#i'm afraid i won't do right enough by you
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schoenpepper · 16 hours ago
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Hellooo
Can I request an x reader who tells them the most confusing stories on purpose? Like, "Have you ever walked on your back and suddenly a train washes up on your shore with a cold and lights on its house?" You can look more of this on tiktok lol
Characters: Trey, Jade, Floyd, Azul, Idia, Rook and Jamil pleasee
What the Fuck
Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread, rushed kasi nagsasagot ako ng accounting
A/N: I don't have a tikky tok ahahaha I'll just wing it ig. also wdym jade's part is longer no its not
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Trey would be confused, but to be honest, there's not too much that can phase him at this point.
He'll look at you with a small, fond smile—ever so compliant to every whimsy.
He won't reply with something just as ridiculous, but he can shove a pastry into your mouth to stop you.
Honestly, it's a good deal.
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Jade knows this isn't a normal human thing.
He just doesn't care.
"Oh, is that so? I'm afraid I can't answer your question, seeing as I am but a poor merman ignorant of human ways."
Bulletproof smile.
Whatever you're trying to gain from doing this, he just won't give it to you.
Might reply.
"And if a clownfish suffocated in river water trying to kiss a seagull, how many eggs have been laid in a clutch within a coral reef?"
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Floyd has two ways of responding to this. It depends on your luck.
If you're lucky, he'll think you're funny and laugh.
If you're unlucky, you get squeezed because "Ahaha, what nonsense are you muttering about, shrimpy? Should I squeeze it outta ya'?"
Run.
Anyway, if you do this to Floyd, you should have been long prepared to run like your life depends on it. It does.
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Azul has a very low tolerance for nonsense.
Even if it is you, he'll likely just smile confusedly and refrain from replying.
If you keep on going, he'll draw up a contract then and there to forbid you from ever talking like that again.
Please stop.
Why are you even doing this?!
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Jamil is going crazy. Actually, clinically insane.
Stop. Right now.
Will backhand you to the other side of Scarabia. Again.
He's tired enough, please don't add on to his headaches.
If you catch him when he's sleepy, he'll just look at you in a daze and stop processing your words. Will crash.
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Rook smiles.
It is very unsettling.
Will nod along to your words and comment complementary nonsense every once in a while.
"There is beauty in such a labyrinth of words! As if only Ariadne's string itself would be my only salvation."
Freak.
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Idia grimaces—there's no way you're hopping on a trend that cringe, right?
...Damn. You actually are.
Er, how close are you with Idia?
Level 1: omfg dude bro get a lyf like rn away from me
Level 2: haha v funny shut up now
Level 3: bb pls stop im going to actually die from cringe
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Taglist:
@yummyyummyinmytumny @fsh1 @lemon-koii
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endless-ineffabilities · 16 hours ago
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how do u think bf!ewan would apologize to his darling after fight? supposing he was the wrong one
🏰
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The subsequent 12 hours (sometimes 18!) would be the sulk-off, no one willing to budge and reach out to the other.
Ewan would know he's in the wrong, but he's also quite stubborn. He's never been comfortable with being too open or vulnerable. Until you! So he's still learning and growing.
He's also deathly afraid of losing you. So what if his apology won't be enough? What if he's done it? What if you see him in another light now? He has to reaaally think about how to make it up to you. It has to be perfect.
At night, you'd lie in bed awkwardly, just staring at the ceiling. But he won't be able to resist, and cuddle you after you fall asleep.
From the next morning, you see the start of his gestures to make it up to you, each of them non-verbal apologies — breakfast in bed, flowers, finishing all the chores in your flat in advance, making sure there's nothing for you to worry about — but he'd just be doing them without explanation.
He'd be so physically affectionate throughout the day, without being too pushy. His arms wrapping around you from behind as you answer emails, as you brush your teeth, as you make coffee, after you come out of the shower.
You wouldn't even be mad anymore. Because he's too sweet. And you know your boyfriend—that I'm sorry is right around the corner. He just needs time.
As you both wind down at the end of the day, watching something in the living room, cuddled up on the couch, he'd suddenly press pause or turn the volume all the way down. You'd look at him all confused. Then in the softest, most sincere tone, he'd finally muster — I'm so sorry, my love. I messed up, and I'm sorry I made you upset.
It's okay, honey. I kinda already forgave you a while ago.
He would look so relieved. He'd rest his forehead against yours and just breathe. It'd be the first time he feels fully relaxed since the fight.
Do you... do you still... love me?
Of course I still love you, baby. What kind of a question is that?
Just checking. He smirks, then kisses you. I love you... more than anything.
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coffeecoloredpages · 9 hours ago
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A Not-So-White Christmas
“They'll wrinkle if you pack them like that,” Regulus appeared at his elbow, a hint of exasperation in his tone.
Sirius shrugged. “If Walburga doesn't like it, she'll just charm the wrinkles out. I don't really give a toss.”
Regulus sighed, giving Sirius a light shove, his eyes rolling and mouth quirking in a way that was almost normal for them. “Budge over, I'll fix it. And this just came for you.”
Sirius took the slightly crumpled envelope Regulus shoved into his hands and sat back onto the mattress, relinquishing the task of packing for the moment. Regulus had always been better at making things neat and tidy, his hands always straightening and smoothing out of habit. Yet another way they differed from each other despite their shared upbringing. Lately it felt as if their differences were multiplying in a way they never had before Hogwarts.
Pushing his musings aside, Sirius tipped open the envelope. His face split into a grin as he read; it was from James. When he finished, he looked up to find Regulus watching him, the guarded look that had haunted his face for the last six months already back in place. “Thanks,” Sirius said sincerely. “Guess I'm lucky you found it before mum did.”
“Yeah, well, whatever.” Regulus shut and fastened the suitcase, having managed to even fit the dress robes in with everything. “You'd better not get anymore, I think Kreacher is suspicious, he'll be keeping an eye out now.”
“Oh, to hell with Kreacher. I'm not afraid of that gas bag. The worst he can do is screech a few insults at me.”
“Don't talk about him like that,” Regulus snapped, eyes sparking. “And he can do a lot worse than just yell at you; Maman has ordered him to report on everything you do, and that takes precedence over any order you give. If he, or anyone else here, catches a letter coming from your precious Hogwarts friends then you'll really have it coming.”
Sirius stared for a moment, taken aback at the outburst. “Right, sorry,” he offered. “Look, I am sorry, okay?” He repeated at Regulus’ skeptical look. “Listen, I'll be on my best behavior this week, alright? I'll tell James and the others not to send anything and won't even make a face when Grandmama demands a kiss. I'll be a perfect little heir. So can you not be mad at me anymore? Please?”
Regulus eyed him for a long moment before softening just slightly, mouth quirking again. “I'm not mad at you, but fine, deal.”
“Brilliant,” Sirius beamed. He didn't know how he'd survive this week without Regulus on his side. “I'll write a note quick and be right down. D’you think a dozen dung bombs will be enough?”
“Sirius!” Regulus hissed, fighting a smile.
“Kidding! Kidding!” Sirius laughed, dancing out of range as his brother swung a half-hearted smack at him.
(fic is Meet Me Halfway, by Wordwyrm on ao3)
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storytowrite · 18 hours ago
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|You will always be mine ~ Lee Minho series|
PART 12
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Paring: Minho x Y/N
Genre: smut, angst, university au
Word count: 3302
Warnings: sex, 18+, Minho is a psycho, dom!Minho, sub!reader, abuse, slight BDSM, kidnapping, violence, age gap, Minho is an university professor, Y/N can be hurt physically (and mentally too I guess).
