#i'm a few months into playing this game and i have a life beyond it hope this helps

[aebinspa]

meant to be

PAIRING: karina x y/n reader

SUMMARY: Your life couldn’t have been worse. You aspired to make a living as a photographer, but instead, you found yourself working in a fast-food restaurant alongside a colleague who rarely offered you any good company. Everything changed when the famous model Karina showed up at your workplace. After a few days, she managed to convince the editorial team to hire you as the photographer for her photoshoot. However, your career faced another threat when Karina pressured you to assist her with a strictly confidential operation.

GENRES: angst, lies, loneliness, we will face suffering in this life, but eventually, things will improve, and we will start over again and again, fluff at the end.

WORD COUNT: 6.9k

AUTHOR'S NOTE: english is not my first language! i'm not cut out for writing long stories. i went crazy countless times while writing this one :)) i added a little bit every day and it made the story more confusing. the next five things I write will be fluff, no more angst for a while + thank you for all the support you have shown for what i wrote. i am extremely grateful and happy that someone was able to appreciate them!

Life didn't end when you lost all your friends because of bad choices, didn't know where to put your hands, or stopped recognizing yourself in what you did and said. Life didn't end when you turned twenty. At least that's what you told yourself every morning to convince yourself to get up, when even what had previously seemed sensible lost all meaning.

In the eyes of your parents and your old friends, you had remained imprinted as a sour girl, difficult to manage but who, beyond some character problems, had always shown herself willing to help. Never to be helped. Perhaps this had a powerful impact. In your daily life, no one asked how you were in the morning. Was it more difficult for others to reach out to you and always receive a refusal or was it more difficult for you now to be alone, without anyone? And yet loneliness had always been so dear to you; a space where you could truly be yourself.

After trying to attend political science university for a few months and failing the first exam, you soon realized that it wasn't for you. The only luck was having met a girl who, between one lesson and another, had introduced you to the world of photography.

In photography, you discover a kind of joy that you could share. Often others would ask you for photos and you, with a big smile, couldn't wait to take one. Of course, everything got complicated when you had to come to terms with reality. There was no longer just photography, you also had to think about earning some money.

That's how you ended up working at a fast food restaurant that was open all day and, with the constant fear of running out of money at any moment, you signed up for all the night shifts. Someone had set you up by telling you that they paid more, but only when your first paycheck arrived did you realize that your dear colleague only wanted to get rid of the difficult shifts.

That night, you and Sunwoo, the beloved colleague who had actually made fun of you a few years earlier, were at the counter of the fast food restaurant busy playing UNO. It was more than rare to see customers at two in the morning.

“UNO!” Sunwoo shouted at the top of his lungs. “Fuck you, asshole! I’m tired and you dare win my favorite card game!” you threw the remaining cards of the deck off the counter. Sunwoo huffed and, with an agile leap, got off the counter and went to retrieve the poor cards that were now lying on the floor that was far too clean for the hygiene standards of the place where you worked. “It’s the only card game you know how to play, Y/n”

It was cold outside. A cold that froze the bones. Your winter uniforms didn’t warm you enough and the heating had suddenly stopped working the day before. Sunwoo didn't let it show, but he hated working more than you did. He had a dream more ambitious than yours and unfortunately, every door was closed in his face. The fast food place where he worked with you was the daily confirmation that failure was a constant in his life. And you were experiencing the same situation first-hand.

Sometimes photography gave you work, but you couldn't eat from it. Small jobs are undoubtedly formative, but not appealing to the taste of those big companies that looked at your disastrous portfolio.

While Sunwoo began to sweep the clean floor, you, lost in your thoughts, froze, feelinglessly staring at the street you looked at every night. Suddenly, you saw a black limousine approaching, and, scared that someone important might be there, you shook Sunwoo’s arm and pointed to the car. His eyes widened as well.

But to your surprise, the first person to step out of the car was a man in a tuxedo who then proceeded to open the back door facing the fast-food restaurant. A girl of medium height came out, wearing a black dress that hugged her body in all the right places. When she was closer to the door, you immediately noticed, illuminated by the decadent lights of the place where you were, that she had heavy makeup on her face that beautifully framed her eyes.

The young raven-haired girl sat on the stool in front of the counter. Sunwoo was still speechless. He could only mutter a shy, unprofessional “Ah, hi,” to which the girl responded with a sweet smile. Her gaze shifted to you and you flinched.

“Can I order?” she reached out to grab the menu Sunwoo had sat on earlier. “I guess so.” “The menu with the fattest, greasiest, biggest sandwich you have, please.” Sunwoo snatched the menu out of her hands and shouted “Right away!”, disappearing into the kitchen and leaving you in front of the girl. Outside, you noticed her date glaring at you.

“Not many customers come by, do they?” “We don’t usually see anyone. That’s why your visit surprised us a lot” The girl laughed in a strangely loud way. Strange, I thought she was more composed. “God, please. We will be more or less the same age, don't be so formal,” she wiped her hands on her dress laughing, and then looked at you ready to shake your hand “I'm Karina. It’s a stage name. I model full-time."

You shook hands with her, apologizing for how cold and greasy it might feel. “Well, I… I work here.” The girl smiled at you. “And do you like working here?” “What?”

Sunwoo came with Karina’s order and placed it before her, avoiding her gaze. When he crossed yours, you noticed that the boy had red cheeks. I whispered something to you but you didn’t understand.

It’s been too long since someone asked you what it was like to live a life you no longer wanted. Your mouth dried up and you were unable to answer. Karina shrugged and began eating the sandwich undisturbed.

With her mouth still full from the bite she had just taken, the model opened up to speak. It was evident she was nothing like the stereotype of a typical model; her authenticity was refreshing. Feeling overwhelmed, you moved two stools away from the client, seeking a bit of distance as you listened, intrigued by her unique charm.

"You took those, didn’t you?" Karina found it difficult to eat that part, but she couldn’t help but examine the few decorations in the fast-food restaurant. "Ah, those pictures," you turned your entire body to look at them. "Yes, I took all of them. They’re from our customers who left a special tip." "Special tip?" Karina asked, intrigued. "Yes, for a change of $4, you receive a Polaroid and agree to have it displayed on this wall. It’s not worth much, though, because I’m required to take two pictures for the price of one."

"They are all very pretty. I know some people." "There are a lot of people passing by. Sometimes they tell you their story, take a picture, and then leave, never to return. It’s almost as if-" "Romantic, yes" Karina finished the sentence for you, to your great surprise.

The silence that was created afterward was strangely comfortable. For someone like you who was always uncomfortable when she met strangers, the situation was quite strange. Karina, on the other hand, seemed completely at ease as she was happily humming and chewing at the same time. When the crow finished eating, she got up from her stool, stretched her arms, and put ten euros on the counter.

"Please don't make me change." "Pardon?" "I would like one of those photos. I'm looking forward to experiencing this too." What enthusiasm!

You took the Polaroid and waited for the young woman to pose before taking the picture. Karina made a big heart with her arms and gave you a wink. She is truly a model… "Are you done?" "Done!"

Karina approached you, then stood behind you and waited for the Polaroid to be ready. When she was ready, the girl screamed full of joy. You smiled unconsciously. "I love it, thank you!" she leaned it delicately on the counter and then turned quickly towards you, continuing to talk. "Let’s take the other one! Let’s do it together. Where is that boy? Boy! Boy! Ehiii!" Sunwoo ran out of the kitchen alarmed. "What- what happened?" "Nothing, Sunwoo" You put your hand on your forehead. "Can you take a picture of us? So we can hang it there." Sunwoo looked for your eyes but you avoided him, unable to explain. At which the boy approached the polaroid and urged you to pose. Karina chose the same place where all the other clients had been, saying she would keep the theme, and invited you to place yourself next to her.

Karina was a little taller than you, maybe a few centimeters, but in your eyes there seemed to be a huge difference. You stood closer to her to form the heart and pretended a smile of convenience to allow Sunwoo to take this photo. The proximity to the model sent a bizarre sensation creeping along your spine. Intrigued, you paused to take a closer look at her. In that moment, when no one else was watching, the radiant smile she had worn so confidently faded entirely from her face. Her eyes, once sparkling with warmth, now seemed overshadowed by a deep, unsettling darkness that only amplified her presence. Without warning, the model turned her gaze toward you, her lips curving into a wide grin that revealed a perfect set of thirty-two gleaming teeth. A chill swept over you, wrapping around your body like an icy blanket, leaving you momentarily breathless and disoriented. What the fuck?

"You did such a great job, girls. It's rare for Y/n!" You woke up from the nightmare of falling and responded to Sunwoo with a raised middle finger. "Oh, she's got quite an attitude. I need to leave," Karina said, finally letting go of you after holding you tightly. That girl was beginning to stir strange feelings in you. "The photo turned out just fine. Let me sign it and put the date on it. Come on!" Sunwoo timidly passed the Polaroid to the girl and watched her do everything she said.

With your arms folded you waited for her comfortable finish. Karina approached the corkboard and put your Polaroid on it. He smiled at her and turned, heading for the exit.

"Y/n!" Hearing your name pronounced by the model, you turned to her with an interrogative look. "Tell me" "See you!" and ran off into the limo, leaving behind a trail of expensive perfume and a cheap Polaroid.

That night passed faster than expected and Sunwoo told you - with attached photos - how this fantastic Karina was one of the most popular models in recent years. Besides being beautiful, she was about to debut in the cinema world. The moon was full and the cold was more bitter than usual. An uncomfortable feeling was in your chest, but you let it pass.

While you were going to work the next day, you took some pictures at the illuminated windows of that night. One of the projects you had since moving to that city was to create a collection of photos showing nightlife, although it was difficult to call it "life", of the traders, workers, or people just going out for fun. But you didn’t have enough prestige and money.

When you arrived at work, you greeted Sunwoo coldly, who returned. You worked hard until three in the morning because, as you well know, on Saturday mornings there were waves of guys full of life coming back from bars where they had only drunk, or from discos in the area. You found it a good opportunity to take some pictures for your photo project.

In no time at all it was six o'clock. The sun was beginning to rise and the first rays of sunshine came through the large windows of the structure. You and Sunwoo were getting ready for the end of the shift, but the boy seemed particularly agitated so you told him to leave before you. You would have waited for the other girl to give her the keys and start the shift after. Sunwoo thanked you and ran away. You knew how much he cared about his passion.

The sound of the door creaking open cut through the stillness of the room, jolting you from your thoughts. You glanced at the clock on the wall, your brow furrowing as you noted it was already twenty minutes past the time your colleague was supposed to arrive. Just as you were about to call out, "You’re lat—" your words caught in your throat. Standing in the doorway was not your expected colleague, but the enigmatic man who had accompanied Karina the night before. He stood there, an air of mystery surrounding him, his presence both intriguing and unsettling as he caught your eye.

"How can I help you?" you asked, even though you were pressed for time and the only one in the room. "I was looking for you. It was lucky that I found you right away," the other person replied. You tightened your grip on the broom you had been pretending to sweep with just moments before. "For what purpose?" you inquired.

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a crisp white card, sliding it across the table to you. You glanced down to see a neatly printed address alongside the name: Vogue, Karina’s Photoshoot. Confusion washed over you as you looked back up at him. "What does this mean?" you asked. He shifted uneasily, avoiding your gaze. "Miss Karina has requested that you oversee her new photoshoot," he explained, his tone heavy with discomfort. "The previous photographer was let go… rather abruptly. I expect you to be at the studio in two days."

Your hands shook as you faced a big opportunity. You nodded slowly, your mouth half open, unsure what to say. The man smiled and walked away, leaving you stunned. The broom fell from your hands and clattered to the floor. Your knees felt weak, and your mind went blank for a moment. You couldn’t think. You wondered how powerful Karina was and what she wanted from you.

The next day you showed up in the hall of the huge palace, waiting fearlessly for someone to come and call you. You had spent the night before reading and browsing photography books or looking at random palettes that could help you match any clothing you found on Karina.

A tall woman approached you slowly, her expression grim as she pointed to a location on the map she had just tossed at you. What a kindness… You quickly walked toward the meeting place and, upon finding the door, opened it carefully. Inside, a crew of about twenty people turned their curious gazes toward you, along with Karina and her manager.

You slowly approached your collaborators and thanked them timidly for their attention. "We will do everything that needs to be done and we will accomplish it together. All we should do is unite everyone’s ideas and give life to some of the most beautiful photos ever made" Karina, sitting in a velvet chair, put her hand in front of her and laughed candidly.

It didn’t take five hours to create everything that needed to be created. The ideas came from everyone like a river in full flow. Fill a room with artists who are also competitive people and you will get the exact personification of an erupting volcano. You were the Vesuvius and the fashion industry was your Pompeii. The next day you swore to finish the project so that you could go on with the production of the photos.

Karina, who should have been bored at least by having spent the day waiting for others to do their jobs, approached you with a remarkable delicacy and touched your shoulder. "Can you come over there?" Karina pointed to a closet nearby; it was her dressing room. "Uhm, sure" There was no reason to say no. You looked over your shoulder before entering the dressing room with the girl with the brown hair. It was the first time you saw her in a suit and all you could think about was how well she wore anything. It must be nice.

Karina invited you to sit in the two-seater chair with her. Hesitantly, you approached and sat face to face with the girl who flashed a smile revealing thirty-two teeth. "I brought you here because—" You interrupted her before she could finish. "Let’s say you fired the photographer from Vogue so I could come here." "An insignificant detail," she replied.

In Karina's eyes, you saw the same darkness you had observed a few days earlier. It made you hesitant to speak, fearing the words wouldn't come out right. "You must help me," she said. "Why should I?" you asked. Karina rose from her chair and stood in the middle of the room, her expression unreadable as she continued to gaze at you.

"You must. And if you don’t, I’ll take the only real opportunity you’ve got in your miserable life off your hands." "What’s the excuse?" the conversation seemed too much for you, so you immediately put yourself on defense. "You are a beautiful girl, you are good at what you do. I like your photos, I am sincere" "But?"

The frigid air enveloped the room, wrapping around you like an unwelcome shroud, making each breath feel laborious and strained. With every second that passed, a chilling sensation crept through your body, as if the very warmth within you was being siphoned away, leaving you increasingly vulnerable to the oppressive cold.

“You must photograph the emerging actress and model Yuna at a moment that could cause a scandal and ruin her career forever.” “This is fucking crazy,” you jumped up and approached Karina, who didn’t move an inch “I’m leaving, I don’t intend to keep this job and do whatever bullshit you came up with. I knew you were crazy, I understood it immediately"

Karina rolled her eyes, grabbed your arm, and pushed you into the seat. “You’re not going anywhere. I’m capable of destroying your present life and your future life. Be careful what you do. Listen to me and calm down” Karina’s hands were extremely cold but your gaze was even more icy.

