#i'm NOT saying that. but there is much to discuss here.

[howslemon]

Perfect Translation

IVE Rei x Male Reader

Words: 3.2k+

*Japanese

.

The forty-story glass building loomed before you, its sleek facade reflecting the morning sun. You smoothed down your suit coat, gripping your company ID like a lifeline. Your supervisor's words echoed in your mind: "Just a casual check-in with our Japanese partners." Easy for him to say, he wasn't the one navigating Tokyo without speaking the language.

The security guard accepted your ID with both hands, his expression courteous but firm. After a brief examination, he returned it with a gesture toward the waiting area. The glossy pamphlet on the side table offered little comfort. Its characters might as well have been abstract art.

"Good afternoon sir,"

The voice pulled your attention from the pamphlet. A woman stood before you, her presence commanding yet graceful. Her dark hair fell just past her shoulders, complementing the sharp lines of her business attire.

"Naoi Rei, I’ll be assisting you for today." she introduced herself, extending a hand. Her handshake was firm, professional. "Please follow me."

.

The elevator ride was quiet for the soft jazz playing overhead. You noticed how she stood, straight-backed, hands clasped before her, the very picture of corporate professionalism.

"First time in Japan sir?" she asked warmly, softening the elevator's fluorescent lighting.

"That obvious huh?"

A smile tugged at her lips. "You have that look about you. Wide-eyed, just taking everything in." She turned slightly toward you. "Tokyo can be overwhelming at first."

"Any suggestions for a newcomer?"

"I know quite a few hidden gems in the city." Her eyes met yours briefly. "Places tourists never find."

The elevator chimed, interrupting whatever was building in that moment. Rei gestured for you to follow, her heels clicking rhythmically against the polished floor. The office buzzed with quiet energy, the soft murmur of voices, the gentle hum of computers, the distant ring of phones.

Rei led you to a meeting room along the corner, where an executive in his fifties greeted you with a slight bow. His silver-streaked hair and wire-rimmed glasses gave him an air of distinguished authority.

"Welcome," he said warmly. "I trust you found us without too much trouble?"

Rei translated, voice replicating the same warmth. Was it your imagination, or did her eyes linger on yours a moment longer than necessary?

"The building was hard to miss," you replied, settling into the chair she indicated. The seating arrangement placed Rei between you and the executive, close enough that you caught the subtle scent of her perfume.

"Well, shall we discuss how the partnership has been progressing?"

Rei translated, but this time, she carried a hint of playfulness. "He wants to know how well we work together." Her emphasis on 'we' was subtle but unmistakable.

.

The conversation flowed, a dance of languages and meanings. With each translation, Rei seemed to grow bolder, a lingering glance here, a subtle shift in her chair there. Her translations remained professional, but her body language told a different story.

"How do you manage your team?" the executive asked, innocently enough.

Rei's eyes sparkled as she translated. "He's curious about how you... handle things." Her foot brushed against yours under the table, too deliberate to be accidental.

"I believe in being... hands-on when necessary," you replied, maintaining eye contact.

She turned to the executive, translating your words with perfect professionalism, but her crossed legs angled slightly more toward you. The rest of the meeting became a delicate balance, maintaining corporate decorum while an undercurrent of tension built with each exchanged glance, each "accidental" touch.

The executive seemed pleased with the discussion, checking his watch. "I believe we've covered everything now, unless you have any other questions?"

Rei's translation came with a subtle bite of her lip. "He's wrapping up. But I'm sure there's more we could... discuss."

The professional facade was cracking, replaced by something electric, dangerous, and entirely unprofessional. But as you caught her eye, you knew neither of you cared anymore. "That could be arranged,"

Rei’s eyes lingered onto yours a bit longer than necessary as she turned to the executive. "I have no other questions,"

As the executive gathered his papers, Rei translated his closing remarks with perfect professionalism, but her eyes told a different story entirely. The tension that had been building throughout the meeting was reaching its breaking point.

"Thank you for taking the time to meet today," the executive said, standing and extending his hand.

"He said thank you for the stimulating... conversation," Rei translated, her voice low enough that only you could hear the suggestion in her tone.

You shook the executive's hand, maintaining your composure despite the heat crawling up your neck. After exchanging pleasantries, Rei led you back into the hallway, her heels clicking against the polished floor with newfound purpose.

"I should show you around before you leave," she said, loud enough for anyone nearby to hear, not that anyone understood it anyway. Then, leaning closer, she whispered, "There's a utility room at the end of this hallway. Nobody uses it this time of day."

Your pulse quickened as you followed Rei down the corridor, past busy offices and meeting rooms. To anyone watching, it was just the translator guiding a visitor, nothing more.

She slowed her pace as you approached a door near the end of the hall. Glancing quickly in both directions, Rei reached for the handle.

The door opened to reveal a small storage room, shelves of office supplies, a utility sink, and not much else. But neither of you were looking at the surroundings as she pulled you inside, closing the door behind you.

She locked the door. The moment it clicked, she turned to you, professionalism cracking at the edges. "So," she murmured, voice dipping lower, "let's talk about that hands-on management style."

You didn’t bother with words.

Your mouth was on hers in an instant, capturing her gasp as you pressed her against the nearest shelf. It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t patient. The tension that had been building throughout the meeting snapped in an instant.

She matched your urgency, her hands already at your tie, loosening it with quick, practiced movements. Your fingers traced the buttons of her blouse, slipping one free, then another, revealing smooth skin beneath.

"I've been thinking about this since I saw you through the lobby," Rei whispered against your mouth, her fingers already working at your tie.

The confined space of the storage room amplified every breath, every rustle of clothing, every muffled sound, everything. Your hands found her waist, the smooth fabric of her blouse a stark contrast to the heat emanating from beneath.

"Someone could hear us," you murmured, even as your actions contradicted your words.

"Then we'll have to be quiet," she replied, a dangerous gleam in her eyes. Her fingers moved with surprising dexterity, undoing your coat with practiced ease. "Unless you want me to translate that too? Let them know what we’re doing."

The joke broke the tension for just a moment before it rebuilt, stronger than before. Your hands found the edge of her skirt, bunching the fabric as she pressed harder against you.

"No more talking," she commanded, professional composure completely forgotten. She reached for your belt, working it open with precision.

The small room felt electric, charged with the hours of pent-up energy released in this stolen moment. Office supplies rattled on nearby shelves as you both moved against them, neither caring about maintaining order anymore.

You turned her around swiftly, hands rested on the curve of her hips, guiding her against the stacked shelf. Her breath hitched as your fingers slid up the smooth skin of her thighs, bunching her skirt higher until it barely covered her. Her palms pressed against the shelf, nails barely scratching the metal frame as she arched back, offering herself without a word. You could feel the heat radiating from between her legs, her body betraying how long she’d been waiting for this.

"You're already soaked," you murmured, running a finger along the thin strip of fabric that barely covered her. A soft, muffled gasp escaped her lips as you traced slow circles over her panties, teasing, taunting.

"Do you want me to translate how much I need you right now?" she whispered, voice thick with desire.

Instead of answering, you hooked your fingers into the waistband and tugged her panties down, letting them slide past her thighs before they dropped to her ankles. She kicked them aside without hesitation, spreading her legs wider in silent invitation.

Your fingers dipped between her folds, spreading her open, feeling how wet she was. "Fuck," you breathed, dragging your fingertips through the slickness before pressing one inside her. She clenched around you instantly, her breath catching as she bit back a moan.

"You need to be quiet," you reminded her, sliding another finger in, stretching her, curling just enough to make her shudder. "Unless you want everyone out there to know what a filthy little professional you really are."

Her head dropped forward, forehead resting against the shelf as she fought to control herself. You freed yourself, lining up at her entrance, teasing her with the head of your cock.

You gripped her hips, holding her still as you teased her entrance, rubbing against her, coating yourself in her wetness. "Tell me how badly you want it."

She turned her head slightly, eyes blazing as she met your gaze over her shoulder. "I’ve wanted it the second I saw you in that lobby," she admitted, voice barely above a whisper. "Now stop teasing and fuck me."

A growl rumbled low in your throat as you thrust into her, burying yourself in one smooth, deep stroke. Her mouth fell open in a silent cry, fingers tightening around the edge of the shelf. You gave her a moment to adjust before pulling back and slamming into her again, the sound of skin meeting skin filling the small space.

"God—" she gasped, cutting herself off, trying to suppress her moans.

You grinned, gripping a handful of her hair and pulling her head back. "Careful," you warned, your lips brushing her ear. "Wouldn't want anyone to walk in and see you like this, bent over, dripping, taking every inch like you were made for it."

Her only response was a desperate whimper, her walls tightening around you, her body pushing back against yours, seeking more. You gave it to her fast, deep, relentless. The shelf rocked against the wall with every thrust, papers slipping loose, pens scattering onto the floor, but neither of you cared.

"You're so fucking tight," you groaned, your grip on her hips bruising as you drove into her harder, faster. She was trembling now, her legs shaking, her breath uneven as she neared the edge.

"Please," she panted, barely able to get the word out. "Don’t stop."

You reached around, finding her clit, rubbing harsh, quick circles in time with your thrusts. Her whole body tensed, back arching, muscles tightening as she came hard around you, her orgasm crashing over her in silent, shaking waves, pushing your cock out of her.

You felt her soft thighs press around your length. The slick wetness from her previous orgasm made it easy for your cock to slide in and out smoothly between the soft flesh of meat, lightly brushing her still dripping folds. Each slow thrusts teasing, matched with your hand creeping up to her perfectly sized breast.

Rei let out cute little whimpers, her fingers tightening around the shelf, trying to steady herself as you plant gentle kisses along her nape. You ran your hands up her sides, tracing her ribs through the thin fabric of her blouse before gripping her waist again, controlling her movements, making sure she felt every inch of you sliding between her thighs.

Her thighs squeezed tighter, the sensation delicious as you picked up the pace, fucking into that soft, slick heat. You could feel how wet she still was, how close she was again. "Sensitive?" You murmured against her ear, dragging your lips along the curve of her neck, sucking lightly, just enough to make her jerk, but not enough pressure to leave a mark, at least not for now.

Rei shivered, nodding weakly as she bit her lip before turning her face to you. Your fingers trailed down, dipping between her legs, teasing her folds just as your cock slid past. She jerked against you, a sharp inhale escaping her lips as you circled her clit again, rubbing in time with your thrusts. Her pleading eyes stared at yours, full of hunger, desires. Warm breaths hitting you before you closed the tiny gap in between your faces, claiming her plump lips, tounges slithering together, savoring each other’s taste.

