#i'm a bit behind on new liv so i checked it out for you and loved it

[demonpoxballad]

Maybe I Should Leave

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Word count: 1570

Summary: social anxiety at a party vibes - reader is new to the Avengers compound, and she struggles with shyness.

Warnings: swearing, social anxiety

Masterlist

Hey! I'm done with exams and I'm looking forward to writing more! This is my first time writing Bucky eeek. I found writing in present tense a real mind-fuck so let me know if you spot any mistakes!

- Liv xxx

Maybe she shouldn’t have come. It’s all a bit too much. The music rumbling low in her stomach. All of the very important colleagues that she barely knows. And the lights are giving her a headache concentrated right behind her eyeballs. She could, of course, try getting a little drunk. Just a little bit, to ease the nerves. But sometimes the agony of remembering the night before is worse than spending the entire night excruciatingly sober.

She peers around the room from her strategic spot in the corner next to the bar, searching for some allies. Helen ditched her a while ago to go and drool over Thor, and Wanda is exchanging especially moony glances with Vision. There’s no way in hell she’s going to interrupt whatever kind of rendezvous Natasha has going on with Agent Hill at the other end of the bar.

Bruce could be a safe option. Yeah. She could just go over there and sit with him and talk about physics, or whatever. He’s always kind to her, and patient whenever her brain short-circuits and she starts talking like she was born yesterday.

She starts strolling over to the chair in target, resisting the urge to fiddle with the bracelets at her wrist. But then Steve wanders over and steals her spot, the bastard, and her pace falters. She can’t even see if there’s another chair available near them, but it doesn’t matter, because she also can’t just go and join in a conversation with Steve. He’s too… well. Everything, really.

There’s a door just ahead to her right and she elbows her way through it, as if she had meant to the whole time. No one would notice anyway; she’s like a ghost in the compound, so used to being barely there that she doesn’t get surprised anymore when people forget about her. Stumbling out into the hallway, she rounds the corner and then presses her back flat against the wall, staring at the reflection of herself in the framed painting hanging on the wall opposite.

“Shit, shit. Fuck.” Tears threaten to spill the makeup she spent so much time on all over her face. “You can do this; you can be a normal fucking person. Just, uhhh, you can – ”

“Hey. Are you okay?”

************************************************

Why does he even come to these things? Honestly, Stark parties just make Bucky long for the time before, when he could just pick up a beautiful girl and take her to a nice dance. Things were simpler back then. He used to know all the steps to all the songs. And how to make people laugh.

Nights like these are usually spent grimacing at Sam’s teasing, until he gets bored and goes off to find some people who “actually know how to have a good time.” Bucky can’t blame him.

So he’s left leaning against the wall with a whiskey, feeling his left arm vibrating uncomfortably along with the bass of the music. At least she’s here. Bucky likes to people watch, and one of his favourite people to look at is her. She’s perched up on a barstool, no drink in sight. The dress she’s wearing does funny things to his breathing rate, and he finds himself absent-mindedly rubbing his lips together whenever his eyes dawdle over her form. She looks relaxed, apart from the tapping fingers and flitting eyes he can spot so well.

He watches as she seems to make some internal decision, skirting around the edge of the room towards the sofas at the other end. And then she disappears, Bucky’s view obscured by shifting figures on the dancefloor. He frowns, wondering whether he should go after her or not.

Maybe she’s just going to the ladies’ room. He should at least check the corridor to make sure she’s okay. But if she’s not okay, would she really want to see him? What if she needs help?

Despite himself, Bucky is knocking back his drink, setting it down and walking towards the nearest door, following around the corridor that surrounds the party room. He can hear her muttering to herself, and he quickens his pace, heavy boots echoing on the sharp wooden floor. He rounds the corner and she’s in sight now, talking manically to a painting on the wall opposite.

“… you can be a normal fucking person. Just, uhhh, you can – ”

“Hey. Are you okay?”

“Huh?” She turns to him, eyes wide and brimming with tears. Bucky wants to wipe them away, to kiss her and taste the salt on her skin. “Oh, shit. Yeah, I’m fine, honestly.” There’s that forced bashful smile that looks more like poorly-masked pain. “I think I’m just gonna go to bed, I’m really tired.” She presses one heel against the wall and stands up straight, brushing her hands down her dress and turning to stalk towards the main foyer, where the lifts are.

Bucky paces after her, quickly catching up with his long strides. “Listen, I know we don’t talk much, but – ”

She interrupts and lifts a palm out towards him, still walking quickly down the corridor. “It’s okay, Bucky. You don’t have to…” she trails off with a sigh, glancing up briefly to his face. “I know I can be difficult to talk to.”

“No, wait.” He steps out in front of her, blocking her swift exit. She stumbles slightly in her heels and catches herself on his outstretched forearms. “You’re fine, really. I was gonna say the same thing about myself.”

She frowns then, an accusatory look in her eyes. “… What? Why?” She slowly removes her hands from his arms, and Bucky wishes she didn’t.

“You know. I’m grumpy looking. And I have the - ” He jiggles his right hand aimlessly in front of him. “The staring problem.”

She looks at him with furrowed eyebrows for a second, gaze shifting between his eyes. And then she surprises him by sniggering, her chin all dimpled and eyes sparkling. “I think I may have felt the wrath of your stare once or twice.”

Bucky grins. “That’s only because you’re pretty.” He quickly diverts the subject before she can process that comment. “What I’m trying to say is that I get it. You are quiet. But I like that about you, actually.”

“I don’t – oh. Thank you?” She’s still looking right into his eyes, and he finds that he needs to focus on his breathing. It feels like he’s falling, in a nice, floaty way. “I just have this thing where I’m really quiet until I get to know people. It’s especially bad in a group setting; like I just have to disappear and observe for a while, until I know it’s safe,” she explains.

“Safe for what?”

“I don’t know." She shrugs. "Safe to be, I suppose.”

He doesn’t really know what to say to that.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. You should go back to the party, really.” She steps to the side, as if it were her blocking his way the whole time.

He grimaces, glancing over to the pulsating lights and music spilling from the door next to her. “Yeah, uhhh. I don’t really want to.”

“That’s not fair,” she says, an incredulous tone to her voice.

“What?” Bucky genuinely can’t fathom why she sounds upset at him now.

Her eyebrows are pulled up together in the middle, the corners of her mouth drifting towards the floor. “You can’t let me ruin your night.”

He smirks, shaking his head. “You’re not. I’m invested now.”

“Invested in what?”

“I’m on a mission, to uncover the Real You.”

She looks away from his face, towards another one of Tony’s paintings on the wall. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Seriously, doll. I want you to be comfortable.”

“I’m comfortable.”

“Clearly not.” He gestures towards the mascara running down her cheekbones.

“Do I look terrible?”

“No. No, here – I can get it.” He gently blots away the darkness smudged under her eyes, nudging her chin up towards him with his other hand. He can’t help but let the tip of his thumb linger at the pretty curve of her lower lash line. “Come on, let’s get you a drink.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t want to get drunk.”

“Just one. We can sit in the corner and make fun of everyone. Have you ever seen Steve drunk before? It’s really funny.” He gently touches the back of her arm, steering her towards the party.

“Okay,” she relents, even though she’s already halfway through the door that he pulled open for her. They make their way over to the bar, Bucky cringing at the suggestive nod and panto-wink Natasha sends his way. He orders another whiskey for himself and a cocktail for her, nothing too lethal.

She’s leaning against the bar on one elbow, her other hand restlessly smoothing over the top of her hair. He should tell her how beautiful she looks.

“You look really good, by the way,” he chokes out. God, that was pathetic.

Her hand pauses at the nape of her neck, eyebrows raising in surprise. “Oh, well. Thanks.” Her eyes only meet Bucky’s for a few milliseconds at a time, and he wishes they would stick. She has such pretty eyes. “I’m wearing really good spanx.” Her face winces immediately after blurting that out, head bowed towards the floor.

He takes a sip of his drink and shakes his head. “I don’t know what that means.”

She lets out a relieved sounding laugh. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

[deliriousfangirl61]

Grounded [Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw] Chapter III

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Liv "Queenie" Fairdon

Masterlist [~~~~]

18+

Series Warnings: Death, Violence, Cursing, Smut (later chapters). MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+

-------------------------

Description: It's been two years since the accident that turned Liv "Queenie" Fairdon's life upside down, and she's fine... supposedly. She seems to have come to terms with being Grounded permanently and the ache in her chest after losing her brother lessening day after day. She has come to love her job at the base and her home that she fixed up. Liv thought being Grounded was going to do her in for good but she seems absolutely fine. However, when a high-priority mission arises forcing the best of the best back to North Island old feelings begin to stir forcing Liv to deal with feelings she has buried. Not only that, but Bradley (Rooster) Bradshaw is gonna force new feelings causing Liv to question the walls she had perfectly put in place.

I'm running late. I know I am because Bob has texted me, worried that I had ditched him like I'd ever do that. I haven't seen my best friend in three months. I wouldn't just ditch the chance to meet up with him. Which Bob knows. He just gets nervous after a bit.

I wasn't expecting Warlock to interrupt me on my way out the door with some more information on how I'm to report tomorrow morning for my debrief on the upcoming mission.

It's one thing to skim over the details in the packet that Cyclone gave me, but it will be a whole other thing to hear it in full tomorrow. I can only imagine the mountain of worry that is going to encompass me tomorrow.

Warlock had been gentle and kind when he spoke to me just like he always is. He is a lot less subtle than Cyclone when it comes to his affection and slight favoritism toward me. So as he talked about my debrief and other responsibilities that Cyclone didn't mention, Warlock checks in on me. Asking me if I'm okay. If it's too much.

Is it?

I don't really know yet. None of the previous missions I have been working on have ever had this close of a resemblance to my last. I don't know how I'm gonna handle it. Not really anyway.

What I do know is that it is going to be extremely dangerous and unpredictable, and I really need someone to come home from this one if he's picked.

The thought of kidnapping Bob appears back in my brain again. I could lock him away for a few weeks, maybe drive him down to Tess' place. We would hang out with baby Thea and all would be well.

No, I can't do that.

I also agreed to this mission.

I don't need Cyclone to worry about more than he already does, which he would if I suddenly backed out now. No I could do this, I can do this. I'm just gonna be writing analytical reports on the aviators performance. That's it.

I can defintley do that.

After Warlock had finished giving me some last minute details I had rushed home changing into the first pair of pants and tee I saw. My hair is down from it's bun and it's now blowing around rapidly from the wind of my open window. My AC doesn't really work but I haven't had time to take it in yet.

I pull a little hazardously into a parking spot next to a cyan colored bronco. I wish I had time to admire it but instead I rush out of my car.

The Hard Deck is bustling like it normally is on a Friday. I spot Penny first, she's wearing a devilish grin as the talks to the man in front of her. Her eyes trail behind him briefly and spot me. I make a beeline towards her and she is beaming by the time I reach the bar.

"Hey Liv! Bob says your late." She slides away from the man in front of her and I get a good look at him.

"Yeah I know I am." I roll my eyes before I turn towards the man Penny was talking with to get a better look, he offers me a kind smile and a nod of his head.

Holy crap.

It dawns on me why I recognize him.

Well I guess I'm getting a head start.

"Captian Mitchell." I nod my head and he looks confused.

"I don't think we've met."

"You havent." Penny butts in and slides my usual in front of me. "Bob's by the pool tables." She gestures her head in his direction.

I thank her before pushing off of the bar sipping on my drink as I do so. Robert Floyd is one of the many aviators around the pool tables. He's glancing down at his watch, no doubt checking the time for me again. I smile, he is the same old Bobby as in high school. A flashback of seeing Bob waiting on the front steps of our school checking his watch anxiously as he waits for me and Andy to arrive flashes through my mind. It brings a warm smile to my lips.

"Floyd!" I call as I grow closer.

His head snaps up and a large dopey grin spreads onto the man's cheeks. He straightens up moving past the two men who are standing next to him, who are now also looking at me now with cocked eyebrows.

"Dang Liv, you are losing your touch. I mean 20 minutes late… tut tut tut." He shakes his head at me all while keeping that grin on his face.

Staring at him now I almost forget why I was so scared to see him. Why there's a perpetual knot that's been growing in my stomach since I read over the mission.

I can't dwell on that now. Instead I mirror his grin.

"As if Bobby, you can blame Warlock and the old lady in front of me on my drive over for the delay."

Bob and I meat in the middle.

"Blaming old ladies Liv? Now that's just cruel." He feigns a look of dissapointment at me and I laugh as I l grab one of his shoulder and move to hug him tighly. I'm careful to not spill my drink over his head

"So Warlock is an old lady now? I'll make sure to tell him that tomorrow morning."

Bob's laugh reveberates through me as his chest shakes. I breathe him in, he smells like he always does, he smells like mint. I know it's because of the pack he always keeps in his pocket but it reminds me of home. It reminds me that things will be okay.

