#i'm a very lucky person to know the people i do
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deusvervewrites · 2 days ago
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I would say it is weird that people think Midoriya is childishly naive when his very first phrase of the story is "not all men are created equal", when the first chapter has Midoriya going about how he was deluding himself, when he talks again and again how lucky and blessed he is, but we have already concluded Horikoshi needs some sledgehammers.
But yeah, people seem to look down in a way at empathy, when having empathy despite everything Midoriya has gone through shows his strength. He could have easily just have given up, but that isn't who Midoriya is.
I've touched on it before, and others have gone into far more detail about it, both in other media and in general, but there's a deceptively cruel undercurrent throughout an alarmingly vast percentage of media. A single, insidious idea that has been reused and recycled and repeated.
THE VILLAIN MUST DIE
Think about that for a moment. Really, think about it. Why does the villain have to die? Think about all the works out there about the cycle of revenge. Think about all the works out there about how you should be kind to one another. Hell, just pick a Disney film. No matter how Heroic the hero. No matter how central mercy is to the theme. And yet.
THE VILLAIN MUST DIE
Sometimes they dress it up fancy. A Villain rejects the offered hand only to accidentally kill themselves, as in Tarzan or countless others. Or their own scheme ends up killing them without the Hero doing it. Sometimes it is the hero, by some accident.
And it makes sense, right? The villains do horrible, awful things, and many of them show no signs of remorse or even stopping. Taking them out is for the best, right?
THE VILLAIN MUST DIE
Why.
How can they not choke on the hypocrisy. How can they stand there and tell us that love and compassion and understanding will lead Darth Vader from the Dark Side but the Emperor needs a one-way trip down the reactor chute?
THE VILLAIN MUST DIE
It's much cleaner, as a narrative. When the noble hero slays the evil king, there's never any depiction of the inevitable succession crisis that would ensue. Imagine having to... reform? From the worst possible version of yourself, a character in blood stepped in so far that, should they wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er? Having to try and do better? Even if they could never atone? Even if it could never be made right? But yet. But yet. You still have to live and do better?
THE VILLAIN MUST DIE
Why?
I know. Help us all do I know that there are people out there that will not change. Are staunchly against changing. Would die before they ever had a second thought about their actions. But. But. They are still, first and foremost, people.
And yet.
THE VILLAIN MUST DIE
WHY?
This world has no end of fools who mistake weakness for strength and boast their foolishness from the rooftops. People who think that kindness is a weakness and compassion a curse.
I can't help but wonder what this world could be if we all held each other with a bit more empathy.
Since recorded history began, people have sold their hearts for power. This weakness should not be celebrated. Power means nothing.
Midoriya's empathy is his greatest strength. It's the thing that makes him a Hero.
And I'm glad that there's been a trend lately in Shonen Jump towards empathic protagonists. The Promised Neverland. Demon Slayer. Dr. Stone. My Hero Academia. All of these works can't help but wonder what this world could be.
How are we meant to make the world better if we can't imagine a better world? How are we meant to dedicate our lives, knowing that perhaps that kind world is far away from here, that we may have to miss it because it's far beyond our years, if we think it's impossible?
WHY DOES THE VILLAIN HAVE TO DIE?
WHY IS IT EASIER TO SEE THE ENEMY THAN A PERSON?
WHO ARE YOU LETTING CONVINCE YOU THAT DEATH CAN BE DESERVED?
People act this way about Midoriya because that's how we are trained to experience media. He is, by the nature of his kindness, a subversion of expectations. The idea of treating the enemy like a person, understanding why they act the way they do, why they want to hurt, that's... difficult. It can be hard to remember in the face of human cruelty and depravity. But you must. If you can't understand then you can't prevent it. Yes, there are people who must be stopped. Yes, characters in fiction reflect this fact.
Even so.
To say that the villain must die, that is a justification of violence that has been used by real humans to cause real harm.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
As I said above, media has shifted recently. It's small, and I doubt it will be mainstream anytime soon, but the shift is there. Not just in shonen, but other places as well.
"We have a saying, my people. Don’t kill if you can wound, don’t wound if you can subdue, don’t subdue if you can pacify, and don’t raise your hand at all until you’ve first extended it."
-Wonder Woman, Gail Simone
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skyfallscotland · 22 hours ago
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Things I loved about Onyx Storm, in no particular order 🖤⚡️
This is an addendum to my overall review post—there’s also one about the things that I didn’t like here.
I do love ride or die riorgail, even if their characters didn't feel quite right to me (dare I say fanon-esque?). In any case, threatening people for the one they love? 10/10, would eat it up every time.
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The dragons being every rider's first love? It won't be a surprise to you if you've read BRV but I adore this take so much.
She was the first to choose me, to elevate me above all others, the first to see every ugly side of me and accept it all, and every single person in this fucking canyon will die before they remove a single one of her scales.
Ok then!
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And Violet?
“You see, that’s my little one.”
I'm crying!!
Tairn and Andarna? Like that's her father!!!
“Do not go any deeper than your claws!” Tairn lectures, his tail nearly taking out a tree when he pivots to watch her go. “I swear, if you get in over your head, I’ll let you drown.”
Their every interaction made me:
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Except for this one, which had me tearing up!
Tairn cranes his neck forward and growls. “You will not raise your voice to her.” Andarna turns her head and narrows her eyes at Tairn. “Do not ruin this for me.” Hurt stabs through the bond and Tairn recoils, his head drawing back to cover Ridoc and me.