“Speak then, cheap model” “It will all be anonymous. Become her friend and her photographer. You have one week. The clock runs out before the day you have to send the completed photoshoot to the Vogue editorial office” “It’s called blackmail” “It’s called seizing opportunities. You won’t get them again”

You looked away for a moment before getting up from your chair and moving back to the center of the room. You walked back and forth, occasionally glancing at Karina.

“They’ll kill me anyway when they realize it’s me” “Don’t worry,” Karina stood up to get closer to you, “We’ll use an external computer and no one will ever know” “A person will be involved, I don’t think I’m capable of it” “She won’t die” Karina had an amused grin on her face.

You thought back to Sunwoo and how he loved what he did like no one else. However, the most selfish part of you had surfaced. You wanted to pursue a career in photography, and you were unconcerned about the people who would be affected by your ambition. You would have done anything to make your dream a reality.

“I’m in” You held out your hand to Karina, surprised by your sudden change of heart. When Karina squeezed your hand you noticed it was as cold as yours. And that perhaps you were more similar than you could have imagined.

You never imagined that the next day you would find yourself taking pictures of the woman who had asked you to ruin the life of another model without remorse. You had discovered that all your collaborators considered Karina a sweet, kind, and always available girl, while in your eyes, every time you looked at her, you felt like you were looking at a monster.

Once the photoshoot was over and, therefore, the work you had to do for Vogue, you walked into the Karaoke where Karina had asked you to meet. The room was insolently small - maybe the girl liked everything smaller - and the nauseating smell made you immediately understand what kind of dump it was.

“Don’t you like it here?” asked Karina, who was cross-legged and munching on some chips, which she offered you and you refused. “It’s pretty disgusting” “It’s okay. We won’t be here long”

Karina took her Gianni Chiarini bag and pulled out three photos. One was of Yuna, the other of a girl you couldn’t identify, and in the last photo, there was you.

“What does that mean?” “Yuna is having an affair with this girl.” Karina touched the face print of the girl whose name you didn’t know with her painted nail and then continued. “In case you didn’t understand, your photo is there because I wanted to let you know that I had you followed a week before I showed up at your place of work by a trusted friend of mine.” “What?” you were visibly shocked. “Don’t worry, honey. I will only use the information I have on you if you don’t cooperate.” A disturbing smile made you doubt her sincerity.

“Why are you so mad at this girl?” “Because she can’t keep what’s hers.” “What does that mean translated…?” Karina huffed and put the photos back in her bag. “We grew up in this industry together. We achieved success together. And then she cheated on me.”

You were stunned. “All this just because he didn't hold your hand throughout the journey of your life? Are you crazy-” “She cheated on me countless times. She told my parents that I’m a lesbian, they haven’t spoken to me since that day. And to top it all off, she stopped me from working for a year, taking away the most important collaboration of my life”

You almost felt sorry, but you didn’t say anything. Her eyes radiated something else. Maybe she too was human and was simply tired.

“Become her new fuck buddy. Treat her well and then you can be sure that you’ll end up finding her making out with someone else. Take as many pictures as you can and you’ll be free forever” “I don’t- Who told you I like women?” “My dear friend” “God, fuck Karina” “Um, maybe this collaboration will lead to something good?”

You looked up in shock and found a rather smiling Karina. “Do you start talking about sex when you're done talking about revenge? You’re crazy.” “I can’t help it if revenge turns me on like crazy.” Karina slowly ran her tongue over her upper lip, while you looked at her with wide eyes.

“Are you really… My god, you do this to everyone?” “Everyone who? You’re probably the last woman in three years that I’ve found truly attractive!” You rested your face on the fist you’d created with your right hand.

“Do you feel lonely?” Karina looked at you intently and nodded, gently moving her head. “Me too. That’s why I’ll help you. I see reflected in your eyes the same sadness that I feel." That's what it was.

“Y/n” “Tell me” “Do a good job” “I’ll try”

Karina finished all the chips that were left on the table, while you looked at her intently and prayed that the day you would meet Yuna would never come.

Unexpectedly, you received a call the next day: a very familiar voice invited you to participate in a graphic project that involved twenty different photographers who would take pictures of Yuna during a typical month of hers at the beach. Fans are certainly crazy to buy this, but it's all for the career, right?

Your first encounter with Yuna was ordinary. Where normal means you were struck by how tall and beautiful she was, even though Karina had gotten you used to it well. Yuna walked over to you and pulled you into a tight hug. “Y/n, right? I saw some photos of your portfolio and I loved them. The way you capture what's around is extremely sincere. Thank you for accepting. I am eternally grateful”

Yuna was warm. You noticed it immediately. Her body temperature had nothing to do with Karina's. Yuna's smile, moreover, really showed a sincere kindness. The photos you took were delicate, beautiful, and… real. But you remembered what Karina had told you and quickly came to your senses.

You spent two days taking photographs for one of the most beloved women in the world - that's what the charts said - and on the last evening, Yuna and her manager dragged all twenty of you to a pub.

Yuna, clearly drunk, stood up on a chair and started screaming. “Thank you! You were amazing! This project will come out amazing. Now let’s get our glasses up, we have to celebrate!” As everyone downed a few glasses of beer, you noticed a familiar face looking sweetly at Yuna. It was her girlfriend. You asked the boy next to you to switch seats and, perhaps nodding his head, he permitted you.

"Hi, I'm Y/n" "Ah, nice to meet you, I'm Haseul! Yuna showed me your photos. They're beautiful, congratulations" How cute, I almost feel sorry for using her like that. "I see you're looking at Yuna with sweet eyes… Is there something underneath?" the little laugh you let out right after should have helped break the tension, but it only made it grow even more. Haseul wiped the sweat on her pants and then spoke to you.

"I love her more than anyone else in the world" Ah. "It must be nice to love someone" You ran a hand uncomfortably behind your neck. "It's nice to have someone by your side. We're almost always together. I only have her. After what Yuna went through last year, she's become even stronger" A strong curiosity grew in you.

"What happened to her?" "Her ex-girlfriend cheated on her, Yuna found out and told her parents to shoot her an arrow that would cause her the same pain" "That's not possible" "Plus Yuna lost a very important job with Saint Laurent. She spent sleepless nights because of Karin-" Haseul quickly covered her face with her hands.

"Karina. Are you sure it was her fault?" "Ask anyone you want. She lied to everyone and messed up half the plans of people here just to go out and cheat on her girlfriend. Everyone hates her. She's just a pretty face in this industry"

Your head started to spin, maybe from drinking too much alcohol. “I’m going to get some fresh air!” “Shall I accompany you?” “It doesn’t matter, thanks.”

Outside, on the side of an empty road, you threw up next to a dumpster. Karina had been lying to you. She was evil, she was crazy, and a total dickhead. Everyone knew it but you. Because you had been a normal person until the week before. You had seen the surface, never what was underneath.

You understood that Karina would treat you like Yuna. You understood that the only solution would be to refuse, but your career was at stake.

Yuna came out and walked over to you. “I’m sorry you found out. I know everything. Karina isn’t the only one who can spy on people without being accused.” “Do you know everything?” “From the stupid meeting at the fast food restaurant to the job opportunities she offered you. Her dear friend, aka her manager, is Shin Yuna here’s dearest friend.”

You looked into her eyes. “I’ll have to… No, hurt you. I don’t want to.” I wanted to, but now I don’t want to anymore. “It doesn’t matter. Do it.” “How could I?” Haseul came closer to the two of you. “You can’t hurt us. When you find someone in life who loves you, life has a whole different meaning.”

The cold suddenly hit you. And, strangely, you thought for a second that those two were crazy. “Yuna would lose her job,” you continued “But I will never lose the people I love. And anyway,” Yuna put her arm around Haseul’s waist, “I won’t be in this industry for long.”

Haseul looked you in the eyes and smiled. “Don’t worry.”

As you made your way home, your eyes caught the massive posters of Karina that adorned the streets yet, beneath your admiration, a swirl of conflicting emotions surged inside you; you couldn't shake the nagging feeling that she was not only a bit unpredictable but also a master of deception. Despite all that, you felt an undeniable urge to kiss her.

The karaoke seemed more rotten than usual. Karina didn’t seem to belong there at all. The last day, the decisive one, had now arrived. You sat down, like the last time, in front of the raven-haired girl.

“Hi, Y/n. I see you well. How are you?” “Better than you can imagine” “My ears only want to hear good news”

You took her usual bag of chips from her hands and started munching on them. “What do you think of your modeling job?” “I hate it” Karina, to your surprise, answered without even thinking for a second. “Why?” “There is no sincerity in what I do. But it is the only job that puts me in contact with hundreds of people a week. It makes me feel less alone”

You put the chips on the table and took out the incriminating photos. “Yuna and Haneul, as you asked me and here I have,” you took out the USB stick, “the murder weapon!” Karina looked at you with wide eyes. “Did you… Do it?” “Your charm won me over, unfortunately, I have to admit it” Even though You were ironic, Karina's cheeks turned pink.

Karina pulled out a computer without making eye contact with you. Then she ordered you to open it. In front of your eyes was a fairly famous site where you were supposed to upload incriminating photos of Yuna and Haseul.

“Y/n. I have to tell you something" As you wrote the description of the photos you would publish immediately after, you signaled Karina to continue.

“Maybe it's because I haven't felt someone's affection for a long time, maybe it's because I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore without crying but…” “After Karina, after” “You said…” “Let me talk”

Seeing Karina so vulnerable and with teary eyes made you feel guilty, but what you wanted to do you would have done without complaining. Karina, however, seemed ready to let go of everything, to take a decisive step.

“Karina, kiss me” “Why should I do that? Are you crazy?” “Last time you seemed intent on doing much more!” you raised your voice. “If I kiss you it’s only because I want to show you how I feel!”

You both were incredibly close. The intensity of the conversation had drawn you from the karaoke sofas, and now you stood face to face, the air feeling thick between you. Karina was the first to make a move. She reached behind your neck, gripped your hair tightly, and swallowed hard. You didn't want to initiate the kiss; you wanted her to take the lead. And that’s exactly what she did. Karina leaned in and pressed her lips against yours, but the kiss was tentative, almost shy. She clearly wanted you to respond, but you held back. The kiss ended before it truly began.

“Why?” she asked, embarrassed. You, in response, checked your phone and went back to finishing the article on the computer. You connected your phone to the computer and transferred the photos.

“What about the USB stick?” “I’ll give it to you as soon as I’m finished”

Five minutes passed before you closed the computer. The die was cast. And so is your life and Karina's. There was no turning back, in any way.

“Y/n?” “Done” “Good…” Karina grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself. You did the same.

“Why did you lie to me?” “What are you talking about, Y/n? “Tell me the truth. Haseul and Yuna told me everything. I also spoke to other colleagues. All the same version. You’re a liar, Karina.”

Karina looked back at you with a blank stare. “And what are you?” “That’s not the point.” Karina slammed her fist on the table. “From everything they told you, did you only understand that I’m a liar?” “How can I trust you, Karina?”

Karina hugged the blanket and started biting her nails. "You know when I'm lying. You can feel it. You know when I’m not natural. I understood immediately when we met that there was a different connection between us." “Do you say that to everyone?” “You’re not funny, Y/n!” Karina screamed and threw the bag of chips in your direction, making a mess in the room.

“It’s not funny to make fun of people. You used me.” “I didn’t!” “So what did you do, Karina? How would you call what you did?” “I tried to keep you as close as possible… I don’t have anyone. Yuna wanted to leave me and I had sex with someone else the next day! Our relationship was over.” “People can’t love you if you pretend to be someone else.” “Everyone abandoned me. They abandoned me when I pretended to be the sweet and kind Karina and when I was the real Karina!”

Karina seemed to have reached a point of no return, but you could do nothing but pity her. Now you just had to tell her your truth.

“Karina, listen to me. Yuna got what she got because she moved on and recognized that love can be found anywhere. Her career is worth a thousand times more than a career like yours that was built on pain. Just forget about this life. Start over again." “The only one I have is my manager. I have no ambitions, I have no love. I just wanted someone to feel the way I do.” “We all fight for something, Karina! I fight for photography and you’ve been fighting against yourself for too long!”

Karina seemed to be furious. “You don’t understand. I’ve been alone all my life! The only one who’s close to me is my manag-” “No, he’s Yuna’s informant. When he handed me the ticket for Vogue, I immediately understood that he was not on your side, Karina”

“Karina” “I hate you. Will you stop throwing the truth in my face? I know, damn, I know I’m alone. I've never gotten along well with anyone. But with you, I had a good time. Time never seemed to end. You’ll abandon me too. You all do the same when I show you how I am”

You turned the computer towards her. “Karina, I posted the photos. Look at them. First, breathe and then rationalize” Karina did as you said, too vulnerable to go against you.

When she saw the article with the photo of you she couldn’t say a word. She just asked you, in a weak voice, why you did it. “We can start over, Karina. They already had everything. In their eyes, I saw what was missing in ours. Rise from the ashes Karina or die forever, it would make more sense than continuing to pretend to live in someone else’s body”

You got up from the room, knowing that the news with the photo of you and Karina kissing would do more harm to her than to you. You shut the door behind you. You turned around. Outside you waited for Karina, hoping she would come out so you could comfort her. But that didn’t happen.

The news caused a scandal. The billboards with Karina disappeared, her role as the lead actress in that new movie was deleted and for more than a month, all anyone talked about was that photo. No one recognized your face; next to Karina, you looked quite bad. Yuna called you and guaranteed that your name and work would remain in the photo book. The Vogue photos were never published. You stuck them up, with Sunwoo’s help, in the fast food restaurant.

Sometimes someone stopped to observe them and Sunwoo took care of answering their questions. Very naturally, he said that Karina loved coming to this fast food restaurant - before it disappeared - and that you were her favorite.

Six months had gone by, yet the ache in your chest refused to fade, a constant reminder of the unresolved feelings haunting you. Each night, you lay alone in bed, tears soaking your pillow, knowing that no one would come to comfort you—and that no one would offer her the same kindness. In those haunting hours, you grappled with memories and regrets, feeling the weight of your sorrow pressing down on you like a heavy shroud.

“What a beautiful day! Life has never been so beautiful!” “Sunwoo, it’s just your first role in a stupid TV series” “A stupid TV series that you’ll watch!”

You and Sunwoo had become great workmates again. This time, you were the one who requested more hours, and Sunwoo, despite having found a second job, had decided to work alongside you in each of them.