I pull back after a moment but Bob stays close his eyes roaming over my face. Searching for any hints that I may not be okay. He finds none.

"I am sorry I'm late though. I tried my best to speed but I couldn't bring myself to pass by the poor old lady." I say and Bob shakes his head at me.

"It's a miracle how that old junk box you call a car is able to go above 40 at all, let alone speed."

I gasp holding a hand above my heart.

"Robert Benjamin Floyd, do not talk about my baby like that. Don't forget she got you to your senior prom and graduation mister so be grateful for her."

Bob rolls his eyes at me but there's still that endearing smile on his face. "It furthers my point about how that thing is nearing it's end Liv."

I shake my head at him narrowing my eyes playfully.

"Hate to break up this little reunion. But you gonna introduce us to your friend, Bobby?" A voice pipes up from behind Bob's frame.

Bob's jaw twitches of the use of the nickname not coming from me. He doesn't comment on it though as he steps back revealing me to the group of aviators who are reguarding the two of us with curious glances.

Bob wraps an arm around my shoulders.

I feel warm with all the eyes that are now staring at me.

Which seems a bit crazy to me because I use to revel in the attention. Even before I became a pilot and that naval aviator confidence was injected into my veins I didn't mind the attention. Since the incident though I find myself hating it more and more. I never know if they're staring at my face or the awful scars that poke out from behind my shoulders and peak out around the base of my neck.

"Everyone this is Leutienant Liv Fairdon, callsign: Queenie. We went to highschool and the academy together so we are old friends." Bob introduces.

All at once I see a ripple of recognition flow through the group. I should have expected this, but nonetheless, I feel my throat tighten and my palms begin to sweat. I force the smile on my lips to stay.

"The legendary Queenie, the one with..." The blonde man who piped up is cut off by a woman who claps him on the back with a loud laugh that leaves her lips.

"With three confirmed air to air kills. Looks like I was mistaken Bagman you are not the only one." She exclaims looking a little too pleased to rub it into the mans face. She turns to me. "I didn't realize you were still flying. Everyone said you left after your last mission." The last part is spoken gently but I still feel Bob go rigid beside me.

The blonde man is glaring slightly at the back at the girl's head, who doesn't seem to notice or care.

"I'm not flying actually. I'm an advisory analyst now, probably why you didn't hear about my return." I say it casually like it doesn't pain my heart a little at the reminder that I am stuck on the ground.

Sure it was hard to fly after Andy but I felt so close to him back up in the sky after the incident and that wasn't an option anymore. Clara's words ring in my head. "You have maybe one or two flights left Liv, but after that, it's too much. Your body can't handle the pressure and stress, not anymore."

I had one flight after the incident and now I have one left. A gift from Admiral Simpson after he discovered that I could never fly permanently again.

"Well that's a shame Queenie, I would have enjoyed having some actual competition. I guess you being decommisioned though does give me a chance to beat your record." The blonde grins at me, a cocky smirk on his face.

"What a cowboy." I hear Andy's voice say in the back of my head. He would've already been talking circles around Hangman, getting into an ego war about missions if he was here. He always did that when a pilot got too cocky around me, his brotherly protectiveness showing through.

"It wouldn't have been much of a competition, but now you may have a chance." I retort.

Bob stiffles a small laugh but the man just seems fueled by my comment. His eyes ignite with a fire and I can already tell he will be causing me problems on this mission.

"Let's introduce you to everyone. That is Hangman." Bob points to the blonde man who is still staring at me intensely. "Over there is Payback, Fanboy and Coyote. There's Rooster and then Pheonix, she's going to be my pilot."

I follow Bob's finger, I'll have to committ their faces and callsigns to memory because by Monday it will be my job to analyze and critique their performance.

I sip at my drink, hoping that the alchohol with ease the tightness in my throat and the nerves knotting in my stomach. Only now do I realize that somehow I have nearly emptied my glass. I must have ben sipping on it nervously throughout this conversation.

Bob's arm has fallen from it's place around my shoulders, and he has relaxed slightly falling into a conversation with Fanboy who had moved around the pool table closer to us.

"Nice to finally put a face to all those stories I've heard about the famous Queenie." A deep voice draws my attention and I am met with a gaudy Hawaiian shirt that reminds me of those dads in cheesy vacation movies. It's Rooster, I'm almost sure of his callsign.

"I wouldn't believe half of them. Drunk navy men tend to exagerate." I turn to him fully.

The Hawaiian shirt is over a tightly stretched white shirt and I try not to stare. Instead, I move my eyes up to lock with his hazel ones. Rooster is attractive, I will give him that, despite the 80's stache he gots going on.

"Oh, I doubt that, you ruled the skies even in flight school, it's how you got your call sign, right?"

I chuckle softly.

"Those cocky boys made it far too enjoyable to kick their asses. It's the only reason why I did so well, that and I had an amazing WSO."

Rooster nods and I see a flash of something in his eyes, sympathy maybe. I never know much people do know about Andy, or Casper as he was better known in the Navy. I know that people know he died, along with three other aviators around the same time, but they don't know the specifics. They really don't know the horrors of that mission.

"Well then Queenie, you will have to tell me the real stories one day," Rooster says, slightly grinning.

"Call me Liv, please. I don't really go by Queenie anymore."

Rooster nods.

"Alright, I'll call you Liv on one condition."

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"You let me buy you a drink."

I laugh. "Alright, seems easy enough."

Rooster grins. I tell him my standard drink order and he starts toward the bar disappearing into the crowd.

I turn back to Bob who is already staring at me, a teasing look on his face.

"Were you flirting?" He muses softly.

I roll my eyes. "No Bobby I wasn't." I turn towards the door as an I hear loud whistles. "Looks like the others are arriving." I direct my attention to the wave of aviators now entering the bar.

I can see Bob give me a look out of the corner of my eyes. One that says "I will bug you about it later."

"That's Harvard, Yale, Omaha, shit that's Fritz." Payback mutters surveying them as they enter.

"Holy crap, how serious is this mission?"Fanboy pipes up and despite having more knowledge on the subject I don't answer them.

Bob glances at me but I just send him a wink. I will explain to him later in the comfort of my home just how serious and dangerous this mission is. Explain that he needs to be the best he has ever been. I will also need to figure out how to handle this mission. I guess I could shut down, look at it from just an analytical point of you, be hyper-rational, and don't think of this mission any other way. However, as I glance around the aviators, I have a feeling that won't work for me.

"That's what I'm beginning to wonder too." Rooster appears so suddenly back beside me, my drink in his hand.

"That was fast."

Rooster shrugs his shoulders at me throwing a smile my way as he sips from his beer.

"You guys are missing the bigger picture," Pheonix calls out turning from her spot at the pool table.

"Then enlighten us Nix," Rooster replies.

"Everyone here is the best of the best, right?"

They nod.

"Who in the hell are they gonna get to teach us."

I lift my drink to my lips, hiding the small smile that appeared on my lips. However as if realizing that I am still here and what I do, heads turn in my direction. They arch eyebrows at me willing me to spill the information that I know. When I don't immediately say anything Fanboy takes a step toward me.

"Do you know?" Fanboy asks.

"Of course, I know, but where would the fun be if I told ya?" I grin.

They groan at me. "Easy lady and gents, you will all find out on Monday morning."

I can see Rooster shaking his head at me. I turn mine in his direction just as he sends a wink toward me and disappears into the crowd once again.

"You gonna tell us anything about the mission," Pheonix asks a teasing grin on her own lips. I have a feeling she already knows the answer.

"Nope."

Bob shakes his head at me an amused grin on his lips before falling back into his conversation with Fanboy. He hasn't strayed too far from me tonight probably feeling obligated as my friend to stick close by. Pheonix gives a shake of her own head before turning back to her pool game.

I stay in my place watching the aviators interact with each other. They will all be pushed to their limits soon, and will all be fighting for their spots on this mission.

The music cuts off with a chorus of groans and noises of annoyance coursing through the bar. Somewhere through it, I hear chords from a piano.

I watch as Pheonix drags Bob and the others in the direction of the piano where Rooster had disappeared too. Hangman however stands confused by the pool table obviously not liking the interruption of his song.

Somewhere behind me, the bell is rung. I bow my head as a soft laugh leaves my lips. Oh Penny, did that poor man really deserve it? I know of their history, just like I know of Admiral Kazansky's fondness for the man, no doubt the reason he is here. I only hope Penny does okay with him being back. Sure the woman acts like a mother to me and definitely doesn't need my protection but she still has it.

Hangman and Coyote smirk as they take off to the bar. I should stop them, and tell them that they are about to throw out their commanding officer. I don't though. I can only smile to myself as I watch as they along with Payback toss the captain out onto the sand.

I down the rest of my drink in two big gulps before pushing off from my spot exiting the bar from a side door. Hangman closes the door loudly behind him not noticing me as I watch Captain Mitchell scramble up from the sand.

He doesn't notice me as he stumbles and tries to shake the sand off himself.

I take a deep breath.

"Are you alright Captain?"

His hand snaps up to meet mine, halting his pursuit to dust the sand off his jeans.

"I'm fine, although I would appreciate an introduction if I'm being honest"

"Lieutenant Liv Fairdon, I will be your advisory analyst on this mission, and in the concept of complete transparency, I've been also tasked with keeping an eye on you," I say and he seems a bit taken aback by my honesty.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, Admiral Simpson asked me himself this evening."

He scoffs softly to himself. "Well, then he's probably already told you everything you need to know about me then?" Captain Mitchell shoves his hand in his back pocket as he stares at me, a look a mixture of annoyance and perplexment.

"No he didn't tell me anything, but I've heard a lot about you, Captain, from Admiral Kazansky."

His eyes widen only for a second before he looks down. "Oh."

"I've spent a lot of time with him the past year, helping him get his naval affairs in order. Though he spent a lot of time in between talking about you, and how great of a pilot you are. Not better than him but still." I pause taking a step toward the man. "Both Admiral Kazansky and Admiral Simpson have done and mean a lot to me. I know one dislikes you greatly and one cares for you immensely but I don't really care about either of their opinions."

I remember those long hours locked away in Admiral Kazansky's study as we poured over old flight reports and studies. As I patiently sat on the stool as he typed out stories when he got tired of staring at the pages in front of him. A lot was of his old WSO, Slider, who joined us once or twice but an even amount was of Captain Mitchell who stares back at me now with skepticism in his eyes and his mouth slightly agape as he looks me over.

"All I care about from you is that you make sure that the person I love comes home... That all of them come home. I don't care about your past or your stubbornness or anything else that lead Admiral Simpson to dislike you so, all I care about is them coming home. Do we have an understanding?"

He doesn't say anything, just stares at me. After a moment he nods.

"We have an understanding."

I nod curtly allowing my body to go rigid. "Good... Captain Mitchell." I salute before turning quickly to my feet and heading back into the bar.

Bob spots me after a moment and waves me over. I am quickly tucked under his arm as he singly loudly and off-key as Rooster pounds on the piano keys to "Great Balls of Fire."

My heart is still pounding loudly in my ears from my confrontation with Maverick, but I manage to fall into Bob's side as I join in the song. I catch Rooster's eye's behind his sunglasses and there's a gleam in there as he loudly sings the chorus, the veins in his neck pop and strain turning red as he practically yells it.

I can barely hear my own voice as I yell along with him.

Everyone is bumping along, swinging randomly to the song. Even Hangman has joined in, standing beside Coyote as he nods his head along.

I really hope Maverick understands me, because, while I want Bob to come home so badly that it physically hurts me to think otherwise, as I watch the group singly awfully to the song I know that I really need all of them to come home. I don't want to see their faces hung beside Andy and the others in the long hallway near my office.

I really need Maverick to succeed.

I know it took me forever. I just didn't think any of my drafts were good enough!

But anyway here it is!

[~~~~] Next Chapter- Coming Soon!

[tinyboxxtink]

"Caught In The Storm" *Part 4*

I'm telling you ladies and gents, it's like Christmas Morning right now!!!!

Enjoy it for a bit more. <3

Tag List:

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@lolliepopsicle

Part 5

----

“Are you sure?” Kelsey asked you.

“I'm telling you it was longer than just a friendly hug,” You insisted.

When you had gotten home after the awkward encounter with Rafael you obviously sat her down and began gossiping about it.

“Well I mean, he told you straight up that he wasn't in love with you honey,” She pointed out.

“And I know that he was full of shit,” you remarked.

“So are you gonna do anything about it?

“I don't know I just wish...ugh that he would admit it,” You groaned in frustration.

“Well.. sweetie he's a grown man you can't exactly force him to do what you want.”

“No.. but I can coerce him,” you smirked evenly.

“Oh god.. I don't even want to know what that means,” she laughed.

-----

Wednesday night rolled around and you arrived at Luigi's early for your “date”. You decided to sit at the bar and have a drink while you waited. You had gone all out for this. You had bought a new dress, you had shaved everywhere, you'd even gotten your hair and makeup done by a professional.

