#i'm a vegetarian but u know

[lalalychee]

me at a nice restaurant waiting for my order of chicken strips and fries

[welcometogrouchland]

IMPORTANT UPDATE FOR BATMAN AND ROBIN (2023) FANS!!!...he eat a burger [ID in alt]

(taken from Nicola Cizmesija's insta, who's on art for B&R issues #5 and #6)

[moregraceful]

i am being so brave by not reading the excerpt of @selkiefinalist's fth fic for me that she just posted. i am being so brave about not clicking read more. i am like cookie monster, i am practicing delayed gratification. bravely

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier

[boxwinebaddie]

gm angels! it's time for ur random rm fun fact of the day!

which is that ravenstan's spice tolerance is scary high and when he was on Hot Ones it was a legendary experience bc he was just having a blast, decimating vegan wings, rating the quality of the hot sauces, unphased by how fkn spicy all of them were and when he finally got to the last wing and the last dab, he forgot he was only supposed to put a little on there and SLATHERED HIS WING IN THE LAST DAB.

and sean evans/the production team were so worried he was going to pass out or something...but he was Stoked! he was like woah, this is fucking Delicious, dude! can i have a second one? MY BOOOOOY!

[maxlarens]

Hi ! As a pescatarian girly and as someone who has recently started to like Lando, I kept thinking about him with pescatarian!reader, because you know opposites attracts and also it made me think of the olive theory from 'How I met your mother', can be fic or smau

(also I'm the anon who requested the Charles fic and I was wondering if you gave names or emojis to your anons 🤔)

ahhh hi😇😇 thank u sm for sending another ask in. verrryy into this! ive never watched himym but i HAVE heard of the olive theory and genuinely think it can be so true. i also think like sharing food/giving certain parts of ur meal to ur partner is so sweet so i loved this a lot🥺🥺

also, tbh i have never had a consistent enough anon to name them/give them an emoji so i would loveee LOVE to do that🙏🏻 pls let me know what i should call u❤️ (and if anyone wants to be a regular/semi-regular anon and give themselves an emoji/name pls do!!!) ANYWAY alright i hope u enjoy— it’s a just a short ficlet 😌💖

LN: quid pro quo

pairing(s): lando norris x reader [read on ao3]

word count: 1.2k

“Eugh,” Lando says, feigning a gag as he looks at the plate of food set in front of you, “That’s disgusting. I don’t understand how you can put that in your mouth.”

Slowly, you raise an eyebrow at him, looking between your plate and Lando’s screwed-up expression; you point at your food, “Salmon? You think salmon is disgusting? Are you joking right now?”

He shakes his head fervently, a grimace still stuck on his face, “It’s gross.”

A laugh, loud and guffawing erupts from your mouth as you realise he’s being entirely serious. He’s fixated on your meal, frowning as if the fish has severely insulted him in some way. Quickly, you clap your hand over your mouth, concerned you’ll offend him if you keep laughing like that. This is one of a handful of dates you’ve been on together— clearly the first you’ve ordered seafood on— and you’re still trying to make a good impression on Lando.

“Wait,” you collect yourself, breathing deeply so you don’t fall into a fit of giggles again, “You’re not allergic are you?”

“No,” he shrugs, “I just hate fish. You’ve never heard that?”

You snort a little indelicately, already going back to eating your salmon, “‘You’ve never heard that?’,” you tease, “Do you think I stalk you on the internet, Norris?”

He grins that small sheepish grin you like so much as a light blush blooms on his cheeks. You’re very fond of him really. He’s cute in a scrappy kind of way; he’s funny and charming, a little bit dumb sometimes; and he’s into you, which is always a bonus. You’re not together— not quite— just seeing each other when you both have time, but it’s been going very nicely if you do say so yourself.

You like him.

He likes you.

Lando rolls his eyes, and purses his lips in an attempt not to let you see the smile that he’s trying to hide, “Don’t you? Stalk me on the internet?”

“Never,” you answer resolutely, thinking blatantly of that night after you’d first met him when you fell down a rabbit hole, spending a good hour watching thirst traps of him on Instagram before coming to your senses, “Not once.”

He hums, unconvinced, “Alright.”

Alright. You make a face, almost stick your tongue out at him but think better of it at the last second. He laughs— giggles— at you. You look away from him, down at your plate, trying to hide the smile that spreads and spreads behind your hair. God, you like him. You’re trying not to let it get away from you. You get the impression that he’s not huge on relationships, and you’re trying hard to be casual about him. It’s difficult— mostly because everything feels so easy when you’re together.

“So,” you start as you push a forkful of salmon and leafy greens around your plate, “Hate to break it to you, but I’m a pescetarian.”

“Um,” Lando asks around a mouthful of half-chewed food, “What’s that mean?”

You stifle a laugh, “Like a vegetarian, but I eat seafood.”

He swallows and makes another face, similar to the earlier one. You can see this is hard for him to process, he clearly dislikes seafood to a degree that you hadn’t quite understood until now. It’s funny. It’s another thing to add to the growing list of reasons you fancy Lando Norris. Though you would think that as a pescetarian you’d want him to like fish, but you suppose by not eating them he’s just saving all the sea animals that you’re not— quid pro quo.

“What about, like,” he waves his fork around, evidently still wondering why you’d eat seafood voluntarily, “just being a vegetarian?”

You shrug, “Vegetables are boring.”

“Right. Better than eating fish though.”

“I like fish.”

He shakes his head, “I don’t get it�� It’s— they’re slimy and they smell and they’ve got fucking beady little eyes. It’s not natural.”

“Okay,” you laugh brightly at his despondent expression, “I do need to eat them, unfortunately. Otherwise, I’d probably die of malnutrition, or I dunno, scurvy.”

He groans, hanging his head so that all you can see of his face is that mop of brown curls. You think of your second date when you’d kissed him for the first time in your stairwell and how you’d threaded a hand into it— and they were soft and not heavy with product the way that you hate. The way he’d smelt like expensive cologne and tasted both smokey and sugary at the same time, just like the whiskey and cokes he’d been having at the bar. There’s a soft smile playing at your lips when he finally looks up.

“Does it bother you?” you ask, “That I eat fish.”

He shrugs, shakes his head in a non-committal way that could be either answer and does that little grin again. The one that means he’s going to say something that you’ll find either unbearably cute or embarrassingly funny.

“Yes,” he says, grin not subsiding, “How am I supposed to kiss you when you’ve got fish breath.”

