#i'm a mess but i can be a productive mess

[dropoutconfessions]

This is sorta a response to that anon talking about how a lot of Kristen’s potential is messed up by Ally’s play style:

I actually agree but I think this is mostly a Kristen problem specifically. She’s Ally’s first character and as such so much of her foundation is rooted in the time when Ally was still figuring out the game and how to mix their play style with authentic characterization. So I think Kristen suffers because her foundation is shaky and is being built off of seasons early in Ally’s play-history.

The best examples I can think of to prove my point is in FHFY when Kristen is given the chance to name/design her own god and Ally ends up going with a sorta joke answer of YES! that has to be retroactively changed in Season 2 because of it's lack of seriousness (which makes the moment as a whole less profound) vs. Ally seriously talking about Russel's loneliness and how he's kept himself at a distance from others and how he needs to actively work to change that after discovering Jennifer's empty apartment and her estranged romance from Amsterdam in NSBU.

What I'm trying to say is I think Kristen is a product of first-character syndrome. Ally has always had a less serious play-style (which is great! I love it most of the time, and they aren't the only player like that, Izzy for instance also seems to be more comedic then serious) but Kristen is from a time before they knew how to balance that with the serious moments needed for true character development and I think that's still negatively influencing her character down the line.

-

[fophelia1331]

It's funny how fast I can develop wild plot lines and concepts. Like, one moment I'm struggling to figure out what happens next. Then, I'm coming up with an extremely detailed character arc and the ways it affects the dynamics with characters around them. And the new idea cannot happen until WAY later in the story and perhaps needs a sequel in order to really flesh out.

No, I don't need to figure out what this group is going to do after the apocalypse calms down, I need to figure out what they'd chat about over breakfast looooong before the apocalypse starts. (Real example from a project. Don't... don't ask for context. Please, I will sound insane trying to explain it.)

So, uh, if anyone else has this too, here's some advice. WRITE DOWN THE IDEAS. Say "That's great!" and keep brainstorming. Don't stifle the creativity, just maybe try to redirect the flow if you can. Even if all my notes are scattered and about wildly different pieces, at least I have plenty to work with when the time comes.

[soracities]

Hi! So I tried not to say anything about some anti makeup posts I saw on your blog but I need to say this. I think you're very wise and I agree it's very important for us to love ourselves as we are. But some people like myself doesn't care about 'empowering' of makeup or whatever but we just have fun with it and we just love it. I say we because I know there is a lot of people like me. Yeah, we are feeding capitalism or whatever, but world is beautiful and it's also terrible so people trying make themselves feel good, have fun, ect. I see a lot of people who don't wear makeup and i'm happy for them! I didn't wear makeup until i turned 20 i think and felt good.

One thing I wanted to add is in response of post about feminine girls. I think everything needs balance and sometimes people tend to overreact in their opinion and divide everything in black and white. Personally I never cared how women around me looked and what they were wearing. But I would like to have same treatment, and not to feel silly for wearing pink or feminine clothes.

Sorry, I don't know English very well so maybe I can't translate my idea entirely. What I'm trying to say i think everyone should do what they like and leave each other in peace.

Sorry for this essay, just wanted to share my point of view.

Hi, anon! I'm sorry for the delay in getting to this, but I appreciate you writing this (and your English was fine, don't worry)

I think the main argument of those posts (and my own feelings about this) is not about makeup on its own, or even judgement about who does and doesn't choose to wear it--what they are criticizing is a particular part of the society we live in which puts a huge emphasis on women's beauty and appearance in order to fulfill an idea of what a woman "should" be, and the role that makeup plays in that as a result. Because whether we like it or not, whether we believe in them or not, whether we feel pressured by them or not, these expectations do exist. How we personally respond to them does not change that.

I personally don't have an issue with makeup or the concept of it (in almost every culture on earth, humans have been using makeup of some kind for literally thousands of years)--but what I do have a problem with is when we treat makeup, or other traditionally "feminine" forms of expression as neutral things when they are not. A comb or a hair tie is neutral--it's just a thing. Lipstick and eyeliner are also just things, but only when they exist by themselves--and in reality they don't exist by themselves: they exist in a world where we value women on their physical appearance before we value them for anything else--lipstick and eyeliner exist to emphasise parts of your appearance, to make you look a certain way--and in a society where we put so much importance on women looking a certain way, they aren't just ordinary things you toy around with for fun. You can have fun with them, but it doesn't change their role. They can't be treated as exceptions from the world they are used in.