This was it, this was the moment. You nervously played with the napkin your drink came on in your hands, eventually crumbling it in between your fingers from being so nervous.

“Wow I'd love to be the guy on the other end of that napkin you're so nervous about seeing,” A voice came beside you. A very nice looking young man, blonde haired and blue eyed with a killer smile. And that smile was aimed at you.

“Oh yeah just waiting on someone,” You nervously giggled running your hands through your hair

“Well… Do you mind if I wait with you? My date is either running super late or I got stood up,” he laughed, gesturing to the bartender for another drink.

“I'm Nathan, by the way,” He held out his hand for you to take. “Y/N,” You shook his hand back.

“To waiting,” he held up his glass.

“To waiting,” You smiled awkwardly, clinking your glasses together.

Outside the bar, Rafael walked up and saw you in the window, talking to Nathan. He saw how beautiful you looked, and he knew that he would not be able to conceal his true feelings for you if he went in there.

But he wasn't entirely sure that that's what he wanted to do; Even though he had come up with this idea himself. He watched you engaging and flirting with Nathan for a bit before turning and walking back towards another bar. He pulled out his phone and texted you.

You felt your phone vibrate and you checked your phone. It was a text from Rafa

“Sorry I got a bunch of paperwork. Need to stay late. Rain check?

Your heart sank, your face fell.

“Everything okay?” Nathan asked.

“Yeah well it looks like I got stood up too,” You sadly shrugged.

“Well, as long as we're both alone, would you like to get something to eat? “ He asked you with a golden smile.

“Sounds good,” you smiled.

------

“So he just stood you up?”

“Well I don't know. He said that he had a lot of work and that he wanted a rain check,”

“So he stood you up,” Kelsey finished for you.

“Yes he stood me up. I guess it wasn't meant to be,” You shrugged sadly

“So tell me about this new boy,” Kelsey changed the subject.

“I don't know. He's cute, smart, funny, a lawyer and half Rafael’s age,” You went on.

“So basically, perfect for you,” she left.

“Haha.” You rolled his eyes.

“Did you get his number?” Kelsey asked coyly.

“Maybe…” you smiled.

“Oh my God look at you, work it girl!” She giggled.

“Who knows if it'll go anywhere.. I lost my heart a long time ago,” You shrugged.

“Yeah well maybe it's time for you to take it back,'' Kelsey replied seriously.

-------

THE NEXT DAY

So what do we think our best tactic is? Olivia asked a spaced out Rafael. “Rafael? BARBA?”

“What?” Rafael was knocked back to Earth out of his thoughts. “Sorry Liv, what was the question?”

“Boy you have been somewhere else all day,'' Fin remarked. What is up with you?”

“Yeah I did dinner with Y/N not go well?” Nick asked.

“What?” Finn was suddenly interested.

“No it didn't go at all, because I didn't go,”

“Why not? Sonny asked.

“I think we all know why not..”. Rafael murmured.

“Are you serious?” Finn asked angrily. “Why would you do that?”

Rafael looked at him surprised. “I’m sorry, what?” He asked.

“Rafa…” Olivia started.

“What? WHAT?? He looked around the table for an answer.

"Look it's one thing for you to date Y/N, it's a whole other problem when you fuck with her emotions,” Fin answered.

“What are you talking about, Fin?” Rafael asked, completely oblivious.

“What do you mean, what do I mean?” He asked back angrily.

“I think we all saw the little song and dance you guys did the other day when she came to bring us lunch,” He looked around the table and the squad who all nodded.

“That girl is seriously in love with you and I think you feel the same,” Finn continued. "And I might not like it, but I also don't want to see her unhappy. So if you got her hopes up, and then you ditched her, you better go fix it right now.”

“...And you would be okay with that?” Rafael asked. “All of you?” He looked around the table.

“I'm not thrilled with the idea either,” Olivia sighed. But I also want Y/N to be happy, no matter what that means.” She put a hand on Rafael’s shoulder.

“And also, I want you to be happy.”

Rafael took several seconds looking back and forth, his mind reeling trying to figure out what he should do. Finally he stood up.

“I’m gonna do this,” He smiled, running out of the station before anyone could answer.

-----

Rafael didn't know exactly what he was going to say to you, but he knew he'd know in the moment as soon as he saw you.

He grabbed an Uber and told him to book it to the Supper Club. When he got there, he immediately went to go find you. He spotted you through the crowd looking gorgeous as ever. He made his way over to you but right before he got to you, he saw Nathan walk up to you and kiss you deeply.

His heart sank, his blood ran cold, his face turned pale. How could this have happened?

“They make a cute couple, don't they?” a voice behind him asked. He turned to see Kelsey standing there with an evil smile.

“I don't understand…” Rafael trailed off, still staring at you and the man.

“What's to understand Rafael?” Kelsey asked, approaching him.

“You toyed with her emotions, you stood her up, you rejected her. Did you really think that she would sit around and pine for you forever?”

“But she and I…” Rafael stammered.

“If you think for one second that I'm going to let you walk over there and confuse her even more, you're stupider than I thought.” Kelsey snarled.

“I don't want to confuse her anymore Kelsey!” He exclaimed. I want her... I love her,” Rafael said emotionally.

“If you really love her, then you'll let her be happy,” Kelsey replied.

Don't you think she needs to have all of the information to make that decision herself? Rafael sneered.

“I think that you're just upset that somebody else is playing with your toys and you don't like it,” Kelsey sneered back.

“That's not true!” Rafael defended.

“I think that you took too long to figure out what you want and now that she's finally moving on, you need to let her,'' Kelsey lowered her voice.

“I…” Rafael looked at you with Nathan sadly, tears lining his eyes.

“If you really love her then you need to let her go,'' Kelsey said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Rafael looked at you then he looked at Kelsey then back at you and then down at the floor.

“You're right…” Rafael whispered tears falling down his cheeks.” It's not fair to her.. I'll leave her be,”

“Thank you,'' Kelsey said. And with that Rafael turned and left.

[writinginslowmotion]

I'd like to hear a bit about Paper Hearts and Bucket List if you feel up for it and have the time :)

Thank you for the questions, @viskafrer! Sorry I'm just now getting around to answering these. The Bucket List is a fairly new idea of mine. I got the idea while on my way to work, and scribbled it down quickly. I can't wait to develop it. The basic blurb: two friends decide to check off the items on a shared bucket list, upon learning that one has been diagnosed with a terminal disease. Paper Hearts is my oldest WIP. I consider it my baby. Plotting, planning, and writing this story has been an arduous journey, and there have been times when I stopped working on it altogether, but it will always have a special place in my heart. It's undergone so many changes, but I've had fun with them. It is a young adult mystery/suspense story. Paper Hearts synopsis: Liv is a mysterious creative. Nobody can ever accurately guess what she is thinking at any given moment. When she disappears in the still of the night, in mid-November, nobody notices at first. She slips away quietly.

After a while, however, people suspected that she had run away. She's done that so many times in the past, so, naturally, the police aren't too keen to search for her. But her brother, Peyton, knows better. And he won't rest until he finds out the truth behind her disappearance.

[tobesensation-9]

‘When You Fall’ Pt. 1 (Youngbin x Reader)

Genre: Angst, Romance (Mentions of breaking up, heartbreak, grief, fluff) 

Synopsis: Inspired by Sam Kim’s song, You and Youngbin recollect memories of your past relationship after running into each other one year later. 

December 1st 

You thought you had set your alarm for 9:15am today. But when you rolled over and picked up your ringing phone from your nightstand and swiped to answer the call without thinking, you realised it was way passed 9:15am. 

“Y/N! Where are you!” Your mother yells over the phone.

You snap out of your grogginess and sit up in bed. You were supposed to meet with your mom to help her shop for Christmas gifts for your family at 9:45. You remove your phone from your face to look at the time and it’s 10:30. Oops.

“I’m sorry mom. I had a tiring day at work yesterday so I overslept. Go ahead and start without me, I’ll catch up with you. Just tell me what store you’re in when I get there.”

“Okay sweetie. Don’t have me waiting too long okay? I’ll treat you to some lunch when you get here too.”

“Okay. Thanks mom. See you soon.”

You’ve been feeling stagnant lately, like all your hard work hasn’t been recognized. You’ve been working super hard at work, work on a new PR project for a clothing store and it was eating you up. You also had to worry about all the gifts to get you family and try to make your siblings and nieces especially feel batter about the holidays this year with everything happening.

But there was something else that had you feeling a little down. Your phone buzzes at a news article notification your received and as you look to see you notice the date.

December 1st. It’s been a year already? Was it just ironic? A coincidence? No it couldn’t be.

You look up and talk to nothing in particular, referring to the universe, “You did that to remind to let go right?”

You give a small smile and shrug standing at your sink counter. You look at yourself in your mirror holding eye contact. Yeah, it’s definitely because of that. Because of him.

November 28th

You and your best friend are over your place for drinks after a hard week at work.

“And then he said, ‘Liv, can you go replace the paper in the copier for once. It doesn’t seem like you ever do that. It’s nice to try something new.’ How could be assume I never replace the printer with paper! He never asked hey, ‘Hey Liv did you leave the printer empty?”

Your friend crushes her third canned beer and reaches for another can. “Oh, we only have one more.”

You look up at the coffee table from the floor. “Oh yeah.” You were kinda tipsy yourself having crushed three beers yourself. “I’ll go and grab some more from the convienece store. I’ll be back.”

Your friend nods and grabs another piece of fried chicken to eat with her new can of beer. You threw on an over-sized sweatshirt not caring to change your pajama pants and some sneakers on with your hills hanging out. You didn’t even bother to but the shoes on all the way. Two minutes you walk into the store go straight back to grab two boxes of beer and look for any ramen and chips your could add to tonight’s menu. As you walk to turn into the aisle with ramen you bump into someone’s arm.

“Oh sorry.” You nod quickly without any regard to looking at their eyes and keep it moving.

“Um.... y/n?”

You stop in place, frozen. You turn around at the familiar voice.

“It’s you isn’t it?”

You look up at the figure talking to you. As you looked up and scanned the body, something about it was strangely familiar. Once you reached the half-covered face you knew exactly who it was. You didn’t even need to see the whole face, you knew who it was just by his eyes.

“Oh. Hey Youngbin.” Your greeting, you didn’t know if it sounded too excited or if it was too forced. You definitely didn’t want to sound unhappy, although happy wouldn’t be the word to use to describe how you felt seeing him after all this time. Your stomach performed somersaults as he giggled a bit and greeted you back. You could tell he was smiling, his eyes were crinkled in the corners, even with him wearing a face mask.

A genuine smile, you didn’t know how he could show you such a thing, after so long. Part of it still pained you, another part of you missed it. A lot.

“Have company?” He asks eyeing the boxes of beer you were holding.

“Yeah just me and Liv.” You try to ease yourself away to scan the ramen options. Then you remembered that your had sirloin at the house, so you decided to get the instant noodles packs for Chapaghetti.

“If you’re getting more things I’ll take this.” Before you can object, Youngbin already holds the two boxes of beer and motions you to go ahead and pick the ramens you were eyeing.

Once you pickup the packs of ramen and some bags of potato chips, you sit your items on the counter. When you do Youngbin sits his two items on the counter as well and tells the cashier that all of the items were his. “No you don’t have to I’m-”

“I know how you can get when you drink a little after working. You didn't bring cash did you?” 

You check your sweatshirt pocket and realise that you did leave the apartment without any cash. You looked down and felt your face getting hot. 

After he paid for everything he hands you the with your ramen and his two drinks as he holds the beers. “What are you doing?” 

He looks at, raising his eyebrows, “C’mon I’ll take this for you. You still live a couple minutes away right?” 

Your face was starting to feel hotter and hotter by the minute. “Y-yeah.” 

He starts walking in the direction of your apartment and you trail behind him, hesitantly. Why was he doing all this? You guys ended on such a sour note, well at least that’s how it felt. Did he not feel that way? 

Your thoughts questioned his actions more and more. You over-analysed so much to the point where you didn’t even realize you were at your apartment building until Youngbin said something. “Ahh..could you grab the door me?” You shake your head and realize that you were about to pass your own apartment building. You walk back mutter a “sorry” and pushed the door open for him. He giggles behind you to himself as you pressed your floor number not the elevator. 

The whole time the two of you walked, you hadn't uttered a word to each other. That was until he asked you a question the minute the two of you walked into the elevator and the doors shut. 

“That voicemail I sent you that one time,” your stomach immediately dropped at the subject. “Did you ever listen to it?” 

Maybe about a few months or so after the two of you separated he called you randomly one day and left a voicemail. You’ve always wanted to listen to it, but you were too scarred. You’d always hover your finger over the play button, a curious part of you wanting to listen to the two minute voicemail, the part that missed you. But the hurt part of you, the part of you that wanted to hold a grudge, wouldn't allow you to. 

“I...uh. I honestly count bring myself to listen to it.” 