Then there's Sgaeyl—mother!!!
“You are an inconvenience for which there is no adequate measurement.”
She wasn't talking to Xaden all book (v upsetti spaghetti) but she still would defend him with her life because she's mum!!
“Tell her the truth. He loathes her,” Tairn suggests. “As does Sgaeyl. The life-giver is lucky she wasn’t scorched this morning, though I do believe Sgaeyl is still contemplating her options.”
Speaking of mothers, I both hated and loved the Hedotis chapters. I really enjoyed them, I thought they were fun, Violet channeled the twin she doesn't know she has (lol iykyk) which was in my opinion out of character for her (threatening someone's kids???) but despite the lack of character growth to get there, I still really enjoyed this sequence for all its emotional aspects.
“How does she”—he points to the door—“ deserve my ten minutes when she fed me chocolate cake on my tenth birthday and vanished later that night? I am the fulfillment of a contract for her. Nothing more. I don’t give a shit how she looks at me, or whatever bullshit she undoubtedly spewed at you. The only reason we’re in her house is because she’s married to one of the triumvirate, and I have no problem using that to get what we need.”
I don't know how chocolate cake is still his favourite food because that would ruin me. (It just did).
Violet's protectiveness in this sequence was everything though! 😭 Fuck you, Talia!
“What I need is for Xaden to be all right. If that means setting this house on fire and leaving without accomplishing anything else on this isle, then I’ll hand him a torch.”
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Onto other characters, Ridoc is still hilarious and honestly his humour and one-liners saved my reading experience from being downright terrible, same with Cam—sorry CamLAEN! (lol)
Once again, I really thought she might kill Ridoc for a second there (this is very much a flipped Iron Flame re-write in some aspects lmao) but thankfully for everyone involved, she didn't.
"Violet was out of control. She kicked a queen’s ass and poisoned Xaden’s mom and all three Hedotic heads of state, but secured us an army.”
“Oh, and just so we’re clear, that strike up there wasn’t”—he gestures between us—“ you know. Us.” He flinches. “I mean, it was us because I pissed her off, but it wasn’t us… us, if you know what I’m saying.”
Confirmation everyone knows about the lightning storms.
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The representation—as someone living through Australian summer, I really appreciated that POTS was represented more thoroughly in the hot climate of the Isles, though it was still never actually touched on (I think there could have been a line in there explaining why it was relevant/what was happening in her body and that she wasn't just tired) but still, happy to see it there and (don't take this the wrong way but) maybe to see Violet struggle more, just a little.
Then there's Dain.
Dain! My boy, my baby. He was 110% done with everyone and I'm so here for it. He was going through it!
“Was that a compliment? What the fuck is going on?” Dain asks, his gaze flying to mine. “Did you give him something?”
Dain puts both hands up, palms outward at his chest. “How in all that’s holy am I to blame for this?”
“Love wasting my time,” Dain mutters, then shoves the small booklet I recognize as the language compendium for Unnbriel into the chest pocket of his flight jacket.
Aaric sighs from beside Xaden, then proceeds to speak like he was freaking born here. Dain looks ready to murder him.
I also got my wish for him and Sloane, which was unexpected but appreciated! (I created tags for not one but TWO of the ships in this book and I am so stoked about it!). It also makes Rebecca's TS song choice of The Prophecy for him make a lot more sense.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Xaden calls up at Dain as he dismounts, but my focus firmly locks over Brennan’s shoulder. “Following her ass,” Dain replies.
“I don’t coddle first-years anymore, so train. Your. Signet.” “Asshole,” she whispers, and the flush in her cheeks deepens.
I love them, your honour. I would read whole books about them.
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Speaking of—
“What the fuck are we going to do with that thing for the rest of the trip?” “Her name is Broccoli, not that,” he mutters.
These two (three?) are iconic and I want more of them. I want Mira recovering from her injuries and Drake coming to check on her and dumping a kitten on her chest, and Mira pretending she doesn't like Broccoli but secretly finding her comforting and letting her stay (and him, too, because it's love).
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Professor Riorson. God this was ridiculous and I hated it, but it made me laugh.
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The normally sweet drink tastes bitter in my throat.
Absolutely fan service but I'm positive it made us all groan aloud at the same time, which was amusing.
“Agreed,” Ridoc says. “And it’s always the same fight.” He lifts his hand to his chest. “I’ll trust you if you stop keeping secrets!” He drops the hand and scowls. “It’s my secretive nature that attracted you, and why can’t you just stay out of harm’s way for five fucking minutes?”
“You could hyphenate,” Garrick suggests. “Or combine? Riorgail? Sorrenson?”
Also, fan service, which, did I like it? No, but I laughed at (because otherwise I'd cry so).
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And then there were lines like this, that made me absolutely tear up and hit me in the feels:
But something is broken between here”—he taps the side of his head—“ and here”—he repeats the motion above his heart. “And I can’t control it.
He cups the back of my neck and pulls me within inches of his face—close enough to kiss. “I could reach the rank of Maven, lead armies of dark wielders against everyone we care for, and watch every vein in my body turn red as I channel all the power in the Continent, and I would still love you. What I did doesn’t change that. I’m not sure anything can.”
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So yeah, even if my overall experience was messy and chaotic, and perhaps not the best it could be, I did still love parts of it and find some of it enjoyable. I'm trying to change my mindset for a re-read, but I think it's best if I have some space before I try again.