There she was again with her cute whimpers, this time, against your mouth, her body trembling against yours, breathing uneven. Lewd wet sounds of your exchanged heat echoing the small space, the universal language of sex that didn’t need any translation for anyone to understand.

You felt yourself getting close, the friction of her plush thighs, the heat of her soaked pussy just barely out of reach, driving you to the edge. You pulled back at the last second, gripping her hips with both hands as you turned her around. Rei blinked up at you, dazed, her pupils blown wide with lust. Her lips were slightly parted, her breathing still ragged.

Her back hitting the shelf as you lifted one of her legs, hitching it over your arm. The new angle exposed everything, her swollen, dripping entrance, still twitching from her last orgasm, waiting, begging for you to fill her again with your cock.

You lined yourself up, teasing her entrance with the head of your cock, reveling in the way she shuddered, her fingers gripping at your shoulders for support.

"Please…" Her voice was barely a whisper, but the desperation in it made something snap inside you. You thrust into her in one hard stroke, burying yourself to the hilt. The shelves behind her hit against the wall, the remaining office supply containers dropping down the floor. You somehow felt bad for someone who’s gonna clean all this mess, the wasted sheet of papers already unusable, soaked with Rei’s cum.

You didn’t give her time to adjust this time. You set a punishing rhythm, deep, unrelenting, each thrust forcing her against the shelf, her body completely at your mercy. Her nails dug into your shoulders as she held on, breaking her with every thrust. "Too much—!"

"You can take it," you growled, gripping her chin, forcing her to look at you. Her lips trembled, breath hot and uneven as she stared up at you, pupils wide, drowning in lust. "Yes, I can—ahh!"

You slammed into her harder, watching her back arch, her body forced against the shelf. The unrelenting force of your thrusts shaking both her and the unstable storage behind her.

"Don’t stop…" she gasped, nails raking down your back through the fabric of your shirt, her legs tightening around you as you drove into her relentlessly.

You grabbed her other thigh, lifting her completely off the ground, pressing her against the cold metal shelf as you held her in place, using your strength to fuck into her at a brutal pace. She had no choice but to take it, her body fully surrendered to you, trembling, shaking, as pleasure wracked through her.

"I-I’m gonna—!"

You felt it, her walls spasming around you, body shaking, a strangled cry escaping her lips as she—

Somebody knocked, forcing you to stay absolutely still, cock still burried deep into her, painfully halting Rei’s climax. You covered her mouth, preventing any unwanted cries of pleasure to be heard by someone out there. She’s still gasping, trying to catch her breath as you slowly continue your pace.

"What did he say?" You whispered before letting go of her mouth.

"Just asking if someone’s here,"

Coast is clear, you heard footsteps walking away from the room. You stared at each other, letting out breathy laughs.

"You were so close," you murmured against her ear, feeling the way her walls still fluttered around you, desperate for the release that had been stolen from her.

"F-fuck... I hate you," Rei whispered breathlessly, forehead pressing against yours, her nails digging into your shoulders. But her body betrayed her, still shifting against you, still silently pleading for more.

You smirked, pulling back just enough to watch her face as you rolled your hips, slow and deep, pressing her further into the cold shelf. "Hate me?" Another slow, deliberate thrust. "Or hate that I stopped?"

"A bit of both," she gasped, tilting her head back as pleasure took over her again.

"You wanna cum?"

Rei nodded frantically, staring at you with lips slightly parted, already lost in it again. "Please, make me cum,"

You gripped her thighs tighter, pressing it higher against your waist as you snapped your hips forward, resuming the brutal rhythm she needed, slamming into her deep and hard. She cried out, her voice muffled against your shoulder, her nails scratching down your back.

"You wanna scream?" you taunted, breath hot against her neck. "But you can’t, can you? Not unless you want them to hear how filthy you are, getting fucked like this in a storage room."

She nodded weakly, biting her lip to keep the moans inside.

"Then cum," you growled, thrusting harder, fingers digging into her skin as you drove her over the edge. Her whole body tensed, her pussy clenching down on you, squeezing tight as she came violently, her muffled moan vibrating against your skin.

You groaned, feeling the way she milked your cock, every pulse pushing you closer, her tight, dripping heat dragging you into oblivion.

"Fuck Rei,"

You buried yourself as deep as you could, white-hot pleasure crashing over you as you came inside her, filling her completely. She whimpered, shivering as she felt it, her body still shaking, still coming down from her high as you spilled every last drop into her.

Silence settled between you, both panting, pressed against each other, sweaty, spent.

You finally dropped her legs down as you pulled back, watching your cum slowly dripping on her thighs. "Messy…" you murmured, smirking.

Rei let out a breathy laugh, legs still weak, arms wrapped lazily around your shoulders. "That was the best fuck I’ve had here."

You kissed her—slow, deep, savoring the taste of her.

"Should we clean up?" You pressed your forehead to hers, glancing around the wreckage of the storage room, office supplies scattered, papers ruined, and the unmistakable scent of sex heavy in the air.

"Should we?"

You both chuckled, fixing yourselves back into the professionals that you were before you went in that room. "You free tonight?" You ask her.

She leaned against the shelf to steady herself, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Tonight?" she asked, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.

"My hotel." you replied, straightening your tie.

Rei glanced at her watch, then took out a business card. She flipped it over, writing something on the back before pressing it into your palm. Her fingers lingered against yours.

With that, she unlocked the door, checked the hallway, and slipped out, once again the perfect professional. But the card in your hand, warm from her touch, promised this was only the beginning.

••••••••••

Extended version of @mintwithchoco's prompt.

[cornliastreett]

BED CHEM ⎯⎯ chapter seven

drew starkey x singer!reader

NAVIGATION !

BED CHEM MASTERLIST !

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

001. NOTE

🤭🤭 don’t have anything to say but enjoy

i haven’t proof read this chapter so apologies for any mistakes but i really wanted to get this up today

yourusername posted a photo !

liked by rudeth, zendaya and 1,073,278 others

yourusername went to some industry events

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user let’s hope she sees drew again 🤭

Y/N DIDN'T OFTEN EXPERIENCE DEJA VU, OR EVEN AT ALL. But when she locks eyes with Drew at yet another event, she feels it, causing her to almost irrupt into a fit of giggles. Was the universe trying to tell her something? Was there a reason it kept pulling her and Drew together?

He didn't approach her straight away, as he was in conversation with somebody else but he smiled, almost a smirk, before his eyes averted away. Meaning he didn't see the deep blush take over her face. She felt like she was back in High School. What was this man doing to her? Y/N needed to get it together before somebody caught on to the effect he had on her. Or before he caught on.

Little did she know, Drew was feeling the exact same. How could a girl he'd met no more than three times have such an effect on him? He'd locked eyes with Y/N, then looked away, but he couldn't stop thinking about her. The way her eyes sparkled when she saw him, the sound of her giggling at his pathetic attempts of flirting with her and the way she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Drew Starkey could not get Y/N Y/L/N out of his head, no matter how much he tried. Not that he was trying too hard.

After a few more minutes, Y/N had made her way over to the bar. She had brought Paloma along with her but she was long gone, Y/N assumed she was around somewhere trying to see who the most famous person she could talk to that night was. But Y/N didn't mind, not when she knew Drew was around somewhere.

The glass of her drink had barely reached her lips when a familiar voice spoke from behind her. "Well, well, well, fancy seeing you here." The voice spoke with a hint of amusement, causing her to smile. She placed her glass back on the bar and turned around.

There he was. Blue eyes staring into her own. "Hey, Starkey." Y/N teased, leaning back on the bar behind her. Her eyes quickly detoured down him, trying to covertly check him out but Drew saw, as clear as day.

"Oh, is that how it is? Not even first name basis." His eyebrows raised at Y/N’s words, teasing her. "I'm hurt, Y/L/N." Drew held his hand up to his chest. His chest that was covered in a black button up. Y/N noticed how he'd ditched the jacket, there was no tie, and the first three buttons had been disregarded. Showing off the top of his chest. Was he trying to kill her?

Unbeknown to her, she wasn't the only one focused on what the other one was wearing. Drew felt as though he couldn't breathe. Y/N looked unbelievable and he couldn't stop his eyes from dropping down. Who wore leather to an industry event anyway? But he wasn't going to complain.

Y/N frowned in a teasing way. "Drew isn't even your first name anyway." She pointed out before raising her own eyebrows.

"How do you know that?" Drew laughed, had she been Googling him?

"Maddie told me." Y/N shrugged her shoulders. It wasn't a big deal that her and Maddie were talking about him, right?

"You've been talking about me with Maddie?" Drew's face had unknowingly lit up.

Y/N felt her face heat up again but she tried to brush it off. "Maybe." She reached for her drink to distract Drew from her flushed face. "So, Joseph, are you following me or what?" Y/N then changed the subject, they didn't need to discuss that she was talking about him with Madelyn.

"You wish." Drew laughed, crossing his arms over his chest, trying to act cool. But all Y/N could focus on was how his shirt tightened around his biceps when he did that.

Her eyes went back up to his face, and Drew expected her to laugh but she didn't. "Maybe I do." She wasn't going to lie.

"Oh yeah?" Drew smirked and Y/N's body reacted in a way she had never felt before.

"Yeah." She mirrored his smirk.

And that was it for the rest of the night. The two were glued to each other. Y/N and Drew had migrated over to the very end of the bar together, sitting opposite each other on two bar stools. Y/N hadn't even noticed but every time one of them had stood up, their stools seemed to get closer and closer together. Till their knees were slotted in between one another's. Y/N's left leg was slotted firmly between Drew's, meaning she could not move away. Luckily, she hadn't wanted to.

That had also meant Y/N was in perfect reaching distance of Drew. So he could place his hand directly onto her knee, casually without being too obvious.

The first time he did it, she had noticed. Although she had been wearing leather trousers, his hand felt as though it was burning a hole through them. The next few times he did it, she hadn't noticed as much. Then in the end, he hadn't even moved it away. Drew's hand stayed there till they had left that night.

There was laughing, and giggling from Y/N, flirting and teasing. If anyone was in earshot of the two, it would've been plastered all over the news the next morning. But nobody was really paying attention to either of them. Which was nice. Y/N didn't have to worry about what anybody would say.

The only person who really took notice was Paloma, who had circled back around to find Y/N. But when Paloma saw who Y/N was with, she decided to stay away. She hadn't seen her that happy in a while.