You see him look over at you through your peripheral and he stars at you. You never look back over at him. He then gives a “hmm” and nods. You finally reach your floor and the two of you walk out to your door. As you pull out you enter your code on your door security system you here quietly say behind you , “Whenever you’re ready, just let me know.” At that you quickly push the door open, hand him his bag, take the beer and rush into the apartment. 

“Y/nnnnnn! What took you soooo longggg,” Liv whines as you put everything down and try to hurry up and hand her a beer before she notices Youngbin hovering in your doorway. “Yeah I know I'm sorry. Here.” But as you try to han her the can of beer from the box she turns around makes instant eye contact with Youngbin.

“Oh, wait y/n is that Youngbin? Youngbin?” 

She stumbles to get up and waves happily at Youngbin. He waves back and asks her how she’s been. 

“So are you guys back together? Why didn't you tell me? I would've understood, but you didnt have to keep it from me.” 

Before Youngbin could say anteing you immediately deny with a sharp “no” hand her, her beer and try to dismiss Youngbin. “Well he has to go now, I'm just gone send him off, say bye Liv.” 

“Byeeee come back soon. Y/n still misses you by the way, you still have a chance. I’ve always rooted for you!” 

You slam the door behind you, but he could already what she said. You see him smiling under his mask, just by looking at his eyes again. 

“I see Liv is still, Liv.” “Yeah..” The two of you stand in front of your door for the longest time not saying anything, before he says “Well, I should get back.” 

“Oh yeah, um.... thanks for the help.”

His eyes smile at you. He nods and turns around toward the elevator. A part of you wanted to ask what he meant by “let me know when you’re ready.” Before you could stop yourself you yelled his name and walked over to him.

“Yeah?”

You stop and stare at him studying what you could see of his face. “What did you mean?”

“By what?”

“When you mumbled let me know when you’re ready?”

He looks into your eyes and holds eye contact for a few seconds. By the time the elevator dings and the doors open he just says, “The voicemail will tell you.”

He steps into the elevator and turns to you and says, “Just let me know when you’re ready.” Then the doors close.

December 1st

You take a quick shower before getting ready and you jump in the car to finally meet your mom.

When you arrive at the shopping center, you call your mom to see what store she’s in. Not so ironically it was a store that you and Youngbin would go to all the time. One of his favorites.

You walked into the store and found yourself mom in the men’s clothing section of the store looking for clothes for your dad.

“Hey sweetie are you okay?”

“Yeah like I said just tired from work. Did dad want new clothes?”

She turns around to you with a jacket in hand to get your approval. 

“Do you know your father asked me to get him a jacket. I looked up pictures of jackets from different stores to show and he didn’t like any of them. Not long after that, I see him looking up jackets to bye. I had to scold him right then and there. It already hard to buy gifts for him and he just has to make it harder on me.” 

You just look at your mom, smile and shake your head, it sounds like something your father would do. 

“So what do you think about this one?” 

She holds a black windbreaker jacket, it seemed like it was perfect for your dad. “I thin he’d love it. It’s perfectly his style.” 

Walking around and shopping with you mom was a good escape from your memories of a few days ago. Along with all the memories of your passed relationship from almost two years ago now. 

You soon arrive at a cafe, find an area away from large groups of people and talk to your mom for a little bit. You order a latte and and a bacon grilled cheese sandwich. Your mom orders cranberry juice and a Caesar salad. She asks work, friends, and other things. Along with those things she mentions Youngbin, you guess she too realised its been a year since you broke up. 

“I um....actually saw him the other day.” The minute you say this your mother stars at you, her eyes glazed with sorrow. She knew how much the break up affected you, its not that she pitied you because she knew you were strong. But she looked to make sure you were okay. 

“Really? How?”

“I was drinking one night with Liv. Went to the convenience to get us some more beers and ran into him there. He helped me with my things and walked me home.” 

“He was always sweet. Thats one thing that will never change.” 

You nod. “You know that voicemail he left me, he asked me about it.” 

Her eyes get wide and she raises her eyebrows, “Really? You still haven't listened to it right?” 

“Yeah I haven't. When I told him that he just nodded and told me to let me know when I’m ready.” 

“What does that mean?” Your mom expressed the frustration that you felt inside, stabbing her fork into her salad and eating some lettuce and cucumber. 

“He just told me to listen to the voicemail and I’ll find out.” 

You hug your mom and kiss her on the cheek once you helped her take all the gifts to your parents house. You see your father in passing to and give him. hug and a kiss. You wanted to stay to talk to your dad but you weren't really in the mood. Talking about Youngbin again, made you feel a lot of things you couldn't explain. Sad, frustrated, angry, insecure. All the feelings you felt when you first broke up came rushing back to you. 

You came home and stripped yourself of your clothes immediately, walking to your bathroom and running water in the bath tub. You submerged yourself into the filling tub, and laid your head back against the cool tile. Suddenly a tear rolled down your cheek as you laid there, in the warmth of the tub. Normal crying was easy to let out, with sudden emotions, but pent up emotions, resulted in strained crying. Strained crying always had you slightly hyperventilating, with those repetitive gasps and a strained and pained throat. This was the type of cry you were going to have because of him, you knew it.

Pt. 2 Coming Soon!

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

First Christmas

Just fluff. This was inspired by one of Raul's SVU master interview he did and he was wearing a bracelet. 

Warning: slight language.

Enjoy x

"Do you have to go out dressed like that when I'm not there? I'm tempted not to let you go and keep you all to myself”

Rafael had his arms wrapped around your waist while you were trying to finish getting ready to go out. It was your first squad Christmas party, the first work thing without Nick and your first Christmas with Rafael.

Your lease was ending in your apartment after the New Year, so you started to move your stuff in slowly and mix your things in with his.

You guys had a small Christmas tree up and a beautiful big wreath on the door. Your Mum was coming to the city for Christmas and Boxing Day, staying at your apartment during her time here. This was the first time Lucia and her would be meeting. You and Sonny were having Christmas off, but you were both working over the New Year’s.

"I'll only be a few hours Rafi, then I'll be home and all yours" you spun around in his arms and kissed his nose.

"Well don't drink too much, and if you need me to come and get you just call"

He started to run his hand up your thigh along your stockings up under your dress, while he was kissing your neck.

"Rafi-I have-to-finish-oh Raf." You moaned as he kissed your neck and cupped your core through your stockings and panties.

You had black stockings on with a red long sleeved dress that came to your mid thighs, with a scoop neck and an elastic waist, black ballet flats, your hair was down curled with a piece of holly pinned in it. He kissed his way up your neck to your ear,

"Sure I can't make you change your mind and stay? You’re like a present that needs to be unwrapped" he whispered in your ear and you bit your bottom lip. Before you had a chance to answer, your phone rang, it was Amanda,

"Hey Amanda"

"Hey Y/N, I'm down stairs"

"Ok be right there" you smiled at Rafael, he rolled his eyes taking his hands away from you while you hung up.

"She sure knows how to cock block me doesn't she" you laughed cupping his cheek.

"Don't be like that Rafi, we will continue this when I get home" you winked at him.

Liv had booked a table at one of the best Italian restaurant in the area and then you guys were going to go out drinking and dancing. No one had to work the next day, but you were all on call just in case. To add a little bit of fun because it was Christmas, you all decided to dress in red or green. You all looked so festive.

You and Amanda got to the restaurant first and waited for everyone to come. Once you guys were shown to your seats, you all seen the table was set for 6. You were sitting next to Sonny, Amanda was across from you between Liv and Fin, with a spare seat next to you placed.

“Are we expecting someone else?" Amanda asked.

"Yes, me" you knew that voice anywhere

"Rafi" you smiled as you looked up.

He was dressed in a black suit with a white button down, with a red scarf and his brown over coat. You got up from your seat and pretty much jumped into his arms. He wrapped his arms around your waist and yours around his neck and you kissed him hello.

"Hey Hermosa" and he kissed you again.

Rafael said hello to everyone and took his seat on the other side of you.

"Glad you made it Barba, Your just as much part of the team as the rest of us" Liv smiled and Rafael looked at you with a wink and a smirk.

You guys all ordered entries and dinner. And your drinks arrived.

"I want to do a toast" Liv started "I think of all my years at SVU this one has to have been one of my favourite. We had two new squad members join us and it was like they had always been here. We had some tough stuff happen, we lost someone we all loved very much. But we also had a lot of good stuff happen. I wouldn't want to be walking through tough stuff or the good stuff without you all by my side. Cheers" you all clinked your glasses.

Dinner was amazing and you all decided to go to a night club one block down. Excitement filled you when you saw what club it was. It was a retro club that mostly played 80's music. You had been wanting to check it out with Rafael but something always came up the nights you wanted to go. Little did you know, he actually suggested to Liv that you guys should all go there tonight after dinner because it was so close.

It was cold outside, so you guys walked quickly to get to where you needed to go to get back inside. Rafael had his arm wrapped around your shoulders as you guys were walking behind the others.

"Rafi?"

"Yes Hermosa?"

"How long ago did Liv invite you to tonight?" He laughed

"About 2 weeks ago. I wanted to leave it as a surprise" you giggled

"What if I had turned around earlier and said I would have stayed home with you?"

He lent close to your ear

"I would have made it worth your while. But now you will have to wait till we get home" he gave you a cheeky smile.

****

The lead up to Christmas went fairly quick and was there before you knew it. Nothing major had come in by Christmas Eve so Liv gave you all the nod to leave early, which worked in your favour. Sonny offered to go with you to the grocery store to pick up some last minute stuff for Christmas day.

Your Mum would be in New York late that night, but would be at yours and Rafael’s in the morning. You and Rafael had promised to go to Lucia’s for Christmas Eve dinner, then midnight mass, then she would be at your guys place for Christmas lunch. You had all decided no presents this year, you all just wanted to spend time together. But you did organise a couple of small things for Rafael that he didn't know about.

"So Y/N, your Mum's are meeting uh? Are ya nervous?"

"Not really Sonny, I think they will get along. It's just a big step you know. Moving in together and then mothers meeting during Christmas"

Sonny patted you in the back, "It will be fine."

Sonny drove you back and helped you take the shopping up and you turned on the jug to make him a coffee. Sonny was no Nick, but you had a cute little brother sister bond thing going on. You made the coffee and you both moved to the dining table.

"Ya know- I'm no Nick. They are big shoes to fill you guys were tight. He was your best friend. But I'm glad I was partnered with you. Not that there is anything wrong with Fin or Rollins. But we make a good team" you giggled.

"Sonny I'm glad you’re my partner, you’re a great person and you are one of my best friends, I trust you with my life." you smiled at him. A big smile came to his face.

"Same Y/N"

****

2am you and Rafael finally made it home. Dinner as amazing at Lucia's and midnight mass was beautiful. You both made your way to bed, knowing you had to be up early to start cooking for lunch.

Your Mum came early and helped you guys. You went into the bathroom to shower and get dressed. As you walked out, you could hear your mum and Rafael talking in the kitchen,

"Well you have my blessing Rafael, when the time is right you do did. I think what you have planned she is going to love it. I couldn't have picked anyone better than you if I tried"

Butterflies filled your tummy and a smiled pulled to your face, but you were pulled out of the feeling when there was a knock on the door.

Christmas lunch couldn't have gone any better. The mum's got along amazing, and Lucia had invited you all over the next day for Boxing Day for a Cuban meal. Lucia offered to drive your mum home and they left around 10. Everything had been cleaned and Rafael poured two glasses of wine.

"Hermosa, the wine is ready"

"Coming" you walked out of the bed room with two gifts and you sat next to Rafael, he looked at the presents in your lap.

"Hermosa, what did we say about presents this year?"

"I know, but they are just something small and it's our first Christmas together"

You handed them over to him.

"Open the rectangle one first" you smiled at him.

He ripped the paper off and a huge smile pulled to his face. It was a framed photo of you and him from your first date. It was a selfie you had taken. His arms were around your waist, you had one arm around his neck. You were cheek to cheek smiling hard. He looked up at so happy.

"You don't have many photos here, so I thought since I'm moving in we needed a photo of us around"

"I love it Hermosa, thank you"

"Don't thank me yet, you have another one to open"

He put the photo on the coffee table and started to unwrap the smaller square box. His eyes filled with tears when he seen the gold ID bracelet sitting inside. He pulled it off the pillow, looking at it closely. On the top of the bar it had 'Rafael' engraved on it, he turned it over and on the back 'I love you always'

He lent over and kissed you light on the lips.

"Here, I'll put it on for you" he looked at it shinning on his arm once you clipped it up.

"Well I'm glad I got you something as well" you both laughed.

He pulled out a small green velvet box from his pocket. Your tummy filled with butterflies. He turned his body towards you.