I think sometimes people assume that being anti-makeup is the same as being anti-women-who-wear-makeup, which misses the point (and also suggests a very dangerous idea which I think, sometimes, is why people respond so angrily to these criticisms: because if we believe that being anti-makeup = being anti-women, then therefore makeup = womanhood, and this is simply not true). Whether you wear these things just for fun and to enjoy yourself isn't what is being talked about because these criticisms are not about you on a personal level: they are about looking at a society that is as image-obsessed as ours, and asking why makeup has the role that it has when 1) it is almost exclusively aimed at women--women who, as a group, have been historically marginalised, and whose value, historically, has almost always been measured in terms of their beauty before anything else and 2) the makeup that is emphasized, the trends and styles that come and go, are often not so much about self-expression (if they were, people would be freely wearing all sorts of wild colours and styles: when we talk about "makeup culture" it's not the same kind of makeup used in the goth, punk, or alt scenes for example where makeup plays a very different role) but almost always about achieving or aspiring towards a type of beauty that is valued or expected: to make you look younger, to make your eyes brighter or larger, to make your lips bigger or sexier, your cheekbones more prominent etc--again, on their own, these things may not be a big deal, but they exist in a world where having these looks means you are valued in a certain way as a woman. And when this exists in our kind of world, where the power dynamics we have automatically mean women's perceived power is through beauty, and where we insist so much on women being a particular kind of beautiful (and this starts in childhood) we have to ask and investigate WHY that is--why this type of beauty and not another? why (almost only) women? who benefits from this? who suffers as a result?

The argument of "not all women" wear makeup for empowerment misses the point of these criticism, because it is focusing on a person's individual choices in a way that suggests our choices can define the world we live in, and they can't. We are deeply social animals. Therefore, how we appear to each other and to ourselves is a socially influenced phenomenon. This applies for race, for sexuality, and for gender. How women are perceived at large, in different social structures, is a social phenomenon influenced by the societies we exist in and the values of those societies. These criticisms are about the society we make those choices in and how that can affect us. For you, makeup may be something fun and enjoyable and that's fine. I'm not saying that's untrue or that people don't feel this way or that you are wrong for feeling this way. It's also not saying that you are brain-washed or oppressing yourself for it. But it doesn't change the world we live in. Someone feeling perfectly happy to go out with makeup or without makeup, and feeling no pressure to do either, is great--but it doesn't mean there aren't a lot of women who do feel pressured into wearing it, and that pressure is a social one. It doesn't change the inequality that exists between how women's physical appearances are judged compared to men's. It doesn't change the fact that almost every childhood story most kids hear (that aren't about animals) have a "beautiful princess" (and very little else is said about her except that she is beautiful) and a "brave" knight/prince/king/whichever: the princess (or maiden or whatever young woman) is defined by how she looks; the male in the story by how he acts.

It also doesn't change the fact that so many young girls grow up hearing the women around them criticize various parts of their bodies and that they carry this into their lives. It doesn't change the fact that we expect (in Western countries at least) for women to have criticisms about their appearance and they are "stuck-up" or "full of themselves" if they don't. It doesn't change the fact that magazines photos, red carpet photos, films, tv shows etc., feature actresses who are beautiful in a way that is absolutely above and beyond exceptional (and who either have had work done cosmetically, or are wealthy enough to be able to afford to look the way they do through top-class makeup artists, personal trainers etc) but who we think are within the "normal" range of beauty because faces like theirs are all that we see--how many famous actors / entertainers can you name who look like they could be someone's random uncle, or "just some guy" (writing this, I can think of 5). Now how many actresses, equally famous, can you think of that are the same? Very, very, very few.

The point of those posts, and why I feel so strongly about this, is that we have a deeply skewed view of beauty when it comes to women, because, as a society, we place so much on how they look in such a way that it is not, and was never meant to be, achievable: therefore anything that contributes to how women look, that markets itself in the way that the makeup industry does in this day and age, needs to be questioned and looked at in relation to that. No one is saying don't wear eyeliner or blush--what they are trying to say is that we need to be aware of the kind of world eyeliner and blush exists in, what their particular functions as eyeliner and blush do in the world that they exist in, that we exist in, and how this does impact the view we have on makeup as a result. Your personal enjoyment may be true to you and others, but this doesn't change the role of female beauty in the world because, again, our personal choices don't define the world in this way. Often, it's the other way around. And we cannot deny this fact because, while it may not affect you negatively, it does affect others.

