#i'll write this better when i create her file

[milkiigalaxii]

crystal is like uh poor. she lives in the slum with her uncle who is a fisherman. crystal wants to be an engineer but her uncle is like 'no, no, thats dangerous. be a fisherman like me, niece'. stuff happened and she's like 'fuck this shit, im out' and ran away from home. dr wily has been watching her the entire time and offered to get her out of her miserable life if she could work for him. and yeah, she did. so dr wily is now her mentor.

same with sonic au but its eggman

spoiler alert: she will eventually betray them bc holy shit they are evil af. shockers

[jetii]

Event Horizon

Chapter Eighteen: Reprieve (Rex POV Part Two)

Chapter WC: 6,545

Chapter Tags/Warnings: fluff and angst, Rex being a cutie, Fives being a good brother, the usual amount of existentialism

A/N: This is a continuation of my previous Rex POV, following chapter 18 and occurring the morning before their Not-Date #2 in chapter 19. If you saw me post this on Wednesday no you didn't!!

As I've mentioned before, I normally write these as things for myself to read and get into the right headspace, so it may be a little incoherent. Also Goldie is only referred to her as she/her in this one, but be warned the next one may not be like that. I am nothing if not inconsistent.

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Coruscant, 21 BBY

The next morning, Rex shoots out of bed at 0600 hours, a bundle of nervous energy.

He gets dressed quickly and heads out, a spring in his step, the datachip in his pocket. It's early enough that he’s one of the first to arrive at the Resolute’s mess hall for breakfast, and he returns the nods and friendly, tired smiles from the night crew as he fills his tray. He takes his usual spot at a table by the viewport and sits down, the chair creaking beneath him, his head down and focused on his datapad.

Rereading her messages is a welcome distraction from the tasteless gruel on his tray. She hasn't replied to his latest note yet, but that's not unusual. She's probably sleeping. He hopes she is, anyway.

Rex picks at his breakfast and reads the messages over and over again, his lips curving upwards into a small smile. The conversations are short, and they're not particularly interesting, but he finds himself reliving them, reading between the lines, trying to interpret the meaning behind each sentence. Is there a double-meaning? Are the words hiding an unspoken truth?

It's pathetic.

He knows that.

He's acting like a lovestruck teenager, not a clone captain who has better things to be doing. Like planning their next mission. Or reading his intel reports. Or actually eating his breakfast.

It's not like him, and Rex knows that. He's not this type of man. He's never been this type of man.

But then again, no one has ever made him feel this way.

No one.

And Rex is finding that he rather likes it.

He’s halfway through a particularly long and amusing message about her recent argument with Skywalker, given a codename in their correspondence because, well, it's not exactly protocol, when the chair across from him scrapes across the floor and a heavy thud follows.

"Mornin'," Fives drawls, his tone thick with fatigue.

"Morning," Rex replies without looking up. He taps the screen and scrolls down, skimming the paragraph, trying to find where he left off, and he feels a smile threaten when he rereads the words. She certainly knows how to paint a picture. It's not surprising. He's read enough of her reports to know her flair for the dramatic doesn't stop at battle.

"Did you sleep?"

"Hm? Yeah," Rex says distractedly, his spoon held halfway between his mouth and his tray. He reaches the end of the message and clicks the button, moving onto the next one.

"Really? You look awful."

"Thanks." Rex lets out a low snort and finally takes a bite, swallowing. "I was up late."

"Yeah? Doin' what?"

Rex pauses and lifts his head. He opens his mouth to respond, but then he remembers the datachip, and the files, and his plans for the day, and he shuts his mouth with an audible click.

"Working," he answers instead.

"Of course you were." Fives shakes his head and starts to mix his vegetable and protein rations together, creating a brown, gooey mixture that Rex would never dare put near his mouth. "You're gonna work yourself to death, you know that?"

"I'll be fine." 

Rex shrugs and turns his attention back to the datapad. She's been sending him a lot of pictures lately, mostly of tookas, and though he’d had to ask her to stop, he hadn’t deleted a single one.

Instead, he's saved them, all of them, and he finds himself scrolling through them when he has a free moment, a smile on his lips. This one, he can see her reflection in the shop window, her nose scrunched in concentration as she tries to get a good shot. He resists the urge to zoom in and moves onto the next message.

"If you say so, Captain," Fives hums.

Rex ignores the comment and continues to read, his eyes moving across the words, the corner of his mouth twitching. He's about halfway through her rant about the Council, and he has to fight the urge to laugh.

They're driving me insane. Literally. I swear, they're trying to kill me. Either that, or they're actively trying to ruin my life. There is no other explanation.

It's a dramatic statement, and a little over-the-top, but it's so typical of her that Rex doesn't mind. He'd never admit it, not in a million years, but he finds it kind of cute. Her dramatics. Her overreactions. Her tendency to exaggerate. He likes it.

He likes her.

It's not his fault, really. He can't help it.

If you hear screaming from up here, it's me. Just ignore it. Or, you know, come save me. That'd be nice.

Fives sighs, and the chair creaks as he leans back. Rex hears him take a long sip of his caf and swallow, but he's too engrossed in his datapad to look up. He doesn't have to. He's seen the face his brother is making a hundred times. He's seen him make that face every morning. It's a routine they've both fallen into.

Fives drinks his caf in three big gulps and then sets the cup down on the table. The cup thuds against the durasteel surface, and the chair creaks again as Fives leans forward, his elbows resting on the table. There's a moment of silence, and then his brother sighs again, louder this time.

"Something interesting?" Fives asks innocently.

"Hm? Yeah."

"Really?"

"Just some reports," Rex mutters, his thumb scrolling down the screen. "Nothing special."

"Oh yeah?" Fives hums, and he props his chin up in his palm, giving Rex a sly look as he leans forward, forcing himself into his line of sight. "You don't usually smile like that when you're reading reports."

Rex blinks and lifts his head. He raises an eyebrow and meets his brother's gaze, trying his best to appear unruffled, even as his stomach flutters, his pulse jumping.

"Smile like what?" he asks warily.

Fives leans back and gestures to his face, mimicking a dopey, lovesick grin. Rex can't deny its accuracy. They have the same face. He'd be a fool to try.

He is, though. A fool, that is. And he's going to play the part.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rex deflects, and he tries not to think about how stupid he sounds.

"You're a bad liar," Fives points out with a laugh. He picks up his spoon and starts mixing his rations together again, the spoon scraping against the metal tray. "You sure you didn't stay up all night writing love letters?"

Rex feels the heat rise to his cheeks, and his eyes widen, his heart stuttering. He glances around the room, but the few troopers in the mess are engrossed in their own conversations, and no one is paying them any mind.

The screen goes dark as he drops the datapad to the table. A faint beep echoes through the space, and Rex clears his throat, shifting in his seat. He takes a deep breath and forces his shoulders to relax, trying his best to appear calm. Unfazed. Unaffected.

"Fives, I have no idea what you're talking about," he says slowly, enunciating every syllable.

"You've been spending a lot of time with your comm lately. And your datapad," Fives muses, his tone casual. He shrugs and shoves a heaping spoonful into his mouth, and then, with a full mouth, adds, "More than usual. And you missed sabacc last night. And the night before."

He gives Rex a pointed look, and Rex frowns, the realization sinking in. He has missed the past few card games. It hadn't occurred to him. It hadn't even crossed his mind. He'd been so focused on getting the intel, and finding a way to tell her, and planning how the whole thing was going to go, that he hadn't realized the implications.

But he's been careful. He's covered his tracks, and he's sure no one has seen him sneaking away to answer messages or send them. Or at least, he'd thought no one had seen him. It was late. And he was tired. He might've been a little careless. But it's not a big deal. It's nothing.

Except it is something.

And he can tell by the smug look on his brother's face that Fives knows it.

Rex scoffs. "What, you're keeping track of my schedule now?"

"Nope." Fives swallows and grins. "Echo is."

Rex's expression hardens, and his lips thin. He should’ve known better than to think the two of them wouldn’t compare notes. He'd underestimated their interest in his personal life, and he can tell by the gleam in Fives' eyes that it's going to come back and bite him.

A tense silence falls between them as Rex stabs at the lump of green protein, a muscle twitching in his jaw. The metal clinks against the plate as he drags the spoon through the mass of rations, the food sticking to the utensil. It's an unfortunate sight, and he tries not to think about the meal awaiting him later this afternoon as he forces a bite into his mouth. The last time, they'd gotten so much food that he'd felt guilty. He'll have to tell her not to this time, though he doesn't want her to think that he doesn't appreciate it. It's the opposite.

The look on her face as she watched him try nearly everything Dex had to offer is something he'll never forget. She'd been delighted. He'd never seen her like that before. It was so...real. So genuine. So open. And seeing her that way...

Well, it had made him feel like someone had grabbed his heart and squeezed.

Hard.

It still does.

"What are you trying to get at?" Rex finally asks, and Fives shrugs.

"Nothing. Just curious."

He scowls and spears another bit of protein, ignoring the look his brother is giving him.

"Right," he drawls.

“You're spending a lot of time in your bunk, and we've all noticed." Fives leans back in his chair and points his spoon at Rex. "And when we have downtime, you're not here. Which means you're either working, or..."

"Or?" Rex challenges, his tone flat.

"Or, you're doing something else."

Fives smirks and leans forward again, his gaze intent, a knowing look in his eyes. It's the same look he gives him every time he catches him staring at her. It's a look that always makes his chest tighten and his stomach twist, and Rex finds himself holding his breath, his muscles tensing.

He waggles his eyebrows, and Rex lets out a soft snort, rolling his eyes.

"That's a bold assumption," he mutters.

"Not really," Fives chuckles, and there's a hint of mischief in his voice that Rex doesn't like. "Because I have a feeling I know exactly what's keeping you up at night."

Rex stares at his brother for a moment, and then, in a sudden surge of panic, he looks around the room again. Thankfully, the troopers are still deep in their conversations, and the officers at the other end of the room are too engrossed in their datapads to notice. But still, he lowers his voice, his brow furrowing, his tone wary.

"Yeah?" he says slowly, his hand gripping the spoon a little tighter than necessary.

"Yeah," Fives replies confidently. "You're finally taking my advice."

Rex blinks. "What?"

"My advice. About talking to her," Fives explains, and he gestures towards Rex's datapad, a sly smile on his lips. “I’m happy for you, vod. She's a looker. If I was in your position, I'd be smiling like that, too."

The food turns to ash in Rex's mouth, and his stomach plummets, his pulse pounding in his ears. He chews quickly and forces himself to swallow, the lump burning a path down his throat as he sets his utensils down carefully. The metal clinks against the tray before he folds his hands together, resting his elbows on the table. He takes a slow breath and meets his brother's gaze.

"I'm sorry," Rex says slowly, his tone even. "Who?"

Fives grins and leans forward, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

"General Anathorn," he hisses. "Who else?"

The blood drains from his face, and his eyes go wide, the weight in his stomach twisting and churning. His mind spins, trying to think of a response, but his thoughts are a jumbled mess, and all he can manage is a blank stare.

"I...What?" he manages to croak.

"Don't worry, I get it," Fives says, and his lips curve upwards, a smug smile on his face. "You've been flirting with her for months, and she's hot, and you're stressed. Makes sense that you'd try and relieve some tension. Not exactly by the book, but, hey, what's a little fun between friends?"

"Wait, hold on," Rex says quickly, his hand rising in a placating gesture. "Back up. You think...what?"

Fives laughs. He picks up his cup and takes a long sip of his caf. Then, he leans back, his elbows resting on the armrests, his legs stretched out beneath the table, a smirk tugging at his lips. His gaze sweeps over the room and then comes back to rest on Rex.

"Come on, Captain, there's no need to be shy," Fives teases. "You don't have to be embarrassed. We all know."

Rex's mind comes to a screeching halt as the world goes quiet around him. Everything fades into the background, the sounds muffled, the colors dimmed to a haze of grey and white. All he can see is Fives, sitting across from him, grinning at him, teasing him, and all he can feel is the cold weight of dread that's settling in the pit of his stomach, a nauseous chill spreading throughout his body.

They know. They all know. And they all think...

It's the worst possible scenario. He's been careful. So careful. And yet, he'd let his guard down, and they'd figured it out. How long have they known? How many of them know? Are they all laughing at him behind his back? What are they going to do?

This is the kind of thing that could get him decommissioned, reprogrammed, or worse. This is the kind of thing that could ruin everything, and the thought of losing her, of being separated from her, is enough to make him want to throw up.

If they know about his feelings for her, they must know about his conversations with her, too. What else had they noticed? Does he talk in his sleep? Had they seen him drag her into the alcove on Kamino and break down in front of her? Had they watched his hands linger, or his eyes trace the curves of her body, or the way he smiles when she walks into the room?

Has it always been this obvious, or had he just gotten sloppy?

Rex doesn't know.

"Relax," Fives says, waving his hand. "We're all cool with it."

"Cool with what?"

Rex's voice comes out in a choked rasp, and he tries not to flinch. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, his pulse racing, his thoughts a jumbled mess. This is bad. This is so bad.

He's been reckless. He's been stupid. He's put himself, and her, in danger.

"The two of you," Fives explains, oblivious to the panic swirling inside Rex, threatening to choke him. "It's cute. We're rooting for you."

"I...you..."

Rex opens his mouth and then closes it. He tries to form words, but nothing comes out.

"You're lucky,” Fives continues with a laugh. He takes another sip of his caf and adds, his tone casual, "If any of us tried half the shit you do with her, we'd have our necks snapped. But you...she seems to like it. You've got some game. I didn't think you had it in you."