In the meantime, what was your favourite thing? 🖤
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kissesforscars · 2 days ago
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toji as a friend (for now), male!user
to be honest i don't know what to feel about this, i just really enjoy imagining toji as a friend, like a normal young person without being have to deal with any zenin bullshit. i enjoy the idea of him being normal young guy. i may write a second part of it so i'm sorry if this is short. I'M ALSO SORRY FOR THE YAPPING. please enjoy <3
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“You know what? I fucking hate being friends with you,” Toji said with a tone that wasn't very sweet as you walked through the yard of the collage. The sounds of your footsteps were fading against the sounds of other students made. A scoff left your mouth as a reaction to his words and you felt a strong urge to slap him at the back of his useless head. “Yeah, me too,” you said back, like a dog showing their teeth to scare the threat. “I'm a very good option for you,” he said as he adjusted the strap of his bag, his nose was freezing because of the cold weather and Toji would rather be in his small apartment, eating a large pizza and watching stupid youtube videos that told the most unnecessary things about the history. But hey, he needed to study so he could find a better job. And when that happened, Toji would have enough money to be lazy as he pleased.
“Oh yeah?” You said and your mocking tone caused him to flash a stare at you with his furrowed eyebrows. “You're too damn big, you look at everyone like you want to murder them with an axe, you're not kind, you have a dirty mouth and you're cursing way too much, you don't know how to talk like a decent human being. Do you want me to continue my list? Or were these enough to hurt your ego that is bigger than Everest?” Your eyes met his green ones, you could observe the increasing frustration in them. He could snap your neck in two, he really could. But Toji chose not to. At least you get to be alive for one more day. “Put those words on a paper, Y/N,” Toji started speaking and you knew that his words wouldn't end nicely. “So I can fold that paper and stick it up to your ass.”
You wanted to laugh but a part of you felt nervous since how serious his threat seemed. You had never seen Toji sticking things to other people's ass but everything had a first when it's about Toji. “And do you think that you're any better? You're a stupid little nerd that can't have normal friends. If I wasn't here, you'd be a quiet kid in college and everyone would talk shit about you. You're damn lucky that I'm too honest, buddy,” Toji sniffed before turning his head forward, his nose was starting to turn red as if he was allergic to the cold and the cells on his skin were trying to warn him about that. “I'm not a nerd,” you said with a defensive tone. Come on, you weren't a nerd. You weren't even that smart. Toji would think everyone was a nerd compared to him because he was too damn stupid about lectures. Actually you didn't know if he was even smart about something, about anything.
Your eyes found his profile again as you continued your little walk that would end up in your own classes. Toji's green irises were staring ahead as if they were small emerald pieces ready to turn into bullets. And it seemed like he was still freezing. Toji hated winter even if his name was related to winter. The cold was nice until he started his fingers were getting numb and his nose was becoming wet like a dog's nose. The thoughts swirled inside your head and one of them was louder than the others. You realized if you really knew Toji. Yeah, you've been friends since highschool but was this all he had? Then you mentally slapped yourself for wondering about the other sides he had, like besides being your friend. What would he look like as a boyfriend, as a spouse or maybe as a father? Would he actually show some care and affection or would he stay the same?
“What did you bring for the lunch break?” Toji's question cleared away the clouds of thoughts inside your head and you almost wanted to thank him. But instead of doing that, you thought about his question. “I made a sandwich this morning and had some fruit with it,” you said after you remembered the bag you prepared for the lunch break. Both of you didn't enjoy eating in the cafeteria since the place was full of people and it was too loud to have fun with what you ate. Toji let out a grunt as if he said something as he inhaled and he gave a nod without looking at you. “Good, I'm planning to steal your fruits to put them in between the peanut butter breads I prepared,” Toji said and his hand reached to pat your shoulder when he finally turned his attention to you. “You may be a nerd but you bring good food.”
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toxicanonymity · 2 days ago
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get to know people
ty for the tags @milla-frenchy, @sunshineispunk, @iamasaddie, @tateypots 💛. I'm tagging you 🫵 and no pressure tagging 10 of you: @dark-scape @quaritchscupquake @whateverloomis @megangovier @xdaddysprincessxx @covetyou @romanarose @aurorawritestoescape @bitchesuntitled @noxturnalnymph sorry if you already did it.
I feel kinda vulnerable (and yet boring at the same time) talking about myself, but one of my goals is to let people know me as more of a person. 🩷
what's the origin of your blog title?: I have a taste for toxic characters, and i was hastily picking a url that would give me more anonymity. this old buzzword floated into my head from 15 yrs ago--I get a kick out of buzzwords that fizzle out so fast they become associated with a very specific point in time. I got the URL on an impulse and figured I could change it once I thought of the perfect url.... Meanwhile I've had plenty of asks and stalkers who themselves embody the old buzzword's meaning: the way a veil of anonymity emboldens hate and toxicity. I just wanted my veil to write porn, man.
favorite fandoms: impossible to say. too many factors.