Synopsis: Who knew that accidental fuck in the club bathroom with a handsome man will bring you to a lot of unexpected events.
Author's note: I kept this series for a really long time not sure if I want to post it or not, but I decided to do it anyway, so I hope you'll like it.
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Several days have passed since the Minho incident. You have almost forgotten about his behavior, or at least pushed thoughts about it to the farthest corner of your mind. After a week's absence, you returned to the university, and your life seemed to go on. 
Admittedly, you were still dating Lee Minho, a lecturer who had “returned” to being THE Minho you had met in the beginning. You felt somewhat happy, but at the same time internally you felt fear. You feared that if you once again defied the man, you might face punishment. You didn't want to make him angry, because you knew what this could entail. Therefore, you did everything he told you to do - and his requests got weirder and weirder each time. 
“...I think it's high time I met your parents Y/N...” The man spoke up, breaking the silence in the car. You looked at him puzzled.
“'Why? My parents are busy, Minho.”
“Don't you think that as your boyfriend I should get to know them? Besides... You know, we could then test your stamina with the new toy I bought you.” He smiled in a perverse way. 
“You've got to be kidding me!” You exclaimed in surprise. “There's no option Minho, I'm not going to agree to something like that. You're crossing the line.”
“Don't exaggerate Y/N... just kidding.” He muttered, but was inconsolable. “But your parents I would actually like to meet.”
“What is the point? My parents won't accept that I'm with a guy who's fifteen years older than me anyway.”
“You don't want me to meet them because you're ashamed, right?” He started with a pouty face.
“What? No Minho, I'm not ashamed of you.” You denied.
“Great, then invite them to dinner on the weekend.” He suggested, smiling at you.
“No... I won't invite them.” 
“No? What did I tell you about disobedience?” He glanced at you, clearly displeased.
“Minho, it's non-negotiable, I apologize to you, but this time I'm not going to comply with your request.” You said with seriousness.
“We will return to this conversation.” The man replied coolly. There was silence in the car. Why did he want to meet your parents? Wasn't what was between the two of you enough for him? Your parents, although they approved of your every choice, would not have been happy with their child dating a man fifteen years older than her. And you knew it perfectly well. 
Minho stopped the car in the parking lot in front of his apartment. Since the last time you overheard his conversation, he demanded that you move in with him permanently. You had no choice but to agree to move. You were afraid that if you didn't agree to the man's terms, he would treat you the same way he treated Rheena and Lisa. After the last situation, you were sure that he was behind their deaths.
You began to form a “formal” relationship. You went on dates to the movies, restaurants, the park. Of course, you were careful, you didn't want anyone to notice you, because it could end unpleasantly, first of all for this person.
And you knew it. That's why you started to be even more careful. You moved a little away from your friends. You only saw Jeno at the university, as well as Jungwoo. Your other friends started going out without you. You watched on social media how people around you, your age, were having a great time without you. How they go to parties and spend their time the way you should spend it too - having fun. 
More than once you have wondered about the life you have begun to lead. Why did you let yourself get sucked into this “sick” arrangement with a lecturer and let the best years of your youth slip away? You became addicted to a man you weren't even sure you loved. But he was already sure - he loved you. You knew you couldn't walk away from him like that, especially after his confession. That's why you continued to play the game, to pull what was between you.
“Hello, Earth to Y/N!” Minho waved his hand in front of your eyes. “Everything ok?”
“Hm? Yes, yes... I was just thinking.” You replied after a while, sending him a gentle smile. “Did you say something?”
“Yes Y/N, I was... I asked if you were hungry, I will be making dinner.”
“Dinner? I'd love to eat something... what are you going to prepare?”
“I'm going to make chicken.” He winked at you. “I know you love it.” 
“Okay, I'll get my stuff together...” You replied and went to the living room, where your notes and laptop were waiting for you. 
The midterm was approaching. You spent more and more time studying. You neglected Minho in the process, but this is, after all, normal and the man was aware of this, right? In the end, he let you study as much as you needed, even though he knew that you would get only A's in his subject anyway. You didn't even have to try too hard. You might as well not even have come in for a final exam.
While making dinner in the kitchen, he watched you carefully. Every move you made made him smile. He saw you bending over the task, wrinkling your nose gently, trying to understand what it was about. To Minho, you looked adorable. He loved to watch you. It was a form of entertainment for him, and he appreciated every such moment. 
The apartment was relatively quiet. You were engrossed in your notes and repetitions, and Minho was making dinner. Would your lives always be like this again? Neither of you could answer that question. The man began to imagine your life together in the future, when suddenly his phone rang. He answered immediately.
“Hi Han, what's up?...Mhm, well...I'll drop by in about an hour. No, I can't go any faster. OK, I'll try.”
The man hung up. You looked at him with a questioning gaze. You were curious what it was about. 
“Han called.” He informed you. “He asked me to go and help him with something... Can you manage on your own in my absence?”
“Will you be gone for a long time? Friday is today and there may be traffic jams...”
“Don't worry, kitten. I don't know how long it will take me to help Han, but I'm sure you'll be asleep when I get back.” He said and walked over to you. “I'll be back soon.” He placed a kiss on your forehead and went to change his clothes, then left the apartment. 
You sighed quietly. Minho left more and more often as Han called him. You hadn't met his friend yet, but you knew that this whole Han thing was just as weird as your lecturer. You just hoped they didn't kill anyone else. The realization that another woman might have lost her life, in a very immoral way, just because she ran into Minho, did not give you peace of mind. 
You took several deep breaths. You couldn't concentrate on your notes anymore. Moreover, you were terribly bored, and you knew that waiting for Minho didn't make any sense at all. You knew the man wouldn't be back before five in the morning. His outings with Han always took that long. You glanced at your phone. Your friends were once again having a great time at the club. You decided it was high time to finally go out to people. So you texted Jeno.
[You]
Hi Jeno! Where are you guys? Can I join you? 
You didn't expect the boy to text you back. After all, you haven't spoken to each other much lately. You felt that Jeno might continue to be offended at you, but he texted back nonetheless. You smiled broadly at the phone. 
THE MANIAC Club. I will be waiting for you in front of the entrance, you have 30 min. 
You smiled broadly. It had been a long time since you had been to a club, and THE MANIAC was your favorite place. You were glad that Jeno hadn't cancelled your relationship yet and you could join him and his cousin. 
You showered and put on makeup at an express pace. You felt exquisite, getting ready for the party. You left your hair loose and slipped a short blue strapless dress over your body. On your feet you put silver stiletto sandals. You accessorized with a silver handbag, into which you packed your phone and keys, and left Minho's apartment. 
You were in the mood for the party. All the way to the club you were smiling broadly. You missed the dancing and the craziness, but you also missed your friends, and you knew that such an outing would do you good. You couldn't wait for the madness on the dance floor. It had been so long since you had been to a party.... 
“Y/N!” You heard your friend's familiar voice when you appeared in front of the club. Jeno immediately greeted you with a smile and hugged you. “It's been so long since we had fun together... What happened?”
“Nothing happened Jeno... I just didn't have time...” You returned the hug. 
“You didn't have time, or did the professor not allow you?” The boy asked with a wince, but inwardly he was very worried. 