After an hour, or maybe two, of talking, Y/N was maybe tipsy enough to be braver than she usually would. Their last conversation had ended. Drew's hand was still resting on Y/N’s knee but now her hand was with his, fingers running over his own and over his rings. She hesitated before she spoke but meant every word. "Would it be totally inappropriate to ask you if you wanna get out of here?" Y/N said, eyes flickering up to meet his. She smirked, running her fingers around his own and holding them. The tension between the two was becoming too much for them both.

"Absolutely not, let's go." And Y/N had never seen Drew move so fast. Although he didn't let go of her hand, he used the other one to down his drink and he stood up, taking Y/N with him.

She had started to giggle at his eagerness but found it oddly attractive. "Okay, slow down." She said in between laughter leaving her mouth. She brought his hand closer to herself, gaining his attention.

"You want me to slow down?" Drew raised an eyebrow at her as he placed the glass back down on the bar.

Y/N paused, staring up into his eyes. Did she want him to slow down? "No, not really." She said softly, before letting Drew practically drag her out of the building.

A taxi took them back to Y/N's apartment. Only because it was closer. Y/N had also texted Paloma while in the taxi, telling her she'd left with Drew and that she'd pay for a taxi for her back to her apartment. She felt awful for ditching her friend but she knew she wouldn't mind, Paloma wasn't that kind of person.

The taxi ride was filled with Y/N's giggles as Drew whispered things into her ear. They couldn't keep their hands off each other as Y/N found herself unbuttoning more buttons on Drew's shirt. Her nails tracing patterns into his skin. Her touch was electric and Drew knew he wouldn't be able to stay away from her now.

When they got dropped off at her apartment building, Y/N led Drew inside. He followed behind her as she made her way over to the elevators. Y/N pressed the button and felt Drew press himself into her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist softly. Drew's lips then found her neck, and her collarbone, and her shoulders. He only stopped when the doors opened in front of them.

The two adults stumbled inside, more laughter leaving Y/N's mouth. She pressed her back against the wall of the elevator, after pressing the right floor number. Drew stood in front of her, towering over her small frame. Y/N slowly wrapped her arms around Drew's shoulders, bringing herself closer to his face. They didn't move any closer, although there wasn't much room between them anyway. As they stared into each other's eyes. Y/N slowly moved her hands up to the back of his neck, stopping before bringing him any closer.

"If you kiss me right now, I am not going to be able to stay away from you." She admitted, eyes glancing down at his lips.

Drew wanted to laugh, was that supposed to make him want him to stop? "Maybe that's exactly what I want." Drew told her before he closed the distance between them himself.

Y/N had never had a first kiss so electrifying. She'd never had one that made her body feel on fire and so calm at the same time. It just felt right.

But unfortunately, it was short lived as the sound of the elevator doors opening forced the two apart. Y/N grabbed hold of Drew's hand, dragging him along behind her to her apartment. She dug her keys from her bag, fumbling with them as she tried to unlock the door. When she finally did, Drew followed her inside and into her kitchen, where Y/N threw her phone and bag onto the side.

"Do you want a —" She attempted to ask Drew if he wanted a drink, trying to occupy herself as she wasn't really sure what was about to happen next and didn't want to just assume why Drew had accompanied her back to her apartment. Although the reason she assumed, she really hoped was the reason.

Luckily for Y/N, she didn't need to assume as Drew spun her around and pressed her against the kitchen counter. Drew's lips found Y/N's again, but this time it was more forceful, more passionate. It meant more than a hesitant, slow kiss in an elevator. This one was leading somewhere.

The kiss became faster, like they were afraid the other would disappear. Drew's hands found a place on Y/N's waist, gripping the leather covering her skin. Y/N's had found place on Drew's jaw, giving her a sense of control. They continued, till Y/N needed to catch her breath. She pulled away, keeping her hands on Drew's face but Drew had other plans. His mouth attached itself to Y/N's jawline, making it's way down to her neck and even further.

The sounds of Y/N's breathing filled the room as she attempted to fill her lungs again but Drew was making it awfully difficult. Her empty fingers found space in his hair, nails scratching his scalp. Drew had lightly nipped the skin above her collarbone, eliciting a soft moan from Y/N's lips. "You have no idea how much I have thought about this since meeting you." Drew's words were muffled, not wanting to remove himself from Y/N.

Y/N found herself smiling, even though Drew couldn't see. "I think I have a slight idea."

Finally, Drew had removed his face from her neck. His face was red and his lips were swollen but Y/N had never been more attracted to him. "God, you're so beautiful." His 6 foot 2 frame towered over her 5 foot one. "I can die a happy man now."

A laugh escaped Y/N's lips as she shook her head at the man. "You're ridiculous."

"Is that why you're blushing?" He smirked, leaning his head back down but stopped before their lips touched.

"Just stop talking and kiss me."

"Yes, ma'am."

BED CHEM TAGLIST !

tags: @esquivelbianca @ts1mp0ne @fruitcakerafe @anothertimegirl @soincredible @ursogorgeous13 @drewsephrry @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @hypnotizedstarkey @harrys-housewife @st8rkey @lyannesworld @bxbychxrry @midnight-and-books @dontknow3m @amel1ee @preyperch-blog @dreamybabbyy @lolasangelz @nai12 @drewstarkeysbabe @blog-luvdance @darlingstarkey @chillgal135 @blushmimi @fveapplestall @rlalliehayes @moonssyrup @pamwired @kissesandmartinis @sereneera @imtalkinnonsense @starkeybae

[gffa]

I love your blog but I can't remember whether or not you're an author BUT I do remember that you know how characters are Supposed To Be.

So-

Do you have any tips on how to write Mace Windu?

Hi! I've written a few Star Wars fics, but probably not ones you've read. 😂 But here is what I would say about writing Mace Windu (or even just if you want to have fun discussing him, I'd love to know what others would say are the best ways to write him!): Mace is someone who is severe with an undercurrent of deep care, this is someone who is serious but whole-heartedly believes in helping others and doing the right thing as best he can. He is a Jedi to his core, which means he holds compassion as the highest value and there's a subtle warmth to him if you care to look. He will place his life on the line to help people, if others have done their best, he will acknowledge it, if they have something of value to add, he will turn to them and ask them to say what they have to say, he will make sure his clones get through a battle if there's any way he can help them, he will gently touch the Zillo beast's face to comfort it, he will jump down into a ravine and smile at a child who needs help, he will stop to ask baby Anakin if his chip removal scar is healing, he will patiently explain Jedi beliefs to him if he's not quite getting it, he will grump at Yoda that their campaign isn't going the way he'd like, but will still easily sit down and meditate with him and find comfort in that. He's not someone who is a big ray of sunshine, he's too serious for that, he has far too much responsibility on his shoulders and holds them with gravitas, he'll tell someone to take a seat if they're getting out of line (he has more patience with children, but adults he'll treat as adults), he's not going to coddle someone who isn't trying their best, but at the heart of him, he is someone who genuinely wants the best for people, who will wrestle with his anger over injustice and win over it because he has spent a lifetime wrangling his anger into compassion, because he truly believes in the Jedi path, and always do what he believes is right. He takes administrative politics seriously, because he knows that he can't just defy them without consequences that would hurt people in the long run, which may appear cold to others who don't really know him but fundamentally, Mace Windu is a deeply caring man who is trying to help as many people as he can, he has dedicated his life to helping all people, even those who would spit on him, he still does his best to understand their circumstances and find sympathy for them. (Like when Prosset Dibs fell to the dark side, tried to kill Mace and said that he would dance on the Jedi's graves, Mace's response was to say that it was their duty to help him back to the light and put him on archive duty, rather than any serious punishment.) Mace can occasionally crack a very dry joke, he does have a sense of humor, but it's fairly rare. He'll be curt if he's having a bad day, especially if someone is getting out of their lane at him, but not unfairly and never with cruelty. He's a phenomenal athlete even among the Jedi, he's brilliant at what he does, there's a reason he helps lead the Jedi, this is someone who embodies the very best of them. Admittedly, I'm biased because Mace is one of my favorite characters, so I'm less aware of his flaws (even if I'll defend why he's sometimes short with people, it's true that he can sometimes come off as abrasive and not as patient as he might in better times, but I think Mace should be allowed to have frayed nerves sometimes, too), but I do genuinely believe that Mace should be written as someone who is a very serious faced person but loves the galaxy so deeply that it's woven into his bones, who loves his culture and his people, who loves the people of the galaxy, who would give all of himself to help them.

[witherby]

I think a really cool day idea for Conner and mouse would be like the circus scene from Teen Titans were Robin let Starfire try some cotton candy and it’s really cute 



I remember that scene!!! Robin's absolutely lovesick expression was so romantic to me, even back then.

I didn't replicate that one-for-one, but they're certainly at a carnival! I hope you like it!

The Littlest Wayne: Carnival

(features: established relationship, Conner Kent x gn!Reader, fluff, discussions of structures that aren't OSHA compliant, kissing)

Masterlist is Here!

"That doesn't look safe."

"None of these rides really are," you admit, queueing into the line to ride the Wave Swinger with your boyfriend. "Pop-up carnivals are designed in such a way that they can be thrown up and taken down within a day or two. You can't really afford to bolt anything down because it isn't going to be there in a week."

Conner looks at you with incredulity. He looks like he's trying not to pout, which is adorable. You barely refrain from kissing him.

"Then why are we lining up to get on one?"

"S'part of the vibe," you explain, lifting your hands for emphasis. One of them is interlaced with your boyfriend's, so his arm gets swung around, too. "You don't really go to these things to walk around and then leave again. You gotta ride a ride while wondering in the back of your mind if this is how it ends. You gotta spend way too much money playing a rigged game to win a prize that wasn't worth even a third of what you spent to earn it. You gotta eat a bunch of deep-fried foods that shouldn't be deep-fried and feel incredibly nauseated for the next two days about it. That's the real Carnival Experience™."

"This doesn't sound fun, M," Conner says. "I can take you on a flight and pretend to drop you a couple times. I can ask you for an absurd amount of money and not pay it back for like a week. I can cook you dinner and narrowly avoid giving you food poisoning. We don't have to be here."

"Trust me, it wouldn't be the same," you insist, moving up in the line. This swing ride is one of your favorites, next to The Whip, but you haven't seen one of those in a few years. "It's also the atmosphere. You're surrounded by fun, neon colors and happy strangers and screaming children — it's all part of the experience."