Sometimes you look at the street illuminated by the street lamps. You hadn't been able to move on. After Yuna’s photobook came out, your name appeared on many other projects. You had started working with many more idols. But there was no one like her.

“Still thinking about it?” “My mind is occupied with her, Sunwoo” “You couldn’t contact her?” “No one has her number and no one has been close to her. At least I know she’s not dead” “Yeah…”

It was four in the morning on a random Thursday when a black car pulled up on the road and parked in front of the fast food restaurant. Sunwoo let out a scream and hid behind the counter. “Is that the police? What have you done, Y/n?” “Stop it, you idiot, and get the emergency number ready. You never know”

But a woman with blonde hair, no makeup, and wearing a sweatshirt that looked very expensive, stepped out of the car. At first, you and Sunwoo couldn’t figure out who she was, you could only guess that she was extremely attractive from the way she walked.

When the first light from the fast food restaurant hit her face, Karina revealed herself to you with a shy smile. “Sunwoo…” she waved at the boy. “And well… Y/n… How are you doing?”

Sunwoo let out another scream. This time you did the same. Then you started to cry, unable to control your emotions. Karina threw herself at you and hugged you with teary eyes. After you both calmed down, Sunwoo fried you two large portions of fries and left the place for a moment, pretending to have received a call.

“Y/n. I look at you…” “Terribly, terribly” “Yes, well. You’ve lost weight” You squeezed her hands tightly. Warm tears fell onto Karina's white hands.

“Sorry” “Stop it, it’s okay. Look at me” Karina took your face in her hands and forced you to look at her. Then she continued to speak. “It had to be this way. I was reborn from the ashes, okay? But I want you to do the same. Let’s help each other. We’ve been alone for too long and…”

Karina stopped to look at the road, her eyes shining. “I missed you. The real you is so annoying, sexy, and cute at the same time. I'm happy to hear you're well."

Karina then looked back at you and looked at the palms of your hands. “Come with me. I'm full of money. Let's run away from here, let's go where no one knows us" "Karina" "It doesn't matter if you tell me now. You destroyed my previous life though! I expect you to pick up the broken pieces and put them back together"

She made you laugh and you thanked fate for having met her. You gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek. Karina looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Are you just kissing me back?” “Karina, there’s a time for everything” “You know, Y/n, I have a few things I need to tell you about myself. Did you know that I especially love dark chocolate and hate milk chocolate?”

“Karina,” you stood up from the stool and locked your eyes with his. "Tell me, Y/n" “We have all the time to learn to love each other” “And we have all the time to learn to live”

Sunwoo burst into the fast food restaurant, his eyes glistening with tears of joy. He couldn’t contain his excitement as he shared the incredible news: he had secured a role in a film directed by a renowned filmmaker. The moment was electric, filled with laughter and heartfelt congratulations as you both celebrated his achievement. Before leaving this familiar place, you and Karina decided to capture the memory with a photo at the very spot where your journey had begun. As the camera clicked, you were acutely aware that this moment marked a turning point. You stood there, smiling and cherishing the memory, knowing deep down that you were ready to embrace the future and leave the past behind, resolutely moving forward without looking back.

[feytouched]

people who question mark ping me / flame me in chat when playing league because i'm bad and new to the game literally could never be as pretty or as graceful as i am nor have a gorgeous bf like me or ever make their parents proud btw. it's rlly sad for them so i forgive them for being toxic bc i have the heart of a beautiful dove even when my screen is grey and i'm 0/8 🩶

[thegreatstoryteller]

The Great Shift: Turning 30

The Great shift was a huge time in many people’s lives. Especially those with birthdays who fell around the time of the great shift. Some turning 18, others turning 80! But still others had their hearts set on a time in their life that was quite pivotal. However, because of the shift some may have to wait a little longer to reach that milestone, while others have jumped leaps and bounds beyond it!

Harvey Singh (30 years old)

Fuuuck my head… and my clothes apparently. Damn. This is not what I imagined turning 30 would be like! 

Before the world went insane, I was so close! The damn great shift just had to happen right before my birthday. I was working at this law firm, a pretty shady place at first. Lots of scummy people taking advantage of others, but my boss was trying to turn it around! We kicked out those idiots who were causing trouble, got them arrested! I was gonna get promoted and help lead the charge for helping others… but not anymore.

The great shift landed me inside of Skyler Marlo! 18 year old quarterback for the local university. And right after a big party too. I couldn’t find a stitch of clothes to fit my new larger body. I was really lucky this frat house I woke up in had a towel nearby. But that was just the beginning of my nightmare. 

You see that smile of distress? Yeah that’s me. Instead of writing briefs and taking on clients in need, I’m here on the football field. Apparently after the upheaval the shift caused people are having trouble verifying identities and gaining access to their property/funds. That’s totally something I could be helping with! Instead I'm stuck back in the life of a teenager again. I wasn't a big fan of 18 last time I was in college.

The only thing that could get me after the shift was taking on this guy’s college scholarship. It gives me a place to stay and access to their college library, but I had to join the college football team. Some organizations like college athletics don’t seem to care who is shifted or not! As long as they got the players they need to draw in a crowd, they seemed perfectly content letting anyone play. Though who can blame them. If they saw me before I doubt they’d want some angry short king running their drills. No… now I’m not the 5’0 Indian guy who got overlooked in school. I look the picture of boy next door prom king that rules the college. 6’2, 195lbs of lean muscle, and size 15 feet. That last one took awhile to get used to! Finding cleats that size was the hardest part of this change. 

So here I am, sweating it out day after day to maintain my scholarship, while I wait for the day I’m recertified with my state’s bar! Once I’m a lawyer again I swear I’ll help out others like me forced to cling on to new lives while the system sorts things out. It sucks having to practice every day and do all these drills and grunt work! The college even has me posing for their promotional material to draw in bigger crowds at the game! Who would want this kind of life?!

Then again… it’s already been a few months… I may as well get used to college life… I was a nerdy brown kid my last run in college, mostly studying and doing what my parents wanted… now at least I can get a look at how the athletes lived… That frat did ask me if I wanted to join… I guess it couldn’t hurt to have a little fun while I wait to get my life back.

After all, I do get pretty excited after an intense practice, and judging by some of the looks from my teammates, I may not be the only one eager to get to know my new body better. 

Phil Inver (30 years old)

People need to learn how to relax. I don’t know what the big deal is. So a bunch of people swapped bodies. What’s there to worry about? See me? I don’t have a care in the world. When I was turning 30 doctors told me I was overweight and at risk of diabetes, my work would always be on me for not applying myself, and my girlfriend said I was always too lazy in our relationship! 

But my mindset since the shift hasn’t changed! It landed me in this nice smooth and lean body! I’m glad that this guy kept in such good shape. Having actual abs is insane! Same for these toned arms! I’m not sure if he’s the shaving kinda guy or if he’s naturally smooth, but it sure as hell beats taking care of an unruly beard and body hair!

Turns out now that I look like this people are a bit more receptive to my ideals! Doctors say my heart is as healthy as a horse! Says my stress free lifestyle is a large part of that! My work? They now say my chill attitude makes things a lot more zen around the office. Guess they don’t care I don’t get too much done whenever I flash them a smile. And my girlfriend… or my boyfriend as he goes by now, certainly thinks I’m taking an active role in the bedroom. Who knew that my new stud of a boyfriend had a thing for Asian guys!?

So what am I gonna do now? Listen to music, chill as my boyfriend showers, and wait out the day as normal. Sure I’m turning 30, but it’s just another day in paradise for me! Oh what’s that? This body is only 21? Even better! I’ve got plenty of time to relax before I turn 30.

Devon Lin (30 years old)

So I was a bit nervous about turning 30. I feel like I haven’t really done all the things I wanted… and all my friends were joking saying it’s all downhill after that. I wasn’t dealing the best with the stress… Well like it or not the shift had me face that hurdle a few year further than I expected.

And I gotta say. It’s not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Sure I’m a bit older, but hell  I look a hell of a lot more manly! Could it be that the shift landed me in a handsome 37 year old with a built body, tan skin,  and perfect beard? Maybe… but hey. Age is just a mindset… but these muscles sure aren’t! Boom!

You like that? So do the guys at the bar! They keep insisting I don’t shave my chest or pit hair too. I think I could pull off that look. That being said, I think anything looks good on a 6’5 stud like me. Tall, dark, and handsome all the way!

Before I would jump around from job to job. Bartender, janitor, waiter, and housekeeper, but lately I’ve found my job as a bouncer at the local bar a lot more rewarding. You’d be surprised how many fights stop once I take my shirt off and start playing pool with the patrons. I’ve won nearly every game of billiards I’ve played! Though I have the sneaking suspicion it may be due to the guys staring more at me than the balls.

Guess that’s one of the benefits to working at a chill gay bar! You know, I was always a bit insecure about my body and experimenting sexually. Being a shorter gay man with a chip on his shoulder would do that to you. Now… well let’s just say now I feel like I’ve got a lot more confidence! I may have missed my 30th birthday, but I think I know how I’m gonna spend my 38th!

Marcus Garcia (30 years old)

They say when you get older you begin to value things differently. Honestly I didn’t know what to expect when I turned 30. Was I supposed to be wiser all of a sudden? Have a plan for things? In truth plenty of people younger than me had their life together compared to me. Partners. Kids. A stable job. A house.

In short. I thought I had more time. But we don’t always get to choose how fast life comes at us. I mean look at me. Didn’t expect the shift to make me 55.

Losing 25 years of my life was definitely not the easiest. The great shift nearly tears the world apart and I’m running for my life looking like retirement is right around the corner. That first day was definitely a wake up call that I did not have the same stamina that I used to. In that opening week of the shift I was pretty much running on adrenaline and coffee wherever I could get it. I took lots of naps just to stay sane. 

As the days went on and society slowly readjusted to some version of normal, I began to actually have time to look at my body. I mean I was a pretty skinny guy before, my sister would always say I needed to workout more. But I guess all it took was 25 years of my life to finally get in shape. 

Not only that, but I’m admiring the body hair. This guy was a pretty hairy dude. The salt and pepper stubble had guys starting me daddy at the gay bars, while the chest hair was still dark like my eyebrows and made my impressive physique pop. 

My feet were pretty big too. Size 14! Twice as big as my old feet, but just as hard to find shoes my size. 

Needless to say there were highs and lows to my new life. Was I happy that i was 6’6 now? Sure! Loved being tall and nearly bonking my head on doorframes. Was I upset lots of my joints were sore and that I could only take my coffee black to avoid dairy and sugar? No… that sucked. I liked my sweet drinks and I missed not waking up in pain.

Omar LeRon was a guy that lived along my street. He was a single dad raising his 5 year old, all at the age of 45.

I later learned he had a few wild days in his early 40s that lead to Omar Jr. And now in his mid 20s again he’s glad he could be more present for his son! Even if his son is the same age as him now.

He told me all of this one day when we both left our house for a jog. He found that doing some running in his new body helped him vent some much needed energy from his body, while I needed to do something physical if I was to have any hope of maintaining healthy workout routines for mine! 

Needles to say he offered some words of wisdom growing up and it really helped put some things in perspective. Meanwhile, I gave him some tips about helping his son. Turns out all those years working at my aunt’s day care counted for something, even for post shifted kids!

Our conversations started as friendly advice and then grew into more! Talks became dates. Dates became moving in. Moving in became an engagement! Now a few years after the wedding I guess you truly can call me a daddy now. Jr. sure does. He’s doing great in school and is looking forward to next week when my sister is gonna watch him for the summer.

My husband and I are gonna take our first real vacation since the great shift! We’re looking forward to it! We’ll be celebrating Omar’s 30th birthday in his new body now! He keeps making jokes saying, “Well I’ve done it before. Nothing to it the second time around.” And “Well here I thought your 30th birthday was extreme. I doubt I could top that”

He also never stops teasing me about how he loves being married to an older man and that I’m not as young as I used to be. We know it’s all in good fun. I mean, I can still keep up with him in the bedroom, where it counts… as long as he gives me a few minutes to recover after. Young guys like him are insatiable. I’ll try to power through though. After all, you only turn “30” once.

[bridenore]

HD Party Games fic recs

Here are a few drarry fic recs in which party games play an important part. Listed in alphabetical order, as always.

Back to You by @aibidil & daisymondays [8k]

The eighth years make Harry and Malfoy go head to head and back to back in a question-and-answer drinking game. The worst that can happen is they end up drunk, right?

Boom Clap (The Sound of My Heart) by @femmequixotic and @noeeon [39k]

Post-war Hogwarts has been energized by its new teaching fellows program. Where once bitter enmity divided the wizarding community, Malfoy and Potter chummily patrol hallways together whilst Granger and Zabini seek lost parts of the castle at McGonagall’s behest and Chang supervises Quidditch when not lecturing in Charms. It’s a veritable wizarding utopia and life is predictable for the first time in years. Which is, of course, when everything blows apart as the result of a drunken dare and Malfoy’s life is ruined beyond his capacity to repair it. Ever. In a million years.

check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous by @lqtraintracks [7k]

Harry's had a crush on Malfoy for months now. But it will take a bar full of his friends, some Firewhisky, wagers made on his behalf, and Malfoy himself to get him to act on it.

Erase the Shame by FleetofShippyShips [6k]

An Inter-House unity party is the last thing Draco wants to go to. It's not long into a game of Truth or Dare when he is reminded why. But maybe his dare is worth it after all.

Exceeds Eggspectations by Elle Gray (LGray) [61k]

Eighth year. Winter. Christmas has been and gone. Harry’s just been dumped and so has Malfoy. There’s a stupid fake baby assignment to be done, and what’s the harm in doing it together, really, when life is this shit already? This is not slow burn, this is a roman candle pointed at a pile of dry twigs that represent your heart.

Games Night by @agentmoppet​ [6k]

Harry has no idea why Hermione decided that an inter-house Games Night would be a good idea, but he’s here now, and he intends to beat Malfoy, no matter what game he chooses. But, who would have thought muggle games could be full of so much... tension?

How to Handle an Enemy by who_la_hoop [7k]

Everyone knows that it’s no fun playing truth or dare with a Slytherin. But add a little Veritaserum, a scheming duo of Slytherin girls and surprising things can be revealed. Particularly about the fine line between love and hate… Turnbout Is Fair Play by who_la_hoop [10k]   After a – cough – revealing game of truth or dare instigated by  his fellow Slytherins, Draco Malfoy finds himself in possession of a).  the interesting knowledge that a certain Gryffindor horror may not be as   immune to his personal charms as hitherto suspected and b). the   password to the Gryffindor Tower. But Draco makes a fundamental error   when he decides to make use of these facts.

