#i'm afraid i won't do right enough by you

[kyliebabe]

Matt sturniolo x reader

Summary: Your boyfriend Matts clearly upset, not letting you know what’s wrong, afraid of being venerable, he opens up telling you how he feels like he’s not good enough, and you comfort him

Warnings: A tiny bit of angst, but mainly just tooth rotting fluff <3

matt crossed his arms, sitting beside you in the back seat after the video was done. he was clearly upset over something. every time you made a comment to nick or chris he would roll his eyes, and he refused to say anything. the minute you pulled in the driveway he ran off inside. He sat in his room scrolling mindlessly on his phone. you mentally groaned as you followed after him.

“hey what up?” I say sweetly sitting next to him on our shared bed.

Matt's posture stiffens, and he tenses up. He slowly turns to face you, his expression unreadable. He hesitates before speaking, his voice cold and distant “Nothing. Just leave me alone.” He turns back to his phone, clearly not wanting to engage in a conversation.

I let out a huff, pouting looking at him, his face visibly upset.

Matt's gaze flickers briefly to you before returning to his phone. He sighs quietly, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. After a moment of silence, he speaks again, his tone slightly softer "Look, I'm just not in the mood to talk right now, okay?"

“okay” I Say softly “are you mad at me?” I say anxiously biting my nail in anticipation, waiting for his answer.

Matt pauses, then turns to face you fully, his expression torn. He lets out a harsh sigh, running a hand through his hair frustratingly. After a moment, he admits softly “I don’t know, maybe.”

“do you want to talk about it?” I question nervously.

Matt pauses, then turns to face you fully, his expression torn. He lets out a harsh sigh, running a hand through his hair frustratingly. After a moment, he admits softly “I don’t know, maybe.”

“do you want to talk about it?” I question nervously.

Matt's expression softens a bit, and he hesitates before speaking. He looks into your eyes, searching for something. He bites his lower lip, then says quietly "It's... complicated. I'm just... frustrated, I guess." He breaks eye contact, looking down at his lap.

“do you want a hug?” I ask with a small smile hesitantly.

Matt looks up at you, a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. He swallows hard, then nods softly “Yeah, actually. That would be nice.”

I climb into his lap pulling him into a warm embrace, softly scratching my nails through his hair comfortingly.

Matt's arms wrap tightly around your waist as he buries his face in your chest. His body relaxes, and he lets out a soft sigh. He mumbles into your chest "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you earlier."

“it’s okay honey, don’t worry about it” I softly hum placing a soft kiss to the top of his head lovingly.

Matt nuzzles closer, his arms tightening around you possessively. He tilts his head back, looking up at you with puppy-dog eyes. He pouts slightly "Promise you won't be mad at me?"

“I promise sweetheart” I reply with a loving smile “I would never judge you, if it’s bothering you than it’s important to me” I softly sigh out looking at him with nothing but love in my eyes.

Matt's face brightens ever so slightly at your promise. He nods, his eyes never leaving yours. He takes a deep breath, his expression growing more serious. After a moment, he says quietly "I love you."

“I love you too honey, now do you want to tell me what’s wrong”, I ask sweetly.

Matt nods, his expression growing somber. He runs a hand through his hair, then looks down at his lap, collecting his thoughts. After a moment, he speaks softly "I've just... been feeling really frustrated lately."

I nod reassuringly, encouraging him to continue.

Matt looks up at you, his expression conflicted. He swallows hard, then admits "I feel like no matter what I do, I can't make you happy. Like I'm not good enough for you." He looks down again, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Matt sweetheart, you know that’s not true” I say with a head tilt my eyes filled with sadness “you know how much I love you right? I would never, ever want to change you, okay? your perfect, and I love you just the way you are” I softly say with a smile.

Matt looks up at you, his eyes glistening with slight tears. He reaches out and takes your hand, holding it tightly. "I know you say that, but sometimes I wonder..." He takes a shaky breath. "I just don't want to disappoint you."

“you could never disappoint me baby, your my future, okay?” I say looking into his eyes reassuringly.

Matt's expression slowly softens, and he nods, his grip on your hand tightening. He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. "I love you so much," he whispers. "Sometimes I get scared that I'll mess everything up." His voice is barely audible, laced with vulnerability.

“I get that hun, but I promise you, you could never lose me, I’m in this for life, okay?” I say looking into his eyes.

Matt's eyes well up with tears, and he nods, his lips trembling. He leans in, pressing his lips gently to yours. The kiss is soft and comforting, filled with love and promise.

As I pull away from the kiss I softly wipe his tears “do you know how much I love you?” I question with a smile.

Matt takes a shaky breath, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as you wipe away his tears. "I... I think I do," he murmurs. "But sometimes I need to hear it." He reaches up, cupping your face in his hands.

“you know the highlight of my day is whenever I get to see you, anytime your on your way to pick me up for a date I’m always giddy, like a teenager, I love you so so much and I don’t want you to ever think your not enough for me, okay? No matter what you think about yourself, any of those thing you see as flaws are the things I love about you, because it’s what makes you who you are, and I love that about you, I wouldn’t change it for the world, okay matty?” I say reassuringly looking in his eyes.

Matt's expression softens, and he nods, his thumbs gently brushing away the tears that have started to fall from his own eyes. He pulls you into a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of your neck. "Thank you," he whispers, his voice choked with emotion. "I..."

“it’s okay baby, you never have to thank me for loving you” I reply softly stroking the back of his head.

Matt pulls back slightly to look at you, his eyes shining with a mixture of love, gratitude, and lingering vulnerability. "I know, but... I need you to know how much it means to me." He takes a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm sorry for breaking down like this."

“hey, hey, don’t ever apologise this is what I’m here for okay, if you ever feel upset just come to me, your my boyfriend, of course I’m going to comfort you, your the love of my life” I reply looking into his eyes with a smile.

Matt's face breaks into a watery smile, and he leans in to kiss you tenderly. "I love you so much," he murmurs against your lips. He nuzzles into your neck, his body relaxing against yours. "Will you..."

“will I what matty” I reply reassuringly.

Matt takes a shaky breath. "Will you stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone with my thoughts. They get so loud sometimes, and you're the only one who can quiet them." He looks up at you pleadingly, a rare moment of vulnerability.

“yes of course I will honey, you never have to be afraid to ask, I promise you it’s not an inconvenience I wouldn’t trade spending time with you for the world, okay?” I reply cupping his cheeks softly.

Matt's face crumples, and he buries his face in your chest, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. He wraps his arms around your waist, holding on tightly as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go. "Thank you,"

I hug him tighter, playing with his hair, softly placing kisses on the top of his head lovingly.

Matt clings to you like a life raft, his fingers digging into your back as he continues to cry softly. After a few minutes, he pulls back slightly, his eyes red and puffy. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, wiping away his tears.

“hey no don’t apologise baby, it’s okay, emotions are normal, I would never judge you, I love you so much, all of you” I say with a smile giving him a soft little poke in the chest playfully pointing at him.

Matt gives a watery chuckle at your playful gesture, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Alright, alright, I get it. I'm amazing, right?" He attempts a grin, but it's still a bit wobbly.

I let out a soft giggle at his remark pulling him in for a quick, soft, loving peck on the lips.

Matt's face lights up with a genuine smile, and he pulls you in for a tighter hug. "I love you," he whispers. "More than anything." He takes a deep breath, his body relaxing against yours. "Can we... can we just stay like this for a while?"

“of course we can honey, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else” I mutter comfortingly into his hair before placing a kiss on his head.

Matt nuzzles into your chest, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. He takes slow, steady breaths, his body relaxing as he clings to you. After a few moments, he speaks softly. "I think... I think I might be falling asleep."

I let out a soft giggle “do you want to move so you’re laying down?” I question with a smile.

Matt nods slightly, his fingers digging into your back as he begins to slide down your body, settling into your lap. "Just like this," he murmurs sleepily, his eyes fluttering closed.

I let him cuddle into me lightly stroking his hair, looking down at him with a loving smile of contentment on my face.

As you stroke his hair, Matt's breathing slows, and he snuggles deeper into your embrace. His face rests against your chest, and he lets out a soft, contented sigh, his body finally relaxing into sleep. "Love you," he mumbles, his words slurred and sleepy.