"Yeah..." Conner grimaces, gaze a little distant. "I could do without the screaming children."

"Oh, right," you frown, digging out a specialized pair of earbuds from your pocket and offering them to him. They help muffle out extra sensitive sounds for him, like breathing and footsteps and other people's heartbeats, so he can better control what noise he chooses to perceive. "Here."

Conner takes them, briefly letting go of your hand to put them in, then un-tenses his shoulders and offers you a thin smile.

"That's better," he admits, "but I still think getting on rides knowing they aren't bolted down properly is stupid."

"Welcome to the carnival," you grin. You both shuffle forward in the line, close enough now that you'll be able to get on next round. "You're gonna love this."

"I can fly, M. I don't think I'm gonna care."

Then it turns out he cares. He cares a lot. He actually cares so much. When you and Conner get strapped into your seats, he's white knuckling the chains keeping his chair suspended off the ground.

"You're joking. There's one little bike chain keeping me in this chair and there's a single hook on top holding me up. You're actually joking."

You start spinning and twisting around in your own chair, gleeful. "Isn't it great?"

"No??"

"Alrighty riders. Please refrain from bouncing, spinning, twisting, or yanking on the chains. When the ride is in motion do not grab onto other riders' chairs. Keep the strap secure across your waist while the ride is in motion, and do not attempt to remove it until it comes to a complete stop again. Enjoy."

Conner flinches when the chairs lift into the air. He watches the ground get pulled out from under him, shitty carnival music starting to come out of the speakers while the lights on the ride start flashing. If he weren't invulnerable, he'd be losing his mind right now. How are you able to enjoy such risky activities!? Are you insane!? Actually — you're the one civilian child to a family of crime fighting vigilantes. Of course you're insane.

He looks up to make another comment, but the words quickly die in his throat. Because you look stunning.

You look great all the time, of course. Conner loves to look at you, and you know that. But as the ride starts to spin and your chair starts swaying with the wind, you throw your head back and laugh. You spread your arms out to your sides and kick your feet, eyes closed and hair fanned out.

You're practically ethereal when you're having fun. Conner watches the colorful lights dance over your skin and feels himself falling even more in love with you than he already is. He never wants the ride to end, if it means he gets to see you like this forever.

Using the trick Clark taught him, he speeds himself up to slow the world down, giving himself more time to admire you. To you, it's just a couple minutes in the air, but to him it's hours of unbridled admiration. When you're finally lowered to the ground again, he's unlatched himself from his seat and come around to kiss you.

"Let's go find another ride," he mumbles against your lips. You smirk, victorious, and grab his hand. He's utterly helpless to do anything but trail after you.

"Knew you'd come around. It's the Carnival Experience, babe; it pulls everyone in! Never should've doubted me."

"Yeah..." He says, smiling like a lovesick idiot. It's definitely the rides and games and people making him feel this good, and not the echo of your happy heartbeat or the image of your carefree smile under the neon lights burned into his memory. "Shouldn't have doubted you."

[sworeidnevercompromise]

ꨄ︎ pillow talk: a drew starkey smau < part five > series masterlist

divider creds: @adornedwithlight

youruser

liked by drewstarkey and others youruser one (!!!!!) day until pillow talk is in theaters EVERYWHERE. i'm so so so so excited for all of you to be able to see it. grab ur popcorn & go see it TOMORROW!

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drewstarkey featured ・ ♥️ by author

hommegirls little magazine moment ・ ♥️ by author

bestfrienduser i'm already in the theater

youruser @/bestfrienduser and you will be rewatching forever and ever i just know it

y/nweloveyou already saw it at new bev but i'm so going to see it again

sabrinacarpenter okay matcha moment

youruser @/sabrinacarpenter that's that me matcha

y/nsource right yes but where are the tights from

youruser @/y/nsource they're capezio tights!

drewy/nthinker y/n x drew crumbs yay i'm living

m8trondhotel @/drewy/nthinker more than crumbs girl this is lowkey a full appetizer

drewstarkeyfan husband alert in slide 5 helloooo

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drewstarkey

liked by youruser and others drewstarkey thanks for the surprise @/youruser. belated birthday party was wicked. pillow talk comes out tomorrow. C U AT THE MOVIES

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youruser california knows how to party! ・ ♥️ by author

youruser made that cake all by myself btw

drewy/nthinker @/youruser so when you wrote "happy birthday love you" did you mean that as a friend or like what bc i'm SCREAMING over here

madelyncline BIRTHDAYYYYYY (again!)

alexanderludwig big three one

hichasestokes LIVE IT UP!

jonathandavissofficial cakes & candles

reputation1389 so y/n can make a stupid fucking cake what's the big deal jfc

supercargo @/reputation1389 sybau

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drewstarkey 10m

y/nscloset

liked by y/nsangels and others y/nscloset PILLOW TALK OFFICIAL RELEASE LOOK!!!! okay SERVEEE

drewy/nthinker

liked by drewstarkeyfan and others drewy/nthinker via @/filmupdates on twitter

deuxmoi

liked by drewy/nthinker and others

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y/nsource uhhhh what

drewy/nthinker there's no way

drewy/nthinker like i want this to be true so badly but im not gonna get my hopes up bc i feel like they wouldve gone public with their relationship by now

samanthasnarkington i ship drew & y/n as much as the next guy but speculating that they're together just because you like heard them say the word engagement is crazy. like for all we know either of them could be marrying someone else. or maybe they were discussing someone else's engagement. like this is crazy ngl

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youruser

liked by drewstarkey and others youruser so! pillow talk officially released yesterday! this movie has genuinely changed my life and given me so many meaningful relationships. i love love love all of my costars & genuinely could not have asked for a better filming experience. LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AHHHHHHHHHHHH 💚💚💚

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drewstarkey beautiful ・ ♥️ by author

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bestfrienduser so happy that filming this movie changed ur life but also grateful its over so we can hang out again

youruser @/bestfrienduser HAHA i love you

alexanderludwig And we love you! ・ ♥️ by author

davidjonsson_ totally forgot about slide 7 😂

youruser @/davidjonsson_ i'm a comedic genius

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alexanderludwig

liked by youruser and others alexanderludwig @/pillowtalkmovie is finally out everywhere! Some of my favorite memories happened on set for this movie. Love sharing inside jokes & secrets with you all. Here's to us.

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drewstarkey hell yeah ・ ♥️ by author

youruser AGHHH LOVE U !! ・ ♥️ by author

officialmikeymadison_ yeah pretty big secrets we're keeping

youruser @/officialmikeymadison_ LOLOLOLOL

pillowtalkmovie memories that'll last a lifetime ・ ♥️ by author

a24 ♥️ ・ ♥️ by author

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y/nweloveyou

liked by y/nsangels and others y/nweloveyou via y/n's insta stories IS SHE TASTING WEDDING CAKES? WAS DEUXMOI RIGHT FOR ONCE?

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samanthasnarkington honestly i have no idea if deuxmoi was right. like clearly somethings up because she & the entire pillow talk cast have limited their comments but ??? idk! i bet she's sick of people speculating its drew ・ ♥️ by author

strawberrysammy okay so shes definitely engaged but TO WHO THOUGH

y/nsangels off topic but those cake slices look so fucking good

allurcoupons this queen omfg

lisa_logannnn well whoever she's engaged to is insanely lucky she is so gorgeous ・ ♥️ by author

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y/neditsss

liked by y/nssangels and others y/neditsss this interview from the pillow talk press tour is so cute. ever since she this movie started filming she's seemed so much more hopeful & happy. love her sm @/youruser

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youruser I LOVE YOU THIS IS SO CUTE WTF ・ ♥️ by author ・ 📌 by author

taysmicrophone "seemed so much more hopeful & happy" yeah because she and drew were def falling in love during the filming of pillow talk

y/nweloveyou she's so well spoken

samanthasnarkington why is this edit 20 hours long

maleaunt yeah she's joyous she's def in love. y'all think the engagement thing is true?

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bestfrienduser 5min

[sacredsorceress]

hi! i’m new to your account , i came from your fluffy oldman!logan headcannons and they were to die for!! i loved it so much!!!

if you find time, do you mind making 40s!bucky barnes x reader headcannons but before hydra had taken him away? yknow, going to see stark expo, waiting for him to return from war, all that jazz?

i’m sure it will be amazing !!!! thank you so much , i really appreciate it !!🤍🤍

hi!! welcome to my account- I'm so happy to have you join us!! if you're new here and a fan of 40s!bucky I recommend checking out my 40s!Bucky Barnes x Rogers!Reader Collection but omg thank you for this because I love any excuse to discuss 40s buck.

⋆｡°✩ Dating 1940's!Bucky ⋆｡°✩

ask box

The first time you met was at a dance club.

Bucky had been staring at you from across the room the entire night: watching the way your face lit up when you laughed along with your friends, and how your feet tapped along to the rhythm of the music as your friends danced while you watched their bags.

Your friends had teased you about your admirer, but you assured them they were seeing things. That was until with a clap on the back by his own friends, Bucky pushed himself out of his seat and strode across the room to you.

“Hey, doll.” Bucky smiled, putting out his cigarette. “Wanna dance?”

And who were you to say no?

From then on you were inseparable. You met Steve within the week and his mother within the month.

Before you, he had never taken home a single girl to meet his mother and sister. When Bucky had suggested it to his mother, she had a sneaky feeling that you were the one.

"What are we having for dinner on Friday, Ma?"

"I don't know, James. Why?" His mother asked

"I was just thinking... I could invite.. this girl over," Buck said, drumming his fingers on the countertop to play it cool. "Think you'll like her."

His mother would turn back to stirring the pot to hide her smile as his sister smothered a laugh beside her.

"Sure, hon." His mother said. "I'd love to meet her."

And when she finally did meet you? Boy was she a fan. Someone had finally managed to rangle her "lady's man" son into the type of guy who pulled out your chair for you, fumbled over his words with a blush, and said "please" and "thank you" to his mother when she passed a dish all to impress you.

He’d ask you to call him James instead of Bucky. Bucky was what his friends called him, but he wanted a name held exclusively for you.

He’d show up to your job with a bouquet of flowers he bought off some kid on the street and all the ladies in the office would gush.

“You’ve got a good one sweetie.”

“-And handsome! Look at that face!”

As mentioned above, when Bucky found out that the Stark Expo was in town he would have bought you both (and Steve) tickets before even asking you.