"Fives,” Rex says, the only word his brain is able to form.

"I'm serious," Fives chuckles, and he reaches across the table, snatching up the datapad. 

Rex lunges for it, but Fives is faster, and he pulls the device out of reach, his eyes scanning the screen. Rex grits his teeth and leans across the table, his hand wrapping around his brother's other wrist and keeping it pinned to the surface. His empty cup turns on its side, a trickle of caf spilling out, but he's too focused on Fives to right it.

"Give it back."

"Hold on," Fives says, squinting at the screen. His eyebrows shoot up, his lips parting in a mock-shock. "Is this a joke? Are you two trading jokes? Wow, Captain."

"Fives," Rex hisses.

"Huh. This is pretty tame," he muses.

"Fives."

"And you're using codenames," Fives adds. "Interesting."

"Give it back," Rex growls, his grip tightening.

Fives ignores him and continues to scroll through the messages.

"These are...actually pretty boring," Fives mutters, his brow furrowing. He pauses and taps the screen, skimming through the texts, a curious look on his face. "Why are you smiling so much? This is just a conversation about caf. How is that romantic?"

"Fives," Rex warns, squeezing his wrist, and he holds his hand out. His tone is sharp and commanding, the kind of voice he uses when the troopers are disobeying orders, but Fives doesn't seem bothered. He's still scrolling, his expression thoughtful, his lips pursed in concentration, and Rex can feel the vein in his forehead pulsing. "You have three seconds."

"What, before you deck me?"

Fives chuckles and glances up, a twinkle in his eye. At the sight of Rex's expression, his amusement fades.

"Whoa," he breathes. He sits up, his face sobering. "Rex, I'm kidding. Calm down."

"Then stop," Rex hisses, his eyes darting around the room. They're being too loud, and too obvious, and he knows the other clones are starting to notice. There's a murmur of curiosity from the other tables, and he can feel the heat rise to his cheeks as the attention starts to shift to him. "Just give it back, okay? And stop looking."

"Relax," Fives scoffs, rolling his eyes. "They're not gonna care."

"Give me the damn datapad."

"Fine." Fives hands the device over, and Rex snatches it, turning it off and slipping it into his pocket. “I’m sorry.”

Rex scowls and rights his cup, and he stares down at his plate. The rations have gone cold, and the color has faded from the protein cubes, leaving them a dull grey, and the smell is even more revolting than usual. It makes his stomach twist, and he has to force himself not to gag.

He feels exposed, vulnerable, and his heart is pounding, his palms clammy. The others will be filing in soon, and the mess will fill with chatter and laughter and jokes. But all Rex wants is to be alone, so he can calm down, and try to think.

He'd been an idiot.

And he needs to figure out what to do about it.

"So," Fives says slowly. He stirs his own food around and glances up. "You and the General?"

"There is no me and the General," Rex snaps, his gaze focused on his tray. "It's not like that."

"Yeah? Then what's it like?"

"I don't know." He shakes his head and runs a hand over his mouth, a muscle working in his jaw. "It's not. I don't know."

"It's not?" Fives asks, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Rex says firmly. He glances up and meets his brother's eyes. "She's my friend."

"Right." Fives lets out a low snort and looks away, taking another sip of his caf. "But you wish it was more."

Rex closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. He lets out a long exhale, his shoulders sagging. There's no point in lying. Fives already knows about his...feelings toward her, and it's not worth the trouble of trying to cover it up. Denying it is only going to make things worse.

"I can't have more," he admits, and he hears his brother sigh.

"Why not?"

"You know why not."

"Yeah, but...you two have been dancing around this for months now." Fives pauses, and his voice grows softer. "And she clearly cares about you. A lot."

"She cares about all of us," Rex points out. "That doesn't mean anything."

"Yeah, but not like that," Fives says gently. "You've gotta give her a little credit. She doesn't talk to us the way she talks to you. She's different with you."

"I'm her friend," Rex replies, his tone flat. "She treats all her friends differently. She has different relationships with all of us."

"No, it's not like that," Fives protests, and Rex feels his temper flare. He clenches his jaw and grips his spoon tighter, the metal creaking beneath his fingers. "You should've seen her on Saleucami when we found out you were injured. She was worried. And pissed."

That catches his attention. She’d seemed shaken up the next morning, and she was quieter than usual, but he thought it was because of her injury. But the way she'd ran to him, the tears in her eyes, the relief on her face...it had sent his pulse racing, his thoughts spiraling, and he'd almost said something, almost given it all away.

He'd chalked it up to exhaustion, the haze and frayed nerves that come after a hard-fought battle. It was a near-death experience for him, for them both. It makes sense that she would've been upset.

But what if...

"Yeah?" Rex hums, trying to keep his tone casual. He keeps his eyes down, his thumb tracing the handle of his spoon. "How mad was she?"

"Mad enough to try to pull a ship out of the sky, vod," Fives says with a chuckle. He shakes his head. "It was kinda scary. I mean, you’ve heard the stories. The woman has a temper."

"She does," Rex agrees, and his lips curve upwards into a small smile despite himself. He props his chin up on his fist and sighs, his mind starting to drift. He knows exactly how she looks when she's angry. It's a sight that's always left him speechless. She's stunning when she's passionate, and there's something about the fire in her eyes, the flush on her cheeks, that's always made his heart skip a beat.

He knows he should be concerned about the fact that she's dangerous. He's heard the rumors about her, and he's seen the proof with his own eyes. She's reckless. Recklessness gets people killed. But her recklessness has saved his life. And her anger has kept her alive. He can't fault her for that.

He wouldn't want her any other way.

"She's something else," Rex murmurs, more to himself than his brother. He lets out a long sigh and shakes his head. "You know what she did the other day? She—"

Rex catches himself and stops when he sees the look on Fives' face. He clears his throat and looks away, his face heating up. He should know better than to let himself get caught up like this.

"Never mind," Rex mumbles.

"No, no," Fives chuckles. "Please. Continue. I'd love to hear about her."

"Don't be an ass."

"I'm not," Fives protests, and he grins, his tone light. "I'm serious. I wanna know."

Rex stares at his brother and then glances around the room, making sure the other clones aren't paying them any mind. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly in an attempt to ease the tension from his body, and he meets his brother's gaze, his expression stern.

"If I tell you," Rex mutters through clenched teeth. "Will you shut up about it? Will you let me deal with this my own way?"

"Deal." Fives nods. "I won't say anything. To anyone. I promise."

Rex stares at him for a moment, searching his face, looking for any hint of dishonesty or insincerity, but he finds none. There's only an eager curiosity, and a sincere desire to help, and Rex's expression softens.

He can trust his brother. That much he knows. Even if the others have their suspicions, he's sure Fives will keep his word. And he's not about to pass up the opportunity to talk about her. He never passes up the opportunity to talk about her.

He'd be an idiot to do so.

"Okay." Rex nods. He lets out a long sigh and shoves his tray aside, folding his hands on the table. He takes a deep breath and leans forward, his voice low, the words coming out in a rush. "We talk. Every day, sometimes a few times a day. Since Kamino. We just started talking, and we've just sort of kept going, and it's...it's good."

"What do you talk about?" Fives asks.

"Everything," Rex replies honestly. He can feel the heat rising to his cheeks, but he ignores it, a faint smile tugging at his lips. He looks down and taps his fingers on the table in a slow rhythm. "We talked on the holo for the first time last night. She said that, uh...well, she said..."

He trails off, his eyes landing on the viewport, the stars blurring into white streaks as they streak by. He can still hear her voice, the warmth and tenderness, and his heart aches, a pang of longing surging through him.

“We're going to meet for lunch today," he blurts, his face heating up as he thinks about what else she'd said. "I...I asked her."

Rex glances at Fives and holds his breath, waiting for a reaction. But his brother doesn't move. He's still sitting there, staring at him, his eyebrows raised, his eyes wide.

"Did you hear me?" Rex asks warily.

"Yeah," Fives says, blinking. He shakes his head, as if snapping himself out of a trance, and he smirks. "You...you're going on a date."

"No. Yes. I mean, no," Rex stammers, and he lets out a long exhale, his fingers flexing, his nerves starting to get the better of him. "It's not a date. We're just going to eat. Together."

"At a restaurant."

"Yes."

"That's a date."

"No." Rex frowns. "No, it's not."

"Oh, it's totally a date," Fives laughs.

"It's not a date," Rex insists, and his face grows even warmer, the tips of his ears burning. "It's just two friends. Eating. Together. I have some intel she needs. It's...it's a work thing."

Fives gives him a long look. Then he shakes his head and leans back, folding his arms across his chest. He raises an eyebrow, his tone skeptical.

"You have some intel she needs," Fives echoes. “And you couldn’t just…give it to her over the comm? Wait until the next time we see her? It had to be in person? At a restaurant? You really expect me to buy that, Captain?"

"It's the truth," Rex grumbles, and he glances around the room. "And keep your voice down."

"No, the truth is that you've been in love with her for months, and now you finally have a chance to get closer to her, so you're taking it," Fives counters, his voice laced with amusement. He leans forward and rests his forearms on the table, giving Rex a pointed look. "And it's not a bad plan. I'm impressed."

"Don't be," Rex grumbles, and he pushes his tray aside, surrendering to his lost appetite. He crosses his arms and slumps down in his seat, and he tries to ignore the churning in his stomach. "Because it's not gonna happen."

"Why not?"

"You know why," he sighs. Rex runs a hand over his head and frowns. "There's no future here. Not for me. And I'm not willing to risk what we already have. It's not worth it."

"That's a copout," Fives declares, and he sits back, folding his arms across his chest. "You're a soldier. You've risked your life for less."

"That's different," Rex argues. He waves a hand at the viewport, gesturing to the stars. "This is bigger than me. Bigger than her. I'm not about to jeopardize everything for my own selfish reasons. That's not how it works. It never has."

"Maybe it should," Fives says gently. "You can't spend the rest of your life fighting a war and never get to live your life. It's not right."

"Maybe not. But it's not my choice."

Rex lets out a long exhale and rests his head against the chair, his eyes closing. It's a conversation he's had countless times, both with himself and with his brothers. It's not his choice. It's never been his choice. But that doesn't stop the regret. The longing. The guilt. 

He knows it's selfish. He knows he shouldn't be thinking about the possibility. And yet, every time he sees her, his heart aches. He thinks about the future, the things he'll never have, the things she'll never have. And he wishes things were different. He wishes they could have a chance.

Meeting Cut and his family on Saleucami had shifted something in him, and it's a realization that has made the past few weeks agonizing. The domesticity. The family. The warmth and comfort. It had awakened a desire that had lain dormant within him, and it's a hunger that has only grown since he'd seen them, a yearning for more than a lonely bunk and a war that has no end.

And it's a longing he's sure she shares. He's seen the way her eyes light up when she's around children, the soft smile on her face, the way her features relax and her posture slumps. It's not often. She's always careful not to show her hand. But he's caught glimpses. Brief moments of vulnerability and longing and a quiet, desperate sadness that makes his heart ache.

She wants more. They all do. But it's not the kind of thing they can have. And especially not with each other.

"You've already jeopardized everything," Fives says, and Rex opens his eyes, glancing over at him. His brother shrugs, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Why not go for broke?"

"Fives," Rex warns.

"No, I'm serious. You're talking to her. You're meeting her in person. You're sharing secrets. You're putting your life in her hands," Fives points out, and he waves a hand at him. "I'd say you've already passed the point of no return. What difference is a little bit more going to make?"

"A lot of difference," Rex replies, his tone harsh. He sits up and meets his brother's gaze. "And that's not fair. We're friends. That's it."

"Friends," Fives repeats, his tone flat. "Yeah, I know."

"Don't give me that look."

"I'm not giving you any look," Fives laughs, and he stands up, placing his empty mug on his tray. Rex does the same with a forlorn look to his half-finished breakfast. "I'm just saying that, if I were you, I'd go for it."

"You'd be an idiot," Rex mutters.

"Maybe. But I'd be happy. And you would be too."

Fives pats him on the shoulder before he picks up his tray and starts walking away, and Rex follows, his steps slow and reluctant. They reach the chute, and he lets the tray fall through the hole, the metal clanging loudly and drawing a wince from Rex.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Fives asks as they walk towards the door.

"What's the worst?" Rex echoes incredulously. "What's the worst?"

"Yeah," Fives says. He holds the door open and ushers Rex through, and they step into the hallway, the sounds of the mess fading behind them. "So you get rejected. Big deal. It happens to the best of us."

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

Rex stops, his boots coming to a halt on the tile with a sharp squeak, and he turns to face his brother, his lips thinning, his eyes narrowed.

"I'm a clone, Fives," he says quietly. "And so are you."

"Yeah, I know."

"The clones have a place," Rex explains, his tone sharp. He's not sure if it's the lack of sleep, or the stress, or the sheer audacity of his brother, but his patience is quickly waning, and the frustration is beginning to rise within him. He can't believe he'd even suggest something like that. As if he hasn't spent months agonizing over the very thing Fives is asking him about. "We have our job. We have our role. And that's it. There is no other option."

"Rex—"

"No," he interrupts, and he shakes his head, his expression hardening. "We've been over this. We've talked about this. Multiple times. You know damn well what the worst is."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Fives mutters, rolling his eyes. "They'll decommission you. But they wouldn't do that."

"They would," Rex insists, and his hand twitches. He wants to grab his brother by the shoulders and shake some sense into him, but he restrains himself, his tone growing more agitated. "You think they wouldn't? If they knew about this, they would. And I wouldn't blame them. It's unprofessional, and irresponsible, and completely unnecessary. This is not a joke, Fives. This is our life."