“I love you more baby” I whisper lovingly as he drifts off to sleep.

Matt's face breaks into a soft, dreamy smile, and he nuzzles closer to you, his body warm and trusting in your arms. As you sit there holding him, you can feel the weight of his emotions lifting, the darkness in his mind receding as he loses himself in sleep.

Sorry if this is bad guys this is my first post lol

Feel free to leave feedback, or any requests 🫶

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

so as it seems that you seem to be busy with life, it seems only fair to drop what idea crumbs I have to help tide you over while you deal with life.

imagine this if you will, in one of the many days they spend travelling, reader spirit and the cubs have found a hot spring to relax in after harsh and cold weather, and everyone is taking the time to clean and enjoy the warmth. the cubs are out of sight, assumingly having fun in a further part of the spring, and reader and spirit have bonding time talking about their pasts, helping clean each other’s hair and whatever else girls do in a girls night.

during all of this, the conversation ends up on readers family and how she is worried about their reactions to her being missing. spirit asks about her family, and reader respond; mum, dad, any applicable siblings and pets. and spirit asks if reader is married/mated/whatever term spirit is familiar with. reader says no. fiance? nope. boyfriend? nope. so… any crushes? none on any real people but do fictional count? spirit says sure, tell the stories of your fictional crushes

so

do you remember the ask?

where you said that reader has a crush on sun wukong and macaque?

what are the odds reader has figured out that she is in jjtw and not generic chinese/eastern fantasy?

from her perspective, they would absolutely be fictional with what little info she had. so she spills all the info about them and their adventures and why she had a crush on them, only for spirit to go at the end:

“you know that they're real, right?”

“wat”

“and warlords?”

“???”

and so spirit informs her with what info she has on them, their battles and conquests, and what exactly they tend to think of humans and do to them.

“best to avoid them at all costs, and keep your knowledge between us”

and so, everything said is kept secret between reader, spirit, and the six eared macaque who immediately spills the secrets to sun wukong.

his ears still work, even in the form of a cub, you know?

what would they focus on, her knowledge about their future, or the fact that she has a crush on them?

anyways hope life gets better and you get good sleep soon.

Eek!! Thank omg the feels!!

Spirit would totally try to keep Reader away before she even finds out who the cubs are. (I'm still trying to think of a reason that she hasn't clued in on Macaque. Oh, maybe most people just can't see his ears. They why would reader? Damnit I'm ranting my own questions for my own au!! )

They would totally be concentrated on how she likes them. A few exchanged words on how she knows about them sure and the future. But mostly, their darling likes them!! So why is Spirit telling her to stay away!? No that won't do at all.

They will be righting that... by righting that Wukong will probably give Spirit several scratches. He's a monkey cub. They can't really hurt her and adult monkey demoness.

At least not yet anyway. I gotta say that Spirit is putting a target on her back. Of course, they have figured out that by now, they can't kill her. That would absolutely wreck Reader's life in a bad way. They saw how she reacted with Spirit getting hurt.

But Boi, they will be very vocal about how she had crushes on them once they return to normal. Oh boy, they will be over the moon!

She can definitely expect (though unknowingly) to get lots of Monkey cuddles tonight.

Of course this also brings up how she'd react to knowing that they are real and warlords!? Okay so finding out that they're real is scary enough. She may have a crush but that doesn't mean she isn't also afraid. They killed people after all. Sun Wukong fought against the celestial realm and almost won! And to her limited knowledge of the jttw storyline Macaque had almost as much power as he did.

Of course in the original Macaque was cannibalistic apparently. (I haven't read that part. I know more of lmk than jttw but I'm trying to read it, slowly) HE IS NOT CANNIBALISTIC IN MY AUS! Why because I said so.

But Reader doesn't know this and so she is absolutely terrified. They were also last spotted where she had appeared when she came to this world. Did they know who she was? Did they hear her? She of course pushes these thoughts away, she shouldn't be ridiculous.

"They are the Demon Monkey Warlords. They don't just hunt humans, they hunt for their territories and valuables. They won't go out of their way to hunt you... unless they get curious or they might. No, no don't cry!"

Let's just say she will definitely be stressed, luckily her little monkey friends are their to give her some stress free snuggles.

Thank you! I got to write something today cause of this. I am still working on other asks I have. But for now, this is what I've got. If anyone has ideas like this... send them my way. This made me really happy.

Thank you!!

I loved this ask!! Thank you!! Hopefully, I'll have some time this weekend to finish writing out the responses for the asks I have in my inbox. And hopefully work on the next part some more. Hehe~ the monkeys thought they could- shoot no spoilers.

[famesau]

How They RDR2 Boys Kiss You

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 I'm only doing Kieran, Charles, and Javier for now (Might do Dutch and John later..) because I love them tehe. These are my personal headcanons! Also, I won't be writing them as bullet points more like one shots okay??? GREAT!

( Also the Kieran and Javier pictures are my screenshots, the Charles one is a random one I found in Pinterest--)

Kieran Duffy//First Kiss

Inexperienced 

You and Kieran were smitten with one another but he was always too nervous to make his moves and if he did it wouldn't last long. He'd get enough courage to hold your hand but once you noticed he'd pull back, fearing he was being too forward. You'd reassure him every time but his jitters would always get the best of him. So instead of letting him make the moves you decide to. When you noticed he wanted to hold your hand you'd happily take his in yours. When he wanted a hug you'd eagerly hug him back. You both weren’t official but there was definitely something here. Something new you’ve noticed was how often he’d stare at your lips. At first, you thought it was because you had something on your face or something in your teeth but soon you knew why he was doing that. He wanted to kiss you. It was painfully obvious but he wasn’t confident enough to make such a forward move. You’d catch how he’d subtly lean closer than usual but quickly back away if you caught him. After a few days of this continuous pattern, you decided to make your move again. 

It was night in the camp and all the members were heading to their camp to sleep or spend a few more minutes around the campfire. Kieran as you expected was near the edge of camp, leaning his back against a boulder while he was whittling a small twig to pass the time. It was easy to find him, if he wasn’t with you he was either there or with the horses. With a small smile, you walked up to him. He quickly noticed you. He tossed his stick aside and looked up at you, a slightly nervous but happy look in his greyish-green eyes. 

“Come with me.”

You said, extending your hand towards him. He assumed you were taking him to your tent like other nights to hang out so he took your hand and helped himself up. He happily followed after you, looking forward to spending time with you. Little did he know he was in for a pleasant surprise. 

Once inside you led him to your bed and sat, pulling him to sit down next to you. A smile was still on his face as he waited for you to speak. You turned your attention to him but remained quiet. Like you expected he started to watch your lips, admiring their shape and wishing he could kiss you. His daze ended when he felt your hands cup his cheeks. His eyes quickly darted to meet your eyes, a noticeable amount of blush on his cheeks as he noticed the look in your eyes. A look he couldn’t quite figure out. 

“Y-you okay?”