I absolutely agree with you because I don't care how other women around me choose to dress or express themselves, either--that's their freedom to wear what they want and enjoy themselves and I want them to have that freedom. But my view is not the world's view, and it's certainly not the view of a lot of other people, either. I don't care if another woman loves pink and wearing skirts and dresses--but, like makeup, pink, skirts, and dresses, are not neutral things either. They're tied to a particular image of 'femininity' which means they are tied to a particular way of "being a woman" in this world. I'm not saying, at all, that it's wrong to wear these things. But I'm saying we can't treat them as though these are choices as simple as choosing what kind of socks to wear, because they aren't. They are choices that have baggage. If a woman is seen as being silly, childish, or treated unequally because she enjoys cute tops and ribbons and sundresses, that's not because we are demonizing her choices, or because being anti-makeup is being anti-woman (again, it is absolutely not): it's because we as a society demonize women for any choice. That isn't because of anti-makeup stances--that's because of sexism.

You mentioned that you want to be treated the same as anyone else for wearing feminine clothes--but the fear that you wouldn't be isn't because of the discussions critiquing makeup and other traditionally "feminine" things--it's because we live in a society where women are constantly defined by how they appear on the outside, and no amount of our personal choices will make this untrue. Whether you are a girly-girl or a tomboy, you'll always be judged. And, in reality, when women follow certain beauty standards they do get treated better--but this doesn't mean much in a society where the standards are so high you can never reach them, and where the basic regard for women is so low to begin with (not to mention the hypocrisy that exists within those standards). This is what all those criticisms towards makeup and "empowerment" are about: it's about interrogating a society that is built on this kind of logic and asking why we should insist on leaving it as it is when it does so much damage. It's saying that that if we want everyone to truly feel free in how they choose to present themselves we have to go deeper than just defining freedom by these choices on their own, and look at the environment those choices are made in. And that involves some deeply uncomfortable but necessary conversations.

Also, and I think this important to remember, views on makeup and the social place of makeup will also depend on culture and where you are, and the beauty expectations you grew up with. And when it comes to the internet, and given American dominance online, a lot of these posts criticizing makeup and the way makeup is being used to sell an idea that wearing it is "empowering" to the woman (which is basically saying: you are MORE of a woman when you wear it; you are stronger and more powerful because, in our society, beauty is portrayed as a form of power: it tells you, you can battle the inequality women face by embracing the role beauty plays in our lives but it doesn't tell you this emphasis on beauty is part of that inequality), are based on the way makeup is portrayed in mostly English-speaking Western countries. My views are shaped by what I grew up seeing, and while a full face of makeup (concealer, primer, foundation, mascara, highlighter, contour, blush, brow tint, brow gel etc) may not be daily practice or even embraced in a place like France or maybe other places in mainland Europe (but that doesn't mean they don't have their own expectations of feminine beauty), they are daily practice in places like the US and Britain, and this is what most of those posts and criticisms are responding to.

We can argue as much as we want about makeup, but when you grow up in a society where women feel the need to put on makeup before going to the gym there is something seriously wrong. Embracing makeup and enjoying makeup is one thing, but it cannot be a neutral thing when so much of it is about looking like you're not wearing makeup at all, or when we assume a woman is better qualified for a job or more professional when she wears it. It cannot be a neutral thing when a singer like Alicia Keys goes makeup-free for a red carpet event and it causes a stir online because people think she looks sick (what she looks like is normal--I would argue above normal--but wearing makeup to cover up "flaws" is so normal now that we genuinely don't know what normal skin is supposed to look like because the beauty of these celebrities is part of their appeal: they are something to aspire to). It is absolutely very normal for me, where I am, to see young girls with fake lashes and filled in brows: it's not every girl I pass, but it is enough. I'm not saying they are miserable, or brain-washed, or should be judged. I can believe that for them it's something enjoyable--but how am I supposed to see something like that and not be aware of the kind of celebrities and makeup tutorials that are everywhere on TikTok and YouTube, and that they are seeing everyday? How am I not supposed to have doubts when people tell me "it's their choice!" when the choices being offered are so limited and focused on one thing?

I never wore makeup as a teenager and I still don't, but a lot of that is because I grew up surrounded by people who just didn't. Makeup was never portrayed as anything bad or forbidden (and I don't see it like that either)--it was just this thing that, for me growing up, was never made to be a necessity not even for special occasions. I saw airbrushed photos and magazines all around me, for sure, and I definitely felt the beauty pressure and the body pressure (for example, I definitely felt my confidence would be better if I wore concealer to deal with my uneven skintone, and I felt this for years). But I also know that, growing up, I saw both sides. No makeup was the default I saw at home, while makeup was the default I saw outside. And that does play a part, not just in the choices you make, but in the choices that you feel you are allowed to make. No makeup was an option for me because it was what I saw everyday, even with my own insecurities; but if you do not see that as an option around you (and I know for most girls my age, where I grew up, it probably wasn't) then how can we fully argue that the decision you make is a real choice?