Your eyebrows shoot up and a shocked laugh bubbles from your mouth, you try to ignore the stirring feeling in your gut at the words how am I supposed to kiss you in favour of responding to his lack of tact Try, being the keyword there. It somersaults in your head, how am I supposed to kiss you he said, like he was thinking of doing it again. Which, okay, of course, he’s thinking of doing it again. You understand what this is— but there was an unmistakable fondness there that you just can't shake.

Anyway, you push thoughts of kissing him aside, he’d still accused you of having fish breath, “Wow,” you say dryly, with no malice at all as much as you try to feign it, “You say that to all the girls?”

He blushes, his tan cheeks turning a very pleasant red as he properly realises what he’d said, “Shit. No— oh my god— I’m sorry. I just meant—”

You wave him off, laughing, “I know what you meant. You’re good, Lando.”

“Phew,” he lets out a breath of relief, his nervous laughter punctuating the air between you, without meaning to he says, “God, I thought I’d just fucked it.”

You furrow your brows and frown, confused, “No. You couldn’t.”

You watch him scrub a hand over his face, embarrassed, before it falls away and he gives you a sheepish little grin that says he’s happy to hear that. Toothy, eyes squinted and carving dimples into his cheeks. Your face feels warm and you smile back, biting your bottom lip on the smile so it doesn’t grow and grow to cover your whole face.

Later, after you’ve finished lunch and spent too much time talking over a too-sticky table in your favourite pub, Lando kisses you up against a tree in the park by your apartment. You put your hand in his soft curls and you smell cologne and taste what he’s been drinking as he presses his tongue into yours. The coarse hair of his moustache brushes against your lips and you kiss back with equal gusto. You pull away when it feels like you two are veering into too inappropriate territory for this public park. He chases you, but you laugh softly, pressing a perfunctory closed-mouth kiss to the corner of his mouth. He groans, laughs, and puts his forehead against yours.

You hum, “I guess my fish breath doesn’t bother you so much, huh.”

“Fuck,” he breathes, “You’re never going to let that go are you.”

You shake your head ever so slightly, “Not as long as I live, Norris.”

[kokoqvx0]

Okay so like here are some sukuna hcs :3

I'm drooling over this mf too much and I'm bored asf, so have fun and read to your hearts content!!

POV: Sukuna hates your ass, but he found you interesting and kept you around, and now he's basically an iPad kid, and your the iPad. (It's late idk why this is funny)

SFW

- Calls you cute pet names instead or your actual name since he met you!

Dumb female, woman, worthless trash, trashy female, maggot (how lovely!!)

To..

(Wretchedly adorable disgustingly beautiful woman/j, little bunny, brat, my weakling)

Not really into cute cheesy stuff so he either keeps it mean or simple, maybe sometimes cute.

- when he met you, you either had to have some good stories to tell him or an interesting personality, or else he probably would've ignored u or killed you tbh.

- he doesn't like to admit it, but he loves to listen to you talk, and converse with you when he's bored.

- whether you know how to cook or not, he doesn't care that much.. (he has uruame or wtv) but if u do know how then that's a wonderful bonus!

- he'd play board games with you, or any kind of games if he was really bored.. (also wanted something to be good at and beat you with) if he looses he'll probably just fight you one on one to remind you who's better in general

- when he goes out destroying villages and killing people, he brings you back expensive souvenirs before leaving. Once he saw a woman with beautiful clothing, he thought it would look good on you, so after he killed everyone he took it and gifted it to you! :3

- doesn't care so much about the dating stuff, if he has you around so much then your already his, so why put a status on it?

- I don't think he would marry.. but if he ended up being madly in love with you or had some sort of admiration towards you, he would just get a ring and put it on you, say your mine/my queen forever and be done with it

- he actually secretly loves when you want to cuddle him from time to time.. he likes your warmth while he puts his huge 4 arms around you and cradle you

- jealous? Sure, possessive? Definitely, this guy will not tolerate other men getting close to you. If they talk with you, he'll be pissed sure, but he knows you won't actually get to close, but touch you? Flirt? Yeah, they're dead.

- loves squeezing your thighs/belly, anything he can get his hands on, not even sexually sometimes, he just wants to feel you (calms him down sometimes)

- when you annoy him too much, he rolls his eyes and flicks your head or arm playfully, then tells you to leave him alone for now. If you get sad about it he'll probably get more mad and just pull you into his arms and squeeze you, "whatever, sorry you sensitive weakling.." kisses you and let's u annoy him for a bit longer

- loves to eat, whenever he's hungry he likes to eat and talk with you sometimes, mostly listen to you talk. He stuffs your mouth with some cow meat or something because he thinks your face looks cute stuffed. If your a vegetarian, he'd probably roll his eyes once you told him and tell you how you would not like meat. (Shows up with a whole farm worth of fruits and veggies to get uruame to make a custom meal for you)

NSFW

-when yall fuckin, he definitely degrades and groans real loud tbh.

- names like, slut, my little cumdump, whore, and all those nasty names come up

-he def has a breeding kink

- loves to mark you, biting everywhere he can, scratching, just to wake up the next morning and see you covered with his love marks is so satisfying to him

- when you get too tired, he stops after a bit and lays down beside you for you to sleep in his arms, if he's still not satisfied he'd probably be pissed but it's alr there's always tomorrow

- he's big, hella girthy too I must say

- he loves missionary or mating press the most, the look on ur face makes him feel even more powerful and when you ride him it's even better seeing you struggle to take him

- spanking goes crazy tbh, loves hearing your yelps and whines when he spanks too hard

- he's so good at eating you out, like seriously, way too good. He doesn't even bother looking up at you most times, too focused on your taste and sounds you make when he gets too rough on eating that shi out 💯

Alr I'm too tired for more but if you have any characters u want me to do go ahead and comment em!! Sorry if this was bad I was half passed out but I'll do better trust, goodnight!

[featherandferns]

ik this isn’t a prompt but i’m in love with the idea of jj calling the reader mama like maybe in bed or just being affectionate. they don’t have kids but it’s just a name he’s given her

"mama's mad" is still one of the best quotes of the show, so i've got u here. hope this is okay! idk why a lot of my stuff is set at breakfast time in the chateau. maybe i'm craving bacon (my poor vegetarian ass is suffering)...

(content warning - mentions of sex)

“If you two could screw a little quieter next time, there’d be no complaints here,” Kiara says to JJ the moment he walks into the kitchen on Sunday morning.

JJ makes his way straight to the counter where some bacon has been served up. He gladly grabs at it.