Love, Harry by Zzzara [26k]

Harry Potter keeps a huge secret: that scary thing he can’t tell anyone about. Until a mysterious penfriend changes his life, because he keeps a secret, too.

Never Have I Ever Thought That You Might Want Me, Too by @drarrymyheart [8k]

“When it’s his turn, Ron gives Harry an ominous look. “Never have I ever wanted to kiss any of the boys in this room.” Harry freezes. Dean, Seamus, Hermione, Hannah, Pansy, and even Blaise are all immediately lifting their drinks. Malfoy moves to pick his up as well and Harry tracks the movement as if watching in slow-motion…The ridge of Malfoy’s bottle of cider pushes against his lower lip as he takes a sip. Harry nearly groans. Steeling himself, Harry drinks.” Harry and the crew take a ski trip. Harry can’t seem to keep his eyes and thoughts off a certain blonde.

One Night at the Leaky by birdsofshore [41k]

Harry should have known better than to accept a drunken dare. Especially when Malfoy was sitting right there, looking like that and wearing those bloody tight trousers. 

A Perfectly Valid Dare by kitty_fic [5k]

“It’s a perfectly valid dare,” Pansy says, and somehow she looks like she actually believes what she says. “I am not doing that,” Draco insists. He really has no idea when daring someone to wank in Harry Potter’s bed became a perfectly valid dare?

Right Hand Red by @lqtraintracks [73k] 

Harry felt Malfoy’s breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory. Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy. Malfoy felt inevitable.

Silk Scarves and Enchanted Handcuffs by TommyLane [28k]

It was only supposed to be for seven minutes and then the blindfold would come off and he'd be free from the dark cupboard and his mystery partner - only Harry was no longer sure he wanted it to end.

Starts With a Spin by Maxine [119k]

It started with the spin of a bottle, and now Harry and Draco have gotten themselves so far into their own game there's almost no way out again. Except to keep playing.

Truths, Dares, and Love Affairs by @ronbinary [17k]

NEWTs are approaching, Mind Healing is mandatory, and something is wrong with the castle. And then, there’s Potter.

When I Put My Eyes On You by Zzzara [31k]

When a hero defeats a villain, there’s supposed to be a happily-ever-after… but when did anything ever happen to Harry Potter the way it was supposed to? Having sacrificed himself to the greater good, Harry is left alone in the darkness, blindly groping for the shreds of the life he knew. When the enemies meet, how is the story supposed to go, once they learn there’s more to it than the eye can see? A story of pain, hope and things we discover, once we stop looking for them with our eyes.

where all the veins meet by eight_of_wands [146k]

It’s the summer of 1998. The battle is over, and Voldemort is dead, but Harry still has more questions than answers. Who is he without a piece of Voldemort’s soul in his head? What is he supposed to do now? His friends try to help, but the only thing that can hold his attention—one of the only things that ever has—is Draco Malfoy, out on parole and weirdly hanging around the British Museum. As they keep running into each other, Harry sees that Malfoy is different, and he wonders if he can be someone else, too. Featuring rumpled band shirts, poker games everyone hates, fumbling sex, and a Harry going a little mental over how wands even work.

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[lucky-slice]

Do you understand how much kevin respects neil? And i don't mean when it comes to exy, like sure there's a whole lot of you're not good enough followed by you will make court bluh bluh bluh, i mean fundamentally as a human.

Kevin and Neil's conversation after the truth of Neil's father is revealed drives me absolutely insane because I think it highlights a lot about how Kevin views Neil.

so indulge me for a bit....

I think a lot of people forget, in light of Andrew choking Kevin for not telling him the truth, that Kevin's initial reaction was to tell Neil to run.

*sorry for the quality - these are all screenshots off my phone

Kevin's instinct is to tell Neil to save himself, despite what that would mean for the team's success and for Kevin himself. This is significant to me for two reasons.

It highlights that Kevin genuinely cares about Neil outside of his exy potential. For most people, this would be a pretty obvious response to finding out your teammate has a guaranteed death sentence if they stick around, so it might not seem all that meaningful, but Kevin was raised in such an environment were you continued to play no matter what - even at the risk of death. Kevin is unflinchingly callous when it comes to exy and his teammates (*see his reaction to Seth's death), but he is frantic in his concern for Neil in contrast to his fairly passive response to basically anyone else's wellbeing outside of exy. Neil's death will have no real impact on Kevin. If Neil dies or goes to the ravens, nothing changes for Kevin. He is not at a greater risk of being hurt by Riko or the Moriyama's nor will his exy career be effected. That's not to say he would tell Neil to stay if he cared about him any less, but there is a desperation that implies a depth beyond just that of a teammate.

The fact that Kevin is frantic and desperate for Neil to leave, gives weight to his decision to keep teaching Neil in the aftermath of the revelation.

Neil doesn't want to run - he wants to be Neil Josten until the end. He gave Kevin his game and now he's asking him to keep it and Kevin obliges.

This is essentially Kevin promising that he will keep Neil's secret. He will allow Neil to wear his mask and continue teaching him despite the fact that Neil is essentially a dead man walking. This, to me, is Kevin ultimately respecting Neil and his choice. At any moment, Kevin has the ability to got to Wymack or Andrew and give Neil the chance at surviving, but that would mean betraying Neil.

Some people (certainly the foxes) would view refusing Neil's request as the proper and morally correct thing to do. But I think Kevin's immediate acceptance of Neil's decision is both immensely meaningful to Neil and also a signifier of a shared understanding between to two.

Imagine how impactful it must be for Neil, who has never had autonomy over his own life and has been marked for death basically since he was born, to be told that not only will his decisions and his autonomy be respected, but there is someone who will stand by his side on the court, knowing the whole truth, until the very end.

Kevin doesn't have much to offer Neil at this point. He can not give him a future - he'll be long dead before he can ever make court, and Kevin is a coward - he is not andrew, he can't stand up against the Moriyama's or Riko or Neil's father. Kevin can not protect Neil in a way that matters. All he can do is promise to keep Neil's secret and offer him a few more months of being Neil Josten.

I'm not including this to disparage Andrew or to suggest that he does not respect Neil, but this highlights that Kevin knows the decision to keep Neil's secret is one only Kevin would make. Andrew without a doubt would immediately try to get Neil to leave or attempt to get him into protection. I'm not passing a judgement of morality on what would've been the right thing to do, but I do think Kevin's reaction is indicative of the fact that Neil and Kevin understand each other in a way that no one else really will.

Neil and Kevin are a parallel's in a number of ways. Kevin lived the life that Neil was supposed to have and they are two parts of one story.

To them exy is not a game, but it's not really about exy either. It's about deciding to stay just to play for a couple more months even though you'll wind up dead because playing means you finally get to live after years of being a ghost. It's about playing to be the best no matter what, even though the consequences are having your hand smashed and the life you know completely demolished. It's about playing even though you're shaking with fear and anxiety because you need proof that your life, whether it be running to survive or living under an abusive hand, was not a waste.

Kevin agrees to keep Neil's secret because if the roles were reversed, Kevin would like to believe that he'd be strong enough to ask Neil for the same thing. This is obviously conjecture and a heavy heavy reading between the lines, but I'd like to think there's some truth there.

Finishing up with this line because it makes me a little emotional.

Kevin starts the conversation by calling Neil "Nathaniel" and ends it by calling him Neil again. Its right there in the text, "it was a promise". Kevin is offering Neil a life that is fully his - not his father's, not Riko's, but Neil's to do with what he would like, even if its only for a couple more months. If that's not respect, than I don't know what is.

[zegrasdrysdale]

[ aftermath ] t. zegras

paring : Trevor Zegras x fem!reader

summary : (Y/N) helps Trevor deal with Jamie leaving and breaking his ankle all in 24 hours

warning(s) : injury, some angst

author’s note : it’s me. hi. i’m the problem, it’s me

༺═──────────────═༻

She definitely believes in the snowball effect after the last 24 hours of her life. It’s one of the reasons why she’s currently on a flight in the middle of the night to Raleigh to meet her boyfriend’s hockey team at their hotel.

Both her life and Trevor’s life have changed so much in 24 hours. Trevor left with the Ducks for their road trip expecting to have a fun trip. His best friend was finally 21 and could enjoy all that Nashville had to offer.

Then Jamie got the call that no player ever really wants to get from their general manager.

Hours later, he was on a flight to Philly and leaving the Ducks and a distraught Trevor behind in Tennessee.

She should’ve gotten on a plane then and there. Instead, she tempted fate.

The next day was Trevor’s 200th career NHL game, and he had to play it without his best friend on the ice with him. (Y/N) happily watched from their apartment in Anaheim.

Until Trevor went down along the boards after 3 shifts and two minutes total on the ice. She was on her feet as she watched her boyfriend get helped down the tunnel. He wasn’t putting any pressure on his left leg as the trainers helped him.

She blew up his phone with texts and calls until one in the morning California time. He never replied. Then she texted Mason and asked where the Ducks were staying in Raleigh. She booked a flight and asked Mason to get Trevor’s room number when they got there.

Luckily there was a nonstop flight to Raleigh that left from LAX at three that she just barely made. She packed a duffel bag and ran out the door to catch the flight.

After nearly five hours in the air and multiple timezone changes, (Y/N) lands in North Carolina. She left at three in the morning and landed at eleven in the morning. Mason’s text with Trevor’s room number and a he’s cranky comes through as she grabs her duffel from baggage claim.

Honestly, she should’ve gotten on a flight as soon as Trevor told her that Jamie got traded. This is what happens when you tempt fate.

She orders an Uber from the airport to the hotel where Trevor is staying with the Ducks.

Why he traveled with them after getting hurt is beyond her. Maybe it isn’t a long term injury and it’s just a sprain.

Either way, she’s about to find out.

After a ten minute debate with herself, she lightly knocks on Trevor’s door.

It’s a second before the door opens. As soon as it swings open though, her heart breaks at the sight behind it.

Trevor stands on crutches with his ankle wrapped. His eyes are red and puffy and it looks like he hasn’t slept a wink in two days. Honestly, he probably hasn’t.

"Trev," she pouts.

He shakes his head and quickly spins to walk back into the room. She follows him and lets the door shut behind her. "I don't want you here, (Y/N)," he tells her. The voice crack tells her all she needs to know. He does actually need her here.

"I don't care," she replies. "I'm here anyway." Trevor leans the crutches against the middle table and sits on the bed. "You haven't exactly had the best few days so I came to make sure you're okay."

"I'm not fucking okay!" Trevor shouts at her before rubbing his face and running his fingers through his hair to compose himself. "My best friend plays across the damn country now after getting traded out of nowhere and I might have just broken my damn ankle in a milestone game. I'm going to be out for like two months again."

(Y/N) crouches down in front of him and puts her hands on his knees. "I'm sorry, baby," she softly says. "I can't even begin to imagine how you feel right now. I know Jamie's in Philly right now and I know you won't talk to anyone else about how you feel so that's why I'm here. I don't want you to bottle up your feelings."

"It just sucks," Trevor says, voice shaky. "Everything's changing and I don't like it. I'm probably going to have to go to Jamie's and pack his apartment so I can send his stuff to him, especially now that I'm out and won't be able to do anything."

She gets up and sits next to her boyfriend. She grabs one of his hands and holds it on her lap. She rubs the back of her hand with her thumb. Trevor leans over and drops his head to her shoulder. She wraps an arm around his shoulders and plays with his hair.

"I'm here," she whispers. "I don't care if you don't want me here. I'll always be here."

"I know," Trevor replies. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm just frustrated and confused and in pain."

(Y/N) kisses his temple and buries her face in his hair. "It's okay," she says. "You're feeling a lot right now so I don't blame you for anything you say right now. Just know that I'll be here the entire time. As for Jamie, you know he's a phone call away whenever you wanna talk to him. He'll answer every single time you call him."

He nods. "Yeah," he mumbles. "Can we lay down until I meet with the doctor?"

"Of course," she replies. "Whatever you wanna do. What time do you meet with the doctor?"

"Three," Trevor tells her as he gets comfortable. Well, as comfortable as he can since he's hurt. "I have to leave at two."

That's enough time for both of them to take a two hour nap.

She sets her alarm for 1:30 then settles in next to him. She wraps a leg around his waist and rests her head on his forehead while he wraps an arm around her shoulders.

"Thank you for coming," Trevor whispers, his voice tired. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to," she assures him. "Close your eyes for a bit. I'll wake you up when it's time to leave."

He nods and within seconds, his breathing evens out. She smiles and falls asleep herself knowing that Trevor is finally getting some rest.

༺═──────────────═༻

MASTERLIST

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[cruelfeline]

So, for all of y'all who aren't familiar with Dwarf Fortress, I'm going to explain why it's such a phenomenal game.

Dwarf Fortress is a colony simulator that's been developed by two brothers since 2003. A few weeks ago, it finally released on Steam with a UI that even i can understand. It is the grandfather of things like Rimworld and Minecraft.

So what makes it different from all of the other games in the genre? What makes it different is that it simulates a world beyond your colony. A world with gods, monsters, civilizations... a whole history outside of your colony. A real, living world for you to play in.

I can better explain this by showing y'all what happened to my latest fortress. The one that experienced Wereanteater Armageddon.

My dwarves were having a nice time. I'd just figured out how to build instruments and was outfitting the new tavern properly when-

Surprise! Wereanteater.

Said wereanteater eventually turned back into a goblin and ran off-map, but not before infecting some of my dwarves. Which led to... well...

Absolute massacres every month. With more wereanteaters each time. Which eventually led to...

One lone dwarf, haunted by the ghost of one of the many slain, sitting next to the werecorpse of his last companion. They'd fought to the death the moment they'd last transformed, and he was the survivor. But, of course, he couldn't move.

So! That was that. Fortress destroyed, time to move on. I abandoned the fortress and decided to start anew.

But! Where did our wereanteater come from? What was his story?

In Dwarf Fortress, everything has a story.

So before starting a new fortress, I went ahead and checked the Legends mode: the mode that has the whole history of everyone and everything written out for the player to read.

First, I found my fortress' record, and I scanned down to where the deaths began.

There we go... the attack started with a goblin named Azstrog Terrorhymed. Who is that? Why does he turn into a monstrous anteater?

Here he is, in his entry, biting my dwarf. And... actually beating her to death with Sensedterror Explained, which another entry says is a book he wrote. About some sort of horror-pit he had a nightmare about. Huh.