"Wow..." Bucky sighed, gob smacked, pulling you towards the stage where the flying car levitated above the ground. "You think there's enough room in the back seat for us to-"

"James!"

"Just messin' with you, hun." He laughed, kissing your forehead. "My car works just fine."

When his Ma and Rebecca were out he would slow dance with you in the apartment, letting the echoes of someone playing trumpet outside drift through the window and transport you into a world of your own.

I have a feeling he would always be sneaking up on you.

"James!"

"Aw, don't worry, doll." Bucky laughed, kissing your cheek. "Just me."

When Bucky got the letter in the mail, notifying him that he was being drafted, he was alone. His hands shook as he imagined everything that he had built crashing down and before he even realized what he was doing, Bucky had asked his mother for her engagement ring.

When he saw you later that evening, you could immediately tell that something was off. Bucky had tried to play it off for the first thirty minutes before he could no longer bear it and shoved the letter into your hands.

"James..." You sighed, a crack in your voice. "What are we going to do?"

With shaky hands, he pulled the ring from his pocket and held it between you.

"Let's get married." He said. "I don't wanna go away without you being mine. Just say yes, sweetheart."

Two weeks later you were married in a modest ceremony with Steve as his best man and a reception that followed in his mother's apartment.

On the day he went off to war, you pulled him into a passionate kiss with a tug on his tie. His hands found themselves tangled in your hair as you gripped his lapels, praying if you just held on tight enough that you could keep him there.

With a lipstick stain imprinted on his cheek, you let your husband go. As Steve held you, you kept your watchful eye on Bucky until he was nothing more than a glimmer in the distance.

You wrote him letters every day. Although his responses were infrequent and short, they were drenched with love and longing.

Three months after Bucky left, you discovered you were pregnant.

When he found out, he was a blubbering mess at camp, telling Steve he had to get home.

But he never did.

Six months later, you delivered a baby girl and managed to get a call through to him from some camp they were at (perks of being Cap's best friend).

"You did such a good job, sweetheart." He said, fist in his mouth biting back a sob at the wailing of his baby girl in the background. "Fuck. I'll be home soon."

On the day Bucky died, Steve called you. You weren't sure what it was but before you had even picked up the phone, your heart had sank to your stomach. You knew.

Your soldier never did come back home.

When Bucky finally remembered who he was all those years later in 2016 and found himself at a museum exhibit in honor of him and Steve, he experienced a fresh shock when you appeared on screen.

Your hair had gone gray and fresh wrinkles crinkled at the corner of yours eyes as you smiled, reminiscing over the past- his past with you. You still looked the same, but with the fresh maturity of a woman who had lived, not the girl he had left behind.

"I always said the cigarettes would kill him," You laughed, wiping a tear away with a shaky hand. "If only I knew."

When Bucky finally regained control of himself and his memories, the realization of the life you lost because of his death is what haunted him more than any crime of the Winter Soldier's.

The life he promised you on lone nights staring up at the stars from his rooftop or in his vows on your wedding day were all for naught. You would never have a house of your own, a giggling gang of children who had his smile and your eyes, vacations to different parts of the country... none of it together- none of it shared.

Though, when Bucky first met your daughter that even at the age of eighty had a hint of his smile and your mannerisms, he sobbed.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

"Don't feel sorry," She said sliding a rusted locket into Bucky's hands. "Mom always kept a photo of you on her. She never forgot you. So I guess you were with us after all."

Inside, a photo of the two of you on your wedding day stared back at him. This time he wasn't haunted but freed.

i had too much time to think and this became sad, oops!! sorry nonnie, but I hope you liked it <3. i also apologise if this is riddled with spelling errors,

we're chatting about our favourite MCU guys over in the ask box!!

[deangelis03]

We Need To Talk About Auguste!

Laurent's brother haunts all the narrative of the Capri trilogy and still we know almost close to nothing about him, execpt for all that glorification due to his position as Crown Prince, which puts him on an altar even Laurent has difficulty to take him off of it. Not only because the characters are always comparing the two of them (even Damen, who barely knew Auguste at all), but also because Laurent canonically adores and worships his older brother, putting him even higher (and here my intention is not to discredit Auguste. I'm sure he was hardworking and dedicated, but come on, guys, he was also human.)

Which takes us to the subject I've been very curious to discuss and see the fandom's POV about: The Parentification of Auguste. An inevitable event in almost all older siblings life (and I say this as an older sister who had to help raise her little one.)

Now, we know (or at least we assume to) the basics about Vere's Royal Family dynamics thanks to the hints in each book. From my interpretation (and you can correct me here) Aleron favoured Auguste, which lead us to conclude Hennike was closer to Laurent. We all know "Auguste was the protector and would do anything for his younger brother''. This adoration is mutual to both brothers. Now let's talk about Auguste's early years.

Let's talk about a lonely Prince. One who indeed got his parents attention grewing up, but only briefly and ended up delegated to his nurses as soon as more pressing matters appeared. His parents were King and Queen, after all. There was always something to do; and we know how noble children used to be educated. Let's think about an Auguste who was close to his father yes, but in a King and his Heir way, which to me looks like a professional/academic way. I'm sure they had their moments of course, all families do. But do you think someone truly knew Auguste before Laurent was born? Not Auguste De Vere, the Golden Heir to the Throne, just Auguste? I don't think so. Auguste was a Prince. His life was full of formalities and appearances, he was a symbol. There was always expectations on him. Until Laurent came along.

To me, Laurent's birth gave Auguste something he'd never had before. An equal . Auguste was a Prince. He had every luxury his heart could desire. People adored him. Were ready to die for him if necessary. But Laurent was neither servant or sovereign. For the first time in his life he was in a position that required nothing more than his very true self. He didn't need to be Crown Prince Auguste, to Laurent he was simply Gus. So I think he fell in love the moment his eyes laid on newborn Laurent and never stoped loving him ever since.

Nobody can convince me Auguste, who knew exactly how the experience of growing up alone even thought living in such an attentive place was, would ever let his sweet, dear baby brother go through the same. With Aleron always on a tight schedule being King and Hennike intercalating in between being bedbound due to sickness and doing her Queen duties, I don't doubt Laurent's nurses and tutors answered to Crown Prince Auguste most often than not. I can clearly see him teaching Laurent, telling him stories and listening to his; patiently dealing with tantrums or calming him after a scare. I can see Auguste putting his baby brother to bed (and allowing Laurent to sleep on his bed most nights). I can see an Auguste worried sick as he and Paschal care for a sick little Laurent and Auguste vehemently refusing to leave his side even though he risks getting whatever bug Laurent has or letting him win their secret little games.

For the first 12 years of Laurent's life, there is not a day Auguste is not present. He is there every step of the way. So much that it wouldn't surprise me if a baby Laurent had first called Auguste papa instead of Aleron because in his infant mind he had beautiful yellow hair just like mama so therefore that must be papa .

Laurent was the best gift Auguste ever received and his most prized possession, I'm sure of it.

Laurent did not just lost a brother at that camp in Marlas. He lost his father figure. The only one who cared and loved him without titles and expectations and just for who he truly was.

[taxideermied]

Hi hi! Thanks all for the respectful discussion on this topic. I've enjoyed reading the notes and additions very much. I want to say, though, that this will be the last time I plan on discussing this topic on this post because I'm not particularly interested in full-time discourse on my blog, and also because it's becoming a little unwieldy for me personally to deal with a super long post lol. I am making this last addition for the sake of clarity as to my claims for anyone reading my blog, not to necessarily sway anyone's opinion.

With that said, I think some of my points have been missed/misconstrued.

Firstly, my original post was about mindful messaging more than anything. Mainly: if you have an issue with something in the community, don't swing a wide net because you risk hurting those adjecent to your problem. That physical nonhumanity was involved was tangential, but nonetheless that's where we went.

So, secondly, and I hope this is clear, I am not advocating for an anti-science approach to nonhumanity, nor am I advocating for blind faith. I specifically avoided the subject outside of my original post where I said the community at large discusses scientifically unverifiable experiences. I think we are all in agreement that self-perception such as Sundragon's "I feel like a dragon" is not scientifically verifiable, but is still "valid" in this space, so I don't feel the need to elaborate on that point.

Where I think my statements are unclear (and for the record, this is on me for not being as specific as I could have been) is in the issue of claim vs expression of personal experience. I think this in conjunction with "subjective verses objective experience" is a little bit difficult to parse so bare with me.

My sense of the community is that those who experience and discuss physical shifts do so because it is an expression of personal experience, not because it is a claim. This is a part of their nonhumanity for whatever reason they may have. It is not a claim because I have not seen anyone trying to prove their experience to anyone else, merely discuss it and relate to like-minded individuals. This does not mean you don't have to be skeptical, but I do not believe your disbelief means that these members of our community should self-censor or be subject to demands for proof. Someone talking about something they feel on a personal blog is not the same as them putting a thought into the "marketplace of ideas" to be debated and verified. While I don't think anyone in this thread did so directly, I feel like the line of thinking suggested here could encourage "proof demanding" behavior.

So what about the tricky subjective vs objective experience issue? Surely physical shapeshifting is an objective experience. Well, again, I think there's nuance here. Is the shifter in question insisting that the transformation is 100% verifiably happening in the reality experienced by others, so much so it could be captured on camera if only one worked properly in the moment? Or are they asserting that they perceive their own physical shifts? All objective experiences are filtered through a subjective lens because you are a brain that perceives the world through sensory organs. You are not experiencing a 1:1 recreation of the world. As a friend eloquently put it: "None of us experience reality-as-it-is. All of us, even people who don't know what a therian is, have some level of disconnect with objective reality. Our experience of the world is imperfect; talking about those experiences is not a claim about shared-truth, it's a claim about personal-truth." See: the parable of blind men touching an elephant. One person's experience of objective truth is not the disproving of another's, even if it conflicts.

Finally, there's the synthesis of these issues regarding how we shepherd the community from within.

If your issues with physical shifters is with those who claim to shift verifiably in a collective reality and claim this is something that can be taught or who otherwise encourage cult-like mentalities, then vis a vis my first point, say that those are the individuals and/or paradigms you take issue with. Nothing wrong with pointing out harmful practices, but lumping harmful ones in with harmless ones is irresponsible.

If your issues are with all physical nonhumans or those who discuss scientifically unverifiable personal objective experiences in a way that harms no one, then I would suggest, I guess, in the kindest terms, to get over it. What is the other option? As far as I can tell, censorship or other methods of driving these individuals out of the community, and I personally don't feel comfortable taking that route. I don't think we as a community would be better off in doing so.