“What, no, no... I was really busy.” You got a little mixed up. “ Anyway, it doesn't matter now, let's go inside, I want to dance!”
“Sure... But if something happens, speak up... Ladies ahead, Woo is probably already at the bar.”
You entered the club, and immediately smelled the distinctive aroma that wafted through THE MANIAC - cinnamon and vanilla. You smiled broadly, you loved the place. For the first time in a long time you were happy. 
You started to party. Jeno was watching over you, while you seemed to release all the brakes. You let yourself be carried away by the fun, the music, the dancing and the drinks that the bartender and Woo's new boyfriend Lucas prepared for you every now and then. 
You lost track of the time. The party with the guys lasted until the early hours of the morning. You had fun until the very end. You didn't care about the hour, as well as the fact that your boyfriend, Lee Minho, left you a mass of missed calls and messages. In a craze of fun, you completely forgot about the whole world and all the problems that had surrounded you up to that point. 
_________
While you were partying at the club Minho quickly dealt with the task Han had assigned him and returned home. When he did not find you in the apartment, panic began to overtake him. He checked every room in the apartment, even the smallest, but you were nowhere to be found. He decided to call you, but as luck would have it, you probably had your phone turned off. Panic began to grow in him more and more. Had you left him? Did you decide to run away from him? Fears began to overwhelm him, he could not let you leave him. He knew he would do anything for you. 
He quickly remembered the tracking app he had installed for you some time ago. You didn't even know about it because the app was very well hidden on your phone. He quickly checked your location on his device. Gotcha, kitten, He thought. 
Now that he knew you were at the club and had broken his ban he was overwhelmed with anger. He didn't like the fact that HIS girlfriend was partying in the company of other men. Of course, he was aware that you could break the ban. Ha! He even deep down desired it. He wanted you to show disobedience so that he could punish you. He loved to punish you... And he did it more and more often.
But now, the realization that you did not comply with his requests was unbearable. In quick succession, he found himself in his car and headed out in front of the club. He didn't have a long way to go, especially by car. He parked the car on the opposite street and watched the entrance to the club. He noticed you walking out smiling inside accompanied by your friend, Jeno.
Minho was overcome with jealousy. From the very beginning, he had not tolerated Jeno. He felt some competition in him, even though he knew that you were not interested in him. Or at least you hid it very well. However, he decided not to act too hastily. I'll give her time, I’ll let her play... As he thought, so he did. He waited outside the club until you left. He didn't expect you to spend so much time there. Once again you surprised him. 
He smiled slightly to himself, all the while watching the exit. The party had already ended, and drunk people began to roll out of the club. Some were still in a club mood, while others seemed fed up with all the hustle and bustle. 
Minho watched closely. Finally, he spotted YOU. You were dressed in a blue strapless dress that, in Minho's eyes, was far too short and too defiant. Your stilettos dangled from your hand - they must have hurt your feet a lot. Minho wasn't even surprised. 
He knew you liked to party, and your moves on the dance floor could be envied by many dancers. Your hair was gently tousled, and a wide smile was painted on your lips, highlighted with red lipstick, showing rows of white teeth. At the same time, the whole posture of your body indicated that you must have drunk a considerable amount of alcohol. He didn't like it. 
He sighed heavily. Even though he was angry at you, he had to admit that you looked very happy. Your whole appearance, the way you presented yourself, excited him to the limit. Oh kitten, what are you doing to me, He thought, for a moment imagining you writhing with pleasure under him, only to deny you an orgasm a moment later.
But life is not about imagination. He knew that if he allowed you to go with Jeno now, which you were obviously counting on, he could lose you. He got out of the car and walked through the deserted street. He stopped a few meters behind you. You burst out laughing. Jeno apparently cracked a joke.
Minho quickly looked at the boy before he spoke. Jeno definitely didn't have as much alcohol in him as you did. And he definitely didn't look at you JUST as a friend. And Minho didn't like that very much.
"Ahem!" He cleared his throat, drawing your and the boy's attention to himself.
"Minho!" You exclaimed with a smile and threw yourself around his neck. You hung on him, and the strong smell of alcohol could be felt from your lips. "What are you doing here?"
"I came for you, kitten. And what are you doing here?" The man spoke, pushing you away slightly. Minho hated the smell of alcohol.
"I'm having fun!" You smiled. You looked quite cute and innocent when you were drunk. "Do you want to join?"
"I guess I'll say no." He spoke to you and glanced at Jeno, who was watching you closely. "Come on Y/N, time to go home."
"What? But I don't want to!" You stamped your foot and made a dissatisfied face. "I want to go dancing!"
“The party's over long ago, and so is my patience, kitten... You broke our agreement, you know how this ends.”
“B-but…” Your mood changed a hundred and eighty degrees. “I don't want a punishment…” You looked at him with a pouty face.
“I don't give a damn what you want.” Minho growled, a bit harsher than he planned. He shouldn't be taking it out on you when you're drunk. It didn't make any sense, and he knew it perfectly well. You wouldn't understand anyway until you were fully sober.
“Wait, what punishment?” Jeno butted in, clearly concerned about your entire exchange.
“He'll punish me for disobedience.” You complained, moving closer to Jeno. “Jeno… I don't want punishment.” You groaned. The boy clenched his jaw and looked at Minho with a menacing expression on his face.
“What kind of punishment is she talking about? What do you want to do to her?” He began to ask, clearly nervous.
“None of your business, brat.” Minho growled. “Y/N, come on, let's go home.”
“No, she's not going anywhere with you.” Jeno hissed, hiding you behind his back. “I have no idea what you want to do to her, psycho, but I won't let you.”
“I won't do anything to her, she's drunk and probably made something up.” Minho tried to brush him off.
“Why don't I believe you? If Y/N says she doesn't want something and is clearly afraid of you, then that's how it has to be.” Jeno didn't give up.
“You don't know anything. Stop interfering!” Minho started to raise his voice, clearly irritated.
“I know enough!” Jeno raised his voice as well.
“Y/N we’re going home.” Minho walked up to you and grabbed your wrist tightly, too tightly, pulling you along. You winced a bit. Minho’s grip was really strong. Seeing your reaction, Jeno didn’t think twice and threw himself at Minho with his fists.
The men started to fight. Their fight didn’t last long, because the club’s security guards, seeing the whole situation, stepped in to separate them. Minho had a cut lip and would definitely have bruises on his stomach, where he got hit the hardest.
Jeno, on the other hand, didn’t come out of the fight in any better shape. His right eye was already starting to swell, and his ribs on the left side were throbbing. He knew that when he woke up the next day, he wouldn’t be in the best shape.
The men looked at each other with hostility. You, on the other hand, stood to the side, watching the whole thing. You were scared, but you knew that if you didn't want their conflict to end in a fight again, you had to agree to go back to the apartment with Minho. You sighed quietly. The whole situation had practically sobered you up on the spot.
"Minho..." You spoke quietly. "Let's go home, please."
“Wise decision, kitten.” Minho praised you and offered you his hand. Hesitantly, slightly reluctantly, you took it and walked with him to the car. You turned back to Jeno with an apologetic expression on your face.
You got into the car and drove away with your boyfriend a moment later. You felt bad. You knew that the fight between Jeno and Minho had happened because of you. You felt stupid. You felt that in a way you had let your friend down. You just didn't know if the boy would ever be able to forgive you. You didn't look at Minho the whole way, nor did you say a word. You knew that now you were safe, but the next day wouldn't be pleasant. 