"Mi Hermosa, I have never been as happy as I have been the last few months. You’re the love of my life and I want to grow old with you. In this box is something very special. It was Abuela’s and I want you to have it as my commitment to you" he paused "This is a commitment ring. I'm committing to you that one day I'm going to marry you and have a family"

Your eyes were filled with tears as he opened the box, it was a sliver band with a blue square cut diamond with two small white square stones on either side. He pulled the ring out of the box and handed it to you.

"I want you to read what's engraved on the inside"

You moved the ring to the light 'Only You' was on the inside of the band. Tears fell down your cheeks, he took the ring off you, grabbed your right hand and slid the ring onto your ring finger.

"I'll never take it off Rafi"

[thatssonanii]

Familiar Face (3)

SVU Fic

A month had flown by and Olivia had yet to have the talk Elliot wanted to have. The flurry of cases they both had made that even easier for her.

"Hey, Cap. You busy?" Peach asked knocking lightly on the door.

Olivia waved her in, waiting for her to close the door and have a seat. "What can I do for you, Peach?"

"Just wanted to check on you. You've seemed out of it the last couple of weeks. You okay?"

"You're very observant," Olivia chuckled, "I'm alright, I promise."

Peach smiled, "You're not but it's okay, I know you don't know me yet. Whatever it is that's bothering you will work out."

"What about you? How do you like being here? Settled in okay?"

"I like it, its different from what I'm used to but a good different." Peach explained nodding her head. "I'm still getting use to Rollins though."

Olivia pushed her glasses up on her face to look at her phone, "Rollins is not fond of change at all. Its not you, its that. She'll come around though."

"I'll remember that. I'll leave you to whatever or whoever is on your phone." Peach left the office going to her desk looking through some paperwork.

"Busy tonight Rollins?" Fin asked twisting in his chair.

She looked away from her computer and shook her head. "Besides hanging with my two at home, no. Why?"

"Dinner tonight to celebrate Peach's first month with us and Nick's first month at violent crimes. You in?"

"Nick's at violent crimes?" She asked giving him her full attention. "I didn't know that."

Fin shrugged smiling, "Either way, we're celebrating. You comin?"

Rollins nodded, "Yeah, I'll go celebrate with him. I just gotta let the babysitter know I'll be later."

Peach chuckled under her breath at Rollins choice of words. The other detective had been making little remarks and doing little things to piss Peach off but it hadn't worked thus far.

"Who's all coming?" Kat asked

"Us four of course, Nick, Phoebe and Carisi. It'll be like a family reunion." Fin joked before picking up his ringing desk phone.

Rollins went back to her computer and rolled her eyes, "A family reunion with extras."

"What was that, Amanda?" Peach asked smiling.

"Nothing, nothing, just talking to myself. I hope you don't feel any way that you have to share your celebratory dinner with our old coworker."

"Nope, I don't. I actually suggested that Nick and I have our dinners together. Wouldn't make sense to have two separate ones."

Rollins glanced at her, "You suggested to share a dinner with a stranger? Southern hospitality at its finest."

Peach chuckled shaking her head. "He's not a stranger. Me and Nick are friends and we used to be partners. We were undercover together as well."

"Huh, is that so? He never mentioned you while he was here."

"There was no need for him to mention me while he was at work. But trust me we're close friends."

Kat watched and listened to the conversation closely, she knew Peach and she knew when her friend started to get agitated and wanted to intervene when she noticed it was getting close to that moment. As much as Rollins worked Peach's nerves, Peach had never said anything out of the way to Rollins or about Rollins. However, Rollins complained about Peach whenever she could and to whoever she could.

----

Olivia stood in her kitchen fixing dinner for her and Noah. Her son came running from the back of the apartment from his room when he heard a knock at the door. Olivia laughed hearing his feet.

"Ask who it is before you open it, Noah."

"Who is it?" He yelled standing at the door.

"Elliot! Open up, Noah." He yelled with a hint of laughter in his voice.

Before she could stop him, Noah snatched the door open with a wide smile on his face. He launched himself at Elliot as soon as the older man stepped in, hugging him tight.

"Whats going on, buddy? I take it you missed me?" Elliot laughed hugging him back.

"Yeah! Mom said you've been busy with work."

Elliot nodded glancing over at Olivia, who still had her back to them. "Yeah, work's been busy but I'm here now. Why don't you go play for a bit while your mom and me talk."

Watching him run off, Elliot went to the kitchen area sitting on the stool at her breakfast bar. He let her move around in silence for a few minutes.

"I've been calling you, Liv."

"I know but between work and Noah I've been so busy. I'm sorry, El."

Elliot nodded rubbing his hands together. "At least turn around and look at me while you lie to me. You've been avoiding me."

Turning the stove down, Olivia moved to lean against the counter finally looking at Elliot. She couldn't help the small smile that started to spread on her face.

"You could've just not asked, El. We could've just let it be."

Elliot shrugged, "I could've but if we're really moving past everything then this needs to be discussed. So let's discuss."

"Not with Noah here."

"If we don't talk tonight, right now then you're gonna avoid me again," Elliot replied shaking his head, "You said it yourself when he's in his room playing he doesn't hear anything. Now let's talk."

Olivia sighed wiping a hand down her face. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Let's start with why you didn't tell me about Noah?"

"You left, El. It was three months before I even realized and how was I supposed to tell you?"

"That was something that was important to tell, Liv. It's not easy but you say it," he sighed. "The night that you and I spent together ... did you regret it?"

"No of course not. No." She replied immediately.

"Then you should've told me. I wanna hear you say it, tell me."

Olivia stared at him trying to make herself say it. She never said it out loud to anyone not even aloud to herself. And here she was having to say it to the very person that helped her into this situation.

----

"Well, well, look at what the wind blew in," Fin laughed standing up to greet Nick. "And with a beard at that."

Nick laughed hugging Fin then Phoebe. "Had to start looking my age. Got tired of everyone calling me choir boy."

"You'll always be chior boy to me, man," Fin replied sitting back down. "Everybody else said they're on their way. How's the job treating you?"

"Actually pretty good. Captain and me get along pretty well so do me and my partner so that's all I can ask for. You used to work with him, right? Stabler."

Fin nodded, "Sure did. For years. He can be an ass and a hot head but a good dude. Kinda like you."

Nick chuckled, "I'll take that as a compliment. How's Peach doing with you guys? Yall taking care of her?"

"She fits in pretty good, Rollins hadn't come around yet. Wait, why? You got a thing for your ex- partner?"

"No, not that. We're friends. We go back to my vice undercover days. What's Rollins deal with her?" Nick asked getting comfortable.

Fin shrugged. "You know Amanda, she's real finicky sometimes. I ain't figured out what the deal is but I'm sure she'll tell us eventually."

"Speak of the devil," Nick joked under his breath seeing Rollins walk in with Carisi behind her. He smiled, "Long time no see Amanda. What's going on, Carisi? You two a thing now? Finally."

Carisi shook his head quickly sitting across from the others. "No, not at all. We both just got here at the same time is all. Look at you with this beard, man."

Rollins shot Carisi a look then hugged Nick. "Well don't say it like it's such a bad thing. Hey, Nick. How ya doing?"

"I'm good, I'm good. What about your girls? How are they?"

She got comfortable in the seat beside Nick. "They're good, a handful but good. How's Zara and Maria?"

"Good," Nick nodded, "Zara's happy to be back in New York, wasn't too fond of LA."

"And Maria? She happy to be back?"

"I guess she would be if she was here," Nick shrugged with a small smile on his face. "So, Carisi, DA's office treating you good?"

Carisi laughed, "If good means giving me ulcers then yeah. I don't enjoy it everyday but I don't regret my decision."

"You wouldn't have ulcers if you stayed a cop." Rollins rolled her eyes trying to sound as playful as possible

Nick looked between the two of them, thankful he didn't have to deal with her snide remarks anymore. "He had to do what was best for him, Amanda. You can't fault him for that."

"I'm just saying," she shrugged, "He could've waited."

"Waited for what?" Carisi asked with a frown.

Before Rollins could respond, Kat and Peach approached the table laughing and talking loudly. Kat started to hug everyone.

"The second guest of honor is here so the celebrating can begin," Peach announced excitedly.

"I promise she hasn't started drinking yet," Kat joked sitting to the right of Carisi, "This is just how she talks off the clock and when she's excited."

Fin laughed pulling away from hugging Peach. "Loudest I've heard you talk this whole month."

"There was no reason to talk that loud at work," she responded playfully.

Smiling, Nick got up going around the table with his arms open wide. "Get over here and gimmie a hug, girl!" The two friends embraced tightly for a minute or so before letting go. "Haven't seen your mug in a while, munchkin."

Peach laughed pushing him playfully. "I told you about the name, Nick. And you act like you don't talk to me at least two or three times a week."

"So what? I can't miss your mean ass face?" Nick joked. "These people get to see it every day just about."

"Oh whatever, Nick. Move," she laughed going to sit to the left of Carisi, "Is this you dressing down?"

Nick went back to his seat laughing but noticed the look on Rollins face. He leaned in close to her to keep his voice down. "What's with your face?"

"Nothing, nothing. You and her close, huh?"

"Yeah we are. That's my friend."

Carisi laughed fixing his shirt, "I didn't wanna be overdressed in my suits but this was still a celebration. Does it not look nice?"

Peach raised a brow playfully. "No, no, it looks nice. You look good, Carisi."

"I see you dressed up as well. Showin' leg, huh?"

"I don't get to dress up that often so I figured I'd show out a little. Too much?" She asked looking over at him.

Carisi looked down then back at her face, "Na, not too much. You look beautiful. Did you drive?"

"Thank you," she shook her head, "Nope. Me and Kat wanted to drink tonight so we're gonna get a Uber."

"You know how I feel about that."

Peach shrugged playfully. "I know but we're gonna be together and we love in the same building." Carisi stared over at her making her roll her eyes. "Fine, fine. You can take us home, Dominic."

"Thank you very much, Bianca."

Rollins squinted at the two, "What's so funny you two?"

"Shhh," Peach laughed, "Yall hear that?"

Fin frowned a little and chuckled. "Hear what?"

"The sound of somebody minding my business again."

----

Olivia sighed softly fixing the three dinner plates, she had yet to say what Elliot wanted to hear. She knew she was going to have to say it before Noah came out to eat but she was buying time. Taking the plates over to the breakfast bar, Olivia sat them down then grabbed Elliot's hands.

"The night we spent together after that case with that boy Hunter was the night I got pregnant," Olivia explained softly, "I didn't find out until a few months later, by that time you were already gone. Cragen let me stay as long as I could then I went out on leave until Noah was about six months. I never told anybody but Fin and Cragen figured it out when they say him."

Elliot squeezed her hands smiling, "Thank you for finally telling me. Thank you."

"Wait," Noah called out, "You had a baby before me, Mom?"

Olivia and Elliot stared at each other then at Noah speechless.

[msjr0119]

Love, Fate, Destiny

Part 5- Dancing On My Own

Riley Brooks is a waitress in a ‘Dive bar” in New York. One Saturday night, her past comes back to haunt her as some unfamiliar punters enter her bar on a bachelor party- one of them being someone who she was once close to.

*CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY*

Tags- @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @butindeed @bbrandy2002 @bascmve01 @kingliam2019 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415

******

“Liam, a word outside. NOW!”

Liam looked puzzled hearing Drake’s tone of voice. Why would he be angry? He had convinced the love of his friends life to come to his home. Apologising to Olivia, he gently kissed her cheek- walking towards the balcony.

“Drake? What is the matter?” Speaking softly as he didn’t fully understand the meaning for this private conversation.

“Oh let me see... you bring MY girl from New York. Allow the Beaumont’s to sponsor her, for your hand in marriage! She’s not safe being here. How could you do this to me and to her. She’s naive. I never spoke about this place to her, because she wouldn’t understand it. Adding her as a target to the rest of the list. I’m taking her home tomorrow!” Drake frustratedly snapped at his friend.

“You can’t take her home.” Liam now felt guilty, sorrow in his eyes as he could see that Drake was hurting and protecting someone he loved. Drake never gave a damn about court- most likely because of the way he had been treat in the past. His father dying protecting Liam’s family, his sister disappearing and his mother abruptly abandoning him. Could Liam blame him for his attitude regarding the royal court- no.

“And why fucking can’t I, Your highness?”

“She’s their sponsor now. It’s set in stone. I’m sorry Drake, I thought you’d be happy.”

“I was happy. I was happy to be moving back to New York tomorrow to be with her. Somewhere we both called home once upon a time. You don’t need me here. You have Liv. So I planned to go and get my girl back. Now I won’t be able to even speak to her without a scandal brewing. So thanks, Li!”

Olivia stood behind them, tutting and coughing to announce her presence. Relieved that Riley now wasn’t her competition, she wondered how this would elaborate. Drake Walker was in love. The women at court had an inkling that he was possibly a ‘closet’ gay- Kiara always forced herself on him, practically drooling over him and he declined every effort she made. Olivia couldn’t wait to stir up trouble.