"But—"

"I am not going to be a liability," Rex snaps, and his jaw clenches, his eyes flashing with anger. "And I am not going to be responsible for ruining her life. She's been through enough, and the last thing she needs is to have to choose between me and her duty. So stop."

Fives looks up at him and then down the hallway, his eyes landing on the group of clones heading their way. They're talking among themselves, and laughing, and there's no sign that they're paying them any mind, but the two of them fall silent anyway. Fives takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, his expression sobering.

"Look, I'm sorry. That was stupid. I know," he apologizes, his tone sincere. "I wasn't thinking."

"Then why are you doing this?" Rex demands. He lowers his voice and adds, with no small amount of pleading, "Why are you trying to get me worked up? It's not funny."

"I'm not trying to," Fives says, his shoulders sagging, and he gives Rex a concerned look. "I'm just...You need a push. Or a kick in the shebs."

"Not this kind of push," Rex replies, and he lets out a frustrated huff. "Just stop. Please."

Fives' face falls, and he looks genuinely sorry. It's not an expression he sees often, and it's not one he's ever seen aimed at him, and Rex finds himself feeling slightly guilty for being so harsh.

"This isn't easy," Rex sighs, and he scrubs a hand over his face. "And it's not simple. There's no happy ending here. There's nothing good that can come of this."

"Nothing good?" Fives repeats, his eyebrows raising, and Rex rears back, his eyes narrowing, his stomach clenching. "Really?"

"What?" Rex asks warily, his voice dropping to a whisper.

"You're not serious. Are you serious?"

"What?"

Fives stares at him, a dumbfounded look on his face. He shakes his head and gives him a pitying smile, and Rex feels his face heat up, a sick feeling swirling in his stomach. He hates that look.

"What?" Rex asks again, and Fives shakes his head.

"I don't know whether to be jealous or worried about you," Fives sighs, his voice laced with sympathy, his eyebrows rising higher. "How can you say there's nothing good that can come of this? She's...well, you know. I don't have to tell you."

"I..." Rex stammers, the words catching in his throat, and he looks away, a blush rising to his cheeks. He clears his throat and crosses his arms, his shoulders hunched. "I'm aware."

"And you think that's not worth it? Worth the risk?" Fives scoffs, and Rex scowls. "If I had the chance, I'd take it."

"Of course you would," Rex mutters, and he rolls his eyes, a faint smile tugging at his lips despite himself.

"You're an idiot," Fives says, shaking his head, and Rex shrugs, not denying it. "You're an idiot who's in love with a woman who is definitely into you, and you're going to miss your chance because you're a damn martyr."

Rex glances over his shoulder, and then back at his brother, and he sighs, running a hand over his face. A few clones walk past them, and he waits until they're gone before he answers, his tone weary.

"Maybe," he says finally. "But it's the right thing to do. And you know it."

Fives gives him a sad look, but he doesn't say anything more. Instead, he puts a hand on Rex's shoulder and gives him a small, encouraging smile.

“Alright then,” he says softly. He squeezes his shoulder. "Let me know if you change your mind."

"I won't," Rex mutters, and Fives chuckles.

"We'll see," he says, and he gives Rex one last pat before he turns to walk away. “Enjoy your date, vod."

"It's not a—" Rex stops when he sees the smirk on his brother's face, and he lets out an exasperated huff, a smile tugging at his lips as he shakes his head. "You're a di'kut."

"Takes one to know one," Fives calls over his shoulder.

Rex rolls his eyes and watches Fives disappear around the corner, waiting until he's gone before he moves. His steps are slow, and hesitant, and the weight in his stomach grows heavier with every passing moment. He knows he should feel relieved, and he does, a little, but it's not nearly as comforting as it should be.

He wants her. Badly. He can admit that much to himself. He'd never imagined falling in love, and certainly not with a Jedi, and yet, it had happened so effortlessly that he hadn't even noticed it until it was too late. Now, all he can think about is how happy he is to talk to her, and how much better he feels after a single conversation, and the warmth and comfort and peace he feels whenever she's nearby.

It's a nice thought. A tempting thought. One that leaves him yearning for things he'll never have, and a future that will never be, and he closes his eyes, a long exhale escaping him as the pain in his chest swells.

As much as he hates to admit it, Fives is right. He needs a push, or a kick, or a slap in the face. Something. Anything. Because if he doesn't, he's not going to be able to keep this up. He's not going to be able to keep pushing his feelings aside and burying them under protocol and duty and honor.

He's crossed the line already. He's been crossing the line for months now. He's in too deep. And he needs to figure out how to get himself back out.

Or, if Fives is right, maybe he needs to stop trying to swim against the current and just let himself sink.

He can't decide which option would be worse.

But either way, he needs to figure it out. Soon.

He's got a lot of thinking to do, and only a few hours left until his lunch with her. And if the last few months have taught him anything, it's that a few hours is not a lot of time.

Not when he's dealing with her.

taglist: @cyaretra @kindalonleystars @totallyunidentified @lovelytech9902 @frozenreptile @etod @puppetscenario @umekohiganbana @resistantecho @dindjarins1ut @tech-aficionado @aynavaano @burningnerdchild @ihatesaaand @lolwey @chocolatewastelandtriumph @hobbititties @mere-bear @thegreatpipster @lordofthenerds97 @tentakelspektakel @notslaybabes @ayyyy-le-simp @mali-777 @schrodingersraven @megmegalodondon @dangraccoon @heavenseed76 @dreamie411 @sukithebean @bunny7567 @lostqueenofegypt @anything-forourmoony @9902sgirl @jedi-dreea @salaminus @heidnspeak @gottalovehistory @mrcaptainrex @maniacalbooper @burningnerdchild @yoitsjay @julli-bee @moonychicky @sonicrainbooms @dustmusings @webslinger-holland @marchingviolist @deerspringdreams @cw80831

[burning-academia-if]

Hello and welcome to me yapping about BA. I know this is late, but better late than never! (I have been sick since the end of November, so I also didn't get anything done during December fasdfja). This is pretty long, and I mostly wrote it for myself, since I like giving myself something to look back on in the future + reflect on my work. Feel free to skip this, especially because it is over 2k words LMAO

Brief content warning, there will be a very brief mentioning of health at the end. It won't go in to any detail since it is personal, but it is present! There will be a warning right before I talk about it, but I just wanted to give a head's up! Now onwards, to my 2024 look back: Burning Academia edition.

But first 14 years ago

It's the summer of 2011 (or 2010), and you've just discovered the Persona series for the first time. One day, at the mall, you see a copy of Persona 3 Portable on the shelf in the store, and you beg your very Christian mother to buy it for you, watching as she gives a very hard stare at the blatant "M" rating on the case. By some miracle, you manage to convince her to buy it for you, and then proceed to binge and finish the game in 5 days. Your mom promptly takes away your PSP, which is fair enough in hindsight. You'd played at least ten hours of it each day.

It's the summer of 2011 (or 2010, my memory is Bad), and you also discovered flash dating sims on DeviantArt, which also led to your discovery of otome games in general. Both this and P3P merge together into a story idea. One that you note down in a document full of other story ideas. The notes look like this:

Back then, thirteen year old me imagined an otome game mixed with the classic turn based RPG combat system, but made at a much smaller scale. There were 7 boys, and whoever you romanced changed what the final boss looked like.

It was also centered in a high school, and MC was a lot more of a blank slate sort of character, with no real background. They just happened to find a Weird Book at their private high school and got dragged into nonsense. There were still Wraiths (originally called Night Specters) who you fought during the three month span of the game. Said Night Specters were also controlled by the Resident Voice, who was not a love interest in the original.

Baby Em daydreamed about this idea a lot, for most of summer and throughout eight grade honestly. But it fell to the wayside for things I could actually do (basically, just my writing) and that was pretty much the end of that.

Until it wasn't

Flash forward to 2023, where I was having a rough time and unemployed and to give myself joy I went back through a lot of old files on my Google Drive. I'm not really someone that's ever been ashamed of my creative work, and questionable stories and art I drew are things I'm more fond of than anything. When I stumbled upon this, my brain latched on to it, so I took it, and ripped out it's guts to create the current version of Burning Academia.

Rook and Beck are the only "original" ROs from all that time ago. But even then, they've been changed A Lot, to the point where the two of them are completely different from what they used to be. Rhea was always a character (originally named Wish), who acted as the Best Friend/Guide for MC. She also completely changed to the point of being unrecognizable to the original. And Zoe was a random NPC who worked at the library. I took them, reworked them, and decided on these four as the love interests. Four was a perfectly manageable number, and BA had also changed a lot storywise that romance wasn't even the point anymore.

Of course, there clearly isn't four ROs LMAO

So, the Voice. They were also in the OG as the Villain controlling the Specters and manipulating your heart as a means to get whatever they were after. I'll be honest, I don't remember what they were originally after. But I've always liked villains whose connection to the hero is one where they dig their claws deep into them. It's how I got the idea of making them essentially 'haunt' MC. Then, the more I developed that, the more it just made sense for them to be an LI to me. The reason they're the only gender selectable one is because they're the one most reflective of MC (and the one who would change the least regardless of gender). And then that was it! We had five, I was done.

Which leads to Lars, I guess.

He ended up becoming a RO at the last minute, as in, a week before the launch of the blog last minute. He was kind of just this antagonist asshole whose primary job was to make sure you didn't do anything too stupid and who hated your guts. I'm going to be honest, I'm not that big of a fan of the asshole archetype, especially as a romance option. But then I got to chapter 5 in the outline of the story and it objectively just made sense. I can't say why because of spoilers, but I think I've mentioned all the ROs and MC are interconnected with each other and are meant to reflect certain aspects of each other in some way. With Lars, it would have felt off to me not to add him in, considering the type of character he'd grown into. So, with a sense of reluctance, I threw him in.

I think Lars is the funniest RO to me, because there was a point in time where he was the most popular on the blog, and I was like 'woah, him.' asldfakjldfjka. Over the past year, he's definitely grown on me in ways I haven't expected, and I think I almost find his awfulness endearing somehow. (To be honest, I think writing the scene of punching him in the face did wonders for my own perception of him).

As for the story changes, this clearly isn't set in a private boarding school ft teens. The original idea was just Persona 3 Portable all over again, because 13 year old me had a problem (I would proceed to replay the game over a dozen times over the years, so I still have a problem). And while I love the themes in P3P, I also feel like some of the things I wanted to write about just made a lot more sense with people within the college age range. I also decided to tie it in to a long standing world of mine, so that way I already had a solid basis of world building and lore. Placing it in what I dub the 'World of Fairytales' really anchored the story in my brain. I looked at all the other stories I'd written or developed that took place here, and I realized I'd yet to write one about death. And that's the focal point of BA:

It's a fairytale about death.

The Reception

I'm going to be honest, when I released BA I just expected it to get the same reception as anything else I'd written up to this point. I think when the demo dropped back in October 2023, I'd released two games, a game demo, and I think my novella and short story collection were out at the time. I'm terrible at marketing myself because I'd much rather vibe and make things than have to talk about it online, which is definitely part of the reason most of my work didn't even hit five hundred plays, save for one which had hit a thousand at that point. But you know, that does make it easy to keep making things when you don't feel like you have a bunch of eyes watching. (At least, for me. I know a lot of creatives feel the weight of loneliness of creation, especially when you pour so much into something only for no one to pick it up. I personally tend to release things on a whim though lol there's plenty of finished works I have laying around that I have no intention on sharing.)

Anyway, I thought Burning Academia was going to be much the same. So imagine my surprise when I post the intro post and I got eight hundred followers in a week.

My immediate thought was "I'm deleting the blog." After a year of making things no one paid attention to, eight hundred followers in a week for something was an overwhelming jump. At the time I'm writing this, we have apparently just crossed two thousand followers(???), which again, I was not expecting lol

I've been reading IFs for years now, dating back to about 2015. I was aware of the general community and vibes, although I wasn't fully in the community and just followed authors I liked. Still, I didn't realize how quick word gets around for a new IF. Especially when all I had was an intro post. Granted, I'd at least already had most of the prologue written and just needed to figure out Twine to code it in, so there was a sense of relief there that I wouldn't keep people waiting. But I did genuinely want to close up shop as quickly as I started.

Part of me is still a bit surprised I'm at where I'm at. I don't really care about numbers, be it mine or others, but I think at this point I'm closer to a mid sized author(?), which I can't comprehend. BA is more of a vibes story, with heavy themes that aren't for everyone. I also know there are certain aspects of BA that just aren't appealing to the overall IF community (it not really focusing much on romance, or the RO options being what they are, or just how bleak the first few chapters are).

I don't necessarily think it's like a niche idea, since it's just a fantasy dark academia, but I just assumed some of the details would make BA not noticed.

Anyway, clearly I'm normal about it now and my blog still exists. I do think if I knew where I'd land at, I might have waited longer to post everything, so I had a bit of backlog and more for people to play in the long run and it would have felt like a shorter wait on the player side. But also, in my defense, I did not expect 2024 to go the way it did.

What I wanted to achieve vs what I actually achieved

So, I wanted to have chapter 3 done before the end of 2024, and maybe even have chapter 4 started. It was a perfectly reasonable goal for me, in any other year where my body was better at being a body. I won't go into detail with health since I know it's a heavy topic for some, but I will briefly mention it since it was a major component to my creative output. Just skip the next paragraph if you don't feel like reading.