“I’ll take it under advisement,” he replies, biting down into a piece of crispy strip.

John B is cooking eggs on the hob whilst Sarah leisurely slices lemons and oranges by his side, for infused water.

“Will you?” Kie asks.

“Probably not, nah,” JJ grins. She rolls her eyes.

“Where is your girl, anyway?” John B asks from the stove.

JJ opens the fridge and retrieves the carton of OJ, taking a swig.

“Napping. Didn’t get much sleep last night,” JJ can’t help but add with a slimy grin.

“You’re shameless, JJ,” Sarah sighs.

“You know it, princess,” he winks. He watches as Kiara starts mixing together ingredients in a bowl. “Whatcha making?”

“Pancakes.”

“Oh, nice,” he hums. “Lemme see if mama wants any.”

By mama, he obviously means you. It’s a given that any ‘mama’ in JJ’s sentences refers to you; something the Pogues and yourself have casually come to accept. The moment you and JJ stopped beating around the bush and fessed up to your feelings like the semi-mature teenagers you are (it was practically a battle of who-dare-say-it-first), he had taken to calling you it. You weren’t exactly sure why. Had teased him about whether he had a mommy kink in private (which he neither confirmed nor denied). Mostly he did it to joke. It sounded nice in his northern accent, anyway. Drawled off the tongue smooth and sweet like honey. So, no complaints from any party, unless JJ got vulgar with it in front of the Pogues (which was fairly often, with it being JJ).

Heading down the hall, JJ pushes open the spare bedroom door and darts his head in. You’re still in bed, lounging on your back, hair a mess and neck covered in healing and forming love bites. JJ grins, proud like a kid winning a science fair contest.

“Yo, mamma bear? Pancakes or bacon?”

“Why do I have to pick between them?”

“Fair point. You want both then?”

“Mhm,” you sigh lazily, eyes shut. “Coffee too, if there is any.”

JJ cringes. “Think Pope made some.”

“Yikes. No, then.”

“You got it mama.”

With that, he wanders back into the kitchen and grabs a plate from the drying rack of the sink. It’s always piled high with pots like some rip-off modern art project. The leaning tower of pots and pans. He dumps some bacon on, holds out his plate for John B to serve up some eggs - straight from the pan - and makes Kie promise to save some pancakes. Then he’s back in the bedroom, two forks in hand, climbing back into bed to share the morning fry-up with you.

“This is the life,” you sigh, leaning your head on his shoulder as you eat.

JJ smiles and nods. You’re right. You’re always right, to be honest - not that he’d ever confess it. Only one of you needs a big ego, and JJ likes to think he’s claimed that spot.

“Wanna fish later?”

“Mhm,” you nod. “Don’t mind really. As long as I’m with you.”

“Aw,” he grins, nudging you with his shoulder, making you laugh. He can see the flush to your features when he does. “You going soft on me, mama?”

“Only you,” you grin up at him.

JJ can’t take it when you look at him like that – like he hung the stars just so you can stand under them – so he grabs a strip of bacon and shoves it in your smiling mouth, making you laugh.

Yeah, this is the life.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

Hi! 🐑🐑 anon here! thanks so much for the sheep :)))

I’m typing on my phone rn so I can type much better. Thank you for the advice!!! So here’s my Argentina thing:

I go to school here (7th grade) and we have breaks betweeen every class!!! 5-15 minute breaks! It’s illegal to not have them! It’s amazing!

i get to choose my lunch every day! I choose, I buy, and I can eat almost anywhere! I always eat the same thing (caprese roll) cuz autism and vegetarianism

speaking of which, we can eat in any of the breaks! We decide! It’s awesome!!!

no dress code! No awful suffocating polo shirts! With the worst fabric made! Just whatever I want to wear! Every day!!!

if I can’t do something, I’m allowed to not do it! I don’t have to do gym! I can sit it out! Gym is rlly hard for me bcuz I remember one day in my life when I could run for more than a minute without doubling over gasping at the end. Also, I hate it.

Not school related things now:

everyone uses their hands to talk! So I don’t get weird looks for my stimming!!! It’s incredible!!!!!

this is a ginormous one for me: THEY ARE SO BLUNT HERE. They use body language, which I can read well, and they just say what they mean! It’s such a relief!!! I can trust them!!! I don’t have to try doubly hard to figure out what they’re saying!!!! ITS SO SO SO AWESOME!!!!

also: a down point is that the greeting is usually a hug. But for some reason, here, hugs are better! They give me tons of warning bcuz I know when they’re gonna do it so I can prepare! Everyone talks with their body and it’s so much easier to understand!

Back to school real quick, we address the teachers by first names!!! No titles that seem to just distance us from ppl supposed to help us!!!

yeah, there are asshoels, but mainly, people are so nice! But in a genuine way! Not in a stupid social cues way! They are genuinely happy to see you, and if they aren’t, you know! No passive aggressive, no sarcasm (I like sarcasm sometimes but it can be annoying), just actual words!!!

wveeyone gets accommodations! The gym thing, are you tired? Or did you break your hand? Whatever! You can sit out! Do you need to doodle in class? There’s no, “do you have a (professionally diagnosed) learning disability? No? Then no.” Just yes! Sure! I love your doodles! Can u draw something for me?

Anyway, that was a lot. I’m actually fascinated in this and obsessed so thx so much for letting me info dump in your inbox!!!! Hope it’s interesting! There’s more, which I’ll add later!

-🐑🐏

Hi 🐑🐑! That all sounds great! I'm glad you've had such a positive experience there ☺️ I wish I could have got out of gym, I always found it so difficult and my PE teachers could be pretty mean 😔

[whimsical-roasting]

You reblogged that Sam gifs post and it reminded me of that headcanon i have of being Sam’s friend but you’re feisty and take no one’s shit. Like he’s always takes the high road and you’re like when they go low i go lowER. I would fight that Akufo dude for him no questions asked.

hi wifey <3 you are absolutely right!! i fucking love that idea of Sam having a bestie who'd throw hands for him.. it's on sight all the time.

special thanks to @sokkigarden for bouncing ideas off me, love you bby. okay, i wanna write about being friends w the AFC Richmond boys more, so if yall have ANY thoughts on being friends with ANY of the lads then send me requests on it so we can DISCUSS