Okay. I think that is everything. Thank you for bearing with me if you read all this, I appreciate it very much! If anyone is still interested in talking this over with me, shoot me an ask and I'll (maybe) respond. Like I said, not trying to be a discourse blog, so I can only do so much.

If you’re going to assert science in a community full of people discussing their scientifically unverifiable experiences I think you should consider what you’re really trying to say. If you’re not trying to call people liars then there’s probably a better way to go about making your point than enumerating the reasons why you think they’re lying.

[messymindpalace]

So here's my thoughts on the last episode that no one asked for but i need to say it anyway

Whitaker i just love you so much, you pathetic cute little man (i say this with utmost love and respect for my big eyes king 🤍)

Javandi and Matteo's interaction was so good and really a little spot of sunshine after last episode that had such a heavy vibe

Javandi is being such a great surprise, I'm loving her evolution

Collins, i just love you, glad Dana was there to support and hug you through this 🤍

"the kids you'll lose will linger" 🥺

my thoughts on Langdon x Santos were discussed here (because of course i'd need a separate post to express myself regarding these two)

i know McKay may seem so all over the place, but i just can't help but trust that her gut is right both with the vomiting's patient son and the woman suspected on being a victim of human trafficking...

Dana, this hospital doesn't deserve you! "She probably learned from you. Seriously? You just gave a speech titled "How to Literally Bury your feelings"." | "I wish you many, many Utahs in your life." | from all the staff of this hospital, you were literally the least one deserving that punch, that guy deserves one himself

[messrsrarchives]

Hi, what is your opinion on hp fans still making Rowling’s books relevant by being in the fandom and talking about it? (For example hp has been 2nd most popular fandom on ao3. so this puts light on her work) I feel kind of guilty, like I'm a bad person for not being strong enough to let go of something I love for the benefit of marginalized groups. I'm not giving her money, but many people still say that's not enough and that I'm still supporting her just by making the hp fandom alive. I'm struggling. How do you deal with this?

i've spoken about this so much yes !!! it's such an Issue. my second (?) pinned video on tiktok talks about this a bit but i'll yap here too !

it's such a big part of why i'm always talking about jkr because i can be doing absolutely everything right, and i'm still complicit in it, yk? we're all Here. we're all keeping her relevant. that's why the reboot in particular is so frustrating because so many marauders creators on tiktok posted about it and it's like,,, oh. we can't avoid this.

so what Can we do? i think for me it's letting myself feeling that guilt? i think if you're feeling a certain amount of guilt, you're aware and you're on the right track. i wouldn't trust someone who doesn't feel a slight bit guilty engaging here tbh, especially right now.

harry potter is always going to be one of the biggest fandoms and this is where alllll the other discussions i've had comes into it !!! like yes, boycotting is great.

blowing up celebs comments? random people's comments? engaging on the official hp tiktok? posting your old merch? etc etc - all of this is Bad too. even if it seems like a bit of fun. all of that encourages engagement with her, especially when those celebs are then asked about it on the red carpet etc.

i think it's just about the least possible harm but yeah. that guilt hasn't really gone in my experience. i try,,,? like talking about it a lot helps but it's Hard. it's hard when i'm dealing with all these restrictions irl and then i come online and,,, engage with hp. the guilt hasn't really gone even if i'm doing the best i can.

but i do think if you're doing it Right. if you're keeping it in the fandom, if you're boycotting, if you're having these conversations? then you're doing the best you can.

but no yeah it's just a countdown to the reboot for me. the marauders fandom has 1000% benefitted her (hence the pandering) so i think a lot of us are just waiting to see the response to that and taking it as our cue to leave

so this isn't very positive i'm sorry !! you've caught me in one of my funks where i've spent the last week beating myself up about having a hp tiktok lols so it's a Lot Of Guilt right now, because it's undeniable that we keep her relevant.

but it's down to us on whether that relevance is good or not, you know?

[pearlescentparade]

hello!! I'm very very sorry if this seems abrupt at all but I wanted to share some azure lore bits revealed by co-director juno ... I dearly wish I could link and share the screenshots that someone shared of juno discussing azure's facts, but unfortunately I can't do that as an anon (and I'd rather not reveal my primary blog, as it is very personal ^-^') ... if you'd like to see the messages for yourself, they are in the official two time forum, but you may need to scroll quite a bit just to view them

messages aside, here's the basic gist of the azure lorebits that were shared!!

azure was rebirthed in a field of nightshades after their death to two time, they were buried in said field and the flowers now share some of their essence after they transformed

azure doesn't completely resent two time; in fact, they miss them a lot and wants to have them back in their life. however, their current post-transformation form forces them to feel the hatred and resentment provoked by the spectre (essentially, the spectre enhanced the negativity that azure feels and makes them excessively violent in the process)

when azure transformed, vines sprouted out of their back and their head, taking the appearance of tentacles only because the fibers cause the illusion of the tentacles being made of a shiny, slick material. the tentacles are actually very sharp and thorn-like

^ adding onto this point; azure can grow nightshades from their tentacles and hair because of the vines' properties :)

before two time killed azure, azure was a very amiable individual and liked to help people. they also loved studying plants (they were very into botany) and knew how to cultivate plants into medicine for use (also a personal interpretation, but it's implied that azure was very careful when making their medicine and gave their patients the exact dose they needed, as juno mentions that azure was far more mindful and aware of their limits than two time was)

nightshades are most likely azure's favorite flowers/plants because of their medicinal properties and vibrant purple color

with all that information aside, I personally could see a (post-forsaken) two time x reader x azure where reader got sick from accidentally eating poisonous berries and two time bringing them to azure in a panic, and azure tending to them with grace and expertise ... and reader says after being treated, anticlimactically, "wow, it sure was a good thing you were one of the only botanists in the whole cult, azure!"

by the way, if it isn't taken already, may i be referred to as the azure-addict anon? i know it's a lot, so if that's too much, you can also just use the🪻emoji for me :D either one works!! i love your blog dearly, and I hope youve been doing well!! I honestly wanted to interact with you a lot sooner, but I was admittedly feeling too timid to do so... my apologies ^-^'' please take your time with requests, drink lots of water, and stay safe!! its nice to meet you :)

– azure-addict or 🪻anon

azure-addict anon im going to kiss you /p I NEEDEDDD THIS INFO CUS IDK LIKE ANYTHING ABOUT AZURE BESIDES THEIR RELATION TO THE CULT AND TWO TIME OMG,, thank u for this :] i will keep them in mind and hgehghe ,.,,, azure x reader x two time ,,,,, drools (can u tell i love throuples!!!!

ANBD OUGHGH,,,, im glad uve come out of ur shell and decided to send in something!!! do not be afraid, i dont bite!!! i always encourage anyone to talk to me, and its very exciting when new anons pop up :] thank u for ur support and the lil reminders! be careful with what u wish for cus i fear i need 2 lock in for schoolwork so reqs might take longer,, this is what i get for being a dual enrollment tryhard smh ;; it's very nice to meet you too <3

[luv-again]

What are some pet names Shadow would use for Amy? I just cannot get the scene of Wreck It Ralph out of my head where he calls her a “dynamite girl”.

firstly, oops, sorry it took a little while to get around to this ! i have such a bad habit around leaving responses in my drafts for forever and a day </3 secondly, hi, yay, i love asks ! but oh NO you've just enabled me to yap and i am SO sorry in advance for the length of this response ;-; i'll put it in a dropdown so i'm not assaulting everyone's dashes

buckle in, it's blabbing time

i'm of the firm belief that if you can convince me shadow would say [ xyz pet name ] within a certain context, then i can believe it. my bud, @sadgirlz-lovemoney, does this brilliantly in her fic, ballads for the gallows, where shadow is insistent on calling amy "troublemaker", based on the fic's proceedings and their attitudes/personalities. to me, that's the perfect way to implement terms of endearment !! you gotta set the stage before hitting the audience with it — it's all contextual and more importantly, it rides on how natural it comes off

"dynamite girl" is so fun 😭 i think i vaguely remember this scene ?? and i think shadow would absolutely call amy something within the same vein ! something pertaining to her abilities or overall nature ? i'm a sucker for shadow admiring the qualities about her that no one else will openly recognise (so much so, i wrote a whole piece on him doting on her like this. i am both guilty and biased)

as much as i have learned to accept the charming, almost honorific-like term of endearment that shadow applies by regarding to amy as 'rose' (i actually used to abhor it, but i adore it when it's applied in the right way. i love the use of her given name more - but that's a whole other thing for a WHOLE different discussion lmao), i always like to resort to referring to her differently in my pieces. out of exploration, mostly, but it never seems to be a pet name of sorts ??

when i don't write shadow referring to amy by her given name — you know what ? i'm going to be honest, i normally don't. just because all my interpretations of him so far have been either pre-relationship and/or unsettled with the idea of giving pet names at the time. BUT. if i were to, here's what i reckon :

'my love'. simple, timeless. shadow doesn't muck about and if he's comfortable with announcing to amy or anyone else that she's the subject of his adoration, that'd have to be one in his repertoire. it's boring, i know, but to me, shadow is a little boring. in an endearing way

^^ by extension, 'beloved'

going through a search of my pieces, i did in fact find one where he does apply the former pet name ! as a tease, but it still made an appearance !

— dusk, or eventide

as for an extensive list, i am so so garbage with churning my brain for further ideas, they normally crop up on a whim. but in a basic sense, those are best fit. at least to me, in good faith to my interpretation of shadow, anyway. i know others in the community have far more clever ones out there; i just rely on one failing brain cell to do all the heavy lifting for me lmao (and it does me no justice, i'm afraid)

furthermore, on the point of not using pet names too often, i come to my next (unnecessary) point of discussion : how i do represent amy through shadow's eyes

a lot of how i perceive shadow's view of amy comes down to my previous statement of admiration. he admires and respects amy for all that she can do and all that she is. i like her actions and her bearing to speak for her more than superficial things like the pigment of her fur or the colour of her eyes. and if i DO mention that (most likely the latter because i am an 'eyes are the window to the soul' believer), there's something attached, whether that be a feeling evoked by them or a deeper concept they play testament to

let me nab some extracts from some of my pieces :

— the kiss...?