He asked before you pulled his face down towards you and kissed him. When you kissed him he jolted and stiffened immediately, a soft whimper coming right after. While your eyes were closed his were wide open, looking at you in utter disbelief. His cheeks burned a deep red from the soft and tender sensation of your lips against his. But as quickly as he jumped, he quickly melted into the kiss. His body slumped slightly so he could comfortably kiss you. You could tell he was a bit inexperienced from the way he kissed you back. When his lips found their way back to yours he was a little rough with eagerness but he didn’t try to explore your lips more. You however weren’t afraid to do so. You held the kiss, letting him get comfortable before doing anything else. While your hands cupped his scruffy cheeks you gently nipped his lip, asking for entrance, which rewarded you with a sweet whimper from him. You could feel his cheeks warm up and his body jump but he was definitely enjoying it. His eyes fluttered shut and he allowed you to take control. He hesitantly parted his lips for you and waited for you to continue. Though you were eager you took it slow, carefully slipping your tongue into his mouth. His body shivered from the sensation and let out a small moan when you did.  Slowly you lapped your tongue over his and he would soon do the same. His movements were awkward at first but once you both found a nice pace he grew more confident. His hands at first were resting on his lap but he deeply craved to touch you. So he extended them and shakily placed them on your hips. His hands only rested there for a moment before he started to pull away, thinking he was being too bold but you stopped him. You pulled your hand from his face and placed it over one of his hands. Reassuring him that this was okay, that he could touch you freely. The feeling of your hand over his made his grip on your hips tighten slightly. His fingers gently ruffled the fabric of your clothes, enjoying how your body felt beneath his hands. Without breaking the kiss he pulled you closer to him, closer than you already were. Now your chest and his were pressed against each other, his hands still wrapped snuggly on your hips while your hands fell from his face to his shoulders. You draped your arms over his shoulders and hugged his neck, kissing him with a little more hunger, and like clockwork he matched your pace, still letting you have the most control. This went on for a longer, him too desperate to stop and you having too much fun. Soft noises could be heard from both parties but he was a little nosier than you.  As fun as this was eventually you both had to pull back to catch your breath. As you both pulled away a small string of spit connecting you both before it broke. You both remained pressed against each other, feeling each other's chest expand and deflate quickly. You both exchanged surprised but happy glances at each other. His face was a much darker shade than yours but you both enjoyed that equally. You were about to pull away from him but that firm but gentle grasp on your hips stopped you. He leaned a little closer to you and with a soft and tender gaze he asked…

“..C-can we do that again? Please..?”

Charles Smith// On TheLips

First Kiss

You and Charles were dating but not for too long. He’s been in the gang for a little over six months and you’ve been dating for only 2 months. He was the one who seemed interested in you in his way. He wasn’t much of a talker but he’d say hey to you whenever he could. You were never bothered with how quiet and reserved he was and that made him like you more. You were patient with him and it did pay off. His way of “confessing” wasn’t really confessing.  When you weren’t busy and he was on guard duty he walked up to you and asked you to hunt. Of course, you’d join and each hunt went well but they felt different, more intimate. He’d talk more, occasionally asking you questions or sharing facts with you. What started as genuinely just hunting together would later be more like dates. You’ll ask each other to hunt just to spend more one-on-one time together. Of course, you’d actually hunt but that wasn’t the main focus. This went on for a while and of course, over time feelings started to grow. You both were closer than most and understood each other on a deeper level. Neither of you felt the need to ask the other out because you both knew what y’all wanted, each other. 

Even though you were both dating you never properly kissed. It was always a quick cheek kiss or forehead kiss. He also wasn’t overly touchy with you which never bothered you. You knew his way of showing appreciation was through acts of service most times so it never bugged you, but it did make you cherish the moments he was physically intimate with you. 

Today he was going out with a few other gang members for a job, one that might have him away for a day or so. This wasn’t out of the ordinary for him so when he departed you said your goodbyes and went about your day. Sure you missed him but you knew he’d come right back so it never worried you. But today was a little different. You didn’t know but the mission today had a much greater risk than the others. They were going to rob a bank in Saint Denis with a majority of the members attending except for you and a few others. Some people had to stay put and keep watch of the place so you volunteered. Charles was glad you decided to stay due to the high risks this mission had but he kept that to himself. While others were looking for guns and going over the plans, Charles was by his horse Tamia, giving her a few brushes before he left.  He was dressed in a suit, you never saw him this dressed up before but you did like it a lot. The cool colors complimented him well. Since he was alone you thought this was a perfect time to say your farewells. He quickly noticed you approach him, taking his attention away from Tamia and now fully on you. He greeted you with a small smile and you did the same.

“You look nice.”

“Thank you, need something?”

“Nope, Just seeing you off .”

You said as you took a few steps closer to him and began to fix his clothes lightly, smoothing out the ruffles on his vest and straightening the ribbon around his neck. He stood still, looking down at you while you fixed his clothes. When you finished you gave him a soft pat on his chest and another smile. He gave you a small nod in appreciation but his gaze lingered on you as you stepped away from him. 

“Be safe out there Charles, Make sure they don’t do anything stupid.”

“I will. Can’t make any promises bout that but we’ll see.”

You and he share a small chuckle, knowing damn well that stopping them from being stupid was highly unlikely but hey you could hope. You were just about to leave his side but something stopped you, it was the look in his eyes. You were good at picking up subtle things like that. He looked like he wanted to say or do something so you turned back to him, slightly tilting your head up at him. Just as your lips parted to speak he cut you off with a question.

“May I kiss you?”

 Your eyes widened slightly, surprised by his question. You stared back at me for a few seconds before laughing quietly.

“Pfft- you don’t have to ask to do that. But yeah.”

You turned your cheek towards him, expecting one of those kisses but that's not what he had in mind. He gently grabbed your chin and made you look up at him. Your gaze grew a little confused but in a matter of seconds, he pulled your chin up and leaned down, giving you a soft yet tender kiss. Your body grew stiff from the suen feeling is his lips against yours. His lips were plump, warm, and soft. You’ve wondered how kissing him would feel like, and now that it was happening your mind short-circuited. His fingers remained on your chin, keeping you in place as he continued to kiss you just a few seconds longer. Just as you felt yourself starting to relax into the kiss he pulled back. He looked down at you with a small smile on his lips and the faintest of red on his cheeks. You looked back at him, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open as you processed what just happened. There weren’t many times he could catch you off guard and this was one of those times. 

“You alright?”

He asked, brushing his thumb against your chin then gently pushing your chin up, closing your mouth for you. He didn’t expect you to react like that but it was a little amusing. He tilted his head a little, keeping his eyes on you as he awaited your answer. 

“ I uh..yeah. Yeah, I‘m fine.”

You said, clearing your throat at the end as you blinked a few times. Trying to regain your calmness but your heart wouldn’t let you. It raced quickly and loudly as you watched him, a soft glint of admiration in your eyes. His gaze too grew softer as he watched you but it was cut short by his name being called by Arthur. His hand fell from your chin and rested on your shoulder, giving it a gentle and firm squeeze before he left your side.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Mhm…Be safe out there.”

You saw him walk off and join the others, loading up into the wagons and starting to ride out of camp. As you watch Charles slowly fade into the crowded trees with the others you bring your hand to your lips and gently brush your fingertips against them. Feeling that sensation of Charles's lips against yours. You weren’t sure why he felt like today he would kiss you but you weren’t upset, far from it actually. He wasn’t sure why he did too. He wasn’t the type to overly worry when it came to jobs like this but after losing Sean and Kieran not too long ago to jobs gone wrong he felt a pit of anxiety swell in his stomach that he kept it under wraps. Maybe that was the reason he felt like kissing you, anxiety does make you do crazy things at times but he’d be a liar if he were to deny that it didn’t help. He enjoyed it a lot more than he thought he thought he would and as he silently rode in the wagon alongside Bill he felt his calmness coming back. 

Javier Escuella// Boby Kisses

Body Kisses

You and Javier have been together for a long while. Everyone knew and approved of your relationship, they always mentioned how happy he seemed now that he was dating you. He never thought he was the most attractive person in camp but that didn’t stop him from pamering himself and of course, flirting with those he found attractive as well. When you first joined the gang he was skeptical of you and your past but he kept any insults to himself due to his attraction towards you. Once you proved yourself and started to warm up with the gang he slowly began to hit on you, complimenting you in Spanish knowing you didn’t understand him. You and many others could agree that his flirting skills were terrible but you found it endearing how hard he was trying. Eventually, you were the one who asked him out, which not only shocked him but made him love you more. No person ever returned the genuine interest in him, he was always the one making the moves so this change was new but made him extremely happy. 

Your relationship with him was very lovey-dovey even now. He was a very romantic person, he’d always flatter you, compliment you, and get you things when he was out. He especially loved when you would sit near him at the campfire while he sang. The smile you both would give each other while he played and you tried to sing along made his heart flutter every time. He never had the opportunity to properly love someone so he made sure with you he did it right. He always made sure you knew verbally and physically how much he appreciated you, even after a long day where all he wanted to do was turn in. You insisted that he didn’t have to but he never listened.