OTP(s) + shipname: Michael Myers & Corey Cunningham (cunningmyers). it's a deep and fucked up bond, very dark and sexually charged. (Cue father figure 🎶) In my HCs I don't imagine anything soft, affectionate, or monogamous. it's pining and worship from Corey, dominance and dark energy from Michael and his monster cock. And when they kill together, god I love that.
favorite color: depends. My electronics & cases are blue, and I like to wear soft blues. also brown and olive green to wear. Black & salmon/peach: god tier combo.
favorite game: scrabble, trivia, jigsaw puzzles, nyt spelling bee, W.E.L.D.E.R., crosswords, guessing games. I've been trying to learn how to play poker which is great entertainment for @dark-scape.
song stuck in your head: none but I make up songs for my cat and I was singing one earlier about how sweet and nice she is. update: take me to church by hozier
weirdest habit/trait?: idk, really.
hobbies: lounging, research and learning, going to movies, watching miniseries, walking, writing but mostly in my head, taking elaborate baths, reading. getting organized this yr, minimalizing, donating things I don't need. would like to get back into candle-making and painting or clay sculpting.
if you work, what's your profession? Pass. I do work, though.
if you could have any job you wish what would it be? It would be cool to make a living off writing. But, ideally get rich with minimal effort and then financially support an animal sanctuary so I could go chill with the animals whenever I want. also, publicize & investigate missing persons cases that don't get enough attention.
something you're good at: finding four leaf clovers. Cobbling together cosplay from thrift store finds. having ideas. character development & world building.
something you're bad at: socializing, but I want to do better. I'm shy to begin with and some of my experiences here haven't helped. But I promise I don't bite. I'm also bad at staying focused, keeping an uncluttered mind, second-guessing my story plans and not ending them.
something you love: having a pet. I feel so lucky to have a (not so) little furball who enjoys my company and has a personality and lets me take care of her.
something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: not usually super talkative. hmm. predictions about the year ahead - love to hear peoples' thoughts on this (sports, pop culture, archaeology, food & makeup trends, etc.). unsolved mysteries.
something you hate: I don't wanna get anyone worked up with a rant so I'm just gonna say canned spinach. Haven't had it since childhood but I can still taste it
something you collect: I'm not sure I collect anything. I keep a lot of greeting cards received with photos.
something you forget: what I came in the room for, why I opened the app, just about anything.
what's your love language?: little gestures (gifts/acts of service), praise
favorite movie/show: here's my letterboxd
favorite food: fresh pasta w/ olive oil and fresh parmesan
favorite animal: too many to list
what were you like as a child? pensive, curious, loved the circus and Halloween. my mom likes to tell the story of when I was 18 months old and an old friend of hers came to meet me and I explained what a parallelagram was and it freaked her out.
favorite subject(s) at school? English and Spanish
least favorite subject? anything that was straight memorization. But I wish I tried harder.
what's your best character trait? I care about people
what's your worst character trait? easily distracted and forgetful, can be slow to respond, recovering perfectionist
if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? That I had to do any work at all
if you could travel in time who would you like to meet? a big, hot guy who captures me but won't kill me if I escape to come back to this timeline.
recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):
hounds of hell by @aurorawritestoescape and @milla-frenchy 🐨🙏
some more favorites
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witchiewitchie · 2 days ago
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I would like to address an elephant in the room.
I've kind of reached my tipping point with the amount of slurs that people seem to feel completely comfortable using derogatorily in this fandom, so long as it's in the name of 'in-character' roleplaying.
I don't feel like calling anyone specific out, but these people will know who they are, and what's more, I'm sure that most people who are familiar with the plethora of It fandom tags that I've also used are unfortunately very familiar with these accounts.
Let me be clear: while personally, I do not have a strongly negative opinion of reclaiming slurs, there is a big difference between 'reclaiming', which overwhelmingly is seen as a process of taking back words and redefining them, and just straight up using a slur the exact same way a homophobic (or anything else) person would use them.
It is not okay to use the F slur, for example, as a derogatory term. This is a hard line that we must not cross, because no matter what, it is a term that has been used in the past and will continue to be used in the future as a way of discriminating against or otherwise insulting people.
Even if you want to defend yourself by saying that it is simply in-character roleplay, I would encourage you to take a step back and try to figure out why exactly perpetuating homophobia (which is what you're doing, for the record, if you use a slur derogatorily, no matter the context) is something that you must do, particularly in a public space, without any trigger warnings.
At the very least, trigger warnings are a must, particularly if you insist on using harmful words in public. I understand that in the current year most people are somewhat removed from such a thing as homophobic or otherwise LGBTphobic bullying and/or harassment -- which is a wonderful concept, to be sure! However, that does not mean that all of us are so lucky. Many people have trauma resulting from such kinds of bullying and/or harassment and would appreciate at least a tag that they can avoid, rather than having to walk on eggshells because of a lack of consideration by others.
I think this also holds true for any other slurs you might see people using, but I'm picking my battles where they need to be picked.
As a side note, I think that whether you as an individual feel comfortable reclaiming slurs or being around people who do so is entirely up to yourself, and no one can tell you what to feel or how to act about something that is so intensely personal.
Personally, I have participated in reclaiming slurs that have been used as insults for myself in the past, and to some extent do this even now, although much less often. However, I specifically do not use these slurs in public -- whether in real life or online -- because there is no guarantee that people who overhear or read your public message are not going to take it as A) you genuinely saying the slur as an insult or B) a go-ahead to use the slur as an insult.
I will again state though that it is ultimately your choice to reclaim or to not reclaim slurs, although I will reiterate that I believe that it is actively harmful to use these slurs derogatorily, and I do not think that it is a personal choice but instead a moral failing to use slurs derogatorily or to insult other people.
Sincerely, someone who was beaten up many, many times in school for being any number of slurs that people have now decided it is okay to use derogatorily even as part of those marginalised groups.