If I wanted to wear a cute skirt outside, for example, and decided to shave my legs--that isn't a real choice. And it cannot ever be a real choice, no matter how much I say "this is for me" or "I prefer it like this" because going out in public with hairy legs and going out in public with shaved legs will cause two completely different reactions. How can I separate what I think is "my choice" from a choice I make because I want to avoid the negative looks and comments? And how can I argue that choosing to shave is a freely made choice when the alternative has such negativity? If you feel pressured into choosing one thing over another, that's not a choice. Does this make sense?

This is how I feel about makeup most of the time, and what I want more than anything else is for us to be able to have a conversation about why we make the choices we do beyond saying "it makes me feel good" and ending the conversation there. Again, I'm not saying people need to stop wearing makeup or stop finding enjoyment in wearing it, but I think we tend to get so focused on our own feelings about this and forget that there is a bigger picture and this picture is a deeply unequal one. That is what this conversation is about. I hope this explains some things, anon, and if I misinterpreted anything please feel free to message me again. x

[moj-chhe]

I'm going to order a bunch of stuff online

[pomfiores]

not to flex or anything but I'm so excited.

look at her. omg.

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Housemate is letting one of her rabbits walk around at night again :/

[transingthoseformers]

Okay but want a sneak peak into what's going on in my head? So uh it's a tfp and tfa crossover, uhhhh basically the mecha in TFA have been oopsy daisy transported into the TFP universe, and obviously the autobots are working with the autobots, but TFA Megatron took one fucking look at TFP Megatron and said frag that shit, and decided on a temporary truce with the TFP autobots and regretfully the TFA autobots.

TFA Starscream is working with the TFP Decepticons because he is Literally Immortal right how and blah blah possible weapon stuff. There's a TFA oc, a decepticon spinocon, that's only existed for a few weeks in their universe before being popped into the TFP universe. If TFA Swindle and Lockdown are here, they're probably wheeling and dealing with MECH, which is... a situation.

There may or may not be quite a lot of chaos on the TFP base. TFA Megatron may or may not be seriously simping over TFP Optimus Prime. The Starscreams are definitely working together but hate each other like ass, making a little plan to kill their respective Megatrons. TFP Starscream is actually very much feeling threatened by TFA Starscream, because that guy is Fucking Immortal. TFP Megatron kinda doesn't give a fuck, he's high on dark energon and a little obsessed with what he might be able to do if he was able to use the Allspark (TFA Starscream's stories of how he made the clones is quite alluring) The Ratchets are.... kinda getting along, in their own gruff and tsundere way. Sari is here, and is defined causing quite the ruckus with the Allspark key, and Miko is Fucking Thrilled. Lugnut is... LOUD, and surprisingly really does not like TFP Megatron and calls him inferior and an imposter a lot. The Bulkheads adopt each other in their own ways. Prowl definitely perches on shit and there's a lot of cool fighting scenes with him working together with TFP Arcee.

PTSD sharing sessions. Kinda secretly therapizing each other and not realizing that it's helping all parties involved. TFA Megatron just absolutely verbally trashing TFP Megatron at every opportunity especially for tearing a goddamn scout's vocalizer out. TFP Optimus and TFA Optimus having completely different strategies but combining them in a very interesting way. TFA Black Arachnia totally getting initially hunted by TFP Arachnid and there's a whole fighting thingy between them. Who knows, maybe i can even include a few choice human villians from TFA who could've also came along such as Meltdown oooOOOooooOoooo because that could be Very Interesting. TFA Bumblebee causes a LOT OF CHAOS with Miko. Jack is confused but really empathizing with TFA Optimus. Blitzwing is. Well he's existing and is only reasonable 1/3rd of the time, but is ultimately interesting every second of the day. The OC almost seems insignificant to all of this considering the inherent chaos of this AU, being relatively loyal to TFA Megatron and getting along with everyone but also is a lot like Random turned up ten notches.

[somethingwittythiswaycomes]

Friends, wish me luck

we're moving, we found a place last sunday by coincidence and after a bunch of scrambling around put in an offer and it was accepted

i'm not sure when i became the type of person with a realtor and a lawyer, but apparently after being an adult for 12 years you can just end up with these things?