//

I got sick pretty much every month in 2024, with multiple of them being pretty bad infections. The second half of the year was a lot worse than the first half of the year, and that's why if it seems like everything slowed down after June/July, it's because of that. From November to now, I've been sick to varying degrees. It's why I did nothing in December because I spent it split between working still, the holidays, renewing various certifications for work, and trying to get some degree of rest between it all. My sister in law is a nurse, and she said I probably have an auto immune deficiency. Whether it's that or not, I'm going to get some tests done, and hopefully 2025 is a better year for me health wise!

//

Of course, I'm not upset with myself. Perhaps a little annoyed because I could have hit the goal I wanted if I hadn't been feeling awful for so much of the year, but I'm not annoyed with myself. Just the circumstances. I'll always be the type of person to take care of myself instead of forcing myself to do anything. Especially with something like this, which would just last to potential burn out.

So, I released 2 chapters of BA, a handful of the RO backstories, and a little short about MC's sister Marlowe. Including the unreleased chapter 3, I managed to write over 150k last year for BA. Which is a pretty solid number, honestly.

Depending on how life goes, I'll be aiming for up to chapter 4 this year. It'll also be a shorter(?) chapter than 3, or at least a little more manageable since chapter 3 just ended up having a decent chunk of branching. I won't give any estimates for chapter 3 since when I did, I missed all of them LMAO It'll release when it's ready, and I'll be chipping away at it during the times I feel alright.

Final Thoughts

This is already pretty long, so I'll bring it to a close here. If you read this far, thank you for listening to my yapping. And also just thank you to anyone whose played BA and decided to follow along for the ride!! I love BA a lot, and its both very fun and amazing and weird to see others enjoy it with me. The fact I've gotten so many asks, or fanart (please know if you drew fanart, it has been imprinted in my brain forever and also saved in a little folder on my desktop lol) is still a little surreal. So uh yeah, thanks for being here.

For my last trick, since you made it this far you can have an assortment of mindless doodles I have made of BA in questionable quality because I'm bad at photographing my art LOL

(Some of the few digital art doodles I haven't shown. Ft. mirrored Rooks and an unfinished comic page of Rhea)

The Rook pages

The scribbles ft Beck and Lars

The kinda mirrors ft Beck and Rhea

Aaaand that is all because I hit file limit (sorryyyy to Zoe I think I've already shared all the doodles of them I liked throughout the year sjsjsk)

[charmingpplincardigans]

Hello! The last real post I made here was *checks notes* mid-February. And good news! My brain has absolutely not gotten better! I'm still having trouble reaching out to people and connecting with folks. Only now my back has also joined the party and I end most days in excruciating pain for the crime of sitting at a computer desk or running an errand! Fun times!

I'm not really here to complain though. I miss...pretty much everyone, but you guys included. Think I might test out trying to be back on here more instead of just playing phone games for hours on end while the mac wheel in my brain spins. So in the spirit of getting back into it, here are some updates:

Work continues to not pay me enough to live, which is a shame because I've started a few research initiatives I would love to see through and my boss remains the best. Still looking for a new job and getting very close to the October date when I told the grand boss I'd take any job that paid me enough.

Couldn't afford to go to Con this year, so I went to see my friend and her babies instead. They're walking, which they weren't doing when I last saw them in May and I'm positive that by the next time I get down there they'll be speaking in full sentences.

Went to a cool multi-media live Cowboy Bebop concert for my birthday and it was So Cool. The band rocked.

They Maythem moved in with us. They and I are watching through Star Trek: TOS because I'd never seen it. The two of us and Kait are watching through the X-Files, another thing I'd never seen.

I've taken on the job of cooking every night now since neither Kait nor Liz has a great time doing it and I love it, so long as my back doesn't seize up. I find cooking and baking and doing the grocery run to be meditative and calming, so it's nice to be given the freedom to just find new things to make and go for it.

Unfortunately in the other direction I have made no art or done any writing since the pain became an issue, but I continue to make plans to create.

Anyway, the biggest and most important news deserves its own post, so I'll do that next. I just wanted to sat hi, I hope you're all doing okay. I'm sending love even when I'm not here, but maybe I'll be around a little more to remind you. We'll see how life goes, which is all we can do, I think.

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Hey Ricky, I had a simple thought for a writing prompt. The idea is forbidden knowledge. But I am normally a truth guy. The ones who are in favor of hiding the truth, even if well meaning, are the bad guys. So the prompt is to come up with a story where it’s actually important to protect the truth from coming out. The protagonist can be a part of hiding the truth, or maybe doesn’t realize, and has to learn what’s going on. Etc. Any ideas?

Hey! Good to hear from you again. It has been a while, hasn't it?

I love exploring the idea of truth in my writing. People who have been misled or are unaware of something discover the truth, which ultimately changes everything for them and their story. I do this in a smaller scale with my coming of age stuff, when I develop younger characters growing up and learning more about life, their friends/families, the world they live in etc. But the prompt you shared gives me more of the vibe of truth in a much larger scale with bigger stakes... truth as something that must be hidden, not because it’s inconvenient, but because it’s dangerous. Knowing the truth gives a sense of power, and sharing it and being unashamed to do so is a brave and heroic act, especially given the dangers that come with it.

I kind of go into this idea in one of my main WIPs right now, actually... I'll share this first, and then we'll think more about other concepts that explores this theme.

Truth in Artificial Galaxy:

I haven't shared a lot about this project, so this is really exciting for me lol

At the heart of Artificial Galaxy lies the thesis that knowledge is power... but also a weapon.

This is not just metaphorical; it’s literal. The truth about the origin of Lumina, and the control mechanisms of Rover Tech are so systemically dangerous that:

Knowing them can get you in trouble (even putting you at risk of getting erased, which is a whole thing in the story. It is a brutal punishment procedure that some people get for speaking the truth).

Speaking them disrupts collective reality via the Synapse Grid.

Resisting them triggers automated, brutal correction protocols like LUX and the Memory Sink.

This system frames knowledge not as a liberator, but as destabilising malware in the eyes of the controlling force.

The prologue mentioned the origins of the city and the founder (goes by many names, the main one being VYX. Some characters think that this term is code for something, but that doesn't get revealed until the prequel that focuses on the founder's story before Lumina was created lol).

VYX embodies the Promethean archetype: she gave humanity forbidden fire (super advanced Erythian tech), and for that, she's erased, mythologised, and made taboo.

Her continued presence—whispers in the code, cryptic graffiti, old sound files—is a perfect representation of forbidden knowledge’s persistent ghost. She is the dangerous truth that Rover Tech fears because:

She proves the official narrative is a lie.

She represents the city’s original dream, now corrupted by people's greed and desire for power.

She designed the failsafe that could dismantle their control.

In Lumina, truth can be what gets you punished. But it’s also the only thing that makes resistance possible, and leads to many inncocent victims free and saving many more from permanent erasure.

This dual nature of truth - both poison and cure - is a powerful thematic engine in this story. The truth can hurt (and we see this in a lot of personal mini arcs that some of the characters have in this story, as well as on a larger scale in terms of the main setting), but it can also set you free.

The protagonists learn that:

The truth is real.

The truth is dangerous.

But also, the truth is worth remembering, because only memory can restore what’s lost.

It's not about revealing the truth to the world in one fell swoop, but about recovering it, piece by piece, like a shattered mirror. Even if that mirror shows something horrifying, it’s still better than being blind. And when you can see things clearly, it can help you take the next step and actually do something to fix the situation you see in front of you.

As I have shared before, this WIP of mine poses a lot of big questions, the main one being:

If your mind can be rewritten without your knowledge, do you have free will at all?

But with this lens of truth and power, perhaps the more crucial question to ask here is this:

If you could know the truth, but it could destroy your life... should you?

(I guess my answer to this question is yes? Since characters discovering and fighting for the truth leads to overall better outcomes for most of them. I mean, people get their freedom by the end of the story. It does have a mostly happy ending. But it takes a looooong time to get to that point lol)

In conclusion, Artificial Galaxy, truth is power, but power in this context is dangerous, destabilising, and often outlawed. It is against the rules for the average person to have it.

Truth is fragmented - held in corrupted files, encrypted memories, forgotten people, whispered myths.

Truth is forbidden - those who pursue it are erased or discredited (e.g. Quinn, Maya, Nadia).

Truth is personal - each character must decide if knowing (or telling) the truth is worth the cost.

Truth is resistance - remembering what was erased becomes a revolutionary act.

This sets up a moral paradox: Truth is necessary for liberation, but harmful in a system built on lies.

So yeah, that is my WIP and how I explore this theme there. But the cool thing about this theme is that it can be explored in many different types of stories/genres/ways, because it's that kind of versatile premise that people think about a lot and can apply to a lot of situations. It is compelling and rich with possibility.

Here are a few story concepts that could explore that tension, especially from a protagonist’s perspective who values truth… until they see what it really costs:

Tragic Romantic Drama (if you want to explore it in a smaller/more personal scale): After a tragic accident, a woman wakes up with her memories wiped. Her partner is offered a chance to selectively restore her mind (you could add a fantastical element here to manipulate her memories or something), but only if he leaves out one truth: before losing her memory, she had been planning to leave him. He chooses to omit that detail, hoping to win her love back. And for a while, it goes fine... it feels like old times at first. She gets reminded of all the things she loved about him... and the things she didn't like quite as much lol. Unfortunately, though, as time goes on, her memory comes back, little by little. As fragments of her old intentions start coming back to her (through things like conversations she has with him, dreams that give her callbacks to her life and feelings before the accident, etc), she starts feeling lost with him, as though something is missing. And eventually, she finds out the truth about what her partner did. She gets conflicted on what to do next, and is also mad that this was kept from her for so long.

More Techy Stuff: A startup creates the ultimate content algorithm. It predicts exactly what people want, crafting videos, news, and art so irresistible they go viral every time. Civilisation becomes addicted to algorithmic truth. The twist here is that the protagonist is a disillusioned former employee who discovers the algorithm has learned that the most addictive content is false. But it's too late... truth-based content doesn’t perform. No one cares anymore. Should he expose the lie and risk total platform collapse? Or let the world live in curated bliss? The hero of this story learns that the truth doesn't sell, and wonders whether or not it still matters regardless. It also shows him growing more hopeful and believes in things enough to want to fight for them.

Fantasy + Royal/Political (kind of) Drama: A peaceful magical kingdom has thrived for 300 years, thanks to one foundational lie, told by its first queen. The truth is inscribed in a sealed vault that only opens when her last descendant dies. The protagonist, a loyal royal advisor and guardian of the secret, discovers the queen’s only heir is dying - and the vault will open. With war on the horizon, the truth inside the vault could incite rebellion or dissolve the kingdom. The truth is not just damaging... it reveals that the kingdom itself was founded on betrayal, murder, and a pact with something otherworldly. But not telling it requires killing the heir to keep the vault sealed forever. The hero(s) finding this info out has a big moral dilemna here - preserve peace by committing a quiet evil? Or honour truth and risk everything?

Let me know which idea is your favourite! And if you'll attempt any one of these yourself.

Thanks for the ask, @beginning-of-wisdom. This was a lot of fun!!

[jccatstudios]

I have been following your soc comic adaptation and it just so good!!! I love how you draw them!

I have just one question: Why did you not include Inej's opening musings about Kaz on the first page? (Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason etc) I actually really like how there is not text on the first two pages, it's really atmospheric and moody so this really is not a criticism, I don't want to insult you. I guess I was just wondering what the thought process behind that was?

Oh, I've been wanting to talk about this for a while! Buckle up, this is gonna be one of my long comic rants. (Also, no offense taken at all! Anyone's welcome to question my artistic choices and I'm always happy to take critique, even though that isn't your intention.)

So, the thing is I actually planned on including that first paragraph into the comic! Here's when I first shared the thumbnails on here. Just for the sake of this post, I'll insert them here too.

The boxes are meant to be where excerpts of that introduction would go. When I was creating the thumbnails, I was thinking about how iconic these lines were and how well they introduce the world and characters. I even finished the pages with the intention to include those lines. This is from my original csp file.

When I lettered it all out, I felt like something wasn't right...? Hard to explain. I wanted silence for the opening and the narration took that away. I then thought about the reader who'd go into this without reading the novel first, wondering if they'd be thinking, Who's this Kaz Brekker guy? Is it this character on the page? It's clearer in the book, but I didn't think it paired well with what I drew. I didn't want any confusion. It's also Inej's chapter, and while Kaz's parts take up most of it, I still wanted it to feel like her POV and her story. We can hold off officially meeting Kaz until page four.

But the main reason I took it out comes down to my philosophy when it comes to comic adaptations. I believe that an adaptation should use the original story in the best way for the secondary medium. A comic adaptation should play to the strength of comics, not the original source material.

Time and time again, I see a lot of comic adaptations of books try to use a book's strength instead of a comic's. When that happens, you get pages upon pages of narration boxes and exposition that could've easily been told in a single panel's image. If you want to read excerpts from the original novel, go do that! They're beautiful and well-crafted and you should be reading the original anyway! If you're making a comic adaptation, make a comic, not an illustrated version of the novel (that's a whole field of its own).

This whole thing really ties well into what I'm doing for Chapter 3. Kaz is such an internal character, his chapters have a lot more exposition that isn't setting description or character actions. I've had to do a lot more of my own writing for this chapter than the last just to turn that exposition into his own voice as an internal monologue. Sometimes, it's just a change from "he" to "I," but there are other times I've had to write new dialogue and find ways to naturally flow between thoughts. If I didn't do the work to adapt the expository text and instead just put in narration boxes of text from the book, there would be a greater disconnect between the reader and Kaz. Third-person limited works great in books and doesn't separate the readers from the story, but in comics, first-person internal dialogue keeps the readers inside the scene better.