OKAY BUT BEING BESTIES WITH SAM OBISANYA

he's such a wholesome and loyal friend... a breath of fresh air yknow?? Dani is more of that 'unconditional sunshine' energy, but Sam is positive whilst still keeping it real w you

and sooo you're hella loyal to him too. well, you're loyal to everyone you care about. you'd take a bullet for them, no questions asked, but probs a lot of cussing involved (same, but i'll come back to this)

sharing an airpod each if yall go out on a walk or join the team on a bus ride - if you're dating jamie then he NEEDS you next to him on the ride back, probs uses your shoulder to sleep on and has an arm around your waist so you can't leave, but that's a diff post ahahaha

having a shared spotify playlist that you both keep adding music too...the vibes are all over the place. "Y/N, I was trying to jam out to J.Cole, and then Adele came on??" "Oh yea, I was sad bout something earlier"

blanket forts and microwaveable caramel popcorn for when he's missing home

playing as him in FIFA when you're with the lads and yellin "YEA THATS MY BESTIE" every time you score as him

pinching his earlobes like his dad would for good luck on the days of a big match/when he's really nervous

since opening OLA'S, you join him when he attends small business owner conventions, but that's mainly to try the free food

since i'm vegetarian, telling him that his menu looks great but you can only stick to sumn like the jollof rice.. so next month when he invites you over to his restaurant for a catchup dinner there's a whole new lil section for vegetarian dishes on the menu (or whatever dietary inclusivr thingy etc.)

warning Sam about Afuko because "a man simply doesn't feed you pasta and lobster and send you a stack without something in mind" and him being like ??? what and you groan, "did you watch the tiktoks I sent you??"

hearing about how the Afuko rejection went and Sam only focusses on "he called me medium talent??" and you're SEETHING

you're like "what the living F U C K" and he's like "oh hey Y/N, don't worry, I know I am not medium talent" and you're like "what? no, shut up, obviously not, but that's not the POINT here. how did that ASSHOLE have the audacity to speak to you like that?!!"

you're searching up flights to Nigeria and opening a google map from the airport to Afuko's business residence or something, and Sam is like, "seriously, forget that guy. bullet dodged." and you're angrily muttering about how Afuko's gonna have to dodge the bazooka you're gonna smuggle onto the plane

"We cannot be best friends if you end up in jail because you tried to smuggle a bazooka onto the plane." "I just wanna talk to him...with a bazooka." "No." "Pleas-" "No."

telling Sam you might be getting feelings for Jamie and being nervous he'd be mad because of their relationship in S1, but you promise he's changed, and Sam is like, I know

wearing the Obisanya jersey and the rest of the boys are like 'hey why don't you ever support our merch' so like every match you're switching out jerseys before texting a pic to the groupchat

running into that Francis guy who's Afuko's right-hand man and "accidentally" stepping on his foot real hard like OOPS

giving him updates on your love life and vice versa. "Y/N, please tell me this one is not a loser." "Um, Sam, shut up; you know my rizz only seems to work on losers??" "hey, Jamie told me that telling a woman my favourite movie is Ratatouille is a bad idea... is it?" "just bake her a lasagna or something and say that's how you learnt to cook." "I am not doing that." "dammit, I thought we'd get lasagna for dinner"

doing random tiktok trends or challenges - the baking one where one person is blind, one is deaf, and one is mute, but they all gotta work together to bake a cake!! sam (tape around his mouth) x you (blindfolded) x jamie (loud ass headphones on)

jamie: pass the FOOKIN sugah!! *back turned to yall as he stirs the mix*

you: WHAT. WHERE. *randomly smacking shit, picking up the salt and dropping it on the counter and onto a spoon*

sam: mmmhnph! *waving his hands in your face like NO but you can't see*

you: *turning to jamie with a spoonful, which he probs tastes absentmindedly whilst stirring* OI TASTE THIS

jamie: FOOKS SAKE

[lukerycyja]

How to take care of your funny looking dog tutorial

Paring: zhongli x reader (platonic)

Summary: you find this funny looking dog during a hunt in the mountains and decide that you won't kill him for meat but instead take care of it.

Warnings: description of wounds, hunting, some blood, reader isn't vegetarian, female reader

@zhongrin tis one for u

The mountainside was uncharacteristically cold this year. The winds blew and snow fell few times and it was only the beginning of the autumn. You could tell, that this winter will be a challenge to survive.

Your hands hurt as your fingertips let go of the arrow. However, the pain was worth the wait.

Preparations for winter for somebody living in solitude in the mountains is never easy. There was a lot of unpleasant surprises and challenges to overcome just to survive. And since this winter wouldn't be merciful, you had to do double amount of work.

This catch would be the last of today. Since dragons already left for the winder, escaping from the cold, there was plenty of prey roaming around, getting as much food as possible. Only during early spring and autumn the vast terrain controlled by the dragons was suddenly deprived of most predators, causing a lot of animals to venture along the mountainside.

As you approach what you though was a big brown salamander that somehow could run fast on land, you stopped abruptly. It was not a salamander like one you could see in the ponds in the caves.

This lizard had small horns and dirty, glued together fur. It also had small, yellow and standing scales along its back. And of course tuft of dirty, torn of once probably yellow fur at the end of its tail. Was it some mix of one of those illuminated beasts you heard once? It looked too scrawny and small for a dragon, with longer body. Besides, they already left. Your arrow pierced its tail and lizard got stuck while running away, with arrow getting it stuck between some fallen branches.

Little guy struggled a little more but it quickly run out of energy, now breathing heavily and looking at you with wide eyes. It's trembling and quiet whines made it look more pathetic.

You could tell, that while looking chubby and soft, it was definitely underweight. It scales dull and greyish in colour almost completely with no shine. It looked so pathetic that you couldn't bring yourself to finish it. Besides, there was little to no meat on it anyways.

"Hey there bud" you said in calm, quiet voice, slowly moving towards it "I'm not going to hurt you... at least not anymore"

You tried to not look into its eyes and crouching to make yourself look smaller and less intimidating. You didn't know if it worked, but you knew that jumping onto the poor thing would only make it worse.

It only could wiggle and whine as you finally got to it.

You knew that once you freed it, it would probably run away and die.

"I know you are scared, but I can't let you run little buddy. I will have to take you and make sure you heal, okay?" You felt stupid talking to an animal, but oh well.

It's not like there was anyone in the mountains anyways. Besides, that little lizard looked more and more cute. Maybe after you healed it you could keep it as pet if it accepted you?

"Okay. Let's make a contract. I will take you home and heal you and you will get some delicious meal and a warm bed. You just don't run now, right?"

Your baby talk somehow worked. But most likely lizard just couldn't move because of exhaustion. Oh well, at least for some time you will have a company, or so you hoped.