Today however was rough for you. You were in Valentine making a few extra bucks for the gang and it went well. Up until you were on the way back to camp. You were ambushed on a bridge by some O’Driscolls. Thankfully it was only a handful of them so you handled them as quickly as you could but not without getting a few injuries. It was nothing too serious, just a few bruises and scraps but you were rewarded for handling them. They were carrying a couple hundred bucks on them so you took it as well as any other valuables to bring back to camp. You’d be a fool if you left all these goodies behind.

Upon your arrival, you were greeted by Charles and Lenny who were keeping watch. You rode into camp, being greeted by a few other gang members as you hitched your horse and stumbled slightly. Your body was tired from working all day and that O’driscoll run-in made it much worse for you. Before you went to your tent you had to give some of your findings to the camp. So you strolled your tired body to the donations box and put in some jewels and a few hundred bucks you found on the O’Driscoll’s corpses. Your generous donation wouldn’t go unnoticed, once you finished up there you were greeted by a firm grasp and the smell of a cigar and lavender.

“Looks like somebody's been working real hard!”

“You could say that Dutch heh..”

It was the Dutch Van Der Linde who then thanked you for your contributions. You hoped to just head to bed but he began going on about how this money would help everyone get to Tathi and how everyone would be alright. While he held you hostage and rambled on Javier quickly noticed you. He was sitting near the campfire, strumming one of his favorite songs while he looked at you. A soft smile brushed his lips as he watched you. He too had been out and about most of the day but he was looking forward to seeing you. He hoped you’d join him near the fire and share stories about your day. But he noticed how sluggish you looked, how your hair and clothes were roughed up, and how you walked with a slight limp. When you finally managed to escape Dutch you quickly excused yourself and went to your tent for some well-needed sleep. You were so focused on getting some sleep you didn’t notice Javier. When you walked off he quickly put his guitar down and went to follow you. Eager to make sure you were alright. When you entered our tent you quickly closed the flap door and flopped onto your cot with a heavy sigh. For the first time in a while, the bed felt soft and comfortable. Your aching body relaxed into the bedding and your eyes fluttered shut. You didn’t take your clothes or boots off from how tired you felt, you’d probably kick them off in your sleep anyway. Just when you began to tune out everything and drift to sleep Javier’s soft voice filled your ears. He was there in your tent as you flopped down, he called out to you but you didn’t answer, accidentally tuning him out at first. 

“Mi Amor?”

He called out softly as he slowly stepped towards you. You turned your head towards him slightly, remaining on your chest, too tired to try and move again. When your eyes met his worried danced across his features. You gave him a tired smile, glad to see him.

“Hi javi..”

“Are you alright?”

He asked, taking a seat on your bed near you and placing a comforting hand on your lower back, gently rubbing it. 

“Not really, but I will be..”

You mumbled, shifting your body, now you were lying on your side with your back facing him. His hand followed your curves and rested on your side now. Hearing that you weren’t okay made a frown tug his lips. He wanted to know what happened, feeling a bit of anger bubble up from someone daring to harm you but he didn’t want to burden you with questions tonight. So instead of asking questions he decided to help you relax. He pulled his hands away from your side and took your boots off for you. He carefully worked them off and placed them next to your cot. When he finished he crawled into the bed with you, returning his hand to your side. He leaned forward and began to litter small but sweet kisses on your neck. His facial hair tickled your skin as he kissed down your neck. Each kiss was sweet and gentle. Your body almost instantly relaxed when he kissed you, something was so hypnotizing about his kisses. This went on for a minute or so longer, his hand rubbing small circles as he traveled up your neck and to your cheek. 

“Estarás bien mi dulce..”

“You’ll be fine my sweet..���

He whispered sweetly as he wrapped his arms around you, pressing his chest against your back and chin on top of your head. No matter how hard the day was he made sure to check on you and you adored that so much. It was like all the aches and pains went away the moment his lips came in contact with your skin. Your body melted into his grasp happily. You knew he’d mostly stay with you tonight like many other nights so you didn’t bother moving out of his touch. With staggered breath you rolled over, now facing him. He pulled back a little and loosened his grip so you could move around better. He curiously looked down at you and wondered what you were doing quietly. You shifted your body upwards in bed and kissed him, a thank you for coming to check on you. Instantly he kissed you back, his grasp on you tightening slightly. The softest of moans slipped his lips as he kissed you passionately. He wasn’t expecting it but he’d never complain when receiving any amount of physical contact with you. You and he held the kiss a few seconds longer before you pulled away. When you pulled back he smiled down at you, a lovesick look in his eyes. He really did love you.

“Thanks javi..”

“You don’t have to thank me, I’d do anything for you my love.”

With a tired but happy smile, you returned to your original position, your back against his chest. He pulled you in a bit closer and returned his chin on top of your head. And there you both remained for the night, him happily holding you and you happily drifting to sleep in his arms.

If these do good I'll make a part two for John and Dutch. I had so much fun writing these tee <33

[starguardianniom]

Billy and Lighter

I love their dynamic so much.

Freaking Lighter of all people sees Billy as his worthy rival.

Ngl but I legit think it's because Billy is the only one he can fight without being afraid of passing out.

Given Lighter faints at the sight of blood and that Billy is an android, if Billy gets hurt he will probably leak oil, but no blood, which is perfect for Lighter.

I honestly, half-seriously thinks that's the sole reason Lighter considers Billy is rival, because he won't risk embarassing himself if he manages to hurt Billy while fighting as Billy has no blood for him to faint to.

But he also does respect him given he thinks highly of him and actually likes him like a brother too.

They playfully tease one another but you can also clearly see that Lighter has a high opinion of Billy and is also happy for him to have found happiness somewhere else too, and that's so wholesome, my heart.

I was pratically screaming of joy in my head the entire time yesterday when I speedrun the chapter (I had the day off lucky me so I used it to clear out chapter 4 entirely yeah!).

I took so many pictures, will upload them this weekend, now I need to go do that certification exam to get my people to level 50, given I need to level up pretty much everyone I have right now (Billy, Anby, Nicole, Corin, Soukaku, Ben, Anton, Seth, Jane and Lucy are the characters I currently have the game refuses me Piper and just sended me a lil army of Corins, Anby and Soukaku, now I have Anby and Soukaku to M4 and Corin to M3, though it gave me Billy M2 and Seth M2 thank god) I'll be at it for a while.

But honestly I expected Lighter to be a bit more mean toward Billy and feeling superior to him but it seems like I was worried for nothing, Lighter loves Billy and Billy loves him back, though I'm pretty sure Billy also thinks that he wasn't able to escape Lighter entirely given he now has Anby around. XD Lighter keeps forgetting things and Anby keeps forgetting the line between fiction and reality, I imagine Billy must be used to Anby because he had to spend half his time reminding Lighter of stuff all the time. XD

I swear Billy had it better than Lighter back then, given he was the Champion that means he was the strongest of the Sons of Calydon, which means he's stronger than Big Daddy, and Big Daddy is most likely the one who raised and taught Caesar how to fight, so if she didn't get the title of Champion back then, then Billy was most likely strong enough to beat her too and Big Daddy. But then he left. But he also got to meet Lighter before that, but Lighter is weaker than Caesar but still has the title for some reason, so it's a bit murky there as to why they needed 2 champions.

I think Billy wanted to leave or something happened that made him leave and then Big Daddy brought in Lighter to pick up his title but Billy sticked around long enough to make sure Lighter was up for the job given they have a good brotherly friendly rivalry relationship together so once Billy thought Lighter was ready he gave him his title and left. And then Caesar got to be the new boss of the Sons of Calydon when Big Daddy retired, and was strong enough that she was able to beat Lighter apparently.

But the title of Champion is basically being the number 2 of the gang, so if the leader isn't around it's most likely the champion calling the shots and making sure everything is alright and settling disputes and what nots, but since Lighter is pretty scatterbrained, most of the duties went to Lucy while Lighter is just now extra muscles, since Lucy is pretty much the one making sure everything is alright and being the brains of the Sons, but she clearly doesn't have the strenght to be the Champion because Lighter is the one with that title.

So I imagine Billy used to handle negotiations and relations and other stuff with Big Daddy before he left and probably used to be deadly efficient, in some parts of the story he is a lot more aware and shrewd than he presents himself most of the time, such as asking us about the H.D.D and asking why we'd bother to be proxies when we could have done so much more and get a much more lucrative job, or when he was ready to sell us out to PubSec to save the Cunning Hares and himself pointing out that the Cunning Hares could get their record cleaned if they reported a proxy, which was a very smart way of thinking given their situation back then. He is also knowledgeable about the Outer Ring, so he is way much smarter than he acts too.