And looking further back, we can see that, about twenty five years before he came to my fortress, he profaned the Abbey of Shafts in a settlement called Gearedopened. Possibly due to having some bad experiences with gambling and false friendships. This resulted in someone called Ngalak cursing him to become a wereanteater every full moon. And who is Ngalak?

Ngalak is apparently a dwarven god associated with caverns and mountains. And also:

Azstrog wasn't the only creature he's cursed with wereform for profanity! There are at least two others potentially running around. So that's... comforting.

And as for Azstrog? His entry says that he settled in the Fair Mines after dooming my fortress. Checking that entry, we find it to be a lair. A lair that now contains a wereanteater. A wereanteater who was once a goblin who seemed down on his luck and, in a moment of forgetting himself, ended up the object of divine wrath. Which in turn led to the violent deaths of about fifty dwarves in the fortress of Knowring twenty five years later!

This is why Dwarf Fortress is so amazing! There are plenty of games that will introduce an obstacle for your characters to face, but how many will ensure that that obstacle had a whole life of his own prior to ever meeting you?

On second thought, I think I'll reclaim Knowring, rather than starting a new fortress. And I'll bury its many dead, take over its workshops, and see if I can find the Fair Mines.

See if I can find Azstrog Terrorhymed again. See if he's still alive, or if he's met his end one way or another.

But first: time to build dozens of tombs!

[jujutsutrash]

It is October, and you know what that means! Maria gets to commit a war crime as a birthday gift. Honestly, on the list of things nobody asked for I'm pretty sure smut with Kenjaku is like way up there, but it's my birthday (at the end of the month) and I get to chose the war crime!

Kenjaku x Reader. 1.3k words NSFW, minors leave. tw for: dubcon, manipulation, Kenjaku's stitches snapping, brain fluid, a little bit of the brain too

When Kenjaku took over Geto's body he kept the cult, at least for a while. they were an useful logistical asset and source of income - something even he needed from time to time. he was still living amongst normal humans, inhabiting flesh. there would always be some material needs that were an unescapable reality.

Kenjaku himself didn't really care for those things, he was an existence beyond just human by this point. but while the bodies he inhabited were technically dead, while he gave continuity to their existence, they still had needs. itches to be scratched. some boring and a chore, but others fun and enjoyable to indulge in.

He prized himself in living life fully, afterall, and some of those itches were delightful parts of a life fully lived.

And that's how Kenjaku found himself watching you when you weren't looking. eyes following your form from dark hallways and tall windows. you were a part of Suguru Geto's old group. a pretty thing, a sorcerer, not especially powerful but good with barriers and very devoted. devoted and smitten with him.

Well, smitten with Geto.

But this was not Geto. not anymore, though you were still blissfully unaware of that. sure, you found the stitches across his forehead strange, everyone did, but Kenjaku was good at imitating the original personality of his host body. and anyone still alive in Geto's little group was already primed to believe whatever their leader said.

So you accepted every excuse, went along with the charade, followed him around faithfully. it was cute, really, almost like a puppy following it's owner. a devotion you don't come accross very often nowadays. you enjoyed every once of attention he gave you, ate up every crumb of affection.

Kenjaku enjoyed it, he found it fun, like a silly little game. he had you wrapped around his finger and even he wasn't beyond seeing the appeal of toying with someone like that. sure, he could just take what he wanted, but that would be all business and no play, boring. so he kept leading you around on a long, long leash until he found it was time to close the gap.

Slowly he began cornering you in situations where he would be so close. so affectionate. physical, even. like a mockingbird, Kenjaku speaks and even smiles in a mimicry of Geto's kind demeanor. he tucks your hair behind your ear with a gentle touch, caresses your face softly at random moments, holds your hand in his warm one when no one is around. and you fall for it, like easy prey.

Soon enough he has you alone in an empty room, body pressed against his as you sit on a table. you were completly nude before him while he still had his kimono and the innermost layer of his robes on, having discarded his pants and outermost layers. his clothes hung open on his body, but they still shielded most of it. this was good for Kenjaku, your full nakedness brought another layer of vulnerability to your situation that he enjoyed throughfully.

It doesn't take much take much for you to give into him, just a few soft words and a little bit of pressure and you already bend. you'd do anything for Geto anyway, so he might as well just hitch a ride on all of that devotion. who is him to burst your bubble? it's a small merciful lie, letting you believe it's your dearest cult leader burying his cock into your pussy instead of Kenjaku. out of sight out of mind, as they say.

So he fucks himself into you under the cover of that silly lie, going deep and hard, taking your body for his pleasure. he abuses your mouth and takes your body for his pleasure, slamming into your pussy mercilessly until tears are spilling from your eyes. Kenjaku finds your tears to be alluring, your whines of 'too much' so enticing, urging him to move faster and harder.

He likes the touch of sweaty skin, the broken sounds, the trembling bodies. you are clawing at his back and neck and Kenjaku laughs at just how weak you feel under him, pussy clenching tight with your every pitiful cry. you bury your hand in his long hair making him hiss when you grip him. oh, that's almost dangerous, the stitches around his forehead still too fresh for this type of rough treatment - but this could be fun.

Kenjaku groans as he feels pleasure building higher, hips moving faster and deeper into you. you've got bite marks and hickeys all over your chest and neck, and he is sure you'll have bruises on the shape of his fingers all over your body. you are crying and shaking in pleasure, so clearly overwhelmed as his tongue pushes its way into your mouth. the hand on his hair pulls harder, fingers treading on his locks when you give it a harsh tug, making the stitches on his head start snapping.

It all happens fast, the snapping of the stitches, the separating of the skin. at first not much, just enough for liquid to start to flow down his face while he thrusts hard into you. but soon it changes, more liquid spilling down his mouth and into yours, his hips never stopping their vicious hammering. that's when you notice something is wrong, the strange liquid coating your tongue and feeling wet on your face.

You don't even scream, only emitting a high pitched whine in therror when you look up at what you think is Geto. your eyes meet the gap between the two pieces of his skull from where you are pulling at the scalp, Kenjaku's undone stitches leaving a large open gap, brain visible underneath. you freeze, and he just finds it more endearing, having no mercy as he keeps fucking into you faster and faster. the fear and confusion in your eyes only make him feel closer to his orgasm.

"w-what are you?" you whimper, too weak to even properly protest against him, both hands drpping to his arms.

"what do you mean," Kenjaku says with a smile, "it's me, your dear Suguru, what's wrong, sweetheart?" he whispers against your ear.

"what's going on," you cry out, swiping your fingers over the liquid dripping in your face, and he coos at how pitiful it sounds.

"shhhh, dear, what's gotten into you," he sushes you softly, but the pistoning of his hips doesn't match the gentleness of his voice. "hold still, I'm almost there."

You are shaking, glancing between your fingers and the gash on his hand. he can't tell if your whimpering and whining is from his abuse of your pussy or from the sight you've just had - but it doesn't matter anyways, the sweet sounds pushing him over the edge either way. Kenjaku buries himself deep in you, pulling your body flush against his as he paints your walls white with his thick cum. you cry out when he pulls your body into his forcefully but that's the measure of your protest, otherwise you just take what he gives.

When he looks back at you, the mimicry of a soft smile painted on his, he finds you still wide eyed and confused. yeah, Kenjaku can imagine that this is one hell of a way to find you the truth. he licks a spot of the liquid that dropped on your face, shushing you gently as he pulls out, your pussy gaping from his abuse and leaking his thick seed. he looks back at you, smiling wide and already redoing the stitches on his head. You look up at him so confused, so vulnerable - it's adorable. maybe he should try to find a way to keep you around.

[saintlucretia]

Melancholy Of a Sinner

Pairings: James Patrick March x Female!Reader

Warnings: Smoking. Alcohol. Mentions of murder. Blood. Killings. Hurt/Comfort. Mr. March.

Summary: Y/N was once James's protege, but got killed by John Lowe.

A/N: I have no idea what is this actually. I'm very unsure about this. Summer vibes yay.

Life became something beyond reality. It was past. Past that faded. Like a fever dream. Something that felt real but wasn't anymore. Cold limbs and infinite longing.

There was no point in food because my tongue had no taste. Fruits weren't sweet, meat wasn't fresh, it all felt dead as well. Maybe that's because I put food in a dead mouth.

Alcohol made my blood colder and sometimes it felt easier to breathe after two glasses of absinthe. But it was probably my imagination. 

A few months have passed since my throat was slit. I still feel it sometimes. Cold and rough blade against my skin. Warm and sticky blood on my chest. Smooth and strong hands gripping my shoulders. Nobody could know that John Lowe would get off his bonkers for no fucking reason. Maybe he really believed that I was one of the greatest sinners, who deserved death. Maybe he wanted to be the only protege that Mr. March had. It doesn’t really matter now. I guess they call it the wrong place, the wrong time. 

There was little to do at Cortez. The hotel was dying. The only exciting activity here was killing newcomers, but I quickly got bored of it. Killings made sense when I was alive. Now it was just a childish game. Besides, there was no point in getting this place even more crowded.

It was approximately midday. I was walking through a dimly lit hall, passing guest rooms. The carpet made slurping sounds under my shoes, it probably was someone's blood. I pulled out a pack of Lucky Strikes. Nicotine didn't work on my body either, but I liked the habit. I held a cigarette between my lips and tried to light it. The lighter was out. Damn it.

“Let me help.” A deep voice with an almost comical old American accent. In a second a hand was brought to my cheek and lit my cigarette.

I took a deep drag and exhaled a cloud of smoke. 

“Thank you.” 

“My pleasure, darling.” March chuckled. “Mind my company? Or do you have plans?”

I could see the amusement in his eyes. He found sick pleasure in teasing. Nobody here ever had any plans. We were just walking through the halls and spontaneously murdering poor fellows who came across.

“Stay if you want,” I muttered, exhaling smoke.

“You look like you need a drink,” He said playfully.

“Really?” I asked sarcastically. 

I brought the cigarette to my lips again and took another drag.

“Dearest, believe me, a few glasses of the finest wine from my collection, and all your worries will fade away.” James smiled.

I sighed.

“Lead the way.” I took him by the hand. 

We slowly walked to his chambers. It was summer. The sun dimly penetrated the threadbare curtains in the hallway. Guests probably were crowding LA beaches. Well, guests that managed to stay alive.

“How long have you been dead already? A hundred years?” I asked and my voice echoed from the walls.

“Something around that number. I see no need in counting. Why so curious?”

“It’s hard to cope with the thought that I am going to suffer for eternity.” 

We turned around the corner.

“My, my, such dread thoughts in such a pretty head. Why do you see this as eternal suffering, when it could be an eternal delight?” He sounded amused.

“You can’t be serious.” I sighed. 

He chuckled.

"Darling, but imagine the possibilities. You can do whatever your heart desires without worrying about the consequences." James opened the door to his room, letting me go first. "Please, come in.”

The room was dark aside from the light seeping through the curtains, casting a dim glow over the interior. A sense of unreality hovered over the scene, as though the shadows and half-light were playing tricks on my eyes. I have never been here in the daytime. Of course, I have visited room 64 hundreds of times, but it usually was a night business meeting, where we discussed killing plans that I was going to commit. In the daylight it all was different.

"Please, have a seat." He gestured towards the plush armchair beside the bed.

The carpet made a soft sound as James walked over to the small, elegant bar in the corner of the room. The dim light cast strange shadows over the shelves and the various array of bottles, making the place look even more sinister, yet oddly comforting. I sat in the armchair.

He opened one of the cabinets and started to look through his collection of wines.

"Cabernet? Pinotage? Or perhaps a good old classic Bordeaux would be to your liking, darling?" He smirked and took a look at me over his shoulder.

“Your taste,” I answered nonchalantly, looking at the curtained window.

"Glad that you trust me that much." He teased.

James picked up a bottle and took out two crystal glasses. He poured the wine and walked back.

"Only because I don’t care anymore if you poisoned my drink." I chuckled. 

He gave me one glass and sat on the bed, in front of me.

“Nonsense, darling.” He laughed, swirling the dark liquid around the glass for a moment, and took a sip. “Poison is vulgar. I’d rather stab you.” 

“Vulgar?” I laughed, tasting alcohol on my tongue. 

March smiled, his dark eyes glinting in the dim light. 

"Poison is rather a cowardly method, you should admit this," he said, his eyes never leaving mine. "Stabbing, on the other hand, there is an art in that.”

“I almost managed to forget how sick you are.” I smiled, crossing my legs. 

“Careful, darling. I have a weakness for pretty women with sharp tongues.” He set his glass on the bedside table. “And talking about ‘sick’, my dear,” he said, his tone light and playful, “you have a glint in your eye that suggests you are not entirely repulsed by the idea of being stabbed by me. Not to mention you also find murder entertaining.”  

“Don’t put your perverse fantasies on me, March.” 

He smiled.

“I got a bit carried away, didn’t I?” 

"Oh, just a touch." I chuckled, taking another sip of wine.

“You know, it’s good to have someone with whom I can discuss my… little hobby.”

“Our hobby.” I corrected him. “Even though I am kind of retired.”

He chuckled. I could see him looking at me, studying my every move. I could feel his eyes wandering across my neck, the scar that I didn’t care to cover, my collarbones, and the exposed part of my chest. I was used to men looking at me like I was a piece of meat. But his gaze was different. Gaze of a gentleman, God forbid.

"You know, people call it morbid, but I like to think of it as... artistic.” He said, his voice low, almost whispering. James leaned forward, his hands resting on his own knees. "There is something so... intimate about it, don’t you think? Taking someone’s life."

“Twisted perspective,” I said, lighting another cigarette with matches that were on the bedside table. 

March leaned back, a sly smile playing on his lips as he took a sip of his wine.

"Perhaps." He set the glass back. “But tell me, love, aren't we all twisted in our own way? You, me, and everyone who has ever stepped foot in Cortez."

I chuckled softly at his statement, the smoke curling up towards the ceiling. 

"I suppose you’re right. I think I lost my grip on 'normal' long ago." 

I took a drag, holding the cigarette with my fingers, and looked out the window. It became lighter as the sun was starting to peek past the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room.

“I am glad that you died,” he said quietly.

I looked at him puzzled, my hand frozen holding the cigarette between my fingers.

"Is this your strange attempt to comfort me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. “Because I thought I was an extension of your career.”

March chuckled at my question, rosing slowly and towering over me beside the armchair. He reached out and gently traced the scar along my neck. 

“You were way more than that, darling.” He said, his fingers tracing the rough skin where the blade cut my throat.

My breath hitched slightly as his cold fingers brushed over my skin. The touch felt almost intimate. 