Picking it up, it only squeaked and quietly whined, weakly wiggling against your hold. It stopped quickly and instead shook as you rolled it in your scarf. Making sure that your little buddy was safe and sound, and that the arrow wasn't able to move, you adjusted your bag with previous prey on your shoulder and started walking home.

You decided to baby talk to your companion to try and comfort it a little, or at least so it can get used to your voice. You did that with your chickens, baby goats and cats and they all seemed to like it. Hopefully lizards liked this as well, although you suspected it more soothed you than it. You still decided to take it as positive.

Yellows turned into oranges and browns, as leaves of sandbearer trees lost lively golden colour and started to die and fall. Some cuihua trees still had ripe sunsetias on their branches that crimson foxes and squirrels tried to collect. You already got more than enough of those, only waiting now for the walnuts. You were sure that you could get them in the next week or so.

And you still had to get down to the village to get that donkey that you purchased, before any snow or rain fell, as mudslides weren't to be messed with. You returned home once after rain and you could dig mud out of your hair and ears for weeks.

Shuddering at the unpleasant memory, you carefully stepped over the line bridge above the stream that in the spring turned into roaring river. You will have to remember to remake it it the spring, as you could tell that it won't make it through winter.

Your little buddy reacted to sudden swaying on the bridge, and whined, trying to bury itself further into your scarf. You could only coo at it and hold it tighter as petting it now was rather easy way to loose a finger or two.

After stepping on the solid ground again you made sure, that it's as okay as it can be, and started walking again, this time faster, as it was getting colder and darker by the second, and you did not want to be caught by the night winds. During autumn their bites were the most painful and unpredictable.

Seeing swaying light of a lone lantern that you set up today warmed your cold body. You couldn't wait to finally cook dinner and light up the fire. And warm bath was a need, considering how dirty you got during hunting and gathering.

And also taking care of your little friend. He needed your attention first.

Walking by your chickens and goats that were returning to their safe abode, you finally made it to your house. Core structure was made with geo constructs by a geo vision wielder that you paid a rather hefty sum of gold and minerals. He didn't take mountain people currency, so you had to give him most of your precious finds from the trips. But it was worth it. Rock was able to withstand the strongest of elements and you didn't have to worry about it crumbling for your entire lifetime.

Warm air and smell of various spices hit your nostrils as you finally closed the door behind you and ventured into the kitchen. Setting down the scarf cocoon you apologized to it, as you heard it's whimper at being moved even more. You quickly set fire under the fireplace and set the bag of gathered food and herbs on the counter, caking off your outside clothes at the same time. Once ready, you pulled out your handy healing bag and started to remove layers of fabric from the small lizard.

As you slowly set it on the table and uncurled it to the full length, you realized that it definitely wasn't a normal lizard but at the same time it was longer and thinner than normal dragon hatchlings. It had horns sure, but it looked as if someone stretched it too much. Regaldles of what it was, you wanted to help it as much as you could.

You pulled out clay bowl and got some water from the bucket standing by the brick stove. You thanked your past self for getting water from the river in the morning so it wasn't freezing and got to work washing your little buddy. He didn't even flinch, and you noticed that he probably passed out from the exhaustion and pain. Poor thing.

As you scrubbed it's scales and fur, you noticed a lot more minor injuries and missing scales. What worried you were the teeth marks very similar to those of a dragon hatchling. Was your little friend bullied and that's why it was so weak?

After cleaning it and its wounds, and getting your own arrow back, you rolled him (yes, you checked it's gender and basing on the look of the scales of his lower stomach and your limited knowledge, it looked like it was male (you can check the gender of a snake by looking how its tail looks, thinker and smaller are females, but i decided to just give dragons something similar but different because why not) in some clean cloth and put him by the fireplace to warm him up.

You then decided to make a meal for yourself and something light for him to munch on so he could get his strength back. Also, you need to stop trying to call him just "him". He needs a name if you will keep him around for a few weeks. But what would even fit him?

You prepared an herb stew for yourself and some light chicken broth for your new temporary pet. You saw that after a while little cocoon started to wiggle around and you guessed that he was hungry for sure, seeing how thin he was.

Putting a small bowl near his snout you heard rustling and quiet whine. He blinked slowly and looked at you with golden eyes, pupils blown wide. It sniffed the bowl and after a short while is wiggled closer to it. You already moved backwards, to not scare it more. You smiled, seeing as it stick out it's forked tounge and dipped it in the broth. There was silence for a few seconds and then it started to slowly drink from the bowl.

You muffled your chuckle as it ate as if someone would take the meal away from him. You could name him after some food, that would be funny. But you wanted his name to be unique. Oh well you will have to try and find something in the old stone tablets that you found not so long ago in the cave.

Leaving the kitchen after making sure he was okay, you left to close the chickens and goats, as well as to finally prepare your catches for long process to make them survive the winter and not poison you.

After you finally washed your bloody hands and returned to the kitchen to get prepared buckets of water that you needed for a bath, you noticed that lizard was curled up tightly, only slightly visible from the pile of cloth and sleeping soundly. You smiled and proceeded to leave it for the night, hoping that it won't destroy your kitchen during the night.

Laying down you could only wonder on how would life change during his short stay with you.

* 1. Name him after his look in some ancient language, because it's funny *

Waking up was not easy, especially when it was only getting colder and colder outside. Knowing you have to get out and feed your animals and open the gates for them already made you feel cold. And let's not even mention getting water and breakfast ready and the dreaded journey to the Hua village. It would take you all day, and dragging that donkey back wouldn't be easy, but he would protect your animals from any stray dog or mountain dog. So it was worth it. If only that could make you move...

Stretching, you got up and reached into the bowl of water on the nightstand to wash your face. Cold water woke you up forther and you got yourself ready for the day.

As you walked into the kitchen you saw that the bundle where your little buddy was sleeping was empty. Thinking that he escaped you sighed at the site of empty pot that had the chicken broth in yesterday. It was empty and oily paw prints made you understand who made the mess. Following the trail, you turned away from the door, as it lead further into your home, into your study room.

As you entered, you were met with... interesting sight.

Lizard still in the bandages and some dust and fat around its mouth was looking at you with big eyes. It seemed as you caught it eating your collection of cor lapis.

Literal rock cor lapis.

There was a minute of silence and stillnes as you looked at eachother. You stunned and he scared.

Then he spat out some of the crushed cor lapis from his mouth.

You bursted out laughing, the scene in front of you was just so ridiculous that you couldn't keep it in you. And he just looked at you and curled up on himself, becoming basically round and you just couldn't stop your giggles. He was so adorable!