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dammit-tazmuir · 3 days ago
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I just genuinely do not remotely understand where you're getting this notion that "there's nothing sympathetic about Ianthe" or that "we're not supposed to care about her." Like where is your textual evidence? Because I have literally not seen one single person in this fandom yet who doesn't adore her, and I have a very hard time believing that's by accident.
I've seen people shit on Corona, and even rip her apart to emphasize Ianthe's tragedy without acknowledging how mutually toxic they are. I've seen people fail to acknowledge the nuance and sympathetic circumstances around all of John's stuff. I've seen almost nothing but making Silas the butt of jokes, and only very rarely any appreciation. I've seen people have problems with Palamedes of all people. I've seen criticism for Paul's existence.
I have at not one point yet encountered a person who doesn't adore Ianthe and want good things for her. I have never seen a single person be like "fuck that toxic bitch, I hope she gets what's coming to her" the way they do characters like John. Like maybe I've just been lucky so far, but I'm sorry, it REALLY, REALLY does sound like you personally sympathize with her LESS than most people do and are projecting that onto other people? Or taking "she's awful" extremely literally. Have you never seen or written a character that makes you go "oh they're the absolute worst, I adore them"? Is that just a new concept? I want to understand here.
I typed up a whole big thing about personal theories for Ianthe's mentality but decided it was probably too much and saved it elsewhere, so let me know if you want that I guess, but no worries if not.
For that matter though, what specifically proves that "Harrow is a terrible person"? Because a lot of fans find her deeply relatable, and there are both fans and other characters who don't see her sour grumpy attitude as particularly offputting and some actively find it endearing. "She made Gideon's life shitty for 16 years" can only do so much heavy lifting when we know for a fact Crux and other adults were worse offenders, Gideon was also constantly shitty to Harrow, Harrow was literally younger than Gideon, and Harrow was dealing with severe and untreated mental illness that Gideon personally exacerbated. (We KNOW Gideon is inclined to pull pranks on Harrow and rearrange things when she's out of the room and do other things that were very likely to cause Harrow to need to go to Crux for reality checks, that Gideon is a significant contributor to her fearing she's simply insane, and that she was actively afraid to let Gideon specifically know bad her brain was even though that could have helped a lot of them a lot.) And also when that stopped nearly immediately the second they were away from the adults perpetuating it. I don't know man but I feel like staying in a pattern one was raised in when it's never been challenged says a lot less about a person than how they behave and adapt once it's gone.
Is it because the baby nun who was 500% paranoia by volume between her hallucinations and her recent trauma she can't properly remember and having been raised to be extremely secretive at all times Or Else wasn't ecstatic about being romantic or bffs with someone who she knows killed and ate one of the only other friends she had in cold blood while also dealing with constant attempts on her life? Because even with all that she was honestly still pretty soft with Ianthe. Denying being friends in words doesn't change that she was relying on Ianthe and trusting her even more than she did their God and being fairly intimate with her. Actions should speak louder than words.
Like genuinely, why do you think "we're not supposed to" like or care about or sympathize with Ianthe, or that Harrow is objectively terrible start to finish? I don't see it.
A big reason I ignore all the meta from Tamsyn Muir about The Locked Tomb is that her values system about some of her characters seems deeply at odds with their characterization in-book.
Muir clearly loathes Ianthe, and yet HTN shows an Ianthe who is deeply insecure, scared, and desperately lonely. Yeah, she killed her Cav and a few other people. This is quite bad. I do not think Ianthe is a good person. But I don't find her irredeemable like Muir says.
Hitting on Harrow isn't ideal, but also Harrow is her only friend and flirtation is one of the few ways Ianthe knows to show her companionship. Throughout HTN, Ianthe seems to be trying to make friends, to be helpful, and is rebuffed at every turn by Harrow.
In contrast, while Harrow is less evil than many of the other characters, she is clearly a profoundly horrible person. She is mean and cruel to those around her, she has made Gideon's life absolutely miserable for 16ish years, she rebuffs basically every single offer of help and friendship anyone but Gideon ever shows her in either of the two series (and quite meanly; basically anything anyone ever gets from her is some verbose equivalent of "go fuck yourself".)
But we spend all this time in her head, so we know it's because she's scared and insecure and doesn't know how to handle it. So very much of her behavior is forgiven by Muir and by the audience because of this. A sizeable portion of the fanbase seems to be mad at John for trying to tell her to get more sleep, or to try doing something relaxing (make soup), or even to ask other people for help. Yes, you cannot will your way out of depression, but "try to get more sleep" and "do soothing things" are basically foremost of any serious advice for how to deal with it.
John doesn't know why she's been not getting enough sleep. But he's also a deeply fucked-up person. And yet he's trying with Harrow. Badly, clumsily, but trying. He doesn't really know why she's been on such edge and miserable. But Harrow never tells him. She has John and Ianthe (and probably Mercymorn and Augustine, although they're even more fucked up) she could have tried asking for help, and refuses.
But, Harrow is the protagonist, and we see inside her head, and she's not willing to actually murder Gideon, and she thinks murdering 200 children was bad, actually. So we're expected to sympathize with her.
Don't get me wrong, I sympathize with her. I want her to be better. I like fucked-up protagonists who aren't great people.
But do not, for one second, suggest that Harrow is not one of the worst human beings in this series (behind John, Cytharea, Mercymorn, Augustine, and Ianthe, in roughly that order). She brings an untold amount of her misery upon herself by being deliberately, not prickly, but just so. fucking. awful.