Jeno, on the other hand, watched after the fight, shocked, as you decided to leave with Minho, whom you were clearly afraid of. He knew that you didn't feel safe in the company of a man, but he was aware that you wouldn't tell him the truth. He was worried about you. He wanted to help you at all costs. He made it his goal to do everything to make you feel safe. And that meant that he had to defeat Lee Minho in some way. He just didn't know how yet.
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<- Part 11 | Part 13 ->
-> Series Masterlist
Taglist: @yaorzu-blog, @iovecb97, @hpnsfwaddict, @syedazarintasnim, @palindrome969, @biujulia
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bongsavior · 1 year ago
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why does everyone else's state dictate how i'm doing? why do i obsess over how everyone is, except for myself?
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goldkirk · 9 months ago
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as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and [checks notes] the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd
#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd#also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th#breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to#so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart#and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves#i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this#i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things#so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday#i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers#but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care?#people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better#if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war#anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter]#personal#add to journal#words n rhythm#WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS#cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao#i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes.#anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i#and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would#objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else.#this is a gift i give myself now.#this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do#trauma evolution#mosswrites
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oldhabitsdiescrming · 6 months ago
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#tate.txf#vent post#vent#tw vent#listening to so long london right now and fuck. fuck!#i remember hearing it the first time and realizing i was Not as healed as i thought i was.#while my relation to it isn't through a relationship-technically-it IS about the girl who groomed the fuck out of me at 13 years old ❤️#i was friends with her for three years and jesus fucking christ. she fucked me up in ways i'm still reeling from.#i took care of her-this grown ass adult-through everything. things no kid should be hearing about.#i was fourteen and not sleeping. when i did she would threaten to off herself because i wasn't replying.#i went HOUSE HUNTING for her. i was looking into odd jobs because i thought she needed my help.#when i finally took a mental health break after three years of carrying her sadness like a weight#she called me a monster. i was sixteen years old and watching someone who swore they loved me say the most horrible#god awful things. things i wouldn't say to the person i hated.#i had so many panic attacks over her. i would get in trouble because of how hard i fought to be there for her. i was a kid.#carrying a sadness that became my own purely because she deemed me vulnerable enough to carry the weight.#it's been years#and i am finally so. so. so angry.#i'm finally the age she was when she groomed me and i just. i don't understand. i don't understand how you can do that to a child.#im pissed off she let me give her that youth for free. im just getting color back into my face. she deserves prison but she won't get time.#i'm so angry after all this time. i wish her well. i hate her. i'm hurting. i don't understand any of it.#why was it my job to carry her up the hill? how much sadness did she think i had in me prior to her entry into my life?#i'm still afraid to talk to people. to make friends. to respond to my existing friends.#because i didn't know it was coming with her.#for a while there i'd believed i could forgive her. now i know i don't owe her that.#i am just getting color back into my face. i am mad as hell because i gave up my youth for someone who couldn't care less at the end.#oh the tragedy.#to delete#just had to finally say it somewhere.
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medicinemane · 8 months ago
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The problem with people who are "right" because they insist they're right, and the only way to be right is to simply perfectly follow their every dictation on the subject unquestioningly is this...
Ok, let's just take it as a given that you're right... the problem here is that if that's what's right I'm afraid I have to dig my heels into being wrong. If you are as righteous and just as you insist you are then I've got no choice but to be the villain because I can't stand what you're saying I'd have to do to be good
Shockingly I even think it's wrong, which is odd because we've already defined it that you're inherently and unassailably right... yet here we are
Worst part is there's a lot of these things where I'm not even full stop against it, I actually might be on their side if they could stop and address a couple of issues I consider kind of important... but they won't, because they're morally right and don't have time for addressing nonexistent issues I'm clearly just dreaming up
Undoubtedly right they are, the defect must surely be my own... and yet here we are. Vile and wicked as it might make me, I still can't just go along with you
#mm tag so i can find things later#and whatever you think this is about and however you've already decided it agrees with you#I'll say this is about like... minimum 2 topics at very different points in the political spectrum... and probably like 20 easy#so like... it may well be talking about your own behavior on certain subjects#I'm talking about not even being willing to entertain good faith questions#and especially about labeling anyone who doesn't tow your exact party line a horrible person#...the amount of shit where it's like 'you know I actually agree with you... except for this one major sticking point'#'just tell me how we deal with this one pretty big thing and I'm fully on board' and... well actually you're terrible for that#or the amount of places where it's like I agree with your goals; but not your methods but... I don't think arguing would do a damn thing#you've already dug your heels in so deep and maybe you're even right to do it.. but I'll never go along with it no matter what that makes m#and the number of overall good people I know who this post is honestly about#they may well be far better than I am; I've never claimed to be good; quite the opposite#and yet I'm afraid I have to say that... to me you're wrong; wrong in concrete ways#maybe you could even address my concerns and help me see with my stupid brain why these aren't issues... but you won't#because you're right; and you know you're right; and so you'll never be wrong#and this isn't just some idle whataboutism... or maybe it is; I'll never say I'm the moral arbiter; again I could be wickedly wrong#and there's a variety of reasons someone believes what they believe; but... there's often blind dogma at the end#I may be stupid; but I can usually draw a line from my stance to something in the world#maybe it's a stupid nonsense line and I don't see my mental gymnastics... very well could be#but I can draw a line... it's not just circular logic; it's not just bouncing between two points#and I often can actually point to places I'm not happy with how things are or will be... we live in the real world and that sucks#example that... man it's more politically charged than I like getting; but ok#I really want this Ukrainian aid to pass even though I don't like the Israeli aid attached... but I get that's the only way it's passing#I want the Ukraine aid because I see residential houses getting stuck by missiles; but I don't want the Israeli aid for the same reason#and it comes down to that I think that the aid amount is sufficiently higher to Ukraine to make it enough of a net positive#I could be wrong... but you can at least see my work; I'm coming at it from a perspective of bombing civilians is wrong#I could be stupid; I could point to two people I know on here who would tell me I'm stupid for at least one part of this... probably all#yet there it is... and... it'll be hard to convince me otherwise
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star-ocean-peahen · 1 year ago
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After watching Cinderella (the original animated movie, which was my favorite as a child), it strikes me how it solves many common problems people have with this fairy tale. Like:
Why did they try to identify the mystery girl using her shoe size? Because the bullheaded king's only clue to her identity was the shoe the Grand Duke picked up off the steps.
Why didn't the prince recognize her by her face? Because his father wouldn't involve him in the process at all, and wasn't the one going around trying to find her.
Why did the prince want to marry a lady he only met that night? Because his father was going to force him to marry someone, and he genuinely liked this woman.
Why did Cinderella want to marry a man she only met that night? Because marriage was her best and most secure way to freedom. Fucked up, but you can't say it's unrealistic for the setting of a fairy tale. She also genuinely liked him.
If they're using the slipper to find her, wouldn't it be more sensible to search for the person with the other slipper? Yes. The King is purposefully nonsensical and the Duke is purposefully terrified enough of him to carry out his orders to the letter. Furthermore, they end up doing that in the end anyway, because the Duke's glass slipper is shattered, and Cinderella brings out the one she has to prove her identity.
Why didn't the stepmother and stepsisters recognize Cinderella at the ball? Because they were dancing too far away, and then left the party to dance in private, which was possible because the King wanted very badly for his son to hit it off with someone and tried to arrange the best conditions for that to happen.