— three words, three syllables

it'd take me a ton more time to pick out more features/metaphors i've used in regards to amy (especially in three words, three syllables, since that's all the piece is full of), but i can be sure to say i love — not quite the sun/moon dynamic trope — to liken amy to the sun because i think it's a beautiful way to encompass all her attributes. she is warm, but she can burn. she can glow, but she can blind. amy is unapologetic in both her love and her malice, and that's what i love about her character. so by extension, so does shadow. he wouldn't change her for anything. if you can draw a handful of pet names from that one, be my guest hehe

i think i personally prefer to remain poetic, vague, or unspoken when i write for shadow, hence the severe drought that is the pet name scene in my neck of the woods lmao

this post went off on such a wild tangent, i'm so sorry. i'm as verbose as they come once you get me started on something </3

nevertheless, thank you for the ask !! i really enjoy prompted shadamy yaps hehe

[fayewoodss]

I've been pushed to an extreme recently and I need to get this off my chest for my own sanity. I've been ignoring this for months and doing what I can to avoid it, but things have increasingly gotten worse and I'm at a breaking point.

I know there are a lot of people keeping tabs on my blog for all the wrong reasons. This has led to a lot of my posts, fandom related and not, being taken and manipulated in ways to frame me negatively and warp any and all of my genuine intentions. I've done my best to address situations brought directly to me in good faith and with sensitive context, but everything has gotten out of hand and turned into a situation that has left me paranoid, anxious, and distraught. I need it to stop, even though I know it most likely won't.

This all started with my first drawing of the Dream Team girlfailures au in November and how I drew Claire. I understand the issue people had with it and I recognize some of the counter arguments and their valid points, but I think I explained my points well and they are equally valid. I stand by my explanation and I won't be rehashing all of it. The most I'll say is that my representations of cc!Dream in fandom context and of Girlfailures!Dream/Claire as an AU character are derived of a similar foundation but the latter is a fictional entity and not the real man.

I am always open to critique and discussion, but the feedback I've received and the long standing fixation on that art piece hasn't always been good faith critique, and has much more often been harassment and degradation of me as a person. That one drawing has led to an ongoing issue with what I would consider to be stalking and harassment.

Mar, @/cuntdrolo, has made at least 50 posts about and/or involving me, in those either directly linking my blog, indirectly mocking me and my posts, and harping on topics and discussions I was an active participant in. She claims none of this is harassment and stalking, that all of it is derived from me being a "sensitive golo" and normal fandom drama, when it's not. This hasn't been about fandom drama for a long time.

The only time I've directly interacted with her was to send her this message today:

She responded and blocked me, which is what I wanted, but has continued to post about me and this entire situation (which involves other people but I won't be dragging them into my part of this).

Here is a list of every post about me since mid-November. A few links I know for certain are missing, but I was unable to find the posts and two screenshots I had from that time saying I deserved to be killed for my art were deleted long ago. You will have to take my word for that unless I find them, but I understand and respect it if you don't.

I know she won't stop. I know there are people who will agree with her and support her, seeing only one side of this all. I don't care if people like my art. I don't care if people like me. I just want to be left alone and enjoy this fandom space without feeling like every action of mine is being watched and picked apart to an audience that doesn't know me and doesn't care to know me.

I've been in fandoms my whole life. I've dealt with plenty of fandom and personal drama. I've never experienced something to this degree of obsession, stalking, and harassment. I know a lot of this may get twisted back on me, but know I've done so much to ignore this and move on, but after this week with so much more being brought to my attention. I cracked.

Do not go to her blog. Do not interact with her posts. Do not send her anons. Do not involve yourself in this beyond reading this post and understanding my current mindset.

I don't want to be involved in this anymore. Stop making posts about me and leave me alone.

Thank you.

[beef-brisket]

As the years ticked by, Lilith had no luck in finding the other two journals, but that doesn't mean she gave up.

Adam had left notes and notebooks filled with his work all over the place.

So, when she wasn't making a living running the Mystery Shack, she was studying everything she could about interdimensional travel. She wouldn't stop until she understood everything her brother wrote.

And slowly but surely, Lilith was understanding and learning. She even started repairing the portal.

Opening up a panel, she found some fried circuits. She carefully repaired them and placed the panel back.

Each thing she fixed, she tried turning it on. Nothing happened for nearly ten years. But finally, after fixing a broken wire that leads from the controls to the portal, the lights turned on.

Lilith: O-Oh my god...

Nothing happened but it was a start. A good fucking start.

She was getting closer.

It's been nearly twenty years since she lost Adam, but she knows if there's anyone that could survive Hell, it's him.

Lilith: I'm coming, Addy. I'm getting closer. I promise.

-

Adam sighed as he sat on his knees in front of Lucifer, who was laughing at something Mammon was going on about.

Their kids had long since moved out and is making their own, demonish name for themselves.

He wanted them to study science, but who was he kidding? There's jack shit in the way of science down here. So, they followed Lucifer's way of doing things.

Which was... fine.

Shifting, Adam looked down at himself. He was wearing his usual, revealing outfit, his hands bound in golden chains.

As much as he hated to say it, Lucifer was changing. He was different. Scary even.

Maybe Peter was right.

Adam sighed, thinking of his friend. He should have stopped all those years ago when he got sucked into the portal and came back screaming.

He cringed, remembering Peter's screams. It was... horrific.

Ozzie: And Adam? What do you think-?

Lucifer: Pft! Adam's a man of human sciences! He wouldn't have anything to offer this discussion-.

Adam: Well, actually, I've studied a lot about Hell while I've been down here-.

Lucifer: Pet~? Darling~? Did I give your permission to speak~?

Adam: ...No, Lucifer.

Lucifer: Good boy! Now, Ozzie, do not speak to him without asking~.

Ozzie sighed and rolled his eyes. Typical pride demon.

Falling for the Dream Demon

@adambrainrot I blame you lol I hope you like it.

-

Adam had always been brilliant, Lilith knew that her brother was going to do great things one day like find life on another planet or find the cure to cancer. She was always in awe of him when he would speak with such high intelligence that sometimes she got lost in what he was actually saying.

They were twins, bound together by blood and have always been close. She always looked out for her nerdy little brother and wouldn't let anyone hurt him.

Except, as they got older, she was the one to hurt him. Not physically, but when they were in senior year of high school together Adam was being offered scholarships left and right from schools all around the country and the one he wanted the most would take him over seas.

Lilith let her jealousy get the best of her and ruined his chances by messing with his project.

Adam, being the genius he was knew it was her.

It wrecked their relationship and he never forgave her.

Adam slammed his car door shut and stomped away to get into the driver's seat.

"Adam come on, I said I was sorry" Lilith was leaning on his car and he all but pushed her away.

Adam glared at her "I don't care about you watered down apology, Lilith, do you have any idea what your childish tomfoolery has cost me?"

She didn't understand why he had to talk like he was 80. "You still got into your second choice! That's good right?"

Adam got into his car and gripped the steering wheel, his 12 fingers nearly turning white from the amount of rage he felt. "You just don't get it and you never will." He's never held his sisters lack of intellect against her, not everyone could be a genius like him, but in this moment he couldn't believe how stupid she was.

Lilith felt her chest get tight, she didn't like this. "Addie please......"

"No, I'm going to follow my dream and no one, not even you will stop me." He's already said goodbye to their mother and father. He doesn't need to be here anymore.

Before she could say another word Adam sped off into the distance, leaving his old life behind.

-

As the years went by Adam got three PhDs and a doctorate, he wanted to major in the anomalies of the world and there seemed to be a huge influx of them in this place named Gravity Falls.

He bought a cabin in the woods to live in and work in.

That's where he met the woman that would help him with his study, Dr. Eve Gardener.

Adam decided to keep a log of journals to keep track of everything he found. He's always been different with no one understanding him.

But being a genius and having someone who's brilliant to help him can only get him so far. He's hit a dead end in where everything comes from.

"What can I do?" Adam mused to himself as he tapped the pen on his journal. So far him and Eve have only found gnomes that talk and throw up rainbows.

He decided to go to the library to find anything that might help him. That's when he came across a book on demons.

Dream demons.

-

Adam had everything set up, maybe he was desperate and wanted to make things work so badly and obtain materials for his research.

Adam took a deep breath, "No turning back now." He spoke the spell that made the pentagram on the floor glow a bright red. From the glow stood a man in a white suit and top hat, short in height but that didn't matter. His face shrouded in mystery from the shadow of the brim of his hat concealing his face. When he looked up his eyes were red and yellow glowing brightly.

"Well hello there.~" The demon spoke smoothly, his voice deep. "And who might you be?"

Adam couldn't believe this actually worked. "My name is Dr. Adam Kadmon, I...... Who are you?"

"The name is Lucifer Morningstar! At your service handsome! Now, I assume you've brought me here for a reason?" Lucifer grinned and tipped his hat to Adam, winking.

Oh, so the demon is a flirt. Wonderful. Adam felt his smoldering gaze on him, it was intense and he..... Weirdly didn't hate it.

"I'm doing research about Gravity Falls and..... I've come to a bit of a stand still." Adam set the book down never taking his eyes off the demon.

Lucifer smiled so wide, showing off all of his pearly white sharp teeth. "Oh of course! I can help you with anything, whatever your heart desires I can give it to you Adam. You want to be rich, have great power, or even unlock the secrets of the universe I can give it to you! But, you have to give me something in return."

"Oh?"

"Yes! You can't get something for nothing you know.~" Lucifer practically purred, he leaned on his cain as he looked the human up and down.

Adam shifted on his feet, if this demon was telling the truth then anything would be worth it. "What would you want?"

Lucifer hummed, "All I ask, is that you let me into your mind, body, and soul.~"

"My s-soul?" That..... Sounds like a huge deal.

"Yes! How else am I going to be able to supply you with everything you need and secure everything you've ever wanted?~ I'm not asking you to give it to me, not completely. What do you say? We have a deal?~"

Lucifer held out his hand, it was gloves in leather and erupted in a red flame.

Everything Adam ever wanted was being given to him on a silver platter and even though he shouldn't he wanted it more. It could be years before he makes a breakthrough and he didn't want to waste his time chasing his tail.

Adam gripped Lucifer's hand, surprised that it didn't hurt when the flame surrounded his as well. He yelped when Lucifer pulled him in and dipped him.

Lucifer was smiling but it was far from innocent. "All demon deals are sealed with a kiss.~" He captured Adam's lips in a kiss, the scientist felt like his face was a flame and his heart started to pound in his chest.

He liked it, but why?