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mythicalcoolkid · 6 months ago
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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lgbtlunaverse · 4 months ago
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While I think the moment in cql where Meng Yao– still bleeding from a stab wound in his chest btw– realizes Lan Xichen is in danger and decides to save the man who was so kind to him in cloud recesses is cute and all, nothing will ever beat the book for me. Little bookkeeper civilian Meng Yao, who has not had a serious chance to make his dreams of being a cultivator come true in fucking years, out of nowhere gets the fucking sect leader of Gusu Lan dropped right in his lap?
It's such a great example of Meng Yao's multilayered motivations to me. Because is civilian Meng Yao thinking of all the ways he can use this? Of the fact that having a great sect leader in his debt is the best thing that could happen to him? Duh. Obviously.
Is he very purposeful about appearing to Lan Xichen as a kind young man full of untapped potential, brave and willing to put his life on the line even though he really doesn't know so much about about cultivators, no sir, except a little he picked up here and there, because you see his father– 👉👈 Of course he is!
But the way through which he does that is... by actually saving Lan Xichen's life, at no doubt significant personal risk. The way he makes Lan Xichen believe he's kind and selfless is by... being kind and selfless. Just because he's doing it on purpose doesn't mean he's not doing it.
Is it lying if you want people to think you're nice and so you're nice to them? Isn't that just called being nice? Yes, he is very purposeful about how he appears to people, and very carefully crafts an image based on what he wants them to think of him, but most of the time he does that simply by... actually being the kind of person he wants to appear as. He still did the kind things he did, regardless of his motivations for doing them.
#mdzs#mdzs meta#meng yao#jin guangyao#lan xichen#rs: i wish it could've been you#I think for a guy like nmj the reason this 'fakeness' is scary is because it makes him unpredictable#meng yao COULD be nice to you because he wants you to think well of him and the best way to do that is simply being nice.#OR he could be planning to kill you later. you have no way of knowing which one it is.#but like... the existence of the latter– while obviously very troubling!– doesn't really make the former manipulation in and of itself#but both people in universe and the fandom frustratingly often take it as such#'i want this person to like me so i'm gonna be nice to them' <- this is not manipulation. this is just interacting with people.#anyway this dual motivation probably also applies to show meng yao. who is scrambling to find something else now that he's been banished.#but the reason the novel grips me so much is little civilian a-yao doesn't even *know* lan xichen yet.#it's the journey of this at first being very inpersonal- both as an opportunity and as a heroic act#(the impression he's giving being that he saved a stranger because he's just that kind of person 😇)#and over the course of their time spent hiding together becomes... very very personal.#meng yao coming in with a very general plan that he could charm any kind of person with and slowly adjusting it to fit lxc#but how is that so different from just... getting to know a person and realizing what kind of relationship you want to have with them?#I also just think it's cute to have a-yao get bonked over the head with the realization that this guy is so fucking NICE what the FUCK?#no way he's this lucky. good shit doesn't *happen* to him where's the catch with this guy??? hello???#lucky of course both on a personal level and for his practical goals. i loveeee both sides of a-yao's brain screaming in tandem
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averlym · 1 year ago
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no one would notice if i ever vanished // if bodies could sustain // this never-ending army // like blood pumping through a vein
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:OOO hello. anyway since these are all posters i'd have in an ideal world or smth and i'd like to store the high res versions somewhere,,, here's the google drive folder for them? hehe ''
close up!
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#adamandi#vincent aurelius lin#i'm back with the posters! or smth! idk!!#i'm maybe just a bit obsessed with vincent. such a Character.#where can i run is sustaining me single-handedly through this exam season (<- has cried thrice in the last two days; alas; but moving on)#my stress response was that in a fit of apathy i shut myself down from academia and stopped to paint this#six hours total? on this funky little thing! had to push myself to finish the magnifying glass but!! looks so cool. i'm impressed with my e#fun fact: all the shades are hand-coloured. aka everything is digitally hand painted hooray!! i havent painted for a long time (ish)#smth about this musical makes me want to paint. it's very lovely that way#it's also a miracle i haven't gotten carpal tunnel or any wrist injuries so far... i'm a lucky person! hooray#i had so many thoughts to ramble about and now i don't recall any of them.#-! about this piece: inspired specifically by that one line that i doodled in the margins of a math practice last night#the diagonal slant was very. thinky. the rendering and angle were kinda contradictory to do but it's fineeee (draft was diff. pov)#i liked the red abstraction. and the way that people (misc) gave same vibes as red blood cells.#green for vincent because contrasting colour!! considered a spotlight that was more obv bc. again theatre lighting is so cool. but that was#a bit too literal? i think. so just fun little highlights. no one look at the accuracy of anything here though.. shadows do Not do this#also like hehehe lin. forest. forest of people. i really liked thinking about that. hehehe#i didn't know the font to use!! or quote!! so i slapped on the name of the musical and called it a day... the blank one is in the google-#-folder if you want to add your own stuff :') also also i wasn't sure about cropping at all. so again high res in google drive link#which is under the keep-reading sign! kind of a choose your own adventure because i'm lazy :3#ajhshdhfhfhfhf i think i've been fuelled by the tags under each post so far. so intensely. so very nice.#also when the cast or creators drop fun facts... serotonin right there.. they're all so nice waaagh it's so cool that they like my stuff ><#<laughs> really grateful that the whole fandom's so sweet <3 thank you for your support TvT#alright!! off to mess about with chemistry. jiayou me.#oh yes. a post script about the cropping crisis: i wasn't sure how small i wanted to make him. in proportion to the crowd. so if you see it#on mobile ig it's tiny and on laptop it kind of makes sense ...
