#i'm GOING to love darn it all i'm GOING to pour love in

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

THE 141 RESPONDING TO READER'S CRAVINGS (pregnant or not) SUSPICIOUSLY BUT STILL GETTING THEM WHAT THEY WANT cuz they love them 😭😭

Hehe, absolutely! I did this one just as pregnant readers cravings if that's okay! I've heard of some really interesting ones to say the least🤣

141's + König's Reactions To Pregnant Readers Cravings

Warnings: mentions of gagging, urge to throw up

Simon Ghost Riley-

Simon awoke to an empty bed, groaning as he stretched his arms out to find your side of the bed cold. He rubbed at his eyes and stretched before swinging his legs off the side of the bed.

His brows furrowed slightly as he could smell the aroma of tomato sauce in the air. It was 8 am, what were you up to downstairs?

He made his way down to the kitchen and found you singing along your favorite song, cooking away at the stove.

"...babe?" He asked, approaching you slowly. "What, uh, what are you making?"

"Have you ever seen the movie ELF? With Will Farrell? That scene where he makes the spaghetti? It just sounded really good." You turned to him with a wide smile, as you giggled maniacally.

Simon swallowed thickly, slightly terrified at what was unfolding in front of him. He'd be lying, though, if he said he didn't find the sight of you adorable. You had a raging bedhead, your makeup still slightly smudged from yesterday, and were draped in one of his shirts, which practically dwarved you despite your growing belly.

He watched as you struggled with the pasta and chuckled slightly before making his way over to you, placing his hands on your waist as he kissed your forehead. "Need help?"

"Yes! Oh, that'd be great. The sauce is almost done. Can you get the syrup and the candy from the pantry?" You turned to him with a smile, and there was no way in hell Simon could ever say no to you.

He did as he was asked and felt his insides churn slightly as he watched you throw all of the ingredients together on the plate.

"Darn bottle won't open!" You huffed in frustration, prompting Simon to come to the rescue. "Thanks, Si. Once it's opened, can you pour it all over the pasta?"

"You want...syrup all over the pasta?" He suddenly realized you were being quite serious about the reference to the Christmas movie. "I uh.. okay."

He felt bile rise in his throat as he poured the syrup all over the pasta and tomato sauce, and it took everything in him not to puke as he watched you scarf it down. "It's SO good, Simon!"

"Sweetheart, I love you, but that looks dreadful." He chuckled, patting you on the head. "I'll go to the store and buy some TUMS, lord knows you'll need it later."

He gave a kiss to your head before grabbing his keys, stopping when you called out to him, waiving a small piece of paper. "Wait! I have a list. Can you get me these?"

"God, you're lucky I love you." He rolled his eyes playfully as he pressed a kiss to your lips. "Oh blood hell, that tastes horrid."

He grabbed the piece of paper and had to bite back a laugh as he looked at what was on the list. "Hot sauce? Ice cream? Tuna? Do I want to know?"

"Probably best not to ask."

John Price-

"Babe, I was going to order us some dinner, what did you want?" Your husband, John, called from the other room.

"I'm actually okay! Order for yourself. Found my new favorite snack." You shouted back, digging into the food in front of you.

Confused, given that you never turned down the chance to order food, John made his way into the kitchen, and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you.

You were perched on the counter, 5 months pregnant, and in your lap was a carton of ice cream, with a jar of pickles right next to you. He watched as you scooped at the ice cream with one of the pickles in your hand.

John had to practice wicked self-restraint, as he tried desperately to not puke. "Love. Are you eating pickles... and ice cream?"

You nodded your head vigorously before biting off a chunk of pickle and spooning ice cream into your mouth seconds after. Your eyes fluttered shut as you let out a content sigh.

"Who knew! That pickles and ice cream would be SUCH a good combination?" You exclaimed, a wide smile on your face. "You should try it!"

"Oh. No, that's all you love. Wouldn't want to take it from you." He replied, trying to be polite. Though he found the idea utterly repulsive, he didn't want to make you feel bad about what you were craving.

John watched on, horrified, as you downed nearly the entire carton of ice cream and at least a half dozen pickles. How you weren't getting sick from it, he'd never know.

"Do you know if we have peanut butter?" You asked, turning to your husband with a hopeful gaze.

John blinked a few times before realizing you were talking to him. "Oh, yeah. Let me uh, grab it for you."

He reached in the cabinet next to you and slid you the jar of peanut butter. You grabbed at it and methodically dipped the pickle you were holding into the peanut butter. This time, Price couldn't hide the look of disgust on his face.

"Oh my God, this is incredible. I don't know why I didn't try this before!"

"I can think of quite a few reasons why a perfectly sane person wouldn't try it." He chuckled, and quickly dodged as you threw the spoon at him.

"Hey, Mister! You know better than to rile up a person when they are pregnant! It's not good for the baby!" You said playfully, as you flicked pickle juice at your husband. "Anyways, go ahead and order whatever you want!"

"Oh, sweetheart, my appetite is long gone."

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

"Hey, when you're out... could you possibly get pickles... and jelly?" You approached your husband shyly as you twirled your hair between your fingers. You'd had this craving for weeks, and it was getting to the point where you could no longer ignore it.

Johnny stiffled a laugh before offering a mock salute. "No idea what you'll do with those, but sure thing. I'll be back soon."

~

You met Johnny at the door when he returned, and were quick to grab the bag from his hands and sprint to the kitchen. You tore through the bag to grab the jar of pickles, and the jelly, and made quick work of spending the jelly all across the pickle.

"So, you going to make a peanut butter and jelly sandy? I didn't know if we had bread so I bought it... I bought..." Johnny's words trailed off as his eyes landed on you, practically inhaling the jelly covered pickle.

You turned to him with a sheepish gaze as you swallowed the remainder of your concoction. "What?"

"You just...ate pickles and jelly?" He asked, his brows raising.

"Look, it sounds gross, but I promise you, it tastes amazing. Try it!" You held up the second jellied pickle to him with a proud smile.

Johnny shook his head, chuckling and against his better judgment, grabbed the pickle from you, and took a bite.

"Not.. Not terrible." He said, coughing slightly. "Have you heard of dipping chips in honey though? Heard that's a weird craving but am tempted to try it if you're down, we've got the ingredients for it."

From that moment on, Johnny helped you with any pregnancy craving you had, and even encouraged some of them. He'd find various combinations on social media and would try them along with you.

The two of you even made it a game to see who could come up with the tastiest, weirdest combination. Surprisingly, Johnny won nearly every time.

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

"Hey, babeeee?" You called out to your husband, Kyle, who was cooking breakfast in the kitchen.

"Yeah love, what's up?" Kyle asked, looking over his shoulder as he flipped the bacon.

"Could you possibly put a glob of Nutella on the side with my plate of bacon?" You bit your lip nervously, unsure of how Kyle would react to the unusual request.

"Sure, but what did you need it for? I don't have any toast made."

"I uh...dipping the bacon in it sounded rather good, so I wanted to try it."

"Well that's a new one, don't think I've heard that one before." Kyle chuckled.

He finished up cooking and put together a small plate of bacon and Nutella for you. He stared at it for a moment, wondering how you possibly could've come up with this concoction. To say he was curious of how it would taste, was an understatement.

He walked over to you with a smile and handed you the plate, laughing softly as you did a small happy dance. "One plate of bacon and Nutella for my love."

"Oh, it smells heavenly, thanks, Ky!" You dug right into the food, groaning loudly as it tasted even better than you thought it would. "Kyle, you have to take a bite. I know it looks gross, but it's so good."

Kyle couldn't help himself. The giant smile on your face had you looking adorable, and he'd do anything to make you happy. He walked over and took one of the slices of bacon before dipping it in the Nutella.

"Holy shit. This is so delicious, babe." His eyes lit up as the flavor exploded on his tongue. He grabbed another slice of bacon and used it to scoop up a large bit of the hazelnut spread.

You giggled as you moved the plate to the middle of the table, and gestured to the seat next to you.

Needless to say, the two of you spent the better part of that morning eating Nutella and bacon, not that either of you were complaining.

König-

"Maus, what's all this in the cart?" König asked as he watched you throw yet another thing into your overflowing shopping cart.

"Oh! I'm just super hungry. I had a few things I wanted to try out." You gave him an elated glance before barreling down another aisle to grab another ingredient.

König chuckled to himself before looking down at the array of ingredients in the cart. You had everything from hot sauce to ice cream to oranges. He swallowed thickly as he remembered reading something in one of the pregnancy books he bought about the weird cravings those who were pregnant got.

You both made it home about an hour later, and he watched as you bolted inside, with one of the bags tucked firmly in your arms. He followed behind you and nearly gagged when he watched you grab the bottle of hot sauce and the jar of peanut butter. Surely... you weren't going to..

"Kö, can you get me a spoon?" You asked sweetly as you opened the ingredients in front of you.

König stood there for a moment, unable to process what was happening before he shook himself. He walked over slowly, grabbing a spoon from the drawer and handing it to you hesitantly. He watched as you snatched it from his hands, got a spoonful of peanut butter, and drizzled a decent bit of hot sauce on top.

You put the spoonful in your mouth and licked the entire spoon clean, moaning as you absorbed the taste. You put the spoon back in the peanut butter, before repeating the process with the hot sauce. "This is just what I needed."

"It...it tastes good?" König asked, bewildered. In his life, he'd seen people eat some pretty weird shit, but this easily took the cake.

"Oh gosh, it so does. Try it?" You asked, beaming as you turned to him. He gulped audibly as he approached you, taking the outstretched spoon.

You watched him with a hopeful gaze, as he took a tiny bit of the concoction on the spoon. He did his best to keep a straight face as he processed the taste and was trying not to gag as he desperately did not want to hurt your feelings.

He cleared his throat a few times before darting over to the fridge to grab a drink. He grabbed the first beverage he could find and downed it. "Maus.."

You gave a small giggle as you watched your husband's struggles. "Not a fan?"

"Oh, no, it was.. it was good. I'm just very thirsty." He gasped out as he finished the last of his drink. "Perhaps, I could make you a better snack though? I don't know how filling this will be for you."

"What kind of snack did you have in mind?"

König gave a hearty chuckle. "Well considering we bought half the store today, I'm sure I could come up with something."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[brotherwtf]

Gale has partial memory loss and forgets everything about the war and even Bucky. Now he's just 19 year old stuck in a grown man's body. How will Bucky handle this and explain their relationship? What will he do when Gale asks for Marge?

oof now this one is gonna hurt

----

John woke that day like it was any other day, Gale in his arms with the sun pouring in through their curtains, refracted through the painted glass onto their faces. Gale has his arms wrapped under his chin, pouting his lips and looking so darn peaceful that John wishes he could keep that peace forever.

He shifts until he's on his elbow, draping his arm around Gale's waist and pushing a strand of Gale's hair off of his forehead, smiling at the way the sun bounces off of the golden locks.

Gale's eyes flutter open and John smiles at him, expecting the sleepy smile and tighter embrace that usually comes with mornings.

Instead, Gale launches from the bed, fear in his eyes and breaths coming in disturbed pants as he falls back against the hardwood floor. His eyes flicker across the bedroom and at John, a look of confusion and fear evident in his eyes. John follows him, reaching his arms out towards Gale to bring him closer and hold him, half expects it to be a nightmare.

"Don't come any closer!" Gale shouts, putting his arms out in front of him to block John from approaching him further.

John cocks his head and screws up his eyebrows.

"Gale, what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare? Come on, doll, let me help," John pleads.

Gale shuffles back against the wall and retreats into himself, bringing his knees into his stomach and cowering with fear.

"Who are you? How do you know my name?" Gale whispers, voice quivering.

It feels like a punch in John's stomach and he falls to his knees in front of Gale. He can't be serious, he can't actually mean that.

"It's me, Gale. John, Bucky, come on Gale, you know who I am," John says, voice cracking shamefully and he hates it.

Gale shakes his head.

"I don't know you... where am I? Who are you?" Gale says, voice creeping into a shout and John moves to stand on shaky legs.

He's heard about this through whispers, of men forgetting the entire war when they're back home, some sort of trauma response to all of the horrors they had seen. Their brain had purposefully dumped the memories, blocked them out so they wouldn't be traumatized by it. Men forgetting entire friendships and hardships they went through, coming back as if the war had never happened.

But that couldn't be happening to Gale. Did he forget the entire war? Did he forget about John?

John scrubs a hand down his face, biting back tears that are threatening to fall as he watches Gale's chest heave. If he had forgotten the war, he would have forgotten about their love.

"Gale, I don't know how much you remember, but I'm John Egan, you know, partner in crime during the war, attached at the hip?" John says, trying to grin but finding he doesn't have the strength to smile.

This makes Gale even more confused and he loosens his grip around his knees.

"The war? But you look too young to have fought in that, my father fought in that war," Gale mutters and John swears.

He had forgotten all of it. Gale didn't even know there was a second war, didn't even know he fought in it himself. John looks down at the floors and sighs wetly.