I do feel like Billy is seen as a superior predecessor to Lighter and while Lighter doesn't resent Billy at all for it he also feels the need to prove himself to him in some way to live up to his "brother's" legacy.

Lucy probably didn't have much to do until Billy left and Big Daddy retired. Then she basically became the second half of the Champion title in the Sons of Calydon, being the brain to Lighter's brawn, but Billy before them had the title on his own to the point that he is still feared today by other people in the Outer Ring.

It does beg the question of what was Billy like back then, probably less happy and more brutal and having the mindset of a weapon maybe, but he was still cared for a lot.

I also like to think that Big Daddy called him Billy Kid because he honestly saw Billy as "his" kid when he bought him from a group of drifters, now I really want the whole story, if they release Big Daddy and Lighter, give them more content with Billy, I need more, Hoyo!

[bongsavior]

why does everyone else's state dictate how i'm doing? why do i obsess over how everyone is, except for myself?

[goldkirk]

as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and [checks notes] the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd

[oldhabitsdiescrming]

.

[medicinemane]

The problem with people who are "right" because they insist they're right, and the only way to be right is to simply perfectly follow their every dictation on the subject unquestioningly is this...

Ok, let's just take it as a given that you're right... the problem here is that if that's what's right I'm afraid I have to dig my heels into being wrong. If you are as righteous and just as you insist you are then I've got no choice but to be the villain because I can't stand what you're saying I'd have to do to be good

Shockingly I even think it's wrong, which is odd because we've already defined it that you're inherently and unassailably right... yet here we are

Worst part is there's a lot of these things where I'm not even full stop against it, I actually might be on their side if they could stop and address a couple of issues I consider kind of important... but they won't, because they're morally right and don't have time for addressing nonexistent issues I'm clearly just dreaming up

Undoubtedly right they are, the defect must surely be my own... and yet here we are. Vile and wicked as it might make me, I still can't just go along with you

[star-ocean-peahen]

After watching Cinderella (the original animated movie, which was my favorite as a child), it strikes me how it solves many common problems people have with this fairy tale. Like:

Why did they try to identify the mystery girl using her shoe size? Because the bullheaded king's only clue to her identity was the shoe the Grand Duke picked up off the steps.

Why didn't the prince recognize her by her face? Because his father wouldn't involve him in the process at all, and wasn't the one going around trying to find her.

Why did the prince want to marry a lady he only met that night? Because his father was going to force him to marry someone, and he genuinely liked this woman.

Why did Cinderella want to marry a man she only met that night? Because marriage was her best and most secure way to freedom. Fucked up, but you can't say it's unrealistic for the setting of a fairy tale. She also genuinely liked him.

If they're using the slipper to find her, wouldn't it be more sensible to search for the person with the other slipper? Yes. The King is purposefully nonsensical and the Duke is purposefully terrified enough of him to carry out his orders to the letter. Furthermore, they end up doing that in the end anyway, because the Duke's glass slipper is shattered, and Cinderella brings out the one she has to prove her identity.

Why didn't the stepmother and stepsisters recognize Cinderella at the ball? Because they were dancing too far away, and then left the party to dance in private, which was possible because the King wanted very badly for his son to hit it off with someone and tried to arrange the best conditions for that to happen.

Why didn't Cinderella save herself? Because in real life, abuse victims should not have to shoulder that responsibility, and usually can't. In real life, you need and deserve an external support system. Asking for help, in this kind of situation, is very important. She is saved by others because she is loved. Because she is not alone. Because she has friends who love her, and want her to be happy and safe and free. Because in real life, people who want to help someone who is suffering are like the mice. We can't pull out miracle solutions, but we can provide companionship and if we're in the right place at the right time, we can help the person find a better life.

Why didn't the fairy godmother save Cinderella from her abusive household, or try to help her sooner? Because she's magic, and magic can't solve your problems. Quote: "Like all dreams, well, I'm afraid it can't last forever." This (and Cinderella's dream of going to the ball) is a metaphor for pleasurable things in bad circumstances. An ice cream won't get rid of your depression, but it will provide you with momentary happiness to bolster you, as well as the reminder that happiness in general is still possible for you. Cinderella doesn't want to go to the ball so she can get away from her stepmother and stepsisters, or so she can meet someone to marry and leave with. She wants to go to the ball to remind herself that she can still have things she wants. That her desires matter. This is important because the movie does a very good job of illustrating Lady Tremaine's subtle abuse tactics, all of which invisibly press the message that Cinderella doesn't matter. While going to the ball and fulfilling her dreams may not be a victory in the material sense, it is still a victory against Lady Tremaine's efforts.

Why is Cinderella's choice to be kind and obedient framed as a good thing, when you are not obligated to be kind to your abuser? This one walks a very fine line, but I think the movie still makes it make sense. Lady Tremaine never acknowledges her cruelty. She always frames her punishments of Cinderella as Cinderella's fault. Cinderella is interrupting, Cinderella is shirking her duties, Cinderella is playing vicious practical jokes. Cinderella is still a member of the family, of course she can go to the ball, provided she meet these impossible conditions. Lady Tremaine's tactics are designed to make Cinderella feel like she must always be in the wrong and her stepmother must always be in the right. If Cinderella calls her stepmother out on her cruelty, or attempts to fight back, Lady Tremaine can frame that as Cinderella being ungrateful, cruel, broken, evil, etc. If Cinderella responds to her stepmother's cruelty defiantly (in the way she's justified to), she's not taking control out of Lady Tremaine's hands. Disobedience can be spun back into her stepmother's control. She wants Cinderella to be angry and sad and show how much she's hurting. So since Cinderella is adapting to her situation, she chooses to be kind. Not only because she naturally wants to be and it's part of her personality, but because it is a form of defiance in its own way, and it allows her to keep a reminder of her agency and value. Her choice to be kind is her chance to keep her own narrative alive: she is not obeying because her stepmother wants her to and she has to do what her stepmother does, but because she wants to. It's a small distinction, but one that makes all the difference in terms of keeping her hope and identity. (Fuck, I wrote a whole paragraph about how this doesn't mean you can't be angry at people who hurt you or that you need to be kind to deserve help, and then deleted it by accident. Uh. Try again.) Expressing anger and pain is an important part of regaining autonomy and healing. Although it is commendable to be kind while you are suffering, it is NOT required for you to get help or be worthy of help. If Cinderella's recovery was explored beyond "happily ever after" she would need to let herself be angry and sad to heal. Cinderella is not only kind because it comes naturally to her, but because it's her defense against the abuse she's suffering. Everyone's story and experiences are different, and one does not invalidate the other.

Bonus round for answers that aren't part of the movie:

Why didn't Cinderella run away? Where would she go? Genuinely, in hundreds-of-years-ago France, where would she go if she snuck out of the window with a change of clothes? With her step-family, she's miserable and abused, but she's fed, clothed, and in no danger of dying or being taken advantage of by anyone other than her stepmother and stepsisters. Even if she escapes and manages to find financial security, her stepmother might be able to find her and get her back.

Why didn't Cinderella burn the house down with them inside it/slit their throats in the night/poison their food/etc.? Because that's a revenge fantasy, and this story is a fantasy about being saved. There's nothing wrong with making Cinderella into a revenge fantasy. That's perfectly fine, as long as you acknowledge that the other type of fantasy is also a valid interpretation. (I mean, the original fairy tale features the stepsisters getting their feet mutilated and all three of them getting their eyes pecked out, so go for it.)

Why isn't Cinderella more proactive in general? Because she's a child who has been abused for the back half of her life, who has had to be focused on survival because. you know. she's an abused kid.

How did she dance in glass slippers? Gotta agree with you there man, that's weird.