"Enough lies, I was nothing more than just a toy soldier on your board game," I said, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

"Maybe in some way you were, but I would never compare you to a pawn though." He said, his fingers tracing lower and stopping on my collarbones. 

The sun was shining in stripes between the curtains, falling over the bed and over his face, lighting up the dark irises of his eyes. 

"You always had the makings of a queen." He took my hand and left a light kiss on my knuckles.

"And I thought The Countess was supposed to play this role," I mumbled nonchalantly, taking a drag of my cigarette and averting my eyes from his gaze.

I sensed his discomfort as I mentioned her. James leaned in, his face dangerously close to mine. He took the cigarette from my fingers and brought it to his lips, taking a long drag. He exhaled a cloud of smoke in my direction. “Darling, you know very well that she is nothing more than a part of my past.”

“How touching,” I commented.

March raised an eyebrow at my sarcasm. He took another drag from my cigarette, his eyes never leaving my face. 

"You’ve never seemed to be jealous, darling, and now I hear bitterness in your voice. What has changed?" 

He took his glass of wine and swirled the liquid around, watching it slosh inside of the goblet. I sighed, leaned back in the armchair, and pressed the cold crystal of my empty glass to my forehead. 

"Don't tell me you have grown fond of me." He whispered, his tone slightly mocking.

I let my head fall back on the back of the armchair, my eyes gazing aimlessly at the ceiling. The shadows from the curtains danced across the wall, a constant reminder of our ghostly existence. Maybe I deserved suffering. All murderers do, don't they?

I forced myself to chuckle. "Don't flatter yourself. Your change of attitude merely amuses me." I replied. 

I watched him take another drag of my cigarette, the smoke curling around his face. I couldn't help but think how he looked like a fallen angel. A damn handsome one. I always admired him. He was my mentor, he taught me everything I knew. Sometimes I looked up at him like he was my God. After all, I had no one except him.

I watched his dark eyes, trying to decipher what he was thinking. 

"You seem distracted," March said, his eyes scanning my face. 

My hands were shaking. Damn, I needed a cigarette. I looked up at him. Without a word, he handed me the cigarette. His fingers brushed against mine fleetingly as I took it. I exhaled a shaky breath and brought it to my lips. The familiar smell of tobacco filled my lungs as I inhaled deeply.

"Tsk-tsk, darling, you look like a junkie craving their dosage." He said in a condescending tone.

“So what?”

“Cigarettes will not give you what you are craving.” his voice low.

"And what am I craving then, oh, wise one?" I retorted, taking another drag of my cigarette. 

March chuckled, sitting back on the edge of the bed. He knew that I depended on him and his opinion. And he used that.

"You and I both have never had a normal life." He said. “You crave peace.”

"And what makes you say that?" I snapped. I inhaled another lungful of smoke and exhaled it out angrily. "You don't know what I want or need." 

March chuckled. 

"Oh, love, I know exactly what you need," he said. His voice was velvety. “I met you as a scared little girl and now you are a strong and independent woman. I know you very well. I practically made you who you are right now.”

I scowled at his last words. My fingers tightened around the cigarette, knuckles turning white.

"It was easy to manipulate the little girl." I snapped, my tone cold and harsh. “But you can’t do this now.”

March just sat there, his eyes fixed on me, that damn smirk still present in his expression. Like he was enjoying my anger. He was stronger. I felt my eyes treacherously filling with tears. 

James got up and approached me, towering over me with his tall stature. “Shh, little girl.” He took the cigarette from my shaky fingers, put it in the ashtray, and pressed me against his chest, his arms wrapping around my frame.

I buried my face in his chest, trying to hide the tears that quietly rolled down my cheeks. My body trembled slightly. I wasn't the type to get hysterical. At least, not one of those who become hysterical while crying.

"I thought I was over this," I whispered, my voice barely above a faint. “I don’t want to be dead. I don’t want to be alone.”

March didn't say anything. He just held me there, one hand holding me against him, the other caressing my hair. I couldn't deny how good it felt to be held like that. Like I was something precious. I closed my eyes, my fingers digging into the fabric of James's shirt. His lips pressed against my hair, and he inhaled the scent of it.

“You can handle it. You are a strong girl,” he whispered. “You always were. That’s why I picked you.”

I hated myself for being so vulnerable. Especially in front of James March. Disgrace for a killer. I have always known that I could never be greater than him. But now I probably don’t even deserve a place at The Devil’s Night.

I looked up at him. “I'm sorry for disappointing you.” 

March shook his head, a flicker of something uncertain passing through his eyes. 

"You never disappoint me, darling," he said. 

James cupped my face gently in his hands and brushed the remaining tears away from my cheeks with his thumbs.  

"You committed six murders, being only twenty years old, dear. I am very proud of what you have become.” He smiled gently. 

I leaned my cheek into his warm palm, taking a ragged breath. “I shouldn’t have cried in front of you,” I whispered, my voice hoarse.

“There is nothing to be ashamed of, dear. I’ve always known that you are sensitive underneath your strength,” He gently stroked my hair. “That’s why I decided that it would be better for you to stay here with me.” 

I froze. “What do you mean?”

“You must understand, I couldn’t let you die anywhere else.” He pulled me closer, his thumb brushing against my bottom lip. “So our friend John just helped me with this problem. But it's okay now, you don't have to worry.”

I felt like my heart died once again.

“No.” I pulled away from him in fear. “No no no. You couldn’t-”

“I could.” He grabbed my wrists firmly, holding me in place. "And I did." 

“You ordered him to finish me?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

“Darling.” He cupped my cheek gently. His voice quickly changed back to soothing.

I grabbed an empty glass from the bedside table and smashed it on the edge of the table. The remained part of the crystal glass was sharp enough and in a second I stabbed it into James’s throat. 

Blood gushed out of the wound, staining his shirt a dark color. March staggered and fell onto the floor with a gasp. His hands clutched at the wound on the neck. I stumbled back, staring at the image in front of me. The glass shattered into a million pieces. They glittered like little diamonds against the dark carpet. His blood slowly drowned little crystals.

I stood there watching him dying, knowing that he would return in seconds. I pulled out another cigarette and lighted it. 

“Feel better now?” I heard his voice behind me. 

I shrugged, inhaling the tobacco from the cigarette and exhaling it out. I didn't look back at him.

"A little bit," I answered.

“You have an eternity to forgive me, darling." I felt his hands on my shoulders. “And you know that I can wait.”

I stayed silent for a moment, taking another puff from my cigarette.

"I'm not sure if forever is enough," I muttered.

“I'll always be there anyway,” he said and I felt his lips on my cheek. “I love you.”

One single tear silently rolled down my cheek and disappeared under my chin. Probably I loved him too.

[ronearoundblindly]

Hi Ro! I know I'm late to this party, but can I get B and F for Steve?

Thank you! 💜

Never too late, darling! This is tumblr, not a job 😁

This one got away with me. It got weirdly sappy for the categories asked, but I went with general Steve from no particular universe here, plus a nondescript part of the timeline or beyond, could even kinda be AU--if you squint--except Steve is definitely famous in some capacity and was small when young. (I just think he happens to look very cuff-able in this gif so we roll with it.)

These dirty asks from this game are aptly titled, so MINORS DNI.

B - Bondage

He can't exactly be tied up, not by anything commercially available, but Steve surprisingly likes the chance to sit still, take a backseat, and enjoy experiencing your enjoyment. He used to be so small. He assumed he'd never have the power he does now.

The restraints, as useless as they are, work as a calming tool to shut off his brain for a while. He's not responsible for anything. That's nice. Very freeing. The act of binding him is in itself roleplay; he's playing small and weak.

He's noticed something else, too.

Over the weeks and months you two have repeated this ritual of tying him up, and you both understand just how much it doesn't remotely hurt him, you've grown...more aggressive with the bonds. It's only when you're tying them--never an ounce of it in anything that follows--but he watches and realizes that you relieve frustration by pulling harder, knotting tighter, heaving around until their just so.

At this point, since Steve can do nothing else, he loves to see it. He's heard short and vague accounts from you, of shitty behavior, of innuendo, of back-handed compliments about how you do so well even with Steve. How his reputation must boost you. How you don't have to work so hard or be good because he'll carry you. How your accomplishments are all tied to him somehow.

It's not true, but they say it. They mean it. Steve can do nothing but let you physically yoke him down in your life, even for a few minutes. The weight it seems to lift from your shoulders is worth any momentary sting he might feel.

No. Steve doesn't mind the bonds at all. He even hates that you can't restrain him for real. He wishes he could give you that. Then people might see that you're just that powerful and you've always been that strong. He had nothing to do with it.

Okay, one sec, let me pull myself together here. YIKES.

IT BECAME ITS OWN FIC! [Entwined]

F - Food Play

[Fools Rush In Steve a.k.a. Sketch is notoriously anti-crumbs-in-the-bed, so he is 1000% not a part of this convo. Sorry, bub.]

YUP. Steve loves to feed you. It's a care thing. He always wants your opinion of all the food on the table, so you have to try everything. Here! Try this. The fork is already by your lips and he's smiling eagerly.

In the bedroom? Oh yes, he is very fond of licking sweet things off you and having them licked off him. It's one of the things that seems to tickle Steve the most--body and soul--and it's so playful. He even gets to lean into having a fast metabolism and needing calories after his workouts. If he drizzles honey or chocolate syrup on you, or hilariously fizzes too much whipped cream out of the canister he has not gotten the hang of yet, then that's a snack and a half. That's multitasking. That's just good time management, ya know?

Savory stuff is for meals and the table though. There's none of that that gets played with during sex. He's never outright said that's a rule, but it seems obvious when there's never been a crossover event.

Super random shout out to Steve having a bit of a thing for champagne and licking it off your neck after he deliberately splashes or pours it there. The bubbles tickle like hell and the cold is so shocking, but whatever, he loves it.

🙄

Thank you for asking!

Ack, I can feel in my bones that the bondage one might end up as a one shot. I am in so much trouble.

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[matthew-gray-gubler-lover]

Sex With Spencer Reid All Seasons (season 13)

If you are under the age of 18, please do not read this story. Thank you.

This will cover what I believe sex would be like with Spencer Reid from season 1 to 15. Warning contains adult situations, Sex. Dirty talk, Orgasms, Crying, Spoilers for all seasons and Spencer Reid being a sex God.

Also includes fingering and oral sex. (Female receiving only.)

These are a little bit longer than I anticipated them to be because I wanted to give a back story as to why the sex is the way that it is for each season. To give it in depth feeling of why Spencer was the way that he was in bed that season.  So I will be posting them by each season rather than all at once. I hope this gives you something to look forward to, and please leave comments,  I will be leaving links to the next season below.

You are a new agent at the BAU and Spencer Reid's girlfriend, the one who takes his virginity and has sex with him for all 15 seasons and beyond.

Spencer Reid knew the first time he saw you walk through the doors of the BAU that you were the one that he was going to love forever. The first time you smiled, he knew it was the only smile that he ever wanted to wake up to. The first time he touched your hand, he knew yours was the only hand he ever wanted to hold. The first time he kissed you, he knew your lips were the only ones that he ever wanted to have pressed against his own. and the first time he made love to you, he knew you were the only one he ever wanted to do this with, and he also knew he would never be the same you or his life now, his love and his only desire.

Season 13

Spoilers for season 13

Once Spencer is finally released from prison and Cat Adams is done playing her game with him, Diana is found safe and Emily is found and Mr. Scratch is finally gone.  you're back at home And are both exhausted from the really rough few days that you've had, let alone the past three months.

You drag yourself into yours and Spencer's apartment and flop on the couch. Spencer is right behind you after he shuts and locks the front door.

"I'm so glad to have you back home Spencer. I missed you so much." You told him as you just stared at him. You couldn't keep your eyes off of him. You're just so happy that he's back home, trying to forget how horrible it was the whole time he was in prison.

"I'm so tired too. You must be so tired as well. You couldn't possibly have gotten much sleep in prison. How about we just take a shower and go to bed? Or we can just go to bed if you'd rather.  I understand if you don't want to be touched. It must have been awful in there.  I'll keep my distance if you want me to." you offered.

The whole time you've been talking, Spencer's just been standing there at the door, staring at you. You're not sure what's wrong. Did you do something wrong? Say something wrong? He seemed like the sweet Spencer that he was before he went into prison, But maybe he's different now.

"Spence?"

Before you knew it was happening, he was rushing towards the couch, putting his hands on both side of your face and kissing your lips with passion.

"I missed you so much. You're all I thought about in there. I didn't think I was ever going to be able to kiss you again. Every time you came to visit me, all I wanted to do was just hold you in my arms and kiss you. Please don't keep your distance. I don't want you to stay away from me. I want to hold you. I want to Make Love to you. I want to kiss you. I want to take showers together. Bubble baths together. I had so many dreams in there about doing all of these things. And then I woke up and you weren't there, I wasn't in our apartment. I wasn't even in a hotel room with you on a case. I was in that horrible, horrible cell.  I just want to spend as much time with you as I can. Please don't go away." he asked you almost begging.

"OK baby, don't worry. I'm not going to leave. I'm not going anywhere. I want all the same things that you want. I missed you so much. I worried about you every single minute of the day."

You both gave in to desire as Spencer kissed you and scooped you up off of the couch, carrying you bridal style into your shared bedroom. Everything was just as he remembered, as he laid you down on the Forest Green comforter. The lights were the same, the window shades were the same. Everything looked exactly the way that he remembered it.

Spencer kissed you, and the comforter felt so nice against his arms as he laid on top of you, kissing you, both of you still fully clothed.

Spencer pulled his lips away from yours. You noticed that There were tears in his eyes. You lifted up your hands and wiped them away with your thumbs before whispering. "You don't have to cry. I'm here. This isn't a dream."

Spencer sniffled and kissed your left hand, noticing your wedding ring sparkling in the moonlight That was seeping through the window.

"Promise?... Promise? This isn't just a dream. I'm not going to wake up back in there?" he asked.

"i promise."

Spencer stood up off the bed and started to remove his tie before unbuttoning his shirt. As he did so, you notice little bruises and scratches, a few cuts here and there, not even being able to allow yourself to wonder what happened to him in there.

All you wanted right now was to enjoy how beautiful Spencer is standing there before you shirtless. As he starts removing his pants, all you want is your husband. That's all you wanted for the past three months.

You were so caught up in staring at him that you didn't even notice the tears that was running down your face. But Spencer did, leaning down to wipe away the tears the same as you did with him before kissing you on the lips and saying, "it's not a dream remember?"

He then began removing your clothes, starting with your burgundy sweater. While his burgundy sweater really You wore his sweaters a lot so that you could feel close to him while he was away.