"Let's go, um, let's go get you something to eat. I'll explain as much as I can," John says, feels like he's choking as Gale picks himself up from the floor.

He walks towards the door to their bedroom, but turns back to John with a confused look again.

"Where is the kitchen?" He asks.

John feels his heart clench and he points him down the hall, tells him he's going to be down there in a second.

When Gale walks down the hallway he allows himself to break into tears in their bedroom. He sobs into his hands. Gale had forgotten him, forgotten all of the tender love confessions hushed under army sheets and into each other's shoulders. Forgotten all of the quiet reassurances in the Stalag, cold hands clenched tight together under thin blankets. He had forgotten the way they held each other when the war had ended, like they never wanted to let each other go.

It's ripping John apart at the seams, taking him and wringing him out until he's nothing. Gale is safe, but at the cost of forgetting every good thing about the war.

He wipes away the tears streaming down his face and schools his expression, taking a couple of breaths before venturing down to the kitchen. Gale sits at the table, fingers fidgeting with a loose thread on the tablecloths he had picked out and looking around the kitchen.

"This is a lovely house, Mr. Egan," Gale says and John almost feels the urge to cry again.

"Call me John, please Gale," He tries not to beg.

Gale turns towards him and smiles, ever so politely like John had invited him into his house for some afternoon tea.

"You said you knew me? During the war?" Gale asks, eyes drifting towards a picture on the mantelpiece.

"We fought together in the 100th bomb group, both pilots of big ass B-17's, trained together and everything," John manages to choke.

It's one of the only pictures they have together during the war, a gritty black and white image of John with a flashy smile on his lips and Gale with one of the brightest smiles John had ever seen. John remembers Crosby had snapped a picture when he saw the majors smiling together after the war, said it reminded him of when they were in flight school. Even now, John can see the love oozing from each of their expressions.

Gale gets up from the table and picks up the picture, studying it with a confused expression. John's heart clenches as he turns and looks from the picture to John, eyebrows furrowed.

"Seems like we liked each other a lot," Gale mutters.

John almost scoffs, but smiles gently at Gale instead. "Liked" only scratched the surface of the emotion they felt for each other.

"We didn't just like each other, Gale. We loved each other. That's why we live together," John says carefully.

Gale's expression screws up again and he puts the picture back on the mantel, flexing his hands on his sleep shorts.

"What do you mean by love? Where's Marjorie?" Gale asks and it's another punch to Johns gut.

He had forgotten that Gale would only have remembered anything before the war, which meant he would have only remembered dating Marge. But Marge was in another state, married to another man, and John was the only person he knew here. At least, who he knew before today.

"We loved each other like you loved Marge, you broke things off with her during the war when we started fooling around. She's married, Gale," John whispers and can see the flash of pain across Gale's face.

Gale slumps back into the kitchen chair and rests his hands awkwardly on the table, hand returning to the frayed edge of the placemat and fiddling with it.

"So I'm a queer?" Gale whispers and John nods with his lips pursed into a thin line.

He hates the way that Gale says the word, hushed and quiet like it's too damning to be true or be spoken into existence. John almost wishes he spat out the word cruelly, maybe it would hurt less.

"Yeah," John whispers and Gale looks back down at the floor.

Gale reaches a tentative hand across the table and puts it on top of John's, turning it over and running his thumb across the callused grooves. He links his fingers, testing it out and sighing again.

"You've got nice hands, I understand why I looked at you like I did in the picture," He mutters, nodding toward the mantel.

John feels tears well up again as he clutches Gale's hands, wishing Gale would rub his thumb across his knuckles like he used to. He wants to reach down and kiss the back of Gale's hand, but knows it will shock him too much in this state.

"Will you help me remember?" Gale asks after some time of staring at their entwined hands together.

John smiles with a small laugh and walks over to his side of the table. He kneels down in front of Gale, holding both of Gale's hands in his as he looks up at him.

"Of course, doll, I'll go to the ends of the earth to help you remember, I'll do anything for you," John whispers and Gale smiles down at him.

John knows he might be jarred by the sweet words, but Gale doesn't seem to mind. His smile is the same as during the war when John had confessed his love, and John almost weeps.

"You're awfully sweet, John. It's no wonder why I fell in love with you in the first place," Gale mutters and John laughs, feeling the slightest reassurance that his Gale might come back to him.

I couldn't help but think about the old couple from the notebook while I was writing this, just so desperately wanting to get his love back 🥹🥹

[derangedanomaly]

As a celebration to New Year, I decided to mush this thing up in a matter of...few minutes?? Don't know how long this took me.

I'm still working on your requests, but I thought I'd get a break and do this for a change! I can't thank you enough for your support! I love writing, and seeing you guys liking my stories is very heartwarming, thank you!

Enjoy this silly story :)

NEW YEAR's KISS

UNDERTALE AU's x Reader

"GUYS! IT'S GONNA BE NEW YEAR SOON!" You kicked open the door, going towards everyone in the, exclusively large, living room. "Wow, I can't believe it's 2024 already." Ink exclaimed, taking a sip of his drink. "Yeah! Y/n, come on, let's get some drinks!" Swap flashed you his famous smile as you went towards him.

You hosted a big party for the New Year, and everyone arrived! There was Dream, Ink, Swap, Sans, Fell, Killer, Horror, Dust, Cross, Error, Fresh, Dance, Epic, Science, Berry, Reaper, even NIGHTMARE came. And that's saying a lot.

You really don't know how you all can fit inside your living room, but it's better to not question it...

As you and Swap went to retrieve drinks, Fell and the others were cooking up a plan of their own...

Fell went in the middle of the room. "ALRIGHT YOU LOSERS, TONIGHT..I. FELL WILL KISS Y/N!" There's a long silence until everyone started yelling

"WHAT?!" "No way! You won't!" "Not on my watch!" "SHUT UP!" And so on, until Classic shut everyone's mouths.

"EVERYONE! EVERYONE! Calm down." Everyone very soon became silent. No one wanted to go against Classic, seeing as he's the original Sans...

"There's no need for us to make such a ruckus... Y/n invited us all because of their great personality..." Classic spoke once more, until Killer interrupted. "Yeah.. I know what, 'Personality' you mean.." Science looks at Killer's blushing face, and immediately swats him. "HEY!" "Don't talk like that about them." He sternly told him, before focusing his attention at Classic, yet again.

"-And I'm just saying, they probably don't expect to be kissing anyone." There's a long silence as everyone shamefully looks at the floor. "The only one they'll be kissing is me." Classic finishes his speech, making the others argue. Again.

"And what makes you think they'll kiss you??" Ink pointed at Classic. "Yeah. Maybe... they'll go for a more mysterious skeleton." Dust spoke next, making the others turn to him with a questionable look. Berry erupted into laughter. "MWAHAHAHA! YOU?! Nah, with yo emo ass.. they would rather much like someone like me!" Nightmare scoffed. "Yeah. Right." Berry looked at Nightmare, offended. "Like you're any better." Nightmare suddenly smirked. "Yeah. I have tentacles.." his cheeks gained color, as he blushed deep turquoise. They all just looked at him confused, until it hit them. "Ew, gross! Why would anyone be into that?" Killer made a yuck noise. "Stop kink shaming." Reaper gave him a smirk, as Killer grimaced.

The boys fell silent when they saw you and Swap enter the room with smiling faces. "Hey guys! We're finally back, everyone grab a drink and pour yourself some! It's gonna start soon~!" They all did what they were told.

Epic went up to you with a blushy face. "H-Hey...ahem. Hey brah! I wanted to ask-" he didn't finished his sentence as he was pushed away by Error. "Go away! Hey Y-Y/n.." you only blinked. "Yeah?" ... Silence. There was nothing, he was about to speak, but was kicked away by Cross. "That's for my best friend! And...uhh..hi Y/n! Enjoying yourself?" You nodded. "Yeah! I'm glad to be spending New Year's with my friends!" He suddenly froze, which Dream got a good advantage of. "Y/n!-" Not even a few words in and he was pushed aside by Science. "Y/n! Iwannaaskifyouwanna-" you cut him off, not understanding a word he's saying. "Sci, sci...calm down. Or you might get a stroke. Heh.." you pat his head walking away. "...." "Gosh darn it..." He swore, looking down.

You gasped, seeing the screen. "This is it guys! 10....9..." You all counted as the numbers kept going down. The others couldn't help but feel disappointed. None of them could mange to ask for a kiss.... "5...4...3..." It was disappointing, really.. "3...2...1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" You all shouted.

You suddenly sprinted towards Swap and Horror. They all watched curiously. What could you possibly want from them? They all stared with shock as you kissed Swap, and then Horror. Leaving red marks on their skulls, from your lipstick. (A/N: REMEMBER! ANYONE CAN WEAR LIPSTICK! LIPSTICK DOESN'T HAVE GENDER)

They both have a very dizzy expressions on their faces, as you grinned, then went towards the couch.

Turns out, that Horror actually disappeared while everyone was arguing. He went to help you and Swap out, since that conversation was boring him. There, he witnessed Swap asking you that sacred question, then he decided to also ask.

This was a very tragic New Year for them all. Except Swap and Horror. ;)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! :D

[klikandtuna]

2024 FIC ROUNDUP

Oooookay I barely know what I’m doing here but I’ll give it a shot. 😁

What fandoms do you write in?

It’s allllll Good Omens. After S2 broke my brain, I started sending tiny snippets of fic ideas to a couple of friends, which over the course of a few months really snowballed beyond any pretense of control. I’m gone, y’all. This is my life now.

How many words have you published in 2024?

WELL this number is about to jump with the posting of Find Every Sky next week, but at this moment I’m sitting at

✨758,377✨

Which is pretty cool! To be fair, a good chunk of that was written before I had joined AO3 (it took those couple of friends about six months to convince me to join up), so it wasn’t all written this year, though certainly most of it was.

What is your greatest achievement this year?

Aside from actually joining the fandom at all, this award definitely goes to the TWENTY-TWO CONSECUTIVE WEEKS, May-October, in which I posted TWO CHAPTERS PER WEEK without missing a single update. Find the Light and Sky Clear Blue were written back-to-back without any break inbetween, and while the schedule for SCB got a little dicey for a while, my beta-reader and I managed to keep that Tuesday/Friday ride going allllll the way to the end. Pretty proud of that.

What are your top three favorite fics you wrote this year?

This is so unfair because they’re all my babies 😭😭 I pour so much of myself into everything I write that I really hate choosing favorites, buuuuut I’ll try.

When You Go (101k Reverse Omens, complete but there’s a sequel coming, rated E)

My human AUs receive by far the most attention (and I’m not complaining!), but I want to give some love to my Reverse-Omens fic because I’m pretty darn proud of it. Each chapter bounces back and forth between an ongoing present-day storyline and anecdotes from their past, and it was my first attempt at switching tenses for effect (which I really got the hang of in Sky Clear Blue, haha). I feel like I really nailed the characterizations here, and it was a joy to a) flesh out the Starmaker as the Seraph Baraqiel and let him be his full glorious self, and b) experiment with what the Fall might do to someone as sweet as Aziraphale; while I did give him the demon name Azazel, I did NOT make him a goat demon because frankly that’s all wrong for him. I went a different direction and it’s FRIGGIN COOL, Y’ALL ☺️

Sky Clear Blue (289k human AU, complete, rated E)

Obviously 💛 Time travel, coming out, the beautiful transformative power of love. My biggest piece to date, started as a tiny seed and germinated into something really beautiful. Also at some point I started illustrating every chapter which was a real game-changer, and makes me feel a weird obligation to KEEP DOING THAT for all of my fics.

Naked and Afraid: Jingle Hell (24k human AU, complete, rated T but only for, like, mildly suggestive themes)

Okay my new favorite thing EVER is to take an extremely silly premise and make you FEEL THINGS 🥰 "Aziraphale and Crowley are participants on Naked and Afraid" is not a thing I would have expected to be received with joy and tears, but here we are, and I'm very very happy with how this one turned out.

What was your biggest Pit of Despair moment?

...That's awfully dramatic, but I guess when the SCB posting schedule was really catching up to me and writing was more of a HAVE TO thing instead of a just-for-fun thing. But that didn't last long, and it never got to the point where I wasn't enjoying myself. Writing is a real passion of mine and I'm having the time of my life with these fics.

What have you learned?

Honestly...I've learned that I can do this. I really can. I can take an idea, just the tiniest glimmer of silver in the aether, and follow it and draw it out and spin it into something magnificent. I can write things that make people Feel (including myself!). When I reach, the story is there, and I can trust that I'll find it as I go along.

I've also learned that a good beta-reader is worth their weight in gold, rubies, mithril, any incredibly valuable thing, and that it's okay to open myself up to criticism, and that accepting suggestions from someone smart and articulate and caring makes my writing soooo much better.

What fic did you want to do, but never made it off the ground?

The Naked and Afraid piece would have been my answer here, except I found a way to make it happen 😁 I have a bunch of half-formed, nebulous ideas floating around, but really I've just been going for the stories that I want to tell. I guess we could count the When You Go sequel here, haha. As soon as I've had some time to absorb and process Season 3, the sequel is ON

Did you beta any fics? Any faves you want to give shout out?