Suddenly a name popped into your head. Morax. Which in the language of the north merchant that you met long ago meant round. In other languages it didn't meant anything, but you didn't care. It sounded like a name and was funny. So Morax it is.

After you calmed down and were able to stand up again, you grabbed the little troublemaker and felt his full tummy under your fingers. You had no idea that his stomach was so big to fit so much. That was definitely gonna be a good day.

* 2. Let it steal heat from your body and feed it your best minerals. Be careful, he can bite! *

Storm blew wind in the background as you worked on sewing your new blanket. Some time passed since you welcomed Morax in your home and it didn't look like he wanted to leave you anytime soon. You made him a bed out of an old crate and some soft blankets and furs you had laying around. He loved it and apparently loved you, because he wouldn't you alone. Like ever.

He followed you outside and since it got cold and there was snow falling sometimes, he would climb on you and hide under your scarf. Also, during these five weeks together że was getting slower and sleepier. You guessed that his dragon part, since he couldn't migrate, was preparing for hibernation.

Morax was a dragon, just not a full blooded dragon.there was something else mixed there, but you weren't sure what. It didn't bother you, but you could only guess how that will impact his behaviour. Hopefully he won't be too big otherwise you will have a problem. Being part dragon made sure that he would be big, yes, but you hoped that the other parts weren't too big.

You also regularly fed him cor lapis, as he was really fond of it for some reason. Although you had to be careful, because little beast was so eager that he often bit your fingers as well, trying to eat as fast as he could. You figured that this was a result of other dragons bullying him.

He also gained weight because of your care. His scales became shiny brown and he gained weight as well as grew. Now he was as heavy as half filled bucket of water. Which was a lot for such a small animal. He was now chubby and when he sat on the edge of your table, instead of making a loop with his body, he looked round. But you didn't mind at all. He looked cute and healthy now, and you knew that dragon hatchlings had a lot of chub.

As you were just finishing the last stitch, Morax decided that he had enough of playing around with a ball of unused thread that you made for him and went back to his bed. You yawned and decided to go to sleep. Blowing the candles and making sure fire wouldn't spread from the fireplace, you petted Morax one last time and went to bed.

After laying down and making sure that you were fully covered, you finally rested after the long day. Although you couldn't even fully close your eyes before you heard a quiet mewl. Morax sometimes made this sound, so you didn't mind. But the soft and quick footsteps were unexpected. He never left bed when he went to sleep. Not until sunrise.

When you felt the bed dipping and a small huffs near your right ear, you stilled. He never did that before. Yes, he trusted you to some degree, but despite being rather cuddly and letting you pet him, he was careful.

With great difficulty he finally climbed onto your bed and made his way under the covers. After achieving that, he snuggled into your chest and neck and after positioning himself, let out a quiet huff and started purring.

You melted at his actions and let yourself fall asleep, content and happy.

* 3. He can turn into a more human baby *

Warm sunrays tickled your face, as you walked out of your house on the middle of the spring. Some villagers were travelling and asked you for directions. And as a mountain hermit you lacked human contact, so you started a conversation that was becoming longer and longer. And your little (well, now not so little anymore) buddy was becoming more and more restless after you closed him in the house so the villagers wouldn't run away.

Morax was looking though the small window as you interacted with other two legged things like you. And he didn't like it at all.

And yet he understood that you wanted to be with your kind. He understood because that was what he wanted before his own kin banished him from the nest, his parents watching as his siblings chased him away, not sparing bites and scratches.

He remembered how hard it was to survive in the wild. And he remembered how you found him and took care of him. How your food was warm and tasted strangely delicious, how you gave him his tasty rock treats, how you starched behind his ears and how you let him sleep with you. You were his real parent, his family. And he wanted to be a part of yours.

He felt his small body getting hotter and his elemental energy draining. But he had to, he had to fit in more. He didn't want you to stop loving him. He wouldn't let it happen again.

His energy finally drained and he was very sleepy. He lost consciousness as he made a weak sound, crying out to you to come to him.

You heard a sound coming out from your home, and bid goodbye to the villagers. When you returned you could only stare in shock at the small child with Morax' features sleeping next to your sink. It had small horns, pointy ears, scales along its spine and chubby tail. You also noticed that its hands and feet had dark talons and it had weird, glowing tattoos.

"Morax?" You asked weakly.

It seemed like those above gave you a child.

[b0tster]

As a first nations person I always get a little annoyed whenever I hear "im vegan"/"I'm vegetarian" because I assume and am right like 80% of the time that they are native hating racist. Like the amount of times I've seen vegans attack native people online for posting videos of a hunt or showing off how we use animals is insane. I'm fine with people not liking/wanting to eat meat but please kindly fuck off with calling me a murderous freak because I follow in traditions older than your families bloodline...

well i dont know what to tell u u assumed incorrectly.

[highlordofkrypton]

TALK TO ME ABOUT CASSIAN X TAMLIN BROTP PLEASE?

I WAS IN BED WHEN YOU SENT ME THIS I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL I COULD GET TO A COMPUTER AHHHHH I love talking about this himbroship I'm buzzing where do I even start omg omg

This is 10000000% fanon, but it's good, happy, soft and silly!

Cassian and Tamlin met during the First Hybern War; Rhysand was like 'hey ya'll meet my new friend' and like any normal person Cassian was like OH YEAH, TAMLIN'S NOSE MEET MY FOREHEAD

They ended up wrestling bc the broness called to one another, so obviously they had to test each other

It's now a normal greeting for them for Cassian to barrel into Tamlin and tussle with him; Tamlin loves it because it's the relationship he never had with his brothers

Cassian is THE shorter older brother, he's at least 30 years older than Tamlin, but Tamlin is 6'5"+ and Cassian is built like a BAKED BEAN

Tamlin is definitely the more introverted one because he's insecure, but Cassian will double down on ANYTHING Tamlin says or wants. OH UR VEGETARIAN BRO??? BEANS ARE THE SHIT AND GRASS TOO

Cassian doesn't know what exactly vegetarians eat except grass and beans, he tried once and cried he did not like whatever the hell a 'bean patty' is

Having a friend outside of the Night Court is a really fascinating experience to Cassian because even though they both had different upbringings, they have similar... vibes? Tamlin is quiet and curious, Cassian and loud and will put his hands/mouth on anything to figure out what the hell this new thing is. They both had 2 brothers with a MEH dad, warrior training, they punch first and ask questions later, it's just really cool to connect with someone on that level