[dawntheduckrb]

I don't wanna fight exporting a half done picture so here's a picture of my tablet I took with my phone (very scuffed lol, I know)

Long post 🦆

Alright, I do not like moping for long time when physical ailment strikes, so today I:

went and got a brace to keep my thumb still when I'm not using it

looked up a couple extra stretches for my wrist

set a timer on everything I did to be no longer than an hour

finally applied that "drawing from the shoulder" thing my professors try to hammer in

And, as of right now, I feel much better than I did 24 hours ago :D it's definitely still hurting a little, but I don't think I'm gonna have to take more than the recommended amount of ibuprofen and drown my hand in ice just to go to sleep now haha. I'm still very mad this even happened >:( buut freaking out about it last night made me extra proactive about it today, so all is well (relatively)

I was able to work on that project today, I'm very excited to show it off so here's a progress picture :3. I'm only just now realizing I made the left eyebrow/hand shorter than the right lol. Ran out of time for the feathers on the coat, but I think it's in a good spot right now. I only had the face drawn when I picked it back up today, so I made a decent amount of progress. I can't make any clean lines right now (see above), so this is really still just a draft. Hopefully I'll get it done by Monday night!

Last thing; I learned that clip studio can actually record time lapses for you, and doing it this way didn't freak out my computer, so voila (flashing lights cw, I flashbang myself a lot by accidentally removing the background):

It took me so long to draw out the top lol (I made his face really fluffy, and idk yet if I'm gonna keep that change or not)

[difeisheng]

Amber Liu & Wang Heye - Why Why Why by Jackson Wang (Our Song S5 Blind Matchups)

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

i love how flexible the concept of a roleswap can be. if i swap reigen and serizawa, am i changing which one is psychic? which one is a liar? which one is mob's mentor? which one went viral on twitter? which one used to be a shut-in? a terrorist? a water cooler salesman?

what roles do they occupy that i want to study like a bug under my magnifying glass?

but also: what is "role" and what is "character"? if i swap all of these things, what if anything is left of the original characters that makes the swap interesting? is it just aesthetics left at that point (i.e. only visually distinct) or is there still something different about the story you'd tell with them?

what is it that makes reigen essentially reigen, that you couldn't replace without making him unrecognizable? is it the same type of quality that makes serizawa essentially serizawa?

[wigglesforsquiggles]

4, 11 and 21 :D

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

ooo tbis is a hard one. as opposed to the seemingly general consensus online that england has bad food, there's actually so much to choose from

i personally LOVE roast dinners (a roast meat, roast potatoes, veg like green beans parsnips suede etc, gravy, sometimes yorkshire pudding and red currant jelly). i had them once a week at school (normally wednesdays), but traditionally you have them on sundays with your family!

they're a classic pub dish, and are hard to mess up spectacularly. my favourite roast flicks between roast belly of pork or roast shoulder of lamb. sadly they're not vegan so u can't try one rain but they're a BANGER meal 10/10

also another banger is a full english breakfast. BEST hangover food ever i will fight you. also good airport breakfast

11. favourite native writer/poet?

england has a LOT of poets and writers to choose from, many of which are well known (not by me though).

i'm not much of a poetry enthusiast and i don't read books v often so i don't rly have an opinion on this. aaa i'll say virginia woolf bc she was indirectly involved in me asking out my gf

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

if it was for aliens species to enjoy.... a box set and dvd player of all of doctor who, i think they'd enjoy seeing what we think aliens are

ive never rly watched doctor who past a few episodes here and there, but it IS a british staple so

that and maybe a can of heinz baked beans :D

[didiwaffles]

Recently I have been struggling to make any plans, even though it doesn't involve anyone else but me. Because what if I'll feel so bad tomorrow I can't get out of bed?

Mid 20s be like.

[phoenixcatch7]

Okay so apparently I beat ganon and finished the game in 175 hours within nearly two months, closing in on my 6 years of botw with 420 exactly on it (accidentally XD). I've got a ways to go! But not for a bit, methinks!

Probably going to spend my time finishing quests, getting the last of the outfit pieces (WHERE is the barbarian helm?!!), upgrading armour, finding koroks, defeating bosses, exploring the skies, gathering sage wills, getting all the shrines, messing with zonai devices, looking for caves, getting all the bubble gems, meeting every npc, befriending every dog, maxxing out my horses stats, exploiting glitches, picking outfits, perfecting my holiday home, styling on lynels, gathering items and ingredients for cooking and upgrades, fusing experimental weapons, doing amateur archeology, antagonising the yiga, making recipes, refining my combat, riding dragons, maxxing out my batteries - you know, just a few things now the main quests are done.

[conjuring-ghouls]

Working on some pictures today but I'll get to everyone's DMs when I'm done 🖤

[svtskneecaps]

i always know i��m getting stressed when my comfort fic becomes “time travel fix-it” adjacent. like honestly when i put that tag back in the ao3 include filters that should have been a red flag.