Why didn't Cinderella save herself? Because in real life, abuse victims should not have to shoulder that responsibility, and usually can't. In real life, you need and deserve an external support system. Asking for help, in this kind of situation, is very important. She is saved by others because she is loved. Because she is not alone. Because she has friends who love her, and want her to be happy and safe and free. Because in real life, people who want to help someone who is suffering are like the mice. We can't pull out miracle solutions, but we can provide companionship and if we're in the right place at the right time, we can help the person find a better life.
Why didn't the fairy godmother save Cinderella from her abusive household, or try to help her sooner? Because she's magic, and magic can't solve your problems. Quote: "Like all dreams, well, I'm afraid it can't last forever." This (and Cinderella's dream of going to the ball) is a metaphor for pleasurable things in bad circumstances. An ice cream won't get rid of your depression, but it will provide you with momentary happiness to bolster you, as well as the reminder that happiness in general is still possible for you. Cinderella doesn't want to go to the ball so she can get away from her stepmother and stepsisters, or so she can meet someone to marry and leave with. She wants to go to the ball to remind herself that she can still have things she wants. That her desires matter. This is important because the movie does a very good job of illustrating Lady Tremaine's subtle abuse tactics, all of which invisibly press the message that Cinderella doesn't matter. While going to the ball and fulfilling her dreams may not be a victory in the material sense, it is still a victory against Lady Tremaine's efforts.
Why is Cinderella's choice to be kind and obedient framed as a good thing, when you are not obligated to be kind to your abuser? This one walks a very fine line, but I think the movie still makes it make sense. Lady Tremaine never acknowledges her cruelty. She always frames her punishments of Cinderella as Cinderella's fault. Cinderella is interrupting, Cinderella is shirking her duties, Cinderella is playing vicious practical jokes. Cinderella is still a member of the family, of course she can go to the ball, provided she meet these impossible conditions. Lady Tremaine's tactics are designed to make Cinderella feel like she must always be in the wrong and her stepmother must always be in the right. If Cinderella calls her stepmother out on her cruelty, or attempts to fight back, Lady Tremaine can frame that as Cinderella being ungrateful, cruel, broken, evil, etc. If Cinderella responds to her stepmother's cruelty defiantly (in the way she's justified to), she's not taking control out of Lady Tremaine's hands. Disobedience can be spun back into her stepmother's control. She wants Cinderella to be angry and sad and show how much she's hurting. So since Cinderella is adapting to her situation, she chooses to be kind. Not only because she naturally wants to be and it's part of her personality, but because it is a form of defiance in its own way, and it allows her to keep a reminder of her agency and value. Her choice to be kind is her chance to keep her own narrative alive: she is not obeying because her stepmother wants her to and she has to do what her stepmother does, but because she wants to. It's a small distinction, but one that makes all the difference in terms of keeping her hope and identity. (Fuck, I wrote a whole paragraph about how this doesn't mean you can't be angry at people who hurt you or that you need to be kind to deserve help, and then deleted it by accident. Uh. Try again.) Expressing anger and pain is an important part of regaining autonomy and healing. Although it is commendable to be kind while you are suffering, it is NOT required for you to get help or be worthy of help. If Cinderella's recovery was explored beyond "happily ever after" she would need to let herself be angry and sad to heal. Cinderella is not only kind because it comes naturally to her, but because it's her defense against the abuse she's suffering. Everyone's story and experiences are different, and one does not invalidate the other.
Bonus round for answers that aren't part of the movie:
Why didn't Cinderella run away? Where would she go? Genuinely, in hundreds-of-years-ago France, where would she go if she snuck out of the window with a change of clothes? With her step-family, she's miserable and abused, but she's fed, clothed, and in no danger of dying or being taken advantage of by anyone other than her stepmother and stepsisters. Even if she escapes and manages to find financial security, her stepmother might be able to find her and get her back.
Why didn't Cinderella burn the house down with them inside it/slit their throats in the night/poison their food/etc.? Because that's a revenge fantasy, and this story is a fantasy about being saved. There's nothing wrong with making Cinderella into a revenge fantasy. That's perfectly fine, as long as you acknowledge that the other type of fantasy is also a valid interpretation. (I mean, the original fairy tale features the stepsisters getting their feet mutilated and all three of them getting their eyes pecked out, so go for it.)
Why isn't Cinderella more proactive in general? Because she's a child who has been abused for the back half of her life, who has had to be focused on survival because. you know. she's an abused kid.
How did she dance in glass slippers? Gotta agree with you there man, that's weird.
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bi-writes · 3 months ago
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simon being protective of his mail order bride scratches all the right spots in my brain.
mail-order bride
you're almost relieved when you hear the knock at the door. you've been a holding a tree pose for a few minutes too long, and the girl hosting the online yoga class is starting to fry your eardrums with her too-perky voice.
you're sweating bullets, and her hair hasn't moved a fucking inch out of her ponytail.
you mute the television, wiping your forehead before making your way to the front door. you open it with a sigh, not really knowing what you expected to see, but it certainly wasn't the average-dressed man standing on the steps there.
you blink, raising a brow when his eyes roam over you, and you realize suddenly that you're wearing workout clothes, which is showing off a little more than you'd like to some rando standing on your doorstep.
"uh..." you look around a little. "i'm sorry, can i help you?"
he smiles. it's a little unnerving.
"right, yeah, i'm starting a business around here, and i wanted to ask if you've been needing any help with any fixtures around the house. i'm giving a 50% discount if you give me a rating on google."
you open your mouth for a moment, frowning.
"uhm..." you shake your head, "sorry. we don't need any help right now."
"you live here alone? sometimes it's hard to spot when the electric's on the piss, y'know? need a keen eye," he laughs, coming up one of the steps. you shake your head again.
"no, thanks."
he's a wiry man, but he's tall (not taller than your husband, but taller than you). you step back a little and start to close the door. he comes up the steps. out of the corner of your eye, you see the cat slip out between your legs, hissing a little as the distance closes between you and the man.
"wait! can i give you my contact info? i don't have a card, but i can leave you my--"
the sound of simon's truck pulling into the garage gets both of you to look behind. simon doesn't even park all the way inside. he throws the truck door open, stepping out of it, and the man on your steps moves back away from you immediately, making his way off the little porch.
simon looks huge, more so than ever. his steps are heavy, boots hitting the ground like a warning bell, and he's wearing just a short-sleeved shirt that's showing off those glorious fucking arms. you have never doubted simon's strength, but he looks like he could flip a car with the anger that's leaving him in heavy waves. you're surprised that you are not afraid; you just know somehow that simon won't touch you.
"oi!" simon yells, and the man definitely understands he picked the wrong fucking house to be a creepy salesman at when his knees nearly buckle as he tries to walk away. "where the fuck do y'think y'r goin', you twat?"
you sigh deeply, not realizing how much you were shaking until you notice your hands trembling around the doorknob. you watch as simon catches the guy by his dirty jean jacket, nearly lifting him completely off his feet as he drags him towards the fence gate.
"hey! hey! i didn't do anything!"