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spacebubblehomebase · 5 months ago
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hi, just letting you know that ahmed 90s-ghost doesn't verify fundraisers anymore! he quit after it got too overwhelming, so you shouldn't @ him asking him to. you can probably find the post about it by searching his blog.
Thanks for letting me know, Anon...
I get it... I REALLY do.
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I understand. Y'know I used to be so excited to get Asks. It means someone wants to talk about art and silly cartoon characters with me. But now all I feel is dread. Not because I don't want to help, but because the help I give is never enough. I used to privately mesage back to those Asks, but one became 6 became 10 to... Well. I can't donate. Euros and dollars are valued a lot higher here, thus the opposite is also true. The value of our money is but a paltry bread's worth and even if I split it in crumbs, with the amount of people who approach me for help, it'll soon run dry, but I'm just a student who still rely on my parents financially. So I thought I'd share instead, but that quickly got out of hand. I post one thing and get multiple asks by the HOUR. I already had to apologize for struggling to meet demands before and I only had 3 or 6 rare to come-by short Asks about art. Now I have a hundred and counting I have to check personally. I didn't want to admit it, but I've also long been overwhelmed. I just didn't feel like I had the right to say so. I still don't. But the truth is, anyone can say they're verified too, which is terrible because not only will I be partially responsible for my followers who got scammed by bots or scumbags who take advantage of those at war with fake fundraisers, but even worse is that the help and money may not even reach those who actually need it. I thought I would be fine the first time. I don't really like posting too much about our depressing reality or watching news in general because my account was supposed to be a "safe SPACE" and a "nice little BUBBLE" for us to be happy and escape for awhile, so I didn't think much about reblogging it at first. I only wanted to help. But it just kept going and I got swept away. There's so many of them, but there's only one of me and I've been spiraling lately. So for now, I will no longer take any Asks about this subject (which I always avoid mentioning directly because the algorithm has it out for putting you guys down and I wanted you all to make it so I didn't tag those reblogs as such). I'll still take Asks provided they're related to my actual content and of course I'll still support raising awareness for Pal est ine, yet I also get it if this may appear selfish to some of you. I tried. I really did. But if you'd rather ignore, unfollow, or block me for this decision, I understand. I'm just sorry it had to come to this and that I wasn't strong enough to help more. -Bubs.
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alchemiclee · 8 months ago
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I really hate when people say this. if I dont record, I cant "enjoy it in the moment" because I dissociate out of my damn mind and then have no memory of it! recording helps ground me and keep me focused in the moment! let me do what I need to in order to enjoy things you soggy potato 😭
plus, as a photographer/aspiring videographer who hasn't had the luck to become friends with bands and work with them, IM DOING A THING I ENJOY AS WELL, SO SHUT UP LMAO. I enjoy doing video and photos MORE than standing in a crowded, overwhelming room watching people do stuff on a stage. THATS LIYERALLY ME LIVING IN THE MOMENT DOING A THING I ENJOY!!!!! WHY IS THAT WRONG?!
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deoidesign · 7 months ago
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I have a question, but it may be already have been answered in the story (my brain is just not the best with memory).
Since vampirism symbolises for you chronical illness (which, omg, that is a hot take I've never thought off before and love from now on), does Steve count as chronical ill, too, with the whole halfvampire thing going on? So, would his uncontrollable time jumping each month be a symptom of that chronical illness?
not in the story, no worries! Just a possible interpretation and my personal intent when writing.
As a small aside I personally don't like to think of chronic illness as something that people "count" as, so to speak, it's an extremely personal label and incredibly varied between individuals and as with all disability there is never such thing as hard lines or black and white... but I understand why you worded it that way and I understand what you're asking.
So, yes, Steve is also chronically ill within this framework. The entire comic is sort of shaped around this, to be honest! I mean he canonically has some pretty extreme memory issues... He's also canonically homeless (not that this is an illness but I just mean it's something I think most people forget about him when discussing him). And, yes, his condition is uncontrollable and is severely impacting his ability to live the life he wants to live.
He has just been barely coping up to the point we meet him, and has been very desperate which is what led him to creating that list of deviations. He has periods where his body is out of his control, he is unable to form relationships, he hurts others without meaning or wanting to... Yeah. He's metaphorically relating to a lot of things, really.
So, yknow, you're welcome to interpret him as you'd like! for me I relate a lot with my various issues and conditions and thus that's why I've projected on him the way I have, but of course I would understand entirely different interpretations of what is inherently metaphorical.
