have any other plans in basketball besides for broadcasting? Coaching? Front-office work?

Webber: "Still keeping all options open … I definitely keep that door open."

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