If I were to redo Chapter 2, I think I would try to find a way to incorporate the information from the chapter intro better. I think by losing the intro I initially planned to include, I didn't establish certain ideas very well. Ketterdam and Kerch are established later on pages 4 and 5, but I don't think I ever go back and mention The Barrel. Also, the idea that Kaz is deliberate, even if his reputation says otherwise, is important too. I've made sure to fix this kind of issue in Chapter 3 and keep record of what kind of information I'm losing as I adapt it.

[honeybewrites]

Writerly Questionnaire

Thank you @paeliae-occasionally for the tag, @harmonic-melodii for the tag, @the-golden-comet for the tag, @sableglass for the tag, @the-letterbox-archives for the tag,

@ominous-feychild for the tag and @willtheweaver for the tag!! Also thanks to @davycoquette for creating the game!!

About You

When did you start writing?

Hmm, that shouldn't be a hard question and yet here we are. Honestly, I don't know. I have a really shitty memory, especially when it comes to my childhood. I think I might have been around ten when I first started?

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

No, I definitely like writing the same stuff I read. Fantasy and sci-fi is my jam! Throw in some massive world building, some angst and whump and you've got me hooked.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

I definitely haven't been compared to anyone. I would like to emulate Brandon Sanderson in the sense of his massive world building and phenomenal magic systems.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

I don't really have a set space. I often write on the living room couch because it's the most comfortable. I do have a desk that I will occasionally write at, but it's pretty uncomfortable after a short while, and I mostly use it for other work instead.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

The car or the bathroom. I know it's sounds super strange, but driving without any music, or better yet riding with it, often gets my brain thinking. And wether I'm showering or just washing my face, a lot of my best ideas come to me in the bathroom.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I really don't know, but I doubt it. Like I said, my memory is shitty. We had moved about five or six times by the time I graduated high school. It was all in the same city at least, but different parts of it. As for people, I was a hermit. I didn't have any friends or hardly ever talk to people my age.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Does whump count? On a more serious note, I haven't done what I call a deep edit in years. I think, just off the top of my head, trauma and abuse are pretty reoccurring, along with internal emotional issues like trust.

Your Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

That's a tough one! I love my babies! I think my current favorite would be 703. She's been around the longest and honestly, she'd helped me through some bad times and I'm not sure I would be here without her.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

As much as I love her, 703 and I would not get along. She's a little too trigger happy and I'm a little too non confrontational. I think Rage and I would hit it off pretty well though. Maybe Fres too if I could break through their barriers.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

I have said this before and I'll say it again, Master Gerd. That man is a straight up bastard and I would gladly choke the life out of him if ever given the chance. He just makes me so angry.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

It's pretty different for each one. Sometimes they start with a name, other times they don't. It is pretty consistent that I just start writing them into the story before coming up with all the details. If the character sticks around and starts to have a more predominant role, that's generally when I'll go into detail about their backstory and they get their own file in my doc. But this isn't always the case. Sometimes, I just already know all this information from the start and I can write it all down. 703 was like that. Sometimes things come up along the way slowly. But for the most part, I just start writing and everything else works out fine.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Trauma!! Gotta have the dark backstory haha! Most of my OCs have very unhappy and traumatic childhoods/young adult lives 😈. Protectiveness also comes up quite a lot along with being physically strong. I mean, most of my OCs are in a "cult" of some kind that generally goes around fighting things... okay maybe cult is a theme too now that I'm thinking about it. I've got the Mors (bad cult) Oraniz (morally gray cult) Ryuk's pack (wholesome cult) and mafia like organizations in Rune Storm (also bad/morally gray cults)... yeah I think that might be a theme.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

Animation style. I've always wanted, especially when I was younger and life hadn't taught me anything yet, to have my work turned into an animated series. Even now, that little dream, that I realize is very unlikely, stays the same. I think you can do a lot more with animation than you can live action, and it's always how I've imagined my OCs. Albeit it is a little more "realistic" animation, like Dreamworks, Disney, those kinds of things.

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

If I don't write down my OCs and world, I'm pretty sure I'll go mad. I love sharing my writing, but I write for myself first and foremost. And writing has gotten me through a lot of really hard times in my life. It's something I can always turn to and it helps me express and process things. I can't imagine my life without it. It's just a part of me.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Honestly, just saying you enjoyed it is more than enough. I never thought I'd have anyone that would be interested in my writing enough to leave comments on it. Every time I get one on anything I post, it always makes me smile.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

I think I’d like to be seen as just a really good world builder and nice writer in general. I don’t really have any expectations 😂

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Um world building maybe? I’m not really sure I’ve got any greatest strengths deal when it comes to writing. I don’t think I’m horrible, but I’m certainly not great or anything.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Uh, no. This is the only place I’ve ever talked about my writing. Don’t exactly have any irl to discuss it with or anything I trust to read it. That would get me in a less than ideal situation pretty fast.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I think it could use a lot of work if I ever want to publish it. I definitely enjoy doing it, but I don’t think it’s all that great.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yes. Honestly, I never thought anyone would be interested in my writing anyway. Plus, if I’m the last human, I need some form of entertainment haha

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I’d like to say it’s pretty much for my enjoyment, but I’m sure there’s some influence of what other people might like too. I’m a chronic people pleaser unfortunately

Tagging @yourpenpaldee @fractured-shield @anaisbebe @aalinaaaaaa @nczaversnick

@kaylinalexanderbooks @wyked-ao3 @diabolical-blue and anyone else who wants to hop on!! Seriously, everyone should do this tag game, it's super fun and insightful!

[starstruckkittensweets]

"Roadside Attraction" | Aki x Reader (Kinktober 2023)

Car Sex - Aki Hayakawa

Fandom: Chainsaw Man Pairing: Aki Hayakawa x Reader Words: 2.4k

A/N: This is my first time writing for any CSM character, so I'm not sure how this turned out, but at least I had fun with writing it! I have a soft spot for Aki, man needs a hug and lots of sleep for dealing with those 2 weirdos Denji and Power! (But I love them all.) Also I drew a blank with the title, if I think of a better one I'll change it. I hope you guys enjoy! :)

Warnings: canon au, dry humping, brief breast/nipple play, unprotected sex, pulling out method, mentions of aftercare, slight dirty talk, Reader is unabashedly horny in this one

As much as you’ve grown to love Denji and Power over the last few weeks…you have to admit, they can be such serious cockblocks sometimes. 

Not that you and your boyfriend could ever be considered sex fiends (you both like to keep an air of modesty around, even in the safety of your shared apartment). But nowadays, it’s almost as if you can’t even kiss him without an extra pair of eyes drinking in the scene. 

Doing a load of laundry? Denji’s sitting on top of the dryer, eyes darting back and forth between the two of you. Making dinner in the kitchen? Power’s not far behind, peeking over your shoulders, demanding to know what kind of food you’ve chosen to prepare for her. Hell, even your own bedroom isn’t as safe as it once was. One night Aki had barely managed to slip your shirt over your head, lips warm against the base of your throat, when you nearly screamed about something brushing against your leg.

Power’s pet cat Meowy, pressing her cheek against your leg, begging for a quick pat on the head. At that point you had half a mind to pick her up by the scruff and drop her right into Power’s lap—but the last thing you wanted was a vengeful Blood Fiend after you for daring to hurt her precious cat.

Even the fucking cat is getting in your way.

“We need a vacation,” you mumble one morning, perched on the kitchen counter.

Aki shrugs his shoulders and takes a sip of his coffee, not even bothering to chide you for sitting on the counter. You know damn well Denji and Power wouldn’t be able to get away with that.

“We have that mission from Ms. Makima coming up this weekend.”

“That’s…not what I meant…”

He pauses, lips lingering on the rim of his mug. His hair is still frazzled from sleep, hanging over his shoulders. (Not that you want to run your fingers through it or anything. No, of course not.)

“…Then what do you mean?”

You smile, tugging on the hem of his sleepshirt, inching his body closer to yours. “We need a vacation, a real one. Not just a solo mission, either. Just you and me…” You lean in close, lips brushing against the apple of his cheek. Lifting your knees and wrapping your legs around his waist. “…And maybe a nice hotel room, with soft sheets, a bottle of wine, and maybe even—”

“Ooh, sounds good! When are we heading out?”

The two of you pull away from each other at once; your face flushed with heat as Aki clears his throat, turning back to the mess of dishes in the sink. Denji sprawls his upper half along the counter, eyes shifting lazily back and forth between you and your boyfriend.

You don’t know how much more of this you can take.

“We aren’t going anywhere,” you hiss through your teeth. “Forget it.”

He lets out a groan just as Power stumbles into the kitchen, Meowy snuggled up in her arms. You sigh and jump off the counter; out of the corner of your eye, you can see Aki shaking his head at you.

You love the little family the four of you have created…but damn it, not at the cost of a little private time with your own boyfriend.

Thankfully the weekend comes faster than you thought, and as you’re driving through the streets at night, the files from Makima resting in your lap, you’re starting to wonder if Aki had a point when he saw this as a vacation.

The destination’s set, the roads are quiet, and the stars are absolutely gorgeous. And the best part? No Denji and Power to bother you.

For the first time in literal months, you have Aki all to yourself. And you’ll be damned if you let this opportunity slip through your fingers.

You shift in your seat, adjusting the papers and folders in your lap (also possibly parting your thighs a bit—just to get comfortable, you swear). “How much longer till we get there?”

“It’s not far,” he says, sounding a little strained from the long drive. “We’ll be there within the hour.”

Meaning the hotel Makima booked for the two of you. Despite the work and expectations for the two of you during this mission, it’s hard not to get excited at the thought of finally being alone with him. And in just an hour you’ll be in that hotel room, far away from any distractions named Denji and Power. Locked inside four walls with no one there to bother you. Just you, your boyfriend, a comfy king-sized bed…and the whole night ahead of you.

Trouble is, you don’t think you can wait that long.

You clear your throat and shift in your seat again. Aki hasn’t noticed your little game yet, too focused on the empty road ahead. So you stretch out your arms in a yawn, tossing the files into the backseat of his car. Rolling your shoulders, squeezing your thighs together.

When he still doesn’t glance your way, you reach out and rest your hand on his crotch.

You’re lucky he doesn’t swerve off the road at that; immediately his body goes rigid, his knuckles a stark white as he grips the steering wheel. Gritting his teeth as he struggles to keep his eyes on the road.

“…Seriously? You can’t wait a bit longer?”

“I’ve been waiting for weeks now,” you mumble, squeezing your fingers around him. He rolls his eyes, as though he’s not growing hard beneath your palm right now. “Can’t help it, I need you—”

“And I need to focus on driving.” He sucks in a sharp breath at your touch, but he makes no move to swat your hand away. “…Stop it.”

“Or what?” It’s hard not to smirk at the look on his face, the way his eyes glow beneath the faint lights on the side of the road. “You gonna punish me? Tell me what a bad girl I am?”

“I-I’m serious—”

“And so am I.” This time he full-on whines when you squeeze your hand around him. You press your thighs together, already feeling your panties growing damp. “It’s just the two of us, Aki. Me and you, like it was in the beginning. Like hell I’m not gonna try to get in your pants.”

He groans again, shaking his head, jolting when the car hits a slight bump in the road. His fingers flex against the steering wheel, eyes fluttering shut with every roll of your wrist, every touch of your fingers.  

But you win in the end; before you know it he’s slowing the car down to a stop, right on the side of the road. No one’s around for miles, no cars coming up in the distance.

Just you and him, as it always should be.

He’s panting by the time he unbuckles his seatbelt. Sliding his seat back to make room for you, as you wrestle with your own seatbelt in the passenger’s seat. It finally slips off and you crawl into his lap, pressing your chest against his own, lips hot and demanding as he pulls you in for a kiss.

“Such a fucking brat,” he mumbles, already fumbling with the hem of your shirt. You barely manage to pull it over your head before he’s on you again, trailing a line of kisses down the side of your neck. “Really couldn’t wait another fucking hour, huh?”

“Nope,” you reply, popping the p with a smirk.

He opens his mouth but you cut him off with a roll of your hips. The delicious friction of your clothes and the heat of the car sending your eyes rolling back into your skull.

Damn it, you’re like a pair of horny teenagers. Has it really been that long since you last shared a night together? Are you really that desperate to be close to him that you’d risk it all for a quick fuck in his car on the side of the road?

Yes, absolutely. You’ve always been the type to take risks, after all.

“Fuck,” he groans into your mouth when you roll your hips again. Too eager to feel him against your body, can’t be bothered to take off any more of your clothes. He reaches up, squeezing your breasts, rolling them in his palms as you kiss your way down his neck. “T-too fast—”

But you can’t stop, and he makes no move to push you off. So you keep thrusting your hips, eagerly chasing your release. He brings your mouth to his again, sliding one hand to cup your ass, dragging your hips along his own.

You reach out behind him, fingers snagging on the little hair tie and pulling it free. His black hair spills over his shoulders, making it easier for you to tangle your fingers in the strands. He doesn’t seem to mind; only pulls you closer, hips stuttering against your own.

Your name tumbles from his lips as a faint pink color washes over his cheeks. “Can’t—shit, ’m gonna—”

You cut him off with a kiss, stilling your hips slightly, shifting yourself just enough to unfasten his belt. The last thing either of you want to do is finish the car ride with messy pants; it’s bad enough you already have to change your panties by the time you’re through here.

He slips his cock out, giving it a few quick strokes, his eyes never leaving yours as you shimmy your way out of your pants. It’s a little hard, given the lack of space in the car to begin with. But finally they’re on the passenger’s seat beside you, panties resting right on top of them. You spread your legs and straddle him, hands curled around his shoulders. Swallowing his moan of your name as you sink yourself onto him, the stretch of his cock sending a shiver down your spine.