#I also have an extremely personal relationship with addiction#and also with anger management issues#among other things#uhm#and so reading this I think it is possible for someone to read that into it as well#however personally I dont really like vampires as a metaphor for addiction... for many reasons but#I think it's also just a bit messier than I would like things to be#and isnt how I really would personally choose to portray an addict at all.#though I do think of addiction as an illness as well so. as I was writing this I was sort of seeing glimpses of that as well#so. idk!#interpret how you like.#I mean as long as the interpretation isnt erasing his very real struggle#he is straight up homeless because of an uncontrollable condition that he has#so like. it's serious#I recognize that the way I write sort of puts a happy go lucky veneer over things#and I'm aware that it sort of hinders the severity of the situation somewhat inherently#to where people have been SHOCKED I look at steve as chronically ill when he... the entire comic is based around it...#my personal theory for this is that I uhm. me and my worlds are very accomodating and so the struggles are more internal#rather than necessarily external#besides of course the like cops being after him#but like because it's less societal and more internal I think many people don't recognize it#and because people are gentle and understanding I think they recognize it less...#I dont know how to explain this properly you will have to forgive me.#but it's something I wonder on often. why don't people recognize his extreme pain and his terrible situation for what it is..?#is it cause he has a rich boyfriend now and money is solving the situation or...#anyways.#anon#asks#if its simply because of how I write I think I need to work on that.#but if its because of people not recognizing illnesses in people who 'seem fine/happy' then I'm glad to make people second guess things
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adore-gregor · 11 months ago
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ugh
#altough it got better in a way my self confidence is still so bad :(#some days it's worse than others it changes with my mood or idk#just lately i have been feeling kinda down about myself#i just have never been this naturally confident person and i feel like i'm not enough or not doing enough a lot at times :/#when i was younger it was even worse and i thought of myself that no guy would ever like me bc i'm so not good looking#obviously that was not true and guys do like me and i would not go that far anymore but often i look at myself and think average at best#even though that might not even be true and sometimes i like what i look like in a mirror but i think to myself just good lighting or sth#and so often when i see a bad picture of myself i feel so ashamed like i'd just wish i looked differently#and when guys tell me i'm pretty or also other people i find it so difficult to believe that like i don't see that in myself#but it does not make a sense i know others don't think of me like that also guys i think of as a attractive but i don't see myself like that#but it's not just that i often also feel doubtful i will ever achieve much#i always think i should be finished with uni already or have better grades#and mostly that i'm not smart enough in general#but my grades are not even bad and i'm not failing any classes#like i just got another a in that class (i'm actually really happy about that one) but then i think okay but some people have all a's#like i could do better i could study harder#unfortunately i'm a master of procrastination as well 😅 and quite good at lol#what i mean is that i manage to study very little compared to others and still get good grades - sounds good but keeps me lazy 😅#and i also think when i achieve a good grade often that i don't deserve it that much because i could have studied more#and that i just got lucky which is not very rational i know 😅#or once i actually just passed an exam (i studied the night before) and i though yeah the teacher just felt sorry for me and let me pass#realistically i don't think it was like that#and at uni i studied for big exams which were feared by students for 2 days and got a b#which should indicate i'm somewhat smart but i think i just know the right study techniques and got lucky again#altough i do know good study techniques i think :))#buuut sometimes i do things which are so dumb like i do have these moments my mind is going like blank#and it's not difficult things even#like in football we did this exercise of a series of passes and everyone got it but me until a few tries like how is this harder#i'm just kind of bad at envisioning like this series 3 dimensionally in my mind idk i usually get it once i do it and remember the movement#what it feels like
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varjopeura · 1 year ago
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navramanan · 2 years ago
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I go through these short periods of time feeling very okay and good even only bc i distract myself from what pains me until it catches up again and the cycle repeats itself
#i think it's verrrrrrrrry close to catching up again after i've had normal 2 weeks lol#so many ifs and buts and would things be better had i made a different decision lived in a different place or time etc#but i'll never now i'll always only have the here and now and the unchangeable past#and the very incertain scary future i'm trying so so so hard to be hopeful about but seeing things as they are right now. i really dont kno#i can only fake it to some point. i cant fake it till i make it. i'll fall apart countless times and then wont make it anyway#i feel like. i feel like all the circumstances i've been in have all always been against me#like i'm the only unlucky one among the people i know#i try so so so hard to remind myself that people who seem to have it so much better have their own problems too#but then also i remember something i wrote down once as a teen. the phrase you typically hear#''i have been battling (?) with this problem but am lucky enough to have a support system / loving friends etc''#and idk how right i am with thinking this way but no matter what problems you have.#it's the toughest thing to lack deep connections with at least 1 person ideally like 3 i guess bc it's such a fundamental thing#you know having someone you can ALWAYS turn to without feeling bad and you know that they can and do turn to you too#and i do have a few wonderful friends i love so so much but i feel and know that no one needs me like i need them#every friendships feels so fragile to me. no one depends on me turns to me for advice or to vent etc#and when i feel like i need to do any of those things i cant turn to any of them#there's still inevitably a sort of disconnect i feel#and it terrifies me that i'll never find someone i connect with on a deeper level and it's mutual and we both can depend on each other#and there are no boundaries no shame no unspoken words#i dont know how true any of my feelings are but. but yeah#nesi rants
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onceuponapuffin · 4 months ago
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I like Stitch. I have always very much liked Stitch. Do you know how much Stitch merch there is? DO YOU?? HE IS EVERYWHERE ON EVERYTHING IN EVERY VARIATION. It is guaranteed that people in my family will buy ANYTHING for me that has Stitch on it, regardless of whether I'd like the product itself. Because it has Stitch on it, so they're good right? He's everywhere. It's easy.
I haven't shut up about Good Omens in over a year. THAT is my passion right now - THAT is where my heart is. Any of my family members could order Good Omens merch for me and I would scream with delight.
But when Christmas comes around, you know what they're going to do instead?
Stitch.
liking an unpopular character sucks ofc but liking a popular character is its own special kind of hell like Yes there's a million fics and a billion drawings No i cant look at them
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