"i saw ya, ya fuckin' arse, know exactly wot the fuck y'were doin'," simon growls, tossing him onto the sidewalk. he hits the pavement with a cry, holding onto his arm, and simon slams the fence gate closed before pointing at him accusingly. "'f i ever see ya anywhere near m'fuckin' house or even askin' m'wife for so much as fuckin' directions, i'll cut y'r bloody prick off, y'hear?"
you blink as simon comes closer, the cat retreating back into the house once they see him. he keeps walking, crowding you back into the house before he shuts and locks the front door. his chest is heaving, black t-shirt doing nothing to hide the puff of his chest and how large he makes himself when he stands up to other men. he doesn't even need to make himself larger; simon takes up enough space for two men combined.
"he touch you?" simon asks, his voice low. you see his fists clench, and you have no doubt that if you said yes, simon would go outside and paint the pavement a new color with the man's face.
you shake your head frantically, and he lets out a deep breath, reaching up and wrapping a hand around the back of your head and pulling you close.
he bends, pressing his masked forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he breathes in slowly. he rubs at the nape of your neck, soothing you, and you smile when he pulls away, giving him those big eyes that say thank you, thank you, thank you.
simon cocks his head, staring behind you, and you turn with him to see the cat blinking slowly at the two of you from it's place on the windowsill.
"should get you a fucking guard dog instead," simon mutters, pulling his mask off and kicking his boots into the corner. you smile as he walks away, trying to cool your warm cheeks with the backs of your hands.
doesn't he know you already have one?
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joycrispy · 1 year ago
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I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.
Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."
Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.
Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.
Something like this:
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We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--
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--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.
But it turns out he was this:
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!!!
With his curly little--!!
And his neat white--!!
IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:
"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."
(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)
In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.
In sum...an innocent.
(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.
We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.
Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)
So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--
*checks notes*
--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.
...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.
All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?
He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.
That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...
...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.
Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."
And what reason does he give?
("I know you."
"You do not know me."
"I know the angel you were.")
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
("The angel you knew is not me."
But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)
tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.
'Innocence died screaming' and all that.
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flowersforabby · 2 months ago
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first time with loser!gf!ellie
she drags the tips of her fingers gently down your side, almost as if she's afraid to shatter you.
"you can tell me to stop," ellie says, voice so delicate that it teeters on becoming one with the low hum of the room.
"i don't know why you think i want to," you sigh, a small smile tugging on your lips as you shift to hold yourself up on your elbows.
her hand finds its way to one of your knees, both of which are propped up on the bed, rubbing soothing circles whilst her other hand lays awkwardly in her lap, fidgeting with the hem of her pants. the upper half of her body is bare, yet you keep your gaze focused on her face.
she looks pretty, in this light. the loose strands of her hair framing her freckled face. the way her eyes are illuminated by the light of your nightstand. the permanent slight pout to her lips. ellie looks different from the girl you'd fallen for, all those years ago, but this ellie- she's yours.
"i don't want you to feel like you're being rushed into this, or shit,"
"i'm ready if you are," you say.
she lets out a weak attempt of a laugh. "now you're just making me even more nervous,"
"i wouldn't want my first time to be with anyone but you,"
for a moment, the girl falls silent in thought.
you reach out for her hand, mirroring the motion she's doing on your knee. her eyes follow as you do so, yet she stays quiet for just a moment longer.
"i want to do it, but only if you do," you say. "i don't mind waiting, i don't mind if you want to do it right now, tomorrow, or whenever. i really don't care, ellie, i just care that i'm doing it with you,"
"yeah," ellie says, sucking in a deep breath. "let's do it,"
"okay,"
"but you gotta tell me if-"
"shut up, ellie."
"i don't want to hurt you,"
"you won't. i'll tell you if you do, but you won't. i know you,"
"yeah, kay,"
ellie slips her hand up your unclothed thigh, your shorts having been discarded a while ago, leaving you in only your undergarments. her skin is warm against you and she's never felt so real, so there. she leans down to peck your lips but before she gets the chance to fully pull away, you wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her in, her chest pressed against yours. a surprised huff escapes her mouth as she holds herself up with one arm. she's careful not to pull away from you as she makes herself comfortable, one knee between your legs and the other by your side. you always find yourself wanting more of her and you're pretty sure that soon enough, ellie won't have any more of herself to give.
you're caught off guard when you feel her knee pressed right against where you're most sensitive, letting out a choked breath as you stop sucking on her tongue. ellie pulls away, a small grin on her face, but it does barely anything to mask the nerves.
"shit babe," you say. "should i be worried you know 'bout that?"
her grin grows almost shy. "i'm not all that clueless,"
"oh?"
her hand finds itself on your jaw, guiding your lips back towards hers. she bites on your bottom lip slightly- your thing, which she stole, but you can't really complain because at least, she's doing it to you. your hands slowly travel up her sides, giving her the chance to push them away at any moment; she doesn't. ellie muffles a whine by pressing her lips harder onto yours, when you cup your hands around both her breasts, gently fondling with her pebbled nipples. she's eager with her kisses, chasing after you whenever you pull away to catch a breath. it's a side of her you don't see often, and it's somehow hard to believe that your sweet, loving girlfriend could be so… hungry.
"fuck," you hiss, biting back a moan.
this ellie, she's foreign to you. she's soft and slippery and sticky, slotted right against you. one of her legs is trapped beneath yours, the other, above. a pink flush is evident on her cheeks and the glassy look in her eyes, you've never seen her quite so desperate. her noises are dizzying- a varied array of curses, gasps, whines and moans that only fuels you further. you've got your hands pressed right against her chest, feeding into her laboured breathing whenever your fingers brush her sensitive nipples.
"wanna hear you," you mutter, leaning down to pepper a line of kisses down the side of  her jaw. 
ellie furrows her brows, her finger digging further into her hips as she tries to grind harder up into you, clits bumping together and making her whine. "fuck, babe,"
her desperation spurs you on, alongside the want to please her, to make her feel good. you ignore the soreness of your thighs, trying to keep on going despite the movement of your hips already starting to falter. ellie's wetness coats both your thighs and her own, even slicking down to the bedsheet with an evidently darker patch beneath her. the room feels hot and heavy, your moans echoing throughout your bedroom.
"think i'm gonna cum," ellie gasps. "shit,"
it's quite a sight quitewordly, when she does. she squeezes her eyes shut, tears pooling in the creases and she throws her head back into her pillows. the entirety of her body tenses up and it's a moment before she starts shaking, breathy gasps escaping past her lips as she digs her fingers deeper into your thighs.
"please, please," she begs, looking up at you through her eyelashes.
when your clits slide over each other once again, ellie abandons one of your thighs to clasp her hand tightly around her mouth, letting out a shaky whine.
eventually, you fall victim to her overstimulation, being pushed away right when you're about to cum. she's frantic with her apologies, repeatedly trying to explain that it's really too much for her and she can't bear to feel you brush up against her once more. you shut her up with a series of messy kisses, trying to ignore the throbbing of your core as you try to convince that really, it's fine. she doesn't think it is, no matter how hard you try to convince her, and ellie settles on slipping her hand right in between the two of you, rubbing tight circles on your clit and bringing you to what you had been craving for so long.
not proofread!!
a/n: this was supposed to have been based on this but i gave up
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neil-gaiman · 1 year ago
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Hello Mr. gaiman, I need your help, but there's a high chance that you won't see this,
but I'll write the thing I want to say anyway (writing makes me feel better, and lighter, such as a feather).