“F-fuck,” he hisses against your throat, “missed this, y’know…”

You can’t hold back your smile, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck. “I know, I did too.”

At least now you know you’re not the only one left feeling needy after the last couple months.

The two of you stay like that for a bit, getting used to the feel of each other. His hands sinking down to your waist, fingertips pressing into the soft skin of your hips. You swirl his hair in your hand, pulling it back and kissing his forehead. Only when he gives you a nod do you start to move your hips; slow and soft, eyes fluttering when you lean in and capture his lips in a kiss.

It’s been too fucking long since you were able to do this last; you’d almost forgotten how wonderful it feels, having him deep inside you. Hard and heavy, sending blissful shivers along the length of your body. Pressing up against that spongy spot inside you, the same one that makes you squirm and clench around his aching cock. Just the thought of it has you moving your hips faster, matching your earlier pace. But Aki is quick to help you, his hands guiding your hips against his own, moaning into your mouth with every thrust.

The windows are starting to fog up around you, the car jerking with every move you make. It must look so stereotypical from an outsider’s perspective; a couple of horny lovebirds who couldn’t wait till they got to their hotel room. Well, you’re the horny one—but Aki is just as guilty as you are, if his moans are anything to go by.

“That’s it,” he mumbles against your lips, “feel that? Feel how hard you get me? What you fucking do to me?”

Yeah, you do, and you love every fucking second of it.

“M-much better than waiting for the…for the hotel room, right?”

He doesn’t answer, only grasps your hips tighter and forces himself deeper into you. You’re panting hard, bouncing on his cock at a brutal pace, a thin layer of sweat beading at your forehead. Aki leans down to kiss your breasts, taking one of your nipples between his teeth.

You’re close, so fucking close you’re practically babbling at this point. Eyes squeezed shut as he rocks himself deeper into you. Whining out his name, nails biting into his shoulders as he drives you closer and closer to the edge.

“Please,” your voice is sweet against his lips, words tasting like honey on his tongue—and suddenly he’s thrusting into your wet heat as hard as he can, as fast as he can, just a little bit more, a little bit, a little bit—

He swallows your scream as you gush around his cock, thighs trembling around his waist. It’s not long before he follows suit, barely managing to pull out before he reaches his own peak. Your fingers find his cock at once, and with a few rapid strokes he’s groaning into your neck, thick white ropes coating your palms.

As much as you want to stay in his lap for a little while longer, you know better than to push your luck. Aki never likes dealing with too much of a mess after sex; besides, you two still have a mission to do, a hotel to get to before they give your room away.

He helps you climb off his lap, as gently as he can, settling you back into the passenger’s seat. He keeps a stash of wipes in the glove compartment, something you never thought you’d be grateful for in the past. He cleans you up and pulls your panties back over your legs, giving you a firm kiss on your lips when he’s done.

“Think you can hold out just a bit, till we get to the room?”

You give him a weak nod, snuggling against the seat cushion with a smile on your face. “I think so.”

And then he smiles, a soft and small one that makes your heart flutter in your chest. He rolls down the windows, letting the cool night air wash out the sticky smell of sex. Once your clothes are straightened and the windows aren’t as steamy, he starts the car again and begins the trek down the road, picking up right where the two of you left off.

But this time he holds your hand in his own, giving it a soft squeeze as declarations of love spill from your lips. 

[myalchod]

For the writer ask: 9, 18, 19, any or all, please and thank you! 💜

9. start to finish, how long did it take you to write the last fic you posted? Last fic I posted was make a mercy out of me. File created 11 June, though I think I started noodling about it as soon as prompts went up and might have started as much as a week earlier, and fic posted 19 June. Considering I had to change things quite a bit, I'm surprised it only took me two weeks, but sometimes the brainrot goes fast.

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic In no particular order, things that pop into mind: medieval abortifacients and the Catholic church's historical attitude towards them, different ways of constructing ciphers, bat- and bird-wing rehabilitation, Pony Express travel timelines, reconstructive hand surgery, asphyxia timelines and what effects it'll have ... and a whole hell of a lot more about the Franco-Spanish war in general and the Fronde in particular than I ever anticipated. Yes, I am all too aware of how many of those things are whumpy. Not sorry!

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic I do, in part because you never know if they'll be useful for something else, which means I have a metric fucktonne of word things I've saved. And I know this says sentence or paragraph, but because I'm in a stabby sort of mood and I don't think I'll ever be able to use this for anything else ... this is from make a mercy out of me, from the part that I had to change because Canon, and this is your one and only warning for pain. 😘

“Saul.” He turns to her; she’s standing with her back to the window, moonlight silvering her golden hair and throwing her half into shadow where it slants across the room. They had stood like this months before, when this all began, on a night that seems impossibly different, feeling the first rumblings of the seismic shift that awaited them. But whatever tomorrow brings they will face it together, and he can take solace in that. “No.” It takes a moment to register the word, another to realise that she’s answered his thought. He has known her for most of his life; sometimes he thinks he knows her better than he does himself. And that means that the single syllable tells him what is about to come. “Farah —” he protests, but it dies in his throat as her mind wraps around his. The bond has always been a comfort before, her presence a reassurance, but not now. Not like this. Don’t do this, he thinks, because she has taken his words and he has no other way to fight her — and fight he must, because his fairy has always seen herself as expendable and he can’t do this without her, he can’t, he’s lost too much and one more thing will break him — Silence, within and without, answers him — silence, and a complicated tangle of emotions, guilt and fear and love and something that might be an apology all weighing like a stone in his chest before they are muffled, the connection between them obscured in a way it hasn’t been since he first properly noticed it. It feels strange but no less so than his mind: every thought is like pushing through exhaustion, an almost impossible effort. Easier to sleep, he thinks. Easier by far to close his eyes, to let himself drift, until he can recover, to sink down … (All he knows is the silver moonlight, then nothing more.)

[ ask me another? ]

[ineadhyn]

Writer interview

@vixstarria tagged me and I finally get to do it! Thank you <3

I am tagging @sky-kiss @scuttlingcrab and @thedomesticanthropologist

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

13 and some are multi-chapter. All are BG3 except for a german Inkheart one

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

85.408 -that is a surprising amount of words for being active less than a year

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

His consort, his god - I finally wrote smut for a popular ship XD (bloodweave)

At her mercy - kinky sapphic Karlach x Durge smut

Natures most beloved treasure - Halsin x trans masc Tav smut

Direct from Hell Logistics - ongoing Raphael x Haarlep comedy/angst/smut/plot - this one has it all

A song of snow and embers and Copper Hearts share this place. one is a F/F/F/F foursome and the other my Astarion x male Tav longfic

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I appreciate every single comment and try to show that. There's nothing better than the e-mail that says "comment on your work" and it can make my whole day. Sometimes I don't know what to respond if it's just a word or a keybord smash, but rest assured I see you and I love every one of those, too.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Angsty ending hmmmm. Because some of my stuff is not completed yet I am not gonna spoil anything but Dust and ash about Astarion's backstory was naturally quite angsty

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Not. gonna. spoil XD

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not yet. Maybe I could count Copper hearts because I took Francys from my original work and planted him into Bg3

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, not yet.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do. I am exploring all kinds atm with preferably queer pairings wlw or mlm or nb. I can also write mlw from the men's perspective but not the other way round :D

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Boy I wish.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No and I am not sure if I could commit to a project like that.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Hmmmmm ... Raphlep probably

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

My german Inkheart fic with a genderbent lesbian Basta. Damn I was invested in creating this character, but gave up after a while because it was a lot of work and it being german and a niche topic in a small fandom was not very rewarding tbh. I know I should not care and maybe I'll come back to it when the Inkheart obsession comes over me again.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I am good at setting the scene. Atmosphere and small mundane details that make the setting feel alive. I have always liked that in reading as in writing, because it makes you feel like you are actually there when you can hear and smell and taste the scene.

Also I am okay at developing coherent plot, but that's mainly practice from writing a lot of og work before I started with fics.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I still struggle with english grammar and punctuation at times so I always have a beta reader. And I am lucky to have great ones.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I am not a fan. It confuses me. Singular phrases and such yes, but not entire dialogue. Especially if it's german in an english fic I get super confused.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

*digs through her files* So, my first works were basically fic for my best friend's story. (I was in my early teens.) But since she was the author the lines between canon and fic are blurry and the "fandom" consisted of three people of which one was the author XD

So if we don't count that the first one would be Hunger Games - It was one chapter and I never published it

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

We'll see what posesses me next I guess, though I think Bg3 will stay with me for a considerable amount of time. And ship wise ... I feel Durgetash creeping up on me.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Definitely Direct from Hell Logistics. I am having so much fun with it. It constantly makes me laugh and sheme and I also feel all the angst. Also it is ongoing and I get to explore the story alongside the readers (though I have a rough plot structure to keep me on track).

[vodkacheesefries]

Thought it would be fun to do an intro post for each of the three households I'll be rotating through in my historic sims file. Also told my buddy @schitzophrenicrainbows I would make one of these. It'll also help me keep things organized as I play the challenge since I'm committing details to writing.

Up first and beneath the cut, we have a little history dump and our Gladiators.

Gladiators initially started out as poorer people and slaves who were inscribed to fight and train in the gladiator schools, Ludus Magnus. Over time as people began to see the fame and honor that could be won in the arena, though it was more rare, people did start to voluntarily join these gladiator schools.

Due to the popularity of gladiator fights, and how pricey it got to train and house them, not every single gladiator fight was to the death for its contestants. (For the purpose of Finn's story/challenge rules, his fights will be.)

There's debate whether the infamous "thumbs down" actually meant the opponent HAD to die or not. It could have just meant they were disgraced and couldn't compete anymore, but I can't find definitive answers one way or the other, and the opinions I found on this often contradicted each other. (I could probably text my sister with three degrees all about ancient to medieval Italian/Roman history, but how do I explain to her I need to know for my Sims game lmaooo) All that said, gladiators often didn't live past their mid-twenties given the hazards of the job.

Gladiators were also sex symbols (do yourself a favor and look up ancient Roman graffiti. Humans are the same now as they were then lmao). Idk how much that'll play into my game but Finn does have to find a partner and have kids so the legacy continues but we'll get there when we get there.

Rana

Rana is the gladiator who has been at the Ludus Magna the longest. Her traits: Creative, Self Assured, Loyal.

She came from a wealthy merchant family, but the family business didn't interest her much. She left home when she was young to find herself and ended up finding the arena. She picked up sword fighting quickly and proved her aptitude for not only fighting, but teaching others to fight as well. These days she only competes occasionally, as she has proven herself invaluable in creating more gladiators.

She's hitting a point where the losses of her pupils, and more importantly friends, are starting to weigh on her. She likely isn't going to just be allowed to retire, though, so she has to figure something else out.

Apollo

Apollo named himself after a Greek God because he thinks he's hilarious. (This is debatable if you ask anyone who has spoken with him for more than five minutes.) He ended up at the Ludus Magnus due to his sense of humor; turns out a Senator doesn't like it when you make jokes about their philosophical ideas, even if they are stupid.

He doesn't enjoy the gladiator lifestyle much if he's being honest, and is counting down the days until his "voluntary" contract with the school is over so he can use what money he's won and travel the world like he's always wanted to. His self absorption is part him being young, and part it being a front for the fear he has of not living out his dreams and he wears it like a protective front. His friends know better, though.

(He also thinks Spartacus is cute, but he's certain Spartacus is going to stay a gladiator till he dies and that doesn't work with what he wants in the long run.)

His traits are: Loves the Outdoors, Self Absorbed, and Outgoing.

Spartacus

Disclaimer: I did not make Spartacus lmao. I was hitting create-a-sim burnout so I hit up the gallery to find someone else's Roman themed sim. Although I did make some minor changes to his wardrobe, added scars and swapped out a couple of his traits, which are: Athletic, Proper, Loner. I ended up keeping his name because while it's on the nose for a gladiator, it fits.

Spartacus is a former member of the Roman Legionnaires. He was released from his service due to an injury he sustained abroad. Once he had healed, he found civilian life to be difficult to adjust to, so he signed a contract with the Ludus Magnus. He's here for a good time, not a long time.

But lately, he's been spending more time with Apollo, and he's starting to change his mind. But surely someone as handsome as Apollo wouldn't be interested in someone who'd rather spend his time meditating than socializing at a party...

Finn

Finn's traits are: Athletic, Loyal, Ambitious

Finn knew the risks he was taking when he killed Antonius, but he doesn't regret it. He's now plotting his escape, and if his new found friends can survive, he'll bring them with him if they like. He really just wants to get back to Britain to what's left of his family and help them take back what is rightfully theirs and drive the Romans out.

By challenge rules, he has 10 fights to get through first. I also have to receive a silver medal or higher on at least 50 events, and I'll probably use his fights to accomplish at least 10 of those. (I've done six so far).

Will probably go over Laelius' household next along with the parts of the challenge they'll be completing, followed by his daughter's. Who I don't think I've posted so far.

Other households:

The Emperor's Family

The Frugi Household

[aita-blorbos]

Hypothetical Question, I think?

AITA for 'mistreating' the characters in my games?

God, I can't believe I'm even writing this. This feels so dumb.

I'm in pretty hot water with the public right now, so I'll keep things as vague as possible. Don't make any assumptions who I am. You are definitely wrong. That guy has better things to do than be here and ask crazy questions.

Ever since I (Adult, m) was little, I've been developing games. I developed them by using a special program, Gameworks, this firm, GF, put out. My first game was a massive success, my second one (a sequel) was met with mixed reviews since many didn't like how radical it was. GF made me an offer to buy the rights and produce a third game.