It's also nice for Cassian to be able to chill w/ someone else and get an outside POV when he's going through something w/ his brothers

Cassian 10000% percent vibes with Tamlin's let's just fuck off and live in nature, it's very peaceful

Tamlin's great great great great great grandmother is a willow tree who has the hots for Cassian, lots of shh shhh and stroking his face with her vines when he's being so dumb

Cassian is seemingly more hot-headed than Tamlin, but Tamlin is the one with rage issues; it actually helps Tamlin a lot to have a friend who will BLURT OUT the first thing that comes to mind especially when confronted with something shitty like 'YO DUDE THAT'S A FUCKED UP THING TO SAY' and 'OK U WANNA GO?? MET ME IN THE PRYTHIAN PARKING LOT 1V1 ME'

Cassian's bluntness also helps drag Tamlin out of depressive slumps. Trauma can really re-wire someone's brain and make you act out, but Cassian also turns his loud honesty on Tamlin like 'FIRST DON'T TALK ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND LIKE THAT' and 'YOU'RE BEING A DICK is this how you feel or is this a reaction my broski' -- his heavy hand is an excellent contrast to Tamlin's other best friend LUCIEN

The humour shared between Tamlin and Cassian makes zero sense to anyone. At all. They will die laughing at a bag of 70% cacao and Cassian will over the 'o' and they've been laughing at 'caca' for the last 10 minutes. It's very freeing for them.

Tamlin loves fruit, Cassian general does not eat fruit or vegetables. Tamlin introduced Cassian to a giant fruit bat and lied to say 'he's very disappointed u don't eat ur greens' and CASSIAN TOOK THAT PERSONALLY??? he eats mangoes now and other tropical fruits to honour his batcestors bat-ancestors???

Yes, they can have an entire conversation in 'bruh's

IF we transpose this friendship that started in the canon 'Tamlin trained with the Illyrians in the war' to TODAY, Cassian never recovered from the falling out between Rhysand and Tamlin. It's really difficult for him to reconcile what happened to HIS family with his friend he knew, loved and trusted. When Rhysand vanished, his first instinct would have been to go see Tamlin for help (but there's a lot of guilt for not checking on him either since Cassian knew Tamlin didn't have.... a support system like him).

In Modern AU, Cassian and Tamlin have DEFINITELY those ugly shirts wit each other's face on them and their names in ✨GLITTER✨

Fuck it, Cassian gets really into shirt printing and just prints shirts for them for every occasion, they're ugly on purpose -- he also has swim shorts that are just Tamlin's face going 8D all over them

Cassian started the 'BIG STRETCHY' trend whenever Tamlin stretches and it's law EVERYONE DOES IT NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE

Anyway, I love them a lot and ummmm I absolutely not normal about them I will DIE on their bestie hill

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK I HOPE U LIKED READING IT AS MUCH AS I LIKED RAMBLING ABOUT IT

[savrenim]

whos ur mdzs blorbo (if u say anyone but jiang cheng youre wrong /JOKE)

not to be an Extremely Basic Bitch but Wei Wuxian. in my defense gotta LOVE me any character who is doing basic physics research and you cannot tell me that the development of demonic cultivation is not basic physics research in any given story I am going to be most obsessed with the character who is closest to doing theoretical physics in that setting bc most often nobody gives a fuck about the physics of their world in the main story even!! though!! it!! would!! be!! really!! cool!! magic!! physics!! that!! I!! want!! to!! know!! about!! and yes I understand the author set out to tell a story not to do fundamental physics but the physics of it will haunt me. I can and will kill on the hill that Wei Wuxian does magic physics and he does it Really Fucking Well and that is the thing I care most about in the world

but also

I am generally Bad At Cooking. I got better at cooking towards the end of grad school! but at the beginning of grad school I was actually cooking all my own food for the first time and was Bad At It and what's worse is that I was so tight on time that I'd almost always bulk cook for the whole week which meant that if I fucked up a recipe I had to eat it for lunch and dinner for like six days straight

until I discovered. the single best cooking hack. in the world.

you see, I like spicy. and I'm a vegetarian have been for forever and vegetarian bulk meals are like. "pasta and vegetables" "beans and rice and vegetables" etc etc. which and it turns out. that if you fuck up trying to make something. without altering the texture and having to redo anything bc it's totally possible to do it at the very end you can just dump an ungodly amount of red pepper flakes and/or cayenne pepper powder in and now it does not taste Bad, it simply tastes Spicy, and for me, that tastes Good

I proceeded to use this trick with everything. including when my coffee beans got really old and stale bc bought those in bulk too. simply throw red pepper flakes in to the ground beans before you drip brew it and now it's spicy coffee instead of stale coffee!

anyways I eventually became A Better Cook and Started To Make Food That Is Spicy But You Can Actually Like. Taste Other Flavors. miss Spicy Coffee tho, wish I had the time to brew my own coffee again.

fast forward to like. a month ago.

I discovered about a month ago lo and behold that I Do Slightly Better life-wise if I Actually Eat Breakfast before running out the door even though it's like 6:45am and I'm not that hungry. and I had a bunch of old fancy farmer's market granola from like two years ago that was about to expire so I started eating that with some greek yogurt. but it was a small bag and I was about to run out. so I bugged housemate-partner-who-is-a-good-cook-my-beloved of would he consider helping make me a shit-ton of homemade bulk granola, I'd grab the ingredients and we could figure it out as we went along

except the thing is he Hates cooking by Vibes instead of A Recipe it Stresses Him Out So Much bc he is not used to people with the attitude of "eh if I fuck around I find out that is the deal I make with the universe I'll still eat it" he is used to people with the attitude of "if it's fucked up I am physically incapable of eating this"

so I. jokingly. as he expressed some Worry about "do we REALLY need to cook this by Vibes? can we Please find a granola recipe??" went "hey don't worry!! if it comes out Absolutely Terrible we can just use my old trick from grad school of throwing enough cayenne pepper into it that it just takes Spicy instead of Bad!" the joke being that like. spicy granola in yogurt that is a CRIME hell spicy granola is a crime who ever heard of spicy granola

.............except I was. really curious.

so the next morning I tried sticking some red pepper flakes so the texture wouldn't be disgusting into my granola and yogurt, I am nothing if not a caricature of myself, I live by the primary tenet of "commit to the bit" there did not exist a world in which once I had set forth that bit I would not Commit to it.

and it was delicious????? like it was weird Spicy Surprise but it was delicious. No Bit I Just Legitimately Like Spicy Granola Apparently With Or Without Yogurt.

so I Decided that let's not even wait for us to Potentially Fuck Up The Granola Recipe let's just put 3/4ths of a full shaker of red pepper flakes into it for Funnsies. because that's a reasonable amount of red pepper flakes, right? there's a lot of granola I want to make sure that there's a hint of spice in every bite!

out came a gallon and a half of Crimes Granola. the red pepper flakes got into the coconut oil so every single bite of it is infused with a huge amount of spice it is FUCKING DELICIOUS and to absolutely every single person in my house who have Nowhere Near My Spice Tolerance even the one who Likes Reasonably Spicy Things it is Totally Inedible I make a three month supply of booby-trapped granola that I and I alone can eat

anyways.

like two days later I proceeded to have an existential crisis about the fact that I'd made granola that I was the only person I knew who would like it, except also, Wei Wuxian would probably like it.

so yeah he's my fave.