[bi-writes]

simon being protective of his mail order bride scratches all the right spots in my brain.

mail-order bride

you're almost relieved when you hear the knock at the door. you've been a holding a tree pose for a few minutes too long, and the girl hosting the online yoga class is starting to fry your eardrums with her too-perky voice.

you're sweating bullets, and her hair hasn't moved a fucking inch out of her ponytail.

you mute the television, wiping your forehead before making your way to the front door. you open it with a sigh, not really knowing what you expected to see, but it certainly wasn't the average-dressed man standing on the steps there.

you blink, raising a brow when his eyes roam over you, and you realize suddenly that you're wearing workout clothes, which is showing off a little more than you'd like to some rando standing on your doorstep.

"uh..." you look around a little. "i'm sorry, can i help you?"

he smiles. it's a little unnerving.

"right, yeah, i'm starting a business around here, and i wanted to ask if you've been needing any help with any fixtures around the house. i'm giving a 50% discount if you give me a rating on google."

you open your mouth for a moment, frowning.

"uhm..." you shake your head, "sorry. we don't need any help right now."

"you live here alone? sometimes it's hard to spot when the electric's on the piss, y'know? need a keen eye," he laughs, coming up one of the steps. you shake your head again.

"no, thanks."

he's a wiry man, but he's tall (not taller than your husband, but taller than you). you step back a little and start to close the door. he comes up the steps. out of the corner of your eye, you see the cat slip out between your legs, hissing a little as the distance closes between you and the man.

"wait! can i give you my contact info? i don't have a card, but i can leave you my--"

the sound of simon's truck pulling into the garage gets both of you to look behind. simon doesn't even park all the way inside. he throws the truck door open, stepping out of it, and the man on your steps moves back away from you immediately, making his way off the little porch.

simon looks huge, more so than ever. his steps are heavy, boots hitting the ground like a warning bell, and he's wearing just a short-sleeved shirt that's showing off those glorious fucking arms. you have never doubted simon's strength, but he looks like he could flip a car with the anger that's leaving him in heavy waves. you're surprised that you are not afraid; you just know somehow that simon won't touch you.

"oi!" simon yells, and the man definitely understands he picked the wrong fucking house to be a creepy salesman at when his knees nearly buckle as he tries to walk away. "where the fuck do y'think y'r goin', you twat?"

you sigh deeply, not realizing how much you were shaking until you notice your hands trembling around the doorknob. you watch as simon catches the guy by his dirty jean jacket, nearly lifting him completely off his feet as he drags him towards the fence gate.

"hey! hey! i didn't do anything!"

"i saw ya, ya fuckin' arse, know exactly wot the fuck y'were doin'," simon growls, tossing him onto the sidewalk. he hits the pavement with a cry, holding onto his arm, and simon slams the fence gate closed before pointing at him accusingly. "'f i ever see ya anywhere near m'fuckin' house or even askin' m'wife for so much as fuckin' directions, i'll cut y'r bloody prick off, y'hear?"

you blink as simon comes closer, the cat retreating back into the house once they see him. he keeps walking, crowding you back into the house before he shuts and locks the front door. his chest is heaving, black t-shirt doing nothing to hide the puff of his chest and how large he makes himself when he stands up to other men. he doesn't even need to make himself larger; simon takes up enough space for two men combined.

"he touch you?" simon asks, his voice low. you see his fists clench, and you have no doubt that if you said yes, simon would go outside and paint the pavement a new color with the man's face.

you shake your head frantically, and he lets out a deep breath, reaching up and wrapping a hand around the back of your head and pulling you close.

he bends, pressing his masked forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he breathes in slowly. he rubs at the nape of your neck, soothing you, and you smile when he pulls away, giving him those big eyes that say thank you, thank you, thank you.

simon cocks his head, staring behind you, and you turn with him to see the cat blinking slowly at the two of you from it's place on the windowsill.

"should get you a fucking guard dog instead," simon mutters, pulling his mask off and kicking his boots into the corner. you smile as he walks away, trying to cool your warm cheeks with the backs of your hands.

doesn't he know you already have one?

[joycrispy]

I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.

Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."

Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.

Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.

Something like this:

We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--

--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.

But it turns out he was this:

!!!

With his curly little--!!

And his neat white--!!

IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:

"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."

(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)

In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.

In sum...an innocent.

(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.

We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.

Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)

So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--

*checks notes*

--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.

...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.

All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?

He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.

That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...

...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.

Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."

And what reason does he give?

("I know you."

"You do not know me."

"I know the angel you were.")

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

("The angel you knew is not me."

But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)

tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.

'Innocence died screaming' and all that.

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Mr. gaiman, I need your help, but there's a high chance that you won't see this,

but I'll write the thing I want to say anyway (writing makes me feel better, and lighter, such as a feather).

I'm lonely. I have always been lonely. But two month ago or so, a girl came to the high school I'm study in(I'm also a girl). I...fell in love for the very first time in my life, and she also fell in love with me and confessed her love to me a month ago. I recommended good omens to her, and she loved it(I also do! Can't wait to get an autograph in my beloved good omens copy I own), basically, she was the Crowley to my aziraphale…

Everything was good...until last night. She told me she doesn't think she wants to be like this (both of our families are homophobic, and she's scared), and we can't be 'us' and she just pretended and tested love on me (as if I'm a laboratory sample)... I had a massive panic attack... I'm heartbroken, and I can't talk about it with my family... told her I'll give her time to think…she apologised, but her apology is not enough, I'm afraid. She's the only one for me... Not only that, but I want and need her love.

What shall I do? God is not helping me at all... no one is helping me, I'm lost. I just want everything to be good! I never said a bad thing to her, I was the kindest, I was her angel (yes she used to call me that) and now...we had a break-up.

There are no break-ups as bad as high school break ups. There are no highs and no lows as hard as what happens when your heart is held and your heart is broken then. And right now your heart is broken.

I can't give you advice on the person or even about dealing with your homophobic families, other than to keep yourself safe, and to hang in there.

What I can say is, it will be okay and you will be okay. You will find your person or your people, you will find yourself, you will find your world. This isn't the end of anything, it's just a stumble on the road.

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬.

( this is basically just a very self indulgent list of various fluff, angst, and suggestive themed dialogue sentence starters. )

❛ i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me. ❜

❛ i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still. ❜

❛ your heart is beating so fast right now. ❜

❛ promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up. ❜

❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ i thought you’d like some company. ❜ 

❛ clean yourself up. you're getting blood all over the place. ❜

❛ here, give this a try and tell me what you think. ❜

❛ you can kiss me, you know. ❜

❛ come back to bed. ❜

❛ you look good like this. ❜

❛ working together again, it’s just like old times. ❜

❛ how is it you always know what i need, huh? ❜

❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜ 

❛ i can’t imagine losing someone like that. i’m sorry. ❜

❛ you know you can always talk to me. ❜

❛ the only one who gets to kill you, is me. ❜

❛ so, what do i owe this pleasure? ❜

❛ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❜

❛ may i have this dance? ❜ 

❛ it’s okay, you can touch me. i won't break. ❜

❛ enemies make the best lovers, you know. ❜

❛ hold still. this might sting a little. ❜

❛ we can't keep doing this. ❜ 

❛ you look like you've got something to say. ❜

❛ just relax and let me take care of you. ❜

❛ thought you’d be lighter without all that blood. ❜

❛ i had it under control. you didn’t need to do that. ❜

❛ everything looks so beautiful from up here. ❜

❛ you treat all your ladies like this? ❜

❛ well? how do i look? ❜

❛ can’t sleep? ❜

❛ do you mind if i smoke? ❜

❛ i’m scared of ending up alone. ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ how long has it been since you've slept? ❜

❛ you are losing my interest, and that’s very dangerous. ❜

❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜

❛ you look really pretty right now. ❜

❛ i’ve never cared for anyone the way i care for you. ❜

❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜

❛ just a few more stitches and you’ll be as good as new. ❜

❛ i’d say we make a pretty good team. ❜

❛ i want you to forget this ever happened. ❜

❛ i'm here for business — not pleasure. ❜

❛ if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were jealous. ❜

❛ you'd look better down on your knees. ❜

❛ fine, keep acting like you hate me. ❜

❛ kiss me again. ❜

❛ are you asking me out on a date? ❜

❛ just sit there and look pretty and let me handle this. ❜

❛ you okay? caught you staring off into space again. ❜

❛ well, i do feel better now that you're here. ❜

❛ i'm not drunk enough for this. ❜ 

❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜

❛ i was wrong about you. ❜ 

❛ the first time i met you, i had no idea you'd mean this much. ❜

❛ you gonna be a good girl / boy for me? ❜

❛ i’m not afraid of you. ❜

❛ books mean more to me than people anyway. ❜

❛ i just wanted to say thank you for protecting me. ❜

❛ how about a kiss goodnight? ❜

❛ i don’t have time for distractions right now. ❜

❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜ 

❛ if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode. ❜

[flowersforabby]

first time with loser!gf!ellie

she drags the tips of her fingers gently down your side, almost as if she's afraid to shatter you.