“And here I was thinking that you would stray towards another commoner, Li. I know how attracted you are to those type of people.” Winding the situation up, she couldn’t stop smirking.

“Liv shut up! Whatever you heard keep it quiet! Drake, you should go and find Riley.”

Drake nodded, fuck he thought- Olivia of all people overheard them. Why couldn’t he just talk to Riley like a normal human being- like the woman he loved.

****

Maxwell and Hana escorted Riley to her room, Hana reapplied make up for her new friend, not really understanding why a stranger could make her that upset.

“So, is anyone going to tell me what is going on?” Hana had only met Riley a short while before, but was concerned about her. Hana was the type of person who cared a lot for others, she hoped that Riley wouldn’t think she was interfering.

“Riley fucked Drake years and years ago. They were together....oops!” As he blurted out the secret, he couldn’t stop hiccuping. Riley felt like throttling her sponsor but didn’t have the energy. Besides, Hana didn’t seem the type of person to cause a shit storm.

“Ohhh...So why are you here then? I’m really confused.” Hana’s eyebrows furrowed, she was perplexed by her friends confession. She knew that the social season was a sham- she only agreed to completing in it to escape the pressure from home.

“So am I, Hana. I thought he’d be happy to see me. He was furious. Saying the court was vicious and that I couldn’t be here. Liam said he’s already made his decision. So I don’t see the issue.” Riley now feeling fully defeated, she regretted following her heart and coming to this country that was unknown to her. She was doing quite alright in her city - her birth place, before he returned.

“Everyone knows that he and Olivia have had a thing for years. Shall we get back Blossom? Hana, please don’t tell anyone what I blurted out- it’s the booze, I can’t control my mouth.”

“Of course. I’ll help you Riley, with anything you need. I’m really grateful to have met you.”

******

The trio re-entered the ballroom, a waiter handed them a glass of sparkly champagne which they all accepted. Riley drank it in one gulp- before reaching for another. This whole court situation was harder than she believed it would be- maybe it will get better? After drinking the second glass, she noticed the Prince walking slowly towards them grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Placing a fake smile on her face, she didn’t want to reveal the true pain that she was feeling.

“Lady Riley, shall we dance?”

Riley didn’t want to dance with the man, even though his baby blues were pleading with her. The only dancing she knew was the ‘slut drop’- her expertise in New York, she knew this place wouldn’t accept that type of dancing.

“I- I don’t dance Liam. I’m sure Lady Hana will dance.”

“Lady Riley, it’s shown as rude declining a member of royal family a dance.” Hana whispered the advise giving her an encouraging smile. For fuck sake, Riley muttered under her breath- hoping no one heard.

“I don’t want to dance- well I do. But I want to speak to you. I’ll lead. Just follow my moves.”

Liam led Riley to the dance floor to dance to the Cordonian waltz- she was feeling out of her comfort zone. Noticing that all eyes were on the two of them- anxiety began to increase her breathing and heart rate. Hoping no one would notice, she didn’t want to be an embarrassment.

“I’m sorry about how Drake reacted. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”

“It’s not your fault. I wish, I never came in the first place.”

“I’m so sorry you feel that way. Drake will apologise. He’s been drinking and it was a shock seeing you. He truly does love you Riley.”

“Funny way of showing it! I’m sorry. Am I doing this right?” Riley questioned as Liam twirled her and pulled her close into his embrace. In the corner of her eye she saw Maxwell and Drake- even though Drake had hurt her, she wished that he was the one she was dancing with. Wishing that the lights come on and the music dies.

“You’re an amazing dancer.”

“Yes you are doing brilliantly for a beginner, and thank you. My parents would be thrilled to hear that all those years of dance lessons paid off. You are remarkable.” He whispered in her ear, so no one could hear his flirting. He’s just being polite- he’s a Prince. Nothing more to it. I hope.

*****

Drake stood in the corner, watching the Prince dance flirtatiously with his Riley- gulping back whiskey one after the other. The brown liquid not touching his sides. Anger began brewing inside of him, Maxwell joined him- providing a pleading expression for him not to do something he would later regret. Drake really hoped that Riley would see him, talk to him and for them to return to what they once was.

“Don’t worry Max, I’m not going to fuck up this thing you have between you all. I’m always standing in the corner on my own anyway. Dancing on my own.”

They were disturbed by gasping. Liam had seen his father scrutinising every move he made with Riley. To keep up appearances that he was exploring other options for a wife- he kissed Riley on the cheek- before looking directly at his father smiling. Constantine nodded towards his son, a bit of hope shone in his eyes hoping that his daughter in law wouldn’t be a Nevrakis.

I’m in the corner watching you kiss her oh oh oh..

And I’m right over here, why can’t you see me?

Maxwell noticed Riley leave Liam’s embrace, curtsying elegantly- shock on her face as she turned away from the Prince. He rushed towards her to check that she was fine, she was his responsibility after all.

“Ri?”

“Max, why would he do that? I feel like I’ve cheated on Drake!” Covering her face with her hands- she loved Drake, she always did- why did this whole situation make her feel emotional? Knowing it was fake, knowing Drake was hers, and she was his.

“He has to be affectionate Riley, with everyone- you know the Prince Charming effect?” Maxwell gave her a half smile, he knew she wouldn’t intentionally hurt Drake, it was just a dance and kiss on the cheek. Although he was starting to have doubts about Liam’s intentions.

Liam acted different around Riley. Paranoia stabbed Drake in the heart- believing he was about to lose Riley for good, after all what Liam wants, Liam usually gets. No he wouldn’t do that to me? Surely. Why couldn’t she just wait one more day for me to return to her? She’s waited seven years. But I'm not the guy you're taking home - Drake kept repeating in his head.

Riley and her new friends were stood in the middle of the dance floor, before she recognised that familiar scent instantly surrounding them. Whiskey mixed with pinewood. Snapping her head towards him he gave her a sad smile. Taking her delicate hand into his, he guided it to his lips- gently and longingly kissing it. Tears forming in his eyes- he gently pulled her into his warm embrace- not giving a shit about what people thought.

“I just came to say goodbye.”

[botanyandbrilliance]

"Not even a gift shop?" She looked mock shocked and offended by the very idea of that. "How can that be? I thought there was a shop on just about every corner! However do you survive without the convenience of being able to just purchase whatever small sundry item you might be seeking on a lark?" Shops seemed to be a thing almost anywhere one went. If one were to go on holiday and not return with a moderately sized bag full of stupid things like keychains, snow globes, tiny compasses, t-shirts and shot glasses emblazoned with the name of the place that had been visited, well it simply hadn't been a proper holiday.

To be fair, Liv was relatively certain the wizard she'd treated hadn't been on holiday when he'd contracted the rot. To be fair, he hadn't told her exactly what he'd been doing in the swamps of Louisiana, but he did sound like he'd had a pretty decent time in the French Quarter.

She shook her head, reaching up to tuck an errant lock of dark hair back behind her ear. "It's not that the body doesn't try to resist it. The problem lies in the fact that the immune system is really only so good. You'd think that wizards, being magical in nature, would have more resistance to illnesses and diseases that are somewhat less than mundane. Unfortunately, we are still human, whether we have certain advanced properties or not. We are just as susceptible to the flu as anyone else. Sadly, that also extends to zombie rot." Somewhat self consciously, she started to chew gently at her lower lip, as if recognizing that she'd just given him a mini lecture in the way the human body's defenses worked. Mustering up a very awkward smile, she shrugged slightly. "The good news is, you've got biomancers who work on these sorts of things, specifically to keep people healthy and prevent the spread of the nasties."

The sight awkwardness turned to amused indignation as she poked Harry's chest gently. Just because she was a healer didn't mean she had to push the health food routine. Soft laughter colored her words as the biomancer gave him a somewhat admonishing look. "Please, I don't have to 'push' anything. It's not like there's a conspiracy to eat healthy agenda that I'm required to shove into everyone's faces. I'm vegetarian, and I was trying to suggest something you might actually like. Not everyone out there is familiar with non-meat things."

Of course, there were also a lot of vegetarians out there who gave the rest of them a really bad name. To say that she wasn't one of them would have been a massive understatement.

Pleased that he'd taken her hand, and hoping that he'd not been too put off by her food choices, she laughed a little more, her head falling forward to keep him from seeing just how amused she was. "Right, shutting it about the rot. I get it. Though, it would not have been a pleasant way to go at all, so it was really good he came sooner rather than later. Some nasty tea, and a topical cream later, and he'll be right as rain."

The door at streeet level opened so that the stairs could be taken to reach her flat. Her mind started running through the items in her bathroom as she wasn't sure if the towel hanging there was clean or not. If not, she had plenty of clean ones, so that wouldn't be a problem. Liv made a mental note to double check that once she got upstairs.

Glancing back over her shoulder at him, the light of the stairwell being much better than the light outside, she really looked him over. "You know, I'm not catching any unusual smells off you, but you do look as you could freshen up a bit. 'Fraid I've still not got a thing that'll fit you, but a shower might make you feel a bit more human. Then you can telll me what's brought you 'round for a visit, yeah?"

botanyandbrilliance

An unexpected business trip sound liked it could have even exciting, and possibly have led to great adventures. Unfortunately, the way he’d phrased it didn’t make it sound as though he’d had any sort of a good time. Not to mention, that the rumors surrounding him and his untimely demise appeared to have been drastically exaggerated.

Which raised so many question. Oh so many questions that she didn’t think she should ask while standing in the middle of the street in front of a phone box.

She smiled gently, being completely unable to refute his comment about postcards. They were always located in gift shops and tourist type attractions, and usually weren’t really all that awesome. The pictures chosen were often of the attractions that had the most traffic and therefore made the cards so much less personal. “It’s really all right. About the postcard, I mean. Besides, unless you went somewhere really amazing, such as the Caribbean, or Italy… possibly Greece, I don’t know what I’d have done with it. If it’s not got a lovely picture on it, it’s hard to put it up on the wall as a souvenir of any sort.”

Rather unlike the wizard who’d happened by, oddly enough, on his way back from Haiti. With the zombie rot. “Oh, yes, zombie rot’s a thing. Why wouldn’t it be? With everything you’ve seen and experienced, that’s the bit you choose to find improbable? I guarantee that it’s a damned sight more deadly than hummus.”

Hummus was delicious, and by the way Harry looked at her, she’d guessed that he’d never had it. “Humus is amazing. It’s simply chickpea, but ground down and mashed up a bit so that it’s in a spreadable form. My personal favorite is cilantro lime flavored. You eat it with pita. You… do know what pita is, yeah?”

If he didn’t, he might just get a bit of an education. Holding out a hand towards him, she nodded her head towards the door that leads up to her apartment. “Come on, then. I’m still vegetarian, so perhaps not everything will be to your liking, but I do have things to eat. You can fill me in on, well, everything since I last saw you over a bite and some tea.” A slow smile broke out on her face as she looked at the taller man, feeling incredibly shortly beside him. “No, you don’t look that bad, but to be fair, not many people do until the rot really sets in. If you’re in the right place, it starts off as a small scratch or a bite somewhere, and it starts to spread. Depending on how much exposure you’ve had to the saliva and if you’re been extremely mobile or more stationary can determine the rate of spread as well.” She seemed to realize that she’d been rambling again, her cheeks starting to turn pink. “So, no, you don’t look as if you’ve got the rot. I should, probably shut it, shouldn’t I?”

“Uhhh, no, definitely no place like that. I don’t think there’s even a gift shop in the entirety of the region!” A place without a gift shop??? He thought maybe in those locations with isolated tribes, there were areas outside the vicinity that tried to put a price tag on it all. T-shirts were always a popular option, magnets, keyrings, in addition to the expensive cardstock postcards [as though anyone out there would want to get one of those…. no, more likely they read it, enjoyed it for the five seconds of entertainment that it gave, and then it either fell in the gap of the couch, or got pushed under the recliner, or straight in the trash where it would never be seen or heard from again]. He doubted Al would appreciate any replication of the island given out as merchandise. Then again, he hadn’t ASKED either.

“Not improbable. I’m just…. in denial. Contagions are something I…. uh, find myself rejecting. Ignoring? Ignoring. Aside from the vampire contagion and such. Monsters are one thing, but good GOD, you’d think our bodies would do ONE thing right to help in our fight for our sanity! I don’t know, like try to protect us from catching the nasty from the THINGS we fight!” Zombies could well pass along their conditions to unwilling participants, but there were also alllll manner of different ailments that could be gained from exposure to the otherworldly. Understandably. It wasn’t like they were exposed frequently enough for their immune systems to bolster a defense!

That’s why healers were so vitally important and why Harry had always wondered why they weren’t given more attention in general.

Because they were supposedly less showy, less ‘powerful’ and therefore, less important? Please, without a healer, there would be no forces to contend with those challenges that awaited them.

Shit, if he worried about everything that he might encounter out in the wilds, nothing would get done! Still, it was a little jarring to think that such things were out there, however much he knew that they were. Good thing they DID have great healers, as few and far between as they were! Things would be a bit more frightening without someone out there that knew how to deal with the zombie rot. Among other things. 