[seaweedbraens]

Honestly ricks new book has just inspired me to reread wcwsthwas again.

I'm convinced Rick doesn't remember who his characters are anymore.

ill be the first to admit my characters can also be ooc! i think ive also fallen into the 'annabeth as a mom friend' trap (though piper is usually annabeth's mom in my fic) and i do think i have a lot of work to do keeping my characterizations consistent.

but heres the crux of my problem, right: this isnt my job. im a girl in my twenties who works full time and writes for fun. my ao3 is my hobby, and the characters i write are not canon. thats why it KILLS ME that rick writes with such a loose pen. in this new book, ive seen at least 5 inconsistencies, and thats IGNORING the timeline one (because why are people acting like leo is alive???). he has changed....just core things about characters. like grover the vegetarian eating a bacon sandwich and clovis now being morpehus' son. lack of attention to the little details, imo, just shows a lack of care. and as @glove23 pointed out, it shows that he really doeant respect his readers. he's acting like we're idiots, like we arent going to notice the changes. and, at the risk of aounding like a scooby doo villain, HES GETTING AWAY WITH IT TOO!! twitter laps up everything he does. it infuriates me to a whole other level.

this man is retconning shit left and right, tweaking stories previous to suit whatever new one he's writiig at the moment, and it just comes off as disrespectful and sloppy. fic writers are doing better than him at just about everything at this point. im not even talking about ME. there are heaps of really incredible pjo authors who seem to understand and respect the source material far more than rick seems to these days. and thats a goddamn shame.

ive read snippets of the book - some parts are okay and some are passable but most feel...weird. i dont know if its just me, but even the percabeth felt off. i hate how percy calls himself dumb in, like, every second sentence. when did that become a thing? and WHY? i wouldnt be surprised if this was ghostwritten. tbh, i hope it is. like you said, it feels like rick doesnt know how to write his characters anymore :/ sucks but i feel like i need to add a disclaimer to every fic now: this author has read only the original pjo and hoo books and all characters are written based on the ones of those series.

ANYWAY THIS IS NOT WHAT U ASKED FOR I WENT ON A BIGASS TANGENT IM SORRY SHSKSKSJSKSK

sidenote: to the poor souls running the riordanverse wiki, GOOD LUCK

[hmshermitcraft]

U want crackships??? I'll give u crackships!!

Mumbo Jumbo and V1 ULTRAKILL

Literally only because of the Mumbo vampire hc and the fact that they'd both "drink" blood.

Mumbo is kinda weird about drinking blood, it's basically cannibalism, even though he isn't human and it's a vegetarian diet he feels bad when the hermits show up for the monthly blood drive so Mumbo has plenty of caprisun blood bags.

V1 has no such qualms. V1 rolls around in gore like a fucked up little dog, V1 will do anything for a lil sippy of blood, V1 is absolutely flabbergasted when Mumbo is hesitant to eat in front of others.

Where V1 comes from the only one who had an issue with how it ate was Gabriel, and even he got over it eventually since V1 was not about to listen to an angel of all things. Plus there's more important things to worry about, like surviving in hell.

Trying to introduce V1 to the rest of the hermits is a nightmare because V1 is a homicidal maniac who's always hungry, but Mumbo manages it. V1 actually takes a liking to Xisuma because of his past as the doomguy so they manage to bond over their shared experience of battling into/through/out of hell and then killing God. Mumbo is thankful for this because at least V1 is learning that not everything that moves is a snack bar waiting to be eaten.

V1 brings Gabriel along one day because it's good to introduce your boyfriends to each other and Grian catches a glimpse of another previously brainwashed, now wanted criminal angel guy and is like "hell yeah let's be friends" and Gabriel is like "what the fuck is this weird bird???"

V1 being completely unable to speak and also literally a robot makes communication about feelings a bit difficult for Mumbo "emotionally constipated" Jumbo but they make it work with insane games of 20 questions and charades, which diffuses any arguments because it's so silly to watch this murder machine responsible for the extinction of the human race (????) try and communicate "why the fuck did u take my phone charger, i needed that" by gesturing wildly and beeping.

Mumbo lets V1 run wild under Scar's various mountain projects turned mob spawners whenever it gets a little antsy/overwhelmed with the amount of people it can't kill. After it's done mumbo has to pressure wash it so it isn't tracking gore literally everywhere because it has no issue with being covered in guts.

Mumbo is a massive, tall, wide, strong man, and V1 is just a little guy made for speed more than strength because u don't need to be terribly strong to shoot a gun. So basically whenever he wants, he can just pick V1 up and take it anywhere he wants. V1 doesn't mind because Gabriel does it too. What mumbo couldn't have foreseen is lifting V1 up, only to then be lifted up himself by Gabriel, creating a tiered uppies train. This has become a sort of tradition, sometimes V1 will even lift Grian before then being picked up, making a four layer uppies stack.

"hi I'm grain, this is my boyfriend Mumbo, and this is Mumbo's "boy"friend V1, and this is V1's boy"friend" Gabriel."

I don't know what this is, I've just been playing ULTRAKILL and, in my infinite defense, u did ask for this.

-carrie

Sometimes people will ask Mumbo how they got together, in that cute way that happens with couples. Mumbo has no idea. One day he was dating Grian, the next he was also dating an enthusiastic robot with a thirst for blood.

Once V1 gets the hang of 'no killing or maiming' there's at least plenty of hermits willing to duel with it. V1 always looks a little too happy about winning. None of the hermits even care at this point, they've all seen it carried under Mumbo's arm like a misbehaving dog. Ruins the intimidation factor a little.