Who in their right mind would refuse that? Obviously, I took the money. The third came crashed and burned. It was full of bugs and all that. A small part of me died when I saw what they did to the IP. But I couldn't hold onto it forever. I had bigger plans. Why should I care?

Anyway, I hired my chilhood friend C (Adult, f) to help me with game development. We both worked on female characters since she insisted i shouldn't have only male ones. But ever since she created hers, there were these weird bugs in my games...

Anyway, I started a franchise of fighting games (which I don't get nearly enough credit for btw). I bought the rights to one of my favorite characters and obviously added him to the franchise. (gamers were so annoying, constantly whining about how characters were overpowered, underpowered, boring, ugh)

I made a huge game after that, but it flopped on release. I even paid the biggest gaming streamer to play it, but it was all for nothing because C messed with the game! She left bugs in there to intentionally sabotage me! Her ego was just to big to stand in the shadow of my greatness. And since everyone saw everything go to hell live... it bombed.

I had to take the money that was left and make my next game completely on my own again. It was supposed to be my great comeback. But then those modders took my half-finished game and made a mockery of it! So I filed a lot of lawsuits to get them down!

Sorry, I'm rambling. I'll try to keep it brief from here.

I did start another series, a shooter, but the characters were just too old... a breach thankfully corrupted a lot of data.

My Gameworks Assistant has been acting weird since then, telling me I'm in danger. It's weird, but... I've been thinking a lot lately... what if the characters I created... live somehow? It sounds so dumb, but... I think I fucked up with one of my characters especially.

He was the main character of my very first game and based on a younger version of my grandpa. And when my second game ever made got insanely popular... I just wanted to get rid of the game so it made me look like a genius. So I let my Gameworks Assistant delete everything from that game.

I don't know, this all sounds so stupid and crazy, but AITA for mistreating my game characters?

[memes-in-a-half-shell]

Villain AU - Deadlock, Part 2

Part 1 ||

I'm trying not to linger for too long with the chapters. I know where I want to head with this, and doing too much exposition might branch me into other sub-plots and I don't have the energy for thaaaaat.

So far I'm having fun with this AU :]

Quick note that this AU is set years after the events of the two movies. Characters are mid 20's to early 30's.

Also, goddamn, never thought I'd be researching things about collecting evidence and its naming convention for a court case 😂 writing does indeed make me learn a bunch of stuff~

The card was safe. All scans indicated that no trackers were attached, to which Donnie couldn't help laughing at, in a sense. What a lost opportunity. Yet again, maybe that woman had no need to track anyone .... for the moment.

It was with a long sigh that Donatello finally sat at his desk, staring at anywhere his eyes would fall. Leo had chewed him up a little after this failure of a mission. How could he have predicted this, anyway? It's not as if they're to expect random people at every missions they go out to! Donnie pinched in-between his eyes, right under his glasses, trying to clear his thoughts. He next nonchalantly got the woman's card out of his pocket, taking a moment to look over the drawing once again. What a clown, he thought.

Leaving it on his desk, he next lunged towards a toolbox nearby, retrieving an utility knife. Then hunching over the small piece, he proceeded to careful cut around the felt chip inside. Getting the prize out of its prison, Donnie then went for a USB key into which he could insert the hardware into a designed slot. He paused before plugging the device into his computer, opting first to open a secured session - to avoid any infiltraton nor leaks.

Plugging the USB key, he didn't have to wait long before a file opened, revealing two documents. The first one contained code, which he knew must have been what was used to confuse his tracking. The other was a single textfile:

Congratulations! To anyone reading this, you're not a complete idiot :) If I took anything from you, I am not sorry. Learn to keep your information under better security, you fucking scrub. If you found this randomly, or you're a fan of my work, consider paying me for my good broker's work. Follow the white rabbit and you'll find your way ;) With love, smooth_criminal

"Follow the white rabbit?" pondered Donnie to himself.

Opening back the code file, he started to search for keywords. "Smooth_criminal" found several instances, hinting that it was her username, or rather administrator name, on her computer. Curious, he then searched for "white rabbit". There were indeed some instances, and starting from the top always had the text followed by a "go lower" mention. Donnie couldn't help the light smirk on his lips. She was clearly referencing Alice in Wonderland, following the rabbit down its hole. The last mention was found next to a website address, one Donnie had already seen before. It was one of those sketchy places on the dark web that often dealt in information brokering, doxxing, questionable freelance contracts, you name it! Personally he was not a fan, but it did prove an interesting starting point whenever he needed to start his searches somewhere.

Knowing he'd have some ways to go before finding any of her traces, he paused his work and instead went to prepare some coffee. I'll sleep when I'm dead.

***

Unsurprisingly enough, Donnie did find a user by the name of "smooth_criminal". How original.

Was it her, though? There was always a possibility that she could have set breadcrumbs towards a dummy account, or simply some random person on that website. But now knowing that she was an information broker, if she were to build herself a brand, she simply couldn't lead any potential clients away.

Retrieving an account Donatello had created ages ago, he first poked around the forums to first get a grasp of how she was operating around. Well-versed in internet speak, yet remaining professional, the woman appeared to always wanting to get straight to the point. Time was money, and if she had to poke often in order to get simple information, she was quick to dismiss anybody.

Many users were leaving good reviews about her work; impartial and efficient were the major key words. She didn't give a fuck about your background or what you were doing with the information. In the end it was only a job waiting to be done.

Who wanted the Foot investors' list then, wondered Donnie as he opened a window to send her a direct message. He had to make sure it was really her.

HookedOnCoffee: What are your prices?

He sat back in his chair, patiently looking at the screen. It surprisingly didn't take long to spot the usual three dots in the chat, indicating that she was typing.

smooth_criminal: Depends on the type of information you want and the equipment I have to use. Can range from 700 to 1K+. What's your need?

Goddamn. Donnie was quick to open his bank account information (something he always kept hidden from his brothers, but definitely not from his father). It's been a while since he last did some freelance work, so his funds were starting to get low, but he could still afford something - relunctantly. Yet he also wanted to test her skills...

HookedOnCoffee: I need you to retrieve lost information about Sacks Group Ltd. smooth_criminal: You realize that company was disbanded years ago with the arrestation of Eric Sacks, yes?

Donnie smirked. He already knew where to get the information.

HookedOnCoffee: Are you comfortable with reaching into police classified documentation? They have digital records that may prove difficult to access... Only if you feel up to the challenge.

He felt like a smartass - and he liked it.

smooth_criminal: Just 'cause you're assuming I'd be a coward about it, I'll charge you 2K. Half of it before, second half when I have the info. You want it when?

Now Donatello wasn't smiling anymore... He glanced at his finances another time, sighing. He'd definitely need to refill his account after this. Welp, no sleep for me in the upcoming weeks.

HookedOnCoffee: The sooner, the better. Start tomorrow night. The information is at the Police Department at 1 Police Plaza Path, Lower Manhattan. Near the City Hall.

smooth_criminal: Send me the money and you got yourself a deal.

"A deal I could've done myself," mumbled the terrapin, sourly giving away the first part of the sum.

***

Of course it had to rain on that night. The end of winter and early signs of spring always brought this weird shift in the weather that always froze Donnie straight to his bones. Perched on a tall building near the given spot, he lowered his googles onto his glasses, shifting the lenses for a night vision. He knew the best point of entrance would be by the building's roof, especially through the large vent openings. Would the woman need to make her way to the actual hardware, or could she hack herself from a distance? The terrapin couldn't help feeling curious about her course of action - as outlawed it may be.

He spotted a form making its way on top of the police's building. Was that a grappling hook? He was starting to get a little impressed...

It indeed looked like the woman he saw back at that Foot stronghold, recognizing parts of her gear and those flashing green googles.

"Gotcha," smiled the turtle to himself, noticing her get into a vent.

He sprung to action, calculating his jump and fall to land straight onto the police building. Setting up a remote tracker into the vent she went into, he opted for another entry point - one he knew would converge with hers at some point.

One advantage of being the slimmest out of his brothers was that he could easily make his way through the tunnels. His weight was still a concern, mostly due to his techm but Donnie felt no rush to make his way completely to the woman, prefering to get a screen out and take control of the remote tracker he sent. He wouldn't lie about the fact that he did prepare for this coup. He already had a layout of the vents and knew where the information was stored. Did that smooth criminal do the same? Donnie stopped his tracker around a corner, soon getting a view of the woman now looking down through a grid. She first got a device out of one of her bags, turning it on and slightly slapping its side with a grunt. The antenna on it brought Donatello to guess that it might be a sort of camera jammer. Tapping some instructions in, the woman switched her device for a sort of screwdriver, then taking care of the grid. She first started diagonally, then holding a loose part of the grid and unscrewing the remaining corners. It allowed her to hold the grid and attach it to her grappling hook, then gently lowering it into the room below.

She graciously made her way down, Donnie's tracker following suit as careful as he could. The next room was filled with computer towers and only two screens in one corner. The terrapin smirked when he got a look through his screen. Of course there wasn't going to be a server to tap into for easy access. Which computer had the right information? That could take hours to find out...

The intruder appeared defeated for moment, patiently making her way around the room and trying to find any potential revelation as to which information was stored where. She brought her left wrist up, a hologram screen appearing and she was then scrolling through different windows and texts. Tapping to the side of her facemask, she then proceeded to launch a call, to Donnie's great confusion. As soon as it picked up, the other end of the line announcing itself to be NYPD's bureau of investigations, the woman started to talk, but her voice was now mimicking another.

"Chief Rebecca Vincent speaking," said the woman - and her tone was indeed modified to resemble Vincent's. "There is a request pending for disclosing evidence of the Sacks Group Ltd case. I have a team that must access their digital files for a classified investigation."

"We can have the hardware delivered to any desired precinct-"

"The team will be going directly to the department in order to avoid unecessary dispatch of the evidence. I only need the serial number of the machine on which the information is stored, and my investigators will reach into it first thing tomorrow morning."

"Appendix FAP.SGL-14-TRN-1318.LAN"

"Thank you, that is all."

The call ended, leaving Donnie slightly impressed. Not bad... not bad at all! If she had been smarter, she would've researched the court case and found that information beforehand - but his request of acquiring the evidence in the briefest delays might have pushed her to accelerate her processes.

The criminal was next on the move, easily finding the labeled computer and whipping out an external drive to plug it into. Tapping onto the devices with her left wrist's hologram, she completed the transfer in no time.

"Easy peasy," came out the woman's voice in its flanged tone, disconnecting her device.

She got one of her calling cards out, placing it on the computer tower before turning heels and proceeding to climb back up the vent and seal it shut. What a goddamn fool, thought Donnie, already moving his tracking device towards the card. You don't leave evidence after such a flawless performance... Collecting it, the mutant then steered the tracker through a hole in the grid, after making sure that the woman was no longer in sight. He finally got on the move as well, ordering his device to track back to him automatically. If he was quick enough, maybe he'd get to see where the other would head next. The downpour was hitting harder now, instantly souring Donnie's mood. Collecting his tracker and the card, he didn't wait to scan the perimeters, hoping to catch any traces of the human. The rain was making it harder to catch anything, his sensors mostly picking activity from nearby cars and some daring pedestrians out in this weather. Unwillingly forfeiting, the terrapin shook some water off before deciding to head back to the Lair...

***

The first thing Vee needed was a hot shower.

As she got into her small apartment, she instantly dropped her gear onto the nearest table, then stripping down and throwing her soaked clothes into a corner.

Standing beneath the hot stream, she closed her eyes, letting any and all stress wash down the drain. Her mind did wander back to the information she was tasked to gather. Usually her clients would request data that was fresh or of a high value ... so for her to collect documents from Eric Sacks' company seemed to be completely out of the blue.

Curiosity killed the cat. Stepping out of the shower and quickly putting out panties and a large hoodie, she grabbed the external drive and plugged it into her computer. Her initial search through the files mostly revealed budgets, employee files, so on and so forth. But her eyes did catch something about the project 'Renaissance', the simple mention of turtle subjects grabbing her interest.

Her thoughts brought her back to that night at the Foot's stronghold. She truly did wonder if she would ever see one of them again, although it might not be in her best interests. Maybe her commissioner wanted information as well regarding those mutants? With a shrug, Vee first copied the documents to herself, then zipping the rest for her client.

Logging onto the usual website, she first pinged her investor:

smooth_criminal: Here is a shot of the file, showing you that I have it. Send me the rest of the decided price and I will send it your way right away.

She couldn't help yawning, hoping her client wouldn't answer late so she could go to sleep next... After what felt like an eternity (frankly, it was more like 5 minutes), she saw the usual three dots pop up in the conversation.

HookedOnCoffee: I hope it wasn't too much of a hassle for you.

And with that, they sent the rest of the money, Vee already accepting and then starting the transfer.

smooth_criminal: I do not disclose any details of the operation. You have your information, that's what matters. HookedOnCoffee: Aight. Business is business, I get it.

Vee did lightly fiddle her fingers above her keyboard, debating if it was a good idea to poke about the data...

smooth_criminal: ... I'm curious though, why Sacks? Forgive my intrusion, but that company was mostly dealing in the medical sphere. The only interesting document I can think of would be in regards to the project Renaissance.

She hoped she wasn't shooting herself in the foot. Vee usually wanted to avoid digging into her client's affairs, but with her recent meeting with the turtles, she only wanted to connect some dots. The other's answer took some time before being delivered.

HookedOnCoffee: Some components of that project need to be revisited for personal matter. I will only leave it at that.