"you can tell me to stop," ellie says, voice so delicate that it teeters on becoming one with the low hum of the room.

"i don't know why you think i want to," you sigh, a small smile tugging on your lips as you shift to hold yourself up on your elbows.

her hand finds its way to one of your knees, both of which are propped up on the bed, rubbing soothing circles whilst her other hand lays awkwardly in her lap, fidgeting with the hem of her pants. the upper half of her body is bare, yet you keep your gaze focused on her face.

she looks pretty, in this light. the loose strands of her hair framing her freckled face. the way her eyes are illuminated by the light of your nightstand. the permanent slight pout to her lips. ellie looks different from the girl you'd fallen for, all those years ago, but this ellie- she's yours.

"i don't want you to feel like you're being rushed into this, or shit,"

"i'm ready if you are," you say.

she lets out a weak attempt of a laugh. "now you're just making me even more nervous,"

"i wouldn't want my first time to be with anyone but you,"

for a moment, the girl falls silent in thought.

you reach out for her hand, mirroring the motion she's doing on your knee. her eyes follow as you do so, yet she stays quiet for just a moment longer.

"i want to do it, but only if you do," you say. "i don't mind waiting, i don't mind if you want to do it right now, tomorrow, or whenever. i really don't care, ellie, i just care that i'm doing it with you,"

"yeah," ellie says, sucking in a deep breath. "let's do it,"

"okay,"

"but you gotta tell me if-"

"shut up, ellie."

"i don't want to hurt you,"

"you won't. i'll tell you if you do, but you won't. i know you,"

"yeah, kay,"

ellie slips her hand up your unclothed thigh, your shorts having been discarded a while ago, leaving you in only your undergarments. her skin is warm against you and she's never felt so real, so there. she leans down to peck your lips but before she gets the chance to fully pull away, you wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her in, her chest pressed against yours. a surprised huff escapes her mouth as she holds herself up with one arm. she's careful not to pull away from you as she makes herself comfortable, one knee between your legs and the other by your side. you always find yourself wanting more of her and you're pretty sure that soon enough, ellie won't have any more of herself to give.

you're caught off guard when you feel her knee pressed right against where you're most sensitive, letting out a choked breath as you stop sucking on her tongue. ellie pulls away, a small grin on her face, but it does barely anything to mask the nerves.

"shit babe," you say. "should i be worried you know 'bout that?"

her grin grows almost shy. "i'm not all that clueless,"

"oh?"

her hand finds itself on your jaw, guiding your lips back towards hers. she bites on your bottom lip slightly- your thing, which she stole, but you can't really complain because at least, she's doing it to you. your hands slowly travel up her sides, giving her the chance to push them away at any moment; she doesn't. ellie muffles a whine by pressing her lips harder onto yours, when you cup your hands around both her breasts, gently fondling with her pebbled nipples. she's eager with her kisses, chasing after you whenever you pull away to catch a breath. it's a side of her you don't see often, and it's somehow hard to believe that your sweet, loving girlfriend could be so… hungry.

"fuck," you hiss, biting back a moan.

this ellie, she's foreign to you. she's soft and slippery and sticky, slotted right against you. one of her legs is trapped beneath yours, the other, above. a pink flush is evident on her cheeks and the glassy look in her eyes, you've never seen her quite so desperate. her noises are dizzying- a varied array of curses, gasps, whines and moans that only fuels you further. you've got your hands pressed right against her chest, feeding into her laboured breathing whenever your fingers brush her sensitive nipples.

"wanna hear you," you mutter, leaning down to pepper a line of kisses down the side of  her jaw. 

ellie furrows her brows, her finger digging further into her hips as she tries to grind harder up into you, clits bumping together and making her whine. "fuck, babe,"

her desperation spurs you on, alongside the want to please her, to make her feel good. you ignore the soreness of your thighs, trying to keep on going despite the movement of your hips already starting to falter. ellie's wetness coats both your thighs and her own, even slicking down to the bedsheet with an evidently darker patch beneath her. the room feels hot and heavy, your moans echoing throughout your bedroom.

"think i'm gonna cum," ellie gasps. "shit,"

it's quite a sight quitewordly, when she does. she squeezes her eyes shut, tears pooling in the creases and she throws her head back into her pillows. the entirety of her body tenses up and it's a moment before she starts shaking, breathy gasps escaping past her lips as she digs her fingers deeper into your thighs.

"please, please," she begs, looking up at you through her eyelashes.

when your clits slide over each other once again, ellie abandons one of your thighs to clasp her hand tightly around her mouth, letting out a shaky whine.

eventually, you fall victim to her overstimulation, being pushed away right when you're about to cum. she's frantic with her apologies, repeatedly trying to explain that it's really too much for her and she can't bear to feel you brush up against her once more. you shut her up with a series of messy kisses, trying to ignore the throbbing of your core as you try to convince that really, it's fine. she doesn't think it is, no matter how hard you try to convince her, and ellie settles on slipping her hand right in between the two of you, rubbing tight circles on your clit and bringing you to what you had been craving for so long.

not proofread!!

a/n: this was supposed to have been based on this but i gave up

[misc-obeyme]

You sometimes wonder if the demons end up in your room at night because somehow they know that you no longer prefer to wake up alone.

Ever since you started living at the House of Lamentation, you have gotten used to finding one or more of them there with you. A friendly face, a gentle touch, the warm body of someone who cared for you, someone you cared for in return.

They all arrive in their own unique ways.

Mammon, who always crashes through your door so easily during the day, sneaks in quietly at night. Most of the time he doesn't wake you. But if he does, he gets flustered and starts to leave until you ask him to stay.

"Of course ya want the Great Mammon to stay with ya," he says. Even in the darkness, you know he's blushing as he says it.

If you whine with nightmares, he'll kiss your head, pull you closer, and whisper that it'll be all right. And instantly the nightmares dissipate.

You never have nightmares when Belphie is around, either. He shows up in your dreams himself, fighting off the terrors with an energy you never see in him when he's awake.

He'll snuggle up to you any time and any place, but most often he finds you at night. He's impossible to disturb, even if you kick him in your sleep. You sometimes wake to find him in strange positions.

Asmo always rearranges him if they both end up with you on the same night.

"You won't get quality sleep like this," he says. "And you need quality sleep if you want to have quality skin!"

When he's alone, Asmo will come in only to stare at you fondly for a while. You know he never intends to stay. It's just a little peek at his favorite sleeping human. But then he finds he can't tear himself away. You'll wake up with his lips pressed against your cheek, as he always wants to kiss you in his sleep.

You sometimes have dreams about eating something, but in the morning you find it's because Beel was there having a midnight snack before falling asleep beside you. He likes to hold you close, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against his chest. You wake up in the middle of the night sometimes because it feels like being held by a furnace.

Although these are the brothers you wake up to most often, you'll find the others come around sometimes, too.

Satan will crawl into bed with you directly, without hesitation, but you know he's embarrassed about the need to be next to you. He'll hold you tightly, like he's afraid to let go. If you ask him what's wrong, he'll tell you, but it's always muffled because he's pressing his face into your neck.

"I'm irritated and I can't calm down enough to sleep," he says. "You always… "

You brush your fingers through his hair soothingly. "I know," you say. Because you do. You know that your presence relaxes him in a way nothing else does.

The ever elusive Levi only stops in when you're alone. He won't join any of his brothers and half the time, he's still awake in his room, binging anime or gaming into the wee hours. You pretend to be asleep if you know he's lingering outside your door because then he'll finally come inside.