I kiiiiinda did one soft beta-type-thing just last week, but that was my very first time! I'm usually soooo busy with my own projects that I barely have time to read anything anyone else writes, much less offer thoughtful feedback. Maybe one day...

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

See just above — I don't have the tiiiiiiime. I did read For Loving One by @thescholarlystrumpet and it was gorgeous (she even embedded a piece of fan art I did in one of the chapters, which was very exciting for me), and I read Love, Uh, Finds a Way by @heretic1103 which was a delight, annnnnd oh! oh! I stumbled upon Lay Thee Sinner, 'Neath the Cross and Pole by @thenerdalert and have been enjoying the updates!

What ideas are percolating for next year?

Okay NOW I'm excited, because as I mentioned above, I've got a brand-spankin'-new BIG multichapter human AU on the waaaaay and the first chapter is going to drop on December 31! The title is In His Hand a Burning Coal and it has officially consumed my entire heart. Can't WAIT to start sharing this one. It's tapped into some deeeeep, lifelong reservoirs of love and nerdy passion for me, and I think that comes through in the writing.

ALSO, in late February we're going to do something REALLY FUN. What do y'all think about a Choose Your Own Adventure FANFIC?? Like, I post a poll with options for the next chapter, you vote, and I write in the direction of the winning option? I'm super excited to give this a try. I do dearly love a good prompt, and if we can get a bunch of people in on the voting action I think it'll be an absolute blast. Soft and sweet? Hysterical crack? Enemies-to-lovers or a tooth-rotting meet-cute? ALL OF THE ABOVE??? YOU choose! 😃

Is there anyone you'd like to thank?

First and foremost, always, I thank @suzypfonne. A random comment on one of my fics has become a friendship I treasure dearly. She's smart, she's funny, she's deeply kind and caring and generous, and she's the best friggin' beta-reader I could imagine. She has made me a better writer, and I'm always excited to turn over a doc to her. 💛💛

Huge thanks as well to @sparklyshinymagpie, who messaged me out of the blue one day to say "hey I could help code the social-media stuff in your fic, if that's something you'd be interested in." HOLY SHIT YES. She has put a huge amount of time and work into making my stories so much prettier, and our next project will be compiling the PDFs for my big stories so I can finally make print copies available for purchase! She is VERY talented and patient and I APPRECIATE HER VERY MUCH

I'm also tremendously grateful to @e-rated-beardo for the unspeakably gorgeous gift that is this incredible recording of the titular song from Sky Clear Blue. One of the lovliest gifts I've EVER been given!

And a final thank-you to @lolalu16 for her tireless cheerleading. They sometimes get early access to chapters, just because I like them 😁

OKAY this was fun but also took forever, haha. I'd love to read others' posts on this subject, so feel free to go for it!

[muneca-lemon-steppa]

Interviews for New Beginnings: Part 3

Alfie Solomons x Fem!Reader

Words: 4,990, Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Sexism, Arguing, Man trying to get with reader.

A/N: AAAHHHH PART 3?!!? Guys this is so much fun for me and I'm so glad you guys are having fun too. Is it weird that I feel like we are doing this together? Also guys just to warn you... we are getting a little angsty,,, a little violent... So if you are not into it, comment and I will give you the general plot of this chapter if it become too much! Anyway please enjoy, love you guys so much! And if I forgot to add you to the taglist I am so sorry! Just lemme know and I'll amend it! And if you need to see the other parts, click the tag with the title of the series, and it should have all the parts together! Ok I’m done!

The home of Alfie Solomons was the quintessential diorama of an old man's bachelor pad. Despite the anxious and angsty attempts by his elderly maid Sarah, the home still carried the air of a man who not only preferred to be left alone, but also had no plans of adding anyone into his inner sanctum. There was paper and documents strewn about, half read books piled by his favorite chair, a hosting bar cart that was looking more ancient than him, and a massive dog making his home on the floor in front of the roaring fire. Alfie silently thanked Sarah for her efforts. Sarah was the best housekeeper he could have ever asked for, she was essentially silent, and did not scold him for the ever present animal pen he kept. Then only things she asked for was to be paid on time, for her Sabbath to be uninterrupted, and to be warned ahead of time if there was to be company. Luckily, he never had to concern her with the last item.

With a grunt he landed on his favorite chair, studying the unused love seat and the matching chair to his that sat across from him. It was a set that was meant to host, that was meant to have visitors and entertain. He had no idea why he bought them, they looked exactly as they did when he bought them three years ago. Untouched. And yet he couldn't help but imagine you sitting so prettily on the chair beside him. With every inhale he could smell the lingering scent of you on his jacket lapel. Clean, like plain soap and fresh air. A kiss of lavender oil that washed over him as you flipped your hair out of your face. He could see so clearly you laughing at his jokes, pouring out tea for you and him, rubbing Cyrils face and giggling at Alfie's gruffness. He could see you darning a small sock...

With a groan Alfie rubbed the visions out of his eyes like a dream. Because that's what it was isn't it? A stupid stupid dream. You were so... fresh and sweet and... frustrating and loud and obnoxious and such a know it all and... beautiful and kind and smart and...

Alfie huffed and got up to beg for sleep in his room, but his head on the pillow only ran through these reveries even more. You were much to young. 10 years his junior at least. You were pure and kind, and he was a bad man. It was an unequal yoke to carry. He had killed people in the war and at home. He had manipulated and schemed to get this. And you deserved more. You deserved a good man, a softer man. Someone who lived a quiet life and could give you a life above board, where you never had to look over your shoulder. Someone who was gentle and wouldn't argue with you, would just treat you like the Queen of Sheba. That is what you deserved. Not some old gangster with a bad back and dozens of men plotting his demise. With a sigh he resolved his promise. He would take care of you as long as you let him. Protect you from all the mess and nonsense of this job, and let you be the girl you are. And when it was time to let you go... he'd let you go. He could protect you and honor you ask long as you'd let him, but when the right man came along, he’d let you leave, knowing that you were safe. And with a sigh he rolled over, letting himself sleep for a few hours, his mind slipping off into a world where you maybe chose him, and made that other chair your favorite.

Across Camden you had just finished explaining to your mother that your very kind boss had just brought you home after a late night in the office. You had to assure her that you were safe and that he was very respectable, that no danger was present. Though the constant worrying and fussing irritated you sometimes, she was a good woman, a good mother, who just wanted the best for her oldest child.

Your mother and father got married incredibly young, and were forced to become acquainted with the world and it’s imbalances even earlier. Where you still got to be young and childless and educated, your mother at your age had already had you, and was working in the family tailors shop full time. The day you realized your mother could scarcely write her name, you heard your mother sobbing to your father late in the evening. It was then that you resolved to do your best in everything, making sure your mothers sacrifices weren’t in vain. And if it took a little white lie to keep her from having a heart attack? Well… it would be worth it.

“Ah I just don’t know darling, that seems awfully forward don’t you think? I don’t even remember your father being alone with me ever until our wedding night? Are we sure he is a good man? Do you have anything with you in your purse darling?”

“Mama I promise you everything is fine. I think his insistence in NOT letting me walk home is evidence enough yes?”

Your mother fiddled with the end of her long braid, a habit indicating her anxiety, a motion you know well, “Mmm I suppose… but darling I just worry. Young women now… very very independent and it is good but… oh I just don’t want you to be taken advantage of darling. Will you take a weapon or something with you?”

You laughed, and maybe you shouldn’t laugh at your own mother. But… oh it is your mother!!! The sweet woman that she was! Who refused to go to sleep without a candle, and forbid your father from cleaning his gun around her, and dropped many a plate due to loud noises… what does she know about a weapon!! “Mama what weapon?! Shall I bring a hand gun to work? Mama none of us know how to use a gun, except Papa and Eli! I’m ok I promise! My boss is not a dangerous man!”

From her place in the kitchen cabinet you heard her speak, “Oh hush! Of course not a gun!! You are absolutely ridiculous. No just take this pocket knife ok? Oh please don’t look so disturbed! It is in good condition and your father got it for me when he would have to work late at the tailors! Will just put it in your work bag please? For your poor mother? If you love me you’ll do it!”

With a laugh and a kiss on her soft cheek you affirmed her, “Of course mama, I could never refuse your gifts. Now now mama don’t be cross i am not teasing! Just promise me you don’t worry about me anymore! I am a grown woman and I am very capable of taking care of things. I learned from the best yeah?”

You mother nodded and kissed your cheek back, patting your head, “Yes yes. Well thank you my love. Now I’m off to bed, and you should too. Sleep well my darling.”

As you prepared for bed you felt a heaviness in the pit of your stomach. What would your mother say when she found out you had been lying to her? What if she did find out? What if she sees you with Alfie in the street? No no it wasn’t possible. Your mother hadn’t left this side of Camden in a decade, and she hates going farther than two blocks. No no it’s fine. You’re fine. And technically, it wasn’t a complete lie! No Alfie was honorable! And he was sweet! And he was handsome… and kind…. and smart… and rugged… if he weren’t a gangster you would’ve probably been matched with him… to be his wife.. No no! No what a childish fantasy. Those are the thoughts of a love struck child. He was your boss and that was it! So what if he was handsome? You were his secretary and that was it! And if he somehow decided to… promote you… you allowed a giggle to leave your chest as you blew out the lamp next to you. Tomorrow is another day.

Soon you developed a routine with Alfie, and the next few months seemed to fly like a wonderful dream. During the week you woke up, making yourself and Alfie lunch for day. The walk to the bakery was typically a lovely and brisk one, with the rising sun being your partner.

Upon arriving at the office, you make quick work of saying hello to the regular faces, and sneaking a sweet treat to Ollie. You set the kettle on, making sure a nice hot cup is ready for you and Alfie upon his arrival. A healthy amount of milk and sugar for you. Almost no milk for Alfie, but extra sugar. Then the daily schedule needs to be attended to. After working with Alfie for a few months you’ve developed a system of who gets what treatment. Some names get tea and a pleasant seat. Some get very bitter tea and must stand the entire time while they wait. Some get absolutely nothing, and are made to stand with their back to Alfie’s door, wondering how they will be summoned. Shot or call. During the meetings you take copious notes. Partially to make sure you don’t miss anything that Alfie will need to call upon later, partially to make visitors nervous about what is being recorded. You had become quite the necessary tool for Alfie. You added a certain glamour and class to the office. A sort of authority in the way you walked that continued to make weak men sweat in the office. Alfie’s favorite part of these meetings was having you re-read what was said, noticing that you added a certain something to keep the pressure on the other party. You were proving yourself an absolute natural.

It was during a day like this when Alfie came back from a ‘social visit’ with a big smile on his face, “Shalom treacle!! Get your coat darling we’re going out!”

You looked up from the calendar you were organizing, “Shalom Alfie, what do you mean we are going out? You have an appointment at 2, and you need to look at the numbers from last week and-“

“Hush woman, fuck the meeting I said we are going out.”

He grabbed your long coat from the hook, and held it open for you to put it on, “Now my love we have very special things today. You remember the gaming club Tommy mentioned? Well he found a place right? And today we are going to look at it and get a price for it.”

As you put your arms through the sleeves, and grabbed your scarf from Alfie you can’t help but question, “But what does this have to do with me? Why do you want me there?”

Alfie then finished his dressing of you by handing you your bag and offering you his arm, “What does this have to do with you? What does this have to do with you? Have I heard that right? Well my dear you put the fear of the devil himself into men like no other. Make them piss themselves. No no don’t laugh treacle it’s true! I need you to strike fear in the hearts of these sinners and help me find the holes. Think you can do it darling?”

The way he smiled at you… it made you want to do anything and everything for him. You smiled and nodded, “Let’s get on with it then.”

Alfie smiled even greater at the small smirk that played on your beautiful lips. He loved it when you worked with him like this. You walked arm and arm, laughing and carrying on like mischievous children ready to prank their teacher. You arrive at the possible location still laughing when you meet Thomas Shelby, and two other men, who you can only assume are the other Shelby brothers that you’ve heard so much about. Your eyes meet with Tommy’s, and you feel your stomach drop at the wink he gives you before walking toward you and Alfie. “Alfie, glad you could make it, “ he stoops down to grab your hand and kiss it, “Good to see you again darling. Let me introduce you to my brothers.”

You’re introduced to both Arthur and John. Your eyes soften at both their faces. John’s eyes show a soft mirth, a sweetness of a young man who still has so much to learn, much like Eli. Arthur… just looking at him your heart is heavy. You don’t know anything about him but his eyes look sad, and there is a weight to his shoulders that make you already feel quite sorry for him.

It takes about three flights of stairs to reach the top floor of the building. It's musty, clearly has not been used for some time, there are cobwebs and piles of dust over every counter, and the once white cloths covering the tables are now a dingy gray. Your wide eyes look up and around the space, clutching your notepad and pen to your chest, "What did this place used to be?"