-

Lucifer kept his word and helped Adam discover all the secrets and knowledge that he was promised.

Adam recorded everything in his journal and it got to be to the point where he ended up with three of them he learned so much.

-

"You didn't forget your end of the deal did you Adam?"

"Of course not Luci."

Those nights that they had grown closer and had partaken in sins of the flesh. He let Lucifer ravish his mind and body anyway he wanted.

He never wanted to let his demon go.

-

Lucifer wants him to build a portal, he didn't see a problem with it. Surely Eve will love to help him.

-

"Eve!?" Adam cried out, he had secured himself to the floor with rope. Eve didn't get the chance as the portal turned on and nearly sucked her in, her foot caught on rope.

She screamed at everything she saw on the other side. Adam pulled her back and turned it off.

Eve was shaking and talking backwards? "Eve?" He reached out for her and she screamed.

"You have to destroy that thing! It's not safe!"

"What!? But it's my life work!"

Eve looked behind Adam and saw Lucifer standing there and her blood ran cold. She couldn't do this anymore!! "I'm sorry Adam! I-I-I can't do this!" She got up and ran out, Adam called for her but his pleas fell on deaf ears.

-

Lilith made the journey to Adam's cabin in the snow. She had to see her brother. Knowing on the door Adam answered shocked to see his sister of all people. "Why are you here?"

"..... Mom died."

That got her in the door to stay for the night, Adam cried for the loss of their mom. But that didn't mean everything was smooth sailing between them.

But still, he showed her his work.

In the basement she marveled at the portal. "What's the big red button do?"

Adam's eyes went wide, "Lilith don't!"

But she hit the button, ever curious. The portal turned on and it sucked Adam inside.

"ADAM!!!"

The portal malfunctioned and black smoke came from it turning it off nearly exploding it. Lilith stared in disbelief, what the fuck had she just done?

-

Adam looked around panicked, he had never been in here before and he didn't know if he could leave.

A gloved hand gripped his chin and Lucifer smiled at him. "Welcome home darling.~"

[sixtynineinchnails]

i'm not going to say that dan and phil almost kissing in front of paper cutouts of gerard way and patrick stump is for phandom what poorly edited one-sided love confession superhell was for destiel. however...

[stardust-moth]

In order to fully understand why it was so hard for Mike to express how deeply he loves El, and why his speech at the end of season 4 was one of the biggest, most important moments for his entire character, we need to look at not just who Mike is as a person, but also everything that has happened since he met her.

Every single time he opens up his heart to her, something horrible happens to her or she's taken away from him almost immediately afterwards.

1x08; he's an awkward little ball of feelings that are way too big for a boy so young. He makes a nervous attempt at confessing and asking her out on a date; when he can't find words that she'll understand, swoops in for a kiss instead. She lights up immediately and smiles. It's a brief moment of hope and pure happiness. Maybe they can have some semblance of a normal life and be normal kids after this is all over.

Minutes later, all hell breaks loose-- they're almost shot, El pushes herself too far until she can barely move, she's almost taken away by the Bad Men, the Demogorgon appears, and she uses the very last of her strength to sacrifice herself to save him and their friends.

He has to watch helplessly as she disappears.

He spends a year caught between believing she's dead and hoping she's still out there somewhere (but if she is alive then why won't she talk to him anymore...?). Kept silent under threat by the lab, he can't confide in anyone or even acknowledge her existence, not with anyone except those involved... but everyone else is keen on moving on and pretending it never happened. He can find some solidarity in Will, at least, who is in a similar kind of emotional turmoil... but it's not the same and it's not enough.

2x9; he is finally reunited with El, and she runs into his arms like she missed him too. She tells him that all those nights he called out to her, she heard him; she was there reciprocating his feelings the whole time.

In a burst of emotions that he's been forced to suppress for an entire year, he lashes out at the reason they've been kept apart (Hopper), screaming and sobbing. It's a massive catharsis for him, and for once an adult is understanding enough to hold him and not punish him for it.

Minutes later, she is going to go headfirst into a pit of monsters, the place where Mike had just firsthand witnessed dozens of people (if not more) get ripped to shreds only hours earlier, and she is going to attempt to close the Gate-- a feat that he knows may take every ounce of her power, just like last time. He cries. He can't lose her again. She promises he won't, and before she can seal that promise with a kiss, they're pulled apart again.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

3x1; all seems to be okay now. He and El are happily together, and he feels comfortable enough to be playful, romantic, and intimate with her. It's the most emotionally open we've ever seen Mike thus far.

For reasons he can't understand (bc there's no way Hopper explained himself beyond "I'm in charge so do as I say or else"), Hopper is angry about it and threatens to never allow him to see her again: the one thing he fears most.

He panics big time and fucks it up in the process by lying to her. During a frantic attempt to apologize while also abiding by Hopper's rules, he runs into her at the mall. He panics again-- if anyone finds her here, and knows that he was here too, it's all over, and Hopper surely won't hear reason. El dumps him cold on the spot, spurred on by Max and her rebellious attitude (and without any context of course). He isn't given much opportunity to respond. He knows he's in the wrong for lying to her, so what could he even say...?

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

It's a hard blow, and he retreats back into himself, unable to get any joy out of playing D&D (which he clearly hasn't lost interest in), back to the deadpan sarcasm and accidentally snapping a little too harshly at anyone whom he feels would take El's place.

3x6; no one seems to understand the danger El is putting herself in. Everyone is berating him for worrying about her safety. He's seen firsthand what these monsters do to people, he's seen firsthand how El pushes her abilities too far. No one is listening.

The words "I love her and I can't lose her again" burst out in his desperation, perhaps before he's even had a chance to realize how deep those feelings run, despite whatever protective walls he's tried to build around his heart to keep it from getting broken again.

Soon after, all hell breaks loose. El is nearly killed several times over, her leg is ripped open, she pushes herself so hard that she breaks herself and loses her powers completely. Her father is taken from her. She's shattered by all of this, and there's absolutely nothing he could do or say to make it better.

She tells him that when he admitted he loves her, she heard him, and indeed she loves him, too... But now she's leaving.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x1; they've been apart for a few months, and write letters back and forth to each other. El's letters paint a picture of an ideal new life: she and the Byers family are doing well; she's starting school and it's going well; she's made new friends, she likes her new home, everything is going well. She seems to be thriving. She sounds happy, maybe even happier than she had been living in Hawkins. Maybe Max was right, maybe she's better off being her own person without him, and maybe the respectful thing to do is step back... It's a small insecurity that creeps up subconsciously. In his replies he holds back, afraid of clinging too hard.

Though there's little logic in it, he's afraid that if he tells her he loves her again, another disaster might strike and this lovely happy life she's finally found might get taken from her. After all, that's what always seems to happen when he does.

4x2; after months of waiting, they can finally see each other again. He wears her favorite colors, picks a handful of flowers for her, and falls happily back into step with how they used to be. Soon that same day, however, reality becomes clear and the facade crumbles. People he was told were her friends show up to torment and publicly humiliate her. She had been lying. She isn't happy here, she hasn't healed, she is right at the edge of a breaking point that he doesn't see coming at all. He can't believe she would lie to him, she's not the kind of person to lie... especially not about something like bullying, something that she was always so understanding about with him.

On that logicless subconscious level, he wonders if it's all his fault-- he should have known somehow, he should have been there for her. She protected him from his bullies, he should have protected her from hers. He tries to come to her rescue. She runs away from him.

He's helpless to save her, again.

4x3; after a night to process everything that happened-- and deciding that the betrayal he feels from her lying to him is nothing compared to the turmoil she must be going through right now-- Mike approaches her in the gentlest way possible, wanting to listen and trying to understand. El, however, isn't receptive at all to his attempts at reassurance. She is at an all-time low, she's given up. She believes she is unlovable, irredeemable, a monster, just a thing that doesn't even have those superhuman abilities to compensate anymore. Mike can't believe what he's hearing-- doesn't she know that she's always been so much more than her powers? She's always been so much more than what she lacks in quote-unquote "normalcy"... None of those things matter, they have absolutely no bearing on whether she's worthy of being loved, because he loves her, completely regardless of any of these things. He always has...

El starts flinging his restrained words back at him, the products of his insecurity and trauma-induced fear. That fear takes hold yet again, and he stumbles, afraid of saying too much or not enough, because surely both could result in pushing her away-- she's retreating, hearing none of it; nothing he tries to say consoles her.

Moments later, local police come knocking. She's taken away in cuffs, and she's so broken inside that she won't even look at him when he chases the police car down the street and promises he'll get her out somehow...

Once again, he has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x8/4x9; after days of driving through the heat and dryness of southwest desert, having narrowly escaped being shot at with military-grade assault rifles, witnessing the death of and burying a man whose last words were that El is in danger... After watching dozens of people get mowed down by a sniper in a helicopter, and watching that same helicopter be smashed into the ground in a ball of flames...

There she is. Just as powerful and beautiful and alive as she's ever been. When he runs to her and embraces her, she looks at him like she can't believe he's real. She's beaming a smile right from her soul and it's like all the insecurity and self-doubt that have plagued them both just vanish from existence now that they're in each other's arms again.

Like always, however, the universe comes crashing down soon after. Max is marked for a gruesome death and all of Hawkins is in danger. They're miles away and helpless, and the only possible way for El to save everyone is if she goes in alone. She's stronger than ever, but so is her foe. Once again, she descends to face all the demons of hell on her own, and Mike can't do anything.

She's losing. She's choking. She's dying. He's helpless.

He must be cursed. He must be. Being with her, loving her, allowing himself to admit he loves her, it always brings only pain and suffering and loss. His heart is so full that it's aching, it's bursting out of his chest, and he can't contain it any longer.

She's going to die and it's going to be all his fault, because he fell in love, and it's cursed her.

Just before it all crumbles into utter despair, the earnest support from his oldest and dearest friend-- one who's always shared and understood his feelings of helplessness-- sparks a light of hope in him: "You're the Heart." You're not helpless. You can save her.

The words that come spilling out of Mike's mouth are truer than any he's ever dared to speak before, and it's the most terrified he's ever been, but he has enough courage for this moment. Despite all of the fears that have been building, stifling, choking him to death for years-- fears that the light of his life will inevitably disappear again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it-- despite it all, he pours out his heart to her.

He loves her. He's always loved her. He loves everything she ever was, is, and could be. He can't imagine a world without her in it. She saved him, in every way a person can be saved. And he needs her to live. He believes in her.

And it works. It's music to her ears.