“Oh I know pita. Those dry crusty ass things that don’t actually HOLD anything like they proclaim they can.” Those little pockets were so dry, they crumbled and cracked just as soon as anything of substance entered them! Maybe they were better as dipping mechanisms…

“I know you’re sort of required to push the health thing, but I’d rather eat boogers than a chickpea mash.” 

He grinned, reaching out a hand to accept hers, following through with her open invitation inside her personal residence. He probably should have been more ‘open’ with what it could potentially mean to invite him over the threshold, but he didn’t yet quite think in those terms. She wasn’t ‘inviting’ the Winter Knight inside her place. She was inviting Harry Dresden inside. They weren’t mutually exclusive. Apparently.

He inclined his head, all the intimate details of zombie rot now forever seared into his mind. “…. well, that sounds…. like a very pleasant way to go. And nearly impossible to determine exactly where on my body the entry point would be.” He was riddled with nicks and cuts and all manner of slices and dices. …. plenty of places for scary bacteria’s to crawl into.

“I feel like a fresh spring flower! It’s kind of funny though, because, sometimes when people say that, you look at them and think, damn…. actually, they look the hardened remnants of a fertilized field. And they smell like it too.” 

[aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide]

Evocations: XIV (b)

Alexandra knew that she was being overly stubborn, even for herself, who normally operated at extremely stubborn as a default. She wasn't completely sure why, either. Why now? Why this case? Perhaps she was just determined to maintain a degree of normalcy as the days wound down towards the evening she had planned to propose.

Or, perhaps she simply couldn't handle it when evil men operated with impunity.

Either way, when Zapata and his attorney turned down the deal she'd been told to offer, Alex had refused another opportunity to drop the case. That night at home, she ducked out up to the roof to smoke, and to figure out her next move.

She was asking Olivia to marry her in two days. Counting the stars between drags, Alex wished fervently for luck to be on her side for just a little longer.

By the time she headed back downstairs, her high was pleasantly heavy, and calm. Liv had bought herself a new dress for the upcoming dinner, and Alex found her in the bathroom wearing it, trying out makeup and hairstyles to go with it. Alex leaned in the doorway, staring, smiling softly at the elegant brunette, who had styled her hair back away from her forehead. She was applying lipstick in the mirror, and there were silver and pearl drop earrings sparkling at her ears.

"What're you staring at?" Liv teased, blotting the lipstick and turning to face Alex.

The rest of my life, Alexandra thought to herself. She shrugged, stood up straighter. "The new dress is lovely." Then she chuckled at the indignant look that crossed Olivia's face. "Buut . . . " Alex drawled, stepping toward her, "it's nothing compared to the stunning brunette inside it."

Liv grinned, pointed to her face. "What do you think?"

"I think you're incredible." Alex pulled Liv by the waist against her and placed a kiss to her throat. "Can I take this dress off you, now?"

"Mmm," Liv hummed, flushing with goosebumps, "I think I could be persuaded," she giggled.

.

.

Tim Donovan was dead.

Alexandra was still shaking when she and Olivia locked their apartment door behind them, leaving their protective detail outside in the hall.

"I'm going to call and check on your mother," Liv told her.

Nodding faintly, Alex walked away down the hall toward their bedroom. Flicking on the light, she walked straight to the closet and leaned into its depths, reaching for the spot where she had hid the engagement ring. From the moment she had said, "No, I want to go home now," she had wanted to get the ring in her hand.

Her fingers closed over the ring box, small, solid, a tangible piece of her life as yet untouched by the Zapata case's violence.

Alex pocketed the ring box in her jacket, then wandered back out into the apartment, finally sitting on the sofa, where she let Sky High crawl into her lap. Olivia was checking the window locks one by one as she spoke with Darcie, and snippets of sentences would drift by where Alex sat:

"She's with me, now . . . yes, an armed guard. Twenty-four seven, yeah . . . "

Alex stroked Sky's fur, her ears still ringing from the bomb blast, the places where bruises would come in already aching warmly.

"Yes, I promise you she's fine. I'll have her call you in the morning. Ok. Love you, too, Darcie. Goodnight."

Olivia sat alongside Alex, and Sky excitedly jumped at her, trying to kiss her face. Liv stroked a hand over Alex's hair. "How are you doing?"

Alex just shook her head and looked at her hands, her eyes full with unshed tears.

"Let me run you a bath," Liv suggested softly.

"He had two kids, Olivia."

"This is not your fault, Alex."

"Bullshit it's not!" she choked out, "I could have dropped it half a dozen times in the last week!" Olivia took a breath to try again, but Alexandra was fully sobbing, so instead she folded her into her arms and let her cry, while Sky High sat with them, trying to help.

Bit by bit, Liv managed to get her to let her push her jacket from her shoulders, getting her up from the sofa and leading her in the direction of the bathroom.

She took a warm cloth to the grime and small cuts on her face and arms, before helping her strip off her clothes. In the bedroom, she kept one eye on Alex as they both put on pyjamas and then got into bed. Sky quietly curled up between their feet below.

"You're safe here," Liv told her softly, taking Alexandra's hand beneath the blankets.

But Alex was still thinking about how stubborn she had been every step of the way. About Donovan's sincere eyes as he told her he didn't want her to worry. Then Agent Hammond screaming at her, telling her she had been careless.

"Liv?" she whispered.

"Yes?"

"Can you hold me, please?"

Liv curled into the faintly trembling blonde, settling her weight onto her, giving her something to ground herself with. Alexandra's blue eyes stared into the darkness, wondering just how far they would fall before everything was all over.

In the living room, tossed over the back of the couch was her jacket, where deep in the pocket the pear-cut diamond ring waited to reflect the light.

.

.

"Alex, we can't always win," Elliot said gently.

"But that's just it. Even when we win, we don't."

To Olivia, it felt like they were having the Gardner case discussion, all over again. Except this time, the futility and the helplessness had magnified outward to the entire squad.

While Elliot went to settle the tab, Liv made another attempt to convince Alexandra to stay at 'her' place. In their two years together, Olivia had continued to insist on keeping her old apartment, and now she seemed to think it would be safer than the one they shared. Alex flatly refused, not willing to let the cartel take more from her than they already had.

In the pocket of the jacket she slung over her shoulder, the ring box was tucked away, burning a hole. They would have been at dinner right now, if the Special Victims Unit wasn't worried for her life. She could have been on one knee as they spoke, instead of heading out the door of the cop bar into the cool Fall night.

Soon, she told herself. She faced Olivia on the sidewalk, thinking of the dress that Liv would wear for the dinner, how she had stripped it from her and made breathless love.

Then there was the sound of bullets.

Then darkness.

Liv scrambled to Alexandra's still body. "Alex?No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no," she chanted the syllable again and again to ward off the nauseating panic. "Somebody call an ambulance! Call 911 now!" she screamed. She pushed down desperately on the bleeding wound, continuing to talk to her as though her voice could stop the bleeding.

"Alex? It's okay, Alex. Alex, look at me. It's okay, sweetie. Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me, Alex . . . " she begged, "They're coming right now. You're gonna be okay. Alex, you're gonna be okay. Look at me! You're gonna be just fine, you're gonna be just fine. Now, just stay with me." Olivia's breath was heaving into and from her lungs in hot, disbelieving pants as she continued to repeat herself, saying her name like it was the key to a prayer: "Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex. It's okay. Look at me!"

.

.

The night had become a kaleidoscope of colors: the ink black sky, the flash of red and blue lights, the white-hot panic in the center of Olivia's chest.

The crimson spill of Alex's hot blood between Liv's fingers and over her hands.

When Elliot finally pulled his partner up and away from Cabot's body to let the EMTs work on her, the world spun out from under her. She stumbled in his hold, and he quickly tightened his arms, holding her up.

They followed the ambulance to the hospital, where Alexandra was whisked off to a trauma room to where neither Elliot nor Olivia could follow. The two women were not legally bound in any decision-making sense, and it slammed a heavy door in the brunette's face.

Elliot called Kathy to tell her where he was, then stayed with Liv, sitting quietly on the hard plastic waiting room seats. His hope was that she would nod off and rest before there was any news, but Olivia was like a raging bull, alert and breathing rapidly as she paced the length of the seating over and over. Sometimes she gnawed at her fingers, other times she stopped as if she would be able to hear in the direction Alex had been taken if she strained hard enough.

After more than two hours had crawled past, a doctor came padding toward them silently. The question she asked when she stopped in front of the detectives was, "Does Ms. Cabot have any family?"

"Yes. Her parents," Liv answered immediately.

"We'll need their contact information," the doctor replied.

"She's our ADA, doctor," Elliot said, flashing his badge from his hip. "Can you tell us anything about her condition?"

The doctor's mouth pressed into a grim line, then said, "I'm sorry, but Ms. Cabot didn't survive her injuries."

The kaleidoscope turned, turned, turned again and Olivia dropped heavily onto the nearest seat. Blinking rapidly she fought off the feeling that she was going to faint, trying to focus on the sensation of her breathing.

She couldn't seem to feel her heart beating at all.

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

Fresh start part 9

Loved writing this part. It is long, but worth it.

Warning: This does talk about reader being kid napped. 

It had been a few weeks since that night out after the win. Everything just seemed to have fallen into place. You both knew the demands of your jobs but you still made it work, you both knew soon you would have to tell Liv, it was getting harder and harder to hide it. If he was still at the office when you finished, you would swing by with dinner, or he would come past your place on his way home for a cuddle. On weekends he took you out on the most romantic dates. Granted most of those times lead to heavily making out and extremely heavy petting, but you guys were taking things slow, enjoying each other. You both felt so deeply about each other you wanted to make it work.

****

You had just finished an afternoon shift with Nick on Friday. You were slowly getting used to afternoon and night shifts at SVU. He was going to Amanda's and you were headed to Rafael's for the weekend, secretly hoping this was the weekend you guys would take everything to the next level, you would have too soon, things were getting too intense and it was getting hard for you both to stop when it got to that point.

8.05 pm-You: Just finished my Rafi! On my way to get a taxi! Can't wait to see you xx

8.09 pm- Rafael: OK mi Hermosa, see you soon! Promise this weekend won't disappoint xx

You stood outside the priciest for a few minutes waiting for a taxi to drive past. But it wasn’t unusual that there were no taxis this time of night on a Friday. You started to walk up to the next block which met a cross street hoping for better luck. “Not many people around” you thought to yourself as you walked. Your mind was filled with happy thoughts, about what the weekend may hold and butterflies flying around your tummy just thinking about it. Rafael treated you so well, sometimes you wondered if you really deserved him after all. You had seen a completely different side to him, a side you were falling in love with, and a side that was just for you.

You had just about walked past the ally and about to step up on the side walk, when you felt an arm grab you around your middle from the back, pinning your arms to your side and before you could scream, cold metal to your temple.

"A pretty little Detective like you shouldn't be walking around by herself this time of night. Didn't Benson teach her squad better?" You were frozen in place not knowing what to do. 

"Sweetheart, you’re going to come with me now on a little adventure, and if you scream I'm going to put a bullet in that pretty little head of yours".

 Tears starting rolling down your face. The man, who you hadn't seen his face yet, pushed you towards a car parked down a bit in the ally, still holding the gun to your head. He opened the back door and threw you in on the back seat. It was so dark you couldn't see his face; he got rope and tied your hands to the door so you were forced to lay down across the seat. He grabbed your bag, opened it, pulled out your phone, threw it on the ground smashing it and then stomped it with the heel of his foot. He then pulled out your wallet, pulled out the cash and handy card and then threw the empty wallet and your bag with your badge in it to the side. He got in the driver's side and started to drive.

Finally through the tears and the street lights, you managed to get a look at the guys face in the review mirror. You almost passed out in shock....William Lewis...... how was he out of jail? What was he doing with you?

You didn't know much about what happened between him and Liv. Only what you had seen and read, it was before your time at SVU and never came up in conversation, so you never asked.

“Don’t worry yourself Detective, as long as Benson does what she is told, you'll be fine, and you’ll get to see that ADA boyfriend of yours again."

----

Rafael was so excited for the weekend he had planned. A Romantic dinner and theatre show tomorrow night, breakfasts in bed, and hopefully something more. He was finding it hard to control himself, and he knew you were too, but he didn’t want to ruin it. He was enjoying himself with you and was starting to fall hard for you, but it was too soon to say anything like that just yet. You understood him; you liked him the way he was. You knew his fears about relationships after everything that had happened to him in the past, always being pushed aside for someone else or just there for a root and boot. He knew and understood your fears as well, your last relationship really took a lot out of you. You were different and he knew that. He was worried about the age difference, you weren't. He was worried you might meet someone younger and leave him. But you reassured him in ways he had never been before. He just wanted to be with you whenever he could. He looked at his phone, 9 pm and you still weren't there. Even on busy nights, it never took this long to get to his place.