Tommy answered, "It was once a bar, a little club run by some young idiot who thought he knew his way around this business. Couldn't make it past a year. Now.... it's been sitting vacant. Waiting for us."

You stray from Alfie's side, making notes of everything that would need to be done, "What all is included in the sale?"

"Everything. Tables, counters, fixtures, chairs. All for a reasonable price if you ask me."

"Mmmm Alfie will be the judge of that I think. Alfie, the wall paper will need to be redone yes? I think a richer color on the walls."

Alfie looked at Tommy and smiled, "Yes you're quite right treacle. A wine red yeah? Something indicative of the debauchery of such a hell hole."

"Mmm yes. Tommy, John, Arthur... how stable is this bar counter? How much would it cost to replace it?"

And so went the rest of the afternoon. You milling around the space making notes and sketches, and supplementing with the comments of the men in the room, who may or may not have been following you like ducklings. John and Arthur pulled curtains to let light in, and frankly John was more than willing to do what it took to gain a pleased smile from you. Once adequate notes had been taken, everyone sat around a table, waiting for the agent to come by and agree to a price.

During this part of the meeting, you tended to hold your tongue, only responding to when Alfie asked you to ‘refresh’ his memory on a particular point. It was these parts of the meetings that you could really see Alfie work his magic. Tommy Shelby and Alfie Solomons couldn’t be more different. Where Tommy was smooth and steady in tone, Alfie was a hurricane. A bear of a man who ripped things to shreds. Though on the surface it looked as though Alfie was merely destroying and rebuilding on a whim, there was a method. Study his opponent, memorize the motions and responses to his moves, and utilize it against them. Use previous information to flip and return on his enemy. It was a studied craft. Something you knew that had worked on for a long time. It was an art piece, and with every wink he threw your way, it was clear it was not just an act, but a piece of him. He was a gangster, through and through.

Soon enough, a deal was reached, and a plan was set in place for renovations to start the very next day. And in accordance with their 50/50 split, equal men of Shelby’s and Solomons’ men would be taking part in the work. All the men shook hands, you nodded and smiled at the Shelbys, quick to rebuff Tommy’s offer to take your hand again. Alfie seemed to be in a particularly good mood, and as you walked out of the building, he looked at you and said, “Oi... you hungry?"

You stopped and peered up in his eyes that were partially obscured by the wide brim of his hat, "Mr. Solomons are you asking me to dinner?"

He rolled his eyes, "Oh goodness... see this is why you can never be nice right? Because there you go... being cheeky with me... can never be a yes or no with you yeah? It's always got to be something with you innit? I mean - "

"Alfie Alfie! Yes I am hungry! Now take me to dinner and buy me a drink yeah?" You laughed at his blustering and grabbed his arm, making him meet your eyes, he huffed in response but couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"Buy you a drink yeah buy you a drink! Buy you a hobby so you stop harassing old men. I mean don't you have anything better to do than just be mean to your old boss?"

You laughed as you both walked away down the street, "What do you mean a hobby? My whole life now is just doing your bidding isn't it? And someone must keep you humble, all that business makes your head explode."

You let Alfie lead you to a clandestine pub a few blocks away, shrouded by family businesses and laughing people. As soon as Alfie walked in, the wait staff scurried around, clearing a table in the corner for both you and Alfie. Soon enough you had been given food and drink, and you felt increasingly more relaxed in your seat, facing away from the door opposite of Alfie. You allowed yourself to day dream in the comfortable silence you occupied. It didn't feel like dinner with your boss. It felt like dinner with a friend. Dinner with more than a friend. You imagined about what it would be like with Alfie all the time. To spend the afternoon with him walking through town, enjoying the sun and the conversation. To be taken to dinner with him, meet with friends and repeating faces. To be taken back home with him... sit in front of his fire... to fall asleep with him...

"Hello... treacle??" You're knocked out of your reverie with Alfie's bejeweled fingers waving in front of your face.

"Oh my gosh Alfie I'm so sorry! Yes whats wrong?"

Alfie laughed heartily head thrown back, "Goodness darling your mind must've been in fucking Timbuktu! I was asking if you wanted another drink?"

You felt the heat flush to your ears and cheeks and chuckled in your embarassment, "Oh my goodness I'm so embarrassed. No no I'm fine Alfie thank you. You go, I'll keep our table."

Alfie nodded and went to the bar to grab another glass of Rum. You proceeded to look around the cozy pub when a man slid into Alfie's seat. "Well hello beautiful. Mind if I sit here?"

Your eyes rushed to him. Young. Could be handsome if he cared to bathe and wash the stink of liquor off of him and change his shirt. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was sweaty. Stupid. Clearly so. "I'm sorry but you must be mistaking me for someone else. I'm here with my boss and you are sitting in his seat."

He sneered and winked at you, "Oh I saw the old man alright. Solomons yeah, I know him. I'm not too worried about the old man darling. Why don't you come sit with me yeah? I promise I am much more pleasant company."

The irritation was brewing in your stomach, but in truth you didn't want to cause a scene, "If you know Mr. Solomons then you either have a death wish or you are stupid. Please leave and get away from me. Mr. Solomons will not be happy to see you in his seat."

"You calling me stupid?"

"I am. You are clearly an imbecile, and a drunk one at that, now if you excuse me."

You proceeded to get up to find Alfie, when the man stood up and grabbed your arm, "You dumb bitch, how dare you get up. I'm trying to be nice to you!"

The table fell over with a clatter, and you began to scream, "Get off of me!!"

Before you could say another word Alfie came through wretching the man's hand off your arm, squeezing the man's neck."Now you listen to me right? You apologize to the young lady right now."

The young man's face began to slowly turn red, but he managed to splutter out, "Or what? You're gonna hit me with your cane?"

Alfie only seemed to squeeze tighter, and you saw something in Alfie's eyes that you've never seen before. It scared you. "No... no no... this is what's going to happen. If you don't apologize to the sweet young lady here. I will kill you. If you do apologize, I will not kill you. Now I think... I think that is a pretty generous offer yeah? And little man... I think you know who I am. And I think you know that killing little vermin like you doesn't bother me the least bit yeah? So what will it be? Quickly now!"

Without Alfie letting go, the slowly purpling face gasped out, "I'm sorry. I'm so... sorry ma'am."

You nodded back, feeling bile rise in your throat. Alfie dropped the man unceremoniously on the floor with a crack of the table. Without looking away from the gasping man he yelled to seemingly no one and everyone, "OUT!"

Every patron but you and the owner scrambled out with out a second thought. The bar owner locked the door and went to the back, and you felt your pulse quicken ringing in your ears. The sick in your stomach swirling. Alfie circled the still gasping man, who had bruises blooming on his throat, "Now... who taught you to grab women like that eh? Who said that was ok?"

The man didn't respond, and in anger Alfie kicked him right in the ribs. You screamed behind your hands as you heard the sickening thud and crack. Alfie grabbed the man by the collar and shoved him against the wall, 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU THINK YOU CAN GRAB MY SECRETARY! YOU CAN GRAB MY GUEST?"

The young man began to sob, begging, and saying he was sorry. Alfie only continued, "Oh you crying now yeah? I thought you said you knew about me and weren't scared. That's why you thought you could harass my sweet secretary yeah? Well let me get you better acquainted."

With that, you saw the Mad Baker of Camden for the first time. Beating and beating and beating the man in front of you. Blood coating the knuckles of Alfie, as the young man's face proceeded to take the most brutal beating of it's life. You tried to stay quiet but it became too much, "ALFIE ENOUGH! It's enough Alfie!"

He paused, fist mid air as the man quivered underneath him. Alfie turned to you, "Enough? It's enough?? This man touched you without your permission and this is enough?!"

"You're going to kill him Alfie! Please enough!"

"I determine when it's enough!"

And he went back to punching him, growing more and more wrathful. And it became too much when the groans stopped, but the punches didn't. All you could do was scream at Alfie and weep. When Alfie finally finished and was heaving, you shoved a napkin in Alfie's hand and left without a word.

You began walking down the street, the tears streaming down your face. You didn't want anyone to see you crying, and the slowly setting sun aided. It was going to be an hour walk home. Your feet will hurt by the end of the night. But you didn't care. You needed the walk. You needed the air. You needed the scent of blood out of your nose and the sight of Alfie out of your mind. You had walked for who knows how long when you heard Alfie's voice yelling over the sound of a car, "Get in the car NOW!"

You looked over your shoulder, Alfie was yelling your name out the window of the car, with Ollie driving. You turned your head back and kept walking forward. You kept hearing Alfie curse, yelling your name, "Stop being a child and get in. DO AS I SAY NOW!"

"OR WHAT? YOU'LL BEAT ME WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE??"

You tried to keep walking, but in a dangerous move the car sped and swerved in front of you, blocking your walk. You gasped as Alfie got out of the car, with a red stained, jeweled finger in your face, "Listen to me... you stop this act. You get in the car right now. You can be angry at me all you want but listen to me... you do not walk home alone. You work for me, you don't walk alone at night. Now. Get. In. The. Fucking. Car."

Tears were still streaming down your face, and you were so so angry with him, but you didn't have a choice. And your feet were hurting. With a huff you walk in the car, not letting him hold the door open for you. You sat in your seat, nodding at a very embarrassed looking Ollie. As soon as Alfie sat next to you, you stared out the window, looking at all the apartments whose occupants were definitely not listening in to your argument. You sat in silence for a few moments, but you couldn't hold it in any longer, "That was too far Alfie."

"I decide what is too far."

"You could have killed him."

"And the world would be better for it."

"You cannot treat people like that Alfie. He was just a child."

"A child who definitely would have hurt another woman in the future, he needed to learn a lesson."

You turned to him then, "Oh and that's how people are taught then yeah? Beating them to a bloody pulp any time they make you upset?"

He leaned in to your face, getting dangerously quiet, "This is my life darling. This is what you signed up for."

You scoffed, "I did not sign up to be a witness to you being a beast! This is not a way to live! This is heinous! You don't have a right to treat people this way!"

You didn't realize your volume, or the way your heart was racing. You were heaving, tears streaming down your face. His eyes... fixated on you. There was rage but you knew it wasn't at you, "I have every right darling. This is the life that has been given to me. Everything that I have, everything that I can give to you, Ollie, and the rest of the men in that distillery, is because of what I do. This world that we live in darling? You think that's fair? Nah... that ain't fair. If you want anything in this life... you need to take it. Grab it with both hands and never let go and never let anyone else take it. This is the way this world works beloved. This. This is what you signed up for. Now either grow up... or don't come back to the office."

You breath stopped. You didn't even consider that option. You felt more tears fall as you turn to face the window again. The rest of the car ride was in agonizing silence. You hated every minute. Alfie made no noise except a huff. After an infinity, you finally reached your home before you could move Alfie put his hand out, "Don't get up yet."

He grumbled as he got out of the car, looked around at both ends of the street, and then went to your door, opening it and helping you out. You refused to meet his eyes but you took his hand. You also let him walk you to the door, and as you reached for the door, you hear him cough and say, "I want you back at the office treacle alright? Course I do. But you really need to decide whether you can handle this. I hate seeing you upset I do darling. But this is who I am. This is the business. Now you need to decide if you can do it. Alright?"

You nodded your head limply. He just patted your head, feeling sick in his stomach, "Alright then. I'll know your answer if I don't see you tomorrow. Good night sweet heart."

"Goodnight Alfie." You whispered, turning your back quickly to run upstairs. Alfie would drive home in complete silence that night, agonizing about what would happen.

You ran past your whole family gathered around mending the laundry in the sitting room. You refused to tell you mother what happened, and didn't let Eli in your room. When your younger sister asked you what was wrong, you just cried in her chubby baby arms, while she patted your head with her child palms. You cried in your pillow, reliving the vision you saw, wondering what to do. You didn't want to see that kind of violence, you had never seen anything like that. But you loved this job. You loved your freedom. You loved spending time in the office, laughing with Alfie and meeting new people. You tossed and turned all night, but sleep would not take you. It was well past midnight when you finally felt the exhaustion of the day creep its' fingers over your eyes.

And then you smelled the smoke.

Tag List: @jokersqueenofchaos @hoodeddreams13 @satur9-saturnalia

[ninja-muse]

Does anyone want a gender-swapped far-future Indian retelling of Aladdin with a subplot involving robot kaiju battles? How about a sci-fi novel full of anticolonial resistance and borderline unlikable characters that is also action-packed and funny? A book that moves from "sure, that might as well happen" to "oh, that got real" over the course of a page, and you both can and cannot trust the narrator?

That said, this is a good book but not a great one. For all the detail that Basu's poured into this, everything from street bazaars to tech terms used out of their present contexts to stoic superpowered space heroes to the incorporation of robots and AIs, the world of Shantiport still never felt real, and there was a little bit more "sure, why not" than I personally like in a plot. It also took a while for me to warm up to "Aladdin" and feel like I understood her, and some minor characters felt one-dimensional or archetypal. But a lot of that comes from the narrative POV, which is necessary to the story and so cool, and the rest comes from anime, Bollywood, and other pop culture tropes and Basu's intent to make this feel cinematic, which is all fair. This isn't a novel so concerned with a finely drawn world that it disregards set pieces and writes out all daring rooftop chases and improbable coincidences.