Once you are completely bare, he looked at you, lit up by only the moonlight.

"are you ok?" you asked him.

"yes, i...i missed you so much, but you said you are tired are you sure you want this?" he asked with such sadness in his voice.

"Yes of course I do. I missed you so much. But if you're tired, and I know you must be, we don't have to do this. We can just go to sleep and....."

Spencer cut you off with a passionate kiss to the lips. That was the start of a beautiful evening.

He kissed a trail from your lips, neck all the way down to your center. He opened your legs and asked, "Are you sure you want this?"

"yes please i need it so badly."

 Spencer then put his head down and began licking you. Something that you missed so very much. You missed the touch, the smell, everything of Spencer Reid. He was all that you wanted, all that you needed. 

After two orgasms from oral, Spencer kissed his way back up and asked. "You sure you want more? I can wait until tomorrow."

"If we wait until tomorrow, we both might explode. Please. Please. I need you Spencer. I need you so badly. I needed you then. I need you now. I'll need you always."

And with that Spencer slowly slid inside of you and interlace your fingers together, Both of you moaning with the extreme pleasure. Not being with each other for so long made everything so sensitive, even though you just had two orgasms from oral. Spencer's movements were slow. His kisses were filled with love and appreciation for you. It's as though Spencer never wanted this moment to end. And truly, you didn't either.

You were so happy to be back together, and you're both very thankful for the six weeks' worth of vacation time that you were given.

Once Spencer was reinstated, he was very happy to be back on the team, but disappointed to learn that it wasn't A full reinstatement. He would have to take time off and it was mandatory but was thrilled to hear that he was going to be able to be a professor thanks to Prentiss.

You thought the Spencer looked so cute as a professor. Of course you always thought that he was hot. And that's what sparked the idea in your head. One day you didn't have a case in Spencer was working at the school, so you decided to go and bring him a surprise lunch.

You Tippy toed into the room as Spencer was still teaching. There was still 5 minutes' worth of teaching time before Class was lit out for lunch.

You couldn't help but notice how all the girls in the class were flipping their hair and staring at your husband as he walked back and forth describing criminology.

You even heard a couple of them say he's so hot as they walked out of the room to go to lunch. Something that made you angry but also very proud because you're his wife and those girls will never have him.

Spencer was erasing the chalkboard when he heard a familiar voice. 

"Hey there Professor Sexy"

He turned around to see you walking towards him, holding a little bag in your hand containing his lunch.

"Y/N" he said loudly.

"yep it's me, and i can't Begin to tell you how sexy you are when you teach. I didn't think that you could get any sexier, but lo and behold, you did." You told him as you placed the plastic bag on his desk.

"what's this?" he asked after kissing you.

"It's your lunch. A Turkey sub on wheat with a side of potato chips."

"Thank you honey, this is so sweet. What inspired this? He asked as he took the  sub out of the bag."

"Just missed you."

"i missed you too, and you know i am Hungry, but I think that I'm going to save this sub for later because there's something else that I really want to eat right now.

"oh, i'm sorry i thought...." Spencer cut you off with a kiss before whispering in your ear. "Don't you want to know what I'm hungry for?"

"yes"

"you" he whispered in your ear.

"How do you feel about having sex on my desk?" he asked you.

You couldn't believe what he was suggesting doing, and if you weren't so turned on, you might have thought differently than you were right now. But all you could think about was how sexy he was and how much you wanted him.

"yes, yes i want to" you answered.

That was all he needed to hear. He picked up the sub and put it back in the bag and placing the bag on his chair before lifting you up and putting you up on the desk.

Making things all the better for him was the fact that you were wearing a skirt Today he lifted that up, removing your black underwear and licking right up your center.

"Mmm so good, and Exactly what I wanted." he moaned.

You moaned as you put your head back on the desk and ran your fingers through his curly hair.

"Are you close baby?" He asked you.

"yes" you moaned out.

Just then, he pulled his mouth away from you before quickly removing his belt and dropping his pants along with his underwear. Didn't even give you time to fully process what was happening. You didn't even really realize that his mouth had left you before he was pushing inside of you.

"Oh honey I'll never get tired of this feeling. You always feel so good around me. I want you to finish with me inside of you OK?"

"ok"

If someone would have told you when you first met Spencer that one day he would be a professor and you'd be having sex on his desk, you would have told them they were completely insane, that this man would never have sex with you on his desk. but here you are.

You were even more surprised to how much time he was taking with you, given that class is going to resume after lunch.

"Did you ever fantasize about this honey? About having sex with your professor husband on his desk?" Spencer asked you.

"yes i have" you answered.

"you know i think some of the girls in my class think about it to, but you are the only one who can have me like this," he whispered in your ear.

Spencer chuckled before asking. "Ready?"

"YES!" you tell out. right before spencer came inside of you.

Both of you moaning together in unison.

It's a good thing that you're both done, because as soon as he got done moaning your name and your ear, the bell rang, lunch was officially over, and Professor Sexy had to go back to teaching those girls who wanted your husband but would never have him.

Spencer kissed you and said "thank you for lunch"

As you walk to the door, you can see the girls ogling at your husband again, but you walked out knowing that you were the only one who could ever have sex with him on his desk, or anywhere for that matter.

That night when Spencer came home and was grading papers, you couldn't keep your eyes off of him still wearing his outfit from being a professor. Not really that much different than the clothes that he wears normally at the BAU. but still there was something about him.

You made dinner and then spencer took a shower. Spencer still has some papers to grade.

So you decided to take your shower while you were waiting for him to get done grading. You were still so turned on by him as he sat Wearing his Gray bathrobe in his comfy green chair, located in front of the window right next to the bookshelf with a light and a little table. As he graded the papers. Just looking so beautiful, so sexy. So gorgeous.

When you are done with your shower, you came back out of the bathroom wearing your pink bathrobe.

You could see that there wasn't many papers left in front of Spencer, so you walked over to him and stood next to the chair.

spencer looked up at you and said "hey baby what's up?"

"Just watching my sexy professor husband wondering how much longer it's going to be before I can take care of him."

"i just finished the last paper."

"well that's good Because I couldn't wait for you anymore, you told him as you begin kissing his neck, standing next to the chair, making your way onto his lap.

As you did so, you could see something starting to peek up through the opening of Spencer's bathrobe, and you couldn't be happier to see it. You on tied his bathrobe and sunk down onto his perfect penis. You were so greedy for him, you just swallowed him right on up, causing Spencer to moan.

"are we going to have sex right here?" spencer asked.

"yep" you answered.

Your movements were slow and your kisses were full of love. You just wanted to feel your husband inside of you again, something that you missed so much the three months that he was away. And truth be told, he couldn't get enough of you either.

But the slow movements became too much for Spencer. He ended up holding onto your hips and thrusting up into you, causing you to throw your head back and moan out his name.

Spencer then picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, never pulling out and carrying you into your bedroom, laying you softly on the bed and making love to you.

You were both so glad that Spencer was back home. The love of your life was back with you in your bed, holding you tight, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, feeling his fingertips run up and down your back, telling you, loving things. And you were never going to lose him again.

Of course, you really didn't like the fact that the new recruits for the BAU kept ogling at your man. but Again you knew that you were truly Spencer Reid's. One and only love.

Everything was going so wonderfully for you and Spencer. That was until the day that he got kidnapped again.

Masterlist for these stories

[fault-classic]

It's been a little while, what have I been working on?

My latest work went into making some pretty significant tweaks to the battle results screen. Really starting to tie things together now, but it's not quite finished yet! That's not all, though.

Back in May I was experimenting with RPG Maker's "weather" system. I had implemented a map-specific "overhang" layer that framed the edges of rooms with black space. That prevented weather effects - like snow particles - from displaying beyond the boundaries of the room.

The frogs are just my debug objects for turning the snow on and off.

But it's not like I wanted it to snow indoors - after I had the overhangs figured out, I rewrote the behaviour and graphics code for the "snow" particles to create these dust particles that float around aimlessly.

This ought to make the catacomb interiors feel appropriately dusty - and make the environments feel less still and lifeless in general.

They even display on the battle screen... though sometimes they tend to crowd around the left side of the screen because of the panning and sliding during the battle intro animation. I'll have to fix that at some point.

During May and June, Vito got a complete set of battle sprites and an attack animation.

And so did Yolei. Oh, and the dog enemy is also new.

The dog enemy is very evasive, but also cowardly and not very tough.

It is capable of the "flee" action, something that slimes and skeletons will not do.

At the end of June I added a MAJOR quality of life feature. When Ashley is facing something on the map that can be interacted with or talked to with the action button, a quotation bubble with an exclamation mark will pop up above their head. No ambiguity! No more pixel hunting or mashing the action button in front of every random tile!

I didn't save any screenshots in July, it was a busy month I guess. But in August I got back to work.

Remember this old sprite? From February of 2023?

Well, I'm revisiting this enemy type with more practice under my belt. Here are some gifs I recorded as I was figuring them out and implementing their assets and abilities.

As armored enemies, they are very hardy - the weaker party members will have a hard time damaging them with basic attacks.

In addition to their basic attacks, all undead enemies can perform a skill that inflicts "fear" status on one party member, which depletes their morale over time...

Here's the same battle running with the mood lighting and dust effects turned on. While I was fiddling with the code, I was also able to configure the target animation to not play if the skill misses. It looked sloppy otherwise.

At some point I put a big, animated door on the front entrance of the debug dungeon. I used this door as a testing model for other interactive doors to use later.

I also spent the last few days of the month filling out Nana's spellbook with some more spell animations. "Dazzle" inflicts dizzy on the entire enemy party. Dizzy enemies have a chance of hitting the wrong target with their basic attacks - including their own allies. Hitting a dizzy target with a basic attack will also knock them down and stun them for one turn.

"Fume" poisons one enemy with a cloud of noxious gas, dealing damage over time.

I should of course note that since skeletons don't breathe, they can't be poisoned in the final game - I was only using this one to demonstrate the animation here.

that's all for now!

[theotherseapancakes]

Psssst. You mentioned no one cares about Philemon, but now I'm curious if you have any thoughts about his role in the games after he disappeared. And for sillies sake, does he have anything to do with the Dance games?

I have been waiting my entire life for this. Anon do you realize how verbose I'm going to get. DO YOU REALIZE? I hope you like read mores. Let me preface this with I am aware and have seen some popular theories, so I'm going to sidestep a lot of them and present one I've built since... well, I became a Persona fan as a teenager. MAJOR PERSONA SERIES SPOILERS LIKE THE ENTIRE THING OK? OK. yes even royal.

The P2 PSP additional scenario is so incredibly important and I think everyone missed the point of it. THE PERSONA 2 PSP ADDITIONAL TATSUYA SCENARIO!!!! It's beyond important, because it reveals to us Philemon can have more than one Avatar we know about, just like Nyarly. (Casual reminder he's like half the shopkeeps in P2. Time Count, anyone? Why was the Time Count so hot. Anyway.) Disclaimer: I'm just a casual fan who has played a LOT of Persona and SMT. I haven't gotten around to all of them, but I've played/finished both paths of 1, 2, 3 (and p3p) as well as 4 and 5. Didn't manage to get my hands on Golden but I've seen enough of it. (It's funny you ask about the dance games, they're the only ones I don't have right now! But my roommate does, and will be gone for a few months soon, perhaps I will take the time to start with p4DAN. I'm atrocious at rhythm games though so more than likely I'll find a video. Anyway.) WHAT is Philemon? If we can't define that, we can't talk about The Positivity Guy Ever.

So let's talk about Phil. He's a fascinating character. His Persona is just a form of Himself, But Cooler. And he seems to HAVE no set shape, not unlike Nyarlathotep. People have various theories about Shadows and their origins etc., but Phil is more like that vote of confidence in people. I think, personally, that after the end of Innocent Sin, Phil's been pretty weak. We see in Eternal Punishment he's fading pretty roughly, and has a hard time talking to the party. Presumably ending Nyarly might to some degree fix things when Deja-vu Boy goes home, but... the problem is, we don't know how fixed they truly ended up being, or the full depth of how much he could/did expend!

In fact, the first time we even see Phil without the dumb mask is when Tatsuya decks him. Pay close attention to that fact. To the mask motifs here. I want you to really soak in Phil's everything. He's a leader. A kind soul. He's the good of people. He wants to believe the best.

Anyway, most of these things overlook what I find really interesting as we've gotten more games worth of lore: he and Nyarly aren't the only eldritch entities walking around like that. Yes, Nyx is one too. Yes, it's probable she may even be their 'mom'. It's possible they all came from Nyx initially, but it's also possible (and should be considered) they too may have been outsiders at one point. We need to ask ourselves how far the human collective unsconsciousness can go. Is that sea infinite? Could it affect other worlds? Think about Aion in Devil Summoner Soul Hackers 2. Yes, I am asking you to think about Soul Hackers 2. Deal with it, I don't care. They're sister series. They share many things. SO! Did the shape of the human mind change a bunch of eldritch creatures and make them interact with us even more after Nyx smacked the moon a gazillion years ago? Is there multiple worlds? Weird bullshit? Just the two? Hmm. Well... I, personally, think so. I think he was touched by humanity just like Nyarlathotep, but in the other way. The reason I bring this up is two-fold. The first is Nodens. Now, we don't know much about the actual Nodens, unfortunately, just some speculation. Which is a shame. (If anyone has more info I'd love to have it, ngl. As a pagan this shit fascinates me.) But what we do get on him in Lovecraftian lore can provide us some intriguing possibilities about Phil's everything, which the games love to keep really rather vague. (And this is putting aside that his human Persona is based off the obviously bogus Jungian Spirit Guide, but we love an old guy in a mask anyway. He probably felt that was more 'friendly' for humans, hah.) I believe that Nodens, and Phil by extension, are just as responsible for nurturing and keeping the collective unconsciousness alive and positive. We see the butterfly symbol everywhere. We see it with Lavenza, too. "This is truly an unjust game." So was the bet Phil made with Nyarly, a game he rigged. Phil made the mistake of thinking the Crawling Chaos wouldn't cheat, a mistake he is never making again, I assume, if he can help it. Shit, you could view his boss fight in P2EP as him trying to train the EP crew to beat the snot out of Nyarly, even. But off topic. If Nyarly is basically the father of all Shadows, and they and Personas are the same coin, it makes me wonder a lot of things. The two have always been portrayed as simultaneously diametrically opposed, but also not? They have identical halls in P2. They have similar powers and talents... I think after Persona 3, Phil's remnants sank into the Collective Unconsciousness, to attempt to rehabilitate humanity from what it lost, from what he himself lost. I think Igor took over the room, because he took a backseat to recover. It would go a long, long way towards explaining why only SOME characters have the tier of the Wild Card, which is similar to the 'original' Persona power. (Having multiple.) He was took weak to remain in his Spirit Guide (Philemon) form, and had to abandon it to return to the depths as Nodens... So. Let me go back to Nodens and make some notes about design.