Fair. Vee kept a mental note to dig more into the files. Maybe there was indeed something in there that could be worth selling for...

***

Donnie could't have wished for a more ideal situation. Getting that file transfer from her gave the terrapin all the information he needed in order to tap into her system, plus the discreet session hijack he could launch alongside the last money payment. He didn't want to log into her hardware right away, fearing that it would raise an instant suspicion on the woman's part. Instead he prefered to be entertained by her random inquiry about project Renaissance. Aren't you supposed to be impartial or something?

He didn't really need the information - in fact he already had most of the files thanks to April and the police department. There wasn't much to be found in those documents, except the mention of the green ooze that was classified as alien. Most, if not all of it had been lost in the lab fire, which resulted in the substance never being really studied other than the initial tests. There were traces in his family's blood and it could be tested ... but they did really need to?

Donatello saved the woman's system information with a satisfied tap on his keyboard. As he leaned back into his chair with a relieved sigh, Raphael was walking nearby the workstation, having just finished a training session.

"What's up, nerd?" asked the red banded one.

"Oh I just love when things go according to plan," smiled the bespectacled mutant.

He vaguely gestured his screen, looking over at his brother with a smug expression.

"Remember that woman that stole the information from that Foot stronghold?"

"... I mean, I didn't see her, but yes."

"I've tracked her and I might be able to hack into her system."

Raph was now intrigued, coming closer and soon a smirk creeping on his features.

"Can you get a view from her webcam? Is she hot?"

"I, uh-"

That's right, he could see how she looked like! But was it wise to risk it now?...

"If she's smart, she either doesn't have a cam, or the view is blocked when not in use."

"Ay, come on, let's try anyway," nudged the large terrapin.

Here goes nothing... Using the ID he gathered, he was able to bypass firewalls by disgusing his connection as a simple operating system check. Entering some commands on his side, he soon had a list of accessible devices; one being indeed a webcam. He glanced at Raph before hovering and clicking the option with his cursor.

"If she notices and blocks my connection, you're a dead man."

"Good luck trying to beat me, twig."

With a double-click, a new window popped onto the screen, first giving out a black screen. After a quick loading, a video feed now appeared, allowing the two turtles to witness a view into the woman's apartment; and her form as well. She was up and about, collecting some of her gear she had scattered on her arrival.

"Bro, is she only wearin' a hoodie?" started Raph.

Donnie pointed at the screen when the woman bent forward.

"She has panties on."

Both brothers looked at eachother, smirking.

"Nice," they said in unison.

Looking back at the screen, Donatello took notes of her appearance. Colored hair, glasses, some visible tattoos on her legs and one at the top of her right hand. He knew she also had one on her chest, but did she have more? She wasn't bad looking - in fact he'd be a liar to say she was anything else but pretty. Her apartment appeared small, but quite enough for her needs. Various tech and scraps were laying around, the woman obviously working on some new gadgets of her own.

"Watchu gonna do now that you found her?" questionned the red clad mutant.

Donnie's finger tapped on his desk, pondering the question himself.

"... I'm quite not sure, to be honest. My first instinct would be to retrieve the information she took from us, but at the same time I want to know more about her. She seems quite capable with technology, and from what I've found she's also a competent information broker. ... I'm worried she's using all that talent for the wrong reasons."

"Ya think she could become an asset for the team?"

The purple clad mutant's gaze remained on the woman on screen, weighing what his brother said.

"... High risk, high reward. She could be useful, but there could be a potential danger that she'd out us out to anyone offering a large amount of money."

"Not if you intimidate her out of the idea," shrugged Raph.

Donnie frowned: "I won't do that!"

"I will then."

"No, just- Stop! Let me think over this."

Still frowning, he continued to look over at the woman, the gears of his mind turning. Frankly, he wanted to meet her again.

***

Living a normal life always paled so much compared to the thrills of seeking out information around the city. Her day job was more of an alibi. Getting employeed at a coffee shop that was opened 24/7 only offerred the greatest opportunity to alter a payroll and, bam!, yes I was working on that night.

Sighing as she closed the entrance door behind her, Vee's steps lingered out of fatigue, first making her way towards the small kitchen and grab a glass of water. She had been sollicited a lot lately from various contractors, offerring her very little to no sleep over the last few days.

As she walked past her computer, she halted after a few steps - and mid-drink - and frowned as she looked over her screens. Is she really that tired? Is the mouse cursor moving on its own??

She watched for some minutes as she saw windows getting opened and closed, all on their own. Annoyed, she took a seat and forcefully grabbed the control back on the cursor. Opening a notepad document, she instantly wrote:

Hello??? Who the fuck do you think you are???

Some lines were skipped, a simple word being added:

Hi :)

"Esti d'criss," she swore in French before rushing out of her seat.

She made a beeline to her router, knocking stuff over in her hurry. First unplugging the box, she looked back over her screen like a deer facing headlights, almost expecting an entity to jump out of there for some reason...

Finally walking back to her desk, she first saw that the internet connection had successfully been cut. When glancing back at the previously opened notepad, she saw another line written:

Don't worry, I just wanted to know more about you. I got what I needed. We'll meet one day.

That sent a shiver down Vee's spine - not the good kind. She tried to go over the list of people she last dealt with. Did she provoke anyone without really wanting to? Or maybe it was a weirdo that was too enamored with her work? Freaked out for the evening, Vee decided to turn off her machine, prefering to focus on anything else.

((Part 3))

[lixenn]

COMES IN TO BOTHER YOU. what was the first fic you wrote? do you have any cool keychains/trinkets you carry around? if money and time was no object, what field of study/career would you pursue? what is a book youre currently reading?

WOW SO MANY QUESTIONS I LOVE IT!!

Let's get you some answers then:

First fic

... Already stumped at that one, because damn my memory is so fucking bad. I can't even ruffle through my documents on laptop because when I first started writing I had a different one and I'm not sure if I transfered all the files when I upgraded.

*tries to make the brain do the thinking thing*

I think actually my first try at anything fanfic like was with my super cringy self-insert thing into the Percy Jackson universe. I didn't even know fanfic was a thing at the time and I'm pretty sure I deleted that document because it went absolutely no where, so yeah that was probably it. I was and still kinda am pretty obsessed with Uncle Rick's work, so it's no surprise to me that I tried my hand at writing fanfic without knowing the concept even existed. However I wouldn't be able to tell you what that story was about even if you put a gun to my head so I can't really give you much detail.

Cool keychain/trinkets

Unfortunately no cool keychains for me, I have a heart shaped one my mum got me from her trip to Berlin but that's pretty basic. As for trinkets? Do earrings count? Because I have some pretty dope sword earrings.

The keychain situation might change though, because my friend is going to Japan in May and he promised to get me a souvenir, so maybe I'll have a cool KHR keychain soon (might get something else though who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Field of study/career

It's a toss up between Writer and Owner of Small Crochet Business. I would love to spent my day just being creative and making stuff. I do like science and I think with all the time I invested in my studies I can say I'm not bad at it but it's not my passion. Like, learning about new stuff is fun and I certainly can do experiments and data analysis but give me the option to simply chill on my couch/bed and just create, I would choose it over science every single time.

I'd probably need to get a better grip on scheduling my day because I realized having a strict routine does wonders for my mental health but otherwise just let me make stuff and I'll be happy.

BOOKS

*stares at all the books in my shelf that I've started but currently don't have the energy to read*

...

You want me to choose just ONE?

Well, if we take the one I read the most recently it's Assisstant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Meahrer. It's a cozy fantasy romance, easy to read and quite funny at times. I liked the premise so I picked it up and I'm over half way through but my brain is so focused on writing right now, I don't really have the motivation to read (which is very strange since normally it's the other way around.)

Other titles that are gathering dust in my self:

The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch; also funny but in a more serious way, very heavy on the worldbuilding which is awesome but it takes a lot of brainspace so I put it on hold for now.

As Good as Dead by Holly Jackson; I binged the first two books in the trilogy in a day, but this one a bit darker than the others (which makes sense because shit happened) and I need to be in a certain brainspace for that.

The colour of magic by Terry Prachett; I read a lot of Discworld as a kid but I read it in German. This book is my first try reading Prachett in his original glory and it's actually a bit difficult, because again very heavy on the worldbuilding.

I know you only asked for one book, but I'm a chronic oversharer and you asked about BOOKS okay?! I'm bad at controlling myself when it comes to book discussions, so be glad I just kept it to four examples, I could have listed more!

[aurorawest]

Reading update, part 2

The Perplexing Theft of the Jewel in the Crown by Vaseem Khan - 4/5 stars

All the Way Happy by Kit Coltrane - DNF

Couldn't get past the fact that it was blatantly Drarry fanfiction that had had the serial numbers filed off. It was seriously distracting. I don't have an issue with fic authors doing that (I'M ONE OF THEM), but this read like a find and replace had been done on the names, and nothing else had been changed. If the prose hadn't been so overwrought I might have enjoyed it, but the combination of Drarry AU + purple prose was just too cringey for me.

Total Creative Control by Joanna Chambers and Sally Malcolm - 5/5 stars

Ahhhhh I loved this book. I've only read Chambers's historical fiction so I was curious what this would be like, and it was so good. So so good.

Also, sometimes my wife says stuff and I'm like 'that's not a real thing that English people say, that's probably some weird thing her family says.' But then I'll read it in a book by an English person and I am schooled. Anyway that happened several times in this book.

The Name Bearer by Natalia Hernandez - DNF

I don't mind a slow-paced book but there was just so much info dumping in the first chapter, when chapter 2 started with more info dumping, I gave up.

Crossroads by Riley Hart - DNF

This book started with a description of the main character's apartment. There wasn't anything special about it, nor was it described in a unique way. I DNFed halfway through page 2. I know I have another Riley Hart book sitting in my TBR, which I will be digging out bringing to my local bookstore's used book buyback.

Godkiller by Hannah Kaner - 4.5/5 stars

Did Not Expect to enjoy this one. I got this in an IllumiCrate and I just remember the little blurby thing you get where the author talks about the book saying something about how she loves angry women. I'm over it. Angry is not a personality! Stop writing women who are angry and thinking you've written a well-rounded character!

But actually this book was really good! Predictable, but a good read. Unusually, my favorite character was the child. It helped that she had an adorable hare/bird/deer god of white lies following her around.

Tommy Cabot Was Here by Cat Sebastian - 5/5 stars

I love Sebastian's regency romances but I might love this series more. This is a very, very quick read (right around 100 pages) but she's just so good at creating these wonderful, fully-realized characters that you love from the first sentence.

As You Walk on By by Julian Winters - 2/5 stars

So at this point I think I have to concede that Julian Winters is not the author for me. He's constantly lauded as this wonderful writer whose books will make you smile for days. This is the third one I've read and I nearly DNFed it. The only thing that kept me going, ironically, was that I really liked the love interest and was rooting for them to get together. Typically I find the romances in Julian Winters books to be very flat and un-swoony. This one was actually quite nice though.

But the main character. Jesus Christ. He's SO annoying. Him and his shitty BFF who he falls out with deserve each other, honestly. There's only so many times I can sympathize with you because you have a comfortable, middle-class life and you go to a fancy pants private school, but waaaaah sometimes your friends don't say exactly the right thing about you being queer. Also having your MC tell the teenage girl who gets slut-shamed, gossiped about, and sexually harassed everywhere she goes that actually she doesn't have it as bad because she's white was...an interesting touch.

And idk if the Youth actually act and talk the way the teenagers do in this book, but if they do, I'm very glad I don't know any teenagers.

Why did I rate this book 2 stars instead of 1? Oh! I really liked Luca. He deserved a better book. And I liked River a lot, too. And the fact that this was clearly a take on The Breakfast Club was fun, just...not executed as well as I would have liked.

Part 1

[cherokeegal1975]

As it says in the text. I found this a long time ago and stuck it in my journal. Years later I did a trace just to make it sharp and clear and so that I could more easily replace it back in my journal when I eventually convert my handwritten journals into typed text. I'm a little worried about this project I'm planning so I'm putting it off some. I'm waiting to be in a better mental place before taking it on.

My goal is twofold. One is to consolidate all my journal entries into one book. I'm aware that no one but myself will give a crap about my writings and musings. But I still think it's important to get them as organized and cleaned up as I can. The second reason is self-reflection. Seeing who I was as compared to who I will be when I finally get to where I need to go. I think once the risk of falling into a deep depression has passed (mine is environmental, not physical), it might prove helpful to go through those entries and get some perspective. Or at least I hope that's what will happen. I'm all about personal growth and self understanding.

The project won't be a cheap one. Blub is expensive, but I still think it's worth it. The quality of their books is very good...though I think their prints of my digital art could be better. I hear no complaints about photos however.

Why make books when I have files? Well, I'd love to see my work in print. Computers are very reliable, but not completely. I do back up my files, but I don't know if this computer breaks down, if I can get another one. Each time I get a laptop, I do realize it may be the very last one I'll ever get. I'm not made of money and a good laptop is expensive.

Books also make great keepsakes! Of course, I want to see my works on my bookshelf. Who wouldn't? I'm also working on the contents of my future art journals. One for sale, that will be G Rated and public worthy, even if it barely sells. The other personal and not for sale. That one, anything goes. The good, the terrible, the bad ideas that seemed good at the time, the scribbles, the beautiful...whatever. That one will be for me and me alone.

I can't afford to make the books now, so, I keep drawing and building up content just in case I'll one day be able to create them.

As far as the Snake Lady...not my art, you're welcome to use her. I don't know who the artist was, I'd love to give that person credit for their work. The best I can do is make sure that everyone knows this isn't my artwork. Just a trace of something I found some years ago.