In short, this is a book that is both intensely smart but is also written to entertain. It was delightful to see all the Aladdin moments in this future context, and even better to see Basu using the story to talk about individual rights, corruption, colonization, oppression, resistance, and reclamation.* The set pieces were great, don't get me wrong. I loved the heck out of the world and how he conveyed it. I loved the narrator even more. (I'm going to call Basu masterful just for what he did with them.) I loved never quite knowing what to expect, either from Basu or the characters, and how what felt like extraneous moments or subplots got tied back in. The villain and the jinn were both fantastic. It's chewy in the way of sci-fi with a point. It made me laugh.

So yes, while it's not a perfect book, it's still pretty darn good and worth the read. It would have been a highlight of my reading month even if August hadn't been as lukewarm as it was, and I'll be watching for whatever Basu puts out next. Well worth the 10 months it spent on my TBR….

*Would it have been nice to see more of that rather than being told? Sure, but I'm not sure how Basu could have worked that in without breaking something more central to the book.

[winniemaywebber]

Honeysuckle Rose • Part 3

featuring @ginabaker1666 's oc Valencia <3

part 1 part 2 masterlist

olive's playlist

taglist: @sagesolsticewrites @ginabaker1666 @hephaestn @manonsmanicmind @bobparkhurst @bloodynereid

Kneeling down to greet the dog, Olive lets out a giggle as he sniffs at her face. “Was it you I heard?” she murmurs, hoping the man in front of her doesn't hear. The dog looks back at her with, somehow, a knowing look in his shiny eyes. “How did you bring me here?” 

Olive begins to stand, making a nod towards Benny. “He likes you,” he says, now himself bending down to pet the dog. “That was fast.” 

“That wolf likes everyone,” a blonde man pipes up from near the airplane door. “So long as they smell good or have food, he's their friend.”

“Hey, Gale, don't tell her that,” Benny replies through gritted teeth. Gale realizes in a second what he means. 

“Oh–oh I mean, well….yeah, I guess he's taken a shine to her quicker than he did with most of us.” With that, he clambers into the plane, his cheeks a little flushed from Benny's sudden confrontation. Olive giggles at the exchange, stood there awkwardly.

“Well, I'd better go,” he says, letting go of Meatball's leash. “Go to Kenny, boy,” he softly commands as he gestures across the airfield to a young man, his curls under a woolen hat, much too hot for a day like today. The dog bounds off in the opposite direction, Benny shaking his head and smiling. “Ah, guess he wants to see his girl Tattie instead,” he pauses for a moment, his eyes coming back to you. “It was nice to meet ya, Olive.”

“Yeah, you too,” she smiles demurely, beginning to walk away. 

“Will you be around later?” He shouts over the noise. “I'd love to take you for a drink when I'm back.”

“Oh, sure,” she replies, her face turning a little red. “I'd like that.”

“Okay. Great. See ya.” 

Olive turns away and begins to show panic on her face. “What the fuck is going on?” She asks herself under her breath. “How on earth did I get here?” She begins to breathe in and out slowly, butterflies rising up in her stomach as she recounts the way Benny looked at her. ‘Not my usual type,’ she thinks, struggling to find a sense of direction. ‘But still, cute.’

Finding herself somehow still following the dog - if he led her there, she thinks, maybe he has a good idea of where to take her now - she comes across him barking loudly at a dark haired woman who can't quite seem to wrangle him and tend to her work. She stands at medium height in a blue fitted jumpsuit that is perfectly tailored in all the right places, the color of it bringing out the chocolate brown of her eyes. As Olive takes her in, Meatball begins wrapping himself about her legs, the leash basically tying her up. 

“No, no! Darn dog, why don't you ever listen. Meatball, stop. Stop!” she yells, obviously exasperated. 

“Hey, hey,” Olive says, trying to bring the excited dog to a stop. “Stop wrapping yourself around this nice lady, huh?” Olive gently begins unraveling the leash from the woman's legs, the woman looking down at her gratefully. “There we go,” she says, fussing with the dog's ears as he pants in her face. 

“Gee, thanks,” the woman begins with a sigh. “I can never seem to control him. Only Benny seems to know how. You must be some sort of dog whisperer.”

“No, ma'am,” Olive responds, laughing. “He just seems to have taken a shine to me.”

“You can say that again,” she grins, her red lips smooth and shiny. “I'm Tattie. What's your name?”

“Olive. Olive Lewis,” she says for the second time that day. Tattie turns her head to the side slightly, looking her up and down. 

“Don't suppose you want a job for the day? I'm a girl down. Helen is sick in bed with God knows what and I can't take care of this dog and make sure these boys are placated when they get back. Wanna help out?”

“I'd love to,” Olive responds keenly. “What do I need to do?”

“Can ya pour coffee?”

“Sure can, with a pretty smile too,” Olive says, remembering her hellish shifts as a barista between acting jobs in London's busiest coffee shop.

“Well, then. There we go. Come on, I'll show you around.”

“Here's our little Clubmobile. The boys usually come here before making their way over to the hardstand. They can grab coffee and donuts here. They've probably already eaten breakfast, but it's a little bit of home, isn't it? Lord knows these fellas need some normalcy in all this.” Olive nods, understanding. When living in London, Olive loved nothing more than recreating Pearl’s steak pie, eating it while watching her favorite soap opera. A little bit of home. 

Tattie then gestures over to the other woman in the truck. The brown haired, green eyed beautifully made up girl nods politely at Olive as Tattie introduces them, Olive seeing a little scowl as she does so.

“Valencia can take it from here. I'll be back.”

Valencia walks up to Olive, her red lips pursed a little. She reaches a hand out in greeting and shakes Olive's, who is a little taken aback. 

“Tattie introduces me as Valencia, but please call me Val.” 

“Alright, Val,” Olive replies, winking. The scowl seems to melt away instantly, her pretty face softening.

“My gosh, you're English,” she giggles. “You may be the first  American Red Cross girl from England. Boy, aren't we special!”

“Only for today, apparently. Let's not celebrate it quite yet, Val.”

“No, you'll be back. I'll make sure of it.” She nudges Olive playfully. “I like you already.”

—

“So, you can see we’re not exactly rushed off our feet here when the boys go up,” Val says, sat on a chair with her legs up on a table, fiddling with her perfectly manicured nails. “I sometimes help Chick with some secretarial work to pass the time. Typing records, that kind of thing.”

Right on cue, a man comes bursting through the door of the hut, making Val jump. “Talk of the devil,” she murmurs, standing up quickly. “Jesus, Chick. Almost jumped outta my skin.”

“Then you best start being on your guard a little more. Less relaxed. We're at war!” he laughs. “Be a doll and grab me a coffee?”

“I'll get it,” Olive says, her eyes darting between the two nervously. Chick's eyes seem to narrow when he hears an accent that is not American, his head jerking back a little in surprise. “How do you like it?”

“Cream and sugar, please, Miss, uh–”

“Lewis. Olive.” She departs the hut, making her way into the truck to see Meatball finally resting, his head on Tattie’s legs as she reads the newspaper. 

“Who's that for?”

“Val told me his name was Chick?”

“Oh, shit,” she says, putting the paper on the counter. 

“Hey, don't worry,” Olive says, pouring the coffee into a paper mug. “I volunteered.”

“It's not that I'm worried about,” she says as she sees Chick walks slowly up to the door of the Clubmobile. “Watch the dog.” 

Olive places the cup of coffee on the serving hatch of the truck, eavesdropping on the conversation between Chick and Tattie. 

“What in God's name is an English girl doing here?”

“I'm a girl down, Chicky–”

“Ms Tattie, you know I hate that nickname–”

“And I need an extra pair of hands while Helen is sick in bed.”

“You wouldn't need that if Demarco ever tried training that damn dog of his.”

“Chicky, come on,” she pleads. “Let me keep her on. She's delightful, already great with Meatball - can you believe he listened to her the first time she asked? - and she gets on so well with Valencia already. Please, Chick. Just this once.”

“Fine,” he relents, his Southern drawl really coming through on the exasperated word. He collects the coffee from where Olive set it and takes a sip, his face a picture of surprise. 

“For a Brit, you make a damn good cup of Joe, girl.” Tattie looks at Olive through the hatch and winks knowingly, Olive winking back and giggling.

—

“Come for a drink with us, Ol,” Val asks. “You can meet my guy…and maybe one of your own.” Before Olive can answer, Tattie throws a knowing look over to Val. “She already has, Valencia. Fell at Demarco's feet this morning from what I heard.” Olive's face suddenly turns a light shade of red, giggling under the gaze of the two girls. 

“Oooohh!” Val says, poking at Olive. “That was fast.”

“What can I say? Some Brits do work quickly when it comes to romance.” 

“I get it. He's cute!”

“Oh, absolutely. Just not my usual type.”

“Who is?” Val asks, a twinkle in her eye. 

—

Surveying her as they're about to enter the hut, Val looks her up and down. “You okay if I dress you up a bit? You can borrow one of my dresses. We're about the same size, Ol. Just until you get a uniform tomorrow.”

“Sure, I'd love that. I probably look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards.” Opening the door quietly so as not to wake Helen, Val begins to tiptoe in until she sees the lights are on. 

“Oh, hey, girl! This is Olive. She came to the rescue while you were sick today. Seemed to appear from thin air, Tat said.”

“Hi,” the pale, dark haired girl says with a hoarse voice. “I'm Helen. Nice to meet you.”

“You, too. Feeling any better?” 

“Sure am. Nurse Tattie's orders to stay in bed despite my insistence actually helped. I'll be back out there with you both tomorrow.” 

“You are staying, right?” Val questions, already pawing at the scarf Olive had tied on her head this morning.

“If you'll have me,” she smiles. “I'm sort of in between things right now. I'd love to be with you both, if that's okay with you.”

“Uh, of course, girl!” Val replies, nudging her playfully. “Welcome to our little family. Now, let's get you dressed up.”

—

Val dabs at Olive's face a final time and sighs contentedly. “There, all done. Take a look.” 

Olive opens her eyes and gasps softly, a totally different person looking back at her in the mirror. It's exactly how she's always wanted to look: soft pin curls that had been twisted perfectly by Val's deft fingers, the subtle pink blush, brushed gently on her cheekbones, the flawless eyeliner upon her eyelids. The dress Val had picked, a soft blue shade that brought out the light brown of her hair and her hazel eyes fit perfectly, just as she had thought. Val smiles gently at Olive's reaction, reaching down one last time with a lipstick brush in her hand. 

“This is my favorite shade,” she grins, those red lips standing out underneath her green eyes. “Let me try it on you.”

At the final smudge, Olive looks at her reflection once again, and grimaces. “Eugghh,” she scowls. “Val, I think this shade only looks good on certain people. And by certain people, I mean you.”

“And Everett,” she says wistfully, her eyes twinkling as she dips a wash cloth in a bowl of water and begins to wipe at Olive's mouth. The two girls make eye contact and giggle, knowing exactly what she means. “Let's try this one,” she says, once again digging around her makeup box. She holds a more pink-red shade up to Olive's face and nods, dabbing at the stick with a new brush. “There, much better.”

—

“Helen, are you sure you're not coming?” Olive asks as her and Val stand up to leave. 

“No, dolls. I'm almost at the end of this dang flu though, so I'll see you tomorrow? Olive, I'll make sure your bunk is ready for tomorrow night.”

“Did anyone change the sheet since Curt was in here with Nurse Itchy?”

“Eugh, no! I'm glad you reminded me. I don't want Olive sleeping in that.”

“Nurse Itchy?” Olive squeals, slightly confused but giggling nevertheless. 

“Nurse Itchy,” Helen nods, sniffling slightly as she laughs along. “She'd been getting everyone, uh, sick, which I think goes against some sort of code. Anyway–”

“Anyway,” Val interrupts, overlapping Helen. “I was fixing Curt's shirt - you may meet him tonight, he's been my best friend since we were sandbox kids - and he came by to pick it up. He decided to bring company and in return, probably caught the clap.”

“Yeah, him and five others,” Helen titters, shaking her head. 

“Oh, minging!”

“Eeewwww, ming-ing,” the other girls playfully mock in a faux British accent. “That's such a great word, I need to keep that in my pocket.”

“Minging,” Helen repeats as she lays her head on her pillow. “That's excellent!”

—

 Entering the club, Val grabs Olive by the hand and pulls her towards her ‘usual’ spot, right by the bar. 

“Jesus, Valencia,” Olive grumbles. “Almost pulled my elbow out of its socket.”

“Oh, don't be a baby,” she winks, pulling off her jacket and placing it on the back of her chair. “Anyway, had to rush for the perfect spot before Itchy and Co came along and took it. Look,” she points across the room to two men sat at the bar, deep in conversation. The taller one, with light brown hair looks over and winks. Val giggles, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “That's my Ev. Everett Blakely.”