Nodens, as seen here, sort of resembles an iron maiden. It really brings to mind the idea of maybe Tatsuya or someone's humanoid form sleeping within it, doesn't it? Fitting for an aspect of Philemon! ... You probably can see where I'm going with this, but let me pull up some screens to finish the point:

That's right! It's Azathoth, Baby! I believe that unlike mythology, he's yet another aspect of Philemon. Eldritch positivity, in too much force, could be used for accidental bad, too. (Reasons Maruki is my favorite Law Hero, haha.) Let me explain. I think Philemon always existed in... let's call it parts. Azathoth is said to be a dreaming god in whom's universe we all just happen to be alive inside, right? "Dream of butterfly" (Philemon) "Or is life a dream? Don't wanna wake up. Cuz I'm happy here." That sure is thematic to what Maki goes through in Persona 1, and what Maruki's beloved suffers, isn't it? ISN'T IT. The "true reality" he creates... would help Maruki create in the additional Semester--would be something most humans would never pass the muster to even try to control. But we have seen Phil test a few people and find them worth passing before! However, that seems like ages ago. Why has he been so quiet? I think because he was spending time conserving his energy. He believed in humanity enough to give Makoto a push when it was needed in p3 (or femc, if you play her), but otherwise trusted Igor while he restored what needed it. But in Persona 5 Royal, he hand-picked Maruki, didn't he? At first, when I played Persona 5 Royal, I really thought it was some part of Nyarly, but I no longer believe this to be the case. The coloration and symbolism in the background (the golds, the whole garden of eden themes, the way his Palace was laid out), the whole sea of soul motifs in P3Re later... mmm. I have a lot of thoughts about this, but this post is already way too long for one simple ask. So let's wrap up by going one step further and looking finally at Nodens' dialogue to the party in the Extra Scenario in Persona 2: Eternal Punishment (PSP). The following is a transcript, you can find a video here:

Nodens: This is the memory of the lost child whom you all seek. Nodens: Memory occasionally brings about much distress and suffering, but it is absolutely vital to distinguish oneself from others and manufacture one's own psyche. Nodens: Ever since it began, life's memory has accumulated unbroken, passing through individual experiences and spanning several generations. Nodens: And so it has given shape to Kadath and the Collective Unconsciousness, thereby becoming a foundation for the next generation. Nodens: Even if the roots of the world are directed by fear and anxiety, never forget that the true essence of life is brimming with joy. Nodens: You must not stop seeking the answer for why life was born in a cosmos progressing towards absurdity and chaos. Nodens: Life brims with joy, bringing about balance in a universe predestined to heat death, and that allows the world to live a long time.

So to answer your question, I think he's taken a much subtler role. I think he's influencing people by pretending to be a Persona for Maruki, because he believes it will help them grow. I don't think he was intending a forever-control vice grip, but rather to prove a point. No matter what, the primordial chaos of humanity will rise up for chaotic good, lawful good, whatever "good" is needed. Azathoth is... interesting. Adam Kadmon is also interesting. But mostly I HIGHLY suspect we may see him again in Persona 6, or at least I'm hoping so. It's my personal pet theory by then he'll be less faded and come back to us in a new form of some kind. He's never had a set one, after all. Now for funsies about the dancing game, well, he's a positive guy, he wanted to just make sure everyone had their fitness regimen checked off. Obviously. (This is a joke.) Did the devs intend this? I'm honestly not sure? Like there's a lot of nods to older Personas in 5 and now 3RE especially, but it's definitely worth chewing on. I could go on and on about things I think he's connected to, but ultimately they have the final say lol. I'm just a crackpot conspiracy theorist on tumblr who really likes Philemon. He and the Room are my favorites. :) Ask me about attendants for additional dumb, sometime, I guess lol.

[eviltothecore13]

I wonder if the writers ever regret putting the rebecca easter egg in

I am not sure the writers have much interaction with the Western side of the fandom, and I don't know what the Japanese-language fandom reaction has been to it. So I don't know for sure that they're even aware there has been a fandom reaction to the easter egg that wasn't viewing it as funny or just going "hey a hot girl" as the average cishet male gamer in the late 90s unfortunately would have.

Honestly people seem to have talked more about the easter egg in the past year than in my entire time in the fandom before that? Like, yes there were always a few people who headcanoned something creepy going on with Wesker and Rebecca because of the easter egg, and there were always a few people who shipped them, too, and also that one old fic that explained it with "she's his secret daughter and he just wanted to keep a picture of his daughter where she was happy and playing basketball like she loved doing, rather than only having an official ID photo of her", but it used to be much easier to talk about Wesker without people mentioning it? Most people in the fandom never really seemed to give it that much thought beyond "yeah, yeah, 90s videogame sexism, trying to 'reward' you with a picture of a girl, kinda cringe", and most discussions of Wesker's characterisation never really seemed to involve it.

For that matter, before RE6, the primary assumption among the fanfic/fanart side of the fandom was that Wesker was 100% gay (generally using his distaste for Excella's attentions as proof). The "gamer guy on Reddit and/or videogame forums" side of the fandom, meanwhile, didn't so much see him as straight, as take a position somewhere along the lines of "Wesker is such a badass killing machine that having any kind of relationship or even being attracted to anyone is beneath him, all he thinks about is mad science and world domination". (Large numbers of people on both sides of the fandom--not just the gay headcanoners and Chrisker shippers as you might think--derided RE6 as OOC because they simply could not picture Wesker ever having had sex with a woman! It's just that one half thought he had sex with men, while the other half thought shipping was lame and for girls and can we get back to the zombies and explosions now.)

"Wesker is a sexual predator who preys on women" wasn't a nonexistent position back then, but it really wasn't the majority, and most people depicting him as such were...well, straight women writing 50-Shades-esque fantasies, rather than people who seriously thought he was a creep and hated him for it. And those would often involve Claire or an OC rather than Rebecca.

It's only the past couple of years that some people have been loud about using the easter egg as 'proof' that Wesker was preying on Rebecca and as a reason to hate Wesker, and only the past few months that I've started getting LOADS AND LOADS OF ASKS about it.

I'm rather surprised by this turn of events and wonder what caused it, to be honest, it seems like a very sudden switch. Is it just the RE2 remake reminding people of it? Wesker seems a more controversial character in general these days though than he used to be. He used to be unquestionably one of the most popular characters with a very high demand for more content of him, the decision to put him in MVC3 being very popular, him regularly placing highly in "best character" polls, lots of people wanting his return from the dead, etc... sure he was evil and there were people who "disliked" him in the sense of "he's an awful person who I'd hate in real life" or maybe "he hurt my favourite characters", "killing him in-game is satisfying because I'm beating the bad guy" kinds of dislike, but not "I wish he wasn't in the series" "I want to see less of him" "I hate anyone who likes him" kinds of dislike, you know? Mostly he was viewed as a badass scheming ruthless supervillain with cool powers, and frequently also as hot. Obviously enthusiasm for "MORE WESKER!!!" will die down after it's been so long since his death (though DBD revived it a bit) but I don't know where the increased amount of outright hate for the character and his fans has come from over the past few years.

Is liking villains just less popular? It used to be a fairly common belief that, no matter how evil they might be (in fact, the more evil the better sometimes), the villains were always the coolest characters in anything. Especially in horror, considering the number of horror franchises that are ultimately villain-based (the Cthulhu Mythos, most slasher things, a lot of kaiju things though how much those count as horror varies, basically all of Universal Horror though Dracula isn't the coolest character in the book). But I know some other villains who used to be seen as a main draw of the series now have a lot of people wanting them killed off for good.

In some of those cases, though, I think decreased quality of the writing is in large part to blame (the Joker used to be seen as an entertaining source of dark comedy and was one of the most popular characters in BTAS and the Arkham games, but now liking him--far from being an uncontroversial opinion--is associated with a Very Specific Unpleasant Type Of Guy...but that's probably because a lot of recent writing of him just hasn't been that interesting or funny). The increase in people who really vocally hated Wesker happened BEFORE RE4make, at a time when he'd basically not been in anything for years, so can't really be blamed on "he recently appeared in something badly written"--so I'm not sure where it's come from.

[imaginespazzi]

I've been letting your story marinate for a few days. Perfection as always.

I'm very interested in this timeline because Paige getting married after a year dating and Azzi being very pregnant got my braincells firing. And I wonder if one is an (in)direct result of the other. Sorry this is long but I had to write it out.

Feb 2033 - Present day, Stephie is 5. Paige and Azzi not really spoken in 8 years.

2030 - P and Olivia divorce.

September 2029 - Stephie about 18 months. Paige married. Found it interesting that Paige wears an engagement ring...

Jan/Feb 2028 - Stephie born.

December 2027 - Paige's wedding, very Azzi pregnant (the timeline is timelining for me around this). Paige and Olivia been dating 'barely a year.'

Early 2027ish - Azzi flies to Dallas sees Paige and Olivia together, leaves.

Late 2026 - P and Olivia start dating. Paige hid the relationship for the first few months.

May 2024 - End of school year, Paige going into her final season in 2024-2025, appears Azzi is planning on staying until 2026.

September 2017 - Baby Pazzi being adorkable

Other thoughts as I re-read hunting for clues.

I feel like when Azzi's not around and Stephie is over Katie and Tim talked about Paige, she seemed to know a lot about her beyond just seeing her play a handful of times.

The fracturing seemed to happen while still at UConn judging by comments by Jana/Ice. And it was clearly pretty bad from the way the UConn girlies still react to it.

As a side note I kinda don't blame Azzi for feeling so off kilter, Paige parachutes back into her life after barely speaking in a decade, and slides back into how she's so pretty and all this like she didn't have a whole ass WIFE in between. I'd also feel whiplash from it tbh.

Paige doing all those little things that aren't her for the wedding she so wants to love Olivia as much as Azzi but can't. Feels like a massive red flag to be thinking about the girl you wish you could have married on your wedding day.

8 years and it seems like Paige has no idea why Azzi said no?

Azzi feels so guilty but part of me thinks she had a reason that made sense at the time that Paige couldn't/wouldn't try to understand.

I have a partial theory but will save it so as not to put out any potential spoilers (not saying I'm super confident lol).

OMG babes you're pretty much spot on with your timelines. Here's my timeline (literally written on a sticky note on my laptop) for cross-reference (spoilers crossed out obvi)

Yes absolutely, Katie and Tim have definitely spoken about Paige in front of Stephie and especially since Stephie would be with them at Wings vs Valkyries games, they'd make sure she knew

Whiplash + residual guilt, like Azzi's definitely got some valid concerns at the moment

You know how Azzi has warning bells? Paige reeeeeally needs some of those or maybe she does have them, but when they were ringing like crazy on her wedding day, she did an incredible job of ignoring them

Paige and Azzi have had their moments over the course of 8 years but they've definitely never addressed anything they should...

OMG please send me your theory and add like a clue/emoji or something so I can confirm if you're close or not without posting it cause I really wanna hear it.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 1 Pt. 1 (Meet the Founder!)

When you play a challenge in The Sims 4 that ignites your imagination but is supposed to be fun (so why am I plotting generations like this is a real novel?!), you figure out how to use Tumblr to share it because you've officially put in too much effort for it to be a little word doc on your laptop and you actually can't get over how pretty this game is, even with the most basic graphics card on earth.

Gen 1 is a breeze compared to Gen 2, so enjoy the casual fun gameplay while it lasts... (And no, I'm not great at gameplay screenshots, thanks in advance for not caring! It gets better by Gen 2 but not incredible or anything.)

Generation One (Founder): Daisy Lea Darden Clumsy, Cheerful, Loves Outdoors Gardener (Botanist) Favourite Colours: yellow, white Favourite Drink: Apple Nectar Favourite Music: Cottagecore

Daisy Darden took some time after high school to decide what she wanted to do with her life. She ultimately chose to return to the home she lived in before her grandmother's death – a quaint village cottage at 5 Cobblebottom Street in Henford-on-Bagley. Raised by the old woman after her parents were killed in a car crash when she was a baby, Daisy was young when her grandmother died too, tossed into the foster system with nowhere to call home.

But the deed was still in the family name and Daisy was the only descendant. She hoped to find success as a gardener in one of the greenest towns in Simlandia, but more than anything she wanted to find the family she was robbed of as a little girl.

Despite everything she’d been through, she was optimistic and smiled when she thought about her future.

Not long after her arrival, she met Henford civil designer Neal Nesbitt, who made her feel things she'd never felt for a man before. He thought she was beautiful, and they loved spending time together outdoors, commiserating over Henford's often-rainy weather. Their connection was deep and immediate, and a daytrip to the city for a comedy festival let Neal see his cheerful girl in her element.

Already stressed by political red-tape at work, then the roof burst at his cottage north of town. During the repair, Daisy let him stay with her. Content to be alone after the shock death of his parents to a pandemic flu when he was just out of high school, Daisy made Neal feel at ease. He never wanted to leave, and he moved in for good before the repairs on his house were complete. That's when Daisy discovered his parents had been well off, leaving them more than enough to live comfortably as they began their life together. Daisy never cared about money, but she was grateful not to have to struggle after so many years of hardship.

To cope with her years in the foster system, Daisy had taken up meditation as a teen, guiding her mind to a place of calm despite the tumult in her life. It also helped her find literal balance, as she’d always been a bit clumsy. She stocked her kitchen with the cheapest dishes imaginable because she was always breaking them in the sink! When she wasn't tending to Henford's many beautiful green gardens, including her own, she was helping residents from Henford and beyond with guided meditation sessions in-person and online.

Neal and Daisy found themselves expecting after just a few months, but a blissful babymoon in Granite Falls convinced Neal he'd met the woman he wanted to spend his life with. He and Daisy were young but determined to make a good life for themselves and their child. They eloped in Oasis Springs on the way home, just months before the birth of their daughter, Heather. Even though she had to be induced and it went against Daisy's hopes for a natural home birth, that Heather was healthy was all that mattered.

Dog-lover Neal brought home a rescue, but even with the chaos of new parenthood, the smart, friendly sheepdog named Ralph fit with their little family perfectly.

How would a baby change life in Henford for lovebirds Daisy and Neal? ->

WCIF Neal Nesbitt + 5 Cobblebottom Street lot in the gallery.