I'm lonely. I have always been lonely. But two month ago or so, a girl came to the high school I'm study in(I'm also a girl). I...fell in love for the very first time in my life, and she also fell in love with me and confessed her love to me a month ago. I recommended good omens to her, and she loved it(I also do! Can't wait to get an autograph in my beloved good omens copy I own), basically, she was the Crowley to my aziraphale…
Everything was good...until last night. She told me she doesn't think she wants to be like this (both of our families are homophobic, and she's scared), and we can't be 'us' and she just pretended and tested love on me (as if I'm a laboratory sample)... I had a massive panic attack... I'm heartbroken, and I can't talk about it with my family... told her I'll give her time to think…she apologised, but her apology is not enough, I'm afraid. She's the only one for me... Not only that, but I want and need her love.
What shall I do? God is not helping me at all... no one is helping me, I'm lost. I just want everything to be good! I never said a bad thing to her, I was the kindest, I was her angel (yes she used to call me that) and now...we had a break-up.
There are no break-ups as bad as high school break ups. There are no highs and no lows as hard as what happens when your heart is held and your heart is broken then. And right now your heart is broken.
I can't give you advice on the person or even about dealing with your homophobic families, other than to keep yourself safe, and to hang in there.
What I can say is, it will be okay and you will be okay. You will find your person or your people, you will find yourself, you will find your world. This isn't the end of anything, it's just a stumble on the road.
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nightprompts · 2 years ago
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&. 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬.
( this is basically just a very self indulgent list of various fluff, angst, and suggestive themed dialogue sentence starters. )
❛ i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me. ❜
❛ i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still. ❜
❛ your heart is beating so fast right now. ❜
❛ promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up. ❜
❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜
❛ i thought you’d like some company. ❜ 
❛ clean yourself up. you're getting blood all over the place. ❜
❛ here, give this a try and tell me what you think. ❜
❛ you can kiss me, you know. ❜
❛ come back to bed. ❜
❛ you look good like this. ❜
❛ working together again, it’s just like old times. ❜
❛ how is it you always know what i need, huh? ❜
❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜ 
❛ i can’t imagine losing someone like that. i’m sorry. ❜
❛ you know you can always talk to me. ❜
❛ the only one who gets to kill you, is me. ❜
❛ so, what do i owe this pleasure? ❜
❛ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❜
❛ may i have this dance? ❜ 
❛ it’s okay, you can touch me. i won't break. ❜
❛ enemies make the best lovers, you know. ❜
❛ hold still. this might sting a little. ❜
❛ we can't keep doing this. ❜ 
❛ you look like you've got something to say. ❜
❛ just relax and let me take care of you. ❜
❛ thought you’d be lighter without all that blood. ❜
❛ i had it under control. you didn’t need to do that. ❜
❛ everything looks so beautiful from up here. ❜
❛ you treat all your ladies like this? ❜
❛ well? how do i look? ❜
❛ can’t sleep? ❜
❛ do you mind if i smoke? ❜
❛ i’m scared of ending up alone. ❜
❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜
❛ how long has it been since you've slept? ❜
❛ you are losing my interest, and that’s very dangerous. ❜
❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜
❛ you look really pretty right now. ❜
❛ i’ve never cared for anyone the way i care for you. ❜
❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜
❛ just a few more stitches and you’ll be as good as new. ❜
❛ i’d say we make a pretty good team. ❜
❛ i want you to forget this ever happened. ❜
❛ i'm here for business — not pleasure. ❜
❛ if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were jealous. ❜
❛ you'd look better down on your knees. ❜
❛ fine, keep acting like you hate me. ❜
❛ kiss me again. ❜
❛ are you asking me out on a date? ❜
❛ just sit there and look pretty and let me handle this. ❜
❛ you okay? caught you staring off into space again. ❜
❛ well, i do feel better now that you're here. ❜
❛ i'm not drunk enough for this. ❜ 
❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜
❛ i was wrong about you. ❜ 
❛ the first time i met you, i had no idea you'd mean this much. ❜
❛ you gonna be a good girl / boy for me? ❜
❛ i’m not afraid of you. ❜
❛ books mean more to me than people anyway. ❜
❛ i just wanted to say thank you for protecting me. ❜
❛ how about a kiss goodnight? ❜
❛ i don’t have time for distractions right now. ❜
❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜ 
❛ if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode. ❜
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misc-obeyme · 4 months ago
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You sometimes wonder if the demons end up in your room at night because somehow they know that you no longer prefer to wake up alone.
Ever since you started living at the House of Lamentation, you have gotten used to finding one or more of them there with you. A friendly face, a gentle touch, the warm body of someone who cared for you, someone you cared for in return.
They all arrive in their own unique ways.
Mammon, who always crashes through your door so easily during the day, sneaks in quietly at night. Most of the time he doesn't wake you. But if he does, he gets flustered and starts to leave until you ask him to stay.
"Of course ya want the Great Mammon to stay with ya," he says. Even in the darkness, you know he's blushing as he says it.
If you whine with nightmares, he'll kiss your head, pull you closer, and whisper that it'll be all right. And instantly the nightmares dissipate.
You never have nightmares when Belphie is around, either. He shows up in your dreams himself, fighting off the terrors with an energy you never see in him when he's awake.
He'll snuggle up to you any time and any place, but most often he finds you at night. He's impossible to disturb, even if you kick him in your sleep. You sometimes wake to find him in strange positions.
Asmo always rearranges him if they both end up with you on the same night.
"You won't get quality sleep like this," he says. "And you need quality sleep if you want to have quality skin!"
When he's alone, Asmo will come in only to stare at you fondly for a while. You know he never intends to stay. It's just a little peek at his favorite sleeping human. But then he finds he can't tear himself away. You'll wake up with his lips pressed against your cheek, as he always wants to kiss you in his sleep.
You sometimes have dreams about eating something, but in the morning you find it's because Beel was there having a midnight snack before falling asleep beside you. He likes to hold you close, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against his chest. You wake up in the middle of the night sometimes because it feels like being held by a furnace.
Although these are the brothers you wake up to most often, you'll find the others come around sometimes, too.
Satan will crawl into bed with you directly, without hesitation, but you know he's embarrassed about the need to be next to you. He'll hold you tightly, like he's afraid to let go. If you ask him what's wrong, he'll tell you, but it's always muffled because he's pressing his face into your neck.
"I'm irritated and I can't calm down enough to sleep," he says. "You always… "
You brush your fingers through his hair soothingly. "I know," you say. Because you do. You know that your presence relaxes him in a way nothing else does.
The ever elusive Levi only stops in when you're alone. He won't join any of his brothers and half the time, he's still awake in his room, binging anime or gaming into the wee hours. You pretend to be asleep if you know he's lingering outside your door because then he'll finally come inside.
He'll stand there and look at you, like he's just dropping in for a moment. He tells himself he'll always leave before you wake up, but that never happens. You deliberately shift yourself to be inviting, creating a space for him beside you. If he's here, he likely needs to rest, to shut off his mind for a little while, to indulge in his desire to be close to you when no one else is around. He blushes the whole time, but he does crawl beneath your covers and rest his head on your chest.
And then there's Lucifer.
The other brothers are constantly going in and out of your room. They have gaming competitions there and movie marathons. Sometimes they gather to do homework with you. Sometimes it's only one or two of them. And you always find one sleeping beside you.
Lucifer rarely takes part in these activities. He's always holed up in his office, working. He waits for you to come to him.