“Oh!” Olive begins. “He's very handsome.”

“You got that right, doll. There, next to him, is his best friend. James Douglass.” Olive tries her best to look behind the tall Blakely, and as she does, she makes eye contact with James. It's as if the world stops turning for a second, her breath caught in her throat. “Fuck me,” she chokes out, pretending to fan herself. “That's one handsome bastard.” He pats Everett on the shoulder, his mouth agape. As smooth as silk, he winks at Olive and goes back to his conversation.

“Ohhhh,” Val teases. “More your type, huh?”

Right on cue, Demarco sidles up to the table, Meatball at his side.

“Hi,” he smiles, a hand outstretched. “Can I get you a drink?” Leading her to the bar, Olive turns around and nervously glances at Val who nods, egging her on just as Ev perches on the seat Olive just abandoned. 

“That'd be lovely. An Old Fashioned, please.” 

“Sure.”

“And how's my new best friend doing?” she asks, crouching to pet the dog. “Huh? You doing okay? Tired from running Miss Tattie ragged all day?”

“Ah, he's really no trouble.”

“Don't hear Tattie hear you say that,” she grins. “He tied himself up around her earlier and she was not pleased. Not to mention the fur on the donuts.”

“It's just an extra sprinkle of love!”

“It ain't love,” a voice calls from behind Olive. “I don't like hair in my mouth at the best of times as it is. But on my donut? Come on, Benny.” Olive turns to see Douglass, cheekily smiling at Benny, who, in turn, has clenched his jaw. 

“Come on, man,” he says, patting his shoulder. “You know I'm kidding.” Within an instant, Demarco's jaw has relaxed and he's laughing along with James, them playfully shoving each other. 

Demarco leans over the bar to order their drinks as James remains beside Olive. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asks, not making eye contact. 

“Oh, Benny's actually just getting me one. Maybe you can get me the next one. If you get there in time.”

“Oh, I see,” he teases. “Well, I'll try my best to keep an eye on you. The second I see that glass empty, I'm on it.”

“Sure,” Olive giggles. “I'll be waiting.” 

—

True to his word, the second Olive drains her glass, another is put in front of her. James is stood in front of the table Olive and Benny are sitting at, his chest slightly puffed out. “Told ya,” he said, clicking his tongue as he winks. Walking away, he joins Ev and Val at their table, pointedly pulling out an empty seat next to him. Pretending to join their conversation, he sips from his drink, his eyes dragging their way up and down Olive's body in such a way that she feels her stomach seize up in such a way that it makes her knees weak. She is glad to be sitting down, her thighs squeezing together as if they have a mind of their own.

“Right,” Benny says, putting his whiskey glass down louder than intended. “I gotta make sure Meatball gets outside before I get to bed. Will I see you tomorrow? I could walk ya home if you like?”

“No!” Olive blurts, panicking slightly. “I mean, no thanks. I'm good, I got it. But yes, you'll see me tomorrow. I'll save a donut for you and Meatball.”

“Perfect,” he says, standing up. “Goodnight.” He leans forward and kisses her gently on the cheek. Nodding at her, he leads Meatball out of the bar, Olive turning and puffing her cheeks out in some kind of unknown relief. 

She's alone for a millisecond before James is back beside her, handing her a cigarette. “You smoke?”

“I do. Can you believe I forgot mine in my purse at home?”

“At home? Don't you live here with Val and Helen?”

“Not yet. As of tomorrow, yes.”

“Can't wait for the prettiest girl in all of East Anglia to hand me a donut and a cup of coffee every morning.”

“Oh, stop,” she grins, the cigarette between her lips, feeling her cheeks grow pinker by the second. 

“Bet I can make ya laugh in one second.”

“Really?” She says, eyes narrowing. “Go for it.”

“What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?”

“I don't know, James. What is the difference?” 

“One is really heavy,” he begins, pulling his own zippo from his pocket. “The other is a little lighter!”

The cackle that leaves Olive's body has her instantly clamping a hand over her mouth, the other on her stomach. “That's a great laugh,” he says, lighting her cigarette for her as her hand leaves her mouth. “Don't cover your mouth when you laugh, though. You have a pretty smile.”

“Thanks,” she giggles, taking a drag of the cigarette. 

“Come on,” he says, his own cigarette between his teeth. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and she instantly cozies up to him. “Come sit with us. Saved you a seat.”

Val smiles up at the couple as they sit down, James's arm only leaving Olive's shoulders for a moment. 

“Ev, this is Olive, who I was telling you about. She'll be joining us on the Clubmobile as of tomorrow.”

“Hey, Olive. I see you've already met my pal Dougie here.”

“Sure have. With a terrible joke, too.”

“Not the hippo zippo one again!”

“She laughed her ass off, Ev.”

“She's just being polite.”

“No, seriously. It tickled me,” she interjects, winking at Dougie. He grins back, lighting another smoke. 

“Another drink, sweetheart?” Ev asks Val as he gets up. 

“Yes, please, honey,” she smiles. 

“Olive?” 

“Yeah, go on then.” He nods.

“Dougie, come give me a hand, bud.”

As soon as the boys depart, a shorter man with perfectly slicked dark hair slinks up to Val. 

“Valencia, my best buddy,” he says, setting his beer on the table. “Who's ya new friend?”

“Curtis, you're a pain in my ass,” Val says through gritted teeth. “Get!”

“Alright, fine,” he laughs, winking at both the girls. 

“I don't want you to catch his itch,” Val laughs. 

“Honestly, I don't want to itch either, girl.” 

The boys return, Val instantly making heart eyes at her man. Dougie plonks down heavily next to Olive, his hand finding its way to her thigh. 

“So, tell me about yourself.”

“What do you wanna know?” she asks, sipping her drink.

“Everything. We got all night.”

read part 4 here

[grape-icing]

Hi!! Could you do a fic with Cg! Jane and Regressor! Roxy? I think Roxy would definitely regress, wanting to experience having a mom since she never had one. Maybe she and Jane bake cupcakes! Roxy tries to “help” but it’s really just stealing icing when Jane’s not looking hahaha.

HAI IM SOS SOSOSOSOS SORRY THIS IS SO LATE 😞 I hope you like it!! :3 I apologize for any grammar and/or spelling mistakes!!!

☆Cupcakes and culprits ☆

Jane was in the kitchen, quietly reading over her cookbook when she felt a small tug on the side of her dress.

“Hm?” Jane turned to find Roxy silently staring at her.

“Do you need something, Roxy?” Jane softy said knowing it was pretty early in the morning for Roxy due to her staying up at night.

“What um are you making?” Roxy gripped onto Jane, seeing her cookbook out.

“Cupcakes! I wanted some and I’m sure once Dirk and Jake get back they'd want some too!” Jane carefully moved out of Roxy's grip to fetch the ingredients needed to make cupcakes. As soon as she did, Roxy started whining.

“Huh? What’s wrong Roxy?” Jane turned around to quickly question her. Which she didn't get an answer too, just more whining.

“Uh? Oh, wait! Silly me, you're little aren't you?” Jane questioned due to Roxy's abnormal behavior.

“Uhmmmm.” Roxy waited for a moment before nodding.

“Okay! Well…uh… let's see, do you want to do something? Or play, or-” She was suddenly cut off by Roxy.

“Can I uhm help you make cupcakes?!” Roxy smiled as large as she could to persuade the girl in front of her. Jane was known for her love to bake but to her friend she was known for being quite pushy in the kitchen. Once the younger one asked the question Jane knew she couldn't say no! Just look how gosh-darn adorable she is!

“Sure! First, we have to get the ingredients. Roxy, can you please grab me two eggs from the fridge?” Jane quickly said without thinking.

“WAIT!” Jane suddenly yelled. Making Roxy jolt and stop in place.

“W-what? Am I trouble?” Roxy said, her voice pitching up as she asked the question.

“No no not at all! I just didn't want you to accidentally break the eggs because I'm not sure how old you are!” Jane was quick to reassure her that she wasn’t mad at her.

“Uhm I’m uhmmmmmmmm…five!!” Roxy squealed out. Jane continued to grab the ingredients, with the help of Roxy of course!

“Alright, I think we have all the ingredients! I’m going to list them out, tell me if we have them.” Roxy nodded in response.

“Okay, let’s start! Do we have two cups of flour?” “Yep!”

“1/2 teaspoon of salt?” “Uhm I think?”. Jane looked over to where the salt was.

“Yep we have it, Roxy!” “Oh okay!!”

“Two tablespoons of baking powder” “Uhmmmm yeah!”

“1/2 cup of butter?” “uh huh!”

3/4 cup of sugar?” “Yep!!!!”

“Two eggs?” “duh, Janey!!”

“A cup of milk?” “yea”

“Well, it looks like we have all the ingredients! I'm going to start preheating the oven then we can start mixing!” Jane stepped over to the oven, preheating it to 375.

“Okay, we can start mixing! Honey, can you help me pour the ingredients in?” Jane turned to Roxy, who nodded excitedly. So they both started pouring in the ingredients, with minor spills. In reality, it was mainly Roxy pouring in the ingredients with Jane's supervision, Although Jane thought Roxy did well especially considering that she was tiny.

“Can I stir now!? Pleaseeeeeeee janeyyyyyyyy” Roxy questioned, practically jumping from excitement. Jane ruffled the younger ones hair before replying.

“Yea.., but umm well honey I think it would be better if you got the icing ready, while I stirred, just to avoid any mess. Is that alright?” Roxy nodded a bit lost by what Jane meant.

“You get to color the icing any color you want!” Jane added, setting out a box of food dye. Roxy happily ran over to the pantry and grabbed out a tub of vanilla icing while Jane was stirring the cupcake batter. She sat the container on the counter beside of jane. Roxy opened up the box of food dye and grabbed the pink one before Jane stopped her. Roxy whined at Jane for taking the dye away, Jane quickly explained why.

“I took it away because I don't want you to go to crazy with the dye, Hoo Hoo! A few drops will work fine.” Jane unscrewed the cap and squirted a few drop in.

“Can you mix up the icing while I put the cupcakes in the oven?” Roxy quickly nodded, taking a spoon and stirring while Jane was doing what she said. After a few minutes Jane went to grab her timer which was in another room. That gave Roxy time to form an amazing idea, She really wanted something sweet and Jane wasn’t here so why not steal a few bites of icing!! And that’s exactly what she did, after a few bites Jane walked in.

“And what exactly do you think you’re doing little missy?” Jane loudly said, making Roxy jump.

“I uhm I was uh I was just uhm….making sure the icing wasn’t expired!! Uh huh” Roxy said confidently as if she didn’t stutter a million times.

“Sure you were hoo hoo! If you actually wanna help me you can but if you just want cupcakes you can wait in the living for them and the boys to get home!” Roxy picked the second option, she ran over to the window to wait and watch!

About 10 minutes later Jane pulled the cupcakes out of the oven and started frosting them, with Roxy watching closely, to “inspect” of course. Jane sat the younger one at the table and gave her a cupcake with pink frosting.

“YAY!!!! Thank you mama!!” Roxy squealed, shoving the cupcake in her mouth.

“Of course honey!” Jane softly patted Roxy head. Jane was about to pester Jake when suddenly the front door opened, it was Jake.

“Hello ladies, how have you chums been?” Jake questioned, setting his stuff down.

“We made cupcakes!!!!!!” Roxy said excitedly, jumping up and running to give Jake one.

“Well thank you, my little lady,” Jake said while biting into the cupcake.

[urfavsnia]

dance this sadness away

pairings : severus snape x fem! wife reader

summary : just a little dancing in the rain fic

warnings : nothing that i can think of!

word count ; 693

you watched your husband rolling your eyes as the other woman tried to keep on a conversation with him. you were just at the other shop while he was waiting for you. but now this surely had caught your interest.

you looked at the woman. she was a solid ten. but the unmistakable stiffness in severus' shoulders made you realize the inevitable. your husband had no interest in that woman who looked like a goddess in human form.

❝it's so crowded here, isn't it?❞ you heard her ask. my god, even her voice was so much like a soap opera actress.

❝yes.❞ a single syllable response and he turned away.

oops. you would have almost felt bad for the other woman except that he was your husband and she was trying to flirt with him.

❝those crystals are so pretty, aren't they?❞ she gushed, probably trying once more.

❝they're,❞ severus replied in his usual bossy tone which he used on his students, ❝i'm selecting one for my wife.❞

the colour had rushed out of the woman's face and you almost felt like laughing. poor her. she surely didn't know that your husband, this beautiful creature, had his eyes set only for you.

❝i saw you two,❞ you informed him once she was gone.

❝baby, i was not flirting with her,❞ he looked almost worried that you'd suspect him of cheating on you.

❝i know,❞ you grinned, ❝for someone who claims to be not conventionally attractive, you surely do get picked out a lot.❞

❝oh, i wouldn't mind being flirted with,❞ he held your hand, ❝as long as it's you who's flirting with me.❞

dang this wizard. he surely knew how to melt your insides.