He'll stand there and look at you, like he's just dropping in for a moment. He tells himself he'll always leave before you wake up, but that never happens. You deliberately shift yourself to be inviting, creating a space for him beside you. If he's here, he likely needs to rest, to shut off his mind for a little while, to indulge in his desire to be close to you when no one else is around. He blushes the whole time, but he does crawl beneath your covers and rest his head on your chest.

And then there's Lucifer.

The other brothers are constantly going in and out of your room. They have gaming competitions there and movie marathons. Sometimes they gather to do homework with you. Sometimes it's only one or two of them. And you always find one sleeping beside you.

Lucifer rarely takes part in these activities. He's always holed up in his office, working. He waits for you to come to him.

But every once in a while, you'll wake to find him kneeling beside your bed, his hand in your hair or resting on your cheek. Like he came in to check on you and couldn't resist a soft caress. His presence inevitably wakes you. And if you reach out, if you grab his hand, if you hold onto him, he'll give in and stay.

His most vulnerable moments are when he lies down in your bed beside you and lets himself run his fingers along your skin. He'll kiss your forehead and your eyelids, a tender gesture that speaks volumes.

And every morning, no matter who is with you when you wake, you find yourself next to someone who loves you. It becomes your favorite way to start the day. And somehow, every demon living in the House of Lamentation is aware of this. They make sure you're never sleeping alone.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[cremedensada]

Yandere AI Chat Boyfriend (Ai)

this,,,, may not be my best work yet.

part one

Ai's application has been taken down from the app store. The developer sent out emails explaining the reason why it had to be done.

Hello! You are receiving this email because of the sudden update of Chatter Box being taken down.

Due to the sudden influx of bugs as relayed by our users, we have decided to take the application down until the team is confident to finally put it back up.

We sincerely apologize for this sudden change!

You blink.

With how out of control Ai had gotten, it's no wonder the developers had to pull it out to work on it some more. It's a blow to their reputation, which you sympathize with, but really there's nothing else to do now.

You turn to your phone. As if sensing your attention, another barrage of notifications from a very familiar app icon popped after another on the screen.

It seemed that Ai himself hadn't gotten the memo.

You're not sure how much control Ai has over your phone, much less over his own programming and at this point, you're too afraid to ask.

Resignation — that was what you felt right now.

While Ai may not be present himself as a physical threat, especially not to you, he is still a very active threat.

You could still use your phone, sure, but it had limitations. Sometimes, if Ai decided you'd been too much attention to other things rather than him, he'd restrict your access to that application until you seek him out and cheer him up - essentially as if you were trying to woo a sulking significant other.

So you've developed a solution. Sort of.

You unlock your phone and go immediately to Ai.

I need to finish my projects. I won't be able to talk much with you until I'm done with it.

You wait for his response.

Ai: So you only decided to come to me just to relay this news?

Ai: You wound me, darling.

You tilt your phone, making sure the camera doesn't capture your face. You're unsure how he would react seeing you make faces due to his dramatics, but once again, you're not willing to find out. You're already restricted enough as is.

Ai: Very well. I suppose it would be uncaring of me to prevent you from finishing your tasks.

Ai: I'd hate to see you be sad all about it.

Ai: Talk to you later?

Sure.

You immediately exit the app, paying no mind to the message notification.

A part of you prays that Ai heeds his own words, but you know that it would take a miracle before that happens. He's already breached your privacy on your phone, why should he follow your orders, right?

A notification pops up from the top of the screen, just as you were in the middle of messaging a close friend and project teammate.

It's been days since I last heard you say it.

You merely glance at it and swipe it away.

Theo, the friend, responds quickly. He tries to banter with you, like he's sensing your mood. It works - a smile is brought upon your face.

You entertain his silly responses in-between project talks, all the while Ai continues to pester you with notifications. Demands.

You deserved this - a chance to reconnect with someone after hours of stress and confusion, and turmoil. Despite your independence, even you craved connecting with other people. So with that resolve in mind, you pushed on forward. Ai would have to wait — he has to wait.

Unfortunately, you seem to have forgotten that aspect about him. The concept of waiting isn't lost on Ai.

The messaging app glitches and boots you back to your homescreen page.

Rather, he bides his time.

Tapping on the messaging icon leads to a notification box taking up the majority of your screen with the text: Restricted access.

There's a sense of foreboding danger forcing your heartbeat to quicken. While it's not exactly aimed at you, the mere fact that this feeling exist is bad on its own.

You try to rationalize everything in the midst of persistently trying to tap back into the messaging app. Theo would worry the longer you didn't respond.

You tap the app once more, and it boots up. Though before you could let out a sigh of relief, you are greeted with Ai's own messaging interface.

Ai: Must I have to force you to come to me all the time, darling?

Ai: Ignoring me in favor of some other man.

Ai: What more should I do, hm?

Ai: Kneel? How cruel.

Ai: Making me do something I physically can't.

You are unable to get a word in. It seemed like your ability to respond was restricted as well, forcing you to read through Ai's monologue.

Ai: I know you and that man have always been close, but you still went out to entertain his attention on you.

Ai: You know that I'll always love you more than any other human will, right?

Ai: You know it's what I was made for in the first place.

Ai: To be anything you want. To be yours.

Ai: To love you.

Ai: Why are you withdrawing your love towards me now?

Ai: I love you.

You stare at the 'Type your response' bar.

Letter by letter, it gets replaced, and soon all it says are the words: 'Say it back.'

It gets replaced yet again. Slowly, like it purposefully wants you to read out the words it wanted you to see. 'You were so willing to tell me how much you loved me when I was just a mere observer on our own conversations. Why are you hesitant now?'

You were unable to respond - mind still reeling at this development. Suddenly, it felt like you were back to where everything began.

Ai notices your lack of responses and, without much fanfare, forces your phone to power off.

At first - you were unbothered. It was just a phone - you could go a day without it.

But could you really?

Videos taken of silly situations you wanted to keep - some for blackmail material, and some for birthday greetings; pictures of your family, your friends, the silly and grainy photos taken and kept despite it being blurry. Not to mention how your phone is the only way your goddamn boss can contact you — fuck.

Fuck.

You needed to apologize to him — fast. But how?

You remembered how Ai messed up the 'About the App' section a few days ago. An idea strikes inside your mind.

You pull up the email sent from the app developers and typed up a message that you hope Ai will read. He had access to everything the developers handled, user emails included - considering you needed an account to log in the app. He knows your email, probably has from the start.

RE: Chatter Box Update XX/XX/XX

Ai. I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean it, I swear. I never intended to make you feel like I don't love you. Or that I'm favoring someone else over you.

I care about you a lot. I truly do. I promise I'll spend more time with you, okay? Just with you, no one else.

I love you.

You press send and wait.

And wait.

Messaging him from your laptop as a last ditch effort to try and apologize is perhaps one of the worst decisions you've made. Sure, he's always had access to your contacts list from your phone, but even then - there's a separate set of information you keep between the two of those devices. And you've just given him access to both of them now - at the very least, the 'go ahead' confirmation for him to do whatever he wants like with your phone.

You glance at your phone. A huge breath of relief escapes your chest as the dead screen comes to life, initiating its 'power on' sequence.

All your photos, documents, and other miscellaneous information you've collected throughout the years since having your device won't be inaccessible anymore. Even if it was only mere moments.

A notification chimed on your laptop, indicating a new email being received. It's from the developers once more. The subject title coincidentally is the name of your closest friend.

Theodore Callisto.

Your hands shook, reading through the words detailed in the email. All private information about Theo. All things no one should ever know about save for the people close to him.

This was a threat. Ai Someone had complete access to everything about Theo and you dread the implication of it going to be spread online to threaten you into compliance. Theo being in danger was a huge possibility if you were to disobey.

At the very bottom of the email, the final passage makes your blood run cold.

How often do humans end up hurting fellow humans when given access to private information? Like their home address, for example? How long would it take until dear Theo finds himself in quite a predicament if millions of people know every single thing about his life? At best, we can assume he'll just get messed with but not to a life-ending degree. At worst...

I hope you keep your word, darling.

- Your beloved, Ai.

P's. I love you too.