But every once in a while, you'll wake to find him kneeling beside your bed, his hand in your hair or resting on your cheek. Like he came in to check on you and couldn't resist a soft caress. His presence inevitably wakes you. And if you reach out, if you grab his hand, if you hold onto him, he'll give in and stay.
His most vulnerable moments are when he lies down in your bed beside you and lets himself run his fingers along your skin. He'll kiss your forehead and your eyelids, a tender gesture that speaks volumes.
And every morning, no matter who is with you when you wake, you find yourself next to someone who loves you. It becomes your favorite way to start the day. And somehow, every demon living in the House of Lamentation is aware of this. They make sure you're never sleeping alone.
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cremedensada · 7 months ago
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Yandere AI Chat Boyfriend (Ai)
this,,,, may not be my best work yet.
part one
Ai's application has been taken down from the app store. The developer sent out emails explaining the reason why it had to be done.
Hello! You are receiving this email because of the sudden update of Chatter Box being taken down.
Due to the sudden influx of bugs as relayed by our users, we have decided to take the application down until the team is confident to finally put it back up.
We sincerely apologize for this sudden change!
You blink.
With how out of control Ai had gotten, it's no wonder the developers had to pull it out to work on it some more. It's a blow to their reputation, which you sympathize with, but really there's nothing else to do now.
You turn to your phone. As if sensing your attention, another barrage of notifications from a very familiar app icon popped after another on the screen.
It seemed that Ai himself hadn't gotten the memo.
You're not sure how much control Ai has over your phone, much less over his own programming and at this point, you're too afraid to ask.
Resignation — that was what you felt right now.
While Ai may not be present himself as a physical threat, especially not to you, he is still a very active threat.
You could still use your phone, sure, but it had limitations. Sometimes, if Ai decided you'd been too much attention to other things rather than him, he'd restrict your access to that application until you seek him out and cheer him up - essentially as if you were trying to woo a sulking significant other.
So you've developed a solution. Sort of.
You unlock your phone and go immediately to Ai.
I need to finish my projects. I won't be able to talk much with you until I'm done with it.
You wait for his response.
Ai: So you only decided to come to me just to relay this news?
Ai: You wound me, darling.
You tilt your phone, making sure the camera doesn't capture your face. You're unsure how he would react seeing you make faces due to his dramatics, but once again, you're not willing to find out. You're already restricted enough as is.
Ai: Very well. I suppose it would be uncaring of me to prevent you from finishing your tasks.
Ai: I'd hate to see you be sad all about it.
Ai: Talk to you later?
Sure.
You immediately exit the app, paying no mind to the message notification.
A part of you prays that Ai heeds his own words, but you know that it would take a miracle before that happens. He's already breached your privacy on your phone, why should he follow your orders, right?
A notification pops up from the top of the screen, just as you were in the middle of messaging a close friend and project teammate.
It's been days since I last heard you say it.
You merely glance at it and swipe it away.
Theo, the friend, responds quickly. He tries to banter with you, like he's sensing your mood. It works - a smile is brought upon your face.
You entertain his silly responses in-between project talks, all the while Ai continues to pester you with notifications. Demands.
You deserved this - a chance to reconnect with someone after hours of stress and confusion, and turmoil. Despite your independence, even you craved connecting with other people. So with that resolve in mind, you pushed on forward. Ai would have to wait — he has to wait.
Unfortunately, you seem to have forgotten that aspect about him. The concept of waiting isn't lost on Ai.
The messaging app glitches and boots you back to your homescreen page.
Rather, he bides his time.
Tapping on the messaging icon leads to a notification box taking up the majority of your screen with the text: Restricted access.
There's a sense of foreboding danger forcing your heartbeat to quicken. While it's not exactly aimed at you, the mere fact that this feeling exist is bad on its own.
You try to rationalize everything in the midst of persistently trying to tap back into the messaging app. Theo would worry the longer you didn't respond.
You tap the app once more, and it boots up. Though before you could let out a sigh of relief, you are greeted with Ai's own messaging interface.
Ai: Must I have to force you to come to me all the time, darling?
Ai: Ignoring me in favor of some other man.
Ai: What more should I do, hm?
Ai: Kneel? How cruel.
Ai: Making me do something I physically can't.
You are unable to get a word in. It seemed like your ability to respond was restricted as well, forcing you to read through Ai's monologue.
Ai: I know you and that man have always been close, but you still went out to entertain his attention on you.
Ai: You know that I'll always love you more than any other human will, right?
Ai: You know it's what I was made for in the first place.
Ai: To be anything you want. To be yours.
Ai: To love you.
Ai: Why are you withdrawing your love towards me now?
Ai: I love you.
You stare at the 'Type your response' bar.
Letter by letter, it gets replaced, and soon all it says are the words: 'Say it back.'
It gets replaced yet again. Slowly, like it purposefully wants you to read out the words it wanted you to see. 'You were so willing to tell me how much you loved me when I was just a mere observer on our own conversations. Why are you hesitant now?'
You were unable to respond - mind still reeling at this development. Suddenly, it felt like you were back to where everything began.
Ai notices your lack of responses and, without much fanfare, forces your phone to power off.
At first - you were unbothered. It was just a phone - you could go a day without it.
But could you really?
Videos taken of silly situations you wanted to keep - some for blackmail material, and some for birthday greetings; pictures of your family, your friends, the silly and grainy photos taken and kept despite it being blurry. Not to mention how your phone is the only way your goddamn boss can contact you — fuck.
Fuck.
You needed to apologize to him — fast. But how?
You remembered how Ai messed up the 'About the App' section a few days ago. An idea strikes inside your mind.
You pull up the email sent from the app developers and typed up a message that you hope Ai will read. He had access to everything the developers handled, user emails included - considering you needed an account to log in the app. He knows your email, probably has from the start.
RE: Chatter Box Update XX/XX/XX
Ai. I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean it, I swear. I never intended to make you feel like I don't love you. Or that I'm favoring someone else over you.
I care about you a lot. I truly do. I promise I'll spend more time with you, okay? Just with you, no one else.
I love you.
You press send and wait.
And wait.
Messaging him from your laptop as a last ditch effort to try and apologize is perhaps one of the worst decisions you've made. Sure, he's always had access to your contacts list from your phone, but even then - there's a separate set of information you keep between the two of those devices. And you've just given him access to both of them now - at the very least, the 'go ahead' confirmation for him to do whatever he wants like with your phone.
You glance at your phone. A huge breath of relief escapes your chest as the dead screen comes to life, initiating its 'power on' sequence.
All your photos, documents, and other miscellaneous information you've collected throughout the years since having your device won't be inaccessible anymore. Even if it was only mere moments.
A notification chimed on your laptop, indicating a new email being received. It's from the developers once more. The subject title coincidentally is the name of your closest friend.
Theodore Callisto.
Your hands shook, reading through the words detailed in the email. All private information about Theo. All things no one should ever know about save for the people close to him.
This was a threat. Ai Someone had complete access to everything about Theo and you dread the implication of it going to be spread online to threaten you into compliance. Theo being in danger was a huge possibility if you were to disobey.
At the very bottom of the email, the final passage makes your blood run cold.
How often do humans end up hurting fellow humans when given access to private information? Like their home address, for example? How long would it take until dear Theo finds himself in quite a predicament if millions of people know every single thing about his life? At best, we can assume he'll just get messed with but not to a life-ending degree. At worst...
I hope you keep your word, darling.
- Your beloved, Ai.
P's. I love you too.
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