❝oh my god, sev. it's about to rain!❞

you could barely keep the excitement away from your voice. you loved, loved, loved rain. even more so, dancing in the rain had always been a part of your bucket list.

❝merlin,❞ severus cursed, ❝if i was dressed in my normal attire, i would have hidden you under my cloak. but now we need to find a shelter.❞

❝i have an even better idea,❞ you smirked and before he could refuse, you dragged him in the rain. the raindrops fell on your bodies and you sighed.

❝what are you doing, y/n!❞ he widened his eyes, ❝we're going to get all we- never mind, we're already wet. but i don't want you to catch a cold.❞

you stopped him with a silly smile. ❝i promise it'll be worth it, sev. just come. i have always wanted to dance in the rain with the love of my life.❞

he stared at you and you snort. he must be thinking of how dunderhead his wife was. but the sight of you so happy and carefree, it warmed his heart. but of course he was not going to let you win so easily.

❝are you a dunderhead, y/n?❞

❝dunderhead enough to do this!❞ you giggled, ❝come on, it's fun! take my hand and let's dance this sadness away.❞

relentlessly, he took your hand in his and slowly, you both were in a rhythm with him twirling you around and you both giggling like kids in the rain. you could feel passersby staring at you both but you couldn't give a darn. you were too lost in the moment. the sky poured down over you and severus had the goofiest grin. somehow the scary professor snape looked so much like a normal human who's in love with another human as he clutched onto you, both of you laughing at the madness.

❝you remind me so much of the rain,❞ you softly mumbled.

he stared at you for the softest of seconds and then pulled you into a kiss mid-dance, rain soaking through your clothes. this was your most favourite kiss from now on.

and when you parted, you looked into each other's eyes and you could swear your husband was blushing.

❝merlin, i am soaked,❞ he complained once the rain was over.

❝but that was fun,❞ you pouted, ❝wasn't it?❞

❝yeah, yeah it was,❞ he kissed your forehead lightly, ❝because it was with you.❞

[yours-lovingly-cho]

˗ˏˋ 🄱🄴🅂🅃🄴🅂🅃 🄾🄵 🄽🄸🄶🄷🅃🅂 ´ˎ˗

•Summary: You miss him

•Pairing: Deigo kang × reader

•Implied:G/n reader, established relationship

•Warnings: grammer?, skinship, petnames, kissing, and let me know if any other

•Note: Finally!! ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ @imtomiee Thank you for being patient with me lovely ♡♡♡ hope it's upto your expectations! I'm really sorry that it took such a long while(⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠) don't be hesitant in admitting if it's not like you wanted

𝕃.𝕄𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

════════⊹⊱❖⊰⊹════════

" WE WILL LAND IN SEOUL SHORTLY, PASSENGERS ARE REQUESTED TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BELONGINGS "

........

You were girded by the loudest of chatterings, yet you felt lonely.

Maybe, because you half expected a pair of hands to hug you from behind and whisper 'surprise' or starry eyes to be simply hiding in the midst of the crowd, waiting for you to spot them and flash that smile you missed so much.

Heaving a sigh, you trudged down the tiles and out to the pavement, hoping for a miracle, only to be met with disappointment.

........

You were prepared for this the moment he asked you out dancing slowly in the rain, well atleast you thought so. Practically, you were going to reject him, 'cuz you knew it'll be hard to catch a break once it starts but....

Nonetheless you couldn't be blamed now, could you? Who'd be able to deny, if The Deigo kang were to ask you out with such a soft look in his eyes.

You sighed at the fond memory, standing at the very place.

It wasn't just any public park, it was a remote part of the park, hidden cleverly in the mazes.

You chuckled remembering trouble he made you go through to find the entry instead of just guiding you there, hand in hand, like any couple you'd expect but, oh well, he was extraordinary you suppose.

You recall the ravishing night as if yesterday, surrounded by the beauty of nature and the one in front you. As if the nature itself had planned this.

Soaking and holding you tightly, eyes locked into yours. Time slowed down, leaving you in a trance. He uttered the words that echoed through all your mind. And instead of speaking, you answered with a quick peck.

But that wasn't enough for him. He fished for your lips and kissed you properly, the one you deserved; hands running the length of your back, soothing your heart.

You wallowed in the feeling when you two parted; panting and disheveled. You dug your face in his chest and soon felt his heavy breaths fanning your neck and heard a muttered "I love you so darn much" as his fingers dug into your sides. The rest? Well, that's a history.

..........

You dragged your feet to the door of your lavishly empty apartment, but slammed it shut as soon as you opened it.

Okay. You knew you were lonely, but not enough to hallucinate. Right? What you saw just now, must've been a ghost.... right?

You gazed at your hand clutching the handle, then slowly opened the door again. And the scene was as it was. You rubbed your eyes and peered again.

" Is it that unbelievable babe? "

Your very lover let out a chuckle that rang through your whole being, assuring that it wasn't, in fact, just some dream. It was Him.

Him, who was kneeling with a bouquet of red tulips held out; surrounded by scattered red petals and little candles that cast a tender glow on his sharp features.

He stood up, only to get ambushed by your big bear hug, almost making him tumble backwards. You basked in his warmth as his laugh ringed in your ears like a melody.

" You're here " you mumbled; a tear or two threatening to pour out

" Yes love " he soothed you, " Just for you "

" You're really here " you dug into his chest; crushing him as tightly as you could as he swayed you both side to side.

" Yes my little bear " he kissed your head.

" What about the interview? " You asked suddenly, looking up at him with glassy orbs.

" Oh! I bailed " he smiled nonchalantly, kissing your forehead, " I missed you princess "

"But- "

" I doubt it'll be bad. I can't really get fired like that y'know " he kissed your nose I have a thing for nose kisses aahhh

He continued to smother you. He kissed your your eyes, cheeks, the corner of your lips, your chin, your jaw, the tiny bulge of your neck and lastly your sweet sweet lips as you two kept swaying side to side lightly.

You parted, only for a second or two when he kissed you again, lifting you off your feet while you wrapped them around his waist, but only for a little while as he stumbled backwards into the couch, abruptly breaking your kiss. Guess you weren't the only one feeling weak. Smirk

You two lay engulfed in the serene warmth. He rubbed your back as you sighed, " I love you " came your muffled voice, all the tiredness suddenly dawning on you. In response, he planted a long kiss on your head, whispering " Love you too my little bear " and there you go! You shut down to enter your awaited dreamland.

∴━━━✿━━━∴

Thank you so much

for reading till the end!

[lunexrin]

"The Way I Loved You" -Taylor Swift.

Gojo Satoru & Nanami Kento (Ex lover and current lover AU.)

[1:38]

He respects my space and never makes me wait,

Nanami never tried to push it when you needed space. Like the mature man that he is, he'll give you the space that you needed and won't come ruining your door at 4 in the morning with McDonald's thinking that he would be easily taken back by you. Nanami never made you wait in the pouring rain no matter the situation, even if his life was on line. Nanami will put you first above everything, he swore. And he keeps his promise, until this day.

He calls exactly when he says he will,

If he says he'll call you in 10, he will call you in 10. No excuses, no petty; "Oh I was saving some people from some curse" bullshit. Nanami would never ghost you and disappeared off to the unknown only to show up at your doorstep weeks later. He won't. He'd never.

He's close to my mother, talks business with my father,

He is indeed very close to your mother. Always showering her with gifts every time he drops by, helping her in the kitchen, even going as far as helping her do the chores in her house. He was the perfect son-in-law-to-be, instead of some egoistical lunatic who never takes it seriously and brags about how he needed to leave right now in the name of 'saving the world'. He was definitely the man who'd light up your father's cigarette in such a well-mannered gesture, all while discussing the wedding plans. Not the type of man that'll avoid breathing the same air as your father, not at all.

He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable.

He would never be less than perfection. He is the 'perfect' man to settle down with, the perfect husband, the perfect son-in-law, the perfect father-to-be. Of course you'd be comfortable around him, right?

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain,

Oh, how you miss it all. You miss all the times where you'd scream on the top of your lungs at the white hair bastard with the most enchanting blue eyes your own have ever witnessed, and he'd happily do the same. Being the strongest meant having all of this pent-up stress and frustration, and you'd only add even more to the already existent mountains of it, and in the heat of the moment, he'd kiss you under the pouring rain. Romantic, yes, sure. But what was coming after that was the ugly truth after the show ended. The ugly reality behind the scenes of what was displayed.

It's 2am and I'm cursing your name,

It's 2 in the morning and you are sprawled on top of your bed, holding the bottle of wine with a grip that turns your knuckles white. You looked nothing close to sane, and the perfect definition of unhinged.

"Curse you Gojo fucking Satoru! Curse you and your darn six eyes and sick promises!"

So in love that you act insane,

Satoru was in love, that is a known fact. Maybe even beyond that-- he's love struck. Addicted. Obsessed. Intoxicated. So love struck until to the point where you not being attached to his hip for a millisecond would drive him insane.

He was so in love, and maybe still is.

And that's the way I loved you.

And that's how you loved him. Returned the toxicity, returned the obsession, returned the affection in the name of love.

Breaking down and coming undone, it's a roller coaster kind-of-rush,

Being his little getaway from the whole 'saving-the-world' bullshit was anything but normal. It was anything but mundane, and you could've swore the adrenaline shot up to the max whenever you were with him, and it makes you dizzy, even. He was like a drug. A taste that'll leave you addicted and would eventually ruin you.

I never knew I could feel that much,

You never knew you could feel that way. You thought that love was supposed to be light-hearted, but it wasn't that at all with him. He made you feel like you're on cloud nine, before the reality reached you again and you descended to the bottomless pit of darkness that is swallowing your heart alive.

And that's the way I loved you.

And that was the way you loved him. Crazy and passionate, under the name of love's sake.

© 2023 lunexrin, do not copy, translate or repost on any other websites without proper credits.

[danses-with-dogmeat]

🐐🌵

hancock and a trans man sole survivor having romantic, slow sex?? please please please include biting if you can i beg of u

thank u bestie 🙏 u feed me well

Awwwwwww, yes. Absolutely. Totally, I can do that. 😏

Gosh darn it though, we love sweet Hancock <3

I hope you enjoy!

NSFW below, minors please don't interact!

"Fuck sweetheart..." Hancock's voice rasped into his partner's ear, his hot breath spilling over Sole's searing skin as he gave another dizzying thrust into him.

"You don't understand how good you feel for me, baby."

Hancock felt the shudder of Sole's body against his own, and couldn't help the toothy grin that spread his ruined lips.

"John..." Sole damn near whimpered his name, the sound going straight to the ghoul's cock as he gave another slow, deep thrust.

He felt Sole's fingers tighten over his shoulders as he drove further into his tight heat, as his rough skin pressed up against Sole's flawless body, steamy and stimulating in the way he strategically angled his hips to drive pleasure into his partner's aching core.

"C'mere... Lemme taste you, Sunshine." Hancock leaned his head down on the next thrust, the remnants of his lips exploring the hollow of Sole's throat like he wanted to commit it to memory. He only pulled away to chance a glance at his partner's expression, the enchanting way Sole took his bottom lip between his teeth, his expressive eyes hidden behind tightly closed lids, his brows drawn together in pure bliss.

Hancock could watch him like this for hours and still never get enough.

Shit was somethin' else.

The ghoul shook his head at the thought, suddenly held hostage by Sole's face, by his light, sweet sounds, the all-encompassing feel of him wrapped within his wiry arms, the way his hot walls caressed his cock so lovingly, like all of him refused to let Hancock go.

"Don't stop..." Sole breathed, his eyes falling half-open, centering in on his partner above him, as Hancock's deep, midnight eyes, filled to bursting with affection for him. That raw emotion was enough to inspire an ache deep within Sole's chest that burned down to the rest of his pleasure-ridden body.

"Please, John. Don't-- don't stop loving me." He pleaded with a subtle thrust of his own hips up and into Hancock's contact.

"Fuck, never, baby." Hancock dove back in instantly, catching Sole's mouth with his, pouring desire into his tender touch as he resumed his dizzyingly slow pace, reaching as far as he could go and still not feeling close enough, not satiated enough.

"'S not possible." He moaned against him. "Gonna love you like this long as I can. Long as you can take it."

Sole's channel tightened like a vise around him, and Hancock nearly faltered, feeling his cock twitch in response to the intense stimulation. Unwittingly, Hancock's pace quickened as he felt his release building, as Sole continued to constrict his achingly hard cock.

"Ah, fuck--" Hancock hissed as a sudden pain erupted on his shoulder.

"Did, did you just bite me, Sunshine?"

The sharp pressure released instantly, and Sole began to stutter beneath him, his expression one of embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry, I-I just, I don't know why..."

"Nah, baby." Hancock leaned forward, nuzzling his lips over Sole's flushed cheek, "Don't you dare apologize for somethin' like that."

Hancock's head turned swiftly, catching him in a searing kiss, stealing Sole's breath and clouding his head all at once.

"In fact," He continued as he pulled away, forehead still pressed affectionately against his partner's as he quirked one brow upwards, "Why don't you do it again?"