9.01-Rafael: Where are you Hermosa?

10 minutes later, still no reply. That's odd he thought, but he let it go for 10 more minutes, maybe there was traffic or your phone battery had died. He picked up his phone and called, straight to voice mail. This was strange; he had never heard your voice mail before, you always answered.

 9.30 with another text sent and couple more calls, still nothing, straight to voice mail. He looked through his phone, he didn't want to call Liv, she didn't know about you guys yet and he didn't want to put his foot in it just in case your phone battery had died. He kept looking through his contacts and came to Nick’s. He didn’t get along with your partner at all, not since the Alex case, but he needed to know you were safe and he knew Nick did care about you. You guys had this weird bond. He dialled the number, it rang out and went to voice mail so he called again, after 4 rings Nick answered;

"Barba, it's Friday night, I'm off duty"

"Have you heard from Y/N? She messaged me saying she was on her way, she still isn't here, I have messaged and called her, just goes to voice mail."

“She left when I did, maybe her phone has died, relax Barba" and he hung up.

10.....10.10......10.20.....10.30.......10.40

Call after call, message after message, you still weren't there and still going to voice mail! He went into his contacts and called Liv

"Barba, everything ok?"

"Uh....Y/N was meant to be here around 8.30, she still isn't, she isn't answering messages and it's going to voice mail. Something has happened, I'm worried."

"Oh, OK! Let me try and I'll call you back."

Liv hung up and tried to call you, straight to voice mail. This wasn't like you, even on weekends and early hours of the morning you answered your phone, this was the first time she even heard your voice mail.

Liv called Barba back,

 " Meet me at the predict."

Liv called Fin on the way and filled him in and asked him to come in.

Rafael rushed down into the bullpen straight into Liv's office. Fin was on the phone to TARU, who was tracing your phone. Liv walked in behind him and put her hand on his shoulder;

 "It’s going to be OK" he huffed back at her frowning.

Fin got off the phone, "Her cell phone last pinged from the ally at the end of the block, let's check it out."

The 3 of them walked out of the building down to the ally, Fin and Liv had a police torch each, they knew how dark that ally was at night. They turned them on as they rounded the corner into it.

"Oh No" said Liv, she looked down and seen your smashed phone, Rafael almost threw up. “Over here" yelled Fin, there was your bag, badge and empty wallet. Rafael walked over to a wall and lent on it so he had support in case he fainted. Next minute Liv's phone was ringing via video from an Unknown number. Fin put the torch up to her face for light and she answered,

"Hello Olivia, I've missed you!" It was Lewis, "I ‘am disappointed in you Olivia, don't you teach your new pretty detectives night street skills?" He flipped the camera around to you in the back seat with your hands bound to the door, and your mouth ducked tapped. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying. Fin caught Liv as she lost her balance like she had all the air knocked out of her; tears came to Rafael’s eyes.

"Do as I say Olivia, or she will enjoy me as much as you did." And he hung up.

Fin grabbed his phone out of his pocket and dialled Amanda, “You and Nick need to get the station now, Lewis has Y/N".

-----

Nick and Amanda ran into the station, into Liv’s office,

"What do you mean Lewis has Y/N? He's been locked up." Said Nick

"He escaped." Said Liv, "he tricked everyone and got away. He grabbed Y/N as she walked down the block to get a taxi, we have the footage. He held a gun to her head. We found her phone smashed; he took her money and handy card with them, and left the empty wallet, her badge and bag in the ally. We have a trace on the card, but no hits yet. He called while we were in the ally, he has her tied up to the car door and mouth ducked tapped, he used a burner cell that can’t be traced and we are still trying to work out what car he is driving"

Rafael was sitting on Liv's couch with his head in his hands trying to hold it together as much as he could, Nick started to walk towards him.

“I’m sorry Barba, I should have taken you more seriously", Rafael raised his hand to stop Nick from talking,  

“You have the be the worst person to be partnered with in the whole of the NYPD! WHY DIDN'T YOU DRIVE HER TO ME? Instead of letting her catch a cab" he yelled, Nick walked out before he lost his cool.

Liv followed him out, Amanda was close behind,                                             “You two need to get to the prison now and find out how the hell this happened." Nick and Amanda both walked out headed to where Lewis escaped from.

Liv walked back into her office to Fin and Rafael, her phone buzzed with a new message from an Unknown number. It was a video, Liv gasped, Fin and Rafael rushed up to her side. It was a video of you, you looked like a mess;

 “Liv, William wants me to tell you; you know what you have to do, tell the truth" You said through tears. “William said you have 48 hrs" you sobbed. “Tell....tell Rafael, I love him." 

And the video ended! Fin and Liv both looked at Rafael with their mouths opened and they seen he had tears rushing down his face. 

****

The next 48 hours was a blur, Lewis moved you around so much and kept giving you vodka, you didn't even know where you were. Liv had made a live confession that what she said during the trail was false and she was sorry for what she did to Lewis. Liv finally had enough when Lewis sent her a photo of you being hung up on a metal frame by your hands at what looked like a quarry.

She didn’t have to the heart to show Barba, he was already a mess as it was, but she knew you were still alive, which was the main thing for now. Liv had a soft spot for you, you reminded her of her young self. She was so glad she had you on the team, and you knew how to keep Nick in line and how to handle Barba at the best of times. She couldn’t bear to see what happened to her, happen to you now you and Barba were a thing. What happened to her, cost her, her relationship. She was older and married to the job, you were young with your whole career ahead of you and had a man that she knew adored you by the way he reacted to the video. She couldn’t let this affect your future like it had hers.  She did what he wanted and came to him when he told her too.

 He brought her into the room where you were tied up, Liv rushed over to you and put her hands on your cheeks and kissed your forehead. 

“It’s going to be ok Y/N, I’m here now Sweetie”, before he pushed her away from you and tired her to the table in the corner of the room.

 Nick, Amanda and Fin knew something was wrong when Liv didn't turn up the next day and she wasn’t answering her phone. They traced her phone and the GPS last pinged at the quarry.

What felt like forever was finally over, you remember Liv and Lewis fighting, and click sounds back and forth, you had been forced fed vodka and you were that dehydrated everything was blurry like a dream. Your eyes shut most of the time, falling in and out of sleep and your whole body ached from being tied this way for far too long. You remember hearing a gunshot, yelling and then Nick’s voice telling you everything was OK and that he was here now. He held up your body while Fin untied your arms and you blacked out as soon as you hit his shoulder.

****

"I have heard a lot about you two! Haven't done a very good job of looking after her have you. You should both be ashamed of yourselves." You slowly opened your eyes, the room was dim, and you let your eyes adjust.

 Your Mum was standing next to you holding your hand; which had a cannula in it, Nick was standing at the end of the bed with his head down and Rafael on your other side looking at the floor next to him. None of them saw you waking up.

"Don’t be like that Mum, they may not be perfect in your eyes but they are in mine." You said with a little smile.

"Oh sweetheart" your mum lent down and kissed you on the forehead.

"My Raf" you looked over at him with tears in your eyes, he put his forehead to yours, and you felt his warm tear drops land on your chest on top of your hospital gown neck. He stepped away and brushed your cheek with the back of his hand with a small smile.

You let go of your mum's hand and reached out for Nick, he walked around, grabbed it and kissed your knuckles. You looked at him, 

"Next night shift we do, you need to drive me where ever I need to go when we clock off, even if it’s to Brooklyn." You said with a giggle.

 “I’m so sorry, I completely understand if you want a new partner". You squeezed his hand, 

“Don’t be silly partner. I need you now more than ever" he gave you a small smile back.

“I’ll go and call Liv, tell her you’re awake." He kissed you on the top of your head and turned to your mum, 

“How about I take you to a late lunch, I'll drop you back at Y/N apartment so you can shower and rest?" 

Your Mum looked at you, “Go mum, I'll be fine, Raf is here."

Your Mum walked over and kissed you on your cheek. "I’ll be back later, you look after her".  Looking at Rafael, and she walked out with Nick.

You adjusted yourself to sit up in your bed. Rafael helped. You needed water; your mouth was so dry and felt like sand paper. You patted your hand on the bed so he could sit down across from you, and he took both your hands in his, careful of your hand with the cannula in it. You had a lump in your throat, but you swallowed it down, tears came to of your eyes,

 "I thought I would never see you again Rafael. I meant what I said in the video, I love you Raf, so much! I know it's too soon and I understand if you don't feel the same...."

He didn't give you a chance to finish, his lips were on yours. This was the sweetest most loving kiss he had ever given you; he pulled away and put his forehead to yours.

"I love you with my whole heart mi Hermosa."

 You looked up at him, “He didn’t do anything to me Raf, and it was more emotional stuff really. He knew about us and he used that against me, but I can’t work out how he would have known. I don’t think I’ll be able to ever drink or smell vodka again” you crinkled up your nose just thinking about it.

 He looked at you with his jaw clenched.

“He’s gone now mi amor. He can’t hurt anyone anymore. You will never see him again, and I promise to keep you safe as long as I live.”

Rafael filled in the blanks, you didn’t remember much after you took the video; He didn’t do anything to you, other than making you drink vodka for nearly 3 days and emotionally torment you. While he was talking to you, a nurse came in and put a new bag of fluids, which started to make you feel better. You asked if you could use his phone to call your mum so she could pack a bag for you so he could go and pick it up and bring it back to you. You were lying on your left side in bed, and he was sitting right next to you on a chair, holding one of your hands, and his other hand running it through your hair.

 “I have never been as frightened as I have been the last few days. I was with Liv when the video call came through the first time, you looked so scared and I couldn’t do anything, and then when she got the video I was there as well.” He paused “When I seen Nick’s call this morning, I nearly didn’t answer because I’m so mad at him that he let this happen to you, but something made me pick up and he me told that they had found you and Liv, Lewis was dead and you were both on your way to Belleview and to meet them here.”

 “Raf, it’s no one’s fault. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time; it could have easily been someone else. You need to not be so hard on Nick, he tries his best. He has trouble keeping up with me” you giggled

 You both didn’t even hear the door open, “Hey Guys. Sorry to intrude.”

 You both looked up to see Liv standing there with a big bunch of flowers and a medium size paper bag. She sat them both on the small table and started to walk towards Rafael. He gave her a big hug and then lent back down and gave you a kiss on your forehead.

 “I ‘am going to go home and shower. I’ll pick up your stuff on the way back. I won’t be long.” And he walked out the door, after giving Liv’s arm a squeeze and a smile.

 Liv sat on the chair he was on and grabbed your hand. She looked better then you remember seeing her. She had showered and had different cloths on. She had bags under eyes. You guessed that no one would have had much sleep the last few days.

 “How are you feeling?”

 “This is my second bag of fluids, I feel good now, are you OK?” you squeezed her hand and she nodded back.

 “I ‘am sorry you got pulled into this. I shouldn’t of have left it that long to come and get you. He didn’t......he didn’t do anything to you did he?”

 “Liv, don’t be sorry, you came that’s the main thing. No, he didn’t. Other than making me drink vodka nonstop and emotionally hurting me, he somehow knew about me and Rafael and he used it against me. I ‘am sorry about the video. I didn’t want to do it, but he told me if I didn’t he was going to shoot me, I don’t remember much after that.”

She stood up and pulled you into her arms and then kissed your forehead and sat down.

“At least I hold the record for the most eventful start at SVU.” You both laughed and wiped away tears.

 “The next couple of weeks are going to be busy and hard. We have both been called to make statements to IAB and 1PP. But know, I’ll be beside you every step of the way, and if this goes to trail, you will have all the support you need.” You nodded and gave her a small smile.

“So.... You and Barba hey.” You went red.

“I ‘am sorry I didn’t tell you Liv. We were going too but.....” she held up her hand to stop you from talking

“I’ am happy for you both. As long as it doesn’t interfere with work it’s all good with me.” She looked in your eyes and you and smiled. “I think you are good balance for him. You make him human, not just an ADA for sex crimes......OH” she stood up and grabbed the paper bag off the table and handed it to you.

“What’s this?” you said,

“Open it.” You opened the top of the paper bag and pulled out a new phone in a box, your badge and new wallet.

Tears came to your eyes, “Liv you didn’t.”

“It’s the least I can do, the sim card is tapped to the box, it’s the same number as your old one, you just have to set it up.” 

“Thank you so much Liv.” You reached your arms out to hug her; she lent down and hugged you back.

 Next minute, in walked Amanda, Fin and Nick.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Nick smart mouthed, Fin and Amanda laughed, then rush other and hugged you.

“We brought your favourite sandwich and an iced latte. We called before and asked the Doctor If you can eat now.”

You all sat in your room and laughing and mucking around. Everything that happened of the last couple of days faded away for a little while. You knew the next couple of weeks would be hard, knowing you had to go to IAB and 1PP, and then most likely go to trial, but you could do it. You had the best support system money could buy.