[influenzalake]

'I love...' Damian Wayne x Reader (Reader Centric)

Reader is so tired of what people say about their babe, so they give their two cents 

femelle reader/ she her used, about 800 words, enjoy lovelies 

You're being "interviewed" by The Gotham Gazette. 

(They caught you by surprise out in public and your ride was a few, darn steps out of reach)

 Everybody wants the inside scoop of how you fell in love with Gotham's new young prince. There are many questions and rumors as to how Damian managed to get such a sweet thing as you. They flood your senses and any escape routes are blocked off. 

"Were you paid?" 

Cameras flash directly into your eyes.

"Were you forced?"

Microphones are shoved in your face.

     "Were you paid then forced? Blink now if you need help!"

The rumors turned into accusations and it was getting out of hand. It was very hurtful to Damian to see how the media thought of him and his family. Contrary to how the public may think, he does indeed have feelings. He would never think of all the horrible crimes that sprawl across newspapers, article titles, and televisions. He fights people who actually commit them every night! It all gets to his head and he pushes people away. In these moments he rarely makes eye contact with his beloved, thinking she is here not for his love but because she feels like she has no other options. It hurts him deeply. 

You thought it was finally time to set the record straight.

Damian sits down in front of the TV and, against his better judgement, he tuned in to the latest shows to see what people were saying about him. He knows it's probably not good for his health, but he can't help himself. It's just going to be more talk show nonsense to fill runtime anyway.

That is, until he sees her.

his... beloved?

Talking about their relationship!

His heart begins pounding like a drum in his ears. He can barely believe it. He thought he was doing a good job. He thought he was treating her well, giving her everything a woman could ask for. It stung and then it sank that she would go to the MEDIA about their personal lives. He was already sifting through the dark assumptions about what this report would entail...

Reporter 1: "So Ms. Wayne- Can I call you Ms. Wayne? Is it official yet? Anything you want to share with us?"

Y/N: "Not yet! Sorry to keep anyone in the deep end but you'll have to wait for an official announcement for that."

Reporter 1: "SHARP! I like you! Okay moving on, so- I'm sure you're already aware of the *ahem* opinions regarding your relationship. Do you mind telling us about that?"

Y/N: "Yes of course. I cannot speak on behalf of my partner, but it is very cruel what people are saying about him. I understand that not everybody gets to spend time with him the way I do, but I think the world would be a better place if we could all be more kind to each other-"

Reporter 1: "Great, great, but what do you actually SEE in him? Multiple reports have all correlated to him having a very   for lack of a better term   -strong- personality. Can you please, for the audience of course, tell us what attracted you to Damian?"

You dig deep into your history with Damian and let it flow naturally. You speak from the heart and let your true emotions shine. Any fault and the media would go notice and into a frenzy and you're here to clear up the misconceptions, not make them.

Some silence, then a deep breath. Your face rises the same way he is used to seeing every time he comes home. 

For a moment, seeing your face like that, his anxiety is *almost* gone. 

Y/N: "He impresses me everyday. I see the man who loves me, his family, and Gotham more than any other. He amazes me with his intellect and skill. He carries Wayne Industries into better and better times. He holds conferences for the improvement of his city. He educates and works for the community. Then he comes back from that to come to me, and I see a man. A man with his entire heart poured out. I love speaking to this man. He, of course, always says exactly what he thinks. I never had to worry about whether he truly loved me or not! How many men can you say that about these days? Some may think it's harsh, but I wouldn't want him any other way."

You dig a little bit deeper.

 "But most of all, he is not afraid of improvement. Damian, in my eyes, is a selfless man who works hard to be the best he can be. There is no other person I would rather have by my side."

And while every reporter, cameraman, and poor intern that was dragged into this is busy finding their jaws on the ground.    You make your escape. 

[yakuzacanons]

Hi, sorry for my bad English, I'm still learning to write in English. So I was playing The Sims 4 and I automatically remembered posts about what it would be like if the boys played Minecraft and Roblox, so I asked myself: How would each of them feel and react playing The Sims 4? I'm a new follower and I love your posts!

YES this is so cute omg, also to anyone else sending asks I SEE THEM I will get to them, I got like 35 of y'all in my inbox and I LOVE YOU ALL just be patient, thank you mwah. Anyways, the headcanons below da cut, here we go.

Kazuma Kiryu

Fascinated by The Sims. Mostly watches the kids play it, but they end up roping him into playing eventually. Needs some help at first, it takes time to learn the ropes, but he's pretty good at picking up on it. Says things like "Ah... I see." a lot. Out of all the games the kids have shown him, The Sims seems to stick the quickest.

Majima Goro

Takes a million years in character creation alone. Like decorating things or dressing the people up. Total chaos lord, if something catches on fire in game he just gets confused. A lot of saying "What do I do, c'mon, tell me!" really quickly and loudly. Talks to his Sims, says things like "Darn it, I told ya to go HERE."

Akiyama Shun

Makes his Sims hit on everyone. Actually a bit of a chaos gremlin but only in games like The Sims specifically. Once he realizes that game is basically him making a bunch of tiny people do funny stuff, he will proceed to do exactly that. Will always pick THE most styling outfits for his Sims.

Saejima Taiga

Squints a LOT, especially when trying to read options in the charater creation menu or when a Sim has choice bubble pop up. When he sees a Sim isn't happy, he says things like "Huh? Didn't I just feed ya?". His first playthrough is super messy and the house he builds is totally not functional so it'll take him a few attempts to actually get going in the game.

Tanimura Masayoshi

Honestly the most basic of all the boys at Sims. Plays it straight, pours in exactly a reasonable amount of hours, struggles an average amount. It's not his most favorite type of game to play and he prefers to watch others play it as he finds their choices more interesting than his own.

Ryuji Goda

He's all about that house building, babey. Probably ends up building himself some monstrosity of a tower and is like "Look what I made!". He actually kind of likes The Sims a lot once he realizes it's supposed to be a little chaotic. This makes him actually relax more, whereas with other games he can get a little frustrated when something unusual happens.

Nishikiyama Akira

Probably the most likely to make his Sims look like himself and/or people he knows. If not people he knows directly, then something like a celebrity or famous character. Pretty good at matching his Sims to people's appearances, although he mostly cares about the character creation than anything else. Might not even play the game beyond making characters honestly.

Daigo Dojima

Very precise gamer. House has to be spick and span, all the Sims have to be happy before he turns the game off. Fond of the decorating or dress up aspects and likes to see his Sims make friends or start relationships. Treats it more like a dating sim than anything.

Mine Yoshitaka

Sort of like Daigo but he treats it like a business management Sim. His Sim is going to be the very best like no one ever was. Won't really tell anyone he plays the Sims as it's kind of his guilty pleasure game. Prefers having as few Sims as possible in one game so it's easier to manage them all.

Tatsuo Shinada

Best Sims player to watch in a livestream of all the boys. Total goofball, tons of "What's this option do?" and general fucking around and finding out with his gameplay style. Makes the most random looking Sims. Naturally comedic when he plays it. Tries super hard to romance other Sims though.

[redroomroaving]

2024 Writing Retrospective

Thank you for the tag @tavyliasin, I'll try!

What's been your biggest learning point this past year?

I learnt a lesson in over filling my plate. I've always had eyes bigger than my belly, quote my mother, and that apparently applies to my creative output too. I overstretch myself in many ways in life because I get frustrated by my limitations, but you'd think that after so very many opportunities to learn this lesson I actually would?

All of which is to say; it's ok for some stuff to just be ideas. My desperate need to make things exist is a good thing, but in moderation. I ended the year with way too many WIPS, and that was a problem.

How has your writing developed this past year?

I've learnt a lot about myself; the things I'm excited about writing, and the things I'm not. I learnt how to write smut! Then I practiced and got more confident in it. I've practised character voices and how to reflect alternative POVs not just in the way a character speaks but how they think; how I structure sentences, how I alternate observations and internal monologues. I've also come to take more risks and lean harder into following the stories as they go, and letting myself roll with the consequences. Now I just need to learn how to be like, organised - to plot and outline - that sort of thing.

Bad writing habits?

A zillion. Writing out of order; skipping to the good part. Not ending sentences when I should. Repetition. Starting things and then not finishing them.

Constantly going on about lilts in peoples chests.

Oh, and all the untitled documents and the general disaster that is my creative process. I called myself a bunch of monkeys with minaiture cymbals in a washing machine back in like March and I'm sorry to say that's NOT GOTTEN BETTER.

Favorite thing you wrote?

'Sufferer, I shall', which probably will remain the best thing I write. All downhill from there, baby.

'Conductor, Ringmaster' is shortly behind, because it's been so much fun to write and lets me stretch my legs a lot, creatively.

(More recently, I'm also really fond of my Bor x Geraldus one shot Stoke the Fire, which I found a very comforting thing to write.)

Biggest win?

Finishing my longfic 'The Harper & The Tower', my Rolan x Geraldus fic that is, to be honest, really an 150k monument to Harper Geraldus because I adore him and wanted to write him a big happy love story that explored his character, his history, his relationships. I'm proud that I achieved a lot of what I set out to with that story, and hope people enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Goals for the new year?

Finish some darn WIPS, especially 'Conductor, Ringmaster' and 'The Red Harp'. Write more Lae'zel. Write more women, full stop.

Get Bor at least 10 fics on Ao3.

Go outside more, be happier and healthier. Worry less about expectations and meeting them. Remember I write things, selfishly, because I want to write them, and it's ok that I don't always feel I fit in with what it feels like the fandom wants.

I pride myself in my love for the characters, and my belief in their love, as being what I pour into my work. It's a strength, not a weakness; and if I don't love it, I don't need to write it, because that feeling wont be there either. That's ok.

Your favorite words of the year, aka the words you check each chapter for, making sure you didn't repeat them 788 times?

Oooh so many. Lilt. Blush. Bright. Now. Stop saying 'now' so much, damn, people get that it's happening presently.

What are you excited for in the new year?

Working on some collaborations I've been plotting! Finishing some things! Spending more time on The Red Harp and Boraldus.

Getting married; living a bit. Hopefully having better health than 2024.

That sort of thing.

No pressure tags for @librivore42 @lizziemajestic @lemonsrosesandlavender and @ankhegs-in-my-salad

[bygracealonegirly]

The anniversary of my brother's death is coming up, and 3 years later I'm shocked at how the grief can creep up and swallow me still. If I think about him more than in passing I still weep. I'm still overwhelmed by the absence of his belly laugh and mischievous grin. I still feel rage creep up when I think about how unfair it all is; his 3 young children were too small to have personal memories of him, and must subsist on what we show and tell them. His beloved wife only got 5 years with him total - some people get 60. Our view into God's plan is so narrow, I know, I really do, but still, why him?

CJ was something else. A real gen-u-ine cowboy. Tough hands, crinkly eyes, and an ever present grin. Quite the dancer. A heck of a card player. An even better choir singer. He was never short on jokes or belly laughs. The best darn bow hunting partner I'll ever have. And gosh he loved his wife; the sun rose and set on her from the moment they memorably met (she slapped his rear end on a dare during a rodeo and told him to quote "giddy up cowboy"; they were wed 18 months later). He was an incredibly doting father who insisted on doing the late night feedings because work kept him so busy in the daytime. And most of all he was a true Christian who shared God's Word with most anyone who would listen and loved his neighbors.

Every year I approach being older than he ever was. 24 years and 18 days, 6 hours and 32 minutes (I'm sure Mama knows the seconds.) It's unnatural to grow older than your big brother, and each of us younger siblings marches toward it; my sister surpassed him recently and fell into hysterics once she realized. The clock now looms over me like the shadow of death itself.

It was a farm accident. A freak thing. Everyone tried their best to save him; first his wife, then the neighbors, then local EMTs, a flight nurse and a paramedic, countless nurses and doctors and specialists from The Big City. They all wept with us as he took his final breaths, surrounded by more people than the hospital was technically supposed to let in. It took him an excruciatingly long time to pass on once support was pulled, and his heart only finally slowed and stopped when his wife assured him "I've got this CJ, don't worry, I've got the kids and the cows, you go on home now".

I can't even type that without shaking.

I hardly knew her before they wed, and not much more before he passed away. She became much more than the mother of my nieces in the wake of his death; she's well and truly one of the strongest people I know, and a true sister to me. I'll never be able to thank her enough for giving him peace enough to let go in his final moments. She's not much of a dancer or a card player, and she can't so much as hit the side of a broad barn with a bow, but I like singing with her in church, and she's helping me learn to quilt now.

I read somewhere that grief is just love with no place to go. So tonight as my throat aches with thoughts of CJ, I'll pour out some of this love. Into my dogs, my horses, my plants, my nieces, my sister-in-law, my sister-in-law's new boyfriend, and God, who I know is in control and has a Plan, who has overcome the grave, and whose will I submit to even if at this moment it's painful. Because I know He keeps His promises.

"I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:

And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die."

Ride on Cowboy, see you on the other side 💙